Vader's Kids
by vakuri
Summary: Anyone think that Darth Vader’s kids were making a fool out of him? Let’s explore the Sith Lords’ relationship with his twins Luke and Leia Skywalker. How tough of a father is he really?
1. Chapter 1 I Take Care of My Kids!

_**Anyone think that Darth Vader's kids were making a fool out of him?**_

_**Let's explore the Sith Lords' relationship with his twins Luke and Leia Skywalker**_

_**How tough of a father is he really?**_

_**I thought it was funny that Vader's kids were running around with their friends sabotaging the Imperial Cruiser and space station. Could you imagine Palpatine's real reason for taking Vader aside to rein Luke in???**_

_Chapter 1_

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'_I Take Care of My Kids!'_

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A twelve-foot hologram of the cloaked Emperor Palpatine materializes in a darkened room before Darth Vader. The voice is full of fury. He makes an announcement. The news is not good.

"Lord Vader, there has been another breach in the space station. There is a great disturbance in the force..."

The Emperor Palpatine reveals himself, with some difficulty, from behind the heavy crimson drapery near the window of his office. He is holding a file in his hands. Lord Vader knows what's up but he lets the Emperor continue. He rolls his eyes and braces himself for another lecture from the old goat.

"Who has the worse kids in the Galactic Empire?"

"Admiral Motti, Sir?"

"No."

"General Tagge?"

"Cut the _horsesith_, Lord Vader. I've got their disciplinary files right here. Who dropped a whole shipload of crazy string into the Imperial guard? Who delivered the General Grievous' cadaver to the Imperial anniversary dinner? Every Boonta Eve, the escape pods are filled with underwear. Every spring, the refreshers explode."

"It could be anybody, sir. It couldn't be my kids…"

"Of course it's your kids, you helmet head! Get your bloody kids in line or get them off the space station!!! It is a place of business! You're the only one whose children board the space station and the Imperial star ship and wreck it up on a regular basis! Just last week we had to replace another sliding door and control panel! Your daughter's boyfriend shot out the communications panel in the holding area with a blaster! To top that off, the bridge to the landing area is out again. I can't have my soldiers Tarzan-swinging across to the landing bay just because the bridge is out!"

"Are you sure it's my kids?"

"We have a flood in the garbage disposal system and some of the storm troopers received buckshot wounds during a shootout. I'm beside myself as to how to handle this. It's costing me thousands a day in repairs and workmen's comp. Well, what do you intend to do? Shall I go on?" He slams the file down on his desk. The force causes other papers on the desk to fly in a disorganized mess onto the floor.

Lord Vader purses his lips, and then sheepishly fesses up.

"No, I know it's my kids"

"This is insanity. Your children have no respect for authority or the Empire. Leia doesn't take my position in the Empire seriously. She talks back to me constantly. Governor Tarkin has also complained to me about her insolence."

"I know. I tried to talk to them, my master. You know how kids are." Vader manages a wry smile.

"No, I don't. You're the one who thought it was "cool" to run off to get married. I just want this circus to stop. Your son, Luke Skywalker, can you bring him on board to the dark side to work off the damages?"

"I could do that. But, he's only a boy...he meant no harm. Come on…didn't you ever _'eff'_ up when you were his age?"

"Of course not! I've always been an old soul. I was always too busy plotting to take over the galaxy to have a childhood. Now, I'm at my wit's end. Handle him straight away. Then there's your daughter. Do you approve of this boyfriend of hers, this Han Solo guy? He's another smart mouth little bugger. No doubt she picks up her bad habits from him."

"No, my Master. She won't listen to me. I tried everything, tough love…" He sighs. "I tortured her boyfriend; I encased him in carbonite. I even blew up Alderaan and made her watch. She's strong-willed and full of passion like her old man."

"Well, I don't care how you do it but I want this matter resolved. It's embarrassing. You should be embarrassed. Your men are whispering about you."

"I felt them, my master. I force-choked General Needa just the other day."

"That won't solve anything. This isn't a frat house. I want your kids, their friends, and those droids off the space station by end of the business day. Understood?"

"Yes, my Master." He mutters to himself. _"Putz."_

"Did you just sass me, Lord Vader?"

"Me? No…Never." He storms out of the room.

He has to find a way to instill some fear into his kids and those hooligan friends of theirs.

Later at home  –

Vader has a "sit-down" with the kids. Leia is defiant as she faces her father in his study. The door is open.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I am a member of the student government Imperial Senate as an intern...you know that, Daddy!"

The Dark Lord shakes his finger at her.

"You are part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor! Go to up to your room!" He points towards the door at the stairs across the way.

"I hate you!"

She storms out of the study up the steps.

"Where have I heard that before?" He turns to Han Solo who is following her. "Young man, where are you going?"

Han is pointing in Leia's direction.

"I'm going with her... Mr. Vader, Sir…"

"Get out before you regret it! And get that Ford Falcon out of my docking bay, you're blocking my ship!"

Han cocks his head to the side with a hand on his hip. Using his right hand, he runs his index finger along the doorway molding. He does not look at the imposing figure of Vader directly.

"You know, you could be a lot nicer."

Vader sarcastically appeases Solo.

"_Please_."

Solo leaves the house to move the Millennium Falcon. Chewie follows after giving Vader the finger and letting out a snarl.

Han Solo is walking in front while speaking to Chewie as they leave the house and head down to the docking bay, "Hold up, let me call Leia on her cell...Hello... Leia, it's me... I know...he's a real drag, your dad. I'll meet you outside your bedroom window in the Falcon. Meet me on the terrace…he never goes out there. Your father doesn't appreciate vintage ships. The Ford Millennium Falcon is a powerhouse. Your dad's a real d---k wad, Leia..." He listens on his phone as he starts down the steps. "….I know."

Lord Vader turns to Luke. He is exasperated but nudges Luke playfully and musses his hair.

"Luke, what am I going to do with you? I have a crew back at the space station who wants to kill you. You have a blatant disregard for authority." He sighs. "The Emperor wants you to work off the damage done to the space station."

"But, Dad! I was going to Toschi Station to pick up some power converters!"

"You're not going to Tatooine today. You can buy power converters that are just as good right here on Coruscant…But that's a moot point because you're grounded. Give me a good reason why I should let you slide on this one."

"Do I have to??? The old guy gives me the creeps. He's always popping up whenever I'm going to your office. Don't we have a restraining order against him? He's supposed to keep a distance of 12 parsecs from me and Leia, right?"

"Don't be funny. And yes, the court ordered him to keep a distance of 20 yards. At the office it's 15 feet and you know why."

Luke tries to cajole his father into letting him off the hook.

"Come on, Dad…_Toschi Station_…I promise not to ask you ever again…Gotta love me." He smiles and elbows his father in a playful manner. The playfulness is not reciprocated. Luke has no plans to go to the actual Toschi Station. He is referring to a local Coruscant City hangout popular with all the kids his age. His father always gets the two places mixed up.

Vader is exasperated. He finds it difficult to punish Luke. He wants his children to obey him but he also wants their love. Luke has always been his staunchest supporter. Vader always fell short of defining that fine line of discipline and indulging his children.

His relationship with Leia was strained at best. To add to this dilemma, she is his only daughter. She is a tough one. Leia is much like himself when he was a padawan. They were two of a kind. No wonder they butted heads so often.

Vader buckles when it comes time to disciplining his only son. Vader also feels the guilt of being a workaholic parent. He knew it is wrong but he compensates by showering his children, especially Luke, with money and a new custom designed airspeeder. Now, Vader has to show Luke that he means business when he grounds the boy. The vehicle is on temporary lockdown in the docking bay.

"Oh, alright... go meet your friends at Toschi Station. Don't stay out too late. Need some money?"

"Can I have 500?"

"What??? 500??? What are you spending it on?"

"I was going to buy the new Extended Universe video game; power converters; and the latest issue of FHM magazine."

"Fine. ..."

"Gee, thanks, Dad!" 

"Here's another 100 credits. Get a haircut."

Luke knew that remark was coming. His father may have been a permissive parent at times, but he did demand that his kids keep themselves looking clean and presentable. Luke was just tired of hearing his father remind him about it.

"Okaaay!"

"That's my boy!" He pats Luke on the back. "I'll handle the Emperor."

After Luke leaves, Lord Vader starts to return to his meditation chamber in his study. Artoo and Threepio are still standing there. Vader knows they won't leave until he acknowledges them. Vader turns and yells.

"What???!!!"

Threepio nervously approaches Vader.

"Master, Ani, you really don't remember me??? You're my maker and you haven't said as much as a "Hello" since we came on board earlier today, Sir."

Artoo is chirping away

Vader releases a frustrated sigh.

"I'm a busy man. I built you when I was nine years old. Anyway, you belong to Leia and Luke now. Don't bother me with this nonsense. Besides, I see you everyday; you live in my house you twit! What's this 'on board' nonsense? We're not on a ship."

He checks his watch then looks down at Artoo. He points to the little astromech droid. "And what does _he_ want?"

Threepio responds in a chastising manner as he speaks to the 'lord of the house' while translating _everything_ that Artoo says.

"He says this does not make up for all the years of ignoring your children…And you're still the Emperor's b...Ooh never mind, Sir. He has confused you with someone else. He's got a lot of carbon scoring; it makes him say crazy things sometimes…heh..heh… I think the lens on his disc drive needs a bit of dust blaster. Come, Artoo, let's get you fixed up." He whispers aside to astromech droid. "_Shut up, you'll get us killed."   
_  
Vader allows Threepio to ramble on. The twins are currently on his mind at the moment and he has to think of an excuse to get Luke out of working for the Emperor. Lord Vader has heard enough from the droids.

"Oh. Okay. Got to go." Vader forgets about the meditation chamber and leaves the study. He heads for the terrace through the rear door.

Artoo is chirping away again to the protocol droid. Threepio ignores Artoo for the moment and waves goodbye to Vader.

"Goodbye. Thank you for being so understanding." He leaves with Artoo through the front door of the study. "But Artoo, you can't say such things. You know what he's capable of. He almost lopped off his son's hand for God's sake."

_Vader hated the fact that this "rumor" was circulating across the galaxy that he had sliced off Luke's hand in the reactor shaft on Bespin. It simply never happened!_

Artoo continues to chirp and beep to his friend. Threepio tries to put it all in perspective.

"Yes, Artoo, I know he's crazy. I think he's bipolar. He'll be back to killing and maiming, good as new by tomorrow. Let's get out of here! Handle the Emperor, indeed! I didn't see the Emperor help him save his wife! You are so right, Artoo...He is the Emperor's bitch!"

_To be continued….__ 'Escapades Strike Back!!!_'


	2. Chapter 2 Escapades Strike Back!

_ Chapter 2 _

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'_Escapades Strike Back!!!'_

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A WEEK LATER -

The Branch Death Star Battle Station is being repaired. The Emperor speaks to Vader about the progress.

"You've done well, Lord Vader."

"The Death Star repairs will be completed on schedule."

"That's not the information I heard."

"What have you heard, my Master?"

"Last week when we spoke it was agreed that you would present young Skywalker to me. I wonder if your feelings on this matter are clear, Lord Vader."

"They are clear, my master"

"Then why didn't he report to my office? I don't have time for such delays!"

"It's been resolved, my Master. Luke is busy studying for the bar."

"You never told me young Skywalker had aspirations of becoming a lawyer. But what's going to happen to our arrangement? I agreed to be lenient and allow the boy to work off the destruction caused by last weeks' high jinks."

"Arrangements have been made to have someone else step in to help with that matter."

"But it was supposed to be your son, Lord Vader. Who did you put in his place, your daughter Leia?"

"No, my Master. My secretary sent someone over just this morning. The name escapes me, but I understand he's a dedicated worker."

"Is he capable?"

"He's dedicated."

"Who recommended him?"

"I was told "Top men"

Meanwhile Han, Luke and Chewbacca are laughing hysterically after making a phony phone call. They are all doing 'high fives'

"Oh, man! That was fun!!!"

"I wonder how long it will take them to figure out it we sent Jar-Jar Binks to the Space Station. My dad's going to be pissed."

"Listen, kid. You've got to relax and live a little. Anyway, they don't know it was us. Remember when we sneaked onto the space station disguised as Storm troopers?? No one even noticed you were the shortest one there."

"Leia did."

"Well, Leia's, different…God, I love messing with your father and that old toad boss of his."

"But, Han, he warned us not to tamper with the space station again. He was pretty mad after the last incident. I told him I would stop. I promised!"

"Yeah, so mad, he paid you. Right. He's not gonna to punish his little "golden boy." So, how long do you think it will take before they realize Jar Jar's is totally incompetent?"

"When it's too late!" They laugh hysterically

"Hey, Luke, Let's order pizzas for the stormtroopers and bill the Emperor."

Chewbacca chimes in. He has some concerns.

"Chewy, if we keep a pizza they'll trace it to us. Anyway, Luke's still got some of that spending money from his old man. He'll spring for a couple of pies."

"Ohh, alright. Han, how come we never see you shelling out some money every once in awhile?"

"I've gotta hold onto to my cash. Remember, I am dating your sister. She is kind of high maintenance."

"My dad said you were a bum."

"Aw, he's being generous."

"You do a lot to piss him off. It's like a sport to you, isn't it?"

"Well, you try being encased in Carbonite, it's no picnic! No one tortures me and gets away with it."

"All I'm saying is back off a bit. He's going to go ape crazy when he finds out you're still dating Leia behind his back."

"And who's gonna tell him???"

" I'm just saying…"

"Watch your mouth kid, or you're gonna find yourself floating home. So, you get a date yet? Didn't I tell you to talk to my pal Lando? He'll set you up."

"I'm gonna meet him tomorrow. I've never been to a strip bar before. Biggs told me it was great. He said there's a girl working at the club named Sandy Beach. I wonder if she's from Tatooine."

Han is giggling.

"Boy, are you in for a surprise! Hey, we've got pizzas to order."

To be continued… _'Ground Control, Major Prank'_


	3. Chapter 3 Pizza! Pizza! Ground Control M

_Chapter 3_

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'_Pizza, Pizza! Ground Control Major Prank'_

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Some Time Later - Imperial Control Tower

Control tower voice.

"We've got a ship approaching…" Control tower addresses the ship. "State you purpose. You do not have clearance for a landing. State your business or you will be fired upon..."

Voice from ship finally responds.

"Chill, dude! I have a delivery for the troops and ground crew."

The Control Tower voice is heard again.

"Who sent you?"

The voice from approaching ship sounds somewhat annoyed.

"Dude, come on, this stuff won't stay hot forever, man. I gotta go make another delivery on Naboo."

The Control Tower voice is stern and abruptly requests more information.

"Repeat. Who sent you?"

Voice From Ship responds, "Chaa!!! The receipt is signed, maaan! He reads the signature with some difficulty. Grand Master Pal-pa-ti-na, Palpa-ti-no …oh! it's an '_E_'! Palpatine. Yeah, that's it! It's 100 pizzas for the troops of Emperor Palpatine, D.S. from Dagobah & Papal John's Pizza!"

Control tower voice replies, "You need the Emperor's signature?"

Voice from ship replies.

"Ahh…no, no…it's prepaid."

Control tower voice replies, " Alright, you may proceed into the landing bay. You have clearance."

Voice from ship answers, "Cool! I've never been on an Imperial Space Station before. Awesome!"

Once the ship lands, a ground crew removes the pizzas off the back of the craft. The delivery guy hands the receipt to the crew member

Delivery Guy, "There's also a note here. What's the "D. S." stand for?"

Ground Crew Chief takes the note, " Death Star..No, just joking. Darth Sidious."

The delivery guy is impressed, "Awesome! Is that anything like D.D.S. As in dentist? Grand Master Death Star sounds a lot cooler, dude. Palpatine sounds a little soft, if you catch my drift."

The Ground Crew Chief hands the delivery guy a tip.

The delivery guy bobs his head and tries to high-five the crew chief. The exchange fails to register. The delivery guy starts to leave, "Gee, thanks, dude! Enjoy the grub!"

Ground Crew Chief responds in the typical dry manner, "Thanks, kid. You can go now. You don't want those other pizzas to get cold."

The delivery guy, still in awe of the massive facility backs his way up the plank to the delivery ship. But this doesn't stop him from getting one more question in.

"So, you guys see a lot of action, eh?"

Ground crew chief answers in a military voice, "Enough! You can go now."

The delivery guy just can't help himself, "You guys need to get some major babe action in here. You're too uptight, dudes! Sex does a body good and a nice doobie helps too! I know where I can can score…."

The office points his blaster. The delivery guy raises he hands, finally backs away and leaves.

After the ship leaves a siren is sounded. All the storm troopers assemble to a large hall. They are ready for battle.

The Commander makes an official announcement, "Pizza Party!"

Weapons go crashing to the floor and everyone mills around the boxes to grab a slice. While everyone is eating, the Commander finally reads the note, full of typos, attached to the receipt:

"_To my troops, who have served under my command;_

_Your swift thinking and uncanny "marksmanship" is invaluable to the Empire_

_Give Pizzachance!_

_Signed,_

_Your luving Imperial leaderr P__ử__lpatine_

_Whoo-ah. Hah! __Xoxoxoxox"_

The commander shrugs then eats his pizza.

At the same time during Vader's meeting with the Emperor….

"Lord Vader, do you smell garlic?"

Vader tilts his head toward the vents in the room, "I did sense it, my Master."

"Smells like pizza."

Vader rolls his eyes, "I'm sure it's the generator overheating again. I'll have maintenance look into it."

Vader was growing tired of the old coot complaining about every little crack in the wall and every smell filtering through the ventilation system. He wished the old geezer would fall down a steep shaft or slip in a puddle of water and break a hip. He was even contemplating tossing the old guy over himself.

Meanwhile, back on the Millennium Falcon….

Han, Luke, and Chewy are eating pizza while listening in on the Emperor's conversation with Vader. During the distraction of the pizza delivery, a bugging device was placed on the space station.

Han, Luke, and Chewbacca are laughing hysterically and doing high-fives as they listen in on the conversations. Threepio and Artoo are listening as well.

Threepio gently taps Luke on the shoulder, "Master, Luke?"

Luke still has the urge to joke, "That's "Grand Master LS", to YOU!!!" More laughter from Han and Chewie

Threepio responds to the command, "Grand Mas-"

"I'm just joking, Threepio. It's just Luke."

The protocol droid finds little humor in Luke's quips and antics and makes his opinion known.

"Master Luke, are you sure it's wise to play these silly pranks on your father and the Emperor? It's getting out of hand. 'Mark' my words; it will be your undoing."

Han rolls his eyes and swings around in his chair, "Will someone turn him off, already???? We're trying to have a little fun here!"

"But, Master Luke…"

Han is growing impatient with the droid, "Mr. Belvedere, If you don't be quiet, I'm going to have Chewy tear you from limb to limb, you neurotic droid! Chewy will be angry too because he's eating! So shut-Up!"

Artoo is chirping in a response. Threepio is offended

"Well!!! Come on Artoo. Let's leave them to their childish games… You want to hear more about what??! ….Master Luke is _not_going near any strip bar. He's a good boy. Besides, he's not even 21 yet…..What phony I.D.? Artoo, I'm disappointed in you. How long have you been producing them??...Really? You've seen that? Oh, my! What's the world coming to?"

Artoo continues to enlighten Threepio with his knowledge of strip clubs around the galaxy. Threepio is shocked

"Goodness Gracious me!"

Next chapter… 'A Force To Force Chat With Dad'


	4. Chapter 4 A Force to Force Chat

_Chapter 4 _

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'_Good Help Is Hard To Find'_

'_A Force To Force Talk with Dad'_

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Back at the Space Station. Jar Jar is reporting for duty. General Piett is puzzled.

Jar Jar salutes, "Meesa, Intern Jar Jar Binks reporting for duty. Meesa help Imperial army."

Piett is staring down the Gungan, "Who sent you here???"

"Lord Vader for Emperor Palpatine. Yoosa should follow me now, okeeday?"

Piett looks at Jar Jar's papers which appear to be in order. He lets out a disappointed sigh. This assignment has got to be a clerical error.

"Fine. Have a seat at the controls but don't touch anything. I'm going to look into this."

As the general walks off, Jar Jar rests his elbows on the control panel and accidentally detonates a small explosive. Since it has not been directed to a target, it detonates in its storage capsule causing even more internal damage. Palpatine feels the tremor and is bolted from his armchair. He is plastered to the ceiling of his chambers entangles in his robes. Vader is holding onto one of the pillars.

Han listens in on the chaos and laughs, slapping his hand on the Falcon's console. Luke, who had just taken a drink spits it out as he laughs, spraying his beverage all over Chewie

"Ouch! It went up my nose! Sorry, Chewie."

Chewie laughs as he shakes his furry body splashing the liquid all over C3PO.

Suddenly, through the Force, Luke can hear his fathers' voice.

"Oh, Crap! _Yes, Father?_"

"_What are you doing?"_

"_Nothing!!!"_

"Don't Lie to me! You've learned much, young one. Hiding your thoughts is not one of them."

Luke forgets who he is talking to and gets a bit cocky for his own good. Vader can sense Luke is picking up Han's "wiseacre" attitude.

This is where Vader feels he has failed Luke as a father. Had he been around when Luke needed him most, there wouldn't be the need for Luke to look up to that scoundrel Han Solo as a big brother. His son was picking up bad habits and Vader didn't like this one bit. Vader was praying that Luke's behaviour was the result of some underage drinking…..better that than the unsavory influence of Captain Solo! Oh, God!!! What was he thinking??!! He was hoping for his son to be an alcoholic! How terrible. One alcoholic in his life was more than enough and that honor belonged to Vader's former mentor and friend Obi-Wan. He was also Luke's Godfather and Jedi trainer.

Young Skywalker was on a roll with the one-liners. Vader was going to give his son enough rope to force-choke himself.

"You'll find I'm full of surprises. What do you want, Dad.?"

"_You're playing on dangerous ground, son. Stop the high jinks immediately!"_

"But I didn't do anything!!!"

The guilt-ridden father was buckling under again. Vader tried to stay angry but the conversation was getting too bizarre. He backed off Luke for a moment.

"_You sure?"_

"Yeah!! We're just here chillin.' Geez!"

"_That's it? You're just hanging out with your friends??" _

Suddenly Vader became depressed. _Friends! Oh, Sith Lord! _The friends consisted of a disgraced wisecracking former officer, a Wookie and two droids._ 'Yes, Vader,'_ he thought to himself. _'This is all your fault!!!'_ _My son is Pinocchio and Solo is Lampwick, the bad kid who turns into a jackass! How apropos!!!_ He hears Luke answer his question.

"_Yeah! Cut me a little slack, Dad." _

Vader decides to humor Luke.

"_I feel you. Okay." _

"_I feel you too. Dad? Don't sense me with the force all the time, okay? I look like a whimp when I'm with my friends. Why don't you go out, meet some nice lady. You haven't dated since Mum died. You can't hold on to me and Leia forever."_

Vader takes issue with Luke's remark

"_Actually, I can. But I hear you." _

Luke grins, "Word up!"

"_What???"_

"Nothing. Bye"

"_Bye, Son"._

After the 'session' is over Han starts talking. Han has been watching Luke the entire time talking to someone he (Han) cannot hear.

"Luke, you know how creepy that is, don't you? It might be a good party trick but not when you're trying to get chicks."

"I know, but he refuses to us a cell phone."

Vader is Force-calling Luke again, _"Luke???"_

Luke speaks to Han.

"Hold on a sec"… Answering his father. _"Yes, dad? What is it now?"_

"_Han Solo is there, isn't he?"_

"Yes, dad"

"_I felt his presence"_

"Then why 'ask' me?!"

"_Don't sass me, boy"_

Luke sarcastically answers, _"Sorry, Daaad."_

"_Tell him I need to see him."_

"_Alright, I'll tell him"_ Luke mugs a face at Han and rolls his eyes.

"_I felt that!"_

"What did I do??!!"

"_You're hiding something. I can feel it. I find your lack of respect disturbing."_

"_Sorry, Dad."_ He sighs. _" Is that it???"_

"_Yes...Wait."_

"Now what????"

"_Is that pizza you're eating??"_

"No"

Luke scrambles to shove the pizza box under the console. Han grins then crams a large piece into his mouth. He opens his mouth to make Luke laugh. Chewie doesn't give a damn and continues to eat.

"_Don't lie to me!" _

"_OK." _ Luke looks over at Han and tries not to laugh but he's almost losing it.

"_Tell Solo I will see him in my office tomorrow"_

"_Yes, Father. Are we done?"_

Vader is frustrated, _"Yes. Goodbye"_

After the 'call' everyone is laughing out loud.

Luke takes another slice of pizza, "We are so busted."

"He's worse than Santa. He sees everything! He is such a tool!"

"Oh, He needs to see you in his office tomorrow."

Han is shocked then becomes outraged, "Why??? Because of the 'effing' pizza???!!

"No. Leia."

"Did he say that???"

Luke looks back at Han incredulously, "Dude, I have the Force, remember?"

Han bangs his head back against the headrest of the chair, "Awww, Man!! I was in her room one night!" He sighs. "I don't want to sit with him!! Can I bring Chewie with me??"

"No. You'd better go alone. He'll be cool. I promise."

"Your dad is Never '_cool_.' I'm not having so much fun right now. I feel terrible."

"I promise. He won't hurt you. He means well. There's good in him. I can feel it."

"Yeah, right…I have a bad feeling about this."

To be continued:_ 'Rich Gundarkian Leather'_


	5. Chapter 5 Rich Gundarkian Leather

_Chapter 5 _

'_Rich Gundarkian Leather'_

MORNING -

Han arrives at the space station corporate annex located adjacent to the Galactic Senate. He is escorted to Vader's executive office by four storm troopers. He is under heavy guard as he sits in the waiting area. An Imperial officer arrives to escort him inside. The storm troopers shove him into a chair facing Vader's desk. Han looks up at the guards.

"So, kill anyone lately?" The guards ignore him. Han continues his one-sided conversation. "I suppose not, your aim ain't that good. So, how's the dating scene on this Hell hole? That good, eh? Anybody know how long I'll have to wait? I have a few appointments later…"

Staff Officer walks over to Han, "Mr. Solo, You'd be well-advised to curb your humour. You won't find a captive audience here. I suggest, until you are spoken to, you keep your mouth shut."

Han salutes the officer with a sarcastic scowl, "Yes, your suck-up-ness"

The Staff Officer is not at all amused, "You are trying for an unpleasant visit, aren't you?"

"It became unpleasant when I received the lovely invitation from 'His Darkness' to appear here."

The officer glares back at Han with contempt "Don't make me blast you ---"

Just then Vader enters the office. He waves the officer and guards away.

"That will be all for now, Lieutenant. You and the guards may leave."

"As you wish, Lord Vader."

The men leave. Han props up his feet on the edge of Vader's desk and leans back in the chair resting his head against his palms. Vader stands there staring at Han through his mask. The room is silent except for the Vader's breathing. Han looks up at Vader. Vader taps on the desk. Vader places his other gloved hand on his light saber so Han can see it. Suddenly Han drops his feet to the floor.

Vader responds to the Solo's change in demeanor, "Thank you."

Han sits upright. He breaks into an ingratiating smile.

"Hello Mr. Vader, how are you today? This is a really nice office you have here. Is that your meditation chamber? I heard about it. Can I try it out?"

He starts to get up then sees this is not the time for levity. He sits back in his chair.

"Maybe later. I'll just stay over here. This chair is nice…looks expensive... gundark leather? You have good taste. I used to smuggle these for Jabba. He could have gotten you a good deal on one. What did you pay for this one? 3000 credits? I could have gotten it for you for 750" Han can't help himself so he starts to joke again, mostly because he is nervous. Vader fiddling with the light saber switch does not make his feel at home. "Do all dark lords get such nice corporate furniture?"

"This is not a laughing matter. Your flippant remarks are beginning to annoy me."

"Sorry."

"Mr. Solo, do you know why you're here?"

"Yes…Well… Not really….no." He runs his fingers along the arm of the chair.

"Permit me to enlighten you then. For some time you have been dating my daughter. Against my wishes I might add. I want to know what your intentions are, Mr. Solo."

"Oh, I have intentions…or are you asking if I plan to marry her?"

"Your insolence and wisecracks are wearing thin. Answer the question!" Vader bangs his fist on the desk.

"Alright, alright…take it easy….Let's say 'If' I say I plan to marry your daughter, could I call you 'Dad?'"

"NO."

" That's a relief.. So, why am I really here? I know it's not because you want to know if I 'intend' making quotes with his fingers to make an honest woman of your daughter. Besides, she knows what she wants. She's too smart for that."

"Actually, I want to discuss my son Luke."

"Yeah? Nice kid. You're very lucky. He really loves you, you know. You mess with his head a lot though. It's not right. What about him?" Han is actually sincere at this moment. Luke was too young to hang with Solo and his_ 'crowd'_ but he started to like the boy and they soon became friends.

"Don't lecture me on how to raise my son! Now, Mr. Solo, let's talk about MY son. He's trying to study for the bar exam and I want him to be focused. I don't want any distractions. That means no high jinks from you or any of his other rowdy friends."

Han is shocked. Luke has never discussed anything with Han other that the Jedi as his long-term career goal. Somehow this didn't sound right.

"The bar? Luke?" Suddenly Hand recalls a little discussion the previous day regarding Luke's _"appointment" _with Lando Calrissian. Han smiles. "Oh, the BAR!"

"Of course, the bar. What do you think I'm talking about? Why do you keep repeating yourself?"

Han is desperately trying to keep a straight face. _'What an idiot. Doesn't realize Luke has never even attended law school?' _Han responds in order to appease _'Lord Idiot'_

"The bar of course. Listen, I'm not one to stand in the way of Luke's future. I support him all the way. As a matter of fact, Mr. 'V', I'm going to see to it personally that little Luke gets in all the studying he can. You have my word."

"Well, that was easy. I appreciate your support. Luke looks up to you like a big brother. Personally I don't see any redeeming qualities in you that would make me want you as my son's champion. But if it will make him stay glued to the books, then I'm all for it."

"Books?" Under his breath '_So that's what he calls them_…' He grins then becomes _'sincere'_ as he faces Vader. "I will do my part, Sir. Whatever it takes! I won't stand in the way of his success."

"I'm relieved to hear you say that. It gives me hope that my daughter isn't associating with a self-serving, fortune-hunter after-all."

"That's not me, Sir. That was the old Han Solo. I am reborn. My "Indi" days are over. Your daughter deserves only the best."

"Great. Suddenly Vader cracks a sly smile. "Han, …..Do you play Corellian Handball?"

Han's curiosity is peaked, "I play a decent game…Why?"

Vader is almost buoyant as he speaks through his mask, "Let's hit the gym, shall we?"

Han's curiosity was peaked yet again, "You have a gym in this place?"

"Of course. Do you see any overweight storm troopers here? So, are you game?"

Han is hesitant. He remembers vividly his last "meeting" with Vader which involved getting a _"workout in carbonite."_

At this point he felt he was in another situation he couldn't get out of. He was waiting for the other boot to drop as he was trying to think in the back of his mind what else he could have done to piss this man off. He resigns himself to his fate. This would have been a good time to slip a note to a messenger to give to Leia. He takes a breath then looks across the desk at Vader. The dark Lord was no longer clicking the power switch on the light saber. He felt somewhat relieved.

"Sure."

Vader almost seems to be smiling through that mask. His voice is disturbingly cheery. "Great!"

_He presses a button on the neck of his Mask. A pocket of air escapes. Han is bracing himself. He heard stories about Vader and about the battle on Mustafar with Obi-Wan some 18 years earlier. He watches as Vader grabs the helmet and mask in both hands, much to Han's horror. Vader removes his mask. What the mask reveals shocks Han. Vader sets the mask and helmet on the desk then stands up. Han is about to wet his pants._

_To be continued… 'Excuse Me While I Whip This off'_


	6. Chapter6 Excuse Me While I Whip this off

_**Chapter 6 **_

'_Excuse Me While I Whip this Off'_

* * *

Han's legs are like jelly. For the first time that morning he was totally speechless. He wondered to himself what on '_Kessel' _was going on here.

Vader looks at Han and smiles. He then runs his hands through his scalp fluffing out a sweaty mop of shoulder length blond hair.

"Awww..that feels good! Whoo! What a relief. It's great to get out of this thing at the end of the day. What? Something on my face?"

He juts out his lower lip to blow a stray hair out of his face.

Han is still in stun-mode, "Uhm, " he gulps. "N-n-n-no. No."

Han manages to stand. He actually wants to leave right now. This is just too freaky for even Han who has seen some freaky _'sith' _in his adventureswhispers to himself. "What the voxyn------------?"

Vader removes his infamous black cape. He winks to Han, "Excuse me for a moment while I change." He walks behind a door.

Han nods in agreement, "Sure."

What Han sees is amazing. Vader without the mask reveals a 40ish rock-star Anakin Skywalker. He has barely aged 10 years since aligning with the Emperor. His face is almost flawless with the exception of the scar over his right eye.

He is nowhere near the ominous "monster" in the black suit and mask. Han was looking at an athlete. Anakin was fit enough to be one and he was still as agile as he was 18 years ago when Luke and Leia were born.

Vader returns from the dressing room dressed in black sport shorts and a T-shirt with the Empire's logo on the left breast pocket. On his feet he is wearing black sport shoes.

Vader tosses a clean towel and a new factory-wrapped set of Imperial sport shorts and shirt to Han. Han catches it but his eyes are still set on Vader. Vader takes a clean towel for himself.

"Let's go out this way, it's quicker." They leave from a rear door in Vader's office

As the two men walk down an empty corridor, Vader pats Han on the back. Vader's light saber is attached to a clip belt and swings on his hip. Han glances back and forth between the light saber and Vader.

"Are we playing a grudge-match against someone?"

"What? Oh! Heheheh. I'm always prepared. Don't worry. I won't use it on you today."

"Oh. Thanks."

"Han, why are you staring at me?"

"I just expected you to look different."

"From what?"

"Nothing. You look great."

"Thanks! I try to keep in shape. It's tough when you have a desk job."

This is not what Han meant at all. He had some serious questions to ask Luke's' wacko father.

They enter the Hardball arena. They put on goggles. Han serves the first volley. Han's concentration is not on the game. Vader is defeating him 5-3. Suddenly Han realizes he is losing. He picks up speed. The game becomes competitive.

Vader/Anakin is darting effortlessly around the court hitting the ball at what looks like warp speed. He is smiling as he racks up points against Han. His gloved right arm seems to have given him an uneven advantage over Han. Han would have had a tough time against any Jedi, even young Luke.

"Getting tired, Solo?"

"No way, old man. You think you can beat me? I was varsity champ in high school."

"You're on, wise guy! Show me your best game because you're playing like a girl right now."

"Oh, so I play like a girl? I see you're talking a lot of smack old man. I bet I can whip your ass."

"Oh, really? A wager? "

"Really! 1600 Credits. Your serve.

Vader serves. Han intercepts. Vader calls a 'foul.'

"Foul ball!"

Han protests, "That was a good intercept."

"That's my two points, Solo!

"No it's not!

"The ball was in!" Vader is staring down Han. Han rolls his eyes.

"Oh, it's gonna be like that, eh? I knew you couldn't play a fair game, Vader."

"What did you say? Are you accusing me of cheating?"

"Your words, not mine!"

" Why you… " He is seething. If only he could get one good Force-choke in, he would be happy.

"You want to have it out now? Bring it on. Or are you going to run and get that outfit to try to scare me again? You're not so big and bad now, 'Black Darth.'"

Annoyed by Han's cheap shot remark. He turns away with a scowl. "Fine. Your serve."

The dark lord mutters to himself, '_Please Dark Lord Plagueis, let me kick his arrogant ass.'_

The score keeping Referee Droid announces the score, "Tie: 5:5"

The game continues. Han sweeps ahead of Vader 5:7. Vader's blood is pumping with anger. He remembers what Yoda has taught him about this but not before using the Force to slam the ball into the stone wall causing a deep dent and a spray of dust is falling to the floor of the room.

He shrugs then tosses the returning ball to Han. Han serves. They volley the ball back and forth until Han ducks as one of Vader's serves cruises towards him like a missile. Vader grins.

Because of Han's reaction, he misses two shots. This gives Vader the final three points of the game.

The score keeping Referee Droid announces the score, Game Vader: 8:7

Vader helps Han to his feet. Han is relieved the ball didn't make a hole through his chest but he is angry that Vader played dirty. Vader smiles his most angelic smile and extends his gloved hand to Han to shake. Han shakes his hand then wipes his brow.

Vader slaps Han on the back, "Great game! We must play again sometime. Perhaps a game of doubles to help you out? I can rustle up two more players. Obi-Wan likes to an occasional game. He's not a bad player either."

"Nooo. I was stupid enough to play you. I'm not crazy enough to play you and a Jedi."

"You have nothing to worry about. Obi-Wan refuses to come up here. He prefers to play in the public arenas."

"Too dangerous?"

"Too corporate. He has a few issues with the emperor. You're a good sport, Solo. Just to show you there are no hard feelings, I am refusing my winnings. Let's hit the showers."

Vader changes into a tunic and sweatpants. He reminds Han of a hippie at one of the communes on Endor After they are dressed, Vader reminds Han about their deal.

"Don't forget to look out for Luke."

"I promise."

"I still don't get what my daughter sees in you. "

"Well, she finds me quite appealing"

"You be good to her."

" I will. You have my word. I will follow her anywhere."

"Good... Then I will expect to see you at the Governors Ball next week."

This isn't exactly what Han met nor was it what he was expecting to hear. He is shocked but pretends to like the idea of mingling with a bunch of politicians and officers.

"Of course. I wouldn't miss it!"

"You had better not. Well, Mr. Solo, let me walk you to your ship. Vader remembers something and grabs Han's shoulder with his gloved hand "Oh, one more thing. Don't discuss the _'helmet thing'_ with anyone, especially my kids."

"Why? Don't you owe it to them? Luke thinks…"

Vader interrupts, "Exactly. You wait till you have kids and try to keep them in line. This is leverage for me."

"You like scaring the crap out of your kids? Luke trusts you."

"And I'd like to keep it that way. Solo, this was a good day for me. Don't go spoiling it by making me choke you."

"Mr. V, I just want to make sure that Luke will pass the "bar." It means so much to you. It will make up for all the lies you told the boy all these years. After today, I will do everything in my power to see that he gets a first-rate "education. He's going to work long and hard at the bar."

Vader smiles and realizes Solo is truly dedicated to Luke's long-term career goals.

Han smiles back at Vader thinking, 'This SOB is as much of a 'Bantha Fodder' artist as he was. And no 40 year old 'surfer boy' Dark Lord beats Han Solo at Corellian Handball! Ever! Payback time is going to be a bitch!'

_To be continued… 'Happy as a Baby Boga'_


	7. Chapter 7 Happy As A Baby Boga

_Chapter 7 _

'_Happy as a Baby Boga'_

Han boards the Millennium Falcon and leaves the space station. He lands on Bespin and heads for an old hang out on Cloud City. Luke is there with some friends. Girls from all over the galaxy are there. One is sitting with Biggs. Lando Calrissian has just introduced a bevy of girls to Luke. They are seated around Luke telling him how cute he is. He blushes.

Han grabs Luke by the arm and pulls him away.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

The girls start protesting. Han starts yelling at the girls.

"Back off! Give the boy some air!"

Lando sees Han.

"Han ol' buddy! How are you?"

"I've been better. Listen, I'm going to borrow our little friend here for a moment."

"But he just got here! I got a bunch of my best girls lined up to take care of him."

"This won't take long. Junior can hold onto his Jedi jewels for a bit longer." Aside to Luke "Boy, have I got a surprise for you!"

"Hello, Han!" Luke is a bit giddy. He has never had a bunch of girls so interested in him in his young life.

"Hello, Luke. Guess where I've been all this time?"

"I give up. Where?"

"Remember, I had that little 'sit down' with your dad! Guess what?"

"What?"

Girls are handing pera shots to Luke.

"He thinks you're studying for the bar."

"The what? We're at the ba----OOOOOOHH….CRAAAAAP!" He laughs.

"Yeah! And if and when he finds out your bar exam involves a pole, pasties and cheap drinks, we're all in it deep! I hope you can "dance" around this one 'cause he's gonna kill us! …For real this time!"

"But I never lied to him."

"It doesn't matter what you didn't lie about, it's what he thinks! Luke, you know as well as I that your dad is one sabbacc card short of a deck"

Luke whines as he looks back at the couch in the corner where all the girls are waiting.

"Han, can we discuss this later? Lando's trying to hook me up with that hot Twi'lek chick…and I've got _'Bunny Hutt'_ money! I could get at least 8 lap dances……"

Han interrupts him.

"Kid, you're out of her league! You'll never survive."

He summons Lando over.

"Lando, can't you start him out with baby steps? These girls are going to kill him. And what's he drinking?" He takes Luke's glass and sniffs it, "Lando! Not the Hoth45 malt liquor! This will definitely kill the kid! Baby steps, Pal! Baby steps!"

Lando laughs and looks at Luke,"Luke, are you alright?"

Luke nods _'NO' _then _'YES'_.

Han rolls his eyes. Luke has no idea how he feels.

.Lando smiles and pats Luke on the back, See? The boy's ready. Give the kid some credit."

Luke suddenly blurts out to the guys.

"Yeah, I'm ready! Biggs, tell him I'm ready!"

Biggs yells over from the sofa. He's got three girls with him on the sofa, two on his lap and one dancing in front of him, "You're on your own, kid! Go dust some crops!"

Han is thinking that Leia will never forgive him for allowing Luke to do this.

Lando tries to calm Han, "Leave the boy to me. I'll make sure he has a good time with these fine ladies. See? They love him already. Look at him. Have you ever seen a happier face?" Lando pats Luke on the face. "He's as happy as a baby Boga!

"That's the problem, he IS a baby. He's not even 21 yet. Plus, he's got a fake I.D.. Boba Fett's vice squad is going to revoke your license if they card him."

Lando is still trying to calm Han.

"Han, buddy, you worry too much. I've never seen you so worried about something as harmless as this. Relax. Trust me. I'll send him home good as new. If it makes you feel better, stay and hang out with us."

"Frankly, Lando, I don't know if I want to be a witness to this. If I stay, Leia will detect the stench and kill me or she'll tell her father and he'll kill me. Or they will make it a family affair and kill me together. I should just walk out now while I can."

"Fine. Come back in a few hours. You see a boy now but when you return, Luke's going to be a man!"

"You see, I kinda like the whiny little farm brat. He grew on me. Take care of my little drunken Jedi."

Lando reassures him Luke will be fine, "Come back in a few hours."

Han slowly walks away. "I've got a bad feeling about this."

_To be continued… 'Wampas Are Dancing on My Head'_


	8. Chapter 8 Wampas Are Dancing On My Head

_Chapter 8 _

' _Wampas are Dancing on My Head'_

A few hours later Han returns to 'The Bunny Hutt' to retrieve Luke. He is shocked by what he finds. Luke's face and neck is covered with lipstick smudges. Luke is smiling blissfully. Han is horrified.

"Oh no. What have they done to you?"

"He's fine. He had a good time. Look at that face!. Luke, you're the man!" Lando looks over at Luke Like a proud father.

Han is almost horrified.

"He looks traumatized! Luke, what happened?"

Luke looks straight through Han as Han slowly waves a hand across his face. "Bahbahababa—"

Han points to the boy and shouts in protest, "Lando, this is Not fine!"

"The girls went a little wild but, I promise, after a good night's sleep, he'll be good as new."

Gee, thanks a lot! By the way, I'll need a "real" bar exam for his father to see before we get caught."

"Alright. I'll talk to some people in the senate. I helped out a few who owe me some favors after they were caught in a compromising situation back on Balmorra. I'll let you know. I should have a document for his daddy by the time the next round of exams is given."

Han lets out a heavy sigh. He looks back at Lando

"Thanks. Come on, Luke. I'm taking you home."

Han flips Luke over his shoulder. The two board the Falcon. Chewie greets them and mans the controls while Han forces jawa juice into Luke. Luke falls asleep in a fetal position muttering the name of one of the strippers he met that night.

Next day in the late afternoon Luke has a hangover big enough to knock out a wampa. Han sits across from him. Luke squints then grabs the ice pack Han gives to him.

"You tied one on last night"

"Oww. Oh, hi."

"Hi, "stud"

"Did I have fun last night?"

"A blast. You don't need to do this again for a few years."

"It doesn't feel like it. So, how was the meeting with Dad?"

"Oh, you remember that. Well, let's see… Interesting and shocking are the words that come to mind."

"See, my dad's not a bad guy."

"Oh, he's a real saint. Luke, You ever play Corellian hand ball?"

"No, why?"

"Just curious. Your father is great at it. He really enjoys the game. You should learn to play. I'll even teach you. Then you can play your ol' man."

"But he has breathing problems. I couldn't."

"I think he would like the competition."

"Where are we headed?"

"Oh, I'm dropping you off on Coruscant. You're going home."

"Does Leia know where we went?"

"Let's correct that right now. "We" didn't go anywhere. "YOU went to a strip club. I will sand up for you on anything else but not this. The only thing scarier than your father is your sister Leia. I am not ready to get into it with her today. I'm dropping you off at the door then I'm flying off to….."

Luke tries to sit up pointing an accusing finger at Han.

"You're going to Tatooine! You promised to take me with you next time you were heading that way."

"You know, Luke, I wish you wouldn't read my mind like that. It creeps me out. Anyway, you're in no condition to travel. You can borrow one of your Dad's ships."

Luke nods his head 'NO." "Han, I'm grounded for two weeks. You know that. I can't even have my air speeder to cruise around Coruscant."

His rant is interrupted by a wrenching pain in Luke's head.

"Ouch. Oh, man. My teeth feel as if they're moving in my head. Like wampas marching in the desert."

Luke holds his head as if it's about to fall off. He moans. Han looks at this pitiful sight across from him.

"Well, it just proves you need to keep your little Jedi butt at home in bed."

"My teeth."

"Stop talking before I solve the problem for you myself. I don't need you whining all the way to Coruscant. I've got enough on my mind. I don't need 'Her Royal Pissed-offness' yelling at me."

Han mimics a yelling angry Leia as he imagines himself explaining Luke's condition. Han is whimpering quietly in the lounge area of the ship, "My teeth."

Han rubs his head as he ponders an excuse or an easy way to drop off Luke without having to deal with Leia.

_To be continued….. 'Door to Door Delivery: One Baby Boga'_


	9. Chapter 9 Let Me Tell You About My Day

_Chapter 9 _

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Let Me Tell You About My Day'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Han carries Luke over his shoulder to the Skywalker condo. He whistles nervously waiting for one of the droids to answer the door. He had asked Chewie to accompany him but "The Coward", as Han called him refused to leave the ship. The Wookie was just as afraid of a Leia confrontation as Han was. In Chewbacca's mind, if he had nothing to do with the escapades the night before, then he needn't be there for the fireworks. Han was feeling very much alone right now.

After a few attempts to leave Luke alone at the door failed, he decided to face the inevitable; a major tongue-lashing from his object of desire.

Luke finally uttered his first words since boarding the Falcon. Words that Han definitely did not want to hear from someone he was carrying over his shoulder.

"I think I'm going to be sick."

Suddenly Han was screaming at the top of his lungs as he began banging on the door with his fist.

"Somebody open the damn door?!!!! Now would be nice!" He makes the next directive to Luke, "If you hurl on me, I swear, I'll grab your light saber and slice you up myself." Han takes his blaster off his belt when the door opens. It is Leia.

"You were going to shoot my door down with a blaster????!!!! Are you insane??!!"

"Listen, Miss 'Thing!' Don't you dare start with me" He points to his head then down at Luke "I've had it up to _HERE_ with Skywalkers, schizophrenic, psychotic fathers and your little drunken baby Boga here!"

"What's he doing drunk???? You!!! I knew it! Han! You had to get him drunk!"

"Shut up, woman, shut up!!!! Take, 'Sparky' to the refresher before he hurls on your precious carpet.

Leia is furious. "Don't you go anywhere. I'm not through with you yet."

Leia sneers at Han then helps Luke to the refresher, just in time because he empties a nights' worth of drinking including the dinner Lando treated him to at one of the most upscale restaurants on Cloud City. Leia tend to Luke until she is sure he can manage alone. She emerges from the refresher, and walks in Han's direction. He looks at the door but the window started to look good to him at the moment too. He was desperate. C3PO and R2D2 are poking their heads out from the reception room. Leia places her hands in her hips. Han is waiting for her head to rotate 180 degrees.

"Ok, Solo, explain yourself."

"Listen, none of this is my fault."

"So where were you when my brother was getting inebriated?"

"I was working. I came to pick him up from Lando's club and he was drunk."

"Why am I not surprised?? Two scoundrels conspiring to corrupt my brother."

"Nobody was conspiring to do anything to your brother. He did this to himself"

"So what's this?" She opens her hand and shows him a fluorescent pink pasty. Han takes a closer look.

"What's that?? Oh…OHH. Hmmm. Interesting. Where did you find that?"

"It fell out of his jacket. What were you two doing at a strip club??" She throws it at him. Han leaps out of the way as if she were throwing a spider droid in his direction. The _'souvenir'_ lands on the floor.

"Hey! I did not patronize the place. Luke was going so I dropped him off. That's what friends do."

"He's 18 for Jedi 's sake, Han!" Why weren't you there supervising him or something??"

"For the very reason you just accused me of. Listen, Luke wanted to go. Apparently he had a good time. I saw he was in no condition to get here on his own so I gave him a lift."

"Han, did you see him??"

"Yes, I saw him. And I saw him last night. I have never seen him so happy. He may be young and naive but the boy is no angel. So how was your day, Leia? I bet your day was just delightful. Guess what happened to me yesterday? I had a special meeting with your father". His tone turns sarcastic "He's such and interesting guy. Full of surprises too!"

"What are you talking about, Han?"

"Why don't you ask him yourself, Princess? I like my neck. I think I'll keep it. I'm going to go now. I've had enough of you crazy people for two days!"

"Han!"

"Goodbye" He backs away until he finds the door then leaves.

Meanwhile Luke is still in the refresher hurling. He calls out to Leia. She stands in the doorway as he is blowing chunks. She folds her arms across her chest.

"So, you feel horrible, eh?"

"Awful."

"Headache?"

"Uh-hum."

"Good." Have a good night." She leaves and force-slams the door.

"Leia!!" Leia!!"

She force talks back to him as she heads to her room. "Oh be quiet!"

C3PO approaches the refresher door and hears Luke moaning. The droid pops open the door to find Luke on his back reaching out his hand like E.T. Leia calls Threepio.

"Threepio, if you so much as lift one hand to help him I swear I'll toss you into the trash compactor. That goes for you too, Artoo."

C3PO looks down at Luke, "I'm so sorry, Master Luke. I truly hope you're feeling better by morning."

Luke sees Artoo. He lifts his head. "Artoo …."

Leia sends out a second warning, 'Artoo, don't you dare. Leave him."

Artoo chirps something to C3PO,_ "He's going to feel like crap tomorrow."_

The protocol droid walks away with Artoo, "This family is falling apart. Oh, Dear. I feel so helpless"

Meanwhile Leia Force calls her father but he doesn't answer. She resorts to using the more conventional comm. Link. The secretary answers.

Leia starts speaking, "Gladys, I want to speak to my father."

Gladys sounds nervous. "Hold on please." After a few moments she picks up Leia's line, "Princess Leia, he can't come to the phone right now."

"Did he threaten to Force-choke you? I'm not as skilled as my father or brother, Gladys, but I'll tell you this, I can still put a hurting on you if you don't put me through. Where is he? You tell that coward father of mine to get on the phone now or I will embarrass his ass!

Suddenly there is a click and she hears that familiar breathing, "Hello, Sweet pea, you're calling late. What's going on?"

"I think you know, Daddy. Don't play innocent with me. What did you say to Han? I know you threatened him."

Vader hesitates, "….uhmmm you know what, honey, and I really must go. The Emperor just called a late night meeting… mind if we pick this up tomorrow?"

"Tell that old man to wait. No one wants to hear what he has to say. Daddy, tell me what's going on."

"Uhmm…..Nothing. You know what…I really have to …."

"Daddy, Daddy….don't you disconnect me! Dad-", That Son of a Sith hung up on me!" She force speaks to him, "I know you hear me Daddy, I will find you; and when I do, I'm going to make your life miserable.

The Sith Lord did something he would soon regret. His daughter would soon get even with him. He should be afraid…and he was.

Next Chapter: _'If You Pursue Him, He Will Run'_


	10. Chapter 10 Career Changes & Things to Do

_Chapter 10 _

'_Career Changes, Employee Turnover and 'Things To Do'_

'_If You Pursue Him, He will Run'_

Could you imagine doing an exit interview with Vader? One day, a longtime employee submits his resignation. Vader is a busy man as one can see in this sample of his daily schedule.

Morning at the office** – **

Vader checks his data pad for appointments.

**To Do: **

Breakfast meeting with Representative of Yuuzhan Vong to discuss amnesty for prisoners of war – "Z"

Touch-base meeting with Emperor. Listen to him complain about my kids again "Z"

Leia – Walk in meeting…………….**Important………………**Postpone (ALAP) **DFALAP**

Exit Interview - Admiral ………………………………………………………………………………

Leia – Walk in meeting …………….**2ND Request**……………Postpone (ALAP) **DFALAP**

Give speech to Future SITH Lords of the Hydian Way………………………………… **Done**

LUNCH

PERSONAL TIME……………… …**Martial Arts instruction**……………………………………..

Leia – Walk in meeting…………… **Urgent!!!**...Postpone (ALAP) **DFALAP**

Meeting With Emperor – **CANCEL** (I'm totally booked. Tell Gladys to cover my ass on this one)

VIDEO GAME TIME …………… '**Grand Theft Hover Craft'**…………………….**unlimited**

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**CODE KEYS:** **C:** Cancel;Choke **Z**: Zone Out for 15 min. **ALAP**: Put off for as long as possible

**DO**:Duck out of meeting

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"Admiral, Come it, please, sit. So, you said you wanted to meet with me?"

"Well, I just wanted preface this by saying, it's been a real honour to serve under your command, Sir. I have never been so impressed by you leadership... especially one as young as yourself."

"I sense that you are making a decision that may not be wise."

"I just think it's time for a career change. "

"A career change? "

Vader listens to ipod hidden under helmet. He turns up the volume

"Well, I do have an engineering degree that I haven't used. I'm going into business with an old classmate. He designed a new line of All Terrain Armored Transport vehicles. I'm really excited about it. I just wanted to submit my two week notice".

"I see. Admiral, I am displeased that you feel stifled here. Is it money? I did compensate you with a handsome salary increase after the battle on Yavin. Did you not appreciate the gift basket I gave you with your Holiday bonus?"

"Oh, you were more than generous, Lord Vader. I just feel it's time to move on."

"Oh. I see. Well! I would never want to stand in the way of your career goals. I guess that's it then. It's been a pleasure having you on my team. Let me congratulate you".

He force chokes the officer who collapses to the floor. Vader presses the intercom button

"Gladys, get that new intern working in the pit for me. Send him to my office...uh...but first, have housekeeping come in to clean up around my desk. I dropped something."

Vader looks at his data pad again." Leia wants to see me… Oh, Geez……I can't deal with this sith today. Man!"

_To be continued… _

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_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this heart wrenching story of rebirth and forgiveness.**_

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	11. Chapter 11 Gladys, Tell Her I'm Out

_Chapter 11 _

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Incompetence & Circumstances "Gladys, Tell Her I'm Out'_

Leia heads for Vader's office. She is furious with him and he has been avoiding her calls. Vader is more afraid of Leia than he is of the Emperor.

Gladys sees her approaching the corridor to the office. Gladys panics as she tries to interrupt Vader on one of his long distance video conference calls to Ziost for some trade talks. Just as Gladys is about to press the button, Leia's hand lands on it. She stares Gladys in the eye.

"Gladys, trust me, I'll break your fingers if you warn my father I'm here. I've been trying to see him all morning. He's not going to duck out on me now. Go take a break. Now."

Gladys gets up and leaves her desk. Leia takes her place. She bides her time. Suddenly, during Vader's videoconference he senses Leia's presence. He mutes the conference then clicks on the COM link.

"Gladys, Is she there?"

Leia swings slowly in the secretary's chair.. She doesn't answer although she is tempted to. She is tempted to pick up the com and give her father a piece of her mind. He has been behaving like a coward all morning avoiding her. Suddenly luck was on her side. Vader, not being the most patient man came out to see what Gladys was up to. There, in all his Sith glory was her father. Vader stood there like a deer in headlights. He was trapped. He had to face her now.

Vader lets out a sigh then pretends he was waiting for her.

"Leia, Sweet pea, I was just coming out to find you. I'm in the middle of a video conference but I will be done in a few minutes."

"Oh, no you don't! You're going to see me now! Get in the office!" She shoves her father in the office. She looks at the videoconference screen. The attendees bow and greet her.

"Yean, nice seeing you too, we can't talk now, bye!" She switches off the link. Vader yells at her.

"Why did you do that???? I was in the middle of a meeting"

"Daddy, what's more important to you, your job or your children? Please, enlighten me because Luke and I are confused. Come on! It's not a trick question, Daddy!" She whacks him on the helmet with the handle of his light saber. The helmet sends vibrations around his head.

"Well, you and your brother are of course! Ouch! What was that for??

"Stop that! What is your problem????"

"Tell me where Luke went the other night!"

"Is this a trick question?"

"I thought the Force was with you, old man! How come you don't know where your little boy was for the past day and a half?"

"I don't know! Okay??? Happy now??? Are you going to tell me?"

"I suppose I'll have to, genius. He was at a strip club on Bespin. He came home the next morning and blew chunks all over the floor. Your precious baby boy was drinking and getting lap dances."

Vader is quiet for a moment.

"He did what? You tell him I want to see him immediately. Is there anything else?"

"I didn't appreciate what you did to Han the other day. It was cruel. When are you going to grow up, Daddy?"

"What did I do?"

"A little incident involving a handball game, blackmail and deceit….shall I go on?"

"No. I know what you're talking about. I hope you don't expect me to apologize."

"It would be nice but I know it's not in you."

"Anything else, your Highness?"

"No because I've had enough from you for one day. I'm leaving. Oh, there is something…" She whacks him in the head again with the light saber handle. "Enough with the helmet, ok? It looks ridiculous."

"Ouch!!! If I knew you weren't going to assault me I would!"

Admiral Piett enters Vader's office. Gladys has returned to her desk.

"Excuse me Lord Vader. Princess."

"Admiral "

Vader shifts his attention to the officer. "What is it, Admiral?"

"We're having an issue with the new intern, Sir."

"Which one is that, Admiral?"

"Intern Binks, Sir. He pulled the remote switch and caused a meltdown in the reactor."

"So, what do you want me to do about it?"

"We were wondering if we could reassign him since he has no experience in the operations in the pit, Sir. We can't send him back but perhaps he could work in a less sensitive area…"

"I'll handle it."

"Thank you, sir." Admiral Piett leaves.

Leia looks at her father then giggles.

"Now what?"

"Daddy, what's Jar Jar doing in the Pit with the officers? Are you short-staffed?"

"Very funny. Actually, I have no idea. I'll have to investigate."

"Goodbye, Daddy. What's burning?" She looks up at the vents then back at her father. He stares back at her through his mask.

"Nothing. Goodbye, Leia." He whispers to himself "Thank the '_Sith'_ she's gone.

She force speaks back to him, "I heard that! I'm getting better."

Leia leaves. Vader Force calls Luke. He removes the helmet. "Luke"

"Yes, Dad?"

" Hello, son. You sound terrible. You still sick?"

"Upset stomach."

"Did you tell Obi-Wan that you won't be training today?"

"Yes."

"Good boy. Luke, we need to have a chat about where you went the other night."

"Awww, Dad…." Can't we do this later? I don't feel good."

"Alright... I'll see you tomorrow."

Vader looks on his desk for something. He yells for Gladys. "Gladys!!!"

Gladys walks in. Yes, Lord Vader?"

"Oh, there you are. Where the heck have you been?

Gladys points but then it is useless to explain. "What can I get you Lord Vader?"

"I have the munchies real bad. Can you get me a big ass Endor Moon pie?"

"I'll check with the commissary, Lord Vader."

"Cool" Thanks, Gladys; I don't know what I would do without you."

"Yes, Sir."

"And, Gladys, lock my door. I'm not seeing anymore appointments today. Just bring in my moon pie."

Meanwhile…back in the Emperor's suite, Palpatine receives his Sith MasterCard Statement. There is a big problem with it. Something to do with a pizza order…

_To be continued… _

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_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this heart wrenching story of rebirth and forgiveness.**_

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	12. Chapter 12 Revenge and the SITH

_Chapter 12 _

* * *

"_Revenge and the Sith: Ain't it a Bitch?"_

* * *

**Meanwhile in the emperor's suite, **Palpatine is on the COM link with the credit card company.

'_Please enter you sixteen digit Sith MasterCard account number.'_

The Emperor enters: 1666036626686613

'_Expiration date:14/212'_

_Last 4 digits of your Imperial Social I.D number: 0666_

_Thank you._

_Please choose from the following options:_

_To close account press 3_

_To report card lost or stolen press 4_

_To report unauthorized charges press 1295675_

The Emperor has to re-enter this number three times before he gets it correct. He has had a bad day all around. First the reactor fiasco involving Jar Jar, His chair is missing a caster so it does not rotate properly and drags, he is still disappointed that Luke Skywalker has been replaced as his intern. To make matters worse, his barber quit to work in the entertainment industry. And now he receives his credit card statement with some strange charges on it. Today it sucked to be the Emperor.

The representative is on the line after Palpatine has been waiting for 20 minutes on hold. He couldn't believe, 18 years ago he bought tickets for that sucky performance...

"This is Maxine, with Sith MasterCard. How may I help you?"

"Yes, Maxine, This is the emperor calling"

"The emperor who? Sir, I don't care who you are. You're just a number to me"

He grumbles to himself. How dare they not know who he is!

He is on the phone with the credit card company

"But, miss, I did not order this"

"Are we still discussing the Dagobah Papal John Charges?

"Yes, of course!"

"But, Mr. Palpatine, we have you on voice recognition placing the order. These are valid charges, Sir. Is there anything else we can do for you today, Sir?"

"No. Never mind. This is an outrage!"

"Well, you're not all-powerful, Sir".

"Well, I should be!!!"

"Have a good day, Sir and thank you for using your Sith MasterCard!

**A frustrated Palpatine realizes he is **_**Not**_** all-powerful…The credit card companies are!!!**

ACCOUNT: 1666036626686613 NAME: D. Palapatine, D.S.

**Item……………..............………Vendor……………………............……..Date………….........…..………Amount**

Dry Cleaning…………….. .Star Wash Cleaners……………..Short Time Ago But Far, Far Away……...…. 60.00

Catering ………. Dagobah & Papal John's Pizza Galaxy.…...Long Ago and Far, Far Away………..…....1700.00

Memberships……Annual Control the Universe Union Dues….…Forever and Away…………….……......250.00

Insurance……….Sith Death & Afterlife Annual Premium ……..….… Far-gone……………….…………..575.00

Club ……………Sith Plagueis Golf & Country Club ………….……..Foregone………………………….1000.00

Bal Due 3585.00 Credits

Evening:

Luke is asleep. Suddenly his bedroom door opens. Someone tiptoes inside and sits on the spare bed watching him. Luke lifts his head and looks across the dark room.

"Oh, Hi, Dad."

"Hey, Kiddo. Feeling better?"

"I guess."

"Mind if I switch on the light?"

"No. Go ahead. I'm alright."

A shadow on the wall waves the lamp on. Luke lies on his side facing his father who is sitting on the bed across from his. Anakin is dressed in his normal clothing but he isn't wearing shoes. He is forbidden from wearing shoes in the house because of the light carpeting. Besides, he doesn't want to get yelled at by Leia. The two exchange smiles. His father looks at him then waits. He sees a framed holograph of Padmé on the night table. He takes it and kisses it. He speaks to it.

"Sorry, Honey, guy talk."He sets the image face down on his chest. "So, tell me about your first lap dance, you underage perv."

Luke blushes. They laugh quietly.

"Am I grounded?"

"I don't know yet. It depends upon what I hear in the next hour. And by the way, all strip bars and the drinking is off limits for you, young Skywalker.

"That sounds like I'm grounded, Dad."

"Semantics" The older Skywalker waves his hand in the air.

The chat goes on for over an hour. Luke describes everything from the room to the women. Anakin listens to his son. At the end, Anakin smiles over at Luke.

"So, did you have a good time before your first hangover?"

"Oh, sure."

"Remind me to send Lando and Han a thank you note. Well, I guess I heard more than I needed to hear. Let's get some sleep, '_Casanova,' _shall we?"

"I could use a few good hours."

"Especially since you're going to make up for the training you lost because of your poor judgment. You owe Obi-Wan an apology."

"I'll apologize. I promise. Thanks, Dad." The light goes out.

"You're welcome, Luke." Anakin is still holding Padmé's holograph against his chest.

Luke curls up under the blanket.

"I love you."

"I love you too, son. You're still grounded."

"I know."

**Morning** –

Anakin is back at his office. He is holding a copy of Palpatine's Sith MasterCard Statement.

Anakin 'Force-calls' his son…loudly, "Luke!!!!!!!"

Luke and Obi-Wan are in the middle of the Jedi training session.

"Oh, Sith!!!"

Obi-Wan shakes his head in amazement, "You've been very busy this past week, young Skywalker."

"I know. I am so busted"

_To be continued: Next chapter 'We Must Stop Meeting Like This'  
_


	13. Chapter 13 We Must Stop Meeting Like Thi

_Chapter 13 _

'_We Must Stop Meeting Like This'_

_Afternoon –_

Luke has finished training with Obi-Wan for the day. Now it's time to face the 'maker'. He knew when his father was angry because he sensed a great disturbance in the force. Leia likened this to being followed by a dark rain cloud. You knew you were in a sith-load of trouble when this happened. Leia only had two experiences with the "rain cloud," once when she used R2 to smuggle tickets to a rock concert on Naboo.

The other 'dark cloud' was when she started student protest in the senate when she was 15 years old. It took months before her father could forgive the embarrassment she caused him. The emperor wanted her put in prison. Vader's silence was worse than any prison sentence she could have gotten.

What cut Vader so deeply was that Leia used her mother's seat in the senate to do this. She apologized but the damage was already done. It was an affront to Padmé's memory. Leia's adolescent and early teen years were fraught with rebellion and anger. She thought her father loved Padmé more that his children.

Leia made it her personal crusade to anything she could to make his life miserable. It was only after three months of unbearable silence that the two reconciled. Vader had to admit to her that his indifference to Leia and her brother when they were younger was not because he didn't love them, it was because he felt he wasn't worthy of their love.

Luke thought this would be as good a time as any to bring in reinforcements. He knew he had to confront his father but he wasn't going alone. He needed a 'shield' in case things got bad…'light saber bad'

"Come on, C3PO. We're going to be late."

"But Master Luke, don't you want to think this through first?"

"Threepio, trust me. I know what I'm doing." The droid is carrying a bouquet of flowers.

"Trust you? Master, Luke, you're already grounded. You have no means of transportation for at least a month, and you're not allowed to visit your friends. It's Jedi training then back home for you, young man. You're your own walking detention."

"I know, but how do I look?"

"You look very smart, Master Luke. When do you want me to give you the flowers?"

"Later, Threepio"

Luke is wearing his dress black jumpsuit with the high collar. He even used the money his father gave him to get a haircut.

C3PO follows Luke down the corridor. Suddenly Luke tries to speed up as he passes the Emperor's Suite of offices. He winces as the ominous voice calls from behind the door.

"Young Luke Skywalker, come in."

Luke closes his eyes and whispers to himself the way he did when he had dreams of monsters under his bed or in his closet:

'_It's not real, it's not real. It's only a dream. It doesn't exit.'_

He backpedals and pokes his head in the door and smiles. He exudes politeness

"Hello, Your Excellency, how are you?"

C3PO pokes his head in directly above Luke's. Luke gently but firmly shoves the droid away. He knew C3PO only too well. They would never get out of there once C3PO starts rambling on about the history of the Imperial Galactic Empire.

"Going to pay your father a visit?" The Emperor smiles brightly at Luke. Luke is starting to regret all the scandalous sith he's done. The emperor's smiling is frightening him right now.

"Yes, sir, I'm on my way. Actually, I'm, running a little late. You know how impatient my dad gets when he's kept waiting…so I'll just go...now…---"

"Nonsense, I'll tell him you're with me. He won't mind a few minutes. Come in, Luke. Please.."

"You're a busy man. I couldn't…. _('Oh, sith')_"

"Luke, I haven't seen you in awhile. Come. Have a seat, son."

The emperor taps on his desk and points to a chair facing the emperor. Luke turns his head towards the hallway to check for C3PO. He then looks back through the doorway at the emperor. He points behind him.

"I would love to sit but I have…"

"Yes, your protocol droid... He'll be fine. Let's talk."

Suddenly the two red cloaked bodyguards usher Luke inside and leave. The door seals closed behind Luke. His thoughts at the moment: 'Hate for the Empire leads to practical jokes. Joking leads to pain, pain leads to…… _'Kill me now'_

The emperor extends his hand gesturing for Luke to be seated. This would have been a good time for Luke to confess his sins. Perhaps if he went toYoda to cleanse his soul. Is there a prayer to absolve you of the sin of playing a practical joke?

Maybe he's being punished for that night at the _'Bunny Hutt.'_ But he didn't do anything! He did get tickled by some half-naked chicks but he was always fully clothed. Getting drunk was probably a sin…no, that's not it….hurling on the carpet in front of your sister? Yeah, that would do it!

The emperor still had that insipid smile on his face. It was almost demonic. What! Of course it's demonic. He's a SITH Lord. If there ever was a time to start crying like a bitch and calling your daddy, now was the time! Thought: _'I am in so much trouble'_

Luke finally takes a seat facing the Emperor.

"Luke, your father tells me you are studying for the bar. I was quite surprised that you had any aspirations of joining the Imperial Counsel."

"Well actually, I…."

Luke is at a loss for words. He grins for no apparent reason. He knows he must look silly.

"You're a smart young man. You'll do well. I must say, however, that I was most disappointed that you didn't come on board as my intern. I was so looking forward to training another Skywalker and bringing you onboard as an employee."

"You're too generous, Your Excellency. I am truly flattered" Luke nervously taps his fingers against the arm of the chair. He looks around the room. He sees the window. He tries to concentrate on the traffic flying by. Nice view. He was going to make conversation like, _'Isn't this the window where you resisted arrest by a Jedi Master….' _Nope. Bad idea. Thought: _'Reliving the past leads to pissing off the Emperor, this leads to implicating Daddy, which leads to…. Awwwh Craap!'_

While Luke is zoning out on every word the Emperor is speaking, Luke is trying to go to his _'happy place'_ so he can get the Hoth out of there! All Luke hears from the Emperor's mouth right now is:

"Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blaah The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural."

"What the _'firecracker'_ is this _SITH_ talking about?"

_To be continued: Salvation Is A Good Thing. It Comes In Many Form And Species_


	14. Chapter 14 Salvation Is A Good Thing

_Chapter 14_

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Salvation Is A Good Thing. It Comes In Many Form and Species'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

There is a commotion just outside the Emperor's door.

'Excuse me. Coming through….."

The door opens and Jar Jar Binks enters carrying a tray with tea and finger sandwiches. He heads straight for the Emperor's desk.

"Meesa got good snak for his Imperial fussiness! Dagobah Tee, samwicheese and frisa Naboo tomatoes. Yousa eatum good today, Sire!"

Luke is stunned. Suddenly a visibly humiliated and embarrassed Emperor manages a faint smile then tries to usher JarJar out but JarJar is 'on a mission'

"Thank you, Jar Jar. Good work. You may go now."

"Nooo! Meesa go to set up nice place for you and sith apprentice."

JarJar turns and sees Luke. He shakes Luke's hand.

" Howsa yousa? You apprentice for Master Sidious? He can throw fierce lightening all the way to the door! Yousa got to be fast running apprentice. You real nice. Son of Sith Lord Vader. Emperor here wants to make you Dark Lord real fast! Hesa old an' gonna die soon!"

"Hi, Jar-Jar." This is the best moment yet in Luke's life. He was praying for 'salvation' since he sat in that chair! Hallelujah!

JarJar licks his hand and runs it across Luke's hair. Luke's new haircut is just about ruined. He's got tuffs of wet blond hair sticking up on his head. Luke grimaces but then things could be worse.

The emperor is trying to get Jar Jar's attention so the Gungan will leave but JarJar is excited about Luke being there so anything the emperor says falls on deaf ears. Deaf Gungan ears.

The Emperor is temped to kill JarJar but he is too exasperated to bother.

MEANWHILE – Outside the Emperor's suite, Darth Vader is walking down the hall. He sees the Emperor's door ajar. He slowly creeps up and peers inside. He can't believe what he is seeing.

Vader waits a moment then walks up to the door and enters. Jar-Jar screams when he sees Vader enter the room.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh! Yousa not going choke-wild on Jar-Jar are you, Lord Vader?"

Vader looks at Jar-Jar then blows him off. Vader walks towards Luke.

"Luke!!! There you are! I've been waiting."

"Sorry, Father. His Excellency the Emperor invited me in for a chat." He force whispers to his father. _'Get me outta here'_

The Emperor smiles over at Luke. Inside he is seething. 'Another attempt to take the son of Skywalker dashed!' Thinking to himself: _'Why me? I'm the most powerful SITH Lord. Why can't I get this done?'_

Vader grabs Luke by the shoulder.

"I hope my son hasn't been any trouble, Master"

"No. No….not at all. We were just chatting about his career goals. Lord Vader, you should be proud of the boy. He's a delightful young man. He takes the silver tray of food and offers it to them. "Canapé?

"Thanks, no. I ate before I got here" Luke looks at his father "I did. Uncle Ben took me out to lunch."

The Emperor lets the tray crash back onto his desk. He is terribly annoyed right now.

"Did you do what I told you to do?"

"Yes, Dad."

Jar-Jar looks out the window at the traffic, "Ooooh, Theysa biga traffic jam out side. Meesa glad to be in nice Imperial Office!"

"Well, Luke, thank the Emperor for being such a gracious host."

"Luke, I hope you will visit from time to time. I just adore the Skywalker children. Luke, give us a hug, my boy."

He embraces Luke. Luke looks over his shoulder at his father and rolls his eyes. Vader watches pensively.

The emperor holds Luke's face in his old hands.

"Lord Vader, you've done a marvelous job raising Luke and Leia. Padmé would be very proud of you. Such good, sweet, smart children."

Luke shrugs his shoulders and raises his arms. Vader fold his arms across his chest waiting for the Emperor to release his son. The emperor finally releases Luke and pats his face. Suddenly Jar-Jar rushes over and sandwiches Luke between himself and the Emperor. He waves Vader over. Vader is not in the mood. He mutters under his breath, _"You've got to be kidding me"_

"Group hug!" Weesa all like family now!!!!!!!"

Vader has had enough. He breaks the group hug, "Well, that was something. Luke, let's not keep the Emperor from his work. Let's go, son."

Jar-Jar taps on Vader's helmet. Vader turns and looks at Jar-Jar. Jar-Jar almost look terrified then smiles.

The Emperor walks Luke and Vader to the door. Luke receives one more embrace from the old man.

"Remember, Luke, My door is always open to you, my son. May the Force be with you."

"Right back at you, Paps!"

They finally leave. Jar-Jar scampers out with the food tray and disappears into the galley. They head down the hall pass the red cloaked Imperial guards.

**_To be continued: _ **'_This is Where the Fun Begins'_


	15. Chapter 15This is Where The Fun Begins

_Chapter 15 _

' _This Is Where The Fun Begins & I Was A Roboborg'_

Threepio hurries over to Lord Vader and Luke as they walk down the hall back to Vader's office. Vader shoves Luke.

"'_Right back at you!' _What the Hell was that???_"_

"Oww! Dad! I just thought it sounded cool."

"Sounds like something you picked up from Han Solo. Get in the office! I've got a lot of things to go over with you."

The three walk inside. Gladys hands Vader his data pad with his messages.

"Thank you, Gladys"

Luke grabs the flowers from Threepio and hands them to Gladys. He smiles his sweetest, in his charmingly boyish fashion.

"Glady's these are for you."

"Oh, why, thank you, Luke. What a sweet boy."

"Actually, they're from Leia. She wanted to thank you for your help the other day."

Gladys thinks for a moment. That was the day Gladys refused to let Leia see her father and Leia threatened to break the secretary's fingers. Nice.

Vader, Luke and Threepio enter his office. Vader force-locks the door. Luke sits in the mediation chamber and swings around in the chair. Vader removes his mask and helmet and shakes his hair free. Father and son are laughing.

Threepio walks over to the desk and examines the mask and helmet.

"Oh dear!"

He looks over at Anakin who plops down in his chair behind his desk. He rests his feet on the desk. Anakin looks back at the droid.

"Threepio, Get over it!"

"Well!" The droid walks over to the meditation chamber.

Anakin is gathering some papers. He has a lot of matters to go over with Luke.

"Luke!"

Luke jumps out of the chamber and sits at the desk with his father. Anakin dangles the credit card statement in front of his son.

"Explain."

The meditation chamber closes as Threepio is inside examining the features. All anyone can hear are muffled sounds of a whimpering droid. _'Help! Help! I'm turning into a cyborg! Master please!!'_

No one looks over at the chamber.

Anakin is looking across the desk at Luke. He points to the sheet of paper then makes Luke take it in-hand and read it himself. Anakin's blue eyes are intense as they are fixed on his son.

"Did you do this?? Hum??"

Luke wasn't sure which answer would work. He couldn't quite read his father right now.

"Well…"

"I'm waiting. Luke, this isn't astrophysics. Work with me here, son. 'Yes' or 'No.' Pick one. And don't lie because we both know that's useless"

"Yes."

"See? Was that hard??? So, you actually did this??"

"Yes."

Anakin laughs out loud. Luke starts laughing too. Anakin high-fives Luke. They are chuckling for several minutes. Anakin is busy writing something.

"Man that was funny. I was sitting in a meeting with the Emperor and he looks over to me." He reenacts the dialogue between himself and the Emperor. Anakin does a dead-on impression of Palpatine:

'_Lord, Vader, do you smell garlic?' _

"_I did sense it, my Master."_

"_Smells like pizza."_

"_I'm sure it's the generator overheating again. I'll have maintenance look into it."_

"I thought the old geezer was imagining things! But now I know he's not. Not totally." Anakin looks down at his data pad then up at Luke. Luke is smiling but not as much as before. "That's 1700 credits which will come out of your trust fund…"

Luke is frozen for a moment. Then he leans in trying to see what his father is doing on the data pad."What???!!! You were laughing not a minute ago! Dad!"

"Yes, I laughed. It was funny. ….at the time. But it's not right. You'll have to pay. I know the Emperor is a real dick but what you did was wrong. So, you're short 1700 credits, my friend! Let that be a lesson learned. There is one good thing that came out of it though. The troops think the Emperor is a hero. How many cool guys do you think exist in the galaxy?"

Luke pouts. He is feeling a bit disappointed in his father. "You were one of them until a minute ago."

"What sort of father would I be if I didn't instill some lessons in integrity and loyalty in my kids? Are you mad at me?"

"No."

"And you're still grounded."

"I know, I know... Geez. I got no speeder, no ship. I can't travel. No social life"

"You get to travel. To training with Obi-Wan and Yoda, and to Naboo to see your grandparents and aunt. Beru and Owen are on holiday so Tatooine is off-limits until they return. Obi-Wan has agreed to train you here. As for a social life, that strip club took up all of the social life you would have had."

"My life sucks so badly," Luke rests his head on the desk and pouts. Anakin feels no pity for Luke who is sulking. Anakin is still making some notes on his data pad and speaks without looking up. He mocks Luke.

"'Boo_-hoo._' Starting next week you're coming to the office with me. You can be a social butterfly right here."

Luke suddenly thinks of something. Anakin looks at him knowing something is up. That twinkle in his son's eye was something he knew too well. He was the master at it. When a Skywalker wanted something, pouring on the charm was the next tactic. If that didn't work, then the whining started again. And if that failed, the dark brooding was unleashed along with the tantrum. Now this, _he_ was the king at. He wasn't proud of it. The saving grace was that Luke did not possess this trait. That's were the Gods had some mercy and gave Luke the gift of Padmé's temperament. Luke had never thrown a temper tantrum as a child…his daughter competed with her father for that top honor. Luke's sweet, manipulative tone could calm the Frankenstein creature. Yes, Anakin was the creature this time around. That sweet violin music of which was that of Luke's voice.

"Oh, Dad! Guess who I saw today while I was buying flowers?"

"Someone from your past? I don't know. Who?"

"Isabel, our old nanny."

"She wasn't old…ohh...I got you. Did she see you?" Anakin is smiling again.

"Yes. We talked…Dad. She's still single. And she's hot. You should call her."

"What??"

"Come on Dad. Who's social life is deader than mine?? You need a date. You need to get laid then you'll forget about grounding me every week."

"We're talking about the nanny you had a crush on when you were 6 years old."

"I got her number."

"Luke!" Anakin is embarrassed.

"You used to like her."

"She used to work for me. I didn't want to be responsible for her losing her job."

"B.S., Dad. Anyway, she doesn't work for you anymore. Give her a call. Come on, you know you want to. You've been miserable all these years."

Luke slides the card across the desk. Anakin stares at it as if it's a sabacc card:

_Isabel Nor_

_Child Management Counselor_

_Coruscant University_

Anakin is speaking slowly as he touches the card. He is in deep thought. There were memories that had suddenly come back stirring emotions deeply hidden for over ten years.

"Luke, you can let Threepio out of the chamber. He's freaking out in there. It was fun while it lasted."

Luke leaves his father alone with his thoughts and walks over to release the Protocol droid. Threepio scurries out of the Meditation Chamber. As it closes, he kicks it. "There! Take that!"

Anakin studies the card again not looking up to watch the droid cursing the spherical contraption. Anakin was not ready to do what Luke knew he should do.

_To be continued: 'He's Just a Giving Person'_


	16. Chapter 16 He's Just A Giving Person

_Chapter 16_

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_He's A Giving Person'_

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

It has been two weeks now since Luke started 'reporting for duty' at his Father's office. 1700 credits would take some time to work off. Working for his dad had its perks though. Luke was treated well either because of his father or in spite of him. It is a clear combination of fear and respect.

At the Galactic Senate, Leia was just finishing up. She thought it was time to swallow her pride and take a little ride across town. She remembered the address. She presses the bell.

The door opens. Han finds it hard to smile. She didn't trust him with her brother and now they weren't speaking. Han was even more hurt by the fact that she didn't trust him at all. He wasn't the most intellectual guy in the galaxy but he was by no means stupid.

The evening he brought Luke home, he was already late doing a run for an equipment station on Ryloth and then back to Tatooine. His clientele was becoming more 'legit' so he was relying less and less on shady organizations like Jabba the Hutt's. He was making better money too, so the investment in this new condo on Coruscant served a dual purpose. It was close enough to the exclusive district near the Senate building, which was also where the Skywalkers lived.

Han liked to punish himself.

Leia got straight to the point. "I'm sorry."

Han holds open the door for her. She walks in. Boxes are everywhere. No prints on the wall unless you count the logistics map of the galaxy and a holograph of Han and Chewie at a pub with friends. Neither knew what to say and the conversation was awkward. Han doesn't know what else to do so he looks around the room.

"I'll show you around. This is the living room. I have a great sound system that will go along this wall…"

"It's a big place."

"Yeah, I guess…lots of rooms to get lost in. Chewie's staying for awhile. That's his room. He's not here all the time. Only when he's doing a run with me or just to hang out. God, I missed you!"

They kiss. They stumble into a row of boxes. Leia tosses her silk satchel on the floor.

"Wait!" She throws off her cape. They land on two cartons. Han stops

"I've got furniture. Let's go."

They disappear down the hall.

Meanwhile – Back at the office. Anakin is rearranging papers on his desk. The card Luke handed to him two weeks ago is now on the right corner of the desk. Luke walks in and observes his father.

"Dad, do you have OCD?

"No but I might develop a compulsion to kick you in the ass if you don't leave me alone."

"My, aren't we grumpy? Dad, that card has been on every spot on your desk since I gave it to you."

Anakin pouts as he rests his chin on his fist.

"So?"

"So, if it's bothering you that much give it back. It was just an idea. Listen. Give me the card."

Anakin starts to hand the card to Luke. Luke takes it.

"I know. I'll give it to Uncle Ben. He remembers her……..." He does not tell his father that Obi-Wan, Leia, and he met Isabel for lunch or tea on occasion in the past few years.

"Give it back!!!!"

"Dad, you said you didn't want it……Wait. You only want it because I was going to give it to Obi-Wan!"

"No..No…that's not it….Luke, hand me the card."

"Why? You're never going to call her. I remember now! When she worked for us, you never talked to her. Ben talked to her…..You're jealous!"

"I'm not jealous! Don't be silly. Come on, Luke, stop playing around. Give me the card. Give it to me." Anakin urges him to hand over the card. He cups his hand waving it towards himself. "Luke, don't do this. I'm warning you."

Luke taunts his father to get him to admit something he was to embarrassed and ashamed to before.

"Dad, you're getting stressed out over it. Forget it."

"She was too young for Ben!"

"They were just friends. Besides, Ben knew you liked her."

"What???"

"It's true. Ben told me. He said you were still feeling guilty about mum and you couldn't bring yourself to be nice to Isabel. Dad, it's not too late, but you've got to speak up. So, you want the card? Here. Take the card."

Luke holds out his hand. Anakin forces it across the desk. It floats over to him and he grabs it. He sits back in his chair and holds his hands to his temples. He looks worried.

"Why are you children so mean to me? I was nice to her. You're evil! I'm getting a headache. A real big one. Tell your sister I want to see her. Now get back to work."

"See you later, Dad. I get a ride home tonight, right?"

"If you behave yourself."

"You wouldn't leave me stranded here, would you?"

Anakin is busy writing and deep in concentration.

Anakin makes a mental note: _'Kill Han Solo'_

_Next Chapter …'Path to Sainthood'_


	17. Chapter 17When I Was Your Age

_Chapter 17 _

'_When I Was Your Age' & 'Path to Sainthood'_

Two hours later. It is late afternoon. The session in the meditation chamber felt good. All of Anakin's bad thoughts were wiped away….except for one.

Leia walks into the reception area and sees Gladys, The two women look at one another.

"Good Afternoon, Gladys. How are you?"

"Quite well. Thank you and you, Princess?"

"Just peachy. I'm here to see the boss man"

"He's inside. Oh, I just want to tell you how beautiful the flowers were you sent over by your brother. Thank you so much."

Leia thinks the woman is crazy.

"You're welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed them. I'm going in to see my father now."

Leia enters the office and locks the door. Anakin is sitting at his desk. He looks up at Leia. He is not happy.

"Hi, Daddy. You look miserable. Did a _'Mustafar Lava Beetle'_ bite you in the butt?"

"You broke my heart, Leia"

She reads him. Suddenly she steps away.

"Stop that! Don't --------Daddy, that's private!"

"You're 18 years old! How could you? You're my little girl."

"Daddy, You're creeping me out now. You're whining like an old Tatooine peasant woman."

He is angry now.

"Just don't do anything foolish…Oh, I forgot! You already did!"

"I wouldn't talk if I were you! She mocks her father from a story she heard years ago _"..It would destroy our lives. "_

Anakin is not amused.

"Have you been drinking?"

"Oh, Daddy, Please! You fell in-love at an early age. Don't be a hypocrite."

"Well it's not funny. It's disrespectful to your mother's memory."

"I apologize."

"Apology accepted." He enters some information on his data pad. He hands her a receipt. She takes it and reads it. Her eyes widen. She wants to kill him.

"What the Hell is this?"

"Your bill for the flowers you gave to Gladys."

"I never……"

"Thank your older brother."

"By one minute."

"And I want you to be nicer to Glady's. I didn't appreciate you threatening to break her fingers. She works for me. She was following my orders. Don't bother tearing the bill. I've already deducted the cost of the flowers from your savings."

"You're enjoying this aren't you?"

"Hell, yes. At the rate you and your brother are going with your misdeeds, you'll be paupers by the time you're 20."

"Oh, Daddy, Please! I wasn't really going to break her fingers."

"You threatened to. Same difference."

"Are you applying for sainthood or something? Did you get knocked in the head and started to see divine visions?"

"Don't toy with me, Leia, you'll lose."

"You know what, Daddy, I'm going home. Dinner is at six if you care to join us. And we're having guests. I want you on your best behaviour."

"Do I know any of these guests?" He knows he does.

"Maybe. Why don't you show up to find out? You might even have a good time."

"Haven't you had a_ 'good time'_ already? I think I'm going to throw up!"

"Oh stop the drama! Every time you don't get what you want you get spastic. And don't you dare think of force-choking anyone tonight."

"How about tomorrow?" He cocks his head to the side.

"Listen to me you big baby. If you so much as blink the wrong way I'm going to make you miserable all week."

"I'm already miserable. I beat you to it."

"Try to be '_less'_ miserable. I'm leaving now. I bought you a new shirt. Wear it." She slams a shirt boxon the desk."Oh, you won't need to drive Luke home. I'm taking him. Remember what I said. Be nice to the guests tonight."

"You're going to need a bigger liquor cabinet!"

Leia ignores him and walks out. He looks inside the box. A blue shirt. Didn't that store have a color more befitting his mood tonight? How about _'brooding brown while I strangle you for ruining my daughter'_ shirt Anakin drops his head on the desk and moans. Gladys walks in to check on him. She has papers for him to sign. She takes his stylus and places it in his hand. He signs the papers without lifting his head from the desk.

"Can I get you anything, Sir?"

"The head of Han Solo."

"What was that sir?"

"Never mind."

"Are you feeling alright?"

He grabs her hand. She is a bit frightened as he pulls her close to his face on the desk. He has the look of a desperate man. He whispers to her: "Gladys, don't ever have a daughter, they'll rip out your heart and eat it as you watch."

Gladys nervously nods her head in patronizing agreement. She then pats his face in a soothing motherly fashion and whispers back to him, smiling sweetly. "I have four sons and seven grandchildren. I no longer have to worry about such things. Everything will be alright. You'll see. Someday you'll have grandchildren too. I'm going home now. Goodnight, Lord Vader"

Anakin answers in the weakest pathetic voice. "Thank you."

She gently pats his hand then takes the papers and leaves.

Half-catatonic Anakin lets out a heavy sigh. Then the visual hits him: Little Leias and little Han Solos running around on baby speeders carrying illegal cargo across the galaxy. "Noooooooooooooooo!"

_To be continued …..'We Need More Liquor' & 'I Knew You Were Coming But I Didn't See You'_


	18. Chapter 18 We Need More Liquor

_Chapter 18 _

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'_We Need More Liquor' & 'I Knew You Were Coming But I Didn't See You'_

'_Skywalker Sky High'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

It is early evening at the Skywalker Home

Servants are setting the table. Leia is getting dressed. No one has heard from Anakin. He is not answering in his office. Luke calls out to Leia:

"Leia, I'm taking your speeder."

"Don't make me regret letting you have the keys."

"I promise. There won't be a scratch on it. I'll be right back" He leaves.

Back at the office Anakin slowly pulls himself away from his desk. He leaves a trail of drool where his face had lain. He stands and grabs the box that Leia had left for him. He looks at his light saber for a moment. He had never read about any _'suicide by light saber'_ incidents in the Coruscant News. He wondered if his would be the first. With his luck it would be in the plasma tabloids with lots of sorted fabricated details. It would shame his kids and ruin the family name.

'_Good, they deserve to suffer.'_

He manages to make his way to the executive refresher. He takes a shower and gets dressed. The blue shirt actually looked good on him. He adjusts the collar in the mirror as he stands over the sink. He presses his palms against the imported Fondor black marble vanity. He was angry.

His newly deflowered daughter had good fashion sense. Too bad she didn't possess the same discerning eye for young men. That cradle robbing, cargo smuggling, sarcastic, child-corrupting son of a………..he hears a voice:

'_Anakin? Take a deep breath….relax…_ _Remember: Your focus determines your reality.'_

"Qui-Gon???"

'_Hey, Ani, you're not doing too well today, are you?'_

"Have you felt the_ 'sith' _that's been happening to me lately? It's an_ 'effing' _nightmare."

'_Anakin, you've always had bad dreams.'_

"Only this one is real and it's biting me in the ass! I hate it!" He kicks the refresher door.

Anakin angrily paces in the small room. He stops to look in the mirror and sees Qui-Gon's Force ghost. Qui-Gon looks at his former padawan:

'_You have a lot on your mind. Let's go outside and chat.'_

Anakin is lying on the office sofa. Qui-Gon sits at Anakin's desk. He looks around and nods in approval.

'_Nice digs you got here. Is that real Gundarkian leather?' _He _points_ to the two chairs facing the desk. These are the same chairs Han Solo sat in two weeks earlier. _'Sweet. Not a bad deal for the Emperor's bitch.'_

"I thought you came here to help. Don't start dissing me you pony-tailed hippie." He grabs a small stuffed ewok that Leia used to play with as a child. He holds it against his chest.

'_Listen, you ungrateful Tatooine sand boy! You got yourself into this mess. I'm only trying to help."_ He notices a tiny pool of drool on Anakin's desk. He just misses resting his force-ghost sleeves in it. _"You should get a paper towel to wipe that up before you wind up with water marks'_

Qui-Gon listens to Anakin while rifling through the desk drawers. He smiles and removes a plastic bag filled with tiny green and orange leaves. He looks over at Anakin holding up the pouch.

'_Ahooo! Looks like little Ani has a little extracurricular hobby." _He opens the pouch and samples it. _"This is pure Falucia weed. This stuff will 'eff' you up! How did you get this?'_

"Hand me one of those will you?" Qui-Gon Force-tosses one of the prepared _'sticks' _to Anakin.

"Thanks, man."

'_So, you really need these things?? Does "The Boss" know?'_

"He's the one who recommended it. It's for medicinal purposes. I even got a prescript."

'_Medicinal purposes? You sick?'_ Qui-Gon is grinning. This is sheer amusement to him. '_The Chosen One'_ is a neurotic pothead!

"I had a bad experience. Battle injuries."

'_You mean that Mustafar B.S.?? You tripped on a rock! The most that happened was you scratched your face.'_

"But I fell! You try rolling down a lava embankment like a rotisserie chicken! It ain't a lot of fun, my friend! Plus I have the_ 'dreams'_."

'_The dream where you keep getting your limbs lopped off? That's B.S.! That's a lot of __psychoanalytic theory B.S. and you know it Anakin. It doesn't mean a bloody thing! It does mean you may be wacko. __Actually, Anakin you worry too damned much! You need to relax. When was the last time you got laid??? Oh, never mind.'_

"Will everyone stop with that??? Why is everyone saying this?_" _He takes a drink from a 500 credit bottle of Caamas whisky.

'_You're moody, you're always angry; you try to manage your kids too much because you have no life of your own_ and you're drunk.'

"Oh, Qui-Gon, my life is a mess. He starts sobbing. His shoulders shake. Qui-Gon is giggling. Anakin's pathetic wailing is comical. 'I can't go to this dinner tonight. I can't go home. People are going to be there who I don't like, my children…_"_ He lets out a wistful sigh.

'_You don't like your children?'_ The Force-ghost continues to rifle through Anakin's desk.

"I _**Like**_ my children! I _**Love**_ my children! What are you, deaf?? People will be there."

'_What is it about these people?'_

"Just people…I know one of them I want to kill. Ooooooh! I want to kill this person so bad I can taste it!" He sticks out his tongue and wipes away the fuzz from the stuffed ewok. He dries his hand on the toy "And I hear voices. People keep calling me. Everybody wants a piece of me"

Meanwhile, back at the Skywalker house, Leia is annoyed. She goes to Luke.

"Did you try the office?"

"I've been calling him for the last hour! ----Dad!!! Where the _'eff'_ is he?"

"I am going to rip his heart out when he gets here. Daddy???!!!!! Oh! He makes me so mad! Wait till I get my hands on that over-the-hill _Backstreet Boy_! Anakin Skywalker! Darth Vader! Get your cowardly sith ass home now!"

The doorbell rings. Leia goes to the door. It is Han.

"Hey, babe, you look gorgeous." He is holding flowers and a bottle of Corellian Vodka and a magnum of champagne. They kiss in the doorway. Leia grabs his butt.

"Hello, handsome. I'm so glad you're here. Your timing is perfect."

"Where's _'His Dark Lordship'_?"

"Oh, he'll be here." She says this with a knowing smile.

Back at the office, Anakin bolts upright on the sofa. He has the look of a serial killer on his face. In a quiet but determined voice he speaks:

"I've got to go home."

'_You're drunk.'_

"I'll put the speeder on autopilot! These visions are in my head!"

'_Premonitions, premonitions_ _Hmmmm, these visions you have_..._'_

"They are of pain, suffering, death. You're starting to sound like Yoda."

'_Mind if I tag along?'_

"I don't care. You want to witness a bloodbath? How do I look?"

'_Appropriately dressed for a bloodbath. What about me? How do I look?' _Qui-Gon turns for a _'fashion inspection.' _

"Like a hippie ghost. Let's roll." He grabs his light saber.

'_Great. A drunken Sith with a lightsaber.'_

Anakin tosses the stuffed Ewok back on the sofa. They leave the office.

_To be continued… 'Dinner at the Skywalker Rancho Deluxe' _


	19. Chapter 19Dinner at the Skywalker Rancho

_Chapter 19 _

'_The Dinner at the Skywalker Rancho Deluxe'_

_Where were the daytime talk show hosts when this was going down?_

_What was intended to be an elegant gathering of family and friends starts out badly. Can the damage be repaired before the evening is over?_

Obi-Wan is sitting in a roomy armchair nursing a Caamas double straight up. Han is checking out the music selection on the plasma.

Luke is sipping a soft drink. He walks over to Han as they pick music.

"What the 'eff' are you drinking, Junior?

"Rodia soda."

"What are you, 5?" Han grins.

"It's good. Try some."

"No thanks. I'm trying to cut back. So, who else is coming to this dysfunctional family picnic? You have a date?"

"Yeah. Leia's talking to her."

Pulling Luke aside. He pokes his head in the Solarium where Leia and another woman are chatting. He grabs Luke by the arm in the hallway.

"You're not so naïve after all, sport! Look at you! Do you know what to do with her? Something like that comes with instructions. You need a permit for one of those. She looks as if she could eat you alive. Wait a minute.. She looks very familiar. You little dog! You've got the hots for your former nanny? How long has this been going on? Talk to me, Junior! Does Daddy know? I bet he doesn't does he?"

"It's a little more complicated than that, Han."

"I bet it is! Is that why you're drinking _'Baby-Aid?' _You want to be babied? I can get down with that. Well…actually, I couldn't. No"

"If I tell you, you promise not to say anything?

"Well, that kinda depends. I'm not a secret kind of guy unless it's in my best interest…"

"Promise!" Luke is adamant now. Han realizes he is serious. Luke peers around the corner passing Obi-Wan who is getting sauced and listening to the music.

"Alright. Alright! What is it?"

Luke confides in Han as they stand in the alcove near the living room. He is earnest about what is going to say.

"She's for my father."

"What do you mean _'She's for your father'_? Are you feeling alright?" He feels Luke's forehead for a fever. Luke blushes and waves Han's hand away. "You got her for "Monsieur Grumpy?"

"Yeah." Luke looks away.

"Why? He makes everybody's life miserable. What makes you think she wants a piece of the _'Sith machine?'_ Is she crazy too?"

"Actually, she doesn't know. She thinks she's here for a family reunion of sorts."

"How's "Daddy Dearest" taking it?"

"He sort of does/doesn't know."

"How does he _'does'_ and _'doesn't_' know? I'm getting a headache."

"I'm trying to hide that thought from him."

"You are such a good son. He's going to kick your ass. Dinner should be very interesting tonight."

R2D2 is looking out over the balcony. He chirps to CP3O. Threepio responds in agreement.

"You heard it? I heard it too. Sounds like a bad accident down there"

"Let's go inside and see if Princess Leia needs our help.'

Everyone is seated for dinner. Leia looks at the time. They start dinner without Anakin. Leia is furious. Obi-Wan gives a toast. Leia is distracted and keeps looking in the direction of the front door. She knows he is there.

"I would like to Thank Princess Leia and Master Luke for their hospitality. This is a lovely reunion dinner. I can't recall the last time I had such a great time. I suppose I have experienced other good times…"

Obi-Wan ponders for a moment in an attempt to gather his thoughts.

"I guess I was blacked out those times…which proves those parties were good too! Oh. Isabel, you look absolutely ravishing tonight grrr!"

Luke giggles as Han sits across from him doing a drunken Obi-Wan imitation. Luke covers his mouth with a napkin to muffle his laughter. Leia tries to interrupt as Obi-Wan rambles on. She lets him run out of steam. "And may the Force be with you! Cheers!"

"Thank you, Obi-Wan…."

Luke almost chokes as everyone raises their glasses. Leia speaks as she looks in Luke's direction and gives him an icy glance. She almost loses it too but recovers.

"Thank you, Obi-Wan. That was lovely. I hope that we can continue this tradition. Everyone at this table is very special to Luke and me. Han, would you like to say something?"

"What? Oh. Oh! Well, I just want to say this is just great. I never thought I would have such a good time tonight. It's turning out better than I thought. I feel so relaxed right now. Everyone here is so nice. I'm just glad that we're all getting along so well. This is really cool and it's great that there are two gorgeous chicks at the table…'cause otherwise it would just be a boozing men's club. I see, Junior finally got to drink champagne instead of that knee-hi stuff he was guzzling down earlier. Well, I'm done."

Leia rolls her eyes after Han's so-called speech. Everyone is at the table chatting. Luke is refilling Obi-Wan's whisky glass with the soft drink he was sipping earlier.

Meanwhile – In the parking bay at the house

Qui-Gon and Anakin arrive during the speech. The jet speeder is scratched on the side after Anakin lets Qui-Gon go on a test drive. They almost cause a pile up on the way over. After landing, the craft sideways in the bay, the two prepare to go inside. Anakin stops short of the door. He nervously paces outside.

"I can't go in."

'_Relax. It'll be ok. Put the bottle down, Anakin.'_

Anakin sticks the half full whisky bottle in a nearby planter. He runs his hands through his hair.

"I want to go in but I can't. I can't do it, Qui-Gon."

'_Can I go in? I want to check her out'_

"Yes. No. Stay with me". He is breathing hard. "Hold me"

Qui-Gon ducks out of the way, 'Oh, God!'

Anakin is almost hyperventilating.

"Why me? I can't go in there…………."

'_Anakin?'_

Anakin faints. Moments later the door opens. Luke, Leia and Obi-Wan see Qui-Gon. He steps over Anakin who is still passed out on the floor. Obi-Wan smiles and raises his glass to his former mentor and master. Luke and Han help carry Anakin inside. Leia moves the pillows.

Anakin is lying frozen on the sofa. Han, Luke and Leia stand over his body. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are chatting. Qui-Gon Checks out Isabel who is returning with a cold pack for Anakin's head. Qui-Gon is making lecherous remarks.

'_Damn! She's hot. Obi-Wan, you could have had this.'_

"I couldn't do it to the boy."

'_Finders keepers, man!' _Qui-Gon rubs his hands together in anticipation of "touching" Isabel with the _Force_. Leia turns to him.

"Cut it out, old man"

Han looks around. He sees Obi-Wan behind him. Han looks back at Anakin.

"So, what do you want to do about the stiff? He's messing up the vibe here. Just when we were having a good time! Damn."

Isabel looks over at Luke.

"Elevate his feet, Luke."

Han grins in response to Luke taking orders so obediently. He whispers. "Whoop! You baby Boga"

Luke blushes. He wants to laugh. Leia catches the two of them clowning. She bites her lip as Han and Luke are goofing on Anakin and his predicament. Isabel places the cold pack on Anakin's forehead. She steps away. Han grins and thinks of something. Luke rolls his eyes and tries to tell Han not to do anything.

"Well…he looks peaceful. But…let me check something…Can we place him on the balcony overnight?"

Leia almost laughs, "Han, No! Certainly not!"

Han places his head on Anakin's chest. He listens. He raises his hand for everyone to stop talking. Luke leans over to see what Han is looking for. Qui-Gon whispers to Obi-Wan.

'_Is he a doctor?'_

"He's the bane of Anakin's existence. 'The boyfriend'"

'_Oh. He seems like a nice chap. Anakin talks about him as if he's some sort of incubus'_

"In a manner of speaking"

Han is still resting his head on Anakin's chest.

"Wait…I hear something….It..it has a heart! It's beating! It's ALIVE!..heheheeh"

Luke is giggling uncontrollably

"Han, ok, that's enough…get up."

Han can't help himself. The "Prince of Sithdom" is out cold. This is Han's moment to have a little fun at the old man's expense.

"This is sweet. The old man is down for the count. He actually reminds me of a blond Snow White with a hormone imbalance. Too bad we don't have seven little sith Ewoks to stand around him."

Obi-Wan is busy nursing another whisky from across the room

"I must admit, this is certainly the most entertaining part of the evening."

Isabel backs away to stand beside Obi-Wan. She has been away for several years but she has stories to tell about her former charges when they were younger. And she knew when to stay out of the line of fire.

"I can't believe, after all these years you children are still taunting him."

Qui-Gon is still checking out Isabel. She feels a breeze on the back of her neck. She moves her dark hair over her shoulder. Qui-Gon smells her hair. He grins over at Obi-Wan

Leia is trying not to laugh but Han won't stop making remarks. She turns away and begins laughing uncontrollably. Tears roll down her face.

"Han, he'll be okay. Get up. Han…Han"

Anakin feels the coolness of the pack on his forehead. He also feels something heavy against his chest. Suddenly everyone in the room is screaming. Obi-Wan hurries over. He is suddenly sober again.

"Let him go, Anakin!... Let him go."

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_To be continued: 'Keep your concentration here and now, where it belongs.'_


	20. Chapter 20 The Blueness of Your Face

_Chapter 20_

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- **

'_The blueness of your eyes,_

_The blueness of your face_

_Can I hold onto you just a little bit longer?'_

'_I've Got The Munchies Again. Where Are The Moon Pies Godammit?'_

'_Blast That Damned Data Pad'_

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- **

"Anakin!

"Daddy! You're killing him!"

Anakin has a vice grip around Han's throat. Leia is almost in tears. Suddenly Anakin looks around to see everyone staring at him in horror. He sees his daughter's face. He quickly releases his grip from around Han's neck. Han falls back. Obi-Wan breaks his fall. Anakin stands and let's the cold pack fall on the sofa. He looks around the room. He walks over to Leia. She turns her head away. Anakin sees Isabel from across the room. He looks as if he is going to make her his next victim. He is angry. He turns and storms out. He enters his bedroom and force slams the door.

Leia is in the refresher with Han checking his neck. Everything seems fine. He sits as she scans for any damage. He looks at her

"Any brain damage?"

"Only what you brought over with you earlier. You're fine."

"How's the zombie?"

"He'll be fine. He's had a lot of surprises in the past 48 hours."

"Well did he have to choose tonight to have a meltdown??"

"Han, you didn't help matters with that stunt you pulled. He can hear everything. You keep forgetting that, even while he's passed out."

"My neck is a little stiff. Could you massage it a little?"

"Sure. Better?"

"Could you kiss it?"

"Of course."

She kisses him.

Meanwhile – Anakin is on his bed curled in a fetal position. Qui-Gon sits at the window. There is a knock on the door. Luke walks in. He sees Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. Anakin reaches out for Luke to take his hand. Luke crouches beside the bed.

"Hi, Luke. Everyone's mad at me?"

"Pretty much. Leia especially."

"She's always mad at me, she'll get over it."

"Han's alright."

Anakin becomes defensive.

"I know he is. I didn't really hurt him. I just wanted scare the _'Sith'_ out of him…just a little."

"Isabel is about to leave."

Anakin _'appears'_ to be totally oblivious at the seriousness of his actions. He sounds almost euphoric when asking his next question.

"Oh. Did she have a good time tonight?"

"Dad!!!! I don't consider watching someone getting force-choked to death entertainment! Of course she's not alright. You gave her the same look tonight as you gave her the day she left us. Why don't you go out there and apologize?"

Qui-Gon chimes in

"_Or make out with her. That usually calms chicks down. Make up sex is always good in these situations."_

Luke turns to Qui-Gon

"Do you mind???"

Luke looks at his father again. He senses his father's embarrassment. Anakin looks back at Luke.

"Maybe later. I'm not in a good place right now, Luke. But don't let her leave. Don't stop the dinner party because of me.'

"Oh, we won't. We're going to have dessert soon. If you'd like to join us you're welcome."

Anakin sits up on the bed.

"Of course I'm welcome being that this is my house and all."

Qui-Gon shouts out raising a fist.

"_Right on! You tell him, Ani! _

Qui-Gon is beginning to annoy Luke.

"Did you invite him?" He points to Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon answers Luke.

'_It's called an intervention.' _Qui-Gon turns his attention to Obi-Wan_ 'Obi-Wan, you old goat! Boy did you hit the wall! Are you staying to keep Ani company?'_

"I'll pop back in. I seem to have misplaced my drink during the commotion. I'm going for a refill then I'll sit with the youngsters for awhile."

"_Suit yourself. I'm calling in a few favors, so we'll be a bit busy in here"_

Luke looks over at Qui-Gon.

"More visitors?? How many? My dad needs his rest. He's had a stressful day"

"_What a good boy you have here, Ani. My little Ani has kids. Soon his little girl will be marching up the aisle with that nice boy he was choking a minute ago. You've got a hot chick waiting for you out there. You're a real badass! I'm impressed!"_

Anakin doesn't want to hear anymore about his daughter and that _'scoundrel.'_ He holds a pillow over his head.

Luke leans over and kisses his father on the head

"Dad, you should get some sleep. I'll stop in later to check on you." He turns to Qui-Gon. "Keep it down in here."

Qui-Gon smiles and holds his index finger to his lips in compliance with Luke's wishes.

Luke is back in the living room. Everything is back to normal. Dessert is served. Leia is sitting on the sofa on Han's lap. Han is no worse for wear. He is back to his old self cracking jokes. Leia even makes light of the situation.

"Han, I hope you can pace yourself. You just used up two of your nine lives."

"Why don't I just visit him once every decade then I can be guaranteed to live to a hundred years?"

"Very funny"

Luke sits on the other side of the u-shaped sofa with Isabel. On the coffee table is a tray full of desserts and beverages. Everyone is comfortably curled up reminiscing about the earlier years when Luke and Leia were young children.

The children had a total of twelve nannies or child specialists over the years. Isabel was by far the favorite. She was hired to help Anakin make the difficult transition to single parenthood. It was a darker time and Anakin was in no position to be a father to two infants. He was granted supervised visits until the court awarded full custody to him when the twins reached the age of five. It was after this is time when she arrived. She was his savior. Isabel was never meant to be a permanent fixture in the Skywalker home. She was there to make sure Anakin was able to take care of the children on his own. But this is another story for another day.

Tonight everyone was happy again and joking about the events over the past two weeks. Isabel hears about Luke's 'T&A' party on Bespin. Everyone in the room is howling with laughter. Leia retells the story.

"You should have seen him, Isabel. He was crawling on the floor trying to grab onto my leg. He had the worse hangover. Luke, you are a pathetic little drunk."

Luke holds onto Isabel's arm.

"Isabel, it was horrible. After dad found out he grounded me. I don't even have a vehicle anymore."

Isabel is amused.

"How long are you on 'lock down' Luke?"

"So far I got three consecutive life sentences…6 weeks."

"Six weeks??? What the heck did you do???"

"Well, there's that little matter about a pizza order. I still have to work it off! I'm his personal intern."

"You're an intern?"

"Well, it was either that or go work for the emperor. I'm not sure I made the right choice…."

Everyone laughs. Leia brings up the data pad. She does a dead-on impression of Anakin.

"_And I want you to be nicer to Glady's. I didn't appreciate you threatening to break her fingers._

Isabel interrupts

"You were going to break his secretary's fingers??? Leia…."

"Not really, she was just pissing me off. She's this sweet little 65 year old woman who Daddy simply adores. She's like his mother. Oh, then he taps on that stupid little pad like Scrooge! He was hunched over the desk like General Grievous!"

Leia continues to do her Anakin impression:

"_Don't bother tearing the bill. I've already deducted the cost of the flowers from your savings." _So I said,_ "What?"_

"… _At the rate you and your brother are going with your misdeeds, you'll be paupers by the time you're 20." Blahblahblah! _Then he comes home and passes out. He worked himself into a tizzy! Han, you were so funny when he was lying on the sofa."

Everyone is howling with laughter as she imitates her father tapping out numbers on his data pad. Luke turns red from laughing. Isabel covers her mouth to keep from laughing out loud. Luke rests his head on her lap as she strokes his hair.

Anakin shuffles pass the living room in his bare feet as he heads for the kitchen. He hears his children mocking his parenting skills and laughing at his expense.

Han is ready to joke again. He slaps his thigh and looks at Leia.

"So, Leia, you better save that cup on the table so you can start panhandling in two years. Luke, you're in no position to laugh at your sister. Grab a cup, pal! At the rate you're going you might need to start earning your keep on Bespin. There are a lot of lonely housewives who need a little boy toy action. Come on, Blondie! I'll even throw a few coins in here to start you off."

Han hands Luke the cup.

Obi-Wan laughs but he is so trashed that anything is funny to him right now. Luke has his own story. He sits up and leans against Isabel's shoulder.

"Wait, it gets better. He shows me this credit card statement and tells me how funny it is. He starts _"working his magic"_ on that data pad. Then he deducts the money from my trust fund. Is that legal??

Leia laughs.

"It is when he's the executor. Face it, Luke. We're stuck."

Anakin is in the kitchen. He can't believe his kids are turning on him after his crisis. How dare they drag Isabel down with them? Threepio is in the kitchen. He hands Anakin a glass. Anakin takes the glass and sets it firmly on the counter. He looks at the droid then intentionally drinks from the milk container.

Threepio taps Anakin on the shoulder.

"Master Ani, you really should use a glass. It's so much more civilized and it prevents germs from spreading."

Anakin continues to drink until he empties the container then tosses it in the trash. He looks at the droid.

"My house" He grabs a bag of chips and a chunk of cake from the cake plate.

"Well!! I was only being helpful."

"Don't help"

Suddenly there is a commotion in the kitchen. There is a blood curdling scream and the sound of metal crashing to the floor. Isabel gets up to see what is going on. As she approaches the kitchen Threepio's heads rolls on the floor stopping at her feet. Anakin is standing near the refrigerator. His arms are full with bags of snack food and a container of dip. He looks like Regan from the _'Exorcist'_ after she kills Father Merrin. Anakin looks at Isabel as he cradles his 'provisions.' He nods. Artoo is next to Isabel leans over Threepio's severed head. Anakin slides pass them. He's like a bank robber holding onto a hostage. He slowly passes her then finally speaks.

"How's it going?"

He disappears down the corridor and up to his room.

Isabel returns to the living room holding the droid's head. She hands the head to Luke. Han laughs.

"Looks like 'Goldenrod' here finally met his 'maker.'

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_Next Chapter… 'This Is Some Repugnant Sith'_


	21. Chapter 21This is Some Repugnant Sith!

_Chapter 21 _

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Bring me the Head of C3PO'_

'_This Is Some Repugnant Sith'_

'_You Will Be Visited By Three Force Ghosts'_

'_Qui-Gon: Private Eye Ghost'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Isabel points to the kitchen.

"Why didn't you guys help me in there??"

Luke is fixing Threepio. Artoo watches. Luke smiles up at her.

"You did ok. You didn't need us."

"Thanks, Luke. You saw what he did to Threepio."

"Dad, wouldn't have hurt you. He likes you."

Threepio is reassembled. Luke is just about finished. The protocol droid starts to speak again.

"Master Luke, I don't understand what has gotten into your father! It was as if he were possessed!"

"Don't take it personally, Threepio. He just has a lot on his mind."

Leia leans across the table to Isabel

"I hope you're staying tonight, Isabel"

"Well, it wasn't part of my plan. Leia, what are you up to?"

"Didn't Luke tell you? This is a sleepover. We're doing brunch tomorrow"

"No. I'm not going to do it."

Han Chimes in.

"Listen, I had to go to a damned Governors' Ball" Le looks back at Leia. "Sorry Babe but it was a snoozer"

Luke hugs Isabel.

"It'll be fun. Like old times"

"Luke, you couldn't even drink a glass of milk without it dribbling down your chin. _That _was old times"

Meanwhile, in the 'Sithmaster's' bedroom, Qui-Gon is listening to Anakin complain about his children. He is eating chips and dip brought in from the kitchen.

"After all I do for them they turn on me. Who do I have to choke around here to get some respect? You know what they're doing now? They're laughing at me and turning their former nanny against me."

'_So? What do you care? It's not as if she's working for you…anymore.'_

"It's humiliating."

'_Are you going to eat all that food?'_

"It's provisions. I missed dinner. And I've got the munchies real bad."

Another voice enters the conversation.

'_What the eff?? This is some repugnant 'sith!' You sleep in this room?'_

Anakin stops chewing. He's got a mouthful of food but what he sees makes him stop.

Qui-Gon laughs and pats Mace Windu on the shoulder.

'_Hey, Mace, glad you could make it. Thanks for doing me this favor. I know it wasn't easy for you to agree to do.'_

'_No problem, man. You know I got your back. I don't mind helping a brother out. I'll help you with this trifling 'mofo'.' _Mace looks over at Anakin. _'Yeah, I'm talking about you.'_

Anakin swallows what he was chewing.

"Wha-------Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't going to say that word again. How are you, Master Windu?"

'_I'm a ghost. Boo! How do you think I am? You like your new job?'_

"It's ok. I got great benefits and a nice office."

'_Did I ask all that??? That was a question that only required a one word answer. Let's try that again. You like your new job?'_

"Yes"

'_Thank you.'_

"Hey, Mace, I want to apologize for what happened back 18 years ago. I've been carrying the guilt with me for a long time."

'_Whatever. I didn't come here for that. Qui-Gon asked me to help with your intervention.'_

"Intervention? I don't need an intervention"

'_Oh, yes you do. Look at yourself. You're a mess. What the hell happened to you, man? Your ass used to be beautiful.'_

Qui-Gon nudges Mace on the shoulder

'_Did you check out the hot nanny in the living room before you came in?'_

Mace laughs. They high five each other.

'_Hell, yeah! She is fine! I can't believe she'd be interested in his sorry ass! I saw Obi-Wan in there drunk as he could be. He was checking her out. Obi-Wan's old but he's not stupid. Anakin, What's going on with this room? You can't make any moves on a woman in here. She's not going to want to sleep in here with your nacho crumbs all over the sheets.'_

Anakin shoots back

"It's clean!"

Qui-Gon laughs

'_He's coming off a Felucia high.' _

Mace walks around the bed looking at all the food wrappers and bags.

'_Is that why he's got half the kitchen on the bed? Felucia weed is harsh. That 'sith'' will rob you of your ambitions.'_

"It's for medicinal purposes"

Qui-Gon laughs.

'_Well there's no 'zero' tolerance at his job!'_

Mace shakes his head in disbelief as he inspects Anakin's bed. He looks over at Qui-Gon.

'_That freak Darth Maul was probably a crack head. Remember what he did to his face? It looked like a 'mofo' checkerboard'_

Qui-Gon laughs. Anakin laughs out loud at Mace's remark

'Ahahahaahh!' He sighs blissfully.

Mace returns a blank stare at Anakin. Anakin stops laughing.

'_Don't laugh. He impaled Qui-Gon. That '__sith'__ wasn't funny.' _He points to Qui-Gon '_Now you. You can laugh.'_

Qui-Gon is looking through Anakin's dresser. He finds underwear, socks, linen handkerchiefs and a pack of condoms. He examines at the package. They were purchased 12 years ago and have since past their expiration date. He holds them up for Mace to see them.

'_What's that, Qui-Gon?'_

Mace's eyes bulge as Qui-Gon points to the expiration date. Mace grins then looks over at Anakin who is busy making an ice cream sandwich with the chunk of cake he brought from the kitchen. Mace bites his lip to keep from laughing. Mace walks to the foot of Anakin's bed.

'_Hey, Anakin, bro, why do you still have these old-ass condoms in your drawer? These things must be like Tatooine dust by now.'_

"Give that to me!?"

'_For what? They're useless. When was the last time you got any? What was the special occasion? My man got his little' helmet' covers! All dressed up and no where to go!'_

Qui-Gon falls on the floor laughing.

"_Pxxxx Possibilities !"_

Mace laughs at Qui-Gon's joke

'_That's a good one, Qui-Gon! More like 'Pxxxx Impossibilities!' Oh, Man! Anakin. These need to go in the trash. Let me do the honors'_

Mace tosses the package into the waste receptacle

Another voice joins the conversation. The Force Ghost of Aayla Secura appears.

'_I knew you men had to be talking trash so I decided to wait. You're both disgusting.'_

Qui-Gon opens his arms for a hug.

'_Aayla, we were just talking about you.'_

Mace looks over at Qui-Gon with a disapproving glance.

'_Qui-Gon, that was crude, sexist and totally inappropriate.' _He turns to Aayla and kisses her on her cheek _'Hey Honey, what's up?'_

Qui-Gon coaxes her over to receive a hug

'_Hey, Baby, come over her to Uncle Qui-Gon and let me touch your tentacles.'_

'_You have to buy me a drink first. So, guys, what are we doing for the basket case over there?'_

Mace confides in her.

'_Oh, we just want you here for moral support.'_

Anakin looks up after finishing his 'dessert.' He decides to make a wisecrack

"Who are you, 'The Ghost of Jedi Past'?"

Aayla force-slaps Anakin.

"Owwwh!"

Mace starts laughing

'_Anakin, you better be quiet. __'Ghost of Jedi Past__' You're funny.' _Mace is serious now. _'Anakin are you going to ask this chick out or what?'_

Anakin looks at Aayla. She nods her head _'No'_ and points to the door.

"Oh. No….never."

Mace looks at him

'_Why? 'cause she laughed at you? Of course she laughed at you. You're funny as Hell!'_

"I don't think I'm good enough for her"

'_Well, here's the honest to goodness truth. Sometimes women have to lower their standards seeing that all the eligible bachelors were killed off, like my bro Qui-Gon and me. They have to settle for trifling sith lords like yourself.'_

Qui-Gon is sincere now.

'_Anakin, what's wrong?'_

"I think you know." His tone is sullen as he sets one of the snack bowls aside. He is no longer in the mood to eat. Qui-Gon feels sympathy for his former Padawan.

'_We think you should come out and say it. Set yourself free.'_

"I'm so depressed. I know I should be happy but I feel I'm missing something."

'_Anakin, you have two great kids. You ground your son every week and he still idolizes you. Leia loves you. How many daughters buy shirts for their fathers just because they love them? And it's a color that looks good on you. You won't have to pretend to like it. She didn't buy it expressly for this occasion. She wanted to do something nice for you. You could have worn whatever you wanted tonight but you decided to wear what she bought you.'_

Aayla smiles over at him as she sits at the foot of the bed.

'_You're not depressed. You're crashing from that Felucia high. You'll feel better by morning. You need to clean this bed first, it's disgusting_.'

"Why are all of you helping me? I've been terrible."

Mace grabs a chair and pulls it to the side of Anakin's bed.

'_I'm sorry, I'm not sitting on that bed. Force Ghost or no Force Ghost.'_

Qui-Gon and Aayla laugh. Mace continues.

'_Son, we're helping you because, despite your behaving like a little 'sith' in the past; we still consider you a brother, Anakin.'_

"You do?"

There is a knock on the door. It is Luke. He has heard the commotion for a couple of hours now and wanted to check up on his father.

"Is everything alright in here?"

Qui-Gon playfully waves Luke out of the doorway.

'_Go read your FHM magazines. We're busy here with adult stuff.'_

"Okay" Luke gets halfway down the hall before he realizes Qui-Gon has been in his room

"Hey! Keep out of my stuff!"

Qui-Gon laughs. He looks at Anakin.

'You have a teenage perv, you know that, don't you?'

"I know. But he's a cute little teenage perv'. And Qui-Gon? Stay out of his room. Geez!" He turns to Master Windu. "Mace, what were you saying, Master?"

Mace continues after giving Qui-Gon a glance. He can't believe Qui-Gon has been rifling through everybody's stuff, even Leia's top drawer left side, under lingerie, pink pouch with 30 tablets. Hmmmm…

'_Anakin, we do care about you, after all the stupid crap and scandalous 'sith,' we love you, man.'_

"I don't know what to say"

'_You said 'What' again.'_

"Oh.. sor-"

'_I'm just messing with you, man. Now get this bed cleaned up. You can't entertain the ladies in this Utapau. Give me a hug.'_

Anakin brushes the crumbs off his pants and stands at the side of the bed. Suddenly another voice is in the room. Master Ki-Adi-Mundi appears. He is out of breath. He sits on the bed on a bag of nachos. Everyone turns to look at him.

'_I'm here. What do you need? Oh, Hello, Anakin. Mace, you know he's Darth Vader now, right?'_

'_Ki-Adi, we don't need you now man.'_

'_But you said…'_

'_Three hours ago. You're late, now you can leave.'_

'_I was ghost number three, right?'_

Aayla gives Anakin a warm embrace as does Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon is laughing and whispers.

'_Spaz'_

Ki-Adi-Mundi turns to Qui-Gon.

'_What?'_

To be continued …. _"What the Hoth Happened to My Car?!_


	22. Chapter 22What The Hoth Happened to My C

_Chapter 22_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Breakfast at Anakin's'_

'_What the Hoth Happened to My Car?'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Morning

Anakin looks up from his pillow and blinks. He sees the clock on the night table. It reads 7:01 AM. The servants cleaned his room and placed new linens on the bed. He sits on the side of the bed and looks around thinking about the events from the night before:

_1. He missed dinner. Leia worked hard at coordinating this and he missed it._

_2. He remained holed up in his room eating bad food_

_3. Oh, and he was visited by three ghosts (four, counting the always 'late' Ki-Adi Mundi)_

Was this another one of his dreams? He stretches then puts on his robe. As he is about to leave the room he sees Qui-Gon sitting in the arm chair near the window reading one of Luke's FHM magazines. Anakin folds his arms across his chest and stares down at him. He is not amused. Qui-Gon looks up and smiles.

'_Hey Ani, Good morning. How are you feeling?'_

"I thought I told you to stay out of Luke's room"

'_Great articles in here. I thought it was just pictures but it's pretty good. There's a photo in here of two Twil'ek chicks mud wrestl---…. Anakin, calm down. The boy gave it to me. I didn't steal it. March issue. Sweet.'_

"Don't you have someplace to be in the heavens? I've never heard of a homeless ghost."

'_This is heaven right here'_ He points to the magazine.

Anakin rolls his eyes and smiles. He hadn't done the latter in a long time

"Thank you for last night. It was really good of all of you to be there for me. Enjoy yourself. Happy reading."

'_Anything for my favorite Padawan, Ani.'_

Anakin takes a shower. The water felt good. He felt a lot better than he had all week.

By the time he returns to his room his former mentor, master, friend, was gone.

He also had a few 'mea culpa' to do this morning. He wouldn't blame anyone if he was the most hated person in the galaxy right now. Well, he still had plenty of enemies after the damage he and Palpatine had caused all those years ago.

Breakfast was going to be served on the terrace. Unfortunately there were no diners to be seated.

Anakin thought perhaps everyone had slept late. God knows they were all up until pass midnight. Isabel's' old room was set up for her return. All their childhood holographs were dusted off and set up around the room. Memories of trips they took to museums and visits to Naboo to stay with Padmé's parents (He was never invited here).

Isabel was the closest thing they had to a mother. It was nice for the children to visit Tatooine to visit Beru and Lars and to Alderaan _(He never blew it up. He was only joking about that) _to visit godparents Bail and his wife, but it was Isabel who kept them grounded.

She was young and an over-achiever having graduated from Coruscant University with a PhD in clinical psychology and child management. She graduated at the age of 22 which made her the youngest clinical psychologist ever to receive a high priority case. Her first big assignment came early. It was truly a 'trial by fire' induction: The Skywalker twins.

Luke and Leia re-lived their early childhood all over last night when they gathered in Isabel's old room for a bedtime story. It was a Friday night tradition years ago. Luke and Leia took turns choosing a book. Tonight it was Leia's turn, _'Goldilocks and the Three Ewoks' . _Luke groaned at the _'literary selection.' _This was the only time Han could not have Leia's undivided attention. Just as the story time was to begin Han could not resist asking this question:

"Aren't you two a little old for fairytales and bedtime stories?"

Leia responds to the question, "It's tradition. Go find something to keep yourself busy for an hour."

Han looks at Isabel, "Are these the weirdest kids you have ever worked with?"

"No"

"I hope you were well compensated. Nice jammies, Junior. I'm going to leave the three of you. I'm starting to think of how many ways this scene looks so wrong right now."

Han did find a diversion however, talking to Threepio and Artoo of all things! It was actually quite entertaining chatting with the neurotic protocol droid, especially since he was a lot like his maker. A semi-sobered up Obi-Wan finally joined the conversation which only made the evening more bizarre. They get into a heated discussion with Obi-Wan while sitting on the moon lit terrace. Obi-Wan argues with Han.

"I'm telling you, Krypton was a nice place in the old days. I met Jor-El. Interesting man. He mumbled a lot though. Barely understood an 'effing' word he said."

"Yeah but there was a lot of trouble, no one wanted to make deliveries there because Jor-El and his gang took a 60 credit cut on all the profits. When his youngest son Mike-El took over things got worse. I had to deal with his idiot brother Fred-El. He thought he was smart but he was a little dumbass. Always claiming he didn't get the respect he deserved. He said he could run things but he was a horrible _Don_."

"Are we talking about the same family, Han? I don't recall Jor-El having more than one son. Ah, his name escapes me...oh wait...it was Kal-El. He left home after his mother found him going through her lingerie trying on her red pantyhose."

The morning after the dinner party, Anakin walked around the hall to a suite of bedrooms. He wanted to scan the area to make sure everyone was in his or her 'Own' bed and 'Alone.' Han had the guest room next door to another guestroom. Isabel's room was at the corner near Luke's and Leia's room. Obi-Wan had the guestroom at the end of the hall. It was like old times with the exception of a houseguest by the name of Han Solo. The house was quiet.

By 9:30 am Han, Leia and Isabel are dressed and head for the breakfast table.

Obi-Wan and Anakin have already arrived. They are heading for the table chatting.

"How are you feeling, Anakin?"

"Better, thanks. How about you, Master?"

"I feel great. Got a nice fresh glass of _vitamin 'C.'_ Life is good." Anakin sees Leia. He takes her aside.

"I want to apologize for missing dinner last night and ruining your evening. I'm feeling much better today. I don't know what came over me… I'm truly sorry."

Leia is cool to his apology. She grabs his chin so he is looking directly into her eyes as she speaks.

"I know what came over you. A bottle of Caamas and guilt. Dad, I understand more than you know. Trust me."

"You're still mad at me?"

"Let's just say you have a lot of confessing to do and a lot of apologizing. It's not just about me being humiliated, Daddy. And it's certainly not all about you! Other people have feelings you know. Normal feelings. Are you really feeling better after last night?"

"Well after what you've just said, I don't know any more. I'm starting to feel kinda crumby."

Leia punches Anakin in the stomach. He actually was not expecting this. He grabs his stomach and stares at her. He never _'saw'_ that one coming.

"Good. Here's a little extra to help you along. Let's return to the table. Everyone is waiting for us."

"Owww! What did you do that for??"

He pulls out a chair for Leia. He can't believe his daughter just sucker-punched him. That really hurt. She looks up at him sweetly. Before he takes his place at the table he makes an announcement:

"Good Morning, everyone. I'm really glad that you were all able to make it this weekend. Before we start, I want to apologize for my behaviour last night. I'm sure I'll be making my rounds on the apology circuit before the morning is over. Well, let's eat. I'm starved."

Obi-wan raises his glass containing a Champagne cocktail with a little extra 'kick'. He liked his _40 Proof vitamin 'C.' _

"Here, Here!"

Han whispers to Luke, "Does this old guy raise his glass to everything?"

"Only when he's had too much to drink." Vitamin C for Obi-Wan is a glass of Caamas and a splash of Felucia Orange Juice.

"And that would be when? I don't believe I've seen the old coot sober since we got here."

Luke smiles, "Obi-wan can be surprisingly vivid when the occasion dictates."

Han is serious now. "What your Dad's deal with Isabel? I haven't seen him speak to her once. I could see him not wanting to talk to me but she worked for him taking care of you and Leia. I don't think he's said two words to her all night."

"I was going to talk to him about that. Something is eating at him."

Anakin has a difficult time making eye contact with Isabel across the table. Obi-wan seems to be Force- talking with Anakin. Anakin appears to be annoyed by what Obi-Wan has to say.

After breakfast only Han Isabel and Luke are sitting at the table. Han is telling them about some of his adventures during smuggling runs. Suddenly Anakin returns to the table.

This is the first time all morning he even recognizes Isabel. He politely interrupts the conversation.

"Good morning. I hope everyone is having a good time."

Luke looks up at his father. "We're great, Dad. Want to join us?"

"Thanks. Not at this moment. Isabel, we haven't had a chance to chat. We must catch up."

"Of course. That would be nice."

Luke jumps in with a suggestion. "Han and I can go inside. I'm sure you'd like to reminisce."

"Well, actually I need to speak to Mr. Solo for a moment if you don't mind. Han, a moment please?"

"Ahh, sure."

"Follow me."

Han quickly looks at Luke. He makes a face behind Anakin's back. He then turns to Luke as he starts to follow Anakin inside. He jokingly places his hand around his own throat and pretends to be struggling. Luke smiles.

Anakin turns, just missing Han goofing off behind him. He points to Isabel.

"You're next."

Luke laughs. He leans in to whisper to Isabel.

"Well, he says you're next."

"For what? Is he going to choke me too?"

"Naaa! He likes you too much. Come on. You've got to admit, he's in a lot better shape than he was yesterday. He's like great piece of furniture with an old paint job. It's going to take awhile to remove all the layers to get to the beauty. My Dad's really a beautiful person once you tear off all the paint. You'll see."

Luke smiles sweetly and squeezes her hand.

_To be continued… 'C3PO Master Mechanic – I Refuse to Pay a Lot for this Muffler'_


	23. Chapter 23Smoke Gets In Your Eyes

_Chapter 23_

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- **

'_Smoke Gets In Your Eyes'_

"_What the Hoth Happened to My Car?!_

'_Threepio Master Mechanic – 'I Refuse To Pay a Lot for This Muffler'_

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Han follows Anakin into the study. Han walks in then looks out for witnesses in the immediate vicinity. He leaves the door open. As they reach the desk Anakin Force-closes the door. Han smiles and curses quietly

"Oh _'sith'_"…. Han looks at Anakin "Oh, yeah, I forgot. You've got that Force _'thing'_ going on. Smart move. So…Mr. 'V,' shall I have a seat or just jump out the window now?"

"I didn't bring you in here to hurt you, Han."

Han grins nervously.

"Listen, yeah…about that…I usually wind up in carbonite or on the business end of you fist.."

Now this is true! The Dark Lord is genuinely hurt by this remark. Anakin offers Han a seat.

"Sit down, Mr. Solo."

"Oh. Okay. So it's going to be like that? Just warn me now before you pull another mask off your face or if you have wings under that long cardigan you're wearing."

"Han, I'm hurt that you don't have more trust in me. I brought you in here to apologize for last night. I'm truly sorry I flew off the handle."

Han pretends to sneeze

"Aaah…_bullsith_!"

"Bless you."

Anakin opens a bottle of Mustafar Tequila. He offers Han a shot glass. He pours the amber liquid into glasses. Something billows from the top of the two glasses. It looks like smoke. Han gulps at the very thought of actually drinking the stuff.

"What are you giving me?"

"100 Proof Mustafar Tequila"

"No thanks. That stuff looks like ship fuel"

"I suppose…"

"Naaa. I'll pass."

"It's rude to refuse a drink from your host."

"On what planet?"

Anakin is exasperated by Han's stalling.

"Oh, Han! Try it. I promise you'll live."

"If you're doing this because I slept…"

"What?"

"Oh…nothing."

"Drink."

The two men raise glasses. He stares Han down waiting for the scruffy big mouth to take a sip. Han takes a deep breath then nervously drinks from the glass. He makes a horrifying face. He feels as if he is going to hurl before he even swallows. Anakin drinks the entire contents of his glass. Suddenly Han doesn't have the 'bad feeling' any more. He smiles.

"Hey…Not bad. You really know your liquor, _'Sybil'_"

"It's an acquired taste. Let's have another, shall we?"

"Sure!"

Anakin pours two more glasses. He has about six shot glasses lined up on the desk

"Like it, eh?"

"Yeah! We're going to have a mother of a hangover."

"You don't really get a hangover as much as it just numbs you below the waist."

"Huh? He laughs at Anakin's _'joke'_ and points to the Dark Lord. "Ahahahahaa! You're _'effing'_ with me, aren't you?"

"No." Anakin is grinning.

Han's wide grin turns into a frown. That 'bad feeling' was coming back. Han tries to stand. His legs are wobbly. He grabs hold of the desk. Han looks across the desk at Anakin who is calmly swinging in his chair smiling. Leia Force-shouts at Anakin.

"Daddy! What did you do???"

Just then Leia storms into the office and grabs Han. She is fuming. Anakin calmly smiles at his daughter.

"I just wanted to quiet his _'equipment'_ for awhile, daughter. Qui-Gon came across something very interesting last night in your room during my _'crisis'_."

"I hate you! Boy, you get evil after 18 years of celibacy."

"Watch your mouth young lady." He wags his finger at her then drinks from his shot glass.

"You don't deserve to be happy."

Han looks at Leia. He has a worried look on his face. His skin has lost its healthy glow.

"I can't feel my feet… or anything else..."

"It's okay, Han…it only lasts a few minutes. My father has a warped sense of humor."

"But he drank it too."

"It doesn't affect him"

"Oh, that _'Force'_ thing, eh?"

"Something like that. Let's get you some fresh air. It'll wear off." A sly smile creeps across her face as she turns to look at him on her way out the door. "Oh, Daddy, would you come down to the docking bay? There's something interesting you have to see concerning your speeder."

"What about it?"

He ignores her fore a moment. Suddenly, he bolts out of his chair and hurries down to the docking bay. The droids and Obi-Wan are already there. Leia and Han arrive. Han is still wobbly but the feeling returns to his lower extremities. Anakin walks over to his speeder. The entire right side is scraped. The paint job is ruined and it is tipping precariously on its side like a spinning top.

Meanwhile Luke and Isabel are sitting on the terrace talking when he hears his father's voice:

"Luke!!!!"

Luke and Isabel hurry down to the docking bay. Isabel manages to stay out of view and remains very quiet. Anakin looks over at his son pointing an accusing finger at him.

"_Explain"_

"What the 'Hoth' happened to your speeder? It's trashed! Wow! ….Wait a second. Are you accusing me of wrecking it? I'm grounded, remember? Dad, I never touched your speeder! Honest! Leia, tell him!"

Anakin gives Luke an accusing stare.

"I know you were driving."

Luke answers smugly and waves his hand.

"Semantics."

Luke was driving Leia's speeder yesterday to pick up Isabel. He was not driving the vehicle in question.

Han is feeling better.

"That's a _'sithload'_ of damage. It's been in this position all night?"

Luke nods his head.

"But I didn't do this! Honest, Dad! I can't believe this! The one time I'm innocent and I'm being found guilty."

Threepio taps Anakin on the shoulder as the Dark Lord examines the damage. Anakin is waiting to twist off the droid's head again.

"Excuse me, Master, Ani but Artoo here has a security recording of the bay. It plainly shows you getting out of the speeder after your…" He clears his throat. "_Ahem…_creative parking technique."

Han laughs.

"Busted. Oh, this is too sweet. Daddy 'V', the reckless drunk driver."

Leia watches the tape. She grins.

"Well, it sure does look like you, Dad. Look, that guy's wearing the same blue shirt I bought for you yesterday. What are the odds? Wow, his daughter must be really good to him." She is now serious. "I see you can manage to hold onto a bottle of whisky while you exit a wrecked speeder. At least the bottle came out unscathed. It's a good thing nobody got hurt."

Anakin turns to Leia.

"I wasn't driving."

Leia rolls her eyes.

"Oh, great! That's a good excuse to give the Galactic police…." She performs a mock scenario. Anakin is not as appreciative of her humor as the others. She is enjoying the moment. _'Oh, well, you see officer, I couldn't drive being that I was inebriated so I let the Force ghost of my former master sit in the driver's seat!' Daddy_, you're ridiculous!"

Han does an imitation of a galactic police officer. He uses his fist as a radio.

"License and registration. Keep your hands where we can see them….especially yours, sir. Lord Vader, do you know why we stopped you, sir? Sir?"

Anakin returns and icy glance at Han. Han stops.

Threepio points out the damage to the vehicle.

"Looks like there's some damage over here too…and over here near the tail lights…ooh, and here's a big dent on the bumper" He kicks it with his golden foot.

Artoo also points out the skid marks on the wall of the docking bay. He laughs at Threepio's remarks. Luke Laughs too.

"He's got you there, Dad! So, Dad, looks like you're grounded too! Looks as if we'll both be hitching rides for awhile." He slaps Anakin on the back of the head.

Anakin angrily squints at Luke. He uses the Force to flip the speeder back in place. He walks around to the check the damage. The vehicle looks as if it were crushed by a stampede of Tauntauns.

"It's not so bad."

Luke follows his father as the vehicle is examines for additional signs of damage.

"So, Dad, how will I get to your office Monday morning to continue my _'life sentence_'?"

Anakin turns to Luke.

"No more wisecracks, young man. You're not getting your speeder back."

Artoo is taking notes to store for the insurance claim. Threepio is still commenting on the damage.

"Tsk tsk tsk….some people shouldn't be allowed to have a license. Oh, look, Artoo, here's another dent over here on the driver's side! I'm getting pretty good at this I must say. It's like a game! This is so much fun Artoo. If it were up to me I would claim it stolen. He would get a lot more credits for it. Oh! Here's another."

Luke wanting to rub salt in the wound encourages Threepio. He points to more damaged areas.

"There's another dent, Threepio. This thing is jacked up. I've never messed up a speeder this bad before, have I?" He looks over at Anakin. Anakin points to Luke with a warning glance.

Threepio continues to speak.

"As a matter of fact, Master Luke, you have taken relatively good care of every vehicle you've ever driven. Good boy. You could show your father a thing or two. His insurance premiums will go through the intergalactic roof next year."

Leia urges the droid to move along. Luke starts complaining.

"How come there's no one to punish him? He's done more damage in two days than we've done in a month! He really pisses me off sometimes! When does he get punished?"

Leia rubs her brother's shoulder.

"That's why we're here, Luke. We're his punishment."

Anakin is about to rip Threepio apart until Artoo ejects an estimate of the overall damage. Threepio takes it. Anakin rips the estimate from the droids' hands.

Threepio continues speaking.

"You're welcome, sir." The droid cannot seem to help himself. He decides to keep talking. "Master Ani, with the credits you'll get from this, you could buy a new speeder, customized just like this one ….only better. I suppose it pays to be drunk and high sometimes…given your status and all…" Threepio looks down at his astromech friend. "Did he say,_ 'Thank you,' _Artoo? I didn't hear it. I'm so glad Mistress Isabel is back. Perhaps she will remind him of his manners."

Obi-Wan walks over to Anakin.

"Now Anakin, be reasonable. Give the boy another chance. It's true. He hasn't had an accident. Come on…You do need a lift to work on Monday. I truly believe that this horrific accident will make your relationship with your son that much stronger."

"Don't make me regret this, Obi-Wan. Luke, get over here."

"Yeah, Dad?"

Anakin hands Luke the security data card to release his blue jet speeder from the bay.

"Apparently your godfather thinks you deserve a second chance. I'm sorry I accused you of taking my speeder."

"Thanks, Dad."

"Luke, it's only until I get a new vehicle. Don't get too comfortable. You're still…"

"Grounded. Yeah, I know."

Anakin gives him _'the look'._

"Stop talking."

_To be continued… 'Only Friends Shake Hands'_


	24. Chapter 24Only Friends Shake Hands

_Chapter 24_

'_Weekend at Ani's'_

'_Sins of the Father'_

'_Only Friends Shake Hands'_

Early Afternoon Han and Leia offer to take Obi-Wan home. Obi-Wan stops by the solarium to speak to Isabel.

"Hello, Isabel. Great view isn't it?"

"I can't believe it's been ten years since I was last here. I used to love sitting out here. You're leaving early?"

"Yes, I have much to do. How are you?"

"I'm good."

"Isabel. Everything will be better. You know how stubborn he can be. He doesn't forgive easily." He wipes a tear from her cheek.

"I knew I shouldn't have come."

"Luke and Leia wanted you to be here. Anakin wanted you here. He's more afraid of facing you than you are of him."

"I see everyone is fleeing the house. Luke won't be back for awhile. I get the feeling I'm being left here on purpose." She manages to laugh, "Can I hitch a ride with you and Leia? My bag is almost packed."

"No. My dear, you have a different path to take than mine. I'm sure we'll see one another soon. We still have our lunch appointments with Master Luke. So, chin up. Be brave."

"Thank you, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan gives her a warm embrace and smiles before walking back to meet Leia but he has one more person to say goodbye to.

A few minutes later

Anakin has a discussion with his friend and former mentor in his study.

"You're not staying for dinner, Master?"

"No, Anakin. I have much to do before the coming week. I've got my own home to tend to," So now you're missing everyone?" Obi-Wan thought this was funny. The previous day Anakin just wanted everyone to leave. Today he wanted everyone to stay.

"Obi-Wan, I've been to your place. You could do better. Why don't you move in with us? I've got lots of space. You can continue to train Luke…get your social life back. I know how much you like to go to Dex's Diner."

Obi-Wan laughs.

"Anakin, you're the last one to talk about someone's social life. I'm doing quite well believe it or not. There's someone you need to talk to. You've been putting it off long enough. You only want me here to avoid the inevitable. Besides, there's nothing for me here until the Jedi Temple is restored and we establish a new order. That is why training Luke is so important. I think you still feel that way yourself."

Anakin lowers his head then looks back at his former master. He could not conceive that the Jedi Order would have him back. He made a big mess and he has been trying to repair the damage over the past 18 years. For now, this meant his children. They have been his crusade.

Had Isabel stayed, it would have been easier. Ten years ago since she left and after half a dozen nannies and social workers combined, Isabel was the one who left an enduring impression on the family.

She was willing to take the assignment when others wouldn't. Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader was blacklisted. Once it was discovered that his children were the ones in need of a nanny, the availability list dwindled. It was if the children were made to suffer for the sins of their father. Isabel was warned by the caseworkers and the court before she accepted the case. He had never met this ominous figure but she heard stories. Children aren't responsible for their parent's deeds. She thought if she couldn't handle this case, how would she be able to handle any case? The seal on her PhD. was barely dry when she accepted the assignment. She was very young but she wanted a challenge. The Skywalker children did not disappoint.

Life after Isabel was manageable but not nearly as much fun and not at all easy. Anakin was becoming sullen and quiet. The new 'series' of nannies couldn't deal with his moodiness.

Isabel did remember to send notes of congratulations for every scholastic achievement and a greeting with a small gift for the twins at each birthday. Birthday parties were fun when Luke and Leia would go to their rooms and each child opened the last gift of the day. The day she left was very hard on everyone. The Skywalkers hated change, especially Anakin.

Anakin had been angry with Isabel for ten years now. According to Luke, it was too long. Anakin didn't know this and perhaps he should have, but Luke had been seeing Isabel every year since he received his first airspeeder on his 15th birthday. This was one secret he had been able to hide from his father. Luke finally told Leia. Every week they would get together for lunch, sometimes Leia would join them. His meeting with her on the day he bought the flowers for Gladys was no coincidence. Anakin started to sense something in the past week but he refused to believe it. His behaviour in the last few days was an issue.

Obi-Wan stood, opened his arms and looked into the eyes of his former padawan. "Give us a hug."

It was comforting. "Remember what Qui-Gon said to you last night. 'Free yourself.' Learn to forgive."

"I'll try, Master."

"I hope Yoda doesn't hear you say that. You know better, Anakin. Don't try. Do."

"Yes, Master."

"Enjoy yourself. You deserve peace and happiness. You've come a long way. I'll see you soon. We'll be starting Jedi trials soon. You should be proud of Luke. He's going to make a great Jedi Knight."

"I owe it all to you, Obi-Wan."

"You have a great boy. I'm honored to be his godfather."

Leia pokes her head in the door.

"Uncle Ben, are you ready or do you two need more time?"

"I am ready, my dear. Anakin, thank you. This was the most amusing weekend I have ever experienced. May the Force be with you."

"Thank you, Master. May the force be with you."

"Oh, One more thing, Anakin."

"What's that Master?"

"Don't take away the only other honor I have."

"What's that, Master?"

"Leave the drinking to me." He winks.

Anakin smiles back at him blushing, "Yes, Master."

Leia smiles across the room at her father.

"Daddy, we'll be back late. There's plenty of food and I instructed the servants not to disturb you."

"Thank you, Leia. You and that scoundrel be careful out there."

He walks over and kisses his daughter. She cups his face in her hands. "I love you, Daddy. Have some courage. Talking won't kill you."

He gives her a long warm hug.

Anakin watches as Leia and Obi-Wan board the Falcon to take Obi-Wan home. Luke said he had some things to take care of but he would be back in time to take Isabel home.

Anakin sits in his study for several minutes. He needed to gather his thoughts before the next task at hand. During brunch he remembered what Obi-Wan had said to him while everyone was at the table. He knew he was being stubborn but finally it all sunk in.

Obi-Wan was disappointed in Anakin that morning. It was bad enough he had drowned his anger in drink the night before. He avoided the one person who he really didn't want to hurt. Anakin was good at hurting people he loved because of his irrational fears. Obi-Wan scolded Anakin as they sat at the breakfast table. Obi-Wan could surprise you how astute he could be even with a drink in his hand.

"_Anakin, talk to her. Don't make her leave this house without making peace with her."_

"_I'll do it in my own time, Obi-Wan."_

"_Anakin, you are being foolish and stubborn."_

"_Obi-Wan, I don't want to get into this with you."_

"_What happened 10 years ago was not her fault."_

"_Isn't it amazing you always seem to take her side?"_

"_There is no side, Anakin, just right and wrong. You are wrong."_

"_If you keep bothering me about this, I'll leave the table._

"_SIT DOWN, ANAKIN. You need to find a time to sit down with her and talk this out. Luke and Leia will never forgive you. Don't tear this family apart. Isabel helped you keep your children. You owe it to her to acknowledge her. Do it."_

"_I can't"_

"_I'll not visit you ever again if you don't. Think of Luke and Leia. "_

Anakin thought about this conversation all morning. Finally he managed to get up from the desk. He takes a deep breath.

'_The Ice Is Melting'_

Isabel was packing the last of her belongings. She hadn't planned to stay last night but prepared an overnight bag anyway. She was ready to leave. She was resigned to the fact that Anakin was not going to speak to her. She was praying that Luke would hurry back so she could go home.

"Hello."

Anakin appears in the doorway of her former room. He knocks even though the door is open. She looks up.

"Hello"

"Luke won't be back for awhile. Uhm, Can I see you for a minute? You can finish packing later."

"Sure."

Isabel follows him to his study. He closes the door and pulls a chair out for her. She sits. Anakin scratches his head then turns to face her. He is leaning against the front of the desk

"So, how's work?"

"Good. Thanks. How's your job?"

"This isn't about my job. Were the other families nicer?"

"They were fine. I don't do that anymore. I'm a consultant now. Anakin, it wasn't like that at all. I loved Luke and Leia. I still do. I treated them as if they were my own. If I made one mistake in my career that was one of them but I would do it again because they needed me."

"Then why the _'eff' _did you leave? They were just babies! You can't do that to a child after raising them for two years! That's what you were doing."

"No, Anakin that was your job. I wasn't supposed to be there forever. You were doing a good job. It was time for me to leave anyway. I was there to supervise you, Anakin. I was supposed to submit my findings to family court and recommend that to retain custody. Everyone agreed you were ready. I knew you could do it on your own"

"I didn't want to. You work for respectable employers now, right; not anyone with my reputation. Isn't that how your father put it?"

"What does my father have to do with this?"

"I went to your house."

"What do you mean you went to my house?"

"I went to your house. Your father answered the door. When I told him who I was he was furious.

Did you know one of his clients is Ruwee Naberrie, Padmé's father?"

Nakai Nor had a small watercraft business on Naboo. He was the main gondola speeder builder in the area. One of his clients happened to be Ruwee Naberrie. Neither man realized their paths would cross in a way that would affect them deeply. During casual conversation at a meeting to discuss a new building contract the two men discussed family. When Nakai mentioned that he had a daughter who was working on Coruscant caring for a set of twins, the rest fell into place. Ruwee's blood ran cold and Nakai was speechless. Ruwee decided to 'inform' his acquaintance about the children's father.

On that fateful day when Anakin showed up unannounced at the Nor home, Nakai was furious. He immediately demanded that Anakin leave. A week later, Isabel was packing her bags and leaving the Skywalker residence.

"Anakin, I didn't know. I didn't leave because of you. I was reassigned. But now it makes sense. I get paid a lot of money to do virtually nothing. I may as well have been fired. Anakin, my father never mentioned you to me."

"I feel so stupid! I have been angry with you for all these years."

"Anakin, you got me fired!"

"And your father hates me."

Suddenly Isabel laughs. Anakin doesn't get the humor in her being fired.

"Anakin, you're a dumbass"

He is at a loss for words. Isabel stands. She extends her hand to him.

"Let's put this behind us. Friends?"

"What?" He looks down at her hand. "No. No…I don't want to be your friend. Come here. Isabel, I missed you so much. I'm so sorry. I am a stupid man."

Anakin leans over and kisses her. He is lost in the moment as they embrace when he sees something in the corner of his eye. He is NOT happy.

"Ouch! Ouch! You bit my lip! You bit me!" Isabel touches her mouth and backs away.

"Wha-oh...I'm so sorry. Oooh, I did. Let me get you some ice. Come with me."

He makes her lie on the sofa. He places an ice pack to her mouth.

"Better?"

"Yesh"

"Oh, Don't talk. Will you excuse me for a moment?"

Anakin storms into the study.

"Qui-Gon!"

The Force-ghost appears. He is grinning.

'_Anakin, you dog, you! That wasn't a bad first try but can I give you a tip? Try not to bite the chick when you kiss her unless she's into that sort of thing. You know what I mean?'_ He winks and points a 'finger pistol' at Anakin.

"If you weren't dead I'd kill you all over again."

'_Anakin, remember, anger leads to the dark side.'_

Anakin is pacing the room breathing heavily. He is angry at Qui-Gon and embarrassed. He covers his face. Qui-Gon suddenly feels bad.

'_Awww, Ani, don't cry…I'm sure you'll do better next time. Ani?'_

Anakin is laughing. He finally catches his breath

"I'm out of practice."

'_You think? Pace yourself, Ani. Don't bruise her up before you get to the good stuff'_

"I won't"

'_Oh, Ani, you've got to check out her overnight bag. The underwear is spectacular.'_

"Qui-Gon?"

'_Yeah, Ani?'_

"GET OUT!"

To be continued…_'Was it something She Said?'_


	25. Chapter 25Was It Something She Said

_Chapter 25_

**---------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Was It Something She Said?'_

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Luke is the first to return to the house. The house is quiet. Luke closes the door.

"Dad????"

Anakin rushes out of the study. He is signaling Luke to be quiet and points to the sofa. He sees that it is Isabel.

"What? Oh. Isabel??? Why is she sleeping?"

Isabel responds:

"um nut sheeping"

"Isabel? Dad! Why does she have a cold pack on her face??"

"She had a little accident."

"What kind of accident?"

"Her lip got cut."

"How did she do that?"

"I said it was an accident." Anakin is becoming annoyed by Luke's questions.

Luke kneels in front of her to check _'the damage'_ He knows his father had something to do with it. He continues his interrogation. He knows when the truth comes out that Anakin's name will be written all over it. '_Damn! Can't leave Dad alone with a woman for ten minutes!'_

"Isabel, point to the person who did this."

Isabel points in Anakin's direction. Luke gives his father a dirty look.

"You hit her??? I said 'talk' to her Dad, not clean her clock! Oh, Dad!" He takes her hand in his, "Isabel, I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

"Yesh"

"Wow, It's swollen"

Anakin switches cold packs

"Tell me something I don't know, Luke."

"Isabel, Why don't you wait and go home tomorrow"

"Ish anli uh sholen liph"

"What?"

Threepio interrupts. "She says, Master Luke, that it's only a swollen lip!"

"All bef fine"

"She say's '_I'll be fine_."

"Thank you, Threepio"

"You're quite welcome, Master Luke That was fun. I've just picked up a new language."

Leia returns with Han earlier than expected. Anakin and Luke have been giving Isabel liquids to drink through a straw.. Han walks through the door. When they go into the living room they notice someone on the sofa. Han points.

"What now? Did_ 'Snow White' _have a relapse?"

Leia gets closer and sees it is Isabel. "Daddy, What did you do??"

"Will you calm down?"

Han gets a closer look, "Who busted your lip?" He turns an accusing glance towards Anakin.

She points to Anakin.

Han walks over to Anakin then backs away far enough out of the dark Lord's reach.

"I should have known. What did she say, something you didn't like?"

Anakin is too embarrassed to explain what really happened. He does, however, give Han a warning. He points his finger at Han.

"Han, if you lay your fat head on her chest I'll beat you with this ice pack"

"Calm down, Bam-Bam. You're really wound too tight, you know that, don't you? Leia, I warned you not to leave him alone with her. You wouldn't listen to me. See what happened? "

Dinner is being served. Isabel joins them at the table. She sits at the table sipping pureed soup through a straw.

After dinner Anakin is getting another ice pack from the kitchen. Leia follows him. She had witnessed her father holding hands with Isabel at the table.

"Daddy,"

"Yes, Leia?

"What really happened to Isabel's lip?"

"If I tell you you'll laugh at me."

"I promise I won't if you tell me something else."

"What's that?"

"Did you two work out your problems?"

"We're getting there."

"You look happier this evening."

"I am."

"So, what happened?"

"We kissed."

"What happened??"

"Qui-Gon."

"That explains everything. Congratulations, stud." Leia gives him a kiss on the cheek. "Dad, I love you but you're such a spaz. Don't kiss me back, Dad. I'm good. And don't stay up too late."

Anakin finds Isabel on the balcony. He takes her by the hand. "Nice evening. How are you feeling? I mean, aside from the swollen lip?"

"Better."

"Let me have a look."

"No. I look terrible"

"You'll always look beautiful to me. Let's have a look." He examines her lip. The swelling has gone down but it is replaced by a black and blue mark. She is embarrassed. He makes a face indicating to Isabel that it is not at all pretty. "Keep that pack on it until morning"

Isabel is insulted.

"Thanks"

"I know I'm clumsy and I have been stupid for the past nine years or so, but I'm trying. I hope you know that. Be patient with me. So, you want to go out sometime?"

"Only if you don't mind dating a chick with a busted lip."

"I don't mind at all." He leans in to kiss her. She backs away and gives him her hand instead.

"No teeth."

"As you wish, Milady." He gently kisses her hand. He walks her to her room.

"Thanks for walking me to my room."

"You know, these halls can be dangerous. An attractive lady needs a good escort."

"Thanks. So, I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

Anakin stalls waiting to be invited in, "I don't believe I've ever set foot in this room."

"It's just a room. Well, Goodnight, Anakin."

"Oh. Okay …uhm…Goodnight." He smiles as she slowly closes the door.

He is left in the hallway. As he turns to head back to his room he sees Luke heading to his own room. He is in his pajamas and is holding a mug of blue milk. He smiles at his father.

"Real smooth, Dad."

"I was just..uhm..checking….Oh go to bed!"

Luke giggles and enters his room.

Isabel prepares to spend another night in her former room. She moves her overnight bag from the foot of the bed. Her lingerie is hanging out of the bag. She remembers packing it neatly at the bottom. She is too tired to figure it out. She gets dressed for bed.

There is another presence in the room.

"_OMFG!"_

Anakin is in his room. He feels a great disturbance in the Force. He is not happy.

"Qui Gon, get the _'eff'_ out of her room now!!!"

_To be continued… '365 positions across the Galaxy 101'_


	26. Chapter 26 365 Positions Across the Gal

_Chapter 26_

**--- -- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_365 Positions Across the Galaxy 101'_

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_**Sunday Morning**_

Anakin didn't get much rest last night. It took two cold showers so he could manage at least four hours of sleep. It didn't help matters that a lecherous Force ghost had seen more of Isabel in one night than he had when she was living at the house all those years ago. It was insulting! It was downright unfair! And let's not get started about his daughter! She was getting defiled by that wisecracking pedophile in the guestroom …He had better be in that guestroom! This is not how things are supposed to happen!

Anakin stayed in bed late that morning. He didn't want to face his children only to be ridiculed for his botched _'first kiss'_ with a woman he secretly loved all those years. He was tempted to 'hide out in his room all morning and have one of the servants bring him breakfast. Why is this so hard? He lifts the sheet for a second then releases a heavy sigh.

He would eventually roll out of bed at half past ten. He took another shower then decided he would get dressed and give it another try with Isabel._ "An attractive lady needs a good escort." Oh, Pzob! What a lousy pick-up line. Isabel must think I am an idiot!'_

He checks his closet for a pair of shoes he could wear in the house. His six pairs of jack boots simply would not do, besides, they were verboten as acceptable footwear in the Skywalker home. Leia's rules!

He settles for a pair of brown nuna skin slippers. They were a birthday gift from Leia. She couldn't possibly ride his ass about wearing these around the house! They were elegantly crafted. Leia had molds made of her father's feet so any new orders could be constructed in a matter of weeks. They felt good as he sat on the upholstered bench in his walk-in closet. Leia designed this too.

She was amazing with the home remodeling details. She felt the remodeling was long overdue. Her father had become sullen and depressed after Padmé died and then sullen after Isabel's departure. The house reminded him of her.

At the age of twelve, Leia hired a contractor to do a total makeover. Anakin had been away on_ Raxus Prime_ to supervise the reprogramming of the communications station. He had been away four months. When he returned home his was livid. Leia convinced him it was for his own good. They needed a clean start. It was the first of many after Isabel's untimely departure. 'Change is good,' his daughter assured him. It was. He grew to like it.

Anakin opens the door to his bedroom. Ironically the sleeping area of the Skywalker home was divided into two separate wings in the form of a 'V'. No one recalls if this was intentional or just a coincidental design detail during the reconstruction. The new shape separated Anakin from the children's rooms and guest suites but gave Anakin a view if everyone coming and going from the other side, including smart-alecky commodity smugglers and rebellious young daughters.

There was a package on the floor outside his room. Someone had placed it there during the night or early hours of the morning. It is bound with a wide red grosgrain ribbon with a note attached:

'_This helped us, and we think you will find great value in it as well._

_Your loving children'_

_L&L_

_He let the ribbon drape over his thumb and forefinger as he read the titles"_

"_**What Children Need to Know About Sex and When to Tell Them"**_

"_**What's Going On Down There?- Answers To Questions Boys Find Hard To Ask"**_

"_**Where Did I come From?" [In Anakin's case, this was an issue still up for debate**_

"_**What's the Big Secret: Talking about Sex with Boys & Girls"**_

_**"Daily Sex: 365 positions across the Galaxy"**_

_**"The Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex"**_

_**"Be the Best in Bed"**_

The latter three were never part of the children's home library of reference books but a obviously a recent addition, made courtesy of that wiseass, cradle-robbing, nerfhurding, know-it-all SOB boyfriend of his recently deflowered daughter.

"_Very funny. Let them have their laughs. Luke better not get used to having that speeder being out of the docking bay for long. And Leia is a prime candidate for a chastity belt. He had to look into this one to find out if there was a locksmith who still made them. Then there's that …….Ooooooh! I could just reach out and choke him now!"_

Anakin went back inside his room, kicked the door shut with the heel of his foot, and sat in his armchair near the window. The morning light was great for reading fine print.

To be continued……Next chapter:_ 'Good Morning, Cosmic Comics'_


	27. Chapter 27Good Morning Cosmic Comics

_Chapter 27_

**------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Good Morning, Cosmic Comics'_

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Breakfast is served on the terrace again. It is ten o'clock now. Beautiful fluffy pink and azure clouds drift pass the Sunday morning skies of Coruscant. One cloud after another greets the sun then moving on to take a position in the heavens. The twins and Han are starting without Anakin and Isabel. They are laughing. Threepio scolds them.

"I simply cannot find the humor in it, Master Luke. You know your father doesn't like being ridiculed. I find it hurtful. Doesn't anyone care about me???"

"Of course we do, Threepio."

"I just think you are insensitive to his dilemma concerning Miss Isabel."

"But we love Isabel."

"And so does your father. Give him a chance."

Han chimes in, "Listen, Goldenrod, this is our entertainment. Since his _Royal Horniness_ is getting all hot and bothered, we feel it's our duty to see how long he fumbles before making a touchdown."

Han grins across the table at Leia as he starts to eat. "Leia, I can't believe he is thinking of dating her. He's not even in her league. She's an intellectual; he's a maniac sith lord. She's nice. He's an ornery basket case. A match made in Heaven? I don't think so."

"Han, I'm having as much fun as you are watching him fumble his way through this but I love them both. She's going to bring out the good in him, I know it."

Han contemplates for a moment.

"It is kind of sweet watching him try to mack on her. I'm sure she thought it was real hot to be bitten on the mouth by _'Count Chocula.'_ He gave her that hot Tion Medon soul kiss! What woman would refuse that?!"

Everyone at the table laughs. Luke is laughing especially loud. He was unaware that his beloved air speeder was about to slip through his fingers. Damn, Daddy can hold a grudge. Isabel knows a lot about this.

Anakin walks out onto the terrace. He knows they have been talking about him and he hears that smartass Han Solo's last remark. Anakin can be seen approaching the breakfast area, _"Here's Nosferatu now." _This is what got Luke howling with laughter. Why did Leia tell him? Some things should stay in the family. Solo was '_not'_ family. Not if Anakin had anything to say about it.

Leia casually looks up from the table at her father. She smiles her sweet, _'I love you Daddy/You are such a spaz'_ smile.

"Good morning, Dad."

"Good morning."

Luke senses he is in deep hot bantha crap after laughing at his father's expense. He butters a slice of toast and gives his father his best,_ 'I'm still your favorite boy, aren't I? Please don't take my speeder'_ smile.

"Good morning, Dad. Sleep well last night?"

Han gives his flippant two-finger salute as he watches the 'Commander-in-Sith' take his place at the family table. "Hey, Mr. 'V,' how's it hanging?"

"Mr. Solo, if you're going to sit at my table please don't slouch. It's bad for your health and not very respectful towards me."

Han sits up straight. "Yes, Sir."

The servants place a plate of food on the table for Anakin. As he glides his knife through the two duck eggs on his plate, he directs his next comment towards his son.

"Luke, comedy isn't your forte. You'd be well-advised to concentrate your energies and talent to your Jedi training. And by the way, don't give me that line about studying for the bar. I knew that was a bunch of bantha fodder the moment I heard it."

"Yes, Father." Luke's voice is quiet and respectful. He looks over at the doorway. "Isabel's taking a long time to come down. I think something's wrong. I'm going to go check on her."

"Sit down, Luke. I'll go. This is my responsibility."

Luke sits. He watches as his father leaves the table.

Isabel has been sitting at the vanity table in her room for an hour. The swelling on her lip has disappeared and the black and blue mark was beginning to fade but not quickly enough for her satisfaction. She applied some concealer on the spot but she knew the mark was still there.

"Good morning."

Anakin is standing in her door. He watches as she looks ruefully in the mirror. She had been crying.

She quickly tries to wipe the tears from her face. Anakin walks in. He doesn't wait for an invitation.

Isabel sees him walking towards her.

"What are you doing in here?"

"My house." He loves to make this statement. He thought it was hilarious. Anakin has always had a dry sense of humor. "You didn't join us for breakfast."

"I'm not hungry."

He stands behind her as she remains sitting at the vanity table with her head in her hands.

"Why are you hiding?"

"I look terrible"

He leans over her shoulder and looks in her mirror. He grabs a tissue and begins to wipe away the concealer near her lip.

"You know, you don't need to do this. Why are you hiding my handiwork? I'm kind of fond of that bruise. Remember when we first met? I was interviewing you. The scar on my face was a lot bigger than this bruise. You didn't flinch once when you looked at me. I knew you were the person I wanted around my children." He sees a bottle on the table next to the tube of concealer. "What's this crap?! It looks expensive."

"Make-Up remover."

He removes the cap and smells it. He pours some on the tissue and removes the rest of the concealer residue on her face. "You don't need make-up. You're already beautiful. See?? There you go. All better."

He wipes his hands then slips his arms around her waist. He plants a soft kiss on her cheek and smoothes her hair.

"Let's stop looking in this mirror or else you'll become a neurotic like me. Come on. I want to show you something. You'll love it." He Force-slams the bedroom door closed.

Breakfast is over. Han and Leia are relaxing on the chaise in the solarium. Luke is not far away looking out over the morning sky of Coruscant. Leia taps Han on the shoulder to alert him she is getting up. She walks over to Luke. She gently rubs his back and whispers to him.

"Hey, you should be happy."

"I know."

"You need a hug."

The twins look out over the city. There is a soft wind blowing.

And back in Isabel's former room, Anakin is curled up on the bed with her surrounded by several plush decorative pillows as he turns the pages to the book. He can smell the sweet scent of Endor freesia in her hair.

He is reading: _**"Where Did I Come From?" **_The nuna skin slippers felt great on his feet.

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

To be continued……._ "An unexpected Ally"_


	28. Chapter 28 An Unexpected Ally

_Chapter 28 _

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_An Unexpected Ally'_

'_The learning Curve'_

'_Trust'_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Han is preparing to leave the Skywalker home after witnessing the most bizarre weekend ever. He sets his overnight bag at the front door.

The family and their guests had just ended a late lunch. Leia and Isabel are chatting over cups of Yavin tea in the solarium.

Han knocks on the door of Anakin's study. Anakin looks up from his data pad.

"Yes, Solo?"

"I'm getting ready to leave soon. I just wanted to thank you for allowing me in your home."

"My daughter allowed you in my home. Let's get that straight right now. So, what can I do for you? I'm clean out of daughters so what else do you want?"

"I wanted to congratulate you on, well…"

Anakin is losing patience. He waits for Han to cut to the chase. Anakin returns his attention to whatever he's doing on that data pad he loves so much.

"I'm listening. Move it along."

"Isabel is great. She beautiful…"

"She's not available either, Mr. Solo, let's not be greedy."

"Sir, I think she's perfect for you. I'm truly happy for you guys. . And if I should be so bold as to make a suggestion? You need to step it up with the smooth talk. Chicks love that _'sith'. You need to go someplace romantic and get a bottle of champagne, dim the lights…."_

Anakin is becoming agitated. He doesn't want to hear anymore from the 'Velvet Jones Book of Love'.

Listening make him think of stuff he doesn't want to hear about, like his daughter being seduced by some guy with mirrors above his bed and make-out music playing in the background. This was just too much information. He starts waving his hands above his head.

"Han…is there a point to all your rambling?"

"Oh, well, I just want to say that you should just be cool. It's clear the chick digs you. You're still looking good for a father of two teens. You got a young babe, that's cool. How old is she, 29? You're the man! We have something in common, if you met Isabel when she was 18 years old, you would have been somewhere around my age! Imagine that! Weird, ain't it?"

Anakin stands. He steps away from the desk. Han is thinking: _"This man is going to kill me."_

Han watches as Anakin walks around the desk and places his arm around Han's shoulder.

"Mr. Solo, would you do me a favor?"

"Uhm…sure_." _Han gulps.

"Take Isabel home. I need to talk to my son."

"Oh. I understand."

"Thanks, Han. That's really good of you. I appreciate it. Don't make me regret this."

"Oh, I won't sir."

"Good."

"Oh, Mr.' V,' …I mean, Mr. Skywalker?"

"Yes, Mr. Solo?"

"I just want to apologize for goofing on you while you were out cold on the sofa the other night."

"What? Oh, that. I was out cold, I didn't hear a thing."

"Oh."

'Thanks again, Han."

You're really a cool guy. I admire you. I do."

"I appreciate that, Han."

The two men leave the study. Anakin goes to Isabel's room to get her bag. He looks around to see if anyone is coming. He closes the door but it is still ajar. He starts to look inside the bag like a child sneaking a look at his birthday gifts a day before the event. He smiles.

"So, what were you going to show me?"

'_Check out the 'Midnight Special' number. That lace is a work of art, Anakin. This chick's got the hots for sexy lingerie. Go on, touch it. It comes in a set.'_

"Qui-Gon, you've seen every piece of lingerie she has in this bag?"

'_Straight up!'_

"What's this pink one?"

'_Oh, you're going to go 'sith crazy' when you see this one. '34C'. Soft, right? It's got a triple clip so you better know how to unhook them to release 'the girls.' Try it. Feels nice, hey?'_

Anakin holds the pink lace bra up and examines the hooks. Qui-Gon was right on the money. Three clips to unhook. Anakin is smiling ear to ear.

Another voice enters the conversation:

'_Anakin, you better be careful.'_

"Why? No one's around, Mace"

Mace sits in a chair across the room.

'_You two are doing some scandalous 'sith'! And Qui-Gon, you don't care whose stuff you get into.'_

Qui-Gon smiles.

'_He's gotta get some practice. He may be called up for 'active duty 'any day now.'_

Mace watches Anakin and Qui-Gon rifling through the bag.

'_So, Anakin, what kind of moves are you going to put on this lady? Because what I've been witnessing the past couple of days has been downright pathetic. She's not going to drop her panties because you said her hair smells nice.'_

Qui-Gon interjects:

'_She's __not__??'_

Mace looks over at Qui-Gon

'_Hell No! You've got to romance the lady, take her out to dinner… and go to the theatre…'sith' like that.'_

Qui-Gon half-heartedly nods in agreement.

'_Well, I suppose…but Anakin, don't take her to see 'Squid Lake' that was a lame performance. It really sucked. Mon Calamari…the worse composition in the galaxy.'_

Mace nods in the affirmative.

'_Yeah, that performance was a rip-off. She won't want to see that boring 'sith' and don't take her to Dex's Diner. You've got to spend some serious credits on this woman. Then, when you get her alone, you can tell her how you feel and, she already knows how sensitive you are. You've been whining like a bitch all weekend.' _Mace laughs.

Qui-Gon grins in agreement.

'_That's true.'_

Anakin is listening intently to both ghosts

Leia and Isabel finish their chat. Isabel excuses herself and finds Luke. He is speaking to Han. Isabel takes him aside near the balcony.

"Luke, are we still good?"

"Sure."

"Luke, I adore you, you know that."

"So, my father made up with you."

"Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Yes. I just thought…I don't know."

He is too embarrassed to face her. The reality hits him. Isabel wants to clear the air.

"Are we still friends? Luke, when I asked you three years ago, you told me your father knew about our lunch meetings. Obi-Wan was sitting with us. You've been keeping this a secret all this time? I wish you hadn't. Had your father agreed to speak to me, I would have told him myself. Luke, don't let this come between us. I've had enough awkward moments with your father. I don't want to start the cycle over with you. You're a wonderful young man. You're destined for great things. You're going to meet a lot of girls. Hey, I heard about your escapades on Bespin. You're a heartbreaker. So, are we okay?"

"Yes, of course. I'm happy for you and Dad, really. I'm sure I'll be seeing you more."

"There's a good chance of that." They laugh. "So, Are we all meeting on Wednesday for lunch?"

"Yes, after my training with Obi-Wan."

"Okay. Come on. Big hug."

Luke and Isabel embrace.

Meanwhile, back in Isabel's room, Anakin and his Force-Ghost _'Dating advisors' _are still discussing the finer points of dating. Mace is speaking..

'…_She's going to think you are so smooth. The next thing….'_

Qui-Gon keeps interrupting.

'_The pants come off???'_

Mace is annoyed with him now.

'_No! Why are you so obsessed with this??? What is your problem?'_

'_I want to know.'_

'_Why? You got a date??'_

'_No.'_

'_And you know why? You're a ghost!' _Mace continues with Anakin. _'Anyway, Anakin, you get some smooth music going, nothing too weird and none of that sucky lounge stuff you hear in Mos Eisley. The champagne on ice and a nice sofa….'_

"I've got all that." Anakin finds the black lace matching bikinis and shows Qui-Gon that he has located them. He then looks at Mace. "Then what, Master?"

'_Get a couple of drinks in her first. Nothing's happening until you get at least two drinks in her. Then you tell her all this romantic 'sith' and BAM!'_

Qui-Gon smiles and wrings his hands in jubilation.

'_Wow! Dropping panties for Ani! You're the man!!!'_

Anakin smiles as he plays with one of the bras and practices unhooking it.

"I'm the man! Alright! Sweet."

"Anakin? What are you doing?"

Anakin is startled. He turns and sees Isabel. All of her lingerie is on the bed. The _'practice bra'_ is hooked around his neck like a necklace. His face is beet red. Mace and Qui-Gon are gone.

"Uhm…Oh…hi…I ah….Your bag fell and I was trying to put it back…uh…I can explain."

She is almost amused.

"No…no...I don't think you can. What's wrong with you Skywalker men?"

"I don't know."

She starts to repack her bag. Anakin stands there with a dumb expression on his face. She holds out her hand. He is embarrassed as he fumbles to unhook the bra. He is so nervous he becomes frustrated and pulls it over his head almost strangling himself. That would have been embarrassing.He hands it to her.

"Excuse me"

He walks out slapping himself in the head.

"I am such an idiot."

_**- 'Trust' -**_

Anakin stops by Luke's room. He knocks.

"Come in, Dad."

"Did you talk to Isabel?"

"Yes."

"Are we all good?"

"Of course."

"You know she probably will be coming over on occasion."

"I know. I'm okay with it, really."

"Follow me to my study."

They enter his study. He closes the door. He hands Luke an envelope. Inside is a voucher for 1700 credits.

"But, Dad, you said…"

"Let's start a clean slate. Oh, I'll need the security data card for the speeder."

"But, Dad! Yesterday you said I could----"

"I'm giving you a new one with an unlimited release setting."

"Oh."

He hands his father the old card and takes the new card.

"I figured you'll need to get around meeting your friends or if you have a date…. Just in case."

"Thank you, Dad."

"You're welcome, son."

"I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, Luke."

Anakin hugs his son and kisses his face.

They leave the study. Han is carrying Isabel's bag, He kisses Leia. Luke and the droids say goodbye to Han and Isabel. Luke smiles and gives Isabel another embrace. Isabel squeezes his hand.

"Thanks for the first aid."

"You look a lot better than yesterday."

Anakin walks over to Han and shakes his hand.

"It was a pleasure to have you over, Han. I'm sure I'll see you again soon."

"Thank you, Sir. You've been a wonderful host"

Anakin pulls Han closer and hugs him. The two men laugh.

"Thank you for your advice. It was very enlightening."

"Really?"

"Oh, Yes."

Leia walks Han to the docking bay. Anakin takes Isabel aside.

"Are you sure you don't want me to explain what you saw in the bedroom?

"No, Anakin. Anything you would have to tell me would just be too much information... You love digging holes for yourself."

"Does this mean you still want to go out with me?"

"I must be a glutton for punishment but, yes, I would like that very much."

Anakin kisses her then watches her go aboard with Han.

Meanwhile Qui-Gon and Mace are looking around in a room across town. Qui-Gon points to the ceiling.

'_Anakin's going to have a space slug when he sees this, Mace'_

'_Let's get out of here! I hate it when you drag me on these expeditions of yours. Han Solo's going to be home after he drops off Isabel. Are you gonna tell Anakin about the mirrors on Leia's boyfriends' ceiling?'_

'Well, not intentionally…'

'_Just when he was starting to like the guy too. Anakin's going to lose his mind.'_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

To be continued…


	29. Chapter 29 Green Eyed She Devil

_Chapter 29_

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Green-Eyed Devil'_

'_I'll Tell My Daddy on you'_

'_You Bet Your Life'_

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - ----------------------------------------**

_It is Monday. _After a dysfunctional family weekend, Luke was glad to return to his Jedi training and part-time internship.

So far his day was going well. He was recovering from the aftermath of his 'chat' with his father over his longtime boyhood crush on Isabel. His father would finally placate him by releasing the speeder and paying off his 1700 credit debt (sort of). Luke would still need to intern but his father replaced the money into Palpatine's account. He also gave Luke a 1700 credit voucher as spending money. He still wanted Luke to learn a lesson but he couldn't stand to see him hurting with no social life. He wanted Luke to find a diversion.

In time, he would get over Isabel. Anakin wanted to nip this in the bud before things got ugly. Obi-Wan tried to warn him, so did Leia. Even that cradle-robbing smuggler tried to toss a few hints his way! He finally saw it in his son's eyes. Sometimes Anakin could be as dumb as a box of rocks when it came to matters of the heart.

Luke was ready to start fresh. He was busy running errands for his father. He was walking through the hall after delivering some data to Admiral Piett. Things started off well until he hears the voice of sheer evil:

"Hey, Luki-Lu!!!"

Luke cringes. The hairs on the back of his neck all the way down to his Padawan braid bristled. He hated being called that. Especially from,_ 'the creature.' _To add insult to injury, he had to endure the indignity of being flicked in the head. _'How dare this 'spawn of Thrawn' touch him!'_

Luke mustered up all of strength from his Jedi teachings not to punch this Red Devil in the face.

Luke curses under his breath then turns to face the demon. In his best monotone voice he responds to his nemesis:

"Hi, Mara, how are you?" What he really wanted to say was: '_Hello, you green-eyed Medusa'_

It was that trouble-maker, know-it-all, green-eyed red-haired she-devil Mara Jade. Ten times more annoying than Leia, she was the bane of Luke's existence. As his grade school tormenter, she would flick sith-lightening balls at him from across the classroom. They were harmless but stung like a Mustafar Lava Beetle bite. At least they weren't the dark lightening balls. He was fortunate enough that the 'really bad kids' used those.All the_ 'bad-seed' _kids went to the_ 'Coruscant Reform School' _across town.Needless to say, these_ 'Special Ed'_ kids were never reformed.

Luke would come home from school crying. Anakin marched to the school one day to express his concern to the Headmaster. There was a meeting. Anakin Force-chokes Mara's father in the school parking bay. Mr. Jade was fine. It was just enough to make him pass out for…a few seconds. The judge was not amused.

Once home, Anakin told Luke to_ 'grow a spine.' Getting picked on by a girl! _

Had Isabel still been around, this whole ugly incident never would have happened. Actually, Isabel was still around. Anakin was fond of using this excuse well after Isabel left the family. The Mr. Jade choking incident occurred during Isabel's first year with the Skywalkers. She was required to submit a statement recounting the 'assault.' Isabel was not aware of it until after-the fact. The case was soon dropped because Mr. Jade failed to file charges since some issues about his past and current 'questionable' alliances involving the Empire came to light.. Anakin was released with a firm warning from the judge.

Mara catches up to Luke as he turns to walk away. _'Was he trying to avoid her?'_

"So, how ya' doin', Lu? Haven't seen you around in a long time. What's the occasion?"

"I'm working for my father."

"I thought you were training for the Jedi order."

"I am…special circumstances."

"Like what?"

"Just special circumstances. Listen, I've got to go."

"Hey wait up, Lu-Lu. Where are you heading?"

Luke releases a quiet but laborious sigh "I've got to go to the command center."

"Oh, are you spying on the crew for your 'Daddy'?"

"I'm…_he's _not spying on them."

"Everyone knows what your daddy does, _'Mini-me'_"

"Frog eyes"

"Darth boy"

"Dragon-faced she-devil"

"Nanny Chaser"

Thoughts: _'Alright, that's it! She's done it. I'm going to kick her ass now!'_

Luke turns to face Mara. He squints and purses his lips. He is tempted to Force-punch her in the nose but his concentration is interrupted.

"Luke!"

Out of his trance he hears a different voice. It is Admiral Piett. He is out of breath.

"Master Luke, your father needs to see you in his office immediately."

Mara smiles smugly.

"Bye, Lu-Lu!" She giggles.

Luke ignores her and follows Admiral Piett. Gladys watches as Luke paces near her desk as he waits to go in to see his father. They have been waiting several minutes. Gladys smiles softly. Just like his father, Luke lacks patience.

"Gladys, what's he doing in there? I thought he needed to see me immediately."

"He's in a very important meeting, Luke. He'll be finished momentarily. He asked not to be disturbed."

Meanwhile, at the very important meeting: Anakin, Boba Fett and Lando Calrissian, and a newly-hired crew pit member are watching _'Monday Afternoon Pod Racing Championship Finals'_ on the plasma screen. Credit vouchers are piled up on Anakin's desk. The men are betting on the race. There is cheering and yelling. Anakin is gloating to Lando.

"Come on, Lando; don't make me choke those credits out of you…this baby is all mine!" He laughs.

"Wait…wait…it's not over yet. Don't get cocky, Anakin."

The _'newbie' crew pit _employee is getting nervous.

"My wife is going to kill me if she knew I was betting our child's college fund money."

"You're a snake! You'd bet your kids' future away over a game??"

"It's a great honor being asked to join you being that I'm the new guy on the block. I really feel like I'm part of your team, Lord Vader."

"Huh? Oh, right. Boba, pass me a beer, will you?"

"Sure thing, boss."

To be continued…_ 'Table for Two'_


	30. Chapter 30 Table for Two

_Chapter 30 _

**--------- -- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Know When to Hold 'Em'_

'_Table for Two, Fits Six Comfortably'_

'_Mashed Tatooine Potatoes and Coruscant Cream Corn'_

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Finally, the door to Anakin's office opens. A clean-up droid scurries to tidy up after the 'meeting. '

Anakin's voice is heard as he ushers his guests out of the office. He is patting a stunned employee on the shoulder.

"…And don't worry about that reactor mistake. Consider it a lesson learned, officer. Go take the rest of the day off..."

Lando rolls his eyes as he listens to Anakin's B.S. The officer hurries out of the reception area. Anakin keeps up the act.

"General Calrissian, thank you for bring this situation to my attention. Have a great trip back to Cloud City."

Lando shakes his head woefully. His 'acting' is terrible but is enough to fool everyone else in the office.

"I just wish we could have done more, Lord Vader." The two men shake hands. Lando turns to Gladys. "Gladys, darling, if I weren't already married, I'd start courting you tomorrow, you vision of loveliness." He takes her hand and kisses it. Gladys blushes and waves her hand at him.

"Oh, General, you are too kind. But I don't think my husband would be pleased."

Lando sees Luke and winks, patting him on the face, "Luke, how are you kid?"

"Fine. Thanks, Lando…I mean... General. "

Anakin ushers Boba Fett out of the office.

"Boba, thanks for your report….I'll review your findings and get back to you next _'Monday'_ during our _touch-base_ meeting."

"I just wish the outcome were better, Sir." Boba shakes Anakin's hand.

"We did our best. Oh, please say hello to Mrs. Fett and congratulations on little baby Fett."

Lando and Boba are soon gone. Anakin holds open the door to his office. He looks over at Luke who is waiting at Gladys' desk. He had been looking at the family holographs until his father was ready for him. Admiral Piett is still there too. Anakin looks over at Piett.

"Why are you still here, Admiral?"

"You asked me to catch up with Master Luke, sir."

"And???"

"Send him to your office, Sir."

"So why do you need to be here?"

"No reason in particular…Sir"

"Then go. Get out of here."

Anakin turns his attention to Luke.

"Come in, Son. Let's chat."

Anakin holds the door open for Luke. Luke walks in and takes a seat. He sees a stack of credits on the desk.

"Wow! What's that for?"

"Nothing. Charity raffle." Anakin scoops up the cash and stuffs it in his desk drawer on top of the pouch of Felucia Gold."So what's this about punching girls in the nose? I never taught you that."

"I wish you wouldn't eavesdrop."

"I'm your father, it's my job."

"Sorry. Someone just made me angry earlier."

"Careful about that. Anger leads…"

"I know, I know…It leads to the Dark Side."

"No, it leads to an assault charge. New anti-violence rules in the workplace. I just got the memo this morning. Bastards!"

"But you…"

"Those were extenuating circumstances."

"Hey, dad, can we go to the Imperial PX? I want to look at some speeder bikes. I know you get a bigger discount than I do."

"Sorry, Luke, no can do. I've got a working lunch with the Emperor. He's another lightsaber blade in my side. Why don't you go to the commissary downstairs and socialize with some of the other interns. I'll be back in a couple of hours. We can discuss this bike you want."

"You'd get it for me?"

"I said we would discuss it. Now run along. It's lunchtime. Go have fun. What are you waiting for? Go!" He waves Luke out of the office and smiles.

'_**The Imperial Commissary Is A Great Place to Satisfy Your Appetite and Quench Your Thirst While Planning To Take Over the Galaxy'**_

The main dining area is populating with employees and interns. There is an officers' lounge and executive dining room off to the side. There is an additional executive dining room upstairs above the executive offices with a splendid view of the city.

The commissary is where everyone else goes. …interns, cadets, maintenance, middle and lower management and administrative staff. For as little as three credits, an employee can feast on a hot meal. Luke hated the commissary because he didn't know too many people. The employees he usually spends time with were all away at a self-improvement seminar at Coruscant University. He does have privileges in the executive dining rooms but there is no one to chat with there. In addition, being the son of the most powerful man in the Galactic Empire, with the exception of the Emperor, there are many resentful and hostile eyes to follow your every move.

The commissary is bright and cheerful with an atrium. Outdoor dining is also available. Luke selects his lunch then looks for someplace to sit. The place is filling up fast. The choice of people to sit with is slim. Most of the employees are stanch supporters of the Emperor, or at least claim to be for fear of reprisals. The interns have close connections with the military and they rarely socialize with the Jedi or members of the Rebel Alliance. One can draw a graph on the floor to distinguish the groups. He scans the huge room. Suddenly he focuses on a table in the corner. He could sit at the window and daydream for an hour. He loses focus when he senses a great disturbance in the Force.

"Oh, Lu-Lu???"

Luke wants to die now. He has a miserable expression on his face,_ 'Ohh, Nooo!' _he closes his eyes hoping the evil voice would go away. Finally he gives up._ 'Yoda always told me to face my fears,' _He says to himself.

He turns to find the green-eyed sea hag of Dagobah sitting at a table for six, alone. He imagined her for a second with fangs and claws ready to devour him. He grumbles to himself as he slowing walks over to her _'voodoo witchy-woman'_ table.

"Oh, hello, Mara."

"Have a seat, _'Daddy's baby'_."

"I was going to sit by myself today."

"No…sit with me. Come on, I won't bite."

Luke buckles and reluctantly sits across from her. He sinks into his chair. Suddenly he wasn't hungry anymore. The 'Red Demon from Hell' sits at the empty table smiling. She is waiting for him. She is like a vampire summoning her victim.

"Only losers sit by themselves"

"Isn't that what you were doing before I came over?" Luke mutters as he approaches the table. _'Swamp creature.'_

"I have plenty of friends, Lu-Lu. They're just not here yet. So, Blondie, what's up? You like your internship?"

"It's cool."

"Well???"

"Well what?"

"Aren't you going to ask me about my internship?"

"Nope"

"Ask _Me_!"

He replies in a robotic tone.

"How is your internship, Mara?" _Real Thought: _(_'I am not interested in the least in your internship, 'Witch Hazel'_)

"I love it. I get to spend everyday in a room with a bunch of Sith frat boys listening to them brag about their rush parties and how many pledges they tortured. Then I get to work with Jar-Jar Binks in the filing room two hours a day. He can't spell worth a _'sith'_! He is kind of funny though. I do get to run little errands for the Emperor. Stuff he can't trust Jar-Jar to do. So, enough about me. You can talk now, Lu-Lu."

"I don't have much to tell." She looks at the food on his tray "Yuck! You eat that stuff??"

"What?"

"Creamed corn. It looks like something a Wampa barfed up."

"That's rude of you. I like creamed corn."

"It's what I live for. So, really. How are you doing, Luke? I haven't seen you since grade school. What have you been up to?"

"Nothing much."

"Alright. Let me make things easy. How was your weekend?"

"It was fine."

"What did you do?"

"We had a dinner party."

"Really? Who came?"

"My mentor Obi-Wan, my sister's boyfriend, and my former nanny."

"Oh. That sounds cool. She was really nice to me when I was little. Even after I cleaned your clock in the playground that time…..I'm sorry about the nanny remark earlier. That was a cheap shot."

"Apology accepted."

They chat for the remaining lunch hour. None of Mara's so-called friends ever came to the table to join them. This is good for Luke.

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_Next chapter….'Fifty' Sith' Dates'_


	31. Chapter 31 Fifty Sith Dates

_Chapter31_

'_Fifty Sith Dates'_

'_Does this Lightsaber Make My Ass look Big?'_

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

It has been over a week since the dinner party/reunion at the Skywalker household. Things are back to normal…depending on what is considered normal for the Skywalker family.

Anakin has been on a business trip on Genosis to discuss the closing of the battle droid factory (budget cuts). He has had no time to call Isabel since she left his house that unforgettable weekend. He has had her on his mind frequently.

He returns home late on a Saturday night. Leia had gone on a date with that scoundrel boyfriend of hers. That Han Solo better have his daughter home by eleven o'clock. Luke is out riding his airspeeder. The boy had his freedom again.

The house was quiet. The servants were off for the weekend. R2D2 and C3PO were busy processing and translating data Anakin had given to them from his trip.

It was good to be home. Anakin placed his light saber and other gear on a small bench near the bedroom door. He doesn't bother switching on the light in the room. Instead he leaves, turns the corner and heads down the hall.

He approached Isabel's room. He places his hand on the door and enters. There was still a faint sent of Freesia in the room. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. For a moment he thought she might be there. He sat on the side of the bed and removed those jack boots that Leia forbid him to wear around the house. He lets his head fall back on those plush pillows that he had shared with her as he read the children's book to her a week earlier. That book was a great read!

He must have fallen asleep because when he opens his eyes, his face was buried in the pillow. Suddenly something stirred him out of his nap.

'_Hey, Ani. When are you going to stop putting it off?'_

"Oh. Qui-Gon? Why are you here now?"

'_It's been over a week and you haven't called her.'_

'I'm trying to think of a way to do it. I want it to be perfect.'

'_Ani, it ain't gonna happen my friend. Women like it when you fumble. It gives them something to work with. They love fixer-uppers. Just call her and tell her you want to see her.'_

'Just like that?'

'_Of course. All that stuff Mace is telling you is too stressful, especially if you're not skilled.'_

"Are you saying I'm _'unskilled_,' Qui-Gon?"

'_Yeah, you are. '_

"Oh, I see. I feel so much better about myself now."

'_So when are you going to call her?'_

"Soon."

'Don't wait too long. You're going to miss out on that _'treasure chest' _of hers. She was smoking hot!'

Anakin laughs out loud. He looks up at the ceiling. "Is that what you call them?"

'_Ani, all I'm telling you, the longer you wait, the sooner that candy shop is gonna close down.'_

"I'll do it."

'_When?'_

"When I feel like it."

Qui-Gon is serious now.

'_She's going to move on, Anakin. If you don't call soon, she's going to find someone else. You're not the only Sith in the galaxy.'_

"No, but I'm the best. ---You know what I mean"

'_Prove it. Call her.'_

Anakin has been taunted long enough. He takes the comm. unit and dials the number. He had remembers the card Luke had given him some time ago. He finally programmed it into the comm. Unit the day she left. His heart is pounding.

He listens to her voice:

"Hello? Hello?_" (click)_

Qui-Gon is becoming annoyed with Anakin._ 'Dial the number and stay on the line! Speak!'_

Anakin redials. He hears Isabel's voice again.

"_Hello? …_

Anakin sits up quickly.

"Wait! Don't hang up. Isabel, it's Anakin." He is a bundle of nerves.

"Oh, hello. Having trouble with your comm. Unit?"

"Uh, No, yes, no…. (sighs) How are you?"

"I'm okay. How are you?"

"Great…you want to get on the holo?"

"No. But you can put yourself on."

"Why me?"

"I just got out of the shower. Unless you want to call back in five minutes, when I'm more presentable."

Qui-Gon is grinning. Anakin knows what Qui-Gon is thinking. He points to Qui-Gon to stay put.

"Don't do it!"

Isabel thinks he is speaking to her." Don't do what?"

"Nothing."

Isabel sounds concerned.

"Anakin, is there someone else there?"

"Uhmmm…what do you mean?"

Anakin is pointing to Qui-Gon to stay where he is.

"Anakin? Are you alright?"

At this point Anakin is so nervous he just blurts out what he wants to say.

"Yes, I'm fine. Listen. Do you want to go out tomorrow?" There, he said it. Maybe now this annoying ghost will stop taunting him. He waits for her answer.

"Ahhh…sure."

"Okay. I'll meet you tomorrow at your place. Bye!"

Anakin hangs up. Qui-Gon is laughing. Anakin is fuming. He falls back against the pillows. That was exhausting! He felt his heart pounding so hard it could explode from his chest. He yells at Qui-Gon.

"Don't you ever do that again! And don't you dare visit her. I'm warning you Qui-Gon or I'll not speak to you ever again. I'm serious."

'_I understand. I'm sorry, Anakin.'_

Qui-Gon disappears

Sunday: Date Number 1 –Prom Night

Luke and Leia are home on Sunday. Leia arrived home by midnight and Luke was home shortly thereafter. They ignored the curfews Anakin had set for them as they pretty much ignore all of his other rules. Anakin is busy getting ready for his first date. He is wearing a white shirt over dark trousers. Leia sees him walking into the living room. She smiles and goes over to him to adjust his shirt collar.

"Look at you. Aren't you handsome! Let me smooth out your hair, Dad."

Leia stands back. She gestures for him to turn around so she can inspect him.

"How do I look?"

"Very nice for your first date. I like the white shirt. You don't look so threatening."

"Is that a good thing?"

Luke walks into the room.

"You look great, Dad."

"Thanks, Luke"

"So, are you ready?"

"I think so."

"Where are you going to take her?"

"I thought we would go to dinner then maybe a concert."

Leia pats his face lovingly.

Don't try to do too much, Dad. It is, after all your first date."

"I'll pace myself. Thanks, Leia.. Oh, Luke, I'll need to borrow your speeder."

"When's _your _speeder going to be ready?"

Anakin can't believe his son is requesting a status report. He gives Luke his stare.

The tow ship arrived earlier in the week to remove Anakin's wrecked speederLuke hands his father the release data card to his own speeder. Anakin heads for the door before answering Luke.

"Oh, I have my own copy. Thanks, _'Dad'_"

"Dad, don't get it scratched up. So, are you driving to '_Make-out point_?"

"No, wise ass. You been there? I thought not. Well, I'm ready."

"Have a good time and be home by midnight"

Luke opens the door for his father. Anakin blushes as Luke gives him a 'thumbs up' sign. Luke let's his father get halfway out the door then asks him a question.

"Dad?"

"Yes? What is it? Isabel is waiting for me."

"What's her address?"

"What do you mean? I have it on her card."

"You have her office address on her card. You have no idea where you're going, do you?"

Anakin is embarrassed. Qui-Gon was right. He needed help. He waits as Luke writes down the address for him. He felt like the child at the moment. He was glad that his children were looking out for their old man' because Anakin was clueless. Luke hands him the card.

"You _'kids' _need a chaperone?"

"You need an appointment with the Emperor?"

"Oh, Dad, you're such a comedian."

Luke playfully pretends to kick Anakin out the door.

"If your foot lands on my ass, you're done for."

Leia smiles and waves to her father.

"We'll wait up for you."

"Do me a favor---Don't."

To be continued……_'Fifty Sith Dates' & 'Mystery Date'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours for the next story. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_


	32. Chapter 32 Mystery Date

_Chapter 32_

'_Mystery Date'_

'_Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places'_

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**Isabel's Apartment** –

Anakin arrives at Isabel's apartment. She answers the door. He is holding a bouquet of flowers behind him.

"Good Evening, Milady."

"Good evening, Mr. Skywalker."

Anakin looks around.

"Is this your place?"

"No, I sneak in every night and take a shower. An ewok family actually lives here but they went away for the weekend."

"Really?"

"No, I'm teasing. I live here, Anakin."

Qui-Gon's voice returns

'_Ani, you were supposed to kiss her when she opens the door.'_

"Oh!"_ He leans over to kiss Isabel but she turns away too quickly. Anakin's bumps into her almost knocking her over. She is startled but recovers. He catches her and apologizes._

"Are you alright? I am so sorry"

"Yes. Thanks. Can I get you something to drink? Wine?"

"Ah, sure. Thanks. Oh. These are for you." He presents the flowers to her and hits her in the face. She starts sneezing. Oh, Oh! I am so sorry. I'm so clumsy. Did that hurt?"

"I think I got something in my eye."

They are in the refresher. She is rinsing her eyes. He hands her a towel.

"Anakin, why don't you go outside and sit down."

Anakin takes a seat on the sofa. He buries his face in his hands. Qui-Gon appears.

'_Nice little place she's got here. You should see the bedroom, but at the rate you're going you'll never make it pass the kitchen. Not going so well, eh?'_

"I am ruining this evening. She must think I am the most inept person in the galaxy."

'_You're just dangerous around women. Ani, you need to relax. Once you relax, you'll be fine.'_

They hear Isabel returning. Anakin tells Qui-Gon to leave.

"Get out, now!"

Isabel looks over at him.

"But it's my place."

"Oh, I didn't mean you… oh, never mind. How are you feeling?"

"Better. Thanks"

"I am so sorry, Isabel."

"It's alright. Listen, you want to get out of here? Let's go for a walk."

"I was planning to take you out to dinner."

"Are you hungry? We don't have to go out to dinner."

"What do you want to do?"

"Let's go."

They wind up at Hoth Creamery, a trendy Hoth ice cream franchise in Coruscant City. They are lucky to get a quiet corner booth. Isabel orders _Nabooberry_ ice cream. Anakin never really enjoyed ice cream until she invited him to join her and the children after school one day when they were 6 years old. It was one of the best times he had ever had coming out of his dark period. The ice cream was a good idea.

He drives her back to her apartment.

"Anakin, thank you for a lovely evening. The flowers were beautiful and tasted delicious. I had a nice time. Really."

"I apologize for being such a klutz earlier tonight. I hope you weren't totally turned off.."

"No, not at all. Things happen."

"So, you think you would like to go out again sometime?"

"Sure," What week?"

"Tomorrow?"

She laughs

"Wow. That's really far far off. I suppose I could make it. Well, It's getting late. I have to work tomorrow and you need your beauty sleep."

"Are you making fun of me?"

"Yes. Yes I am"

Anakin leans in and kisses her goodnight.

Anakin returns home. Luke and Leia look at one another when they hear him opening the door. It is only 11 o'clock. They park themselves on the sofa.

Leia smiles at him. "Wow, you're a real wild man, Dad!" 10:58 pm

Anakin looks at them. "Don't start. I'm in no mood,"

"What happened? You don't look thrilled. Oh, Daddy, you bit her again didn't you?"

The twins giggle. Luke does a voice in the vein of _'Fat Bastard' ---"I'm gonna Eat'cha"_

He makes Leia laugh out loud.

Anakin ignores them and leaves the room.

"Laugh it up. I'll be in my study on the data pad" He force-slams the door to his study.

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_To be continued……'The Dating Game'_

**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours for the next story. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**


	33. Chapter 33 Lessons In Dating

_Chapter 33 'Lessons In Dating'_

'_Take a Message, Gladys'_

'_Love Line - Let's Talk About Sex or_ Men are From Mars and Other Far Far Away Places_ '_

'_Tickle Me'_

'_Luke, Say Hello to your New Baby Brother'_

Anakin calls Gladys to tell her he will be in late. The Emperor calls shortly after. Gladys speaks to him in her sweet motherly voice.

"Good Morning, Lord Vader's office."

"Gladys, this is the Emperor. I must speak to Lord Vader."

"Sorry, Your Excellency, but Lord Vader is out of the office until this afternoon."

"Where is he?"

"He didn't say, your Excellency. May I take a message?"

"No, I don't wish to leave a message! -----Wait, if I asked for Anakin Skywalker, will I be connected?"

"I'm sorry, sir but he really isn't here right now."

"What about Ani?"

"No."

"_Father?"_

"No, Sir."

"Dark Lord?"

"No. Your Excellency, hold please. I have another call coming in right now."

"Wait! Gladys, don't you put me on hold! Damn-it! Blasted woman!"

Gladys picks up the line again.

"Your Excellency, I apologize but Lord Vader isn't here right now."

"Gladys, you tell him I need to see him immediately. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Sir."

Palpatine tries another tactic. He is using the fatherly voice he used to seduce Anakin to the Dark Side 18 years earlier.

"Gladys, I have a question for you, my dear."

"Yes, Sir?"

"How is Lord Vader as a boss?"

"He's a wonderful boss, Your Excellency."

"I was wondering…just wondering…if you have ever entertained the idea of switching jobs; my Secretary Hilda is about to retire. Only through me can you achieve a power greater than any Sith Executive Secretary. Learn the Dark Side of the secretarial pool and you'll never have to do shorthand again. The benefits would be quite substantial."

"I'm sure they would but I could never leave Lord Vader. He's a wonderful boss. And, besides, he never makes me take shorthand. I enter everything on his data pad. Have a nice day, Sir."

"Fine!"

He hangs up on her.

**Men are From Mars and Other Far Far Away Places**

Anakin is about to leave his ship. He turns to his loyal astromech droid.

"Stay with the ship, Artoo"

Anakin had not seen his old Jedi advisor in awhile. Not since their last meeting years ago. All contact thereafter was communicated through Obi-Wan. He wanted to see the old man again. He has been harboring a deep-seated anger at a pivotal point in his life.

It took about twenty minutes to travel from his ship by foot to the house. He finds the house and knocks. Anakin hears a small but excitable voice approaching the door.

"I got it! I got it!"

Anakin looks down. It's not who he expects to answer the door. The voice addresses Anakin

"Who are you?"

"I'm Anakin Skywalker…I've come to see…," Anakin steps outside the house again to look for an address to make sure he is at the right place. He looks down again. "I'm Anakin Skywalker and I'm here to see….."

Finally Anakin hears a voice he recognizes.

"Boy, didn't I tell you to sit down and not answer the door?" The familiar voice stops for a moment and the host looks up at the tall and anxious-looking former Jedi. "Anakin Skywalker. Long time it has been."

"Hello, Yoda. Thank you for seeing me on such short notice." Anakin bends over to avoid hitting his head on the low ceiling.

"Come in, have a seat you will."

Anakin points to the little creature scurrying around the living room and staring up at him. "Who's this?"

"Oh, goddaughter's child, Elmo. Staying with me for awhile, he is. Left for Las Vegas with no account boyfriend she did…Elmo, stop touching his hair!"

Anakin sweeps his hair behind his ear. Elmo keeps touching it.

"Soft. Heehehehee. What's your name?"

"Anakin."

"My name is Elmo. Will you be my friend?"

"I got enough friends"

Elmo starts to cry. Anakin is startled. Yoda rolls his eyes and whispers to Anakin.

"He's 'Special'. So, middle-aged Skywalker. You mentioned that you were having dreams. Premonitions, premonitions. Hmmmm, these visions you have"

"No, that was a long time ago. I'm having other problems……"

Elmo leans on Anakin's knee. Anakin can't concentrate on what he wants to say. Elmo keeps staring at him. Anakin looks down at him annoyed.

"What?"

"Tickle me!"

Anakin relents and begins tickling Elmo as he speaks to Yoda. Elmo is laughing hysterically.

"Master, Yoda…I need your advice. I'm seeing this lady and she's really beautiful…"

"Ah..yes…Your friend and mentor Qui-Gon told me, he has. Says quite a rack on her she does. Much help you need to score he told me."

"What the _'eff'?' _He told you all that? What a big mouth!"

"Well, is it true, Anakin?"

"Yes, Master Yoda."

Elmo finds a pirate hat and climbs on the chair. He places it on Anakin's head.

"Let's play 'Muppets Treasure Island! Yaaa!"

Anakin tries to continue the discussion with Yoda. He is still wearing the pirate hat.

"So, I need your help, Master."

"Took my advice last time you did not, Anakin. Wound up widower and your children taken from you…. Hmmm. Why take my advice again?"

"I have been learning to listen more to others, Master."

"Gradually coming back to the light are you, Skywalker?"

"Yeah, sort of. I want t make a smooth transition. Heard it's too painful to come back from the Dark Side cold turkey."

"So, a relationship during this time you want to have? I sense a Sith she is not."

"Heaven's no. She is totally good but I don't want her too good…if you know what I mean."

"So you want her to be a Sith in the bed and a saint out?"

"Is that so wrong, Master?"

"In the bed first you've got to get her. Barely first base you got from what I understand. Tis your fault it is Hmmmm. Remember this girl, I do. Good heart she has. Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed, that is."

"Yoda, I just want to get laid. How is that greedy?"

"Skywalker, what do you want from me? Need energy to answer questions from your son, I will. Almost 900 years will I be. Information on this subject to give I do not. Bothas & Naboo you should go. Buy a book you must. '_365 Positions Across the Galaxy 101' _Number two on the_ 'Coruscant Times Best Seller List'_ it is"

"Oh…I think someone gave me a copy. I haven't read it yet."

Elmo is checking out Anakin's utility belt. He sees the Lightsaber.

"OOOOO! Flashlight! Bright Light Bright light! He tries to flip the switch. Anakin slaps his fingers.

"Don't touch! It's dangerous!" Anakin continues talking to Yoda. "Master, Thank you for your time…I…"

He watches as Yoda is losing patience with fidgety Elmo. Yoda whacks Elmo with his cane. Elmo starts whimpering as Yoda whaling on him. Anakin can't take it anymore. He shouts to Yoda.

"Whoa! Whoa, old man! Take it easy. Yoda, you look stressed."

"Too busy to care for hyperactive Muppet child. Too old I am. ..nearly 900 years old…"

"Yeah, yeah, I got it. Listen, why are you still living in this dump? I got my kids back. Why do you still need to hide?"

"That crazy Sith boss of yours! Executive Order 66 still on my head has he."

"Oh, that's a clerical error. That order was 86'd years ago. Where have you been, in a swamp? Oh, I suppose you have…uhmmm. Look, Yoda. I got a couple of pieces of real estate between here and Yarvin4. Why don't you take the country house in Yarvin? The trees and fresh air will do you good. You are hitting the big 9-OH-OH."

"Got to talk to co-op board first I do. Try to sell this hovel I must. Do me a favor."

"Sure, anything. You've always been there for me."

A few hours later. Anakin is boarding his ship. He is carrying a duffle bag over his shoulder.

Yoda hands Anakin two containers that resemble prescription bottles.

"Ritalin. Morning and bedtime two tablets to be taken"

Anakin takes the containers and boards his ship. Artoo starts chirping to Anakin but is told not to worry.

"Calm down Artoo. It won't be so bad."

Yoda yells up to Anakin as he enters the docking bay of the ship, "Wait, you must complete the training."

"I think you're supposed to reserve that line for my son Luke. Get some rest, Yoda."

He waves goodbye toYoda as the ship's hatch closes.

Anakin arrives home to drop off something. He has a lot on his plate today. He has to return to the office, attend a meeting and get ready for his date.

Anakin calls his children. Artoo is chirping to Threepio who listens, then looks over at Anakin and the bundle he is carrying. Threepio holds his hands to his face in shock. Anakin is calling Luke and Leia. Luke finally appears.

"What's up, Dad?"

"Where's your sister?"

Luke smiles as if he knows a secret that will anger his father.

"Dad, don't pretend you don't know. The Senate ended an hour ago." He points to the duffle. "What's in the sack?"

"Oh, here. Catch!"

The bundle lands in the chair. It is moving. Luke looks inside.

"Dad, what the….you've got to be kidding me!"

Elmo jumps up into Luke's arms. "Hi! I'm Elmo. What's your name?"

"Luke."

"Tickle me!"

"I don't want to."

"Tickle me! I'll cry…"

Luke tickles Elmo. He realizes it's not so bad. Anakin tosses the two vials of Ritalin to Luke.

"Here. You're going to need to use it. I've got to go."

"Dad, where did you find him?"

"On Dagobah. Meet your new foster brother."

Threepio looks down at Artoo and kicks him.

"You told me that was Darth Maul's illegitimate son! You're not funny you bag of busted spark plugs!"

Artoo laughs.

To be continued…Next chapter:_ 'Mystery Date Part II'_

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	34. Chapter 34 Mystery Date Part II

_Chapter 34 'Mystery Date Part II – Fifty Sith Dates'_

_**Prom Night number 2**_

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'_The Boss Wants a Few Words With You'_

'_Monday Night's Alright For Fighting'_

'_A Little Less Conversation'_

'_Daddy's Little Girl'_

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Anakin receives the 500 messages from Palpatine. Gladys dutifully filters through them to so Anakin doesn't have to look at the duplicates.

He leaves a message for Isabel telling her to meet him at the Coruscant Galaxies Opera House in the lobby.

After returning from a meeting and taking a shower in his private Executive refresher suite, he gets dressed to meet Isabel at the Opera House.

Anakin is walking down the corridor when he hears the Emperor summoning him into his office. He felt something was up. He grumbled to himself as he stops and turns towards The Emperor's chambers.

Palpatine looks up from his desk and smiles.

"Lord Vader, I'm glad I finally caught you. I left several messages with your secretary. She told me you were away on business."

"Yes. I got the messages, Master. I apologize but I have been very busy."

"Your secretary is quite efficient in taking messages, Lord Vader. I am disappointed that you don't follow her lead in responding to the messages she left on my behalf."

"What is it, Master?"

"I wanted to talk to you concerning the recent trip you took to Geonosis. You were able to close down the droid manufacturing plant. How is this possible?"

"There was no need to keep it operating, Master. Keeping it open was draining our resources. We are not in a war situation at the moment."

Anakin is tapping his foot nervously and grating his finger against his lightsaber.

"You're dressed quite elegantly this evening. Dinner engagement?"

"Actually, I am going out tonight, Master."

"Please, sit down, Lord Vader. I won't keep you too long. I know you don't want to keep your beautiful lady friend waiting."

He didn't bother to ask how the Emperor knew this.

"Actually, Master, I must leave shortly."

"In due time. Let's discuss the Geonosis report you submitted this morning."

Anakin knows he is being kept on purpose. As predicted, the Emperor is trying to undermine his management of the various outposts throughout the galaxy. Anakin has other reasons for the closings but he has managed to keep his motivations hidden from the Emperor. The emperors' powers were slowly diminishing. Anakin would bide his time until the right moment. He had to be patient. But his detainment tonight was making Anakin anxious. He did not want to be late meeting Isabel.

"What about the report, Master?"

"Well, I want to make sure your thinking is clear on these recommendations and findings. You closed down an entire division. It could have ramifications to our future readiness to respond in the event of an attack."

"If you don't trust me, Master, you're within your right to select someone more capable of executing your wishes."

"Now, Lord Vader, you must not take offense. I was only trying to understand the logic in this but if you believe these recommendations are in the best interest of the Empire, then I have no reason to question your actions. Do I?" He leans over his desk and gives Anakin that creepy smile.

After an hour Anakin storms out to the parking bay to retrieve his rental speeder. He was unable to borrow Luke's speeder. The new vehicle was still at the factory being customized. Anakin locates the rental speeder and backs out of the parking bay. He is in a hurry.

Anakin arrives just in time to find Isabel walking away from the Opera House. He leaps out of the speeder and calls her. She sees him but continues to walk. He runs and grabs her arm.

"Isabel, don't be angry with me. It wasn't my fault and I'm sorry I'm late."

"You couldn't call?"

"I was in a meeting with my boss. It was an unexpected emergency. It couldn't have been avoided. Let's go inside."

"We've already missed over an hour of the performance. I'm going to grab a taxi and go home."

"I'll take you home."

They arrive at her apartment. Anakin opens the door for her. He force closes it then takes her in his arms and kisses her.

"I am so sorry. It seems that's all I have been doing for the past couple of weeks is apologizing since you came back into my life. Have I told you that I love you?"

"No."

"Well, I do. Where's that bottle of wine you were going to offer me last night?"

"On the counter in the kitchen."

"What's going on in that room over there?" He nods his head in the direction of the bedroom.

"Nothing."

"Pity. Why don't you get in there? I'll be back with two glasses." He winks.

Isabel smiles. She's starting to like his bossiness.

"Okay" She stumbles backwards into the bedroom door like a giddy schoolgirl.

"You stumbling already? I haven't gotten you drunk yet." He removes her shoes then leaves to get the wine.

A few minutes later he returns to the bedroom. She is still dressed but lying on the bed. Anakin hands her a glass of wine. He makes her drink it all. She giggles.

"This is expensive wine. It should be enjoyed"

"I am enjoying it." He takes her glass and sets it on the night table. They are both on the bed kissing. The comm. unit rings. "Don't answer. It's not important."

"It might be." She is giggling as he holds her in his arms. She turns on her stomach and reaches for the comm. unit as he kisses the back of her neck."

"'Bel, don't pick it up."

"Hello? Oh, hi, Daddy! How are you? Yes? Yes?..." She gently pushes Anakin away. She sits up on the bed. Anakin sits beside her trying to urge her to end the call. He stokes her hair and continues to kiss her but she continues her conversation. "Okay…where's mum? I see…what? Oh…no one's here. No. it was the plasma…" She looks at Anakin who is not happy, in fact, he is downright angry. Anakin storms out of the bedroom and force-slams the door. Isabel is trying to explain the loud noise to her father. To him it is so loud it sounds like an explosion. She tells him it is a gust of air.

Isabel ends the call with her father. She opens the bedroom door. Anakin is standing at the window. He turns his head but does not look directly at her.

"You haven't told your family you're seeing me, have you?"

"I need a little time, Anakin. It's not as if we've been together for a long time. This is new for me. You don't understand my father. I can't tell him yet."

"Or ever? You know he hates me. I remember the look in his face the moment he realized who I was. It was filled with contempt. You want to be_ 'Daddy's little girl'_ forever? I don't want anymore secrets in my life, Isabel. Not when it involves people I love. Goodnight"

Anakin leaves the apartment.

Isabel makes a call.

"Mum, I want to talk. To both of you..."

_Back at the Skywalker house_ –

Leia is standing at the door when Anakin returns home. She gives him a big hug.

"Daddy, it's not as bad as you think it is. Everything will be better tomorrow. I promise."

"Thanks, Leia. It just feels really bad right now."

"Dads are the same all over. They hate the men their daughters bring home. I know you're a good person."

"Thanks. I needed to hear that. Goodnight"

Meanwhile Luke is having a little problem of his own in the kitchen:

"Take this tablet now before I beat the stuffing out of you!"

"Nooo! Tickle me!"

"Damnit, Elmo! It's late! I need to go to training tomorrow! "

"Ooooooh, you used a naughty word. I'm telling Leia!"

Leia walks in and grabs a spoon. She crushes a Ritalin tablet in applesauce and shoves it in Elmo's mouth while he is talking. "You're not telling anyone anything. Go to sleep you little hyperactive bag of foam!"

To be continued…Next chapter:_ 'Tea For Three'_

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_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this heart wrenching story of rebirth and forgiveness.**_

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	35. Chapter 35 Release the Girls

_Chapter 35_

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'_Tea for Three'_

'_I'm Not Laughing at You'_

'_Release the Girls'_

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_Lunch With Mom_

Morning –

Anakin is on his way to the office. He gets a call on his comm. unit. He knows who it is.

"Yes, Isabel."

"I know you're upset but I don't want you to be angry with me anymore. I panicked last night."

"Oh, was that what that was?"

"Are you available to meet me for lunch?"

"Isabel, I'm a busy man…" Anakin glances at the display on the dashboard. He gets confirmation that the credits he won in a recent betting pool have been deposited into his account. "What time?"

"Noon. At the Bimmisari Tea House"

"Why do you women always pick these snobby chick joints?"

"My mother is a member of the Bimmisari Tea Society."

"Oh, well tell her she's doing a bang up job for the tea industry."

"I'd rather not. Be there and wear a smile. Pretend to like it."

"I'm still mad at you but I still want you around..."

"Gee, thanks. Goodbye, Anakin."

Anakin arrives at the office. Luke is delivering his reports. Gladys serves Anakin a cup of Bimmisari tea. He called ahead so she would have it ready. He wanted to be practice drinking the swill before the lunch meeting. He didn't was to suffer the embarrassment of gagging or coughing it up while sitting at the table with Isabel's mother.

"Thank you, Gladys, you're a gem."

"You're very welcome, Lord Vader."

Anakin sits at his desk to go over his agenda for the morning. He is sipping the tea. It wasn't half bad once he added a shot of Caamas Whisky and some ice chips. Suddenly he sees little fluffy red hands moving around the desk. He is watching from the rim of his teacup. He finally sees what it is after the cup of hot teas spills in his lap. He lets out a string of curses that would make a Sith cringe. Elmo is wandering under the desk. Anakin take a stapler and attaches Elmo to the top of the desk. He force-calls Luke who hurries into his father's office. Anakin points.

"Why is this here?"

"No child sitter?" Luke smirks.

"Don't be a wiseass. Take it home now."

"Dad! You didn't have to use the stapler!"

"Out!"

"What happened to your pants?" He looks at Elmo "Oh."

'_Lunch Bel'_ –

It was ten minutes before noon. Anakin would have to literally run to the docking bay to grab his speeder and drive to the Tea House. He arrives just in time. Standing with Isabel was a lovely middle-aged woman. She seems to recognize Anakin. Possibly she was peering over her husbands' shoulder on that fateful day when Anakin showed up at their door. Anakin remembers to put on his best face.

Isabel's father was invited but he still has issues with Anakin and refuses to join the group. Mrs. Nor

is pleasant towards Anakin. After all the formalities the three are escorted to a table and dine on tea sandwiches and, of course tea. This is not a meal for a grown man; unless of course he was on a restricted diet; his stomach was stapled. Ouisanne Nor is a soft-spoken woman and very elegant.

He knows where Isabel gets her sophisticated demeanor, 'Mrs. Etiquette and little Miss Etiquette.'

"So, Mr. Skywalker, I understand you have two teenagers at home."

"Yes, Ma'm, they're twins. A boy and a girl. I'm very proud of them. They're good children."

"Wait, I remember, Isabel, didn't you bring home two children one afternoon after school several years ago?

"Some time ago, yes. They're the same children."

Anakin looks at her. He couldn't remember this. Perhaps he blocked it out of his memory. He would have to ask Luke and Leia.

"We were waiting for a storm to pass." She looks at Anakin who intended to ask her to explain herself later. "Anakin, you were away on business or something. I called and told you."

"I see. You seem to have forgotten that piece of information, darling." Anakin takes her hand in his. Isabel looks back at him.

"No, I didn't." Isabel recalls the tongue-lashing she got when she told him they got caught in the rain that day but this was not the time to contradict him. Mrs. Nor smiles across the table at Anakin.

"Well, Mr. Skywalker, they were the best-behaved children I have ever seen under my daughter's care. You couldn't separate them from her, especially the little boy. I'm sorry about your loss. I'm sure it was hard on you and the children."

"Your daughter helped us a lot, Mrs. Nor. Thank you."

Isabel excuses herself from the table for a few minutes. Anakin and Mrs. Nor are left alone to talk.

"You like my daughter, don't you?"

"Very much. I owe her a lot."

"I heard what my husband said to you that day. He's a stubborn man and isn't easily swayed. He's also protective of our only daughter."

"I had only the best intentions at the time. I hope you believe that, Mrs. Nor."

"It may be awhile to get him to come around. Don't give up."

"I came to your home out of respect and to thank you and your husband. I didn't come to make trouble."

"I know." Ouisanne takes Anakin's hand in hers. Have faith, dear.

After lunch Anakin leaves the two women who have a shopping appointment. He receives a kiss on the cheek from Isabel's mother.

Anakin returns to the office. He checks to see if Luke hade taken that little saccharine ball of terror back to the house. He had. The day wasn't too awful. Anakin managed to ditch the Emperor yet another day. He had a visitor though.

'_Ani, The mother wasn't too shabby.'_

"I thought I sensed you there today. You don't listen do you?"

'_Hey, I'm a Force ghost. I never listen to things that don't matter. So, you're going to take another go at Isabel?'_

"A Go? Qui-Gon, she's not a pod racer"

'_Bet you could ride her like one. I'd give anything to touch those headlights.'_

"Cut it out, Qui-Gon" He grins at Qui-Gon's crude euphemisms for Isabel's chest. How childish. The COM link comes on. "Hello, yes, it was very nice, and Yes, I'm glad I was able to join you and your mother. Why don't you come over tonight? We can pick up where we left off…I've got plenty of wine. Okay. See you then."

Qui-Gon waits until the call is finished.

'_Ani, what's taking so long? Those panties haven't dropped yet?'_

"I guarantee you; the curtain's going to fall tonight."

Evening –

Anakin takes a shower, chills a bottle of champagne and selects some 'mood' music on the plasma audio deck. He is happy tonight. He is humming to himself as takes one last look in the mirror. He winks.

Isabel arrives around 8 o'clock. Anakin kisses her then shuts the door.

"Hello. Interesting outfit."

He removes her wrap. Isabel is wearing a two piece mid-length length black spandex skirt and top with front-opening hooks. It looks as if she is wearing the backside of a bra, only several of them. He had never seen her dress this way but he didn't mind at all. He has the hook thing down to a science. He has been practicing.

Anakin hands her a glass of champagne and kisses her again. He leads Isabel into the bedroom. They stand at the foot of the bed. Anakin rubs his hands together.

"Shall I do the honors?" He rubs his palms together. Isabel is amused.

"Definitely. You preparing to open a safe?"

"I guess you could say that."

Anakin takes the champagne flute from her and sets it on the table. He is grinning ear to ear. Isabel smiles sweetly at him.

"Gee, you're very happy tonight."

"I'm a happy man.. You have no idea." He fumbles with the clasps so she decides to undo it to for him. He is a bit nervous after all.

"Just release… the hooks, Anakin."

She drops the skirt. Isabel opens her top exposing her breasts. Anakin starts laughing hysterically. She stares at him.

"Ani, Are you alright?"

All he can manage is a nod. He closes then opens her top again and bursts into laughter.

"Oh, Man!"

Isabel is becoming annoyed and even a bit humiliated. Now she is just angry. Suddenly she pulls her skirt back on and closes her top. Anakin's mouth drops. He is speechless as she _'closes up shop.'_

"You know what, Anakin, I don't need this humiliation. If you don't want me then just say it. I'm sick of this nonsense, Have a good laugh!"

She storms out in a huff. She is almost in tears.

Isabel has grabbed her bag and shoes. She is Gone.

Anakin screams in horror once he realizes what has just happened.

"Noooooooo!" He falls backward on the bed. In a meek voice he cries out: _"Come back"_ He is crying out like _'Rose'_ in _'Titanic'_ in the freezing waters of the North Atlantic, blowing the whistle for the rescue boats to come back around. This is pretty much how Anakin sounded when Isabel walks out on him, like a freezing little bitch!

Leia returns home after 1 o'clock in the morning. She finds her father in the sofa drinking from the champagne bottle. She knows something went terribly wrong tonight. He looks so pathetic she almost laughs. She knows he has done something so stupid it's funny. She takes his bottle, pats him on the knee and walks him to his room. He gets into bed.

"Dad, you're an embarrassment to the family."

She covers him with the sheet and leaves him in his misery.

To be continued……_ 'He Started It '_

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_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this heart wrenching story of rebirth and forgiveness.**_

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	36. Chapter 36 He Started It

_Chapter 36_

'_He Started It' – 'Come on , Fellas, Don't Fight'_

'_Meditation Does a Body Good'_

**MORNING** –

'Twisted' and 'Evil' is Anakin's mood by morning. Everyone avoids him today.

Leia calls Isabel.

"Isabel, he's making everyone's life miserable. C3PO is hiding to avoid inevitable dismantling. Luke may be riding his speeder for that last time and my days are numbered seeing Han. Come on. What did he do that was so bad?...He what? You're joking….Listen, I assure you, he couldn't have been laughing at that. We'll get to the bottom of it. I'll talk to you later"

After Leia's call to Isabel she goes to her father's room. She pokes him in the head.

"Hey, '_Chuckles'_ wake up!"

"Leave me alone, Leia. You came home late last night. I'll deal with you later. I'm not blind. I see thingss"

"Just clumsy and stupid. And besides, rumor has it you didn't see much last evening."

"Don't make me ground you; I'm still the head of this household. Learn some respect."

"Oh, calm down! You're not going to do a darned thing about it." She pulls the sheets off of him.

"Get out of bed and stop feeling sorry for yourself, you big baby!"

Anakin eventually gets out of bed. He takes a shower before returning to his room. He goes into his walk-in closet.

Upon his return he sees the Force Ghosts of Qui-Gon and Mace Windu are in the room. Anakin sees Qui-Gon and sneers. "What are you doing here?"

'_I came to apologize.'_

"Right"

'_I didn't think you were going to lose it last night. I thought you'd forget all my little pet names for your girlfriends' headlights'_

Mace speaks to Anakin,_ 'Anakin, come on, admit it. It was funny. Qui-Gon told me all about it._ He imitates Anakin's pathetic cries the night before. _'Come back, come back…..' I heard those panties went back on faster than they dropped! Poor Ani, didn't even get a peek.'_

Anakin is embarrassed. He is listening as he is curled up under the sheets.

"Mace, I laughed at the most beautiful body in the galaxy. She hates me now."

'_Get your sorry ass out of bed and go to the office. She won't have any respect for you if you start all that crying. This is beginning to get ponderous. This is almost a weekly event bringing you out of your blue funk... Ever consider seeing a shrink?'_

"I'm not crazy"

'_You sure act crazy. You should have been rejoicing last night, not curled up under the sheets like a little girl. Now, you're whining because you had one of Qui-Gon's stupid grade school jokes in your head. '_

Leia walks into the room again. She sees Mace and Qui-Gon.

"If you two are really his friends, you'd help him get out of this bed. He is not spending the day moping around this house. Mace, I guarantee you, I will throw my own father out the window if he doesn't get the Hoth out of here under his own power. This is not a good week for me either!"

Mace is stunned.

'_Damn, Leia, you're cold! What do you think we're trying to do! The man has issues. His woman walked out on him. I think he's about to spontaneously combust'_

"Well, let him blow up someplace else."

'_Anakin, your daughter has a point. You need to snap out of it, man. Come on, let's go!'_

Anakin lets out a heavy sigh then throws off the covers. He is fully dressed. A few minutes later he heads out to the office.

**Talk to the Hand**

Anakin has a late morning meeting with the Emperor. He is barely listening as the Emperor harps on the Genosis report Anakin submitted.

"Lord Vader, I would really like to review your findings on the Genosis droid factory closings with Governor Tarkin and Admiral Motti here. Admiral, you had some comments to make earlier, did you not?"

"These closings are unjustified, Lord Vader. You need to re-work your numbers because I don't see the logic in depleting our military reserves. The Genosis manufacturing plant is the ultimate military offensive in the universe. I suggest we use it."

"Don't make me choke you, Monti, I'm in no mood. I had a bad night."

"Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, Lord Vader. And it's Motti NOT Monti. You over –aged boy toy"

"You making fun of me? I swear, don't mess with me today."

"Choke anyone lately?" He laughs at Anakin.

Anakin Force-chokes Motti. He starts turning blue. Tarkin commands Anakin to stop.

"Enough of this! Vader, release him!"

"No way! I'll choke the living daylights out of you, Monti!" Anakin force b-slaps Motti then chokes him again.

"Aaakkkk…He's…chok—ing …me…caaan't breeeath……"

Tarkin and Palpatine sit and watch Anakin and Motti argue. Palpatine wants to see sparks fly. He is wringing his hangs with glee. Tarkin just wants them to stop.

"This bickering is pointless. Vader, release him now or else you'll spend another two weeks in sensitivity training"

Anakin didn't want to do this. Those sensitivity classes were real snoozers! Anakin, Boba Fett and General Grievous were frequent attendees according to the Human Resources department. The role playing exercises were not helpful.

"As you wish." Anakin takes one more shot at Motti and slaps him on the head.

After the meeting, Anakin returns to his office.

**AFTERNOON** –

Glady's calls Anakin over the comm. unit.

"Yes, Gladys?" Anakin is working on his _'Who to Kill'_ list. He is in that sort of mood.

"There is a visitor here to see you."

"Oh….who is it?" He knows darned well who it is.

"Miss Isabel Nor, Sir."

"I'll be out in a sec, Thanks, Gladys."

Gladys smiles up at Isabel. "You used to be the children's nanny. Are you coming back to work for the family?"

"I don't think they need a nanny anymore."

"That's probably true."

Anakin opens the door to his office and greets Isabel. They shake hands.

"Miss Nor. This is a nice surprise." It was no surprise. He felt her with the Force. He should have been doing that last night. He closes the door. "Please. Have a seat."

"Thank you."

"Did you have any trouble getting up here?"

"I just get the impression not many women pass through this place."

"It's not a glamorous job. Listen, I'm really sorry about last night. I was being stupid. I wasn't laughing at you. Honest."

"Leia told me so much. So what were you laughing about?"

"It's too embarrassing. You wouldn't understand being a woman and all."

"So now I'm stupid?"

"No, no no….that's not what I meant. Listen, can we get pass this? We finally get together to smooth things out and we get into a fight. We never get to be alone together and when we do, it's a disaster. It's been almost ten years. Let's not do this."

"Fine"

The comm. unit light is on. It is Gladys.

"Lord Vader, I have General Veers on the line. He says it's important."

"I'll take it. Thank you, Gladys." Anakin looks over at Isabel "I'll not be a minute."

"Sure"

Isabel gets out of her chair and takes a look around. She sees Leia's stuffed ewok toy on the bookshelf and some holographs of the children when they were younger. There is even one with Isabel taking the children to the museum. She doesn't remember this one. Strange. She looks out of the window at the city. The sky was clear that afternoon.

She turns her attention to the huge black sphere on the far side of the office. She's not sure what it is but it looks as if it serves a function.

Meanwhile, Anakin is wrapping up his telephone converstion. He is speaking in a quiet voice indicating a private call.

"So how much do you have riding on the third race? I see…put me down for 8000. Yes. I made16000 on Monday. I'm not complaining. Great, I'll talk to you next week. Gotta go."

Anakin turns in his chair. He sees Isabel looking around as if she's in a museum. She looks at him and points to the sphere.

"What's that for?"

"Oh You've never been to my office, have you?

"No. Never."

"Well…it's sort of like a flight simulator." He leaps from his chair and walks over. He takes her by the hand. "Want to sit inside? I'll help you up." They are sitting in the oversized white upholstered reclining seat.

"What do you do in it?"

Anakin looks at her for a moment then smiles. 'Would you like to go for a ride?"

"Does it move?" She is looking over the side for a track or mounting pole. Anakin blinks and smiles slyly.

"Would you excuse me for a moment?"

Anakin opens the door to his office and pokes his head out.

"Gladys?"

"Yes, Lord Vader?"

"Hold all my calls and cancel my appointments. I'll be in an important meeting for the rest of the day. Uhm Order a tray of food and leave it out here. . I'll take care of it. Oh, Gladys?"

'Yes, Lord Vader?"

Take the rest of the day off. You deserve it."

"Why, thank you, sir. How generous of you."

"You're the best secretary in the Galaxy, Gladys. I hope you know that."

"Thank you, sir. Don't work too hard now. At least that nice young lady will be there to assist you. You won't be doing it all by yourself."

"You know me, Gladys. I'm a team player. Working hard is something I should do more often. I haven't been applying myself lately. I'm going to be pulling an all-nighter. You know how it is."

"Well, if anyone were to ask me, I'd say you work harder than anyone in the Empire."

"You're sweet. Thanks Gladys. That means a lot. Good night."

"Goodnight, Sir."

Anakin locks the office door. He steps inside the meditation chamber and sits beside Isabel. He kisses her. The chamber begins to close. Isabel looks up.

"I think something's happening."

"I know. You're a smart lady." He grabs her pink purse and tosses it out of the chamber. "We're not going to need any money for this ride."

The meditation chamber is sealed. The units' controls lights up.

Late that afternoon Luke returns to the office to deliver some papers to his father. Gladys is gone. He sees a tray of fruit on her desk with his father's name on it. He decides to take it into the office. The door is locked. He calls his father.

"Dad?"

He decides to use the force to open the door. He looks around. After stealing a piece of chopped fruit and popping it in his mouth, he looks across the room at the chamber.

Luke slowly walks over to it. His eyes widen. The lights are on and the screen on the display pad is rapidly generating data. Finally he backs away quietly and sets the tray of fruit on the conference table. As he turns to leave he sees a small pink handbag on the floor. He grins and hurries out, quietly locking the door behind him. He whispers "Way to go, Dad"

To be continued……Next chapter:_ 'Don't You Know What the Night Can Do'_

**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours for the next story. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**


	37. Chapter 37Don't You Know What the Night

_Chapter 37_

'_Fembot'_

'_Poltergeist'_

'_Nice Girls Don't Do That'_

The airlock on the chamber suddenly releases. Vapor escapes as the Chamber opens. Isabel is sleeping in Anakin's arms. Anakin wakes up and smiles when he sees Isabel still sleeping beside him. He looks at the time on the digital readout on the arm of the meditation recliner. It is 8 o'clock in the morning. He doesn't want to wake Isabel because she might panic at being in an unfamiliar place.

Last night was amazing. And he got the best 5 hours of sleep he ever had. Imagine the great fortune of Isabel innocently giving him the greatest idea ever! Why didn't he think of it! The girl was a genius!

The only time he ever used the darned contraption was after the battle on Mustafar. Anakin thought it would look cool in his office and, besides it would totally freak out the officers under his command when they would visit. He loved mind games.

The meditation chamber became the topic of hushed gossip within the company. No one knew its true function but it was ominous enough and large enough to spark controversy and generate rumors. Anakin got a good laugh out of it.

He did use it, from time to time to actually meditate. He would close his eyes, and rest his head while listing to old Green Day hits on his Epod. But mostly it was used for the occasional catnap and as a video arcade for his kids during their occasional visits on "Bring Your Little SITH to Work Day."

So here she was, sleeping in his embrace and sharing a thermal blanket.

Note to self: Bring in extra bed linens. This is the coolest place for romance ever! Sweet!

Note to self # 2: Convert Chamber into 'Vader Love Shack.' with bed

Yes! If this were Heaven then he was a truly happy man.

He couldn't help touching her hair and her delicate hands. He wanted to make sure he wasn't dreaming. He took a peek under the blanket. Man! It was good to be the Dark Lord today!

"Where am I?"

'_Doh!'_ He woke her.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

"Yes." Isabel stretches and yawns. She lets her head hit the headrest again

"You're beautiful when you sleep"

"Oh, God! You watched me? For how long?"

"All night."

"Aren't you tired?"

"I recover fast."

"What time is it?"

"Early. Go back to sleep" He kisses her on her forehead then leaves the chamber.

Anakin has a meeting this morning. He jumps in the shower then gets dressed. He walks over to the chamber where Isabel is sleeping. Her hair flows over the headrest near the opening. Anakin leans over to kiss her.

"I'll be back."

"Oh, I should leave."

"You won't make it pass the Imperial Security. Wait for me here. I'll take care of everything. I promise. Go back to sleep"

He closes the meditation Chamber then leaves the office.

A few moments later, Isabel turns on her back and look up at the ceiling of the chamber. It is actually very peaceful. She decides to position herself in the center of the recliner to get comfortable. When she tries to turn her head it is stuck. She cannot move from the edge of the recliner. Her hair is stuck between the two halves of the chamber. She realizes she will have to remain like this until her rescuer returns.

**A Jedi, Two Droids and a Baby**

Luke has the day off from his training with Obi-wan. He stops by his father's office to pick up a data card with some important records. R2D2, C3PO accompany him inside the office.

"Master Luke, your father asked you to deliver the data yesterday. He's going to be quite upset."

"Relax, Threepio, I'll deliver it as soon as we leave here."

R2D2 is saying something. Luke answers him.

"Oh, that was from last night. Gladys will have someone take it away. And don't touch anything"

C3PO walks over to the Meditation Chamber. He tilts his head and walks to the side. She gasps as he sees a long clump of dark hair hanging from the sealed part of the sphere. Artoo lets out several frantic

squeaks and a whistle. C3PO is hysterical.

"Oh, Dear! That cyborg converter is growing hair…" The droid comes closer. "Oh, Heavens it ate someone! Master Luke! This creature, it's sheer evil"

Elmo finds the pink handbag and opens it. "What's this?" "Oooh, candy!"

Luke grabs the handbag. "Put that back! Go wait outside in the reception area"

C3PO and R2D2 study the hair hanging from the chamber.

"Oh, Artoo …please…tell me it's not…it can't be..."

R2 does a DNA analysis and begins to chirp frantically. CP3O freaks out.

"Our dreaded fears have come true! He's killed Mistress Isabel! Aaaaaaaah. The horror! She was so sweet. Such a lovely lady. Life cut short by a maniacal Sith Lord."

Luke walks over to see what the droids are hysterical about. He presses a button on the chamber.

"Isabel. It's Luke."

From inside she hears his voice over the COM link

"Oh, hi, Luke."

"Are you ok in there?"

"'I'm ok…just sort of stuck…"

CP3O makes a sarcastic remark, "Poor girl, she's afraid to tell us how terrible it really is. She doesn't want us to feel badly for her fate. She was such a brave one. The darling girl"

Luke rolls his eyes. He speaks to Isabel on the COM link

"Ok….I'm going to open the chamber…let me know when you're ready. I'll open it slowly to give you a moment…you know." Luke blushes then looks around the room. The door to his father's office is open.

"Okay. You can open it…."

Suddenly Luke hears Isabel

"Ahhh! Who are you?"

Luke panics.

"Isabel? What's going on? I'm coming in."

Luke accelerates the opening of the chamber. He is surprised at what he sees. Isabel is wrapped in the white thermal blanket holding a conversation….

"So, how old are you?"

"Three…this many"

"Where do you come from?"

"I don't know"

"Are you here with Luke?"

"Yes. You're pretty!"

"Thank you. You're cute."

"Tickle me! Ahahahahaaa!"

Luke scratches his head and whispers to himself, "I can't believe what I'm seeing." He raises his voice. "Everyone, lets' go! Move it! Elmo, didn't I tell you to wait outside?"

C3PO turns to Isabel as she steps out of the chamber. "We're so relieved to see you're alright, Mistress Isabel. We were all terrified and feared for your safety."

"Thank, you, Threepio. That means a lot to me." She goes to the closet and finds her dress. "Oh, he's so sweet. He even put it on a hanger."

Luke escorts Elmo and the Droids outside. Gladys has not yet arrived to the office.

The droids are discussing the whole incident.

"What was Master Ani thinking when he imprisoned her in that evil contraption? It's just unconscionable. I can't believe he's still holding a 10 year old grudge…"

Artoo says something in response. C3PO is shocked.

"He did what? You mean she wanted him to do this? She liked it? …. I think she was brainwashed! That's impossible! Mistress Isabel would never do such a thing. He does that Jedi mind trick thing, you know…… Artoo, you shouldn't say such things…..Well, whatever she did, 'HE' put her up to it. The man is twisted and EVIL!"

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To be continued……Next chapter:_ 'Dirty Old Men'_

**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours for the next story. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**


	38. Chapter 38Dirty Old Men and Super Troope

_Chapter 38 'Dirty Old Men'_

'_A Kiss by a Sith is Quite Continental But Jedi's are a Girl's Best Friend'_

'_What's My Name, SITH?"_

'_Lover man, oh Where Can You Be?'_

'_One Order 66 Coming Up'_

Isabel takes a shower and gets dressed. Luke and his _'Rescue Squad' _are waiting outside in the waiting area near Gladys's desk.

Isabel checks herself once more in the large mirror in the refresher. She grabs her pink purse and meets Luke & Co. in the waiting area.

Luke smiles when he sees her, then opening a rucksack, he kneels on the floor. "Get in."

"But I don't want to"

"I said get in. We don't have time to fool around like this. Get in or I'll let the Jawas get you."

"Nooo! I don't want to get in the pouch. It's dark in there."

Luke has had enough.

"Get in the pouch now!"

Isabel touches Luke's hand. She leans over and smiles. "Elmo, if you get inside the pouch, I'll carry you. How's that?"

"Yaa!"

Luke is apologetic.

"Isabel, you don't have to do this."

"I don't mind. Are you sure you can get me out of here? I was going to wait for your father but I'm not sure when he'll be back."

"I'll get you out. I have a guest pass but they'll probably ask you for your entry pass and that one expired last night."

"And if we don't get clearance?"

"Then you'll have t wait for my father. It might be a little awkward if you run into Gladys."

"Why, because she saw me in this dress yesterday?"

"No, because she thinks my father is a saint. He's got her fooled. I love my dad but he's no saint. You should know that."

The group finally leaves the office. They head down the corridor pass the suite offices belonging to Governor Tarkin. A group of storm troopers are patrolling the halls. They pass by and notice Isabel. They stop.

"Let me see your identification."

Luke takes charge.

"Isabel, I'll handle this." He speaks to the trooper questioning Isabel. "My father works here. She has clearance. He waves his hand in front of the Trooper requesting Identification. "You don't need to see her identification."

"Actually, we do"

Luke is wondering what is happening. This works during practice in Jedi training, why not now? He tries again.

"These are not the droids you're looking for"

"What? We don't care about the droids, and son, stop waving your hand in my face; you're starting to piss me off."

Luke is getting nervous. Suddenly, Isabel steps in front of Luke and smiles at the trooper.

"I'm sorry, I don't have my building pass but I have my work I.D. Mind if I sit here and look though my purse for it?"

The Storm trooper is thrown off guard by her request.

"Uhm..sure..why not?"

She sits on a bench in the hallway and crosses her legs. The other storm troopers tilt their helmet-covered heads. Their blasters go limp at their sides. She cheerfully shows them her University I.D.

The head trooper examines the I.D. card for a moment. He hesitates again.

"Uhm..do you have another photo of yourself?"

"Sure…here's one. Is this okay?"

The trooper snaps it away from her and looks at it. He shows the other troopers. They confer. Luke turns away and rolls his eyes grinning. The trooper returns the photo to Isabel.

"Nice Picture. You can go about your business."

'Thank you, soldier. You're doing a wonderful job protecting the Empire."

"Gee, thanks! He waves for the other troopers to march on. They talk to one another. "Wow, she was hot. How do we get one of those?"

Another trooper ponders. "I don't know. We never see any on the space station. We never even get entertainment on the battlefield. I heard about one planet that has something called a USO tour. I wonder if the Emperor will do anything like that here for us."

"Where did you hear that?"

"I saw it in a copy of a magazine called FHM in the trash compactor on the space station."

"Then it can't be true. They don't sell that in the magazine section at the PX.

Luke and Isabel continue walking down the hall.

"Isabel, what did you show them?"

"A high school graduation photo."

**NOT SO FAST, MY YOUNG JEDI**

As Luke and Isabel turn the corner the Emperor is walking in the opposite direction with his bodyguards. He is returning to his office. There is no way Luke and Isabel can pass by without detection. Suddenly they feel a presence behind them. Two red cloaked Royal Guards block any possible way out. The emperor stops and smiles.

"Why, Master Luke, what good fortune to run into you so early this morning."

"Your Excellency, Good morning."

Palpatine turns to Isabel. He smiles insipidly. His presence gives her the creeps but she manages not to let it show. "And who might this lovely vision be? I don't believe we've been properly introduced."

Luke steps in front of Isabel.

"She's a close friend of the family, your Excellency. I was giving her a tour of my father's office."

"A civilian getting a tour? Your father is being quite generous."

"He wants to show the Empire in a positive light, Your Excellency."

The Emperor side steps Luke until he is firmly face to face with Isabel.

"What is your name, child?" He takes her hand and kisses it.

"Isabel Nor, Your Excellency."

"Lord Vader is a very lucky man. He also has a good eye for a beautiful woman. I'm returning from a meeting why don't you and Master Luke join me for breakfast? I'm sure you haven't eaten, my dear. Your hands are so delicate and soft."

"Thank you. I try to keep them away from harsh objects."

Palpatine smiles and gently pats her hand.

"Shall we? Oh, you may leave that bag and the droids here."

Isabel insists on holding onto the bag.

"If I may, your Excellency, I would rather hold onto the rucksack."

"If you must"

Luke and Isabel are lead into the Emperor's chambers. They are seated. Palpatine looks at the rucksack on Isabel's lap. A galley attendant enters carrying a tray of food into the room. Palpatine points to the rucksack instructing one of the Royal Guards to take it.

"Please. Place it on the floor."

"But, I don't think…"

"On the floor. Enjoy your breakfast. Yes. That's it." He turns his attention to Luke. "So, Master Luke, we meet again. I hear you and one of my young interns had lunch with you last week."

"We sat at the same table, Your Excellency."

'Mara Jade, nice girl. She has lots of spirit. I like that in an intern. You could lean from her, young Skywalker. I've known you since you were a small boy. I have advised you over the years when I could ... I am very proud of your accomplishments."

Luke interrupts.

"I believe that's my father you are referring to, Excellency."

"Oh. Well… I suppose you're right. Luke, I want us to be friends…."

"I want to be friends!"

Luke and Isabel cover their faces. Elmo has escaped the rucksack and is now sitting on the Emperor's desk. He has his thumb in his mouth as he picks up a small paperweight holding down a list of _'Executive Orders 55 to 66' _He looks at the Emperor.

"_What's your name? And what's this thing?"_

The Emperor is caught off guard. Isabel and Luke are trying not to laugh.

"What?"

"_This!"_

"Uhm... It's a paperweight"

"_What does it do?" _In the meantime all of Palpatine's papers are flying off the desk. The Emperor is annoyed. He tries to scramble to gather his _'Top Secret' _documents.

"It holds papers down." The Emperor angrily grabs the paperweight and tries to place it back on the stack of documents.

"How old are you? I'm this many" Elmo holds up three of his four fingers.

The Emperor is indignant. "I beg your pardon?"

"It's not a trick question. How old are you?"

The Emperor is becoming infuriated. He had no patience to deal with this belligerent baby Muppet. Isabel is about to call Elmo back but Luke is enjoying the moment. Elmo holds up a paper.

"Read!"

"Read? Those are personal papers. Who are you?"

"I'm Elmo. Do you have Plasma TV?"

"I-I…"

"I bet you're old. You're a million years old! Hahahaaa! Tickle me!"

"This is preposterous! I am not tickling you."

"I'll cry….. Tickle me!" The Emperor half-heartedly begins to tickle Elmo. "hahahahhaaa! Now read."

"This isn't for children, my little red friend"

"Why? It has numbers on it…See? 6-6 …Do you watch '_Sesame Street'_?" Elmo puts his thumb in his mouth again.

"No."

"How come?"

The emperor is about to throw dark lightning at Elmo. Isabel grabs him off the desk. Papers are flying.

She apologizes.

"He really needs to go now. Ahmm…" She stuffs Elmo back in the rucksack. As she does this, Anakin walks in.

"Your Excellency, I was walking by and heard voices I recognized. I hope my son and Miss Nor haven't been any trouble."

"No..no..." The Emperor pats his face from exhaustion. He recovers and manages to smile. Anakin, I want to congratulate you. Miss Nor is a lovely young lady. You must be very happy. Hmmmm…well…"

Anakin gathers Luke, Isabel and the rucksack.

"We'll let you get back to your work, Master."

"Yes" Palpatine takes Isabel by the hand once more and kisses it. "Isabel, please, you have permission to visit me anytime, my dear. Tell me dear, do you know the ways of the Force?"

"No, only child care management."

"Pity" He's got no takers to the Dark Side.

Anakin jumps in. "Gotta Go."

They leave the Emperor's chambers.

**LATER** –

The Emperor has storm troopers and Royal Guardsmen searching his office. He is furious.

"Find it! It must be around here somewhere!"

**STILL LATER -**

Back at the Skywalker residence. Anakin removes Elmo from the rucksack. As he hangs the bag on a door hook something catches his eye, He removes a crumpled sheet of paper. He grins.

"Well, well. What have we here? He sits on the living room sofa. Elmo climbs up onto the sofa.

"Read!"

"Ok" Anakin begins to read the sheet covered with crayon scribble over the type. "_'Executive Order 66…'"_

To be continued……Next chapter:_ 'Get a Room'_

**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours for the next story. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**


	39. Chapter 39 Get A Room

Chapter 39

'_Pimp My Ride – Anakin's New Toy'_

'_Get A Room'_

'_Electric Hips Sink Ships'_

It has been several days since the incident in Palpatine's office. Anakin has contacted everyone on Palpatine's 'Executive Order 66' _Hit List_. His secret plan was set in motion.

Isabel has been away at a Child Psychology Professionals conference. She is on her way back home. She hails an air taxi; suddenly a shiny new red customized luxury airspeeder pulls up ahead of the taxi she has just hailed.

"Would you like to go for a ride little girl?" It is Anakin. He hops out of his new speeder and holds the door open for her. He hands the baggage handler a tip after Isabel's bags are placed in the trunk.

"I don't know…you could be a felon."

"No, just your local Sith Lord." He kisses her. "Get in."

She grins. "Nice speeder. What do you call this color?" She gets in.

"'_Sith Red'_." He takes his place in the driver's seat. "Where to, Milady?"

"I'm going home. Where are you heading?"

"You'll find out soon enough."

Isabel examines the details of the car. She grins. "Did you order this from the fire department? It's really red."

"I've grown fond of the color."

"What does _'Mustafar Red'_ look like?"

"Now that hurt. Why did you have to go there?"

"Are you really hurt?"

"No." He laughs.

"So, does this thing come with a siren?"

"Oh, you've got a lot to say since our last meeting. What's gotten into you? You dis my ride. You missed me, didn't you? That's it. I bet you did" He leans over to kiss her again.

"I sure didn't miss this car…I saw it two galaxies away. I thought there was an accident at the airport."

"You little snob. I need to teach you a lesson."

"What's that? Not to accept rides from ambulance drivers?"

Almost an hour later a voice is blasting over a blow horn:_ 'License and registration please?'_ An officers' flashlight scans the vehicle.

Anakin squints as the light shines in his face. He places his hand above his eyes to get a look at the owner of the voice.

"How are you kids doing this afternoon? Young lady, do you know this man? How old are you? Is he bothering you? Damn this car is red!"

"Han, put the blow horn down, he's making that face again." Leia grabs the flashlight from Han then looks in the car. She smirks. "You two reliving your teen years? Is the drive-in closed? Go upstairs and make out in your own room. The rest of the family has to use this docking bay. Take your young girlfriend and knock yourselves out. I was wondering why the floodlights in the bay were dimmed."

Anakin speaks before thinking. Too late, here it comes:

"She's not _that_ young."

"What?" Isabel returns a scowl at Anakin. She slips her shoes back on and grabs her purse. She lets herself out of the speeder.

Leia looks at her father who is still sitting in the drivers' seat. He watches Isabel walk off towards the entrance of the docking bay of the house.

"Dad, go get her. You can't let her walk away like that."

"Oh, I like it when she walks away. Makes me remember why I fell in love with her in the first place. Nice view." He raises an eyebrow and makes a crooked smile as he backs up the speeder.

Han watches as Isabel is walking away. "I can see what you mean, Mr.'V'" Anakin and Leia both look at him as if he had just eaten a Jawa. "

Anakin smiles.

"Besides…." He starts the speeder and drives it in reverse. "She won't get far. Excuse me"

Leia slaps Han on the head.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"I've got my eye on you!"

"What did I do? You women are so sensitive!"

Anakin's speeder catches up with Isabel. She is still walking away and ignoring him.

"You keep walking as fast as you are something's bound to fall off"

"Bite me!"

"Well, if you'll only slow down…awww come on! 'bel! Woman, don't make me grab you and throw you in this car."

"I'd rather jump than ride in that speeder."

"You were making out with me in this speeder a few minutes ago. 'bel, Honey…come on…don't be like that…"

Han and Leia are heading toward the door to enter the house. Han puts his arm around Leia.

"Who do you think is going to win in this battle of wills?"

"Isabel's pretty good at knowing how to mess with his head now but my dad will eventually blow a gasket and drag her back in the speeder. Two control freaks. A match made in Heaven." They go inside.

Anakin is still trying to cajole Isabel to stay. "'Bel, I still have your luggage in the trunk. You're not going to leave without your luggage. Are you?"

Isabel stops. "Hand me my luggage, please."

"''Bel, be reasonable. It was a joke. Come on. Stay."

She places her hands on her hips. "You can't make me."

Five minutes later Anakin bursts through the front door carrying the luggage in one hand and Isabel over his shoulder. Han and Leia scurry to get themselves together as Anakin walks in. They stand in the kitchen doorway. He doesn't look at them as he speaks. Instead he heads directly for the master bedroom.

"I hope some sort of food preparation is going on in there, Leia. And it had better not be a _'teen' _sandwich, Mr. Solo."

Anakin is out of sight. Han looks at Leia.

"Did he knock her out?"

"Let's just say, she was gently subdued. She's fine"

Several hours later Leia and Han are sitting in the living room. They are eating popcorn.

Luke comes home. He announces his arrival.

"Hello, Im home!" He walks into the living room. He sees Han and Leia seated as if they are awaiting a big event. Luke looks around the room. "What's going on?"

Leia grins. She leans over to Luke, "Dad and Isabel have been holed up in the bedroom since they came home this afternoon. They haven't come up for air since they went in there.'

"What are you doing?"

"We're timing them."

Han laughs.

"Maybe he doesn't know what to do."

Luke laughs, "Oh I think he knows a lot."

Han makes one of his typical sarcastic remarks. "Can't he give the girl a break? What's the time, Leia?"

"Five hours. Fifteen minutes."

"They're asleep."

"Those two are not asleep. I can feel it."

"Okay, now they're just showing off!"

Luke decides to sneak up to the bedroom door to listen. He hears his father's voice:

"_Yes, master….it's lost? That's impossible. Something that large can't go undetected. What do you mean it's my fault? _Luke hears a breathing noise. _Now you listen to me, I worked my ass off for you and you don't appreciate it. There's always a problem. Don't think that because I'm in this situation I'm stuck with you for life. I could walk out on you tomorrow. This relationship is over."_

Luke runs back to Leia and Han. He has a worried look on his face.

Leia is concerned when she sees Luke walk into the room. He sinks into the armchair.

"Luke? What is it?"

"Leia, after all that we went through to bring them together…they're breaking up."

"No… Oh, Luke."

Luke runs his fingers through his hair. He looks devastated. "Our trust fund is in jeopardy. He'll be pounding out numbers on that data pad any day now."

Han thinks of something. He looks over at Leia. "Does this mean he's going to start remembering things like me being in your room? We just got the Dark Lord laid and happy. This is awful for _me_."

"Han! My father is going through a difficult time. This isn't about you! Luke, we're going to be destitute!

In the bedroom Anakin and Isabel are on the bed. He is sitting at the foot of the bed painting her toenails and venting about his job. Apparently a star fighter went missing under his watch and the Emperor blames the situation on Anakin's loss of focus due to the change in his personal life. Isabel listens intently as she twirls a lock of her hair. Anakin blows on her freshly painted toes then continues to speak.

"Anyway, that's what I would have said to him but I don't want to do anything stupid. You must think I'm a coward for not speaking up to him."

"No. Not at all. The man is certifiable. He isn't going to cut you a break. How long has it been? Eighteen years, Anakin. What happened to you and your family was terrible."

"I'm glad I hired you when I did. You were the best thing to happen to me and the children after…"

"Padmé. It's okay, Anakin. I don't mind. You can talk about her."

"It's not ok. I have trouble letting go, I know". Anakin blows the nail lacquer on her other toes. She curls her toes at the touch of his breath on them. She giggles. "Want me to do that again?"

"No….It'll make me crazy. Stop! No more…." She is giggling.

"You're ticklish like a little friend of ours." He starts to tickle her. She goes crazy and screams. There is a loud thump. In an effort to get away from him she gets caught in the sheet she was using to cover herself and falls out of the bed. Anakin is concerned, and leans over to make sure she is alright. "'Bel, honey, are you okay?"

"Owwwh! One of my toes has a smudge. You'll have to paint it again."

"'Bel, I don't think this stuff is safe, I'm getting woozy from the fumes."

"Why do you think I don't do my own nails?"

Anakin is quiet for a moment. Isabel crawls back into bed. "What is it, Anakin?"

"The kids think were in here breaking up or having marathon sex. Those eavesdroppers! We shouldn't disappoint them. Which one would you prefer? Option number two is more fun for me."

"Will you finish doing my toes when you're done?"

"I wouldn't miss the honor..."

"Cool. I've got to think of some other stuff to get you to do."

"I must really love you to let you get away with this crap. You're destroying my reputation as the Dark Lord. I'm going to lose my street credibility as a badass. Well, what are you waiting for? The marathon is about to begin. Assume the position!"

Back in the living room Luke fills Leia and Han in on the details. Luke is heartbroken. He had such high hopes for his father. He didn't want his father to grow old and alone. He wanted to help in anyway possible. He was tired of being grounded by his father every week. He is worried.

"I think they're fighting now. Poor Isabel. He must be giving her a hard time. Think we should knock on the door and get her out of there? Han, you're bigger than we are. You go."

"Thanks but no thanks, Luke. Getting choked, poisoned, beaten at Corellian Handball, which was humiliating, and encased in carbonite, is all the fun one guy can take in a year. I'll pass on this one, you cowards. I thought you '_Bobbsey Twins'_ were supposed to be so strong with the Force! Hey, wait…I got an idea…..Hey, Goldenrod!"

C3PO walks in from the balcony. "Yes, Captain Solo?"

"C3PO, we want to commission you to perform a great duty on behalf of your master and mistress of the house."

"Of course! I would do anything for Master Luke and the Princess. I'm trained in all forms of protocol…"

Han stands and puts his arm around the droid's shoulder. "Yeah, whatever. Here's what you've got to do…"

To be continued…._'Crash Test Dummies'_

**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours for the next story. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**


	40. Chapter 40 Crash Test Dummies

_Chapter 40_

'_Crash Test Dummies'_

'_War & Remembrance'_

C3PO put on his brave droid face and begins his journey to confront the Dark Lord of the house. It was his destiny. Artoo decides to accompany his colleague, not so much for moral support and back up but for sheer comic relief.

As Threepio approaches the door to the master bedroom, he hears ungodly sounds of terror and cries of distress.

"Oh, Dear! He's killing her!" He realizes the door is ajar. He recognizes Anakin from the back in the bed. "He's yelling at her!"

'_Who's your daddy?'_

Threepio angrily turns to Artoo and whispers, "He's asking about her father. He knows full well who her father is! I think he's pounding her for information, Artoo. Look at him. He's an animal…He's using her as his personal mosh pit! We've got to do something….."

R2D2 chirps something to Threepio. The protocol droid dismisses whatever Artoo has to say.

"What are you talking about? If we wait, it may be too late for Mistress Isabel. We've got to save her! You go first, Artoo." Artoo makes another comment. Suddenly Threepio scoffs at Artoo's advice…Well! Be that way! I can't believe you would let me walk into the line of fire. What was that remark earlier when you said _'you had my back'_?"

It was starting out as a beautiful romantic moment. However, in the throes of passion, there is a _'Great big metallic disturbance in the Force.'_

Isabel screams. Anakin laughs, "You're a real screamer today…hold on, honey, I'm just getting started." Isabel is pushing him away knocking him on his back. She grabs the sheet. Anakin finally realizes he is not the one to make her scream. He is angrier than a Tasmanian devil.

"You!"

Threepio is terrified but decides it's now or never to save Isabel's life, "Release her you dog from Hell!"

Anakin lunges across the bed for the droid. Isabel tries to hold Anakin back. "I'll kill you, you metallic pain in the…….."

"Anakin, stop!"

"Isabel, let go of me! He's headed for the scrap yard!"

"No! Don't you touch him. Calm down, Anakin." She uses her skills as a child therapist to soothe his nerves. Anakin is breathing heavily.

"Can't I just reach out and touch...? Talk...I meant talk! Please?"

"No, sweetie. Just relax for a moment." She rocks him in her arms. Threepio is standing in the middle of the room not knowing what to do next. Anakin still wants to rattle the droids' circuits but Isabel manages to stop him. "Breathe in….breathe out….there you go…better?"

Anakin nods in the affirmative but his eyes are still glued on the hapless protocol droid. He grabs his robe and storms into the refresher. He lets out a primal scream as he stands under the cold shower.

In the bedroom, Threepio is still standing in the middle of the room. R2 is outside giggling. _'That know-it-all Threepio's going to really get it now. Hehehehee'_

Isabel continues to hold the sheet up against her body. She points to the door. Threepio gets the message and closes the door.

Back in the living room the twins and Han are still milling around waiting for an outcome. Han is bracing his ears for the annual _'Tossing O' the Droid.' _Fragments of metal should be hurling through the Skywalker residence like pieces of meteor rock any moment now.

Leia sits on the sofa tapping her foot. She grabs the bowl of popcorn from Luke who has all but finished it. She gives him a dirty look and slaps him on the head.

"Ouch! Leia, cut it out."

"You could have started another batch. This thing could last all night."

"Fine, I'll go make some more."

"It's been twenty minutes.

Luke is holding the empty bowl. He turns to look in the direction of the stairs leading to the bedrooms.

"What's going on up there?"

Han smiles. 'Why don't you go up and investigate, Junior? You're 'Daddy's little prince. You get to save the nanny you've admired from afar…. That's hot…weird but hot…. I could dig you falling for her….Did you like it when she served you your _Weechee Flakes_ in the morning before school?"

"Han, how would you like it if I told my father about your little unauthorized visit the other night?"

Leia throws a pillow at Luke. "Luke, don't you dare!"

Han gloats, "See, you sister will defend me. Her word against yours….."

Leia gives Han a dirty look. "Shut up, Han. Leave him alone. I wonder what's going on up there."

She looks in the direction to the sleeping suites up the steps.

There are more discussions in the master bedroom. Isabel is still on the bed with the sheets wrapped around her. She is chatting with C3PO. He is sitting on the bed and is in deep conversation.

"So I said, '_A battle? There must be some mistake! I'm programmed for etiquette, not destruction!' _It was a difficult time during The Clone Wars. Total chaos, it was. You were much too young to remember that."

"I was a young schoolgirl at that time."

C3PO gently pats her on the hand. Yes, you were. Oh, here's the _'old_' Master now!" Aside to Isabel, "I do hope he's feeling better. Will you be alright?"

"Thanks, Threepio. He's ok. He's just a bit stressed." She smiles over at Anakin as he stands in the doorway of the refresher in his robe and pajama bottoms. The shower helped but not enough that he would tolerate the droid sitting on the bed next to his girlfriend. Isabel had been listening to Threepio chatter while Anakin was cooling down in the shower. She is on her elbow, resting her chin in her hand. "Hi, Sweetie, feeling better?"

"Peachy." He walks over to the bed staring down at the droid who had become quite comfortable resting his back against the pillows. C3PO's feet were on the bed. Anakin folds his arms as he approaches the bedside. C3PO looks up at Anakin as if to smile. Anakin is waiting. Suddenly, in one swift swipe of his right hand he knocks the droid's legs off the bed. C3PO is still looking up at Anakin. Anakin's eyes widen. Finally Threepio gets the message and gets up. Anakin takes his place on the bed. "Am I interrupting something?"

"Threepio was just telling me about his heroics during the Clone Wars. I never heard him tell me that story when I was working for you."

"It's news to me too." Anakin cracks a crooked smile.

"So, Honey, you know this wasn't his fault. He thought he was helping. I don't believe Threepio would have barged in like he did if he wasn't instructed to do so."

"Then can I hurt Han Solo?"

"Why just him?"

"Just because."

"You don't have to hurt anyone but you can still get even."

"But that's no fun."

In the living room Luke, Han and Leia are on their second bowl of popcorn. They are about to give up until there is a crashing sound. coming from Anakin's wing of the sleeping quarters. There is a rattling sound. The twins and Han stand together at the foot of the steps as a rolling metallic object is heading in their direction.

'_Thump, thump, clank, thump!'_

It is R2. R2's lights are out and there is no beeping. Luke almost cries.

'R2's dead!'

Han looks down at the 'fallen' astromech droid. "I'm going up there! Why can't he pick on someone his own size?"

Leia holds Han back.

"No, Han. It's too dangerous. My father is doing this. He'll kill you too."

"You're right. You go."

Suddenly the gold metallic covering of C3PO's rear-end hurls towards them and lands at Han's feet.

"Goldenrod's a goner."

Finally there are sounds of a scuffle and more metallic-like crash sounds. Now voices:

"_I know you cheated on me! I thought you loved me!"_

"_Anakin, please. No. Believe me, it's not what you think. Ouch! My eye! Anakin, how could you!"_

In the room Isabel is removing a stray eyelash as she continues her dialogue.

Luke panics and starts up the stairs. "We've got to help, Isabel."

Anakin's voice is heard from behind the door.

"I've trusted you for the last time. You brought this on yourself. Now you will pay! Get out of my house!"

"Oh, Anakin, You're the only one. I love you. You were the best!"

In the master bedroom Isabel is now wearing a silk nightgown and robe. She is sitting in the armchair. She slams a silver serving tray against the wall while eating a piece of fruit that was once on it. Anakin stops for a second and looks at her. He whispers.

"Wait a minute; you used those lines earlier while we were…"

"Hey, after three times in a row, a girl starts running out of things to say, Anakin."

"So what you were doing earlier, you were faking it?"

"Can we discuss this later? You're such a baby sometimes."

Anakin can't believe what he's hearing. Isabel waves the tray in his direction to him to continue their 'performance'. C3PO lets out a bloodcurdling scream as he stands near the door across from Anakin.

"Mistress Isabel, this is actually lots of fun. It sounds so real!" Anakin points to him indicating he is coming for him, _'for_ _real',_ later.

The children rush upstairs and begin pounding on the door. Leia is hysterical.

"Daddy, please! Stop it! Don't do this. You can work this out!"

Finally, the door opens. Anakin is face to face with his children and Han. Anakin steps outside and holds the door closed. Han greets Anakin with a two-fingered salute.

"Sorry to bother you, Sir. The kids were a little concerned…."

Luke tries to poke his head through but Anakin nudges him away.

"My I help you?"

"Daddy, where's Isabel?"

"She's in the room. Why?"

Isabel steps outside. Leia and Luke see her smiling. They realize they have been duped. Leia is infuriated. C3PO walks out of the room. He covers his bare backside with the silver serving tray.

"Pardon me." He walks down the hall to meet up with R2. Leia shoves her father.

"Daddy, how could you?"

"Well then don't eavesdrop. You two haven't learned anything."

Han interrupts. "Sir, I tried to tell them it was wrong but they wouldn't listen…"

"Mr. Solo?"

"Yes, Sir?"

"Get out of my house."

"Yes, Sir"

C3PO and R2D2 compare notes about their_ 'performances'_

"That was fun. I was thoroughly enjoying myself….what do you mean your role was more difficult. All you did was roll yourself down the hallway. I had dialogue and costume changes. You little rusted toolbox!" He bangs R2 on his dome head.

"Threepio, there you are."

"Why, Master, Ani, I thought you were about to retire for the night. That was an amazing performance you gave this evening. You should seriously think about a career change in the performing arts. Miss Isabel was quite good as well."

"Come with me." Anakin throws his arm over Threepio's shoulder like old buddies.

"Where are we going? Another performance?"

"In a manner of speaking…I'm quite the athlete as well, you know. I like to throw things…."

To be continued… '_Too Good to Talk to Us Anymore?'_

_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours for the next story. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy**_


	41. Chapter 41Too Good to Talk to Us Anymore

_Chapter 41_

"_Peace Talks"_

"_I Love It When You Talk Dirty'_

'_Too Good to Talk to Us Anymore?'_

After a night of disruptions in his attempt to enjoy a romantic evening with Isabel, Anakin had to make up for 'lost' time. The morning was a lot better. He felt better. Poor Isabel didn't stand a chance. Her little remark from the night before had cost her dearly. _'Vader remembers everything, Darling!'_ It's a good thing she had the day off after returning from her conference. She was going to need the rest. He arranged for the servants to be available for her when she woke up. He had to go into the office today. It was good to be the Dark Lord.

He hopped in his 'Sith Red' speeder that Isabel hated so much. She didn't impress easily. She didn't care how much money a person paid for something. If it looked ostentatious and if it weren't functional she couldn't be bothered. Those 350 credit pair of designer shoes that hurt her feet didn't count because they made her legs look great. Call it a double standard all you want, a girls' got to have her shoes!

When she came into his hire all those years ago when the twins were little, she informed him that the deluxe yellow air speeder in the docking bay would not do as a vehicle to transport young children.

'What was he thinking?' she asked him. He got an earful from her as she read the court order to him. _'Where were the children going to sit?' _He was about to answer, 'the trunk?' He knew better than to give her flippant answers. She held the fate of his children in her hands.

The next day he had to purchase a YUV (Youngling Utility Vehicle). This was '_Not' _a cool ride for the Dark Lord of the Sith! How could he instill mortal fear into his minions when his mode of transportation had child safety restraints and _'Weechee'_ sip cups in the beverage holders? He came to realize it didn't matter because he had no social life anyway.

Every month Isabel had to write a report on his daily activities. Since he was prohibited from working, by order of the court, he had lots of free time.

'_Free time, my eye!'_ The 'free time was not to be used for personal recreation. He had to spend 90 percent of his time with the twins, which meant being available for parent –teacher meetings, school projects, sports and other activities. The other 10 percent was for anger management counseling. He was angry that he had to attend these classes. He was angry at the court-appointed _'quack'_ therapist who told him that a _'highly angry person can move closer to a middle range of anger in about 8 to 10 weeks through relaxation, and coping skills rehearsal.'_ He wanted to choke somebody!

The judge was no piece of cake either. Anakin was pretty much under 'house arrest.' This also meant no lightsaber, no blaster and no contact with his employer. The latter was a relief! He had an excuse not to talk to the Emperor. But his lightsaber! How could the judge do such a thing to a former Jedi Knight, a current Sith Lord! It was humiliating surrendering his custom-made weapon of choice, for Jedi and sith alike, to that the _'rent-a-cop' _in the weapons room of the Coruscant Imperial Courthouse.

The clerk at the desk laughed and showed the weapon to his colleagues. As the officers were goofing on the Dark Lord, the lightsaber ignited. In a panic to locate the switch, the clerk lost control of the weapon. The lightsaber blade scored the weapons holding capsules and seared the scalp off one of the officers. The officer recovered with minor scalp burns and only suffered the embarrassment of a lost toupee. Anakin was fined 3500 credits for not putting the safety clip on the weapon. After a protest filed by his attorney, Anakin was able to have the fine rescinded since the officers were negligent in the proper handling of a firearm.

One thing the court forgot about was Anakin's ability for mind control and reaching out with the Force. What he didn't do was use these powers in the courtroom. He could have but it would have been a vulgar display of power, and besides, he wanted to win his children back honestly. He may have been a Sith lord but he had integrity.

Isabel looked so beautifully angelic sleeping in his bed. She was always beautiful but she was all business twelve years ago. She barely cut him a break back then. Was this the reason he was so hostile towards her back then? She was just doing her job. He regretted that time. What a waste. He was a foolish man. Anakin kisses her gently on her forehead then quietly leaves the room. He had to meet with some people before heading to the office.

Anakin arrived twenty minutes late for a meeting room in the Nal Hutt Meridian Hotel and Spa located on the Outer Rim. He is followed by a battle droid who is carrying a stack of papers.

"Good morning, Gentlemen, I apologize for the delay. Let's get down to business." He takes a seat at the head of the table. "I trust you all received the top secret memo I sent last week. I believe it is important for the five families to meet to work out a peaceful solution to the battles between the five families so we can work together on a common goal. I asked General Lando Calrissian to join us as my consiglieri."

There s a knock on the conference room door. A heavy-set man wearing a baseball cap backward on his head and hockey jersey adorn with giant gold chains, pokes his head inside. "Hey, man, is this the '_Rap Wars_' conference?"

Anakin responds from across the table. "No, this is the 'Star Wars' conference. You want Suite _'Five-fiddy' downstairs on level 'B'._

"What level are we on now?"

"Level _ 'C' _Suite_ 'Six-fiddy'_

"_Death Row?"_

"_Death Star"_

"Did you have to check your weapons at the door?"

"Ah…yeah. Right guys?"

Gunray, Jabba and all the other Republic and Trade federation members nod in agreement. The man in the door accepts their answer.

"Thanks a lot, dog. Peace. Westside" He gives Anakin his_ 'gang sign' _Anakin responds in kind.

"Peace out, dog. Far Side." Anakin resumes his meeting.

The battle droid closes the door. All the bodyguard protecting Jabba and some of the other members at the table reveal the weapons they had been hiding behind them. Anakin places his lightsaber back on the table.

"So, as I was saying, we have much to discuss in the next few hours and I am sure you will all have questions, which will be answered after I lay out the plans for the New Order." Suddenly a voice from the far end of the table addresses Anakin.

"Are we going to be meeting through lunch?"

"Yes. That's why it's called an all day conference, Jabba"

"Yes, Gunray, Jr.?"

"How many breaks do we get? I'll need to check my email."

"Read the agenda that my battle droids passed out to you at the start of the meeting. Now…what is it, Duke Dooku?"

"Well, we all have an axe to grind with at least one other person in this room. How are we going to come to an agreement?"

"Well, if you would 'effing' let me finish talking for a moment, I'll explain! Don't give me that look; I know I decapitated your uncle Count Chocula."

"His name was Count Dooku."

"Gesundheit! Moving on….The Pod Race gambling and Casino Empire will continue to be managed by General Calrissian on Cloud City. In five years the Calrissian Cloud City family will be completely legitimate"

"Excuse, me, Lord Vader, wouldn't that be a conflict of interest?"

"What are you referring to, Lott Dod?"

"How can the General serve the Republic while managing a billion credit Casino Empire?"

"Thank you, Viceroy. Now where was I? Oh yes, Mr. Hutt, you can keep your slavery, gunrunning, spice-smuggling, and extortion operations. Since you want it so badly, I'll give you enough _'chain' _with which to choke yourself."

Anakin begins to presents his top secret plan to the attendees.

Meanwhile, back on Coruscant in the Imperial offices, there is a disturbance in the force. The Emperor is upset.

"There is a great disturbance in the Force. We have a new enemy"

"Whoosa that be, Sire?"

"Tabloid news reporters, There are at least three scandalous articles about me in the papers. They're all full of horrible stories about me. I am being blamed for that debacle General Grievous' flagship; they even tried to implicate me in forming a coo to take over the Empire. They accused me of putting a hit on members of the Jedi Order and members of the Trade Federation. Why is everyone out to destroy me? Tell me, Jar Jar?

"Maybe it's 'cause yoosa fulla dark evil and a sociopathic killa."

"But you know there's good in me, don't you, Jar Jar, my clumsy idiot Gungan?"

"Yousa have your good days and bad days, Sire."

"But I'm a nice guy. I let you drop off my Imperial robes at the dry cleaners. I didn't say a word when they came back with curtain rods through them. What have I done to deserve such treatment?"

"Youssa wantin' me to read the list, Sire?"

"No, no…never mind. I am at my wits end to find a way to get my public to understand me."

"What yousa needin, Sire, is sympathy from da peoples. When theysa seein' you all old and decrepit-like, everybody gonna feel big sorry for your mean ass."

"Is it possible to learn this power?"

"Not from a Jedi. Theysa already beluvved. Yoosa hated all over galaxy big time. Yoosa need image makeover and big time Hollywood publicist."

Back at the hotel, the conference seems to be going smoothly.

During a jawa juice and pastry break, Greedo's brother approaches Anakin who is alone in the corner. He is on a private call because he is almost whispering:

"…Is it hot? Really? What are you wearing? ….I love that outfit….get in the shower…are they wet?...You're killing me here…." He sees Greedo's brother standing close by, staring at him. Anakin is annoyed. His concentration is broken. "Hold on, honey something's in my way." He turns to look at Greedo's brother. "What is it? we're on a break, Go eat a donut, you'll feel better."

"I'm Greedo's older brother, Lord Vader, and I was stepped over! How come I didn't get a casino or a strip club on the Outer Rim?"

"That's how Jabba wanted it, Freedo. He's over there, take it up with him"

"It ain't the way I wanted it! I can handle things! I'm smart! Not like everybody says... like dumb... I'm smart and I want respect!"

"Freedo, why are you embarrassing yourself? This is not the time to bring up old history."

"Han Solo fried my brother. You let this man into your home?"

"Yeah, I heard about Greedo. He was as clumsy as he was stupid. He deserved to die. Listen, Freedo, don't you ever come to me about stuff involving my family. If you do, I'll send Solo to whale all over you. You understand? Now get out of my face, you disgust me." He resumes his comm. link conversation. "I'm here, babe…how are the _'girls'_? I wish I could be with you right now…Listen..I have to go meet and great some people. I'll see you soon. I can't wait to do some crazy stuff to…Got to go, these people are bothering me. Bye."

Back on Coruscant, Isabel is in the kitchen rinsing some tomatoes. She is about to prepare a salad. Anakin need never know.

Freedo walks away and approaches Jabba. Jabba is taken aback by some remarks Freedo is obviously making. Suddenly Jabba can be heard speaking to Freedo.

"Freedo, my boy, relax…I'm upset about Greedo too but we must move on. Do you fish? Hey, Bib Fortuna! Take Freedo fishing with you on the Dune Sea. He needs to relax."

After the meeting, Anakin makes a quick stop at his office on the way home. He hears a conversation going on:

'_Did he say "Thank you?'_

'_We never even got a bottle of wine. After all we did for him'_

The Force Ghosts of Mace Windu and Qui-Gon Jinn appear. Anakin rolls his eyes. He sits back in the chair at his desk.

"Now what?"

Mace sits on the sofa. He turns and sees Leia's stuffed Ewok toy. It looks disturbing to him. He turns it around so it faces the back of the sofa.

'_So, I guess you're the man now! Finally gets the woman he's been crying about all these years. You happy?'_

"Yes, Mace, I'm happy." He knows where this is going. He attempts to enter some information into his data pad.

Qui-Gon grins as he looks inside Meditation Chamber. He lays down in the recliner with hands folded behind his head. _"Ani, I can see how this would be a cool place to 'entertain' that special someone. This is really hot. Are these chambers available to the general public? You could make a bloody fortune! What are these buttons for?"_

Mace calls over to Anakin

'_Anakin, Answer the man's question! What's wrong, you can't talk to anybody now that you got a social life?'_

"I was busy. Sorry"

'_Sorry? That's all you have to say. Using all of our ghost hours on your ass watching you whine and moan.' _Mace imitates Anakin lamenting how his life is empty without Isabel.

'_Oh, Master, I love her so much. I 'eff'd up and now she's going to leave. What do I do, Master Windu?" (sniffs) 'Oh, I made so many mistakes. I'm listening more now. I'm trying to do better. What can I do to make things right?'_

Anakin looks up from his data pad. He is peeved and embarrassed. He can't believe they are mocking him. Qui-Gon turns his head to talk to Mace. He is still lying on his back in the chamber. He grins.

'_Mace, you should have seen the lights flickering on this thing that night. The outside of this chamber looked like a Sith mirror ball at a Dark Lords' disco palace. The display panel on this thing looked like an 'effing' distress signal from a Trade Federation Cruiser. Ol' Ani had this thing rockin' …Beep, beep, beep, beep….'_

Anakin tries to ignore them. Mace laughs and slaps his knee.

'Qui-Gon, man, you're too much. How much did you see?'

'_Not a damned thing. I wanted to afford them some semblance of privacy. I'm that kind of guy'_

'_Yeah, I know what kind of guy you are; you're a peeping Jedi, that's what you are.'_

'_Mace, you should have seen her. If I were still alive, I would have hit on her. But I have to give the boy credit. Ani's got some serious moves. He broke the poor girl. She never stood a chance. He flipped her like a Dex's Diner hotcake!'_

'_Well, it has been awhile. The man had a lot of backed up energy. I hope he gives her something better than flowers next time. She sacrificed herself for this fool. He's got enough scratch to buy her something nice'_

Anakin has tried to ignore the two ghosts but he is losing patience with their jokes at his expense. He continues to work on the data pad.

"You, know I'm still here, don't you?"

Mace folds his hands and looks across the desk at Anakin.

'_YES. We know you're still here, you ungrateful Jedi dropout'_

"I didn't 'dropout' I transferred."

He knows he will never get any work done until he faces his former masters. He pushes the data pad away and looks up. Qui-Gon is now sitting in one of the Gundarkian leather chairs facing the desk. Mace is comfortable where he is.

"Listen, I'm sorry for not 'calling you to formally thank you for what you've done for me. It's just that there's a lot of serious 'sith' going down lately and my mind has been elsewhere. Stuff I can't discuss here right now. The past couple of weeks with Isabel have been great. I'm really happy. Thank you for helping me find the right words to say to her…"

Qui-Gon interjects.

'_And don't forget how we helped with the lingerie'_

"Oh, yes. I mustn't forget that. Isabel must have thought I was some disturbed pervert when she caught me going through her things."

'_You mean your craziness was just an act?'_

"Yes…No! That's not what I meant. I just want to make her happy."

Mace speaks.

'_Oh, from what I understand, she's very happy.'_

"Where are you two getting all this information? You're not looking in on her are you?"

'_That's Qui-Gon's department. I don't do that stuff.'_

"So, are we good? I mean, have I thanked everyone I needed to thank? I don't want to leave anyone out. Any leftover Force ghosts I need to deal with? Speak now or forever hold your piece."

Qui-Gon giggles, _'He said, "Piece" heheheee!'_

Mace shakes his head at Qui-Gon's juvenile comment then responds to Anakin's flippant remark.

'_There's no need for sarcasm, Anakin. Don't think you're a badass just because you finally got laid. She could walk out on you tomorrow. Then we'll have to listen to you bawl like a baby all over again.'_

"I apologize, Master Windu."

'_Alright then…' _ He stands and nudges for Qui-Gon to prepare to leave but is intrigued by what Anakin has been doing on the data pad. He walks around the desk and stands over Anakin's shoulder. _'What the heck have you been tapping out on that pad all this time?' _He looks down at Anakin then cracks a gentle smile._ 'Look at you…aren't you 'Mr. Romance'? I guess our words haven't fallen on deaf ears after all. Very nice.'_

Qui-Gon looks at the screen and wrinkles his nose. _'You really think she'll like that?'_

Mace elbows Qui-Gon and gives him a look of disapproval. _'Qui-Gon, be quiet for a minute, you think you can manage that? You've got to start behaving more appropriately. You say some tactless 'sith' sometimes.'_

Anakin speaks without looking up. He is fixed on his little project. "All the time."

Mace watches as Anakin continues to work on the data pad. _'Anakin, pay attention to what you're doing. I'll handle this fool.'_

Anakin smiles, still not looking up, "Yes, Master"

He was glad to be speaking to his old masters again. The day wasn't a total loss at all. The Coruscant sun had set some time ago. The dark skies were clear and the silhouette of the Jedi Temple could be seen in the distance from Anakin's office window. The temple was surrounded by less scaffolding than the previous week. It was going to be beautiful again.

_To be continued…'You've Ruined a Perfectly Good Woman'_

_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours for the next story. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy**_

9


	42. Chapter 42 Ruined A Good Woman

_Chapter 42_

'_You've Ruined a Perfectly Good Woman'_

'_Meet Your Aunt Bunny'  
_

'_Poor Eliza – By Hoth, He's Got it!'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Anakin returns home very late that night after the conference and the few hours in his office with his former mentors. It was good company. He didn't really want to be alone. He was already missing Isabel who left the Skywalker house after dinner. Han, Luke and Leia enjoyed a dinner that she prepared. There was a note on the kitchen counter:

"_Dinner in fridge. You missed a great meal"_

_Isabel is still a wonderful cook._

_Leia_

Anakin wasn't really hungry. He opened the refrigerator and saw a prepared dish with his name on it. He placed the warming dish in the microwave. He grabbed a good bottle of wine and settled down at the family dinner table and lit a candle. It had been almost ten years since he had enjoyed a dinner that Isabel had prepared. Before Isabel the children were unwilling guinea pigs to the culinary horrors of C3PO and their own father! If the social worker were to visit and see this, the children would have been removed from the home in one fell swoop.

The children lost weight during the first few months with their father. Both Master and droid agreed that someone more skilled than they should be involved in food preparation. Anakin was already in deep Wampa scat as it was. Child starvation was a form of child abuse. Anakin would argue that be was forced by the courts to feed his children and that the courts should be responsible for the consequences. He would sue them because they knew he couldn't boil water!

It was comforting for him to sit down and enjoy this amazing food with a bottle of wine. He finished the bottle, cleaned up then went to bed. He slept well.

Morning –

Leia and Han were being as quiet as possible as she helped him sneak out of the house. If her father caught Han there, it would surely be curtains for the disgraced officer.

Anakin was on to them. He sensed a horrible presence in the house. There would be a confrontation Mr. Solo would soon regret.

In the parking bay Anakin lay wait between the Leia's silver speeder and one of the servant's vehicles. It was still early and the sun had not yet risen. A shadowy figure sprinted across the parking bay. 'I have you now' he thought to himself. He blocks the path of the intruder by leaping out from between the two vehicles.

"AHAAA! I HAVE YOU NOW…."

"Dad?"

"Son?"

Both: "What are you doing down here!"

Anakin is flustered, "Uhm…I asked you first."

"I'm going to my training with Obi-Wan."

"It's awfully early."

"Ahhh yeah… my usual time. I always leave at 6 in the morning."

"Oh… so, why were you running?"

"I wanted to beat the morning rush across town."

"Oh." He looks around trying not to look so obvious as he scans the area.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. Hey, Why don't we go out for breakfast before you meet Obi-Wan… my treat."

"Okay. As long as you're paying."

"I'll even drop you off at the training base."

"How will I get home if I don't have my speeder?"

"Oh. Well, I guess I'll meet you at Dex's Diner."

"Okay. Dad?"

"Yes?"

"Are you okay? You seem distracted."

Anakin looks confused as if he knows something is up but cannot quite put his finger on it. He smelled a Wampa and it was stinking up the place. "It's nothing. Let's go." He walks around to his speeder and gets inside.

Luke and his father head out of the bay for Dex's.

Back in the bay Leia walks across the parking bay and starts up her speeder. Han has been curled up on the floor of the vehicle. Leia looks at him and laughs. "Are you ok?"

He pulls himself up and sits in the passenger seat. "Now I am. I thought he would never leave. I was sure he was going to spot me."

"He was looking for your speeder. You were just lucky."

"You could have been grounded if he caught us."

"He knows it's useless to ground me. I'm a member of the junior senate, he would be embarrassed to tell them I'm absent because he grounded me. He wants me to be his little girl forever. It's not going to be easy for him to let go. On the other hand, Isabel is the perfect distraction. She totally messes up his focus. Luke could be on Cloud City at a strip club and he wouldn't have a clue. He seems to let Luke get away with more. I, on the other hand, am bound to honor the legacy of my mother. He doesn't want me to shame her name in the senate by aligning myself with a 'scruffy nerfherder'. He forgets that she sneaked off with him when he was a scruffy Jedi Padawan sand boy. He's such a hypocrite but I love the pain in the ass."

Han thinks for a moment then turns to Leia.

"Don't tell me anymore, I'm starting to develop a new respect for the old man. The only pleasure I get these days is to continually show up wherever he is and watch him get apoplectic at the very sight of me. But you run a close second on my 'happy list' " He leans in and kisses her on the temple. Leia smiles and continues to drive.

"Gee, thanks, Han. I love that I'm runner-up on your affection list. I lost to my father. Go figure" She smiles.

"Gotta love me. So what were you and Isabel up to yesterday in the kitchen? You chicks were laughing your heads off."

"My father called during a break at some conference he was attending. So, he's all worked up after getting together with Isabel he starts this phone sex conversation."

"That's weird; you're listening in on him? Leia, that's not right at all."

"So? it was hilarious. She's just playing along with him while she's rinsing tomatoes and chopping lettuce."

"But it's a guy's right to privacy….He doesn't need a couple of chicks goofing on him. Those calls are a man's right of passage...It's his God-given right …so I'm told…uhm…you should make a right turn here. I'm running late. Got to meet Chewie." He gives Leia a quick peck on the cheek, grabs his overnight bag and hops out for a quick getaway."

Han saw the look on her face and knew that there was some "'s_plaining_ to do" Where was a nice slab of carbonite when you needed it? He disappeared into the lobby of his condo. He hid behind a planter waiting for her to take off in her speeder. If she got out and started for the lobby after him, he was going to hide out until the coast was clear. Women!

After Luke's breakfast with his father he leaves to meet with Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan is late. He wanders around the temporary Jedi training facility. Not far from the camp is a pub. It was still too early for the pub to be open. He looks up and hears voices. One voice belongs to a woman. The other belongs to someone Luke recognizes. Luke back tracks his steps as he hears someone coming out the door. It is Obi-Wan. He is tying his robe. He is looking up at the apartment above the pub. A young woman leans over and blows him a kiss from her window. Obi-Wan smiles and pretends to catch the 'kiss'.

Luke is amused.

Luke knew Obi-Wan had women friends. He had actually met a few of them. They were all called _"Aunt"_ something. He was very young then and all he could think was, 'Gee, I've got a lot of Godmothers!'

He now looks back fondly as he recalled all of their names: _Aunt Bunny, Aunt Ginger, Aunt Kitty, Aunt Honey, Aunt Sugar, Aunt Candy and Sexy Mama._ He had no recollection of reading a story with a character called 'Sexy Mama' and the word 'sexy' didn't exist in any of the books in the children's library at home. 'Mama' would occasionally appear in a storybook about a baby duck and its mama duck or mama bear but never, ever did he come across a character with _'sexy_' and _'mama'_ in the same sentence. All of Obi-Wan's '_'dates' _had names of cuddly children's storybook animals or flavors. He was about 4 or 5 years old when the _"Aunt" _Train rolled into town. He does remember they were all very kind to him. They were very affectionate too. Luke remembers all the treats they would shower on him.

He would come home with lipstick kisses after Old Ben brought him back from his youngling Jedi training. Aunt Beru was always at the ready with a damp hand towel and soap when Luke would arrive home. Uncle Owen would have been furious. The only reason he tolerated the strange Jedi was because there was a court order handed down that Luke, by reason of his bloodline, had to be trained in the ways of the Jedi. Their days with the little boy were numbered. Owen didn't like it one bit but since Luke wasn't related to them by blood, they didn't stand a chance in the courts. Besides, Vader had a team of the best Imperial attorneys in the galaxy and a strong case. It was bad enough they had to shuttle Luke between Tatooine and Coruscant and then Naboo twice a month. Luke didn't mind so much. As a young child he thought of it as an adventure. So many people loved him and his sister. He felt fortunate.

This was a side of Old Ben the boy had not seen in recent years. Luke broke into a wide grin as his mentor backed away from the establishment and started up the street. He suddenly stops and turns. He sees his young padawan standing behind him with a smirk on his face.

"Luke, hello there!"

"Good morning, Master."

"I must apologize for being late. I had to tend to a friend who needed cheering up."

"I trust everything is better, Master."

"Much better, young Luke. For both of us."

"I'm happy to hear it, Master."

"Let's go start our training session, shall we?"

"Yes. By all means"

The padawan and Master Jedi walk through the doors of the Jedi Academy.

Anakin was having a good day. Palpatine was busy working with his new image consultant, the galaxy-renown Professor Henry Higgins. It was not going well at all. Anakin happened by the Emperor's quarters during the first session. This is what he heard:

"Now, try it again."

"The rain in Bespin falls mainly from the clouds"

"Again, _' The rain in Bespin falls mainly from the clouds'_"

"The rain in Bespin falls mainly from the clouds"

"Again"

"Didn't I say that?"

"But you didn't mean it. You have to say it like you really mean it…come on. I haven't all day. I have other appointments, Excellency."

The emperor sighs with much consternation. The price for fame and popularity is a bitch.

Anakin laughs his head off as he continues down the hallway.

That afternoon he finalizes some paperwork. He hands some documents to Gladys. She has something on her desk for him.

"Lord Vader, I was just about to buzz you. This package was just delivered."

"Why didn't you tell me? I was looking for this."

'I just did, Sir."

"Oh. Yes. You did. My apologies'"

"Apology accepted, Lord Vader." She smiles up at him as he takes the package. He smiles back and winks."

"That's my girl. Gladys, you're the best! I don't know what I would do without you."

"Oh, Lord Vader, you're too kind."

"But I meant it."

After several minutes of working at his desk, he gets up and leaves but not before asking Gladys to do him one more favor.

"Glady, would you please arrange to have a small bouquet of flowers delivered to the Emperor. I wrote a note for you to dictate verbatim to the florist."

"Is it the Emperor's birthday already, sir?"

"No. He just needs a bit of cheering up. Thanks, my dear."

"Have a lovely evening, Sir."

"You too, Gladys. Good night."

Half an hour later Anakin was at Isabel's apartment door. He smiles when he sees her face.

"Good evening, Master."

"Good evening , my little padawan maiden. Ready for training?"

She begins to giggle. "I'm sorry. I can't do this"

"Why not?"

"It makes me laugh."

"You're no fun." He kisses her. She sees the bottle of champagne he is holding. She takes it.

"I'll put this on ice."

"Thank you."

"How was your day?"

"Great! I got a lot done." He stands in the doorway of her kitchen and watches her pull two flutes from the china cabinet. When she turns to take the champagne bucket she notices a box on the counter.

"What's this?"

"Open it."

"Anakin, what are you doing?"

"She blushes as she opens the box. She touches her fingers to her lips. Anakin, it's…it's beautiful. Why are you doing this?"

"I've wanted to give you something for ten years. I didn't have the courage until now. Let me put it on for you. Turn around."

"Only two of these are known to exist. I didn't know more existed. Only the Queen has…."

"You have the second Geonosian sapphire." He regards the rare topaz-colored stone around her neck. He sweep her hair off her shoulder and kisses her. "I love you"

"I love you too. Thank you. You're so sweet."

"You're welcome."

"I'm going to be so good to you tonight."

"No, don't do that."

'Why not?"

"I don't want you to be good at all. I want to ruin you." He slides the ice bucket and champagne flutes to the end of the counter."

"But we can go into the bedroom."

He waves his hand across her face. "You don't need the bedroom."

She whispers back to him. "I don't need the bedroom."

Three hours later –

Coruscant University Hospital Emergency Room.

"Honey, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Anakin. Just help me in the car. Take my crutches."

"You know, it's not what I meant when I said I wanted to ruin you. Are you mad at me?"

"Take me home."

"I'll help those bones heal. You'll be good as new. Second thought, maybe we'll give it the normal 6 to 8 weeks. You can't get far with a broken ankle."

"I don't love you so much right now."

"Yes you do." He gets into his new silver blue air speeder. He got rid of that sith red _'thing' _she hated so much. He leans over and kisses her.

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_To be continued… 'Another Dysfunctional Family Dinner'_

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_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours for the next story. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy**_


	43. Chapter 43Another Dysfunctional Fam Din

_Chapter 43_

'_Didn't I Kill You Years Ago?'_

'_Another Dysfunctional Family Dinner'_

'_But My Professional Name Is...'_

'_Leather & Lace'_

Two weeks have passed since the _'Kitchen Counter' _incident. Anakin refuses to discuss it. It's no ones' business anyway. This was a private matter between him and Isabel. He felt guilty enough as it was. That stupid book!! _'365 Positions' _were now down to 364 and he wasn't sure if he was going to try those!

Isabel was in no mood to talk that night. He vowed not to leave her side and stayed the night anyway. He even sent Threepio over the next morning to tend to anything she needed around the apartment. The droid was chatty but at least he didn't knock her unconscious by handing her a magazine.

Several of Isabel's friends stop by to visit her, including Luke and Leia. Anakin would stop by after work and help tend to her. He really felt awful. Isabel didn't want to hurt his feelings so she didn't send him home, but he was driving her crazy and she wanted him out of her apartment.

The only thing that sent him on his way was Leia. She never actually put him out; instead, it was sheer fear of her interrogation. She had never gotten a satisfactory explanation from him. Anakin fled the scene as soon as he felt her presence in the building. Isabel didn't really explain how her ankle was broken either but Leia figured her father had to have been involved somehow.

Anakin was getting daily updates on the Emperor's 'makeover' things weren't going so well in the CEO's office.

Palpatine is staring in the refresher mirror. He is reciting his new morning affirmation. –

"I deserve good things; I am entitled to my share of happiness. I refuse to beat myself up. I am an attractive person. I am fun to be with. People like me" He makes an attempt at a friendly smile but instead he resembles a nexu in headlights.

His secretary Hilda calls him over the intercom. "Excellency, Former Supreme Chancellor Vallorum is here to see you."

The Emperor returns to his desk.

"…What's he doing here? Didn't I have him killed? What the hell does he want?"

"Ah…Excellency. You're on speaker."

"I'm on what??? Oh….uhm Send him in." He immediately summons Jar Jar. "Jar Jar, you imbecilic boob, get in here. Oh, and bring some coffee and cake. What did you say??? I'm the Emperor how dare... (Sighs)…_'Pleease'_?" He takes his place at his desk and tries to rehearse what he is going to say. The bouquet of flowers Anakin had sent is still on his desk. They have since wilted. The Emperor still didn't understand the note on the card.:

'_Excellency, you stay with it for the next six months and learn to speak beautifully, like a lady in a florist shop."_

He tried to call Anakin to thank him and ask about the note, but his favorite 'Dark Lord' was not available to take his calls. It's that _'evil vixen' _he's seeing. She's a distraction.

Jar Jar enters with a tray of Jawa coffee and breakfast pastries. The Emperor points to the table between the two armchairs. Jar Jar sets it down. The Emperor smiles suddenly. Hilda tries to remind him that the former Chancellor Valorum is waiting but the Emperor promptly disconnects her. He looks over at Jar Jar who is about to turn and leave. "Jar Jar, come here for a moment, I have a question to ask you."

"Youssa wantin' sumthin else, oh sadistic Imperial fussiness?"

"Jar Jar, I need your help, son,"

Jar Jar looks around to see if there is anyone else in the room to whom the Emperor is addressing. He surmises that he is the one to whom the Emperor is speaking. Jar Jar leans on the desk facing the Emperor. "Youssa be wantin' help from Jar Jar?"

"Yesssss…." Palpatine sounded like a slithering snake. "Jar Jar, have you noticed the young lady Lord Vader brought into the office some weeks ago?"

"Oh, yes. No one in Evil Empire missed her! Clone Troopers taking extra target practice to impress her next on visit. Theysa be wild and crazy over women in Imperial offices. It's like they never see woman before."

"Well, they never will if I have anything to say about it. Do you think that his lady friend would find me attractive?"

"If shesa got bombastic bad vision."

"How do you think I'm doing with my image makeover?"

"Jar Jar give you full report soon as you start."

Hilda is on the COM link again. Your Excellency, The former Chancellor is waiting…"

"Fine! Send him in, you old bat!"

The Royal Guards escort Valorum into the Emperor's office. He bows halfway and addresses the Emperor

"Your Excellency. thank you for seeing me. I know how busy you must be."

"I always take pleasure in meeting such a revered and honorable man such as you. Please."

He gestures for Valorum to take a seat.

"Normally I would never come here to bother you but there is an issue I need to discuss with you"

"Well, I will try and help by all means. I hope that misunderstanding about me trying to overthrow you years ago has been cleared up. I hear you have one of the top law firms in the galaxy. You must be proud."

"I never hold grudges, Your Excellency. And, yes. I am pleased at the direction in which my new firm is going. The reason for my visit is your protégé, Lord Vader. It seems that he is currently seeing the daughter of a prominent industrialist."

Palpatine feigns surprise

"Oh, I see…And I take it the father does not approve of this relationship"

"Not wholeheartedly. He's protective of his only daughter…and Lord Vader still with that unfortunate incident involving his late wife, the former Queen of Naboo; hanging over his head…I'm sure you see where I'm going with this."

"There is something in this for both of us. Yes. I see what you mean. I rein in my commander and your client can rest comfortably knowing his daughter is safely out of the clutches of someone he finds 'unsuitable." The Emperor ponders for a moment. The proposition sounds enticing but he is wondering how he can gain anything from destroying another of Anakin's relationships. He coyly looks down at his notes then over to the vase of dead flowers in front of him. He raises his head and smiles across the desk at Vallorum. "Let me see what can be done. Hmmm?"

"Thank you, Your Excellency. I appreciate your time. And thank you for considering this proposal."

"I'm a reasonable man. I promise you, I will do what's right."

"That's all I ask on behalf of my client. Good Day, Your Excellency."

"Good Day, Counselor. My guards will see you out."

Vallorum leaves. Palpatine's office. Palpatine promptly makes a call.

"Yes…Boba Fett, please."

Meanwhile

Luke has just arrived at his father's office after a morning of Jedi training. Obi-Wan promises to see his young Padawan at dinner. And, yes, he would be bringing a special guest.

Luke was feeling great that day. He was whistling as he walked down the hall to leave a stack of data cards for Governor Tarkin. The secretary thanks him before he turns to leave. Once back in the hall he hears a voice that brought dread into the hearts of all decent Padawan and seasoned Jedi. That red menace!

"Hey, Blondie! How's it going?"

"Oh, hello, Mara, I'm fine, how are you?"

"Say that again… like you mean it."

"No." He had those impure thoughts again: _'Can't I just knock her out just once?'_

"Why?"

"Because I didn't mean it the first time I said it. Isn't it a little early to torture me? Couldn't you have waited at least another hour?"

"Why wait? I have you in my sights now."

"I was hoping to make a clean getaway."

"Listen, Lu-Lu, I'm only talking to you because I'm a nice person. I always speak to the young unfortunate geeks."

"You must look in the mirror a lot."

"Oooh, ouch! Lu-Lu, I love it when you talk tough." She faces him and walks backwards. He tries to side-step her but she keep in pace with him and blocks his path."

"I don't have time for your games, Mara, so if you don't mind, I really must get back to my father's office."

"Rumor has it your 'Daddy' has a girl friend. It's your former nanny, right?"

"Don't start with me, Mara; I swear I'll….."

"Let me finish before you spaz out, Blondie. I was about to comment that I think it's cool. She's really pretty and she a nice person. Your father must be very happy."

"He is."

"Congratulations, Lu-Lu."

"Thanks, Mara." Luke thinks for a second: _'Is she going to wallop him with another insult or has she finished taunting him for the day? She sounded sincere, decent even. That Green-eyed 'she-devil' actually had a kind-streak…go figure.'_

"Well, I'll see you… maybe in the commissary for lunch?"

"Sure, I guess."

Mara turns to leave him in peace. She starts down the hall to the East corridor leading to the Senate offices. Luke is about to say something he hoped he would not regret. He thought perhaps he shouldn't but it was already out.

"Would you like to join my family for dinner tonight?" He wanted to make clear it was not he who would be welcoming her but his family. Plus, He was tired of being the 'child' at the dinner table where everyone else had a date. Even old Ben was bringing someone. He surmises that it's probably someone from the _'Aunt Bunny' _ranch. Mara looked passable for a date. If only she could keep her big trap shut for the duration, and behave like a human for a change, he would be happy.

Mara turns on her heels in an about-face as she hears the words _'Join' _and _'Family'. _She taunted Luke for being a _'Daddy's Boy'_ but at least there was a lot of love in the family. Besides, she would do anything to avoid her family for one night and she was tiring of the club scene.

She returns with a crooked smile and walks up to him.

"I would love that, Lu-Lu. How sweet."

"What time shall I pick you up?"

"Don't bother. I'll get there."

"But you don't know the address."

"Luke, everyone knows your house. You live in one of the most exclusive neighborhoods on Coruscant. 620 Faleen HyperDrive. I'll see you…"

"We sit down to dinner at seven."

"Cool. See you then, Blondie."

"See you."

Luke continues to walk in the direction of his father's office. He curses under his breath.

"Why the Hoth did I do that? I must be insane. She's going to totally embarrass me."

Gladys is just completing a phone call. She looks up with her soft, motherly face. "Oh, good morning Master Luke, how's my other favorite Skywalker boy?"

"Good morning, Gladys, I'm alright, how are you?"

"I'm doing well, thank you sweetheart. Luke, you look a bit troubled, dear. Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm ok, I guess…"

Gladys pats the side chair near her desk. "Come over here and talk to 'Grammy.'

Luke looks over at 'the hot seat' then reluctantly sits down. "Is it girl trouble?"

"Well, no, not exactly."

Gladys ponders for a second. Suddenly she is at a loss.

"Oh, dear, I don't know if I'm prepared to talk to you about that…"

"No, no! It's a girl." Luke was breathing hard. His face turns red with embarrassment from the near misunderstanding. He is calmer now. "It's a girl. She tortures me."

"Tortures you? What are you doing? Have you spoken to your father?"

"Maybe I shouldn't discuss this. Listen... I'm sorry…I"

"Luke, sit down. I'm the mother of four boys. I know how awkward it must be at your young age to get a beautiful girl to notice you."

"She's not beautiful."

"Yes she is; I'm sure of it. Boys don't like to admit it. Both you and your father know a thing or two about beautiful women. So, tell me. Tell Grammy."

Luke was hesitant to pour out his heart to someone who refers to herself as 'Grammy'. He never even had these talks with his own grandmother on Naboo. Not Ever!!! The very idea of discussing such matters with Grandmother Jobal Naberrie gave him the willies. Oma Jobal was there to give him treats and to sooth him when Leia was being less that charitable towards her brother. She never told her grandson that she would be available to discuss _'witchy, red-haired she-devils' _with lizard-green eyes! Luke had just zoned out for a moment and was again listening to _'unlicensed relationship therapist' _Gladys Pi-Lippa, Imperial Executive Secretary to Darth Vader.

"All women are beautiful, Luke. You'll see. You're going to like this girl."

"But I don't want to like her. I just want her to stop torturing me."

"Now, Luke, would she torture you if she didn't like you?"

Luke was thinking to himself: _'Yes'_

He reluctantly nodded and answered Gladys, "I guess you're right."

"There, you go! See?? All better!" She gives Luke a peck on the forehead. You're getting to be as handsome as your father. Now run along, he's expecting you."

"Thanks, Gladys."

Luke walks into his father's office. Anakin is on the com. He knows who is on the other end of the line by the tone in his father's voice. Oh, geez, phone sex at eleven thirty in the morning? Come on!

Anakin is at his desk smiling. He sees Luke but just barely.

Luke takes a seat on the sofa and lays back shaking Leia's stuffed Ewok toy pretending it's Mara. Anakin is still chatting. The call is holding his attention now.

"So, what are you wearing? hummm-hum….I wish I could be there. Are you on your back? That sounds so hot…I wish I could be there right now…I could fix that itch for you…oh, you're doing it yourself?..."

Luke rolls his eyes. He is beginning to think his father is mentally unstable. _'No 'sith'!'_

Anakin is still talking. Meanwhile, on the other end of the com is Isabel. She is in her apartment lying on the sofa. She is dressed in baggy cotton leggings and a bulky tunic top, channel surfing on the plasma and reading a book entitled_ 'When to Tell it's Time to Break Up With Your Boyfriend.' _

She puts down the remote and grabs a back scratcher and uses it to relieve the itching between her toes. The ankle cast was sheer torture. Six more weeks! She couldn't wait.

Anakin finally finishes his call and gives Luke his undivided attention.

"Luke, what took you so long? I've been waiting for you."

"I could tell." He tosses the toy Ewok behind him. It hits the wall then lands on the sofa. Luke takes a seat in one of the armchairs across from his father's desk. "So, Wut up, Dad?"

"How was training this morning?"

"Okay. Obi-Wan says my concentration is off."

"You'd better get on the ball. I pay good money to afford you this opportunity. Don't go pissing it all away because you can't focus. It's not an acceptable excuse."

"Ah, Dad, my Jedi training is free."

"Oh, right. Well what am I paying for that you're not applying yourself to?"

"Uh…nothing. But we never did resolve that issue of the speeder bike. Can I still have it?"

"You know I'm being accused of spoiling you and your sister, don't you?"

"But we're your children."

"Luke, of course I can get you the bike. Do I want to? Yes. Should I? I'm not so sure."

"Who's accusing you of this? I want to tell them a few things."

"Your grandfather."

Luke changes his tone slightly.

"Oh….Well…When did you ever care what he says about you? He doesn't even speak to you."

"That may be true but it's beside the point. I can't keep grounding you then come back a day later and buy you a speeder. Imagine what it would do to my credibility as a father."

"How did you find out if he never speaks to you?"

"Someone told me."

"But Grandfather spoils us! What's the difference? Oma Jobal and Opa Ruwee spoils us rotten."

"They're your grandparents. I'm supposed to be the voice of reason in this household."

"If I call you _'Grandfather,'_ can I have the bike? Dad, please?"

"Don't be a wiseass or you'll wind up _'bikeless'_."

"Is that even a word?"

"Luke, don't make me rescind my previous gesture of mercy by confiscating your air speeder privileges."

"Okay! Geez... Here we go again."

"Mind your tone with me, Luke. Go throw yourself a pity party. Get out of here. Take the rest of the day off."

"I just got here."

"You're giving me a headache and I don't want to do another anger management course in Human Resources. If I have to suffer through those 'Managing Your Anger' sessions one more time, I'll choke somebody. I'm tired of them riding my ass just because I choked Admiral Ozzel. It's not like I hurt him that badly."

"Dad, he was in the Imperial ICU for a month. His family had a Holy man at his bedside giving him his last rites."

"Big baby. He got more rest than I did. A whole month of R&R! When do I get a rest? Where's my reward?"

"But you got a cool certificate for completing the class. It looks really nice on the front door of your office. It makes people feel good about coming to visit you."

Anakin gives Luke a blank stare. He continues to work at his desk.

"Not my choice. Posting it was mandatory. Those rat bastards in personnel had the maintenance crew install that acrylic frame and cover so I wouldn't remove that crap piece of paper. Your sister was even _'sweet' _enough to help them select the exact space on the door on which to drill the bolts. She didn't have to put that pit bull sticker on the corner next to the seal. That was humiliating. Leia has a real mean streak in her. God knows where she gets it. Okay, I've had enough of you for one morning. Here's some money. Go buy yourself something for your pouting session."

"Gee, thanks, Dad. It's a good thing you don't spoil me. Oh, I'm bringing a guest for dinner tonight."

"Oh. That's nice. Anyone we know?"

"Mara Jade. She's the intern for the Emperor's office."

"Oh, Yes, I remember her. She was the little girl who used to beat the crap out of you in 2nd level. Are you two friends now?"

"No. She practically begged to be invited."

"Nice girl. Too bad she's got a pill of a mentor to work for. I'm glad you invited her. Good job, Son."

"Feel free to force-choke her if she tries to pick on me."

"Will you please leave?" He is smiling. "Hey, get over here. Who's your, Daddy?"

"You are, Dad. I love you." Luke kisses his father on the cheek then leaves.

'_**When the moon is in the Skywalker house**_

_**And Mustafar aligns with Xal **_

_**Then peace will guide the planets**_

_**And love will steer the stars – Age of Aura'**_

At dusk, the Coruscant skies are clear and beautiful. The streak of salmon and powder blue gives an almost magical effect .to the approaching evening sky.

Anakin arrives home and goes directly to his bedroom to take a short nap and then a shower. He really needed both. The domestic droid set out the clothes he would wear that evening. The room was immaculate. Anakin hated clutter so extra care was always taken to tend to his room twice a day to pick up after him. This was not an easy job since Anakin created the clutter.

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Anakin, Han is sent to pick up Isabel at her apartment. Isabel is surprised as well when she opens her apartment door.

"Oh. Han, Hello. Are you my chauffeur this evening?"

"Yes, ma'm. Leia sends her apologies. She's running late. There was a last minute referendum that required a vote in the Senate. She had to stick around. Gee, you look great for a chick with a bum ankle. That dress looks fabulous with the blue ankle cast." He walks inside. "Nice space you have here."

"Why thank you, Han. A girl has to work hard to look good these days. You look especially debonair tonight. I'm impressed."

"Yeah, I've been told that I fix up good but you can't take me out."

"Well, I always thought you were charming and especially entertaining."

"Thank you. That means a lot to me. Some people can't appreciate my _'rogue'_ style."

"I can't see why not."

Back at the Skywalker residence, Anakin is feeling especially agitated. He was pissed and didn't know why. He takes a second shower. The droids are milling about the house.

"It will be so good to see Miss Isabel tonight. I do hope she's feeling better."

Artoo responds with a few whistles and chirps.

"Well I believe Mistress Leia is picking her up. I don't think she trusts the Master to do it. He has such a temper at times."

Back at Isabel's apartment, Han looks around. It is tastefully decorated with original art and beautiful furniture. She has an amazing view across town. You could see the University campus nearby.

Isabel returns from the bedroom. She was putting on her earrings but was having trouble with the necklace Anakin had given to her. She hobbles out to ask for his assistance.

"Nice rock."

"Anakin gave it to me."

"Compensation for your injuries?"

Isabel laughs.

"No…He was being romantic."

Han almost gags as he stands behind her fastening the clasp. He manages to refrain from laughing.

"There. All done. Ready?"

"Yes. I just need my crutches."

She follows him to the door. He offers to lock it then looks at her. He grins.

"Let me help you." He scoops her up in his arms. She giggles.

"Oh, my."

"It's part of the service, ma'm"

"Oh, Han, you're funny."

"I wish everyone was as appreciative of my humor as you are. You know how to enjoy yourself."

Back at the Skywalker residence Luke is almost ready. The chefs are bustling in the kitchen. Threepio is following Luke.

"If I may say so, you are looking especially handsome this evening, Master Luke. If there's anything I can do to help this evening, please let me know."

"Actually, Threepio, I believe everything is under control, but thanks, you're a great help just being here."

'"Why, thank you, Master Luke."

A few minutes later Han and Isabel arrive at the door. Isabel is about to help Han ring the bell.

"Han, you can put me down. I can manage."

"No. I was entrusted to your safety. I'm not letting you set one foot on the floor until you are safely inside."

Leia arrives from the parking bay elevator in time to meet up with them. She takes Isabel's crutches. Han leans over to kiss her.

"Hi. How about a kiss, woman."

"Here's the key. Open the door, Romeo. Isabel, nice dress."

"Thanks."

Leia is behind Han as he unlocks the door. He speaks to Isabel.

"Now, let's get you across the Skywalker threshold and we're all set" The door swings open before he has a chance to use the key.….."Oh, Hello, 'A.S.' "

Han emphasizes the _'S'_ where it almost sounds like an insult. Anakin is not amused with the added 'S'. Anakin attempts to take Isabel from Han's arms.

"I'll take her from here."

"Mr.'V', I really think it would be better if I just take her to the sofa where she'll be safe."

"What are you trying to say?"

Isabel is getting nervous as Anakin tries to take her from Han's arms.

"Guys, please."

Leia intervenes by poking the crutches at her father.

"Back off for a second! Let him get her on the sofa then you can knock her to the floor and break her arm. Han, go ahead and sit her over there."

Anakin grabs the crutches from Leia. Han places Isabel on the sofa. Luke walks in the room to find out the reason for the commotion. Isabel looks up at Han.

"Han, thank you." She turns to Anakin, who looks as if someone stole his lightsaber. "Anakin, come here."

Anakin leans over. She kisses him. He is happy again. He gives Han a smug look. Leia rolls her eyes.

"I've had a long day; I am going to leave this room to change into something more appropriate for the evening. Daddy, play nice."

Luke smiles and stares at Isabel. All three men are staring at her as if she's going to break or fall off the sofa. She is becoming annoyed.

"Why don't you take a holograph, it'll last longer."

A servant walks in and breaks the tension by offering drinks. The bell rings. Luke answers the door. It is Obi-Wan and a guest. Han greets them. Luke walks over and makes the introductions. Anakin hears his old mentor enter the room and greets him warmly. Obi-Wan. His companion is a petite but voluptuous Twi'lek. She is bubbly and ditzy but sweet.

"Everyone, I would like to introduce my lovely friend, Aura. I told her about this lovely family I have known for years and she couldn't wait to meet everyone."

Anakin smiles and bows respectfully. "Master, I'm glad you were able to bring your guest tonight. Aura, welcome to our home. You met my son Luke and Mr. Solo. I would like you to meet my girlfriend Isabel." He hated that word. It made him feel as if he were 15 years old. He smiles down lovingly at Isabel. It was actually kind of nice feeling like a teen again.

Obi-Wan kisses Isabel on her hand. "Isabel, you are a vision of beauty as usual. How are you my dear?"

"I'm much better, Obi-Wan. Thank you for your get well message." Isabel extends her hand to Obi-Wan's date. "Hello." Obi –Wan never gets the chance to introduce Aura.

The befuddled girl responds, without missing a beat, "Do I kiss your hand too?" Isabel is surprised and a bit amused. She immediately reaches out and shakes the woman's hand.

"I apologize for not standing. Nice to meet you, Aura."

"Hi. "

Leia finally returns wearing an Amethyst colored chiffon dinner dress. Her hair is pulled back into an ornately braided ponytail and secured with a precious gemstone. "What did I miss? Oh, Obi-Wan. I'm so glad you could make it." Aura looks at Leia and then again at Isabel."

"Wow! You too look like you're going to a wedding or something. You both look so elegant. Is someone getting married?"

Leia laughs. She looks at Obi-Wan as if to ask _'Where did you find her?'_ but she is very nice to Aura.

"We just like to play dress-up."

"Oh, so do I!"

Han is standing near the entrance to the balcony. He whispers to Luke.

"This is going to be an interesting evening."

"Han, you can't accuse my family of being boring."

"We haven't gotten started yet."

Dinner is about to be served. Everyone is seated. Obi-Wan brings his drink to the table. Luke is about to give up on his dinner guest until the bell rings. He gets up from the table.

"I'll get that. Excuse me please."

Anakin helps Isabel to the table. He rests her foot on his lap.

Luke opens the door. It is Mara. She is dressed in black leather off the shoulder long-sleeved top and matching pants. Luke's eyes widen.

"Mara?"

"Luke?"

"Oh. Uhm…Hi. How did you get here?"

"I rode my speeder bike. So, when does this Boonta Eve party get started?" She pokes her head in the direction of voices from the dining room.

"Now. So, what's the theme of the outfit?"

"Why? Is it too casual?"

"It's nice…."

Mara can tell Luke is hesitating. "Should I leave? Because if I'm dressed inappropriately, tell me. I spent a lot of credits on this outfit."

"Is it new?"

"No. But I consider it as being dressed up. What? Is it too 'Outlander Club?'

"Is that where you're headed?" He grins.

"Listen, Lu-Lu, are you going to let me in or what? You should be lucky I showed up. Don't start with me."

"I'm sorry. Come on in and meet the family."

Luke returns to the table to introduce Mara. Leia smiles and Force-talks to Luke as he passes by her chair.

"_Luke, you little devil. She's wearing that outfit to beat you later?"_

"_Shut up"_ He nudges her with the Force.

Luke pulls out a chair and Mara sits. Leia is at the end of the table to Mara's left, Luke is seated beside her and Isabel is seated to Luke's right. Anakin is seated to Isabel's right at the head of the table. She is facing Obi-wan. Aura is seated between Han and Obi-Wan.

The servants are filling the champagne glasses. And the first course is being served.

Anakin stands and gives a toast.

'_Here's to Eternity._

_May we spend it in_

_as good of company_

_as this night finds us. May the Force be with you all'_

Anakin welcomes Mara. "Mara, Welcome. I'm pleased that Luke has met some nice people during his internship."

"Thank you, Mr. Skywalker. It's really a pleasure to be here."

"How are your parents?"

"They're fine, thanks. You have a beautiful home."

"Thank you. My daughter Leia is responsible for the décor. It's been her pet project from the age of twelve."

Aura chimes in." You're a really good designer, Leia. You must have been tired making all the decorations on the ceiling. And you were only twelve. Wow! I'm impressed. Your father let you climb a ladder that high up? It's so pretty. It's like a Mon Calamari."

Everyone looks up at the ceiling at the ornate molding and the crimson background. It looks nothing like a 'Mon Calamari' _anything_. Obi-Wan smiles.

"You really think so?"

"That's what my friends at the club told me to say when I walk into a fancy home like this. They said everyone would be impressed. "Mon Calamari! Mon Calamari!" She waves her hands above her head as if in a trance. Leia and Han are covering their mouths. Mara thinks she's in a middle of a practical joke.

Obi-Wan takes Aura's hands and kisses them. "What an amazing observation, my dear."

Han thinks out loud. "I never would have thought of it." Anakin stares at him. "What? It's true, I wouldn't!"

Leia tries to change the topic. "So, Mara, have you and Luke reminisced about grade school?"

"Not too much. I think it was too traumatic for him."

Luke blushes. He really does not want to talk about getting beaten up by a little girl. "Leia, come on. Let's not go there."

Han comes back to life again. He was zoning out on the previous conversation. Anakin is too busy caressing Isabel's hand and whispering in her ear. Han was ready for some frivolous juicy gossip

"Hey, that's something I want to hear. Mara, indulge us. Tell us about 'Happy Days' with Junior."

"No, I couldn't. He'll stop speaking to me.

"So?"

'Junior?' " She laughs. "Luke, you never told me that. It's almost as good as my nickname for him."

Han smiles. He is intrigued. "Let's share."

Leia interrupts. "No. We will not do this at the dinner table. If you three want to take it out on the terrace during dessert, we will, but you will continue to respect my brother for now. I can't wait to know myself."

At the other end of the table, Anakin and Obi-Wan chat. Everyone is midway through the first course.

Aura is looking across the able at Isabel. She leans in and speaks to her.

"Isabel, what sort of work do you do?"

Isabel looks up and stops eating her soup.

"I 'm a Child Management Counselor at Coruscant University."

"Do you counsel the children in the University?"

"No. I examine court cases and make recommendations. I do visit families on occasion to observe."

Obi-Wan interrupts "Isabel is being modest, she does amazing work in bringing families together. She lived here for over two years to help the Skywalker twins. Look at them now."

Leia and Luke are having some sort of disagreement. Isabel points in their direction. "Aura, I am not responsible for anything that happened from the age of eight till now."

Anakin smirks. He is dying to bring up old history. She smiles sweetly at him before speaking. "Don't you dare say a word, Anakin or I'll grab my crutches…"

"How are you going to get them? They're in the living room."

Aura continues her conversation with Isabel. "You could have worked on my family twenty years ago."

"I don't believe I would have been qualified at the time. I was fourteen."

Han is listening and holds up his hands to count out _'14_' like a child. He is facing Leia. She slaps his hands away before he makes her laugh. She smiles then directs a question to Aura.

"Aura, where do you work? Obi-Wan told us you're in the entertainment business.'

"Oh, yes! I'm a professional dancer at a club near the financial district. It's where I met Benji."

"_Benji? _I see." Leia looks at Obi-Wan.

"He is such a wonderful man."

"He sure is. He is full of surprises."

"I know it's not his professional name, I just think it's cute. Like, my real name is Aura Taa Li but my Professional stage name is Aura………….."

Suddenly there is silence at the table except for Anakin and Luke who almost choke on their soup. Isabel blushes. Han leaves the table. Leia excuses herself to go after him. Mara is just stunned. Isabel pats Anakin on his back. Obi-Wan sits back in his chair, smiles blissfully and sips his drink. Aura looks around.

"Did I say something wrong?"

Leia hears this and loses it. She follows Han out on the terrace. They are laughing hysterically. Isabel manages to keep her laughter contained but she does find it difficult to speak the woman's name again for the rest of the evening without thinking of the _'second'_ part. Isabel tries not to make her feel self conscious.

"Well, it's not exactly a word you would use at the dinner table. Anakin, Honey, are you alright?"

"I'm good. Thanks" He quickly sips from his water glass.

Mara tries to remain at the table for as long as possible but she finally bails too. Luke, not wanting to be left alone with the other adults quickly follows. All the teens and Han are on the terrace.

Back at the table, Isabel continues to chat with Aura. Anakin carefully moves Isabel's injured foot from his lap and props it on the chair. He leaves the table. The servants clear the table for the next course.

"Will you please excuse me for a moment? I'm going to round up the children. I apologize for this."

Anakin attempts to put on his stern 'fatherly face' when he steps onto the terrace. Leia, Luke and Mara are trying to stop giggling. Han leans against the garden wall. He looks at them as he twirls a leaf from a potted citrus tree. Anakin scolds them.

"I'm disappointed all of you. Especially you, Leia."

"Me?! What did I do??? I was just sitting there. I had no idea she was going say what she did."

"I expected you, of all people to be able to keep it together. I can excuse Mr. Solo, here. He thrives on sophomoric humor. Leia, you're a junior senator. I'm shocked."

Han protests. "I object to that remark."

Leia rolls her eyes. "No one gave us the class on how to respond when your godfather brings home a stripper, Dad."

Luke chimes in. "I know I sure didn't see that coming."

Mara laughs more. Anakin looks at her then turns away. He bites his lip then speaks again. "Everyone inside, now. Dinner is getting cold. What's wrong with Threepio?"

Luke tries to sound serious.

"R2 was explaining what the commotion is all about. I think he blew a circuit"

This draws mores laughter. Anakin clears his throat. He is serious. "You all should be ashamed of yourselves. The poor woman is in there upset; she thinks she's done something wrong. Isabel's trying to talk her down….."

Han grins, "Really? Sounds hot" Leia has tears in her eyes. She buries her face in his chest trying to muffle her laughter.

Anakin is becoming angry. "Han, I'm warning you!"

"I'm agreeing with you, old man! I think we should go back inside and eat." He grins over at Luke.

Anakin wags his finger at Luke and Leia in a scolding manner. He sees Han making faces but ignores him. "You children have failed me for the last time!"

Luke is defensive. "Now what??? This isn't our fault! Leia and I get blamed for everything! Dad!"

"You are the hosts to your friends and you should be setting an example. Think of poor Obi-Wan in there. This is breaking his heart. He found someone to make him happy and you humiliate the lady by laughing at her. It's not the Jedi way."

"Dad, does this mean I don't get my speeder bike?"

"Get inside."

Meanwhile, back in the dining room, Obi-Wan is far from being brokenhearted. He has taken Anakin's place at the head of the table and massages Isabel's leg above the cast. He is attempting to alleviate the swelling and promote the healing of the fracture using the Force. Aura listens as Isabel talks about her brief tenure as the consultant and live-in nanny to the Skywalker twins. They are laughing at her stories.

Anakin returns to the room followed by the children and their guests. The servants make another attempt to serve the next course. Obi-Wan gets up and lets Anakin have his seat. Anakin looks at Isabel. He adjusts her dress which is rolled up above her knee. He makes certain it covers her knee.

"How's your _'foot' _?"

"It's starting to feel better" She looks over to Obi-Wan. "Thank's, _'Benji'"_

"You're quite welcome, my dear Isabel"

After dinner the family and guests gather in the living room for dessert. Isabel is on the upholstered chaise. Luke places a pillow under her foot. Threepio has recovered from his information overload earlier.

Mara is sitting on the sofa chatting with Leia and Isabel. Threepio decides to join them.

"Miss Mara, it's so nice to see you after so many years. I'm so pleased to see that you and Master Luke are friends again."

"Actually, we were never friends. I thought he was a little crybaby."

"Oh, I see."

"So, what happened to her foot?" She points to Isabel who is chatting with Obi-Wan and his date.

"Oh, something about a fall. I believe Master Ani pushed her down the stairs. Poor girl. She tries so hard to please him but his temper has gotten out of control."

This bothers Mara. She goes to find Luke who is sitting with on the terrace with Han. He is drinking beer and looking out for his father so he can hide the glass. Mara catches him.

"Aha! Drinking, eh? Can I have one?"

Han looks up at her. "How old are you?"

"Underage. Hand it over, Captain."

"Mara, you're a feisty young thing, aren't you? Luke, your father is going to kick my ass when he smells beer on your breath."

"He lets me have champagne, why not, beer?"

"I don't see too many alcoholics asking the bartender for a round of _'Dom Tion'_. So, jailbait, tell me how you tortured Junior in grade levels.

"I was just playing around. He's alright."

"You gave me a bloody nose."

"Oh, yeah. I remember now. You cried. I feel bad about it now. So what's the deal about your dad throwing his girlfriend down the steps?"

"What? He never did that. Who told you that lie?"

"Your protocol droid."

"Threepio!"

Artoo is hiding behind the lemon tree planter laughing to himself.

Obi-Wan and Anakin are in the study behind closed doors. They have guests of their own.

'_Anakin, you sure throw a Hell of a dinner party. Strippers, dominatrix-biker chick 17 year old girls, hot girlfriend with a slit up the front of her dress. The vice squad should be here any minute!'_

'Shut up Qui-Gon.'

'_Hey, have some respect. I was your master once. Obi-Wan, you old fool! Has your table dancer gone through your Jedi retirement fund yet?'_

"She's not that sort of girl. She's a sweet woman. Where's, my drink?"

'_Drink?! You should be asking 'Where's my money? Sweet women take old Jedi's money too! Anakin, are you looking out for that gold-digger Isabel?'_ Qui-Gon laughs. Anakin is not.

Mace is sitting in the window seat of Anakin's study. He rolls his eyes at Qui-Gon.

'_Anakin, ignore this idiot.'_

'_It was a joke! Isabel's making some serious change at that job. Good thing she has a good insurance policy. You keep breaking her bones every week.'_

Mace looks over at Anakin.

'_Yeah, Anakin, what about that? You got some sort of hand-eye coordination problem? Every time you go out with that poor girl she comes back with an eye injury, busted lip, broken bones…Was she trying to run away and you tackled her?'_

"She loves me."

'_Did you tell her you love her? It sure is hard to tell with all the injuries.'_

Qui-Gon grins then teases Anakin.

'_Ani, tell the girl you love her. 'I love you with all-a my heart, if I don't see-a you again soon, I'm-a gonna die...'_

_Every starts laughing at Anakin, even Obi-Wan._

"Alright! Stop ragging on me. Listen, I've got to get back to my kids. Luke thinks I don't know he's drinking beer on the terrace and I've got to round up my daughter and my girlfriend from the only adult male in the room and that stripper. No, offense, Obi-Wan but I don't want my daughter running around wearing a metal bikini unless it's a chastity belt."

Mace whispers to himself. _'Too late!'_

"What was that?"

'_Nothing.'_

_Qui-Gon has another question. 'Ani, what are you going to do about the teen biker chick in the leather thingy?'_

'She's not my responsibility…I'm joking! I'll round her up too. Geez!'

Anakin walks into the living room.

"What's this, a harem? You ladies ready to call it a night?"

"What? We have a curfew?? Daddy!"

"I can arrange one." Anakin walks through the living room and out onto the terrace.

"Han, are you contributing to the corruption of two minors?"

"Hey, _'Junior' _and _'Wild thing'_ here followed me."

"Wild who?? Oh. Uhm…Ms. Jade, you're staying tonight, yes?"

"No, I have my bike downstairs."

"No, you will be staying. Call your parents now. I don't think a teenage girl should be traveling this time of night. You've been drinking as well"

"I do it all the time, Sir"

"Not from my house you don't. Leia will show you to a guestroom."

"I'll do it, Dad." Luke raises his hand as he sits in the chair. His beer glass is hidden behind it. Anakin sees it anyway.

"Is your name _Leia_?"

"No."

"Stay put.. Hand me those beer glasses behind your chair."

Han knows he is next.

"Sir, I honestly did not know they were teen drinkers."

"Han, go get some jawa coffee for these two and I want to talk to you in the morning. You're staying too."

Anakin goes back inside. Obi-Wan and Aura are about to leave.

"So, you're leaving, Master?"

"Yes, Anakin. My companion has a midnight show to perform."

"I see. Well… As always, it has been an honor to have you, Master. Aura, thank you for joining us for dinner. I hope you had a good time. I apologize for my children's behaviour earlier. "

"Oh, they were very nice. I had a good time. Isabel made me feel so welcome. She's going to be my role model. I think I want to help children too. You've been so kind to me. Thank you for the invitation. I don't get to go to nice places like this much. Goodnight, Mr. Skywalker" She surprises Anakin with a kiss on the cheek. She giggles. Anakin gives her a warm embrace.

Obi-Wan checks to see where Anakin's hands land on his date. "Watch where you touch the merchandise, Anakin. It'll cost you." He smiles.

"Good night, Aura. Master, Obi-Wan, thank you again. May The Force be with you."

"Good night, Anakin, May the Force be with you."

Anakin sees them to the door. When he returns, he looks over at Leia.

"No shenanigan's tonight, young lady. I'll be watching."

"Yeah. Thanks, Dad."

"Was that a sarcastic remark, young lady?"

"No." She is lying.

Anakin walks over to the chaise where Isabel is.

"So, lady with the blue ankle cast. Ready to retire?"

"I suppose. Are you going to help me to my room?"

"No." He scoops her up in his arms and carries her to the master bedroom.

This was a bizarre and interesting evening. The house is now quiet. Han is on duty waiting for Luke and Mara to drink down their Jawa after illegally sneaking beers. Mara didn't mind so much. At least there was a parent who cared enough to make sure she was sober by the time her head hit the pillow.

Luke had a wonderful family. All the horrible things she heard over the years about this family turned out to be a bunch of bantha fodder. There was so much love and laughter in this home it was amazing. She reaches for Luke's hand under the table as they down their third cup. It felt nice.

Threepio survived the evening without getting dismantled and Isabel didn't fall out of bed.

Anakin sat up with her until 1:30 in the morning teaching her the rules of sabacc. Isabel was winning and didn't have a clue of what she was doing. He finally ended the game and confiscated her cards. _'Women should never, ever be permitted to play this game!'_

At 2 o'clock that morning, Leia quietly sneaks into Han's guestroom.

To be continued…. _'Chewie, Han and Luke go to a ballgame'_


	44. Chapter 44Take Me Out to the Energy Ball

_Chapter 44_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Darth Takes a Holiday'_

'_Take Me Out to the Energy Ballgame'_

'_How Do You Like These Apples?'_

'_Jedi Girl Gone Wild'_

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Anakin had another sit-down with Han. He wanted to know his intentions for his daughter but he wasn't ready for her to marry. There were lots of eligible suitors besides him.

Anakin wanted Leia to wait until she was in the relationship for awhile before marrying so young. He was caught by surprise, and delightfully so, that marriage was not even on her agenda at the moment. Still, Anakin intended to have a few more discussions with that scruffy nerf-herder who frequented his home lately.

The Emperor has been calling all day. Anakin was not going to take his calls. He was leaving town anyway. He had planned to go away with Isabel for the past two months or so but their schedules constantly collided. She had just had her cast removed. It was either now or they would have to wait for another time to take a holiday.

His servants load up the custom-designed Imperial Cruiser. He and Isabel board the ship for a four-day weekend on Yavin4. He had given the cottage to Yoda but he wanted to spend time alone with Isabel on the other side of the Massassi Temple Ruins anyway. There were some private bungalows and beautiful waterfalls where one can actually bathe before breakfast.

One rule of warning from Anakin to his children before his departure:

'Absolutely No parties!'

'Absolutely No sleepovers where there is a chance of having sex'

'Absolutely No drinking! (Fruit juice, water, jawa juice, tea blue milk, and Rodia soda (_although void of any nutritional value_) are all acceptable means of quenching ones' thirst)'

'Curfew is 11:59p.m. (Artoo will keep record. Anyone found breaking rule will be dealt with promptly upon my return)'

'No Han Solo'

'**Repeat: **No Han Solo'

Yes, of course Anakin could count, but this was beside the point. Rules are rules.

Leia leaves her father a note on his suitcase in the foyer: _'Try 'Sex on the Beach' it's really great, you'll love it'_

Anakin snorted angrily. "How does she know about these things?' It's that Han Solo corrupting my beautiful delicate flower. I'll deal with him when I get back!"

Anakin is so irritated that he didn't bother to read the rest of the message, which would ultimately raise a whole different flurry of questions about alcohol consumption.

Han had a great idea. He knew Junior had access to box seats at the Kaja Sinis Memorial Arena. He thought they should have a guy's night out. They shouldn't tell Leia or else she would surely kill the fun.

The morning after Luke's father leaves with Isabel for Yavin4, he takes his speeder out for a spin. He stops at the local Plasma Music Emporium. A few aisles over he hears the voice of a Hoth snow creature. It is _'Old Red'_

"Hey, Junior. How are you?"

"Hey, Mara..."

She makes her way over to him. Luke pretends to search feverishly for a disque.

"So, what are you doing?"

"I believe it's called looking for music. What are you doing, skulking for innocent victims to torment?"

"Sounds like fun. Have anymore family get-togethers lately?

"Why? Trying to get invited?"

"No. But, I really had a great time and…"

Suddenly someone walks up behind them and interrupts the conversation.

"Hey, Maar…you have this recording by the _'Kessel Run Boys'_?"

Luke looks up at a spiked-haired, well over six-foot tall tattooed Sith apprentice. The young sith blocks Luke's view of Mara as he wedges himself between the two. He faces Mara and continues to speak. He flexes his leather-clad arm and almost knocks Luke in the face, missing him by centimeters.

Luke wants to belt the creep but he recalls his Jedi training: _'A Jedi should not know anger' (Gee, thanks, Yoda!)_ The nerve of this arrogant dianoga cretin!

Mara is face-to-face with her acquaintance. She glances at the music disque then wrinkles her nose in disapproval. She waves hand dismissively.

"They are so_ 'old order'"_

"You want to browse some more or go out for drinks later at 'The_ Thrawn Room'?"_

"Naah…I'd better lay off the juice. My dad landed into me about the clubbing and staying out late. Oh, Craul, do you know Luke Skywalker?"

The towering apprentice smugly continues to block Luke. Luke tries to maintain his composure. Craul continues his conversation with Mara.

"No. So, you going out with me and the gang or what?"

"Nooo, I don't think so. I've got exams next week. I need to study. Luke, here is going to tutor me."

Luke was undeniably shocked! He tilts his head and looks around Craul's left side to look at her her. He nods his head emphatically "No". Craul looks down to see who she's looking at. He sees the mop of blonde hair then Luke looks up at him. Craul scowls down at him. Luke swears this is the end for him. Instead, the miscreant Sith apprentice tosses the music selection chip back on the rack. He grumbles a bit as he stares into Mara's green eyes. He clenches his teeth.

"So that's how it's going to be? Humph! Whatever!"

Craul storms out of the music store. Mara lets out a sigh of relief. She looks apologetically at Luke who is actually more afraid for Mara now than for himself.

"Are you ok?"

The 'Red Tornado' looks as if she has had the wind knocked out of her.

"I'm fine. Let's get out of here, Luke."

They stroll through the shopping center. Lots of teenagers are milling around looking for things to buy with their weekly credit allowance.

"If he tried to hurt you, I would have come to your defense. I wasn't afraid."

"I know you weren't, Luke. You're very sweet but he wasn't worth it."

"But you are."

Mara smiles then slaps Luke on the behind. His face turns ten shades of red as he looks to see who is watching.

"Hey! What was that for?"

"Nothing. Just felt like feeling up a little Jedi."

"That's not very lady-like."

"I know. So, where are we headed?"

Just as she speaks, Luke's cell phone buzzes. He looks at the display. It is Han. Luke slows down as he listens. Mara is curious to know what they are talking about. Luke is answering a question.

"Well, I can get a few of you in, maybe. My dad never really uses it. He only bought the box seats because he was entertaining clients from Bothawui but the peace talks fell through when Dad's client was in an accident. Apparently he was heckling a singer at this dinner theatre and somebody whacked him…Yeah, true…it sure does happen...heheh…The game isn't till 3 o'clock. I'll meet you there. I didn't say a thing to Leia... I know…no...Yeah, just us guys. Gee, you mean it? Thanks Han! Ok. See you in a bit." He ends the call. Mara looks at him.

"Where are you going?"

"Uhm…energyball game."

_Oh, God, here it comes:_

"I kind of thought we'd hang out together. It 's early…I can get into that energyball sports stuff…"

She sounds so needy. This is so uncharacteristic of the 'Green-eyed she-devil.'

Luke knew if he didn't ask the question she wanted to hear, he would never have any peace as he walked through the hallways of the Imperial offices ever again.

"Mara, would you please join us at the game this afternoon?" There, he said it.

However, Mara did not appreciate the tone and the lack of sincerity in his invitation.

"You know, that really hurt, Luke. I didn't like the way you asked me. It's as if you were doing it out of pity and didn't want me there."

"Ok. I'm sorry. Mara, I would be pleased if you would join me and my friends to the game this afternoon."

Mara's smile is as wide as a child's on Republic Eve. She even did a little twisting dance as they walk out of the mall. Luke is seeing a side of Mara he never knew. It was actually kind of cute.

"Okay! Whoohoo!"

As they head to the speed bike parking area they run into Leia. She slows down as she sees Luke and Mara.

"Well, well…what have we here? What are you two mall _Scurriers_ up to?"

Mara smiles and holds onto Luke's arm. He is trying to peel her off of him. She answers for the both of them. "We're shopping."

"Where are you heading now?"

Luke finally speaks. "I'm heading to the game."

"Lu-Lu's taking me. We're on our way to meet Han."

Leia is fuming. Han had lied to her during a phone conversation that morning. He told her he was feeling a bit under the weather and wanted to stay in for the night. All of a sudden, he had a burst of energy to attend an energyball game.

'_Wait till I get my hands on that scruffy, lying son of a…. _So, you're meeting Han? I suppose Chewie should be close behind. You're heading to the arena now?"

Mara speaks.

"Yeah." Luke looks at Mara answering questions directed at him.

"Well, enjoy yourselves. Tell, Han I'll see him later."

"Ok... Bye"

Luke goes to his speeder after walking Mara to her bike. They agree to meet at the executive level where the Skywalker box section is located.

Luke arrives to find Han, Chewie, Biggs, Bigg's girlfriend, Wedge, and his girlfriend Iella. Luke was not expecting this. All of his 'Friends' cheer Luke's arrival. Han slaps him on the back and takes him aside.

"Sorry about the crowd but once they realized where Chewie and I were headed, they asked to come. They've been trying to get season tickets all year. Thanks, kid. Is this cool or what?"

"Sure, Han. Come on. Oh, Leia says she hopes you're feeling better. She'll see you later."

"You saw her? Did she ask if you were meeting me?"

"I think she figured it out."

"Oh, alright. I'll talk to her tonight when I get home. Oh, here's biker jailbait. Hey, Mara. I didn't know you were into sports."

"Can the smooth-talk, swifty." She slips her arm into Luke's arm.

Han leans over to Luke. "You've got a little spitfire here. I can see her making you cry when you were little."

Luke groans. "Let's go"

They go to the private seating area. Luke sees Han press the button on the wall panel that allows the glass dome cover to retract so that they are now at one with the crowd. Biggs and his girlfriend are already making out in the back row. Chewie helps himself to the complimentary food and refreshments.

The box area holds twenty-four spectator seats. The arena is filled to capacity. Luke is able to get into the game. He relaxes. Han is yelling at the umpire.

"What are you, blind?! That ball was in! Man!"

Wedge is behind Luke. He whispers in Luke's ear. "Luke, Your girlfriend is a firecracker."

"She's not my girlfriend."

"You sticking to that story? That's cool. I can see you wanting to survey the 'field'"

Han yells over to Chewie. "Chewie, pass the food around! Luke, any beer in this place?"

"Yes. Press the button on the chair and a concession droid will bring it over."

"Cool! This is a sweet deal your dad's got here."

"I guess." He looks up from his seat. Mara is cheering and bouncing up and down. He covers his face. Han leans over to speak to him.

"I can't believe your dad never comes here. What a waste. This is beautiful." He cheers again during another point scored for the home team. "I am having so much fun. I'm so glad your sister's not here. She'd be riding my ass for the next week."

Someone leans over his shoulder. "And why is that?" Leia bats him on his head with the back of her hand. She has changed into casual clothes after a brief stop home. She steps down to the row where he is sitting. She shoves Chewie out of the way. "Out of my way, _'Cousin It'_!"

Chewie growls at her.

"Shut up!" She stands next to Han.

He mutters to himself "Oh, _'Sith'" _He turns to look at her with a stupid grin on his face. "Hey, babe. How was the senate today?"

"Full of rubbish like you."

"Fair enough."

"Han, all you had to do was tell me the truth. You know I'll eventually find out. You make me so mad sometimes. You never even invited me. What are you drinking?" He hands her his beer cup.

As she drinks from his cup, Mara is screaming down to some rival fans who are telling her to shut up. Luke is laughing as she argues with a couple of men a few rows down.

"You shut up, you Wampa breath! I'll come down there and kick your arrogant ass! You have the death sentence on 12 systems, hey? Want to make it thirteen? Feeling lucky, you mashed-face creep?"

Luke sees the men who she is arguing with and becomes worried. He is trying to hold her back. Biggs sees this and laughs. "You go girl!"

"Let me go, Luke! I can take him!"

"Mara! Calm down."

She continues to taunt the man in the lower tier "Bet you never got any of this!"

Meanwhile, on Naboo, Grandfather Ruwee Naberrie is enjoying a peaceful afternoon in the family room. He clicks on the Plasma with the remote. He relaxes in his recliner and channel surfs until he settles down for a few hours of sports. Jobal Naberrie is in the next room. She hears her husband coughing. She calls in to him.

"Ru, I told you not to eat so fast, dear." He is coughing too long for her comfort so she hurries into the room. He is holding his throat with one hand and pointing to the plasma with the other. Jobal tilts her head and touches her hand to her chest with a sense of subdued dismay. "Oh, My"

Back at the Skywalker residence, Artoo is agitated and begins to chime off with a series of beeps and whistles. Threepio places his hand on the astromech's dome.

"What is it, Artoo? What? They're where? Oh, dear. Goodness gracious me! The master will be very displeased when he returns from his relaxing holiday with Miss Isabel"

Obi-Wan and Aura are watching the plasma after he senses something amiss. Aura dutifully switches on the live sporting event. Obi-wan's eyes bug out then suddenly he bursts into laughter.

Qui-Gon calls Mace. The Force ghosts are in the stands watching. Qui-Gon has a full view of the calamity._ "That girl is a little spitfire! I love this chick! You go, Red!"_

Mara has just flashed everyone in the lower tier including the players. The opposing team fumbles causing the Coruscant home team to score 20 points. Luke tries to grab her to close her top but this is not what it looks like on the Jumbotron plasma. Han is just noticing what is happening because he has been bickering with Leia who still has a beer in her hand. Biggs is kissing his girlfriend and Chewie dumps a tray of food on some opposing fans at his end.

Luke looks across the arena to see himself on the Jumbo tron plasma. Security droids enter the box seats and try to subdue Mara. She kicks two of the droids.

"Let go of me! I'll break you in two!"

Leia gulps and a look of horror falls over her face. She is the next one to be featured on the _'big screen.'_ The incriminating half-full tumbler of beer is firmly in her hand. Han wags his head.

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

On Yavin4 Isabel is bringing in two tablets for Anakin's sudden headache. The carpet is covered with sandy footprints. Isabel massages Anakin's head.

"Breath slowly, Sweetie. Everything will be alright. You worry too much. You need to learn to relax. I'm sure everything back home is fine"

The plasma is on mute on the wall in their bungalow. Anakin does not see it but Isabel does. She purses her lips then discreetly turns it off. She continues to massage his head. 'There, there."

In the Emperor's quarters, Palpatine takes a look at his screen. He also senses a great disturbance in the Force. "Very Interesting…..hmmmm" He sinks back in his chair and wrings his hands.

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_To be continued… 'I Can Explain Everything' _


	45. Chapter 45 I Can Explain Everything

_Chapter 45_

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_I Can Explain Everything'_

'_Vader Knows Best – Dueling with Grandpa'_

'_From Here to Sandy Eternity'_

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Ruwee Naberrie is livid. He is fit to spit bullets. Jobal is nervous watching him pace in the living room. She has never seen her husband this upset since fifteen years ago on that fateful day in the courtroom.

He had already surmised whose fault this was. Leaving minor children home alone for four days! It was inexcusable. That Anakin Skywalker is the worst father ever. His poor daughter must be distressed in the heavens knowing how poorly her children are being cared for.

Meanwhile, Jobal is in the dayroom near the kitchen feeding cakes and blue milk to the two _'destitute' half-orphan _offspring of her beloved daughter. She got used to having blue milk around the house during the Luke and Leia twins bi-weekly visits to Naboo when they were very young.

The twins are summoned to Naboo that Saturday afternoon. Han was good enough to transport them down there. He quickly left because reporters were on his tail and he wasn't exactly welcome on the Naboo estate. Leia was insulted that her grandfather didn't give her credit for having the status as a junior senator to be able to stay home alone for a weekend. She knows any excuse would fall on deaf ears.

Their Aunt Sola stops by to check on them. She smiles and embraces her niece and nephew.

"Oh, I miss you two so much."

Leia tries to make a joke, "Aunt Sola, you saw us last month."

'But I worry about you."

"Why? We're fine. Aren't we fine, Luke?"

"Terrific." He is less than thrilled. On any other occasion he would love to be on Naboo visiting his grandparents, but today it felt like a _'Jedi under Prosecution'_

"Your grandfather thinks your father has turned you into degenerates."

"Why? Just because Luke put his hands on his girlfriend's hooters?"

"She's not my girlfriend. Stop telling everyone that!"

Jobal walks over and pats Luke on the face. "Where did you meet this girl, Luke?"

"At the office."

Sola interrupts, "Didn't I tell you, mum? He's meeting these people at Anakin's workplace. God knows who else they've been exposed to."

Luke defends Mara. "Mara's ok. She's just lively."

Leia slouches in the sofa twirling her ponytail. "That's for sure. I like her Luke. Aunt Sola, they've known each other since grade levels."

"Thanks, Leia. She'd appreciate that... I don't think she has any really nice friends."

"Except us." She laces her fingers in his and rests her head on her brother's shoulder as they sit on the sofa pondering their confrontation with Papa Ruwee.

Darred Janren, Luke and Leia's uncle walks in from the garden. He looks at the two guilty parties on the day sofa. "Hello, delinquents."

Luke and Leia in unison, "Hello, Uncle Darred."

"You know your grandfather is terribly distraught over this episode."

Leia becomes defensive. "So, what are you saying, we're under illegal 'house arrest' because he's distraught?"

"He's really hurt by your actions."

Aunt Sola's husband telling them how badly they should feel annoys Leia.

"It wasn't our fault!"

Aunt Sola tells Uncle Darred to let the twin's grandfather deal with them.

Ruwee is so upset he hesitates confronting his youngest grandchildren. Finally they are summoned into his study. He closes the door. He is speechless for a good five minutes pacing the room. They know better than to remind him how long it's taking him to get to the point. Luke watches the path in the carpet. He preferred the carpet over looking his grandfather in the eye. Leia looks at her nails. Her heart is pounding. Finally, the patriarch of the Naberrie family speaks.

"Eighteen years, your mother has been gone and you shame her memory! What were you thinking???

Tell me that! You shamed her memory and you shamed this family. Have you seen the news?" He throws the newspaper in Leia's lap. "The entire galaxy is laughing at us. Luke, sit up straight! I have worked hard to make this family what it is today. I'm getting calls from the Governor's office! It's an embarrassment. And that father of yours leaves you home alone so he can be with another woman. She's supposed to be the voice of reason but that sure didn't last."

Leia tries to explain to him.

"Opa, it has nothing to do with who Dad's seeing. Yes, we were careless but it's our fault. We acknowledge that now. Daddy didn't tell us to go to the game. It was our idea."

"It's his fault. It's our fault for not fighting harder to get custody of the two of you. We wouldn't be in this situation right now. He's destroyed you!"

Luke is hurt by these comments. "Grandfather, Opa, we're not destroyed. And we didn't set out to tarnish the memory of our mother. Honest, we didn't."

"Well you did! This nonsense about working at that office…it's insulting that he still aligns himself with the Emperor who was partially to blame for your mother's death. You're staying here for the remainder of the weekend…."

"But…"

"Enough, Luke! It's final. I've made up my mind."

"Opa, you can't keep us here."

"Try me. There will be no sneaking out of windows in this house, young lady. Being confined here will be the least of your problems. You may lose you senate position."

Leia storms out of the room sobbing. Luke makes an attempt to go after her. Ruwee bangs his fist on the desk. "Sit down, Luke. I said, sit down." Luke returns to his chair.

Luke takes a breath and sits in the chair folding his hands on his lap. Ruwee paces again. Finally he stops and stares down at Luke.

"So, what do you have to say for yourself, Luke?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Don't be flip with me, young man. That attitude may fly with your father but won't do in this house. Do you know how shocked I was seeing my grandchildren drinking alcohol, getting into a brawl with their hooligan friends, and making out with half-naked girls? What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I wasn't drinking and I was trying to help Mara."

"Don't lie to me. I saw the whole thing! I can't get away from it! My phone has not stopped ringing since this debacle happened. We have reporters lined up at the gates. Luke, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"I'm sorry."

"Go. Get out of here. If I have to look at you again I'm going to cry."

"Grandfather, when can we go home?"

"When I say you can. Now go."

Dinner at the Naberrie home is quiet. Ryoo and Pooja, the twins' older cousins have joined the family for supper. Leia is unusually quiet. She never makes eye contact with her grandfather. Jobal is just happy to have all of her grandchildren at one table.

Back on Coruscant Mara Jade is home getting an earful from her father. Mrs. Jade timidly sits in a chair nearby as her husband sets new ground rules for his daughter. She is grounded and her speed bike is locked in the family parking bay. The press is camped outside. A magazine publisher wants to do a photo spread of her including an exclusive tell-all interview about the Skywalkers.

'**The Return of Two Headaches'**

Anakin's holiday is cut short once he finds out the embarrassing details of the events on Friday. He returns home on Sunday after dropping off Isabel at her apartment. The press is camped outside. As soon as his cruiser arrives, he immediately lowers the shield on the docking bay to fend off any intruders. He is in no mood to deal with them. He never has.

It's a good thing he was home before the children because he threw a tantrum in his study. The droids steered clear. Threepio was actually lucky today because Anakin was so angry, even taking out his anger on the droid wouldn't have made him feel better. He knew that Han Solo had played a part in this disaster but it was ultimately his own children who had betrayed him. He thought they would be responsible enough to keep out of trouble for four days. He was wrong.

That afternoon he leaves for Naboo. He is met by Ruwee in the solarium away from the reporters who are still camped out near the gates. The two men look at one another. There was never any love lost between the two except that Anakin believed he was treated unfairly. Eighteen years is a long time to hold a grudge. The damage was done. On the rare moments where they communicated, it was only for the benefit of the children and only if it was an emergency. This was one of those times.

Anakin bows respectfully to his former father-in law. "Mr. Naberrie."

"Anakin, I'm sure you're aware of the situation leading to this meeting."

"Yes, unfortunately. I apologize if my children have been a burden to you and your family and I apologize for any embarrassment this unfortunate episode has caused."

"I think you need to be home more often to keep the twins in line. You constantly substitute good parenting with material things. I see no discipline or structure in their lives."

"What?? You have no idea the lengths I go through to discipline my children. I may be guilty of giving them too many things but they are good children. Whatever I give them it's deserved. I love them and I would move planets to keep them safe and happy. I know you don't like me much…"

"You're right; I don't like you at all."

"And you would be within your right. But don't tell my children they're unruly animals. I know I've made mistakes but I still love my children. And don't insult me."

At this moment, Luke and Leia appear in the garden just outside the solarium. He excuses himself and runs to his children. Luke and Leia look contrite but they are happy to see their father. They rush to the doorway and embrace him. Anakin kisses them. Leia apologizes to her father.

"I'm sorry, Daddy."

"This will all work itself out." Anakin looks across the solarium, he gives Ruwee one long glance as he holds his children. "Go say goodbye to your grandfather. We're going home." As Anakin waits outside he can see a holograph of Padmé on a small table near a wicker armchair with green cushions. He looks back at his children then heads up the path to the waiting gondola.

After the twins say their goodbyes, they follow their father. Once onboard the cruiser Anakin can't bring himself to talk to them. He is truly hurt and disappointed in his children. He trusted them.

It was a long uncomfortable ride home. They knew this was just the beginning."

Back at the house on Coruscant Anakin holds the door open for them. Once they are inside, he force-slams the door. The sound is so loud and frightening it makes the windows and walls vibrate violently. Anakin has a scowl on his face that would frighten the most hardened Sith. He paces in front of them. His arms are folded across his chest.

"Did you get a lecture from your grandfather?"

"Yes. "

"Well now it's my turn. It will be a lot shorter but just as effective because if I start in with you two you'll be up till midnight and I am tired and I have a headache. I gave you a set of rules to follow this weekend but you thought it would be cute to defy me and run your own game…."

"But, Dad..."

"Don't Interrupt Me, Luke! Leia, you have your speeder data key?"

"Yes, but…"

"Hand it to me, please." She reluctantly hands it to her father. He then goes to Luke. Luke looks up at his father. Anakin is waiting. "Don't play dumb with me Luke. Hand it over."

Anakin eventually strips them of every access to communications and modes of transportation. He has the security data cards to the speeders and com chips in his hand. He closes his hand and crushes them to a near powder. The twins are horrified.

"Luke, pick your mouth up off the floor."

Leia protests. "Daddy, how will I get to the Galactic Senate next week? I need my speeder!"

"Take an air taxi. Luke, Obi-Wan will pick you up in the morning for training. You will then take the air taxi to my office. You had better be on time. When you're done for the day you will wait for me until I am ready to take you home. Leia, your social life is essentially over. Han Solo is off limits to this house including the parking bay. You will have supper tonight then it's to your rooms. Luke, go to your room now. Everybody's grounded indefinitely." He points in the direction to the stairs. Luke storms off to his room.

"Leia, you're going to make a public apology to the Senate in the morning. You're going to beg them not to expel you from your post. I want to read it before you go to bed. Understood?"

"Yes, sir." She starts to leave the room.

"Leia, am I going to get anymore surprises before the weekend is over? You kids are going to keep me busy doing damage control tomorrow."

"Surprises? What are you talking about, Dad?"

"Like photos of you and Han Solo in a compromising position, let's say in a car or on a beach?"

"What are you talking about? I wouldn't do anything that crazy." She thinks for a minute.

"You do know that _'Sex on the Beach'_ is a name of a drink, don't you?"

Anakin is flustered. It's a good thing she didn't turn to see his face because it was ten shades paler than the night before when he saw the evening news on the plasma during the sports segment.

"Ahh…yeah...I knew that." He whispers to himself _"Oh, crap."_

The droids are listening from the terrace. They wish to be out of the 'Angry Sith Lord's' way for as long as possible. Threepio looks down at Artoo

"Now, he said everyone's grounded. Is he including us as well, Artoo?"

Artoo chirps and beeps then hides behind the planter.

"You're right, Artoo. We had better lay low until the asteroid dust settles. He needs another holiday…far, far away."

_To be continued… 'You can't Teach an Old Sith New Tricks' _


	46. Chapter 46You Can't Teach an Old Sith

_Chapter 46_

'_Doing Time' or 'Jedi's with Dirty Faces'_

'_You Can't Teach an Old Sith New Tricks'_

'_The Emperor's New Clothes'_

'_Tears for Fears'_

Disciplining your children is a tough job but somebody's got to do it. _Life on the 'Asteroid Rock' or 'Skywalker Penitentiary' _as the twins called it was cold and harsh. They were thoroughly humiliated by being sent to bed at dusk. Dinners were unbearable. Anakin did not utter one word to them at dinner, instead he played some of his old rock music when he was a young padawan (stuff that was confiscated from him by several of the Jedi Masters (Mace, Yoda and that Ki-Adi-Mundi) because he would arrive at Jedi council wearing his headset and not paying attention. So Luke and Leia had to suffer through Ani's Heavy Metal period one night and the dinner background music for the following evening was the Mon Calamari Opera 'Darth_ Giovanni'_

Isabel decided it would be best if she stayed away until the kids were _'paroled, _but after a few days, Anakin couldn't take it anymore. He told Isabel to pack a bag and be prepared to suffer with him. She finally agreed to come over but she was forbidden to converse with the inmates unless it was to summon them to the dinner table or to visit with the _'Warden' in his office. _He warns Isabel she would suffer similar punishment by the hands of the Dark Lord should she break the rules by fraternizing with the inmates. This also met not slipping treats such as those cute cookies with Ewok faces the felons used to get as children. She was also forbidden to listen to their grievances, sympathize or comfort them when they suffered occasional emotional breakdowns. He wanted a heartless stone cold prison matron to rule at his side. He thought that would be really hot. Isabel thought it was just silly to indulge in his kinky fantasies. She couldn't do this with a straight face.

He made sure Isabel slipped up because it was a lot of fun _'torturing her' _in the 'interrogation/bed room.' Isabel wound up in interrogation a lot.

At least someone in the big house was having a good time.

'_Warden Vader' _was tough when it came down to prison duties. '_Cool-Hand Luke Skywalker' _was delegated to cleaning. The servants were given the month off with pay courtesy of the Luke and Leia Trust Fund. God Anakin loved that data pad!

Leia was commissioned to perform kitchen detail. His little princess was a scullery maid. She wasn't half bad. She needed a little work on the duck eggs. He liked his over-easy not scrambled. He would request this for breakfast every morning for a month until she got it right. (A month is also the length of her suspension from the Senate).

Her _'Mea Culpa'_ to the Senate floor was eloquent and humble. Anakin was so proud; he applauded three times during her apology speech. The girl was absolutely brilliant! Padmé would have been proud of her little jailbird daughter.

Luke and Leia thought it was time for a prison uprising. They could take hostages. Unfortunately all they had were the two droids. They would need Isabel. Leia was the ring leader. She was the most hardened. She was tired of the bad rations while her father and Isabel enjoyed haute cuisine. The maid duties were taking their toll. She broke a nail and she no longer had access to her hair stylist. Her hair was always a mess.

Anakin's lost vacation time was not forgotten. He needed to get away with Isabel for a few days to talk about their relationship. Usually it's the woman who wants to bring this up but Anakin thought it was long overdue. Needless to say, they never got far because of the shenanigans at the sports arena. He still needed to talk to her.

He did suggest she 'move in' with him but Isabel was giving him some nonsense about how much she loved her apartment and independence. Also, she did not wish to upset the delicate balance in the Skywalker home. He had no idea what the 'Sith' she was talking about. He decided he would bring up the issue again. He didn't want to wait. She didn't understand the urgency but she would soon.

Back at the Imperial Executive offices, Anakin was at his desk looking through his mail. He flips through a magazine or brochure. He is intrigued. A voice behind him speaks.

'_Who's retiring?'_

"No one…yet…. Just looking"

Qui-Gon reads over Anakin's shoulder.

'_Wow, they've got lots of activities here. Look at that golf course… You play?'_

"Hell, no! Qui-Gon, don't read over my shoulder. Wait till I'm finished. Get back…further…that's it."

'_Ani, if I move away anymore I can't see the print.'_

"Get glasses."

'_No need to get snippy. So, I noticed young Luke is doing well in the Skywalker Prison work-release program'_

"Yeah, he's desperate for it to end."

'_I can imagine.'_

"Well, he's got to know you don't do the crime if you can't do the time"

'_Gee, Ani, you're a real hardass. Have a heart.'_

"Qui-Gon, when you have a ghost kid, get back to me"

'_Now, Ani, that hurt.'_

"Really?"

'_No, just joking. But you were like a son to me back in the good old days'_

"Qui-Gon, those were not exactly 'The Good Old Days"

'_We could have gone fishing together. We could have done things. You could have been my little Ope'_

"Who would be Barney? Obi-Wan?"

The Jedi came across a time capsule over forty years ago when a space probe returned from Wild Space containing some interesting albeit primitive artifacts from a place called Earth. The artifacts were part of a traveling exhibit across the galaxy. The exhibit is now on permanent display at the Coruscant Museum of History & Science in the 'Primitive Cultures' wing. A few artifacts were discovered missing, possibly sold on the black market or in someone's private collection. Other items are on display in the Jedi Archives and employee lounge the entire box set of that '_Mayberry' _show.

This was going to be a banner day for 'His Imperial Fussiness.' Palpatine was less concerned about the Skywalker kids and their intergalactic scandal. He had just received a new shirt that he had ordered an online website called: ModernGalacticMale Dot com. Anakin has left a copy in the recycle bin outside his office. The Emperor told Jar Jar to bring back any fashion publications found in the Dark Lord's trash. Jar Jar dutifully returned with a stack of magazines. He asked Jar Jar for his favorites. Why pay good money for a schlock image consultant when he had someone with the same mentality right here in the Imperial offices. Jar Jar fit the bill. After 48 hours the package arrived. He frantically ripped opened the wrapping.

Meanwhile in the lobby of the building, Isabel had to contend with those pesky Storm Troopers. They saw her walking up the Plaza passing the Darth Plagueis monument. Some kids had sprayed yellow graffiti on the back which read: 'Palpy Played You'. Some maintenance droids were busy scouring the defaced granite monolith.

Inside the lobby, the troopers were frantically getting ready for her arrival. It was like a rehearsal.

"Does everyone know what to do? Hurry up she's coming. Don't forget to activate the door like the Emperor instructed. Ok. Let's go! Here she comes."

Isabel is about to reach for the door when one of the troopers poses as a doorman and opens the door for her. As she steps inside digital music begins to play. She is startled. She looks down and steps away. It's a musical doormat! She doesn't know if she should be frightened or amused. She steps inside again and she recognizes the first few chords of _"Fly My to the Moon of Endor"_

_She opens her purse knowing full well what the next question will be._

"Identification please"

"Sure"

Isabel opens her wallet and starts to take out her high school graduation photo. Suddenly the trooper sees something else.

"What's this?"

"OH, No. not that one…that's…" She did not intend for them to see this one.

The storm troopers gather to look at the holograph of her and Anakin on the beach on Yavin 4 She is in a white sarong. One of the cabana droids had taken the image. It was nothing to be ashamed of. It was a beautiful image of the couple but she has not share it with anyone except with Anakin. Her closest friends had not seen it and she shows them everything…almost.

The storm troopers gather and utter, in unison, a disturbing _'Oooooooh' _

"_Can we have this?"_

"_No. _May I go now?"

"Oh, ah sure, Miss Nor." The lead trooper returns the holograph to her.

"Thank you."

"_Thank you!" _They all 'high-five' one another as she walks away.

She heads up to see Anakin. That was a bizarre moment. She wanted to remember to inform Anakin about this 'creepy' incident as soon as she saw him.

She was heading towards Anakin's office when the doors open to the Emperor's office. Jar Jar is fluffing Palpatine's silver crown and glory. And boy was it glorious. Palpatine was frantically brushing Jar Jar away so he could be the first to greet Isabel at the door. But first he turns to Jar Jar.

"How do I look, Jar Jar? You think she'll be impressed?"

"Shesa be shocked at your transformation your Imperial Tackiness. Yousa all fluffed up and ready to go."

"Ok, ok…get your hands off me you flap-eared moron."

"Humph! Suit yourself. Isa goin now."

Isabel is approaching the Emperors door when out he pops. She is startled.

"Oh! My!"

He looks like Louis XV in a powdered wig and the new shimmering print balloon-sleeved shirt under his tunic looked like something a 70's disco hustler would wear.

"Miss. Nor! How lovely for you to stop by. "

"Hello, Your Excellency. How are you?"

"Charmed... How beautiful you look today." He tries to blow the big curl off his forehead. He was in such a rush to run out to the hall that he never took another look in the mirror. Jar Jar penciled in a 'beauty mark on his left cheek after applying white kabuki pancake make-up. "Come in. Let's talk."

"Actually I should be going. I was delayed in the lobby and I'm on my way to see…"

"Again, yes, I know. Why don't you sit and keep me company, humm?"

"Ok. Just for a few minutes. I really shouldn't"

Palpatine leads her over to a red two-seater across the room. He takes her hand and caresses it. He starts to kiss her fingers.

"Oh, Isabel, let me help you, my dear. I can offer power beyond your dreams…You could rule by my side. All the designer shoes and clothes your heart desires."

"I'm sure Mrs. Palpatine would not be pleased." He leans in and puckers his wrinkled lips as if to kiss her.

"There Is no Mrs. Palpatine!"

He pounces on her. She tries to back away.

"I'm sorry, but I can't stay."

"If you could only see me out of these clothes…"

"AAAAH!"

"Isabel !"

Isabel has crawled up on top of the sofa as Palpatine tries to grab her ankle.

"Anakin!"

Anakin takes swift and decisive action.

Back I his office Anakin tosses his latest workplace violation citation on Gladys' desk. Isabel takes a seat. She straightens her dress. He embraces her.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes. I'm fine. Will you get fired for punching out the Emperor?"

"Would you be upset?"

'For you, yes."

"Jar Jar took holographs of the Emperor in that get up of his. He wouldn't dare. Isabel, we need to talk."

"Oh?"

Qui-Gon is still in the room. _'Finally!'_

"Finally."

Anakin looks over at her. She is flipping through a magazine.

"What did you say?"

She looks up from the magazine. "We can talk Anakin, are you ok?"

"I'm…I'm fine."

Qui-Gon looks over at Anakin and disappears.

**Downstairs in the Commissary**

A few weeks have passed since the incident. Luke has been forbidden to socialize with Mara since her flashing performance in the stands. They would sit at the opposite sides of the cafeteria from each other.

She had initially become a hero in school. The tabloids penned her as _'the "It Girl" Who Brought Down the Skywalkers.'_ Her behaviour was not well-received, by her fellow interns however. Even Palpatine was disappointed in her. '_Shocking' _and '_Unfortunate'_ were his words. Who would have thought? Poor Mara had gone from media darling to publicity seeker. Her 15 minutes of fame barely made 14. It was so unfair. People misunderstood. This isn't what she was about at all. How could she set the record straight if no one would speak to her, especially anyone who mattered?

She sat alone at her usual table where she playfully taunted Luke more than a month earlier. Luke finally enters the dining area. He doesn't even turn in her direction as he carries his lunch tray. He hears his name being called. He finally turns. A smile of surprise is on his face.

"Callista? Hi, how are you?"

"I'm better. Thanks. Where are you sitting?"

"Over there looks good." They walk across the dining room to a table near a window overlooking the garden.

Thanks for the flowers and cards from you and your family."

"We wanted to visit but…"

"No, it was better that you didn't. Your father stopped by to visit. That was more than enough. He sat with my parents the whole night in the family room in the ICU. My mom was a wreck. She was so embarrassed crying on your Dad's shoulder while my Dad spoke to the doctors. She even sent him a letter to thank him and to apologize for making a fool of herself."

"He understands things like that. He's had his share of loss and tragedy."

"Right. I remember."

"You look good."

"My hair is shorter. I should be grateful. I haven't had hair for almost a year before this."

"It's nice. I like it. So who are you interning for?" He takes a bite from his roast _shaak_ sandwich.

"Governor Tarkin. He's not the most charismatic person to work for but he doesn't ask for much. I rarely see him during the day anyway. There is a third year intern who works for him. His name is Renfield. He's like super particular about how things are done in the office. He's really loyal to the Governor. I guess that's good. He's just a bit creepy with all the Goth make-up and gear. So, that's enough about me. How have you been, Luke?"

"Well, I guess you may have heard. I've been grounded because of that incident at the arena."

"Oh, yeah. Everyone in school was talking about it. So, are you really grounded for the rest of the month?"

"Well, my father said 'indefinitely.' I suppose it depends on his mood. He hasn't spoken to us much since it happened. He was mad as a nexu when he brought us home. The hardest part of being grounded is him not talking to us and losing all of our privileges."

"Now you're just like the rest of us poor kids." Callista savors a spoonful of pera gelatin.

She became addicted to it at the hospital when she was removed from the intensive care unit at Coruscant University Hospital. It was the first thing she was given to eat after being on an I.V. drip for three months. Her body had wasted away to almost nothing. She didn't want visitors. That's why Luke had never been there to visit. Anakin told Luke she was susceptible to infection and the doctors did not wish to expose her to anything that might hinder any chance of recovery. This was partially true. Anakin didn't like to lie to his children.

"You're not poor."

"Compared to your family? Please."

"Anyway, he can't be mad at us forever. I know there's a forgiving bone somewhere in him."

"Oh, I meant to tell you, I saw his girlfriend in the building a few minutes ago. I've never seen the Imperial troopers so in awe of one person the way they were when she came through the lobby doors."

"Oh, yeah. Well, Isabel has that effect on men. When she took care of us years ago, we used to get into museums and shops after closing. We even got private tours through the Imperial Museum of Intergalactic Culture. She's a really cool person. Dad loves her a lot. She's great to have around because he tends to leave us alone for awhile."

"You think she'll stick around?"

"As long as my dad doesn't do anything stupid. He's clumsy at love. He's gotten better though."

Mara sits alone at her table in the commissary dining room. He picks at her food. Suddenly a tray slides full-speed across the table in front of her. She sits silently as the 'visitor begins to make a big commotion with the flatware and begins crunching on something. The sound is grating.

"Do you have to sit here?"

"Why not? You don't exactly have a fan club around you. What's wrong? Jedi boob-boy bailed on you?"

"Shut up, Craul."

"Got his free-feel then threw you to the curb, eh? Typical. Mara, if you wanted a real man …" He holds out his arms as if to say 'Here I am.' He is still chomping on some vile grub on his plate; knife and fork still in-hand."

"I'm just as fond of black gundark leather as the next person but that coat would be more appropriate if worn on Hoth."

"I'm just a cool guy." Craul sees Mara looking across the room watching Luke and Callista. He smiles then grunts. "Looks like the sickly 'good girl' has the heart of your Jedi boy." He looks into Mara's eyes. The tears welling up makes them resemble glimmering Felucia emeralds. Craul is surprised by this. His pursed lips now form into a crooked smirk. Mara gets up and flees from the table.

She never cries but she was doing it now. She finds refuge in the Ladies refresher. No one was inside. She grabs a bunch of paper towels and holds them to her mouth. She doesn't want anyone to hear her sobs.

"Mara? Are you alright?"

She quickly attempts to dry her face. She turns then manages a weak smile.

"Isabel. What are you doing here?"

"Luke's father was going to do something to humiliate him. I said I would come down to see Luke instead. He's not always tactful when he's angry. Luke isn't angry with you. Just so you know. You look as if you need a hug. Come here."

She gives Mara a gentle hug. Mara steps back and looks into Isabel's eyes.

"Isabel, why are you crying? You might be the one who needs a hug."

"Oh, I'll be ok . . . I've just been a bit emotional lately.

_To be continued… 'Talking In Your Sleep ' _

_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours for the next story. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy**_


	47. Chapter 47 Talking In Your Sleep

_Chapter 47_

'_Talking In Your Sleep '_

The Skywalker Penitentiary was in lock-down. Anakin caught wind of a threatened takeover but it was thwarted. Their planned hostage, Isabel had not been at the house for over a week. Day thirty-two and no end in sight. Qui-Gon and Mace would pop in and out on occasion just to taunt them. Leia would soon be allowed to leave the big house for her return to the Galactic Senate. Now she too would be a work-release program just like Luke.

Leia was welcomed back to the Senate floor with a flurry of cheers and applause. She was happy to be back. She still suffered the embarrassment having to be dropped off each morning and picked up by C3PO. The shinny pain-in-the ass martinet never deviated from his assigned program. Anakin had all bases covered.

Luke reported for training as usual that Monday morning. Yoda was on hand to observe Obi-Wan's training of the young padawan. He was enjoying life on Yavin 4 at the Skywalker country home. He couldn't wait to return.

Anakin was in a classroom in Human Resources attending 'Violence in the Workplace' workshop. Part of the workshop involved watching a holovideo of some violence-in the-workplace scenarios. There was a Q & A segment which was to aid the attendees in learning how to know when you anger flows over into physical a physical altercation. Anakin felt he could answer this one: 'IMMEDIATELY' He had to make a list of things that pissed him off and explain why. He answered the same thing for each item:

'BECAUSE I WAS PISSED OFF'

The instructor had seen Anakin in his class so many times in the past year he passed him anyway. The instructor secretly delighted in the fact that Anakin had sucker-punched the Emperor. Jar Jar must have known the assault was coming because he was waiting in the wings with a cold pack for the Emperor's nose and swollen eye. Anakin thought the entire incident was funny. Isabel is perched on the top of the sofa in her heels trying to fend off the creepy old coot with her purse by whacking the old man on his head. Anakin added insult to injury by punching the old man. That was the last time he and Isabel laughed together that day.

Anakin still had to post his new certificate on his door. When he returned to his office he had the certificate in-hand. Gladys smiles like a proud mother. This is one document no one would be proud of for any reason but she was happy whenever her boss was recognized for his _'achievements.' She felt _he was so misunderstood. Anakin thought it was more than that. He was always pissed off because he was surrounded by idiots! This was one of his other responses to the survey questions he had to answer.

"Oh, Lord Vader, you have a new certificate. How nice. Would you like me to call maintenance to mount it for you, dear?"

"No, thanks. Gladys. I got it. Hand me a stapler please? Thanks." He had better not find another pit bull sticker on his door. Leia was under some weak delusion that she was a comedian. Those vicious dog stickers did not help his image. He could have used her support. His office door was the talk of the Executive office.

He takes the stapler and positions the new certificate above the previous certificate and, with his powerful fist; he punches the staple into the paper. It was crooked but it wasn't going to come loose. He gently places the stapler back on Gladys' desk.

"Thank you, Gladys."

"You're welcome sir."

Anakin goes into his office and locks the door. He stands at the window looking out over the city. He is there for several minutes before he finally hears someone calling him. It is Gladys. She is standing in the doorway.

Lord Vader?

"Yes, Gladys?"

"Former Chancellor Valorum is here to see you, Sir."

"Thank you, Gladys. Send him in."

Anakin turns away from the window to await his guest. The men shake hands and Anakin closes the door.

Isabel cancelled her weekly lunch appointment with Luke and Obi-wan the previous week. The lunches were something Luke was still able to attend during his punishment. She wasn't in the mood to be sociable. Luke understood. At least she called. This week things would get worse.

At the courthouse, Isabel is listening to a child custody case. She is barely taking notes. She had not gotten much sleep the night before. She was thinking about taking some meditation classes to clear her mind. She thought she was hearing voices. At the end of the hearing, the judge asked if she had any recommendations to make. She had none. Her 'notes' never made it to paper.

Her friend and mentor Lara Rieekan stops by her office. She was a relative of General Carlist Rieekian of Alderaan. She was the first to notice Isabel's gift of working with young children and problem-solving. She was the darling of the professors at the university. She was hardworking and a good listener. Dr. Professor Lara Rieekan –Pakkin saw Isabel's talent and encouraged her to continue on to Graduate school. She was so unlike the other students whose arrogance and failure to listen made them ineffective in their scientific findings in accessing test cases. She was a dream student. Today the 'dream student' was having a nightmare. Lara stands in the doorway of Isabel's office.

"Hey, kiddo, what the Hoth was going on with you today?"

"Lack of sleep. I'm sorry. I know I was awful today."

"You weren't awful. You would have had to be breathing to be awful. You totally zoned out during that case. Was it that boring?" She says this with a sense of humor.

"I'm just a little stressed out."

"I think you need another vacation." She closes the door and takes a seat.

"No, I just need some sleep."

"Problems in 'paradise'? Don't answer that. I'm sure dating Anakin Skywalker is no picnic. You don't look happy. Isabel…a word of unsolicited advice. Let it go. No one will fault you for walking away."

"I'm trying."

"Take some time off. Go away. Enjoy yourself. You don't owe anyone anything. Be selfish for a change. My husband wants to set you up on a date with one of his researchers. He thinks it would be very therapeutic. You can go from crazy Sith to boring Geek"

"Thanks. I think I'll take you up on the vacation offer."

There was a great disturbance in the Force. The night is full of restless sleepers.

Leia thinks about Han. He kept himself busy during the past month with some deliveries to the Meridian Sector. Chewie enjoyed the trip. He had not spent much time with his old friend in weeks. They had time to catch up on events on Corellia. Leia meanwhile had faith that her stubborn father would allow her to bring Han by the house again…someday. For now she needed sleep.

Luke was wide awake in bed. He was thinking about Mara. He felt terrible for her but something else was happening and he couldn't fully focus on her.

Anakin didn't go to bed until late. He had trouble sleeping too. He stands outside his bedroom on the balcony. He rubs his head. He is agitated. "Isabel, what are you doing?" He returns to bed.

Isabel has not gotten good nights sleep for some time now. Even after a warm bath sleep wouldn't come. She tossed and turned and threw all off the pillows off the bed. She retrieves the small neck pillow and cradles it to her face. There was no comfortable spot in the bed that would help her fall asleep. She lay on her back looking up at the ceiling. The only illumination in the room that night is a moon and twinkling lights from the metropolis. She whispers: "Who are you and why are you here?"

_To be continued… 'Free At Last! ' _

_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours for the next story. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy**_


	48. Chapter 48 Free At Last

_Chapter 48_

'_Never Leave a Sith Alone in the Hall, He will Embarrass you'_

'_Free At Last! '_

'_Speed Dating and the Single Storm Trooper'_

The last time Anakin spoke to Isabel she told him she needed a break and that they should stop dating for awhile. Anakin was livid.

"_Are effing with me? What the Hoth is wrong with you?"_

"_I'm stressed out right now. I just need to get away."_

"_For how long?"_

"_I don't know. I have a lot on my mind."_

"_Like what?"_

"_I'm not getting any work done. There's a case pending and I haven't studied it. I need to focus. This is important. It's my career."_

"_I thought I was your career."_

"_Boyfriends aren't careers. They're hobbies." _

"_What?"_

"_You know what I mean…Listen, I need to do this. I have been with you almost everyday lately. My work is suffering, I'm tired. You're wearing me out, Anakin. I need a rest from all of this. I feel like crap. I feel I've let my bosses down."_

"_I don't give a damn about your bosses or your career. There, I said it! I know I'm selfish but I need you more than those people do. Move in with me."_

"_No."_

"_Why not?"_

"_I like the way things are."_

"_Why? You're afraid of your father, aren't you?"_

Isabel didn't answer but Anakin knew. The issue of her father was still keeping her from moving on with her life. Isabel was smart and giving and great at helping others but she was terrified of her father. Mr. Nor could be harsh and demanding. He made Anakin look like a big pushover. She was the perfect daughter. She never disappointed him. Her grades in school were always perfect and she never gave him cause for embarrassment…until she met Anakin Skywalker.

After the argument in his office that day she left in a hurry. She made one stop to the commissary to speak to Luke. This is where she ran into Mara. She spoke to her briefly before leaving. On her way out of the building she yelled at the Storm troopers.

"_Get a life, G…damit! The dating café is down the block."_

The Storm troopers turned to one another then turned to her.

"_Oh, wow, thanks!"_

She wasn't listening. She just wanted to get as far away as possible. She hailed an air taxi.

Wednesday Evening before dinner Anakin has barely noticed Leia walking through the door. It was six o'clock and she was finished at the Senate building two hours ago.

Luke was given a day off from the office because Anakin was in trade negotiations most of the day punching out a plan for the planets Bimmiel and Ord Binur to share mining rights in some of the minor systems along the Tingle Arm of the Galaxy. He was slowly losing patience with these losers quibbling over a bunch of dust- laden mines. He had other things on his agenda.

After the meeting he returned to his office. He was tired of being angry with Isabel. He had been trying to reach her all morning. There was no answer at her office and at her home, the answering system was activated. She switched from a recording of her voice to a computer-generated voice. She was doing this on purpose to torture him so he would run back to her and beg for forgiveness. He wasn't proud; he would have if he could only get catch up to her. She was being a real bitch lately! He would tell her so when he saw her.

So now he was home. Dinner would soon be served. He was glad Leia's prison term was up because she was a lousy cook. She prepared the only dish she knew: Shaak Fricassee. It looked…and tasted like the paste he used in Mos Eisley Elementary School. He ate it anyway for several reasons:

It was all there was for dinner.

Isabel wasn't there to prepare a decent meal. Where was that woman anyway?

He didn't want to hurt Leia's feelings

She might murder me in my sleep if I bitched about her cooking.

She's my little princess. Anything she prepares tastes like Heaven (if your taste buds are dead)

There's nothing worse than a woman with a temper. He expected this from his little princess but not his darling Isabel. God she turned. What ungodly thing did he do to make her so miserable?

He walked over to the plasma to access the music archives. He started selecting all of Isabel's favorites. He remembered he had created a shortcut containing all of her favorites, even the syrupy love songs. He would do anything for her. He sees Luke.

Luke walks over and stands behind his father. "Hi, Dad."

"Luke… I trust training went well today."

"It was ok. Obi-Wan was kicking my ass today. Yoda stopped by again to observe. I could have sworn he was laughing at me. That old guy's got stamina."

"Yeah, Obi-Wan can sure kick ass. I know first hand. Don't underestimate the old goat. So, how was your weekly lunch get-together with Isabel? I'll have to remember to join you sometime."

"Uhm…she never showed up."

"You mean she cancelled?"

"No. I mean she never showed up. Never called. It's so unlike her. She usually leaves me a message if she's delayed or just can't make it. I tried calling her. I keep getting voicemail. She never said anything about going away either."

Anakin rubs his chin. "Something's going on. I know she's around. I can feel it." He starts pacing.

Leia watches Anakin pacing the living room. "Dad, you're pacing like a nervous nexu. You're making me crazy. I'm exhausted. Luke, did you have trouble sleeping last night?"

"I haven't slept well for that past week. It's probably why Obi-Wan kicked my ass today."

"Obi-Wan?"

"Yeah. He yelled at me. Then Yoda started yelling at me. They told me my concentration was off. I sensed something in the Force."

Leia confirms his feelings are accurate. "So did I…."

Luke looks at his father. "What do you think, Dad?"

"Uhmm…Yes, I know…."Anakin is barely keeping up with the conversation. His responses sound distant, almost disconnected. Luke feels as if he is talking to himself.

"Dad? Dad! What's with you today?"

Anakin has zoned out while Luke was talking about his day. He slowly comes out of it but not fully.

"Oh…Listen. I'm going over there." He heads for the door."

"Do you know what it is? Dad, you're scaring me."

His father leaves the house.

Anakin jumps in his air speeder and cruises at top speed. He could have gotten a traffic ticket but he was lucky.

He arrives at her apartment door. He presses the door buzzer. Nothing. He was becoming angry. He calls her. Again, no answer. He pounds on the door. A tenant arriving home sees Anakin.

"Usually a no answer means the person's not home, pal."

Anakin gives him his classic scowl. The man fumbles with his access key and hurries inside his apartment slamming the door behind him and sets all of the locks.

Anakin thinks to himself:

'_Good, you had better lock yourself in you spineless space slug. I can still choke your ass.'_

Anakin focuses his attention on her door again. He is so angry he is tempted to use the Force to gain access but he didn't want to embarrass her. Screw embarrassment. She wasn't coming to the door. He was about to take action.

"Isabel. I know you're there. Don't make me break down this door!"

He thought to himself: _This chick is stubborn! She's been picking up Leia's bad habits._

Anakin decides to try a gentler approach. He speaks softly now. Those stupid anger management classes weren't so useless after all.

"Bel, sweetie" He rolls his eyes. He can't believe he's been reduced to groveling in the hallway of an apartment building. He's Darth Vader! This is embarrassing. "Bel, honey, open the door. Let's talk." The hallway is quiet. He presses his face and chest against the door. He touches it. He can feel her inside. He closes his eyes. He can hear the beating of their hearts and lets out a heavy sigh. "I'll be available anytime you want to talk; I want you to know that. I want to hear from you, Isabel. Please talk to me."

Back at the Skywalker home Leia finds Luke on the terrace looking out at the evening sky. She hugs him.

"Luke, we're about to be released from prison. I can feel it. Isabel is our hero."

"I'm not so sure she feels the same way."

_To be continued… 'Prison Release and Hiding Out ' _

_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours for the next story. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy**_


	49. Chapter 49 Prison Release & Hiding Out

_Chapter 49_

'_Prison Release and Hiding Out '_

'_Forgiveness'_

'_A Tiny Disturbance In the Force'_

Great! That's all she needed was to have the 'Crazy boyfriend' show up at her door causing a racket. She wouldn't be able to show her face for a week.

She was listening to Anakin making a scene at her apartment door for an hour. She knew he was gone but she couldn't bring herself to move just yet. She had been sitting in her dressing gown on the white marble floor of the refresher. She hugs her knees to her chest and rests her head against the vanity.

She took another glance at the scan card. The indicator was blue. She shook it several times hoping it was an incorrect reading. She hated the Imperial Pharmaceutical Company. They have the best accuracy record in the galaxy. The company boasted one hundred percent accuracy on every bloody test. Arrogant jerks. She hated everyone right now. She certainly hated Anakin but she hated herself more.

How could she let this happen? She's an intelligent professional woman. How could she have been so careless? This was not going to be easy to explain. Her father would be disappointed in her. She had to think this though. She managed to stand. She had been sitting for so long on the cold marble floor, he behind was numb. It was time to leave the refresher. But not for long. She returned with a pillow and a thermal blanket. She figured this would be the most convenient place to be tonight. She wasn't feeling so great. She didn't want to make a run from the bed every time she had to heave. She had done all the crying she could. She was exhausted. She settled down for the night on the floor.

Anakin returned home late that night. He was feeling a bit depressed. Isabel refused to speak to him. She let him stay in that inhospitable hallway where nosy neighbors gave him suspicious glances. He thought the neighborhood watch, Barney Fife wannabe was holed up in his loser bachelor pad across the hall dialing COR911 for the Imperial Swat Team.

Leia waited up for him but he didn't acknowledge her or the person sitting beside her on the sofa.

He goes straight to his study and closes the door behind him. Leia waited for a few minutes then opens the door to his study. She holds out her arms. She gives her father a big warm embrace and gently strokes his hair.

"Everything will work itself out. I love you, Daddy."

"Thanks, Princess. That means a lot. It's late. You need to get up early tomorrow."

"I know."

"And tell Mr. Solo…."

"I know, Daddy. He's leaving now. He was just keeping me company. Goodnight, Daddy."

"Goodnight, Leia."

"Oh, you'll be joining us tomorrow night for dinner, won't you? Remember? Two of my colleagues from the senate are my guests.

"Of course. I'll be there."

"Good. I love you."

"I love you too, Princess."

Leia returns to the living room. Han gets up from the sofa and kisses her.

"He knew I was here, didn't he?"

"Yes. Han, My father may be a little preoccupied this evening but he doesn't miss much."

"So, are you going to tell me what's going on or is it still a family secret?"

"I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Has he gotten over the energyball game fiasco?"

"No. It's just not one of his primary concerns right now. Let me walk you out before he gets the urge to do it himself."

"Good idea. See you tomorrow."

"I love you."

"I know."

Anakin decided it was time to retire for the night. There were no Force-Ghost mentors from his Jedi past to visit with Jedi words of wisdom. He would wait for tomorrow. Things had to get better.

**_MASSAGE: ONLY 5 CREDIT_**

Morning was uneventful except Palpy was getting his morning massage. Jar Jar possessed many talents, most of which were useless. Palpatine discovered that the daffy Gungan was an A-1 masseuse.

The Emperor had a rough few weeks. The massage relaxed him. As he lay on the table the Gungan's firms but gentle hands worked their magic. Palpatine's face is positioned in that head rest hole of the massage table.

"Oh, Jar Jar. No one knows the troubles I've seen. Nobody knows but…."

"If you gonna start singing, Your Imperial tone-deafness, Jar-Jar be taking a break."

"No, no…stay, my Gungan half-wit. You're nice to have around. My once promising Sith Apprentice has turned against me. He's been seduced by that siren who flaunts that nubile body of hers, to get men to fall at her feet. She's intoxicating…I have never been in the presence of such a gentle beauty…Jar-Jar? Take it easy. You're getting a bit rough. ACCKKKK..."

Jar-Jar is looking under the table. He is face-to face with the Emperor.

"Yousa feeling okiday, Imperial wretchedness?"

"Aggggggghh! Jar-Jar. Acck! What are you doing down here? Who's massaging me?"

"Why it's me, your closest confidant. Am I not as nubile and desirable as Lord Vader's mistress?"

"Acck! Sly…Sly Moore, my dear! I wasn't expecting you. How lovely of you to join us…."

"Shut up you old goat! You've cheated on me for the last time. You want a massage? I'll give you a massage you cheating SOB!"

She violently twists his head sideways. He lets out a cry like a nexu in heat.

'Sly! No more. I'm done! Accck!'

'Say my name!"

The Emperor whimpers on the table.

"Sly"

"Say my name!" She slaps his back using a whip

"Madame Blue"

"That's better."

Palpatine whimpers like a little girl. Jar Jar sits in the Imperial chair and spins around. Sly looks over at Jar-Jar as she works her magic on Palpatine.

'You like the chair, Ja-Jar?"

"Yea! Meesa lika chair real fine."

"It's yours. Take it."

"Ohhh! Meesa tank yousa mucho! Ja-Jar can play Evil Emperor now!"

Palpatine is stuck in the massage table. His protests are ignored as Jar-Jar carries the chair out of the office.

"No,No,No,No!"

Sly Moore grins and continues to torture him as Jar-Jar bounces happily to his little cubby-hole to enjoy his new chair.

"Isa yous thweatinin me, Massa Jeedi? Ani, Isa knews yousa can do it! Kill Him. Kill Him now! Isa need yousa help, son. Show no merci. Kil da Jedi! Weeeeeeeee!" He spins in the chair until he is dizzy.

**A RAINY EVENING**

Leia is celebrating the induction of two of her private school classmates to the Galactic Senate. Han is one of Leia's guests. She wanted him there even though he finds these types of events boring. He didn't mind doing it for her. One of Leia's mentors is also there with a few other guests and Anakin. Anakin's mind is elsewhere for most of the evening but he manages some small-talk and is genuinely gracious towards Leia's friends and colleagues.

Anakin is about to leave his seat. He excuses himself. Hr tells the servant to go tend to other matters and he will answer the door. It has been raining. He opens the door. He breaks into a smile. It is Isabel. She has been crying. He takes one look at her and immediately takes her in his arms. He kisses her face. She is drenched. She had left her umbrella home and she waited several minutes before going to the canopy for cover and ringing the bell. She didn't know what to say to him. She then realized he would already know. He is happy to see her.

"I missed you, woman. Isabel, why couldn't you just tell me?"

"I was upset with you. I was so hurt by the things you said. I couldn't bring myself to tell you anything. I'm sorry."

"No. I'm sorry. I was selfish. You're right. I'm a stupid man but I love you. Forgive me. Isabel, come inside, you're soaking wet. You'll get sick."

Anakin brings her into the dining room to meet everyone. Anakin makes it brief. Leia understands. He takes her into the bedroom to get dry. He closes the door and helps her undo her dress.

"How is he? How are you?"

"Ok."

"You look beautiful" He grabs two fresh towels and begins to dry her hair. "I'll get you a robe. Can I touch him?"

"There's nothing there."

"I know he's inside you. I've known it for weeks. And if you're wondering if I'm happy, the answer is "Yes." Anakin gives her a gentle kiss on her forehead.

Anakin gets her settled in before he returns to Leia's dinner party. He politely excuses himself again just as dessert is being served and retires for the evening.

Just before the guests leave, Luke and Leia knock on the door to the master bedroom. They enter quietly. Anakin is still dressed as he rests on the bed. Isabel is in his arms sleeping. He gets up and stands outside in the hall to chat with them. Luke and Leia exchange warm embraces with their father. Luke pats his father on the shoulder.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes, we're fine. Isabel is fine. Are you okay with this?"

Leia grins and hugs her father. "Of course we are. Congratulations, you wild man."

Luke whispers to his father. "So, are you going to do the honorable thing or are we going to have to get Han in here to pistol-whip you with his blaster?"

"Of course, I'll do the honorable thing."

Luke pinches his father's cheek. "You crazy kids…. So, Dad…Is this a good time to ask…"

"No! We'll talk in the morning. I'll give you another chance to ambush me then. Go back to your guests before Han talks them into a game of sabacc and they lose all their credits."

Leia and Luke say good night to their father before he goes back inside his room.

"See you in the morning, Dad."

Leia gets one more jab in before he closes the door. "Congratulations on your little beach baby."

Luke adds his own remark as they head down the hall back to their guests. "There's something about this family and sand."

Anakin chuckles. "Alright, you two. Good night."

**Imperial Palace**

Back at the Emperor's apartment. He looks out over the Coruscant night sky.

"Another Skywalker child….This one I will get early."

Palpatine turns to enter his sleep quarters. He is wearing a high neck brace. He moves with some difficulty. He stumbles to his bed and crashes into the table lamp.

"Help…I've fallen and I can't get up! Help…anybody…please…help…"

Just outside of the Emperor's sleeping quarters the Royal Imperial body guards look at one another.

"Did you hear something?"

"I thought I did but it's probably another one of those hour-long info commercials. He tends to stay up late watching the plasma a lot."

"Yeah. Those new viewing sets have great surround sound. Makes you think the commercial is right there in your living room. Sweet."

_To be continued… 'News Travels Faster than a Star Destroyer/Confronting the Father' _

_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours for the next story. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy**_


	50. Chapter 50 News Travels Fast

_Chapter 50_

'_News Travels Faster than a Star Destroyer/Confronting the Father'_

The rain had stopped sometime before dawn. Anakin decided to work from home today. He leaves a message for Gladys to cancel any meetings he had scheduled and she could leave at noon. He preferred to tell her to take the day off but Gladys wouldn't hear of it. She was flawlessly loyal to her boss. She also believed that he should always have someone around to be his eyes and ears in the event of shady goings on, i.e. The Emperor.

Since Anakin wasn't going into the office, this meant that Luke would be free for the rest of the day. Luke reported for training at dawn as usual. Obi-Wan was still picking him up. Anakin had not released Luke's air speeder yet. He didn't feel the twins learned their lesson fully. He wasn't about to buckle just because he had forgiven them for the event at the arena over a month ago. He didn't want to get an earful from Ruwee Naberrie about what a horrible father he was.

After Luke and Leia spoke to their father last night they walked out onto the terrace and did their little celebration dance the way they did when they were 6 years old. They held hands and performed their own version of _'Happy, Happy! Joy, Joy!' _ They jumped gleefully up and down in the evening rain.

"Praise the Dark Lords everywhere! Free At Last! Free At Last! What a Dream! They have found the Promised Land. Hallelujah!" Now their father would have another sibling to torture and make life miserable for! They would soon be emancipated teens as far as Luke and Leia were concerned. It took 10 years too long but it finally happened. 'Dad is off our backs.' No more riding Luke's ass about that stupid pizza joke on Palpy and no more nagging him about his raggedy band of friends who hung around Toschi station on Tatooine. Anakin would forget about using that diabolical data pad. They gave it to him as a birthday gift when he hit the big 4-0. It was a B-I-G mistake.

Leia would soon be free to hang out at the hottest make out points near the Outer Rim. And she had her eye on this cool copper-colored bikini. She would now have the nerve to buy it. Dad's going to be too busy changing diapers to go snooping around. The twins were so giddy they could barely contain themselves.

Luke didn't do too shabbily in training this morning either. He bested Obi-Wan in a mock duel test. Luke got cocky. He gave a victory yell and pumped his fist. "Yes! That's what I'm talking about! I'm the man.!"

Obi-Wan warned him that shouldn't celebrate too soon. The Force could just as easily turn around and give the overly-happy padawan a big bite in the ass! "Don't count on a new baby in the house to distract your father from keeping you in check."

Back at home Anakin keeps Isabel company in the refresher. He holds her hair away from her face as she loses her breakfast. He chooses this inopportune time to hold a conversation. She is immediately annoyed.

"So, were you ready thinking about leaving me?"

"Of course I was."

"Even when you new you were having my child?"

"I hadn't thought that part through yet. Do you mind if we don't discuss this now?"

"I just want to know what was going through your mind."

"I was upset and angry, Anakin. You were really insensitive the last time we talked. I didn't like you much…" She leans over and dry-heaves. Anakin insists on continuing the conversation.

"Were you going to tell me?"

"I'm sure you already knew. You asked me all of this last night. Stop talking to me!... Whulp!"

She looks at him. He is covered with the remains of the breakfast she had eaten. She wipes her face with the towel then hands it to him.

"I'm sorry…I told you to stop talking to me."

He wipes his face and chest. "We should take a shower."

"That sounds like a good idea."

Luke pays a visit to the Imperial Commissary to have lunch with Callista. She is really bored with her internship and the senior intern rarely has time to talk to her or teach her anything. Most of the other interns are void of personality or just too disgusting to be around. Craul is sitting with his buddies; most of them Zabrak like himself. They find infinite joy in taunting the other interns, especially the few Jedi and mostly the non-human interns who account for two percent of the intern population.

Fortunately Craul and his buddies are too busy passing around holovids of the Emperor and his confidant Sly Moore. The holovids were part of the couples' 'private library'. Someone got hold of the explicit film showing the two in some bizarre intimate moments.

Luke and Callista decide to sit outside in the garden. Most of the older, more serious interns would sit outside at the lunch tables to discuss academia or the future of the government.

Callista is glad to have Luke as a friend. They were always friends up until she became seriously ill and had to withdraw from school. Luke was glad to have her back.

"So, I hear congratulations are in order."

"News travels fast."

"Why? Because you'll be graduating soon? I'm really happy for you. You're going to become a Jedi Knight"

"My grandparents are already planning my party. It hasn't even happened yet. I've got three more months to go. I'll celebrate then. Excuse me. Mara! Mara! Over here!"

Mara hasn't spoken to Luke since the scandal. Isabel told her that Luke was never angry with her. She wanted to believe it but she was afraid he would blow her off.

She stops and looks over at the table. Callista, the cute little blonde Luke was friendly with seems to be all Luke would want. She looks around for a moment. Nope. No other places to sit unless she wanted the 'Thinkers' table or go inside and suffer through inane conversations with Craul and his _'cloven-hooved'_ clowns he called friends.

She slowly approached the table. Luke pulls out a chair for her. Callista smiles up at Luke.

"Callista, do you know Mara?"

"Not really. Hi, Mara."

"Hello, Callista"

"I missed you." Luke was sincere. He flashed the sweetest smile a girl could ever wish for. His blue eyes were fixed on her.

Inside the cafeteria Craul and his buddies are watching from their lunch table and making cat-fight noises and laughing.

"Fresh Callista meat! Mara's going to kick her ass! I have to see that, Man!"

Luke can hear them with the force but ignored them. Another day. For now he just wanted to spend time with his friends.

At home, Anakin looks up the com number for Mr. Nor, Isabel's, stubborn as-a -Krayt dragon, father. He was about to call up the number when Isabel knocks on the door of his study.

"Are you busy?"

Anakin turns off the comm. and slides it over. He smiles up at her.

"No. Come in."

_To be continued….'Do You Mind If I Marry Your Daughter?'_

_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours for the next story. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy**_

_To be continued… _

_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours for the next story. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy**_


	51. Chapter 51 Do You Mind If

_Chapter 51_

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- **

'_Do You Mind If I Marry Your Daughter? If so, Can I Call You 'Dad?'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Anakin had pondered what he was going to say to Mr. Nor. He sat down with Isabel to discuss how to break the news to her family. She told him she was not yet ready to tell them. Anakin wanted to get the matter resolved once and for all. Isabel pleaded for him to wait. He agreed to wait a few days but he wanted to get make the announcement soon.

A week had passed and Isabel had not uttered a word to anyone. She is still afraid to confront her father he thought. Anakin is furious. He paid her a visit at her apartment. The nosy neighbor from across the hall pokes his head out of his apartment and watches as Anakin waits for Isabel to answer her door. He barks at the neighbor.

"Yeah, I'm back! What are you going to do about it?"

The man disappears inside his apartment. Isabel opens her door.

"Hi. Sorry to keep you waiting."

"Apology accepted. Your neighbor across the hall get paid to watch you?"

"Why do you say that?"

"He keeps looking across the hall to see who's at your door."

"He's just a lonely man."

Anakin closes the door for her. "Lonely and creepy. Stay away from him. He could be dangerous. How are you?" He kisses her then pats her still flat belly. He kneels before her. "And how are you, little one?"

Isabel giggles. "You're so silly. I'm not that far along yet. You're not going to get a response."

"Oh yes I did. He's telling me _'Creepy-man across the hall scares me, Daddy. Tell Mommy to move in with you immediately_'."

She rolls her eyes and laughs. "Anything else?"

He places his ear against her abdomen and smiles.

"He said that he forgives me for giving him a headache the other night. Just give him a warning when I get those 'urges'. I told him I can't help myself sometimes. Mommy is a beautiful woman."

"Anakin, now _You're _being creepy. Get up." She smiles down at him and smoothes his hair.

"No. He says you haven't told your parents yet." This time he stands and looks in her eyes. He is no longer smiling or playful. "Isabel, you're thirty 32 years old, you're not a child. What sort of hold does he have over you? Why can't you talk to him about this? I'm not asking you to stop seeing your family. All I'm saying is that you need to move on in your life. If you don't talk to your father, I will!"

He has that Darth Vader look in his eyes. He bites his bottom lip. He is furious. He backs away before he does something he will regret.

Isabel panics as Anakin turns to leave. He is about to open the door. She is sobbing.

"He won't speak to me!" Isabel begins to sob violently that she almost can't breathe. Anakin releases his grip on the door handle. He returns to her and holds her in his arms.

Anakin learns that Isabel had not spoken to her father in months since the day she and her mother met Anakin for tea. Isabel had been abandoned by her father. Her brothers had not called her for weeks and she was not invited to the first prayer ceremony for her seven year old niece.

Quisanne secretly scolded her son Stephan for following his fathers' lead in disowning Isabel. She felt guilty for not outwardly supporting her daughter. She felt horrible and confessed her sins to the holy man in their parish.

Anakin finally understood. He takes her out onto the balcony to get some fresh air. She was inconsolable. He was angered that Isabel had been treated so horribly by her own family. He felt guilt for misjudging her and implying that she was being childish for not being brave enough to speak to her family. He held onto her for what seemed to be an eternity but it was only a few minutes. He begs forgiveness and drops to his knees full of contrition. He looks up at her as tears well up in his eyes.

"Marry me."

He leaves her apartment after getting Isabel settled in for the night. She was emotionally and physically drained.

As he starts down the hall, he notices 'Nosy Neighbor' peeping through the door viewer. Anakin stands directly in front of the door and folds his arms across his chest. "You can come out now. I'm leaving."

He laughs as he heads for the elevator.

_To be continued… 'What Are We? Force Ghosts?'_


	52. Chapter 52What Are We? Force Ghosts?

_Chapter 52_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_What Are We, Force Ghosts?'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Leia has always been praised by her father for her talent in arranging family events and other social functions. When he asked her if she would help plan his wedding she was delighted. He did not want to burden Isabel with this. She had been through enough. Leia was the perfect person for this task. She was bossy and didn't take crap from anybody. Any incompetent staff would be dealt with immediately. Anakin also liked the idea of Leia taking care of this event because when she is working on something she is fully focused has no time for recreation, including _Han Solo_- type recreation.

There was also an issue concerning the invitations. There were a few that he wanted to hand deliver himself. There were also people he just didn't want at his wedding. And there were people he just didn't want but had to invite. One name immediately came to mind: The Emperor.

Those stupid etiquette experts say it's bad for to snub royalty and dignitaries, especially if you work closely with them. He was pissed that he had to invite those 'sith heads'.

He could have eloped but he did that before. It was _'effing stressful' _and it turned out badly. He was young then and he made a lot of bad mistakes which cost him dearly. This time round, he wanted to do it right. He would ask Obi-Wan to be his best man (provided _'Old Ben'_ could lay off the sauce until the reception). Oh, and then there were his 'very special' guests. This would be a problem. They could be unruly and not easily controlled. The average person would simply not understand. He loved the guests in this group but they could be demanding.

Anakin is at home in his study.

'_So, what are we? Shaak meat?'_

'Good evening, Qui-Gon. Long time no see.'

'_You know, it's not right of you to make fun of the way Yoda speaks.'_

"Qui-Gon, it's a common expression. Now, if I wanted to make fun of the way Yoda speaks, I would have said, _'Not seen, long time it has been…hmmmm?' "_

Qui-Gon laughs at Anakin's Yoda impression.

'_I guess you're right... So, Ani…what gives?'_

"What is it now, Qui-Gon?" He knows full-well where Qui-Gon is going with his tirade.

'_Oh, by the way, congratulations.' The force will be strong with the new one. He's going to be a cutie too.'_

"I know. Thanks. So why are you _'really'_ here?"

'_Mace and I were talking… and I, well…'We' feel you haven't mentioned putting us on your wedding guest list.'_

"You and Mace discussed this, eh?"

Anakin doubts the accuracy of these remarks. He continues to write. Mace appears. He is annoyed.

'_Anakin, that's not even half- true. Qui-Gon, don't try to put my name in your little conniving tirade. But since you brought it up… Hey Anakin, Look up when I'm talking to you, boy!'_

Anakin tries not to smile, but these are the two nerviest Force-Ghosts in creation!

"Yes, Master Windu. I apologize for being 'rude.' What can I do for you?"

'_Are we invited to this 'shot blaster' wedding of yours?'_

"So, you want to come to my wedding?"

"_We 'could' come to your wedding whether you invite us or not but it 'would' be nice if we received a written invitation.'_

"What?? Oops. Sorry, _'Force of habit.' _So, let me get this straight. You want a _'written' _invitation to a wedding you intend to crash in the first place?"

Qui-Gon chimes in._ 'And 'We' want to be on the published list of attendees under the Jedi and Foreign dignitaries' page of the wedding announcement. Right, Mace?' _

"Dignitaries Page? Anything else?" Anakin is amused.

Qui-Gon is offended that Anakin does not appear to take them seriously. _'Don't be patronizing, Anakin. Also, 'We' want our own table at the reception.'_

"Anything else? Who are you, the _'Jedi Union'_ representative?"

Mace has another comment to make.

'_Why did you do it, man? Her body was smoking hot. You didn't have to get her pregnant.'_

"Hey! Stuff happens. We're happy. The twins are happy. They're thrilled. Why are you laughing?"

Mace sees that Anakin has been so preoccupied with other issues that he has no clue that his children are happy about the baby for several reasons. Mace smiles more.

'_Oh, Nothing. You got all that written down? Remember, 'We' want our own table near the wedding party. Don't put us in the corner near the servants' entrance like some mentally disturbed family member. Oh, and don't tell us on the day of the wedding that it slipped your mind. We know where you live.'_

"Yes, Master, I have been taking copious notes."

Mace mocks him._** 'I've been taking 'copious' notes.' **__Listen to you! Trying to use big words now that he has a girlfriend with a PhD. Excuse us, Professor!'_

Qui-Gon laughs._ 'Ani's been getting his book learnin.' Golly, 'AniKin' we're just a couple of country Jedi ghosts. We don't know nothin' 'bout no book learnin.' _Qui-Gon laughs to himself.

"You want me to cross you off my list? I can arrange it."

Qui-Gon panics.

'_Oh, No! Geez! Ani can't take a joke! You've got to do something about that temper.'_

Anakin glances up at his former masters for a moment.

"So, where have you two been lately? I haven't heard a peep out of you for weeks."

'_Isabel heard us talking in your office one day. It freaked us out.'_ Mace stares at Qui-Gon's frequent use of the word _'we',_ especially since he, Mace, was not in Anakin's office that day.

"I was wondering about that. I didn't catch on at first when I heard her. So you got scared?"

'_We were talking about her.'_

"She can hear you?"

'_She doesn't know who we are but she can sure hear us.'_

"Why is that?"

'_It's the baby.'_

"Then perhaps it's better that you don't show up when she's around. She's under enough stress as it is. She doesn't need to listen to you two all day. Now Go. Get out of here." He continues to concentrate on the work he is doing. Without looking up, he shoos the two force spirits away with the wave of his hand.

Anakin had some important meetings to attend. His agenda was full. There were some people he had to speak to and it would not wait. He scoops up some papers, his data pad and an envelope. He had no more time for the _'Ghost ball busters.'_

_To be continued…'Legend has it; the 'Creature' could not cross the threshold to your home unless invited in by the owner…but it's only a legend'_


	53. Chapter 53 Barricade Your Homes

_Chapter 53_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Barricade Your Homes! The Creature Is Approaching! Put Out The Garlic And The Crosses!'_

'_Go Fetch'_

'_Congratulations, it's a Sith Son-In-Law'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Courtesy of _'The Force,'_ the Jedi spirits promptly received their invitations. They behaved as if it were a big surprise. They badgered poor Anakin for the better part of the day.

Qui-Gon was especially happy.

'_Hey! Look what I got in the post today! It's an invitation to Anakin and Isabel's wedding. It's so nice of them to think of us.'_

Ayala Secura whacks him over the head with the envelope.

'_Well, you didn't give them much of a choice. You bulldozed your way into the wedding. But I can't wait to go. Thanks for getting us all in.' _She smiles with glee.

'_You know me; I'm a giving sort of guy. So you are going to be my date, right?'_

'_No! Is that the only reason I got an invitation? I never said I would date you.'_

Qui-Gon reaches out to touch her tentacles

'_Qui-Gon, if you touch my tentacles you'll be the only one crying at the wedding. Back off, masher!'_

'_Easy! Just trying to be friends.'_

'_Riight…'_

Ki-Adi-Mundi shows off his invitation.

'_Hey! Look what I got!' Everyone holds up their invitation. 'Oh. I thought I was the only one to get one.'_

Qui-Gon rolls his eyes.

'_Are you on something? You're lucky to receive an invitation. Anakin didn't have to invite you. You never wanted to train him when he was a boy. You didn't like him much. So what are you going to give them as a wedding gift?'_

'_We're supposed to bring gifts?'_

'_Give me that invitation! You don't deserve it!'_

Qui-Gon taunts Ki-Adi with the invite holding it above his head. Ki-Adi tries to take it back. Qui-Gon is laughing.

_Mace yells at Ki-Adi-Mundi._

'_Ki-Adi, you're a cheap Mofo! __Don't show up at our table if you don't have a gift with you. Get out of here, you're a disgrace.'_

'_Will there be an open bar?'_

_**Barricade Your Homes!**_

'_**As legend has it; the 'Creature' could not cross the threshold to your home unless invited in by the owner…but it's only a legend'**_

Anakin had just wrapped up a meeting with Governor Tarkin and the officers who are running the space station. Callista and the senior intern Renfield were on hand to distribute P&L reports for the second quarter. Anakin finds the numbers impressive but reminds the team that there is much room for improvement. There is a bit of grumbling in the conference room but no one complains until the Dark Lord has left the building. Anakin knows what they are saying anyway.

He jumps in his speeder and heads away from downtown Coruscant City.

His speeder lands on a quiet Cul de Sac. He leaps out and marches up the walkway. The sound of his jack boots hit the terracotta walkway and echoed as if the Imperial Guard were accompanying him. He did consider an escort but felt it would be overkill. His lightsaber swung from his belt. He contemplates using it but felt that too would be a vulgar display of power.

His gloved fist knocks on the door. He notices the bell and presses it. He taps his foot and looks up at the windows for signs of life. He checks the living room window. No one yet. Anakin is not the most patient man but he will be patient for now. He folds his arms across his chest.

Nakai Nor is inside doing the same thing. He is facing the front door. He can see the shadowy figure through the frosted glass windows set up on either side of the door. The stand-off continues for several minutes.

Suddenly Anakin hears something cruising from the back of the house. It builds up speed. The creature jumps up and attacks Anakin on the leg. It growls ferociously. Anakin shakes his leg violently until the creature releases him. It flies through the air.

From inside Mr. Nor hears a whimper. He angrily heads for the door and swings it open. Anakin is standing there holding the family pet, a K-9 Droid, by the scruff of its titanium neck. Its tail wags as it looks in the door at the owner's disappointed face. The K-9 Droid immediately drops a ball it has been holding in its mouth and tries to prove to its master that it is the same ferocious watchdog sent around to attack the tall intruder. He looks at Anakin and growls. It then licks Anakin's face with a silver tongue. The tags jingling on its collar read:

HK-47 (Skippy) Nor

K-9 Droid Attack Model 007

Anakin releases the dog. It scampers into the house. Mr. Nor. is furious. It stands behind its master and barks in a half-threatening manner then runs into the next room to Mrs. Nor.

Mr. Nor tries to slam the door closed but Anakin pushes it open causing Mr. Nor to back away as Anakin approaches him.

"Hello. My I come in? Thank you." He force slams the door close.

If it were possible for smoke to come through Nakai Nor's ears and nose, this would be the time.

"Get out of my house."

"You know, I would but I have a bone to pick with you. What you have done to your daughter is ten times worse than anything I have ever done."

"I said leave my house! You are not welcome here."

"Shut up! Don't interrupt me."

"This is my house. No one tells me what to do in my house! I will kill you if you take one more step."

He reveals a blaster he had been holding behind him in his belt. He is not bluffing. Anakin is seething as he feels the butt of the blaster against his chest. Nakai is unyielding.

"You've stolen from me. You have destroyed my only daughter. You may as well have killed her because she is dead to me. So help me, I will kill you too."

"Well, before you do, here's a wedding invitation. If I'm still alive, and I suspect I will be, your daughter is to become my wife. Yes…I'm going to marry your daughter…_Dad_. Do you like the sound of that? It may take some getting used to. I like it. Apparently Isabel cares how you feel about her so I'm going to back off of you this time. Oh, and by the way, Mr. Nor, if I were you, I would show up for the ceremony, if you every wish to see your grandchild. I'll be leaving now."

He shoves the blaster away and storms out the door. The door slams closed by the Force. Anakin storms back along the path to his speeder and takes off.

Inside the house Nakai is still holding the blaster. In his other hand is the wedding invitation, His hand shakes violently. He touches his face and collapses into a nearby chair. Ouisanne walks into the room. She has been listening. She takes the wedding announcement out of his hand and opens it. She reaches behind her for her husbands' hand and squeezes it. Nakai is in shock.

The wedding invitation is beautiful. Leia made sure to put the following verbiage at the beginning of the announcement:

Mrs. Ouisanne and Mr. Nakai Nor

request the honor of your presence

at the wedding of their daughter

Isabel Resi Nor

to

Anakin Skywalker

father of

Princess Leia Skywalker

and

Jedi Luke Skywalker

Nakai was in an embarrassing situation should he not attend since this announcement is now public. Leia invited many people from his social and professional circle so he had a choice to make.

Leia also posted the announcement in the Society section of the Coruscant times. Both Isabel and Anakin could have done without this but Leia couldn't resist. She knew when her time came to take her marriage vows, Anakin would do the same. Anakin would be curious to know, however, if the grooms' name could be changed to _'scruffy nerf-herder.'_

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_To be continued… 'Personal Congratulations from the Emperor' _


	54. Chapter 54 Personal Congratulations

_Chapter 54_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Personal Congratulations from the Emperor'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

The wedding invitations are being delivered throughout the galaxy. On Yavin 4 Yoda opens the envelope, drops his gimer stick, clutches his chest, and rests against a wall.

"Oh no, Skywalker marrying again. Too old for this 'Sith' I am."

"Can I go?"

"No, Elmo. To Hollywood with your mother go you must. Annoying stage mother she has become. Hmmm... Wedding and baby shower…hmmm… two gifts for Skywalker to buy I must ….hmmmm. Anakin Skywalker always backward things he does…always in wrong order."

Anakin meets Obi-Wan for lunch. The waiter droid takes their order.

"Would you like anything from the bar, gentlemen?"

Obi-Wan opens his mouth to speak, "I'll have a gin…."

Anakin interrupts. Not just yet, thank you."

"Whenever you're ready then." The droid leaves to turn in their food order.

Anakin smiles at Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan really wanted that drink. Anakin smiles.

"Relax, Master. This won't take long."

"But I wanted a gin and tonic."

"I know. I wanted to catch you before you had a drink."

"Am I going to need one after our chat?"

"No. It's good news."

"I got the invitation. Thank you." He looks around for their waiter.

"Master, I need you to stay with me on this. And then we need to talk about your drinking."

"I'm a social drinker."

"Yeah…right. Listen, master, I have a question to ask you."

"I'm listening, Anakin." Obi-Wan turns to see where their waiter has gone.

"Master, you know I'm getting married soon."

"It had better be soon before the little one makes an appearance."

"I will. Listen. I would be honored if you would be the best man at my wedding."

"Oh, Anakin…I don't know…will there be an open bar?"

"Master!"

"Anakin, relax. I'm just effing with you. Of course I will be the best man at your wedding. I would be honored. Isabel will make a beautiful bride. Thank you for thinking of me."

"You're the closest thing I have to a father."

"Then I've done a bang up job! You're on your second marriage and a new baby on the way and your career choices leave much to be desired. All you need is a trailer home and some cinderblocks."

"Are you making fun of me, master?"

"Yes. Now get that waiter back. I need a gin and tonic forthwith! Bar keep, over here! My _'son'_ is getting married! Free round of drinks for everybody!"

The restaurant patrons applaud. Anakin looks around then buries his face in his hands. He is embarrassed but happy. He isn't even angry with his master for offering a round of drinks for everyone when Obi-Wan wasn't the one paying the tab.

"Thanks, Master, you didn't have to do that. Really."

"Hey, it's your day, Anakin!"

After lunch Anakin drops Obi-Wan off at his new apartment. Anakin thought it was ridiculous for Old Ben to continue living in the limestone hut on Tatooine. He thought Obi-Wan was getting into the hermit mode a bit too much. Obi-Wan was actually happy with his new digs. It afforded him an active social life. The women really dug Obi-Wan. He was turning into a real bon vivant. It was like old times.

Anakin was back in the office. He had enjoyed a wonderful meal and great company but now he almost felt like Isabel on one of her bad days of morning sickness. It was the voice that ruined it for him.

"Anakin, is that you, my son? Come in and talk to me, my boy."

He hated it when Palpatine kept his door open. He has been doing this a lot lately. It wasn't that much fun for him just to feel your presence. He wanted to see you too.

"Good afternoon, Excellency."

"Anakin, I rarely see you anymore. How are you?"

"I'm well, thank you."

"I hear congratulations are in order."

"Thank you, master. I trust you received the wedding invitation."

"Oh, yes. Of course. Isabel is a perfect choice. She will make a beautiful bride. I noticed there was no mention of the little one."

"What?"

"Anakin, there is no shame in announcing the impending birth of the baby."

"We prefer to wait until all the family knows first before making any public announcements."

"Hmmm, yes…The Nor family must have been quite shocked. Their perfect daughter defiled by a man they consider unsuitable. And the Naberrie family must think you are quite the father figure to your teenage children."

"You know, Excellency, if you find my family less than desirable to be around, you are free to refuse to attend the wedding."

"Now, now, Anakin, don't be so sensitive. I shall be thrilled to attend your nuptials. I wouldn't dare miss it. I am only reminding you that not everyone is as forward-thinking as you and I. Sit, Anakin, please."

"No, thank you. I prefer to stand."

"Let's hope your marriage is easier this go round that the pervious one with your dear departed Padmé."

"I made my peace with that. I will always respect the memory of the mother of my two children."

Anakin did make peace with himself concerning Padmé. The night he returned home from Isabel's apartment he stood on the balcony of his bedroom and spoke up to the heavens:

'_I will never forget you, Padmé, but I love her. She's good. You would like her a lot. You will always be in my thoughts when I look into the eyes of our two beautiful children.'_

And now Anakin had to listen to this slippery serpent spew his venom. He wanted to confuse Anakin and try to make him doubt himself. Suddenly he heard a voice. It was hidden deep inside Anakin so Palpatine could not even detect it:

'_Be strong, Anakin. You're better than he is. Don't let him blind you the way he did before. Focus!'_

Anakin smiles and then turns to the Emperor. "Do me a favor. When you speak to me don't ever bring up my family again, living or dead."

The emperor is taken aback as Anakin speaks to him. "Anakin, I was only…"

Anakin points his finger in the Emperor's face. "I'll be watching you."

"Anakin, there's no need to take offense. I was only trying to help."

"Don't help. I can take care of myself."

"I apologize."

"Good. I must be going now...If you'll excuse me, I have work to do."

"Of course."

Anakin leaves. He smiles as he heads for his office. He speaks with the force. _'Thank you, Qui-Gon.'_

**I'm Losing My Edge**

The Emperor felt as if he had bee hit with a plank. He mutters to himself as he scratches his eyebrow.

"I must be losing me edge or the boy is getting help from someone." He presses the com "Hilda? Oh, Hilda…Hilda!!!"

"Hilda sheesa be away from her desk"

"Who is this?"

"Meesa Jar-Jar, your Imperial wudeness!"

"Get in here you moron."

"Meesa smart... not dumb like yousa tink. Meesa can do tings and Meesa want weespeck!"

"Why I ought to fire you! How dare you be so insolent! Wait till I get my hands on you! And Hilda better be back at her desk the next time I call over there. I want to know what's going on around here!"

There is a droid window washing crew at the Emperor's window. He hears the squeaking of the squeegee. He turns and throws a bolt of dark lightning at the glass. The window washing droids and the platform go crashing onto a ship carrying General Veers and Admiral Motti inside the docking bay. Sirens go off all over the building. The Emperor is continuing his tirade over the com link. Suddenly he looks up. Jar-Jar has been standing over his desk for who knows how long. The Emperor hangs up.

"What are you looking at?"

"Yousa looka weely stwessed Emperor of All Evil. Yousa needin' a vacation."

"I think you might be right, Jar Jar you idiot savant. Any suggestions?"

"Look on website. Yousa can take a cawoose on the Dune See, or wok climbing on Tatooine or Tweasure hunting with Tusken Waiders of the Lost Archaeology."

"I'm not the extreme sports kind of guy. I just want to relax. I need to call my therapist first. Perhaps he could help me."

"Well weesa all know yousa megalomaniac crazy Sith. Yousa wastin' Imperial credits visiting a shrink. Yousa be needin' socialization skills."

"What?"

"Weed my lips…Soc..ial...iz...at...ion sk…ills."

"What?"

"A hobby! Yousa evil and def too?"

Jar Jar is asked to sign the emperor up for a six week course in ballooning. It might be calming to float above his home world of Naboo. When he walked into the orientation class and took a seat he was surrounded by a group of ten-year olds and a few adults dressed in clown wigs and orange prison jumpsuits with ankle shackles. The instructor enters the room.

"Good afternoon boys and girls…My Name is Miss Sally and this is my assistant Cheeky Pete. We are going to introduce you to the fun world of making balloon animals…"

_To be continued…'The Wedding Planner'_


	55. Chapter 55 The Wedding Planner

_Chapter 55_

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'_Leia the Wedding Planner & Bridesmaid'_

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Palpatine had a great big balloon headache after attending his first 'Making Balloon Animals' class. The day before, Jar Jar had made a terrible mistake with just one keystroke. It sure felt like a stroke to _the Emperor. _Jar-Jar was supposed to register a class for the old Sith through the 'Mustafar Hot Air Balloon' website.

The Emperor withdrew from the course early and was not able to get a refund on his deposit for books and supplies. He did learn a new skill. He created three banthas from red and green balloons. He brought his handiwork to the office the next day. He paid a visit to his therapist that afternoon. The therapist told him that taking the class was actually a big breakthrough for him and he should be congratulated. He was told that he was destined for bigger things.

_**Weeks later**_

Leia and Isabel go to the Coruscant bridal boutique. Isabel really appreciates her help. She has asked Leia to be her maid of honor. Leia was flattered that she was Isabel's first choice.

Leia remembers being a little girl and fantasizing that Isabel and her father would get married. She always wanted to be a flower girl. She was so disappointed when Isabel left. She cried for a week. She even made drawings of the fantasy ceremony. She stored them on the bookshelf in her bedroom. Today her drawings would begin to come to life.

Leia is trying on the bridesmaid gown she selected. Isabel trusted her judgment and told Leia she could select her own dress. Leia selected a baby blue off the shoulder gown with an empire waist. The matching coat was encrusted with precious stones forming the pattern of the Jedi emblem. The seamstress was trying to keep in pace with Leia who was walking around the salon waiting for Isabel to try on her bridal gown. The other seamstress didn't need to make too many alterations for Isabel. She had not put on any inches around her waist or hips yet.

Leia was looking out the window. Isabel sees her as she pops her head out from her dressing room

"Leia, what are you looking at?"

"Your friend Lara. She's coming for her fitting."

"Oh... I thought she was all set."

"She's almost done. We're the stragglers."

The seamstress is getting frustrated with Leia's constant moving.

"Mistress, Leia, you must remain still while I make these adjustments."

"Take a ten minute break if your sewing fingers hurt. Geez. I take that back. I'm sorry. I'm just a little anxious about something."

The seamstress is accustomed to impatient and jittery brides but never bridesmaids. She smiles and gives Leia a break.

Isabel is still getting her gown pinned for hemming when Leia calls her. Isabel excuses her self from the two attendants working on her dress. She walks out holding the gown up so she doesn't trip. She is surprised by what she sees.

"Mom?"

The mother and daughter embrace. Ouisanne had not seen her daughter in a long time since she was banished from the house. Her mother dries the tears rolling down her daughter's face.

"Careful. You'll stain your dress. Let me look at you again." She stands back and looks at the bride to-be, "You look absolutely beautiful." She lifts her daughters' chin. "You are the most beautiful bride ever."

"Mom, what are you doing here?"

"I came to see you. And the mother of the bride needs a dress too."

"But I thought…"

"He doesn't have to know. Leia was sweet enough to send a note to me at the Bimmisari Tea Society. I wouldn't miss this for the world."

"How are you going to get away and come to the wedding?"

"Don't worry about that. Are you taking care of yourself?"

"Yes. I'm fine. Really"

Lara and Leia chat as Lara tries on her dress. After the fittings the four women go to a local restaurant for a light lunch. Isabel and her mother catch up on events. Ouisanne tells her daughter about Anakin's visit and his encounter with 'Skippy'. The mother and daughter shared a laugh. It was fun. She felt better. At least her mother still recognized her as part of the family. Her mother hands her an envelope before she leaves her daughter.

'What's this?"

"It's your 'dowry'"

"I can't take this."

"It belongs to you. Your father and I set this aside for your wedding day the day you were born. I told him he had to send it to you whether he attends the wedding or not."

"He's not coming is he?"

"I don't think so. I'm sorry."

"If I'm not good enough for him then I'm not good enough to accept his money."

"But it's yours. Take it. Spend it on your wedding or for my grandchild. Don't send it back to us."

That evening Isabel stays at the Skywalker house. She is in the bedroom getting ready for bed. She finally decides to open the envelope. She is shocked to find inside one million credits. She reseals the envelope and writes a note. She leaves it on the dresser for Anakin.

Anakin said he had to work late. When he comes home Isabel was waiting for him in bed. He is exhausted. He doesn't bother turning on the light when he enters the room but he feels her presence. He gets undressed and slips into the bed beside her. Isabel leans over and kisses him on his cheek and whispers to him.

"I heard you had an encounter with a guard dog."

"Maybe. That was weeks ago."

"Were you afraid?"

"I kicked its ass."

"Anakin…"

"I'm joking. How did you know?"

"I had a visit today."

"That was all Leia's doing. Sorry I couldn't do better."

"No, it was wonderful. It was the best surprise you could have given me. We had a nice chat. It's ok. You did more than enough. I love you."

"I love you too. Goodnight."

She is about to go back to sleep when she touches his prosthetic arm. It seems to have some sort of covering on it, like a cast.

"Anakin, what happened? You're wearing a cast."

"It's nothing. Go to sleep. I'm fine."

"Are you telling me the truth?"

"Are you going to keep me awake all night?"

"No."

"I'll tell you about it later. I promise"

"Just tell me you're alright and I'll go back to sleep."

"I'm alright. Happy?"

"Yes."

He senses that she is still worried about him.

"Hey, slide over here close to me. Now go to sleep."

He would eventually tell her everything but not now. Not for awhile.

_To be continued… 'Dad's Night Out'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**


	56. Chapter 56 Dad's Night Out

_Chapter 56_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Dad's Night Out'_

'_Raider's of the Emperor's Suite'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Leia is butting heads with the wedding coordinator. The wrong number of tables was set up in the reception room.

"Princess Leia, the mistake can easily be resolved; it's just that it may take a few hours to rearrange everything in the room."

"Well then do it! This is an important event. I cannot have the Queen of Naboo and Supreme Commander Mon Mothma waiting while you figure out a place for them to sit. This is inexcusable. You had the floor plan. Do I have to walk you though it again?"

"No, Princess. I apologize. We will fix this immediately."

"Then do it. Don't call me unless absolutely necessary."

"Of course. It will be done."

Qui-Gon appears after Leia storms out of the room. He follows her through the garden on the Piazza surrounding the banquet room. The exterior of the banquet facilities is a long alabaster walkway bordered by tall pink marbled columns and small pera trees in terracotta planters. Across the Piazza is a monastery and chapel. The fortress surrounding the holy place is guarded by Republic Guards. The Holy place is self-governing and immune from the laws of the Empire. Obi-Wan found refuge here during a visit from Tatooine. He had sneaked back to Coruscant shortly after Palpatine's rise to power. It was the only place where he could safely conduct secret meetings with surviving members of the Jedi Order.

'_So, Leia, we still have our table, right?'_

"Qui-Gon, I don't have time for this now. Don even start."

'We just want to make sure we have a place to sit.'

"Do you think you're the only important thing in my father's life? You are the most self-centered force ghost in the galaxy. Get a life!'

'_Well, that's going to be sort of a problem since I'm dead.' _

"Listen, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" She slows down and turns to face him. "You're effing with me aren't you?"

Qui-Gon grins.

'_Yeah…Everything will work out, Leia.'_

"So, what you're actually trying to tell me is that I need to lighten up."

'_Yeah…that's it…and make sure our table is set up.'_

"Qui-Gon, you're an effing pain in the ass but I love you. You keep my father grounded. I appreciate that."

'_I've got to keep my eye on him. He has a tendency to veer off the road.'_

"He's lucky to have you around. And don't worry about your table. You'll be well taken care of."

'_Gee, thanks, Leia. Remember us when it's your turn to get married.'_

"I have a feeling you won't let me forget." She smiles and leaves.

_**Raiders Of The Emperor's Suite**_

It is early afternoon. Lando, Han Wedge Biggs and Biggs' cousin Gavin are sitting with Obi-Wan in a corner booth at Dex's Diner.

Biggs scratches his head. "So how are we going to do this? The place is a fortress. There are guards crawling all over the facility."

Obi-Wan smiles. "You leave that part to me."

Lando looks up from his menu. "So where's our secret weapon?"

Han smiles. He sees someone approaching the table. "Here he is right now. Hello, Sport"

Luke sees the full table and slows down. He knows something is up. Biggs grins.

"Perfect timing, Junior."

"What's going on?" He sees Obi-Wan. "Ben? What are you doing here?"

"I need your help, Luke. We need your help."

The group fills Luke in on their secret plan. Luke thinks for a moment. He is doubtful about the outcome. He knows it is something he will soon regret.

"I can't get involved! I've got work to do! It's not that I like the Empire. I hate it! But there's nothing I can do about it right now."

Wedge sighs and scratches his head. "That sounds like his Uncle Owen talking." Wedge mocks Owen's political indifference 'I_ sure can't do anything about the Empire. I've got my moisture farm to tend to. The Empire has nothing to do with me. As long as I get my farm subsidy each quarter, the rest of the galaxy can do whatever they want. Who cares about a bunch of Storm Troopers? They'll never come to Tatooine. '_

Everyone at the table laughs out loud. Luke even chuckles because Wedge is right. Luke feels bad about goofing on his father's stepbrother.

"Alright, that's not fair." He tries not to laugh.

Owen's farm was raided by Imperial Storm troopers. It was rumored there was Felucia Gold growing on the land. It was never found to be true but Owen was subjected to yearly searches by the Tatooine authorities and the Imperial overseers. To add to the matter, teens would knock on his door at all hours of the night trying to score a bag.

Han tries to make Luke relax.

"We're not asking you to do anything about the Empire. Just help us out with this one little task."

The group looks up at Luke who is pondering the ramifications of the "operation"

Luke is realizing what he is getting into. "How am I ever going to explain this?"

Obi-Wan doesn't want to get Luke into anymore hot water. The boy has been grounded more times than the worst delinquent at the Mustafar Reform School for boys. "You must do what you feel is right, of course."

"Look, I can take you as far as the Commissary. You can try to access the control room through the maintenance office to wherever you're going from there."

Han knows Luke is taking a big risk. He promises Luke he will only involve him when needed.

"It's ok, kid. Don't worry about it. We'll figure everything out from there."

**Evening **

Anakin is still at the office. He had to review reports submitted by the crew on the Death Star. Why the Empire was still going ahead with the construction was beyond his comprehension. The cost overruns were ridiculously high. He made a point to speak with the Imperial Chief Finance Officer. The Empire had no real mortal enemies since The Empires' ultimate weapon to ride the Galaxy of mutant alien vermin was the Raid Blaster: 'Guaranteed to kill Yuuzhan Vong and Voxyn Dead!' That's what the Chemical Weapons vendor promised. Boric Acid was also effective. It has the same effect as Kryptonite has on Superman.

Anakin stopped writing. He felt something. A dark presence came over him.

"Lando, Biggs, what are you doing here…."

Meanwhile Luke was stopped on his way pass the commissary. It was still open but sparsely populated with night shift workers and the IT guys. As he steps out into the hallway he is stopped by a group of Storm troopers.

"It's after hours. Identification please."

"I'm Luke Skywalker; I've come to rescue you."

"What?"

"I can get you this." He shows them a holograph. The troopers are mesmerized. They ogle over the holograph as Gavin, Han Wedge and the others slip pass them. Wedge has just finished turning the security cameras to loop the images just before they arrived.

Gavin turns to Han. "What did he show them?"

"A holograph of some dude's mom in a rocking chair. Believe me; you really don't want to see this pic"

"Oh. Cool."

Luke gives the group some information before leaving them.

They make it up to the roof. Han and Obi-Wan leave the group and make their way to the Imperial residence. They are accompanied by a small cloaked figure. They are whispering. Obi-Wan speaks to the cloaked figure.

"Remember the way out? Luke has a contact waiting for you when you're done. Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I would do anything for you, Benji" Aura kisses Obi-Wan and the hood slips off her head. Han rolls his eyes and looks away. He puts a finger down his throat and pretends he is about to hurl. The very sight of the old man and the young Twi'lek chick, in a passionate lip-lock, is too much for him to take.

"Hey, Father Time, get your groove-on later. We've got to help Lando and Biggs with Prince Charming downstairs."

Obi-Wan ignores Han.

"Honey, you're the Greatest."

"I'll see you later, you beautiful Jedi man machine."

Han covers his ears and closes his eyes as the couple exchange 'love-chat' _'YUCK! Make it stop.'_

"Hey! Let's go! Lap dance girl, move it."

Aura disappears behind a door. Han Grabs Obi-Wan and hurries out of the Imperial Residence.

In Anakin's office Biggs, Lando and Anakin are sitting around. Anakin has overpowered the two men. The burlap sack they had tried to cover his head is flopped over the top of his head like a 'Cat-In the Hat' hat. Anakin is in his chair. Lando is sitting in the Meditation Chamber. Biggs is on the sofa playing with the Ewok toy. They are all smoking Felucia Gold. Anakin giggles.

"So you two were sent in to kidnap me?"

Lando laughs. "Yep. You're one tough Sith." He looks around the chamber. "You know, Anakin, this chamber would make a cool place to bring the ladies."

"Done it."

Lando thinks about this and immediately leaps out of the chamber.

"So, are you going to go peacefully with us?"

"I'm still being kidnapped?"

Biggs waves his hand at Anakin. "Mr. "V", kidnap is such a nasty word. We prefer to call it…"

"You're kidnapping me."

"You make it sound so ugly"

Lando stops smoking and extinguishes the 'cigarette' "Anakin, we have to get moving, fella. Let's go."

"Ok, General, I'll play along. Shall I place my arms behind my head?"

"No. Just leave with us."

"Okay."

Anakin gets up. Lando notices the smurf-blue rubber glove over his right hand

"What's with the rubber glove? You on janitorial duty?"

"Now was that necessary? You hurt my feelings." Anakin is giggling.

"You're high."

"I'm intoxicating."

"Anakin, you're crazy. Let's go."

"Ok, Lando."

Anakin is still smoking. He places his hands behind his head as if he is under arrest. They leave the office.

The group meets up with Han, Obi-Wan and the others. They take Anakin to the roof of the building. Anakin looks over the side of the building.

"You know, I can jump this."

Han walks over.

"Somebody grab him before he hurts himself." He sees how high up they are. His face turns white. He sits. I hate high places. I hate snakes more but I really hate high places."

Anakin is standing on the edge. "It's cool, Han. Don't be scared. It's like fly..fly-ing…whoops!"

Everyone on the roof is in shock as Anakin disappears over the side of the building. Biggs is coming down off his Felucia high. He is screaming hysterically. "We're all going to die!"

Lando stares at him. You're still near the door, Biggs.

"Oh. I knew that."

Suddenly they hear a soft humming sound. They watch the edge of the building. Something is coming up. Han scrambles backwards on his behind. Suddenly they see Anakin rising to the top. Biggs points.

"He's an angel!"

Lando rolls his eyes then looks over at Anakin. He is on the window washers' platform. "Anakin, old buddy. What are you doing?"

Anakin yells over to everyone on the roof. "Guys, this is so cool! You can see everything. It's like an amusement park ride! Come on. Take a ride with me. "

Han recovers. Anakin grabs him and pulls him into the gondola. There is some white window sealer in a pail. Wedge and Gavin joins him. Anakin presses a button and the gondola starts moving downward.

"All aboard! Next stop….The Executive suite!"

Obi-Wan looks over the side and watches them make their descent..

"I hate it when he does that."

Anakin stops the gondola. He rips off the lid to the window sealer and dips a paintbrush into the container. He starts writing."

Morning

The sun shines through the bedroom window.

"Good morning"

"Good morning, beautiful."

"Did you have fun last night?"

"Yeah. We were on a gondola and then we went out to celebrate. The guys took me out drinking. "

"I know. I smelled it on you."

"Miss me?"

"Anakin, you are incorrigible. What am I going to do with you?"

"You still have to marry me. Oh, Bel, Bel, Bel." Anakin is snoring. He has fallen asleep with his head buried in her chest. He had just arrived home at six in the morning.

Meanwhile. Across town, Palpatine tries to explain the woman in his bed. Aura puts on her clothes and slips out while Sly and the Emperor argue.

"But, I don't remember bringing her to my room, my blueberry muffin! Please believe me!"

"I'm going to kill you, you miserable old man!"

"But I thought it was you!"

"Liar!"

The Imperial Royal Guards are standing outside the door.

'They are really into that S& M stuff! This has been going on all night. The Old guy better take it easy.

Aura is escorted to a private exit. She kisses her escort on the cheek. Thanks!

"Okeday, Misses Sexy!"

The passing traffic is at a standstill. The reflection of what Anakin had written can be read on the other buildings:

'THE EMPEROR IS A SITH HEAD!'

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_To be continued… 'The Rehearsal ' _

**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**


	57. Chapter 57 The Rehearsal

Chapter 57

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_The Rehearsal '_

'_If You Can't Teach an Old Dog…What about…'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

The Emperor was going to be late this morning. He had to see his therapist. So much was going on, he couldn't explain it.

The therapist knew it was going to be a long morning. He cancelled his next four sessions.

"So, your Excellency, is there anything different about your relationship that may have caused these problems to erupt?"

"I don't know what it is. I'm a good man. I pay my country club dues. I even hire little Jawas to walk on my back. Someone is turning my beautiful boy against me. Someone is out to get me. Everyone is so jealous of me.

He therapist is making notes:

'_Compulsive liar'_

'_Find out about this boy he keeps referring to. This child could be in grave danger'_

'_Thinks little people are coming after him'_

'_Feels sense of entitlement'_

'_Tax evader'_

'_Cheats on partner'_

'_Chronic womanizer'_

'_Cries for no apparent reason'_

'_Dresses in bizarre attire. Believes himself to be 'King of All Meanness'_

_Recommendations: Place on intergalactic 'watch list'_

Across town, Anakin and Isabel face some harsh realities.

Anakin drives Isabel to her parents' home. They sit in the speeder for several minutes. He squeezes her hand.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go in there with you? I swear, if he makes you cry…"

"No. I have to do this myself. I have to know where I stand."

"I don't like this at all. He's arrogant and unforgiving." He starts to get out of the speeder.

"My mother said I should try." Isabel gives him a stern look." Stay in the car."

"Well, you know where I stand. Beside you." He kisses her. "Call me if he does anything."

Isabel starts walking towards the house. Anakin is anxiously waiting. He turns on some music but then realizes it may become distracting if Isabel needs him. He switches it off. He nervously taps on the dashboard and whistles. There is a soft breeze blowing through the trees. He looks around but returns his focus on the house every few minutes. Anakin is growing impatient. He turns on the radio again. A foreign language song from another galaxy is playing:_ "Papa don't preach…" _Anakin quickly changes the station. He scratches his head.

A few minutes more. "What is going on in there?" Suddenly he sits up. There is a strange presence. He hears something scurrying about. Something is circling his vehicle.

Anakin is waiting outside. He hurls something in the air. A few moments later the object he had tossed is returned to him. A red ball is dropped in the rear passenger seat. Anakin gets out of the speeder and walks around to the passengers' side. He grabs the ball from the seat and looks down at Skippy. Skippy leaps into Anakin's arms.

"You're not so big and bad. Are these your real tags? '_Attack Unit'_ my eye. You little titanium hunk of junk. You don't scare me."

The two play on the ground. Isabel's other brother Pascal drives up in his speeder. He recognizes Anakin but the two never exchange words. Skippy changes into 'attack' mode and pretends to bite at Anakin's throat. Anakin pretends to scream in agony. Pascal seems to be satisfied that the K-9 unit is doing its' job so he goes inside the house. The 'attack' ends. Skippy waits for the door to close then licks Anakin's face. Anakin resumes the game of 'fetch'. After throwing the ball, the K-9 unit doesn't come back. He looks up the driveway. Nothing. He returns to his car puzzled. Suddenly he grins and turns.

"There you are you little mu…aghhhh!"

Anakin backs away in a panic bumping into his speeder. The menacing creature lunges for Anakin's throat. Anakin leaps backward onto the trunk of the speeder. He manages to stand as he tries to fend off the 'Devil-Dog' The rabid growling has the fearless Dark lord fumbling for his lightsaber.

New dog: HK-66 _'Daddy's Lil' Hellraiser'_

K-9 Attack Droid Unit model 666

"Alright, enough of this _'sith'_! Nakai Nor won't get rid of me that easily!" Anakin finally takes control. He uses the Force to hurl the critter into the air. He grabs it, crumpling the titanium armor. Suddenly the creature yelps and limps back towards the house. It's damaged rump clanking and rattling as it hobbles its way through the droid doggy door.

Suddenly Skippy reappears from under Anakin's speeder. He barks at the injured canine fighting machine as if to say, '…and don't come back!' Skippy looks up at Anakin and wags its tail. Anakin laughs and praises him.

"Good dog! Go get, 'em, boy! We got him, Skip! "

While Anakin is beating up titanium droid attack dogs, inside the house something different is happening.

Isabel is standing in the living room. Her mother wants her to sit down. Isabel refuses. She looks at the family holographs scattered around the room. She hears a voice.

"Why is he here?" Nakai Nor sees Anakin from the window as he walks into the room.

These are the first words she has heard him utter since he first made his feelings known months before.

"He didn't want me to drive. How are you?"

"Does it matter to you? You broke our hearts when you did this. You broke up this family."

"That wasn't my intention. Why are you doing this? Why can't you accept us?"

"So, you're still going through with this? I warned you. He'll bring you nothing but misery and grief. I thought you came home to apologize and stop this insanity."

A few minutes later Isabel storms out of the house. Anakin brushes himself off and reaches for her. He starts towards the house when he sees her face. Isabel pulls him back. She is crying hysterically. He holds her.

"No! Anakin, please, take me home. Just take me home." They get inside the speeder and drive away.

**EVENING**

It is a quiet night in Coruscant University Hospital. Leia sees them first. She sits in the hall. Anakin is sitting also holding her hand to his chest. Isabel's parents approach them. He is fuming.

"You can't see her!"

"Dad, take it easy." She looks up at Mr. and Mrs. Nor. "Please excuse my father. This has not been a good day for him."

Ouisanne speaks. She is civil but she speaks firmly. "Leia, all we want to do is to see our daughter. She needs to know her family is here."

Leia sees her father's reaction. She answers Ouisanne. "She's sleeping now."

Anakin speaks through clenched teeth. "We're her family."

"Daddy, promise me you'll stay put for a few minutes. Please? Promise me." She stands and leads Isabel's parents to her hospital room. Two medical droids and a human doctor speak to them for a moment. Isabel's parents see the first images of their grandchild. Mr. Nor listens to the rapid flutter of a tiny heartbeat. He leaves the room. He looks straight ahead and leaves the hospital floor. Anakin walks inside the room. He is very quiet when he asks Mrs. Nor to leave. Luke has just arrived. He was away at his Jedi Trials and returned home as soon as he got the call from Leia. Anakin's children stayed with him the entire night.

Isabel returns home after a few days. Anakin drafts her resignation and arranges for it to be delivered to her superiors at the University. Lara was not surprised. She did leave the door open should Isabel wish to return sometime in the future but she knew this would probably be the end. The stress over that past few months had taken its toll. When she collapsed In Anakin's arms, he felt the galaxy crashing down on him. No again. Not this time. Why was he being punished? Lara had to talk him down. He was inconsolable.

Two weeks have passed. Lara was pleased that her friend and protégé was feeling better. She still had a wedding rehearsal to attend.

Isabel had asked General Rieekan if he would give her away on her wedding day. The general was honored and accepted enthusiastically. He did hope that her father would have a change of heart but this did not come at rehearsal time.

Rehearsing a New Life

The wedding rehearsal was actually amusing. Bridesmaids Lara, Leia and Mara all remembered their places. The men were distracted and joking at inappropriate moments old friend and Jedi Master Nejaa Halcyon seemed to be the only one to take this rehearsal seriously along with Anakin. But Anakin finally joined in on the fun where, at the end of the ceremony, he is to take Isabel's hand, he decides to swing her around and dip her low to the alter floor. Isabel is embarrassed.

A novice priest presiding over the rehearsal cannot seem to get control of the wedding party. Obi-Wan is sneaking sips of whisky from a flask hidden under his robe. The flask was a birthday gift from the twins (A big mistake!).

The young priest tries to get everyone's attention. "Gentlemen, please! We need to finish this rehearsal before the monks arrive for vespers. Could someone gather the children for the processional?

Isabel's mother has convinced her sons to permit their children to take part in the wedding. Mr. Nor has been banished to the guestroom for his behaviour towards Isabel. It has been three weeks. Ouisanne has stopped speaking to her husband.

Obi-Wan quips, "Vespers, wespers, who gives a flying…"

Leia yells at him. "Obi-Wan!"

The novice priest makes another attempt to resume the rehearsal.

"Anakin will you take Isabel to be your lawful wife, will you love her, honor and keep her in sickness and in health and forsaking all others keep only unto her so long as you both shall live?"

"I will, but her resistance to the mind probe is considerable. It will be some time before we can extract any information from her. Hey, woman, you want to shack up with this Sith of burning love?"

Isabel blushes. "I can't work with this."

"I couldn't stop myself. I'm sorry. I'll be serious now." He tries to hold in a laugh but fails.

Obi-Wan jumps in with a comment, "He still has much to learn. Forgive him, Padre. Anakin, this is no time for jokes. We're in serious trouble here."

"Why is that, Master?"

"I'm out of whisky. I hate being up here in front of all these people when I'm sober."

Luke shrugs at this spectacle and blushes. He tries to get his father to stop joking.

"Father."

Anakin has the giggles. He is able to do the Darth Vader voice without the 'Mask'

"Luke. Son, come with me."

"What?"

"Come join me up here and I will complete this boring rehearsal. It is useless to resist. Don't let yourself be destroyed as Obi-Wan did. The drunken old fool!

Luke is moaning, "Ben, why didn't you tell me?"

"I did tell you. You're supposed to be up at the altar with you father and me as a witness to this crazy wedding. Anakin, I must take offense to your insult. I am no fool. I'm drunk as a skunk but I am no fool."

"Dad, I'll never join you! You're behaving like a 12 year old with the jokes."

"Luke...it is your destiny. Don't you want a hot step-mother?"

"Isabel's starting to get fed up with you, Dad."

"Yeah, she is starting to look a little pissed. Bel, I'm sorry, Honey. I'll behave. Are you mad at me?"

He looks in her eyes and sees she is no longer laughing. He clears his throat and turns to the young priest. He apologizes and continues with the rehearsal. It's getting late anyway and he is starving. The rehearsal dinner is in two hours. And Obi-Wan needed to refill his flask. Anakin takes Isabel's hands in his.

"I'm sorry, friar, what's my next line?"

"You recite your vows."

"Oh, yeah."

To be continued…'The Rehearsal Dinner and Practice Speeches.'

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	58. Chapter 58 The Rehearsal Dinner

_Chapter 58_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_The Wedding Rehearsal Dinner'_

'_Comments from the Cheap Seats'_

'_Tears and Jeers'_

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The rehearsal takes twenty minutes longer than expected because of all the Sith –Jedi high jinks. Isabel is unusually moody. She is not pleased with Anakin's behavior in the chapel earlier. They are preparing to leave the chapel when she takes him aside. They are in the meditation gardens of the monastery.

"Anakin, may I speak to you for a minute?"

"Of course. What is it?"

"That's what I want to know too."

"What do you mean?

"Anakin, are you getting cold feet?"

"No. I'm wearing those thermal socks you bought for me at Hoth Ski Shop." He grabs her and touches her belly. He tries to kiss her. She backs away

"I'm serious, Anakin. Do you want to go through with this wedding or not? Tell me so I can tell everyone not to bother and I can return our wedding gifts."

"What? I love that margarita machine! Bel, relax."

"Relax?" How can I relax when you're behaving like an adolescent in a sacred place? Marriage is a big commitment, Anakin, and you're mocking it."

"I am not mocking it. I was just having a little fun, that's all."

He grabs her again.

"Anakin, not here. Someone will see us."

"Yes, here! I'm tired of all this deception. I don't care if they know we're expecting a child. You're not showing yet anyway. Just barely."

"I'm not ready for everyone to know just yet."

"People can still count, Isabel. It doesn't matter anymore. In six months I'm going to be a father again."

"I still have my family to think about. It would be embarrassing for them..."

Now Anakin is angry. He was being playful before but now he is one pissed Sith.

"What? Since when are you worried about what your father thinks? He's disowned you. He despises me. He didn't even bother to show up at the rehearsal today. If he cared about you as much as he cared about his reputation, he wouldn't be torturing you the way he has. Think about yourself for a change. Think about our child. I've never been as happy as I am at this moment. This baby is a blessing, not a problem. It's a second chance for me. For us. Ten years we have been in-love with one another and never admitted it. Let's not do this. I don't want to lose you. I don't want to lose our baby."

Anakin looks around to make sure they are alone.

"Isabel, sit down. I want to show you something. I was going to wait but I think you need to see this now."

They sit on a marble bench in the meditation gardens of the monastery. The monks are filing into the chapel for vespers. The Force ghosts file in line after them. One monk actually sees them. He had been reprimanded by Brother Thomas Festus for claiming he has seen 'visions'. Brother Thomas doubted the poor monk who continually claims to see "Dead people." Qui-Gon and Mace hold their fingers to their lips when Brother Cole 'Seesagostus' notices them.

Mace and Qui-Gon needed to kill time until the rehearsal dinner. Besides, they needed a few laughs. Meanwhile, Obi-Wan found some wine downstairs to fill his flask. One of the winemaking monks was running late for vespers when he ran into the hooded figure standing I front of one of the wine casks.

The poor monk is stuttering in fear but also looks upon the figure with a sense of curiosity. He had seen the Jedi visions as well.

"Are…Are…you a spirit? Are you dead?"

Obi-Wan turn and lowers the hood to his brown cloak. "Oh, I'm not dead ...not yet. You, my friend, need to stop drinking the monastery's' profits."

Anakin and Isabel are alone. She is resting her head on his shoulders. He whispers to her.

"Do you feel better now?"

"You didn't have to do this. But I understand."

"Let's get out of here, I'm starving."

Rehearsal Dinner: Early Evening 

The guests file into the private dining room of the best Corellian restaurants on Coruscant. Han suggested it to Leia and she concurred. The cuisine was exquisite._ Ristorante Don Faytonni's_ is owned by the cousin of Lieutenant Danni Faytonni, Guido 'The 'Scampi' Faytonni, a self-made businessman who was in the 'olive oil business. 'He also is the owner of a smaller family-style establishment called, Gani's Sleeping Fishes. It was the scene of an infamous assassination attempt on the Emperor. There were rumors that the attack had been orchestrated by Count Dooku some years ago. No one is talking. No one.

This semi-formal event is covered by the media. The Reigning Queen of Naboo is present with her twelve year old husband, Prince Timmy. Former Chancellor Finis Valorum his wife and other dignitaries are there as well to celebrate the engaged couple.

The Emperor arrives with his blue date Sly Moore. Anakin wasn't too crazy about this but he decided to let it slide. Anakin was glad that Leia made sure the Emperor's table was as far away as possible. He promised Isabel there would be no anger, leading to fighting, which would lead to the Dark Side.

What did shock him was the appearance of Nakai Nor, Isabel's dad. Mrs. Nor must have given Isabel's old man an ultimatum, and set a fire under him. He still looked miserable. But at least he was there. It's a start. Unfortunately, Nakai is seated at his table beside Beru Lars. Owen sits beside Mrs. Nor. He was probably griping to her about how expensive the place was and that Anakin spent too much money that could be better used on that unprofitable moisture farm of his back on Tatooine. Mace commented on several occasions that Owen was a low-expectation sorry excuse for a farmer.

Obi-Wan is seated at the end of the table closes to the sommelier. He wants his glass refilled quickly.

Isabel looks beautiful in a champagne-colored silk cocktail dress with read roses embroidered into the fabric. The one-meter matching train made the elegant dress look regal. The empire-waist skirt and open pleat concealed what was underneath. The guests could only imagine what the bridal gown was like. Leia wore a dark blue silk dress with a low back and a matching wrap. Her hair was adorned with a diamond headband. Anakin would have preferred seeing his daughter in something more conservative. Han had his _'scruffy nerf-herder rushing hands and roaming fingers' _all over her back.

Luke looks like a budding Jedi knight. Graduation only weeks away. His black military dinner jacket made him look like a grown up and not the teenage Jedi his father saw just hours earlier during rehearsal. Mara was his date that night. She wore an aubergine cocktail dress with spaghetti straps. The color set off her flaming red hair and peridot eyes. Luke had never seen her in a dress. He couldn't believe she actually went a day without wearing something made of tight black gundark leather.

And then there was Anakin. He surprised everyone with his white diamond-patterned woven dress shirt under a formal black waist coat that resembled his leather tunic. Leia enjoyed seeing her father wearing a light colored shirt for a change.

The Force Ghosts were also invited to the soiree. They were seated at a table on a platform off to the side. It resembled a dais used for a roast. And 'roast' is what these ghosts did best.

Ki-Adi-Mundi was studying Aura's attire. She looks like a genie. The sheer pink chiffon left nothing to the imagination. The male guests at the event were tripping their way to their tables. '_Things_ were busting out' all over. Leia made of point of suggesting to Obi-Wan that he supervise what she wore to the wedding. She then thought better of this and decided it was time to take Aura shopping. Aura would wear the dress that Leia got for her on the day of the wedding. Today, Leia would have to let this outfit slide.

Mace waves his hand in front of Ki-Adi-Mundi's face.

"_Hey, Picklehead, snap out of it."_

"_But she's almost naked."_

Qui-Gon shouts,_ 'There's some hoe's in this house! Ha-Ha!' Obi-Wan loves his little stripper chick. Aayla, you're Twi'lek, how come you don't wear some hot outfits like Aura?'_

'_Qui-Gon, could you do me a favor?'_

'_Help you undress?'_

'_No. Don't speak to me for the next two days.'_

'_Why are you chicks so sensitive?'_

'_First of all, I'm not a chick!'_

Qui-Gon backs away,_ 'What? You're a man?'_

'_No, you pot head hippy! Mace, get him away from me before I get angry.'_

Mace talks to Qui-Gon.

'_Qui-Gon, could you please say something without offending people?'_

'_Aayla, you have nice…nice…eyes.'_

'_Now that's better. Was that so difficult?'_

'_I guess not. Nice eyes…round like your Hooters! Hahahahhahahaha'_

'_Mace, if he weren't already dead…'_

'_Ignore him. He's just trying to get a charge out of you.'_

Qui-Gon playfully tries to kiss her.

'_I can give you a charge, honey.'_

Aayla is annoyed.

'_Shut up!' _She turns away from him. _He is so obnoxious!'_

'_Mace, I think she likes me. She wants me, I know it.'_

Meanwhile below, where the 'living' dwell, Nakai sulks in his seat as he suffers through the speeches. Mrs. Nor stares at him as he twists the napkin on his lap. He does not wish to be here.

Obi-Wan stands and gives a speech.

"_One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love_. It's what Anakin and Isabel have had for a long time but never spoke about. Finally, during an a magical family gathering months ago , these two beautiful children admitted what they had denied themselves so many years ago. I call them children because, one, I had none of my own but I was both father figure and friend to Anakin since he was just a boy of nine years. We got along like brothers. We fought like father and son. It wasn't always pretty. Our children can be stubborn and filled with angst and fear. Through it all I still love him. Isabel, you came into his life when he sorely needed an advocate. You worked so hard for him. Yes, you were fresh out of university and you taught a stubborn young widowed father gentleness and patience. To be so young and fearless to speak your mind you broke through a once tortured soul and finally captured his heart. Isabel, you are the daughter I never had. You are the wife Anakin needs. He is truly a saved man. I love you both. Cheers!" He sips his champagne. "This is some good stuff! Leia, you can sure pick a good bottle of bubbly." He grabs a bottle from the table and places it next to his place setting.

There is applause throughout the room. Anakin smiles and raises his glass to his dear old friend.

Mrs. Nor keeps giving her husband the evil eye. Nakai can't take it anymore. He stares at her then releases his napkin. It is now in a big knot, much like the big-ass knot in his stomach right at this moment. He has to will himself to stand. He thinks to himself, _'Let me get this over with so Quisanne will stop eyeing me like an angry nexu.' _ He felt hundreds of eyes on him.

Finally he manages to stand before his wife set a shaak cattle prod to his sorry ass. He clears his throat and uses all his strength to hold up his champagne flute. Anakin is thinking, 'Holy sith, what's this man going to say?' _('If anyone wishes to kill my future son –in-law, please feel free to do it now.')_

The Force Ghosts sit anticipating something profound or perhaps he would simply belt Anakin in the mouth setting off a fight. Palpatine would have loved to see this.

"Uh…I'm a man of few words."

Qui-Gon makes a remark. The only ones who can hear him are the other Jedi in the room, and Isabel.

Qui-Gon cannot resist:

'_The evil rat bastard violated my precious daughter!'_

Luke buries his head in his hands and starts to giggle. It's not so much what Qui-Gon says but how. He made a sound like a wailing Tatooine peasant woman._ 'Waaahahhaaaahhh boohoohooo!'_

Leia covers her mouth with her napkin. She giggles then Force-speaks to Qui-Gon 'Shut it or leave!'

Finally Nakai utters something to the effect of:

"Ahhm…You fathers in the room will understand. You have a little girl. She looks up to you. You're her oracle…"

Qui-Gon answers,_ 'A what? Oral?'_

Ki-Adi-Mundi interrupts to play 'interpreter', _'I think he's referring to Obi-Wan's date.'_

Qui-Gon flicks him in the head._ 'Shut up!'_

Nakai continues. …"You're her hero. And then the day comes when she gets her first prom dress and goes to her first party, and from that day on, you're in a constant state of panic. The last thing you'd expect is for her to fall in-love with a Sith Lord. My life sucks. Cheers. crap!"

'Your speech sure sucks! BOOOOOOO!' All the Force Ghosts toss the paper programs and party favors towards the table where Nakai is sitting. Leia is laughing uncontrollably. Anakin looks over to her as does Han. Han pats her on the back. Mara is looking down at her program. She tries not to look at Luke whose face is red from laughing. The guests are being showered with flying paper and sugared almonds.

Nakai takes his seat. His wife kicks him under the table.

Yoda laughs out loud. "Effing funny this speech is. I sense many more funny moments from him."

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_To be continued…'More from the files of the Rehearsal Dinner'_

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_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy**_

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	59. Chapter 59More from the Wedding Rehearsa

_Chapter 59_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_More from The Wedding Rehearsal Dinner'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

The droids have been watching as the dinner continues. Everyone waits as Anakin stands to say a few words. He is happy but nervous. He is never like this at work. Why now? He blushes as Leia does a very un-lady-like finger whistle.

"Come on, Dad! You can do it! Speech! "

Luke joins in. "Speech! I know there is a speech in you, I can feel it. You've got to do it now, you're standing already."

Anakin points to his children as he looks out at the tables filled with family and friends. "See what I have to put up with? They taunt me. I have planned to do a speech tomorrow but I suppose I can give everyone a sneak preview of what I intend to say. First, I want to thank you all for coming this evening. This is really nice. I honestly didn't expect to see so many people. Isabel and I have been blessed so much this year." He looks down at her with a knowing twinkle in his eyes. He turns to address the guests.

"It's going to be lots of fun in the coming months. Luke and Leia, you have made me very proud. I want to thank you for doing all of this. Will every one give them a hand? They put this party together. I could never have done it as I am inept when it comes to arranging social events. I need to thank them for supporting me and kicking my ass when it needed kicking. I know I can be a handful at times. Obi-wan, you're a great friend. Thanks for the kind words."

Qui-Gon speaks so Anakin can hear him._ 'I didn't hear him recognize us. Hey, Ani, how about a 'shout out' to your dearly departed homeys? What an effing ungrateful…'_

Anakin continues. "And I was going to impart a special dedication speech to all my dear friends, fellow Jedi who have passed on and became one with the Force. They can be a noisy bunch. Heaven will never be the same now that they have moved on…or NOT. They are with me everyday…and everywhere. I have not forgotten you. You won't let me. But tonight, before I forget and wind up at the altar alone, I want to thank the person who has agreed to put up with my occasional whining. I know I can be self-absorbed at times but I think it's wonderful to be scolded by you." He looks over at Isabel. She smiles sweetly. "You keep me in line. Isabel, I love you. I can't wait until you become my wife. Geez, I never intended to speak this long. To you, Isabel."

Han, the twins and all of the friends drum the table with their hands. The guests raise their glasses to honor Isabel. She blushes. Luke shouts out.

"Speech!"

Isabel stands. She was trying to keep a low profile to avoid having to say anything. Lara's husband Blaise stands and takes Isabel by the hand. She blushes as everyone gives her a standing ovation. Palpatine blows her a kiss. Sly glares down at him. He knows his ass is grass when they get home.

Isabel takes a deep breath.

"Thank you. That was a lovely speech, Sweetie. I can't top that. Well, All I can say is thank you for coming to celebrate with us tonight. Wow. Tomorrow I'm going to be married. This is a surreal moment. I would like to thank my parents and other family members for being here tonight. Your presence here tonight has not gone unnoticed..."

Mace quips, _'You effing got that right.'_

Isabel continues.

"….Nor has it gone unappreciated. I have been lucky growing up in a family that held education and tolerance of others in high esteem. I have been able to share my good fortune and the things that I have learned to help others. Dad, thanks for teaching me archery when I was seven years old. I thought it was boring and not particularly kind to my fingers, but I finally have a hobby that I'm better at than my fiancé. Thank you, Luke and Leia, for the warm welcome you gave me when I first met you. I was very young and fresh out of grad school. I had absolutely no idea what I was getting into. Taking care of six year old twins of a former Jedi was not easy. It was truly an education. I can't believe you have turned eighteen this year. You are heading into adulthood with so much to offer the galaxy. You two amaze me every day. Obi-Wan, you are so gentle and kind. You can make me laugh at times when I so desperately want to cry. Han, you are a great person to talk to. I hope you bring your sabacc cards one evening. I am getting quite good at it and I actually believe I can kick your ass in a game or two.

I wish to thank two of the most efficient and humorous droids I have ever met. Artoo, you unlocked many a door when the twins thought of playing their tricks on me. C3PO, where would I be without someone to translate wookie for me when Chewbacca would visit with Han?

Thank you. Thank you Lara and General Rieekan for being my support group when I was in that dark place in my life. I also wish to thank the little voices in my head for helping through the days when I needed guidance. I don't know who or what you are, but I feel so much better knowing you."

Qui-Gon, _'See? She knows how to thank someone.'_

All of the Jedi Force Ghosts cheer in unison,_ 'You're welcome, honey!'_

Aayla shouts down to her cheerfully, _'You go girl!'_

She hears the voices. Her eyes dart around the room. She speaks again.

"And, finally, Anakin. You have become my new best friend. Thank you for being around to catch me when I have fallen. I love you."

The droids cheer as the guests applaud. "Mistress Isabel remembered us, Artoo. She remembered us!"

R2D2 chirps happily the answers Threepio. "She remembers me being more useful to her. How useful is that dumb wookie gurgling? She gave you a pity compliment because she felt sorry for you."

"Well! I can see someone is jealous. You rusty little toolbox." He kicks Artoo. Artoo taunts Threepio. The Protocol droid is curious. "What do you mean you know something I don't know? The master erased my memory? Again? Why? What information did he erase? Tell me, Artoo. I'm your friend."

The astromech droid chuckles. He doesn't let on that Anakin removed a data chip that held information about baby Skywalker lest the protocol droid slip up and dispense too much information to the wrong people. Anakin would restore the chip eventually because he will need Threepio's help later on.

Music begins to play. Anakin takes Isabel around the room to mingle with the guests. In an alcove, Mrs. Nor chews out her husband for his horrible excuse of a speech. Isabel's brothers begrudgingly greet Anakin. They know they had better step up to the plate because Isabel was prepared to snub them if they disrespected her fiancé.

"Nice speech, Anakin."

"Thank you, Phillippe. I hope your family is having a nice time."

"They are. Maybe you could go canoeing with us sometime on Endor"

"Oh. Thank you. I might take you up on that offer when I have time."

"Sorry about releasing the dog on you that day."

"Apology accepted."

"I was afraid you'd be mad as hell and try to choke me or something."

Anakin just smiles and raises his eyebrows. He had seriously considered doing this but he did not want to upset Isabel. What a guy!

Stefan shakes hands with Anakin but just lets out a grunt. He is more like his father. He can't seem to utter anything nice or else he would become apoplectic. It was enough he was getting a throbbing sensation in his temples. It was hard being nice when he wanted to punch Anakin's lights out.

Anakin is pulled aside by Blaise. Just as this happens someone grabs Isabel by the hand.

"Isabel, you look absolutely ravishing tonight. How are you my dear?"

Isabel nervously looks around for Anakin. Palpatine has a firm grip on her.

"I'm fine. Thank you, your Excellency."

"Good. Good. You look well. You have done something wonderful for the Empire, my dear."

"I have? I don't understand."

He whispers in her ear.

"You have given us new life."

She tries to back away. His smile is sinister. Suddenly another hand grabs the Emperor's wrist.

"Esqueeze me!

"Not now, Jar Jar! Why aren't you waiting in the cruiser as I instructed?"

"But missa…" He tries to point to the door but the Emperor waves him away.

A tuxedoed servant droid passes by with a tray of Corellian champagne in fancy spiral-shaped flutes. Isabel politely declines. The Emperor smiles with approval.

"Shall I call the servant to get you something more suitable to drink, child?"

"Thank you, no." Isabel is afraid right now. The reason no one has come over to her rescue yet is because of the red cloaked Imperial body guards. They surround the Emperor and Isabel.

Jar Jar grabs a champagne flute and gulps down the champagne. He burps. "Oopsa! Hehehe. Thisa firewater tickle Jar Jar's nose!" He sees Sly Moore from across the room. He taps the Emperor again.

Palpatine turns and speaks to Jar Jar through clenched teeth.

"Not now, Jar Jar"

"But yoosa been summoned by missy Sly, Your Imperial creepiness. Sheesa bombastic mad as a Nexu ifa yoosa not come quick!"

Suddenly the emperor is whacked on the head by a hard object. He turns to scream at the Gungan but Jar Jar is too busy grabbing hors d'Oeuvres and stuffs them in his cheek pouches.

Yoda stands on a tall fountain set near the middle wall where Isabel and Palpatine are talking. He Uses the Force to throw two Red Guards against the wall, knocking them unconscious. People move out of the way. Former Chancellor Valorum helps Isabel get out of the way. Palpatine is surprised. He thought it was Jar Jar being a nuisance again.

"Master Yoda, you survived."

"Surprised?"

"Your arrogance blinds you, Master Yoda. Now you will experience the full power of the dark side."

"Why? Fight in the garden under the moonlight you want? I'll kick your wrinkled butt. At an end your visit not short enough it was, I must say. Better to your girlfriend you should go. She waits at the door for you. She will punish you more than I can ever do to you. Hmmm."

"We are not finished, Master Yoda,"

"Shut up, you old Sith!" He whacks the emperor again with his gimer stick.

"Ouch! Stop that! You've made your point you green little fool."

Yoda whacks him again. Call me that again and clean the floor with you I will."

The emperor shuffles off rubbing his head. Yoda yells back at the Emperor as security and Isabel's brothers help drag the Imperial guards outside. They start kicking and stomping the guards off the premises. The restaurant owner has two of his men stand at the closed doors as 'justice is served' outside behind the hedges near the docking area. The partying continues inside. Yoda smiles up at Isabel. They are alone at a table in the corner.

"So, finally, the fiancée of Anakin Skywalker I meet. Sometimes that boy is as dumb as a box of meteor rocks but he occasionally does something smart. Oh, here comes the _'genius'_ now. Hello, you big dummy. You going to ruin another good woman, are you?"

Anakin kisses Isabel and makes sure she is okay. He blushes. "Yoda!" He looks around to make sure no one hears the old Jedi master. He sits on the bench beside Isabel.

"You can't keep it in your pants can you?" He smirks as he looks at Anakin. "You know of what I speak. You're real proud of yourself aren't you?"

"Well…yeah. But isn't she pretty?"

"Yes, beautiful. She could have done better. Now she's stuck with you." He taps Anakin on his leg with the gimer stick. "Scooch over you dumb blonde beanstalk."

"Oww." Anakin slides over as the diminutive Jedi hops onto the bench between the couple. Anakin feels a lecture coming on. The three are near the semi-secluded corner table. No one stops over to bother them. Yoda exchanges a smile with Isabel. He is immediately smitten with her. He turns to look up at Anakin and his smile turns into a cynical scowl.

"So, nice party tonight. You two youngsters ready for marriage tomorrow, are you?"

"Yes, Master, we are."

"Six months remaining you have for fun and frolic, looks like you got too serious with the frolicking already." Yoda looks at Isabel's belly then seems to be murmuring something to the baby. He chuckles softly; he gives Isabel another one of his sweet smiles then turns again with a disappointed scowl for Anakin.

Anakin rolls his eyes.

"What?"

"New Skywalker, sweet one he will be, but a temper like his father he has." He giggles.

"You don't know that…Ouch! Yoda!"

Yoda pokes Anakin. "You watch out for him." He then Force-speaks to Anakin in a way Isabel cannot detect. _'Watch out for him. Great danger comes with his birth. Dark forces. Protect him you must. You know what you must do.'_

Anakin listens carefully and knows of what Yoda speaks_ 'I will. I promise, Master.'_

They speak aloud now. Yoda smiles. He pokes Anakin with that damned stick again hitting him in the gut. "Isabel, watch out for this one you must. If not careful, houseful of children you will have. Invest in stun gun. Place it on your nightstand you should. Two zaps should do the trick."

Isabel is giggling now. Anakin is embarrassed. "Isabel, don't laugh, you'll only encourage him. He's not that funny. Believe me."

Yoda takes Isabel's hand and then Anakin's. "Say goodnight to one another. Big day tomorrow you have. Get lots of rest. Anakin, you return immediately to me after she leaves here. She needs to get a running start."

"I do have some self-control, Master Yoda."

"Some, not enough. Go. Isabel, Goodnight my, child."

"Goodnight, Master Yoda." She kisses the Jedi Master on the cheek. Anakin escorts her to her speeder.

"I hope he hasn't made you change your mind about me. Isabel, I love you. Goodnight"

"No, I still love you enough to marry you. Goodnight." They kiss goodnight.

Blaise and Lara take her home.

Anakin returns to the old Jedi as instructed. He and Yoda spend several minutes chatting before he says goodnight.

Tomorrow is going to be quite a day.

_To be continued…'Four Ghosts and a Wedding'_

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_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy**_

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	60. Chapter 60 Four Ghosts and A Wedding

_Chapter 60_

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'_Four Ghosts and a Wedding'_

'_A Royal Pain in the Ass Wedding'_

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It is a beautiful Saturday morning. The Courtyard leading up to the chapel is festooned with Republic banners and fresh flowers. Servants and attendants are awaiting instruction from the wedding coordinator. Leia had left a list of specific instructions for the coordinator to follow.

Leia and the other bridesmaids are preparing for the ceremony. Leia has one of her servants supervise Aura in the next room. She is getting a new look.

The droids get a cleaning and polishing up. The servants are bustling about. Flowers and gifts are arriving at the house throughout the morning. Anakin gives all the house staff an extra days' salary for putting up with the chaos. Leia knocks on her fathers' bedroom door. He is having trouble with his shirt and jacket. Leia is still in her dressing gown.

"How's it going, Dad?"

"I can't seem to get this shirt right. Why aren't you dressed?"

"Don't worry about me. Let me take a look." Leia is doing something to his shirt. She is grinning.

"What is it?"

"You have it buttoned all wrong? That's why it's lopsided. Are you nervous or just an idiot?"

"Which answer will get me more respect from my daughter?"

"You know I always have the utmost respect for you." She finishes then shapes his collar and stands back. "Well, aren't you handsome? Look at yourself in the mirror."

Anakin examines himself in the full length mirror. He smiles the lets out a sigh. "Leia, I'm glad you're here to help me."

"I know. So, what are you standing there for? Get a move on, slick!"

"Yes, ma'm."

"You really look great, Daddy. I'm truly happy for you." She kisses him.

"Thank you, Leia." She starts to leave. Anakin speaks again. "Leia?"

"Yes, Daddy?"

"Where did you take Isabel last week for her bachlorette party?"

"We took her out to dinner. Why?"

"I was just curious. For awhile, I thought you kids were up to some high jinks again. Did you have a good time?"

"Of course. I heard you did the traditional 'kidnap the groom-to-be' nonsense."

"Yeah. The guys drafted poor Luke for that one. See, I'm smart. I see things."

"I know. I heard Yoda called you dumb as a box of rocks last night."

"Do you believe the nerve of that old man?"

Leia laughs. "See you in a bit, Dad."

She leaves.

Back in the chapel, ushers are preparing to receive guests. Qui-Gon , Mace, Ki-Adi and Aayla arrive early. They find their seats. Aayla sits first then Ki-Adi Mundi, Qui-Gon and Mace.

Qui-Gon leans over to Ki-Adi-Mundi, _'Psst, hey, Ki, change seats with me.'_

'_Why?'_

'_Change seats with me. Get up!' _He stands.

'_No. I'm already settled in. We got special our names on the seats.'_

_Qui-Gon is still standing. He puts his hands on his hips. 'Are you gonna move or what?'_

'_We arrived in this order. No.'_

'_Come on.''_

'_Why should I switch seats with you anyway?' _

'_Sit in my seat. Pretend you're me. People will think you're the 'cool' one in the group.'_

Ki-Adi thinks for a second then realizes he has just been insulted.

Mace is getting annoyed._ 'What are you two fighting about now?'_

Qui-Gon holds up his hands, _'I got it under control, Mace. Relax.' _He taps Ki-Adi again. _Ok, let's go out side and settle this like men.'_

'_The wedding is about to start…'_

'_We've got plenty of time. Let's go.'_

He holds out his hand as if to let Ki-Adi out of the pew first. Ki-Adi gets up and starts to leave the pew when Qui-Gon steals his seat. Ki-Adi does a double-take and realizes he has been duped. He is furious.

'_Mace! See what he just did?'_

Mace is fed up. He tried to ignore them but now they are making him angry._ 'Who am I, your 'Daddy'? This is a sacred place. Can't you behave as if you had some home training? You two start this mofo b.s. every mofo time we go out. See that? You made me curse in a house of worship. Qui-Gon. Leave him alone. And Ki-Adi, sit your ass down and be quiet before you find my foot up your ghost ass!'_

Brother Cole Sees Agostus enters the chapel carrying a floral arrangement. He places it at the altar. He turns and sees the four Jedi ghosts. He genuflects, then frantically rushes into the rectory to tell Friar _Doubting_ Thomas. He trips over the collection basket. Qui-Gon laughs out loud then turns. He smiles over at Aayla. She has been ignoring him since they arrived.

'_Hey, Honey. If I catch the garter you will be first one I choose to wear it.'_

'_You've got to catch me first.'_

They wait for the first of the guests to arrive.

Meanwhile Friar Doubting Thomas sees Brother Cole breathing heavily and looking pale.

"What is it Brother Cole? You're as white as a sheet. You look as if you've seen a ghost."

"I have. I was placing the flowers on the altar and there were four of them. They waved at me."

"The Force works in mysterious ways, Brother Cole. It's good that you think the spirits communicate with us but it's not to be taken literally."

"But I saw them. They were real. One winked at me and another one was reading a prayer book from the pew."

"I doubt that. It's not right to exaggerate, Brother Cole. I think you should meditate for the next week to cleanse your soul."

"You mean you don't believe me?"

"For some time now you have been telling me of stories about a beautiful blue ghost wearing a bippy top and low-rider Capri pants. That's a sign you are having impure thoughts. Repent now before you follow the path to the dark side. You may go now."

"That's it? No investigation?"

"You are having a lapse in faith and you have lust in your heart."

"But…I did see her…I…."

"Go now. I will pray the gods forgive you for your crisis in faith."

The poor monk feels dejected. He leaves after bowing to the skeptical friar.

The ceremony is about to begin.

The music begins to play as the guests arrive. The four ghosts make comments on what the guests are wearing. Supreme Commander Mon Mothma arrives with an escort and two bodyguards. She was granted extra protection by the Republic due to Imperial death threats. Her guards make eye contact with the Imperial Guards get into a staring match. Palpatine sees her and waves. She ignores him.

Several other invited members of the senate. Lando Calrissian and his wife, Tendra Risant, are seated near the Queen of Naboo and Prince Timmy in the area set aside for heads of star Systems and Royalty. The marriage arranged at birth, was quite an inconvenience to the Queen. The Queen didn't worry too much though because Tim was only pulled out for important events such as this. Otherwise he spent his days away at boarding school on Cato Neimoidia and air boarding with his friends.

The Queen spent her free time with her handsome bodyguard Raul, a distant relative of Viceroy Bail Organa.

Leia had invited the viceroy and his wife to the wedding as a gesture of goodwill and courtesy but the invitation was declined. The couple was still heartbroken when Leia was taken from them 13 years earlier. Bail came to terms with the decision but his wife never fully recovered. Leia was allowed to correspond with them but as Leia grew to know and love her natural father, the lines of communications slowly faded.

The chapel was quickly filling up with guests. Outside, the Imperial cruiser limo pulls up. Palpatine exits the vehicle and waves to the crowd. He is wearing a new Imperial robe made especially for this occasion. He was hoping to speak to Anakin before the ceremony but he was not available. Palpatine's escort, Sly Moore, also exited the vehicle. She is wearing an ice blue floor length chiffon gown with a high collar decorated with rare Genosian condor feathers. She actually resembled the bird of prey with that bald head popping out of the feathered collar. As Palpatine waves to the crowd, more than a few gave him the 'finger' and held up signs of protest. Another spectator in the crowd throws a rotting piece of fruit. The Imperial guards take off running after the attacker as the emperor enters the chapel. Qui-Gon nudges the other ghosts when he sees the couple and begins to make squawking noises.

'_Caw-cawl! calk-caw! I'd love to see her do the 'chicken dance' at the reception'_

Meanwhile, back at the bride's suite, Mr. Nor paces outside. Isabel s almost ready. Nakai cannot believe this is the day he sacrifices his daughter to the 'creature'. He sees the door open. One of the attendants tells him to enter the room. He sees his little girl all dressed up. _'She is doomed'_, he thought to himself. _'I have to save her from herself.' _This is his last chance. _'Do it now,'_ He thought. _'Talk some sense into her.'_ Yes. He knew what he must do.

"Hi, Daddy."

Nakai almost melts when he hears these words. She looks like a princess. The Ivory Felucia silk gown with the butterfly open coat looked magnificent. The 2 meter train has the same jewel-encrusted emblem of the republic as the train on Leia's maid of honor dress. Isabel's veil is a meter long and attached by a jeweled ponytail band borrowed from Leia. He knew his daughter would make a beautiful bride but for someone else.

"You look ..great…Isabel.." He could barely get the words out. "Daughter?"

"Yes Daddy?" She stands in front of the mirror and smiles.

"You don't have to do this to punish me."

A worried look is on her face.

"Dad, you were going to let it go."

"You really want to go through with this? Let's sit down and talk. If you still feel the same way I'll take you down there. But hear me out. Please?"

Anakin has left the house already. Obi-Wan arrives to pick up Aura. He is shocked by what he sees. She is dressed like a ballerina with a long blue chiffon skirt and long puffy sleeves and high neckline. She resembles 'Little Bo Peep' at the ballet all she needed was a staff and a herd of sheep.

"What on Hoth happened to you?"

"Hi, Benji, you like it?" Aura is more excited about the outfit than he is.

"Uh…it's different." He looks at Leia. He thinks Leia has a mean streak in her. Leia force talks to him.

"_Don't blame me. I gave her a choice, and this is what she selected."_

"_What was the other choice, a nun's habit?"_

Leia smiles and shrugs sheepishly.

Obi-Wan wags his finger at her and whispers in a stern voice. _"You're twisted and evil."_ He smiles at Aura. "My dear, you look like a sweet little Twi'lek farm girl"

"Oh, Benji, I knew you would like it."

"My dear, you make any outfit look stunning." He kisses her.

Back at the chapel Anakin waits outside. A vehicle pulls up. He is beaming. He walks over and leans over the passenger side. "You look absolutely stunning, Madame. So, you still want to go through with this?"

"Anakin, it's an honor to be here today. I would love to stand in as mother of the groom."

"Thanks, Gladys, This means so much to me."

"Nervous, Anakin?"

A man in his early 70's is sitting in the drivers' seat. "Honey, I'll meet you inside."

"Hello, Mr. Jensen. Don't worry about parking. We have valet service." Gladys Pi-Lippa Jensen and husband Uli Jensen wait outside for the rest of the wedding party.

"Oh, Well, that's convenient."

A valet opens the driver's side and takes the vintage speeder. Uli Jensen walks over to Anakin and gives the groom a pat on the back. "I'll see you two inside."

"Thanks for loaning her to me for the day."

"Oh, she's been talking about this wedding for the past two months. She thinks of you as one of her sons. You know that, don't you?."

"She the best." Ready,_ 'Mom'?"_

"I'm ready if you are _'Son.' My, aren't you just so debonair today."_

Anakin blushes and hold out his arm. She slips her hand into the crook of his arm.

The rest of the wedding party arrives. Anakin and Gladys enter first. As they approach the altar, Gladys gives him a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek. She is escorted to her seat beside her husband. Anakin stands alone at the altar.

Isabel's mother is seated on the opposite side of the chapel. Her sons and their wives are also present. The two sides of the pew is an amazing sight to see. On the bride's side are all of her friends, family, scholars, and members of the clergy, Royalty and heads of the Republic. On the groom's side is a Hodgepodge of characters: Bounty hunters, a hit squad Jedi, Sith lords from across the galaxy, a Twi'lek _Little Bo Beep_, Executive Secretary to the groom (aka. _The Dark Lord_), Imperial officers, an evil Emperor accompanied by a creepy blue mistress, a little green Jedi Master, a Wookie, and two droids.

The three Jedis, Luke, Obi-Wan and Nejaa Halcyon arrive and join Anakin at the Altar.

Anakin leans over to whisper to Obi-Wan. "Thanks for waiting until the reception to drink. I know this is a big sacrifice your making."

"Wha? Oh yeah. I'm here for you, Anakin. You're my brother. I love you." Obi-Wan feels inside his formal Jedi robe for his flask. He pats his chest then smiles over at Anakin.

Anakin blushes when Luke gives his father the _'thumbs up'_.

The music is about to play. Leia is already at the altar. The celebrant, the top ranking Holy man, manages a smile. Anakin watches the doors which are now closed. A few minutes pass. He is beginning to get nervous. Obi-Wan whispers to him.

"Relax, Anakin."

"Something is wrong. I can feel it." He wavers then begins to get angry."

He wants to go find her. He knows her father is behind this delay. Luke grabs his fathers' arm. He knows his father feels humiliated. Being left at the altar and everyone laughing at you. No one was laughing but this is how he felt. Suddenly the doors to the chapel open. The music swells. Everyone stands. Anakin breathes a sigh of relief as Isabel is escorted down the aisle. Anakin breathes easier now. He musters all his strength to remain at the altar and keeps from rushing up the aisle to grab her.

He is happy. Mara smiles over at Luke.Leia smiles over at her father.

Just before Isabel reaches the bottom step of the altar, her father stops. Nakai is taking his own sweet time. He does not move. Anakin is about to step down to grab her. Obi-Wan force talks to him.

'_Anakin, mind your temper.'_

Anakin greets his bride. He holds out his new hand. A semi-organic replica of his natural arm formed over the shaft of the mechanical one. It feels exactly like a real hand but has the strength of 20 men. Amazing thing those tissue cloning techniques and stem cells are!

Isabel smiles up at him. There is a tug of war going on. Nakai is not releasing Isabel to him. Anakin stares him down. Nakai finally releases her hand. Anakin grabs Nakai's hand and shakes it. Neither man was thrilled about doing this but Anakin felt he should do it since he was taking the man's only daughter. Anakin brings Isabel up to the Altar where the celebrant stands.

The ceremony officially begins when the holy man speaks:

"Dearly Beloved, we are assembled here in the presence of Gods and the Force to join this man and this woman in holy marriage. Marriage is one of the oldest and most sacred institutions of the heavens. It was established in the garden of Endor, graced by the personal presence of all that is good at the Sea of Whispers, likened by the Apostle Arca Jeth of Arkania to the mystical union which exists between the Force and the Heavens, and is declared in Holy Scripture to be honorable before all men. "Who giveth this woman in marriage?"

There is a long silence. Nakai is having trouble getting those words out. Qui-Gon whispers but everyone with force powers hears him.

'_What if I give the miserable old man a hearty slap on the back? That'll knock the wind back in him. Hey, you stubborn old goat, give up! They've got the higher ground! You're not up there at the altar anymore.'_

Yoda remarks, "Stick a lightsaber up his butt he needs."

The entire wedding party at the altar begins to laugh. Lara does not know what is being said, if anything, but she does see Nakai resisting to answer the holy man. Finally he speaks but just barely.

"Her mother… and… I do. Ahem!" He clears his throat..

Han is in the first row with friends of Leia and Luke. Callista is standing next to Han with her parents. She is giddy.

The Holy man continues with the ceremony and goes into a long speech about how marriage is a sacred bond.. Blah blah blah blah blah….

Qui-Gon is getting bored. _'Isn't it time for them to suck face yet? Geez!'_

Ki-Adi Mundi is snoring.

Anakin hears Qui-Gon's rant and tries not to laugh but he does manage to smile down at Isabel. She averts her eyes because she feels tears coming on. She does not want Anakin to look at her. Then the Holy man says something that even makes Qui-Gon sit up and take notice.

"**If anyone can show just cause why these two should not be married, let him speak now or forever hold his peace."**

At this point, both Mace and Qui-Gon speak at once,_ 'Oh, 'Sith!' Somebody's going to get killed today.'_

Han whispers to himself from the pew,_ "I've got a bad feeling about this."_

Callista knows what he his talking about.

Mace speaks from the 'Ghost Pew' 'Go on and say something, Nakai, so Anakin can kill your ass!'

Anakin looks up and into the congregation. He immediately zeros in on Mr. Nor. All eyes are on Isabel's father. Even Nor's wife Ouisanne gives him 'The Look':_ "Don't bother coming home tonight if you ruin your daughter's wedding."_

Yes, his daughter. He had to think about his daughter. How would she feel? His beautiful, pregnant, naïve daughter. His only daughter. The one carrying the spawn of this 'Sith' inside her once, pristine womb. '_We're all going to hell_,' he thought to himself..

Nakai's rage subsided somewhat. He looks down at his feet. He can barely bring himself to look up at the altar. He finally wills himself to look up. He purses his lips. Nothing. It wasn't even the storm troopers who were lined up around the pews as Anakin's honor guard. Placing them inside the chapel was frowned upon but he couldn't resist a good gag even if it were sacrilegious.

There was finally a sigh of relief in the chapel. So profound it echoed throughout the marble, gold and alabaster structure. Much to everyone's surprise, even the Evil Palpatine was rooting for the couple. He had to remain on Anakin's good side if he were going to complete his secret mission. He actually had half a heart of compassion for Anakin and his situation…a half of a rotting sith heart. There was something alive in that cob-web-laden shell of a body of his.

Finally the ceremony continues as the couple proclaim their love for one another. For the first time today, Anakin's eyes well up with tears of joy when the Holy man asks:

"Anakin, will you take this woman, whose hands you hold, choosing her alone to be your wedded wife? Will you live with her in the state of true matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honor her at all times, and be faithful to her?"

"I will." He is overcome with emotion as a tear rolls down his cheek. The Holy man continues as he looks to Isabel.

"Isabel, will you take this man, whose hands you hold, to be your wedded husband? Will you live with him, comfort him, honor him at all times, and be faithful to him?"

"I will"

"To love is to remember and keep alive for eternity all those unique qualities that drew you to one another in the beginning... Those first halting phrases...the thrill of discovery... That amazing feeling of oneness when your eyes met."

Qui-Gon giggles and adds his own dialogues,_ 'Isabel, I love you more than sand.__ Ifa I don't see youa no more I'mma gonna die.'_

There is a prayer. The couple sits at the altar as Leia and her brother read passages from the poem _'Canticle of Brother Sun and Sister Moon'._Anakin and Isabel are deeply touched. Anakin squeezes her hand.

Qui-Gon surprises everyone when he sheds a tear during this joyous occasion. Aayla and the others look at him. Mace looks away and smiles._ 'Qui-Gon, you're a real player. Keep it up, one day somebody's going to play you at your own game.'_

The ceremony continues when the Holy man accompanied by two friars assists in the holy ritual of binding their hands together with a sacred cloth blessed with healing waters. Leia holds Isabel's bouquet of Felucia orchids and white roses as the ritual takes place. Anakin feels her delicate hand on his. He is now focused on her and is no longer listening to the chatter from the _'Noisy'_ pew off to the side of the altar.

"Bless O God, this cloth, that he who is wedded in it and she who joins him in wearing today it may ever abide in thy peace, living together in unity, in love, and in happiness, and with good purpose do thy will. Amen.

This sacred cloth is yours to keep. It is a symbol of the unbroken unity of truth now to be symbolized in your married life. I pronounce you to be to each other, husband and wife. Whom therefore Heaven hath joined together, let no man and no dark Force put asunder."

Anakin looks at the three serious-looking holy men who finally manage to crack a smile and nod in the affirmative. Anakin kisses Isabel. "I love you, Mrs. Skywalker."

The guests applaud. Mara, Luke, Leia and a few people in the pews blow finger whistles. The gold embroidered silk hand wrap is draped between Anakin's thumb and forefinger as he kisses his wife. He faces the guests to present her to everyone. He folds the cloth and gently stuffs it inside his wedding coat.

Qui-Gon is in his seat sobbing. He claps his hands then dries his eyes with the sleeves of his robe. Aayla suddenly feels compassion for him. She opens her arms and hugs him. She pats him on his back.

'_I'm so sorry. You must think I'm such a wuss.'_

'_Oh, not at all. I love it when a guy shows his sensitive side. I've never seen this side of you Qui-Gon..'_

'_You do? You're so nice to me.'_

Qui-Gon can see down her midriff top. He smiles and rests his head on her chest. _'Oh, man.' _He is smiling.

'_What was that?'_

Qui-Gon pretends to continue to crying. _'Oh…man, this is the most beautiful wedding_. _Hold me; I don't know if I can take it.'_

Mace is listening to this and knows Qui-Gon is full of bantha fodder. He says nothing. Aayla can take care of herself. _'Qui-Gon, you're full of crap.'_

The music starts as the newlyweds prepare to join the wedding party up the aisle.

Suddenly Aayla looks over her shoulder. _'Qui-Gon?'_

'_Yes…yes…'_

'_Is that your hand on my ass?'_

'_Uhm…Oh..was that me? Oops, sorry. I must have drifted off to sleep.'_

She has a look of disgust on her face. She shoves him out of the way and leaves with Ki-Adi and Mace.

'_You disgust me!'_

'_Awh, Aayla, come on. I was really crying….of boredom! I thought that ceremony would never end. I hope all that religious mumbo jumbo was worth it.'_

'_What are you talking about?'_

'_I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen anything to make me  
believe there's one all-powerful force controlling everything. There's  
no mystical energy field that controls my destiny.'_

'_You're a Force-ghost, you moron!' _

_  
'Oh, you're right. I knew that. So, you want to make out or what?'_

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_To be continued…'My Big Fat Sith Wedding Reception'_

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	61. Chapter 61My Big Fat Sith Wedding Recept

_Chapter 61_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_My Big Fat Sith Wedding Reception'_

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The extravagant wedding banquet, which is held in the ballroom of the elegant Piazza Aquaris Ballroom, is rounded off in spectacular style with the entrance of the eight-tiered, 2.80-metre cake. It was the crowning glory of a feast that began with two appetizers: Naboo Lake crab with lime salsa, and tuxedo scallops with bacon and truffles. The main courses were the local dish of roasted loin of shaak served on a bed of tossed greens, with pera sauce and garnished with Felucia parsley – and fish from the Dune Sea on Tatooine wrapped in blanched seaweed and oyster sauce. Dessert was sorbet with seasonal fruits and berries from Naboo. The accompanying wine was a present from Queen of Naboo, who owns a family vineyard at their château in the Corellian region of Cor Vallee.

Today saw perhaps the most unconventional imperial wedding ever. And in the years to come, the marriage of Dark Lord of the Sith to Isabel Nor may be seen as a benchmark of intergalactic nuptials. The couple certainly did not go about their courtship in a traditional way. Soon after they met in his home more than 10 years ago, it became clear that this relationship was going to end at the altar. Unfortunately, the relationship took a 10 year detour. And so, this afternoon, after a three month engagement, the heir to the Empire took a beautiful raven-haired woman from a Coruscant suburb to be his wife and future Empress. But first he would have to do something about that pesky current ruler. Anakin would bide his time. There would soon be balance to the force.

'_**And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, hold onto your seatbelts!**_

_**A Few Words from the Father of the Bride'**_

The wedding party arrives after sitting for holographs outside the chapel and with friends and family. Isabel's father still has that_ 'shaak in cruiser lights' _expression on his face. His little girl had been taken from him. The Wedding album is going to look really interesting.

At the end of the dinner and after a moving speech by the former Chancellor Valorum to kick off the event, Nakai gives his last speech in the past two days. The guests were bracing themselves for what was going to come out of his mouth. He chooses his words carefully. He _**'thought' **_the others:

"As the father of the bride I have the pleasure of making the first speech. Your presence here is important to them. I want to thank everyone who has been so kind to my daughter during this difficult time.

You know if you want to see your life passing before your eyes, have a daughter. They'll tear at your heartstrings when she fall and scrapes her knee or when her best friend moves to another star system. Nothing, however prepares any father for the moment when she brings a boy home or a middle-aged man with two teenage kids of his own and she looks you in the eye and tells you she loves him and that they plan to marry. I am coming to terms with it. I apologize for being less than gracious and stubborn. She's ready to move on with a life of her own. She really loves him.

What can I say about Anakin? He's certainly conscientious," _(What he really meant to say was: tenacious) "... _and, along with his generosity and determination" _(What he really wanted to say was: merciless)_, "it's clear that he appreciates the finer things in life. My daughter deserves the best" _(Not You)_.

"And when it comes to talking about Isabel's qualities, where do I start? She's intelligent, generous, hard working and popular – she's her father's daughter all right! Over the years I have seen Isabel develop many talents. She has won awards for music, for archery, learned how to ski the tortuous Alps of Hoth, and followed her interests in traveling, was a babysitter for our neighbors' kids, as well as finding time to help out in the family gondola business.

Isabel was a little apprehensive about what I might say during this speech and truly terrified when I mentioned that I intended to kidnap her and take her back to the safety of our home. I know all of you were afraid of what I might say as well. But don't panic, I have abandoned that idea, in any case we have no doubts whatsoever that Anakin will take very good care of our baby girl as he has always done." _(He meant to say this, because he truly believed it)._

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have a beautiful bride. We have a charming and handsome groom. Please join me in a toast to Anakin and Isabel."

He looks down at Anakin, takes a deep breath then extends his hand. Anakin stands and shakes the hand of his new father-in-law.

The groom's speech came hot on the heels of Obi-Wan Kenobi's, which was just as touching albeit a bit too honest because he was a bit too drunk!

'_**Whisky, It's What's For Dinner' – A few words from the Jedi Master**_

"Isabel, you are exceptionally open and honest, you are truly committed to this family, you have an amazing strength of will, you are brave, you have made an exceptional choice today and you are very much in love with Anakin! This boy wanted to jump your bones years ago but he was a neurotic idiot and messed it all up when he got you fired."

Han is seated near the inebriated Jedi Master and tries to end the speech. The guests sit at their tables shocked. Anakin turns four different shades of red. Han attempts to wrestle the microphone away from 'Old Ben,' but the Jedi is on a roll.

"Thanks, old man, now lets' get you back to your seat…"

"Wait! I'm not finished yet!" He leans over to regain control of the microphone. Han gets him seated.

"Don't everyone thank me at once."

Just as Han is about to sit, Obi-Wan leaps to his feet and grabs the microphone again. Han gives up.

Obi-Wan takes a deep breath and looks out at the stunned guests. He realizes what he has just said and knows he has had too much to drink. He looks apologetically at the couple he is supposed to be honoring. Suddenly his eyes widen as if an epiphany comes over him. He waves his hand in front of the guests.

"You don't remember this part of the speech."

No reaction. Han stands close by as the horrified relatives in Isabel's family look on. Han tries to grab him again but Obi-Wan resists. He tries waving his hand in front of the guests once more. "You don't remember this speech"

In unison, the guests repeat in a chant, "We don't remember that speech"

"We're waiting to hear the real speech."

The guest chant back, "We're waiting to hear the real speech."

Luke and Leia are laughing out loud. Yoda reaches for some extra sugared almonds from someone else's dish. Anakin rubs his head. Leia waves to Han that he should let Obi-Wan continue to speak.

Han scoffs at the old Jedi. "It's all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense."

But Obi-Wan has found his bearings.

It was an amazing recovery. Palpatine rolls his eyes.

"Old fool"

Obi-Wan force- talks to Palpatine

'Who's the more foolish...the fool or the fool who stays to listen to him?'

Yoda goes over to the emperor's table and whacks him upside the head with his gimer stick. He walks away and laughs.

Han looks at Luke. "Where did you dig up that old fossil?"

"Which one? Oh." He laughs then, with a sincere expression Luke answers. "Ben is a great man."

'Yeah, great at getting drunk.'

'Old Ben' grabs the mike and begins to speak.

"What I want to say to Anakin and Isabel is you have faith, a new hope, and love; but the greatest of these is love. You have always had love for one another. I see that love in your twins, Anakin. You have chosen well, my dear friend. Isabel is very special. I can see your unborn children in her eyes. The path you have chosen has not been without thorns. But love has prevailed.

Today it is being confirmed for the entire galaxy to see: love is the greatest of all, greater even than faith or hope. You have given courage to so many who have felt weak and helpless. You are showing us the creative power of love. There has always been good in you, Anakin. Isabel was smart enough to see it. She has stayed with you when others tried to make her see otherwise. You have an ally who loves you unconditionally and keeps you on track when you feel unsure of yourself. You have passion. I have seen you at your worse when passion has consumed you. Passion is a powerful force. It can be fierce, it can also tear you apart but it can also restore. Passion can be divine. It is a gift from the Force. Keep your passion alive and let it renew you.

Anakin and Isabel, when your eyes are opened we understand that the Forces' grace is infinite. This is the moment you have waited for with confidence. This is the moment you can acknowledge with gratitude.

Anakin, she whom you have chosen is offered to you as a gift.

Isabel, he whom you have chosen, is given to you. May the Force be with you…always."

Obi-Wan has redeemed himself. There is not a dry eye in the room. The speech has a special meaning for many people in the room. Callista squeezes her parents' hands. They recall the day Anakin stayed with them at the hospital when their daughter lay at death's door. Uli Jensen has Anakin to thank for giving his wife something to meaningful to do to keep her from the depths of depression when her only adopted daughter was murdered by a relative of Darth Maul. Anakin had never asked for anything in return.

Obi-Wan returning to his seat after the toast but not before he kisses Isabel and exchanges a warm embrace with Anakin. Anakin whispers to him with a tear in his eye but smiles. "You're out of control. I preferred your drunken rant to this."

"It's your special day, Anakin. You've done well. You deserve your good fortune."

"All because of your training, Master."

"You have a speech to give. Go show your father-in-Law who's the man." He gives Anakin a good-natured elbow nudge and a wink."

Leia kisses Obi-wan. Aura gives him a really big kiss.

"Oh, Benji, you're so romantic."

Han grimaces at the sight of the two in their passionate lip-lock. What's more disturbing is that it looks like Obi-Wan is making out with Little Bo Peep who had a tiny Betty Boop voice to match!

'_**I Love You'**_

You could have heard a pin drop as the Dark Lord said these three words to the woman of his heart. In reply, Isabel reaches for her handkerchief and dries her eyes. _"I have never been so in love as I am with you,"_ continued her new husband.

Anakin grabs Isabel's champagne glass and drinks. He empties the glass He takes a deep breath and takes his turn at the microphone. He looks out at the tables filled with wedding guests.

"_Honorable Jedi_

_Your Royal Highnesses, _

_Galactic Governors and Senate_

_Friends and Family_

_Dear Isabel,_

_We're all here. This is the moment I have dreamt of for so long. Now we're together at last. _

_I would like to thank you, Obi-Wan and the Former Chancellor Sinis Valorum for your inspiring words. _

_Dear, Nakai, Ouisanne, Stefan, and Pascal. It has been a great pleasure getting to know you and your family. I felt welcome from the very start. Ha-ha. Just joking! And although it's not always easy to be related to the woman who is to marry a 'Dark Lord,' you have never let this get in the way of our friendship. (he winks) I'm trying to make you laugh, Mr. Nor. Lighten up. I always enjoy visiting your home. Not knowing what sort of creature would jump out and attack me was an adventure in itself. I feel I've got to know you well in the relatively short time we've been together, and I'm happy that I can now call you my family… 'Dad'_

_Dear Obi-Wan, Luke and Leia you have always been a fantastic support for me and now, also for Isabel. We've spent many long evenings talking and discussing over the last several months what our life would be like as one. This has taught me a lot and given me a good feeling. Although it has been tough at times, I feel that it has helped us grow. You are all strong, tolerant people with a great capacity for love. Luke and Leia, the way you have accepted Isabel has been wonderful. Luke, thank you for giving me the card and taunting me enough that I finally made the call. Thank you for all your support and care. _

_I would also like to thank my Imperial Secretary and 'surrogate mother,' Gladys Pi-Lippa Jensen, Jedi Master Yoda, and the spirits of great friends who have helped guide me to this moment. __I'm listening better.__ Many thanks to my protocol droid Threepio, and my flight partner Artoo and the entire house staff at the Skywalker home. Thank you for your tireless efforts and dedication. You have all been of invaluable assistance to us both. _

_My heartfelt thanks also go to all those throughout the galaxy who have supported Isabel and me their thoughts and prayers, with handshakes, messages and good wishes. This has warmed and brightened our days. _

_Dearest Isabel, _

_Your spirit glows with light. _

_Each day I follow you to that light. I want to be part of that world again. _

_You are intensely committed, courageous, exasperating, and most times, a perfectionist. You don't let me get away with much. You also have an uncanny sense of humor and a big and warm heart. In other words you are an absolutely fantastic, complex person. _

_I don't think I've ever been as angry with anyone as I have been with you. _

_I don't think I've ever been so weak or as strong as when I've been together with you. _

_I don't think I've ever been so filled with love as when I am together with you. _

_You bring out everything that is in me, the good the bad, the light, the dark. When we communicate I feel like a whole person. Thank you for giving me this feeling. _

_Today you are no longer only my friend, my girlfriend and my fiancée. Today we have been married, and you have become Mrs. Anakin Skywalker. I am looking forward to being with you. I cannot promise that it will be easy or that there will be no problems, I can be a real pain in the ass, but our life together will be interesting and fulfilling. _

_Thank you for giving me the opportunity to know your family. This is a gift in itself. _

_Thank you for your love and for everything you've done, Isabel. I'm proud to call myself your husband. _

_For now we're here. Now, after too many years apart, we're together. _

_Isabel, I love you. _

_And now I would like to propose a toast to the bride."_

Qui-Gon is amazed._ 'Damn! Ani, I didn't know you had it in you. You're the man! Hey, I want to make a speech. Ani's going around saving people, hiring people off the street. This gig is a chick magnet! Aayla, you think if…'_

'_No.'_

'_Let me finish, woman. You think that…'_

'_No. Get away from me before I kick you in the Jedi jewels again.'_

'_Aayla, you're a tough woman. You need to be more like Isabel. I bet she's never done anything like that to Anakin.'_

'_Qui-Gon, you're crude and you're a womanizer. Anakin is sweet and he's a gentleman.'_

'_So what's your point?'_

'_You're impossible.'_

_Mace laughs. When Ki-Adi Mundi laughs, Qui-Gon sneers at him. 'What are you looking at?'_

He ponders for a moment then looks down at the newlyweds.

'_I could make a speech. I could say some nice things to make people cry.'_

Mace chuckles, _'Qui-Gon, that's all you would do is make people cry. Just sit your Ghost ass down.'_

'_I could make a nice speech…remember when I lay dying and young and sober Obi-Wan cradled my head in his arm. The background music was swelling… I said, '__**Obi-Wan promise...promise me you'll train the boy...' **__that was a moment to remember._

'_Qui-Gon, you were dying. That's the best example you have of a speech you've given?'_

'_I thought it was eloquent. And the music was beautiful.'_

'_You heard music while you were dying? You watch too many movies. All I heard when I died was glass shattering.'_

'_Bummer.'_

'_Leia's giving us a dirty look for talking…we waited till Anakin was finished. She needs to calm the 'eff' down. Obi-Wan did a good job. Great speech from the old boozer.'_

'_Yeah.'_

'_You know, making him take over Anakin's training sent him over the edge. Come to think of it, we wouldn't be sitting here as Force-Ghosts if it weren't for you. This is all your fault, Qui-Gon.'_

'_How is it 'My' fault?'_

'_You dragged that boy into the Jedi Council trying to convince us he was the chosen one. You were high that day too.'_

'_But look at our 'Little Orphan Ani' now. He's happy again, got a sweet ass of a wife, two wacky kids and one in the oven….'_

'_And we're still dead.'_

'_Hey, at least we got invited to the wedding.'_

'_True. Good work, you degenerate hippie.'_

_Ki-Adi-Mundi turns to them, 'I think I heard music when I died.' _Mace and Qui-Gon look at him. Aayla tries not to giggle.

_**Qui-Gon quips:**_

'_Yeah, 'Happy Days Are Here Again.' Hahahaa!'_

'_Ignore him, Ki-Adi. He's a big oaf.'_

_Qui-Gon smiles, 'Yeah, She wants me.' _He winks at Aayla. She snubs him.

After the speeches, the guests mingle and dance but not before Isabel and Anakin have their first dance together. He was not thrilled about this part of the wedding but he managed. He wasn't half bad. Nakai finally gets a moment to dance with his daughter.

"Are you happy?"

"Yes, Daddy, I'm happy."

"Then I guess that's what matters."

Afterwards, the guests gather to watch the cake cutting ceremony. Han watches Leia applaud. She is so happy for her father. She wipes a tear from her eye.

"Leia, you've done a great job putting this together. He'll never forget this moment."

"Han, I love him so much. Sometimes I think about all the fights we've had and wonder why. I adore him."

Yoda chuckles and goes to the gift room and shakes the boxes. He walks into Luke. Luke scolds him.

"Don't do that."

"Mine! Mine!"

"Stop that!"

"No! No, no! Stay and help you, I will. Open gifts." He grabs another box. It is heavy. Yoda raises the box using the Force. Luke catches it. He scowls up at Luke. "Who gave the margarita machine? Someone thinks Skywalkers drink a lot they do. Hmmmm"

Luke rolls his eyes and lets Yoda continue but warns him.

"Keep it up, you'll break something. Besides, they're not our gifts to open."

"Okay, Okay…Let's go see of anymore shrimps on sticks they have, hmmm?"

"Fine. You go"

Mara finds them.

"Trolling for wedding gifts?"

"No, Mara. Just watching Yoda."

"Oh. This is a nice room. What's in this closet?"

"I don't know. We have to get back out there. My dad and Isabel are about to cut the cake."

They hear a loud rumble in the closet. Mara and Luke fold their arms and wait to see who emerges. They are surprised to see Qui-Gon emerge. He is a little disheveled for a Force ghost. His ponytail is loose. He straightens out his robes and continues walking pass them.

'_You kids should get in the dining room. They're about to cut the wedding cake. Go. Run along!' _

Mara and Luke stand on the side of the closet. Suddenly Aayla tumbles out. She is disheveled as well. She holds her head high and straightens her top as she walks out. She pretends not to see them. Luke and Mara giggle. Suddenly they both look at the closet then each other.

They hear a voice.

'_No. Don't even think about it. Get the Hoth out of here. You kids should be ashamed. Get your horny little Jedi asses back to the reception. _

"Mace, we weren't going to do anything."

'Don't lie. I saw the look on your face. Wait till your father finds out.'

"Okay! We're going."

Everyone returns to the banquet room. Luke arrives just in time to witness Isabel and his father cutting the cake. It is a beautiful moment. There is no messy 'cramming of cake' into the mouth of the spouse. Theirs is a dignified moment. The servants take over and being distributing cake to the guests.

The party gets a bit lively when people converge onto the dance floor again. Palpatine still has not gotten the chance to dance with the bride.

Anakin has a surprise for Isabel. He hops onto the stage with the orchestra and does something no one else expected. He sings. Isabel is in shock. He had not done this since an event during the Clone Wars many years ago.

After the 'performance, the new couple stand together watching the entertainment. The Emperor finally gets an 'audience' with the pair.

"Well, congratulations are in order. Isabel, you make a beautiful bride."

"Thank you, your Excellency."

"So, you'll soon be off on your honeymoon. Endor is beautiful this time of year."

Anakin smiles cautiously at the old buzzard.

"Thank you for coming today, Excellency."

"Anakin, you know my confidant Sly Moore, don't you?"

"Yes, we have met on occasion. Madame."

Sly Moore nods and stares blankly at the couple. Anakin speaks again."

"I hope you had an enjoyable time."

"We have indeed. Isabel, may I kiss…."

Anakin will only permit the Emperor to kiss Isabel's hand. He does not want him embracing her for fear he will try something. Anakin still does not trust him. Palpatine takes her hand and kisses it.

The rest of the guests mingle and try to catch up with the rest of the Skywalker clan. Luke and Leia have always been the darlings of the Jedi and of the Republic. Everyone wanted to spend time with them. Luke made a point of circulating the tables to chat with the guests. He was especially happy to see Callista at the wedding.

Callista and Luke chat while her parents extended their heartfelt congratulations to Anakin and Isabel. Callista's time with Luke was bittersweet. He was so kind and attentive to her but he didn't look at her the same way he did at Mara.

Gladys was busy getting the bridesmaids together for a group holograph. Uli Jensen was quite the shutterbug. The retired school teacher, Uli discovered his talent for Holography. With Gladys away visiting their grand children, Uli became bored. He realized he was good when the school re- hired him as the official holographer. It was fun but Uli was comfortable with retired life. He wanted a hobby not a job. This made him happy.

Awhile later Mrs. Nor called for a Skywalker-Nor family holo. Anakin insisted Callista and her parents join them. Luke positions himself between Mara and Callista. Callista could see the way Luke looked into Mara's green eyes.

The three childhood schoolmates were now approaching young adulthood. Relationships change.

After the picture-taking, Luke watches his father with Isabel. Mara walks up behind him. She places her hand on his shoulder.

"They really look great together."

"Yeah, they do"

"I'm glad your father finally found someone after all he's been through."

"So am I."

"Congratulations, Lu-Lu."

"Thanks. Want to go watch the fireworks? They'll be starting soon."

"Sure. It was so nice of Isabel to ask me to be in her wedding. I wasn't sure if you'd be comfortable with it."

"I'm fine with it…she likes you, Mara. I like you. Did I tell you how great you look tonight...all day; actually… you know what I mean." Luke is embarrassed at how awkward he must sound. He discreetly reaches for her hand. She looks down at the marble floor. She looks into his blue eyes.

Mara smiles sweetly. She almost giggles but she sees Luke is fumbling. She doesn't want him to feel more self conscious than he already is. "You're saying I look nice? Not all my clothes are made of leather, Lu-Lu."

"Sorry."

She gives him a playful shove. "Relax, I'm teasing you. I'm flattered. That means a lot coming from you."

"Really?"

"Yes. You're a very special person. I do like you though."

"Maybe we can go out sometime. Just the two of us."

"Lu-Lu, are you hitting on me?

"Well…"

"I think you are." She leans in to kiss him when C3PO interrupts.

"Master Luke, your father needs you immediately."

Luke lets out a sigh then answers without turning to face the droid. "In a second, Threepio." He is apologetic as he speaks again to Mara. "Sorry. I'll return, I promise."

"Go."

Luke goes up to the balcony where his father is joined by Isabel's family and close friends to watch the fireworks display.

"Dad? You wanted to see me?"

"Just for a minute. I wanted to say goodnight in case you want to go off with your friends later and I miss you."

"But my curfew…you said…"

"I know what I said. Today is special. Here." He places something in Luke's hand.

"What is it?"

"It's a wedding gift to my best groomsman. I was going to wait until your graduation from the Jedi Academy but Isabel and I discussed it."

"Dad, you spoil me. Grandfather's going to be pissed."

"If anyone is going to give my son a speed bike, it's going to be me. He can give you something else."

"I don't know what to say. I love you, Dad. Thank you." He embraces Isabel and whispers to her. "Thanks, 'Mom' I always wanted to call you that when I was little. Keep the old man in line, will you?"

"I promise. I love you, Luke."

"I love you too. I think someone down there is waiting for you. Go"

He smiles and hurries back downstairs.

Leia sits with Han. A vehicle access card dangles from the sash of her blue gown. The card belongs to her mother's Naboo Star Skiff. Anakin purchased it from Theed Palace and had it refurbished. It was a beautiful ship. If she was going to follow that scruffy nerf-herder around, Anakin would prefer she do it in style. She smiles at Han then looks up at the evening sky. She has the coolest father in the galaxy. She knew that just because she had a beautiful gift from him it would never end their constant head-butting. She would be heartbroken if they ever stopped fighting. It's what she lived for.

After watching part of a great fireworks display, Anakin and Isabel say 'goodnight to everyone and disappear to their wedding suite in a private apartment behind the cloistered walls of the monastery.

As the fireworks show continues, Luke joins Mara on one of the marble benches in the garden overlooking the city. It is there that they share their first kiss. Inside the banquet room Leia sits on Han's lap feeding him a slice of the wedding cake. They have a view of the fireworks display from their table near the glass doors. Aura and Obi-Wan are in the back seat of the Emperor's Imperial cruiser. The emperor is quite surprised.

Isabel's mother watches the fireworks from the balcony of the Piazza Aquaris and gently pats her husband on the back. It will take some time for him to get used to the 'Dark Lord' calling him 'Dad'

Over in the Wedding suite Anakin carries Isabel into their room. He kisses her then Force-slams the door. He snaps his fingers then wrings his hands. She looks into his eyes as he smiles with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. She blushes and stands near the bed. She still looks gorgeous in her wedding attire.

"Anakin, why are you looking at me that way?"

"I've got to get you out of that dress" He slowly walks towards her. She giggles."

"Don't you like my dress?"

"Yeah, sure. But you don't need it anymore. Come over here."

"No."

"I'm coming around. I'm coming around on your tail." He grabs onto the long train on her gown. She giggles nervously.

"There's no place to run. Give up."

Isabel turns. Anakin pulls the train on her gown. It detaches. She jumps on the bed gathering her dress so she does not slip. He follows her and walks around the side of the bed. "Bel, be careful. Get down before…" He catches her. They kiss. He lays her on the bed and removes her shoes. He removes the veil and the coat. He removes his jacket. The clothing is being tossed in various clumps on the floor. He slips his hands up her dress. More fabric. He laughs. "What the f…! Bel, what the Hoth are you wearing? I'm getting lost under here! This is ridiculous."

"If you're nice, I'll tell you where all the buttons are."

"I sense a trap."

"What's your next move, Mr. Skywalker?"

"Spring the trap, Mrs. Skywalker."

"Try if you must."

"What's all this stuff under here?"

"It's tuile."

"It's too-ool much!"

"But I like my dress."

"Nice dress. Ok, I said it."

"Thank you. That was very sweet of you to say."

"I'm a sweet-talking guy."

He finally manages to unhook her dress. By the time he gets her undressed he is exhausted and falls asleep in her arms. He was grateful. All he really wanted was his wife, and here she was. It was a peaceful, quiet night with the exception of three hearts beating. It was a perfect wedding night.

'_**Long Sith's Journey Into the Night'**_

The wedding guests partied through the wee hours of the night. It was a day of forgiveness and letting go, love, a new beginning, a first kiss, friendship, a budding relationship, and a possible future wedding.

Ouisanne danced with her husband to the tune of an old wedding classic, _'The Sith In My Little Girls' Life.'_ They were the only ones on the dance floor.

Leia and Han had much to think about. They needed to take a deeper look at their future together. Her father's wedding gave her pause. This is what true love is about. She wanted to be at that place when it was her turn to walk down the aisle. She just wasn't sure she was at that place…not yet.

Obi-Wan and Aura sat in the piazza near the fountain. Aura had a revelation. She was going to dress like a lady from now on…much to the chagrin of 'Old Benji' who thought she was perfect just as she was.

Luke was flattered to have two of the prettiest Jedi girls vying for his attention. He liked them both but the _'spitfire redheaded, green-eyed she-devil' _had 'Blondie's heart. He saw her when she was at her most vulnerable state that day in the cafeteria and realized she wasn't so tough after all.

Two Force-Ghosts had sobered up enough to kick-start their bickering.

'_You leave!'_

'_I was here first. You leave'_

'_Pig!'_

'_Snob'_

'_Hippie!'_

'_You've got a cute ass. Want to make out some more?'_

'_Bite me'_

'_Aayla, I love it when you talk dirty.'_

And an Emperor with a penchant for cyanotic-hued women, sat in his Imperial cruiser stunned. As confidant of the Emperor and mistress, she placed her soft bald head on his shoulder and delicately stroked his hand. In her free hand she held a wedding bouquet. He had no idea she was going to catch that thing! Why didn't one of those other girls trip her? Crap! Now he would never hear the end of it. This couldn't be happening to him. He needed to make an appointment to see his therapist first thing Monday morning or hire a hit man. Boba Fett wasn't doing much these days…

On board a Republic Cruiser, docked not far away, lay the official wedding bouquet that Isabel carried to the altar on her way to becoming Mrs. Anakin Skywalker.

Destination: Tatooine, to be placed on the pink and white marble monument belonging to Shmi Skywalker. It was Isabel's idea but she asked Anakin's permission first. He thought it was a splendid idea in remembrance of 'Mum.'

They would board the cruiser in the morning and make this stop en route to Endor.

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_To be continued…'Honeymoon on Endor and While the Sith's Away Skywalker Teens will Play'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**


	62. Chapter 62While the Sith's Away

_Chapter 62_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_Honeymoon on Endor and While the Sith's Away Skywalker Teens will Play'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

It was a beautiful night that ended too soon for some. Not over quick enough for others. The stragglers remained until the musicians packed up to leave.

Luke and Leia say goodnight to Beru and Owen. They would see them for brunch at the house Sunday morning. Anakin set the couple up at the Hotel near the Piazza Aquaris. Beru enjoyed the four-star service. Owen thought it was ostentatious and a big waste of money but both were thankful that Anakin thought about their comfort during a hectic week. Beru reminded Owen that it was a lovely gesture on Anakin's part.

Owen was more annoyed that they would be around for awhile. The only attendants managing the moisture farm were the droids and they were all congregated in the garage area playing sabacc. A few of the other droids were enjoying an oil bath party. This is something Owen dreaded would happen.

Sunday morning. The servants were scurrying to prep the terrace breakfast table. Luke slept soundly after a busy and joyous day. R2D2 was looking over the terrace. A ship was heading into the docking bay. He noticed the Tatooine license plates. He starts to beep frantically. CP3O hurries out to see what the fuss is all about. They watch the ship disappear inside the bay.

"Well, Artoo, this is where the fun begins. Heheheh!"

Artoo chirps something back to Threepio.

"Well, of course they won't like it. It's their lot to suffer in life. I'll answer the door"

Pretending to sound surprised. "Why, it's Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen! I am See-Threepio, human-cyborg relations, and this is my counterpart, Artoo-Detoo."

"Shut up, I know full well who you are. Stop doing that every time we meet, it's bloody annoying."

A gruff Owen walks through the door.

"Hello, Threepio. Don't mind him. After all these years, he still refuses to ask directions and gets us lost."

"Madame Beru, It's so good to see you back at the house. If I didn't get a chance to say so, you looked absolutely lovely yesterday."

"Thank you, Threepio. You're very sweet. Are the children awake?"

"No…"

Uncle Owen barks at the idea of the twins still in bed. "At this time of the morning? They should be up by now. Don't they have chores to do? I'm telling you, Anakin spoils them."

"Owen, relax. It's nine o'clock on a Sunday morning. Besides, yesterday was a big day. They deserve to rest."

Luke wakes up with a foreboding groan and yawns. He gets out of bed. He shuffles out of his room and knocks on Leia's bedroom door. She Force speaks to him.

"_I'm not in the mood, Luke."_

He let's himself in and a smile creeps over his face. "They're heeere…"

"I know. Why are you gloating?"

"I'm not gloating. Oh, tell Han he can come out now."

"He's not in here. He's in the guest room. No remarks from you. Where's 'Leather Barbie?'"

"Who? Oh, she's home. Where else would she be?"

"I guest we'd better get out there. He'll probably ask us if we've finished our chores."

Luke jokes. "Hey, Uncle Owen, I've got your chores right here."

Leia giggles as she rests against her pillow. Suddenly they hear Aunt Beru's voice at the foot of the steps.

"Oh, Luke?Luke!"

Leia cracks up laughing. She imitates Beru in a whisper._ "Luke. Luke. Luke_" The twins giggle.

"Leia? Leia? Are you kids up yet?"

Luke covers his mouth. Leia points to him. "She called you first. Get out there, Luke."

The doorbell rings. Beru turns to answer it. She tells the servants not to worry about getting the door.

She opens the door. Owen joins her.

"Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Lars. I'm Han Solo. We met at the wedding last night."

Owen sizes him up. "Yes, I remember you. You're that no account scruffy wiseass my niece thinks so much of these days. It's a bit early for a social call. What can I do for you?"

"Actually, I have been invited for Sunday brunch, Sir."

"I see. Well, the children aren't up yet. You'll have to wait…"

"Uncle Owen. He can come in." Leia has thrown on some clothes so she could rescue Han from Owen. She realizes Anakin treats Han like a king compared to Uncle Owen. "Han, have a seat. I'll be out soon."

"Thank you, _Miss Leia_. I'd be much obliged." He takes a seat on the sofa.

Owen grabs a copy of the Coruscant Sunday Times from the coffee table and sits in the arm chair facing Han. Han's collar is sticking up. He also has a tuft of hair sticking up on his head like a cowlick.

"Did you just roll out of bed?"

Actually, Han did _'roll' _out of bed. He slipped out of the guestroom window to the balcony adjoining the other rooms until he makes it to jumping distance to the parking bay using his trusty bullwhip.

Han squints. "What?" Owen points to his collar. Han adjusts it. "So, how's the crop dusting business?"

"You know anything about farming?"

"Yeah…well…no...But most of the farms I've seen actually have something green growing on them. So, you just got here, eh?"

"So, what exactly is it that you do, Mr. Solo?"

"Is Mr. Skywalker still here? I thought I cleared that up with him…"

Suddenly Beru walks over and serves Han a cup of Jawa. "Here you go, Han. Brunch will be served as soon as the children come down."

"Thank you, Mrs. Lars."

After several minutes Leia returns to rescue Han from the "Sand Man."

"Good morning. Welcome, Uncle Owen, Beru." They exchange hugs. She sits next to Han.

Beru is smiling. She looks towards the stairs. "Leia, where is Luke?"

"He's getting dressed."

"Shall I go up and tell him we're waiting."

"No, I think we should start. He will be here."

Luke was on a COM link with Mara. "Hey, Mar, where are you?...You're coming over, right? Okay. See you in a few minutes.

As the Owen, Beru, Leia and Han head out to the terrace, Han whispers to Leia. "What's the deal with Farmer Brown and the missus?"

"Bear with them. It's only for the day."

'_**Honeymoon Suite and not a Skywalker kid in sight…Not Quite'**_

Anakin and Isabel departed for Tatooine early. Isabel sleeps during the trip. She was exhausted from the wedding festivities and _'Junior'_ was not cooperating. She was feeling great all week. She didn't want this to ruin her honeymoon. Anakin lets the pilot fly the craft while he checks on Isabel. He wanted to fly the craft himself but then that wouldn't be very romantic according to Leia.

"Hey, faker, you feeling okay?"

"Can't you wait 24 hours into our marriage before tormenting me?"

"Fine. You have five minutes. We'll be landing in an hour. You up to this?"

"I want to go with you. I'll be ok."

After an hour they land on Tatooine. Isabel is feeling somewhat better. The sleep was a good idea. She joins Anakin and the pilot half an hour before landing. She is refreshed and wearing a dark blue chiffon cloak over her clothes. She is helped from the cruiser by the pilot.

There is a soft breeze blowing. Shmi's resting place is inside a crypt to protect it from the elements. Anakin had the monument built with credits he made after turning to the Dark side. It was the first real money he had ever made. It was beautiful. He asked Owen and Beru to keep plants in the windows that could withstand to extreme heat and winds. An aquifer channeled water inside to a fountain. It was beautiful. Isabel stood at Anakin's side and places the beautiful white orchids and freesia on a flower pedestal. Anakin speaks.

"Hello, Mum. I would like to introduce you to Isabel. We got married yesterday. I wish you could have been there. She's amazing, you would like her. Isabel thought it would be a good idea to leave her wedding flowers with you. This way you would be party of our celebration. We have another surprise. You're going to be a grandmother for the third time. It's a boy. We'll bring him by when he arrives. Master Yoda believes he's going to be a handful. Just like his dad. I couldn't be prouder. I love you."

They remain for about an hour as Anakin gives her a 'tour'. It is a peaceful and beautiful place. It was his sanctuary during the bad times. He would occasionally make a detour on one of his Imperial missions to come here. The emperor knew better than to question him.

They return to the ship and continue in to Endor. Isabel joins Anakin at the controls. She watches as he pilots the final leg of the flight to Endor. They arrive in time to enjoy the afternoon sunlight.

The porter delivers their luggage to the villa. It has been an exhausting morning. A relaxing bath is what they wanted right now. Isabel draws the bath. She lights candles. The tub is filled with rose petals. Anakin walks in and laughs.

"How romantic. You expect me to get in the tub with all this crap?" He realizes he should not have said this. He tries to rephrase his question. "Oh, Isabel, this is lovely. You ready for me to join you?"

"Don't patronize me."

"Aw, honey, I was only joking. It's nice. Really." He grins and folds his arms as she prepares the 'Love Tub.' He leans against the door watching her. When she is done, she looks up at him. Her hair is pinned away from her face so she can create her romantic masterpiece. Anakin thought she looked so beautiful as she moved around the room in her white silk robe. Anakin was in his dark blue robe. He had a white terry bathrobe hanging in the closet but he thought it was too bulky. He still had an affinity for the darker colors. Watching Isabel was sort of amusing.

"Need any help?"

"No. I don't want to disturb your inactivity. Looks like you're working hard at it."

"I'm supervising. Anyway, you're the creative one. I'm just the handsome stud waiting for my cue."

"I'm finished." She looks at him as she sits on the edge of the tub. "So, is that a lightsaber under your robe or are you just happy to see me?"

He nods in the affirmative as he slowly approaches the tub. He keeps his eyes on her as he moves closer.

"Oh, it's a lightsaber."

"I was expecting someone with your reputation to be a little bigger. Your 'lightsaber' will make a fine addition to my collection."

"Collection? Hmmmm…Why, Mrs. Skywalker, you little minx. I thought you'd be more of a lady. Clearly, I was mistaken. Such thoughts in that pretty head of yours. I'm going to have to teach you a lesson."

Anakin reaches for something. She giggles and scoots backward on the ledge of the tub as he walks towards her. A candle slips into the water. Her robe slips off her shoulder as she slides backward again on the tub ledge. Anakin is now at the side of the tub. He removes the clip from her hair. Isabel pleads to him in a timid voice. "Be gentle"

"Get in the tub, woman."

Meanwhile, at the Skywalker house brunch was not that much fun, except for the occasional quip from Han at Owen's expense. Leia has to take him aside for a minute.

"Han, you're going to have to lighten up. Owen's not going to change."

"Oh, 'Mr. Personality' can't take a joke?"

"No. He can't"

Mara stops by to see Luke. Owen questions her. Owen had not expected this.

"Are we expecting anymore guests? Shall I leave the door open for the 'Open House'?"

Leia chimes in. My father said we could invite anyone we wanted for brunch. It's a family tradition."

"Humph. You kids have him wrapped around you finger, don't you?"

"Daddy loves us. He cares about our happiness."

"Oh, yes, I forgot, you're the one with a lot to say. No wonder you hang out with that smuggler."

Luke greets Mara. "Mara, I'm so glad you could make it. Come in. We've just started."

He brings her to the table.

"Good morning everyone."

Leia smiles "Hi, Mara. Good to see you."

Owen seems to be annoyed at everything he sees this morning. He doesn't like that the twins get out of bed late on the weekends. Beru is more forgiving and understanding. Several minutes pass before things get lively. It has not been an hour and already tempers are brewing. Beru tries to keep things calm.

"So, how is everyone recovering from this busy weekend?"

Luke responds. "We're ok, Aunt, Beru. Mara and I are going to the Cineplex. How's your visit so far?"

"This is a lovely change. Owen is worried about the harvest. I told him it would be good to get away for awhile."

Han rolls his eyes and mouths _'Harvest? What harvest?' _Leia sees his face and smiles.

Mara speaks to Beru. "So, where are you going tomorrow?"

Beru looks at the opposite end of the table at Owen. His eyes dart around the room as he finishes chewing his food. Leia is about to sip her fruit juice. She looks at Owen then turns to Beru. Beru decides to speak.

"Leia, didn't your father tell you? We're staying until your father and Isabel return from their honeymoon. I thought you knew."

Leia coughs and places her glass down. Han pats her on the back. Luke is stunned. His mouth drops. Leia recovers. She is outraged.

"What?"

Owen answers in a smug tone. "It's time we get some order in this house. You father isn't doing it. You kids need discipline. No more of this staying out late nonsense or hanging out wasting time with your friends. You're going to know what it is to do real work."

Han whispers to Leia. "You get to be a field hand, Leia. Picking crops for 'Massa Owen'. You kids are screwed.

Owen looks across the table with a scowl on his face..

"You have something to say, Mr. Solo?"

"Ah, No sir, not me."

Owen barks to Luke. "Luke, pick your mouth up off the floor. I want that docking bay cleaned up. I saw lots of oil spots on the floor when we arrived this morning."

Aunt Beru watches Luke leave the table. Mara follows. "Where are you going?

"It looks like I'm going nowhere. I have to clean the docking bay."

C3PO looks down at Artoo as the droids listen in from the doorway.

"Artoo, we're doomed."

Han hangs around long enough to let Leia use him as her sounding board. She is mad as hell.

"I can't believe my father. How could he do this?"

"Are you sure your father is behind this or just a couple of bored farmers?"

"I don't know. Han, want to hang around for a few days?"

"I thought we agreed to cool it for awhile."

"Yes, but we're still friends. Don't leave me with them."

"You want me to hang around with 'Ma and Pa Kettle' in the house? Thanks but no, thanks. Call me if you find a way to get rid of them."

"Ok."

Back at the Honeymoon villa Anakin is in the tub squeezing shampoo from the bottle he picked up from the counter. Isabel rests he her back against his chest. He washes her hair. Isabel lifts her arm to watch the rose petals cling to her skin. Anakin is laughing.

"Anakin, what's so funny?"

"Luke and Leia."

"I still think what you did was terrible."

"They can't be trusted. You know how they are."

"I know, but did you have to torture them this way? They'll never forget this. You know it's going to come back and bite you in the ass."

"You let me worry about that." He kisses her hand. "Tilt your head back."

He squeezes the soap from her hair then takes the spray nozzle and rinses her hair. "Too warm?"

"No, it's perfect. Thanks."

"So how does this work? The rose petals go down the drain?"

"No, you place a strainer over the drain and it catches everything."

"That's B.S."

"It's true."

"When did you do this before?"

"I haven't, but it makes sense."

"It makes no sense at all. But I don't care about the stupid flowers. I love you." He kisses her. They relax in the tub for a short time after then rinse off. Anakin is covered with rose petals. He uses the spray nozzle to rinse them off. "Isabel, this stuff is worse than sand. Promise me you won't do this again."

"Fine. I promise." She giggles as he stands in the tub rinsing the red petals off his skin.

"Go on, Laugh now. I'll deal with you in a few minutes."

After a long day of travel, Anakin and Isabel decide to go to bed early. Anakin slips into bed. He is exhausted. Isabel is already asleep.

Owen sets a curfew at the Skywalker home. The twins had to be home by eight o'clock. Leia purposely waited in the docking bay one minute before walking in at 8:02p.m. Owen looks at the clock on the wall.

"Luke was already home, young lady. Have you lost your timekeeper?"

"I make a habit of not carrying one. I'm a free spirit."

"Now while your aunt and I are here, you're not."

Leia was so angry, she was on the verge of saying something mean that she would soon regret, such as, _'You're not really a relative so leave me the hell alone.' _But she held her tongue. It's going to be a long three weeks.

Luke was already in his room. He was on the com with Mara.

"I'm a prisoner in my own home. I can't believe my dad would do this to us."

"Well, Luke. When he returns have a talk with him. Tell him you're not a baby and you can be trusted."

"I think that's the sticking point. He doesn't trust us after the last stunt we pulled on the space station."

"Oh, I heard about that. The pizza stunt was hilarious. I wish I had been part of that."

There is silence.

"Luke? Luke, are you still there?"

"Mara, I have a great idea but I need your help."

"Will this get me grounded again? My dad is still pissed off about the plasma ballgame incident."

"It might."

"Fine. I'm in."

"Listen, I got to go. I'm not due back interning until by Dad returns in three weeks but I can meet you in the commissary."

"Cool. See you then, Lu-Lu."

"Bye."

'_Things That Go Bump In The Night'_

Monday morning at the Skywalker house. Luke and Leia each have a day off from Jedi training and the senate. This is a day they both would prefer to be on their regular schedule. At least they would be out of the house. Leia intends to give her father a piece of her mind as soon as he returns from his adventures in paradise.

At the honeymoon palace, Anakin has gotten out of bed to visit the refresher. He is returning to the bedroom when he notices a few residual rose petals on his back as he passes by the full length mirror. He reaches behind him and brushes them away. He slips back under the blankets and pulls Isabel close to him. He smiles and lifts the blanket. He kisses her in an attempt to wake her.

"Bel?"

"What is it? I'm really tired. Not now."

"Bel, have you seen yourself since last night?"

"Why?" She feels his hand on her. He kisses her belly.

"You have a little bump. He's grown since last night."

"Oh, dear. I'm a whale!"

"I think it's beautiful."

"I need new clothes."

"Listen, Missy, this isn't all about you. What about me? I have to be seen with you."

Isabel whacks him in the face with a pillow. He laughs. "I love you."

"Don't look at me."

"But I must. This is a happy moment."

He lets her go back to sleep. He looks in her tote bag and finds a book. He slips back into bed with her and reads as he caresses the 'little bump' that appeared during the night.

It was a real page turner: _'What to Expect When You're Expecting a Little Sith or Jedi'_

At the Skywalker home.

Aunt Beru calls Luke for breakfast. There is no answer. She decides to look for him. C3PO volunteers to go find him. Luke is taking a shower. He sees a shadowy figure through the glass as he rinses the soap from his face. The door opens. He screams and tries to cover himself.

"Oh, Luke, there you are..."

"Aunt Beru! I'm taking a shower!"

"I wanted to call you down for breakfast. It's getting cold. You didn't answer."

"I would have if you gave me a chance. Would you please close the door?"

Luke wants to die. The old woman saw him in the buff

"Oh, Luke, why so modest? I used to change your diapers and take your temperature when you were a baby."

This was too much information...Information that Luke would prefer to forget.

"But I'm not a baby anymore…Aunt Beru, the door…please?"

"Oh, yes. Of course, Honey." She forgets she is still holding open the door. She releases it.

Luke couldn't look Aunt Beru in the eye for a week. She, in turn, is oblivious to the entire incident. When he tells Leia, she almost falls on the floor laughing. Leia, in turn tells Mara and Han. Han would have ammo to taunt Luke with in the future. Mara thinks it is cute in a bizarre way. In fact, she thinks it's hilarious.

"Lu-Lu, your aunt gets to see your bits and pieces and not me? I never got to see your little pink bottom."

"And you never will with that attitude."

"Oh, you mean there's still a chance?"

"Mara, what's wrong with you? I thought we were friends."

"We are. But you're funny without meaning to be."

"You witch!"

"Pinky."

"I hate you."

Luke spent the afternoon buffing the docking bay floor. It was a waste of time but at least he didn't have to listen to fussy old curmudgeon Uncle Owen. If he played his cards right, his problems could be gone before the three weeks is up. For now, he had to be patient and everyone knows, patience is not a strong Skywalker trait.

"It just isn't fair. Oh, Biggs is right. I'm never going to get out of here!"

"Is there anything I might do to help?"

Luke glances at the droid. A bit of his anger drains and a tiny smile creeps across his face. He has an idea.

"Well, not unless you can alter time, speed up the harvest, or teleport Owen off this rock! Beru can hang out. She never bothers me as long as Uncle Owen's not around riding my ass."

"I don't think so, sir. I'm only a droid and not very knowledgeable about such things. Not on this planet, anyways. As a matter of fact, I'm not even sure which planet I'm on."

"Well, if there's a bright center to the universe, they're from the planet that it's farthest from. Threepio, I'm just joking! I don't want you to teleport anyone. I just wish Uncle Owen would lighten up. Hey…you want to go on an adventure with us?"

"With your Aunt and Uncle?"

"No! Pay attention. Just you, me, Artoo, Leia, and a few friends."

"Will it result in me being melted down and sold as scrap metal?"

"No, Threepio, nothing like that. You'll enjoy this. It's fun."

"Oh, I have a bad feeling about this."

"Trust me, Threepio. You'll have a good time."

Luke thought he was a genius to think up his new scheme. He would be a hero.

_To be continued…'Sending Ma &Pa Kettle back to Tatooine'_


	63. Chapter 63Sending Ma & Pa Lars Back

_Chapter 63_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Sending Ma &Pa Lars Back to Tatooine'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

The honeymoon on Endor was going beautifully except that Anakin was still finding rose petals between folds of skin on his body the rest of the day. Aside from this little inconvenience, he spent that day on the balcony reading the book as Isabel lay sleeping in bed.

By Tuesday Isabel was up and ready to enjoy her honeymoon. They take a mountain tour. When they return, they visit the local gift shop and write a holocard to the twins. That evening they enjoy a romantic candlelit dinner at a nearby restaurant overlooking a lake.

Isabel inquires about the fabled Ewoks of the forest to their personal guide. They have been on Endor a few days now and not one Ewok in sight. All Isabel knew about Ewoks was that people in her neighborhood decorated their lawns with the life-sized figures of the critters. Her home was not one of them. Some people thought they made for tasty eating. Ewok-hunting season was fast approaching. Isabel was not interested in this. Anakin, on the other hand, thought it was absolutely hilarious.

By Tuesday, on Coruscant, the twins are back on their regular schedule. Leia returns to the Galactic Senate and Luke in his last weeks of Jedi Training. Trials are in a few weeks. The Jedi council set Anakin a letter that Luke will graduate on schedule with honors. Amazing, since the boy had gotten into so much trouble and was still able to complete his assignments.

Becoming a Jedi knight was more of a rite of passage than anything else was. The Empire had wiped out any lethal threat to the galaxy. The Galactic Senate and Rebel Alliance were gaining more strength and increased support from the public. The Empire was forced to make concessions in order to maintain peace.

Any existing threat lay in wild space and the Jedi council made a pact with the Empire that they would not get involved in any skirmishes in those regions. It would be foolish to send Jedi into danger for no reason. Anakin is glad that the Empire, Senate, and Jedi Council have reached an agreement to end these fruitless deployments. This meant Luke would not be required to go on any mission not approved by the Council and Senate.

On Wednesday, Luke wants to try out his new speeder bike but at the rate he was going with Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen in the house, he feared he would never get the chance. Perhaps if he finished his _'chores'_, Grumpy old Uncle Owen would allow him some free time to ride his bike. Owen wanted to make an example of Luke in front of the help.

Owen finds a flask on the terrace behind a planter. He had been searching the house for things to keep the twins busy. He thought it was time he and Luke had a chat.

Luke is sitting in the kitchen having a snack.

"Luke, we have to talk."

"About what, Uncle Owen?"

"This." He holds up the sterling silver flask.

"Oh, that. I've been looking for it."

"You have?"

"You know, I think that flask might be lost."

"What makes you think that?"

"It belongs to Obi-Wan Kenobi. Besides, we had it engraved for him. I stumbled across it in a shop downtown with Leia. See?"He shows Owen the engraved message on the bottom of the flask so Old Ben would think of them as he downs his last sip.

'_To Old Ben, Drink one for your Jedi Homeys!_

_Love,_

_Luke & Leia'  
_**  
**

Owen is greatly alarmed at the mention of his name, but manages to control himself. Luke explains  
**  
"**I thought it was the other flask we gave him on his Jedi pre-retirement party. It was engraved 'Old Ben'. Is that what you're talking about? Well, I can take it to him on my new speeder."_  
_  
Owen breaks loose with a fit of uncontrolled anger.

"That old man's just a crazy old wizard. Tomorrow I want you to take that flask into Anchorhead and have its recycled and melted down. That'll be the end of it. We could use the silver from it. It belongs to us now.

"Anchorhead? On Tatooine? It's his flask."

"He's an old drunk."

"But what if Obi-Wan comes looking for it?"

"He won't, I don't think he exists any more sober. He fell off the wagon about same time as your father went to the Dark side."

"He became an alcoholic because of my father? I've got to ask Ben about that. Those are some serious allegations, Uncle Owen."  
**  
**"I told you to forget it. Your only concern is to prepare the droids for tomorrow. In the morning I want them on the south ridge working out those condensers. They're a couple of lay-abouts just like you and your sister. Your father doesn't have anyone doing work around here, does he?"

"No, sir. Those droids are working just fine. They do tons of stuff for us. In fact, I, uh, was also thinking about our agreement about my staying cooped up in the house all week. And if Leia and I finish all of the _"chores" _you have us doing, I could take my bike out for a run."

Owen's face becomes a scowl, although he tries to suppress it.

"You mean next week?"

"No, this week. I want to ride my bike before it's out of date."

"I need you here, Luke. Only a few more weeks. You stay around the house and learn to get your hands dirty for a change. I'm the guardian in this house for the next three weeks You do as I say.

There are plenty of chores for you and your smart mouth sister to do. And then you can go gallivanting around Coruscant City on your own time when your father comes back."

Luke continues to toy with his food, not looking at his uncle.

"You must understand I need you here, Luke. You need discipline. Hard work builds character."

"But it's a whole three weeks away."

"Look, it's only three more weeks. Your Aunt Beru and I will be back home on the range...uhm…. I mean farm. You can go back to your old slacker ways."

Luke pushes his half-eaten plate of food aside and stands.

"Yeah, that's what you said on Sunday when Mara and Han left."

"Don't sass me, boy. You're not too old for me to put a switch to your ass,"

Life with Uncle Owen is unbearable. Three weeks would be too cruel. It would be tantamount to child abuse! Luke did something he knew he wasn't supposed to do.

"Dad?"

'_**Person to Person Call on Ma Bel'**_

What he heard on the other end was not good. Anakin was in the throes of passion when the emergency light on Anakin's mobile phone lights up. Anakin snatches the mobile from the night stand. Luke felt the voice of Darth Vader was creeping over the line.

"Luke you have just underestimated the power of the Darkside. This had better be good."

"I'm sorry, Dad but this is important."

"What I was doing was more important. I swear, if you are up to any shenanigans…"

"Dad., you've got to send Uncle Owen home. He's torturing me and Leia, He's got the droids sending instructions down to Tatooine to his farm droids working on the condensers, and I haven't ridden my speeder bike yet…Oh, and Obi-Wan left his flask here. Owen wants to melt it down for cash."

Leia is on the other line in her room. "Help us, Daddy; you're our only hope to get us out of this nightmare."

Anakin is now sitting on the side of the bed. He releases a heavy sigh. Isabel strokes his back with her feet as she lies in bed. He gently pushes her feet away and rubs his head. He listens to the whining twins. He is annoyed.

"You've got to be kidding me with this nonsense. And if you are, I'll show you a real nightmare."

"Dad, what were you thinking when you sent them here?"

Leia is near tears. "Daddy, he has us doing manual labor. I had to fold his newspapers and set them in the recycling bin. I broke two nails. He said that he was going to sell my toy Ewok collection because there were children around the galaxy who were too poor to afford one and I had plenty. He told us we were rich, self-absorbed, spoiled brats and we never had to struggle. The only one we like torturing us is you."

Luke chimes in on the other line. "Dad, if I hear that line about how he had to walk to school in sandstorms with no shoes, I'll slash my wrists with my lightsaber!"

Anakin is covering the speaker end of the mobile com. He is giggling. He begins to speak as they pour out their little teenage Jedi hearts to him.

"Listen, it can't be all that bad. You two have a tendency to exaggerate. You know that, don't you?"

"But, Daddy…he said he was going to make us learn the value of money because you spoil us. He says that you're a disaster as a father and he hopes we're the last of your demon spawn. He says Grandmother Shmi didn't raise you right because she was a single mother and she gave you to the Jedi without question..."

"He said what?"

"That you're a disast…"

"No, not that part. The other part."

"Demon spawn?"

"No. The other part."

"Oh…ah... Oooooh"

"Did he actually say that? And don't _lie_ to me."

"Honest, Dad. He said it."

"What did you say to him when he said that?" Anakin was pissed. Shmi was kind to Owen when she married Owen's father. She treated Owen like a son. How could he turn on her like that?

"You told us not to disrespect them because they were adults…"

"And if I never told you that, what would you do?"

"Well, we didn't want to get them in trouble…"

"Well, I think it's high time they returned to Tatooine, don't you?"

"I suppose."

"I'm just joking. Looks like you're stuck with Owen until we get back. Listen, I've got to go. You kids behave, okay?"

"Okay, Dad."

"Leia, that goes for you too."

"What?" You're just going to leave us with him? Aren't you going to do anything to him?"

"Leia, I am on my honeymoon. Don't make me have to leave Endor before it's over. You know what I expect from you. I'm counting on you to make a good impression while we're away. Understood?"

"Not even a choke?"

"Leia, I'm surprised at you. Do you think that I would snap off the handle and do something so rash? I can control my temper. When did I last choke someone?"

"You choked Ha…."

Anakin interrupts.

"…In the last three days."

"Oh, well, no one that I know of."

"Just be the kids I've always been proud of. Understood?"

"Yes, Daddy."

"Okay, sweet pea. I love you both."

"We love you too, Daddy."

"Got to go."

"Bye."

Anakin ends the call. He turns to Isabel and smiles.

"Those kids."

"What's going on?"

"They're whining about Owen."

"Is it bad?"

"Well, he went a few steps further than I expected. He's pissing them off."

"Will they be alright?"

"They'll be fine. I sense something...a presence I haven't felt since...…never mind. So, where were we?"

"If you don't remember, I'm not telling you."

"I remember; but I'll have to start from the beginning." He leans over and kisses her. He blocks out anything having to do with Owen and the twins. He had more pressing matters to tend to. He was on his honeymoon and needed to get back on track. He had to consummate his marriage.

Back home, Luke and Leia hang up the comlink. They are still not satisfied. Luke goes to Leia's room and closes the door.

"Dad's leaving us out to fry."

"What do we do now, Luke?"

"We need to call in rein_force_ments."

Their other plans are dashed when Mara calls to tell Luke she is in for the night because she had to baby-sit for her 12 year old brother while her parents when to a concert at the Imperial Music Hall. This made way for plan 'B'. He had no trouble getting plan 'B' rolling as he had a willing participant.

That night, Owen surveys the house before retiring for the evening. Beru is in a separate bed in the guestroom. Owen heads for the bedroom but starts to turn out the living room light.

A voice speaks.

'_If you build it, he will come.'_

"Who said that?"

'_I did, Owen.'_

"Who are you?"

'_I'm the Ghost of farmer past.'_

"Wait a sec…who is this?" He mutters to himself. "I bet it's those freaky kids again."

'_Admit it, Owen, you've never liked farming.' _

"That's not true. I love farming. I'm a good farmer."

'It is true. You don't know the first thing about farming. You never make a profit. You're miserable and you have poor social skills.'

"Yes I do. I know a lot about farming. I know more than you think I know. Who are you?"

'_I'm your farm, Owen. I don't get belligerent with me. I demand respect.'_

From the bedroom Beru calls out to him.

"Owen, what are you doing? Who are you speaking to? I told you not to argue with the children."

"It's okay, honey. I... I was just talking to the farm. "

"You bought the farm?"

"No, I think the droids are reporting to me about the farm. Beru, go to bed. I'll be in soon."

Beru closes the bedroom door and goes back to bed. Owen looks up at the ceiling. He then spins around looking for the source of the voice. He looks in the closets and under the dining table.

When Owen looks up, he almost has a coronary. The specter of Qui-Gon appears wearing a straw hat and clenching a sprig of hay between his teeth. He is sitting in Anakin's favorite armchair near the window.

'_Howdy, partner.'_

Owen holds his hand to his chest.

"Holy Jabba the Hutt…you're a ghost!"

Qui-Gon utters a bored:_ 'Boo.'_

"Why have you come to torment me, you unholy being?"

'_We need to talk, Owen.'_

"About what? Why have you come to this house? Have you come to steal the soul of an unholy child of the sith? There are two of them in the bedrooms down the hall. They are the devil's children they are, especially the girl. I could have sworn I have seen her turn her head around 180 degrees."

'_My interest is not with them, Owen. I am here for you.'_

"Why me? I live a good, clean life. Me and Beru are good people. Don't take her, please."

'_I'm not interested in 'Richie Cunningham's mom.' I have come for you, Owen. You have a mission.'_

"I…I don't understand."

"_Who's minding the farm while you're up here, Ow-en? You need to get back to your farm. All hell is breaking loose down there."_

"What are you looking at?"

'_You, you old fool. Why are you tormenting your stepbrother's children? What have they ever done to you?'_

"They're spoiled brats! Trouble makers they are. Thank the gods he only has the two."

Qui-Gon continues to chew on the sprig of hay. He is smiling as if he has a secret. Owen defies the annoying specter.

"What are you grinning at, you ghost?"

'_You. Aren't you scared?'_

"You don't exist. I'm dreaming. It's been a long day."

'_You're an old hard ass, aren't you?'_

"And you're a crazy old ghost."

'_And you're a Jedi-hating judgmental old fool. Anakin helped you keep your dust bowl farm. I'm just wondering how you get farm subsidies from the Empire when no one knows what you produce.'_

"I'm a moisture farmer."

'_So you raise rain? You do some sort of hippity-hoppity dance in the hot sand hoping for a cloud to burst? That ain't farming. You got to have crops, man.'_

"What are crops?"

'_What a scam you've got going. What agricultural school did you attend?'_

"It was a Mos Eisley correspondence course." Owen says proudly.

'_Was there a shortage of gainfully employed men on Tatooine? Beru must have been living under a rock to fall for whatever sad pick-up line you threw at her.'_

"We do just fine."

'_So what's the deal with the twin beds? You still living in the Stone Age 'I Love Lucy' crap? No wonder you and Beru never had kids of your own.'_

"You keep Beru out of this."

'_You two youngsters ever get wild and go out to dinner instead of sitting home eating that cabbage stew or whatever you have cooking in that pressure cooker Beru's so fond of?'_

"What sort of ghost are you? You ask a lot of inappropriate questions."

"Who's asking inappropriate questions? Owen? Owen?"

Beru looks at her husband. Owen's eyes are fixed on the empty armchair. She gently taps her husband.

"Owen, dear, you've been talking to yourself again. Let's go to bed."

"But…the farm…I've got to make the doughnuts…I've got to make the farm profitable…Beru, we've got to go home. The farm is calling us home."

"But the twins… Anakin will be disappointed. We promised to take care of them. They're so young and innocent. They need someone to keep them safe, poor babies."

"They'll be just fine. Any sane person would think twice before agreeing to take care of those little monkeys."

"Owen, we can't leave them. They'll never survive."

Owen makes a drastic decision. Anakin gets the call first thing in the morning.

"Anakin, I know we promised but, I've got a farm that needs tending too. I'm sorry."

"I understand. Apology accepted. No hard feelings, Owen. I appreciate the few days you were able to help out."

"Beru will break the news to the twins."

"Thanks. They'll be heartbroken to see you go."

The next morning Beru sits Luke and Leia down after breakfast.

"So, children, it's been so nice to be here with you. We're so sorry to leave you like this. Leia, don't cry. We'll visit soon. Give your Aunt Beru a hug. You dear, sweet girl."

Leia pretends to be broken up about the early departure of Beru and Owen. Owen lets Beru give her a hug. Leia looks over Beru's shoulder at Luke who averts his eyes and tries not to laugh. Threepio is standing beside Luke posing like an Oscar statue. Luke force-speaks to her. _'Speech! Speech! You like me, you really like me. Great performance, Sis.'_

'_Shut up, Luke'_

Beru calls Luke.

"Luke…Luke, come give your Aunt Beru a hug."

"Oh, Aunt Beru, I hate to see you go…oh, you too, Uncle Owen."

Beru has some comforting words for the children.

"Now you two be good. I know you miss your father and this house is so big. You must be so sad. If things get difficult, you call me, okay? Leave a message on my machine. If I have time, I'll call you back."

"Okay, Aunt Beru. I love you."

Owen points his finger at Luke. "You kids remember; a little hard work never hurt anyone."

"Yes, Uncle Owen."

"What does work do?"

Luke and Leia chant in unison. "It builds character."

"Good, you remembered. I'm glad something stuck underneath that blond mop of yours."

Beru and Owen are leaving.

Luke and Leia walk Owen and Beru to the docking bay to see them off. The kids return to the house and slap high-fives with each other.

Leia collapses happily in the sofa.

"Thank Heavens, that's over. I though we'd never get rid of them. Free at last! Let's have a party tonight. We can invite a bunch of people."

The doorbell rings. Luke heads for the door.

"It's probably Mara. He swings open the door happily. "Hey! Ma...Mrs. Jensen? How are you? What brings you here. Dad's on his honeymoon."

"Oh, I know that, dear. He sent me. I'm your new babysitter. I'll be here for a few days."

"You are?"

Leia's mouth drops. _'This cannot be happening.' _She speaks to Gladys.

"You will?"

Threepio takes her overnight bag.

"Good morning, Madame, Gladys. It's so good to see you. I will take your bag to the guest room while you get comfortable."

"Thank you, Threepio. You're very sweet."

Leia mumbles under her breath. "So this is where the fun stops."

That evening the kids, Gladys, and Threepio sit down for a game of bridge. Luke and Leia want to cry.

Threepio is winning his hand. "What a lovely evening this is, Miss Gladys. I'm having a delightful time. I wonder who's going to watch after you kids next week."

Artoo begins to chirp to Threepio. Threepio whispers back to him.

"Oh, really, Artoo? They're going to be thrilled…._Not_! Hahahahhahahaha!"

Back on Endor, Anakin is sound asleep with a big smile on his face. Honeymoon sex is a beautiful thing…especially when you turn off your mobile phone. He thinks to himself. 'Rein_force_ments, I've got more Rein_force_ments than anyone. I'm your father, damn it! Crazy kids.'

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_To be continued… 'I'm Full of Surprises'_


	64. Chapter 64 It Walked Into Our House

_Chapter 64_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_It Walked Into Our House'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

After Owen and Beru's departure, Gladys wasn't so bad. She actually let Luke ride his speed bike. Leia had a date with Han but cancelled telling him she was going to stay home to learn how to crochet. Han was in shock. He got ditched for a knitting circle? What's next, a quilting bee with the 'Daughters of the Galactic Revolution?'

She decided to make a pair of booties for her unborn baby brother. Gladys was also great to talk to and a good listener. The woman knew exactly what to say when it came to affairs of the heart. She told Leia to take her time with love. True love will show itself and she would know it when it happens.

Leia felt a guilty about the 'finger breaking threat' incident months earlier. She would never do such a horrible thing to Gladys. Leia had her father's temper but she was working on it. She didn't want to wind up in a father-daughter anger management class. Now that would be embarrassing! Anakin told her to leave the angry outbursts to him. He already held the reputation as the scary _'Dark Lord of the Sith.' _He didn't need the competition from his own daughter. Besides, he was becoming quite fond of his Imperial Anger Management Achievement certificates posted outside his office door. He even liked the little pit-bull sticker Leia placed on the corner of each plaque. Yes, his serious daughter had a sense of humor, even if it was at his expense!

Leia found crocheting with Gladys fun. She makes a lot of mistakes in the process, and the bootie was forming into a mangled lumpy circle, but the older woman was patient with Leia and let her try it again. Gladys was busy making her own little gift for the new Skywalker baby.

It was a secret Anakin divulged to no one outside the immediate family. Of course the four ghosts, Yoda and Obi-Wan knew and that dastardly Emperor. Anakin was keeping a close eye on that old buzzard. Gladys was the exception. Gladys was loyal to Anakin and would never tell anyone, not even her dear husband Uli to whom she told everything.

Leia had always hoped her father and Isabel would get married. Ever since she was a little girl, she imagined having a baby brother or sister and pushing him or her in a baby stroller. All her friends would be jealous because, while they were pushing around toy strollers and baby carriages with dolls or droid dolls, Leia would have the 'real' thing! She was angry with her father for a long time for causing Isabel's sudden departure. Now, over ten years later, she would get her wish. She would love to baby-sit and push _'demon child'_ number three around town.

After the fifth attempt, Leia's bootie was starting to look like what it was intended to be. Gladys gives Leia a warm hug and checks on Artoo's creation. Threepio was becoming annoyed.

"Artoo, I can barely see. This can't possibly be a baby bonnet, it's too big. It looks more like a ski cap without places for the eyes or… (Artoo instructs Threepio to pull the creation down until it covers his entire face) …' _moth' Auu, ifs cufferin mu muff. Auh counf spiik'_

Artoo giggles as the protocol droid tries to talk through the yarn.

Luke has Lunch with Mara. He fills her in on the past weeks' events. She is laughing uncontrollably. Luke is not so amused.

"What's so funny?"

"You and Leia. You're hilarious. Your dad is not going to let you get away with crap while he's away."

"Owen said we were spoiled and self absorbed. Where did he ever get that idea? All I wanted to do was to ride my new bike and hang out. Why should we suffer?"

"Well, you are!"

"How could you say that?"

Mara chides Luke for being self-absorbed.

"Luke, you are!" She giggles goodheartedly when she says this. "You're really sweet and kind but you're also spoiled. You're a rich kid who gets whatever he wants."

Luke takes offense to her remarks.

"No, I don't.…not everything." He averts his eyes. He is somewhat embarrassed.

"Oh, please! You begged your dad for a speeder bike and you got it."

"Yeah! After months and months of groveling! I couldn't even ride my jet speeder. I have been grounded more than the Outer Rim Airlines. I've been on punishment more than anyone I know. My dad never gave that bike to me for nothing. He gave the speed bike to me as a wedding present from him and Isabel; I was, after all a groomsman. I wasn't expecting it.…not really."

This is true. Anakin never promised to get the bike for his son but the occasion called for it. Besides, he wasn't going to let Grandfather Ruwee get it for him. He wanted to be his son's hero. Anakin was competitive that way, but, let's face it, the whole Naberrie family, and Anakin spoiled the twins. The Skywalker twins were the darlings of the galaxy. Anyone who knew Padmé saw so much of her in the twins. Everyone in the Galactic Senate was a surrogate aunt and uncle to them.

Anakin was offended years ago when he first gained custody of the twins. Most of the senate were concerned for them because they could not imagine Anakin as a decent father. Years later, with the help of Isabel, he proved that, not only was he capable of being a good parent. He was a decent man. Who only wanted to keep his family intact. They were all he had. Two children of a former queen turned senator and an infamous father were pretty much galactic royalty.

Everyone was guilty of showering the children with gifts and affection. Anakin made certain that his children were always gracious and polite. They helped without being asked. They were never in 'trouble with the 'law', were never jailed (except at home when Anakin grounded them. That might as well have been prison). Their anti-Imperial antics were ignored because there was little to be sympathetic about when it came to the oppressive regime of Palpatine. But more important than this, the twins, with all their wealth and privilege, were no snobs. Anakin frowned upon such behaviour. He knew adversity. He would scold Leia, who could be haughty at times but this less than flattering attitude was typically reserved for the oppressive officers and governors in the Imperial Empire. Other than this, they were pretty "normal" kids with extraordinary powers.

Luke sits back in his chair in the Imperial commissary and smiles across the table at Mara.

"Ok, I admit, I'm spoiled. You've got me there."

"Maybe I'm just a little jealous. I don't hate you for it. In fact, I like you because you ever use your influence to hurt others." She looks across the cafeteria and sees Craul and his circle of reprobate friends. What a reprehensible bunch of miscreants …they ridicule others, torment the innocent, and are just plain mean. Mara felt ashamed for even bringing up the issue of Luke's station in life. She knew whose company she preferred. He would have been the same selfless person had he grown up as a simple farm boy on Tatooine.

One other thing that made Anakin proud of his two children was how they handled the most challenging moments with Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. Not once did the twins disobey or talk back. They performed every ridiculous chore Owen demanded of them. Yes, they whined to 'Dad' about it but they completed every task. They would have been within their right to stage a protest but they didn't. Anakin would have frowned on any disrespect towards Owen and Beru.

Owen could be a real load to live with but he was still an adult and deserved respect. Owen, with all his gruffness actually adored his twin step-niece and nephew. He never would have agreed to come all the way from Tatooine to take care of the 'Spawn of Satan.' if he did not care for them.

Raising Luke as an infant during that terrible time when Palpatine came into power and stole Anakin's soul was a godsend. He felt a special closeness to Luke. It truly broke his and Beru's heart when Anakin recovered enough to reclaim his son. Anakin eventually made peace with Owen and permitted Luke to visit on occasion. Owen's resentment of Anakin gradually faded over the years. He began to respect Anakin enough to know that Anakin was a good and loving father. Owen still had his opinions about child-rearing however. A lot of what he would say was a bunch of hot air. It made Anakin laugh. He knew his twins were no angels but they were still better than most. He still had his babysitter reserves ready when needed. Those two rascals were still due for another sitter or two before his return.

Mara and Luke spent the afternoon at the Cineplex to see the blockbuster sci-fi thriller "Jawas" about the invasion on a Tatooine beach resort. It was the story of the meter tall creatures that annoy beachgoers into purchasing poorly refurbished droids at unreasonable rates. The pint-sized, fast-talking hawkers of droids and droid parts terrorize the local beach community of Amity near the Dune Sea.

The haunting music when the Sandcrawler would creep up on an unsuspecting sunbather in the opening scene sent chills up Mara's spine. She grabbed onto Luke's arm and hid her face during the attack scene. Luke laughs and eats his popcorn.

The ominous line from the film was telling, _'You're gonna need a bigger dune buggy...'_

The hero of the film was Sheriff Deak Brody. He spent the summers at the sea earning extra money protecting the beaches and community.

Fixer Quint was the crusty old beachcomber. He listened in on a town meeting at the Mos Eisley High School Auditorium. He gets the attention of the town council by blasting a hole in the 'Attack of the Clones Intergalactic History Pageant' stage set.

'_Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad critter this Jawa. Not like going down to the pond and chasing bluegills and tommycocks. This jawa, swallow you whole. No shakin', no tenderizin', down you go inside that sandcrawler. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant. I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's too many captains on this island. Ten thousand credits for me by myself. For that you get the head, the cloak, the whole damn thing.'_

The scene where Fixer Quint describes the Jawas makes the entire viewing audience shudder with fear:

'_The thing about a jawa, it's got lifeless eyes, yellow eyes, like a doll's eyes. When it comes at you it doesn't seem to be livin'... until he bites you, and those yellow eyes roll over white.'_

Luke enjoyed watching Mara get scared. When the film ended, she denied ever being afraid and shoves him. He invites her to his house for a snack and to look through his music collection.

Gladys greets them at the door and treats them to freshly baked cookies and blue milk.

"Now you youngsters sit and enjoy your snack. I have some things to take care of around the house."

"Thank you, Gladys."

Mara grins as Gladys leaves them in the kitchen.

"What are you, five?"

"Gladys is a sweet lady. She loves us."

"Relax, I'm teasing. Lu-Lu, you're so sensitive. I think it's cute."

Shortly afterwards they go to Luke's room to listen to music. He shows her his vast music collection which includes an 'oldies' collection he inherited from Biggs. Biggs didn't know if he would return from the battle on the Death Star but then Luke blew it up so all the troops were sent home. Biggs had been meaning to ask for his collection back but never had the chance.

"This is one of my favorites. It's the latest from the _'Mos Eisley Brothers_.' He inserts the chip into the crystal flat panel on the wall.

Mara listens. Oh, yeah, this is nice. What else do you have?" She sorts through the collection with him. "Ooh,_ 'The Rebel Troopers'_ I love them! Play this."

"Okay…"

"Thanks." She sits in the over-stuffed armchair in the corner of his room and rests her feet on the ottoman. She looks around. 'Nice digs, you've got, Lu-Lu. I don't think you'll ever leave home. I sure wouldn't. You've got a TV in here?"

"No. My dad doesn't want us to turn into sand potatoes by sitting in front of the flat screen all day watching holovids. He's too busy riding my ass about my Jedi training."

Mara sinks comfortably into the big chair as her lips form into a mischievous smile. "Is that a fact? Hmmm…so 'Pinky'…let's see." She turns her head looking through the partially opened door. No one is in the hall. She looks back at Luke who is still flipping through his music collection. "Lu-Lu…"

"See what?" He turns to find out what she is talking about. Suddenly it comes to him. He is horrified as his eyes widen. His face turns crimson. Oh…noooo. I can't. I won't."

"Come on, let's be fair. You saw me at the sports arena….the least you can do is reciprocate."

"No! Mara! Besides, I was only trying to protect you because you were going crazy. My grandfather already thinks I'm a pervert! I didn't expect you to flash in front of sixty thousand fans."

"Lu-Lu, please…just a peek. You showed your Aunt Beru, you rascal. You're into older women! Is that it? I bet Isabel saw a lot of you."

Luke blushes again then averts his eyes. "I was five or six years old. Of course she saw me. She was like my mom."

"Oh, so you didn't have a crush on her just three months ago?"

"Taunt me all you like, Mara, I won't do what you want me to do."

"Luke, I just want a little equity. You saw me. You even touched me!"

She shifts her eyebrows. To Luke, she was the 'Devil.' She was trying to get him to do something he knew would be wrong.

"No! I shouldn't…it's not the Jedi way…"

"I'm not asking you to be a Jedi right now. I just want to see what Beru saw."

"Beru saw a lot. It wasn't funny."

"Luke! Just do it. No one is around. Let's see those cute cheeks!"

After some whining, Luke finally relents and turns his back to her as he unfastens his pants. He drops his pants slightly. He rolls his eyes as he looks up at the ceiling. He sighs.

"So, you like what you see? Want more? I guess you want to touch them too but…."

"Luke! I'm surprised at you!"

Luke is suddenly horrified. It's not Mara's voice he hears but dear sweet senior citizen Gladys. Luke wants to crawl under a rock, especially when he panics and tries to pull up his pants. He becomes disoriented and turns, exposing more of himself than he intended. Mara is in the chair speechless. She covers her mouth as she listens to Gladys scolding him in he grandmotherly voice. Tears come out of Mara's eyes as she watches the spectacle. Leia hurries in to see what the commotion is all about. When she arrives at the door she laughs.

"Oh, that. I've seen it a million times. No big deal. Really."

Luke finally manages to pull his pants back up but he is too embarrassed to face anyone. Gladys sees Mara in the chair.

"Oh, you poor little girl! I am so sorry you had to see this. Luke, you've made your friend cry. She's hysterical. Mara, dear; let's go. Shall I call someone to come get you?"

Mara nods her head "No."

Leia speaks to Gladys. "Gladys, I'm sure there's a good explanation of this. Let's just leave Luke alone for while so he can think long and hard about his actions."

Everyone leaves. Leia closes the door. Luke slaps himself in the face then throws himself on his bed and lets out a horrific moan. He wasn't going to leave the house for a month! His father should be happy. Mara is truly a red-headed _'she devil'_ A demonic temptress!

Gladys hugs Mara in an effort to comfort her.

"Mara, can you ever forgive us for this terrible moment?"

"I'll be fine, Mrs. Jensen. I didn't realize he was going to do this, honest." She looks over Gladys's shoulder to Leia who is trying not to laugh. Leia wags her finger accusingly at Mara.

Gladys continues to comfort Mara. She has no idea that Mara is actually laughing her head off.

"I know, dear. I'll make a point to talk to the boy. If you want to talk to anyone…"

"No…no…I'll be fine…really."

"I think he's just acting out because he misses his father."

Luke hears this. He thinks to himself,_ "No I'm not!"_

Leia goes to Gladys and takes her aside.

"Gladys, do me a favor and don't say anything to my father about this. I think Luke understands what he did was wrong. He simply feels terribly about the whole thing."

"If you think so, Leia. I do think the boy may need help."

"My father is aware of that. He'll handle it. Don't worry."

Leia then goes out onto the terrace to do more damage control. Mara apologizes.

"Leia, I am so sorry. I…"

"It's alright, Mara. What can I say? My brother is a spaz. But take it easy on him. He's not as enlightened as you are."

"Is he mad at me?"

"He's just suffering from eternal embarrassment."

"Tell him to call me when he recovers. I'm going to leave now. Tell him it's safe to come out of his room and the 'She-Devil went home."

They laugh as Leia walks Mara to the door. She turns to Leia as they stand in the door. "Leia, I must admit, your brother has a really cute butt. The rest of him wasn't bad either."

"I might let you tell him that part. See you later."

"Bye."

After spending several days in the Skywalker house, Gladys has to leave. She leaves some home-made soup for them and a big loaf of freshly-baked bread. Luke finally leaves his room after hiding out for the past day and a half. Gladys gives his a warm hug and a kiss along with some words of advice.

"Luke, remember, if you need to talk, I'm just a call away. You can tell 'Grammy Gladys' anything. Just promise me you'll keep your pants on. You'll never attract the girls if you try too hard."

"Yes, I understand."

"Leia, keep up the good work. The booties are coming along beautifully."

"Thank you, Gladys."

Luke and Leia walk her down to the docking bay.

Threepio and Artoo wave goodbye. Uli Jensen is waiting to take his wife home.

"Come on, Mrs. Jensen, before the rush hour traffic holds us up. See you kids later"

"Bye, Grammy. Bye Mr. Jensen"

"Goodbye, Luke. Goodbye, Leia"

After the couple take off in their speeder, Luke and Leia head back inside the house with the droids. They are not inside three minutes when the bell rings. Leia rolls her eyes and smiles over at Luke.

"Oh-Oh, Luke. It must be babysitter number three."

She swings open the door. Both she and Luke scream. The droids panic, especially Threepio.

"Oh, no! Artoo! We're doomed!" He runs frantically through the house. "Artoo! Don't leave me!"

Palpatine stands in the doorway. Luke wants to cry for real now. He calls out to his father pleading. "Father, why didn't you tell us?"

"Luke, _I need your help, son_." The emperor lets himself in and takes a seat. He looks haggard.

Leia is furious. She wants to kill her father and the old goat sitting on the living room sofa. "If you think you're going to stay here and tell us…"

"Please…. I can't ... I give up. Help me. I am weak ... I am too weak. Don't kill me. I give up. I'm dying. I can't hold on any longer."

"You're too dangerous to be kept alive."

"Leia, dear child. Please…I beg of you…"

"It's a trick."

Luke remembers his lightsaber. He Force-retrieves it from the ammo cabinet across the room and ignites it. He holds it to the Emperor's throat.

"Who sent you here old man?"

"It...it…it was the first house where I could find refuge."

Threepio is still running around the house screaming. The servants quietly slip out through the back entrance and leave the house.

The doorbell rings again. Palpatine panics. "Don't answer it! It could be danger on the other side."

Leia heads for the door. "Luke, don't take your eyes off him." She opens the door. Her hand touches her heart she embraces the guest. She is almost in tears.

"Princess, what's wrong? I was just stopping by to tell…" Lando Calrissian sees Palpatine sitting on the sofa. "I see. You kids home alone?" He closes the door.

Leia nods nervously, "Uh-huh."

Leia is usually as tough as carbonite but she was truly shaken right now. Lando and, especially Luke, had never seen her appear so vulnerable in a long time. Palpatine really scared the Hell out of her.

Palpatine pleads to Luke. "Son, are you going to kill me?

"I would certainly like to."

"I know you would. I can feel your anger. It gives you focus, makes you stronger."

The doorbell rings.

Lando hands Leia his hold-out blaster. "If he blinks shoot him. Ask questions later."

Palpatine sniffs the air. "Something smells wonderful. Fresh bread and shaak barley soup. Luke, could you see it in your heart to feed a poor starving Emperor. I haven't eaten since…please, Luke…"

There is a tense moment, Luke relaxes, and then turns off his lightsaber. He has Artoo, who still hangs around during the turmoil; escort the Emperor to the breakfast room.

"Give him a plastic spoon, Artoo. He can't be trusted."

Palpatine takes a seat. Artoo serves the old wretch a bowl of soup and some freshly baked bread. Palpatine slurps it down. He spreads the still warm bread with sweet butter using a plastic knife.

Lando looks through the viewer before opening the door. He almost jumps back ten steps in reaction to what he sees. He pats his brow then opens the door. He quickly recovers and feigns his classic debonair smile. "And who might you be, you 'vision of blue' beauty?" He is careful not to choke on these words. Lando remains cool.

"My name is Sly Moore. I'm looking for a wizened old man with a bad silver perm."

A broad smile forms across Lando's face. He has figured it out. Palpatine wasn't necessarily running to the Skywalker home. It was the only home he was lucky enough to find temporary refuge. The old man was running from his lady love. What a scary looking bitch this was he thought. But, hey, there's someone for everyone! Lando gingerly takes her hand and escorts her inside. He thinks to himself. _"Anakin's never going to believe this!"_

Palpatine is in the middle of another spoonful of soup when he senses her heading for the breakfast room._ "Damn it! She found me. Why me? What have I ever done that was so bad to cause me such misfortune?"_

"There you are! You cheating, lying old man!"

Palpatine hold up his hands in defense mode, "But, my little Smurfette, blue Angel, I never said we were totally exclusive. You must understand…Help! Help! She's going to kill me in my sleep!"

Lando grins down at the Emperor. "You old dog! You, cheating on such a vision of beauty? This poor, delicate flower? A woman needs to know her man cares about her. You should take some relationship classes."

Sly Moore becomes weepy. "He refuses to attend. I've tried everything."

Leia rolls her eyes. She mutters under her breath. "I can't _effing_ believe this." She wags the pistol at the two intruders. Leia gains back her brave spirit. "Listen, sister, you and your love stud have to go. Come on, Move it!"

Sly Moore grabs Palpatine and heads for the door. Palpatine screams to Luke. "I am your pathway to power. I have the power to save the one you love. You must choose. You must stop her!"

Luke stares at him "What? Get out of town, old man!"

"Help me! Don't let her kill me. I can't hold on any longer. Ahhhhhhh . . . ahhhhhhh . . . ahhhhhhh . . .Luke, Please…"

Sly drags him to the door kicking and screaming. Lando and Leia follow close behind to assure a quick departure. Before she leaves, Sly turns and gives Leia a heartfelt embrace. Leia winces then pats the blue fatal attraction chick on the back. Sly speaks to her in a creepy weepy voice. "Thank you."

Leia nods her head and sends her off with the old man.

"Yeah, whatever. Good luck."

Lando hands her a book, "Sly, honey, here's a little something to get your love life back on track. It's the _'Velvet Jones Book of Love'. _It's guaranteed to get your man to stay home.

"Oh, thank you."

Sly finally drags her _'lover man' _away with her. Everyone in the house releases a sigh of relief. Threepio pops out of hiding. He shouts over the terrace.

"Finally, they're gone, Imperial scum!"

Leia grabs him and shoves him back inside. Luke switches off his lightsaber. Lando turns and retrieves his blaster from Leia. The doorbell rings again. Luke ignites his lightsaber.

"Oh, no. Not again."

Lando walks to the door. "I'll get it." He looks through the viewer for a few moments as if he doesn't see anything. There is a scratching sound on the door. He finally opens the door. Yoda bursts in.

"Hello, you crazy kids."

Luke looks surprised as the diminutive Jedi Master walks into the living room.

"Yoda?"

"Yes, It's Yoda. Favor for your father I do. You kids are reckless! Let Palpatine in your home. Yes, saw the old buzzard I did. Has more troubles than Jedi he has. Only a few weeks to graduation you have, young Skywalker. Work on your valedictorian speech we must. Mmmm. Soup I smell. Gladys has been here."

Luke wants to get back to what Yoda was talking about before but Yoda shuffles off to the kitchen. This is the first he has heard of such news. He follows Yoda into the kitchen. Artoo trails behind.

Leia sits with Lando in the living room.

"Luke made valedictorian?"

"Now, Leia; why are you so shocked? You're not the only gifted Skywalker. Luke was right. He's full of surprises."

"Why were you the first to know?"

"I wasn't the first to know but I was up there. Your father told me as soon as the Jedi Council voted. I had to pick up something."

"Luke's graduation gift. Lando, what did he get?"

"I can't tell you that, Leia. I've been sworn to secrecy by your father."

"I'm actually happy for Luke. So, why did you stop by today? We thought you were our babysitter."

"Hell, no! I love you two gremlins but I don't want to spend a week watching you. I just wanted to stop by to make sure everything was alright."

"Your timing was perfect. Stay for dinner. Please? We don't get to see you that often."

"Alright, if you insist. Did you cook?"

"No. Gladys did."

"Then I'm definitely staying!" He laughs.

"You're teasing me."

"Leia, you better learn how to cook. How do you expect to keep a man at home if you don't have anything going on in the kitchen?"

"I was thinking I would keep a few maids."

"That's a woman's worst nightmare. If you do, make sure she's old and doesn't have a daughter. You know exactly what I mean. We men can be idiots. You've got to keep us out of trouble. Look at your father's new wife. Isabel knows her way around the kitchen. She's going to have to beat him to get him out of the house."

"Okay, okay, I get the picture."

In the kitchen, Luke continues to pester Yoda. Yoda finally places his spoon back in the bowl.

"A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. You have proven yourself. Yes, Luke, you blockhead, you made valedictorian. Could have knocked me over with a feather." He chuckles to himself.

Luke becomes unsure of himself for a moment. Yoda notices but says nothing.

"Yoda, was I truly the best? Or the best of what you had to work with? What I'm trying to say is… Did I earn this honor?"

"Luke, you should know better than anyone. Randomly the Jedi Council chooses not. When we select someone for a great honour such as the one bestowed upon you, with great care it is done. Many excellent padawan we have in your class. Rest assured, young Skywalker, the best has been chosen."

"Thank you, Yoda. I just wanted to be sure. The Jedi Council has always been fair. You have been fair to my father."

"Great hopes we had for him when your age he was. We still have hope. Great soup!"

Dinner was perfect. Good friends at the table once again. Leia gives much thought about what Lando has said to her. She calls Han before going to sleep that night. Luke felt better about the news he has learned. After dinner, Lando gives everyone a warm hug and bids them goodnight. He had a wife to go home to. With the house quiet again, Luke and Yoda hunkered down to discuss his preparations for his valedictorian speech. Some key thoughts stayed in his head:

'…_A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind.'_

Luke wanted the speech to be perfect. He didn't want to get up on the podium with his pants down.

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_To be continued…'Dinner with the In-Laws'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	65. Chapter 65 An Invitation to Dinner

_Chapter 65_

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'_An Invitation to Dinner with the In-Laws'_

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Things to do: Security Issues - Install ray shields around perimeter of house.

After all the complaining Owen Lars did about the Skywalker twins, he couldn't stop bragging about them to the neighbors back home on Tatooine. He would tell anyone he came onto contact with about his visit to Coruscant. He was even more thrilled when Anakin invited Owen and Beru to Luke's graduation ceremony. The invitation came in the mail the morning Anakin and Isabel were due back home.

Owen was beaming with pride. He drove into Mos Eisley that very same afternoon and had the invitation framed. He hangs it next to Leia's Galactic Senate Academy graduation invitation and her own valedictorian honors speech. He set a space for Luke (just in case). It's a good thing he did because Anakin would eventually send him a copy.

The final week, Luke and Leia are too busy with their normal activities to get into any trouble. Luke was gradually getting into his serious Jedi mode; there was plenty of time for him to get into Skywalker high jinks later.

Two days before Anakin and Isabel were due to return from their honeymoon, contractors were in the house to measure the room designated for the nursery. Luke and Leia were quarreling over the wallpaper design. Anakin warned Isabel it would be a big mistake to give them creative license to design the room. Isabel gave the twins her input but left the final design up to them. Anakin told Isabel the baby might wind up with a room decorated with flowery wallpaper and rock posters. He advised her to supervise the work as soon as they return home.

Leia did manage to un-wrap the wedding gifts and check off the names so that Anakin and Isabel could write their 'Thank you' cards. Luke decides to pitch in. That margarita machine was a hoot. He looks for the card to find out who the gift-giver is. Leia suggested it would be more interesting to find out who requested it on the registry. Luke thought it was Isabel because she enjoyed cooking. Leia bats him over the head with the box lid saying, "Mixing drinks is _Not_ cooking. She even bet him a ride on his precious new speeder bike that Anakin scanned this item onto the registry. She was right. Anakin was thinking it would be cool to have one of these machines in his office…for clients of course…._right_. A wedding gift that Isabel would not even use! Their father could be such an idiot!

Then there was one mysterious box that the twins had not yet opened. Luke looks for the gift card. There is an Imperial seal on it. Leia is immediately suspicious. "It's from that old buzzard."

"What do we do?"

"Set it aside, Let Dad deal with it."

Luke force-hurls it into a corner. It makes a rattling sound when it lands. Leia opens her mouth.

"Luke, I hope you didn't break it."

"Why? Do you think it's an expensive gift?"

"No. I think it's a dangerous gift. Who knows what's in there. I'm not opening it."

"Oh."

There was another gift that the twins did not notice. It was a beautifully wrapped blue box. Luke opens the gift cars. He sinks back in his chair then hands the card to Leia. She is shocked as she reads the note. "This one is from Opa and Oma. They sent a gift."

"Did you send them an invitation?"

"No. I didn't think they would come. I never expected a gift from them."

"Open it."

Luke opens the box. It is a beautifully engraved crystal bowl with the Isabel and Anakin's names on it. Ruwee and Jobal actually met Isabel years ago when she helped with the twins. She would, on occasion, bring the children to Naboo for their court –appointed visits. The Judge stipulated that the Naberrie's would be entitled to two monthly visits with the children. Luke and Leia would travel to Naboo every other Friday afternoon and return to Coruscant by the end if the weekend on a Sunday afternoon. The Naberrie's also got to keep the children two months during the summer and on alternate birthdays. Most of the time Anakin would celebrate their birthdays early and allows them to have their big party on Naboo.

The grandparents liked Isabel and they knew the children adored her. A few years after her departure, Leia revealed to her grandparents of Anakin's true feelings for Isabel and how sad it was for the twins to see her leave. Jobal suggested to her husband that it may be time to let go of their years of anger towards Anakin. It would not be easy but the gift would be a start.

Luke and Leia places the gift tag on the top of the stack

The day that Anakin and Isabel are due to leave, is quiet. Anakin takes a walk alone. He did this on occasion; not because he didn't want Isabel with him but it gave him time to think how lucky he was to find her. He was thrilled about the baby. He could feel the baby's life-force no matter how far away he traveled.

The luggage was packed with the exception of Isabel's overnight tote. She had taken a short nap and wanted to shower and change her clothes before the trip home. Anakin returns two hours later carrying a bouquet of wildflowers. He finds her standing in the mirror in her silk robe. She ties her hair in a ribbon. Anakin smiles and presents the flowers to her.

"You look beautiful. Oh, these are for you."

She stops what she is doing and takes the flowers.

"Thank you. I love these flowers. That's what I love about this place. All the plants and flowers smell so wonderful." She sniffs the bouquet.

"Turn around; let me see you."

"I'm not dressed."

"I like seeing you this way. Come on, I love your little bump."

"This _'bump'_ isn't as little as it was a few weeks ago. Can I borrow one of your shirts?"

"Why? Are you trying to hide it?"

"Yes."

"No, you can't borrow a shirt. I want you in the tightest little outfit you have."

Isabel is embarrassed. "I feel fat."

"Get over it. No shirt for you."

"You're a mean man."

"I know."

She finds something to wear but covers up with a long shawl. Anakin laughs when he sees her.

"You remind me of a mummy"

She refuses to remove the shawl after several requests from Anakin.

They finally leave for home. They head back from paradise to whatever hell has stirred up back at home. Anakin knows he's in for an earful from the twins. For now, he cuddles up with Isabel on the upholstered cabin seats of the ship. He touches her belly. Isabel places her hand over his. He promised this time would be different. He would be home more. He missed so much with the twins. He made a promise to himself never to be so blinded by anger and ambition ever again.

It was actually great to be home again. When they walk through the door, there is no one to greet them. The servants carry the luggage to their room. Anakin knows someone is there. He looks around.

"Where are those Scurriers?"

Suddenly Luke and Leia jump out to surprise them Leia hugs them. The droids cheer. Leia is relieved to see them. She holds on for what seems to be an eternity to Anakin. He senses her fear but his smile makes her feel better and the bad feeling immediately dissipates.

"I'm so glad you're back. She smiles when she sees Isabel and touches her belly. "Oh, how adorable. Isabel, how are you? You look beautiful."

"Thanks. It took on a life of its' own."

Anakin smiles smugly at Isabel.

"See? I told you. You look fine. Leia said so."

Luke pops into the room. Anakin hugs his son and kisses him. He takes a looks at that blond mop of hair and his Padawan braid that would soon be history and rolls his eyes.

"I know you two have plenty to tell me. Give us a few minutes to settle in then you and Leia will have my undivided attention."

"Okay. We really missed you two."

Luke looks in Isabel's' eyes but he immediately notices something else.

He takes one looks at Isabel and points. "Isabel, what the Hoth happened to you?"

Isabel is stunned. She bites her lip then leaves the room. Leia yanks at a lock of his hair.

"What is the matter with you?"

"Ow! I was just joking."

Anakin gives Luke a disappointed look. "Gee, thanks, Luke. I just got her to calm down about it and you make that dumb remark?"

"I'm sorry. I thought she would laugh."

The real reason Anakin took the long walk during the last day of their honeymoon was that Isabel stopped speaking to him. He made a similar insensitive remark. He decided to have a good time teasing her when she couldn't fasten a pair of walking pants. When he started laughing uncontrollably, she shoves him out of the room and locks the door. He was taking a _'contemplation' _walk. He thought she was being overly sensitive. When he flipped through the baby book in the sitting room, there was an entire chapter devoted to mood swings. There was a list of things _'__Not__ to say'_ to a first-time expectant mother. (_'Roll on the bed like a serpent and wiggle yourself into the pants' _was not in the book but it was implied as a _'Don't_) Anakin knew he had better do some quick damage control.

Luke didn't have any flowers but he did have his old stuffed toy tauntaun given to him by Obi-Wan. Luke slept with the toy every night for eight years. He got the toy on his second birthday. Anakin had a chat with him when Luke went for his first overnight camping trip as a young padawan. Anakin found it hidden in Luke's sleeping bag. Anakin didn't want the other kids to laugh at his son. Luke reluctantly left the toy at home. He still preferred his tauntaun to the river stone his father gave to him on his thirteenth birthday. He respected the stones' significance and that it had once belonged to Obi-Wan; it wasn't soft and comforting but it did keep him warm. He kept the stone next to his mother's holograph on his night table. The tauntaun lay next to his pillow…until now.

Luke knocks on the door of the master bedroom and enters. He apologizes to Isabel and leaves the stuff toy with her. After their talk, Isabel opens her mail.

Anakin walks in. He has just heard an earful about the events over the past three week from the twins. He laughed. He was concerned about old Palpatine getting in the house but he would soon fix that. He sits on the bed and cuddles up with Isabel.

"What are you reading?"

"A letter from my parents."

"What does it say? _'Are you still with that evil man?'_

She elbows him. "Oh, stop it. My father doesn't hate you."

"I don't know about that…"

She reaches for the com and dials. "Hello, Mom, yes, we just got back, It was lovely...I feel okay. Where's Daddy? ...sure, I'll…really? Are you sure? When? We would love to. I think he is…"

Anakin nods his head _'No'. _Isabel playfully pushes his face away with her hand. He caresses her belly as she continues her conversation with her mother.

"He would love to. I think it would give them a chance to bond."

Anakin whispers to the baby. "She's trying to get me to 'bond'. You hear your mother? She's scheming to get me to talk to your grandpa. I won't do it. I won't"

Isabel continues to chat with her parents. 'Yes, Daddy, we had a wonderful honeymoon. I know, Daddy. We've been through this already. It's not like I'm the first pregnant bride in the galaxy…Okay, fine, I'm the first pregnant bride in our family. Who's going to be shocked? ...Besides you. I'm very happy, Daddy….Very funny, but that won't be necessary….and don't talk that way. It's your grandchild. Think positive, Daddy. What's all this doom and gloom? You don't scare me." She sighs as her father drones on. "What? Well, why don't you tell him yourself? He's right here…"

Anakin gives her a look like a bantha in headlights of a speeder. Why does he have to speak to this man? Weren't those awkward moments during the wedding and reception enough? It's a good thing they did not put the com on video mode. He did not want to have to look at the man as well! Isabel hands the call over to him. Anakin couldn't believe his wife would do this to him. The injustice of it all! _She has gotten evil since she became pregnant._ He rolls his eyes then speaks. He tries to put on his 'cheery voice' (whatever that was). Has Anakin ever been anything but brooding and angry? It comes off as forced politeness, as if Isabel was pointing a blaster to his head. She flicks him on the forehead. It wasn't life threatening like a blaster, but it sure was annoying. It was her method of behavioral modification.

"Hello? Hello, Mr. Nor, I'm fine, how are you? Yes, sir…no sir…She's doing fine. She looks beautiful. What's that, sir? Oh, well…of course…we'd love to come to dinner."

He gives Isabel an angry look and points to her. She pinches him. He was hoping this family get-together would wait until perhaps after the baby's tenth birthday.

At the exact same time, in the family room of the Nor residence, Isabel's' father is stubbornly dragging his heels to pick up the com to talk to Anakin. He sulks in his easy chair and shuffles his newspaper, pretending to look for the sports page. Ouisanne holds up the handset and wags it in his face. He tries to ignore her. She speaks to her daughter again.

"Hold on, dear, your father is on his way. He got lead in his butt, so it may take a few minutes for him to drag his sorry ass to the com."

Nakai pouts like a child. His wife knows how to get him to the phone. "Nakai, it's your daughter…be nice…she's expecting. She in a delicate state."

Nakai leaps from his comfy chair. He is happy to speak to her even though he thinks she's making a grave mistake. Too late to cry over spilt blue milk. He's already "accepted" Anakin as her husband.

"Hello, my little angel! How are you?...Did you have a good time?...yeah? Bet you were the only pregnant newlywed couple there….well, it's never happened in this family. It's taking awhile to get used to. Are you feeling alright? ...You know…it's not too late. You can still come home. All will be forgiven… We'll even have a private exorcism for the little demon tot when he arrives. Father Merrin is still in the business of cleansing lost souls. He'll even give you a once over from your encounter with the 'Incubus.' This will be his biggest challenge yet. What do you mean, 'don't talk that way'? …I am thinking positive…I'm positive that kid inside you will torment us all." He is secretly enjoying this.

Ouisanne nudges him then flicks him in the head. She taught her daughter well. "Go on, ask them."

"Ow! …Oh…Your mother wants…" He gets another flick to the forehead. "I want to invite you kids to dinner….I'm telling you!...Isabel…don't…" He lets out a sigh of defeat. His voice suddenly becomes forced and perky. "Hey, Anakin, how are you…_son_?" He almost crushes his teeth he is clenching them so hard. "How's my little girl? Are you taking good care of her?...Any problems? Glad to hear it. So, Anakin, I was thinking…The missus and I would love to have you newlyweds over for dinner. We are, after all…fa…family. We never really got a chance to chat at the wedding. See you tomorrow…ok. Bye.

In both households both men are throwing a half-hearted tantrum. "Ouisanne/Isabel, don't you ever do that to me again!" They were secretly looking forward to dinner…sort of. Ouisanne thought the two men would bond splendidly. Isabel thought they would kill one another. She didn't trust them. She plans to check Anakin for weapons before getting into the speeder. She hopes her mother will do the same.

Isabel kisses Anakin on the spot where she had caused him so much _'emotional trauma.'_ Too many finger flicks to the head could give a person an aneurysm. Quisanne smoothes her husbands' graying ponytail and hands him his newspaper. Skippy and Lil' Hellraiser circled the big chair to find their prime relaxing spot at their master's feet. Nakai was at peace…for now.

_To be continued…'Dinner with the In-Laws and Call K-911'_

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	66. Chapter 66 Dinner with the In Laws K911

_Chapter 66_

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'_Dinner with the In-Laws'_

_True Confessions_

'_Call K-911'_

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As Isabel and Anakin prepare for another evening away from the twins, Luke is going over a rough draft of his valedictorian speech. Threepio, Artoo and the butler Belvedere become his _'test'_ audience.

**Luke's Valedictorian Speech Draft #1:**

"_Thank you, Dean Adi Gallia, Jedi Masters. ...and, thank you, fellow graduates, family members, distinguished faculty and honored guests. It is my honor to share with you my thoughts and some important life lessons that I have learned while attending the Jedi Academy. Fellow graduates, when we look back on today, we will know that we have walked together to help build the foundation for the rest of our lives. Thank my powerful Sith Lord Dad for riding my ass all these years He said it would build character. That's an understatement! Being grounded for most of your adolescent and teen life as I have gives a Padawan learner nothing else to do but focus."_

Anakin walks into the living room and overhears part of this speech. He interrupts.

"Luke. May I see you in my study for a minute, please?"

"Yes, Dad." He looks over at his 'Luke Skywalker Fan Club' and rolls his eyes. "I've got a bad feeling about this." He calls after his father. "Dad, I was in the middle of my speech. I was just getting my audience motivated to do great things."

"Just get in there. I want to talk to you."

Luke huffs and moans as he leaves the living room. Artoo beeps. Threepio walks halfway across the living room as Luke disappears into his father's study. He turns to Belvedere and Artoo.

"I thought it was a lovely speech. Master Ani is too demanding sometimes. Those poor children. They try so hard to please him. What do you think, Mr. Belvedere?"

"I thought it was out there. It could use some structure but he's on the right track …as long as he omits the last two lines. "

"Well, his father does ride his ass a lot! Oh, that master Luke can be so amusing."

Luke stands in front of his fathers' desk. Anakin force-closes the door, snatches the sheets of paper from Luke's hand and walks over to his desk. He paces the floor.

'_Thank my Sith Lord Dad for riding my ass?' "_What kind of valedictory speech was that? Yoda never suggested putting that line in your speech. I'm certain of it." He wildly waves the sheets of paper containing Luke's speech. He is not pleased. It is almost comical as Luke watches his father's facial expressions. He reminds Luke of a maniacal dictator. Anakin finally takes a seat at his desk. Luke explains himself.

"I was trying to break the ice."

"Well, I don't want you breaking anything. This is unacceptable." He takes another look at the paper. His eyes bulge. He snarls as he looks across the desk at Luke. "What the _eff_… _'He will join us or Die'? _I never said this! Luke, you'd better learn how to attribute your quotes. You could get sued for libel."

"Yes, you did."

Anakin looks up from the paper as if he wants to strangle the boy. "It's coming out whether I said it or not."

"I thought it would be a good idea to give everyone a good laugh." He sees the expression on his father's face. Anakin is doing some 'creative' editing with a red marker. Luke sulks. "…Or not"

"I want you to work on a decent speech to make the Jedi Council glad they made the right choice in a valedictorian."

"But, Dad, you're editing out all the cool stuff I wanted to say."

"I am altering the _'cool stuff'_ as you call it. Pray I don't alter it any further. Isabel and I are going out tonight. I want you hard at work on this half-witted excuse for a speech you've been writing."

"You've only been back one day and you're out of the house again?"

"Yes, we are. Both of you had better be in this house when we get back. You will stay here or die. Now go quote me on that; I dare you."

"What time are you due back?"

"You think I'm dumb enough to tell you?"

"Uhm…you want me to answer that?"

"Luke, your mouth is going to cause you a whole lot of trouble."

"Well, you asked. I didn't know it was a rhetorical question."

"Get out of here. I'll listen to that speech tomorrow. 'I'm not paying for you to go to comedian school _Mr. Joker man'"_

Luke turns as he heads for the door.

"But I wanted to surprise you at graduation."

"I know you can be full of surprises. That's why I want a preview. Leave a draft on my desk before you go to bed tonight,_ 'Sithspeare.'_

"Yes, Dad. Can I read it to _'Mom'_ first? She tends to be more diplomatic than you are."

Anakin is taken aback. He is at a lost for words but he manages a gentle smile as his son is about to leave the study.

"Uh…yes…uhm ..Sure…of course you can."

"Thanks."

Luke leaves his father's study. Several minutes later Luke is on the balcony of the master bedroom. Isabel is sitting listening to Luke do a quickly-revised version of his speech. When he is done, he waits a moment.

"Well? Be honest. I can take it."

"It's a great start, Luke. I'm really proud of you. Leave a draft for me and I'll read the rest when I come back tonight."

"You don't mind?"

"Of course not."

"Dad doesn't understand good humor."

"Oh, Luke, he does. It's just not the type of humor for this speech. We know what you're feeling. You'll just have to tweak it a bit to fit the Jedi Council and faculty. Your father is really proud of you."

Luke gives Isabel a warm hug.

"Thanks, Mom."

A flurry of emotions hits Luke all at once. He has wanted to say this for a long time ever since he was a small boy. When all the other children had their mothers fuss over them at school, Luke felt so alone. He cried when other children taunted him and said his mother was dead.

One day he asked Isabel if he could call her 'Mom' when she would pick him up. She was freshly out of graduate school, a bit naïve, and against her better judgment and professional training, she relented. It broke her heart to see this young child pining for motherly affection. Isabel became his champion when she walked to the school and confronted one of the parents whose bully son punched Luke. When the parent asked who she was, Isabel answered, _'I'm his mother and I would appreciate it if you would rein in your child. If my son comes home with one more bruise on his body, I'll contact the authorities.' _This was great because, unbeknownst to the negligent parent, Isabel _was_ the _'authorities.' _

This very kid, bully to most kids at the school, wound up at the Mustafar Reform School for Boys.

Luke didn't have the same bully problem when he attended the academy for his Jedi training. Half the younglings were separated from their parents as infants. The Jedi Council has since changed these rules. They deemed the practice outdated. Luke's Jedi training was balanced with traditional schooling. The judge believed the twins would not feel so isolated if they split up the school week this way. The new crop of Jedi Padawan graduates were worldly, smart and permitted to date.

Luke leaves their room to return to his own room to work on his speech. Anakin stands in the doorway as Luke heads down the hall.

"Are you ready to roll, Ma Skywalker?"

"What? Oh, yes. I'm ready" She walks with him as they head out of the house.

Leia walks them to the door. "You know, you two will have to stay home after this. You can't go gallivanting around the galaxy. You're not free and single anymore. You've got a growing family to take care of. You might want to consider a curfew."

Anakin stares at her. "Oh, yes? We'll consider a curfew alright…Yours."

"Oh, Daddy, you're such a kidder."

"I'm not."

"Well, you two love birds have a great time. Don't worry about us."

"Don't be a smart mouth."

"Isabel, have you checked _'ol' sparky' _here for weapons?"

"Oh, you're right… Anakin, open your jacket."

"What?"

Leia grins and pats him down.

"Come on, Daddy. I know you're packing heat."

"It's for self-defence."

"Oh, Daddy, please! Mr. Nor won't be lying in wait to pop a cap in your butt. You're paranoid. He's a sweet, gentle man."

"I could be walking into an ambush."

"Hand over the lightsaber, Daddy."

"What? You're not the boss of me." He grimaces at the two women. He feels betrayed.

Isabel gently pats his face after he hands the lightsaber over to Leia.

"That's a good boy. Anakin stop looking at us as if we're ganging up on you."

"Well, you are. You women are against me. Isabel, I'm surprised at you. I expect such behavior from my rebel daughter but not you. I was doing this to protect you."

"Anakin, stop being so serious, you're creeping me out."

"You women are twisted and evil."

Leia nudges him through the door and rubs his back.

"Yeah, Daddy, I know. Everyone is twisted and evil in your world when you don't get your way. Now get out of here and have a good time."

Leia kisses her father and Isabel. She whispers to Isabel as Anakin walks ahead.

"If he gets a little whiny, just pinch him."

Anakin is far ahead of them on his way to the docking bay to get the speeder.

"I heard that."

Isabel and Leia giggle. Isabel goes to the waiting speeder. Anakin holds open the door like a chauffeur.

"Madame, your ride awaits…get the Hell inside the car." He closes the door then mutters to himself as he walks to the drivers' side. "I am so glad this baby is a boy."

Not even the Lord of the Sith could foretell. In just a few years another Skywalker daughter will be born. It would change him totally. He would have an adoring fan who would love him unconditionally and no pinching! (As Leia would later remark:_ "Because she doesn't know any better"_) Leia would allow her kid sister to live under the sweet delusion that 'Daddy' was a darling, understanding, and patient man. She would 'enlighten' her upon her twelfth birthday and reveal the secret of making Anakin's life miserable.

But this revelation would take place some time in the future. In the meantime, she would let her father enjoy his newly-formed _'He-man Woman-haters' _club with Luke and the new little son of the Sith.

Anakin and Isabel head off in the speeder for the Nor home across town. Anakin complains as he drives.

"Why couldn't we do this in a restaurant or some other public place? I swear that man still wants to kill me. You saw that new attack dog he's got? Now he's got two little killing machines trained to bite my ass."

"Oh, cut it out before I pinch you as Leia suggested."

"There's just no justice in this galaxy."

Meanwhile at the Nor residence Isabel's mother walks into the living room She catches Nakai tucking his hands between the cushions in the sofa. She walks over to him.

"Nakai, what are you up to?"

He quickly stands at attention, his eyes bulging like a paranoid drug addict.

"Nothing! Why do I have to be up to something? I just want my house to look nice…for guests."

"What's in the sofa?"

"Springs, a cushion…_stuff_-ing."

"Move!"

She pulls up the cushion like a sand trooper searching Tatooine for droids in an escape pod. Nakai gulps as she points to something in the cushion. He expresses surprise.

"Oooh, what's that? Oh, It's my blaster. Must have slipped between the cushions as I was reading the paper."

"Since when do you read the paper while wearing a blaster? Get that thing out of here."

"It's for self-defence. This family could be in danger."

"Why? Is there a 'turf war' I'm not aware of? I watch the plasma too, Nakai. We're not exactly living in a rough area. What are you defending? Someone going to take the roses from our garden?

"It could happen. People are always complimenting our flower garden. Hey, he might try to kill us in our sleep."

"He's staying for dinner, not the weekend. Cut it out. He wouldn't hurt a Mustafar Lava flea. Nakai, just be nice to Anakin. You finally made a truce at the wedding. He's trying. He's taking a risk coming here. The poor thing has no family outside of his children and Isabel. And just think. This is a joyous event. He's expanding his family..."

"Using our daughter."

"We'll have another grandchild to spoil. Take that blaster out of here. You should be ashamed of yourself. Don't come back until you change your attitude."

"Okay"

"Today! I want you to greet them when they arrive. You are going to welcome him into the family."

Anakin pulls into the driveway of the Nor home. It is a beautiful evening. The sun disappears in the heavens for another night. The sweet smell of flowers fills the air. Anakin parks the speeder then sits with his hands in his lap. Isabel looks over at him.

"Well? I hope you're not waiting for valet service because it's not coming."

"I'm just sitting. I'm pacing myself."

"Anakin, just get out of the car."

He looks over the side of the speeder. He peers over the windshield. Nothing. He steps out then walks around to open the door for Isabel. He smiles at her. "I get laid tonight right? I deserve it since I'm putting my life on the line and all."

"Is that all you're thinking about? You are so selfish. You're not supposed to be rewarded for stuff you should be doing."

"Well, I should be."

"Shut up. Don't be stupid."

They walk up to the door. Anakin takes her in his arms and touches her face.

"I'm doing this for you and the baby. I love you. In case I don't make it…I want you to know."

He gives her a passionate kiss. He senses someone watching them. The person in the door speaks.

"Oh, it's you."

"Daddy! Hi!" Isabel stops kissing Anakin. Anakin turns to see Mr. Nor staring at them. He purses his lips and squeezes Isabel's hand."

"Hey, sweetheart. How are you doing?"

"I'm good. You remember Anakin…my husband."

Anakin nods his head.

"Mr. Nor, Good evening…" The two droid dogs are standing at Mr. Nor's feet. Anakin hesitates. "Whoa! Who let the dogs out? Heheheh. It's a joke."

Mr. Nor keeps staring at Anakin. Isabel hugs her father and pulls Anakin behind her. Her father slowly backs up inside the door. Ouisanne shoves him out of the way. She kisses Isabel and Anakin.

"Isabel, Anakin. We're so glad you children are here. Look at you! Aren't you are absolutely adorable."

Anakin smiles brightly and points to Isabel

"I did that."

This remark elicits a scowl from Nakai. Anakin quickly makes a _'clarification.'_

"I helped her pick out a dress." He rolls his eyes as he follows everyone into the living room. Anakin reveals a bottle of expensive whisky and presents it to Nakai. "This is for you. I know you're fond of this brand…."

"Are you implying I drink too much?"

"Uhm no! Not at all! Never. I just thought…" Anakin wants to die right this minute until he feels a hand on his shoulder and a smile forms across Nakai's face.

"Anakin, relax, I'm just busting your chops. This is nice stuff. Have a seat, son. You look tense. We're all family here."

"Okay. Thank you, sir. Oh, Mrs. Nor, I didn't forget about you. He presents her with a cobalt blue box carved from Felucia blue crystal.

Ouisanne touches her face. She is flattered by the box alone.

"Why, thank you. How sweet. What a beautiful box."

"Well, there's something inside too, Mrs. Nor."

"Oh…of course." She winks at Isabel who sits in the upholstered armchair. She opens the box. Inside is a necklace made of Naboo sea pearls and Felucia blue rubies. "I remember you told me how much you enjoy going to the opera. I thought it would be something you would like to wear. You and Isabel two of the best dressed women I know."

"Anakin that is the sweetest thing I have heard. You are a darling. Thank you. It's absolutely beautiful. Come over here, and give me a hug." She holds out her arms. Anakin receives a warm embrace. She whispers to him. "And no more of this 'Mrs. Nor' stuff. We're family. Call me Mom."

Anakin smiles. The light fragrance of perfume in her hair comforts him. He closes his eyes and holds on. Ouisanne looks up at him and cups his face in her gentle hands. She knew he needed to hear something like this. And he was in great need of a motherly hug. He was thankful to her and to Gladys. Ouisanne makes Anakin sit on the sofa with her. Nakai takes his seat in his armchair.

His wife fusses over Anakin.

"Isn't he the sweetest man ever?"

Nakai stares over at them. He's hoping she isn't expecting and answer. She is. He clears his throat.

"Anakin, you're a stand up kind of guy. You know how to charm the ladies."

"Anakin, why don't you and my husband go to his workroom? He carves miniature gondolas. You have to see it. Nakai is quite proud of his work."

Nakai was just getting comfortable but he gets out of the chair. He remembers he has lots of tools and knives in the workroom. Anakin follows his father in-law.

Isabel smiles as the men leave the room. Her mother turns to her.

"So, do you have any questions to ask about babies?"

"No. I'm good. Anakin and I are reading all about it."

"Well, some of that stuff can be confusing. It's easier to ask someone who knows."

"Mom, Believe me, I'll have questions. We wouldn't think of leaving you out of this."

"You're not going to have the baby at home or any nonsense like that are you? And none of this birth underwater silliness. Our grandchild is not a fish.._.is he_?"

"No, Mother."

"Just asking. This will be the first time he will be present at the birth of one of his children. How do Luke and Leia feel about this?"

"They're happy about the baby. They're designing the nursery. We're fine. Really."

The maid enters the room.

Meanwhile, Anakin gets a first look at his father-in-law's work room. There are canoes and gondolas mounted on the walls. The designs on the vessels range from a simple camping canoe to an elaborate miniature replica of the Royal Ship of Naboo. Anakin is impressed.

"Wow. This is impressive. He sees a carving knife on the worktable. Nakai grabs it and slowly inserts it into the proper storage rack."

"Do you have a hobby, Anakin?"

"I like to fix things…like droids."

"You should have been here when Lil' Hellraiser here got trampled. It was around the time you stopped by. What a coincidence. You could have taken a look at him."

"I wasn't really invited in your home at the time."

"Skippy was fine, but Lil' Hellraiser was wobbling around with his innards rattling. He was in the droid vet hospital for a week. Till this day, I still have no idea what happened."

"That must have sucked."

"But, I got two first-class watchdogs. You got security around that big old house of yours?"

"The basic stuff but I discovered a breach in the system. We're installing ray shields."

"Wow. Now that's high-tech. You're a good man, Skywalker. You take care of your family."

"That's my intention, sir."

The maid knocks on the door. "Dinner is about to be served, Sir."

"Thank you, Hazel."

Soon they are all seated at the table. Skippy and Lil' Hellraiser are lying at Nakai's feet at the head of the table. The menu includes braised duck with capers, Stuffed Felucia zucchini and rice and cheese timbales. Everyone has wine and champagne except for Isabel.

Nakai talks about Luke's graduation.

"Thank you for the invitation to young Luke's graduation. You must be proud."

"I am. We both are. He would very much like it if you would attend. He considers you family. He remembers you welcomed him and his sister into your home when they were small children."

"Nice kids. We would love to attend. Thank you."

Ouisanne looks at Isabel. "I see you have a good appetite today."

"I'm starving. Mom, this is so good."

"Take it easy. Let your body adjust."

Anakin smiles over at Isabel. She has not eaten much in the past few weeks. He is pleased to see her regain her appetite.

After dinner Isabel winds up in the refresher hurling up her dinner. Her mother goes upstairs and makes her rest while Anakin and Nakai _'bond'_

The two men are in Nakai's den. There is a billiards table, two long sofas, two recliners, widescreen plasma, and a dartboard with a paper image of someone in the center target. He meant to remove the picture before the 'kids' arrived. A wet bar is off to the side. Nakai obviously does a lot of entertaining.

"Anakin, join me for a drink. What's your poison?"

Anakin hesitates. '_Aha!' _He thinks to himself. '_This is how he intends to get rid of me!'_

Nakai sets two glasses on the bar.

"Ever try Rodia Tequila?"

"No, Sir, I don't believe I have."

"It'll knock you off your feet if you don't have the constitution for it."

"I can take anything. Is she going to be alright? Maybe I should go up there to be with her."

"She'll be fine. Her mother has everything under control." He raises his glass. "To the family"

"To the family" Anakin takes a breath and drinks. Nakai smiles. Anakin notices Nakai has yet to down his drink. After a few moments he is relieved as the man finally inhales the contents of his glass.

An hour passes. They finish off dessert and laugh about the Emperor getting inside the Skywalker home. They are relaxed and chatty. Anakin settles down on the chestnut Gundarkian leather sofa. It is soft to the touch and there are matching pillows. Nakai is leaning against the bar.

"See, Anakin, you need extra security. You've got a lot of people scratching at your door to kick your ass."

"I know. Everyone wants a piece of me."

"I bet they do. You're a badass SOB"

"That I am. That I am." He starts laughing to himself.

"What's so funny?"

"I was thinking. I'm starting to sound like one of my old mentors."

"Is he still alive?"

"Hell, yeah! It's Yoda. You had to have seen him at the wedding and reception. He cracks me up. I never used to take him seriously until after the bad times. We reconciled. I listen to him now. Somehow everything he has ever told me makes sense. I wouldn't have gotten into trouble all those years ago if I had only listened."

"Then you never world have met my daughter."

"Oh, yeah. Well, I'm happy about that. Isabel is amazing. I remember when we first met. I interviewed her for the job of family monitor. I almost didn't hire her."

"Why not? My daughter is an intelligent woman. She's good at what she does."

"She was too young. She was twenty-two, just out of school."

"What was the real reason you didn't want her?"

"She was beautiful. I couldn't imagine her working for me. I fell in-love with her that very moment."

"You mean, you never hit on my daughter? She wasn't good enough?"

Nakai walks over and refills Anakin's glass.

"She was perfect. That was the problem. I was scarred and not at all attractive anymore. I was ugly. It would have been unbearable to have her around. She never flinched when she looked at me. She never told her superiors she didn't want to work for me."

"What made you decide to hire her?"

"My kids knew I interviewing people and they decided to come home early to spy. Once they saw her…their faces just lit up. I had never seen them so happy. They would never give me a moment's peace if I didn't keep her. My daughter threatened me."

"That Leia is a spitfire. Girl's got spirit."

"She does. I want her to be happy."

"I take it; you're not crazy about her boyfriend. Now you know how it feels to have a daughter."

"But Leia's only eighteen. He's almost thirty."

"Want my advice? Don't fight her on it. She'll rebel, and then you'll wind up talking to her husband in your den over a half-empty bottle of tequila. Let her decide if he's what she truly wants."

"Thanks, Nakai, I appreciate that.

Nakai grabs the bottle and stretches out on the other sofa. The L-shape configuration allow for the two men to share the bottle of tequila. Nakai laughs. He is officially drunk and so is Anakin.

"Anakin, I have a confession to make. I hired a private investigator to check out the source of your finances. I was relieved to find out you're clean. I didn't want my daughter caught up in any illegal mess you may have been involved in."

"No biggie. See? You found out I'm a clean-living guy. You're funny!"

"You're not pissed?"

"No. One of the things that Yoda taught me, was to let go of my anger. He told me to get rid of a lot of emotional baggage."

"Did you take that advice too?"

"Hell, no. I wasn't going to live like a monk. I want to have a good time. Now I'm happy. I've got great kids and a hot-ass wife. The things I can get her to do. She's a little wild thing once you get her going."

"What?"

"Uhmm…nothing…"

"Oh." Nakai pours more tequila and keeps missing the edge of the glass. Anakin raises his hand and uses the force to aim the bottle in the glass. "Oh, thanks, Anakin. Those powers come in handy for crap like this."

"Well, I don't want you wasting perfectly good tequila on the carpet. I want another shot." He pours himself another glass and drinks it in one gulp. He raises a finger as if there is something he wants to say. He is on his back resting his head against the pillows. "Ahhh! I have something to confess."

Nakai laughs out loud.

"Is it funny?"

"Funny as a Mustafar lava flow."

"Ok, let's hear it."

Anakin is giggling. "That day I drove Isabel over to talk to you."

"Yeah? So?"

"I waited outside in my car. I kicked your dogs' ass."

"What?"

Anakin slaps his thigh and laughs out loud and imitates a doggy growl.

"Grrrrrr…grrrrrrrrr. That new dog you got."

"Oh, him? That's the one I had my son sic on you because Skippy here wasn't doing his job."

"Yep! I whipped the crap out of that mechanical pit-bull. I'm the one responsible for sending him to doggie rehab! Woooo! That was funny as hell watching him waddle his bits and pieces back through the doggie door. Arf arf arf! Hahahahhahahaha! Oh, Man! That 'sith' cracked me up."

Nakai laughs

"That was you? I thought so but I had no proof. Anakin, you're a mess. How about another drink, son?"

"Don't mind if I do. Ooop! You almost spilled some. I've got the higher ground. I'll pour."

The two men finish the bottle then fall asleep. Anakin wakes up later. It is after midnight. He is covered with a blanket and his boots are on the side of the couch. Isabel's mother knew, once a bottle of alcohol was opened, no one would be traveling anywhere tonight. She brings two blankets from the downstairs linen closet and covers Anakin and Nakai.

He reaches for his mobile and calls the house. He leaves the room for a minute.

"Luke?"

"Yeah, Dad, Where are you? It's past midnight."

"We're still at Isabel's parent's house. Listen, sorry about tonight. If you need more time with your speech…"

"No. I'm happy with it. It's on your desk as promised."

"Oh. Oh. Well…good. Listen, we'll be home first thing in the morning."

"Did you have a good time?"

"Yeah. It was alright." Liar! He had a great time. Anakin didn't want to admit it but he actually enjoyed his _'bonding'_ moment with his new father-in-law.

"You had a good time or else you wouldn't be too drunk to drive. Get some sleep, Dad. I'm going back to bed."

"Good night, Luke."

"Goodnight, Dad. I love you."

"I love you too, Luke."

Anakin finds his way back to the couch in the dark. Skippy curls up on the floor close by. Anakin reaches to the floor and pets the dog.

All is right with the Skywalker universe.

Morning.

Anakin smells freshly brewed jawa. He sits up. He finds a robe and slippers on the coffee table near the couch. He takes a shower in the refresher near the den. He gets dressed and goes to the kitchen. Nakai has already gone upstairs to catch a few extra minutes of sleep after taking a shower upstairs. Isabel is sitting alone at the table. He walks over and caresses her shoulders and kisses her.

"Hey, are you feeling better? Good morning. I see you're slowing down and sticking to pera juice."

"I feel much better. I heard you and my father had a good time."

"Yes. We had a nice chat." He takes the carafe off the percolator and fills his cup. He was feeling better already. They walk out to the garden in the back of the house. Anakin touches her. He smiles.

"This kid keeps growing."

"He kept me awake last night. I can feel him. A lot."

"I love you."

"I love you too. I'm so proud of you. You couldn't do anything to make me doubt that you're a wonderful person and you really like my dad."

"I hope you trust me now."

"Of course I do."

"Let's go home."

Ouisanne and Nakai come downstairs to see the newlyweds off. There is no shortage of hugs and kisses.

"You kids drive safely. Anakin, son, it's good to see you. We have to spend some quality time together without a tequila bottle. How about a boat or canoe ride?"

"Sounds great. I would like that a lot…Dad"

"Give me some time to get used to that."

"Sure."

Anakin and Isabel head to the car. Isabel forgets something. She goes back inside the house.

Anakin waits inside the speeder. He is whistling to himself and patting his hand against the door was if he is waiting for something or someone. He looks around. He hears something dragging on the ground. He looks over the side of the speeder.

"Hey, pal! What's with all the gear?"

Isabel is inside the house. Her mother looks at her with concern.

"Isabel, did you forget something? Is everything alright?"

"I'm fine. I'll call you when we get home."

Nakai comes back from the kitchen.

"Isabel. Are you ok?"

"I just came back to say, thank you. Anakin really appreciates the way you have welcomed him into our family. Thank you, Daddy." She gives him a warm hug.

"I would do anything for you. Anakin's not a bad guy after all. I'm actually growing to like him. Be patient with me. Now, get out of here. Go!" He smiles as he sees her to the door.

She heads to the car. Anakin is standing at the passenger side again. He is holding open the door.

"Everything okay, Bel?"

"Yes. It's fine. Let's go."

"Yes, Ma'm. Let's go home." He looks around, then closes the passenger door.

He hops back behind the steering wheel and takes off. Isabel rests her head on Anakin's shoulder as he drives. Skippy is in the back seat leaning out the window letting the sweet morning breeze touch his titanium muzzle. He had laid low until after the speeder was well out of range of the neighborhood. His little titanium tail wags happily as he heads off to his new home.

They arrive home. Anakin walks through the door.

"Hey, kids, Daddy's home! Look what I've got."

Back at the Nor household, Nakai and Lil' Hellraiser are searching the house. Lil' Hellraiser barks frantically towards the end of the driveway. Nakai follows him. He scratches his head them mutters to himself. He returns to the house with Lil' Hellraiser in hot pursuit. The dish next to Lil' Hellraiser's _'food'_ dish is gone. Skippy's fetch ball and a bag of data chip snacks are missing. Nakai yells for Ouisanne to come out of the kitchen.

"Honey, call K-911, that Sith stole our dog!"

Skywalker Supermarket shopping list: Things to add - Super Puppy Droid Chow

Hoth Mountain Puppy Data Chip Snacks

Titanium Blue Milk Bone for Growing Dogs

NOTE TO SELF: Change puppy registration tags to read 'Skippy Skywalker'

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_To be continued… 'Skippy Come Home'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	67. Chapter 67 I Was A Jedi Academy Graduate

_Chapter 67_

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'_I Was a Jedi Academy Graduate'_

'_Come Back Little Sith-ba'_

"_I See Dead People'_

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Commencement time is fast-approaching. Luke is busy making vacation plans. He deserved some free time after all his hard work with his masters.

Anakin and Isabel were writing the last of the 'Thank you' cards for their wedding gifts. Everyone in the family was shocked that Gladys was the mystery gift-giver of the infamous margarita machine. The gift card was misplaced and it never occurred to them to think it was Gladys because she had already given them a gift of fine china and a 'Thank you' card had been sent.

Isabel couldn't believe Anakin had requested that ridiculous machine. He behaved like a child sometimes. And, yes, he tried to justify it as an _'office fixture'_. How was that a wedding gift? Anakin countered by explaining to his skeptical wife that he would not have to bring clients home to entertain them. He could do it at the office. He was 'thinking about her and their baby.' Isabel didn't buy this lame excuse but she let it slide. The only 'clients' who would be taking advantage of this bridal gift, this _'toy,'_ would be Anakin and his _business buddies_: Lando, Obi-Wan, Boba Fett and some gullible slob working in the pit at the command center.

Nakai called Isabel after the 'abduction' of Skippy that very day they left his home. Isabel only discovered what Anakin had done after they drove off. She did not condone the 'droid napping' but it was rather funny. Nakai tries to lay a guilt trip on them by saying he bought the mechanical pooch for his wife's birthday and explained how Mrs. Nor was terribly heartbroken to discover the family pet had disappeared. Anakin responded that Nakai neglected Skippy and now that the pooch was in a loving home, it would be cruel to return him.

Isabel decided she would not get involved and left it up to the two men to resolve the issue. Anakin further argued that the dog should be a gift for the new baby. Besides, the older siblings had already bonded with him. This was true. Luke found it relaxing to have the dog close by as he finalized his valedictory speech and Leia liked to dress it up with her hand-made crocheted _'whatsits.'_ It's what Luke called the so-called garments she created. He would laugh. He felt sorry for the baby already. Lopsided sleeves, ugly hats, lumpy booties. Skippy would trot around the house donning a bonnet and leggings. Anakin thought it was undignified. He demanded that Leia remove the horrible 'garments' immediately. Gladys had created a monster. Anakin joked and told Gladys that he would fire her for all the damage she has caused.

Leia was making 'garments' for everyone in the family. Anakin got a lumpy sweater with a matching lightsaber holder. Luke got a hat. All he needed was a loaf of bread to carry under his arm. Isabel got a throw blanket. Anakin thought it was pretty…pretty ugly. She even started making little gifts for the senior senate members. Anakin warned she might be expelled for bringing 'hazardous materials' into the building.

Han thought he was immune from the 'onslaught of yarn' because he was away on a mission with Chewy. Upon his return he was given a green and yellow crocheted vest. Han told her she was getting better with her cooking. He lied but it slowed her down. His contacts across the galaxy were laughing at him. He wasn't sure if he would rather be sick from her lack of culinary skills or embarrassed by the crazy handmade garments or _'whatsits'._ Han had an anagram for these items 'WTFIT' _(What The Eff Is This?)_

Anakin gets another call from Nakai negotiating for the safe return of the family pet. Anakin threw a wrench in the argument which made Nakai back off, "Are you going to deprive your unborn grandchild a pet?" It was a flimsy argument for keeping the hijacked pup but it sure did stop Nakai in his tracks and gave him _'pause' _to ponder the ramifications. He had to hand it to Anakin. The S.O.S (Son of a Sith) was a persuasive devil.

Threepio initially welcomed another droid in the Skywalker home. Upon their first meeting, he thought the little critter was delightful. "Well, hello there. I can talk K-9. I am familiar with several commands. What a sweet pooch. Hello there." Threepio goes into a cacophony of K-9 droid yelps and barks. Skippy responds happily and licks the protocol droid's face. "He's quite friendly. Look, he's hugging my leg. Wait…what's he doing? Hey…stop that."

Anakin, Luke and Leia watch as Skippy dry-humps the protocol's leg. Isabel leaves the room.

Artoo gets a good laugh at watching Threepio getting his bronze leg dry-humped by the pooch each day.

"Get away from me you little Mustafar Flea bag!"

The 'Mustafar Flea bag' was adjusting quite nicely. The finishing touches on the nursery were almost complete. Isabel was afraid to look even after giving the twins' full reign over the creative details. Anakin taunted her about it. 'You'll be sorry.' Skippy found just the right spot to rest. It is underneath the new crib in the nursery. He did this every night in anticipation of the new master.

Things were getting back to 'normal' in the Skywalker family. Anakin was back at the office; Gladys was still spooning out words of wisdom, and the same parade of characters was passing through the doors of Lord Vader's office. Luke was on an abbreviated schedule because he was busy working on his speech. Anakin told him to use the time wisely. He used the time to meet Mara for lunch in the Imperial commissary.

Luke finds Mara sitting in their new favorite location; a table overlooking the gardens. He saunters over wearing a smug grin.

"Waiting for your favorite Jedi?"

She plays coy.

"Yes, but he must be late. I can't wait all day. What brings you here?"

Luke thinks to himself,_ 'Two can play at this game.'_

"Well, all the respectable girls are taken. Mind if I sit here or are you waiting for a_ ' customer?'"_

"My customers wouldn't come to this dump."

"So, what's your rate? Two credits an hour?"

"Ohh, Luke, you have a mean streak. Now I know what your poor stepmother has to put up with."

"Don't talk about my family, you she-devil."

"Pinky"

"Oh, you want to play like that? Witch."

"Sit down, Pinky before you hurt yourself. You'll never win. So, how's the speech coming along?

"My father made a few more revisions."

"But I thought you said he liked it."

"He did, and then he said he wanted me to show my leadership abilities."

"Oh, please. He must be joking!"

"What? That I can't be a leader?"

"No! You dunce! It's not fair. He never let you lead."

"He wants me to show my potential as a leader so the Jedi Council will look back on this day and remember this speech. He says I could be a Jedi Master. And, for your information, you fire-breathing dragon, I have lead…during the trials. I got to spend a week with Jedi Master Nejaa Halcyon. He's a friend of my father. He almost died during one of the Clone Wars battles years before I was born. He's an amazing man. One of the few Jedi, my dad really connected with. I've learned so much from him. He let me initiate some tactical plans. It was cool. He said he might ask my dad if I could go to Praesitlyn with him."

Mara is finished teasing him for now. She sees he is truly serious about his future as a Jedi. She grabs a sand potato from his tray and dips it in the malt vinegar.

"I'm proud of you, Luke. I truly am. I hope you show up at my graduation next year."

"Why? Are you going to flash the Jedi Council? I might have to warn them about you, being that I'm an esteemed Jedi graduate-to-be. I'm respected."

"What? You're going to have them perform a pre-emptive strike on my big day? Why you little rat bastard." She giggles.

"I have to uphold the Jedi Code. I can't be seen with any dissenters, Mara. As hot and hip as you are, you can be bad for a guy's career."

"And just think; I was going consider letting you have _'graduation sex.'_"

"What? '_Consider?' _You're thinking about it?"

"That depends. I thought I owe it to you since we've seen so much of each other in the last couple of months."

"Wow, Mara…that's a big step…I don't know what to say. This is so sudden. I don't know if my dad will be too happy about it. But I'm down with it. We could keep it a secret."

"Luke. Luke. Luke!"

"What?"

She whispers across the table to him with a big smile on her face.

"Luke, I'm yanking your chain! What sort a girl do you think I am? I've never given anyone graduation sex."

"No?"

"Luke, you are so gullible. Look at yourself. Your face is as red a Mustafar lava lamp. And pick your bottom jaw up from the floor."

Not to be outdone, Luke quips back. He is a bit annoyed for being fooled. He decides he is not going to let her get away with this; the smart-ass, green-eyed, medusa. "Well, what sort do sex '**_do'_** you offer?"

"Luke, you are so funny."

He is not laughing. He is still embarrassed but this soon dissipates.

"You're an evil twisted witch. I hate you…So did you receive my invitation?"

"Yes, I received your invitation and I accept. Thank you."

"Cool. You're still an evil witch."

She looks at the food on his tray. She points.

"So, are you eating those mustarfries?"

"Why, you want some, _'Broom Hilda?'_"

"Yes, I do. So, are you going to eat them?"

"I bought them. What do you think?"

"No need to get snippy with me, Blondie. I can still smack you around."

"Fire-breathing Boga."

"Oh, Luke, Luke. You bitter, horny little boy."

She giggles and continues to eat the fries from his tray. He folds his arms across his chest and pouts.

"Hag. I don't know why I even hang out with you."

_Luke, Let's Have A Chat_

After lunch, Luke heads up to his father's office. He is still thinking about his lunch with Mara and does not give much thought to who may pop out of the offices as he makes his way down the hall. Governor Tarkin rarely showed his pasty face during the light of day so there was little chance of him running into that bloodsucking ghoul. Callista was running some useless errand for that gross senior intern Renfield. Suddenly, he hears the voice he dreaded.

"Luke? Is that you? Son, come into my office. It has been so long since I have seen you. It was your father's wedding to that lovely Isabel."

Luke stops cold, closes his eyes tightly. He opens his eyes again and turns. Nope! Not dreaming. Not hearing voices. He musters enough courage to smile. The Emperor waves Luke inside his office. That creepy look on Palpatine's face was enough to make Luke hurl up the mustarfries he never got to eat. He was surrounded by evil today. First that maiden of Satan Mara Jade and now her boss, the Emperor.

"Come inside, son. Yes, that's it. How is she, your lovely stepmother? It has indeed been awhile since I have seen you my boy."

"She's fine but you busted inside our house right after that, remember?"

"Oh, yes, that. I was a bit out of sorts that day. Your family was so kind to give me shelter; and the new baby? Things are coming along well I trust. Everyone must be thrilled."

"We are, yes, sir."

"Does it concern you at all that your trust fund might be in jeopardy? I see more children in the Skywalker household. This cannot be good for you and your darling sister; the sweet shy girl."

"Money does not concern me, Excellency."

"I'm relieved to hear that, Master Luke. Your father has raised you well." He tries another tactic. "Is Obi-Wan Kenobi visiting the house while your father is away? I thought I saw him around last Friday."

"What? You know my father works from home on Friday's. Obi-Wan is a close family friend. I don't like what you are implying. And you stll have not apologized for invading our home while my parents were away."

The Emperor is not having much success with Luke.

"Luke, Luke. I think you misunderstand me, son. I adore you and your family. I only want what's in my…your best interest. I can give you more power that you could ever imagine. If only you would give up this silly Jedi nonsense and rule by my side as my apprentice."

"What about Jar-Jar? He works with you. He could bring _'balance'_ to the universe or at the very least, to your checkbook."

"Are you on drugs, Luke?"

Luke decides he should take advantage of this moment.

"No, I'm just goofing about the Jar-Jar stuff, but he does a great impression of you. Heheheh."

"Luke, I want you to take me seriously. I need your help."

"You do? I can't get involved. I've got to get ready for my graduation ceremony. Look, I can refer you to Lando Calrissian. He can give you advice on relationships or whatever your problem is. You can get a restraining order if that blue fatal attraction chick is still after you…"

Jar Jar Binks enters the office. The emperor is annoyed that the Gungan has barged in on his discussion with Luke.

"Helloo Luke. Good en to see yousa . . ."

"Hi, Jar Jar."

"Oopsin da Emperor! So sorry, Your old Highness, sir."

"Jar Jar, I am busy with young Master Skywalker. Would you please not interrupt me while I am conducting business?"

"Business? Yousa not conductin' no business, your Imperial creepiness. Yousa trying to play young Master Skywalker for a fool."

The Emperor glares at Jar Jar with contempt. He is about to spray the Gungan with dark lightning but he does not wish to frighten Luke away. He is still angry however.

"What did you say?"

Jar Jar plays _'dumb'_

"What?"

"Mind who you are speaking to."

"Whosa?"

The Emperor gets caught up in the Gungan's double-talk and becomes confused.

"Whatsa…What?"

"Nuthin, Isa say nothun. Yousa no pay any attention to whatsa me sayin.' Jar Jar tink ol' Palpy gone senile and blind as a bat."

The Emperor loses patience.

"Get out!"

Luke is quietly listening to this banter between the Emperor and the Gungan and snickers to himself.

Jar Jar places a stack of papers and a small package on the Emperor's desk. The stack makes a loud thud as they are plopped in Palpatine's inbox. Jar Jar then turns to leave in a huff. Before closing the door he sticks out his tongue at the old man. Palpatine looks back at Luke with an expression of 'fatherly' concern.

"I know what has been troubling you . . . Listen to me. Don't continue to be a pawn of the Jedi Council! Luke, you poor boy. Look at you, toiling away unnecessarily over some absurd valedictory speech. What a waste of your talents."

"Well, it has been a bitch to write, but it's cool."

"Ever since I've known you, you've been searching for a life greater than that of an ordinary Jedi . . . a life of significance, of conscience."

"No I haven't. I was just looking to hang out with my friends and maybe get laid on graduation night."

"Only through me can you achieve a power greater than any Jedi."

Luke thinks the old guy is pretty intense right now. He decides to make light of the situation he is in.

"Nothing's greater than hanging out with a hot chick. I've got a really sweet deal otherwise."

"Use my knowledge, I beg you . . ."

Palpatine is losing his hold on the boy. He looks through the stack of papers then picks up the small package. He squints to make out the writing. The Label reads:

**Imperial Optical**

'_**We make Specs in a 'Sith' of a Second'**_

**_Darth Tyranus Shopping Maul_**

**_2600 Darth Plagueis Road_**

_**Coruscant 60666**_

Palpatine continues to try and sway young Luke but Luke has his mind on other things like 'getting the hell out of that office!' Palpatine releases a heavy sigh then looks up at Luke.

Luke's curiosity gets the best of him, however, so he tries to change the topic from his graduation to the package the Emperor is holding.

"Got a gift from someone?"

"No. Not really. My last eye exam revealed that I need reading glasses."

"Get out of town! Really? You used to have the best eyesight around!"

Luke was just yanking the Emperor's chain but the old man didn't care. He would take just about any flippant remark from the boy as long as he could get his undivided attention and join the 'dark side.'

Luke smiles and lathers on the charm.

"Oh, so you got new glasses. Try them on. I bet they look great on you. I hear that a woman loves a man who wears glasses. It makes him look intelligent. You would look like a g'damned genius! You might even convince me to join the dark side with those things. Come on; let's have a look-see, Palps!"

Luke could get away with murder at this point. The old man was falling for ever insincere word but Luke's boyish charm and innocent face had the Emperor gushing. Luke thought, _'Hey, if I have to be stuck in here with this coot, who is evil incarnate, at least get some entertainment out of it.'_

"Well, alright, if you insist. I want you to be brutally honest with me, Luke." He opens the box and removes a red velvet eyeglass case. He flips open the lid. He hesitates for a few moments. Luke waits patiently. The Emperor gingerly slips the spectacles on his face. He turns to Luke and waits for his feedback. "What do you think, son?"

Luke is almost compelled to jump back ten steps but he remains still. He bites his bottom lip to keep from laughing. He instead pretends to clear his throat. The laugh inside him is bursting to come out. The glasses are huge, thick black horn-rimmed with fisheye lenses making the Emperor's eyeballs appear like giant blue-grey marbles. Luke could practically reach out and flick one of the eyeballs with his fingers and score points. Luke tries very hard to focus and put on his poker face. The old goat reminds Luke of an aging talent agent. He has trouble getting the words out.

"H-how do they feel, Excellency?"

"Strange. I'm not used to having anything touch my face."

"No?" What Luke wanted to say was, _'No joke. Who would want to?' _ Instead, Luke smiles sweetly and says. "This is a side of you I never expected to see. It's amazing to see you like this. Can you see any better wearing them?"

"Well…"

"Let's test you." Luke grabs a sheet from Palpatine's stack of papers that Jar Jar had delivered to him. Oooh..interesting…read this!"

The Emperor never expected this but he reads anyway. Once he realizes what it is he stops abruptly and smiles.

'_Excellency, the Executive_Order Sixty-Six_ was transmitted to our operatives across the galaxy but… could not be carried out…'_ You know what, Luke? These glasses will do just fine. I don't need to read anymore. Thanks for your help, son. Let's get together another time. I have so much work to do. Look at the time." He quickly ushers Luke out of the office.

"Run along now. I'll see you at your graduation. In spite of it all, I am still proud of you, Luke. I knew you would be the best. The Jedi had no one better to rival you."

"Uhm…thanks, I guess."

Luke thought he would never get out of the office. That man was so weird. He couldn't wait to tell his father about the glasses. He had to stop by the Jedi Academy registrars' office to pick up his Jedi robe. He quickly stopped by to see his father before leaving to do this. Anakin listens to his son describe the glasses Palpatine was wearing. Anakin turns red from laughing so hard and tears well up in his eyes.

He warns Luke that the boy was treading on a thin lava bed by ridiculing the old man but it was funny.

Anakin then yells at Luke for goofing off and tells him to get a move-on before the registrar's office closes and he won't have his graduation cloak. Luke leaves the office immediately.

Meanwhile Palpatine is screaming on the COM link to someone about a failed Executive Order 66.

Graduation Day

The Skywalker home is full of activity. Gifts arrive for the young graduate. There was one from the Emperor. It was about to be placed in a closet next to the wedding gift. Luke and Leia forgot to give it to their father and Isabel. Suddenly Leia remembered and confessed to her father what she and Luke had done. Anakin takes it out onto the balcony and has Artoo test it for dangerous materials.

Artoo beeps and a green light goes off. Anakin removes the wrapping paper from the gift. What he discovers comes as quite a surprise. He brings it into the living room for Isabel to see. It is a six-thousand year old table clock. It was work millions. Anakin would make sure to write a "Thank you note with an apology. It was only right seeing that he gave them such an expensive gift and it was a good month or two after the wedding. Luke thought he had better retrieve his gift from the closet.

Still, no one trusted the old man so Luke employed Artoo's bomb-detecting and Sith –detecting services once more. Another shocker! Luke receives box containing the deed to Palpatine's private estate on his home planet of Naboo and a check in the amount of three thousand credits. The gift was overly generous. Luke is immediately suspicious. Anakin promises to investigate. Leia joked that he probably had an underground bunker somewhere on the estate. Maybe he was trying to get rid of some tax liabilities. Luke didn't care about the land but he did ask his father if he could keep the check. Anakin reiterates that he would hold onto it until he investigates fully.

Isabel was having her own strange moments. For the past few months she has been hearing voices. She was too embarrassed to tell Anakin. He would think she was crazy. She knew that Anakin, Luke and Leia would 'talk to 'people' but most of the time they _'force-talked.'_ Now she was hearing more than she bargained for. She goes into the kitchen to take her prenatal vitamin. As she is about to pour herself a glass of fruit juice, she sees the specter of Qui Gon. Suddenly she is pouring juice onto the floor and not in the glass. Anakin walks in just in time. He takes the carton from her. He catches her as she is about to faint. Qui-Gon quickly 'disappears.' Anakin is fuming. He force-calls the mischievous ghost.

"Qui-Gon, you get back here right now! Come out here, you coward. All of you. Now!"

Isabel is resting on the velvet chaise in the living room. A cold compress is on her forehead. She opens her eyes and grabs Anakin.

"Anakin, I saw something." Isabel points.

"I know. You're not crazy. ---Qui-Gon, I said now!"

'_Alright! You don't have to yell. We're dead not deaf. Is she alright?'_

Qui-Gon reappears. Anakin stares at his former master and mentor.

"Yes, no thanks to you."

Isabel points.

"Anakin…that's the ghost…"

"I know. Isabel, meet my old master, Qui-Gon Jinn"

Qui-Gon smiles and waves. _'Hello, Milady.' _

Isabel is still in shock but manages a delayed 'Hello.'

Suddenly she hears several other voices. They seem to be bickering about something.

'_Well, I don't see why we have to take the rap for his poor judgment. We haven't been popping up and rummaging through anyone's personal belongings. Aren't we supposed to be at rest?'_

'_Ki-Adi, you want to rest? Fine, so rest! No one will ever bother you. Will you stop complaining? We'll resolve this matter once and for all.' _

Mace Windu appears followed by Aayla Secura and finally, a stubborn Ki-Adi Mundi who is sulking. He is also fading in and out. Mace refers to this behaviour as Ki-Adi Mundi's _'passive-aggressive tactic to mess up their 'vibe'_

'_Anakin, we're all here and accounted for.'_

'Thanks, Master Windu. I take it you all know why I summoned you here.'

'_Yes, I know. 'Ol' Mister Happy Hippie' here thought it would be cool to pop in on the mortal. How is she?'_

"She'll be okay. Isabel, I would like to introduce you to Jedi Master Mace Windu, Jedi Knight Aayla Secura…"

'_Hello, Isabel. Glad to meet you.'_ Aayla rolls her eyes at Qui-Gon. He winks back at her.

'_Don't be mad at me, Aayla. You know you want me.'_

Anakin apologizes to Isabel."They are not all like Master Qui-Gon. They show some restraint…And here, late as usual, is Jedi Master Ki-Adi Mundi."

The curmudgeonly Master Mundi is somewhat perturbed at being described as 'late.' He recovers and bows reverently before Isabel.

"_Madame Skywalker. It is my pleasure to finally meet you formally. May I say that the wedding was splendid and you looked absolutely breathtaking?…and, I hope your first child is a masculine child…."_

Anakin raises his eyebrows and purses his lips. He sure was not expecting this. He interrupts the chatty ghost.

"Thank you, Master, Mundi."

Mace rolls his eyes. _'She doesn't have time to listen to all that. By the time you finish, the kid will be born. And where have you been? Everyone knows it's going to be a boy. How long have you been practicing that dumb speech?'_

'_I just wanted to say it. It was from one of those old movies we found in that time capsule. You know the one in the Jedi Temple entertainment room?'_

'_Oh, yeah. But you can't go quoting old movie lines. It's lame._ _I'm serious as a heart attack.'_

Qui-Gon raises his hand. Mace chuckles when he sees this.

'_You in school, Qui-Gon? Since when did you ever ask for permission to speak?'_

'_I'm being polite in front of the missus. Hey, Ani?'_

"Yes, Qui-Gon?" Anakin is not sure he wants to hear a question from Qui-Gon either.

'_Are you two going to let us baby-sit the little tyke?'_

Mace turns and looks incredulously at Qui-Gon.

'_What's this 'Us'? I never signed up for any babysitting duty. No, offense, Anakin, Isabel, but I, for one am not going to baby-sit your bad ass kids. I watched those two older ones growing up. That Leia was a bossy little thing and that Luke was wild as he could be. Always had his hands in something… and whined all the damned time! Still does.'_

Qui-Gon laughs and high-fives Mace.

'_That is true. Where did he inherit that whining fro…Oh.'_

Anakin folds his arms across his chest.

Mace continues.

'_So, to answer your question…Hell no. Sorry, Isabel'_

Anakin responds. He didn't remember asking anyone to baby-sit. "That's ok, Master Windu. I wouldn't think of unleashing my 'spawn' on you. Especially seeing that you're _'retired_' an all…"

'_Not that I couldn't handle the little demons. I can scare those bad kids into shape. I just don't want it to get in the way of my 'down time'. You understand.'_

"Of course. How about anniversaries and Isabel's birthday?" Anakin senses Mace is softening to the idea after all. He is curious to hear what the esteemed former Master will say next, so he eggs him on.

'_Tuesdays' and Fridays'. That's it. That's all I'll commit to.'_

"Six till midnight?"

'_Alright, you twisted my arm. As long as you come back home by ten the next morning but not later…I've got stuff to do.'_

Qui-Gon chimes in._ 'Like what?'_

'_Never you mind. Just give me a week's notice so I can get in the right frame of mind to take care of that bad kid. I know he's going to be a handful.' _Anakin understands their private joke.

Isabel is smiling now.

"My wife likes you, Master Windu."

Aayla speaks. _'I'll baby-sit, Anakin. I can dispense motherly affection.'_

Qui-Gon laughs.

'_You have affection but it ain't motherly!'_

Anakin rolls his eyes then smiles. He is flattered.

"As long as you and Qui-Gon aren't baby-sitting together. I don't want to come home to find my child running around on the terrace naked and you and Qui-Gon are making out on my desk in my study. Yes, I know about the two of you._ 'We can keep it a secret'_ I know that old line; I invented it. "

Anakin wasn't expecting this. He's not even sure he wants the ghost watching over a small child. The topic is actually quite entertaining, so he keeps it going.

"Ki-Adi-Mundi, did you have something to say?"

'I say put the little sith in a cage for a few hours. You don't need a sitter for that."

"Thanks, Master Mundi. I'll keep that in mind. Listen, we have to skedaddle. My son's graduating. I just wanted to introduce you to Isabel. Bel, are you ok with this now that everyone knows one another?"

"I'm fine. I think."

'_Hey, Ani, how come you haven't sent invitations to us?'_

"Are we going to start that again? Qui-Gon, I don't have time for this nonsense. You're ghosts. Who's going to stop you? You're going to show up anyway. We have to go. And do me a favor? Just because I've introduced you to Isabel does not give you free reign to pop up whenever you want. So take it easy on her. Especially you, Qui-Gon."

'_Take it easy, Ani, Ol' boy. It's not as if we're around all the time…You know what we mean.'_

"Okay, everybody out. Now."

Isabel looks at Anakin.

"Do they listen to you?"

"They had better. Come on. We have to get ready."

Later that morning Anakin and Isabel drive Luke to the Jedi Temple. Leia is getting a ride with Han. The Skywalker family section of the auditorium includes Anakin, Isabel, Leia's Han, Mara, Ruwee and Jobal Naberrie, Sola Naberrie and her husband Darred Janren , their daughters, Ryoo and Pooja, Ryoo's fiancé, Callista, Isabel's parents Ouisanne and Nakai, Lando Calrissian and his wife and Anakin's Secretary Gladys and her husband. Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen arrive last. _'Traffic,'_ Owen apologetically whispers to Anakin. Luke's other friends are in the seats directly behind them.

The Emperor is seated in a box with members of the senate. Blaster-proof glass has been installed to protect him from assassins.

The Jedi theme music plays as the ceremony begins. Ceremonial flags bearing the Jedi emblem ripple in the gentle breeze in the Jedi Ceremonial Hall. The members of the Jedi Council file in followed by Jedi Master Emeritus Obi-Wan Kenobi, President Adi Gallia, Jedi Master Yoda, Dean of Students, Jedi faculty and the graduating class. Anakin reads his program. He is proud to see Luke's name engraved in gold as valedictorian. He gently runs his index finger across the text.

Yoda looks out into the audience then back at the graduates and faculty. He addresses the graduating class:

"Greetings, losers…Today you're off, each of you, to start new adventures as a Jedi Knight. No longer Padawans, you are. All here you are because the Academy thinks you are all bright enough and powerful enough to save the galaxy from total destruction. The best and brightest you are…oh, sith, in great trouble we all will be. Heheheh…Look at you…young, attractive, just babies. …What a clueless bunch…The path to Jedi Knighthood does not come easily to all. Some of you had to repeat the trials…dumbasses. Look at every path closely and deliberately. Make certain choices you make are not in haste. Make certain the path does not lead to the dark side. There is no free pass to becoming a Jedi. No shortcuts, no crib sheets, no cliff notes. Hard work it takes.

When your entrance exam you took, a question was asked of you, _'Why do you want to become a Jedi?'_ Some of you wrote the following top ten answers:

_10. I want to see the galaxy_

_9. Nothing else to do on this rock I'm living_

_8. I heard the Twi'lek chicks are easy_

_7. My Uncle said it would build character_

_6. Beats dusting crops_

_5. You get great student discounts at the shopping maul_

_4. You get a cool robe and jack boots_

_3. The dark side sucks_

_2. The lightsabers come in four flavors…colors_

(Someone actually thought this)

And the number one reason you want to become a Jedi:

_1. I want to be a Jedi like my father_

"This one a long time have I watched. Never his mind on where he was…Hmm? What he was  
doing. Humph. Adventure! Heh! Excitement. Heh! A Jedi craves not these things. You are reckless!

I have had to rattle many an empty-headed Padawan coming to my office for counseling. You have all been reckless. And then proved yourself you did. This brings me to introduce you to the little numb nut that has been chosen as your valedictorian. He is the best, the brightest, the most giving. I have watched him grow from a youngling to the strong and talented young man he is today. He's actually going to give a speech." (He groans) "May the spirits have mercy on us all. He said he is full of surprises. This speech should be a doozy. Here to introduce him is your beautiful, well-respected and charming President and Dean, Jedi Master Adi Gallia."

"Thank you, Master Yoda." She bows respectfully to the old Jedi Master.

He whispers to her but some of the audience can still hear him over the microphone.

"You aren't offended by that remark, are you? Get your panties in a twist when a guy compliments you I know you women do."

"Master Yoda, you're almost 900 years old. Some things you just let slide." She gently pats him on the head. He smiles up at her and gushes.

President Adi Gallia says a few words before introducing Luke.

"I just want to say how impressed I am by this graduating class of Padawan who are moving up to the rank of Jedi Knight. I am truly proud of you all. Master Yoda was right when he said, _'The path to Jedi Knighthood does not come easy...'_ It's not meant to be easy. Only those with the talent and fortitude will make it. As your parents and friends have seen over the years, all of you have taken pains to get to this point. Many of you have sacrificed your free time to train countless hours. Some have taken a course of traditional studies in conjunction to their Jedi training to give yourselves a better understanding to the galaxy, and of your inner selves.

Although most of you do not yet know it, you are in the position to volunteer for self-sacrifice no less noble and no less anonymous than those Jedi before you. The reason you do not know it is that the future is always in motion, if I may again quote our revered Master Yoda. The really hard work is near. This is where the fun begins –Your parents have gone to great pains to make sure you know of the Jedi life other than the one some of you may have been born into. Others come from a long line of Jedi and don't know it. The Force will come easy for most of you. Some of you will become stronger sooner; for others, the Force will come in spurts. Don't worry. You will continue to grow and learn from your masters. All in all, I believe your training has been sufficiently bearable that you won't rise up and riot because you feel we were too hard on you."

This generates a few smiles and soft laughter from the graduates.

"Years from now, some of you will attain the rank of Master. When you do, hopefully you will reflect back on your years of training with renewed appreciation and pride. You will then offer up a hand to a Padawan or newly-appointed knight under your tutelage. Instill in them the knowledge and strength to follow the path towards the light.

No matter what becomes of them, you should never feel guilty that you have failed them somewhere during their training. If you have done these things, you have done your job. Becoming a Jedi has grown to have new meaning. The rules have changed somewhat but our credo remains the same.

Some of you will marry and raise a family; you will bring up your children in the Jedi ways. While a few of you will take on a more traditional role as a resident Jedi, and still some of you, _'The Dateless Ones'_ as most of you new graduates are jokingly fond of referring to those who will take a vow of chastity and join the monastery for a deeper meaning of life through meditation and healing. All of these choices are noble and require their own level of discipline. You are all Jedi no matter which road you take into the light.

I have decided to end this speech on a light note since most of you are questioning the future. Many of you have been heard in the halls asking,_ 'What happens once I graduate and move onto knighthood? What are the rules? What must I do to maintain respect of my contemporaries? Which codes apply to me?' _ Well, surprisingly many of you have fallen victim to a cruel hoax perpetrated by your younger masters who have graduated last year. The year before the same joke was pulled on them by the graduates before and so on.

So, let me make myself perfectly clear to those of you who are 'innocent' and 'gullible' enough to believe in the superstition that every graduate gets 'graduation sex.' And, by doing so, you will become a master sooner. Whoever is telling you this is yanking your chain. So, if you are waiting for that moment under the Endor moons, you'll be sorely disappointed."

This statement elicits some giggling in the new graduates section as well as from the audience. Han Solo murmurs under his breath to Leia. "Way to go, kid"

Leia nudges him and smiles. "Hey, that's my brother for you."

"What a sucker!"

President Adi Gallia continues.

"When the Jedi Council gathered behind closed doors to select a valedictorian to represent this graduating class, one name came up over and over again. This student gives a new meaning to what a Jedi is and can be. He once said to his martial arts instructor, "I'm full of surprises." He still is full of surprises. He is intelligent, caring, noble, courageous, a skilled lightsaber fighter and a loyal friend to his fellow Padawan. He has scored a perfect grade on his JATs and he has completed all ten Trials. I won't embarrass him anymore but I know his family is extremely proud of him. I present to you Luke Skywalker, Padawan valedictorian."

There is rousing applause. Palpatine stands and wrings his hands. Luke stands and walks over to the podium. He bows to the President and faculty. He takes a deep breath.

"Thank you, Dean Adi Gallia, Jedi Masters,...and, thank you, fellow graduates, family members, distinguished faculty and honored guests. It is my honor to share with you my thoughts and some important life lessons that I have learned while attending the Jedi Academy.

Fellow graduates, when we look back on today, we will know that we have walked together to help build the foundation for the rest of our lives.

For most of our childhood we, as younglings, walked down the halls staring at the padawan, Jedi knights and members of the Jedi Council. Our eyes would light up when they would walk by.

Our mouths would drop in awe not only at their amazing presence, but at their wisdom and bravery as well. We all aspired to become respected Jedi Knights and Jedi Masters. If only we could be that lucky. And then, without realizing it, we became the Padawans and we were suddenly being admired by younglings.

However, just like every other good thing, this time of being admired comes to an end. There are mixed emotions about this end. For some there will be tears of sorrow because we are leaving this great place and these great people for other places in the galaxy.

Still for others, there will be tears of joy shed because they finally have their ticket out of here and move on to more challenges and responsibilities such as serving on the Jedi Council as interns.

We look to the day when we too will be part of the illustrious club in that tower on the upper level where the Jedi Masters and members of the Council make wise decisions on the fate of the galaxy and how to bring balance to the Force. Yet, we all have one thing in common. We all nervously anticipate what the Heavens have in store for our future.

Kaja Sinis says in his writings, 'In his heart a man plans his course, but the Force determines his steps.' So today, our dreams of success and greatness become the fuel behind the Force that will take us into the rest of our lives. Without our dreams we will be lost. However, we must remember who is really in control of our lives. We will never realize true contentment and success until we understand that the only true success comes from the Force and our families who keep us humble.

When this view of our galaxy is understood, then our dreams become the will the Heavens. '_Our focus determines our reality.' _My father's mentor spoke these words to him many years ago when he was a young boy. It was a time when he was losing focus and his mentor guided him back to that peaceful place. There were times when I almost lost my focus in the swamps of Dagobah. Master Yoda reminded me about maintaining my focus enough times that it has stayed with me. A poke in the gut with a gimer stick over a half dozen times is a great incentive too!

I learned so many things from my experience as a Padawan. It was never easy. One thing especially sticks out in my mind during that time. Sometimes our failures are actually just the beginning of a Jedi's success. For every time we feel as if we have failed as Padawan, there will be another time when we feel content with what we are doing.

I feel I have been blessed. I have had the good fortune to attend a prestigious institution, making new friends and learning from amazing Jedi. I feel confident that I can go out into the galaxy and make a difference. I believe I can speak for all of us in this graduating class have nothing to regret from our time here. Although I know there were times when we all felt like it was a bad idea especially when taking one of Jedi Fisto's exams or the tests of discipline from the caves conducted by Master Yoda.

As the class of 7005, we have the potential of having a profound difference on the galaxy. I'm confident that we can shine our light in the galaxy with the Force. We can accomplish great things because we have the love and support of our families, friends and our faculty, but I would like to leave you with this last thought, Let not the wise Jedi tell of his wisdom or the master boast of his skill or strength, rather let us boast about how we respect the Force and how it has improved our life and brought us closer to our family. Let this be our goal and may the Force be with us all."

**Luke Skywalker Valedictorian, Class of 7005**

'_**I Am Proud to Present to You the New Jedi Knights, Class of 7005'**_

As Dean and President, Adi Gallia presents the class and announces the name of each graduate, the audience stands and explodes with a round of applause. When Luke is called to receive his honors award and diploma, he receives a rousing standing ovation, especially from his family and friends. Han, Leia, Mara, Biggs, Luke's two cousins, C3PO and R2D2 cheer loudly. Anakin stands and applauds his son.

What shocks Anakin is that his kids have corrupted his sweet wife when she joins them in a rowdy finger whistle. Anakin stares down at her then shakes his head in amazement. He touches her belly as she whistles again. Luke raises his fist in the air as President Gallia clips his padawan braid and hands it to him. He holds it up for everyone to see.

Han howls cheerfully, "Woohoo! Go Luke! No one's going to ride your ass now! You're the man!"

Anakin leans over when he hears the voice that causes him to grind his teeth in his sleep at night. Luke's grandparents turn. They are also looking in Han's direction. Han shrugs with that cocky grin he is so famous for. "Sorry." He whispers to Leia. What's the deal with gramps? He's grumpy."

Leia looks down at her feet and giggles. "He's a serious man."

"Well, he needs to lighten up. It's a celebration not a tax audit. Does he ever laugh?'

"Of course he does. I just can't remember when."

Obi-Wan makes eye-contact with Anakin in the audience. He smiles at his former Jedi apprentice and points to Luke. He Force-speaks to Anakin:

'_Anakin, you have redeemed yourself with this wonderful boy.'_

Anakin wipes a tear from his eye. He is truly proud of his son. Luke was in for one Hell of a graduation party tonight.

The Emperor's new glasses are all fogged up and his eyes are misty. He is proud of Luke too. Thank Heavens he didn't try to finger-whistle.

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_To be continued… 'Anakin's Baby Boga has a Kick-ass Party'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	68. Chapter 68 Jedi Graduate, Party On!

_Chapter 68_

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'_Anakin's Baby Boga has a Kick-ass Party: Jedi Graduate, Party On'_

'_Never Come Between a Pregnant Woman and Her Food '_

'_A Moon With A View'_

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After the ceremony the guests mingle, and families rejoin their young graduates. Luke joins his family at the Jedi Temple reception. There is no shortage of hugs and kisses and congratulatory remarks.

Luke sees his grandmother Jobal and hurries over to her. She is teary-eyed but smiling.

"Luke, Let me look at you. You're beautiful. Congratulations. I am so proud of you. Your mother would be so proud too."

"Thanks, Oma. Why are you crying? You should be happy."

"I am happy. You're my beautiful grandson. I can't believe you aren't the little boy anymore who used to curl up in my lap to listen to a bedtime story. You're a graduate now."

"Do I look grown up?" He stands straight like an Imperial guard to make her laugh.

"Sort of. You still have that boyish face. And you still have your hair in your eyes. Luke, what am I going to do with you?" She sweeps his hair off his forehead and fusses over him. Luke is embarrassed but he tries not to complain.

"Well, I got a haircut today. See?" He tilts his head so that she can see where his Padawan braid has been clipped. This makes Jobal stop crying. She laughs as her only grandson clowns around to make her feel better.

Leia walks over to hug her grandmother. She takes Luke's diploma and his honors award as her uncle Darred Janren takes a holograph of them. Ruwee joins them with the rest of the Naberrie family. Anakin is not far away, chatting with President Gallia and Obi-Wan. Luke wants everyone in the picture. Luke waits. Gallia was on the Jedi Council when Qui-Gon brought Anakin before them for the first time. The striking Jedi Master seems not to have aged in all these years.

"So, how are you Anakin? It has been awhile. Master Kenobi tells me you have been doing well."

"I'm quite well, thank you, Master Gallia. It's an honor to speak to you. Your speech was moving and very impressive. We are so humbled that Luke has been chosen to speak today. Oh, have you met my wife? Isabel, I would like you to meet Master Adi Gallia."

Isabel is about to bow but Gallia stops her.

"Please, don't. It really is not necessary. I heard wonderful things about you from Master Kenobi and Master Yoda. And congratulations are in order. We will have another Skywalker in the wings to become a Jedi. Good work, Anakin. Isabel, you must be thrilled."

Isabel finds great ease in speaking to the high-ranking Jedi Master. Anakin smiles and lets the two women chat.

"We are thrilled but we are truly happy today for Luke. He was telling me how pleased he was that you were going to speak today."

"You should be proud of Luke. He has worked so hard these past few months. I must tell you, Anakin, he was afraid you didn't think he was applying himself."

Anakin blushes. "I know. He sort of alluded to that during his first draft of his speech. He knows I'm proud of him."

"I believe I read that same draft."

"He showed you that? I'm so embarrassed."

"Don't be. It was honest and funny. I know what direction you wanted him to take. I assure you, he wrote an amazing speech. I thought the first paragraph in the rough draft was quite amusing, however, I did suggest he change it a bit."

"That's my boy."

Just then, the four Force-Ghosts appear across from where Anakin and Isabel are standing. Anakin sees Qui-Gon from the corner of his eye. He ignores him as he continues his chat with Master Gallia. Anakin suspects the Force-ghost is up to some shenanigans.

Qui-Gon rubs his hands together and smiles. Ki-Adi Mundi watches him. Qui-Gon is scheming. He finally speaks.

'_Oh, my Heavens!'_

Ki-Adi Mundi watches the mischievous fellow Force-ghost._ 'What now?'_

'_Ooohh, what a woman. …I've got to talk to her.'_

'_Are you serious?'_

'_Serious as a heart attack. Thanks for that one, Mace.'_

Mace looks at Qui-Gon then looks to see who he is targeting._ 'Qui-Gon, aren't you forgetting something?'_

'_No, I don't think so.'_

'_Didn't you try to hit on her years ago before she became a Master?'_

'_So?' _

Mace gives Qui-Gon one of those, '_Don't make me say, I told you so.'_ looks.

'_Ok, …go ahead and get shot down. Women don't forget. And you had better watch out for someone else.'_

'_Who?'_

'_ME!' _Aayla appears and scowls at him_. 'What are you up to?'_

'_I'm just going to say 'Hello! Relax…we're still good. Go mingle, woman.' _He waves his hand as if to brush her off.

Mace is interested to know what will happen when Qui-Gon attempts to hit on the esteemed Jedi Master once more. Qui-Gon appears before Adi Gallia. Anakin rolls his eyes and rubs his forehead. Qui-Gon winks at Isabel, then bows to Gallia.

'_Dean Gallia, My, aren't you ravishing today! It has been awhile.'_

"Qui-Gon? I thought I noticed you and Mace Windu in the faculty section during the ceremony. What brings you here?"

'_Graduation crasher. Anakin didn't give us invitations.' _He eyes Anakin as he makes this _'fact' _known.

Anakin becomes defensive. He thinks to himself: '_Why, of all the nerve! That degenerate, trouble-making ingrate! After all I've done for him'._ Anakin is furious but he decides he should not let this ruin his day. His son has just graduated. It was time to put bad feelings aside…maybe.

"Listen, I told you…"

'_Relax, Ani, I'm just messing with you. So Adi, Sweetheart, you don't happen to have that sexual harassment thing still hanging over my head, do you?'_

'No, Qui-Gon. I withdrew the complaint after your murder.'

'Thank you. I was getting really annoyed when the Coruscant News reported it as a 'Gang-related street brawl-turned bad.'

'Don't worry about it.'

'_Honey, you know, you are still hot. You are one fine woman…If I were still alive, I could….'_

Suddenly, Qui-Gon is interrupted in the middle of his flirtatious attempt to hit on the Jedi Master.

'_There you are! You two-timing….oooh!'_ Aayla is fuming then turns away.

Obi-Wan steps in to calm things.

"My dear, departed master; why don't you go tend to Miss Secura? I believe you have some explaining to do."

Qui-Gon can't believe his former Padawan, now an old man, is telling him what to do.

'_Why you old…never mind.' _He politely bows to Master Gallia then turns to leave, fading into the Force. He can be heard calling to Aayla, begging for her to wait. He jokes and begins serenading her like a gondolier. _'Hey, Aayla Secura...why-a youa be-a so-a in-se-Cura? You-a know-a Imma justa crazy abouta you-a. Comma ona back and giv-a yousa Qui-Gon a bigga baccia'_

Master Gallia points in the direction where Qui-Gon has made his sudden exit and looks over at Obi-Wan. She has an expression of confusion and amusement on her face. Obi-Wan smiles and shrugs.

'The afterlife can become somewhat ponderous. A Force-Ghost needs a diversion every once in awhile." He laughs nervously. Master Gallia listens then nods as she begins to understand.

"So, Aayla and Qui-Gon are…"

"In a matter of speaking. Yes. Skelping the living is another one of his pastimes."

"I see." Master Gallia sees Luke waiting patiently. She takes Anakin by his other arm and joins him and Isabel for a group holograph. Luke thanks her as he acknowledges that she has other families waiting to chat with her. She continues to make her rounds to the other graduates and guests. She has a few private words with Luke before she moves on.

"Luke, you have no idea how happy you have made your father today. I'm also pleased to have you stay on at the Jedi Temple working under the tutelage of Jedi Master Halcyon. We're expecting great things from you."

"Thank you, Master Gallia."

"Now go enjoy yourself."

Meanwhile, Ruwee Naberrie walks over to Anakin, who is suddenly alone, and shakes his hand. Anakin has not expected this. He was actually looking for Luke. He has yet to get a moment alone to speak to his son.

"I must admit, Anakin, you've done a wonderful job. You never fail to surprise me."

"I guess I'm like Luke, 'I'm full of surprises."

"Perhaps. Oh, I want to thank you for the letter you sent along with the 'Thank you note. I'm glad you liked the wedding gift."

"Isabel and I will cherish it. It was very kind of you."

"Nakai has a great daughter. You be good to her."

"I will, I promise."

"So, what did you get my grandson as a graduation gift?"

"It's a big surprise."

"As big as mine?"

"I'm not sure, sir. You think it could be?"

"I think we're going to continue to try and outdo one another for years to come."

"I look forward to the competition." Anakin returns a crooked smile. He was relieved for the first time in years that he didn't tense up so much in the presence of Ruwee Naberrie. This was a happy day after all. Anakin finally spots Luke just a few feet away. He makes his way over to chat with him but is interrupted by another well-wisher.

After the family picture-taking session, Luke's friends join him. Biggs and Han head over to greet him. Han is stopped by Lando. They start talking. They finally start to walk over together to see Luke.

Biggs maneuvers his way through the crowd and reaches Luke first.

Luke smiles as he sees his old friend.

"Biggs, I thought you couldn't make it."

"I wanted to surprise you, hot shot. I thought you looked great up there giving that kick-ass speech."

"So, you liked it?"

"It was cool. Your father was really into it. He looked so proud. You were the 'Man' up there today! Everyone on Tatooine is really happy for you, kid. Your uncle Owen hasn't stopped talking about you to the farmers association."

"That reminds me, I have to go find him. Excuse me. It's good to see you, Biggs. Are you coming to my party later?"

"I wouldn't miss it."

Luke looks around for Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen. He instead runs into Han. The scruffy nerfherder greets the new Jedi Knight with a grin and a bear hug.

"Hey, pal, you pulled it off! Come over here you Baby Boga and give me a hug!"

"Hello, Han. Are you coming to the dinner before the party?"

"I wouldn't miss it kid. Did you hear us out there in the audience?"

"Oh, that was you guys? How embarrassing."

"You loved every minute."

Leia walks over to her brother and kisses him on the cheek. She is still holding onto his diploma.

"So, now you're a Jedi. I bet that was worth more to you than money."

Luke thinks for a minute then he smiles.

"Well…just kidding. Hey, where's Dad? I've got to talk to him."

"Relax, he's around here somewhere."

"I keep missing him."

Meanwhile, Anakin is looking around in the crowd. Luke is across the reception area looking around as well. Suddenly someone waves a hand in the mass of people. Luke cranes his neck to see who it is. He turns to find his father but someone grabs his arm. It is the Emperor.

"Luke, congratulations, my boy. Come chat with me where it's quiet."

"But…I was trying…"

"Yes, I know."

They wind up near a secluded entryway of the Jedi Temple reception room. Two red-cloaked Imperial guards flank them. Luke is nervous.

"Luke, don't look so worried. I just wanted to have a private moment with you, son."

"People are waiting for me, Excellency. I have to see my parents."

"You will. Let me look at you, Luke. What a beautiful boy you are. So kind, so bright. You know, if this Jedi thing doesn't work out, there will always be a place for you by my side.

"That's very generous of you, Excellency, but I'm quite happy where I am."

"Luke! There you are!"

"Lando!

Lando appears from out of nowhere. The emperor is annoyed but manages a faint smile as he looks over at the General.

"General Calrissian, I was just congratulating young Master Luke on his brilliant commencement speech."

Lando bows then places his hand firmly on Luke's shoulder.

"Excellency, I apologize for stealing the most popular graduate of the day but he needs to do something important at the moment."

Palpatine grimaces. He does not like this at all. He returns a crooked smile then pats Luke on his face.

"I see. Well, I will see you later then."

Luke shrugs then leaves with Lando.

"Lando! Boy am I glad to see you!"

"Let's get you out of here. By the way, congratulations, Jedi Skywalker."

Luke likes the sound of this. He smiles proudly.

"Thank you. How is Madame Tendra?"

"She's doing well, thank you. You'll see her at dinner."

The two return to the gathering. Owen gives Luke the 'thumbs- up when he sees him then tells him he will see him at dinner. Luke notices they are heading out of the Jedi Temple reception room.

"Lando, where are we going?"

"To meet your father."

"He's left already?"

"He had to take care of something. Relax, Luke, everything's fine."

Luke follows Lando but he is hesitant. He continues on and boards Lando's speeder.

"Does he realize we're having dinner soon? I have a party tonight."

Lando laughs softly.

"Oh, he knows. He doesn't want to get in the middle of your fun."

'I suppose it's useless to ask you where we're going..."

"Luke, your father gave me specific instructions."

"Okay, if you say so."

"I say so." Lando smiles not giving Luke a hint as to where they are heading.

The ride lasts only five minutes. They stop at a private docking bay. Luke jumps out of the Speeder. He hears voices. Suddenly he smiles when Anakin appears to greet them.

"Lando, did he make you crazy on the way over?"

"No, he actually cooperated. I was shocked. I thought it would be a lot tougher to get him here."

Luke smiles.

"I thought if Lando was dragging me away from the reception then there had to be a good reason."

Anakin gives Luke a wry smile then puts his arm around Luke. Lando follows them to a docking space in the hangar. What Luke sees is amazing. He walks ahead of his father. He slows down. Anakin looks in the same direction.

"So, Luke, what do you think?"

"Dad…is this?...No way….What a …"

Someone appears in front of them to finish his sentence.

"No, Junior…It's not '_a piece of junk'_ like the Falcon. It's a beauty. Luke, you're the luckiest kid in the galaxy."

Han walks out from under the belly of the craft. He runs his gloved hand along the side. Luke walks over to the starship. It is shiny and silver and new.

"This is amazing. Dad…I can't believe it."

"Don't let Yoda hear you say that. So, do you like it?"

Han chimes in. "I like it! Fresh from the shipyard. This baby's not even on the market yet. You have Lando to thank for pulling some strings."

Lando smiles. Anakin nods in agreement.

"Lando, you went beyond the call of duty for this. This is a magnificent ship. The craftsmanship is impeccable."

"Anything for a friend. It's fully loaded…all the bells and whistles. It's quite a ship, 30.2 meters long, has laser cannons, proton torpedo launcher. It's a Class 0.2 hyperdrive Mach Force III. It's state of the art, fit for a Jedi Knight."

Luke is in awe of the ship's beauty.

"This is the best gift yet. Wow. Thanks, Dad!"

"You're quite welcome. Congratulations, Jedi Skywalker. Come here and give your dad a hug."

Luke hugs his father. Anakin kisses his son and holds him close. He smells the fresh citrus scent in Luke's hair. It reminds him of something familiar.

"Luke, have you been using my shampoo?"

Luke hesitates for a second before answering.

"Yes. I ran out. You wouldn't want me appearing on the graduation podium with scruffy hair, would you, Dad?" He looks over at Han. "No offense, Han."

"None taken, sport."

Han looks over at Lando as if to say, _'Can you believe the nerve of this kid?'_

Lando and Han wait while Anakin savors the moment with his first-born son. He almost sheds a tear until Luke takes that jab at Han. Anakin regains his composure and cups Luke's face in his hands and chuckles.

"I love this kid. Come on; let's take a look at this ship."

The four men board the ship after Anakin hands Luke the remote to unlock the hatch.

"You have to invite us onboard first, Jedi Skywalker." His father winks.

"Are you serious? You guys were probably onboard already touching all the controls."

Han holds up his hands.

"Don't worry, Junior, I was wearing gloves the whole time. I wouldn't want to get my scruffy nerfherder fingerprints all over your new ship."

Luke is like a child on Befana Eve. He sits at the pilot's seat and adjusts the chair then plays with the controls on the board. The plastic film is still on them. Great, no fingerprints! The Kuat Systems Engineering manufacturers' tag is still on the power switch. The print is barely dry. He runs to the passengers' quarters and the sleeping cabins. Anakin watches his son in much the same way Luke is enjoying this, like a child. Lando whispers to Anakin, 'Think he's found the entertainment system yet?'

They both hear an excited child jumping with glee in the next area of the ship.

"There is one, there is one!"

Anakin grins, "He's found it."

Han turns to Lando after hearing Luke in the back yelling excitedly. "Lando, this is from a kid who still drinks Rodia soda. Par for the course."

Anakin hears them but he doesn't care. He is excited for his son. "He'll settle down. Let him enjoy his moment on '_Cloud City'_."

Han turns to Anakin, "So, Mr. V, will you adopt me? Being encased in carbonite again might be worth it if I get a sweet deal like this."

"No, I couldn't do that to you again, Mr. Solo. My daughter likes you too much." He calls out to Luke. "Luke! We have to head over to the dinner. You are, after-all, the guest of honor. You can play with your toy later."

"Okay, Dad." He re-appears from the passenger lounge and rejoins his father and friends. They get back into their vehicles and head to dinner.

Leia is already in the private dining room of the restaurant with her grandparents, Isabel, Uncle Beru and Uncle Owen, the other relatives and a few close friends and guests. Anakin thought Palpatine would decline the invitation to the Jedi graduation dinner, but the old 'cloven-hoofed' coot accepted. Damn! Anakin was certain he would not have to deal with this man tonight. At least he didn't bring along _'Cyanide-Blue Sue' She really gives him the creeps._

The 'Magnificent Four' arrive late. Isabel knew why. It was a _'Boys and their Toys'_ moment.

Isabel couldn't wait to eat. She was starving and the baby inside her is very active. She was busy munching on the crudités that were in the center of the table. Mara is sitting across from her. The platter was full just a few minutes ago. Isabel has gone through it like a buzz droid. A waiter arrives to remove the empty platters in preparation for the actual meal. Isabel is in the middle of a conversation with Gladys when she sees the platter being taken away.

"Hey, hey, hey! Put that back!"

"Would Madame like to wait for the first course?"

"I don't know what Madame wants but I want that platter."

"But, Madame, it's almost empty."

"Hand me the platter." She takes the platter from the waiter and slides all the remaining veggies onto her bread plate. It is piled into a mound on the small plate. "Now you may see if _'Madame' _would like to wait for the first course."

The waiter looks bewildered. Leia realizes he is doing his job but he was just a bit too efficient. She instructs him to leave everything until all the guests arrive. This was not the time to upset a pregnant woman with a baby that has a high midi-chlorian blood count. Between the hormone-induced mood swings and the baby, Isabel was not one to be toyed with right now. There would be times when even a powerful Sith-Lord would think twice about annoying his wife.

Anakin leans over to kiss his wife. She is munching on a carrot stick.

'Hey beautiful, I'm back."

"Uhm- hum."

As Anakin is about to take his seat, a waiter pulls out his chair for him. Anakin stops to look at the man. It is a human-cyborg, as it turns out , all the waiters are. If Anakin had not seen the waiter pull out the chair, he would have been on the floor. Anakin pulls himself closer to the table, the waiter 'helps.' Anakin holds up his had and smiles. "Thank you I got it."

Dinner is finally served. Anakin takes Isabel's champagne glass. He is chatting with President Gallia, who has accepted his dinner invitation.

"Master Gallia, we should talk some more after dinner. Master Kenobi will fill you in on a project I am working on."

"Say no more, Anakin. I know."

Meanwhile, Palpatine is clear at the far end of the table with Uncle Owen, Aunt Beru and The Naberrie's. Owen is bending the Emperor's ear about farming subsidies and how the Empire should free up more funds for incentives. Palpatine is slowly getting drunk. Isabel's father fills the Emperor's water glass with Tequila. Palpatine is trying to get Luke's attention but he is constantly interrupted by Owen's diatribe on farming. Nakai is having the time of his life watching the Emperor become inebriated. Anakin knew what he was doing when he took charge of the seating arrangements. He knew it would be difficult for Palpatine to read him as he chatted with the Jedi Masters about changes in the government. The Tequila that Nakai and Anakin drank was 76 Proof. This bottle is 92 Proof. It was guaranteed to turn the brain into glue.

Back at Anakin's end of the table, the conversation drifts into reminiscing about the old days when Anakin was a small child. They start discussing Qui-Gon. Anakin is eating his dinner but he looks down and his food is disappearing. Isabel has been eating from his plate. Anakin has barely eaten a forkful of food and now his plate was almost clean. Isabel smiles at him and points to the lone Portabella mushroom on his plate.

"Were you going to eat that?"

"Why? Are you eating for three now?" He smiles and strokes her hand as he holds it to his chest.

"Your food was getting cold."

He asks the waiter to refill his plate as well as Isabel's. Anakin is in a deep discussion with some of the guests. Isabel feels left out. She is getting bored as well. Her husband was talking Jedi affairs with the President of the Jedi Academy and Obi-Wan. The twins are chatting about the party. Gladys and her husband were chatting with Lando's wife.

Anakin senses how she is feeling. He places his hand on her belly. He continues his discussion.

The twins prepare to leave the table. Luke thanks everyone.

"I just want tot thank everyone for coming today. It's been great. I especially want to thank my parents for arranging this awesome family dinner. Master Gallia and Master Kenobi, thank you for joining us. This is a special day that I will remember for the rest of my life. I am truly blessed."

Obi-Wan raises his glass, everyone else follows his lead. "Here, here. You should be proud, my boy." He points to Luke as everyone listens. "This is our future."

Luke smiles but he feels somewhat saddened.

"I wish Master Yoda was here."

"Relax, young Skywalker. I'm here. Had to make my rounds to all the after-parties. You're the last one on my list. What's for dessert in this place?"

Anakin pulls up a chair for Yoda. The waiter competes for control of the chair. Anakin rolls his eyes. "No dinner, Master?"

"No. Filled up with enough rubber duck dinners, I am. Ready for a decent dessert, yes."

"Well, there is plenty of that to go around. Isabel hasn't raided the dessert tray…yet." He kisses Isabel to prove to her he is only teasing. Yoda settles in his chair and smiles at Isabel. He murmurs something to the baby inside her then chuckles to himself.

"So, off to fun and frivolity this evening, hey young Jedi?"

"Yes, Master Yoda. I'm having a party. We're heading over there now."

"Have fun, young Skywalker."

Anakin has rented out the Bear Clan Club where the walls are lined with images of Padawan who became great Jedi knights. Luke and Leia walk over to Anakin and Isabel to say, 'Goodnight.' Anakin embraces his daughter. He sees Han standing directly behind her.

"Are you the chaperone for these 'youngsters, Han?"

"Well, if I said Leia is going as my date, would that be a bad thing?"

"Just make sure my kids and their friends don't wind up in police custody before the night is through. You are the oldest one there, you should set an example."

"Yes, Sir, Mr. V."

"Leia, you had better be wearing the same dress fastened the same way when you return home."

Leia is embarrassed. She whispers to him.

"Daddy! That was so not necessary." He kisses her. "Watch it. Don't smudge the make-up." She whispers to her stepmother. Isabel, keep him happy and distracted tonight. Please?"

"I'll keep him in line."

Anakin is not through. He sees Mara. "Well, look who it is, the young lady who made my private skybox at the sports arena a famous tourist attraction for visitors from across the galaxy. Think you can behave yourself?"

"Yes, Sir. I believe I can."

"Alright then. Move it along. I want to talk to my son for a moment."

Mara gives Isabel a hug. "How do you live with him?"

"I try not to think about it. Have a good time, Mara."

Anakin is now face-to-face with Luke. "Well, young man, you know what I expect from you. Don't disappoint me and make me get out of bed to bail you out of jail."

"Dad! Why would I do that?"

"You're a bright boy but you still do dumb stuff. I love you. Have a good time. Congratulations."

"Thanks, Dad. My night will never be the same after this chat. Do I bow now and kiss your ring?"

"Keep talking and I'll sit with you at that party. Don't make me embarrass you tonight. I know you're cooking up some high-jinks tonight. Don't make me regret setting this party up for you. I trust you'll behave like an adult."

"Gee, I wonder what that's like."

Anakin tries not to laugh at Luke's smart-aleck remarks.

"Get out of here. Hand me that diploma first…and the award. I don't want you using it as a coaster. Too bad you didn't get to keep the part of the speech in where you claim I'm _'riding your ass._'"

"That's okay, Dad. I think it's common knowledge now." Luke laughs then pats his father on the shoulder. He looks over at Isabel. He grins and gives her a warm hug and kiss. He can feel the baby moving inside her. "Isabel, this kid is trying to escape. He knows who his father is and he's scared." He giggles.

Isabel laughs. "Oh, Luke, cut it out. You're so silly. Have a great time tonight. I love you." She takes his Jedi robe.

"I love you too. Thanks for everything… 'Mom'"

The children leave. It is only the adults left at the table now. The Naberrie cousins join the twins and their friends for the ride over to the night club. Nakai has worked his magic. Palpatine is drunk and crying that Anakin is like a son to him but doesn't confide in him anymore. He reveals some interesting things about his personal life and some insider secrets about the Empire. Nakai is having a field day with this.

"I told her we were never exclusive but she refuses to listen. Now she's talking marriage and says if I don't hop-to, she's going to file a palimony suit and ask for half my wealth. She says she devoted her entire career to me. If she gets away with this, it could ruin me"

"You're screwed, old man. Here, have another drink. It will calm you down. So…tell me more about this Order Sixty-Six?'

"I've used it in the past with great success but, lately I can't seem to get competent people to execute it."

"Maybe you need to create something new. When was the last time you used it?"

"About 18 years ago. I had Anakin at my side, but now he's doing his own thing. He tells me he needs his space. I've been so good to the boy."

"Ever think of retiring? You need a vacation. Leave this place. Join a retirement community. Get into an exclusive golf club. That's it. Those places are full of dicks like you."

"Perhaps you're right….Wait, what did you say?"

"Have another drink." He gently pushes another shot glass in front of the old man.

Meanwhile, at the party Biggs, Wedge and some other friends welcome Luke as he arrives at the club. Biggs acts as the M.C.

"…And here he is, fresh from his walk down the Jedi halls, after a kick-ass valedictory speech, honors' student and graduate, hoping to_ 'get lucky'_ tonight, every lap dancer girl's dream, Jedi bachelor, Luke Skywalker!"

There are a roars and rowdy cheers of thunderous applause. Mara and Leia laugh when Luke stands in the doorway. He is red from embarrassment. A spotlight glares as celebratory music begins to play.

"Aww, jeez...you guys!" He tries to turn and leave but Wedge shoves him inside.

"Hey, Skywalker, face your disloyal subjects!"

"I hate you all!" He blushes as the stripper chicks from his visit on Bespin appear, courtesy of the 'Bunny Hutt.' They fawn over him. He is embarrassed even more because they all remember him.

"Oh, he's that cute boy we gave lap dances to for his 18th birthday! He's so adorable! He didn't know what to do."

"Oh, Luke! Hey, honey!"

Luke shrugs. Mara smirks.

"Why, Luke, you little devil."

"It's not what you think."

"Oh, don't mind me."

A bouncer droid walks over to Wedge and Biggs. There is an exchange of words. Leia looks over at Han accusingly.

"Han, tell me you didn't arrange for my brother to get a lap dance. We're going to get in trouble."

"What? You think I did this? I had nothing to do with this. I know we've got minors in here. Talk to Biggs and Wedge. For once I'm innocent."

"Go over there and talk to them, Han."

"Then you'll be getting me involved and I swore I would not take you or your brother to any place other than this. You can't get any tamer than the Bear Clan. Your father wants to make sure you and Luke stay 10 years old. You're telling me the strongest drink in this place is beer?"

"Han, please. You're the voice of reason."

Han suddenly smiles. "Voice of reason, hey? Hmmm, I kinda like the sound of that now that you put it that way. Hold on."

Han walks over to the bouncer who is still chatting with Biggs and Wedge. Biggs can be heard shouting, "No way? How come? So what are we going to do blow up party balloons and play pin the tail on the Emperor?"

Han is heard saying, "This party is for Luke not you. Come on, guys. Send the chicks home. This isn't right."

"But we paid for them!"

"Your loss, Pal!"

Biggs and Wedge reluctantly escort the strippers out of the club. Luke, now free of the _'titillating bimbos,' _walks over to the soda bar. The bartender greets him.

"What can I get, young Mr. Skywalker?"

"I'll have a double Rodia soda and get the Lady whatever she's drinking."

Mara looks over at Luke. She removes a straw from the dispenser and blows the wrapping off, hitting him in the face. Luke smirks and crumples the straw wrapper.

"Well, if it isn't Madame Jade. How the heck are you, you witch?"

The bartender serves her another drink.

Mara takes a sip of her freshly-made strawberry float. "I'm cool. How are you, Baby Boga?"

"I'm great."

"I see your groupies have been banished."

"Honest, I did not invite them and I did not expect to see them here."

"I saw the look of surprise on your face. I thought only Yoda was green."

"I apologize for the girls. That's not me at all."

"You don't have to apologize, Pinky. I know you would never bring them here. I think your friends had other plans for you tonight."

"I know. So, are you having a good time? You look really nice tonight."

"Well, we'll see. The party's just getting started. So, you really care whether I have a good time at your soft drink party?"

"Yeah, actually, I do. You're my friend."

"You consider me your friend?" He munches on the strawberry that had been scored and placed on the lip of the glass as a decorative piece. She pinches the hull so it separates from the fruit.

Luke smiles coyly. He blushes a bit. "Of course, I care about my friends…and my girlfriend." He looks deep into her emerald green eyes then shyly diverts his gaze. He pretends to concentrate on the marble bar top. Suddenly he hears a squeal of glee coming from the mouth of said _'friend.'_ She goes into a taunting chant. This totally embarrasses the new graduate.

"Ooooo, Lu-Lu…you like me, you think I'm pretty."

"Not anymore. You cackling Nexu." Luke has just opened himself up to more teasing. Mara's chant gets louder as she does a little dance in front of him. Luke looks around for anyone to rescue him from the witch from Mustafar.

"You like me." She ruffles his hair. Everyone is watching them now. His cousins are laughing at him. Leia sits with Han in a booth. They are enjoying this. Han laughs.

"Leia, your brother and his redheaded stadium flasher are ten times better to watch than a few stripper chicks. She's a little firecracker. I bet she'll do lots of crazy stuff."

"Oh, yeah,_ "Little Miss Firecracker"_ is capable of doing a lot of damage. My father lost his mind when he saw her and Luke on the Jumbo-tron. Dad had us under house arrest. You know that, Han."

"Is she messing with Luke's head or does she really like him or what?"

"Both. She's still allowed over at the house. My father has a soft spot for girls. He always feels the need to protect them no matter how wild they may be."

"Yeah but I was banned from the house. Does your dad still have that 'Wanted' poster of me hanging in the servant's lounge?"

"Oh, Han, it was just a joke."

"I don't know. Your father has definite ideas about who is welcome in his house."

"He doesn't hate you. He's just curious about what you'll do next. You intrigue him."

Leia waits for a moment. She is thinking about something. Han knows, when he sees that sly smile on her face, she has something of galactic proportions to say.

"Han…if I tell you a secret, you have to promise me you won't gloat about knowing. I don't want my father to know I told you. You're sworn to secrecy. You have to promise me. Promise?"

"Is it something I'm going to absolutely love to hear?"

"Unfortunately, Yes. You will get great glee at hearing it. But you must swear never to say anything."

"Alright, alright; tell me already!"

"I heard Isabel and my Dad discussing their visit with her parents."

"Okay, I'm listening. So what?"

"My Dad saw a holograph of himself in the center target of a dartboard in the den. There was a dart stuck in the image."

"That's it? Why is that so surprising? He's not exactly a warm and fuzzy kind of guy. What did you think her father was going to do, write a love letter to him?"

"He was pissed because Isabel knew about it."

"Yeah, so?"

"She laughed. Daddy was so mad he grabbed a pillow and went to sleep in his study."

"How long did that last?"

"About half an hour. He gets crazy when he's not with her. He doesn't want anyone to know."

"You think I would gloat about him getting a dart in the head or that he ran out of his bedroom like a girl?"

"See, now you're twisting things around. It's not like that."

"It would have been more interesting if your step-mother threw him out of the bedroom. I could have fun with that."

"Han, I can tell you're thinking up something. Whatever it is, don't do it. He'll come after you."

"Relax. Why do you think I always want to antagonize your father?"

"Because your day isn't complete unless you have caused him the smallest amount of grief or discomfort. Anyway, He's euphoric right now; his son just graduated and another one is on the way. Nothing you could do will mess up his happy little world right now. On the other hand, don't risk it, Han. You'll lose."

"Fine, I'll just sit here at this 'kiddie party' and drink my non-alcoholic ale. Great band though. Your father must have paid a lot of credits to get _'Blue-2' _to perform."

"Their manager owed my father a favor."

"Why am I not surprised? Well, at least Luke is enjoying it."

Luke is standing with the crowd directly in the front of the band. He is sipping his drink and watches as Mara 'bounces' to the music…part of her is bouncing. Luke is not as interested in what her feet are doing right now. It was a beautiful sight. Han elbows Biggs.

"We need to get this little graduate laid before he spontaneously combusts."

The celebration continues with the live band and everyone wearing Bear Clan helmets and sipping Rodia soda. Since the club caters to the young Padawan crowd, no alcohol is served. Anakin had good reason for selecting this venue for Luke's after-dinner graduation party. He did not want to read in the Coruscant News that any child of his was involved in drunken misconduct. This did not mean they would not get into other "situations."

Skinny-dipping in the thermal lake was a popular pastime of youth on Coruscant. The city decided it would be a waste of time rounding up a bunch of sexually-charged teens every night so it provides free towels and blankets. It was all uneventful until the night of Luke's party. The poor graduate was in for the biggest prank played on him in a long time. It would be very 'revealing.'

Han loads the twins and their immediate party, including Luke's cousins, in a chauffeur-driven stretch limo speeder for the Lake. Everyone strips and dives into the warm waters. Mara strips in front of Luke. He is stunned. He stumbles as he tries to step out of his pants. Mara stands there laughing at him.

"Relax, _'Pinky.'_ Don't hurt yourself."

Luke regains his balance and removes his clothes. He is still staring at her body. Suddenly she smiles and covers her mouth. Luke is still staring at her almost as if in a trance.

"Luke, I'm flattered but there's no need to salute. I'm not that important."

"What?" Without looking down, he knows what's 'up' and grabs his shirt to cover himself. "Geez! Don't look."

Mara is giggling. "Your face is so red right now."

"Stop laughing."

"Come on, Let me see. You cute little boy." He drops his shirt and rolls his eyes. Mara grins. "Looks as if 'things' have calmed down. But I must say, I am quite impressed, Lu-Lu."

"You know, you're not helping."

"Get into the water, you handsome hunk of a Jedi. I'll race you. I bet I can swim a lot faster than you."

"Want to challenge me, hag?"

"The more you insult me the faster I'll be." She does an impression of the Emperor. "I'm going to out-swim you, my young Jedi."

"You will try."

They race to the waters' edge and dive in.

Han and Leia are getting undressed.

"Han, you're up to no good, I know it."

"Relax, Honey. I'm not that clever."

"Han , why are you wearing swim trunks?"

Han looks down at his orange tropical print trunks. They are the long mid-thigh length with big Felucia flowers printed on them.

"There is still a law in the books here that prevents me from swimming in the buff with children."

"I am not a child. I wish you can get over that."

"Some people still have a problem with men who swim naked with a bunch of party goers who are all eighteen years of age and younger."

"When we get in the water, tie the drawstring around your ankle. You can't get in trouble that way."

"Lister, _'Lolita,'_ I don't want to go to jail."

"Then there's Daddy."

"I think I would prefer jail, now that you mention it."

Leia lays her clothes on a bench next to Mara's garments.

Off to the side far from the others, Luke comes up for air. He is wading in the darkness. The blue full moon is the primary source of illumination. He can hear the others in the distance. He feels someone close by. He turns frantically. Suddenly a monster pops out of the water.

"Relax, Pinky, it's just me."

"Witch. I wish you wouldn't do that." He wipes the water from his face so he can see better. "Let's go swim to the others."

"Later. Let's talk."

"Now?"

"Of course, now. We're alone. Hold me."

"No."

"I said, hold me!"

"You're a pushy girl. You can't expect a guy to like you if you keep that up."

"You like me."

"No, I don't…not that much."

"This much?" She touches him. He slaps her hand away."

"Stop that!"

"Kiss me."

"No."

"I said; kiss me before I slap you silly."

"You know, there's nicer ways to get people to do things, Mara, but you don't…"

She pulls his face to hers and kisses him. He relaxes and returns the kiss. Mara smiles. They submerge and continue to kiss under water. They eventually come up for air.

"Now what were you saying, my young Jedi?"

"Uhm..nothing…important." Mara smiles at him again then slowly disappears under the water. "Where are you going. Let me catch my breath first and…Mara? Mar, what are you doing? …oh …oh…now that's just evil."

After a few minutes they are out of the water and resting on a beach blanket under the night sky. They look up at the stars. A few ships can be seen in the distance, like little points of light speeding across the galaxy to other star systems. Luke squeezes Mara's hand.

"All I can say is that you have amazing lungs…your hooters aren't bad either. I think I have just been violated. I won't even ask how you know how to do what you did to me out there. You're still twisted and evil. I just want to make that clear. Although, I am grateful…"

"That's why I like you Luke. You're very appreciative."

"I am, really. I hope you you're not offended that we didn't…you know…I want to wait for that special moment..."

"Like when?"

"When the time is right. You're very special to me; and even thought you're still a green-eyed she-devil, I want that moment to be special. Okay?"

"Ooh, Lu-Lu…you're getting all deep and romantic all of a sudden. You're so sweet.."

"Yeah, yeah, I know…now go fix me a sandwich!"

They burst into laughter. Mara kisses Luke's hand. He returns in kind.

"You know that would never happen, don't you? I would kick your ass."

"Oh, I know. But seriously, I'm starving. Let's get dressed and head over to Dex's Diner."

"Ok. You're buying, right?"

"Yes, Mara. It's the least I could do. Now that I know how to get you to be_ 'quiet;'_ it benefits both of us." He gets up to find his clothes. "Hey! My clothes are gone! Guys! Oh, man!"

Mara walks over to the bench.

"Oh, here's my stuff."

"Yeah, but someone took your underwear."

Mara does not respond and starts to dress.

Luke wraps himself in a towel. He does manage to find his underwear on a tree branch. He makes a point of announcing it so Mara will hear him. Everyone else from the party has left. There were a few moonlight bathers in the area but they had nothing to do with Luke's party. It was just a group of guys. They were at the lake to take their bachelor friend to his last 'free' night out with the guys. Luke could hear their voices in the distance.

While Luke and Mara were still in the Lake, Biggs, Han and the guys were playing a joke on him. They take his clothes. They had intended to also take Mara's but Biggs accidentally scoops up Leia's clothing instead. Han laughed after it happened then suggested she take Mara's.

"I am not dressing up like 'Leather Barbie.'" Leia is furious. The prank isn't funny anymore. She wants Han's pants but he refuses because he lost his swim trunks in the lake after taking Leia's advice to remove them in the water and tether the drawstring loop around his ankle. This did not work and the swim shorts were lost somewhere on the lake floor. Han does surrender his shirt to her. She grabs a towel before Han drives her home. She sneaks into the house. It is after one o'clock in the morning. Skippy scampers out from the nursery to see who the intruder is. He starts to bark.

"Shut up, you! Go play guard dog in the nursery. Go!" Skippy sits and waits. Suddenly she remembers the puppy treats. She grabs a few from the dispenser and tosses them to the dog. Skippy gobbles up the treats then goes about his business of guarding the nursery. She continues to head up to her bedroom when she hears a voice from a corner in the living room.

"Getting in kind of late, aren't you, missy?"

Leia is ready for a confrontation. She stops, still holding the towel around her. She turns.

"It's just me, Mistress Leia. I thought it would be funny to play your father for the night since he's officially off duty. I've been practicing his voice for some time now. I believe I've gotten it down…Oh, no! Mistress Leia, please…it was only a joke."

She punches Threepio so hard his head swings backwards and drops to the floor. She shakes her hand then turns and continues up to her room.

The house is quiet once more. In the master bedroom Anakin has had quite the romantic evening. After almost ignoring his pregnant wife during dinner, he thought he would make it up to her. They return home around nine o'clock. Isabel has barely spoken to him during the drive home. She was feeling a bit insecure, overwhelmed by the high attendance of Jedi officials at the dinner, she was a smart woman but she was in another realm when she was surrounded by important Jedi Council members and the President of the Academy. Isabel remained quiet as her husband spoke of Jedi matters at the table. She felt ignored and unattractive. She wasn't very pregnant but she was in her second trimester and she was feeling fat and stupid. She was neither but no one could convince her otherwise.

Anakin apologizes in the speeder on the way home. "I sense you have been feeling ignored and I apologize. It just felt good to be talking to all these people again. I wanted to mend fences. I don't want our son to go to the academy feeling his father was scorned by the Council. I have made amends. I'm doing this for you and our family. I want you to know that. I love you, Isabel."

When they arrive at the house, Anakin locks the door. He kisses his wife. "Go get ready for bed. I'll be there in a few minutes.

Anakin places Luke's diploma and honor's award in the desk in his study. He checks on the droids then heads for the bedroom. He walks in to find his beautiful wife looking absolutely sexy. She is in the bed lying seductively on ivory colored silk sheets. She is wearing a black néglige. Her beautiful raven hair flows against the pillows. Anakin is stopped in his tracks. Everything about the image is beautiful…and then he looks at her belly and grins. She speaks to him.

"I'm all alone in this big bed. Will you keep me company until my husband comes home?"

"Sure. Yes, Madam." He slowly walks over to the bed. He takes her hand and makes her stand. "I don't know what to say. I am honored. So, it'll be just the three of us, right?"

"That's it."

"Give me a moment to think of the best way to approach this. Can you get him to stop sucking his thumb and watching us?" He laughs as he gently pats her belly.

"He doesn't care."

Anakin cannot keep a straight face. "I'm sorry, I'm not laughing at you, and it's just that I can see him moving inside you. It seems so wrong."

Isabel is beginning to get annoyed.

"You want to have sex or not?"

"Yes! I do! Junior, close your eyes. Your parents are in the middle of a romantic moment here. You, know, Bel…this is kind of hot."

"Just do it. Don't you ever stop talking?"

"I used to have the same problem with you until I found a way to keep you quiet."

"Shut up."

"Yes, boss."

Later that evening Luke and Mara make their way to Dex's diner. Luckily, Dex is still on duty. He takes one look at Luke and laughs.

"What a sight! What the Hoth happened to you?"

"A graduation prank gone wrong. Dex, you know Mara Jade?"

"Oh, yeah, I've seen you before. You hung around with a different group." Dex does not say this with a complimentary tone. He does see the brighter side of this now that she is in the company of Luke.

"I don't hang with that crowd anymore."

"That's good to hear. Luke here is a good boy…" He studies Luke's' appearance again wondering if he should reconsider what he has just said. He smiles again. "So, what can I do for you nice kids? You can have just about any seat in the house. Heheheh. That's restaurant humor."

"Well, we are hungry but when my clothes were taken so was my wallet."

"Freeloaders, eh? Wait till I tell your father! Just kidding. Have a seat. I know you're good for it. Anyway, your money's no good here, young Skywalker. The meal's on the house…if you can climb up there! Ahahahaah…you kids don't get restaurant humor. That was another joke."

"Oh! Hahahah."

"Okay, Luke. No pity laughs. I'm a proud business man. Have a seat. I'll be your waiter for the evening." He bows in a jovial fashion. "Would you like to see something from our wine list?"

"No. Thank you anyway."

"Good, 'cause I don't have one. I would have to card you two minors anyway. Can't be bothered with the authorities on my ass as it is. Health code violation my eye. So, Luke, you're officially a Jedi today, eh? Congratulations. Let me offer you my _'Jedi Graduates' Grand Slam Special.'"_

"What would that be?"

"A Sith load of bacon, Bantha Hash Browns, Dex's Special omelet, waffles, pera juice and coffee, milk for the kiddies."

Mara thinks for a moment.

"What's special about the omelet?"

"Real eggs. Luke, You gonna sit in that towel all night?"

"I was hoping I could borrow a pair of kitchen pants until I get home."

"Go in the back. Ask Mel to help you find a pair your size."

"Thanks, Dex." Luke scampers to the back near the staff area and returns a few minutes later wearing a pair of white cotton restaurant trousers. He was relieved to get out of the 'toga.'

Dex has been chatting with Mara who had been waiting for Luke to disappear so she could apologize for her bad behavior when she and Craul's' crew would come in and menace the diners. Craul would sometimes stiff Dex on the restaurant tab. Dex got even. He purposely committed a health code violation on the rowdy group and watched as they dined. Then he called the authorities and had them banned from ever dining there again. Mara had disassociated herself long before this happened. Dex was glad of this because he learned she was actually a lovely person and she revealed to Dex that she absolutely loved Luke.

He cooks them up a gut-buster of a meal. He busied himself afterwards behind the counter tending to graveyard shift workers at the local factory straggling in before heading home. He would glance discreetly at the young couple at the corner booth. It was like a scene in Lady and the Tramp. Luke did not have the role of the 'Tramp.'

Luke and Leia's clothes were hanging from the bridge connecting the senate to the entrance to the Coruscant Metro System. When Han found out, he dragged Biggs and Wedge with him to remove the garments before dawn. He finds Luke's wallet and holds onto it until he sees him again. The twins didn't need any grief this week. This was a time when Anakin would not be riding their asses for something they didn't do. They needed a break.

Anakin was in a happy place anyway. He had the best sex ever. His sweet, delicate, pregnant wife was an absolute wild woman. He just had to remember, however, not to reveal this to her father while intoxicated and sharing a bottle of tequila.

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_To be continued… 'Vacation and Registering for Baby Gifts…Here We Go Again'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	69. Chapter 69 Register Your Baby Sith

_Chapter 69_

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'_Baby Registry – Needful Things'_

'_Intergalactic Vacation'_

'_Accessories Sold Separately'_

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Leia has been nagging Anakin and Isabel to register for baby gifts. Isabel had previously been too busy with the preparations for Luke's graduation and making party arrangements. And up until a month ago, she was still suffering from occasional morning sickness. A baby registry was the last thing on her mind.

When Anakin was able to understand the concept of a baby registry, he couldn't wait to take the drive over to the exclusive shopping district known as Rodia Drive. This could be more fun than the bridal registry! He loved that little scanner thingy. It was more fun than a light saber…almost. But a light saber didn't give you a 'sith-load' of gifts and goodies.

Luke meanwhile was packing for his vacation before taking his first assignment as a Jedi Knight. He had three whole months to goof off until he would have to report to Master Halcyon at the Jedi Temple. The timing was perfect because he would still be around for the arrival of the new sibling.

Leia is preparing to spend a weekend at the beach on Naboo with Han. Ruwee wasn't too crazy about her dating an older man. Han was ten years her senior. Ruwee asked Anakin why he let this go on. Anakin was tired of fighting Leia about it. The women in his house were beating him down. When the baby is born things are going to start changing. The 'girls' had better get in line and start learning their place from now. A new 'Skywalker Order' is about to begin. The Skywalker men will soon dominate the family once more…_And then there will be peace._'

Regarding Leia, Anakin believed, with some time, hopefully before he hits old age, his daughter would get bored with Han. Han, being the womanizer Anakin truly believed he was, would just move on. No sign of this happening yet! When Anakin first confronted Han about dating his daughter, Han swore up and down that he did not know Leia was only 17 years old when they met. When she told him she was a junior senator, he thought she was a seasoned career woman. She was bossy enough. They were dating for some time and never realized she and Luke were twins. He thought she was Luke's older sister. It was only after he slept with Leia that he discovered the truth. Actually he did know but it slipped his mind. Oops! He could have dropped her like a hot Tatooine potato but then he would have looked like a womanizing, cradle-robbing cad OR, he could just tell her that she was too young which would devastate her, causing her to cry to 'Daddy.' This strategy would guarantee a swift death at the hands of the Dark Lord for hurting his under-age daughter. Either way, it was a 'lose-lose' situation. Han was screwed.

Isabel finally gets an appointment with the exclusive baby boutique Bambini Jedi. Anakin wasn't impressed. There was nothing cool in the place but fancy over-priced baby furniture and layette sets. Isabel handled everything here. Anakin hummed and hawed his way through the meeting and doing a lot of _'Whatever you like, sweetheart, you're the one with the good design sense. I'll be happy with whatever you choose.' _ Isabel didn't say anything but she was getting annoyed. He was the one who was so excited about the baby. She thought he would at least participate in the planning. He claimed that he _'was'_ participating by being a father. He slouches in the chair and zones out as the registry consultant begins taking notes and giving suggestions. Mr. 'Short Attention Span' Skywalker flicks the annoying Ewok mobile display then doses off to the droning Mon Calamari lullaby.

The women stop talking for a moment as Anakin dips his head back in the upholstered arm chair and begins snoring loudly. Isabel watches him for a moment. She was going to ignore him but he looks a bit too comfortable sleeping like a baby. She flicks him in the head. He shakes his head and snorts then opens his eyes looking around wildly.

"Where am I? Oh, we're still here. So, you chicks done talking?"

"Anakin."

The registry consultant sits patiently. Isabel is embarrassed. She then points to the mobile. The consultant smiles back.

"This is a wonderful choice, Mrs. Skywalker. I will add that to your list. It is one of our new items. I think you will love it."

Isabel thanks the consultant then leaves with Anakin. The cool morning breeze wakes him up and he looks down at Isabel and smiles sweetly. "Where to, Milady?"

"We have another stop to make. Just drive." Isabel was not in the mood after the embarrassing episode in the boutique. He had no clue that…_this is where the fun begins._

The second registry is located at '_Little Bear Clan & Little Siths 'R' Us' _baby and toy store.The place is massive. It is a veritable play land for any little tot to live out his or her little fantasies. Isabel sees Anakin's face light up. She knew that look. Isabel swore to herself that if she only had force powers, she would strangle the Sith (out of him). She had wondered if the ability to see Force Ghosts went beyond this point. Today she felt the need to "reach out and touch" this dumbass. Oooh, if only she had the power to Force-choke her husband today.

They see their consultant, Mrs. Tangina Barrons. The diminutive woman smiles sweetly at the couple. She hands them a scanner. Anakin scoops it up faster than she hands it over. Isabel gets up and follows him as he heads for the aisles.

"Anakin?"

"Yes?"

"Don't scan anything stupid, okay?"

"Don't you worry about me. I got it, I got it. Go talk to your registry lady over there. Yeah, go waddle over there and bother somebody else." He waves the scanner at her after she turns away. He then playfully aims it at her as if it were a blaster. She knows what he is doing and ignores him. Anakin mutters to himself as she leaves him in the aisle.

Isabel returns to the registry desk. Madame Tangina smiles again.

"It's nice to see the expectant fathers getting involved in the registry process."

Isabel stares at the woman. Some people are easily fooled she thought to herself. Isabel was also wondering how much of her 'wish list' is actually going to be scanned.

Meanwhile, Anakin is stalking the aisles as if he is in-search of anti-Imperial Separatists. He scans a few items then heads for the next aisle. He remembers he has the list tucked inside his jacket. He takes it out and releases a long ponderous sigh. He brandishes his scanner gun searching for baby registry stuff. "I don't need this sith! Woman riding my ass." Suddenly he sees something. "Oooh…cool!"

The scanner gun can be heard a few aisles away by a symphony of beeps. Isabel is sitting with the registry consultant. She is distracted by the frequent charging of the scanner gun. The consultant smiles awkwardly.

Anakin reviews the list.

"What crap does she have on this list? Nursing pads, pump, receiving blankets…she must be joking. We've got plenty of blankets at home… Ten Onesies…what the eff? Do we really need this crap? Socks…He won't be walking for awhile." He tosses the items aside. He continues down the aisle to the toy section. Suddenly his face lights up. "Now that's what I'm talking about!" Anakin smiles with glee as he heads for the object of his affection. Just as he is about to proceed down the aisle, he sees someone who will ruin his moment of joy. C3PO is standing at the opposite end of the aisle with Artoo. There is a stand-off. The droids turn but decide to approach their master from behind. Anakin believes that they have gone and he picks up the package.

"Wow, this is so cool. 'Mighty Meteor Ranger with the Force-Choke Grip!'" Someone pokes him on the shoulder.

"Pardon me, Master Ani, but are you sure that is on the list Madame gave you this morning?"

"Don't worry, Threepio, I know what I'm doing."

"But, Master, isn't this toy too advanced for a newborn?"

"My son is already showing signs of high intelligence. He'll grow to meet the demands of the toy."

Artoo makes a wisecrack. Threepio insists this is not a wise choice. He points to the packaging label.

"See, Master? On the corner of the box it says 'for ages 4 and up. It's a rather violent toy besides."

Anakin stares at the Droid. "Don't make me kill you."

"Suit yourself. Madame will be quite displeased."

"_Madame_ need not know unless a tattle-tale Protocol droid tells her."

Anakin continues to scan _'items.' _ He is about to have another confrontation with Threepio. The droid points his golden finger on the list Anakin is holding in his hand. It is very crumpled because Anakin is checking it occasionally for anything interesting.

"See, we need to get these items on the list. That toy you're holding states _'For ages 3-6,' Master._ Actually, sir, you're in the wrong aisle. We need to be in Layette."

He looks directly into Anakin's eyes when he says this. Anakin notices how the droid uses the word "We" when stating what should be done then using the word "You" when pointing out when Anakin is "Wrong" about something. Anakin wanted to _'Lay-ette'_ his fist through the droid's face. Artoo chirps away then heads up the aisle. He suddenly stops and sees a mini astromech droid kit for toddlers. He scoffs at the image on the box. The mini astromech droids resembles him. Artoo giggles then moves on. Anakin and Threepio are in the middle of a heated _'discussion.' _

A stock boy, working during school break, overhears them. Anakin is getting angry. He looks at the droid. They continue to bicker.

"Why don't you get back in the speeder?"

"But, Sir, you really need to start scanning things for the baby."

"Listen; don't tell me what I_ need_ to do."

Another stock boy is on a ladder watching them. Suddenly there is a loud crash. Pieces of gold metal go flying. Several boxes containing merchandise tumble onto the floor and spills into the aisle. The stock boy on the selling floor goes to get the manager. A selling associate approaches them.

"Can I help you, sir?"

"What do you think?"

Isabel is still sitting in the Baby Registry speaking with the consultant. She hears the noise and closes her eyes. She pretends not to notice but she knows full well what is happening. The noise is so loud, it can be heard five aisles over in the 'Kids' 8-12' and droid 'Bambolina Doll' section.

The floor manager charges down the aisle and approaches Anakin.

"Sir, is there a problem?"

"Not anymore."

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"What?"

"Sir, you have to leave the store. You're upsetting the other customers." The man stands his ground, even with beads of sweat forming on his forehead. He is in the process of kicking the Dark Lord of the Sith out of the toy emporium.

Anakin grabs the crumpled mass of gold metal and flings it over his shoulder. Threepio holds onto his loose pieces as Anakin carries him. Customers crane their necks to see what the commotion is all about. Some watch as Anakin walks towards the front of the store. He turns to face them. Threepio's metal legs are flailing behind on Anakin's back and miss swiping into the head of two customers. Anakin looks at the growing crowd.

"Can I help you?"

The manager points to the door.

"Sir?"

"I'm going over to get my wife."

The frightened customers shudder and then go about their shopping. Anakin ignores the store manager then walks over to the Baby Registry. Isabel does not want to turn around. She is so embarrassed. Without looking directly at her husband, she speaks.

"I will meet you outside." Anakin leaves. He knows better than to say anything more. He returns the scanner. Isabel remains silent.

The consultant sees the pain of embarrassment on her face. She smiles and gently pats Isabel's hand and whispers to her.

"Honey, c'mere and give me your hand. I'm not gonna bite 'cha." Isabel is near tears. "There is a lot of love in his heart for you. This baby means so much to him. He's not the beast he appears to be. It's just the child in him coming out. Honey, you need a hug." She walks around the desk and gives Isabel a warm, reassuring embrace.

"Now, dry your eyes and go get your husband."

Meanwhile, Anakin and Threepio see Artoo waiting patiently outside in the speeder. Threepio, his head still flung over his master's shoulder decides to speak again.

"I think Madame is upset with someone."

Anakin smiles. "Yeah but we had fun today, didn't we?"

"Some more than others, Sir."

"True."

Threepio looks down at Artoo who is giggling and, makes a comment. Threepio gives a sharp reply.

"My, aren't you so superior? Disassociating yourself are you? There's no need for pompousness you little twerp!"

After several minutes Isabel leaves the store. Anakin holds open the door to the speeder for her. Just as he is about to speak, she stops him.

"Anakin, don't. I can't deal with you right now. If you say one word to me, I'm going to cry."

The drive home is very quiet.

Back at the store there is another crash. The manager heads for the historic figures and war toys aisle.

"What now?"

He passes out at what he sees. Four Force-Ghost playing with the action figures in aisle twelve.

"_Look, my doll has moving tentacles and cool clothes. I even have career-changing accessories. I can _be a nurse or a career woman! Your dolls don't have as much as mine has."

Mace examines his 'doll.'

"_We don't have 'dolls!' We have 'Action Figures.' They made these tropical shirts for us. What's this 'Jedi Five-O? You get five rows of accessories. We get a pair of beach shorts and surf board.' _

"_This is nice, they gave me hair but I got no bits and pieces! They gave Aayla a giant set of hooters but they left us with no 'anatomically correct' parts. I'm pissed._

"_No, you can't even do that, 'cause you got no parts. I'm mad as hell! I know I got stuff. This is humiliating. Who do we file a complaint with at this toy company?"_

"_Hey! How come I'm in the sale bin?"_

"_Don't know, Ki-Adi. How much you going for these days?"_

"_One Ninety-Nine plus tax. Darn red price sticker is stuck on my ass."_

"_Hey, Aayla, let my action figure kiss yours! Heheheh!' _Qui-Gon does a falsetto voice as he holds the two dolls, _'Oh, Qui-Gon, you're the best I ever had. You are so handsome and hot. I have to take off all my clothes. Kiss me, kiss me. I love you so much.'_

Mace laughs. Soon Qui-Gon _'involves' _all the dolls with the exception of the Ki-Adi Mundi doll.

'_Hey, how come you didn't include me?'_

Qui-Gon continues playing with the dolls. He does the falsetto voice for the Aayla action figure again.

'_Ewww, no! You're a broke-ass One Ninety-Nine credit action figure. I can't.'_

Mace shakes his head in disbelief.

'_Qui-Gon, you are a depraved sex maniac. And don't involve my action figure in your doll orgy. It's undignified. Aayla, I love you, honey, but I would treat you with the respect you deserve.'_

'_Really, Mace?'_

'_Of course. I would treat you like the real lady that you are.'_

'_Uhm…Qui-Gon, I think we need to talk. We need to reassess our relationship.'_

'_What about it?' _He continues playing with the action figures. Aayla lets out a frustrated sigh.

Ki-Adi-Mundi finds a razor scooter and rides it down the aisle._ 'Hey, guys, look what I found. What time does this store close? I could ride this thing all day long.'_

Mace looks down at the floor manager.

'_Let's get out of here before someone finds that manager passed out on the floor. He's got some sucky employees. They don't even bother to check on their boss.' _He reads the name tag on the manager's shirt pocket._ 'Sorry about that, Hal.'_

Luke is still packing for his beach vacation on Kashyyyk. He has rented a bungalow with three fellow graduates from the Jedi Academy. They plan to surf, play some beach volleyball and find some hot chicks who are vacationing from some of the Universities across the galaxy. Thousands of graduates and other students travel to this paradise during semester break.

He hears the front door. Isabel walks in and continues to the bedroom without speaking. Anakin walks in after Artoo. Luke knows what has happened when he sees Threepio on Anakin's shoulder. Anakin sees the look his son gives him.

"Luke, don't start with me. Don't judge me. You self-righteous kids! She'll get over it. She can't stay mad at me forever."

Threepio chimes in to make one more comment.

"Well, actually, sir…"

"Haven't you had enough? Luke, I'll be in the study putting this loud mouth back together. We have to talk about your little trip."

"Dad, no lecture, please?"

"Who's paying for this junket?"

"You are."

"Then I can lecture all I want."

Across town at the Emperor's office. Palpatine is busy writing. Jar-Jar walks in wearing a pair of orange swim trunks with big Felucia flowers he found while swimming in the lake, and a purple shirt. The Emperor looks up from his papers.

"Jar-Jar, are you aware that we have a strict dress code here?"

"Yes, Isa know. Stupid dress code. Jar-Jar wear man clothes. Jar-Jar cool."

"Jar-Jar going to be fired if he doesn't change into appropriate attire befitting this office."

"Yousa could do with a little makeover yousa self, Imperial worse dressed. Look whoosa make top ten best dressed in Galaxy. Yousa be sith-surprised! Looka this, your Imperial Bad Dresser." Jar-Jar shows Palpatine the latest issue of Intergalactic Male Magazine.

Intergalactic Male Magazine Who's Who

Ten Best Dressed Officials 7005

1. Anakin Skywalker aka Darth Vader, Lord of the Sith

2. General Obi-Wan Kenobi

3. General Lando Calrissian

4. Corellian Jedi Master Nejaa Halcyon

5. Former Supreme Chancellor Finis Valorum

6. Captain Han Solo

7. Captain Typho

8. General Carlist Rieekan, Ret.

9. Imperial Governor Grand Moff Governor Tarkin

10. Count Dooku aka Darth Tyranus, deceased

"Count Dooku! That's not even fair, he's been dead for years! This is an outrage!"

"But heesa in Darth Plagueis the Wise & Nosferatu Memorial Cemetery and Crematorium. Heesa in hermetically sealed glass tomb. Heesa not aged a day and wearing new outfit each anniversary of his death. Heesa looking good, Master Imperial frumpiness. Yousa nowhere in this issue. Yousa best be getting' new copy of SQ Magazine for fashion tips. Brocade robes out theesa season!"

"Humph! You still have to change your clothes."

"Isa not changin' nuthin', Jar-Jar go on vacation."

"What? You insolent, incompetent fool! You need my permission to take personal time! Two weeks' notice! I didn't see any notice."

"Oh, here it is!" Jar-Jar removes a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket with a signature.

The emperor does not recall signing anything. He surely would have never approved a vacation for Jar-Jar. But here it was and counter-signed by his old bat secretary Hilda. There was something peculiar about the signature. It was signed _'Pappy Sid.'_ Oh, well. He would have to get a temp.

Jar-Jar looks up at the ceiling to avoid making eye contact with the old mean tyrant. Finally, Palpatine shoves the paper back across the desk. He thought he might need to see a doctor about his forgetfulness. It could destroy him.

"How long is this vacation?"

"Six weeks."

"What?"

"Did Isa stutter? Oh, yousa got mail!" He plops a stack of mail on the Emperor's desk and walks out of the office.

Palpatine looks at the stack. He sees a letter. He begins to read it. He becomes enraged and tosses the letter on the floor.

_Dear Imperial Highness,_

_We at the Spaarti Cylinder Clone farm in beautiful downtown Stormy Tipoca City, just south of the Rishi Maze on Exit Ramp 166, regretfully announce that there has been a major meltdown and overnight power failure at our plant. Your clones are pretty much useless. Please write to us and return your clone disposal selection form. You have 10 days to make a selection as the clones are quickly disintegrating ._

_Thank you for selecting Spaarti Cylinder Cloning facilities for all your cloning needs._

_Sincerely,_

_Taun We_

_Project Coordinator_

_Lama Su_

_President and Prime Minister of Operations_

_Please find enclosed a 15 percent coupon towards your next cloning order. Good until Darth Plagueis Day!_

Palpatine buries his head in his hands as he sits at his desk. He has just missed the first eight days of the deadline. He needed a clone fast or new blood. Time was a-ticking away for the old wizened fool.

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_To be continued… 'Beach Blanket Jedi'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	70. Chapter 70 Beach Blanket Jedi

_Chapter 70_

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'_Beach Blanket Jedi__'_

'_Little Baby Blanket Bumpers'_

'_As Big as a Handkerchief, A Lot Smaller than a Blanket'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Luke is all packed and ready to go on his Summer Vacation. Anakin spends some quality time with his son before he leaves. They have a private dinner at an expensive restaurant. Luke enjoyed this time with his dad. Anakin is very open and sweet and he is not lecturing Luke on anything at all. It was almost like chatting with a best friend…almost.

Anakin bends over backwards to make amends for his behavior at the baby registry. He feels terrible for making his wife unhappy. He sends her a huge bouquet of flowers and an appointment for a day at the spa. God knows she needed a relaxing day without him making her crazy. This was a peace offering. Anakin was running out of ideas. She is still angry with him. He wanted things the way they were before this whole toy store catastrophe took place.

The morning after the dinner, Luke hints to his father that he wanted to use his new cruiser for the trip to Kashyyyk. The peaceful father-son moment was broken. Anakin flipped out. Luke had to listen to his father's tirade.

"That ship is for serious missions. I didn't buy it for you to use as a flying panty-raid and keg party. Your maiden voyage is not for transporting 'drunken maidens' from the local sorority just so you and your horny school buddies can get your freak-on and barf all over the deck.. Your first flight should be something you can write about in your log book and refer to years from now."

"I can still write about that." Luke is being funny but Anakin is not laughing. He didn't need to hear this from Luke.

"What did you say?" The tone in his voice set fear in Luke. His father was a bit irritable lately. He has not been sleeping well. It wasn't the dreams. Those were few and far between and Yoda had already helped him cope with those. Anakin was in no mood to joke about using the ship. Luke tries to calm him down.

"Nothing, Dad. It was a joke. Hey, Dad?"

"Yes, Luke?"

"How much longer will you be sleeping in the guest room?"

"When Isabel grows up."

"Well, Dad, you were wrong."

"What?"

"I'm just saying. You should make up with her. She needs you."

"Your mother is a stubborn woman."

"You hurt her, Dad. Sometimes you have a habit of doing things, not intending to hurt people but you do anyway. I think deep in your heart you believe you're doing the right thing but you're a bit misguided."

Anakin is getting defensive. Luke tries to be frank with his father. Tip-toeing around the topic is definitely not the way to go when dealing with him. Luke has learned over the years that you have to just come out and tell him things he doesn't like to hear and deal with the backlash later.

"She's been talking to you about us?"

Anakin usually comes around when criticism is peppered with a little admiration and love. And then there are times, when you just have to come down on him like a ton of Yavin bricks. Luke is quick to counter his father's angry retort by saying something like:

"No, Dad. I haven't been gossiping behind your back. But I can feel the tension in the house and I can feel when you're both hurting. Dad, don't push her away like you did when we were children. You've got her back now. Think before you react. You need to apologize."

"I gave her flowers and that perfume she loves so much."

"That's not what it's about, Dad."

Skippy is pawing at Anakin's leg. Anakin reaches over and without looking down, scratches the nape of the droid dogs' neck. He slowly takes in what his son is saying to him.

"You need to make a better attempt, Dad. You take her for granted. She puts up with a lot of your crap."

What? She told you that?"

"Dad, you behave like a five-year old sometimes. Come on, you know it to be true."

"Fine. I'll talk to her and grovel."

"Just be sincere."

Anakin is insulted by this lecture he's getting from his 18 year old son. He returns a flippant remark.

"Ok, Dr. Crane, I'm listening."

"I'm done. You can take my advice or be miserable for the next two months." Luke leaves and goes upstairs to gather his stuff and make a few calls.

The guest room was comfortable and beautifully decorated but it wasn't where Anakin wanted to be. He loves his wife. He misses her sleeping against his back. He misses the baby kicking him in the head in the middle of the night. He misses the sweet fragrance of freesia after she washes her hair. It has been three unbearable days. The same amount of time it has taken for Luke to get all his crap together for his trip.

Anakin was going to miss his first-born son being away for six weeks. He was going to miss his Leia too, the bossy girl. She would call home for sure. She usually did this when she would visit her grandparents. Even when she was very young and still found her father a mystery after he gained custody of her and her brother, she was always concerned that he not be alone. She had terrible fights with him as a child but it was only because they were both afraid. She sensed his loneliness. He sensed her fear. Even through the tantrums and head-butting, there was a strong bond between them.

Now, their head-butting and tiffs are more of a loving taunt between a father and his daughter. She calls him _'blockhead'_ and _'stubborn'_ and he calls her _'smart mouth' _and _'pushy' _but there is a loving smile behind these insults. If a stranger were to witness this behaviour they would have thought Anakin was an abusive father and Leia, a disrespectful daughter. They secretly enjoyed tormenting and being tormented by one another.

Leia has Anakin's private office number on her speed dial. Anakin will break up a meeting for a call from his daughter. He loved her with all his heart. The Skywalker men would still rule. _'This will not change,'_ he teases her. He warns her to stay on her toes.

Soon he would be all alone for a good part of the summer. Isabel was seriously thinking of vacationing with her parents just to get a break from her husband. Her mother would eventually tell her it would be best to stay home and work things out with the man she joined at the altar months earlier. Ouisanne reminds her daughter she married Anakin _'…for better or worse…in good times and bad.' _In Isabel's mind she was in the '_worse'_ situation and in the '_badness' _of times. Was she supposed to take those vows seriously? She told her mother it could be left to_ 'interpretation_.' Her mother still said, _'No'_ to staying with them.

As for Anakin, he had better make up with his wife. He needed someone to torment him for at least a month. He wasn't content unless one of the women in his life was around to make him crazy. He thrived on it.

Han arrives shortly afterward to take Leia to Naboo. Anakin was getting spastic. He liked Han as long as he wasn't hanging out with his daughter.

"So, Mr. 'V,' you'll be home alone for the next several weeks. I hope the Missus keeps you out of trouble."

"I'll be just fine, Han. You'd better keep out of trouble. What do you plan to do while you're on Naboo?"

"I'm going to have myself some fun."

"Going swimming?"

"Maybe. I heard the lakes are great."

"They are. They are…just watch out for the snakes." Anakin pretends to inspect his fingernails then smiles up at Han with that impish smile of his.

"The what?"

"But I'm sure everything will be fine. It's a beautiful place." Anakin is being coy as he goads Han on.

"Did you say snakes?"

"Yep! A sith-load full of 'em…under rocks…in the grass...and everywhere."

"I don't remember there being any snakes there. I mean, I'm no expert on Naboo but I never heard about any problems with snakes."

"Forget what I said. It's not as bad as that."

Han is turning pasty as he contemplates the idea of confronting snakes. He manages a weak smile as he looks at Anakin for any hint of a joke.

"You're yanking my chain, aren't you?"

"I kid you not, my _(cradle-robbing, teen-thief) _friend. It's 'serpent city' on Lake Naboo."

Han nervously looks around and calls Leia. He is almost in panic mode. He frantically runs his fingers through his hair.

"Leia! Leia!" Beads of perspiration form on his forehead. "Leia!"

Anakin purses his lips and tries not to laugh. He knows it is wrong to do such a horrible thing but he couldn't resist. He needed a good laugh today. His wife wasn't speaking to him. He needed to take out his frustrations on somebody.

Leia enters the living room with her last bag. She has just finished chatting with Isabel to say goodbye. The bag is full of her beach gear and a floppy sun hat. She gives Anakin a "look." She knows he has been torturing Han. Anakin loves stirring that cauldron!

"What are you up to, Pazuzu?"

Anakin smiles his devilish grin.

"Nothing."

"Han, I'm ready." She continues to look at Anakin. Han is relieved to see her. His saviour!

"Oh…Ok…yeah."

"Han, you look as if you've seen a Medusa. What's wrong?" She squints accusingly at her father. "Daddy, what have you been saying to Han?"

"Nothing, Just 'chit-chat.'"

"You never 'chit-chat' you scheming beanstalk! Han, what did he say?"

"Do you have snakes on Naboo?"

Leia smirks then looks at her father and squints at him again.

"Han, will you please excuse us for a moment?" Leia grabs her father by the hair and pulls him into his study. She force-slams the door closed. Anakin winces as she tugs on a lock of his hair.

"Owh…ouch…ouch! Hey! You're hurting me!"

"Shut up and sit down, whiner! You know how to dish it out but you sure can't take it!" She releases him then flicks him on the forehead.

"Ouch! That was so unnecessary!"

"You had better watch yourself, old man! Ooh, you've got a gray hair, Dad." She starts poking him in the chest. "Listen, You, six weeks is a long time not to have anyone to talk to you. I know how you get. So listen to me and listen well! You had better hop-to and behave yourself. You're going to be one unpopular, unlikable Sith this summer. It will be a long, hot, lonely summer, you miserable big baby!"

"I know people who like me. Gray hair? Where?" He takes hold of a lock of his hair and tries to inspect it for signs of 'discoloration.' He is consumed with the very idea that he may have a gray hair. Leia is still scolding him but this is more serious.

"They don't know any better. You, my friend, need an attitude adjustment."

"I'm your Father. I demand respect. I wouldn't talk about attitude adjustments if I were you, missy."

He tries to look in the mirror on the wall of his study for stray gray hairs to no avail.

"You've got to give respect if you want it in return, Daddy. You get like this every time we go away, Daddy. You need to snap out of it. And be nice to Han. He's helped you a lot. Admit it, you like him."

"He's alright. Leia, you need to date other boys. Like, you know, not over 19 years old, boys." He is still searching for the gray hair. "Something… in the more appropriate 17 to 19 year old range. Whatever happened to that nice boy down the block who used to play dolls with you when you were little? I never saw him lay a hand on you. Now that young man knew how to behave around a young lady."

"Dad…he's still playing with dolls and he's got a collection bigger than mine. Dating is pretty much out of the question."

"Why? Oh…hmmm." Anakin looks at her beach bag that she has set in the chair while she is lecturing him about Han. He starts rummaging through it. She tries to grab it from him. He holds up his finger as if to tell her to wait.

"Hey! That's private!"

"Not if it's in my house it's not." He finds a little cap, a towel, a couple of handkerchiefs, bronzing cream, a pareo, sunglasses, and beach sandals.

Leia nervously watches as her father is still holding the 'bronze handkerchief.' She tries to distract him.

"Daddy, I really should be going. You've got a lot of work to do and you still have to make up with Isabel."

"I'm doing my work. I'm working as a baggage inspector."

"Do I pass inspection, Mr. Imperial Security Guard?"

"Just barely. What's with the handkerchief? It's got little gold ropes on it."

Leia's embarrassment turns to amusement as she watches her fathers' expression change as he examines the piece of fabric. Leia tries not to smile but the moment is too precious. She can't help herself. At least it will teach him a lesson.

"Uhm, Daddy, that's part of my swimsuit."

"Wha…?"

Suddenly Anakin goes into a spastic fit as he begins to treat the piece of fabric like a Tatooine hot potato. He tries to shake it free from his hands but the combination of the fabric and the static electricity from him touching it causing it to stick to his skin. He tries to stuff it back into the beach bag. The whole time he is doing this he lets out a scream like something from 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers' crossed with a dolphin in distress. Leia is appalled at first then she begins to giggle uncontrollably. She tries to cover her mouth as tears well up in her eyes. She is thinking, 'Serves him right, the raving lunatic!'

Anakin is still _'spazzing'_. Now he is forming words but just barely.

"Where's the top? You've got no top! Where's the bottom! Aaaahh!"

"Oh, Daddy, cut it out! You're hysterical for no good reason."

"You can't go! What's going on?"

"Calm down, _Flipper_! The top is in the bottom…of the bag! In the towel! Don't touch it!"

"What's with all the gold stuff? Why is there metal in your swimsuit? You'll drown! Ahhh!"

Meanwhile Han has just returned from loading the cruiser with all of Leia's luggage. He returns for the beach bag and Leia. Neither is where he left them. He hears the high-pitched screaming from within the study. Han tip-toes over and leans against the door to listen. He starts to grin.

"Hahaha! He found the bikini! He's having a stroke! This guy is always good for a laugh. I love this guy. HAHAHA…Owh!" Han is knocked to his feet by a force-punch. He rubs his head then gets up. He stumbles back into the living room and sits on the sofa to wait for Leia.

Luke comes downstairs. He had been finishing up on a few calls, and then makes a stop by the master bedroom to chat with Isabel. He and Isabel feel Anakin blowing a gasket. They sit up laughing about it. He tells his step-mother that she's got to stop the insanity that is Anakin Skywalker if she is to have any peace at all in that house while he and his sister are gone.

He enters the living room.

Luke sees Han rubbing his head. He also notices that the door to the study is closed. He can hear Leia arguing with her father. A big grin forms across Luke's face.

"Are you antagonizing my dad again?"

"He's overly-sensitive."

"Han, I think you really enjoy coming over here to get my dad all worked up so he can scrub the floor with you."

"He told me there are snakes in the Lake on Naboo."

Luke laughs out loud.

"He said that? He knows you have a morbid phobia of snakes. Did you have another panic attack?"

"I'm better now."

"Glad to hear it. You know…you and my dad are a lot alike."

"Don't even joke about that. It's not funny. Listen, about the Lake…"

Before Han can address this issue further, Leia comes out of the study carrying her beach bag. She hands it to Han.

"Let's go, Han."

"See you later, Mr. 'V.' Bye, Luke. Behave yourself on Kashyyyk, you wild man!"

"Bye Han. Bye, Sis!" He embraces his sister.

Anakin walks behind them on the way to the docking bay. He remains inside on the stairway. Han is about to board his cruiser when Leia tells him she needs to go back for something. She tells him to go ahead onboard and wait for her.

Leia hurries back inside the house. Anakin is at the top of the stairs ready to go back inside the house when Leia runs up to him and leaps into his arms. She gives her father a long warm embrace and kisses him on his forehead.

"I love you, Daddy. "

"I love you too, sweet pea. Tell that scoundrel to fly safely. None of that flying into meteor showers. Try to be good so I'm not stressing out for the next month and a half."

"I promise. You be good too. You need someone to keep you company all summer. Take care of Isabel. She's going to need you more than ever now, you sorry excuse for a husband."

"Smart mouth."

"Big baby. Hurry up and grow up. There's only room for one baby and it's not you."

"Ok. I got it. Now go!" Anakin finally releases his daughter. Leia hurries back down to the cruiser and gets on board. Han looks at her. He could swear he saw a tear or two in her eyes. She smiles but avoids eye contact with him.

"Everything alright back there?"

"Of course. He gets really emotional when Luke and I leave home. He'll be fine."

"Hey, Leia…Your father was playing with my head, right? There aren't any snakes on Lake Naboo is there?"

"Hahaha! Oh, Han…don't be silly. Not as many as he says."

"What do you mean _'Not as many'_?"

"Relax, Han, you're having another panic attack. Put the cruiser on autopilot until you feel better."

"Your family thrives on being sadistic don't they?"

"Only with those we care about."

"You're not helping, Leia."

Luke loads his father's cruiser with his gear. Anakin agrees to loan Luke the cruiser since the new ship was not to be used until he starts his first assignment as a Jedi Knight. Luke promises to obey this rule. Luke is ready to leave.

"Dad, the house is almost empty. What are you going to do?"

"Celebrate. You rotten children."

"Aww, come on. You're going to miss us."

"I'll finally get some rest around here."

"Shall I keep my mobile on? You know you'll want to call."

"I've had it up to here with you kids. You have no respect. You don't appreciate the sacrifices I make for you kids."

"What sacrifices? You're happy as a Nexu at a Jedi barbecue. Well, this is it. I'm off."

"So, you're leaving for a summer of debauchery and mayhem?"

"Looks like it."

"You kids are out to destroy me. You're all against me."

"Now, don't you start that martyr act. Enjoy the summer. I'll see you before it's over. I told Isabel she'll be back to her old self in no time. She can't see her feet anymore. She's going to need a good looking Tatooine boy toy to tend to her needs. See if you can find one for her." He gives his father a good-natured elbowing.

"Go! Wiseass!"

"You'll miss me, Dad. What are you going to do without my great counseling sessions?"

"Enjoy my summer. No disrespectful kids to ride my ass!"

"I'm going to miss you too, Dad."

"May the Force be with you, young Skywalker."

"And also with you, Anakin Skywalker."

Anakin kisses Luke on his head as he did when his was a small boy and as he did on his graduation day. He smiles then sees his son off in the cruiser. Luke walks backward as he boards, not wanting to lose that image of his father seeing him off. As the cruiser door closes Luke waves one last time. He finally starts the ship and taxis out of the bay. Luke is an excellent pilot like his father. But Luke never landed his speeder sideways against the docking bay wall late at night with a Force-Ghost mentor at the controls. Good times. Luke has one stop to make before heading for the Paradise Island of Kashyyyk.

Anakin returns to the house. He takes another look in the mirror and holds up a hand mirror in search of the elusive gray hair Leia mentioned. He lumbers down the hall towards the master bedroom. He feels dejected and lost. Isabel is in bed late that morning. Her back has been bothering her. She takes one look at her husbands' pitiful, sad face and lifts the blanket to invite him back into their bed. He is sobbing. She smiles as he curls up in her arms.

"Those kids of ours are pure evil. Leia was so mean to me. She told me I have gray hair and she bought a bikini. There was absolutely nothing to it! Isabel, you should have seen it. It was horrible. You would have been appalled. She's sliding down a slippery slope of depravity. She said no one likes me. And Luke told me I have issues. They don't listen to me. This baby is going to be different. He's going to worship me. I can feel it. There's going to be no back talk and no more taunting. I'm a good person."

"Yes, I know, sweetie." She rolls her eyes and kisses his cheek. She gently smoothes Anakin's hair. There are no gray strands. She comforts him and rubs his back as he moans in her arms. And yes, she had seen the bikini. She knew Anakin would become apoplectic if and when he saw it. She laughed when Leia showed it to her. She warned her step-daughter that Anakin would go ape-crazy if he knew about it.

"I'm sorry for being a bad husband the other day. I don't know what came over me. Am I old?"

Isabel placates him. She would do anything to calm him down. He was a neurotic mess.

"Of course you're not 'old', Anakin."

"Leia called me an old man."

"It's just an expression. She was teasing you."

"She says I'm self absorbed and vain."

"Well…"

"What?"

"I'm sorry, sweetie, but you are. I still love you. God knows, someone has to."

"But you understand my pain, don't you?"

"Yes. Sure I do. Why don't you get some sleep? This morning has been very stressful for you."

"This baby must be making a lot of demands on your body. You want an extra pillow? I'm going to put a pillow between us so I can get some sleep. I've had a rough morning."

Isabel would have to wait awhile to get back to sleep. Right now she had to comfort one baby while the other baby was doing back flips and suffering from a case of the hiccups.

Anakin falls asleep knowing he would be redeemed after Isabel discovers what he has done. It was a sure-fire guarantee to make her forgive him once and for all.

'_What the Sith Done Did'_

After almost three days of being banished from the master bedroom, Anakin had to make amends for his behaviour at the baby store. He returns to the store. He looks around then approaches the manager who made him leave the store the other day. The over-worked merchant was sporting a knot on his head from his fainting spell when the four Force-ghosts first appeared. The sight of the ghosts and dealing with a belligerent Sith Lord was more than he could take that day.

He sees Anakin and is about to call security. Anakin raises his hands and tells him he has come in peace. Anakin is contrite. An apology is accepted and Anakin pulls out a crumpled registry list. The manager sees that Anakin is sincere; and even more than that, he sees that the Dark Lord is desperate to get back into his wife's good graces. He buys everything on the registry list and has it delivered.

He makes sure Isabel is not around. He arranges for her mother to meet her in town for a day at the spa. Isabel was beginning to spend a lot of time at the spa lately but it was nice.

Anakin spends the better part of the evening, before Luke and Leia's departure, in the laundry room. Leia and the housekeeper, Marta shows Anakin how to operate the washer and dryer. He launders all the Onesies, rompers, socks, shirts, bibs, crib bumpers, towels and baby blankets. Leia and Marta decide to help him. The three of them stay up half the night ironing and folding baby clothes and arranging everything in the dresser drawers of the nursery. Leia pitches in even though she has to leave the next morning for Naboo. Leia is proud of her father. Who would have thought that the Dark Lord knew the difference between a gentle wash cycle and permanent press?

'_Wild on Kashyyyk'_

The landing on Kashyyyk was a breeze. Luke parks the cruiser and unloads his gear. A porter is there to cart everything to the bungalow. Upon arrival, Luke sees his friends already celebrating on the patio in their swim trunks sipping beers.

"Hey, Skywalker! Dragging your heels, bro. Get with the program. You've got a lot of catching up to do." Kyle Katarn and the two other roommates are all in their swim trunks. They are amused that Luke is behaving like an old master. He is looking too serious and Jedi-minded for their liking. They want to loosen him up.

"When did you guys arrive?"

"Three hours ago. We haven't unpacked yet. The waves were a-calling. Did you bring your board, dude?"

"Yeah. So you're drinking already? You guys are going to burn out fast."

"Hey, Horn, We've got Jiminy Cricket watchin' out for us."

"So, Valedictorian, who's got the room across the hall?"

"Thatsa be mesa!"

Valin 'Horn' Halcyon, Jr. almost spits out his beer. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and grins. "What the…Jar-Jar, dude! How're you doing, man?" He high-fives the Gungan.

Kyp sits up in the recliner. "Cool."

"How did you get him away from old Gran' Dad Palpy?"

"Jedi ingenuity. I forged his signature."

"No, really. How did you do it?..." Suddenly Valin starts to believe Luke. "Luke, you've got a set of plasma balls, man!" He high-fives Luke.

"Jar-Jar deserves a vacation after slaving for _'The Man.'_"

Kyp pulls a beer from the cooler.

"Damn straight! Jar-Jar, How about a brewski, my man?"

"Meesa get cold beer?"

"Of course you do. Anyone with enough nerve to work for that butthead Palpy deserves a brew."

"Thanks, Meesa have good time now!"

Luke looks over at Jar-Jar with brotherly concern. He doesn't want his Jedi cohorts exploiting the innocence of the easy-going Gungan. "Go easy on the beers, Jar-Jar."

Kyle is amused by Luke's all-business demeanor. He jokes and speaks to Luke in a mockingly subservient voice.

"Master Luke, are you our designated driver?" They tease him by bowing in mock reverence.

"No. You're on your own. I'm off babysitting duty for the summer."

"Waves are still primo, Jedi, bro."

"Naah…maybe later. I'm going to get some sleep. I've had a busy morning."

Luke goes upstairs to his room. It is facing the beach. He looks out and watches the waves crashing against the shoreline. There are several surfers on the water. A few Wookies are on the beach selling hair extensions. The beach patrol tells them to move along. Several hundred yards away to the right there is a stage set up for live bands. A rock concert is scheduled that very evening. Luke sees Jar-Jar running out onto the beach with a boogie board. He splashes into the water. Several female sunbathers scream as they get splashed. Luke laughs. He would join the guys later. He needed to take a nap if he was going to stay up half the night having fun.

On Naboo, Leia and Han are sitting on the terrace with her grandmother. They are talking over a light lunch. Jobal smiles awkwardly. Leia thought perhaps she should have waited a few hours before seeing her grandparents. She already had the keys to the Skywalker summer home. She and Han could have crashed there for awhile before facing the austere Ruwee Naberrie or _'Opa'_ as the twins endearingly referred to him.

Anakin didn't use the house much anymore. It was purchased out of convenience when the twins were very young and the court had awarded visitation rights to Padmé's parents. The twins would visit two alternating weekends a month. Anakin found it easier, at the time, if he had a place nearby so the commute wouldn't be so draining on everyone. He would return to the house the day before the children were due to be released to him. He was able to get some paperwork done and a few hours extra sleep as well.

Now the house was only used if the twins wanted to use it as a stopover. Ruwee did not care for this at all. He thought the twins should be under his roof and not living in a house where they would be prone to throw unsupervised parties. Anakin agreed after thinking it over some more. His former father-in-law had a point.

Leia was not happy. She had a speech all prepared for him should he question her judgment. She would tell her grandfather that she was no longer a child and that she was old enough to make adult decisions. Ruwee would take one look at Han and tell her 'fat chance.'

Leia is growing impatient.

"Oma, this isn't fair. Luke is off doing who knows what with whoever and I have to sit here waiting for Opa."

"Relax, Leia, He just wants to see you. He barely spent any time with you during the graduation."

"I don't want a lecture from him, right, Han?" She looks pointedly at Han who has no idea he would be called on to support her 'case.'

Han looks around. "Oh, you're talking to me?"

"Of course I'm talking to you!" She elbows him, hinting for Han to agree with her. Han thought all he had to do was sit and listen or sit and pretend to listen. Now she wanted him to participate! He went from Dark Lord Torment to Grumpy Grandpa Interrogation. He thought he was heading for a relaxing vacation. It never occurred to him that he would walk into an Acklay nest. And who walks out onto the terrace? None other than 'Grand Pop' Ruwee. Leia fawns over her grandfather giving him her best granddaughter embrace. "Hi, Opa, how are you? You look so handsome today…" Ruwee smiles and kisses his granddaughter on the cheek then raises an eyebrow.

"Hmmm...cut the crap, Leia. What's going on?" He takes a seat. Han is feeling out of place. Ruwee barely acknowledges him. At least Anakin chats with him before he gets tortured.

Leia looks adoringly into her grandfather's eyes.

"Uhm…Opa, we just wanted to see you. We won't keep you long. We're going to be on the other side of the lake after the weekend. I know how you enjoy your peace and quiet."

Her grandfather snaps back.

"Who told you that?"

"Uhm…" She does the 'doe-eyed' little girl smile she used as a child when she tried to cajole him.

"And what do you plan to do on the other side of the lake that you can't do here with your Grandmother and me?"

"We're on summer break."

"What's this 'we' stuff? Can't he talk?" He nods over in Han's direction. "You her puppet? Don't give me that dumb look! Yes, I'm talking to you. Sit up. You're on my turf now. You may get away with shenanigans at the Skywalker house but not here."

Han clears his voice and begins to speak. He has no idea what is going to say only that he had better say something quick.

"Well, sir, I…"

"Shut up. I've heard enough from you. You let my teenage granddaughter push you around? What kind of a man are you. Don't you have a backbone?"

"Well, I…"

"Don't interrupt me. Exactly what are your intentions for my granddaughter, Mr. Solo?"

"Actually I haven't…"

"Just as I thought. Well, you listen to me. I'm going to make myself perfectly clear. Nothing is going to happen while you're in my house. You understand me?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Opa, we were planning to stay at the house near the lake…"

"That's what you think. Young lady, must I remind you that you are from a prominent family and my name caries a lot of weight and respect in these parts. I don't want my grandchildren causing any disgrace to my name or your mother's memory. You and your brother have done enough damage in the past year."

"What about me? Don't you care about me?"

"Of course I care about you. I just don't want you to do anything foolish. As long as you are on Naboo you will stay in my house. You are not going to be shacking up at that house with this man."

"That's not fair! This is my vacation!" She angrily stamps her foot. Jobal sits quietly and lets her husband continue."

"Don't throw a tantrum here, my dear, it won't work. If you're staying, you sleep in the house. Mr. Solo can stay in the guest house out back."

"What? But, Opa! That's not fair. Oma?"

"Don't try it. Your grandmother is not going to allow you to drag her into this."

That afternoon Leia resigns herself to lying around the family pool. She is wearing her 'standby' swimsuit. It is a navy two-piece sports swimsuit. She pouts as she relaxes on a pool chair angrily flipping through a fashion magazine. Her sunglasses hide the fact that she has been crying. She is upset with her grandfather. She knew this was going to be an awful vacation. She needed to do something fast but she didn't want her grandfather to know and definitely not her father.

Han emerges from the guest cottage. He is wearing a new pair of blue swim shorts since losing the orange pair at the bottom of the lake on Coruscant. The old ones have since been acquired by a bumbling Gungan during a morning swim.

Han sits on the chaise next to Leia's. He smiles.

"You know, this ain't such a bad deal. I know we were heading for the lake, but the pool's good too."

Leia cannot understand why no one feels her pain. She was expecting more from Han. He has no right to be happy while she's so miserable.

"No snakes? You happy?"

"Leia, things could be worse."

"How could they? Why didn't you say something?" She reaches over and sucker-punches him in the arm.

"Owh…stop that! So, you're mad at me? I'm just a guest here, Sister. I get enough grief from your dad; I'm not about to make any enemies here."

"Why didn't you defend me?"

"I can only say I'm sorry so many times. For what, I have no idea."

"Well, say it again anyway."

"Sorry."

"You know, we're stuck with my grandparents for the entire weekend, don't you?"

"We're getting three squares a day, free accommodation, a 'critter-free' landscape and a nice view. I ain't complaining."

"You're not going to have much fun."

"Listen, sweetheart, I'm just grateful not to get Force-choked or encased in carbonite. To me, this '_is'_ fun. Your grandfather's not half bad once he gets used to his grandkids trying to get over on him. You and Luke must be a real pain in the ass when you visit here. The poor guy's probably in the refresher taking a valium right now."

"My grandmother didn't say a word. I can't believe she let him talk to me the way he did."

"He is your grandfather and you are staying at his place. Can I give you some advice?"

"No, but I'm sure you'll keep talking."

"Did I tell you that you're just a wee bit spoiled?"

"That's not advice, that's criticism." She sits back on the chaise lounge and continues to flip through the magazine.

"Do you mind if I take a swim? I'm trying to warm up. There's a big chill in the air. I think it's coming from your direction."

"Go on, make fun of me."

Han removes his shirt and takes a dive into the pool. Leia ignores him. He looks to see if she is watching him. She purposely ignores him. He swims to the edge of the pool and wades close to where she is sitting. She turns on her side and continues to ignore him.

"Who are you mad at now, your worship? You used to admire me before we landed in this 'awful' place. Just think, if we were to stay at your summer home across the lake, there would be no servants. You would have had to cook. That would have caused uproar. The Naboo Fire Department would have shown up to douse the toxic flames. You would have been arrested for arson for making an incendiary meal. So where are your cousins? They heard 'baby cousin' was visiting so they ran for the hills! You've been reading that fashion magazine since you came out here. You a slow reader? There's not a lot to read, sweetheart, just pictures. It's not a holovid."

Leia turns the pages to the magazine then flips Han the finger.

"Now, that's not very ladylike."

A few moments later Han does a cannonball dive. He splashes Leia. She is soaked. Ruwee happens to be standing in the family room looking out the window when he sees this. He laughs out loud.

Jobal is busy doing needlepoint. She looks over at her husband.

Ruwee, what's so funny?"

"Looks like that rogue boyfriend of hers has a sense of humor."

"I see you have a sense of humor as well. I'm glad to see you laughing again."

"Look at her face! She reminds me so much of Padmé. I'm starting to like this guy. She's so adorable."

"Ruwee, now that you've had a good laugh at our granddaughter's expense, why don't you let her go to the lake? It can't do any harm at this point."

"Ohh, I'd just as soon let her stew for the rest of the day. She's so cute when she's angry."

"She's angry with you."

Ruwee sips his tea. "Anakin called me and said she had some horrible skimpy bikini in her beach bag. I think he overreacts. That swimsuit is quite appropriate."

"Leia is a good girl. She would never wear anything inappropriate."

Ryoo, Ruwee's oldest granddaughter walks in and looks over her grandmother's shoulder.

"What's going on?"

"Your grandfather is laughing at your cousin."

"Oh, Leia's here! Great! I want to talk to her."

"She may not be in the mood to discuss the wedding. Your grandfather made her a little angry."

"So, how's my wedding handkerchief coming along?"

"Just fine. It's a good thing this wedding's not for a while. You have a lot to do, missy."

"You'll be there to help, Oma. I'm going to go out and chat with Leia and her pirate boyfriend." Ryoo is grinning as she heads for the sliding door to the patio.

"Just don't tease her."

"Why is Opa so happy?"

"It seems her father was upset with Leia's choice of swimwear but I think that blue bikini is quite appropriate. Anakin might be over-protective."

"Blue? Oh, that's nice. I thought she was going to wear…"

"Wear what?"

"Oh, never mind. I'm just glad to see Opa laughing for now."

Ryoo walks to the sliding door to the terrace. She exchanges a smile with her grandfather then walks out onto the terrace. She makes sure to close the sliding door before she chats with Leia.

"So, how's my brides' maid? And what happened to the 'real' bikini?"

Leia lifts he head from the towel as she tries to dry off. She turns to see her older cousin and smiles.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" She reaches over the chaise and hugs Ryoo. "Hey! What brings you over here?"

"Oma is making a wedding handkerchief for me; and I decided to see my favorite twin cousin. Where's your older boyfriend, 'Lolita?'"

"Swimming laps."

"Did Opa give you a lecture?" She takes a seat on the chaise where Han had been sitting to chat with her cousin.

"Yes. '_Blah, blah, blah…You're making me look bad…blah-blah…keep up appearances…blah-blah…Your mother would never have allowed this to happen…' _Ryoo, he keeps forgetting mom married a man four years her junior. At least my boyfriend was shaving when I met him. Dad was still coming out of puberty!"

Ryoo laughs. "Leia, you're terrible!"

"It's true. Something's seriously wrong with my family. Now, my dad marries our court-appointed child care specialist and she's eight years younger than he is. I think we have some abnormal gene for cradle-robbing."

"So where does that put you?"

"I'm 'Lolita,' remember? I think the gene reversed itself."

Ryoo and Leia giggle.

"I think Opa likes him." Ryoo looks towards the pool.

"I like Han. We're good together. I guess we'll have to see where it takes us."

"Your boyfriend can really swim laps well for an _'Old man'._"

"He's working off steam."

"I see."

Back on Kashyyyk, Luke is waking up from a three hour sleep. He decides to join his friends for a ride on the waves. He changes into his wetsuit. It is black with a blue and white shoulder with short sleeves and emblazoned with the Jedi emblem on the left sleeve and leg.

Luke, Kyp, Valin and Kyle carry their boards. They get looks from the other surfers and sunbathers. They continue on towards the water. They are looked upon with awe and reverence. They are all wearing blue-mirrored sunglasses. Kyp tries to keep the illusion going as he tries hard to hold down a belch from his beer drinking earlier. The others try not to react but Kyle wears a smirk on his face.

As they hit the waves the beachgoers watch. They four perform some amazing rides on the waves.

After it is over, they head back to land. Spectators cheer the _'Fab-foursome'_ for the great performance on the water. As they are heading onto the sand they see a group of girls walking in the opposite direction towards them. The girls are wearing bikinis covered by pink windbreakers with the Jedi emblem emblazoned on the left side. Callista is in the group. Both groups are wearing their sunglasses. The guys are stopped in their tracks. Rocca Tachi is the unofficial 'leader' of the band of 'Jedi chicks.' Kyle discreetly dips his sunglasses to get an un-obscured peek at the girls. He forms a toothy grin as he immediately recognizes them.

Rocca smiles when she sees the boys. There is mischief in that smile of hers.

"Hey, Luke, I've got a surprise for you."

"Oh, yeah?"

Valin chimes in. "We've got the 'Witches of Eastwick' here. Watch out, Skywalker."

Rocca shoves an unsuspecting Mara in front of the group. Luke is genuinely surprised but a bit embarrassed with the guys watching him.

"Mara!"

"Luke?"

"I thought you were going on vacation on Yavin4 with your family."

"There was a change of plans. They let me come here instead."

"Oh. Well…that's cool. Have a good time."

"Luke, you're not going to talk to me?"

"Uhm…"

"Are you going to let the "Three Stooges" dictate who you speak to?"

Kyp nudges Luke.

"Hey, don't let her dis' your buddies like that, Skywalker."

Luke plants his board in the sand then turns slightly, looking back at his 'friends.' He walks up to Mara the takes her aside to talk privately. Both groups are looking over at them. Finally Kyp smiles at Rocca and her group.

"What up, Ladies?"

Sena Shan, a grand niece of Bastia Shan, walks up to Kyp and circles him like a nexu circling its' prey. She looks him up and down then shakes her head in pity.

"I don't know how the Jedi Council let you graduate. You're a sad excuse for the New Order." She is face-to-face with him. They look into each others' eyes. She suddenly leaps into his arms causing him to drop his board. Valin and Kyle hop out of the way of the falling board as she engages Kyp in a long, passionate lip-lock. Her brunette hair gets entangled in his hands as he grabs hold of her face. Kyp is getting into it now. He stops for a moment and smiles.

"So, my place or yours?"

"As if!" She looks over at Kyle and Valin who are mesmerized then shocked at the outcome. She shoves Kyp out of the way after releasing him. "What are you two looking at? Show's over Jedi newbie's!" The girls brush pass the three Jedi graduates.

Kyle whispers to Valin. "That was so hot. I wouldn't mind being shot down like that...sort of."

Valin laughs. "Kyle, you have no self-respect, man."

"No…none at all. Hey, Kypster, you okay, man?"

"That was so humiliating. I think I'm in-love." He shouts after the girls. "Call me!"

Meanwhile Luke is having a private conversation with Mara. The guys are taunting him.

"Oh, Mara, where forth art thou?"

Luke shouts back at them. His sunglasses are perched on his head and the black cord attached to them dangles along the back of his neck.

"Shut up."

Kyle folds his arms as he stands next to his surfboard. "We're losing him. She's using her Force-wiles on him. Remember us in your will, Skywalker! All is lost when a guy picks a chick over his buddies."

Luke is ashamed for snubbing Mara. "I'm sorry…it's just that I've got to spend almost two months with these guys… Mara, let's go someplace else. We can't talk here."

"I thought you'd be glad to see me."

"I am…really. So, are you going to the concert?"

"That depends. Do you have a date with someone else or is it stag night with the Jedi boy squad?"

"Let me go inside and change. I'll meet you in an hour at the Okikuti Grill. I'll meet you there, I promise."

Mara agrees and runs to catch up with her friends. Luke grabs his board and heads back to the bungalow. Kyp watches Luke leave them without saying a word.

"See what those Sea Devils do to a guy's spirit? They suck it dry! God, I hope Sena asks me out."

Kyle looks at Kyp thinking his friend is an idiot.

"I think you're supposed to ask her out."

"She wants me; she's begging to ask me out."

Luke returns to his room. He takes a shower and prepares to get dressed. His mobile rings.

"Hello? Hi, how's it going? No….why? No! No way! I can't. Because...Don't you dare! There's no more room at the inn. Leia, it's not my fault you took a crappy vacation! No! Come on! I don't want my twin sister hanging out with her nerfherder boyfriend in my beach house with my friends. What? I don't owe you anything…Leia...Leia…don't do it! Don't make me kill you. Don't hang up…I'm telling you for the last time...Do Not Come…Hello? Hello…Oh, Sith!

_To be continued… 'Son of a Beach!'_


	71. Chapter 71 Son of a Beach!

_Chapter 71_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Son of a Beach!'_

'_Walk Sith Way'_

'_I Don't Like Spiders and Snakes in the Garden of Eden'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Luke was fit to be fried by dark lightning.

Leia had pulled a dirty trick by calling him. He did not feel sorry for her but he did understand. Why she had picked Naboo for a summer vacation was beyond his comprehension. She knew full well what would be in-store for her there. Now she wanted him to bail her out. Luke swore that if she shows up at the bungalow he was going to turn her away. Plus, his friends were afraid of her.

Luke had more pressing issues to deal with. He had a _'date'_ with Mara. Lucky for him, his house mates were still on the beach. There was no shortage of young women on the beach from at least 12 different universities across the galaxy. Kip and Kyle were using their best pick-up lines. Valin sits with Callista.

"So, Callista…I don't see you around much. What are you up to?"

"I'm on vacation."

"Hah-ha…very funny. (Sigh) "

"We have absolutely nothing to talk about, do we?"

"No. Not a thing."

"But you kind of like me right?"

"Val, get over yourself."

"Ah, I see, you're still carrying a torch for Skywalker, aren't you?"

"Luke and I are old history."

"I never asked you if you were history. I asked if you were still hung up on him."

"Val, we're friends, ok?"

"So, you want to go with me to the concert?"

"You don't give up, do you?"

"Seeing that neither of us has a date…."

"Oh, so you're okay dating one of the _'Witches of Eastwick,' _eh? All of a sudden we're acceptable?"

"I was just joking. You girls are okay."

"Gee, thanks Val, I feel so attractive right now. So, I fall into the _'Okay_-_ to- be –seen- with' _category?"

"Callista, lighten up, I'm trying to be nice."

"Yoda always told us, _'Try Not. 'Do' _"

"Well, I guess that's why I didn't make valedictorian." He looks directly ahead at the water. Jar-Jar is being buried in the sand by children vacationing with their families. It's a game they devise called 'Bury the Emperor.' One of the children whacks Jar-Jar in the head with a beach shovel. The Gungan leaps from the sand mound and chases the children. They run screaming.

"So, if you still want to take me to the concert…"

"I'd love to."

"Cool…Can I also have a ride on your surfboard?"

"Gee…I don't know…you were bustin' my chops just a minute ago…"

"Please?"

"Uhm…The force is with you, my nubile Padawan."

"I know." Callista returns a coquettish grin."

"You're going to need a wetsuit, young lady. Don't want to see that hot little body all scratched up. That swimsuit you're wearing isn't going to keep you warm either."

"Val, you say the most romantic things."

"Yeah, that's me, _'Mr. Romance._' Come on."

Luke meanwhile makes his way to the Okikuti Grill. He arrives and waits at the door. Someone taps him on the shoulder.

"Table for two?"

"Yes, I…" He turns and finds Mara standing behind him. "Hello, Mara. I knew it was you."

"Hello…So, you come here often?"

"Ha-ha."

A pretty Twi'lek hostess greets them and shows them to a table with a view of the sea. Luke has a reservation. They are taken care of quickly.

"A waiter will arrive in a moment to take your order."

Luke smiles up at the hostess and thanks her. Once they are alone, Luke smiles across the table at Mara. "Mara, I want to apologize for my behavior on the beach earlier. It was bad form. I hope that you can forgive me."

"You were caught off-guard. It's not easy having your buddies lumbering over you waiting for you to trip up in front of a girl."

"Don't make excuses for me. I was being rude; it was inexcusable. My parents didn't bring me up that way."

"I know. So…" She looks at the menu then closes it. She leans across the table, shielding her face from any customers who might be watching them. She grins slyly and whispers to Luke. "You have money on you this time, right?"

"Yes. Yes I do." He laughs after recalling the night of his graduation when he _'lost'_ his clothes and wallet. "Knock yourself out."

"Hmmmm…I am sort of hungry."

The waiter arrives at their table to take the order. He is a tall middle-aged gentleman with a slight build. He has an air of self-importance about him. Luke looks around; it is a very nice restaurant. The menu is altered during the summer months to cater to the younger crowd but they still get their regular clientele, officials from the Republic and businessmen visiting for trade talks.

"Good afternoon. My name is Jonni Faytonni and I'll be your waiter today. May I interest you in something from the non-alcoholic beverage list?"

Mara leans on her elbow and presses her finger to her forehead as she looks up at the waiter.

"Why the non-alcoholic wine list?"

"I can tell you are both under age and management has had to crack down on students passing off fake id. every summer. So, shall it be blue milk, Rodia soda or the N.A list?" He leans over and discreetly whispers to Luke. "If I were you, and I wanted to impress a young lady, I would go with the N.A. list. No one can tell the difference really."

Luke smiles brightly. He and Mara exchange glances

"We'll have whatever you suggest from the list."

"Very good, Master Skywalker. Would you like to hear about our specials today?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Yes, you do but I have been instructed to push the specials anyway. I'm quite good at reciting them. I can memorize over 562 different specials. I never get it wrong."

"Oh. I see. Impressive. Well, why don't you run down the list of specials for our amusement?"

Mara giggles. The waiter ignores them and proceeds to run off a number of dishes that are of no remote interest to the two Jedi teens. He seems to enjoy hearing himself speak. Luke and Mara have been listening to _'Prime Filet of Shaak in a Felucia mushroom and Corellian red wine reduction sauce_, _sautéed sprouts and Tatooine lemon roast potatoes and Duck ala Pera…blah…blah…blah_. After running down the list, he waits for a response.

Mara looks up at the waiter.

"You have any burgers?"

"Why yes we do, little Miss. We have 10 different varieties of gourmet burgers. We have Felucia Spring Mushroom with Geonosis Cheddar, Dantooine Mozzarella, Smoky Barbecued Alderaan Burger with Chipotle relish…"

"Ok, ok…I'm not that hungry… I'll have the Geonosis …"

The waiter enters the order on his cyber pad. "One Geonosis Special…."

"But I'd like the bun toasted, and I don't want the cheese on the top, I want it on the side. And I'd like Jundland cheese instead of the Cheddar if you have it. If not, then no cheese, just grated Utapaun cheese, but only if it's real. I don't want any of that powdered stuff. If it's out of a blaster can then nothing."

The waiter inquires sarcastically.

"Not even the burger, Miss?"

"No, just the burger. But then don't toast the bun, just warm it."

"Anything else, young lady?"

"Yes, I would like Cherry Rodia ice cream soda with vanilla ice cream but I want the ice cream in the glass and the soda on the side."

The waiter gives her a blank stare then speaks. "Soda on the side of what? Oh, never mind. Shall I include pickles and chip or fries with your entrée? Or will they be on the side or in the next galaxy somewhere so as not to run into the other items on the plate?"

Mara laughs.

"Ha-ha! You're funny! They can be on the same plate. Thank you."

The waiter blinks then continues.

"Yes, I'm here for your amusement." The waiter turns to Luke for his order. "Young man, what would you like? Shall I alert the kitchen to split your order up as well?"

Luke tries not to laugh. He purses his lips then places his order.

"I'll have the Kachirho Sea Bass platter, please."

"It's a filet. Would you like the bones reinserted for authenticity, Sir?"

"No, thank you."

"Anything to drink? Are you remotely interested in the wine list?"

"I'll have a Rodia cream soda please. Nothing from the N.A. list, thank you."

The waiter smiles but is obviously appalled by the pairing of the fish dish with the juvenile soft drink. He takes their menus and the _'wine'_ list. "Thank you. Your_ 'Youngling Happy Meals' _will be prepared forthwith. We know you _'children'_ have a curfew. Humph."

As the waiter leaves, Luke stares in disbelief at Mara. Mara looks back at Luke.

"What?"

"Never mind. So, how did you get your parents to let you come to Kashyyyk?"

"I told them Callista was joining me. They said fine. They consider her 'little miss goodie two-shoes' so it was a go. They think Rocca and Sena are bad influences."

Luke laughs. "Oh, right. They wouldn't want their sweet little redhead corrupted by those _'bad'_ girls. I should have reported you for violating me at the lake that night."

"I didn't hear you complaining."

"I was in shock! I couldn't move."

"So you're saying I was like a mynock?"

"Your words, not mine."

"You're blushing again."

"I was embarrassed."

"Such a pity. No one heard your screams." She mocks him and pretends to scream in a very quiet tiny voice. "_'Help...help…I'm being attacked. Help'_"

"Mara, stop it."

She giggles.

"Witch."

The waiter returns with the beverages. He seems either bored or too self-important to be catering to these two teens. He lets out a heavy sigh.

"One Cherry Rodia ice cream soda; ice cream on the side for 'Little Miss;' and a Cream Rodia soda for our young Jedi. I took the liberty of providing you with a separate glass of ice in case you have some aversion to mixing ice with your soft drink. I assume you wouldn't want to ruin the unique bouquet by watering it down with ice. You can alternate chewing on the ice and wash it down with your soft drinks. Will there be anything else, children?"

Luke smiles politely.

"No. Thanks, we're fine."

"Cheers"

The waiter leaves again in a huff. He mutters to himself.

"If this is any indication what it's going to be like here, then it's going to be a long hot summer."

Luke and Mara realize that they have been insulted but the waiter is so comical, they ignore it. Mara 'constructs' her ice cream soda. Luke watches with amusement.

"Are you leaving the Jedi Order to become an architect?"

"No, I just like to arrange it a certain way."

"You know we have just spent most of our time so far ordering, don't you?"

"But look at all of the quality time we get to spend together. What's the deal with that waiter?"

"What? I think he's hilarious. He kind of reminds me of Threepio."

"Oh, God, there can't be more than one of those personalities in the galaxy could there?"

"You never know. I suppose that's his human doppelganger."

They snack on crudités until their order arrives.

The waiter returns several minutes later with their food.

"Geonosis Special, bun toasted; Jundland cheese on the side, Pickle and chips on plate but not so close to the burger; and one Kachirho Sea Bass platter, no bones."

Luke looks up at the waiter as his food is placed before him.

"Thank you."

"You are quite welcome. Bon Appétit."

Back on Naboo, Leia prepares to spend the evening at a reception at her grandfather's country club. Han is looking for something appropriate to wear. All he has on his cruiser is his captain's uniform. Leia's uncle lends him a dinner jacket, shirt and tie. He has a 'chat' with her in the garden.

"Did you know about this?"

"Han, I didn't think he'd invite us."

"Who does he usually invite?"

"The family."

"And the 'family' includes you, not me!"

"I thought you might enjoy it. At least we're not going to be here for long."

"Why not?"

"Because I have an idea to get us out of here."

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise…A nice surprise. You'll love it."

"Does that mean we can skip this monkey show?"

"No, I'm afraid not. Relax, Han. We have the rest of the afternoon to get ready. You'll look nice all dolled up."

"That's just it; 'Doll-face;' I am not in the mood to get all _'Dolled up.'_ If I didn't like you so much I'd kill you."

"You'll thank me later. Let's go for a walk."

"I'm starting to feel sorry for your father more and more each day."

"Don't. He thrives on pity from others. He's probably throwing himself a pity party as we speak."

Back home at the Coruscant Skywalker Rancho Deluxe, Anakin and Isabel are sitting up in bed watching holovids and eating ice cream. Anakin is feeling much better after the special attention he gets from his wife. He almost forgets he has two tormenting teens. The ice cream bowl is empty. Isabel hands it over to Anakin. Anakin smiles and takes the bowl.

"Refill, my darling?"

"Yes please. And make it snappy. Don't make any pit stops like you did the last time."

"I drank a lot of water earlier. A man can't hold it forever."

"Drink less."

"You slave driver." He laughs and heads out of the bedroom.

"Shut up before I Force-choke you."

"You wish! Hahahaha!" He watches as she raises her hand and pretends to Force-choke him. Anakin grabs hold of the door and pretends to slide to the floor as if he is being strangled. "Acckkkkk…aaaakk…hahahahaha! I'll be back in a few."

"And don't forget the pera sandwiches."

"As you wish."

Isabel continues to watch the holovid on the plasma. She feels the baby move inside her. The baby moves his hand to follow hers. She giggles as she watches this. Anakin returns and sets the bowl down on the night table. He removes his robe and slides back into bed.

"What's this little Jedi up to? He's a fast mover. We're going to have to buy one of those baby tethers to keep up with him."

"Our child is not a pet."

"Speaking of pets, he's going to love Skippy."

"Pass me that bowl of ice cream."

Anakin hands her the bowl then places his face on her belly. He smiles as the baby stretches and presses his tiny feet into Anakin's face. Anakin blows raspberries in her belly. Isabel laughs and the baby becomes extremely active.

"Stop! That tickles! Anakin! Oh!"

"He likes it when I do that. He's laughing."

"Okay, that's enough. Get off of me."

"You look so beautiful right now."

"Really? I look attractive lying here like 'Jabba the Hutt' eating a salad bowl full of ice cream?"

"That's just the way I like you; pregnant, barefoot and vulnerable."

"Are you making fun of me?"

"Not at all. I'd be too scared to make fun of my pregnant wife. You know…I can get away with a lot of stuff seeing that your mobility is limited. I could rearrange the furniture in the living room; I could hide your shoes; I could chase you around the house. I'm guaranteed to catch you every time."

"Try me."

"Let's see you get out of that bed, _'Jabba._' Hahaha!"

"So, is that how it's going to be? If I could get up…"

"But you can't. Ha!"

"I thought you would have learned your lesson by now seeing that I'm the only person left in this house who remotely cares about you. You should be nice to me. You'll only get away with that Jabba insult for so long. Luke and Leia haven't been gone a day and you're taunting the only person who likes you."

"Listen, I'm king of the galaxy now. No one is going to ride my ass this summer. I'm in control."

"Fine, you keep running your mouth. I'll be all-powerful…one day…you'll see."

"Yeah…sure you will." He smiles and kisses her hand. "You keep that hope going; I'll still love you, Honey."

"Don't patronize me, Anakin."

"Yeah, yeah…I'm shaking."

They continue to watch the holovid. It is a peaceful afternoon.

On Kashyyyk, Luke and Mara have finished their early afternoon supper. Their waiter checks on them.

"So, young ones, was your meal to your liking?"

Luke smiles up at him.

"Yes, it was very nice, thank you."

"May I interest you in the dessert menu? We have two, our sophisticated 'Adult' menu and the '_Youngling Carousel Special'_ menu. Any Coffee, tea, warm glass of milk, or perhaps cocoa before bedtime?"

"No, we're good…Thanks. Check please."

Luke pays the tab. When the waiter sees the generous tip, he can't be nice enough. He gives them each a lollipop.

Luke and Mara walk along the sand. She is enjoying her lollipop. He is carrying their shoes. Mara hangs onto his arm as he tells her about Leia contacting him.

"So, what are you going to do?"

"I'm hoping she stays put. She had months to think about a nice vacation and she chooses Naboo then announces it to our grandparents. I suppose she felt it was the right thing to do since she was going to be there anyway. I love my sister but I don't want her here."

"When are you going to tell the guys?"

"I'm hoping I won't have to. Maybe Han will talk some sense into her."

Mara stops and faces Luke. She smoothes his hair with her hand and gently touches his face.

"Well, if she shows up, we have an extra room at our beach house. We can move the luggage out."

"That's generous of you but not necessary."

"Or they can stay in my room…and I can stay with you."

"Mara…remember our promise?"

"I remember but I still want you."

"Let's see what happens."

Mara kisses him. Luke drops their shoes in the sand. He holds her in his arms as the summer breeze blows across the sea. The sun is setting.

**Evening on Naboo. **

Han is getting dressed for the reception and cocktail party. He walks to the main house. Leia looks lovely in her Amber-colored dress. She smiles when she sees him.

"See, Han, you clean up nicely, you always do."

"You don't look so bad yourself."

"We're riding with my grandparents."

"Wonderful." He rolls his eyes.

They arrive at the party. It is full of people; from government officials to local dignitaries. Han feels terribly out of place. Waiters walk around serving trays of drinks. Han takes two. He sees some people from whom he has moved contraband for. Both 'parties' avoid eye contact. Leia is looking for Han in the crowd.

"Oh, there you are… I want you to meet some people."

"Leia….can't I just sit alone behind this plant and not talk to anyone? I don't need this fantasy party. These people are all a bunch of phony bigwigs with nothing important to talk about."

"Han, come on. That's not fair."

"Listen, I work in the real world with real responsibilities."

I know you work in the real world and you're very good at it. But that's work. Where do you live, Han? Can't you have a little fun without judging us?"

"I'm not judging."

Ryoo comes over with her fiancé.

"Han, you remember Kurt Nerran, my fiancé?"

Ryoo's fiancé extends his hand but Han just gives him his classic 'Two-fingered;' salute. He is not in the mood for pressing the flesh. Leia and Ryoo are approached by some friends of her grandparents. Han and Kurt are left alone to chat.

"Hey, how's it going?"

"Great. Looks like I'm joining the Naberrie family too."

"Not me, pal."

"I see. You probably don't believe in marriage."

"Yes I do. That's why I never got married. I'm the boss of me, No patriarch is going to dictate my life."

"I don't see it that way."

"I'll get you a guide stick and a pair of sunglasses. Excuse me."

Han walks over to find Leia. Music is playing.

"Han, dance with me.?"

"If it will get me through this evening."

They are on the dance floor. Han is feeling uncomfortable but at least he is away from the cheery _'Ken doll'_ Ryoo is engaged to. Leia knows what Han has said to him but she doesn't care. Dancing with Han was all she wanted for now. She rests her head against his chest while the slow romantic music plays.

"You know, I've been to every party here. Right there, since the age of seven. Now, here we are...together dancing in front of God and everyone."

"So everyone will notice that I can't dance worth a darn. Nice."

"I don't care. I'm just happy you're here with me. You didn't have to come."

"Someone has to keep you out of trouble."

"Thanks."

A few moments later Ruwee cuts in.

"Mr. Solo, mind if I cut in and dance with my young granddaughter?"

"Not at all, Sir."

Han steps back and leaves them on the dance floor. He drifts over to the doorway. Some streamers come lose from one of the chandeliers. A long clump lands on Han's shoulder. He looks from the corner of his eye. He doesn't wait to find out what it is. In Han's mind it is a snake. He freaks out.

He recovers after causing a disturbance. Everyone turns to see a crazed man flailing his arms. Embarrassed, he walks out into the garden. Leia stops dancing with her grandfather when she hears a crash. Han has fallen over two patio chairs. He claws though the air like a cat tangled in a ball of yarn.

Leia follows him outside. She tries not to laugh but his hair is tousled and clothes disheveled.

"Han, are you alright?"

He looks around like a paranoid schizophrenic. "What? Oh, I'm fine."

He smoothes his hair and brushes the leaves and dust off his borrowed tux.

"What happened?"

"Nothing. I'm fine. He stands against a tree. 'What's so funny?"

"You. You should have seen the expression on your face."

"Very funny. I'm glad I was a source of amusement to all your stuffy friends. I just hate spiders and I hate snakes! I'm fine now."

"That's good. Maybe you should see someone about this phobia you have."

"I don't need to talk to a shrink. I'm a well-adjusted scruffy nerfherder. I saw how those people in there were looking at me. I'm perfectly fine."

As they are chatting, a real snake slithers from a nearby tree.

"Oh, Han…"

"You want to talk now? I'm not unstable."

"Han, I don't want to alarm you but there's a snake on your shoulder."

Leia tries to warn him but he thinks she's goofing on him and ignores her.

"Ha-ha. Very funny. I ain't falling for it. I know a hanging vine when I feel one." The 'vine' is moving down his shirt. He is suddenly frozen. "There really is a snake on me, isn't there?"

"Uh-huh."

When he realizes it is real he yells then slips and falls into the hedges. Leia laughs then takes the snake. It is a pet of the son of one of the groundskeepers. Ruwee hurries out onto the garden of the reception room.

"Now what?"

"It's ok, Opa. He just slipped."

"Is he drinking?"

"Opa!"

That night Han and Leia sit in one of the private sitting rooms.

"I promise tomorrow will be better. We'll take a nice ride in the country."

"What do you have in store for me there?"

"Relax, Han. Have I ever steered you wrong?"

"Yes."

Evening on Kashyyyk

Luke and Mara are sitting on the beach at night looking up at the stars. They go up to his bungalow and fall asleep on the balcony chaise after watching a fireworks display. The live concert can be heard faintly in the distance.

SUNDAY MORNING –

Back on Coruscant, Isabel develops a new 'talent' much to the chagrin of her husband. Anakin and Isabel are on the terrace after breakfast. Anakin is working on his data pad. Isabel is taking a tray of dishes to the kitchen. Anakin looks up and watches her.

"Hey, Bel?"

"Yes?"

"Take this, I'm done with it."

She takes an empty plate from the patio table where he is sitting.

"Hey, Bel?"

"Yes, Anakin?"

"Come here."

"What is it?"

"Hand me that data card over there on the counter, will you please?"

Isabel does as he asks. He is relaxing on the chaise dressed in his linen drawstring lounge pajamas and open-front shirt. She returns with the data card. He checks it then looks at his data pad again. Without looking up he speaks.

"Thanks…oh, Honey…refill this for me, will you?" He holds out an aqua beverage tumbler.

Isabel snatches the beverage tumbler from his hand. She answers him. She is being sarcastic.

"Will there be anything else, Master?"

"No, not at the moment."

She places her hands on her hips, wherever they were the last time she actually saw them, and stands over him.

"I thought you were supposed to be waiting on me 'hand and foot.' What happened to that, huh? It's the least you could do seeing that I'm about to burst this baby out onto the floor."

"What? Now what kind of an attitude is that? I take good care of you. I'm keeping you in shape. I've got to protect my investment in that hot little body of yours. You and that 'plasma ball' of a belly you've got there."

"Are you making fun of me again?"

"Of course not, sweetie. There is just so much more of you to love."

"Well, my back hurts and you're sitting on that chaise as if you're at some beach resort."

He finally looks up at her.

"If you're so concerned about your back, why are you walking around in those stripper pumps?"

"You asked me to wear them."

"Since when do you ever do as I say? You and the twins defy me at every turn. But I must admit; you look super hot in them. Stand still, let me look at you, you little minx. Yes…I love that little strut you do. It's so cute. Walk back over here."

She angrily taps her foot, her hands still on her hips holding his tumbler.

"You're a real comedian."

He reaches over and grabs onto her mini sun dress. She slaps his hand away then turns to leave.

"Ow! Bel! Why did you have to hit me so hard?"

"Oh, be quiet, I barely touched you." As she turns around again to look at him, she sees he is not where she left him. She is just as surprised as he is. "Why are you on the floor?"

"You pushed me."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Did…Bel?"

"Don't bother me now. I'm busy." She sashays away.

Anakin gets a Force-call from Leia.

"Hey, what's up, Sweet pea?"

"Nothing."

"Naboo not the happening place you thought it would be?" Anakin says this with mock concern.

"It's just that Han's not having a good time."

"What? Is he supposed to? Who cares about him?"

"I do! Daddy! It is a vacation…Luke is having the time of his life…I can feel it."

"So?"

"What about me?"

"Leia, don't do what I think you're going to do. It's not right."

"It's not right that I should be suffering."

"Hey! Who suffers more than I do? No one! You kids have no idea. Your stepmother just hit me. I think I broke something."

"Oh, Daddy, I've never seen Isabel lay a hand on you."

"She hit me…hard." He sits back in the chaise and crosses his legs. He is listening to music and tapping his fingers on the arm of the chaise.

"You exaggerate."

"I have pain and suffering."

"Yeah, right. So how is she?"

"She's looking like a hot little expectant mom. I got her this cute little mini dress and little gold pumps. She's so cute…but lately, she's gotten a little slap-happy and she's irritable all the time."

"Really? Gee, I wonder why."

"Yeah, don't know what's gotten into her."

"I think it's a little 'sith.'"

"Ha-ha! That's funny. So, what's my little princess going to do today?"

"We're on our way to the countryside for a picnic."

"That's nice."

"Daddy, can I…"

"No."

"But I haven't asked you anything yet."

"You don't have to. I know what you want. The answer is _'No.'_"

"But, Daddy…"

"No to Yavin.. Anyway, I was thinking of taking Isabel on a nice vacation before the baby comes."

"What? Isn't that how she wound up the way she is being in that 'Love Shack?"

"That's especially why you're _'NOT' _going; and besides, it didn't happen in the 'Love Shack…I mean, Yavin…It happened…Hey! That's none of your business! Bottom line, young lady, No Yavin for you. You stay on Naboo and learn to like it..."

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"I hate you!"

"Get in line, Sweetheart. So, did you enjoy the party last night?"

"Yes, it was nice…but…Han saw a snake."

Anakin's tone sounds sincere and full of concern.

"Really?" But not that sincere and not at all concerned. "Hahaha hahaha! I wish I had been there for that. Was it funny as Hell?"

"Actually, it was."

"He should really see a therapist about his fears."

"Why? So he could spend as much time on the couch as you?"

"Hey! That's not fair. I had legitimate issues."

"You still do…So, Daddy, the answer to my other question is still 'No?'"

"That's my final answer, Sweet pea."

"Just remember when it's your turn to ask a favor, Dad, and you will…see if I help you out."

"Enjoy your picnic." Click. Anakin closes his eyes and sings along with a song playing on plasma radio._"Pressure! Lava falling down on me…is surrounding me… Watching some good friends screaming You were the chosen one! … Let me out! Da-dada…_' Hey, Bel, honey, where's my drink…I'm dying of thirst out here. My throat is like a Tatooine sand box. Bel? Where is that woman?"

Leia pouts then yells to Han after her father 'shuts her down.'

"Han, we're going to the picnic!"

Back on Kashyyyk, Luke and his roommates take the girls surfing. The girls are all wearing pink and black wetsuits. Luke is amazed by how quickly Mara has learned. He is on the board with her as they are about to negotiate a big wave. He stands behind he and steadies her hips. They rise with the wave and it brings them in. They return to the beach. Luke carries Mara on his shoulders as she carries the board above her head.

"You're doing really well. I don't have to teach you much."

"I'm not that good. I still have a lot to learn."

Mara figures if she begs for more training, she will have more time with Luke. The other girls are doing their part at playing helpless damsels but the guys are enjoying this.

Luke and Mara sit on the beach and wait for the others to ride the waves back in. Luke's hair is quickly becoming bleached by the sun after barely two days on the beach. Mara sits directly in front of him with her head resting against his chest. They watch as Callista and Valin land back on the beach.

"Callista and Val make a nice couple. I'm not saying that because you used to like her but they seem to get along well."

'Mara, you have nothing to worry about. My heart belongs to a 'red-headed she-devil.'

"Luke, I'm jealous."

"Don't worry, not much to be jealous of. She's a real shaak cow."

Mara is shocked by his silly remark and playfully elbows him in the stomach.

"I warned you, Pinky."

"Oh, you took offense to that? Hahaha!"

Mara leans back against his chest then tilts her head back so see can see him. He is wearing his metallic blue mirrored sunglasses. He can only kiss her on her forehead after almost bruising her nose when his glasses hit her.

"Ouch! You owe me breakfast for that, rich boy."

"Oh, sure, you're only after my credits. Don't get too comfy, my sweet. The money's not mine, it's my dad's, and he's already spoken for."

"You can surely afford to buy me a breakfast sandwich and coffee."

"I suppose I could scrape enough together. Get off your Padawan butt then if you want to be fed."

Valin and Callista walk over to where Luke and Mara are sitting. Valin grins as he approaches them.

"What are we going to do now, Master Luke?"

"I don't know about you two but we're going to get breakfast."

"Cool! I'm starving. Where are we going?"

"What's this _'We'_ crap?"

Kip, Sena, Rocca and Kyle re-join the group. Kip's eyes light up.

"What's this I hear about breakfast?"

Valin grins, knowing that mentioning joining them for breakfast will make Luke crazy.

"Skywalker's heading over to get breakfast."

"Let's get some grindage, dude."

"Well, Mara and I are going to have breakfast together."

"Who's in?"

"Whoa, whoa! No one's 'in'…You're all on your own."

Kyle laughs as he looks down at the_ 'Love Doves.'_

"Oh, he's got to talk to his biker chick girlfriend."

Mara gives Kyle a sharp glance.

"Bite me, Kyle."

"Would love to, Mara."

"Luke and Mara change their clothes and head to the Okikuti Grill. It is Sunday Brunch Day. Waiter Jonni Faytonni is just arriving on duty when he sees his 'Jedi customers' heading in the direction of the dining establishment. One of the hostesses sees him peering through the window. The middle-aged blonde walks up behind him.

"What's going on, Jonni, you look as if we're being invaded."

"Hermione, Every summer, this place is crawling with Jedi teens on summer holiday. It looks as if we're going to have an encore visit by _'Malibu Ken and Red Menace Barbie.'"_

"They look like an adorable couple."

"They've brought re-enforcements with them. I'd better go warn the kitchen staff."

Leia spends the day with her cousins having a picnic in the countryside. Han is actually having a good time.

Anakin is still on the terrace. He is seated on a bench. Isabel is relaxing on the chaise while her husband removes her 'stripper shoes' and massages her feet.'

_To be continued… 'A Temp o'ary Inconvenience - Go Re-think Your Life '_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	72. Chapter 72 A Temp o'ary Inconvenience

_Chapter 72_

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'_A Temp o'ary Inconvenience - Go Re-think Your Life'_

'_Sunday Brunch without Jedi Teens is Like a Day without Mayhem'_

'_The Mouth from the South of Coruscant'_

'_I'm in-Love, I'm all Choked Up…The Sith Has Fallen and Can't Get Up'_

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Sunday Brunch at the Okikuti Grill is an event to behold. The older guests have already eaten and are about to leave for guided tours into the Wookiee Forest to view the ruins. Vacationing Jedi teens aren't the least bit interested in history. They just want to 'chill' and have fun…and sometimes eat.

Jonni Faytonni greets his _'favorite' _customers as they enter the restaurant.

"Good morning. Welcome back, kids. What can I interest you in today? We've got an 'All-you-can-eat Brunch bar…"

Mara interrupts. Luke knows this is going to be another long dining experience.

"Aren't you going to read us the specials?"

"Well, I was just about to do that. We have a deluxe ala Carte Special."

"What that?"

"'_Eggs Plagueis,' 'Fiery Mustafar Salsa Omelet,'' Steak and Eggs with Felucia Mushrooms.' _Beverages are_ Hoth Champagne _cocktail, Corellian Bellini's and Kashyyyk Mimosas. Of course you will get the '_Youngling Jedi Temple'_ versions of same."

Luke chimes in. "But our parents let us drink alcohol."

"Can you show proof or a legal I.D.?"

"No."

"We also have some delicious sandwiches, casseroles and salads. We have shredded shaak over rice with a side salad or entrée salad of baby Felucia greens with pera honey vinaigrette."

As soon as Mara is about to speak, the waiter pulls out a portable recorder. He mutters to himself.

"Uh-oh, here we go." He looks at her. "Go ahead, sweetheart, place your order."

"I would like…what's that?"

"It's a new method of taking orders. We want you to be happy with your selection."

"Oh. Can I have the Baby Felucia green salad but without the honey?"

"The honey is in the vinaigrette."

"But what if I just want the pera vinaigrette without the honey?"

"Well, my dear, that's the way it comes. We can strain some pera and create a special dressing just for you."

"Yuck! That sounds gross. Can I have plain vinaigrette on the side?"

"That sounds delightful, Miss. That's an excellent choice. So, what would you like to drink?"

"Well…"

"We have a wide array of beverages at the brunch bar…they're all free."

"Okay. Cool."

"Young man, what will you have?"

"I'll have the steak and eggs."

"There are mushrooms in it."

"That's fine." He glances across the table at Mara letting her see how he orders.

"Mustarfries or hash browns?"

"Fries, please." Suddenly he takes one look at Mara across the table and remembers that she likes to steal food from his plate. "Could you double that order?"

"As you wish. I take it you've changed your mind about the 'Youngling Jedi Temple' cocktails? As a reminder, the soft beverage bar is over there. Go knock yourselves out. It's all you can drink. You can get your sugar fix for the day."

"Thanks"

"It's my lot in life to serve you, Sir"

Meanwhile, Kip, Kyle and Valin are at a separate table with Mara's roommates. A different waiter tends to them. Kip calls over to Luke.

"Luke, dude. Come sit with us."

"Not now."

The waiter returns to Luke and Mara's table.

"Is the riff-raft bothering you?"

"They're just my roommates. They're cool."

"I'll turn up the heat then."

He walks away. Luke and Mara giggle. Luke watches as the waiter prepares to take their order to the kitchen.

"I know he makes fun of us but I like him."

"How come he didn't record your order?"

"My order is always easy. You ask for a lot of stuff."

"He was mocking me? Why I ought to Force-choke the skinny twerp."

"Careful, Mara, anger leads to the dark side."

"I am not a picky eater."

"Yes, you are."

"Are they going to put that seasoning on your fries?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Never mind."

Kip and the others are at the _'All-You-Can-Eat'_ bar. They decided to forego the Ala Carte and specials. Mara looks over at them.

"We should have done that."

"Then you would have sent part of the meal back to the kitchen for them to alter. You're better off. Trust me"

She decides to go help herself to the free beverage fountain. She fills three glasses and sets them each in front of her at their table. Not one of the drinks is for Luke.

"You must really be thirsty."

"I don't want to make too many trips. They might think I'm being greedy."

Luke pretends to be shocked."

"No! You? Never." He gets up to get a drink. Kyle meets up with him at the beverage dispenser.

"How's your little red fox doing?"

"She keeps me laughing."

"You know she was suspended from the Academy twice, right?"

"Yes, Kyle, I know. She's better. I think she's turning her life around. Better now than years later. I like her."

"Think she'll graduate next year?"

"Of course she will. I have faith in her." He puts more ice in his glass.

"I think that's what keeps her going. She knows you won't abandon her. She's very lucky. I hope she knows that."

"I think she does."

'_**A Rockin' Evening on the Beach'**_

After spending the rest of the day on the beach, Luke and Mara decide to attend the concert. They missed the previous nights' performance while sitting on the beach. They are standing in the crowd as the bands perform one after another. Mara is in true form, yelling and going wild. Luke doesn't even try to keep up with her. Callista is sitting on Valin's shoulders. She calls over to Mara. Mara nudges Luke.

"Hey, lift me up!"

"Why?"

"I can't see."

"What! You girls are a pain in the ass."

"Let me stand on your shoulders."

"Are you on drugs?"

"No."

"Drunk?"

"No!"

"(Sigh) Hurry up! I hope we're not blocking anyone else's view of the stage."

Mara hops onto Luke's shoulders. She smiles then high-fives Callista. Luke stares over at Valin.

"If she pulls off her top tonight, I'm going to drop her on the ground. How did you get Callista all wound up?"

"I didn't do a thing, honest. This must be her wild side."

"We're in big trouble, you know that?"

"This one used to be yours. I think you have an effect on Jedi chicks."

"Pray there are no video cameras."

"Skywalker, dude, the vacation is just beginning. There's plenty of time for these chicks to go wild on us."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

"Tomorrow's another day, my friend."

**Monday**

Leia and Han leave Naboo after breakfast with her grandparents. They board the cruiser. Han has no idea where they are going…that is until they are out of Naboo airspace.

"So, Princess, where are we heading?"

"Kashyyyk."

Han almost lets go of the controls as he turns to look at her.

"Oh…whoa….Hey, wait! Luke's there."

"I know."

"Did you clear this with him first?"

"I'll talk to him once we get there."

"I have a bad feeling about this."

"Relax, it'll be fine. You worry too much."

'_Landing on Kashyyyk…Coruscant, We have a problem'_

The _'Fab Jedi Foursome'_ returns to the beach house after taking advantage of some early morning waves. As they reach the path leading to the house they sense a serious disturbance in the Force. Luke stops cold and involuntarily drops his surfboard. His housemates are affected too. They set down their surfboards. They all turn to Luke. Kyle speaks through clenched teeth.

"Skywalker!"

"I told her not to come!"

"Crap, man!"

"It's not my fault!"

Valin shoves Luke in front of the door.

"You talk to her."

"Alright! Don't push!"

Kip laughs. It is an uneasy laugh. "You're scared of her!"

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are...coward. He can destroy a Voxyn but he can't talk to his sister."

"I'm going in now."

"Make it snappy, Skywalker. Where's your lightsaber?"

"Ha-ha, very funny."

Luke walks inside. He doesn't see her around but he can feel her presence. Suddenly Luke manages to smiles to himself when he remembers that Kip suggested he use his lightsaber on his sister. He walks around the corner to the kitchen area then quietly makes his way to the bedrooms. He can hear someone walking around. He jumps out ready to attack.

"Aha! There you are!"

Leia is not in the least bit surprised. She is actually very calm and perky.

"Oh, hi, Luke. Are you wearing bras now?"

She holds up a pink 32B cup for Luke to see. The strap dangles from her fingers.

"It's not what you think. Put it down."

"Wait till I tell Daddy."

"You should talk. I'm telling him you're here."

"No! Don't! Luke, we've come in peace. We just need a place to stay. We won't be any trouble, I promise."

"Hand me the bra, Leia."

"Fine!" She Force-tosses it to him.

"Why are you here?"

"Opa wouldn't let Han and me use Dad's house on the lake."

"He can't do that."

"Yeah, but after he spoke to Daddy, they _'agreed' _that he didn't want any 'Hanky panky.' He's being ridiculous. I don't know what he's talking about. So, anyway, I couldn't be bothered."

"What, so you bother me?"

"You've got plenty of room here." She looks around and waves her hand as if she has performed an inspection.

"Where's Han in all this? You got him whipped, and good, don't you?"

"Han is outside with the ship for your information."

Han is standing with the cruiser in the parking area. He told Leia it wasn't right to intrude on Luke and his friends. He chooses to remain as far away from the beach house as possible. He is on the Com pacing in front of the cruiser and rubbing his temples. Suddenly he stops pacing.

"Hey, Chewie…yeah, it's me…Bet you're never going to guess in a millennium where we are…we're here on Kashyyyk…no…because I'm whipped and I followed the woman I apparently love to this place so she can torment everyone in her wake….yeah…of course I'll come see you…Listen, everything here on the resort side is completely booked because it's the high season…yeah…rich Jedi brats. Anyway I was going to ask…Yeah…really? You're serious? I don't want to put you out or anything...great…I'll tell Leia. She'll be thrilled. Sure, she's adaptable. Of course she likes you…oh, that _'carpet'_ joke? She was just kidding…. She'll appreciate it. She's a survivor. Ok, Pal, great. Thanks again, Chewie, I owe you."

Han ends the call.

"She's going to kill me."

Han makes his way to the beach house. The three housemates are still mulling about outside. Luke and Leia are in a stand-off. Luke is furious now.

"I'm calling Dad! This is so unfair. Dad! Dad?"

Silence. Suddenly, after a long pause, Anakin speaks.

"Yes, son?" The voice seems preoccupied and disinterested in whatever issues Luke is about to lay on him right now.

"Dad, Leia's here on Kashyyyk and she won't leave….Father, please… make her leave."

Silence.

"Uhmm…Oh, what's that, Luke...You need cash for something chic?...oops…we're breaking up…"

"Dad? What's happening? Dad? Can you hear me? Dad?"

Leia is laughing her head off. Luke is annoyed. "What are you laughing for?"

"He's not going to answer."

Back on Coruscant Anakin is in the bathtub with Isabel. He is surrounded by soap suds. He sips pera juice from a goblet and is sucking on her toes. She giggles.

"Stop it!"

"You know you want it."

"Anakin?"

"Yes, my love?"

"Why didn't you talk to Luke?"

"You really know how to kill a mood. Anyway, I'm not getting involved. I can't. Let them work it out."

"But, Anakin, they're about to kill each other."

"I know. It's hilarious."

"It's not right. It's not funny."

"Hey, it's not right to leave someone on a lava embankment either, but 'Sith' happens."

"You're lucky I don't have Force powers to choke your ass. Your children need you."

"Now don't you start making me feel guilty. I won't stand for it."

"Fine."

"You should be glad we have this time alone"

"I suppose."

"The twins are old enough to resolve their differences."

"Well…"

"I said they were old enough…I didn't say they were mature enough. Now, where were we?"

"Anakin, no more of the toe stuff. It tickles."

"You mean like this?" He kisses her toes. She goes crazy laughing.

"No more, please…stop! Oh!"

"It's useless to resist. Obi-Wan never told you how powerful I am."

"He told me enough. He told me my child's father is an idiot."

"I am your baby's daddy." He lets out an evil laugh. Isabel giggles and nods her head in disbelief.

"You're a stupid man."

"I know, but I'm a laugh riot, aren't I?"

"Hold onto my feet. I'm sliding under the water."

"I warned you not to put all those bath oil pearls and rose petals in the tub. What's with you and the rose petals, oil pearls and fruit bath soap? I go to the office everyday smelling like an _'effing'_ fruit basket."

"Oh, stop. You exaggerate."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Aha! Gotcha!"

"I hope this baby kicks your ass when he comes out. You'll be sorry."

"I've got my birth plan all ready. I want an epidural."

"I thought we agreed to a natural childbirth."

It will be natural. I'll be doing the pushing. My mother talked me out of the non-medicated birth. She said it wasn't a lot of fun."

"Listen, I don't want you in any pain either but I don't want you taking any medication. I thought we were on the same page with this. We'll discuss it later."

Anakin adores his new mother-in-law but he did not like the idea that she was undoing everything he had already discussed with Isabel.

Back on Kashyyyk, Luke and Leia are circling one another like nexu in an arena on Geonosis. Anakin refuses to get involved and is _'incommunicado.'_ Someone had to resolve the situation. Han rushes inside the beach house.

"Leia…Leia! Don't worry about anything… I've saved the day…I made a call. Luke, you and the guys can keep your 'Jedi Crib.' Leia, may I speak to you alone for a moment? Excuse us Luke, I've got to talk to _'Princesszilla.'_"

Leia follows Han onto the balcony. Luke goes to the top of the stairway. He calls the guys but they're not budging. They are waiting until it's _'really'_ safe to re-enter the house. What they hear next puts fear in all of them.

Fish in the sea rise to the surface and die. A huge reef break rolls in soaking hundreds of sunbathers. There is a sudden eclipse of the sun, birds fall from the sky. All Luke and the guys hear is a deafening:

"What? Are you crazy? ...He lives in a tree!"

Han can be heard trying to calm her.

"If you just listen…He's doing us a favor. Hey, you said you wanted to come here. It's authentic. It's got natural rainforests…."

"Yeah, if you're a Wookiee! A tree! The house is in a tree, Han…It's in a tree!"

"Alright! No need to repeat it three times. And keep your voice down."

"I refuse to do it. No!" She stubbornly folds her arms and pouts.

"Then I'll stay there and you see if you can work something out so Luke and his pals will be gracious enough to let you stay. You rudely crashed their beach house and they'd be well within their right to turn you away. But I know Luke. He's a good kid and he would do what a Jedi would do, especially for his sister."

"But this was supposed to be a vacation for the two of us. It's ruined. She starts bawling. Tears are flowing like Mustafar lava.

The guys downstairs roll their eyes. Everyone feels a great amount of discomfort about the situation. Luke is embarrassed.

Reverberations can be felt across the galaxy.

Obi-Wan feels the disturbance all the way to the Dune Sea where he keeps that dump of a hut of his. He set up shop their over 18 years ago during the rise of the Empire. He hid out there until the family court called on him during Anakin's fight to reclaim his children.

Now, with their friendship mended, Anakin took great pains to look after his old master.

Anakin told him over a thousand times to sell it and invest the money.

Obi-Wan had a treasure-trove of Jedi artifacts and other items stored away in the hut. Among the booty was a stash of 100 year old single malt whisky. The estimated value: Over a million credits and this was a conservative estimate. Anakin suggested he auction it off or sell it on 'GBAY' the intergalactic bidding facility based on Kamino.

The bottles were in their original crates and both in mint condition unaffected by the sudden earthquake. They were saved from ruin just in time. The old Jedi master was finding it difficult to part with the expensive liquor. He promised Anakin he would give serious thought to giving up the 'liquid gold.' He would relocate it in a private storage facility where it will be well tended to by 'Top Men.' Anakin would see to it.

Anakin meanwhile slept like a baby after his bubble bath that morning. Aftershock? What aftershock?

The Emperor also felt the disturbance.

"A Skywalker is in distress."

The four Force-Ghosts were feeling the disturbance. They are playing a game of Sabacc. Ki-Adi-Mundi looks around.

'_What was that?'_

Mace examines his hand. _'Leia Skywalker freaking out. Anakin's not dealing with it or she would have shut the hell up by now. I raise you five.'_

Qui Gon checks his cards.

'_Leia needs a little reality check. I feel sorry for the poor sap she winds up with.'_

'I feel sorry for Luke. He so wants to kick her little ass right now. Poor kid. Come on, Qui-Gon, you got anything or not?'

'_Nope. I'm folding.'_

Aayla shows her hand.

'_What's this, guys? Is this okay?'_

The men look at her hand. They are all dumbfounded.

'_Aayla, you playing dumb, Baby? Damn, she's got a royal flush! I'm done.'_

'_I win? Cool!'_

Ki-Adi-Mundi takes a look at his hand. He drops his cards on the table.

'_I'm out.'_

'_I hate playing with women. They're always 'surprised' when they win. Don't know a damn thing they're doing.'_

'_You taught me everything, Mace.'_

'_I sure did, baby, and boy do I regret it.'_

Qui-Gon sits back for a minute.

'_Aayla what are you waiting for? Drop the top.'_

'_What?'_

'_Isn't this strip sabacc?'_

Mace looks at Qui-Gon after the obnoxious remark.

'_Hell no! Even if it was, and we were playing, no one wants to see you naked.'_

'_Aayla used to before she left me for you.'_

'_Oh here we go, bringing that old 'sith' up because you lost. If that don't get all. Qui-Gon, go throw yourself a pity party. Go on, get out of here.' Aayla sits on Mace's lap. _

'_Now boys, let's not fight.'_

'_I'm a lover, not a fighter. Isn't that right, baby?'_

'_It sure is, sweetie.' Mace and Aayla are making out at the sabacc table._

'_Will you two get a room?'_

Back on Kashyyyk Luke gives Leia a cup of Bimmisari tea to calm her down. He feels sorry for Han being caught up in this mess his sister has created. He sits with her then begins to speak.

"You know, everyone is pissed at you right now."

"I'm sorry. It's just been so awful"

"Leia, it's only been three days…barely that! How terrible could it have been?"

"It could have been. I had to come here, it was my only hope."

"Well, Leia, there are lots of teen vacation spots in the galaxy. Why did you follow me?"

"I had no place else to go. Everything is booked by now. You know that."

"You should plan better next time 'round. Listen, I've got to talk to the guys. It's not fair to them, you being here. You weren't in the plans."

"I don't want to go back home right now, Luke. Daddy will make my life miserable."

"Oh, right. And what about my life?"

"I promise, I won't get in the way."

"If we decide to let you stay, and I'm not promising you they will, you'll have to obey the rules of the house. Okay?"

"Yes."

"And you'll take whatever accommodation we provide for you."

"Yes, of course. I don't ask for much. I'm really flexible."

"Yeah, right. Uhm-hmm, sure you are."

"I'll be good. I promise."

"Give me a few minutes." He gets up and turns to leave. He quickly turns about-face and looks her directly in the eye. "And don't you move."

Luke leaves for a short time to speak to his three housemates. Kyle almost blows his stack, Valin makes a quip about locking her in the storage room and slide food under the door, and Kip just listens with a big smirk on his face.

"What have you got to say about this, Kip?"

"Well, I'm sort of torn being that I made out with her when we were twelve. I'd do her…Oh, sorry, Luke." He shrugs then makes a goofy face.

"This isn't funny, Kip."

"I know, I was just thinking about Padawan summer camp. Your sister was cute."

Valin force-slaps Kip in the head. "Shut up, Kip. Luke, you're going to be an 'only child' for the next two months if you can't get her under control. One of us is going to kill her."

"I'm sorry guys, really."

"I knew I felt that _'Mouth from the South of Coruscant' a _galaxy away."

"So, is everyone in agreement?"

They each utter a half-hearted _'Yeah.'_ Kip raises a finger as if to ask a question.

"Who's going to supervise her?"

Luke responds with reassurance. "Oh, that's a non-issue."

Luke returns upstairs to speak to Leia. She sits on his bed looking all forlorn and helpless. She is wearing her hair in two looped braids which makes her look like a lost child. Luke isn't buying the _'poor little rich girl'_ act.

"Okay, this is the deal…first, there will be no negotiations. You can stay with the following conditions…#1. Stay out of everyone's way."

"I can do that"

"Two." He holds up two fingers.

"I can count, Luke."

"Don't interrupt me or I'll send you packing. Now…#2….You're restricted to your room and the living room…and stay out of everyone's way.."

"Ok, Ok, I got it. Which room do I get?"

"The one downstairs near the patio."

"But that's a high-traffic area…what about the room on the other side of the hall from Kyle and the guys?"

"No."

"How come?"

"Cause. RULE #3 You pay punitive damages for pain and suffering."

"What?"

"You want to get back on that ship?"

"Ok, fine."

"Is there kitchen help?"

"What did I tell you about interrupting and asking stupid questions?"

"But…"

"The kitchen and laundry are near your room. You should have no reason to ever come up here…ever."

"Ever since you graduated you've gotten too serious."

"Leia, don't make me get into Rule number four. I'll have to embarrass you. Now, get out of here so the guys can come upstairs to change."

"Okay, I'm going."

"Did I hear a 'Thank you?"

"Thank you."

Luke watches as Leia goes downstairs. She passes the guys who are waiting. They mutter_ "Hello"_ She rolls her eyes at them. She goes to 'inspect the spare room near the patio.

Luke sees Han and hurries down to talk to him before Leia gets to him. Kyle is in his room and sees the two talking. Han scratches his head then seems to nod as if to agree with whatever Luke is saying to him. He pats Luke on the back then heads for the beach house. Luke goes to retrieve his board from the pathway. Jar-Jar is heading up the path. He waves to Luke.

"Housa yousa, Luke Skywalker Jedi?"

"Just fine, Jar-Jar. How are you?"

"Okiday, Luke. Meesa happy to be here on super holiday."

"That's great, Jar-Jar."

Just as the Gungan passes him he thinks for a moment. He didn't tell Leia about Jar-Jar for good reason. Several minutes later everyone hears Leia yelling. The guys laugh.

"Jar-Jar? And we have to stay near the laundry room?" Han threatens to let the guys taunt her if she doesn't calm down.

Meanwhile, back on Coruscant.

'_The Emperor Gets a 'Temp'_

Already several days without Jar-Jar, and the Emperor is desperate. He is falling behind in his work. He had space stations to build and people to torture with dark lightning. He is agitated and he hasn't had breakfast.

"Hilda! You old bat! Where's Jar-Jar's temporary replacement?"

"He's late, sir."

"Jar-Jar was never late. He was a bumbling Gungan but he was never late. Where did we get this temp from?"

"From the _'Now or Never Temporary Staffing Service,'_ Sir."

"Whatever happened to that temp we were supposed to get from _'Dark Lightning Temps?'_"

"The agency said he _'burnt out'_ , sir."

"Oh, drat! Hilda!"

"Yes?"

"What the hell do you do all day seven days a week to support me?"

"I answer the phone and screen your calls when Jar-Jar is on break, sir."

"What else?"

"Update your appointment book and make travel plans."

"What else?"

"I work with Jar-Jar, sir."

"What does he do?"

"He makes your appointments and travel arrangements."

"What else?"

"Delivers your mail."

"What else?"

"Licks your stamps, brings you coffee and those crullers you like so much…and picks up your dry cleaning.."

"What are your hours?"

"Seven a.m. till noon."

"What are Jar-Jar's hours?"

"Seven a.m. till eight o'clock pm."

"WELL. Until a temp arrives, why don't you get off your ass and bring me my mail…sometime today, Hildagaard."

After several minutes of silence, the Emperor hears a 'clink-clack' sound. It grows louder as it approaches his office.

Clink-clack Clink-clack Clink-clack Clink-clack Clink-clack.. The sound is repetitive and nerve-racking. Palpatine mutters to himself as he sits at his desk writing.

"Sounds like bloody old General Grievous …finally! There you are. Hurry up, now; I've got a lot of work to do."

"Where do you want it?"

Palpatine taps his 'inbox with his 'Mont Oscuro' fountain pen.

"Right here, you old wrinkled bat"

Clink-clack Clink-clack Clink-clack Clink-clack.

The repetitive noise resonated across the vast office. The Red Cloaked Imperial Guards watch in silence. Finally, a wizened old woman with a walker and portable oxygen tank drops a stack of mail on the desk. The heavy stack of mail barely makes it inside the inbox. Palpatine is growing impatient. He makes a horrible scowl then yells.

"Hurry up! I don't have all day!"

"Mind your manners, sonny." She squints through thick eyeglasses.

"Thank you, Mummy."

"That's better."

Palpatine rolls his eyes then sits back in his chair.

As the old woman turns to leave, she speaks to him again.

"Oh, that woman called again. You know, the powder blue young lady with the alopecia condition. She wants you to call her. She sounds distraught."

"She always sounds distraught. It's her normal speaking voice."

"Well, call her back…she's tying up the lines…I trained you better than that, Dantius."

"Yes, Mummy."

Clink-clack, Clink-clack, Clink-clack, Clink-clack, Clink-clack, Clink-clack

Palpatine taps his fingers on the desk again as he waits impatiently for the elderly woman to exit his office suite.

"Guards!"

The Red-Cloaked Imperial Guards stand inside the doorway. They look at one another. The emperor stares at them.

"Well? What are you waiting for? You bumbling idiots! Get her out of here!"

The guards grab the old woman by her shoulders. The walker is still in her clutches as she is lifted through the air and plunked down in the hallway outside the Emperor's office. All that can be heard is a blood curdling scream as she goes sailing down the corridor. After a few moments of silence you can hear a distant 'Thank you" and then the walker is in full operation once more.

Clink-clack, Clink-clack, Clink-clack…The Emperor Force-closes the door to shut out the deafening sound of the walker. _And then there was peace._

The Emperor resumes his work. Suddenly the red light on the Emperor's intercom is blinking.

"What is it now?"

"Your temp is here."

"Why didn't you say so? Send him in, you incompetent old crow! Did you leave me a copy of his résumé?"

"It's on your desk."

"Oh." He pulls the résumé from the bottom of the stack of mail.

"I didn't hear a 'Thank you."

"Thank you, Mummy."

"You're welcome, Sugarplum."

The Emperor takes a look at the résumé. The office door opens. The guards escort the temp inside. Palpatine stands and manages a feeble smile.

"Come in, don't be afraid..."

A skinny dark-haired young male in his early thirties enters the office. A pair of antennae sprouts from his head. Palpatine gestures for him to take a seat.

"Mr. Elan B. Sleazabagano, welcome. What does the 'B' stand for?"

"Bug. That's what my friends call me."

"Well, we won't call you that here. So…Mr. Elan Sleazabagano, it says here you used to be a medical student. How interesting. What happened to that career?"

"It wasn't for me."

"What happened?"

"I got kicked out for no reason." He notices a platinum sphere rotating freely on a small table beside his chair. He starts to play with it, trying to figure out how it works. As Palpatine is speaking and scanning the résumé for relevant work experience, Elan slips the object into his pocket.

"What made you decide that temping is the way to go to jump-start your career?"

"A wise man told me to go home and re-think my life."

"Ah…I see. And have you?"

"Oh, yes!"

"So, where have you worked recently?"

"Geonosis…moving boxes."

"What happened with that?'

"Some boxes were moved and went missing."

"I see. And they blamed you…yes…I can only imagine, it's not easy being a temp. I see you have no powers with the force but there are permanent positions here. Have you considered a career on the dark side?"

"Dark side of what?"

"Never mind. Well, Let's get you started shall we?"

"Ok."

"You'll be working outside in the cubical near my secretary's office. You've already met Hilda."

"Oh, yeah, the old broad. I thought she was dead."

"The guards will show you out and one of the interns will show you where you'll be sitting."

"Ok."

As Elan is about to leave the Emperor's office, he is blocked by the guards. Palpatine calls him.

"One moment please…Have you taken something?"

"No"

Suddenly Elan collapses to the floor in a spastic clump. He lets out a pathetic whimper.

"Ow."

"You can leave the sphere here." Palpatine points to the location on the table where the object had been resting.

"Oh, Heh Heh… Did I still have that? You have some nice stuff here.

Elan manages to get up and limp over to the table. He returns the sphere to its base then wobbles out of the office.

"I'll be going now."

"Yes."

Once Elan is settled in he calls the temp agency.

"Yeah…hi, It's E.B….Listen, I don't know if this gig is going to work out…." While he is talking he is stuffing pens and other objects in his pocket. "I think that guy I'm working for is strange…He tazered me or something…is that normal? What do you mean no one else will hire me? I've got my rights. I have to stay on for how long? That guy kinda creeps me out… (Sigh)…Fine! But I deserve …alright. Fine."

He hangs up the phone. Suddenly he is _'attacked'_ again. All of Jar-Jar's nick-knacks fall to the floor.

Palpatine swore if any of the bungling Gungan's personal possessions or office supplies goes missing, this no-account temp will be in for more than dark lightning.

Back on Coruscant, Isabel is getting bed rest. The doctor wants her to take it easy. Anakin playfully calls her a 'faker' for being in bed. Threepio brings her mail to her bedside. Artoo serves her refreshments. Anakin is no where to be found. He is in the docking bay downstairs in the storage room watching Monday Afternoon Pod Racing on the Intergalactic Sports channel. He is calling in his bets. Boba Fett is with him. Lando cancels at the last minute. The pager buzzes. Anakin looks at it then turns it off.

"What's she want now? I've never seen her like this. Why is she so needy? Man! Boba, I gotta go. My ball and chain is screaming for me. I am so put upon."

"Okay, boss. Shall I wire your winning to your Rishi Bank Account?"

"Yeah, that sounds fine. I'll be in communications with you later. Thanks, Boba."

Anakin returns to the house. He pokes his head inside the bedroom door and smiles.

"Hey, beautiful, how are you?"

"Where have you been all this time? I was trying to call you."

"I'm here now. What can I get for you?"

"Can you get me some fruit and a glass of milk, please?"

"Sure. You still can't roll yourself out of that bed?"

"You know, Anakin, I'm onto you. You keep it up."

"Nag." He laughs then walks over to her. He fluffs her pillows.

"There! All better?"

"I didn't ask you to fluff my pillows."

"There's no pleasing you."

"Oh, Anakin…cut it out."

"So what do you want from my life now?"

"Just the fruit and the milk please."

"Gee, I don't know if I can do that. Hahahaha!"

"See, if I could Force-choke you, I bet you would hop-to."

"Aha! But you can't." He watches as she playfully clenches and releases her fist. "Ok, I'll be back."

She smiles then lies back against the pillows. She hears him goofing on her. She calls him"

"Beware of the fist! Heheheh!"

"Okay! Aaaack..Aaaack…I…can't…Beh..beh…"

There is a loud thud outside the bedroom door.

"Anakin, you are so silly…Anakin?" Isabel slips out of bed and heads for the door. Anakin is on the hallway floor on his back. He is coughing ... his face is blue. Isabel panics as she manages to lower herself to the floor to check on him."

"Oh, sweetie, are you alright? What happened?"

Anakin manages a raspy, "You choked me…oh…"

"What can I do for you?"

"Water…please…"

He reaches for his neck and manages to cough.

"I'm so sorry. I honestly didn't know…that worked? Let me help you up, Honey."

He can only speak in a whisper. He puts all of his weight on her. Threepio hurries down the hall.

"Madame, Isabel, is everything alright?"

"Would you please bring some water for Anakin, please?"

"Of course. Right away. Oh, Dear."

Isabel helps Anakin to the bed. She fluffs the pillows. She applies a compress to his throat. He holds it in place. Isabel smothers him with kisses and helps him drink the water Threepio hands to her.

"Thank you, Threepio."

"Will he live, Madame?"

"I think so…you think I should call for the doctor?"

Artoo chatters something aside to Threepio. Threepio answers in a curt whisper.

"Oh, hush…this is serious. Madame didn't know her own strength. The poor master, we almost lost him. Have some compassion, Artoo."

'What is he saying, Threepio?"

"Oh, nothing of importance." He is listening to Artoo at the same time. "He does think that the master could use a stiff…Artoo!" He ignores Artoo from this point on. "Madame, he does seem to be getting his color back. Look, He's trying to tell us something. He wants you to get something…"

"What is it, Anakin? More water?"

He nods his head 'No.'

Threepio panics.

"He thinks he's going to join the angels in heaven! Perhaps we should call the children home from their holiday."

Anakin panics and pounds his fist into the mattress and vehemently nods his head _"NO!"_

He points to the ceiling. He becomes frustrated.

Anakin points to the remote to the plasma which is on the table.

"Madame, he wants the remote. Maybe he wants to tell us something by using it."

Isabel hands him the remote. He fumbles with it.

"Anakin, why don't you relax?"

He hands her an empty bowl that used to have sorbet in it. It is a bowl she had used earlier.

"You want some sorbet for your throat?"

He nods_ 'Yes._'

Isabel puts on her slippers and leaves the room. She heads for the kitchen. While she is away, Anakin surfs the plasma until he gets the next pod racing event on the ISPN. Threepio takes a double take when he sees Anakin getting comfortable. Anakin gestures for him to keep quiet then makes some threatening hand gestures that the protocol droid understands only too well. Threepio gulps then walks to the door and looks down the hall. Artoo cruises away and giggles to himself as he heads for the living room.

For the remainder of the day, Anakin is being waited on hand and foot by his very pregnant wife.

Isabel is guilt-ridden and tends to his every need. He writes a note to her on his data pad.

"_I forgive you."_

"I'm sorry, Sweetheart."

Anakin writes. He has to correct his spelling.

"_It's ok. It's only temp o…tempoa..ry."_

_To be continued… 'Back in the Saddle Again…The Sith Recovers'_


	73. Chapter 73 The Sith Recovers

_Chapter 73_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Back in the Saddle Again…The Sith Recovers'_

'_Curb Your Dog – Heavy Metal Dumping Ground'_

'_Officer, I Know who Robbed Me…Do you Need a detailed description of What he Took?''_

'_Bronze Metalist'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Everyone at the beach house was recovering from Leia's intergalactic meltdown. Everyone avoided Leia for the rest of the day. Han made sure to have a schedule planned out so as to prevent any contact or altercation between Leia and the other housemates. It was working…so far.

On Coruscant Jedi archivist Madame Jocasta Nu had to reset the database. The exam results for the lower level Padawans had to be reentered so they could be credited in the new semester.

Anakin's bruise from Isabel was disappearing. No one had ever tried to choke him…well there was that time when he had a lapse of judgment which led to that little disagreement with Obi-Wan on Mustafar. He was still experiencing some _'residual'_ pain. Isabel had no idea what she had done. Her grip was like that of a baby pulling on someone's hair or shaking a new toy. It was a vice-like grip and she didn't know how to let go. If he was going to survive the end of the third trimester with her, he might want to mind his actions. He was thinking of training her to use this new 'gift' but she might use it against him. This is one time he could not fight back. He figured he would just as soon behave himself until the baby arrives. The best remedy for this? Go back to work.

Anakin wanted to escape the house but he didn't want to do it alone. Skippy accompanies him for the 'Grand Return' to the office. This was actually fun without end because as soon as Anakin entered the building the storm troopers scattered to clear the way. The dog did nothing threatening to cause the fray but the troopers were wary and terrified. They had never seen a 'dog' before. Anakin decides to do something fun just to stir the pot. He could be such a troublemaker sometimes.

As Skippy and Anakin walk through the lobby he gives a silent command for the droid dog to go into a growling, snarling, and rabid-like attack-dog mode. Everyone runs for cover. After frightening the three Imperial officers off the elevator, Anakin turns off the command. He and Skippy enjoy a big laugh. Skippy wags his titanium tail with doggy glee. Anakin pats him on the head and smiles.

"Good dog, Skippy." He gives him a treat.

They arrive on the Executive floor. Something new filled the air. Lots of changes were taking place. He could feel it.

Gladys was at her desk as usual. She would greet him with her cheery _'Everything will work out fine'_ smile. The office looked brighter than usual.

"Good morning, Sir. Welcome back!"

"Good morning, Gladys. Thank you. Good to see a friendly face in the morning."

"And you seem refreshed and at peace."

Anakin wanted to respond with: 'That's because I got the Hell out of the G'damned house while I still had my _'manhood' _attached.' But he didn't say it.

"Yes, Gladys, I am at peace."

"I had your office painted while you were away."

Anakin stops cold. He looks around then steps back. It was her area so it didn't seem like a big deal. So what if she wants cheery flowers and pretty white wallpaper in the reception area? He didn't have to work there, she did. He would do anything to keep her happy. She is the best Imperial Executive Secretary in the Galactic Empire. Everyone thinks so. Gladys hears something sniffing around her desk. She looks down near the wastebasket and smiles.

"And who might you be you cute little thing?"

Skippy rises on his hind legs and rests his from paws on her lap. She pats him on his head. Skippy begins wagging his tail rapidly and taps his hind foot.

"Oh, you must smell the platinum toner cartridge I threw away this morning."

Anakin smiles down at Skippy. "He's shameless. He'll pick through garbage in a second. He could stand to loose a few pounds. Everyone at the house spoils him."

Skippy dips his head in the wastebasket and begins crunching on the remains of the platinum cartridge. Anakin is still chatting with Gladys. Gladys chuckles.

"I would say you're using him as your practice baby."

"My child won't be searching waste bins for garbage. Skippy, enough! Get your fat head out of there. Gladys doesn't need you messing up her office. Let's go."

She hands him his morning paper and latest music chip for his 'Epod.'

"All of the furniture in your office has been cleaned. The sofa has been cleaned and _'Imperial guarded'_"

Anakin is half listening as he scans through his mail. Then he remembers what she said a few minutes earlier when he first entered the office. He unlocks the inner door to his office. The only word he can get out is:

"Why?" He is devastated.

He is thinking:

'_What 'eff' happened to his "brooding browns and Dark Lord black? Oh, Man!'_

He is thinking to himself:

'_These women are killing me!'_

Gladys follows him inside. She is beaming. She is so proud of herself.

"It's a new beginning. Your son has graduated, a new baby on the way…I thought it only right that your office reflect that. It signifies new life." She uses her firm, motherly, _'I know what's best for you because you're like a son to me,'_ tone. She returns to her desk.

Anakin is stunned. What was he going to say, _'I hate it' _to the woman who has seen him through so much pain and suffering over the years? Guilt trip! He knew he had better keep his mouth shut. He returns to the outer office. Gladys is already sitting back at her desk sorting papers. She is pleased to see he is happy. Anakin's smile is a mask for the tears he wants to cry.

"Oh, well thank you, Gladys. It…it looks just great. You really think of everything. You're amazing. Your husband Uli is lucky to have you." Heaven only knows what she does to take over her husband's life. But he still adores Gladys. He would do anything to make her happy. He keeps repeating this to himself to avoid blowing a gasket.

He leans over and gives her a peck on the cheek. She chuckles and waves her hand at him. She is blushing.

"Oh, Sir, go on! You are such a charmer…So, How is the pretty little mother to be?"

Now Anakin is suddenly beaming. He momentarily forgets about the abundance of light in the office and the white or ivory or whatever shade of off-white that was all over the walls of the two offices. He leans over her desk and begins to describe everything like a little boy in a toy store…oh…he had better not bring that up. He would only be setting himself up for a lecture from 'Reverend Mother Superior Gladys.' She would have been appalled by his behaviour in a public place.

"Oh, Gladys, she's absolutely beautiful. You should see her; she's changed since you last saw her at Luke's graduation. She's gotten so big! But, just in the belly. She's still hot." Anakin made sure he said this or else Gladys might think Isabel has turned into a fat blob. Anakin is a bit shallow. "She's adorable; and she's developed this cute little waddle and when she places her hands on her belly it makes you want to rub it for good luck…like one of those ancient idols. Oh, and the baby, he's moving so much now, he hiccups…It's the cutest thing."

Anakin also wanted to tell Gladys that _'He helps his mommy strangle me,'_ but that would have sounded petty and a bit paranoid. Anakin 'was _'Not' _paranoid. Neurotic? Yes. Paranoid? …By whose definition?

Gladys listens in her motherly way. She always shows interest in whatever Anakin has to say. She knows he has 'issues' but she is also the closest thing to a mother figure he has. He needed a reliable sounding board.

"Oh, sweetie, that's just delightful. And you're going to be such a good father."

That is all he needed to hear; especially since there were those retractors, those horrible critics who would argue this statement. It made him happy to hear this.

He walks back in his office and notices something else. It is a gift basket with a bottle of Corellian Champagne. Someone wanted to impress the Dark Lord today. Anakin looks for a note card. He finds it attached to a big blue ribbon. It was a cryptic message but he knew who it was from and what it meant.

'_Great news._

_Meeting going as planned. Met little resistance._

_Look is like all parties are in agreement'_

_Sincerely,_

_FV_

Apparently, this is news Anakin wanted to hear because a wide grin forms across his face. This was indeed encouraging news. He knew change was definitely in the wind.

He was actually glad to be back in his _'effing'_ bright office…all full of light and _'sith.'_ He thought he would need sunglasses. After sitting back in his good old, black Gundarkian leather executive desk chair the good feelings would all come back to him. He took one revolving spin in the chair just to get that feeling back. It felt great. He searched the top drawer for his sunglasses. Not there. He must have misplaced them.

Skippy has already taken an 'unguided' dog tour of Anakin's office. He looks out of the large floor to ceiling windows and barks at the traffic passing by. He sniffs around the Meditation Chamber then hops up on the sofa and gets comfortable. Anakin looks over at the dog.

"You don't waste any time, do you?"

The intercom lights up on his desk. "Who the Hoth wants me at this hour? I don't have any meetings scheduled." He sits for a second rolling his thumbs to see if Gladys would still be calling him. She was. He force-releases the button and tries to sound cheery. All of a sudden he had a sour feeling in the pit of his belly.

"Yes, Gladys?"

"Getting settled in, Sir?"

"Yes, Gladys, it's great to be back. What's up?" He knew full well what was 'Up' He had to see 'The Creature.'

"Well, The Emperor would like to meet with you. He's waiting in his office now."

There is a long pause. Gladys is waiting. Anakin really does not wish to deal with this man on his first day back from his 'mini' holiday at home. 'Crap!'

"What shall I say to him, sir? He wants to know when you will be in to see him."

Anakin feels like screaming but he doesn't. He pauses then speaks in an even but firm tone. "Fine. Tell the old dinosaur I said five minutes. Uhm…Tell him to wait….five minutes. You know what I mean."

Gladys knows only too well what Anakin wanted to say. She is a pro at _'editing'_ Anakin's answers when relaying them to Palpatine. "I understand, Sir." She smiles over the com. The words _'old dinosaur'_ and _'wizened old rat bastard' _were not included in the response she relayed to the emperor.

"Thank you, Gladys."

Gladys hangs up then speaks to the Emperor. "Excellency? Lord Vader will be in your office very shortly…Yes, he's looking forward to seeing you. Okay…goodbye…what was that, Sir? No, I'm sorry, Excellency but I would have to decline your offer once more. I'm very happy where I am now…Yes…thank you, you're very sweet. Goodbye.

Anakin calls Gladys on the intercom again.

"Gladys?"

"Yes, Sir?"

"I'm going to freshen up first, and then I'll be out to visit that 'bantha turd.'"

"Yes, sir."

Anakin was in no mood for anymore surprises. His focus was waning since the call from Palpatine's office. He needed a momentary 'escape.' He gets up from behind the desk of his brightly painted and wallpapered office. At least the refresher would be the same.

Suddenly Gladys remembers something she meant to tell him when he first walked through the door. Anakin has already opened the door to the refresher and turns on the light.

'

"Oh, Sir, I meant to tell you…"

Like Leia, Anakin is prone to emotional outbursts. He has a _'mini'_ version of her meltdown. Only two birds fall from the sky…they survive.

"What the _'eff'_ happened to 'my world of solitude?' Aaaahh!"

He takes one look at his, 'once beautiful' private executive refresher. It almost brings tears to his eyes…actually one tear. In Anakin's mind it looks 'Like an effing ladies powder room…a baby changing table attached to his once beautiful black granite walls are…(gulps and chokes back tears) they are Tammuz-an white marble! And not just plain white. It's white with pink and pale grey streaks … (gasps) His eyes dart around as he starts to notice 'minor' things, one after another:

…a child-safe flower in a childproof, unbreakable holder…covers on the outlets. A hot water faucet lock, a toilet lock. Toilet lock?! Latches on the cabinets. Why pink in the marble? How humiliating…his son can't be part of this! Any why is it so 'effing' bright in here?

Thoughts: _'Gladys, you're fired!'_

Actual: "Gladys…words cannot describe the emotions welling up in me right now… I'm speechless…I'm heading out to see that rat bastard…see you later."

Gladys watches him leave.

"Okay, Dear."

"Come on, Skip." The little canine droid scampers through the door and follows Anakin down the hall.

Walking towards them is Elan Sleazebaggano. Anakin glances at him for a second. He thinks he remembers seeing him before but can't think where. As the man passes, Anakin turns his head to look. He gives up thinking about it but he knows it wasn't a good thing. Something bothered him about this man.

He sees the Imperial Guards standing outside the Emperor's office. Skippy and Anakin stare them down. The guards begin sweating under their red hoods. Skippy sniffs at their feet. The guards quietly look at one another. One of the guards is about to take his red-booted foot and kick the dog. Anakin nods his head as if to say, _'Do it and die.'_ Who would kick a little defenseless animal anyway? The door opens Anakin puts on a cheery smile and Skippy puts on his little 'happy puppy' face. Anakin is enjoying the psychological torture. Skippy trots in behind Anakin as they approach the Emperor's seating area.

Palpatine looks up from his desk and sees them. He stands and looks at Skippy.

"What's this?"

"It's called a dog. He's man's best friend. Kids love them. Most kids have some sort of pet. Didn't you?"

"No. So it was you who left the lobby in disarray? Don't you have a leash for that thing?"

"No. Skippy here is well-trained. I would never put a leash on him. It would be cruel. So, I'm obviously here for reasons other than my dog. Why do you need to speak to me?"

"Yes, Anakin….I have been alerted that the Galactic Senate is going to vote on the new referendum returning more power to the local governments."

"And you want me to investigate these allegations?"

"I already know it's true; I just don't know how they are gaining votes. Where is this support coming from?"

"Well, the people are allowed to select a representative to make their voices heard."

"But some of the proposals being presented override my hold on the Senate."

"Don't you think our time will be better spent on looking for a peaceful solution instead of this never-ending battle with the local governments? This heavy-handedness can only be tolerated for so long before people become fed up and turn against the Empire. I believe it's time we start making concessions."

"Anakin, your sentiments are well-meaning but you are still short-sighted. You are thinking the way you did when you were young and naive."

"Are you saying I was naive when I joined you?"

"I am saying that you forget that what was done to you all those years ago was because you didn't have the power to save the ones you love. Now you have that power."

"I don't have the right to control the lives of innocent people. I don't need that kind of power."

"You almost lost your children forever because you had no power to fight for them. I gave you that power."

"And I thank you for that but I was able to do the rest on my own. I did the proper thing and worked with the judicial system."

"Politicians forget very easily when they are not up for election, Anakin."

"I don't see it that way."

The Emperor sees he is losing ground. He tries another tactic. His once loyal apprentice is becoming more independent of him. He didn't like this one bit.

"It seems you are drifting from our original agenda. Mind telling me why? You don't spend as much time in the office as you used to in the past several months."

"Well, much has changed. My son's graduation and my wife is about to have a baby. I have much going on in my family."

"Yes, I'm sure you have. But, Anakin, son, don't neglect the work we have to do. I need you by my side…" The emperor is suddenly distracted by Skippy 'exploring' the office. He looks across the room and sees the droid dog sniffing around one of the gold pillars. "What's he doing?"

"Nothing. Just chilling." Anakin is dismissive about the situation but the Emperor is concerned.

"Why is his leg up?"

Anakin is not in the least concerned. He is like a permissive parent.

"Uhm…Skip…no…_ 'Sit' _over there." He looks across the desk at the Emperor. "Well, nice chatting with you. Got to go." He quickly gets up and leaves.

Skippy apparently _'misunderstood'_ his master because, after they leave the office, Palpatine finds a mound of molten metal 'deposited' under the very pillar the droid dog had been sniffing. The Emperor calls in his 'clean-up crew.'

"Elan!"

Elan did not respond immediately as he was being circled by a protective droid dog in the hallway outside of the Emperor office.

"Hey, man, call your mutt off me."

"He only attacks when he senses danger to his master. And, he's not a mutt. Come here, Skippy." They leave Elan in the hall. Elan slides against the wall. A puddle forms on the carpet around his feet. The two Imperial Guards look down.

Elan has already suffered the embarrassment of wetting the carpet now he had an audience he didn't need. One of the Emperors' Sith interns, Darth Craul happens to be in the hall delivering some papers to Palpatine. He makes that evil half-crooked grin of his.

"What the…Man, you're gonna clean that up." He laughs and walks away. As he continues down the hall, he gets on his mobile. Hey, dude…guess what? Jar-Jar's stand-in just wet himself…you've got to see it. It's evident he's a real wuss because he lost it like a little girl. It looks like a melted Hoth ice flow up here...I kid you not! Come up here and see for yourself! Hahaha! It's so cool, man!"

Afterwards, Elan suffers the humiliation of hand-scrubbing the Imperial hallway carpet in front of an audience of young Sith Apprentices. In addition, he is made to perform pooper-scooper 'duty' in the Emperor's office cleaning up Skippy's 'burnt offerings.'

Back at _'Jedi Beach,'_ Leia and Han decides to go out to lunch. Han thought it was just as well, Leia wasn't going in the kitchen to cook and he wasn't in the mood for stomach upset from her lack of culinary skills. He asked Luke if he could recommend a good diner or bistro. A smile forms across Luke's face.

Han and Leia are lead to a table with a view of the beach. Their waiter arrives to greet them almost immediately.

"Good afternoon. My name is Jonni Faytonni and I'll be your waiter today. Could I get you something to drink, Sir? And how about your daughter, what would she like?"

Han is immediately incensed. Did he really look old enough to be Leia's father? The nerve of that waiter! Assuming Leia was his daughter, what business was it of his? But all Han was able to say was:

"I'll have Corellian ale."

"Light or dark?"

"Light."

"And what will your daughter have?"

Leia smiles. She thinks it is amusing."

"I'll have an iced Bimmisari red tea, no sugar."

"One Bim Red…Would you like to hear about our specials?" He turns to Han. Now Leia is insulted Han knew as much about great food as he did about the Force. Zip! This time she speaks up. She interrupts Han as he tries to answer.

"Yes…."

"Yes, you may tell _'Us'_ about the specials."

The waiter gives her a blank stare. His gaze shifts to Han. Han shrugs and manages a stupid smile. The waiter lets out a heavy sigh then continues.

"Well, today we have grilled Thikkiiana unagi on a bed of Dagobah rice, Roasted chicken with Felucia baby carrots and scalloped Tatooine potatoes. Baby Rack of Shaak with Red Leaf sauce and mixed summer vegetables, Filet of Rodia Sole with white wine and lemon Felucia green sauce…."

Han interrupts and asks a question.

"What's the unagi dish again? I t sounds interesting."

"It's a type of seafood…"

"Oh, fish."

"Yes, I suppose it is since it's from the sea." Ha still doesn't get what it is so the waiter continues. "It's eel… Anguilla...serpent…sea snake."

He waits for a response from Han. Han's eyes bulge then he make a sour face.

"Uhm…No. You have something that lived on land and has legs or wings…anything that didn't crawl or slither on its belly. Could you repeat the other specials…please?"

"That would be the Baby Rack of Shaak and the Roasted Chicken…and the fish but it has no legs are fins okay?…or you may select whatever is on the regular menu."

"The Rack of shaak is fine."

"Very good, sir. And what about the young lady?"

Leia lets the waiter know that she can speak for herself.

"I'll have the Rodia Sole, please." She hands him her menu without looking at him.

"Thank you."

He walks away. Leia giggles and looks across the table at Han.

"Han, he thinks I'm your daughter! Ha-ha!"

"It's not funny." He examines the salt and pepper shakers.

"Oh, Han, you should have seen the expression on your face! It was priceless. Hey, Han?"

"What?"

"Kiss me!" Leia gives Han a knowing look but he is not in the mood to play along. She decides to take the initiative and grabs Han by the shirt collar and kisses him. She almost pulls him across the table and knocks over the salt and pepper shakers. He tries to push her away. The waiter does not disappoint. He turns in their direction as he submits their food order and waits for their beverages. He whispers to the hostess.

"Keep an eye on those two…She could be a victim of some kiddie kidnapping ring. Look at him…He's a Stromgali."

He returns with their drinks.

"Here are your drinks………Excuse me, little lady, may I see your i.d. please?"

"Why? I'm not ordering alcohol."

"I know, Miss…it's just procedure."

Leia hands him her Intergalactic I.D. He takes it to the hostess station.

It is about noon in Coruscant Anakin is 're-organizing' his office 'files.' Gladys is outside sitting at her desk. She is on a call.

"Good afternoon, Lord Vader's office…Oh?...Yes…Skywalker? Yes…Who shall I say is calling? One moment, please…" She buzzes her boss. Anakin is sorting through his music data cards on the credenza behind his desk. He hears Gladys on the com.

"Yes, Gladys?"

"There's a call for you from Kashyyyk...something about your daughter."

What? Is it important?"

"Now Anakin…"

Anakin heard her motherly tone hinting that he should be taking this seriously. He picks up the handset after pouting for a second. He wanted to have some quality time with his thoughts and _'meditate.'_

"Yes, Gladys? Who? Why? (sigh) Ok, fine. Put it through…."Hello? …Yes? Yes……yes…She's my daughter…yes…With whom?" He rolls his eyes as he slips a new music chip into his Epod. "Yes…On Kashyyyk, eh? Hmmm…" Suddenly a wide mischievous grin forms across his face. He had to think about what 'action' to take, if at all. This was just too easy. He could have caused his daughter and Han more torment and embarrassment but he decides to let it go. He has plenty of time to humiliate them in public. "Listen…it's fine…yes. I know who he is. What's he making her do? Is that so?" He is about to open another drawer then stops. Something the 'caller' says peaks his interest. "You're joking me. Yes, I'll give her a good talking too when she comes home…No problem… Of course…as a concerned citizen, I might do the same thing…No problem…I appreciate your call. Thank you…ok…ok…ok… yes…Bye!" Anakin hangs up abruptly. The temptation to pull a prank on Leia and her cradle-robbing boyfriend had passed. He didn't want the newly-empowered _'Force-choking Mama'_ at home to kick his ass, and she would. Besides, he had more pressing matters to concern himself with right now…like where the hell were his sunglasses and his…No…no…no. Please Darth Plagueis, say it's not so! He opens side drawer of his desk. His bottom lip quivers. He almost has a fainting spell. He angrily slams the drawer so hard it makes the office shake. His heart is pounding wildly.

_Holy Darth Plagueis, Batman! The Sith has been robbed!_

Anakin pushes himself away from his desk. He decides to take a walk, but before leaving the office he has some questions to ask Gladys. He has a very bad feeling about this. He wanted to make sure his feelings were right. He sensed something. The more he sensed it , the madder he got.

"Gladys?"

"Yes, Sir?"

"When you had my office wrec…redecorated, who was here doing the work?"

"Just Imperial Security to oversee the work and the painters, wallpaper men and the tile craftsman. Oh, I remember the housekeeping crew was here to lay the tarp and clean up."

_Right. _Clean up and clean him out! Gladys is recalling the events during week of the office redecoration.

"I know the Assistant told me one of the regular men was out sick so they borrowed someone from the Emperor's staff…"

Suddenly Anakin returns to his office. He searches all of his desk drawers. He opens his _'Special Needs'_ drawer again. He thinks he is going to faint. Anakin feels as if someone had sucker-punched him. He had no first-hand experience but he could only imagine how it must feel. The drawer was totally empty. Not one leaf…not one stick.

Gladys looks up and Anakin flies pass her out the door. Skippy jumps off the sofa where he was in droid dog nap mode. He quickly follows his master. He had remembered something. It was a long time go but he remembers well during the Clone wars. He storms pass the Emperor's office. Palpatine senses him near and calls to him.

"Anakin, we never completed our discussion earlier today. I need to speak to you!"

Anakin ignores him. Finally Anakin slows down. He is listening carefully.

Sitting at Jar-Jar's desk with his feet on the computer keyboard is Elan Sleazebaggano aka 'Bug'

He is speaking to someone on the telephone. He looks around then continues to speak after accessing that no one is around. He is barely whispering in that smarmy rat-like voice of his.

"Yeah, man…you wouldn't believe it. I hit the mother load. The stuff is Grade A Felucia…Well, what you got is garbage. This stuff is worth at least 500 credits. You wouldn't believe how I got it…It was in this office I was cleaning. The staff needed an extra guy. I thought it was going to be just another boring task but, man, it was like Befana Eve! I cleaned up! I got a pair of Mongio Calamari Sunglasses. Authentic; not the knock-offs, A Mont Hoth Stylus, It's engraved but I might still sell it and get a lot of credits for it. I would have gotten a bunch of other stuff but the other drawers were locked and that secretary kept walking in to check on us. She looks like someone's mom. I was going to ask her if she baked any cookies. Ha!…uhm…I gotta go someone is here…Aaaahh!"

Élan finds himself lifted mid-air. His skinny legs flailing like a bug being exterminated. Anakin is not letting go. Skippy is leaping in the air and manages to nip at Élan's feet.

"I want you to hand over all your ill-gotten goods immediately. I remember you now, you little gnat..."

"What? I don't have anything!"

"You are lying! What have you done with that package? You will release everything you stole in this building now."

"Aaaakk! Aaaakk!

Élan's face turns blue. His left antenna is broken. There is a bruise around this area of his forehead. Suddenly he points weakly to a container under the desk. Anakin grabs his belongings with his free hand and tucks it and the other items in his pocket. He calls the guards.

"Guards!" He nods his head in the direction of the carton on the floor. "Take these items to security and find out who they belong to."

"Is he the thief?"

"Yes, but let me have a moment with him first. Leave us."

"Shall we send the police up?"

"No…I will handle this myself. You may go."

The guards gather the goods and leave. Anakin grins once he is alone with Elan. Elan is still twitching.

Anakin's left hand is free again. He waves his hand in Élan's face. You are a pathetic little loser with no redeeming qualities."

"I am a pathetic little loser with no redeeming qualities."

"I should kill you but I believe working for the Emperor is punishment enough…."

Elan looks at Anakin then repeats after him.

"I should kill you but I believe working for the Emperor is punishment enough…."

Anakin realizes his hand is still waving in Élan's face. He slaps him.

"Oops…didn't mean to do that." He puts his hand down. "But let me leave you with one piece of advice. If I ever see you near my office or if you say anything disrespectful to my secretary or look at her the wrong way, I will find you and inflict a punishment that will affect you for the rest of your pathetic loser bug life. You like stealing walkers and oxygen tanks from old ladies? Answer me, you twit!"

"No. Aaaakk."

"Wrong answer! Try again!"

"Yes?"

Anakin head-butts him. Elan is trying to wriggle free from Anakin's grip without success.

"That's the honest answer but it's not a nice answer. If I see you in the hall you had better turn the other way because I'll come after you. Do you understand?"

"Yeeessss…aaaakk."

Anakin finally releases him. Elan falls to the floor.

"Oww…"

"Shut up! I didn't give you permission to speak!"

Anakin walks away. He returns to his office whistling. Gladys looks up at him.

"Is everything alright, Sir?"

"Yes, Gladys. I collected everything. All is well."

Gladys follows him into his office. He places the stylus in his center drawer with his data pad. The stylus was fine scribing instrument. But it was more than that. It had sentimental value. Isabel and the twins had given it to him for Father's Day when Luke and Leia were seven years old. They had no idea; years later they would soon despise the instrument because he deducted 1700 credits from Luke's savings to pay for that little situation with the pizza prank. He deducted for flowers from Leia's account when she made that threatening remark to Gladys. Damn that data pad! And damn that stylus! The twins had created a monster when they gave their father this gift. Anakin smiles as the fond memories come back. It was beautiful.

'_The Flushing O' the Stash'_

'_One Was Blinded by the Light, but Now I See'_

He was about to put on his sunglasses when Gladys notices the small pouch tucked in Anakin's pocket.

"Anakin, what are you going to do with that?"

"She rarely called him by his first name… this can't be good. Twice in one day too! All he wanted to do was to sit in his office, listen to his Epod and 'mellow out' with his _'prescription medication.' _It's been months since he was able to have this_ 'quality time.' _When Gladys calls him; his beautiful thoughts stopped abruptly like a needle scratching a record. He saw one of these devices in the Jedi Archives 'Wild Space Exhibition' about that primitive planet Earth. Fascinating, intoxicating. He took the kids three times to see it.

He closes his eyes and says a prayer. "Oh please, Darth Plagueis, let this pass. Please …" He listens for a moment. She is still there. What a sweet and wonderful woman she was. He stamps his foot but he turns to look at her. He is obedient and answers politely. "Yes, Gladys?" He scratches his eyebrow as he turns to face her. He felt like a 9 year old boy.

"That package, you have. I told the young man who was helping with the clean up to throw that away."

"What? Oh…I'll take care of it." He tries to hide it.

"I know you, dear. You'll get busy and forget all about it. Then it will be lying around somewhere."

"No, I won't…I would never forget something like this."

"Sweetie, It's a bunch of old stale tea leaves."

Tea? He wanted to laugh but this was a serious matter. He plays along.

"I don't mind old tea…"

"Oh, sweetie, I can get you some fresh tea. If only I had known you loved tea so much I would have bought a ton of it. The Mr. Jensen and I took a lovely tour of the Bimmisari Tea Gardens. We even took part in an authentic Tea Ceremony. You would have loved it. You should take Isabel on a little trip after the baby is born. So, this stuff needs to go…it's so old. Come on, Dear, we'll have our own little farewell ceremony."

Gladys leads Anakin to the refresher. He wasn't quite sure why he was following her. He had become disoriented. As they reach the refresher door he realizes what is happening. It was like walking the _'Green Mile'_…only it was paved green with tiny orange leaves. Had it really come down to this? This _'Felucia Mile'_…It was so sad! How did it come to this? How could this quiet unassuming senior citizen have so much power over him? Anakin tries to take control again. He turns to look at her.

"You know, this stuff is still good…I can 'enjoy' it alone."

"Anakin dear, believe me, it will slip your mind that you have it, then what? Suppose the baby gets into it and ingests it. You would feel just horrible wouldn't you?" She gently nudges him into the refresher.

Anakin looks at the floor. He sounds contrite but he is actually fighting back tears. The baby? What's the baby got to do with this? He's not even here yet. Geez. He lets out a heavy sigh then answers her.

"Yes. I would feel awful."

"Oh Dear, you'll be glad it's gone. It can't be any good."

Anakin is thinking, _'Lady, you have no idea. It's not like death sticks or anything horrible like that that the locals sell in clubs. These won't kill you.' _

He looks at Gladys.

"What?"

"Go on, empty it."

She points to the 'abyss.' The swirling water beckons. Anakin hears 'Imperial Taps' playing in his head. "There…open it up…dump it all in…that's it…there you go…now press the lever…good boy! See? That was easy! Now you can go relax. I'll have some fresh tea brought in to you. Ok?"

Anakin nods obediently. Gladys leaves him after patting him gently on the face. This is the first time anyone has accompanied him to the refresher since he was a little boy. Alone now, or so he thought, lost in his heartache, he drops to his knees and looks down into the toilet. Skippy sits on the floor next to Anakin. He licks his masters' face.

"Come back…come back."

He is about to place his head inside when he hears a voice. The voice sounds peaceful and happy.

"You okay, Ani?"

"What are you laughing for, Master?"

It's his old Master Qui-Gon. The ghost is amused. He is sitting on the changing table grinning. He has been in the refresher the entire time listening to Gladys give Anakin her 'Tea lecture.' He is laughing hysterically.

"Now that's a sign of a desperate man. You don't want to do that."

Anakin looks up at him from the swirling water.

"Did you see what she made me do? Who does that? She has no idea what she's done."

"Yeah, right. That Gladys is a sly fox. You shouldn't underestimate her, Anakin. She knows more than you realize."

"My 'day' is ruined. That was over 700 credits worth of prime Felucia Gold."

"Don't you feel better knowing your child will be safe? At least the 'Bug boy' didn't get a chance to make a profit off of it."

Anakin looks at Qui-Gon. This was no consolation for the Dark Lord. He wanted to justify keeping his 'tea' but he knows deep down his master is right. Anakin would have been devastated if anything bad were to happen to the new baby. He was going to have to take a long look at himself. He finally addresses his former Master.

"Get off of the changing table. It's for my son."

"Oh, sorry. Nice walls."

"Don't get me started."

He and the ghost go out to his office and have a quiet chat. Qui-Gon notices and admires Anakin's latest toy.

"Cool place for a Margarita machine."

"It is cool, isn't it?"

The machine is on a counter in the corner near the round conference table. It's Anakin's makeshift wet bar. It rests between a bust of Darth Plagueis and a framed print of droid dogs playing cards. Anakin always got a hoot out of that. It was a birthday gag gift from Luke. He knew his father liked to play sabacc in the office. Anakin didn't have any secrets lately. What the Hoth is up with that? Qui-Gon lifts the lid to the machine and looks inside.

"Is it fully operational?"

"I'm afraid so. Way cool, right? I owe this all to Isabel. If it weren't for her marrying me, I'd never rake in neat gifts like this."

"Ani, she never put this on the registry, you did."

"Oh well, a groom deserves a nice gift on his wedding day."

"You know, it could make great ice cream too."

Anakin looks at his old master. And, yes, it did work with ice cream. A couple of years down the road Anakin would have it sterilized and filled with ice cream mix for his little 'Younglings' to enjoy. It would come in handy for 'Bring Your Little Sith to Work Day.' He had a feeling the new baby would appreciate the special day more than Luke and Leia did. He was not supposed to bring the twins to the office as part of the custody agreement. He did manage to slip in with them a few times. The judge never found out.

Isabel decides she can't stay home one more day. Bed rest? What bed rest? She spent more time tending to Anakin's whining and moaning everyday. She needed to get out of the house. What could happen? She decides to throw caution to the wind. She puts on her prettiest summer dress and shoes, calls the air taxi service and makes her escape.

In just a few minutes, she is at the door of her mentor and former boss. Lara is happy to see her. They go out onto the patio and relax by the pool chatting about old times and, of course, the baby.

Isabel tells Lara about her 'new ability.' Lara responds with amused disbelief.

"Hahahaha! Oh, Isabel, that is hilarious. I take it Anakin isn't too pleased."

"No. That's why he left for the office this morning. He said he had some important meetings but I think he just couldn't take it anymore."

"Well, at least you can whip his ass now. Listen, do you think you could force-choke my gardener?"

"What?"

"Actually, I have a laundry list of people who are pissing me off right now. If you could…"

"Lara, I'm shocked."

"Why? Because I want you to choke my mother-in-law?"

"I couldn't be part of that."

"Well then, how about my hairdresser?"

"Now you have a gripe with your hairdresser? I thought you said he was the best."

"He is but he's leaving to start a business with his friend on Naboo. They nabbed a big styling contract with Theed Palace to do the Queen's hair. He said he needed to let his creativity flow free."

"Well then that does it. By all means, he must be made to suffer."

They giggle like young schoolgirls. Lara calms down and gets serious.

"So, tell me; what's going on with you lately? I know the twins are away for the summer, your husband is back at work…"

"Lara, I am bored out of my mind. I have nothing to do. Anakin has put the housekeeping staff on round the clock so he can spend more time away from home. He's been a little moody lately."

"Oh please! Isabel, don't you dare start feeling sorry for him. He's just upset because he's not the center of your universe anymore. Isabel, isn't having a baby and being married to Anakin redundant?"

"Ha-ha. Very funny. Are you making fun of my husband?"

Just about this time, Anakin calls her at home. There is no answer. He force-calls her. She does not answer. Isabel is laughing. Lara is waiting for her to share what she knows.

"Are you just going to lounge by my pool and not tell me why you have that silly smirk on your face?"

"I can hear my husband calling me."

"Isabel, shame on you. Is that any way to treat your husband?"

"Let him stew for a few minutes. If it's not really important he'll stop."

"Isabel, this is Anakin Skywalker we're talking about. Not some docile lap dog."

Just as she says this someone walks onto the patio to greet them.

"Hey, beautiful, long time no see!"

A handsome and youthful looking middle-aged man with light brown hair graying at the temples leans over to kiss Isabel.

"Oh. Hi, Blaise."

"I heard that lap dog remark. Look at you, all…" He is at a lost for the 'proper' words. Isabel helps him along.

"All big like a Wampa? Go on say it. I've been getting comments for the past month."

"Well...no…"

Lara interrupts.

"Keep digging that hole, Blaise."

"It's just that I'm so used to seeing that beautiful figure of yours."

"So you're either hitting on my former employee or you're insulting her."

"Isabel, good to see you. You look beautiful. I'm going to go now because I can't win with you and my wife watching me tank so horribly. I've got some things to do around the house anyway…"

He kisses Isabel then backs away and disappears inside the house. Isabel can tell he is embarrassed. Lara laughs.

"On behalf of my awkward husband, I apologize."

"Oh, he was sweet. What, no patients today for the good doctor?"

"He's got some vacation days he hasn't taken. He's such a wonderful doctor but he never takes time off. So instead of going away, he decides to stay home and work on a few pet projects. He thinks he's a carpenter."

"Is he good?"

"No. But he's got all the professional tools so he thinks he's good."

Back at the office. Anakin is feeling anxious. Isabel has not answered. He is 'listening' to Qui-Gon talk about how Mace 'stole' his woman Aayla. Anakin's attention is drifting. Suddenly the red light flashes on the Com indicating a call from Gladys. He hesitates for a moment then presses the release button.

"Yes, Gladys." He was still a bit upset with her but that was fading.

"Sir, your wife just called. She asked me to tell you she's at the hospital…"

Anakin freezes. Suddenly he drops the handset and storms out. Qui-Gon is in mid-sentence when he looks up.

"So I tell her it's either me or him and then…Hey! I'm still laying out my heart here! I got relationship problems! Ani! Some people are so self-absorbed."

Anakin is already out the door when Gladys calls out to him but he doesn't stop.

"Sir, I was going to tell you…"

Gone. Anakin hops in his speeder and heads out of the Imperial Headquarters Executive Parking bay. He speeds and weaves through the afternoon traffic. He does not even acknowledge Qui-Gon sitting in the back seat with his feet up on the headrest of the front passenger seat.

"Ani, maybe you should slow down or calm down. Remember the last time you drove like this. Well, I was driving, you were drinking that night. It was actually cool being the designated driver…Listen, Anakin, it could be nothing."

Qui-Gon stops talking. He sees Anakin is worried. Eighteen years ago he did a lot of things he now regrets. He did not want to repeat those horrible events. He has another chance to make things right this time.

The emergency room is not so busy today but there are several patients waiting. An Utapaun with itchy dermatitis, two bruised Corellian smugglers who had gotten in to a bar fight with a Sith gang. There was someone else at the discharge desk arguing with the clerk.

"Come on, man, I need my meds. I was injured today. I might have to file for workmen's compensation!"

"Mr. Sleazebaggano, you did not suffer any injuries requiring medication."

"What about my antenna? It's broken. I have migraines."

"It will heal. You can go now. You're discharged. The doctor says you're fine to go back to work."

"But it's a hostile work environment."

"You said that last month when you were at the monastery."

"The monks didn't talk to me. Ain't that hostile?"

"They had taken a vow of silence. Please leave. We have nothing more to do for you."

"Can I have this pen?"

"No! Get out before I call the guards."

"I'm not leaving till I get satisfaction!" He bangs his fist on the counter. As he turns, Anakin storms through the door. Elan nervously covers his face. "Oh, no! He's come after me."

"Everybody is after you. That's a job for the Psych Ward."

"But it's true. I'm being followed, man…ma'm. I'm being stalked."

The discharge clerk folds her arms. "So, Mr. Sleazebaggano, shall we escort you out like we did last time? Hello?? Hey!" She slaps her hand down on the counter causing the jittery little twit to jump.

He whispers nervously

"Not so loud. Okay, okay. I'll sign out, geez."

He grabs his discharge papers and shuffles out of the emergency room. He escapes the clutches of the Dark Lord but Anakin was not in the least concerned about him.

Anakin looks around. A quick scan of the immediate area yields nothing. He ignores the nurse's station and continues walking.

"Excuse me, sir. May I help you?"

"I'm trying to find my wife… I…"

He is about to show anger then quickly remembers the incident at the baby registry. He catches himself and immediately calms down.

"I'm looking for my wife."

"What is she here for?"

"Anakin tries to maintain his calm but he stares at thee woman as if she is an idiot."

"She's pregnant. I don't understand how no one would have seen her."

"Well, she would have been taken up to…"

"Anakin?"

Anakin turns to see Isabel in the next patient examining station. He brushes pass the nurse to get to his wife. Isabel is in a wheelchair. He touches her face.

"I got here as soon as I heard. Are you alright? What are they doing for you? Why are you still down here? You're not due yet. What's going on?" His voice is full of worry and concern as he rattles off questions. What's being done for you, Bel?" He looks back at the nurse almost giving the woman the evil eye.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"I'm fine. Really." She looks to her right. Someone is heading in their direction. It is Lara and her husband. Blaise is on crutches. Isabel smiles up at him.

"Hi! Ready to roll? I'm holding your chair for you."

Blaise laughs.

"Thanks. God, I feel stupid."

The nurse smiles.

"Doctors get injured too."

"My wife says I shouldn't do home repairs."

Lara smirks at him. "What repairs? You were inserting a light bulb."

Blaise shrugs and smiles. He is a bit embarrassed. He sees Anakin.

"Anakin, what a surprise. You here to check up on me?"

"No."

This is an awkward moment. Anakin he basically ignores Blaise and turns to Isabel.

"So, you're alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine." She grabs onto his sleeve and pulls herself out of the wheelchair. "Blaise, it's all yours."

"Thanks, Sweetheart. You were getting comfortable in there. Sure you don't want to sit a little longer?"

"No, I need to skedaddle. Lara, thanks for lunch and the entertainment. We have to get together again soon." They exchange hugs and kisses.

"Any time." Lara looks over at Anakin. "Anakin, It's good to see you. You look great."

"Oh, uhm…thanks, Lara."

"Bye."

Anakin's attention is on Isabel. He barely takes notice of Lara saying good-bye to him. His response is barely audible.

"Bye."

Isabel smiles up at her husband.

"Anakin, can I bum a ride with you?"

"Of course. But, Isabel, you scared me. I thought…"

"Oh, Anakin, I'm fine, really. Why are you looking at me that way?"

He looks in her eyes. He is filled with emotions of concern, fear, anger and relief.

"So you're sure you're ok? The baby's ok?"

"We're fine. Lara didn't want to leave me alone while they were here. I wanted to tag along. They're my friends. I called the office and told Gladys what had happened and where I was. Let's get out of here. There's some creepy guy who was stealing hospital supplies earlier. The guards tied him to a chair. It was so bizarre."

"Isabel, I tried to call you earlier. Why didn't you answer me?"

"Sorry."

"Are you ready?"

"Yes."

They start to leave the E.R. Qui-Gon is in an empty examining station trying on a stethoscope that has been misplaced by one of the interns. He places the cap to his chest and listens. He waits a few moments, moves it around a bit and listens again. Finally, the Force-ghost shrugs then tosses it into the wastebasket.

"What a piece of crap."

He follows Anakin and Isabel out of the Emergency Room. Isabel turns and sees him as they go to the speeder. She is used to him now.

"Hello."

Qui-Gon respectfully nods his head and smiles.

"Hello."

Anakin holds the door open. Qui-Gon shows that he is a true gentleman. He gestures for her to get into the speeder.

"Milady, after you."

"No, after you."

Anakin is already out of sorts today. Now he is getting annoyed.

"Somebody get in the g'damned car!"

"Someone is in a bad mood."

Isabel whispers aside to Qui-Gon.

"What's with him?"

"Didn't have his _'tea'_ today."

"Tea? When does he drink tea?"

"He doesn't"

Back on Kashyyyk.

Han and Leia have returned from the restaurant. They actually have an enjoyable lunch. It is a beautiful day and they decide to spend the rest of the afternoon on the beach. After a brief trip to the beach house to change, Leia leads Han to the beach. She is wearing a bronze pareo and windbreaker.

Han is behind her lugging the beach towels and a beach bag. Leia chooses a spot providing cabana services. Han didn't bring any money with him. He left it at the beach house.

"Leia, why didn't you tell me we needed money? I left my wallet back at the house."

"I prepaid. We have cabana cards. Don't worry about it."

"Do we really need someone to serve us drinks?"

"They don't card here."

"Why not?"

"They get better tips."

"So it's a payoff. Isn't that against the law?"

"So is smuggling."

"I don't do that anymore, sweetheart. Not that often anyway."

"Right. Grab a beach chair, _'Reverend Solo.'_"

"You're right…this is kinda nice…no one running by to catch a volleyball and knocking sand all over you. Sweet."

Just as Han is about to lay back and get comfortable, Leia starts to remove her yellow windbreaker and pareo. He takes one look lifting his sunglasses."

"You know you're asking for trouble wearing that don't you?"

"You weren't complaining when I bought it."

"You weren't wearing it in front of hundreds of lascivious degenerates hanging out on the beach."

Leia rolls her eyes.

"What's the point if I can't wear it on the beach?"

"You sure had your grandfather fooled."

"He wouldn't understand. He's a bit old fashioned that way. And what's with you all of a sudden?"

"There's more 'Leia' showing than need be."

"Oh, you're my father now…Going to have a seizure now, _'Dad?'_"

"I told you to stop calling me that."

She teases him now and enjoying every moment. She leans over and tickles his chin. Meanwhile guys are checking her from 'behind.'

"Come on, _'Popi.'_ Take a good look."

She turns ad starts to pose for him. He puts his sunglasses on and grabs a magazine. She giggles."

"Han, you're becoming a prude! What's with you today?"

"Don't talk to me."

"Suit yourself, sugar daddy."

She starts applying suntan lotion on her body. Her long ponytail reaches the small of her back meeting whatever metal link there is between the tiny pieces of fabric.

A cabana boy delivering drinks to some customers trips over a beach chair where a large woman is sunbathing. Both the woman and the boy scream. During the 'collision' the woman falls over and is crushing the slender cabana boy. All anyone can see are big arms and legs flailing and tiny arms flinching. It's like 'Shamu meets the squid.' Meanwhile, a swimmer suffering from a leg cramp is struggling in the water as the closest lifeguard is gazing hypnotically at Leia's_ 'assets.' _Every guy within eyeshot is focused on Leia and her bronze bikini. Han looks up. He begins laughing. An old man is trying to lift the woman off the cabana boy. Han gets up from his chair to offer assistance. After he manages to save the cabana boy from almost definite suffocation, Han himself requires assistance as the woman throws her arms around him. He can't seem to break free of her.

"Somebody! I need help over here!"

Kyle and Kip hurry over and release Han from the woman's grip. At the same time, Luke and Valin rush back into the water to save the swimmer with the leg cramp.

While all this is going on, Leia calmly walks to the waters' edge and lets the waves rush up to wet her feet. Han manages to return to his beach chair to catch some much needed rest while chaos ensues around him. He was not going to avail himself to help anyone else for the rest of the afternoon. The weather is great and the cabana service…excellent. Han figured he could get used to this lifestyle. The remaining cabana boys were on double duty since one of their brethren was temporarily injured. The poor injured cabana boy took one for the team. Han places his beach cap over his eyes and sips his drink as Leia returns to her beach chair. She looks like a goddess. It was a great day being with the daughter of the Sith.

Back on Coruscant that evening; Anakin cannot sleep. He watches Isabel sleeping. He gets out of bed and goes downstairs to the kitchen. Qui-Gon appears.

"Trouble sleeping again, Ani?"

"I was afraid for her, Master"

"Have some tea. I guarantee you'll feel better in the morning. You need to start taking care of her. You have been selfish lately, Anakin."

"I don't want to lose her like…"

"Ani, the only way you're going to lose her at this point is through a divorce. I don't think you want that either. She loves you but she's not going to put up with your antics forever."

Anakin prepares the tea. Isabel leaves instructions for the computerized tea maker for him when he makes tea for her. He selects the tea he wants to brew as he listens to Qui-Gon.

"She'll never divorce me. She's crazy about me." He thinks for a moment. "I guess I had better go apologize."

"For what? You went to the hospital because you were worried about her. She knows that. Don't apologize for that. Do something nice for her. Treat her with some respect. Oh Heavens, did I say that? I did. Yeah! What I'm trying to say is, everyone makes mistakes. God knows I've made mistakes in my relationships."

Anakin pours the tea into a cup and sits at the kitchen table. Qui-Gon sits in a highchair built by Nakai Nor when Isabel was born. Her father shipped it to his daughter, hoping she would us it. It was a beautifully crafted piece of furniture. Anakin liked the idea it was sitting in the kitchen. It made the impending birth real for him. Something bothered him about it right now, however.

"What relationships? That thing you had with Aayla? That was lust. You are not romantic, Master."

"I can be romantic. I took her to the opera a few months ago."

"You can go anywhere you want, you're a ghost. It's not as if you had to buy tickets and make reservations to a nice restaurant. That takes planning."

"Now, Ani, why did you have to go there? I still have feelings you know. You're lucky you're still alive, Anakin. You have no excuses for your behavior. Don't take her for granted. Oh, did I say that? I sure did. Wow! I could be a marriage counselor."

"Master?"

"What is it, Ani? I'm listening."

"Please don't sit in my son's highchair."

After Qui-Gon leaves, Anakin writes a letter to his wife and leaves it under her pillow as she sleeps.

_To be continued… __'Birthing Class…Grades on a Sith Curve'_


	74. Chapter 74 Birthing Class, Sith Grades

_Chapter 74_

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'_Birthing Class…Grades on a Sith Curve'_

'_Jedi Beach House Party'_

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A week passes. Anakin was glad not to hear any 'News' from Kashyyyk. How was it a vacation if those pesky kids keep calling home?

'_Daddy, Luke's mean to me. 'Daddy, Leia's bothering my friends' 'Daddy, the waiter insulted my cradle-robbing boyfriend. Waah waah waah.' _

Geez, cut a Sith a break!

Anakin joins Isabel at her birthing class. They have made up. The letter he wrote was beautiful. He had worked on it the entire night. It was more than anything Isabel could have hoped for:

_Dearest Isabel,_

_You are the constant reminder everyday I wake up why I am a new man._

_You make me happy. I don't know what I would do without you. My heart breaks when I see you cry…I_

These first two lines he scratches out. What remains for Isabel to read is:

_I'm sorry._

_Love,_

_Ani_

He was a man of few words and very little patience. Luckily for Anakin, Isabel knew this already. At least he tried.

There are nine other couples in the class. Anakin checks them all out. What a bunch of losers! Then the peppy instructor, Jenni Sachi must have been a former cheerleader for the Coruscant Plasma ball League. She had the class warm up with some ridiculous yoga exercise with everyone waving their arms in the air like a bunch of Tatooine hippies chanting to the Dual Sun Gods

Anakin did not want to partake in this exercise. It was undignified. On the other hand, he didn't have much choice if he was to make good on his promise to his wife to change his ways. Up went those Sith arms!

He was tempted to perform some Jedi/Sith mind tricks but he had to be a good boy today. Thank Heavens no one he knew was around to see him sitting on a mat, legs in a lotus position, and practicing breathing exercises. He could not tolerate Governor Tarkin or that smug Admiral Motti laughing at him. He would definitely have to choke someone.

And then there was the 'film.' Better not bring popcorn to this 'red carpet' event. Of all the things a Sith could handle, watching a holovid of a live birth was more that Anakin needed to see. It was horrible. He regretted ever getting Isabel pregnant. He felt bad …for a moment; then he quips:

"Bel, you can handle that. It's easy. You're not going to do all that crying, moaning and horrible bellowing are you? That chick in the holovid sounds like a sick Wookie with all her howling."

Isabel looks at him for a moment then ignores his remark. She is imagining what a treat it must have been for his mother, God rest her soul, to give birth to him.

The class time is divided into three parts with a break in between each one. Isabel and Anakin return to the room a few minutes before the others. He was in no mood to 'chit-chat' with the other couples. He warns Isabel about not making too much eye-contact with their _'classmates' _or else they would find themselves sitting in one of their houses, drinking lemongrass tea and looking at ugly baby pics, bad wedding holographs then Anakin gets shanghaied into looking at the geeky husbands' Anime and Sci-Fi collection.

The instructor provides each couple with an exercise ball after the break. Anakin is immediately fascinated.

"Oh, cool!"

Anakin starts dribbling the large object like a basketball then twirls it on his finger. Isabel whispers to him.

"Anakin, it's to sit on."

"This is a bit dangerous for a little baby."

"It's for us."

"Oh. Good to know. Hmmm…Hey, Bel? Do we really need this class?" She gives him a blank stare. Okay, okay…I'm just asking. Don't get upset. Oooh, this is so cool." He sits on then exercise ball and bounces on it. "Yee-hah!"

"Anakin?"

"What, Babe?" He is still bouncing but slower now; bobbing gently in front of his wife.

"It's for me."

"Why do you get to have all the fun? Isn't this a childbirth class? What's all this pain and suffering they're talking about? You're playing with a big green ball."

"Stop bouncing."

"Lighten up. You're so moody lately. Let me make you laugh."

He remains sitting on the exercise ball and pulls her close. He gently caresses her belly then smiles up at her.

"You like that?"

"Anakin, stop."

I haven't done anything yet." He looks around as if to see who is in the room. He unfastens her top. She blushes."

"Anakin, stop!"

"No. You know you like it when I do this."

"No I don't. It's annoying."

"Ready?"

"No. Don't do it."

Anakin presses his mouth against her belly and blows raspberries. She tries not to laugh but Anakin is making bantha-like noises as he does this. She giggles. He smiles up at her. He is her sweet husband again. This is the Anakin Skywalker she has not seen for weeks.

"I love you."

"You say that to all the girls."

"No, just you, my love. Arf! He misses Skippy. Arf! Woof! Woof!"

Isabel is blushing. She tries to get his attention.

"Honey…honey…"

"Wait, he loves this!"

"Ani…"She tries to lift his chin so he looks up at her but he is having too much fun. Isabel tries not to laugh as her husband shifts between 'dog barks' and inarticulate baby talk. The baby moves inside her in response to Anakin's antics.

Finally she pushes him. He falls off the exercise ball onto the floor. She now has his attention but not before he scolds her.

"You know, you need to learn how to control the Force. I could have been hurt."

"Yeah, right. You're barely two feet from the floor….uhm, Ani, we have company."

He looks around. The birthing instructor is standing in the doorway smiling.

"Don't mind me. It's good to see our first-time fathers enjoying the class."

"Well, actually…"

Anakin stands. He appreciates Isabel looking out for him but he doesn't mind being called a 'first-time father.' Technically, for him, this will be his first time he will experience the birth of one of his children. He finally speaks.

"This is truly exciting and new for me." He gently squeezes Isabel's hand and Force speaks to her:

'_Thank you'_

Isabel wanted it known that he already has a beautiful set of teenage twins ready to strangle each other on the beaches of Kashyyyk.

The class resumes.

Anakin scans the room to observe the other couples. He Force-speaks to Isabel predicting which couples will have ugly kids and questions whether a few should be procreating at all.

Isabel bites her lip to keep from laughing. She looks down on the floor. Anakin keeps up with the comments.

'_Bel, look to your left…at 9 o'clock…'cretins on parade. Ugh! Poor kid won't get a date till he's balding and rich. That couple next to them, their kid is going to be as dumb as a box of rocks.'_

Isabel bites on her knuckle to keep from laughing. She finally loses it and laughs out loud. The instructor is talking about difficult deliveries and exercises to relieve pain. Isabel covers her face.

She notices the instructor looking in her direction. Everyone else is looking at her too.

"I'm sorry. Will you excuse me please? Go on with the class." Aside to Anakin, "Help me up, quick!"

She hurries out of the room. Anakin shrugs innocently as if he has no idea why his wife is behaving so strangely. He remains in the classroom like a 'good student.' He raises his hand.

"I'll take notes until she comes back."

"Mr. Skywalker, why don't you go and tend to your wife."

"Oh. Right." He makes a face then leaves the room. He finds Isabel sitting in the windowsill of the hallway. Two droid medic quality control inspectors pass by. They see Isabel. Anakin walks over to her. He is smiling.

"Can't you behave just once when we're out together? You're an embarrassment."

"Oh be quiet." She mocks him in the classroom. _'I'll take notes until she comes back.' _You kiss-up."

"You're just jealous because I didn't get in trouble. Now you know how you sound when you yell at me."

"I have never yelled at you. Anyway, this is all your fault."

Anakin laughs.

"Ready to go back inside?"

"No."

"That was funny, wasn't it?"

"Anakin, we're going to flunk this class."

Anakin is shocked.

"You mean we get graded for this crap?"

"We get a certificate."

"Is it worth anything?"

"It's for completing the course."

"Whatever happened to you women over the millennium? Back then, women could be working in the pastures, milking banthas, they would drop the baby then keep on working. You chicks on Coruscant are spoiled. You need a class for doing something that's been done for centuries?"

"Shut up, what do you know? I have never worked in any pasture."

"That's 'cause your parents didn't bring you up right." He sits beside his wife as he playfully taunts her. He gives her a few moments to settle down. "Was I that funny?"

"Yes. I'm still going to tell my father what you said."

"It was a joke. Listen, I hate to break it to you but we're going to have the best looking baby of this class. The couple behind us will have a cute baby but she's going to grow up to be a total skank."

"Anakin! That's not nice."

"It's true. Thank heaven our son won't be attending the same pre-school."

"Anakin, stop or we'll miss the rest of the class."

"So. It's not as if we're missing anything. That baby's going to pop out of you like a toaster waffle."

"Nice analogy, Anakin."

"So, shall we cut class?"

"No. Let's go back inside. Are you bored?"

"No. We can go back inside. This class is the funniest thing ever."

"Oh, so your comment during the holovid didn't mean anything, hey?"

"Oh, well, that was disgusting."

"Let's go. …And behave yourself."

"When have I ever let you down? Not counting all those other times?"

She looks at him and folds her arms. He points his finger at her.

"See, Bel, you have to stop holding grudges over _'petty'_ stuff."

She shoves him back inside the classroom.

After class they stop at her favorite ice cream parlor near the monastery where they were married. Anakin has not enjoyed ice cream so much as he is right now. Everything was right with the Galaxy and he could not wait to frame their graduation certificate once the course is complete.

The week also passes without incident on Kashyyyk. Leia makes good on her promise to steer clear of Luke and his friends. Han spends a day visiting with Chewbacca and his family.

The quiet tone has much to do with a party being planned by the members of the beach house. They don't want word of the 'Jedi House Party' to reach Coruscant. Luke agrees on the party idea but not on the 'content.' Two of his housemates have other ideas much to the chagrin of the recently graduated valedictorian.

As Valin and Luke are walking into the beach house, Kip and Kyle are in the kitchen unloading a keg. Valin looks in the doorway.

"Why do we have three kegs?"

Kip looks up and smiles without missing a beat. "It's a party."

Luke steps in front of Valin to inspect the "delivery."

"We agreed on two kegs for the whole night, Kip. I actually thought one would be enough."

"Who has a kegger with only one keg? Tell me that?"

"This isn't going to be a wild party, is it?"

Kyle pats Luke on the shoulder to reassure him.

"Luke, mon frère, relax, mon ami. We vil have zee best, kick-ass Jedi Beach party ever."

"Let's make sure no one gets out of control."

"Lighten up! You worry too much, dude. This party is going to be slamming."

"That's what I'm afraid of. I've got a bad feeling about this."

"Luke, trust us. When have we steered you wrong….recently…in the past week?"

"Fine."

Kip chimes in, "You will not regret it, man. Beer, hot Jedi chicks, Jar-Jar will be our bouncer and we'll have a cool D.J."

"What? ….wait…back up…what did you say?"

"We'll fill you in later; we've got to sign for the food delivery."

Kip walks pass Luke. Valin folds his arms and shrugs his shoulders.

"Don't look at me. I know as much about this as you do."

"I have a feeling I'm going to regret this night ever happened."

_To be continued… 'When Good Jedi Girls Turn Bad'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	75. Chapter 75 Jedi House Party

_Chapter 75_

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'_Jedi Beach House Party'_

'_When Good Jedi Girls Turn Bad'_

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The night of the party Luke has lots to worry about; a house full of unruly Jedi teens, an unpredictable Gungan, too much beer in the house, boys and girls 'getting together', too much beer in the house, rebel roommates, boys and girls getting together, too much beer…The thoughts kept swimming around in his head. He could not afford a disaster tonight. Oh, then there was Leia, unsupervised because Han decided to go 'tree-climbing' with the Wookies. So far things seemed calm in her corner of the house. He almost felt bad about ignoring her for the past week.

He decides to go outside and get some fresh air while the band is setting up. The clean sea air refreshes him. He leans against the side of the house. He suddenly hears voices. It is Leia and another girl. He soon recognizes her. It is Winter, one of Leia's childhood friends.

"Hey, how's it going?"

"Peachy." Leia is still a little miffed about being banished to the least desirable room in the house. Even if she wasn't invited.

"So where are you two going?"

"To the club."

Luke wants to make amends with his sister. He felt bad for ignoring her since her arrival but she wasn't part of his holiday plans.

"Oh. Hey, why don't you stay here and hang out with us. There's plenty of food and it has to be more fun than watching lame clubbers on the dance floor."

Leia looks around as if she is considering the offer.

"Are you sure you want me there?"

"Leia, don't play martyr. You're more than welcome. Kip and Kyle organized it for the most part."

"I should have known. The 'Special Ed' Jedi graduates."

"You can still have fun. So, what do you say? Winter, how about you?"

Winter's eyes light up. She wasn't too keen on the night club idea anyway.

"Thank you, Luke! Leia, listen, I'd rather go to the party than hit the clubs anyway."

"Alright. Fine, we'll go." Leia made it sound as if she wasn't entirely into the party idea but actually she was glad her brother extended the invitation.

Luke smiles.

"You'll have a good time, I promise. It's early. It doesn't start till 9 o'clock."

"Ok. Thanks, Luke."

"Don't mention it…really…DON'T."

Leia and Winter return to the house and 'modify' their outfits. Leia wears a gold chain hip belt over black low rider Capri pants with white piping on the edges and a matching midriff top with the sleeves cut out at the shoulders. Her hair is pulled back into a long ponytail.

Winter wears her hair pulled back into a blonde Barbie-doll flipped ponytail. She is wearing turquoise mini sundress with gold metallic discs sewn it. The 'mini dress' is actually a long top, but as soon as the girls decide they were going to a party, they decide the even called for some drastic 'fashion changes.'

They are both wearing designer sandals. It was Leia's treat when they decided to go shopping earlier. She was so glad to see someone on Kashyyyk that she actually knew and genuinely liked…besides Han and her brother.

While they are getting ready, the guys are still setting up. It is dusk. The 'Jedi House' is decorated with festive Jedi Emblem crepe paper streamers. The food table is all set, and, most importantly, the 'keg emporium' is set up near the front door so guests will immediately have a brew in one hand while snagging a 'date' with the other.

Jar-Jar is outside an hour later guarding the premises. He is decked out in a Jedi robe and wielding a plastic lightsaber. Kip thought it looked cool.

Not more than fifteen minutes later, two Jedi teens approach the beach house. Jar-Jar holds out his hand to stop them.

"Whoosa you be?"

" Weesa be….Ahhh, we're here for the party, man."

"Yousa got dates?"

"No, We're here to meet some though."

"No date no passa the gate!"

"Wha?"

The other Jedi teen responds. He is indignant. "Who made up that stupid rule?"

"Master Kip and Master Kyle. Theysa say _'Party not quakin' till booties-a-shakin' _"

"We have to talk to them. We have an invitation."

Just at that moment they see Kyle. They walk over to him.

"Hey, Kyle, man! What's with the velvet rope treatment?"

"Why, what's up?"

"Kip invited us and this dude's not letting us in."

"He's the boss man. Be nice to him. He might let you in but we've got to get our chick to dude ratio up…If you can round up some righteous hot babes, he'll let you through."

"You're '_effing'_ with us, aren't you?"

"I _'eff'_ you not, dude. Bring on the babes."

The two teenagers return to the entranceway and try again.

"We're here for the party."

"You got hot chicks?"

"Yeah. They're at the delivery door. Can we let them in?"

"Sure! Gosa right ahead in!"

He lets them pass the gate up to the beach house.

Mara and her friends arrive. Callista walks in looking like a nun. Her high-collared top and long shirt almost resemble a Tion Medon outfit. Leia and Winter immediately take her to Leia's room to give her a makeover. They present her to Valin. He likes what he sees.

"Shall we go up to my penthouse, my dear?" Callista giggles. She is flattered.

Leia smiles with a look of accomplishment. Well, my work is done here. "Winter, lets go get a couple of beers and take a look at the Jedi rejects."

"Great idea."

Kip decides he needs help drawing in the women so he enlists Leia and Winter to make some calls. He promises Leia that he would switch rooms with her.

Soon the house begins to fill up. The guys are bringing in girls from the beach. One Jedi teen even brings a Wookie in a bikini in order to get into the party. Kip lets them in since the poor fellow made such a daring effort. He laughs aside to Kyle.

"Someone will get drunk enough tonight."

Leia overhears this but she does not let on that she is listening. She quietly walks away. Kyle laughs and jokes about it too.

"You need all three kegs to mess you up bad enough to hit on that."

"Where's Skywalker? Is he carding people again? He needs to lighten up."

"Would you be able to lighten up if you had a dad like his riding your ass every day? Hey, remember when we were little, we used to come over for snacks at Luke's house? He had the hot nanny. Then his father ruined everything by marrying her."

"I know. Who knocks up a righteous babe like that? It's a crime. She could have been at our party tonight." They sense someone is with them.

"Is that so?" Luke has been standing behind them listening. "You two are a couple of degenerates."

"It was meant as a compliment, dude."

"Well, I don't need anymore compliments."

"Luke, dude, relax, man…Where's your woman? I haven't seen 'Tenacious Barbie' around. You need to get laid. Stop all this ID check at the door. Go inside and have fun. Look at Valin up there with Callista. She looks real happy.

Callista is on the balcony tossing her clothes over the rail. Valin is laughing but he is also trying to pull her inside to calm her down.

"Hey, boys! Catch!" Her top lands on Kyle's head.

"Callista, you have recovered. Our little darling has been healed! Hallelujah! Awww, Val, don't take her inside, dude!"

Valin calls down to them. "Got to, she's a wild one. She's out of control. I've never seen her like this before." A crowd of boys have formed outside urging her to 'contribute' another article of clothing.

It is late in the evening. Han is just returning from visiting Chewbacca and sees a crowd of Jedi teens still chanting for Callista to drop another article of clothing. Valin tries to get her inside but he's not trying hard enough. Han cannot believe what he is seeing.

"What the… I go away for one day…."

Meanwhile, Callista revisits the balcony.

"I love you guys! Especially you, Luke Skywalker!" She points to Luke who is trying to send the guys away.

Mara walks over to Luke and hands him her beer. "Is this your idea of a party?"

"No. Definitely not." This is not the party he had in mind. "Kip and Kyle are your entertainment M.C's for the evening. I just live here."

"You're a good boy this time round, aren't you?"

"I'm just biding my time until my apprenticeship begins. I don't want any trouble."

"Really? No trouble?"

"No trouble."

"Then follow me."

"Where are we going?"

"Away from this sort of trouble. Come on, Pinky, don't be scared. I won't bite."

They go up to the roof of the beach house with a blanket and look up at the stars. Mara leans over and kisses him.

"Miss, Jade, Are you trying to seduce me?"

"Would that be a bad thing?"

"I suppose not. If I can handle a Voxyn, then I can handle a red demon."

"Oh, Luke, you say the sweetest things…." Just as they are about to kiss, Luke turns away.

"Do you hear that? Someone is crying."

They go inside to investigate. Valin is standing outside his room. Jar-Jar shoos the crowd away.

"Okiday, everyone downstairs. Nuthin' to seesa here!"

Luke is amazed by the way Jar-Jar is able to control the crowd. He then turns to Valin who looks distressed.

"What happened? Val? Talk to me."

"I can't get her to stop crying. Honest, I didn't touch her."

Luke knocks on the door. It swings open. Mara follows behind him in case he needs assistance. He sees Callista on the bed sobbing. All of her clothes are outside, thrown over the balcony. She is wrapped in a blanket. Luke sits in the chair across from her.

"Cali? What's going on?"

"I've made a complete fool of myself."

"No you didn't. You had a little fun and perhaps a bit too much beer. No one is judging you here."

Leia knocks on the door. She has some clothes for Callista to wear. Mara looks.

"I could have loaned her something to wear."

Leia raises an eyebrow and with a wry smile she responds.

"Mara, no offense but she's not looking for a date tonight. She doesn't need any 'make-out Barbie' apparel. She needs something she can wear during the day."

Luke stares at Leia.

"Leia. Please?"

"Okay, I didn't mean to insult your girlfriend. Callista, Winter and I will be just outside if you need us."

Leia steps into the hallway. Jar-Jar starts his 'crowd control' speech.

"Okiday, everyone downstairs. Nuthin' to seesa here!" He looks at Leia as he says this.

Leia returns a blank stare then waves him away.

"Out of my way, doofuss!"

Offended, Jar-Jar puts his hands on his hips.

"Humph!"

Back in Valin's room, Luke and Mara have a chat with Callista. She is clothed now.

"Are you alright or is it something else? Val is really upset out there. He doesn't understand what's going on."

'He did nothing wrong. I think I drank too much."

"You think?" Luke sees the empty cups on the table."

"I made a fool out of myself tonight..."

"Believe me, I know the feeling. But look on the bright side, most of these guys won't even remember it was you."

"But you will."

"I'm sober. Anyway, I won't tell anyone and neither will Mara."

Mara stands near the balcony door. She folds her arms. She gives Luke a wide-eyed look; insulted at his insinuation that she cannot be trusted. "I won't say anything. I promise."

"Thanks. You're a good friend, Luke. I meant what I said on the balcony. I still love you."

"No you don't…" He knows she is telling the truth. Mara feels bad for Callista but she is growing impatient and is a little hurt that Luke is spending so much time with her. Luke senses this.

"Cali, why don't you stay here with Mara until you feel better? I'm going to step outside for a moment."

Mara's eyes widen again as she looks at Luke. He returns the glance and shrugs. When he leaves the room, Mara looks over at Callista.

"Val's really a good guy. I'd take him for myself but I'm stuck with 'Pinky.'

"Who?"

"Luke. The saviour of us all."

"Oh. I'm sorry. I thought if I said it, he would… you know."

"Callista, I hope this doesn't destroy our friendship. I know we were never close but I still consider you a friend."

"I'll be alright. If I ever have to have a rival, I'd want it to be you."

"Thanks…I think."

"You and Luke are great together. You're very lucky to have him. "

"If I can ever get his undivided attention while he's saving everyone."

"He does try to save everyone, doesn't he?"

"That's why I love him. He's saved me plenty."

Luke is out in the hallway sitting on the floor with Valin. Valin looks depressed.

""So, Val, what's going on, Bro?"

"Everything was fine until that third beer hit her. Then she started rambling on about you. It seems that everything lately is 'you'…You made valedictorian, you're going to intern on the Jedi Council and my father is going to be your mentor. You're on the fast track of becoming a Master and you have just graduated. My dad made me repeat the training making me the oldest padawan in history."

"That's not true."

"Well, I'm older than you are. Other than that, my life is going just great!"

"Val, I didn't know this bothered you so much."

"My dad reminded me that I didn't make valedictorian because I didn't work hard enough, and I partied too much…and I wasn't as strong with the Force as you are. He told me, _"Luke Skywalker could teach you a thing or two even if he is younger." _He sighs then smiles at Luke. Don't worry. I still like you Luke. It just wigged me out when Cali started her drunken confession of love for you. Any who…, I started thinking about what a failure I am." He laughs. "This is one whacky night."

"Val, I love you. You're the older brother I never had. I have always looked up to you growing up. Don't be so down on yourself. Your dad rides your ass and you know how my dad is."

They laugh together.

"Luke, you're a great friend. I'm going to go in and take Callista back to her bungalow. Sena and Rocca are downstairs in a wet Jedi T-shirt contest so they're not ready to leave anytime soon. They'll be of no good to her tonight. Luke, don't try to get everyone in line. Let it go. It's a party. Go have some fun. Listen, Mara's getting restless...You don't want a cat fight on your hands. Callista is a wild little drunk. It really shocked the heck out of me. Someone's got to keep an eye on her."

They stand. Valin slaps Luke on the back then hugs him. Luke calls Mara. They go up to his room. He is relaxing in his bean bag chair sipping a Rodia soda.

"So, Lu-Lu, are you done saving the galaxy from drunken lovelorn Jedi and wild housemates?"

"You're saying I need to relax, right?"

"Yes. Besides, I never gave you your graduation gift."

"What's that?"

Mara draws the curtains on the balcony door. Luke looks around.

"Hey, It's dark in here. I can't see a thing." He hears something being unzipped. "Mara, what are you doing?" Her hand reaches for his soda pop bottle. "Hey, I'm not done with that. Oh, well, I guess I am."

"You have to learn how to share, Lu-Lu." She takes a sip from the bottle.

Luke hears her place the bottle on the table. He feels her approach him. He whispers and giggles nervously.

"Don't hurt me."

The party does not quiet down until 3 o'clock in the morning. Han has not seen Leia all night. He goes to their room and falls asleep.

Morning -

Luke wakes up to screaming from Kip's room. There is giggling in the hall. All Luke can hear is Kip screaming: "I killed it! Holy Hoth! What did I do?"

Luke groans as he rubs his eyes.

"Oh, no, what now?"

Mara curls up close to him. "Luke, ignore it. Let's go back to sleep, It's just Kip freaking out."

"He sounds as if he's in trouble."

"Luke, it's nothing. It's just a practical joke."

"Someone played a joke on Kip? Why?"

"He was insulting us girls so he's got to pay."

"What did you do?'

"It wasn't just me. It was Leia and Rocca and Sena…and Kyle…."

"Kyle? You got Kyle to help you do this?"

"Leia threatened to ruin the party. Apparently he made a deal with her then broke it at the last minute. She was mad as Hell. They had a big argument. Remember the two guys who couldn't get into the party and Kip told them to bring a tall chick? They brought a Wookie."

"I don't think I want to hear anymore." He gets out of bed and grabs a towel to wrap around him as he walks out into the hall.

Leia, Rocca, Winter and Sena are laughing hysterically. Leia sees her brother then grins. Everyone in the hall applauds.

"Congratulations, Luke."

"Shut up, Leia."

Kip walks out into the hallway. His face is flushed. Luke stares at him. He looks over at Luke then grabs him by the arm and sobs. He has a look of desperation. Luke tries to hold onto his towel as Kip cries.

"I slept with a Wookie. I think I killed her…it's flat as a pancake. I'll never get off Kashyyyk alive. Luke, what am I going to do?"

Luke almost feels sorry for Kip but he can't help but crack a smile and a joke.

"Pray?" He then tries to 'comfort' his friend and pats him gently on his back. Leia and the others are on the stairway laughing quietly. Luke looks downstairs for a second then turns his attention back to Kip. "Don't worry Kip; I think the Wookie police will be lenient. She did come to the house willingly. She was asking for trouble."

"I suppose. I just don't remember even talking to it."

Leia can't resist and yells up the steps. "Kip, you were all over her. You were a Wildman. You said no female had ever made you feel the way she made you feel last night. She died happily."

"Really?"

Meanwhile, Luke decides to walk into Kips' room. He returns with a big smirk on his face. Kip looks at Luke. "

"Luke, what do we do about the body?"

"Throw it in the trash. It's of no use to anyone now."

"Wha--? Are you guys insane? I'm a dead man. I just graduated. I was my parent's only hope. Help me."

Luke sees Kip becoming emotionally unraveled and decides it's time to put an end to his misery.

"Kip, why don't you go in there and cover the 'body'…out of respect."

"I can't."

"Kip, come on, be a man. You can do it.."

He walks back into the room and follows Luke's advice. Suddenly everyone hears an enraged scream. Kip emerges from the room where everyone is waiting. He is dragging a big Wookie-hair rug with a red bikini pinned to it. He is furious.

"Who did this? When I find out, someone will pay!"

Leia laughs.

"You have to be real drunk to have that happen to you."

Kip wants to lunge over everyone and strangle her or Force-choke her. The hands-on approach would be more gratifying. Instead, he laughs at her.

"So, you had your fun. You've got a big hicky on your neck."

She laughs and points to his neck. "So, do you."

Suddenly they both cringe. Leia thinks she is going to be sick. She screams, "Eww!"

Luke returns to his room and closes the door. Mara joins him. She smiles.

"Happy now?"

"Yes. Kip was pissing me off yesterday. I told him not to buy three kegs. That should teach him."

"How did you get the hicky patches on him and your sister?"

"Patches? I never used any patches! I have no idea what happened there."

"No wonder you made valedictorian; I had no idea you were part of this."

"Yep, I'm full of surprises."

They go back to sleep.

Han gets up that morning and finds Leia on her way downstairs. She covers her neck.

"Leia, what the heck happened while I was gone?"

"Do I question you when you go tree climbing? Leave me alone!"

_To be continued… 'Farewell My Jedi Summer Love' _

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	76. Chapter 76 Farewell My Jedi Summer Love

_Chapter 76_

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'Farewell My Jedi Summer Love'

'_The Agony of the Feet'_

'_Turncoat Puppy and Old Yella''_

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Anakin is living the happy life. His summer has been going great. No scandalous pictures of the twins on the plasma and no illicit holographs on the intergalactic web of Luke with his hands on the 'headlights' of some coed. What a good boy!

Not a peep from Kashyyyk.

He and Isabel take a week-long trip to Yavin4 to their old romantic hideaway. Leia had been right about the baby being conceived on the 'sandy' beaches of the pristine tropical resort. He didn't have to explain anything to anyone. Darned nosy kids!

Isabel is far along in her pregnancy. She looks as if she is about to burst any moment. She couldn't see her feet the month before and she sure couldn't see anything now. Anakin had to check her shoes each morning because she had no idea what the heck she was wearing anymore. He did not want to be embarrassed by his wife's footwear mix ups.

The birthing classes were still a hoot but Isabel was getting tired and cranky. She was yelling at him a lot lately too. Anakin felt so 'put upon.' Had no one felt his _'pain'_?

There was one thing, however, that really annoyed the 'sith' out of him. Those 'know-it-all' couples. There were two of them. They were on their second and third child respectively. Were they idiots? Why did they find the need to take the class again? The big dummies! Always interrupting, and always making the other couples in the class appear ill-prepared. Well, he meant to read and study those _'Three Stages of Labor'_ chapters last week but he had 'important business'…Pod racing is serious business…especially if you've got 87,000 credits riding on it! It was money well-invested.

Anakin was lucky not to be called on in class too because he didn't have a 'sith' of a clue what the answers were. He was also fortunate that Isabel saved their asses from total embarrassment and humiliation. She answered all of the questions correctly during a 'dark lighting round' quiz (No dark lightning was ever used in this class; it was just a cool name to spark the interest of the couples).

In one of the later classes, the instructor made the men wear a 30-pound pouch across their stomachs then told them to try to put on their shoes. It was comical beyond belief. Anakin was not going to do this but he took one look at his wife and relented. Had he not done this, he would have been the only one not to participate and Isabel would have been crying all night.

She was having these moody moments at home where she would just burst into tears for no apparent reason. During their holiday on Yavin4, they were strolling along the beach and she felt the gentle waves roll to the shoreline and the cool water touching her feet. Suddenly she began bawling. She could not see her feet. This scared the heck out of Anakin. He felt helpless sometimes. He made an effort to be really sweet to her when he felt this bundle of emotions coming on.

To break up the monotony, he decided a trip across town to her parent's house would cheer her up. It did. He brought Skippy along to just to gloat when Nakai sees them.

Ouisanne is delighted to see them too. She greets her daughter and new son-in-law at the door. Skippy trots in proudly behind Anakin just as brazen as he could be. Nakai looks down at the little pooch.

"Oh, look who it is, _'Daddy's Little Turncoat.'_ Hello, traitor.

Skippy lowers his head and covers his face."

"Yeah, you should be ashamed to show your little titanium muzzle. Whatever happened to loyalty? Man's best friend? Is your new _'family'_ treating you good? You're a sellout. Yeah, that's right. I said it."

Anakin protests.

"Hey, lay off my dog! Don't hate the pooch."

Isabel's oldest brother, Stefan is at the house. He had been helping his father work on an ornate canoe for the great grandfather of the Queen of Naboo. The old man was up in age and it was ready to ship him out to the middle of the lake and let him float downstream. Anakin thought that could be a cool way to get rid of the Emperor but he sure wouldn't buy a nice canoe for the old wizened sith. He thought a rotting plank of wood and some putrid-smelling Felucia climbing vine would do just fine.

Everyone was in the workroom to admire the craftsmanship of the canoe. Anakin stood there with the image in his head of Palpatine trussed up to an old piece of driftwood sailing along a Mustafar lava flow in a blazing fire. Anakin is laughing to himself. Nakai is not amused. He thinks Anakin is laughing at their canoe.

"Anakin, what's your problem?"

"Oh, nothing. I'm sorry. I was just thinking of something. But your canoe is beautiful."

"My sons and I were meaning to take you on a canoe trip one day. How about tomorrow morning before dawn. We can get some fishing in while we're at it."

Anakin thinks for a second. He recalls seeing a mob film where one of the 'relatives' was taken on a 'fishing trip.' He smiles. "You know, I would love to but I've got to get up and run some errands."

"Well, a rain check then." Nakai winks at Stefan. Stefan laughs.

"Hey, Anakin, you have to hang out with us sometime. You'll have a blast."

"Rain check sounds good. I'll get back to you."

In the next room, Lil' Hellraiser is circling Skippy. He growls unaware of Anakin's 'modifications' to the perky little pup. Lil' Hellraiser has always had the 'upper paw' of the two K-9 droids. Suffice it to say, things have changed dramatically. Anakin finds sheer glee in his 'secret commands' that convert Skippy into a ravaging lunatic 'mad dog.'

When Nakai is not looking, Anakin waves his hand and Skipping turns into 'Sith Dog' with claws. The next minute Lil' Hellraiser is cowering in the corner of the den depositing little chunks of titanium droppings all over the carpet. Skippy innocently returns by Anakin's side panting like a little docile puppy again. Nakai is puzzled by Lil' Hellraiser's behavior.

"I have never seen him like this. He's usually a feisty old fella."

Anakin plays 'dumb.'

"Perhaps he needs obedience training. Behavioral modification usually helps."

"Maybe. I simply don't understand it. He seems to have lost all his fight today."

Hellraiser is shaking with fear as he hides behind his master. He is twice the size of Skippy, so the sight of him whimpering is comical…to Anakin anyway. Anakin glances over at the pooch. The trained attack K-9 droid is now 'Old Yella.' Anakin is exacting his revenge for all the times the dog has attacked him during his visits. All is equal to 2 times the dog has ever approached him but in Anakin's mind, 2 was 2 too many.

Anakin sighs wistfully, feigning sympathy for the former 'killing machine.' He leans over to 'talk' to the pooch.

"Awww, poor Lil' HR. What's the matter, boy? Cat gotcha?"

Isabel is suspicious. She stares at Anakin once her father is out of the room.

"What the heck are you up to?"

"Me? Oh, nothing. Just talking to your dad's little dog."

"Oh. For a moment I thought you were getting into trouble."

"Uhm…not me…never…I learned my lesson. I said I would be good. See?" He gently pets the dog and coos as he 'talks to the poor creature. Isabel slowly walks away.

As soon as Isabel leaves the room, Anakin taunts the little droid.

"What's the matter, you little mutt? Not so big and bad now are you. That's 'cause you're not 'top dog' anymore. You're yella'…Heheheh! Oh, you kill me. You look so funny yelping like a pathetic hound. Skippy's going to kick your ass." Anakin is having so much fun with this he forgets that Skippy is not around. The dog is scampering out the nearest door to the garden. Anakin follows him to the driveway. The dog is cornered. Suddenly Anakin hears a slow rumbling. Lil' Hellraiser looks Anakin in the eye then lunges. Anakin had not expected this. In a flash Anakin is running up the driveway and hops on top of the car. "Whoa…ooh, sith!" Hellraiser is growling like a rabid maniac.

"Wait a minute, how'd this happen! Hey, I'm smarter that this."

Meanwhile, Skippy is in the living room being spoiled by Isabel's mother. He is on his back getting his belly rubbed. He rolls over then thumps his hind leg and wags his tail. Isabel is looking around for Anakin. He is outside. She storms outside and catches him in the act.

"Anakin, are you mentally ill?"

"Wha..?"

"I'm watching you." She points her finger at him then returns to the house.

Anakin follows her. He sees Skippy getting the 'royal' treatment. He pretends not to enjoy it as soon as he sees Anakin. When they are alone, Anakin scolds him."

"Where were you while I was outside being 'attacked? Just remember who rescued you from this place. Skippy looks sad for a moment then licks Anakin's face. "You rascal you."

The family finally sits down to a late lunch. During dessert Nakai takes the last slice of the Felucia lemon pie. Isabel suddenly bursts into tears. Anakin puts down his fork. And rubs her shoulders. Her father is stunned.

"Honey, did you want it? You can have the pie,"

"Why can't everybody be nice to one another? Waaaah!"

This is an awkward moment for everyone. Isabel's brother Philippe stops by the house while this is going on. He is not sure what he has just walked into. Ouisanne and Nakai have never seen their daughter have a meltdown. Anakin is just as shocked but he is just realizing what is happening. "It's going to be alright. I know what's going on."

He holds her in his arms and takes her into the den.

Anakin is nicer to Lil' Hellraiser for the rest of the day. Both K-9 droids sit with Isabel the rest of the afternoon. They are performing silly doggie tricks as she sleeps peacefully on the sofa; but a _"Little Skywalker"_ is wide awake being fully entertained and giving commands. Anakin returns to the den and Force-speaks to him.

"Are you happy now?"

Meanwhile, on Kashyyyk, Han has gotten over being angry with Leia. Several weeks have passed since the house party that went awry. As it turns out, nothing happened between Leia and Kip. Leia got into a little 'harmless' necking while playing the prank on an inebriated Kip. She fell asleep for an hour before Winter knocks on the door to get her out.

The pranksters camped out in the hall waiting for Kip to wake up. Han realized he had to decide if he wanted to continue to put up with the teen beauty or look for someone closer to his age that was more 'serious-minded.' He decided to stick with Leia, with all her faults. They were made for each other and there was plenty of time for her to grow up.

Callista realized that Valin was a truly wonderful guy. He stays up with her that night in her bungalow talking. She apologizes for humiliating him. He told her he did not remember her saying anything about being in-love with anyone.

Kyle decides he is 'King of the Studs' when he wakes up with both Rocca and Sena. He sneaks them out the back door at daybreak.

Luke and Mara are enjoying their summer days and nights and sipping Rodia soda on the roof under the stars.

The summer holiday was drawing to a close. There are still a few more visits to the Okikuti Grill for the teens to enjoy being patronized by their favorite waiter.

And Jar-Jar has had the best vacation ever. He sends a postcard to the Emperor. No one has ever sent the crotchety old Sith a greeting before, not without force anyway. He posted it on his bulletin board purchased the day he receives the card. He sent that crack head Elan to the Stationery store to pick it up. Palpatine made sure he would return. He has a dark lightning boot clamped onto Elan's ankle. If the skinny little gnat didn't want to get the shock of his life, he had better follow the correct path back to the Imperial Offices.

That silly Gungan actually thought about the Emperor. It made him smile…his face almost cracks doing it.

_To be continued…'_'Book 'em Stefo: COPD Sith' 'Rainy Days and Jedi Always a Bad Mix'

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	77. Chapter 77 Book 'em Stefo! COPD SITH

_Chapter 77_

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'Book 'em Stefo: COPD Sith'

'Rainy Days and Jedi Always a Bad Mix'

'_The Next to the Next Last Jedi Supper'_

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Anakin works with Threepio to have the house thoroughly cleaned and redecorated before the children return home. He has been getting better with the color schemes. No more browns and black. Instead, he is sitting with the interior decorators and impressing them by selecting light blue and white swatches. Isabel is amazed at the transformation. Actually, there was no real 'transformation.' He just selected all the girlie colors he knew his wife and daughter loved so much. He knew if he chose the wrong 'hues' and 'patterns' he would never hear the end of it. He just wanted to get it over with and then he would have peace.

Isabel has so much faith in him she feels comfortable enough to nap for hours at a time during the day. She was like a hibernating Boga. The baby has drained her physically as well as emotionally. Anakin starts referring to her as Jabba again when he sees her lounging on the chaise. Isabel is annoyed but she doesn't care anymore.

The nursery is finished but it is off-limits to Isabel. She would be forbidden to see it until the day of the baby shower. Leia, before she left for her summer vacation, reassured her it would be beautiful.

Isabel is curious to know what has been done with the room but she does not try to sneak a look. She does get to use the rocking chair Anakin asks Nakai to make for her. It is in the master bedroom near the window.

One of the things that has annoyed Anakin, are his wife's sudden disappearances. Lately Isabel has gotten into the habit of leaving the house at all hours of the day and night. She would eventually return with a 'sith-load' of food. The cravings have returned.

One evening, Anakin wakes up to find her gone. Isabel must have had a burst of energy. She has gotten dressed, leaves the house and grabs a taxi for downtown Coruscant.

He is frantic as he drives around in the speeder searching for her. A couple of hookers cruising around the Outlander Club think he is 'waiting' for them. He made the mistake of asking passersby if they have seen a very pregnant woman because he is _'looking'_ for one. One of the hookers calls out to one of her _'co-workers.'_

"_Hey, Chantel, you have a customer. He's cute too!"_

Suddenly a 'lady of the evening' trots to his speeder. She is wearing 5 inch stilettos and has a bulging belly under her gold Lycra mini dress.

"Hey, handsome, you looking for a fantasy?" Once Anakin sees her approaching his car he stares in horror then takes off. He is a block away when he sees the siren of a Coruscant Police Unmarked vehicle.

"Aw, man! What the '#¿₣$₣ℓ&' now?" He slows down and pulls over. Another car pulls up in front of the unmarked car. This is an actual police vehicle. The uniformed officer walks over to Anakin's speeder on the drivers' side. "

"Good evening, sir. May I see your license and registration please?"

Anakin is pissed off. He rolls his eyes then complies.

"Is there a problem, officer?"

The officer examines Anakin's documents then shines the flashlight inside the vehicle. He then enters Anakin's data into the Intergalactic Vehicles Database.

"Do you know why we stopped you, Mr. Skywalker?"

"No…sir, officer, I certainly do not."

"Keep your hands where I can see them, please."

Anakin complies. He glances at the officer to check out his badge. His name is 'Officer T-1000'.

Great, this is just what Anakin needed, a Rookie_ 'Terminator' _cop. They were unpredictable and are trigger-happy.

The T-1000 goes to his patrol car. Another offer is standing close to the vehicle.

"What's his story?"

"Probably cruising around for some action. I should alert the Coruscant Vice Squad."

Anakin can hear them. He is insulted by the implication and mutters to himself,_ "Action? What 'action?"_

The officer watching the vehicle speaks again.

"I'll make sure he doesn't try anything stupid."

"Thanks, Ponch."

As the data goes into the main computer at headquarters, the detectives in the unmarked vehicle call the T-1000 to inquire about what is going on. They can read the data feedback on the computer in their own vehicle. One of the detectives exclaims with a laugh as he reads the data on the panel.

"You've got to be _'effing' _kidding me! This is too unbelievable."

"What is?"

"T-1000, what's this guy's story? I can't wait to hear it."

The rookie T-1000 responds. "He says he is out looking for a pregnant woman, sir. Is that a code for a hooker with contraband, sir?"

The detective purses his lips. He is almost smiling. "Have him get out of the car for a moment but don't cuff him and don't piss him off. I just want to see him."

The other detective is confused.

"Lieutenant, what are you doing? This could be a good bust."

"Naaah…Not tonight…' He watches from his vehicle as Anakin is asked to leave his speeder. The detective covers his mouth then chuckles. He radios the two officers. "T-1000, officer Ponch, he's ok. I believe his story. Give him back his documents."

The detective turns to his Lieutenant. "Lt. Nor, you know him?"

"Yeah, he's my brother-in-law. He really is looking for his wife."

"Your sister's a hooker?"

Stefan Nor stares at his partner. "No! Just don't talk anymore. You're being a jerk." He gets out of the unmarked car and tells the two officers to return to their cars. Stefan walks up to Anakin. Anakin squints when he sees Stefan approaching him. Stefan is grinning.

"Anakin, what's going on? You ok?"

"Embarrassed and humiliated. They stopped me for no reason."

"Well, you are in the red light district in 'cruising mode.' You lose my sister again?"

"She left the house. I'm trying to find her."

"Need my help? She can't possible be down in these parts. She's going to be pissed off when she discovers you were looking for her in T.J. '_Hooker' _City."

But I feel she's nearby."

"Listen; get back in your speeder. We'll follow behind you in case you need us. I know how you get when you're frustrated. Go on, we'll, help you find her."

"Thanks."

Stefan tells the two officers in the patrol vehicle to leave. He trails behind Anakin in the unmarked car.

Anakin finds Isabel a few minutes later at the take-out counter at Dex's. She had an overwhelming craving for one of those over-stuffed Dex Burger Deluxe Specials. Anakin picks her out immediately in the crowd of factory workers who are on break during the graveyard shift. She was the cleaning one in the grimy bunch. Dex has his eyes on her the entire time and took care she doesn't get hit on by the rift-raff. He got her order fast. Anakin thanks Dex when he sees him then promptly scolds Isabel once they are outside. He kisses her after his tirade.

"I'm sorry, but you had this coming. I was afraid for you. It's not safe to be out this late in this part of town. As they head for the speeder, Isabel sees her brother standing outside his vehicle.

"Stefan, what are you doing here?"

"Keeping your husband out of trouble. He was searching all over town for you. I found him just in time. He screwed up our bust earlier."

"Anakin, where the heck did you go?"

"The Outlander Club."

"What?"

"Well, these people are out all night. They could have seen you."

"Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry. I don't know what's gotten into me lately."

"A little 'Sith'?"

"Ha-Ha. Don't quit your day job."

They head to the parking lot. Just then, the two 'ladies of the evening,' who encountered Anakin earlier, are heading towards them. Chantel stops then gives Isabel a stare then looks at Anakin.

"Oh, so you found one. She ain't all that. Bet she's not even pregnant. Humph!" She rolls her eyes at Isabel then whispers to Anakin, "You give Chantel a call when you want something better, handsome. Come on Moana Latte" She calls Isabel an unflattering name. Isabel's mouth drops open.

Chantel stuffs a card in Anakin's shirt. He blushes then smiles with a dumb expression on his face as he looks at Isabel. He shrugs. Isabel is not smiling.

The two women strut away only to be confronted by Detective Nor and his partner, Sergeant Drebin. Three squad cars pull up. Officers arrive and round up some clients and the 'manager of the two women. It is a Jawa who is handcuffed but immediately begins screaming in Jawanese at his 'girls' inquiring about his money. Lt. Nor grins as he watches the two women being handcuffed by some officers.

"Well, well, if it isn't En-Chantel Star and Moana Latte. You girls just can't seem to stay out of trouble."

"I was framed."

"Yeah, tell it to the judge. Book'er Danno."

"Yes, Sir, Detective."

Stefan walks over to Anakin and Isabel. "So, you two have enough fun tonight?"

"Did you hear what she called me? I could have choked her."

Anakin kisses her on her forehead.

"It's okay, Honey, I still love you. Let it go. She being arrested. That's punishment enough." He looks at the business card. "Isabel, why don't you make some cool cards like this with a hot stripper name?"

She takes the card and hands it to her brother. Stefan smiles as he takes it.

"Anakin, if she starts handing out cards, you're in big trouble."

Isabel remembers her food order.

"My food is getting cold."

Stefan peeks in the bag she is carrying.

"You've got enough food for the Empire in there. How about sharing the grub seeing that I saved your hubby from a night in line up and a communal jail cell?"

Stefan, Anakin and Isabel sit at one of the outdoor tables Dex has set out for the summer crowd. Stefan feels good tonight. He finally gets the big bust he was trying to close for the past two months and he is enjoying the company of his younger sister and her husband. Anakin is actually a hero since he did aid in the bust…indirectly.

"Hey, Anakin, we need to set a date for that fishing trip."

"I'll take a rain check. I've got a lot going on right now."

He was going to continue using this excuse for as long as possible.

Back on Kashyyyk, the teens go to the local Galactic Multiplex to see the new summer blockbuster

'_Raiding Teenagers from Outer Space_,' the sequel to _'Revenge of the Teen Vixens from Outer Space'_ or ROTVFOS as it's better known to the 'true' fans. It was a dismal rainy day, so a film was the way to go. Luke and Mara try to find a seat far from their friends but it doesn't work. They are surrounded.

Kyp has recovered from being pranked during the summer and tosses popcorn at Leia and Winter. Valin and Callista share a bucket of popcorn and a large Rodia soda. She has sworn off alcohol since that embarrassing night at the house party.

Kyle is making out in the back with Sena and Rocca. Han, Chewbacca and Jar-Jar also sit in the back. Chewie scarfs down nachos and Jedi Mints while Han catches a nap for two and a half hours. He couldn't see what the critics were raving about. It was about a bunch of teens from a faraway planet looking for a 'lost' Ark and blowing up a space station. It didn't even look real!

Jar-Jar has a Super-duper Galactic Big Gulper drink. Some of the teens in the theatre turn in his direction every time he takes a big slurp. The sound is deafening. Leia is laughing her head off. The noise is funny but not enough to incite uncontrollably laughter. Luke sniffs. He smells something. He discreetly turns to look in the seat two rows behinds him. It is Leia.

One afternoon, while waiting for her father in his office, Leia gets bored. She is looking for a magazine to read or something. She opens Anakin's 'Top Secret' drawer and 'discovers' his treasure of Felucia Gold. She takes one but never uses it…until now. Leia has never laughed so hard in her life. She catches the popcorn Kyp is tossing at her. She has the munchies real bad. Winter doesn't react the same way. During one of the truly comic moments in the film she begins sobbing quietly in her seat. Leia looks over at her then giggles.

"Don't be sad, Winter, it gets better."

"This film is so depressing. The people on the Death Star won't have a home. They'll be like intergalactic homeless people."

"Yeah, so? No one survives. It'll be a happy day for everyone."

"Really? You're not just trying to make me feel better, are you?"

"No. It's true. Everyone gets vaporized. The girls' brother in this film is really hot too. I'd do him!"

"Yeah, he is hot. I kinda like the adventurer with the fedora and whip. He's really cute. I'd do him."

"Yeah. This film is cool! Hey, everybody, let's got out to dinner tonight. I'm not in the mood to cook."

Luke shouts back at her.

"Be quiet! You don't cook and you know it!"

A moviegoer on the other side of the theatre yells at them.

"Shut the hell up! Other people are trying to enjoy the film!"

After the film, the group enjoys one of their final meals at the Okikuti Grill. Their visits to the place are winding down. It is 'Family Night' and they are one dysfunctional family.

_To be continued…'Last call at the Okikuti Grill and Shower the Baby Sith with Gifts'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	78. Chapter78 Last Call At the Okikuti Grill

_Chapter 78_

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''_Last call at the Okikuti Grill'_

'_Summer According to Luke and the 12 Apostles'_

_Shower the Baby Sith with Gifts''_

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Packing is an arduous chore. The boys at Jedi House Bungalow 145 have spent the day loading their ships for the journey home. They leave their boards out to catch the last few days of decent waves they'll see for awhile. It's not all the lifting and packing that gets them down, but rather the reality that the summer was over and they would have to get to work on their various projects and apprenticeships. They won't get together like this again. It was a somber day. Not much is said all day.

Leia is packing up too. She had to be back for her own Junior Senatorial position before she loses it. And if she does not return in time she will need to go to University or get a real job. She was reassessing her options. Her father would pay for graduate school but she has to stay home. He did not want her partying on his credits.

She was happy being home. She had considered moving out at 21 but she is no longer in a hurry. She is closer to her father and Isabel than ever. She enjoys being the daughter. She would hang around until her father decides to push her out of the nest.

Leia heads upstairs to retrieve her luggage from the hall closet. She sees Kyp walking out of the shower. The only towel he has at the moment he uses to dry his hair. He forgets that Leia is still in the house. She takes one look at him then grins.

"So, look who it is,_ Little _Kyp and_ tiny_ Kyp. Not much has changed since you were 12."

"Listen, you weren't called 'Lei-a-Pancake' for nothing, sweetness."

"Yeah, I remember you cried for a week when I punched you for trying to cop a feel."

"So, are you going to miss me?"

"Of course. Who else will I taunt? How long will you be on Bakura?"

"Three months. I told my Jedi Student Advisor that I want to transfer often. So, we'll probably see one another."

"Sounds great."

"So, what are you doing up here? You are trespassing, you know."

"I've come to get my luggage out of the hall closet."

"Need any help?"

Leia grins.

"I don't think so. You're not exactly dressed for it,_ 'Lil' Bits.'_ Get your _'franks and beans' _covered up first. If I'm still up here by the time you're dressed, I'll consider your offer."

Kyp looks down. He has been holding a conversation with Leia and he is not wearing any clothes. He takes the towel he has been using to dry his hair and ties it around his waist. He turns red the returns to his room. Leia gets her luggage. Han calls upstairs to her.

"Leia, you need help? What's taking you so long?"

"Nothing! Relax, Captain Solo." She laughs to herself.

Leia and Han start their packing. They keep a few things out to tide them over for the next couple of days.

Kyle likes the challenge of getting everything done the very last minute. Actually, he just wanted to sleep late. He had been doing some heavy partying the last few days down the road at the bungalow belonging to the girls. Valin warned him that all that partying would catch up to him and bite him in his playboy Jedi butt. He was going to have lots of strange girls calling his house after this was over. His mother would eventually need to have their number changed. The 3:00am calls would get out of control.

Valin offers to take Callista home. This was good because she wanted to introduce him to her parents.

Mara, Sena and Rocca had their Pink Jedi Girl Cruiser packed and ready to go. The guys went over the day before to help. They ordered pizzas and Rodia soda. By this time, everyone swore off the alcohol after a summer of bad judgment calls and potentially scandalous situations.

Leia swore she would never take another hit of any Felucia Gold. After her 'laughing episode' in the multiplex, she had a headache for a week. Winter on the other hand was blissful and stopping strangers, and wishing everyone a _'nice day.'_ Leia wanted to slap her. The effects wore off after about the same time as Leia's headache did. Leia was back to her old charming self.

Luke decides to treat everyone to their last dinner on Kashyyyk. He makes a reservation. Jonni Faytonni brings along his camera. He wants this moment on record.

They arrive promptly at six o'clock. It was a table full of Jedi, and their friends, including a very friendly Gungan.

"Good evening young ladies and gentlemen…" He looks at Jar-Jar and finally says. "You must be the kid's guidance counselor. Welcome, sir."

Jar-Jar smiles back. He seems to like the sound of this.

"Meesa like being of help to theesa angelic Jedi teens."

"Well, isn't that special? You keep that dream alive. Someday it may come true."

Kyle whispers to Luke. "Did he just insult us?"

"Yeah, isn't he great?"

"Real nice, Skywalker."

Jonni blows a whistle. "Okay, Jedi and Jedettes…and everyone else…" He glances at Jar-Jar then continues to speak. "I'm going to read the specials to you. No interruptions until I am finished. Give me this one last joy before I die."

Jar-Jar looks sad for a moment. "Yousa gonna die?"

Kyp pats Jar-Jar on the shoulder. "It's just an expression. He's just going to miss us, Jar-Jar."

"Oh. Meesa understand now. Our waiter is a smartass with dry sense of humor."

Kyp chuckles. "That would be one way of putting it."

The waiter continues. "So, tonight's special is Shaak barbecued ribs, Dagobah green rice, and tossed salad…" He sees Mara's hand inching up. He stops for a moment. Everyone turns to Mara.

Kyp speaks to Mara. "Mara, you got a listening problem? That red hair dye you use fry your brain, Barbie?"

"For your 411, I'm a natural redhead, Kyp… _'Lil' Bits'"_

Kyp looks at Leia. He is furious. "You evil nexu, you told!"

"I didn't tell anyone…everyone heard. Shut up, Kyp."

Han looks around the table. "I didn't. Care to share, Leia?"

"I have nothing to say."

"Aho! She's got plenty to share, Han ol' boy!"

Luke shouts at everyone.

"Can we get over this? We're trying to order dinner here."

Leia gives Luke a dirty look. He Force-speaks to her. "Don't do it, Leia. I'll tell Dad you nicked one of his little 'prescript meds'…"

Leia releases her gaze then looks up at the waiter. "So, tell us about the menu…please." She twirls her hair.

Jonni gulps. "None of you is carrying a weapon…blasters…lightsabers…"

Luke smiles up at him.

"We're cool. Go ahead."

Jonni pats his brow with his handkerchief. we have a lovely Kachirho swordfish steak…" He sees Callista's hand going up. "What is it, Gidget?"

"I just want to know why it's steak if it's a fish…" Valin and the guys laugh out loud. Leia looks up at the waiter.

"Disregard that question. Some of us don't get out much."

Kyp looks over at Callista. "Where have you been, in a coma?"

"Yes."

"Oh, Oh, yeah…I remember now…sorry."

Leia scolds the guys. "You guys are so insensitive. She was sick for a long time. But, Callista, that question was inexcusable. Even a person in a coma knows not to ask that stupid question."

Jonni is losing patience. He finally blurts out, "If you sit still for a moment and listen, I will bring everyone free beverages all night…and dessert."

Suddenly he has their attention. Luke has a suggestion. "Jonni, why don't we do this, bring us all your specials and everyone will help themselves. We'll be here all night otherwise. This group has a short attention span."

"That would work. Thank you, Master Luke." He smiles. "I'll have the waitress bring your drinks." As he walks away he sighs. "Thank the maker for giving me the constitution to put up with this."

They are soon served dinner. Everyone is happy. Jar-Jar and Mara consume the most beverages. Rocca and Sena take turns feeding Kyle. Han asks for Corellian ale. Everyone turns to him.

"What? Just because you dopey kids can't hold your liquor doesn't mean I should suffer. Stop looking at me and drink your soda pop, kiddies."

There is laughing and good times as Luke, Leia and their friends recall the summer and enjoy a sumptuous meal. They top off the evening with a Tarfful Truffle ice cream dessert and cakes. Luke settles the bill and a generous tip for Jonnie and the waitresses who put up with them all summer long. The staff comes out to applaud Luke and his friends then return to their posts.

Jonni speaks to Luke for a moment.

"Master Luke, would you mind very much if I take a holograph of you and the rest of the group?"

"Does it have a timer?"

"Why yes, of course."

"Then I would like you to be part of the picture. If you would be so kinds as to make a copy for me and transfer it to my camera."

"What a splendid idea!"

Everyone gathers round the table. Thirteen people all together. When Jonni looks at the image he thinks of something. Han looks at the image too..

"That looks nice."

"You know, it reminds me of something I have seen in some art history books. There is a famous painting …a young man and his 12 Apostles. Strange similarity."

"This bunch, apostles?" He takes another look at the image in the camera. "...Now that you mention it…"

Before leaving the group says farewell to their favorite waiter on Kashyyyk. Mara kisses Jonni and gives him a warm embrace.

"Thank you Mr. Faytonni. I had a great summer dining experience."

"Call me Jonni. My dear, I have seen Jedi students come and go over the years, but I will never forget you and your friends. You have a nice trip home. Hope to see you next year."

"You might. I graduate next time round."

Winter embraces him. "Have a nice day."

"Okay…I will…tomorrow morning."

Leia is next. "Jonni, I love you. You remind me of someone I know at home. You have taken such good care of us. Thank you."

"Well, Thank you Mistress Leia. How nice."

"This is a little something from all of us. I hope you get a chance to wear it."

"Well, thank you. I have never received a gift from a customer before."

"Good night…Jonni."

"Good night, Mistress Leia."

After the kids leave the restaurant, Jonni open the box. He pulls out a t-shirt with the Jedi emblem emblazoned on the left pocket. On the back it reads:

'_I Survived Another Jedi Summer'_

Luke kisses Mara Goodbye. She hurries to her ship. Rocca and Sena are waiting.

Kyle is cramming all of his stuff in his cruiser. He was late as predicted. Kyp yells at him.

"Kyle, this is the last time I ride with you, man! We are going to be so late."

"Relax. We still have one free day before reporting for duty."

"No, Kyle, that was yesterday. We are officially late unless we check in tonight. We have to be on duty tomorrow."

"Well, let's get moving. What are you waiting for?"

Han and Leia decide to visit Chewie together on their last day. Leia sees her brother off. Luke smiles at his sister.

"Well Leia, It's been a real blast. We haven't spent a summer together like this since camp."

"We summered on Naboo."

"It's not the same thing. I don't regret it. I'm sort of glad you had that meltdown and crashed here. It made things really interesting."

"I love you, Luke."

"Love you too, Sis. Jar-Jar, you ready?"

"Meesa been ready, boss. Meesa waitin' for you to finish yousa sentimental moment with sister you see everyday 'cause you freeloaders too lazy to leave home any time soon."

"Alright, Jar-Jar. I got your point. Let's go."

Leia waves to Jar-Jar. "See you later, Jar-Jar."

"Bye-bye, meltdown fussy sister."

Luke laughs then boards the cruiser.

Leia and Han wave goodbye to Luke and Jar-Jar. They visit with Chewbacca and his family until late afternoon. Leia needs to get back to Coruscant for the baby shower. Isabel will be delightfully surprised.

She is hoping her father remembers what he has to do. She gives him the simplest of tasks. Keep Isabel out of the house until two o'clock. A moron can handle this task.

On his day off, Jonni takes a jog along the beach. All the Jedi teens are gone. He stops for a moment. Only a few families and business execs with their secretaries are scattered throughout. He smiles wistfully and breathes in the fresh sea air. He continues his jog wearing his new shirt and gold plasmaball cap.

_To be continued…'Gifts for a Youngling' 'Moods A-Swinging'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**


	79. Chapter79Shower the Little Sith wGifts

_Chapter 79_

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'_Shower the Baby Sith with Gifts'_

'_Dad, I Got Your Back!'_

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Luke drops off Jar-Jar at his apartment. There are 50 voice messages from the Emperor. The first fifteen are the ranting of a maniac.

"_Jar-Jar! You need to get back here immediately!" _

The next ten are a bit more _'diplomatic.'_

"_Jar-Jar, you bungling Gungan! Come back."_

The remaining calls sound like a crisis hotline caller:

"_Sometimes people don't understand me. But you truly get me, Jar-Jar…"_

"_Jar-Jar, Phone Home."_

Then there is a drunken Emperor singing along to a cd

"_It must have been cold there in my sith shadow,_

_Did you ever know that you're my heeeroe…?"_

The last three calls are just of an old man wailing

"_Whooohohoooooooooooo"_

Jar-Jar waits for a minute then presses the 'erase' button'

Back at the Skywalker home Isabel is preparing for the return of the twins. Anakin tells her there is no need to celebrate. She takes this the wrong way.

"What do you mean? Those children have been floundering all summer without us and without a decent meal."

"Bel, honey, trust me, they're fine. If they were in distress, Leia would have been home by week two."

"We should so something."

"Let's go for a walk."

"You hate walks."

"Let's go pick up our certificate from the Childbirth class."

"It's not ready yet. We have to attend the commencement."

"Isabel…it's not a real class. We can't use it to get a job. Let's call that cheerleader chick instructor and tell her we need to pick it up today. Come on, I'll even put your shoes on you."

"No…I'll wait for the twins."

Just then he sees Leia at the side door. She cannot believe they have not left the house yet. She points to the other door.

"Isabel, let's go out on the patio."

"Why?"

Leia Force-tosses a plant to the ground on the patio. Isabel goes out to see what's going on. Leia slips inside then hurries to the kitchen. The caterers are arriving at that very moment. Isabel tells Anakin not to worry about the plant. Anakin is still trying to get Isabel out of the house.

"Anakin, I thought I heard Leia come in."

"You didn't hear anything."

"Anakin, why are you acting so weird?"

"Oh, Isabel, I forgot to tell you something. The Emperor is on his way over."

"What?"

"It was a last minute thing."

"Well, maybe we should stay around…"

"He wants you to name the baby after him."

"Eww! Where's my purse? He must be crazy. Let's get out of here."

"Honey, you're a genius."

Anakin turns and gives Leia the 'thumbs-up' signal. Isabel pulls him out the door.

Luke arrives home. He sees the trays of food and takes some samples to his room.

Leia hears him. "Luke, you had better not touch that tray of food."

He has a mouthful of food.

"Uhm nauhght!"

"I know you are! Make yourself useful and answer the door."

Luke answers the door. It is Nakai and Ouisanne.

"Oh, Hello…come on in." He gives them both a warm hug.

"Hello, Luke. How was your summer?"

"Great. I had a blast. It's good to be back home. I missed everyone. Nana, you look beautiful as ever. Hey, Pop. "

Nakai looks around.

"Luke, you look good, son. Thanks for the postcard. You kids lucked out with the weather."

Ouisanne puts down her purse and takes the bag of gifts from her husband.

Luke, sweetheart, do you need me to do anything? Where is your sister?"

"I'm here, Nana." I missed you both. How are you?" Leia is happy to see them.

"We're good. Leia, you look beautiful. How was it spending the summer with your brother?"

"Dreamy." She mugs a face at Luke.

"Dear, let me help you. I'm not going to just sit around until two o'clock."

"Ok, We're setting up the presents in the day room. It's so pretty in there."

Luke and Nakai are 'sampling' the food and recommending other delectable treats on the table. The doorbell rings. Nakai gets the door. It is Lara and Blaise. They greet everyone then hand Leia their gifts. Obi-Wan and Aura arrive. Aura asks a question that stops everyone in their tracks.

"Where's the baby?"

Nakai and Luke look at one another. Nakai cannot resist.

"He's with his mother."

Aura answers in her Betty Boop voice.

"Oh, that's nice."

The caterers set up a table on the terrace just off the living room. The men will ultimately be banished there for the remainder of the afternoon. It's for their wellbeing as much as it is for the women. The males will not have to suffer through two hours of _"Awww…ooohhhhh….beautiful….lovely….that color is perfect on you_ and the ultimately 'icky' _"When I had my first child the doctor had to give me an episiotomy…I couldn't walk right for a week……"_

If the men had to listen to this during the women's party, they would promptly leap out of the nearest window to their demise. Anakin knows he sure would, childbirth class or not.

Obi-Wan, Luke Blaise and Nakai know their place immediately. They sit around on the terrace and chat. Obi-Wan pats Luke on his back.

"So tell me, young Luke, how was your summer holiday?"

"It was great, thanks, Obi-Wan. I had a really good time."

"I had an interesting chat with young Kyp." He told me a few things were lost during the summer?"

Nakai, although not graced with the power of the Force is quite intuitive in his own way. He catches on immediately, especially when he looks at Luke's face. He grins when he watches Luke grab Hors d'oeuvres and pops them in his mouth. Luke pockets the mound of food in his cheek. He is like a shaak in headlights. Nakai, who hates attending these family events, is suddenly thoroughly amused by his step-grandson's exploits. He whispers aside to Luke while Obi-Wan and Blaise chat about RHMOs

(Republic Health Management Organization).

"Luke, if you feel an ass-whipping coming on, you're always welcome to hide out at our house. Nana will spoil you rotten." Nakai pats Luke on the face then shakes his hand.

"Thanks, Pop"

"You took precautions, right?"

Luke blushes. "Yes, Pop. I did."

"Good. You're the man! Look at you; growing up before our eyes."

"A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do."

"Well, let's not go that far. Your dad's still going to kick your ass. Don't get cocky, kid."

"But you understand, Pop, don't you?"

"Of course I do…but you're not my son! Hahahaha!"

"Gee, thanks a lot…hand me to the 'boar-wolf.'"

"I won't hand you to him. He's going to find your skinny little ass on his own. You two kids crack me up."

Luke looks inside the living room door then returns to the terrace.

"So, are we stuck out here for the rest of the day?"

Blaise laughs with the other men. He winks at Luke.

"Luke, when you become older and cynical, you will appreciate being here. This is our refuge. Once those chicks start their squealing and opening gifts, you're going to want to hide out here for the rest of the night. Trust me."

"Well, what about my Dad? What are you guys doing for him?"

"Doing? We're here. We're moral support. We have a plasma on the wall, food and drink. We're going to watch some sports. He'll thank us."

"I got him a little gift."

Blaise smiles. "Awww isn't that sweet. Bless your little Jedi heart."

"You're making fun of me, aren't you?"

"No, you're a good son."

Obi-Wan goes inside and grabs a bottle from Anakin's liquor cabinet. He returns a happy man.

"This is going to be a great Baby shower."

Eventually the rest of the guests arrive. Mara arrives at the door with Han. She sees Luke on the terrace and waves to him. Han hands his gift to Leia. She points to the 'Men's Holding Area.' And closes the door once he is safely outside.

"What's this?"

Obi-Wan is sitting on one of the comfy terrace chairs. "Han, have some food and grab ale, you're going to be glad you're here."

"So where's the expectant couple?"

Downtown Coruscant – OoLala Day Spa

Anakin and Isabel are getting pedicures and facials. Isabel is finished and relaxes in one of the chairs as her toenails dry. Anakin initially fought tooth and nail going in but he found the treatment relaxing and it clears his head. He is listening to some new age music being piped in from the facial chair. He thought it was annoying when he first hears it but after a few minutes he is snoring like a Hoth Snow creature. The alarm on his watch beeps. Isabel looks over at him.

"Anakin, do you have to be someplace? Your alarm just sounded."

"Uhm…what?" He looks at his watch then panics. "Oh, crap! We have to go."

"But my toe nails…"

"Isabel, you haven't seen your feet for the past three months. I don't know why you even had them done."

"I just want them to look nice…before the baby. Your toenails sure needed a clipping. They were as long as a Krayt Dragons'. I could hear those things clicking on the refresher floor they were so long."

Anakin laughs. "Oh, be quiet. You exaggerate."

The aesthetician checks the facial mask on him. "Don't move just yet, Mr. Skywalker.

The beeper goes off again. "Listen, Melissa, or Tanya, this has been real cool and all but I have to get out of here. Come on, Bel." He pulls off the spa drape from his shoulders but his head is still in a towel turban and the mask has not yet been removed. Isabel giggles. "What?"

"You need to let them remove the facial mask."

"Oooh…how did I let you talk me into this?" He sits back in the chair as the attendant removes the mask then applies a moisturizer. He rips off the turban and hands it to the woman. Isabel gets help from a handsome masseuse who puts her shoes back on her feet."

"Isabel, you come back after the baby is born. I'll massage you back into shape in no time."

Anakin turns. He is signing the credit slip at the desk. He does not like what he has just heard. If anyone was going to do any 'massaging,' it is going to be 'Mr. Skywalker' not _Tony 'the Body' Adonis. _The nerve of this guy.

He hears Leia screaming. They argue.

"_Daddy, where the 'Hoth' are you?"_

"_I'm on my way."_

"_Do you know what time it is?"_

"_Yes, I do. Don't yell at me. I'm trying."_

"_Well try harder. A skurrier could handle this task! I can't trust you to do this one little thing"_

"_It's not my fault. Stop burning my ass! I'm on my way! Geez!"_

"_Don't forget Mom."_

"_I'm not stupid, Leia. Be nice to me today, okay?"_

"_Fine. I love you, Daddy."_

"_I love you too, sweet pea."_

"_Hurry up!"_

Anakin grabs Isabel by the arm then pushes _'Tony Adonis'_ aside.

"Outta my way, steroid king."

Isabel looks up at him. "What is your problem?"

"I forgot something. We have to go back home."

"I was going to go shopping. Want to pick me up later?"

"No! No. Come on. You need to rest your feet."

"But…"

"Isabel, Not today! Get in the car."

"They give nice massages; it would change your attitude."

"I like my attitude just fine. You had better not go back there for a massage. I can buy some muscle shirts. We can have massages in the privacy of our home."

"You need to go to school for that."

"Not the way I give them."

"Anakin…"

"What?"

"Never mind"

They arrive home a few minutes later. Leia is still in his head talking to him. He is snarling. Isabel is also arguing with him. He is getting female wrath overload. They arrive at the door.

"You do it, Bel and I will make you regret it!"

"You are so selfish and stubborn! You could have been nicer to him. He was just being professional."

"I didn't like his _'professionalism'_….he's not massaging a muscle on your bod…."

They are stunned when they realize they are not alone when a roomful of people yell, "Surprise!"

Isabel is shocked. Tears come to her eyes. Anakin is exhausted. Isabel kisses him.

"Anakin, you did this? For me?"

"Sort of. I guess I did."

Leia walks up to her father and hands him a drink. She kisses him them touches his face lovingly.

"Great job, Dad. Thanks. I think you need this. Oh, you face feels so soft. What did you do? Botox?"

Offended.

"I had a facial."

"You use to say only women and…"

"…I changed my mind. It wasn't bad at all. Where do I find a place to hide while you chicks scream and squeal for 2 hours?"

"Out on the terrace. Go…have fun."

Isabel's mother and Leia escort Isabel to her 'throne' rocking chair. Mara makes her wear a Youngling Bear Clan helmets adorn with flowers.

"This is so nice. Thank you. You made my poor husband drag me across town for this? How sweet."

Leia smiles. He wasn't supposed to keep you out so long. What did he say to get you out"

"He told me the Emperor was stopping by to ask us to name the baby after him."

"Ewww. You said 'No,' right?"

"Ha-ha…very funny."

"Okay, open your gifts and then we have to play a game."

"Oh-oh."

She begins to unwrap her gifts. They start out to be the typical shower gifts, blankets, platinum spoons, comb and brush sets, clothes…and then she gets the scanned items from 'demon crazy husband Anakin. The men brave the elements and gradually filter into the dayroom where the unveiling of the gifts is occurring. The huge box in the corner generates laughter.

"Anakin, if that's one of your scanning selections, it's going in your study. I have a feeling I know what it is."

"It's for the baby."

"That giant stuffed Ewok is not going in the nursery. It will frighten the baby."

"It's not scary."

Leia laughs. "You scanned it, you store it."

Isabel opens another gift. "Oh, a lightsaber."

"It belonged to Anakin when he was 9 years old. I found it one day looking for an old flask of mine last month."

"Thank you, Obi-Wan."

Anakin looks over at Obi-Wan. "What else of mine do you still have you crazy old man?"

Everyone laughs. Luke presents his gift.

"Isabel, congratulations."

"Thank you, Luke." She unwraps it. "Nice t-shirt, Luke, from 'Baby Kashyyyk Chic Boutique,' Oh, and a romper set with a baby wookie on the front, a bib set, oh, Luke, this is so sweet. I love it. Oh, a 'See and Growl Learn How to Speak Wookie Learning System.' How cute.

Anakin rolls his eyes then gives Luke his classic, _'I hope you don't expect your baby brother to start learning this nonsense,'_ look.

Ouisanne and Nakai give Anakin and Isabel handmade moccasins, a great number of baby clothes and a hand-carved canoe for use in the pool at the lake house on Naboo. The gifts are so numerous, Isabel needs help opening them. Leia, Mara and Lara help. Isabel receive a very special gift in a 'Little JediR Us' gift wrapped box. It is a collection of 'historic action figures.' One of the figures has a red tag on its' back. She smiles. "Thank you to my four friends for this."

She hears three distant _'You're welcomes' _and one from within the room. Aayla is the only one of the Force Ghosts who remains in the room for the unveiling of the gifts. The other three are on the terrace watching pod racing on the Plasma.

Ki-Adi-Mundi turns to Qui-Gon.

'_Did you tell Anakin to remove the red 1.99 credit tag off my action figure?'_

'_I told Mace to do it.'_

'_Oh, no you didn't. You said Aayla was handling all of them.'_

'_I said Aayla had her hands all over me. You need a hearing aid.'_

'_What? Qui-Gon, you are one trifling…I should kick your butt.'_

'_What, no profanity today, Mace?'_

'_Unlike you, I don't want the baby to pick up any bad habits.'_

'_He'll be just fine.'_

'_Hey, guys, what about the tag?'_

'_Ki-Adi, you should have taken care of that yourself. You're a lazy…#$#&. Damn! I promised I wouldn't do that.'_

Qui-Gon laughs.

'_This kid's going to have a mouth like a Sith.'_

Back inside the party room, Leia is about to begin the game. Luke gets a call from Valin. He steps to the cell t speak to him on the cell.

"What's up, Val? ...really? You're planning that already? Well, cha? I'd love to. It sounds great but I'm going to have to clear it with my dad. I'm sure he'll let me go…It's just that we just returned from Kashyyyk and then I have to tell him about this. He's going to want to hear a good reason. I'll call you back. Yeah, save a place for me. Okay…yeah…listen, we're in the middle of a family function here. I'll call you back. Okay. Bye."

Luke returns to the party. Leia needs three volunteers from the men's group. She immediately 'drafts' her father. She manages to get Nakai and Lara's husband Blaise. She makes them each wear big paper bibs. She has a bonnet for them but Anakin threatens her.

"Leia, if that hat touches one hair on my head, your trust fund is toast."

She hits him with it.

"Killjoy! Well, you have to be blindfolded. Got a problem with that? And don't you cheat!"

"Oww, Leia, not so tight." She purposely ties the blindfold tight.

Nakai is a good sport and knows he will be laughed at but he is so please to see his daughter is happy.

Blaise laughs because Anakin is the only one making a fuss.

The three men are seated on stools to resemble highchairs. The Force Ghosts hurry in to watch this.

Mara sets out unmarked jars of baby food and so the games begin. She is grinning. "This is too good to make up."

Isabel feeds Anakin. Mara and Leia fee the other two men.

Leia asks for their answers.

"Okay, 'Baby' number one. what did you taste?"

'Strained pera.. Bam! I was right! Who's the man?"

"Pop Nakai?

Nakai thinks for a moment.

"Shaak and carrots?"

"No, sorry."

"Doctor Blaise?"

"Shaak pot pie toddler meals…Yes!"

"Very good."

Anakin protests. "Wait, he should be disqualified because he's a doctor."

"What? Anakin, I don't have this in my office. My being a doctor has nothing to do with anything."

Leia pinches her father.

"Be quiet, you."

After several more rounds, Nakai finally gets Felucia mango and banana because he used to feed it to Isabel when she was a baby and liked it and green peas and carrots because she used to refuse it. Blaise gets another correct. Anakin is winning and boasting.

"I know all of these. You losers!" He really did know them because after the horrifying events on Mustafar, this is all he could manage after his feeding tube was removed. He could talk about it now because he is completely healed. Before the tube was removed he was afraid he might be hooked up to a machine for the rest of his life.

The game is soon over and Leia proclaims Anakin the 'winner.'

"Okay 'Empire's Biggest Baby,' you win."

Anakin high-fives his fellow contestants. "Now who's the Man? Whoo-ah. Hah! Allriight!" He tosses his blindfold aside and rips off the bib. "So, Leia, what's the prize…what do I win?"

"What are you talking about, Daddy?"

"I won the game, I get a prize."

"You don't get a prize. There is no prize. You guessed the most right."

"I guessed them all right. What are you talking about? Go get my prize. Don't play games."

Luke is trying not to laugh. "Dad, Dad, it was only a guessing game. That's it."

"Well, I'm going to get a prize around here today." He starts looking around the room. Han is grinning.

"Hey, Mr. 'S', what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to find my prize. Leia's playing with my head. I know it."

Luke waves Han over to the other side of the room. Everyone is heading over to see the nursery. Han is writing something then looks up at Luke who is carefully watching his father. Finally Luke walks over to his father and speaks.

"You know what Dad; I think you deserve a prize. What you did up in that _'highchair'_ was impressive. You should have a prize coming to you. Oh, they're taking Isabel up to see the nursery. Come on, let's go. Don't worry, Dad, I'm your biggest fan."

Luke gives his father a hearty slap on the back as they head upstairs. Anakin grabs a bottle of champagne given to him and Isabel by Blaise and Lara.

The room is in fact beautiful. There are a few stuffed toys around. Skippy sits dutifully beside the crib. An Ewok mobile hangs over the white crib. It is the very one he was snoring to in the Baby Boutique while his wife was yapping to the consultant.

The wall paper gets the most attention. There are beautiful images of tiny Youngling angels, all wearing their little Bear Clan Helmets and playing with tiny baby Ewoks. Each child represents every Youngling who 'perished' during the days of destruction by the Empire.

During his hospitalization 18 years ago, Anakin, without the knowledge of the Emperor asked one of the lowly orderlies to transmit a message to the Jedi Monastery.

During the quiet hours of the night, an unnamed Jedi Monk was spirited into Anakin's room. With the door closed, The gravely injured former Jedi confessed his sins to the cloaked monk and asked for absolution before he dies.

During the time of his infirmary, a secret trust was set up for the families of these young victims and a separate trust established in the name of each Youngling, providing a full sponsorship to the Jedi Order for any child requiring aid for travel and expenses to travel to the Academy. When Anakin recovered enough to return to 'work,' he had the first credits he made applied to the trusts. Anakin believed the Jedi would once again emerge as a mighty force to overthrow the Empire and bring peace.

A monument and both trusts were in the registry listing as being set up by an _'Anonymous'_ donor. The monument is located just outside the monastery. When the sun is high an ominous shadow is cast over the Imperial offices. Palpatine found this 'shadow' disturbing, which is the reason his drapes are typically closed for most of the day.

Anakin did not feel it was right to search for his children until he had made amends for his misdeeds, even if they were instigated by the Emperor. The young Jedi monk felt Anakin's anguish over these events. He spoke to the Friar some days after hearing the confession. They decided to secretly 'help' the former Jedi Knight. To this day, Anakin has no knowledge that this monk, now a priest, officiated at his wedding to Isabel.

Isabel is beaming as she touches the new furniture. The dresser is filled with all the items she wanted. Leia was truly pleased with her part in helping her father. Anakin can barely get through the door with the family and friends crowding inside. Leia makes sure everyone removes their shoes before entering.

Luke stands beside his father as everyone watches Isabel enjoy this special moment in her life.

The Force Ghosts leave the room and stand in the hall pointing to Anakin's back. Luke turns discreetly and smiles back at them. He then rests his head on his father's shoulder.

On Anakin's back there is a sheet of linen paper which reads:

'_The Galaxy's Biggest Baby'_

Han thought this sounded a lot better.

Luke had to speak to his father about something but it could wait. This was Isabel's moment. He was glad to have her back at the house after many years. It is where she belonged.

_To be continued…'Marital Woes' 'Moods Come Out A-Swinging'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	80. Chapter 80 Marital Woes

_Chapter 80_

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'_Marital Woes'_

'_Hurtful Things'_

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A day after the baby shower, Luke pokes his head inside his father's study.

"Hey, Dad, can I see you for a sec?"

"Make it quick. I've got a conference call in a few minutes."

"You're not going into the office?"

"I've got stuff to do at home. What's up? We haven't talked much since you came back."

"Well, I know I start at the Jedi Temple soon and I have my first assignment coming up with Master Halcyon…"

"Cut to the chase, Luke. I've got stuff to do."

"Well, Val got this great cabin on Hoth for a super deal and I was thinking, I could take some time off at the end of this season to go on a ski trip."

"No."

"No? What do you mean, 'No'?"

"You just came back from summer vacation. No."

"But it's during a slow week. The Jedi Council won't need me around. I'll just be in the way. Everyone is going."

"You mean, Val, Kyle , Kyp, the von tramp twins Sena and Rocca and Make-Out Barbie Mara? Yes, I know all about your scandalous 'Beach Banging Bingo' escapades on Kashyyyk. Don't play me for a fool, Luke."

"But Dad!"

"But 'Dad!' nothing. There's too much happening right now at home. Besides, you have to be prepared for your apprenticeship and your first mission. This is important, Luke."

"It's only for one week, Dad and then I will work straight through the season. I promise."

"You can go next year when the baby is older and we can go as a family. Halcyon made a grave mistake when he gave Valin his trust fund money for graduation. Now he's pissing it away. He kept Val behind at the Academy for a reason. You stay put. If your reviews are favorable after this semester, I'll let you freeze your butt off on the slopes then."

"Dad! That's a whole'nother year!"

"Year-Schmear, you're not going outside Coruscant unless I sign off on it."

"Is that your final answer?"

"That's my final answer. Well…go…there's no 'life line' here. Goodbye."

After moping through the house he goes to the kitchen. Isabel is a bundle of energy. She is preparing lunch

Luke asks Isabel to speak to his father on his behalf.

"Luke, I don't know. It's not exactly a good time. He is preoccupied right now. I'll see if I can work out a compromise for you. Where is Leia?"

"She went out. She had to get her new ID for her Senate internship."

Isabel's tone at this point is abrupt.

"Well, I hope she's back soon. I'm cooking for four I expect four people to be at the table."

Luke thinks he is losing his mind. _Did Isabel snap at him?_ She has always been so even-tempered.

An hour passes. No Leia. Anakin is still behind closed doors in his study. He drops his stylus when he hears something he did not expect. Isabel screaming. He rushes out of the study.

Luke is standing in the living room. Isabel is sitting. Anakin rushes over to her. He takes her hand.

"Bel, what's wrong? Luke, what did you do?"

"Nothing! I told her I was going to wash up for lunch and she lost it."

Anakin touches her face.

"Isabel, tell me what's going on."

"Don't touch me. Why is everyone staring at me."

Just then Leia walks in through the door.

"Ok, I'm home. Sorry for being late."

"What's with this family? No one is where they're supposed to be! Anakin, you've been in your study all morning. I made breakfast and no one showed up."

"Bel, it was bloody 4 o'clock in the morning!"

"Fine! Make up your own meal times. Somebody help me up!"

Luke helps her up from the sofa. Anakin rubs his head as she storms out of the room.

"Bel, come back. We're all here."

They go to the table. They wait for her.

Anakin gets a bottle of wine and pours himself two glasses. He always drinks two because Isabel cannot. He also surprises Luke and Leia by filling up their glasses.

"You may as well, you sex maniacs have been banging everything with a pulse."

Leia gasps. She almost laughs. "Daddy!"

"Luke, go find her and bring her back. We'll eat. She cooked enough for the Imperial Army."

"Dad, why don't you go get her?"

"Why me?"

"You're the one who needs to apologize for breakfast."

"You got her upset.."

"But Leia was late."

Anakin puts down his napkin the leaves the room. He finds Isabel on the bed flipping through a magazine.

"Your loyal subjects are awaiting your arrival."

"Is everyone there?"

"Yes."

"Good. Enjoy dinner."

"Bel…Fine. " He leaves the bedroom and returns to the table.

Leia looks at her father. They have started to serve themselves.

"Well?"

"'Sybil' will not be joining us."

Threepio pops out from behind the lemon tree plant on the patio. Artoo follows.

"She won't?"

Leia laughs. "Welcome back, coward. She got to you too?"

"I have never seen, Madame Isabel so out of sorts. She's not herself."

"No joke, Mr. Spock?"

Luke continues to eat his meal. "This is great. I think she does her best cooking when she's pissed off for no particular reason.

After lunch, everyone disappears to various corners of the house. Leia is on the phone with Han. Luke is in his room talking to Valin trying to get the date moved. For the ski trip but everything else is already booked four months in advance.

Isabel has slept through lunch. Anakin walks in and sits on the bed.

"What's going on, Bel?"

"Nothing. What's going on with you?"

"Listen, I'm sorry about ignoring you all morning but a lot is happening and I need to see it through. Things will be different. You'll see."

"Ok."

"You're, not angry?"

"No. I understand you can't discuss certain things with me. I won't pry. I trust you when you say things will be better." She flips through her magazine.

She remembers that Luke has asked her for a favor. She promised to speak on Luke's behalf. She does speak for Luke against her better judgment. Anakin lashes out at her.

Anakin has been having a bad week and he takes his anger and frustration out on Isabel. Things are not going well with a major project he is working on. He cannot talk to her about it because it is Imperial business and it could put his family in danger.

She apologizes to Luke for not being able to negotiate for him. After that brief confrontation with her husband, Isabel leaves the house.

Leia is angry with her father and urges him to go outside and find her to apologize. He is stubborn and dismisses the episode as a silly disagreement.

Anakin finally goes down to the parking bay to talk some sense into Isabel but this encounter just makes things worse. What starts out as reconciliation turns into an angry retort.

"Bel, come on upstairs. It's raining. You're being silly. You know you're overly-sensitive. It's the hormones. Yes, I was listening in the childbirth classes. Come back inside the house and get some rest. You'll be good as new by morning. We'll talk again when you're making sense.

"So, I'm crazy?"

"That's not what I meant." He reaches out to touch her. She pushes his hand away.

"Leave me alone right now. I can't stand to look at you right now."

"Fine. Is that how it's going to be? You'll be upstairs in five minutes when you realize how silly you're being.

Anakin waits for a moment but Isabel stands her ground. Anakin leaves believing she will follow directly behind him. After holding the elevator for a few minutes, it its obvious there is a battle of wills. He returns to the house until she gives in.

The children yell at him. Leia is furious.

"Daddy, how could you? You can be stubborn and mean sometimes."

Anakin scoffs at their protests. "Oh, please, she's just burning off steam. She'll be back in her any minute, believe me. She's not serious. Where is she going to go?"

Isabel sits inside the speeder. The passenger door is open. Obi-Wan drives by. He notices that she is upset.

"Isabel, why are you down here? It's Anakin, isn't it? Is there anything I can do?"

"No. I don't want him to be angry with you for talking to me."

"Why don't you go back inside? He'll buckle eventually. He can't stay angry with you forever."

"Obi-Wan, who are we fooling?"

"Talk to him. You know how to sway him."

"I don't feel like it. Thank you, Obi-Wan. I appreciate you caring about this but I can't be with him now." She leaves the speeder and walks to the end of the bay. Obi-Wan leaves his vehicle and walks over to her but, just as quickly, she hails an air taxi and leaves.

Obi-Wan shakes his head in frustration and mutters to himself.

"Anakin, you fool."

He goes up to the house. Luke answers the door. Luke knows without Obi-Wan uttering a word that Isabel is gone. Leia walks into the room. The children are furious with their father. They wait around hoping she will return. A few hours pass. Luke starts to leave the house. Anakin calls him.

"Luke, where are you going?"

"I'm going to find her. I know where she is."

"Sit down. You're not going anywhere. It's getting late."

Leia yells at him. "Daddy, this is all your fault. You go after her. Apologize!" She is fighting back tears.

Luke rubs his head then pleads to his father. "Dad, it's my fault she's gone. I should go after her."

"I said no. Go to your room."

During the taxi ride, tears stream down her face. She tries to dry her eyes but the tears still come. All she can hear are those words going around in her head.:

"_He's not your son!"_

_To be continued…'No Room at the Condo'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	81. Chapter 81 No Room at the Condo

_Chapter 81_

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'_No Room at the Condo'_

'_Walk it Off'_

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Isabel stands at the door of her parent's house. Nakai is angry and not surprised. He was wondering how long it would take for her to come running back home. It was just a matter of time before _'he' _would turn on her. Nakai's words came to fruition.

Anakin had made his daughter unhappy. It broke his heart to see her like this. His silence was more than she could take. It was saying, "I told you so."

Nakai could have been in the position to gloat but this was his daughter. She was already being punished. She was in a precarious state, alone, unhappy and very pregnant.

The rain was coming down hard now. Ouisanne thinks she should stay put, for now. Nakai and his wife go into the next room to discuss the matter. Their daughter decides to take a nap so she goes upstairs.

Isabel is in her old bedroom. It was comforting to be there again. The soft pink and ivory wallpaper with the little daisies made her recall her teenage years when she contemplated her future. She was headed for Coruscant University. She was granted early admission at the tender year of sixteen. The man she is now married to at that time was on his way to becoming a first-time father and his wife was a well-respected senator from Naboo. She had no idea, at sixteen; her life was about to change. In six years their paths would cross.

There is a knock on her door.

"Isabel, how are you feeling?"

"Depressed. Hand me that pillow, my back is killing me. The seats in those air taxis are the worse."

Her mother hands her the pillow that is lying on the window seat. She decides to have a chat with Isabel. She knows her daughter is not going to like what she is about to say.

"Isabel, your father and I had a long talk downstairs. We love you very much and we hope you don't take what I'm about to say the wrong way…"

"What ? That I married the wrong man? I made a mess of my life and I might be headed for a divorce soon? Fine. I could live with that. I know Daddy has been itching to say _'I told you so.' "_

"Isabel, listen to me… We believe it's time for you to go home."

"What?" She sits up in the bed.

"Go home to your husband."

Isabel is shocked by these words. She was expecting something entirely different. Her mother was as serious as a sith on fire. How could they suggest such a thing? She is their only daughter. Someone hurt her very badly. Why weren't they supporting her when she needed them most?

"Mom, I can't go back. I just can't be with him right now. I was thinking of moving back home...or maybe in the condo in town. I could fix up the extra room and turn it into a nursery." She rests her head on the pillow again.

"Honey, go home. Your father will drive you back but he's not going to interfere."

Isabel lifts her head from the pillow; her eyes wide with dismay. "Are you throwing me out?"

"In a word? Yes, we are. You can't run from your problems and you can't run from a life you have made for yourself. You need to talk to Anakin. You're both strong-willed people. Let go of your pride. Isabel, if this was any other situation, your father and I would take you in immediately. But you need to be with your husband now. I think you know why."

Earlier that evening, and shortly after Isabel's 'departure,' Yoda tells Anakin the same thing.

"Dark things befall you when you get this way. Have you learned nothing? Do you want to risk losing everything you worked for? A family you have now, Anakin. Embrace them, faults and all. You will cause unnecessary suffering if you continue down this dark path. Do you love her still?"

"That's a stupid question. Of course I love her. I miss her. The pain I'm feeling right now makes me love her more. She has to want to come back to me."

"Listening more you said in your wedding speech. Were those words empty of meaning or were they said with a pure heart?"

Luke overhears Yoda lecturing to his father. He is still feeling guilty for causing so much stress but he is angry with his father for being so stubborn. Leia is angry with all of them. She is furious with Anakin…being Anakin. Luke for whining about his frivolous issues and getting Isabel involved instead of dealing with his father on his own. She is angry with Isabel for not standing up to Anakin and then running away. It was so uncharacteristic of Isabel to behave so irrationally.

Han stops by the house. Leia answers the door. Anakin gives Han a look as if to ask why he is there so late. Leia points her finger at her father.

"Listen, Mister, don't you dare open your mouth. Why don't you get in that speeder and look for your wife?"

"You're treading on thin ice, young lady."

"Well, you know what, Daddy; I'm going tread on out of here, just like Isabel. She probably got fed up with your incessant whining. And you know what else? She's right. You are selfish. Whenever you don't get your way you start pouting about how unfair the galaxy is to you. No one can ever disagree with you. You're a big bully. So there! Come on, Han, let's get out of here."

Han is feeling a bit awkward right now. He holds open the door for Leia. Anakin is seething. Han shrugs and smiles sheepishly. "What a girl. She's got spunk, just like her old man. I hope you find your wife. You might start by calling all the divorce lawyers in Coruscant."

He quickly ducks out the door before Anakin takes out his anger on him with a hand to the throat..

Luke returns to his room. Anakin is in the living room alone after Yoda leaves. For good measure, Yoda whacks him on the head before exiting.

Anakin looks out over the balcony. He can think of nothing but Isabel right now. He knew he was harsh with her. He wanted to make things right but he was too proud to admit he was wrong.

Back at the Nor home, Isabel's parent's thought long and hard about their decision. This is why it broke their hearts to be brutally honest with her. They never thought they would ever say this about their beautiful and sweet daughter but she needed some 'tough love.' Isabel still could not believe her parents were throwing her out of the house. She was so hurt by this 'betrayal' she flat out refuses a ride home by her father and hails a taxi.

Instead of going straight home, she decides to seek refuge at Lara's house, her mentor and friend.

Lara and her husband take her in. Isabel paces the floor of their living room fuming about how insensitive her parents were to abandon her. She tells them how she is fed up with Anakin. She begins to cry in Blaise's arms. He looks over at his wife and shrugs.

Lara goes into the next room and calls Anakin. She whispers even though she is behind closed doors.

"Now, you listen to me, Anakin. You need to come get your wife. She is not going to stay here. She needs you."

"She doesn't need me. When she's ready to apologize, we'll talk."

"You are the two most stubborn people I know. Anakin, come get your wife or we're going to be forced to drop her off at your front door. At the rate she's going, we'll be up all night. I have meetings tomorrow. She's wired. Come get her."

"Send her home."

A few minutes later, after Blaise takes her into the kitchen to get something to eat, Lara walks in. Isabel is sitting at the breakfast table waiting for Blaise to heat up some soup for her.

"Hey, pregnant woman, let's go."

"But Blaise was heating up some soup for me. I'm starving."

"Eat at home where you belong. Come on. Hop to. The rain is easing up."

"I thought you were my friends."

"We are, that's why we're taking you home."

"Can't I just have some soup?"

"No. It's not that good. Come on."

"But I'm cold."

"Here, put this on." Lara hands her one of Blaise's golf sweaters.

Lara and Blaise drive her home. They give her a hug and wait for her to go inside. She pretends to head for the door and waves for them to leave. After they take off, she starts to turn away from the house. She does not want to confront Anakin. Rain starts to fall harder now. She is getting wet. She knows she must go inside now. She walks up to the door. There was something surreal about this moment. She was standing at this same door when Anakin found out she was pregnant.

As she fumbles for her key the door swings open. Anakin stands before her. He is still angry but is relieved to see her.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"Your hair is wet. Why were you out there so long? Never mind. I'm glad to see you. Let me dry your hair."

He grabs a towel from the guest refresher just around the foyer. He dries her off.

"There, you look better. Isabel, we need to talk. I know we said things…I said things…"

"Whatever. I'm starving. Mind if I get some thing to eat? I know how you love to lecture and drone on about crap."

"Sure." He wags his finger at her. "I don't drone."

She walks into the kitchen. She searches the refrigerator and pulls out some bantha cheese, yogurt, and a pie. Anakin sits at the breakfast table. Isabel can see him from the counter as she decides what to eat..

"So what do you want to say? I know you're just burning up to gloat."

"No. I'm over it. You're home; you've learned your lesson."

"And what is that? I've done nothing wrong."

"Isabel, I don't want to fight with you. This house has been in turmoil all day. Luke and Leia were worried sick about you. No one has been able to sleep. It was thoughtless of you to walk out the way you did. No one knew where you were."

Isabel can't believe she has to listen to this. She leans on the counter resting her head on her hands. She is tired and hasn't eaten all day. Now Anakin was droning on about how her 'running away from home' traumatized everyone. She shifts her weight of her legs. _'When will he ever stop talking?'_ She thinks to herself. Finally Anakin says something that finally sounds conciliatory.

"Isabel, It's late. I don't want us to be like this. What can I do? Tell me. I want to be a better husband. Is there anything you want me to do for you?"

"Take me to the hospital…I think my water broke."

What she says takes a moment for Anakin to process. Suddenly he stands and walks over to the counter. She is using the counter as a support as an intense spasm of pain cruises through her body. She was right, her water has broken. He would get Threepio to mop up later.

"Bel, sit down."

"I've got to take a shower."

"A shower? I thought you wanted to go to the hospital?"

"I do. After I take a shower."

"Let's go." He tries to grab her arm. She shoves him out of the way."

"No! I have to take a shower first." She heads for the bedroom. Anakin is nervous but tries to appear calm. He takes her hand and walks her out of the kitchen. Isabel finds this annoying.

"Get away from me, I can walk."

He stays with her as she takes a shower. She is irritable and finds his hanging around bothersome but she knows he is trying. She gets dressed then sits on the bed as he helps her with her shoes. He smiles up at her sweetly.

"See, you need me after all. I'm good for something, especially since you can't see your feet."

"Thank you." She calms down a bit. The anger they felt earlier has dissipated. This is Anakin's first time being present for the birth of one of his children. She realizes this is a very important and special moment for him. He touches her belly.

"This is it. Wow. It's really happening. Are you nervous?"

"Uhuh. Get my overnight bag. It's in the closet."

"Ok."

'It's got my papers. We have to give them to the admissions nurse."

"I heard you, the first time, Isabel. Relax!"

He goes to retrieve the bag. When he turns to her again she is lying on the bed.

"Bel, you can't go to sleep now. We have to go."

"Just let me rest here for a second."

"Oh, no you don't. I'll carry you out if I have to but you can't stay like this."

"Ok. Don't drop me."

"Isabel, do you remember who you're married to?"

"Oh, right."

Anakin grabs the bag and scoops her up. They head for the living room. Artoo and Threepio watch as Anakin is about to leave the house.

"Master Ani, is Miss Isabel alright?"

"She's fine, Threepio, we're having a baby."

"Well, I'm aware of that, sir but…"

"Now, Threepio."

C3PO is shocked. He places his hands to his mouth and turns bewildered then looks down at Artoo.

"Oh, Goodness gracious me! Artoo, the new Skywalker baby is coming!"

Artoo beeps cheerfully and whirls around. Suddenly he chirps something to Threepio which causes him to panic. Anakin smiles and shakes his head at the two droids. Skippy wants to follow Anakin.

"No, Skip, you stay here. We need you to guard the baby's room. Okay? Good boy."

Luke wakes up and walks into the living room. He rubs his face. He is glad to see Isabel. He realizes what is happening.

"Dad? Isabel, you're back. Ooh."

"Luke, we're heading off."

"Wait, I'll go with you."

"Luke, I need you here. Tell your sister she was right about me. I am an idiot."

"But, Dad, I want to be there."

"It could be awhile before anything happens. I need you to stay around and call the family."

"I'll do it on the way."

"Fine. You can follow in your speeder."

"Dad, you're going to need a bigger car when the baby comes. Right, Isabel?"

"He can keep his speeder but he will need a child friendly vehicle. Anakin, we should go."

"Luke, make sure everything is in order before you leave."

"Okay, Dad. Mom, give a push in the delivery room for me."

Luke gets dressed then calls Leia. He is about to head out the door. Threepio is concerned.

"Master Luke, Is there anything Artoo or I can do in the meantime?"

"Gee, I don't know, Threepio…boil some water."

"Oh, yes. That is what's usually done in these cases. Luke leaves. He goes to his speeder then hears Threepio screaming from inside the house.

"We need boiling water! Please! Everyone in their positions." He is almost in tears. "I don't know anything about birthing no sith babies! Oh, Lordy Vader, what'll I do?"

Artoo giggles.

Luke calls Leia on his mobile.

"Leia, guess what?"

"What?"

"Isabel went to the hospital."

"I know. How is dad holding up?"

"Pretty good. He wasn't yelling, he was real calm. Leia, Dad's going to kill you later."

"Hey, he's going to be too busy going crazy in the delivery room."

"You had better come home."

"Why are you calling me from your speeder?"

"Uhm…I'm going to the hospital."

"What? Dad's letting you go and didn't ask me?"

"I was the good son and stayed home with my Dad. You were the bad daughter and left the house in the night with your older than dirt, boyfriend."

"Oh don't be so smug you little ass kisser. Anyway, Han and I just went to the movies. We're going to meet you at the hospital."

Meanwhile, Anakin is almost at the hospital but he and Isabel are arguing.

"If you hadn't left the house, we wouldn't be rushing like this."

"Anakin, you know what? Just drop me off and go back home. I don't want you there."

"Don't say that. I'm still angry with you but I want to be there when my son is born."

"Well then act like an adult."

"You better nor give birth in this car. I just had it shampooed."

They finally arrive in the emergency room. The check-in nurse makes them fill out data cards. Isabel can barely focus; she is in the middle of another contraction. Anakin becomes impatient. He yells at the nurses.

"Listen, my wife is in labor, she doesn't have time to fill out some stupid data cards."

A stocky no-nonsense nurse walks up to him. Her arms are folded across her chest. "Are you in labor?"

"Of course not."

"Ok, _'Mr. Smarty,'_ make yourself useful." She grabs the cards from Isabel and slides them over in front of Anakin. He wants to belt the woman. He grumbles then complies.

An attendant takes Isabel up to the maternity ward. Anakin still has the overnight bag. It is on the floor at his feet.

Anakin was stuck in admissions filling out forms he didn't know the answers to. What in hell did he know about episiotomy and epidur….crap! All these damned _'epi'_ words. Probably a bunch of doctor voodoo language for stuff that didn't concern him. He put on his Epod when they were discussing that topic in class. So Anakin did what any self-respecting Sith Lord would do with a questionnaire like this: If the question was too stupid to answer, he checked off _"NO."_

Every question Anakin read sounded too ridiculous to answer. After every few questions, Anakin would sneak a look to see if Nurse 'Ratched' is watching him. She is. She gives him an evil stare. But Anakin was just paranoid right now; he thought everyone was giving him an 'evil' stare.

'_Witch.'_ Anakin hands her the form. It was complete as far as he was concerned. 'Nurse Ratched' takes the forms from him. She rolls her eyes when she reads his answers. All he wanted to do was to be with his wife and they took up his time with this bureaucratic bantha crap. At the bottom of the form there is a line of fine print:

'_Approved by the Imperial office of the Department of Health and Human Services'_

He hurries up to the maternity ward; the overnight bag in-hand

The nurses on this floor seem to be a lot nicer. There are human nurses as well as medic droids. Anakin was relieved that Isabel's obstetrician is a human. He was somewhat bothered, however that the doctor was young and handsome and seemed just too happy to be examining her. Anakin did not like the way the doctor smiled when he put on those sterile examination gloves.

Anakin didn't like this at all. He was actually jealous! But this creep was preparing to look at his wife! Where are the medic droids when you need one? If Anakin could choke someone right night, _'Doctor Young and Smooth'_ would be the first one tonight followed by that mean military nurse downstairs.

Now he is reunited with his wife but has to endure another indignity: Helplessly watching his wife being poked and prodded by the 'Dr. Doug Ross' clone.

This quack is 'checking out' his wife! Isabel never mentioned him to her. She was seeing this guy every month. The truth is, Anakin had already met her doctors. Anakin was still a bit skittish being around doctors and hospitals since the events on Mustafar. He never cared to watch medical procedures. He would reluctantly accompany Isabel during a few of her doctor visits but he would high-tail it out of the room when it came time for the real examination. Was this the same guy? He wasn't dressed in scrubs when Anakin saw him last.

"Five centimeters"

The doctor finishes the examination. Anakin felt more violated than Isabel.

"What?"

Both Anakin and Isabel shout this in unison, however, each for very different reasons. Anakin, because he thought they were making a remark about his manhood. And Isabel was alarmed because, at five centimetersdilated, she was going to be in for a rough night. It wasn't evenmidnightand nothing was happening but she was in a lot of pain. She could barely take the initial contractions. Now she was in for several hours of excruciating pain. Anakin still had trouble listening, especially when it didn't cause him any physical pain. Yoda still had some work to do on this former Jedi.

An hour later Luke and Leia finally arrive at the hospital. Han follows. They encounter the infamous 'Nurse Ratched.' Luke was annoyed because he could have avoided the old crow and the onslaught of questions had he continued on behind his father. He decided to be a good brother and wait for Leia and Han after they left the holoplex. The nurse tells him that only family is permitted upstairs.

The desk clerk also informs them that only family is permitted upstairs. Leia tells the attendant at the desk that Han is the twins' older brother. The attendant is hesitant at first but lets them pass. They hurry to the elevator. Han and Leia are in a hot and heavy lip lock. Luke rolls his eyes and waves as the elevator door closes. The desk attendant sees this. She mutters to herself _'Freaky family.'_

They arrive in the family waiting area. There is a buffet table filled with food.

Han is amazed. "Wow, look at this spread. Sweet. This is for us?"

"Yeah, It's our private lounge."

"So, while Isabel is in there squeezing out your little sibling, you guys are out here scarfing down buffet sandwiches and whooping it up?"

"Why not?"

Back in Isabel's room, Anakin massages her back. She waves him away.

"No more. It's not helping."

"You want to walk around? Come on, walk it off." He laughs. She doesn't see the humor in his remark.

"Anakin, Leave me alone for a few minutes. I think I can concentrate better on my own."

Anakin does not want to leave but one of the floor nurses suggests he leave the room for a few minutes. He goes to the family waiting area. The children and Han are there. Leia hugs her father.

"Daddy? Why are you in here? Shouldn't you be with Isabel?"

"She doesn't want me there. She says I'm a distraction."

"Oh-oh, what did you do?"

"Nothing. So, where were you this evening?"

"We went to the holoplex."

"You broke curfew."

"Oh, please, Daddy, we would have been out anyway."

"You had better behave if you want to hang around here all night."

"What are we, wild urchins? We know how to behave."

"What's the occasion, Mr. Solo? No Kessel run this week?"

"No sir. I thought I would stick around for moral support."

"Moral?"

"Ha-ha, you're a jokester tonight. So, you're going to have another kid running around the Skywalker home. You trying to collect the whole set?"

"I'm going to leave now before I lose my temper. This is going to be a joyous day for me. You will not ruin it for me. Leia, no hanky panky in here. I mean it."

"Yes, Daddy."

He grabs something to eat.

Anakin returns to be with Isabel. She is sucking on some ice chips. She sees Anakin chewing something."

"What are you eating?"

"Nuthin."

"Don't lie to me. You're eating. God, I'm starving."

"Sorry, I'm not supposed give you anything"

"Then it's rude to eat in front of me."

"I'm sorry. Why don't you try walking around? You might feel better."

"Maybe I'm not ready yet. Let's go home. We can return tomorrow." She starts to move then lays her head back on the pillow. "Uhm, I feel terrible"

Several hours pass. It is almost six o'clock in the morning. Isabel is in the throes of labor._ "Dr. Handsome" _returns. Anakin is pissed. What's this clown getting paid for? His wife is in agony and Dr. Ross is hanging around the nurses' station. The nurse lets Isabel take a shower. Anakin stays with her. She is crying as he holds her. She feels better for about five minutes when the contractions grow closer together. Luke leaves the waiting area to talk to his father. Anakin meets him at the door.

"How is she?"

"It's almost time, Luke. It's just not easy for her."

"Have you called her parents?"

"Should I?"

"They'll want to know."

"I'll call them."

At about 6:15 that morning Isabel is absolutely miserable.

The nurse walks in and examines Isabel. "Ok, Mrs. Skywalker, You're fully dilated, the baby's head is in place. Are you in the mood for some pushing?"

Anakin looks at the nurse as if she is insane. He thinks to himself _'How about we push you out this window, Missy Cheerleader.' _

"Mr. Skywalker, why don't you support her back? Isabel, you're going to have to sit up. You're going to breathe and push."

"I can't. I'm too tired."

"Well you'll have to."

Finally, _'Doctor Suave and handsome'_ saunters in with that wide salesman's grin.

"Good morning, everybody. How's our favorite girl today? Get any sleep during the night?"

"No."

"Well, You'll get plenty of rest later. We just need you to do a little work for us."

"I don't want to work. I just want to go home. Anakin, Please.."

"Bel, the baby is almost here. You can't sleep now."

Anakin sees she is exhausted and sobbing. He blots her face with a wet towel. She has to go through several repetitions of breathing and pushing. The window drapes facing the family waiting area is closed. Leia is annoyed about not being allowed in the room. The twins and Han have been taking little naps throughout the night. They can hear their father on the other side of the window coaching her. Anakin was finally coming through. Isabel was wondering if he even listened in their birthing class. He had been.

'_Doctor Doug' _was sitting in a rolling seat at the foot of the birthing bed. "Isabel, give us one more big push and it will all be over, I promise you..."

"I can't. No more. Please."

"One more. No rest for you yet."

Anakin interrupts.

"Can't you let her have a break?"

Isabel's doctor stands firm. He is serious.

"No. Isabel. Now."

Isabel strains to push. Anakin keeps pressure on her back. Her legs begin to quiver. She lets out a grunts and cry. Suddenly she feels something slip out of her body. It was nothing like the '_toaster waffle' _Anakin was joking about a month earlier. The doctor calls Anakin over. Anakin is speechless.

"Oh, my…"

"Well 'Dad,' Care to cut the cord on your son?"

"Yes. Yes. Oh, He's beautiful..Isabel, look. Can I hold him?"

The nurse smiles and shows him how to lift the newborn.

"Of course you can. Lift him into your arms like so."

"I'm afraid.."

"He's just a baby. You can do it., Mr. Skywalker." Anakin cradles the newborn in his arms. He forgets about the all the 'disgusting stuff' he saw in the birthing holovid. The baby cries for a moment then looks into Anakin's eyes. The nurse helps him wrap the infant in a sterile blanket to keep him warm. He shows Isabel. He kisses her."

"Bel you did a great job. He's amazing."

"Hello." She touches the baby for a few minutes. She has another contraction for the afterbirth. The nurse tells Anakin to take the baby from Isabel so the doctor can clean her up. Anakin is standing in the room looking at the baby. Suddenly a feeling of dread befalls him. He hears the doctor calling for another assistant. Someone is repeating Isabel's name. The twins go to the window. A second nurse makes certain the drapes are closed.

The doctor injects something in her IV line. Anakin turns. He is horrified. As he walks to her bedside. He is in a panic.

"Isabel! Isabel! Don't you do this. Wake up! Honey, I'll do anything for you. Just don't leave us."

Anakin begins to feel dread. Tears roil down his face. This can't be happening to him twice. The nurse is speaking to him. He is still holding the baby and pacing the floor. The staff is afraid he is going to faint. The doctor shouts over to him. "Anakin! We can't have you in here if you can't keep it together. You hear me?"

The nurse tries to take the baby.

"Mr. Skywalker, hand me the baby."

Suddenly he hears a voice. It is Mace.

'_Anakin, Hold on. Stay focused. Hold your son.'_

Suddenly the doctor calls to Anakin. "She'll be fine. She lost some blood and she's a little weak but she's fine."

Gradually Isabel comes to. She opens her eyes and looks over at Anakin. He sits on the bed with her. He places the baby on her stomach. She smiles and touches Anakin's face.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Everything is fine. The baby is fine. He's perfect. You are perfect."

"Go to Luke and Leia, they're waiting for you."

Anakin takes the baby and walks to the glass window facing the family visiting area.

One of the nurses opens the curtain. Anakin sees his two eldest children looking in from the other side. Leia touches her hand to her mouth and smiles. Tears roll down her face as she gets the first look at her father holding her new baby brother. Luke sheds a few tears as well. Han remains far in the back of the waiting area. He is very happy for his friends. This is a family moment right now.

Anakin has never looked as peaceful as he is right this moment. He finally gets to hold his newborn son. This feeling is so amazing, it seems to make up for the firm time he missed holding his newborn twins. The Force is strong with this one Yoda would ultimately say on his first visit with the new Skywalker.

The twins touch the glass then wave to Isabel who is resting in her hospital bed. A few minutes later, Anakin calls Mr. and Mrs. Nor to tell them that they have a new grandson:

_Li-An Jinn Skywalker_

_8 lbs 3ozs._

_Born 07:03am_

_Coruscant University Hospital_

Anakin feels like a king today. The little angel in his arms with a full head of blond hair was finally here. Another kid he would need to yell at to get a haircut. His beautiful wife is resting comfortably now. He owed so much to her. He felt no anger towards her from their fight the day before. From now on she would have a _'Kick Ani's Ass-for-free' _card. Li-An is sleeping peacefully.

The birthing plan is still folded up in her overnight bag.

The nurse helps Anakin dress the baby. He never had much practice with diapers because he never got the chance with the twins. He is nervous but he manages to get the job done. The nurse was very patient with him.

The four Force Ghosts stand at the window. They are all waving and speaking gibberish to the baby. Qui-Gon is beaming.

'_Look at this kid. He's a winner. My little namesake.'_

Ki-Adi Mundi rolls his eyes. _'We're never going to hear the end of this.'_

_To be continued…'Baby Skywalker…And Now We Are Three'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	82. Chapter 82 And Now We Are Three

_Chapter 82_

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'_Baby Skywalker…And Now We Are Three'_

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The Morning is beautiful. The rain has finally stopped from the night before. The sun fills the room. Isabel, Anakin and tiny Li-An are finally sleeping.

After that long night, Isabel is exhausted and goes into a deep sleep for a couple of hours. Anakin felt a new burst of energy coming on as he posed for holographs with his three children shortly after the birth. He was so happy this morning; he even invited Han to join the family in some of the group pics.

Luke and Leia took turns holding their new brother and rocking him. Anakin is exhausted and tries to gets some much needed sleep but the excitement of the baby's arrival keeps him awake.

He keeps looking across the room in the bassinet to see if the _'little one'_ he is really there. He decides to take the baby. The two are sleeping in the wide chaise beside Isabel's bed. Li-An is securely cradled in his father's arms.

The twins are still in the private family room asleep but just barely. Luke gets up shortly before 10 o'clock and tiptoes into Isabel's room. Anakin wakes up as Luke takes the baby from him and sits in a chair across from his father. Luke is cradling Li-An as Qui-Gon reappears and watches pensively over his shoulder.

Around the same time, the calls and flowers begin to pouring in. From Bespin to Yavin, messages of congratulations were coming. The nurses' station was being bombarded with flowers and gifts.

Back at the house, the news generates the same response. Artoo whirls around cheering. He scans the house to make sure it was totally baby-proofed lest anything was missed. Skippy remains close to his station in the nursery. He keeps looking at the crib wondering when it will be filled. Threepio is watching the pot boil. Artoo passes by and giggles. He tells Threepio that he can stop watching.

The birthing instructor got news of the birth and immediately rushes up to Maternity and hand-delivers the framed certificate to Anakin and Isabel. Anakin was genuinely proud of this. He was just disappointed that they would not be able to attend their 'graduation.' He thanks her on behalf of Li-An and Isabel who is still sleeping.

Poor Isabel. Anakin noticed she only spent a few minutes with the baby then just as quickly drifts off to sleep. The birthing process compounded by lack of sleep, lack of food and a less than supportive husband drained her physically as well as emotionally. She was out cold.

Gladys stops by the house with her husband to help Threepio handle any visitors and to take in deliveries. She was pleased to do it. Beru and Owen heard the news first thing. They send a message that they will be up to visit as soon as the harvest is complete. Anakin rolls his eyes when he reads this. 'There's not that much _'harvesting'_ in the galaxy! Every season they're harvesting! Owen can't possibly be that busy…the knucklehead.

Anakin transmits a live message to Jedi Council. Li-An is immediately registered into the Jedi database. The Council was awaiting the birth. A space had already been reserved for him; there just wasn't a name…until now. Master Adi Gallia was somewhat amused when she heard about Anakin's tribute to Qui-Gon. It was good to see the name _'Jinn'_ in the active Archives once again. Anakin tries to get in a few minutes of sleep. He was too wound up for anything more.

Han is in the family room on one of the long sofas sleeping. Leia quietly steps into the room to join her brothers. She and Luke are speaking in whispers.

"Luke, let me have him now. It's my turn."

"Wait. He's sleeping, You might wake him."

"He's doesn't do anything but sleep. Give him to me."

Anakin opens his eyes and watches the twins fighting over the baby. He whispers but firmly. "Don't make me kick you both out of here. Luke, give your sister the baby."

Luke gets up from the chair. He will not hand over the infant until she sits. "Thank you, Luke." Her voice is saccharine sweet as she takes the infant.

"Be careful with him. He's the only brother I have."

"Luke, relax. He's my brother too. He's so cute. I can't wait to dress him up."

"In your dopey doll clothes? Oh no, Dad?"

"Let her try."

He looks up to see the orderlies heading for their room to deliver flowers and gifts.

Li-An is getting enough stuffed Ewoks to form a toy Ewok colony. There were Ewoks in the floral arrangements, Ewoks in gift baskets, even an Ewok in a baby carrier. The baby carrier reminded him that he had to pick up the new YUV (Youngling Utility Vehicle) at the Metellos Dealership. The hospital will not release Li-An unless Anakin had an appropriate mode of transportation. Anakin and Isabel will eventually donate most of the Ewoks to the children's wing of the hospital. The flowers will be sent to the ICU.

Qui-Gon is growing impatient.

'_He's been here three hours and he hasn't done anything yet.'_

Leia looks at the honored Force-Ghost. "He's a baby. What do you want him to do, tell a joke?"

'_Jokes are good.'_

Just as they say this, The Jedi Neo-Youngling physician arrives to examine the baby. Anakin gets up to greet him.

"Good Morning, everyone. Congratulations are in order." He sees the Force-Ghost of Qui-Gon and nods with an air of reverence. Anakin smiles.

"Good morning, Doctor."

Leia brings the baby to him. She nods with a sweet smile. He takes the infant and holds him then kisses his forehead.

"I am here a day early but , since this is such a special event, I thought I would stop by to see our littlest Jedi. He's in perfect health, and has a great pair of vocal cords."

Everyone stands around puzzled because the baby has been asleep for the past two hours. Suddenly they see his tiny feet flinch. Suddenly, out of this tiny being comes a cry that finally wakes up Isabel. Anakin is a bit unnerved by this. The doctor hands the baby over to Anakin.

"What happened?"

"Just a brief exam. He's fine. Don't let the crying alarm you."

Qui-Gon finds this unacceptable.

'_Hey! He's getting his 'sleep-on.' Why did you do that?'_

The Jedi physician quips, "It builds character. He's had an entire 9 months to sleep; time for him to wake up."

Qui-Gon looking pissed off,_ 'What kind of a baby doctor are you? Quack!'_

Luke and Leia giggle. Isabel manages to sit up in bed. She is fully awake now. Anakin brings the baby over to her. He greets her with a gentle kiss.

"Hey, lady, how are you feeling?"

"Better, thanks." She takes the baby who is still crying. "Oh, sweetie, what happened?"

Her voice seems to have a soothing effect because he immediately calms down and begins to nurse. The twins gather around the foot of the bed. Anakin slides in the bed beside his wife and gently smoothes her soft raven hair. He kisses her cheek.

The Jedi neo-natal doctor announces he is leaving. Qui-Gon shouts out to him, _'Don't let the door hit you in the butt, Dr. Shill. Ani, I hope he's not the baby's regular doctor. He's off his rocker. Isabel doesn't mind me hanging around, does she?'_

Anakin privately Force-speaks to his old master.

"She can no longer see or hear you, Master."

'_Really? Not any longer?'_

"No, I'm afraid not."

'_Oh.'_

"You miss her, Master?"

'_Well, yeah! We had some delightful conversations. She's got a great sense of humor. I love her. I'm bummed out now.'_

"She'll see you again with the next baby, Master."

'Just doesn't seem fair. She remembers me, right?'

"Yes, Qui-Gon, she does. She'll always remember you."

After about half an hour, Anakin takes Li-An and calmly paces the room with him, gently caressing his back. Finally, Anakin hears the sound he has been waiting for…a tiny burp….all over Anakin's shirt.

"It's ok, I've got plenty of shirts. Yes I do. Your sister buys me shirts at the drop of a lightsaber." He sweetly smiles over at his two oldest children. Isabel watches him as she rests against her pillow. Leia helps to adjust them perfectly. Isabel speaks to him.

"So, you were really paying attention in class."

"Of course I was paying attention. Just because you couldn't control your laughter. One of us had to step up to the plate. Slacker."

"Hey, you weren't in agony all night pushing that 8 pounder out of your body. How dare you." She smiles then looks at Luke and Leia and winks.

Anakin grins as he cradles the baby in his arms, "Li-An, mummy's back. She's her old self again."

He takes the baby to the viewing window. He looks into the family waiting area.

"Li-An, Want to see something really sad?" Anakin watches Han snoring away on the sofa outside. He speaks to the baby again. "See that guy over there? That's what your sister is dating. He should be in jail right now, the rat bastard….yeah, take a good look at him. Pathetic sight, isn't he? Yeah…apparently, she has lowered her standards. Want to go out there and meet the old pirate? Come on, let's go." He opens the door and walks to the seating area. "Yeah, looks like he's going to be hanging around longer than I expected. We can't seem to shake this guy. Just look at him! Bet he had a good time last night freeloading at the buffet table while your mother was in pain and agony."

He sits on the wooden coffee table facing Han who is barely two feet away.

Han furrows his eyebrows then wakes up. He stretches and yawns. Anakin is hovering like a bird of prey. "Li, this is an example of what you don't want to be like when you grow up. The big oaf!"

Han rubs his eyes then sits up and looks around. "Hey, good morning. Wow, heavy night, hey? How's Isabel?"

"She's doing great. She's awake and talking to the twins."

Han yawns again then looks at Anakin.. "What happened to your shirt?" He points to the wet stain on Anakin's shirt.

"Oh, that. It's a little offering from Li-An here. He's got a lot of spunk and a good appetite."

"Or maybe just over-ate"

Anakin studies Han for a moment. "So, want to hold him or what?"

"Wha?" Uhm…sure…I guess."

Anakin is insulted then holds the infant away as if Han will harm it.

"You_ 'guess?'_ Listen to me you scruffy nerfherder, you should be privileged." He then hands the baby to Han. Han is more alert now.

"Oh, he's nice. Baby looks just like you. Poor kid, what a pity."

"So, Nerfherder, aside from the cocky remark, what do you think? Nice, eh?

"Yeah, I suppose…but they grow up. Here, you better take him back before I drop 'em…just kidding! Relax. I would never harm a little baby. He can't help who his father is." He smirks.

"Solo, can't you say something nice to me for once? Just once?"

"Congratulations, Sir. I'm really happy for you." He shakes Anakin's hand. It is a genuine congratulatory handshake. Han smiles then pats Anakin on he back after returning the baby to him. "He's a beautiful baby. You've got three great kids."

"I know. Thanks for sticking around with us all night."

"I was glad to do it, Sir. You have a beautiful family."

"Of course I do!"

_To be continued…'ROTN: Nurse Ratched' and ROTE: King Kowe (Ewok)'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**


	83. Chapter 83 EPI III ROTN: Nurse Ratched

_Chapter 83_

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'_ROTN: Nurse Ratched' and ROTE: King Kowe (Ewok)'_

'_The Name Game'_

'_When I Said I Would Do Anything …You took That Literally?'_

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Shortly after Li-An nursed and after being introduced to the _'scruffy nerfherder',_ he was fast asleep again. It seemed that as soon as he fell asleep everyone was waiting for him to wake up again. Being a newborn social butterfly is exhausting!

By noon, Isabel's parents arrive. Anakin greets them and hands Nakai the baby.

"Nakai, meet your new grandson."

"Anakin, he's beautiful. But, _Li-An Jinn?_ Anakin, what kind of name is that for a child?"

"Would you prefer _'Baby who Never Sees His Butthead Grandfather?_ ?' I'll do it. Besides, he has an honorable Jedi name."

"Sounds like the name of a frat house alcoholic beverage."

"Is this _'true confessions'_ time, Nakai?"

Ouisanne touches the baby then rushes to her daughter's bedside.

"Isabel, how's the new mother?"

"A bit sore but better than last night. Hi, mom."

"You look lovely but who did your hair?"

"Leia did; and don't say anything. She's was trying to be helpful."

"Pigtails are ok, I guess. Where's that pretty nightgown I bought for you? You're half-dressed, dear."

"Mom, I'm ok. I can barely move as it is. I can handle the hospital gown for a while longer; besides, I'm waiting for the nurse to tell me when I can take a shower."

Ouisanne was doing all the things she promised she would not do…fuss over her daughter. But Isabel is her only daughter and she wants her to look perfect. She had always dressed her daughter in the most beautiful baby clothes and, as Isabel became a toddler, Ouisanne put her in the fanciest dresses but never permitted her to play with the other children who were messy, in sandbox dusted rompers and runny noses.

Nakai adored his little princess but he kept telling his wife to dress her like the other children so she could enjoy herself. It was sort of a relief for him to see his daughter now. Still beautiful; but like she's been _'run over by a cruiser' _beautiful. His perfect daughter actually did some real _'grunt' work _today.

He hands the baby to his wife to distract her from nagging Isabel about her hospital bed greeting attire. Isabel actually wanted to curl up under the blankets and go to sleep. She preferred the visitors talk amongst themselves.

Blaise is on duty at the hospital that day so he stops upstairs to visit Isabel. His wife Lara leaves her meeting to visit the new arrival.

Obi-Wan makes an appearance but not before he celebrates at the 'Dawn of the Morning Light Pub.' He is immediately confronted by 'Florence Nightmare' downstairs.

When nurse 'Ratched' inquires if he is family, she gives him a hard time. Obi-Wan waves his hand across her face.

"You don't need to verify my relationship."

"I don't need to verify your relationship."

"You may continue on upstairs."

"You may continue on upstairs"

"Stay as long as you like."

"Stay as long as you like."

"Thanks, that's very kind of you." Obi-Wan smiles then hurries into the elevator.

When he walks into the private suite, it is like a party. More food is on the buffet table, people are mingling. Champagne would soon be flowing, courtesy of Obi-Wan and charged to Anakin's account. He never believes in arriving to an event empty-handed or with an empty flask. Luke and Leia help themselves to a bit of the bubbly while their father is in the room with Isabel, the baby, her parents, Gladys and her husband Uli Jensen. Gladys reassures Anakin that all is well at the house.

Back at the house, Threepio is angrily tossing the pots of boiling water down the drain and cursing Artoo.

"That smart aleck little dime-store toolbox! Play me for a fool will he?"

Artoo rolls in and asks Threepio if he would like to 'crash a party.'

"Exactly what are you talking about? We have work to do. Crash a party indeed."

The two droids and Skippy take Leia's speeder.

Threepio forgets to close the Patio door to Anakin's study. The giant stuffed Ewok from the baby shower was sitting just outside propped up against the wall. Anakin had taken it into his study because Isabel did not want it in the nursery. She thought it would frighten the baby and anyone else entering the room. Anakin takes it to his study but it was starting to creep him out too. Those beady eyes were following him. He couldn't concentrate as he counted his credits. It was as if he were being watched. So he did what any self-respecting gambling Jedi-Sith would do, he shoves it outside onto the patio. Everyone has forgotten about the_ 'super sized'_ critter.

Twenty minutes later the three droids arrive at the hospital. Artoo distracts the emergency room nurse by setting off the defibulator machine in the nurses' station. The droids hurry into a nearby freight elevator.

They wind up in the psych ward. Two orderlies chase them. Skippy growls and successfully keeps the men at bay until Artoo rises up on his tip-toes to can figure out the hospital diagram on the wall to see where they went astray. Threepio criticizes the astromech droid for getting them lost.

"Serves you right, Artoo. You should have studied the hospital floor plan before we took the elevator. Now looks at the predicament you've put us in."

Artoo answers the impatient protocol droid. Threepio becomes defensive.

"Listen you, my height has nothing to do with it. Besides, isn't it required for all public buildings to accommodate the vertically-challenged? They should have installed a floor plan beneath this one for you 'little folks."

He immediately beeps an insult to Threepio before three of them move on. The orderlies are cowering on the floor crying and trying to explain what happened to them. The supervisor sums it up as prolonged exposure to the mental health wing and sends them home.

Artoo finally locates the room and joins the family. Threepio does not show the least appreciation for getting them to their destination. He walks ahead of his little friend.

"Well, it's about time! And, as usually, we're the last to arrive."

Anakin nervously watches the new grandparents hold the baby. He corrects Ouisanne, instructing her to support the baby's head while she's holding him. Nakai rolls his eyes then smiles down at the baby.

"Li-An, your father has three children and he still knows squat about babies. Woodgie woodgie woo! Heheheh."

Anakin rolls his eyes.

Gladys tells Anakin to relax and enjoy the company. He listens to what she says then decides to join his wife. He slides onto the hospital bed next to Isabel.

He speaks quietly to her while everyone else is focused on the baby.

"Bel, I haven't told you how really sorry I am about what I said to you yesterday. I was horribly wrong and I was unkind. You have always been a mother to the twins. You're the first one they go to when they have a problem. I honestly don't believe I would have them today if you didn't show up when you did. I'm so lucky to have found you again."

"You mean it?"

"Of course I do. I love you. I would do anything for you."

"I want our baby to be baptized."

"Of course. That was the plan all along. He will be baptized as a Jedi."

"This means no more Sunday pod racing because we have to attend Mass."

"Huh?"

"Are you hard of hearing, Anakin? No more Sunday morning gambling downstairs in that little room in the docking bay. We have to attend services in the morning. You need to cleanse your soul before we stand before the priest and Jedi Gods on behalf of our baby."

Anakin never saw this coming. Give up his Sunday morning pod racing on SITHTV? How could she? Yes, he did say he would do anything for her but this? His one guiltless pleasure? Give up his main escape from those 'needy' twins? She was asking him to sacrifice his Sunday mornings to attend service to prove they are serious parents. Isabel has been going all along.

Every Sunday, at the end of Mass, the Jedi priest would ask about Anakin. Isabel said he was busy with his 'accounting.' Which was technically 'true.' He was _'a-counting_' his credits for all the gambling he had done for the past week.'

"_Well, I hope he doesn't work too hard. He should be resting and saving his soul."_

"_Yes, Father."_

Isabel looks into the eyes of her husband. Anakin is momentarily stunned then finally clears his throat and responds to her request.

"Uhm…Of course…It's the right thing to do. I'll join you on Sundays."

Anakin felt it wasn't fair that he be dragged up the golden path to salvation alone. Those devil-spawn twin s are coming along too. No more sleeping in late on Sunday. The whole family is going to this 'revival.'

Nakai looks across the room. He watches as Anakin is practically 'mauling' his poor daughter just hours after giving birth to her first child.

"Anakin, haven't you done enough? Give her a rest or at least wait until we leave."

"Nakai, just keep an eye on your grandchild. Don't worry about us."

Lara finally gets to chat with Isabel. Anakin gets up and chats with Blaise. He didn't mind sitting through the birth but he didn't want to listen to an 'instant reply' of all the gory details before and after; especially the_ 'after.'_

Lara gives Isabel a light embrace. She knows Isabel must be aching all over and doesn't want to add to the pain.

"So, how is the new mother?"

"I'll be just fine as soon as the nurse gets in her, un tethers me from this I.V. and lets me take a shower. Other than that, I'm just great."

"Want me to find her?"

"Could you please? I've got to get out of this bed."

Several minutes later a nurse arrives and escorts everyone into the family room. Anakin remains with her.

"Bel, don't give me that look. I just witnessed a live birth this morning; I'm ready for anything."

Anakin stays close by as she takes her first shower. What a relief! She could stay there all day. Anakin turned out to be quite helpful. He hands her a nightgown from her overnight bag and a robe. He sees the birthing plan in one of the compartments with her other hospital documents. He thought he had better not let her see this. She would kill him if she knew. She went through pain and suffering when she didn't need to. Anakin thought she did splendidly without the medication..

Just as Isabel is returning to a freshly made bed, chaos was in full swing outside. Nurse Ratched has taken a trip upstairs to the maternity wing. The peaceful moment had ended. What she discovered made her go nuts. There were at least 15 visitors in the room. They hear a blood curdling scream.

"Now I know not all of you are related to the parents. Some of you have to leave…And who let a dog in here?"

Skipping is 'exploring' down the hall. Threepio looks at Artoo.

"Artoo, who let the dog out?"

The nurse is screaming at the top of her lungs at the staff in the nurses' station.. "How did all these people get up here?"

Obi-Wan decides to be the mediator. The charming Jedi Master walks over to the nurse.

"My dear lady, can you see it in your heart to permit this lovely family to gather for this special occasion?" He waves his hand across her face. All of a sudden, Nurse Ratched is like a smitten school girl.

"Oh, General Kenobi, you say the sweetest things."

He speaks to her.

"Of course they can stay,"

"Of course they can stay." She blushes.

"Thank you, Madame. You are quite accommodating"

Back at the house, an anonymous caller contacts the Coruscant Police to report an intruder outside the Skywalker home. A patrol speeder passing through confirms the presence of an intruder.

"Sir, we have a code EPI-VI in a residential area"

The police arrive and try to reason with the intruder to surrender. The intruder apparently refuses to answer or leave. The swat team is summoned.

"Suspect non-responsive. Attack with extreme prejudice. Fire when ready."

The infrared beam on the police blaster targets the large suspect and fires. Stuffing flies all over the patio. The 'creature' dangles precariously off the side of the house until it finally crashes to the street below.

The police chief gets on the radio to the SWAT officer.

"Is it dead?"

"Not sure, Sir. It landed on an Imperial limousine. What a mess. "

Elan stumbles out of the driver seat. He is covered with debris. The giant stuffed Ewok has landed on the limousine and just about totals it. The roof is caved in. Someone thumps on the window in the back seat. Elan thinks for a moment then opens the door. The Emperor stumbles out and falls to the ground. Stuffing has poured out onto the sidewalk. The EMT arrives to administer first aid. They place the Emperor on a stretcher to immobilize him. He is screaming at Elan.

"Elan! Call the office and have Jar-Jar call my insurance company."

"Jar-Jar said he's not coming in to work until you apologize for the obscene phone messages you left on his machine."

"Why me? Why me?"

"You want a death stick, Sir?"

"No! No! You will die! You incompetent slug!"

The Emperor raises his hands, and lightning bolts shoot out hitting Elan.

"Hey! Ow! Stop that! That hurt! You old geezer."

Meanwhile, back at the hospital, Anakin is in the bed with Isabel and the baby. An orderly brings Isabel the first food she has had for over a day. She devours it as Anakin and Li-An sleep peacefully.

Not a care in the galaxy.

_To be continued… 'Bringing Home Baby'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**


	84. Chapter 84 Bringing Baby Home

_Chapter 84_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Bringing Baby Home'_

'_Unauthorized Visiting Hours'_

'_Mellow Yellow'_

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After a busy and exciting day everyone finally goes home. Luke and Leia are the last to leave that evening. Leia rinses her father's second shirt. Anakin had fallen asleep with the baby on his chest. Leia laughs at her father because Li-An wets his shirt.

"Dad, I honestly believe Isabel took full advantage of her temporary Force powers. She had the forethought to pack some extra shirts for you."

"How did I know he was going to do that?"

"Dad, you've got to make sure his little _'faucet'_ is tucked into the diaper."

"Those diaper companies cut the diapers too low."

"Let's just say you'll have plenty of time to practice to get it right. Luke and I will be leaving in a few minutes."

"Ok." He watches the baby in the bassinette. "Look at him. He sleeps through a diaper change. Amazing."

"Obi-Wan says Li-An is living a charmed life. Drinking and sleeping." She hands her father a fresh shirt while the other two are hanging over the shower stall to dry.

"At least he didn't include the third part." Anakin wraps the baby in the receiving blanket. Li-An wakes up and begins to wail. This startles everyone, especially Anakin.

Luke walks into the room.

"Dad, you woke him."

"I did not wake him."

Isabel wakes up from a peaceful sleep. "Anakin, bring him over here."

Anakin has a big grin on his face.

"Getting enough sleep over there?"

"What are you implying? I've had a rough 24 hours. I earned my sleep."

The family gathers around the bed for Li-An's evening feeding. Anakin looks over at the twins.

"I thought you two were going home."

"We'll leave as soon as he falls asleep. So, Dad, did you like my gift?"

"Yes, I loved your gift and I read your smartass note inside. It _'is'_ something I'm going to use it as soon as we leave the hospital with your brother."

"You're bringing Isabel home too, right?"

"When I said 'We' I meant your mother. Don't get smart with me. Just because you have a little brother doesn't mean I'm done riding your ass."

Leia laughs.

"Don't laugh, Princess, this means you too. I heard you two dancing out in the rain all those months ago. Celebrating! You should both be ashamed."

Leia intentionally changes the focus back to the baby.

"He's really a beautiful baby, Dad." Leia ignores her fathers' remark. She's sure he's saying it with love. Anakin can't get over this new little person in his life.

"He is beautiful, isn't he?"

"He's so sweet."

"Why don't you and your brother go home and get some sleep? It's been a long day."

Luke yawns.

"Ok. We'll stop by tomorrow." They each kiss their father, Isabel and the baby goodnight.

As the two get up to leave, Obi-Wan appears in the doorway. The twins each give him a hug then say goodnight. Anakin notices the happy old Jedi master. What a delightful image at the end of a hectic but wonderful day.

"Obi-Wan, we thought you left for the evening."

"Oh, I was just chatting with the nurses. I wanted to give you time to spend with the doting grandparents. The young ladies outside and I were discussing our favorite head nurse."

Anakin nods knowingly.

"Oh."

"She's not so bad…" He takes a peek outside as if he's looking out for something…or someone. "…once she calms down."

"Calms down? Have you seen her in action? She's like General Grievous with a perm"

Obi-Wan confides in him.

"I put a bit of Caamas in her coffee earlier." Obi-Wan winks at Anakin. He sports that mischievous smile of his. "She actually mellowed out. We were having a delightful conversation….mind if I visit with you two for awhile?" He smiles when he sees Isabel sitting up in bed with the baby in her arms. Her hair is combed differently. The pigtails Leia created are now gone. She no longer looks as if she's been working on a farm feeding ducks. "Isabel, you look absolutely radiant. Motherhood becomes you my dear."

Her mother waited until Isabel finished taking her shower earlier and decided her daughter needed a style becoming of a new mother. She immediately fussed over her daughter's hair as Isabel was getting her blood pressure checked by the nurse. It had dropped shortly after the baby was born but she was back to normal now. Isabel was still too tired and her body still aching. She was helpless and unable to fight her mother.

Before her parents left for the evening, Isabel somehow wound up in one of the pretty nightgowns and matching robes that her mother had given her. She resembled a veritable fantasy of what a new mother would look like after enduring hours of excruciating labor…absolutely 'retro-magazine' perfect!

What really annoyed her was that pink ribbon tied around her head to give her that demure, _'isn't it wonderful to be a beautiful mother?'_ look. It was the last thing she needed.

Isabel tried, in vain, to protest but her mother practically ignored her. She had never felt as helpless as she was this day. She would have cried but she didn't have the strength.

Ouisanne, who wears pearls to the supermarket, was also a bit of a control freak, especially when it came to her only daughter. Anakin was certainly surprised by "Momzilla." He had no idea that Ouisanne had so much control over her daughter. It only presented it self at this time.

Isabel would accompany her mother to those Bimmisari tea parties since the age of five and always wore the prettiest dresses. She had the best manners and curtsied on cue. Had her mother been given enough notice, she would have enlisted the services of her favorite hair stylist to pay a visit to the hospital. She was able to manage without the infamous Bobby Faytonni for now.

Anakin watched Ouisanne perform the transformation. He would have stopped his mother-in-laws' 'madness' but Isabel looked so beautiful by the time the woman was done, Anakin only 'support' was to give Isabel a dumb smile and shrug his shoulders. And it didn't help matters when Anakin made a remark that, before the _'makeover,'_ his wife reminded him of that 12 year old girl who was possessed by the devil and barfed green slime. He makes a point of saying that his wife looks a lot better than the possessed adolescent. Isabel pinches him on that new arm of his. It hurt like hell.

Isabel appreciates Obi-Wan's compliment.

"Thank you, Obi-Wan."

"He's a beautiful boy. You've made Anakin a very happy man. So, I take it you three are in for the night?"

Anakin doesn't know what Obi-Wan is talking about. He does notice how his old friend keeps looking at the door.

"Would you like to hold the baby, Obi-Wan?"

"Oh…well" He looks towards the door. "Let's give you a bit more privacy." Obi-Wan walks over to the viewing window and draws the curtains then quietly closes the door."

"Master, is everything alright?"

As Obi-Wan is drawing the curtains, outside in the nurses station a giggling head nurse can be heard calling out to her favorite Jedi stud.

"Has anyone out here seen that sweet-talking, debonair older man? I've got to find him. Oh, Behh-n...

Where are you?"

Obi-Wan stands frozen behind the door like a sought-after felon. Anakin grins. It is only now that he realizes what is going on. He has a good-natured laugh at the expense of his skirt-chasing master. It seems that the infamous 'lady's man' is the one being chased. Anakin grins and winks across the room at Obi-Wan.

"She's a lot of woman, Obi-Wan. Think you can handle her?"

"Shhh! She'll hear you!"

Anakin decides to have a little fun and taunts him. In a soft voice he pretends to call out to her and points in Obi-Wan's direction... "He's in here hiding behind the door."

"Anakin, so help me, I'll beat the sith out of you if she comes in here. Sorry, Isabel, but I will."

"It's ok, Obi-Wan, but you'll have to get in line."

For the next hour Obi-Wan sits with the new parents. Tiny Li-An is in his arms. It was nice to smell the sweet scent of a newborn again. It has been eighteen years since he last held a newborn in his arms. Now, here is another little Skywalker in a happier time.

Obi-Wan slips out of the maternity ward before midnight. All is quiet again. Anakin watches as the baby holds onto his fathers' index finger. He is amazed at how tiny his newborn sons' hands are.

Li-An sleeps on his father's chest and, again, Anakin wakes up a few hours later with another wet shirt. He doesn't care anymore. It's a moment he will remember always. Isabel looks beautiful sleeping in her beautiful new nightgown and the pretty ribbon in her hair.

By morning Anakin wakes up and places the baby in Isabel's arms. She nurses him while Anakin rinses another shirt. Breakfast arrives followed by the morning doctor visits. Li-An is quiet during his check-up but as soon as the doctor leaves he screams bloody murder. This unnerves Anakin. He hates to see the baby like this and is not sure if he will ever get used to Li-An's helpless cries.

The nurse stops by to show Anakin and Isabel how to bathe the infant. It is their preparation for the 'homecoming.' Li-An decides he will have none of this. To add to matters, Li-An has produced his first 'solid' gift in his diaper. So now he is cold and naked and just wants to be fed. Anakin is so nervous about holding a naked, crying infant, he fumbles. He almost wants to hand the baby to the nurse.

"Mr. Skywalker, relax, he's upset now but he'll soon calm down."

"I'm afraid I'll drop him."

"By the time this is over, you'll be an old pro."

"He looks really unhappy. I don't think I can do this."

"You're doing just fine. He's ok."

"He looks plenty pissed to me."

"Don't take it personally. He's been resting comfortably for almost nine month in a controlled environment. Now he's been passed around, poked and prodded and it's barely been a full day. I will have to agree with you. He doesn't like this at all."

The nurse manages to calm Anakin down long enough to teach him the bathing basics. Isabel is his only support. She stands behind him and watches as he follows the nurses' instructions. Isabel gently rubs his back and tells him what a good job he's doing. She wants this time to be special for him. He missed this moment with the twins.

After the sponge bath, Anakin takes Li-An and holds him close with his sweet head on his shoulder.

"Daddy's sorry…shhh…ok….ok…guess what? You're getting a new diaper. Look, it's got those ugly little Ewoks all over it. Cool, huh?"

Li-An is not at all interested in any Ewok diaper. He somehow manages to cling to Anakin's hair. After placing the baby on the changing table and resting his face close to his, Anakin calms him down.

Li-An is soon dressed and handed over to his mother. Being fed is his only comfort. Anakin collapses in a nearby chair after the nurse leaves the room.

By late morning the relatives visit. Isabel's parents, brothers, their wives and sundry other friends and relations came to see the new baby. Luke and Leia return that afternoon with the baby carrier. Luke has to leave with his father to run an errand.

Leia stays after the relatives leave. Isabel is happy about this. Leia is wonderful with the baby. She was not in the mood for another nightgown change but her mother insists. Isabel gives in just to get everyone to leave. There was on piece of good news. The doctor signs off for Isabel and the baby to go home the following day.

Back at the house Isabel's mother and Gladys are helping to get the house ready for the homecoming. Qui-Gon was in the Nursery trying out the new rocking chair. One of Isabel's aunts sees the chair rocking but no one is in it. She thinks the room is haunted and believes a holy man should be brought in to cleanse the room of demons. The four Force ghosts are insulted. Leia tells the ghosts to stay away until the guests leave. They ignore her advice and return as soon as she and Luke leave for the hospital.

Luke and his father return to the hospital later that afternoon. They are laughing hysterically. Isabel and Leia look at them as if they have lost their minds.

"Daddy, Luke, what's so funny? You look too happy right now."

Luke can barely catch his breath. And when he looks at his father the two of them begin to laugh all over again. Isabel is sitting on the side of the bed burping the baby.

"You two have been up to something, I know it."

Anakin is almost crying he is laughing so hard. He finally is able to speak. "Luke, don't look at me or I'll start laughing again. Bel, guess who was in the Emergency room yesterday?"

"So you're laughing because someone is sick? Anakin…that's not right."

"The Emperor was in a traffic accident!" He giggles.

"Ok, what's the funny part?"

"Bel! That is funny."

Luke taps his father on the shoulder. "Dad, tell her who he had an argument with."

"The head admissions nurse. Apparently he heard you were here and he tried to come upstairs..."

Isabel and Leia try to interrupt him and stop him from talking. Isabel looks over at the foot of the bed. Leia shouts. "Daddy!"

Suddenly Anakin's grin disappears. Sitting in the chair, and wearing a neck brace and ten stitches on his forehead is Palpatine. Luke's mouth drops. Anakin stands between his wife and the wizened old sith. Elan is in the family waiting area with a broken arm stuff leftovers inside his sling. Another orderly grabs him by the injured limb and drags him off the ward.

"Oh, _'sith.'_ What are you doing here?"

'I came as soon as I got wind of the news. I was planning to arrive sooner but, I was detained. I wanted to visit with the new mother and see…"

"Don't take one step near my wife and child."

"Son, if you would just be reasonable…"

"Get out…now…before you wind up in traction..."

Just at this very moment 'Nurse Ratched storms through the door with burly two orderlies.

"There he is. Grab him."

Palpatine rolls his eyes. "Oh, it's you again. Haven't you tormented me enough?"

"No. You want to leave now or shall I have Hans and Franz here move you along?"

"But it's visiting hours."

"And you left yesterday without filling out your insurance forms."

"But I explained to you, my SHMO doesn't cover Emergency Room visits."

"That's just tough, pay out of pocket. Get going."

Palpatine gets up then turns to Anakin, imploring to him in the most sincere manner. "Anakin, I only wanted to see the baby."

"Not now. Isabel is tired. She needs rest and time to bond with the baby."

"I understand. This is a momentous event. I'm sure she's had many visitors." He pokes his head around Anakin so he can get a glimpse of Isabel and the baby again. "Isabel, it was lovely to see you, dear."

"Thank you for stopping by, Excellency. Thank you for the flowers."

The two orderlies, Hans and Franz, escort the Emperor out of the room and back downstairs. Nurse _'Florence Nightmare'_ returns shortly after the Emperor is lead away. She is actually decent to them today.

"Mr. and Mrs. Skywalker, I am terribly sorry for the lapse in security. I hope everyone is alright. I hate the Emperor as much as everyone. He's such a butthead. How's our little guy?"

"He's fine. Thanks."

"Oh, I meant Ben. I must have missed him last night."

"Oh, he probably didn't want to overstay his welcome. He thought you were just delightful."

"Did he really? I gave him my phone number. I hope he calls."

"I'll remind him when I see him."

'Thank you. Well…I'll leave you alone with your family."

"Thanks."

She starts to leave then remembers something.

"Mr. Skywalker, you know you cannot take the baby home until you have a proper means of transport." She is being her old self for a moment.

"It's all taken care of."

"Just checking. You new fathers need to be reminded"

She finally leaves. Isabel looks up at her husband.

"So, how does your foot taste?"

"I had no idea he was here. I felt him too."

Leia pats her father on the shoulder. "You were so busy goofing on him, Daddy, you had no clue. It's a good thing the nurse arrived when she did. Someone had to rescue us."

"I was about to handle the situation, Leia."

"Sure, Dad. So did you get it?"

"What? Oh, that. Yeah. We went to the Metellos Dealership."

Isabel looks at them. "What did you get?"

Luke smiles over at his father. "We picked up the new YUV."

Isabel gazes at the two dumb blond Skywalker men standing before her smiling as proudly as they can be. She is afraid to ask the next question but she feels she has to,

"What color is it?"

"Huh?"

"Don't give that stupid look, Anakin. What color is it?"

"A Light color…"

"Luke, what color is the car?"

"Mom, you should get some rest. It's not important."

Leia folds her arms and looks at them. "You didn't include us in on this so you had better start talking."

Anakin looks at Luke. Luke looks back at his father. They Force-talk to each other.

"_You're the one who said it was a good color."_

"_I was joking, Dad."_

"_Your mother is going to kill us."_

"_Dad, we're smarter than this. We can fix it."_

They forget that Leia is still there listening. She is in disbelief. She blurts out: "Yellow? You ordered a yellow YUV! Idiots."

Isabel looks at her husband. She is almost horrified. "Yellow, Anakin? Where was your brain?"

"Uhmmm…"

Leia makes a wisecrack. "So, will we be picking up passengers tomorrow? Does it come with a meter? I hope there's an "Off Duty" sign on it like the one in your head." She taps on his forehead. "Just as I thought…empty."

"You've disrespected me for the last time, young lady."

"Oh, you're counting now?"

Isabel turns the baby around so he is facing Luke and Anakin. "This is your family, Li-An. You still want to go home with them?"

Anakin leans over to kiss him. "Of course he does. Excuse us." He takes Luke aside. They are in the family waiting area talking. After a few minutes they return. "Bel, we'll be back."

"Where are you going?"

Leia waves her had as the two men hurry out of the room. "Let them go. They're sharing a brain. It's dangerous to interrupt then when they're in the middle of a thought."

"Fascinating. They're going back to the dealership, aren't they?"

"Yep. I love it when they work as a team. We need more girls in this family."

Anakin and Luke return to the Metellos YUV Dealership. The salesman rubs his head and pops an aspirin into his mouth. He chases it down with a bit of Caamas he had hidden away in his desk for these occasions. He walks to the door to greet them. He wasn't operating any vehicles today. He would call a Yellow Air Taxi.

_To be continued… 'Baby's Home'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**


	85. Chapter 85 Baby's Home

_Chapter 85_

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'_Baby's Home'_

'_Anakin and Luke's Excellent Adventure'_

'_You Two Can Prevent Forest Fires'_

'_Candy gram'_

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Isabel had the option to stay longer in the hospital but she thought the longer she put it off the longer she would have friends and relatives hanging around. She did find the hospital a nice refuge. Anakin decided he would stay another night as well. He had a few matters to take care of after the YUV exchange.

On day three mother and baby receive another visit from their respective doctors. Li-An passes with flying colors. Anakin is beaming proudly. He expected as much. His new son is perfect.

Isabel, on the other hand was given a warning that she is to stay in bed for the rest of the week. Anakin promises her doctor that he would see to it that she does. With a few reservations; her physician signs her final release papers. There is another visit due her today.

Anakin waits until Isabel is ready to receive outside visitors before he enters the room later. Two gentlemen are waiting just outside her room in the family area. Anakin speaks to her before he invites them in to see her.

"Isabel, I want to make up for some things I said to you. I have a gift for you and I would be happy if you accepted it."

"Where is it?"

"Well, it's not exactly an it…it's who. How would you like to go home with three babies?"

"What are you talking about, Anakin?"

Her husband sits beside her on the bed, taking her hand in his. "Of all the caretakers and guardians Luke and Leia have ever had, you are the closest thing to a mother they know. I would be honored if you will agree to adopt them as yours."

"Anakin, is this something they want?"

"They insisted upon it. Besides, they listen to you more than they listen to me. All you have to do is sign the documents and they're yours. Hell, I shouldn't be the only one in this relationship to have to put up with the tormenting duo. Let's share this misery fifty-fifty. So, do you accept?"

"I do."

"I love you."

The attorneys enter the room and Isabel signs the documents on the data card. Anakin gently kisses his wife.

"Congratulations, Mrs. Skywalker, it's triplets."

Back at the Skywalker house Threepio and Artoo await the arrival of Isabel and the new baby. Skippy wags his titanium tail as he waits impatiently at the window. Isabel's mother is at the house to make certain her daughter doesn't have to lift a finger. She arranges for a total housecleaning.

Isabel's' father sits on the terrace reading the paper. It's the only place he can sit without being told he's in the way. He has never seen his wife like this, except for his daughters' wedding.

Threepio looks at the time.

"Artoo, this is so exciting. I can't wait for the little Skywalker to finally come home."

Artoo begins to whistle and chirp.

"Well, Artoo, I suppose it will be an adjustment. But it will be so delightful to have a baby in the house. It will surely help the master. He seems so happy these past few days."

At Coruscant University Hospital, an orderly carries gifts and flowers from Isabel's hospital room. Isabel is getting dressed. Li-An decides that he needs to be fed before anyone puts him in a baby romper. One of the nurses arrives to present Isabel with her 'New Mom' starter kit.

"Someone wants it made clear that he's the boss."

"He's made it clear for the past three days."

"Where's your husband?"

"He's loading the car. Thank you for everything this week."

"It has been a pleasure. I hope to see you again. The flowers you left for us nurses are absolutely beautiful. I can't believe you parted with them. You have been one of the more and nicest entertaining families I have met."

"Thanks. You and your staff made my stay here a lot easier."

After the nurse leaves, Isabel looks down at Li-An. They have a mother-son chat. "Ok, you; It's time to get dressed. You have been putting this off long enough. You're not hungry anymore. Don't give me that look. And none of that screaming as if someone is torturing you. I promise you'll like life outside of me. You've got so many toys; your father had to build a room for them. The both of you should be very happy in there." She hears the door open. It is Anakin. He is smiling and carrying something under his arm. "Speak of the devil. Here's your playmate now."

Anakin greets them with a big grin. As he leans over to kiss his wife, he reaches for the baby.

"Did you two have 'the talk'?" He places the item he is carrying on the bed.

"He's still a bit resistant. I'm going to finish getting dressed."

"Oh. Well, I guess it's up to me now." He kisses Li-An "So, you having second thoughts about coming home with us? Well, you've got a nice room and a playroom; you've got lots of toys and a dog. Skippy has been waiting for you. So, what's it going to be? Your mom's leaving this place. The food source is going with her…what's that?...I can't hear you… You've thought it over? You're coming home with us? Well, that's the best decision you've made so far. Yes…we're all going home. Your brother is downstairs watching kiddie videos in the new YUV. He had better have that baby seat installed before we get downstairs. So, let's get dressed. It's useless to resist. Look at this outfit. Your sister bought it for you. Yeah, I know. You can get back at her when you're older. You can spy on her and that worthless nerfherder boyfriend she's dating. I'm appointing you as my personal representative on the Skywalker family council. Then you can also give me updates on your brother and that hellcat girlfriend of his. Hahaha!"

Isabel eventually steps out of the refresher. She is wearing a navy scoop-neck dress with a white satin bow. After worrying about her appearance she finally opens the door. Anakin turns to look at her. She waits for his feedback.

"Well, how do I look?"

"Bel, you look beautiful. I know your mom has been making you crazy these past few days but she does have great fashion sense."

"Do I look fat?"

"No. and if you did, I wouldn't tell you. I don't need you mad at me. You look lovely. I'd make out with you."

"Thanks. I think. Oh, you got him dressed. I didn't hear him fussing."

"We had a little father-son chat. He promises to be good for the trip home. Li-An, look at mommy. Isn't she pretty?"

"He'll say anything; I'm his food source."

Isabel points to something on Anakin's chest.

"Is that Luke's gift?"

"Yes. It's actually pretty cool. Did you see the gift card he put inside?" He hands the card to his wife. She reads it:

'_Dear Dad, _

_I hope you will use this. Enjoy carting around a little extra weight. Good luck in the next 18 years! You'll need it.'_

_Love you._

_Your adoring 18 year old son,_

_Luke_

"Aww, how sweet. That was very thoughtful of Luke."

"He thinks he's funny. So, how do I look? Does it scream _'DAD_'?" He models his new accessory. A navy baby carrier strapped over his light blue tunic shirt that Leia had given him.

"Very nice but you're missing something."

""What? Oh! Yes!" Anakin lifts Li-An from the bed and is about to place him in the baby carrier when someone enters the room. Anakin wrinkles his nose and scowls in protest. "Man!"

It is nurse _'Fatal Attraction Ratched.'_In an authoritarian tone she shouts.

"Mr. Skywalker, you cannot drive and carry the baby in that thing."

Anakin rolls his eyes. "Cha! I know that!"

"Don't sass me. Mr. Skywalker. I've got my eyes on you!" She wags her finger at him. You better have a car seat installed or that baby doesn't leave the hospital."

"He's got a car seat, thank you very much." He mutters to himself._ "Stop riding my ass, woman."_

Isabel interrupts. She is a bit more diplomatic but is just as annoyed as her husband.. "We have a baby seat. He's just trying on the carrier. It's okay if he carries the baby to the car, isn't it?"

"To the car and that's it."

"I promise. He'll obey the rules."

"And Mr. and Mrs. Skywalker?"

"Yes?"

"Congratulations. You're going to be wonderful parents." She is actually smiling. A genuine smile from 'Nurse Evil; imagine that!'

Anakin was not expecting this. "Oh, thank you."

She leaves them. Anakin slips the baby in the carrier. "Li-An, we're going home now."

Leia enters the room. She sees Isabel wiping a tear from Anakin's cheek.

"Dad? Are you ok?"

Isabel smiles as she hugs her husband. "Everything is perfect, Leia. We're ready."

A nurse's aid arrives with a wheelchair to take Isabel to the car. Before they leave a staff member takes a group holograph of the family. Luke has joined them just in time.

As soon as Isabel is out the door she feels a sense of relief. Anakin takes Li-An out of the baby carrier and places him in the baby seat. Isabel and Luke sit with him. Leia sits up front with her father. Anakin looks at his beautiful daughter.

"Leia, we're not leaving until you're buckled in."

Leia grins. She was waiting for this. It was like old times when she and Luke were children. She remembers the fights in the car on the way to school and back. She regrets giving him such a hard time back then but it also reminded her how much her father truly loves her. She would not trade these precious moments for anything…ever.

Back at the house.

The droids have been waiting all morning and part of the afternoon for the arrival. Skippy whimpers as he sits beside Nakai on the terrace.

"Hey, '_Turncoat.'_ You want company? Don't worry. Your little playmate will be here soon."

Skippy barks then curls up on his former masters' lap. Nakai continues to read his paper. Suddenly there is a commotion in the living room. Artoo is beeping and chirping excitedly. Threepio hurries to the door.

"I'm excited too, Artoo. They're finally home! Everyone! Hurry! The master and Miss Isabel have arrived with the little one! We must remain calm! Please everyone, please be calm!"

He looks around. He is the only one at the door. Finally, he hears voices. He opens the door.

"Ah! They're here! Hello, Master Ani." He gently but firmly pushes Anakin. The Dark Lord would have taken a fist to the obnoxiously excitable droid but he had precious cargo cradled in his arms. "Okay, move it along. Where are Madame Isabel and the baby? Master Luke, what a good son you are to bring in the luggage…hurry inside…oh, Princess Leia…have you been behaving yourself during the ride home? Ah! There's Madame Isabel…" He rudely brushes her aside. "What's this? Where's the baby? This is an outrage! Someone call the authorities…the baby isn't here!"

Just as Threepio is about to have a nervous breakdown, Nakai can be heard walking in from the Terrace.

"There he is! Anakin, tell me you didn't drive with him strapped in that thing!"

"Relax, Nakai. I'm blond, not stupid."

"Well, it's good to see you home, son."

"Thanks." Anakin thinks for a moment about his answer.

Nakai and Ouisanne embrace their daughter. Nakai smiles as he sees his daughters' face. "Good to be back home? Step back; let's get a good look at you. You look beautiful, princess."

"Thank you, Daddy."

As everyone gets settled, Isabel's mother is about to do a bit of 'fixing up' on her daughter.

Ouisanne is about to brush a stray hair from Isabel's face. Nakai looks at his wife and raises his eyebrows. Ouisanne stops herself.

"Isabel, that dress looks lovely on you."

"Thanks, Mom."

Her parents stay for awhile so that they can fuss over the baby. Ouisanne had planned to spend the night.

"So, your father and I are available for as long as you need us. We'll stay the week if you like."

Nakai feels he must interrupt.

"Isabel, your mother and I will stop by only when you need us. We'd love to see you and the kids…you too, Anakin; but we're going to give you some space on your first day back."

Anakin is surprised. He almost asks them to stay but realizes that his father-in-law makes a good point.

Ouisanne looks at her husband as if to say _'This wasn't how I had it planned.'_

Isabel loves her mother but she wants quiet on her first day back home. She knows she will need help but she needed to clear her head first. She is very gracious when she addresses her parents.

"Thanks. That means a lot to me; and Anakin appreciates it too."

Anakin agrees. "I do appreciate your generous offer. Thanks Nakai, I'm sure we'll be calling…soon."

Anakin takes the baby from his mother-in-law and places Li-An back in the infant carrier. They walk to the door. Nakai is walking ahead of them. Anakin has not taken the thing off since entering the house. Leia thinks her father looks really cute walking around the house like a big geek.

Soon the house is quiet…for now. Isabel is exhausted and gets into bed. Anakin, the twins, Threepio, Artoo and Skippy all sit around and watch the baby. Leia has convinced her father to put the baby in the bassinette. Skippy finds a prime spot on the arm of the couch. He is thrilled to see the baby from this vantage point. Threepio breaks the silence.

"Well! He sure does sleep like a baby. I guess the saying is appropriate. So, what else does he do?"

Luke laughs.

"He uses a lot of diapers. Oh, Dad, did you see the note on your desk from the police department?"

"Oh, that…yeah, I saw it."

"So, what are you going to do about it?"

"Well, it would be a pity to throw it away after they tried so hard to put it back together. Leia, can we trust you to stay with the baby for awhile?"

"What do you think I'm going to do, leave him in the planter or something? He's my brother. Where are you two going anyway?"

"Just watch the baby. We'll be right back."

Luke and Anakin go down to the parking bay to look at the 'ruins' or 'The casualties of war.' As Luke refers to it.

The police S.W.A.T team had taken the decimated Ewok to the city morgue to see what could be done. They were already in trouble for going into a residential area with inaccurate information. Had they used their heat sensors and high-powered binoculars, they would have seen the manufacturers' tag sticking out of the stuff Ewoks' behind. The Morgue had sutured the critter back together and reattached the head. The cheery expression remained. They re-stuffed him with surgical gauze and cotton balls.

Father and son look at one another. They return to the house and tell Leia and Isabel that they are going on an errand.

Leia exclaims, "Tonight! Are you crazy?"

Luke rolls his eyes at her near hysterics. "Stop shouting, you'll wake the baby. Calm down. We'll be back before midnight. We promise. Don't worry, sis, you have Skippy and Artoo to watch over things."

"Wonderful. What is so important that you have to go out tonight?"

"Just relax."

Luke and his father strap the half-stuffed lumpy Ewok to one of the sleeping bays on the cruiser and take off. After taking off at warp speed, Anakin sets the ship on autopilot. Father and son sit back and chat.

"So, Luke, we never really had a good long talk about your summer vacation."

"I told you about it."

"Humor me."

"It was a blast. It was the best time ever."

"I bet it was. Glad to hear it. Anything else 'interesting' happen…aside from your sister crashing your beach house?" Anakin gives his son a _'knowing'_ glance.

"Oh, I thought you weren't listening to us all the time."

"I heard you. It was more fun waiting to see if you would beat the crap out of each other. But it worked out. I'm glad…see? You eventually got along."

"It's not something I recommend to other siblings. Oh, Dad, you have to come surfing with us next time…It was super! You would have had a blast! I was riding the waves every morning."

"Maybe; when they have a father and son surf party. Then I would have to convince your mother to wear that hot yellow cut-out bikini."

"Cool!"

"I'm being facetious…about the surfing."

"Oh."

"So…how's your love life, 'Stud of the Jedi?'"

Luke blushes. He knows where this is going. " Oh, Dad, you don't want to hear about that. You already know everything."

"I don't want to know but I have a feeling I'm going to be hearing more about_ 'Scarlett O' Horror.'_"

"Dad, she's not that bad."

"You two have come a long way from primary school to now. She used to beat you up every week. You know how humiliating it was to have my son leaving school crying and then finding out it was a girl?"

"I was only 6 years old. But it was funny when you Force-choked her dad when he made that wisecrack. I thought that was the coolest thing."

"No one makes fun of my son but me. Yeah…that was funny as hell. I had to go back for an extra anger management class."

"Dad, you never got 'out' of anger management class. You were a perennial student."

"Still…it served him right. Clark Jade needed to train that redheaded wild child of his."

"The waiter in Kashyyyk thought she was a riot.."

"Poor sap. He had to endure an entire summer with all you brats. But, I am glad that you had a good time…maybe…just maybe, if Master Halcyon gives you a good review on your first assignment…just maybe…"

"Just maybe…what, Dad? Hurry up. You're keeping me in suspense…But I think I might like what I'm going to hear."

"Don't interrupt me, I'm being fatherly here. Just maybe…" He sees Luke rolling his eyes again. He playfully tries to give Luke a backhanded slap across the face. Luke giggles and grabs his dad's hand. Anakin pulls his hand back then quickly reaches over and messes Luke's hair. Luke tries to do the same thing and falls out of his chair when Anakin leans back. Anakin laughs out loud.

"You okay, son? Did you fall and can't get up? The old man's too fast for the Jedi graduate! Get up, boy, walk it off!" Anakin looks at Luke who is still on the floor. Luke is giggling too hard to stand. "Fine, stay there. I just won't finish my thought. And before you utter a wiseass remark, think long and hard first."

"Ok, o.k., o.k. I'm getting up. Awww, man!" Luke eventually climbs back into his seat. "Okay, Dad. I'm listening."

"What I was about to say…"

"Dad! Come on!"

"I might let you go skiing on Hoth…but after! Not before and not this trip Valin cooked up. It's too soon. You earn your holiday." He pauses then turns to his son. "Luke, do I spoil you and your sister?"

"Which answer will get me on the slopes the fastest?"

Anakin blinks at his son then cracks a smile. He tilts his head back on the neck rest of his pilots' chair. They tell stupid jokes to one another and have a few more good laughs. Anakin nudges his son. The ship is ready to land.

The ship taxis down the landing strip. Father and son stand and face one another. Anakin pats his son on the back and prepare to open the hatch. It is a clear and starry evening on Endor.

It didn't take long to gather enough fire wood and lumber to build a pyre. Luke hands a flaming torch to his father.

"You do the honors, Dad"

After taking a deep breath, Anakin approaches the structure. The giant stuffed Ewok is already strapped in place at the top of the pyre. Laying in repose like a fallen Jedi knight. With a touch of the torch, the logs begin to ignite. Luke stands beside his father with one hand on his shoulder. They watch for a few moments. Anakin tosses the torch aside.

"No that's a fire!" The flames quickly catch onto all the neighboring logs on the pile.

As the flames grow, and begin to lick at the plush fur covering, Luke senses something is about to happen. He shouts as he hurries after his father.

"Dad! Nooo!"

Anakin has just leaped on top of the pyre and starts pulling at the vines holding the Ewok in place. He succeeds to pull the enormous kiddie toy from the flames as it is about to be consumed. Luke and Anakin begin stomping on the Ewok to extinguish the smoke and the few flames that were able to take hold of it. Anakin remembers passing a stream during the walk over. He finds an empty rations container and scoops up some water to douse the flames. There is a dull sizzle. The critter barely caught a flame. The only really damage was a slight singe on the critters' backside. Whatdya know, the big lump of fluff was virtually fire retardant! I guess it is kid-safe.

Luke and Anakin exchange a smile.

"Good work, Dad!" They high-five one another then drag the poor toasted toy back to the ship. _Old 'Smokey'_ survived.

Luke and his father sit at the controls on board the ship ready to take off.

"Dad, you're a trip!" He chuckles.

"Gotta love me."

"I do."

"Man, I'm starving! We have any rations left on board?"

"Oh, I think we have some candy bars in that bag over there. It was Leia's. She left it at the beach house and asked me to bring it back for her. I forgot to give it to her."

"Leia doesn't eat candy. What gives.?"

"You don't want to know. She just bought a ton of them one day when we went to the cinema."

Anakin opens the bag. There must be at least 10 candy bars inside. Anakin is like a child again.

"Cool! Hydrian Way bars! I haven't had one of these in ages. What else is in here? Chadrian Chews, Codian Moon Pies, Oh, Oh! Hapes Clusters! We have hit the mother load!"

"Oooh, Dad, let me have one. These are good. I'll share it with you."

"No way!" He holds the bag out of Luke's reach.

"Come on, Dad. I'll tell…"

"Who? Isabel won't know."

"She'll smell the chocolate on your breath."

"I brush my teeth. Fine! But I get the Tatooine Sandies."

"Big baby! Leia's going to be pissed."

"Well Leia should keep track of her munchies. Serves her a lesson digging into my stash." He looks at Luke. "Don't judge me!"

"Oh, calm down, Dad. Qui-Gon told me all about it."

"That big mouth. Oh, Sith! We'd better get home. I'm on diaper changing duty."

They arrive home shortly before midnight. The ship is parked. Luke and Anakin drag the Ewok from the ship, douse it with air freshener and pull an oversized beach shirt over its misshapen head. The front of the shirt has a picture of a Wookie waving from a tree house; and on the back, in big red letters reads:

'_I Survived Another Jedi Summer on Kashyyyk'_

Luke sticks an old forest rangers' hat on the Ewoks head. He found it on the ground while they were constructing the pyre.

Anakin removes his smoky clothes and takes a shower in one of the guest rooms.

Isabel has just finished feeding the baby. Anakin walks to the door wearing his bathrobe. Skippy whimpers in the hallway. The nursery is empty. There is no occupant for him to watch over.

Anakin opens the door and lets him inside. He greets his wife with a kiss then takes the baby and burps him.

As Isabel turns to go to sleep she sniffs the air.

"Why do I smell smoke and chocolate?"

"I don't know, honey. It's probably your heightened senses from when you were pregnant. She leans in close to smell his wet hair. "Will you stop it? It's not me."

"You've been up to something, I know it."

"You need your rest."

Skippy curls up at the foot of the bed. Everyone is home. It is a peaceful night…all is quiet…for 3 hours. Li-An has something to say…loudly.

_To be continued… 'Take Your Baby Sith to Work' 'Li-An, I am Your Godfather'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	86. Chapter 86 A Brief Interlude

_Chapter 86_

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'_A Brief Interlude'_

'_From My Perspective: A few thoughts from Li-An'_

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The Skywalker household has been adjusting to the new member. Li-An is the new boss and people, droids and droid pets take notice. One of the things the family learns is that Li-An has lots of likes and _dislikes_ already in his very young life.

The first few were quite understandable since everyone feels the same way:

No interruptions during Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner.

No interruptions during sleep time.

Okay, this isn't so difficult.

The other rules however were left to interpretation:

No baths

No diaper changes while nursing

No interruptions during in-between meals. Every two hours; when not sleeping, and then no interruptions at that time. People should have plenty to do without disturbing the boss…the baby.

No Force-slamming of doors

No stupid 'baby-talk' Babies don't speak this way...ever. Idiots! Although…Grandpa Nakai can be pretty amusing. I let him slide on this one

No move to nursery. And don't try to sneak me in there while I'm sleeping or you will be sorry.

No dress-up time…no matter how 'cute' the little sailor suit. No hat and definitely no doll clothes…Leia! It's undignified. I am not here for your amusement.

No bottles. Mom's here for a reason.

That bath time seems to be an unavoidable ordeal since the 'adorable one' is still too small and young to fight back. Not that he didn't try.

The move to the nursery was another uphill battle. After the first couple of weeks, rooming in with Mommy and Daddy was convenient for everyone. Mom was getting used to the baby and the random feeding times. Dad would take over while mommy sleeps. Everyone was happy as a crib of Naboo clams. After week three, Mom did a sneaky thing. She waited until the _'Precious One'_ was sound asleep. He was rudely spirited out of the master bedroom and placed in that room with all the _diapers, pretty wallpaper, and cute toys and …ooh…that mobile looks nice…the tune is quite catchy… and relaxing…_

Out like a light! Foiled again!

Baby Skywalker has an ally, however, and it is Dad. Anakin's new name around the house these days is 'Daddy Pushover.' Anakin buckles at the slightest whimper from the tiny Youngling. Li-An has thoughts about _'Daddy PO' _and the family.

These are his stories:

'_Grandma Wears Pearls'_

Grandma ('Nana Ouisanne') is sort of a pushover like my daddy. She's a good-looking grandmother. I can see where Mommy gets her beauty. She also has great respect for me. She knows how to properly dress when visiting royalty. Nana always wears the most fashionable outfits and is always in pearls. You go, Nana! As soon as I'm old enough to grasp and my hand-eye coordination is fully operational, I'm going to grab those pearls right off her neck.

Nana has one flaw…she's a bit of a control-freak. During the first week home she made Mommy cry Mommy felt like an incompetent parent when, in actuality, she was doing a pretty good job and learning a lot.

One day Mommy finally "crashed" and all of the visitors, including Nana, had to leave. I could see how Mom could get upset. A house full of adoring and well-meaning friends and relatives giving varying opinions about child-rearing was like data-overload. Daddy felt Mommy was in pain so he asked everyone to leave. We really didn't need that much help. Things were going to turn out just fine. Hey, look at my brother and sister! Can't do any worse than that!

'_Chief Curmudgeon'_

Grand pop is a very important businessman and group leader. People take him seriously. He always has wise things to say and is well-respected by the elders. After I was born he has become an inarticulate boob. Lately he has added 'Woogie, woogie woo' and "Baahgee, baahgee goo." to his vocabulary.

He used to be angry with daddy for a long time. It was something that happened ten years ago when Mommy was a young girl just out of University. He was mad at Mommy too. One day Luke, Obi-Wan and Leia devised a way to get them together. Daddy and Mommy eventually made up but not before a bunch of mishaps. Daddy was out of practice romantically. When he finally got it together, he found the nerve to confront Grand pop. It wasn't until after I was made (Grand Pop was really disappointed in Mommy about this) and during the wedding did my Pop-pop fall in line. Nana actually threatened him. He buckled. Now Grand pop and Daddy are sort of good friends. Alcohol seems to be the great leveler, especially if it's over 70 Proof.

Grand pop still babbles to me but he also sings beautiful traditional lullabies. I especially like _'My Bark Canoe.'_

It's nice and I like to go to sleep by it. He recorded an Epod full of these and placed it near my crib in that horrible room. Skippy keeps me company there. He makes it bearable.

'_Dairy Queen'_

I support my mom. She's beautiful, smart, she loves me and, best of all, she's my primary food source so I got to mind my 'pees' and 'Q's.' I sure don't want to lose out on that 'gravy train.' Now, about that…I'm going to have to keep an eye on Dad. I know he loves me and all, but one night, he actually had the audacity to ask my mom how long she was going to nurse me. He almost choked himself when she answered, "About one year."_ "A whole 'nother year?"_ Frankly, I can hang out for awhile longer. I'm in no hurry; but apparently he is. He said something to me that was tantamount to high treason…They were definitely fighting words. If I translate what I understood correctly, he said something to the effect of, "Don't get too comfortable with that milk wagon, sport, they're only on loan. They belong to me." Just as I'm about to enjoy a relaxing evening meal he just 'hovers' over me, waiting g for me to say, _'no mas.'_

Well, he's in for a rude awakening….Ain't gonna do it…It ain't gonna happen, _Padre._ This may come to 'Force-blows.' He told me they were his 'toys' or some such nonsense. What a sicko! Anyway, I'm going to ignore him for now…silly man.

'_Brother Two-Suns, Sister Moon over Endor'_

Then there's my brother and sister. Apparently Leia is seeing this older guy. I got a glimpse of _'the nerfherder' _on my first day. My father wanted me to see all of the horrors and injustices in the galaxy. It was like watching one of those 'Scared Straight' holovids. Han seemed affable enough but dad says this is what happens when you have no ambitions. He's actually a nice guy who Dad insists on calling a cradle robber. I was shocked. I never saw any cradles on his smuggling list. My dad says he is one, so I'm going to take his '_word'_ for it. It's probably _'code'_ for something. It would be a shame if thousands of babies have been left without a proper place to sleep. I know one thing; he had better not try to rob my cradle. I'll have to sic Skippy on his ass!

Aside from that, Leia's living a charmed life and she's a cool sister. She does talk a lot and she has a temper like my Daddy. I think she's heading for anger management classes too. She sure can make people cry. Daddy said she should work for him at the Imperial offices. She would have Admiral Motti and Governor Tarkin crying like babies. Tarkin actually avoids Leia at all costs. He once tried to teach her a lesson about speaking out of turn. He told her that if she didn't behave herself he would blow up places such as Alderaan. Even though Leia didn't see Bail Organa and his wife anymore, she would never want anything terrible to befall them. Her retaliation was to step on the old vampire's foot and told him he smelled like bat guano. He never bothered her again.

Then there is my brother Luke. He's really cool too. I'm going to really enjoy hanging out with him. He's Dad's _'Golden boy.'_ Everyone loves him, especially this wild redhead who visits the house sometimes. They make out on the terrace when they think no one is around. Threepio almost fainted when he caught them playing 'Jedi Doctor' behind the lemon tree plant. Dad was terribly disappointed in Luke. I was too…Mommy's _'cafeteria'_ is a lot more impressive.

'_The Tin Man, the Mechanic and My Dog Skip'_

The Droids are funny. Artoo is great at fixing things and highly resourceful and intelligent. He has a wonderful sense of humor and laughs at Threepio. Threepio is a stuffy know-it-all and, at times can be such a coward. Artoo said that Threepio became hysterical on the night my Mommy was about to give birth to me. But, I must admit, Threepio is the most caring and loyal Protocol Droid ever…from time to time. He sure has gotten my father out of a lot of predicaments. He was the first to introduce my parents to one another. And I must not forget Skippy. He's the best Droid dog my Daddy ever stole. He's my best friend. We're going places together.

'_Anakin, I Am Your Son'_

And last but not least, there's Dad. He's impulsive, easy to anger, stubborn, prone to jealously, and a bit neurotic. He loves us all. Yes, he can obsess about stuff both trivial and serious. He's obsessive about us kids and Mom. He loves Mom over all. She keeps him in line. Even when he gets mad at her, he can't be without her. He loves her so much because, had it not been for _'Bel_,' he would have never gotten my brother and sister back permanently and I would never have been born. I know he's got faults but he's my dad and I love him. Now he has someone around when those spoiled, freeloading, older siblings of mine eventually _"grow up,"_ get married and leave the nest. Then I'll be here so Dad can ride my ass for the next 18 plus years. And then there will be peace.

He says I'm his only hope.

I hope you will attend my Baptism, but first, I need to spend this morning at the office with my Daddy. He's so funny when he messes up. I love him.

Hello, Galaxy, my name is Li-An Jinn Skywalker

Newborn Youngling and future Jedi Knight

_To be continued… 'Take Your Baby Sith to Work'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	87. Chapter 87 Bring Your Baby Sith to Work

_Chapter 87_

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'_Take Your Baby Sith to Work'_

'_Preparations for a Baptism'_

'_5TH Floor Plunging Necklines'_

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Isabel has been doing a great job at sloughing off the baby weight. She was getting back into her old clothes except for the tops. Anakin didn't mind one bit. He considers her new _'treasure chest'_ the best work he's done since the baby arrived. It was a veritable 'Jedi masterpiece.' The down side is that this 'work of art' was being loaned out to a little 8 pound Youngling sleeping in the bassinette. Anakin was going to have to be patient for awhile.

One of Isabel's rituals after the baby was born is to go to the spa once a week. Anakin wanted to make sure she wasn't going to have personal trainer 'Steroid Tony' or whatever his name is 'molding' any part of his wife back into shape. She looks just fine.

Isabel did have an appointment for a facial, manicure and pedicure; besides, she just needed to get out of the house for some 'me' time. She has been taking Li-An with her during trips with her mother or Lara but Lara was busy with a case with the child welfare office and Ouisanne had a speaking engagement with members of the Coruscant Ladies Auxiliary and the Bimmisari Tea Society.

It was actually a fancy social event for the women to show off their finery and brag about their children and grandchildren.

Nakai was spending more time at home since his other son, Philippe and his nephew were handling the daily operations at the boat company. He was glad his wife was out and about; it kept her off his ass for a few hours each week. He could lounge in the den playing billiards with his retired buddies or watching sports from the comfort of his favorite leather sofa.

He has recently taken to watching the afternoon pod races. A certain 'unnamed son-in-law' (He only has one) got him hooked. He would call in his bets to Bespin. He couldn't do it through Anakin anymore because Isabel made her husband promise to stop meeting in the secret room in the parking bay. He confided in his father-in-law that he had to 'cleanse his soul.'

Nakai laughed his head off when he heard that Anakin was attending Mass with the family. He made the grave mistake, however, of telling his billiards buddies while his wife passed by the den one evening. So, on the following Sunday, Nakai and Anakin were standing side by side like two choirboys singing from the hymnals. This was the only time the two managed to get together. But it was also a _'Godsend.'_ Isabel said he couldn't use the room in the parking bay to gamble. There was no mention of the bingo hall next to the monastery wine cellar. Hallelujah!

So Anakin, Boba Fett, Nakai and Lando would meet at the monastery, along with two of the monks who managed the wine cellar, for a _'spiritual journey.' _Anakin told his wife that he was starting to see the light. The 'Lord of the Jedi' has touched his soul.

Just to keep the women at bay, a portion of their winnings would go into the poor box and to feed the hungry in other star systems. It was a substantial amount too. Anakin even bought a new transport for the clergy to travel to spiritual retreats and to help deliver food and clothing to the needy. Anakin was a saint!

So now that Lara was busy and Ouisanne was giving 'inspirational' speeches about fashion and good living, Isabel had to go to the spa alone. Anakin didn't like the idea of all of the spa staff touching his son so he did what any wonderful husband would do. Volunteer to take his infant son to the Imperial offices for the day. He felt that he was up to the challenge, besides, Isabel was pumping milk for those late night feedings so Anakin could help out. Li-An wasn't too thrilled but Isabel needed rest. Anakin was glad to pitch in. Li-An protested a lot but then he realized his mother was not going to fall for his temper tantrums. It gave them time to _'talk.'_

Isabel is not keen on the idea of bringing the baby to the office but Anakin assured her he would be fine, besides, Gladys would be there and she knows everything about babies. Isabel nods in agreement. "Oh that's right; she works for one." Anakin had the urge to hit her in the behind with the diaper bag. He had planned to take the navy bag but could not find it.

The one with the baby Ewoks wearing diapers was already packed. It was ivory colored with beige piping and tiny baby Ewoks wearing pink and blue diapers. The baby girl Ewoks all had a pink bow planted smack between those fluffy ears, while the baby boy Ewoks each wore a white sailor hat with a blue ribbon hanging off the back.

Inside the bag there was is an emergency changing pad, baby ointments, powder, washing cloths, wet towelettes, an extra blanket, an extra set of clothes, two shirts, socks, bibs, burp cloth, a clipper set and thermometer. This kid has more crap in his bag than Leia. It looks like he is stuck with the Ewoks. If anyone says one word to him about the bag when he sets foot in the Imperial office building, he'll choke them.

What he did not want to hear when he is in the YUV with Isabel is, "Anakin, are you sure you can handle this?"

"Of course. He's just a tiny baby, how much work can he be? We've been home with him for a month now. You can trust me, Bel."

"Alright. I'm just making sure. I can cancel my appointment."

"No. Don't you dare! This is something you need…not that you need a facial; you need some time to yourself. When things balance out, the two of us will take a holiday and leave the baby with…"

"The twins?"

"Heavens no! I was thinking of your parents or Gladys. Leia would be making out with the nerfherder and Luke would be picking the lemons of _Fire Engine Barbie_. No."

Anakin is about to drop Isabel off in front of the spa. Skippy is strapped in the back seat next to the baby. He also wants to keep an eye out for the _'Steroid King' _but there is no sighting. Anakin kisses his wife as he lets her out. She opens the back door and kisses the baby as he sleeps in the car seat.

"Ok. See you two in a couple of hours. Bye Bye, Baby, Bye Skippy, Bye, Sweetheart. I love you."

"I love you too. Alright, now go! We're fine."

"Don't forget to take the bottle bag with you when you go up to the office."

"I know, I know! I got it. Go!"

"I'm just checking."

"Go."

Isabel, the nervous new mother finally leaves the YUV with her husband and baby inside.

Anakin gets back inside the vehicle. He looks in the rear view mirror at his son. "Li-An, your mother need to learn how to relax. If that spa doesn't do the trick, she should demand her money back. Let's go to the office."

Anakin arrives at the office a few minutes later. He puts on his new baby carrier and places Li-An inside. He grabs the gear and the car seat. Skippy hops out. He leaves the parking bay and heads inside the building.

As Anakin walks inside the building, the storm troopers at the security desk tilt their heads. They look inside the carrier. Anakin waves his hand and tosses the troopers aside. He passes more troopers on the way to the elevator. They are mesmerized. Skippy barks at them before trotting along merrily behind his master. Anakin passes the Imperial offices of Veer, Motti and Tarkin. They cannot believe Anakin has brought an infant into the office. Anakin stares at them.

"Yes?" They pretend they are not looking. Anakin heads for his office. Gladys greets them at the door. She 'oohs' and 'ahhs' as he enters with the baby. Skippy follows proudly behind.

"Anakin, he's so beautiful…and he has filled out so much since I last saw him."

"Yes he has." Anakin takes him out of the carrier and cradles the baby in his arms. "He's another member of our family who never misses a meal." He looks down at Skippy who pants happily. The pup is not ashamed in the least.

"But he's so precious. May I?" Anakin lets Gladys hold the baby. She bounces him gently in her arms. "Hello there. Yes, Hello, sweetheart….you remember 'Grammy Gladys?" She kisses Li-An on the back of the head. Anakin smiles and rolls his eyes. Suddenly Gladys looks up at her boss. "Oh, someone needs a new diaper. Yes you do."

"Oh, I know how to do that. I'm an expert."

They go into the refresher. Gladys prepares the new changing table in the newly 'redecorated' refresher. Anakin places the baby on the changing table. Li-An is barely away but he know he wants to be changed. Anakin removes the leggings to Li-An's outfit. Gladys gently caresses Li-An's tiny pink legs to keep him warm. Anakin removes the tiny Ewok disposable diaper. The baby flinches as his sleep is being disrupted.

"Oh, it's not so bad, Li-An. You don't smell bad at all." He disposes of the old diaper and prepares a new one. Anakin looks at Gladys and smiles. "He's really calm around you. He likes you..."

"Well, I adore him. And he's smells so sweet."

"Yeah, he's a great baby. Gladys, this makes me wish I could have done the right thing before the twins were born."

"They know you love them just the same."

"You're right. The twins adore him. They're the first ones in his room in the morning before they leave the house. Luke's going to be so busy at the Jedi Temple. He tries to spend time with him every chance he gets."

The baby isn't in the room with you anymore?"

"No. Isabel wants him to get used to the nursery but I sneak him back with us during the night."

They stand in the office. Anakin walks over to the window facing the Jedi Temple. Gladys returns to her desk in the front office.

"Li-An, you're going to be a student there one day." Li-An yawns then looks up at his father. Anakin goes to the desk and places the baby on the blotter. Gladys is at her desk answering the telephone. Anakin notices that the baby flinches then frowns. He is no longer the quiet and peaceful infant from a few moments ago. Anakin knows what it is. The baby becomes agitated. Anakin remains calm. He sits at the desk with his hand over the baby's stomach. "I'll protect you." Li-An can't help but whimper. "Relax, don't show fear. It's a bad disturbance, I know. I know."

Gladys calls into the office over the COM. Her voice is one of hesitancy and concern.

"Sir..."

"I know, Gladys, I'll take care if it. Thank you."

Anakin is annoyed but remains calm. He tells Li-An to follow his lead.

There is a commotion outside in the reception area. Yes. It is the creature. Anakin listens and waits. The voice is clearer now.

"Where is he? In here? I knew I felt him! This is absolutely delightful. Relax, Gladys, I promise I won't wake him."

The door swings open and in waltzes the _'King of Siths'_…The Emperor, his white hair freshly coiffed and he is sporting a new Imperial blue robe over his outfit.

Anakin keeps his eyes on the wizened old coot. Palpatine smiles as he enters Anakin's office and claps his hands together as he approaches the desk.

"And there he is! Anakin, you've finally brought him in to see me! Oh, what a wonderful surprise! He's such a good baby." He leans across the desk to get a better look then extending a pasty crooked finger, he tickles Li-An's chin. Li-An stares at his father. Anakin continues to watch him. Palpatine continues to speak "Yes, he's a beautiful child, Anakin. You must be proud."

"I am. Thank you."

Palpatine smiles down at the baby again. "Coochi, coochi cooo! Boogety boogety Boo!"

Li-An returns a terrified stare. Anakin Force-speaks to the baby._ 'Stay calm.'_

The Emperor waits for the invitation that never comes so he decides to ask himself.

"Mind if I hold him?"

"He doesn't like to be held…by strangers…you might drop him."

"Oh Anakin, the cautious father. Making up for being an absentee father all those years ago when the twins were born. They must envy your new relationship with the younger son."

Anakin knows that the Emperor is pushing buttons to get a reaction out of him. He is getting pissed off but manages to keep his composure. He taps his index finger on the desk waiting for the Emperor to leave. Anakin can feel Li-An getting agitated the longer the Emperor hangs around. Finally the old goat steps away.

"So…Anakin…when is the big celebration?"

"Soon."

"I am awaiting this special event…although….I must say we are somewhat disappointed that you have chosen to have our little prince baptized in the Jedi Order." He leans over the baby and smiles.

"We?"

"The Empire…and certain affiliations you vowed to honor."

"I have made unwise choices in the past. I am proud of the new choices I have made…Excellency."

"My, why so formal, Anakin? Well, I see you have given this some thought."

"I have."

"Well, congratulations again. I will see you at the celebration." He sees he is not getting anywhere with Anakin. He feels he is being shut out. Anakin has relied less and less on him since the started to get his family back.

"Goodbye."

The Emperor smiles and waves to the infant then leaves. Once he is out the door and leaves the reception area for his office Li-An turns red and begins to wail. Anakin consoles him and cradles him in his arms.

"I'm sorry, Li-An. It's over. He's gone. You did well. You're not one of them."

Anakin walks with the baby holding him close. He has been alone for some time now. Gladys finally walks in as Anakin is pacing the floor.

"Anakin, perhaps you should give him a bottle. Where is his diaper bag with the bottles?"

Anakin looks at Gladys then winces. 'Bottles…bag…oh no!"

"What is it?"

"The bottles, I left them…"

He becomes frantic and combs his fingers through his hair as he holds the baby with his free hand.

"Sir?"

"Gladys, you've got to help me."

"I'm afraid I can't help you with that, sir."

"No, Gladys, I want you to hold him. I need you to stay with Li-An until I return."

"Of course, Sir."

"And don't let anyone, including that old geezer in here. I'll be back soon, I promise."

"I'll take very good care of him sir, I promise."

Isabel is at the spa enjoying her facial and body massage. She was convinced by one of the attendants to indulge for another hour before meeting Anakin. She is in dreamland.

Meanwhile, Anakin is racing through the Imperial Executive suites almost bumping into General Veers and Governor Tarkin. He jumps into the first elevator leading to the docking bay and waving his hand over the buttons to send the elevator express. Admiral Motti and General Tagge start protesting.

"Hey! You can't do that! We were heading to a meeting on the 5th floor!"

Anakin turns to face the two officers.

"What did you say?"

General Tagge gulps. "Nothing, Lord Vader."

"That's what I thought." He keeps staring at them during the express ride down. It is the most uncomfortable ride the two Imperial officers have ever had.

When Anakin reaches the docking by level he smiles at Tagge and Motti and walks out. Just as the door closes the two start talking.

"What a dick."

"Did you see him with that baby carrier strapped to his chest and the diaper bag?"

"He is such a dork. His wife must have him whipped. He still tries to frighten us with his sorcerer's ways. His sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped him to control his spoiled brat children."

As Anakin continues on his way he waves his hand without looking back. Two dull thuds can be heard. Suddenly the elevator rises very fast. It speeds up pass the 5th floor, 7th, and 12th; when it stops at the top floor it plunges back down. Tagge and Motti scramble to their feet screaming like old Tatooine peasant women and pounding on the doors.

The officers waiting on other floors observe the flashing elevator display on the wall. After the rubber band plunge and retraction of the elevator car, it finally stops on the 5th floor. When the doors open, Tagge and Motti are curled up in each others' arms whimpering and gasping for air.

Anakin is walking towards the executive docking area. The troops stop what they are doing and stand at attention as the Dark Lord passes by. The two bodyguards standing near the YUV salute. Anakin waves them aside and unlocks the blue vehicle. He checks the back seat…nothing. Anakin is getting nervous. Li-An must be fit to be tied right now. Anakin continues to search behind the seats. He finally feels the handle to the bottle caddy on the floor of the YUV wedged in the corner. He grabs it and slams the door of the vehicle. He leaves. The guards start to follow him but he waves them away. "Stay."

The trip back up to the Executive offices is a lot easier. He passes Governor Tarkin again on the way. They acknowledge one another with a nod. Callista is accompanying Tarkin to a meeting. She smiles when she sees him.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Skywalker."

"Good afternoon, Callista.

"Congratulations."

"Thank you."

Tarkin looks down at her. She shrugs.

When Anakin walks into the office he finds Gladys at the desk on the phone. He slows down then looks around to see where she has put the baby. He is feeling betrayed. How could she let him down like this? Why was she on the phone? He senses someone is in his office. He walks in and finds something he did not expect. Li-An is nursing peacefully in his mother's arms. Isabel looks up at her husband and smiles.

"Hello, handsome. Why are you looking so worried?" He plops the tote on the coffee table.

"I messed up. How did you know?"

"I had a feeling …I can't explain it…I was almost done at the spa anyway. Come sit with me. You need to relax. You worry too much." She kisses him.

Anakin locks the door and sits next to his wife on the sofa. Li-An is no longer fretful. As they sit, Anakin sees Qui-Gon sitting in the window facing the Jedi Temple. They Force talk with one another.

"She's not angry with, you Ani."

"How did she…"

"…Know? She has that maternal intuition…but we helped her along. Li-An did well this morning."

"Yes, he did. You know why I had to put him through this, don't you? He's not one of _'them' _I could feel it. But I had to be sure before the baptism."

"All you had to do was ask. He's going to make a fine Jedi, Anakin. He'll be safe from the Sith. Li-An will have a lot of protectors."

"Thank you."

"I've got to look out for my namesake. His father can't even remember his bottles. If we had to rely on you, he would starve."

"Thanks a lot for the vote of confidence."

"My Pleasure." Qui-Gon smiles then glances out across the sky at the Jedi Temple.

_To be continued… 'Much Care Should be taken When Choosing a Godparent…' 'Li-An, I am Your Godfather'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	88. Chapter 88 Holy Baptism, Batman!

_Chapter 88_

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'_Holy Baptism, Batman!'_

'_Much Care Should be taken When Choosing a Godparent…'_

'_A Sith Demonstration' _

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Palpatine is quite put out that he is not chosen as Li-An's Godfather. Anakin has virtually dashed any chance of him to 'bond' with the baby. The Emperor vowed to have his revenge once and for all. He runs his wizened old fingers over the engraved invitation. He releases a heavy sigh then presses the intercom.

"Jar-Jar!"

He waits. No response. Just as he is about to yell again, he hears a tone.

"Yes?"

"Where are you?"

"Pluto."

"What?"

"Meesa be at Meesa desk, your Imperial wuudness. Where yousa tink Meesa be?"

"Get in here! We've got a baptism to go to!"

He hangs up. A few moments latter, Jar-Jar appears in the Emperor's office.

"Jar-Jar, as I was saying, we have a baptism to go to…"

"Oh, that. Meesa already know."

"You do?"

"Of course Meesa know. Meesa already have cordially invited invitation."

"That's impossible! From who?"

"From _'whom.' From 'Whom.' _From Jedi Luke Skywalker, thatsa _'whom.' _Practice yousa grammar, old Imperial Godfather hater."

The Emperor is insulted that the Gungan received a personalized invitation signed by Luke. The Emperor received on with only the engraving, no personal note and no signature from Anakin or his wife. He believed Anakin was turning her against him. Jar-Jar asked how she could possibly be against him when she wasn't _'for'_ him in the first place. The Emperor had to think for a moment about Jar-Jar's comment. He waves his hand at Jar-Jar dismissing the remark.

"So, you received an invitation. Well, isn't that special. Humph….Jar-Jar…How are you going to get there?"

"Meesa take air taxi."

"Jar-Jar, How would you like to arrive in grand style?"

""Whatsa yousa mean, Evil Imperial party crasher?"

"Jar-Jar, you are one of my most loyal staff members. I am appointing you as my personal assistant to accompany me to this momentous event. You'll get to ride in my new limo. That smarmy little Bo weevil Elan creature will be driving us."

"Meesa tink heesa be tied up."

"Heesa be…He is tied up! He's stationed in the docking bay. The Imperial Guard are holding him in a little room down there whenever I need him. He's too much trouble up here on the Executive floor."

"But heesa can escape while weesa in Jedi Monastery."

"He won't. He's got a boot attached to his ankle. He cannot move two feet from the perimeter of the vehicle unless he wants to suffer the agony of remote dark lightning."

"Yikes! Yousa sadistic Imperial Sith . Heesa gonna be one fried bug."

"Hopping like a grasshopper on a skillet!" He laughs in that evil maniacal cackle of his. He could not wait for the 'blessed' day. _"At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last we will have revenge."_

_Day Of The Big Dip_

Across town, Isabel has to deal with a fussy infant as she attempts to dress him. He has been whimpering and crying for the past five minutes. She _'sings'_ to him.

"Li-Li, if you let me dress you, you'll get a nice reward…" She opens her suit jacket and 'flashes' him. Li-An immediately stops crying. Anakin watches from the bedroom door with a big grin on his face.

"That always works for me."

"You men are all alike. I bet if I did this before the Imperial Fleet, I could control the galaxy." She starts to dress Li-An.

"No, they would just faint. They never get any action. Women aren't exactly hanging around as groupies for those tired old dinosaurs, except for of course, the Emperor's concubine."

"Oh, yes. I saw her at our wedding." She continues dressing the baby.

"If I saw that bedroom scene, I would gouge out my eyes."

"Then don't ever go there. I need to see those beautiful eyes of yours."

"Oh, Bel…you're giving me ideas…How about we put him in the nursery for a nap and we could have a quickie?" He leans in to kiss her. She playfully slaps his hand as he gropes her.

"Stop that! This is a solemn occasion."

'What? We're still home. Are you telling me we can't fool around today?"

"No. It would be disrespectful."

"Isabel, this could kill me…it's not right."

"Oh cut it out. You waited ten years, you can wait four hours."

"Four hours?"

"At least. Anyway, we won't be home until later because of the luncheon afterwards."

"Isabel, you're killing me. You women are evil."

"Yeah, yeah, talk to the hand."

Anakin's retort is, "I will." He leaves the room and is just realizing what he has just said. He swings back two seconds later, poking his head in the door. "Nine o'clock tonight, ok?"

"I'll be here."

"Alright! I'm the man! Li-An, eleven months to go. The clock is-a-ticking, my little fat friend."

Isabel interrupts him.

"Anakin…Don't." She nods towards the baby. "Don't gloat or you'll regret it."

"Fine." He leaves the room still happy and performs a one-man rumba line-dance down the hall. Luke sees his father and laughs.

"Getting laid tonight, Dad?"

"Oh be quiet. Go get dressed, we'll be leaving soon."

"I will. I'm waiting for Mara. She is supposed to ride with us. She didn't call me back yesterday."

"You know how women are. They don't want to do the calling. They expect us to do it."

He pats his son on the back. Luke is still concerned. He is getting a bad feeling.

While everyone is getting ready, Luke gets a call to meet Mara in the parking bay. Luke doesn't understand. He agrees to meet her. When he arrives in the Parking bay he notices she is not alone. Mr. Jade is with her.

"Mara, what's going on? Where have you been for the past three days?..." As she appears out of the shadows he is horrified. Her lip is bruised and there is a black and blue mark around her right eye.

"Who did this?"

"I'm sorry, Luke."

"Why are you sorry? Who did this?"

Mr. Jade steps beside his daughter. He is visible shaken.

"Luke, I'm sorry to ask on this occasion but I was wondering if I could speak to your father."

"Of course. What's going on?"

"That Craul and his friends. I warned her they were bad news. I…" Mr. Jade is almost at a lost for words.

Luke goes back inside the house. Isabel's parents and brothers have arrived. Ouisanne is helping Isabel with the baby. Leia is in her room.

Han is in Anakin's study chatting while everyone gets ready. Stefan and Philippe are standing near the window. Mr. Nor walks in and sits in the arm chair. Han sees Luke walking towards the study.

"Dad, we have an emergency. Excuse me, Han. Dad…"

Han places his hand on Luke's shoulder.

"What's going on, Kid?"

Anakin sees the expression on his son's face. He knows something is wrong. Obi-Wan is just arriving. He overhears and joins the other men in the study.

"What's wrong, Luke?"

"Mara and her dad are outside. Dad, she's been hurt."

Anakin sits forward in his chair. "What?"

"Craul and his frat buddies did this. Dad, I'm going after them. They can't get away with this!"

"Luke, you will do no such thing. This is your brother's baptism and you will be in attendance. I don't want you going after Craul."

"But, Dad!"

Obi-Wan interrupts. "Luke, listen to your father. You getting involved will just make things worse."

"Han, take Luke out of here and keep an eye on him."

Anakin waves the door closed and has a 'discussion' with the remaining men in the room. After a few minutes he thinks then speaks to Stefan. "Send them in here."

Mr. Jade enters the study wit his daughter. What Anakin sees angers him. He understands Luke being upset. Mr. Jade nods respectfully to Anakin.

"Good Morning, Mr. Skywalker. I apologize for this but I didn't know what else to do. Your son has been very good to my daughter." He is almost in tears. "Look what those monsters did to my little girl!"

Anakin looks at Mara's face. The bruises are healing but it he can only imagine what her face must have looked like when this horrible thing happened. He is very calm when he speaks to her.

"Mara, why don't you go outside while I speak to your father."

"Yes, Sir." She leaves. The door closes again.

Isabel comes downstairs when she hears Mara's voice. She is appalled when she sees the girl's face. Isabel and her mother take her to the refresher.

Back in the study, Anakin stares at Mr. Jade for what seems to be ten minutes but it is actually only a few seconds.

"We've know each other for years, but this is the first time you come to me for help. I don't remember the last time you invited me to your home. I helped you years ago and this is how you show your respect? I'm on my way to my son's baptism. What do you want from me?"

"Vengeance. They have to pay."

"Why come to me now?"

"I owed favors to the Emperor. I had debts, I had to send my children to school…I wasn't given a choice. Palpatine told me my daughter had to work for him in exchange, my debts would be wiped clean. That's why Mara was suspended from the Jedi Academy. He was being influenced by the dark side. Then she got mixed up with that beast Craul and those other Sith Frat boys. Please, I beg you. I'll do anything."

Meanwhile Isabel's brother Stefan is listening. He takes out his mobile phone and speaks to someone quietly on the terrace.

Anakin ponders for a moment.

"Mr. Jade, I will help you. I just need you to do something for me." He hands Mr. Jade a folded piece of paper. The shaken man takes it and reads it. He looks back at Anakin in disbelief. Anakin waits. If you can't, I will understand..."

"Noo, no, I can do it. I'm just such an odd request. I won't disappoint you."

"You had better not. You can go now. We'll make sure your daughter gets home safe."

"Thank you, My Lord." He nods respectfully to all present. He looks at Obi-Wan who is standing near the door. Beside his favorite leather armchair in Anakin's study. He almost bows before him. "Goodbye, Godfather."

Outside, Isabel and her mother are treating Mara's bruise. Ouisanne applies concealer and helps Mara with her hair. Mara isn't teary anymore, just angry.

"I feel so stupid. I really thought I could reason with him. We used to be friends."

Ouisanne dabs concealer around Mara's lip.

"Honey, that animal was not your friend."

"Isabel, I am so sorry for coming here like this. My father was beside himself. He's fed up with having to answer to the Empire. He wants to get out from their grip."

"Mara, I promise you, the boys who did this will be dealt with. Now let's get ready."

Leia finally makes an appearance after spending the better part of the morning getting ready. She notices Mara and sees a bandage on her wrist.

"What happened to you?"

Back in Anakin's study, the men discuss the incident. This is the first time Anakin has ever included Han in on a discussion such as this. Han is eager to help. Anakin calls in some favors. He has a conference call on the line with several of his "contacts" on the other end.

"Execute Order 620."

The response over the COM was a resounding ,_ "Yes, Sir."_

Anakin switches off the COM connection. He looks around the office at this group of men. They were both friends and family to him now. He pulls away from his desk and stands.

"I have to attend my son's baptism."

At this, the men leave the room. Obi-Wan smiles and pats Anakin on the shoulder.

"Congratulations, Anakin May the Force be with you."

"Congratulations to you, Master. May the Force be with you, Godfather."

Meanwhile, outside the monastery, things are not going well for the Emperor at all. He finally arrives but it is not in _'grand fashion' _as he had expected. His new Imperial stretch limousine airspeeder is too long. It exceeds the length requirement for vehicles parking near a place of worship. He winds up having to walk two blocks in his new brocade robes. Jar-Jar is at his side as well as his two Imperial bodyguards.

Along the barricaded walkway, he is taunted by angry anti-Imperial protestors. These are the same protestors who were present the day of Anakin and Isabel's wedding. They pelt jelly beans at the Emperor and his guards, totally missing Jar-Jar. One of the demonstrators screams at Jar-Jar as Palpatine tries to use him as a shield.

"Hey, you big Gungan! Move out of the way!"

"Whoosa, Meesa?"

"Yeahsa Yoosa! Move!"

"Okiday."

"Thank you!"

"Yousa berry welcome." He waves to the crowd.

As soon as Jar-Jar moves the pelting resumes. The Imperial guards are cowering behind the Emperor. He hits them.

"Guard me! Shield me, you incompetent boobs!" He swings around and becomes entangled in his robes. The crowd roars in laughter. He yells for Jar-Jar but the happy Gungan is busy waving to the crowds and posing for holographs with spectators. Another demonstrator holds up a sign that reads:

'_Windu didn't Jump from the Window!'_

and

'_Sith Conspiracy Still Exists in an Oppressive Government'_

Jar-Jar is blowing kisses and giving the 'Thumbs-up' to protestors burning the Emperor in effigy.

"Ooo, thatsa looka jeesa like Imperial Fussiness only in mini-fussiness size!"

Back at the parked limo, Elan has an electronic boot attached to his ankle. Police are issuing tickets and sticking them on the windshield. Elan is yelling for them to stop. He hobbles out of the vehicle to remove the tickets but the boot charges up and he collapses to the ground from the shock

The Emperor eventually arrives at the chapel bruised and shaken. There is a monk sprinkling holy water as people enter. "Governor Tarkin enters wearing sunglasses and a black cape. He waves 'No' to the holy water. As soon as Palpatine enters, he gets hit with the water.

"Ahhhhhhh . . . ahhhhhhh . . . ahhhhhhh . . .Get that away from me!"

Soon everyone is assembled. Let the ceremony begin and may the Sith hit the fan!

_To be continued… 'ROTG' 'Li-An, I am Your Godfather'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	89. Chapter 89A Baptism Waiting to Happen

_Chapter 89_

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'_ROTG' 'Li-An, I am Your Godfather'_

'_Much Care Should be taken When Choosing a Godparent…'_

'_Jar-Jar the Hero'_

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The Four Force Ghosts have been in the chapel since morning. They were across the plaza at the reception hall checking out the many gifts. Ki-Adi-Mundi walks around the gift table.

"This kid is making out like a bantha! Look at all of this loot."

"Only the best for my little namesake."

"You know, Qui-Gon, we shouldn't spoil him."

"What harm is a little visit going to do every once in awhile? It's only him and Skippy in that nursery. It's our duty to entertain the tyke."

Aayla arranges the gift boxes. "But, he's in there to sleep. He's never going to sleep through the night if we visit him all the time."

"Well, at least he's not crying at two o'clock in the morning."

Mace appears after taking a break to watch the Emperor get pelted and booed.

"Hey, guys, I just witnessed the funniest 'sith' going down outside. Palpatine is getting his ass kicked."

"He's in for more."

"He sure is. There's some major 'sith' going down today. Anakin's mad as hell."

Ki-Adi- Mundi looks over at Mace.

'So, you had a chat with Luke, hey?"

"Yeah, poor kid. I had to talk him down. He was almost in tears."

"Anakin was right to keep him out of that mess concerning Mara."

"True. He seems to be better now."

Aayla calls her three colleagues. "We should be in the chapel. Let's go."

Inside the chapel the Four Ghost take their places. Isabel and Anakin arrive with their children. Mara sits in the family pew beside Isabel's mother. Mrs. Nor places her arm around the teen and gives Mara a reassuring hug. Mara is glad for the support. Yoda sits in the family pew next to Leia.

Nakai has a brief chat with Anakin outside the monastery about the situation prior to entering the chapel. Isabel's brothers had been with them. Everyone is now inside The service begins.

Isabel holds the baby as the Jedi Priest is speaking. Master Adi Gallia and Obi-Wan stand side by side at the baptismal font. Anakin is beside his wife. The Priest addresses Obi-Wan.

"Do you pledge to guide and protect this child if he is left fatherless?" Do you promise to shield him against the Dark side in the Galaxy?"

"Yes, I promise."

At this same time, two blocks from the monastery, T-1000, officer Ponch are standing across the street from the Imperial limousine. Officer Ponch walks across the street and approaches the vehicle. He taps on the fender with his nightstick. Elan jumps nervously as he was busy listening to an Epod he 'borrowed' from one of Craul's buddies.

The officer points to a 'No Parking' sign that was not there when he first arrived with the Emperor. He ignores the officer. Ponch gestures for Elan to roll down the window. After rolling his eyes, Elan finally complies.

"What? I didn't do nothing; I'm not selling death sticks today. Why don't you flat feet back off."

"Are you sassing me, boy?"

"Up yours, flatfoot."

"Ok, tough guy. License and registration."

"Why?"

"Step out of the vehicle, please."

Elan refuses. Finally Officer T-1000 appears. The cyborg cop grabs the driver's side door and rips it off. Elan protests in his lazy half-doped up way.

"Hey, man! You can't do that!"

"Step out of the vehicle."

"Bite me."

Ponch watches in amusement as the cyborg repeats the command.

"Step out of the vehicle."

Elan steps out but only halfway. The cyborg pulls him all the way out. The bolts of dark lightning surge through the body of the novice limo driver. He screams then collapses to the ground in a clump.

Meanwhile, across town, Chewbacca watches as an Imperial speeder pulls up. Asajj Ventress steps out and heads into the Count Dooku Three Seasons Hotel and Casino.

In another part of the city, Commander Cody arrives at the Galaxies Opera House. He checks for anyone in the corridors then proceeds to one of the darkened balcony boxes.

Back at the chapel. The priest is applying holy oils to the infant. Li-An is sleeping but he is annoyed by the disturbance. Anakin holds the baby as this is happening. The Priest speaks.

"…be opened the odor of sweetness, evil and dark side be gone. Welcome in the strength and goodness of the Force"

The Emperor sits in the pew rolling his eyes and muttering to himself. "Silly ritual. Get on with it. I've got things to do today." An old woman behind him pokes him in the back with her cane.

"Shhhhh!"

"Shush yourself you old bat!"

"Mind your manners. You could stand a bit of soul cleansing yourself."

"How did you get here, you old witch?"

"This nice man Admiral Piett brought me. You should be ashamed not to give your own mother a ride."

"I forgot you were still around. And if you poke me again with that divining rod you call a cane, I'll beat you with it."

"Shhh!"

"You shhh first."

A monk walks over to their pew and gestures for them both to be quiet. They both give the monk a dirty look. He holds up a wand filled with holy water. Suddenly there is silence from both mother and son.

"Dantius, step to the side so I can see."

"No. Fend for yourself, you crow."

Old, old Mrs. Palpatine feigns a fainting spell. Two monks approach and quietly force Palpatine to switch seats. She thanks the two monks. The Emperor is still wondering how Jar-Jar got a better seat assignment.

He leans over to whisper to his mother. "Mummy, I think she's cheating on me."

"Who?"

"My delicate 'Blue Angel."

"Oh, '_Moaning Sue_?' High time she left your ass. Commitment fob. Serves you right."

"She said her biological clock is ticking."

"Ticking? More like a gong. She better dig up those thousand year old eggs. She's no spring chicken. More like a buzzard. She needs to eat a sandwich or something. And that hairless look can't be attractive. She needs to purchase a bottle of Monoxohair. Well, if she is seeing someone, he must be pretty desperate himself."

The monk with the wand approaches them again. They stop chatting.

Back at the Opera House, Admiral Motti rises from his seat in the private box.

"Well, there you are, I'm so glad you could make it. You look absolutely ravishing. These flowers are for you."

"Thank you. They're beautiful."

"Blue flowers for a blue lady."

"Do you want to make out?"

"What? Here? This is so sudden."

"Why wait?" She breathes heavily almost frightening him.

"Sly, why don't we enjoy the show first?"

"What about intermission?"

"Uhm…we'll see."

Back inside the chapel. The ceremony continues.

Obi-Wan stands at the font. The Jedi Priest hands him the infant.

"Do you renounce the Sith?"

"I do renounce them."

"And all the works of the dark side?"

"I do renounce them."

At The Count Dooku Hotel

Chewbacca is waiting for his backup. Finally Commander Cody arrives. Chewbacca growls a complaint. Commander Cody shrugs apologetically.

"Hey, I'm sorry, I took the wrong assignment number. It was scary. This has to be better. So, you ready?"

Chewbacca growls then prepares to break down the door. Cody kicks down the door to the hotel room first. Thrawn and Asajj Ventress are in a round honeymoon bed. They are like Sith in headlights. Chewbacca growls. Thrawn scrambles across the bed. Cody screams, Asajj screams. Cody starts shooting. After he runs out of ammunition he is still screaming. Chewbacca puts his hands on his hips and begins gurgling. Finally Cody stops screaming and sinks to his knees. He is out of breath.

"Chewbacca, don't you start judging me, mate. That was downright terrifying. Did you see those two? What was Mother Nature doing when she conjured up this scary couple? They were too ugly to procreate." I'm feeling emotional stressed. "I need a beer. How about you, Chewy, mate?"

"Arrgggggg."

"Yeah, goes double for me. I'm going on holiday after this. Let's get outta here."

They leave the room and place the _'Housekeeping'_ sign on the doorknob. The two 'agents' exit by way of the back stairs.

Back at the chapel. The Jedi Priest dips the now unclothed Li-An in the font. The holy water in the font is warm but Li-An is not happy about this. He thinks it's a bath. The nerve of these people! Humiliated in public too! The priest returns the baby to Isabel. There is a small table to dress the baby. Anakin takes him. After a short prayer the Jedi Priest speaks to Obi-Wan and Adi Gallia.

"Do you wish to be baptized?"

They respond in unison. "I do wish to be baptized."

The priest speaks to the parents as Obi-Wan and Master Adi Gallia each hold a candle. Anakin returns the baby to the priest.

"Name this child."

Isabel responds.

"Li-An Jinn Nakai Skywalker."

Isabel's father is shocked. He was not aware that his daughter and son-in-law were planning to bestow him with this honor. A tear appears from his eye.

"Li-An Jinn Nakai Skywalker, I baptize you in the name of the Father of the Jedi Order Kaja Sinis and of the Force and the Blessed Force Spirits in the Heavens who watch over us all."

The Jedi Priest looks at Anakin and smiles. It has been a long journey for the two to this special day.

After the ceremony, the family gathers for group photos. Lara and her husband Blaise are designated the non-Jedi Godparents but this is s simple service performed a few minutes after the official ceremony. Everyone takes turns holding Li-An. Qui-Gon chats with Adi-Gallia in the parish as the family and guests gather briefly before the luncheon.

"So, Adi Honey…we're kind of sort of related now, huh?" He winks.

"Qui-Gon, don't you ever give it a rest?"

"Mind if I pay you a visit now that we've got something in common?"

"We'll chat."

Isabel is speaking with the priest. She looks around to see who has the baby.

Anakin is speaking to Nakai and Obi-Wan.

"Well, Grand pappy Nor, how's it feel?"

"Anakin, you think of this on your own?"

"Of course I did. So, you have a namesake now."

"I sure do. My own sons didn't even give their sons my name at their baptism. I think our little guy handled himself quite well today."

"He was a little upset about the brief skinny dipping incident but I'm sure he'll get over it."

"I'm looking for my grandson. Who's got him now?"

Across the crowded room, Palpatine grabs Jar-Jar by the arm.

"Pssst. Jar-Jar….follow me."

"Whatsa yousa want now, Imperial creepiness? Jar-Jar trying to schmoose."

The Emperor looks around then pulls Jar-Jar into an alcove of the parish. He is smiling with glee.

"Lookie what I got?"

Jar-Jar watches as the Emperor opens his brocade robe. Inside the lining is an over-sized pocket with lots of white fabric sticking out of it. Something is moving inside. Jar-Jar points and gasps.

"Yousa got Jedi baby….mmmmmphh" The Emperor places his hand over Jar-Jar's mouth.

"Tut tut tu…Shhhh, my Gungan friend. Not so loud." The Emperor is so giddy it is frightening. Jar-Jar tries to speak. His eyes dart around the room. He is frightened. 'Now, I'm going to remove my hand and I want you to promise to be very very quiet." His voice almost resembles Elmer Fudd at this point. He finally removes his hand from Jar-Jar's mouth. It is moist . He wrinkles his nose in disgust then takes a handkerchief and dries it. Jar-Jar manages to whisper but he is shaking and nervous.

"Jar-Jar know yousa evil and cwazy but yousa drunk too?"

"Jar-Jar, this is my answer to eternal life. I finally have a host body. It's young and healthy. It's all mine! Heeheehee! Anakin won't miss him, he's already got those other two over-privileged spoiled brats he never allowed me to bond with. This time I finally have my revenge. That will teach him for not making me Godfather." The baby begins to wake up. Jar-Jar places his hands on his hips.

"Well, super dopey Emperor, yousa forgot something. Hehehee!" He sticks his tongue out at the Emperor."

"And what is that, my idiot friend?" He opens his robe, looks his inside, and waves to the baby. He manages a creepy smile. Li-An squirms and becomes agitated.

"Yousa need to feed little kidnapped baby. Betcha got no diapers either, Mister Smarty dumbass! Yousa gonna be kidnapping his mommie too! Shesa got the milk. Yousa got big inside pocket for her too?"

"Oh shush! I can't think of everything. I'm too busy ruling the galaxy and causing undue misery and pain. If you were a team player, Jar-Jar, you would go back and grab the diaper bag for me…huh? _Puleeze?_"

"Hummph, why should I? Whatsa you ever do nice for Jar-Jar?"

"Uhmmm…you work for me."

"Yousa no piece of cake to work for you know. Thatsa itty bitty baby gonna make big surprise in that new robe soon."

"Fine! You hold him while I snatch the bag off the table. I've got to distract that Gladys. You know she refuses to work for me? The ungrateful stubborn woman."

"Meesa wonder why. Yousa give me baby Jedi and I watch him."

"Ok."

A few moments later he returns with the diaper bag.

"Easier than I thought. Everyone is s busy chatting about how lovely the service was; how Anakin made such a perfect choice in that _'boozie –Wan Kenobi'_ and that snobbish ice queen Adi Gallia. So, we're all se…Jar-Jar, let me have our little golden boy."

"No!" Jar-Jar holds the baby out of Palpatine's reach.

"Jar-Jar, now let's be reasonable…"

"Get back!"

In the main room Anakin is getting frantic when he sees Isabel looking around.

"Anakin, who has the baby?"

Suddenly Anakin hears something. The Priest, Obi-Wan and Master Nejaa Halcyon and Luke rush to the back of the Parish. The Emperor is threatening to use dark lightening on Jar-Jar. The Emperor is cornered.

"Hand me the child, Jar-Jar!" He hits Jar-Jar in the leg with dark lightning. Jar-Jar shields the baby. Obi-Wan holds Anakin back. Master Halcyon catches the Emperor off-guard and knocks him to the ground. An older monk, a retired Jedi knight happens to have a pair of restraints and shackles and returns with them to hold Palpatine. Storm troopers arrive. The Emperor is still screaming. "No Noooo…Nooo! Get off of me!" About 20 Jedi knights arrive to take Palpatine out of the parish. "Oh, crap!"

Anakin walks over to Jar-Jar. "Are you alright?"

"Meesa Okiday."

Three Jedi healers arrive to check Jar-Jar out. They determine that Li-An is perfectly fine. He has fallen asleep. Anakin takes his son and hands him to Isabel. He gently kisses her and gives her a long comforting embrace.

"Isabel, I'm so sorry. I promise this will never happen again." I have to take care of something. You go with the children to the banquet. I'll join you later."

Anakin leaves with Obi-Wan.

Across town, Crawl is found at the music store at the mall. Boba Fett stands opposite the display rack where Craul stands frozen in place. Finally he cracks a smile. There is a large cut on his forehead. He is nervous. Boba just stares at him.

"Hey, Boba. What up?"

"Not much. What's up with you?"

"Waiting for my buddies. The jerks are late as usual."

"That's a nasty gash on your head."

"I've had worse. Why are you here?"

"Who gave you that bruiser?"

"I walked into a door."

Suddenly Anakin walks into the store. "Hey, Craul, you mallrat. How's it going?"

"Alright, Anakin. You?" He tries to avoid eye contact."

"What did you call me?"

"I mean, Lord Vader, Sir."

"That's better. You know, we need to have a talk and come to an understanding." He places his arm around the Zabrak Sith University student.

Craul looks around.

"It's ok. I'm not going to hurt you. Why don't we go outside and chat."

"Uhm…sure."

They are in the main mall together. Boba stays close by.

" Listen, why don't you go back to the frat house. We'll talk there where it's more private. Ok ?"

"Ok, sure."

"Boba here will give you a lift."

"Uhm…my speed bike...is…"

"We'll take care of it for you. You already have a beauty of a bruiser on your head. I don't want you to have an accident before we meet. Ok?"

"Ok."

"We're cool. Go."

On the road near Dex's Diner, Officer T1000, Officer Ponch and Chewbacca notice three Speed bikes with Sith University id stickers on the license plates in the parking lot. Each bike has the frat house emblem on it.

The officers go inside the diner then exit again with three Zabrak men. They are placed in a patrol car and remain parked momentarily. A steam roller arrives shortly after and mows over the three bikes as the three Frat brothers watch in horror. The bikes resemble large license plates. As this happens Officer T1000 turns to the three young men. There is a grin on his face. Officer Ponch, and Chewbacca leave the vehicle. The patrol car starts down an isolated highway. The steamroller is in hot pursuit. On the door of the steamroller there is a stenciled sign in black that reads 'Jade Road and Highway Paving.' Chewy and Ponch go inside the diner for a bite to eat.

Back across town, Palpatine sits in the meeting room of an old boathouse. He is still cuffed. Commander Cody and Admiral Piett are entering the room. Admiral Piett walks over to the Emperor.

"Sir, you had better make that call to Valorum. Anakin's on his way over and he's ready."

"I can't very well dial with my hands bound like this. Surely you can see your way to release me."

"Sorry, Excellency. It's on auto dial and on speaker. You won't need to dial."

"I should have known you'd weasel your way to the top licking Anakin's boots. You spineless twerp."

"Would toy prefer I alert Anakin that you are declining the deal?"

"Fine! Dial." He listens. Suddenly Valorum picks up. The conversation lasts only a few minutes. After the call, Palpatine looks up at Cody and Piett. "See? Done. Now unbind me. Anakin should be happy. He'll get everything he's wanted."

"I trust he will, Excellency."

Palpatine is lead to a waiting transport van. Two Imperial bodyguards stop them. A storm trooper whispers something to Commander Cody. Cody turns to Palpatine.

"Anakin says he'll come in a separate vehicle. He says for you to go ahead."

Palpatine is outraged, "What is this nonsense. As far as I'm concerned, I'm still in charge around here. We had a deal."

Suddenly Boba Fett and several more storm troopers surround Palpatine. Piett steps back.

"My apologies, Sir but I can't go either." Two guards bind Palpatine's feet. An attendant steps from the back of the vehicle with a handheld device and presses it against Palpatine's throat. He almost goes limp but manages to remain standing. He hops around to face Admiral Piett. He knows now he has lost the fight.

"Tell Anakin it wasn't personal…well…actually it was…he never let me around the kids. I always liked young Luke and Princess Leia. I always cared for Anakin like a son."

"He understands that, Sir."

He hops around to Commander Cody. "Commander, can you see your way to get me out of this predicament? I'm just an old man living on a pension hoping to live out my years on Naboo."

"Sorry, mate. Those are the rules. Since when do you start pulling a pension before retirement anyway?"

Palpatine is led to the white vehicle. A second attendant approaches him and slips a straightjacket over him. He begins to whimper and moan. He is strapped in the backseat. The vehicle takes off. About a minute into the ride, someone in the front passenger seat who Palpatine had not noticed turns to face the former Emperor. Palpatine is immediately whacked over the head with a gimer stick.

"Hey, you old goat! Little green friend I am. Ready to see you off to your new destination. Heeheehee! Humm. Want to sing some songs for the road? Sailing…sailing away…forgot the words to that one. How about this?

_When the moon is in the Sith House_

_And Coruscant aligns with Hoth_

_Then peace will guide the planets_

_And love will steer the stars_

_Lalaaalala..lalala_

Hey, what about this one?…you'll love this on…sing along, sing along

Ohhhh,oh, oh, oh, ohhh.

You must have been cold in my Sith shaa-doe…"

"Make him stop, please! Wooooohoohooo…" He cries during the ride to Shady Acres Rest Home. Yoda gives him another whack with the gimer stick.

"Shut up! Big sissy you are."

On the campus of Sith University. Craul is alone in the frat house. He paces nervously then glances at the phone. No calls from his friends. He punches his fist into his palm.

"Finally, we will have our revenge…yeah, that's what I'll tell them, the losers."

He looks out the window. Anakin, Obi-Wan, Stefan, T1000, Chewbacca, Boba Fett and Commander Cody are heading up the walk to the house. Craul opens the door. Obi-Wan approaches the door first. Craul cracks a crooked smile. He figures he can take them all.

"Well, hello, you old Jedi coot!" When he sees Anakin's face, he knows he is in trouble.

"You have to answer for Katja."

The creepy smile on Craul's face fades. He tries to slam the door in their faces then tries to retrieve his double edged lightsaber he inherited from Darth Maul. Anakin Force opens the door. Anakin knocks the sith to the floor before he can retrieve the lightsaber. The men enter the house. Craul manages to scramble to his feet as the men keep coming at him. He tries to grab his lightsaber again. He finally gets up and holds onto his weapon but Obi-Wan just as quickly disarms him. Anakin keeps talking.

"You and your gang of thugs are responsible for her death. She was the only daughter of a dear friend of mine. Then there's that little game you played out with my sons' girlfriend. Did Palpatine fool you into thinking I wouldn't put it all together? You seem to like beating up on girls."

Anakin pokes Craul on the forehead where the fresh cut is starting to heal. He examines the wound then grins.

"Did Mara do that? Ha! She's a petite 'red menace.' I have to hand it to her; the girl knows how to hold her own in a fight. I'm starting to think she may have given you more of a beat down than you gave her. Regardless, she's still a girl. Call me old fashioned but, unless she's evil incarnate; she doesn't deserve what you did. I didn't appreciate your bullying of my son either. I never stepped in because I wanted him to pick his own fights over the years. But you...You're in for a sad future my friend."

Craul is defiant and does not back down.

"I swear I'm innocent. I swear on the life of my frat brothers and Thrawn, our chapter President. I swear on the memory of my uncle. So there!" As Anakin gets closer, Craul can feel his breath. He begins to cower before Anakin. "Mr. Skywalker, please don't do this to me."

Anakin steps away. In a quiet voice, Anakin speaks again.

"Thrawn is dead. So is Asajj, Your frat buddies Krull, Zod and Exar… and Nitti. I want all of this mess settle today. So don't tell me you're innocent; just admit it and say you were wrong"

"Wha..who's Nitti?"

"I have no idea but whoever he was, he wasn't _untouchable_…and yes, he's dead." Anakin smiles as if he is about to hand Craul and olive branch. Don't be afraid. Do you think I would leave your fraternity pledges without a house leader? You know what your punishment is? You're out of the woman-beating business. You're no longer part of the Empire; you know why? It's finished.

I'm done with you. But, Craul, you know what pisses me off? When you insist on telling me you're so innocent that bantha butter will melt in your mouth. It insults my intelligence. Who encouraged you to attack Mara to get at me? Was it Ventress or Thrawn?"

"Ventress."

Anakin pats Craul on the face. "That's all I ever wanted to know. Just one more thing. You are aware that Mara is under-age, don't you? Everything you've ever done with her is punishable by law. But, hey, listen, I can forgive. Her father might not. Commander Cody here is going to take you to Mustafar. He's going to take you to the ship. Go on. We're done here. I'll call your mentor Palpatine to let him know you're on your way. You won't have to worry about Mr. Jade coming after you."

One of the storm troopers takes Craul's luggage and loads it in the vehicle. Craul looks around at the men. He leaves the house and steps into the speeder van. Anakin, Obi-Wan and Stefan remain inside. Craul sits in the front seat. He feels warm breathing behind him. It is Chewbacca. Chewy leans across the front seat to belt Craul in. The sith freaks out and starts struggling. Chewy looks out the window and shrugs. The tattoos on Craul's face turn from red to purple. He begins kicking and fighting. Chewbacca sits back and lets Craul hang himself. The speeder takes off. When it finally comes to a stop, the door opens at the doorstep of an ultra-feminist women's group against domestic violence.

A group of angry women continue to beat the crap out of him.

Anakin is as surprised as the others.

"Well, didn't plan on that happening."

Anakin, Obi-Wan and Stefan pile into a waiting car. They arrive at the banquet. Anakin leans over his wife's shoulder and kisses her. He takes a seat beside her.

Just two blocks away, Elan is being carted away by a police speeder. Twenty-five parking tickets are on the windshield of the Imperial Limo.

Back inside the Banquet hall, Emperor Valorum joins Anakin at the table. Anakin takes Li-An from the bassinet and holds him.

Luke is happy to see that Mara is alright. He knows they will have to talk at another time. Han and Leia sit together with Obi-Wan and Aura. Han holds Leia's hand.

The four Force Ghosts are back at the gift table checking the note cards. They have some thoughts about the gifts.

That evening Anakin finally goes to bed. It is past 10 o'clock. Isabel curls up beside her husband. Anakin holds her.

"I'm sorry about tonight. I can wait another time."

"Why? I'm here."

"So, you are. Well, what are you waiting for, woman? Let's get this party started!" He kisses her.

In the nursery, Qui-Gon is in the rocking chair. Skippy sits at his feet. Qui-Gon is reading to Li-An.

'_Ok, Li-An, this is Part 2….Where did we leave off? Oh, Yeah, _

'So Fredo says, _'I'm your older brother, Mike, and I was stepped over!' _

Michael Corleone responds, _'That's the way Pop wanted it.' _

And Fredo Corleone gets really pissed off, _'It ain't the way I wanted it! I can handle things! I'm smart! Not like everybody says... like dumb... I'm smart and I want respect!'_

_Li-An, this story is a hoot, no wonder you like it so much. You've had quite a day in your very young life…Almost kidnapped by a senile old fool…Had to wear a dress for most of the day…Had an unscheduled bath in front of a hundred people…You could write your own book. So, you sleepy yet? Don't even think of going back to the master bedroom tonight. Mommy and Daddy are doing the horizontal mambo. You're stuck with me tonight. Me and that disturbing 8x10 glossy of your new hero Jar-Jar.'_

_To be continued… 'Papa Ani'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**


	90. Chapter 90 Aftermath

_Chapter 90_

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'_Aftermath'_

'_A New Intergalactic Order'_

'_The Grandfather'_

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Several events occur after the baptism. Most of it for the good. Former Supreme Chancellor Finis Valorum is reinstated as leader of the Republic and Chief Council of the Galaxy. The former legions loyal to the empire are broken up and given the option to work with the Republic to bring peace to the Galaxy or be jailed as traitors.

Luke finally has a talk with Mara after the dust settles. He is somewhat disappointed that she didn't trust him enough to be honest and tell him that she was still spending time with Craul and his crew.

Anakin suggested to his son, quite tactfully, that perhaps the two teens should cool it for awhile until Mara knows what her true feelings are for Luke. He also thinks it is important for Mara to complete her term of Jedi Padawan training. Anakin further stressed to Luke the importance of proving himself worthy of his new station in life as an apprentice to Master Nejaa Halcyon and his internship with the Jedi Council. Luke is reminded how crucial it is for him to learn and understand the inner workings of the Council, especially if he is to become a Master. This internship is a great honor and posts are not awarded regularly, only at graduation.

After lecturing to Luke about how lucky he is, Anakin is pleasantly surprised when Luke does not fight him about it. Gee, that was easy! This talk makes Anakin wishes he had not been so stubborn when Obi-Wan sponsored him as a young boy. Anakin is so grateful that Padmé passed her 'logic and patience' genes on to their son. He is thankful that he found Isabel to reinforce this behavior.

His beautiful and understanding wife decides to spend some time visiting her parents while Anakin accepts a traveling assignment from Supreme Chancellor Valorum to Corellia. Anakin, in turn enlisted the help of a scruffy nerfherder to assist him in investigating illegal tariffs on goods passing through customs. Anakin had not done much diplomatic work for the Empire. Palpatine referred to the Empire's tactics as 'diplomatic.' It was diplomacy with an 'Iron Fist' of a certain Dark Lord.

While meeting with Valorum to discuss this assignment, Anakin was asked where he thought he could fit in under the new administration. Valorum wants to offer the former Jedi a high-ranking position in the Executive Office. He would be given full control of managing the officers from Palpatine's regime. Anakin agrees to think it over. Valorum meets with him a few more occasions prior to accepting the Corellian assignment.

"So, Anakin, please sit. Family life suits you."

"I like it. How does it feel being back at your post?"

"I would say it's like old times but I wouldn't consider my first term as Chancellor my most defining moment in politics."

"Well, you weren't totally to blame for that."

"I made mistakes. I don't intend on repeating them. I would like for you to stay on board, Anakin."

"I would like to. Thank you for thinking of me. I leave it up to you. I do have a secretary I would like to keep employed."

"Well, I have no problem with that. You have my approval to hire a new staff because you have earned a position here after all you have done over the years to help clean house. You have taken a great risk, Anakin."

"It has taken a while but we accomplished what we wanted."

Anakin knew that should he accept the position he would still have to deal with the likes of Motti, Tagge and Tarkin just to name a few. This is actually a good thing. He gets to mess with their heads everyday. He's glad to have them around. After going home to discuss the matter with his wife, something he has never done in the past, Anakin returns to Valorum's office to give him his answer.

"Do I get to keep my office?"

Valorum smiles. "Of course."

"Then I accept." The two men shake hands. That was the determining factor in Anakin's decision to remain on board. He had a great view of the Jedi Temple, his wet bar and margarita machine was nicely set up for 'entertaining clients,' and his newly redecorated personal refresher was ready for baby visits. And most important of all, his confidant and fasted typist was just outside his door. Oh, and he liked all those Anger Management Achievement certificates. They look great on the door. Just knowing that they are there leaves him feeling a great sense of accomplishment. He doesn't want to change a thing.

Anakin wastes no time addressing the officers then speaking to each one privately. Grand Moff Tarkin is one of the first of the senior officers to have a 'sit-down' with the new 'Boss.' He is given an offer he can't refuse. When Tarkin heard the conditions, color almost came to his face. It's too bad Count Dooku is undead dead. He would have loved to have seen the two _'bat_-tle' it out with flying cape fashion show or compete for the pastiest skin in the Galaxy along with Tion Medon. They would really _'vamp' _things up. Sweet!

To avoid being sent to the blazing desert of Tatooine to run the blood drive and managing the Dune Sea Beach Patrol staff, Tarkin said he would prefer to stay on and work with Anakin on the transition team. He was quite content with his dark side office with the painted windows. He wasn't looking forward to reporting to Anakin but the other choices just wouldn't do.

A crane arrives early one morning to remove the 'Darth Plagueis the Wise' monument. It is immediately transported to the Shady Acres Rest Home. The monument faces Palpatine's room at the retirement facility. The maintenance crew arrives to clean up the graffiti-plagued statue.

Leia is doing part-time internship at the Galactic Senate while attending the Mon Mothma School of Political Science. Anakin warned his daughter that he would only pay her tuition as a day student because he did not want to encourage wild campus parties and using a dorm room as her personal 'dating chamber.' He said he would prefer to see her darling face at the dinner table each night.

Across town, Obi-Wan, Adi Gallia, Yoda and the rest of the Jedi Council are present for the private unveiling of the restored areas of the Jedi Temple that were devastated 18 years ago when the heavy hand of the Empire crushed the Republic.

The Jedi Council and a few dignitaries are being led through the newly renovated Archive Room designed by the architect who designed has a new state-of-the-art filing system with a tamper-proof filing system.

Luke has been invited to accompany his Mentor Nejaa Halcyon. This is another rare event for any new Jedi Knight. Master Halcyon is walking with Master Gallia, they are chatting on the way. The group passes through the library area. Students and Jedi professors are sprinkled around the large room studying or doing research for classroom assignments. He sees Mara Jade at one of the tables. She is studying. Luke glances at his watch and decides he has a few minutes to spare until the speaker is ready to address the officials. He walks over to the table.

"Studying for mid-terms?"

Mara is staring at the data cards and shuffles them nervously in her hands. The copper nail polish she usually wears is now gone. Her nails are clean of any cosmetics. She had turned a new leaf since registering for the new semester. Without looking up, she finally answers Luke.

"Oh, hi. Aren't you supposed to be someplace right now?"

"I am but I have a few minutes. How are you?"

"Ok." She turns her head slightly as if to look up at Luke but she has yet to make direct eye contact with him. Heaven knows she wants to. Mara still felt ashamed that she had somehow betrayed him. How could someone so good and kind associate with a traitor? She had been selfish and untrustworthy. What makes this whole ugly incident worse is that Luke had forgiven her. It made her uncomfortable.

For Luke, he was angry a first once he found out why Mara got into that ugly scuffle with Craul but he knew Mara didn't have many friends…close ones anyway. He knew also that he still cared for her and she needed someone on her side. Mara abhorred pity but she found it difficult to be angry with Luke.

Luke sneaks a peek atone of the cards she is holding.

"You have Professor Fisto's class. Don't panic, He's not as tough as everyone says."

"Thanks, Luke. Well…I had better get back to my studying."

"Oh, right. Well, good luck.'"

"Thanks for your help."

"Anytime. Bye, Mara."

"Bye, Luke."

Luke backs away and heads for the Archive room. The Jedi Council is gathering for the private opening. Luke finds his place beside Master Halcyon. Yoda is standing several feet away from the young Jedi Knight. He is watching Luke. The two exchange glances. Master Yoda nods then looks over at the Architect. Luke knows that he is being watched. He knows he had better be on his best behavior. He has to live up to the hype of the most honored Padawan graduate cum Jedi Knight. He can't mess up unless he wants his dad ride his ass until he makes master. That would be embarrassing. Luke had never heard of any Jedi Master making his or her way to this level by way of an ass-kicking by a parent. Anakin promise his son he would gladly oblige should his little surfer-boy son start to show signs of slacking off. Luke saw this as an incentive to behave himself.

Back across town at the Nor house, Isabel barely gets in the door when her father scoops Li-An from her arms.

"Ah! There's my boy!"

Isabel is quite insulted. She shows him she can be just as cool but he doesn't seem to notice.

"Hello, Dad, I'm fine, how are you?"

"Oh, hi, honey. Good to see you." He barely looks at his daughter after taking the infant. Ouisanne rolls her eyes then smiles.

"Don't mind him. He's thrilled to see you…really."

Nakai removes the baby from his bunting holds him over his head and coos at him. Isabel raises her hand to get his attention. "Daddy, Daddy, if you hold him up like that he'll spit up on you."

"Nonsense. He would never do such a thing to his Pop-pop."

"He does it to Anakin all the time." She wishes she had not blurted this out.

Nakai smiles at the baby. "So, he got Anakin, did he? Figures." He chats to the baby. "Now why aren't we surprised? Your daddy is a dumbass. Yes he is. Yes he is!" He speaks to his daughter again without facing her. His full attention is on the baby. "Well, that husband of yours isn't exactly the sharpest tack in the box."

"Anakin is a good man."

"Yeah, but he's not a genius. Took him 10 years to marry you."

"Oh, right; as if you would have given your consent."

"Since when did you obey me?...tut!" He interrupts her before she has a chance to speak. "You could have gone ahead and married the bum."

"Oh, now he's a bum? He's not totally anger-free, Dad. He can still choke you for bad-mouthing him."

"Well, he was a bum then. He wasn't exactly an angel. Sneaking behind my back like a coward dating you…" He smiles at the baby. Li-An smiles back. "Yes, who's the man? Wuugie wuugie wuugie!"

"You are such a hypocrite. I thought you two were friends."

"We are. Took you two dummies 10 years to give me a grandchild."

"Oh, Daddy, please!"

He mocks her. _"Oh, Daddy, please!" _He takes the baby into the den. Isabel follows them. He is dismissing everything his daughter is saying. "Your mommy is being disrespectful to 'Pop-pop'. Yes, look at you, you're a big boy now! You can pull up. Strong little guy. And what a nice big smile! Yes! Googie googie goo! How big is the baby? How big is the baby! Sooo…big!" Li-An grabs hold of his grandfather's hands and pulls himself up. The big toothless grin grows wider. He loves being fussed over by Nakai. "You love Pop-pop, don't you?"

Isabel rolls her eyes and leaves them. She sits with her mother in the kitchen. They chat over some freshly-brewed Bimmisari tea.

"Your father ignored you, didn't he?"

"Yes. It's as if I don't exist anymore."

"He's just smitten by that little baby in there. Of course he loves his other grandchildren but this is the best gift he's ever received from his only daughter."

"Let's see how he feels when Li-An drops a little gift in that Ewok diaper."

"Oh, Isabel, you don't know your father. He's full of surprises."

"So, has he been making you crazy being at home so much?"

"No. It's not so bad. He's at the Monastery at the beginning of the week helping out with the food drive. He's been keeping busy. He's happy as a clam."

"I see. Anakin has been busy there too…helping out…"

The two women look at one another.

"They're up to something, aren't they?"

"When Anakin returns from his trip, I'm going to interrogate…..I'll ask him about how he spends his time serving God and the needy."

"Are you sure? We could be wrong. The friars would have kept a watchful eye on them."

"My husband is quite resourceful, Mother. That sweet face doesn't fool me. He's a little too eager to attend Mass lately."

"You do have a point. Your father practically shoves me out of the door on Sundays."

"Those altar boys are going to be singing the blues when I get through with them."

"Are we being too cynical? Maybe they have seen the light."

"Don't bet on it. The only light they know comes from a lightbulb. "

Uptown at the driveway of the monastery a cargo ship from Corellia opens its hatch. The driver jumps out and rings the buzzer. A young Friar appears at the door. The driver reads his manifest. He steps back and looks up at the building.

"Do I have the right address? This order don't look right."

The friar reads the document.

"Eight slot machines, two sabacc tables, ten chairs, a roulette wheel… yes…this is ours."

"Ok…" He calls back to someone inside the ship. "Alright, haul ass! This is the place!" He looks back at the friar. "You guys having some sort of charity raffle?"

"More or less."

"God bless you. Looking out for the needy." Eight worker droids start unloading the cargo.

The _'Needy' _ consists of a former Sith Lord, a former smuggler, an general from Cloud City turned entrepreneur, a pit officer, a cloned bounty hunter and a semi-retired ship and small water craft builder.

'_Laissez Bon Temps Roule!'_

_To be continued… 'Hey, Nineteen'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**


	91. Chapter 91 Wildlife FX

_Chapter 91_

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'_Midnight Confessions and Ghostly Babysitters'_

'_Wildlife Sound FX'_

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Li-An is growing into a plump happy infant. He is no longer the vulnerable little newborn. The happy and alert little cherub notices everything around him. He is fussed over round the clock.

Isabel is amazed how good he has been at night in the nursery. Anakin knows better. Li-An is holding 'court' before his four loyal subjects who have been at one with the Force for over 18 years. One evening, Anakin waits until Isabel is asleep before going into the nursery to catch Li-An's Force Ghost fan club.

"Well, look what we have here. No wonder my son is so happy at night. He's having a God Damned party in here. Skippy, what sort of watchdog are you? Don't hide under the crib, you coward! What's next, a puppet show?"

Qui-Gon rocks in the chair._ 'Oh, Ani, relax. He loves the company.'_

"Guys, he's not supposed to have company. He should be sleeping. He's a baby!"

'_He sleeps. We make sure he does. We're not idiots, Ani, like everybody says. We're smart. We know he needs his sleep. We deserve some credit.'_

Anakin rolls his eyes. He looks in the crib. Li-An is sucking on his pacifier and manages a muffled coo as Qui-Gon tips his head from side to side as if imitating the little Ewok gestures. The Force Ghost is barely listening as Anakin rambles on.

"Mace, you're usually the voice of reason around here. Why are you encouraging this?"

'_I'm just waiting here for Qui-Gon.'_

"For what? Where do you have to go? You have an appointment?"

'_Don't start copping an attitude, Anakin. We can stay here all night if you start mouthing off.'_

"What? This is my house!"

'_Will you shut up? You want that little eating machine to go to sleep, don't you? I hope this kid learns to walk early; at the rate he's going he'll be a little fatty.'_

"He's not fat…just festively plump."

'_It looks good on him now but I hope he thins out by the time he's two.'_

"He's the perfect weight for his size."

'_If he's a bowling ball…in zero gravity.'_

"Listen, Ki-Adi, Aayla, Mace, Qui-Gon…visiting hours are over. My son needs to go to sleep."

Aayla walks over to the crib and smiles at the baby. Li-An smiles and his pacifier drops from his mouth. Aayla reinserts it for him.

'_Ok, my little angel, you have you sleep now. Your daddy is laying down the law. He's kinda cranky tonight.'_

Ki-Adi Mundi waves to the infant and glides his hand over the mobile. The music starts to play as the little Ewoks rotate above Li-An's head.

'_Good night, little guy.'_

Mace smiles into the crib. _'Goodnight, Chubs.'_

Qui-Gon gets up from the rocking chair. He looks at the baby.

'_Li-An, tell your old man to lighten up. He's too young to be a curmudgeon.' _Li-An coos. Qui-Gon looks under the crib._ 'Hey, skip, what's up dawg? See you later.'_

Skippy pants and lets out a happy yelp. He looks up at Anakin then bows his head in shame... He thinks Anakin is going to scold him but his master grins.

"It's ok, Skippy. Come on out. Say goodnight to your accomplices."

After the four ghosts leave, Anakin takes the baby and sits in the rocking chair. He rocks the baby to sleep. This barely takes five minutes. Li-An is back in his crib. Anakin quietly leaves the room. He gives Skippy a wink then closes the door.

Anakin starts down the hall back and heads back to the master bedroom. Suddenly he hears the baby. Anakin is building to a slow boil. Turning about-face, he returns to the nursery.

"Those guys! I told them…" He storms through the door and shouts to surprise uninvited guest. "Aha! I have you now!"

Suddenly Li-An begins to cry. Anakin looks around. The room is empty. Skippy stands beside the crib watching Anakin make a fool of himself. Isabel's voice can be heard over the baby monitor.

"Anakin? What are you doing? Leave him alone or he'll never go to sleep on his own. Stop disturbing him. Do you need me to come in there?"

Anakin curses under his breath.

"No. We're fine…he's fine. How are you?"

"What? Come back to bed. You're going to wake everyone. Leia has an exam tomorrow."

"Ok…I thought…nothing…"

"Leave the baby alone and come to bed."

"Alright" He responds with clenched teeth muttering the whole time. "Woman riding my ass…"

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm coming to bed now."

Anakin pats the baby until he is calm again then heads back to bed. Isabel reaches over and caresses his back as he lay in bed.

"Anakin, what's wrong with you, sweetie?"

"I've got to be more trusting, Bel. (Sigh) I'm ok. Everything is just fine."

"Let me help you get back to sleep. You poor thing."

She gently kisses his shoulder.

"That's not helping…I have stress."

Isabel kisses his hand. Anakin still complains.

"You're getting closer but the stress ain't in my hands."

"Show me where it hurts. Where's your stress?"

"You're playing dumb, right?"

"Don't cop an attitude with me, mister. I'll let you suffer all night."

"Sorry, Madame."

While Anakin is in late night_ 'physical therapy,'_ Mace, Qui-Gon, Ki-Adi and Aayla are back in the nursery. Aayla turns off the monitor. Mace is laughing.

'_Wait, I never heard this before.'_

Qui-Gon giggles. _'Isn't that a hoot? He sounds like bull moose!' _The baby is on his lap in the rocking chair. Li-An pulls up and smiles at the Force Ghost.

Ki-Adi wags his finger scolding them._ 'We shouldn't be eavesdropping. This monitor is for listing to the baby. Anakin's going to be mad as hell. He'll be back. Mark my words.'_

'_They aren't thinking about the baby right now. Isn't that right, Li-An? Mommy and Daddy are too busy for the baby. It's all about them. Yes! Look at Uncle Ki-Adi over there. 'Mark my words! The end is near! Ahhh, my god, we're all going to die!' Hehehehe! Isn't he a funny guy? He's such an alarmist. Look at Auntie Aayla and your Uncle Mace eavesdropping. Shame on them.' _

Mace laughs. _'Be quiet, Qui-Gon, you started this. None of us even thought about listening in until you told us. Anakin sounds more like a Nexu or a bobcat. This sith is funny as hell!' _

They listen. Aayla giggles. _'This is so wrong but it's funny. You can barely hear Isabel over those growls. I can't listen anymore. This is so wrong. He's going to be furious.' _She listens more intently along with Mace. The two are laughing hysterically. Aayla imitates Isabel crying out like a maiden in distress. Mace slaps his knee and laughs harder.

Qui-Gon grins as he continues to play with the baby. _'Daddy won't be back tonight. No he won't. He's in Nexu heaven right now. He won't be back in commission until 7a.m.'_

Ki-Adi Mundi is sitting close to the monitor with Mace and Aayla. He thinks for a moment.

'_You know, he does sound more like a bull moose. Very disturbing. You think he'll ban us from the twins' 19th birthday party?'_

Qui-Gon laughs.

'_He can't ban us. We're the life of the party. He should be honored to have us there.' _He continues to play with Li-An. _'You're laughing at the bull moose, aren't you? Yes. Daddy is a mad man!_ Qui-Gon imitates a popular wildlife narrator._ 'From the jungles of Yavin4 to the rainforests of Felucia, we have sightings of the every elusive Dark Lord of the Jungle. Crikey! What a monster!'_

_To be continued… 'Hey Nineteen'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**


	92. Chapter 92 Hey, Nineteen

_Chapter 92_

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'_Hey Nineteen' _

'_Mrs. Jade, Are you Seducing Me?'_

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Luke and Leia had celebrated their birthday on Naboo with their grandparents, aunt and cousins.

It was the Naberrie's turn this year. Although no longer bound by the courts to do it, Anakin allowed the twins to celebrate with Jobal and Ruwee. The night before Anakin and Isabel had taken Luke and Leia out to dinner for an intimate family celebration before they leave for Naboo. Obi-Wan joins them.

The four Force Ghosts offered to baby-sit but Anakin was not ready for them just yet. He insults them by making an off-handed remark implying that he wasn't that desperate. Anakin will soon regret his lack of tact when dealing with the four would-be babysitters.

Isabel's parents take Li-An for the evening. Skippy returns to his former master. Nakai reminds him what a little turncoat he is. Daddy's Little Hellraiser joins Skippy in guarding the baby. Nakai gives him a stern look.

"And don't you get any ideas about running away from home to join that Skywalker circus across town."

Now, a month later, Anakin has rented the banquet hall for a huge celebration. Luke and Leia have already sent out their invitations. Leia wanted the event at the house but her father thought about it and decides all of Luke and Leia's shiftless friends should be as far away from _620 Faleen Hyper Drive _as possible. He also wants to avoid boys and girls getting together in guestrooms and behind Felucia lemon tree plants to 'explore' one another's _'attri__but__es'_ and_ '__ass__ets.'_ He was never so preoccupied with sex when he was their age. Obi-Wan is sitting with him when he makes this 'claim.' The old master pretends to sneeze.

"_Ah...bull sith!"_

Anakin turns. "Bless you, Master."

"Thank you, Anakin…allergy season."

The droids are invited. They discuss their gifts. Threepio scoffs at the little astromech droids' choice of gifts for the twins.

"Really, Artoo, what is Master Luke going to need with a tool kit?"

Artoo responds with several terse beeps. Threepio answers in a huff.

"…To take on his ship during his assignments? Well, I got him a set of data chips programmed with Bocce phrases. And for Princess Leia, I'm giving her a book on _'Etiquette and the Rebellious Teen.'_"

Artoo giggles.

"What's so funny, you little malfunctioning twerp? What do you mean she's going to kick my ass? Well, no matter…there's also a chapter on how to accept gifts graciously."

All of the twin's friends head over to the party. A separate reception room is set aside for the parents and other adult guests. As the guests file in, everyone notices that Luke is absent.

Luke is across town knocking on the door of the Jade home. Maggie Jade, Mara's mother answers the door.

"Good evening, Mrs. Jade. How are you? I'm Luke Skywalker; I'm here to see Mara."

"Oh, come on in, honey."

Maggie Jade is the typical mall wife. She has the same beautiful red hair but wears it salon-big. She is dressed in spandex pants and high heel slippers. Prior to answering the door, she had been flipping through her weekly stack of fashion magazines and intergalactic tabloids. She has an insatiable fascination for celebrity. She is just finishing her cosmos cocktail when Luke arrives at the door. She calls up the stairs.

"Mara! You have a gentleman caller!" She is trying to be funny. As she turns to smile at Luke; there is a twinkle in her green eyes with the same brilliance as her daughter's but with more mascara than she needs, even still, she is a beautiful woman. Luke could imagine Mara in 18 to 20 years. This could be Mara without the proper guidance and a fashion consultant. A chill runs up his spine. He thought he could still run while he is still close to the front door. Maggie winks at Luke then sets her empty martini glass on the table. She taps her brightly lacquered nails on the railing.

It is a rare event for Mara's friends to be so polite and well-groomed. Mrs. Jade was used to Craul and his frat brothers stopping by all hours of the evening and hanging around past bedtime until Mr. Jade asks Mara to have them leave. Mrs. Jade hadn't seen the boys around for a couple of months and Mara hasn't been talking about them lately. Mrs. Jade has no clue that these same young men had hurt her daughter. Vic didn't want to explain because his wife would just get out of control and make matters worse. All she knew is that Mara got into a scuffle with someone.

Luke stands patiently in the living room door. He is somewhat embarrassed. Maggie Jade turns to the newly-appointed Jedi Knight and flashes another smile.

"Don't be shy, Honey, I won't bite you. Have a seat, sunshine."

Luke backs up near the recliner belonging to Mr. Jade. He sits and waits. Maggie yells upstairs again.

"Mara? Sugar, what's taking you so long? This nice young boy is waiting for you!"

Mara answers her mother in a terse whisper. Luke hears her.

"Al-right, Mom, I heard you!"

"Well, what in the blazes are you doing up there?"

"I said…I'll be down in a minute!"

Luke can sense the mother-daughter tension. He feels sorry for Mara and thinks his being there is making things worse.

Mara is in her room wrapping gifts. Her invitation is pinned to the mirror on her dresser. She never sent an RSVP. She takes a look at herself in the mirror and sweeps a lock of hair away from her face. Taking a deep breath, she grabs the two packages and heads out of her room. She wishes he had not come over.

Maggie turns to glance at Luke. The poor birthday boy feels as if he is a birthday cake about to be devoured.

"Can I get you a refreshment, sweetheart? A beer, cosmos?"

'Oh, thank you, no. I'm fine."

"You know you're as cute as your daddy. How is he?"

"Oh, he's fine, thanks."

"What a handsome man. Your stepmother treating him alright?"

"Uhm…sure."

"That's nice. He sure likes the smart girls."

Things can't possibly get anymore uncomfortable for Luke as they are right now.

Finally Mara comes downstairs. Luke stands. Mara looks beautiful but she's not dressed to go out. Maggie sits across from Luke with her legs crossed. The fluff on the high-heeled slippers moves in wisps as she swings her foot.

"Well, it's about time! This sweet boy has been waiting so patiently for you." She checks out Luke's posterior.

Mara rolls her eyes.

"Hi, Luke."

"Hi, Mara."

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to pick you up and take you to the party."

"Well, I wasn't planning on going."

"Mara, it's not a party without you. All of our friends will be there. My parents are expecting to see you."

"I won't be much fun. Oh, I have gifts for you and Leia." Mara hands him the gifts wrapped in brightly-colored tissue. She is not the best gift wrapper. They have been hastily put together and tied with lots of curl ribbon to cover the tape where the delicate paper has torn.

"You'll have to give Leia her gift in person. I'm not your messenger."

"Come on, Luke. Don't do this to me."

Maggie chimes in as she nurses a new cosmos. "Mara, didn't I teach you better than that?"

"Mom! Geez!"

"Sorry."

"Listen, Luke, I'm sorry for not responding but I just can't go tonight. I'm not even dressed."

"Come as you are."

"No. I know that everyone at that party looks fabulous."

"You look fabulous."

"Don't act desperate, Skywalker."

"My parents are expecting to see you. What am I going to tell them?"

She lets out a sigh.

"Will you stop embarrassing me if I go?"

"Maybe."

"Give me a few minutes."

She runs upstairs. Maggie is excited for her daughter.

"Mara, honey, you need my help? I can fix you up real nice."

"No! thanks."

Maggie returns and smiles sheepishly at Luke. Luke is glad Maggie stays where she is. Mara would wind up looking like a Mos Eisley hooker.

Mara returns. She is wearing a white lace dress over low rider blue jeans and gold gladiator sandals with a heel. He can see where Mara gets her fashion sense from but she actually looks nice. Maggie rushes over to inspect her daughter and nods with cautious approval. Mara swears she will slap her mother if she says anything stupid to embarrass her.

"You cleaned up real nice, honey."

"Thanks, mom…I think."

"You kids have fun. Luke, give ol' Maggie a hug, Sugar." Luke was hoping this wouldn't happen. Maggie grabs him. "You've gotta give your aunt Maggie a better hug than that, Honey. Now give me a real hug."

Mara looks everywhere possible to avoid watching Luke get groped by 'Mrs. Maggie _'Robinson.'_

Maggie grabs his face in her hands.

"Ooh, Sugar, your hair smells so nice. Mara, smell his hair. It's so clean and shiny. Doesn't it smell nice?"

"Yeah, he's a clean guy. Mom. Mom, we have to go. You're embarrassing him."

"Ok. You too kids have a great time now. Luke, Honey, you come over anytime. You're always welcome here."

"Thank you, Mrs. Jade."

Mara shoves Luke though the front door. They head to his speeder. She whispers to him as she carries the gifts.

"Luke, I'm so, so sorry."

"I've never been felt up by someone's mom before."

"She means well. She's really a good person."

"So it's just you and your mom home tonight?"

"My little brother is having a sleepover with a friend from school; my older brother is working at the data chip factory in Coco Town near Dex's diner."

"Ohh, yes. I know where that is."

"My, Dad is out with his buddies. So, it's me and my Mom until my Dad gets home."

"See, you needed to get out of the house tonight."

"I think you're right. Thanks Luke."

"You're quite welcome, Mara."

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_To be continued… 'Party over Here…Party Over There'_


	93. Chapter 93 Party Over Here

_Chapter 93_

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Party over Here…Party Over There'_

'_The Farmer's Wife Ties One On'_

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The live band is warming up in the main room. The guests are starting to file in. Leia goes into the private dining area in the back. Seated are Lando Calrissian and his wife Tendra Risant, Obi-Wan and Aura, Nejaa Halcyon and his wife, Uncle Owen and Beru.

A server carrying a drink tray approaches Owen. The man greets the curmudgeonly farmer with a smile.

"And what will you have, Sir?"

"Not so fast. How much are you charging here?" Owen prepares to check his wallet.

"Everything is complimentary tonight, sir."

"Free or with a 90 percent tip?"

"Free, sir."

"Oh…ok...uhm; I'll have a Caamas straight up. Can I see the bottle before you pour it?"

The beverage server is caught off-guard by this request. "But of course sir."

Owen leans over and whispers to his wife. The waiter is still standing there and hears everything that the gruff farmer is saying.

"You've got to watch these guys and make sure they don't try to pull anything on us; the management has them pour the drinks at the bar so you never know if the bartender is serving you the good stuff or the bargain generic whisky. You have to get your money's worth."

The waiter rolls his eyes then turns to Aunt Beru. "…And, Madame what will you have?"

Owen interrupts, "She's not a whisky drinker."

Beru looks up at the patient man and gently touches his arm. "Can I have Tatooine 2 Sunrise?"

"Of course you may, Madame." Beru taps him on the arm. "Yes, Ma'm?"

"Would it be possible to get one of those cute little umbrellas on the side of the glass? I always see that on the Solar Soap Operas on the holovid. It looks so elegant."

Owen interrupts again, dismissing her frivolous request. "Beru, that's all fantasy. Those things don't exist. Don't be silly."

The beverage server looks at Beru and smiles. "Why, yes we do have the little umbrellas. So, that's one Caamas straight up, with bottle, and a Tatooine 2 Sunrise with an umbrella. I'll get that straight away for you, Sir, Madame."

"Thank you" Beru is excited.

Owen gives a belated, "Thanks." He then glances at Beru. "You watch too many programs on that thing at home. I don't know why those kids bought you that plasma. You can barely get your chores done as it is. One soap opera after another! People don't live like that in real life you know. There are no long lost loves that are finally reunited, no long lost children and people aren't sleeping around all the time and no corporate rivals or political takeovers. It's a bunch of Bantha fodder.

Anakin is chatting with Lando and Obi-Wan when Leia walks in the room. Isabel is in the hall on the cell phone talking to her mother about the baby. Apparently, Li-An has the hiccups and he is uncomfortable and crying.

Leia takes her father aside after greeting everyone then politely excuses herself for interrupting. Anakin looks into her eyes.

"What is it, pumpkin?"

She has her fathers' undivided attention. Anakin is watching through the glass wall, that separates the larger banquet room from the private dining area.

"Daddy, Luke's not here. I don't want to start without him."

"He'll be here soon. Relax. Go enjoy your friends. The party is just starting. You look beautiful tonight, Leia."

"Thanks, Daddy."

Anakin stares through the glass as he listens to his daughter.

"But what he heck is that Rocca Tachi wearing? Did her parents see her leave the house tonight?"

"Daddy…don't start."

"I'm just saying…it's pretty tight and way too short."

"Daddy! You're checking out my friends?"

"No! That _Is Not_ what I was doing. As a parent I have concerns."

"She's my friend. Why don't you stay in your little hermetically sealed room? You rented this room on purpose, so go reminisce about the old days with your gambling buddies.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing. Besides, you promised not to interfere. Isn't there a curtain or some sort of drape to cover up these windows? We don't want you spying on us."

"No one is spying on you. You're paranoid. If you're behaving yourself, spying should be the least of your concerns" He glances out at the teens gathering at the tables. He is trying to be discreet but Leia knows he is checking for inappropriate behavior. She grabs his chin and makes him face her.

"Daddy, don't embarrass me in front of my friends tonight, please? Just stay in here with your friends."

"Fine…that's what I was going to do anyway…" Anakin sees Han take a chair to sit beside Lando. "Hey, Solo, what are you doing in here?"

"Uhm, oh, Good evening sir, I didn't see you there. How's it going?"

"What are you doing here?"

Han points to Lando. "Just chatting…mingling."

"Aren't you a guest of my_ young_ daughter? I thought you enjoyed hanging out with teens so much, you'd be more at home out there."

Han rolls his eyes. He is not sure if Anakin is playing with his head or not. He remains sitting. Anakin stands over Han with his arms folded and smiles like the little devil he can be sometimes. Han smiles up at him.

"You're kiddin' me, huh?"

"I kid you not, my Corellian smuggling friend."

Leia intervenes.

"Come on, Han. Don't encourage him."

"In a minute, Leia."

"Han! Come on!"

Anakin flashes that charming grin. "Run along, your _'boss'_ is calling you."

"Lando, I'll talk to you later, pal

"Sure thing, Han old buddy."

Suddenly Han smiles and turns his attention to someone else. It is Isabel. She is standing behind her husband as she returns from her phone conversation with her parents.

"Han! So good to see you. You look very handsome tonight."

"Thank you Mrs. Skywalker." He stands and takes her hand to kiss it. Anakin's eyes almost burst out of his skull. Han continues to speak. He lathers on the charm and lingers purposely to spite Anakin who is watching Han very cautiously. "You look absolutely marvelous as usual."

"Han, just because I'm married, you don't need to be so formal but thank you."

Anakin thinks he will throw up as he listens to this dribble. He cannot believe his wife is entertaining the smuggler.

"I wouldn't be so presumptuous…Isabel." He turns his head and looks at Anakin. He flashes his own charming smile. Lando lowers his head and starts to chuckle. Obi-Wan holds his glass out for the server to refresh his drink. Lando and Obi-Wan are enjoying this moment. Han receives a kiss and warm embrace from Isabel. He reciprocates as he puts his arms around Isabel. Anakin is checking the positioning of the nerfherder's hands. Leia stands in the doorway giggling. She thinks Han's antics are hilarious but hopes he is smart enough to know when to stop or risk being Force-choked for the umpteenth time.

Isabel steps back but has her hands on Han's shoulders. "Han, please stop in again. I would love to chat with you. We've all been so busy lately. Promise me you'll stop by later. Anakin and I would enjoy your company." Anakin glares at her as if she has lost her mind. Han loves this. He sees Anakin becoming almost spastic.

"Why, thank you, Isabel. I would like that very much." He smiles over at Anakin once more. "I'll see you in a bit." He looks around approvingly at the elegant private dining room. "This is a beautiful room. I think I will be back."

"Ok then."

Leia leaves the private dining room with Han. She is laughing.

"Han, why do you keep aggravating my father?"

"I wasn't. I was accepting an invitation. It would have been rude of me not to."

"Take me in there with you later. I want to sit and watch."

"Oh, and _I'm_ the instigator? I don't think so."

"Please, Han? I promise I'll be good. I'll even save you from Daddy if he freaks out."

Back inside the dining room, Anakin squints at his wife to show his disapproval. She ignores him. Anakin pulls out a chair for her.

"How's Li-An doing? Is he alright?"

"He's fine. My mother said he stopped crying all of a sudden and began smiling as if nothing happened."

"I felt him…"

Meanwhile, at the Nor home. Ouisanne bounces Li-An on her lap. The baby smiles as Qui-Gon sits across the room near a display table where a 4-foot long model of a canoe sits. Qui-Gon is suspended off the floor and pretends to paddle the canoe. Li-An is happy to see the ghost. Skippy is too. Daddy's Lil' Hellraiser barks. This is the first time he has seen Qui-Gon. Nakai walks into the room.

"Hellraiser shut the hell up! What's with all the barking? Crazy dog."

Back at the banquet hall, Kyp and Kyle are at the buffet table filling their plates. Kyp already has a full plate and is only at the beginning of the line.

"Wow! Kyle, do you believe this spread? Thikkiiana crab claws, filet of Shaak, Spicy Mustarfries…man! I though Skywalker was yanking our chain when we asked for this!"

"That Felucia salad looks pretty good. I bet Leia put this on the menu."

"I'll pass on the salad. Let the girls have that. Those barbecued duck legs and Mustafar duck wings look great."

Kyp looks around. "Oh, the girls are here. Let's sit with Rocca and Sena."

Kyle checks himself in a nearby mirror. "…Works for me."

The young men approach the table where Rocca, Sena, and Winter are sitting. Rocca blinks as Kyp bows.

"Good evening fair maidens, my fellow Jedi and I have traveled far and are weary…we were wondering…"

"Shut up and sit down Kyp."

"Thank you. This plate was getting heavy. Hey, Winter, I didn't know you were going to be here."

"And I didn't know you had friends."

"Nice, comeback _'Miss Frosty,'_ Ever find a 'Mr. Frosty' to warm you up?"

"Ever find your brain?"

Someone joins them at the table. It is a guy about 20 years old. Good-looking. He takes a seat beside Winter. Kyp and Kyle are speechless. Kyp nods.

"Hey, how're you doin'?"

Tycho Celchu acknowledges him. "Hey."

Kyp looks over to Winter. "Hey, Winnie, you going to introduce us to your friend?"

Winter sighs then makes a half-hearted introduction.

Kyp, Kyle, meet Tycho. Ty, this is Kyp and Kyle, Jedi Knights. Believe it or not they're friends of Leia's brother Luke."

Kyp takes a sip from his cup of beer then boasts happily, "Leia and I made out in 7th Levels at school."

Winter rolls her eyes. "Great. I'm sure Leia is thrilled that her bad judgment from when she was 12 years old is being broadcast all over the banquet room, Wookie-boy."

Rocca laughs. Oh yeah, Kyp. Have you heard from the family of your Wookie girlfriend?"

"Shut up Rocca."

Kyle grins but pretends to be the peacemaker.

"Now, ladies, be kind. Kyp is socially inept, we all know that."

Kyp chimes in.

"Listen, I can speak for myself." He stuffs a mouthful of crabmeat into his mouth. He sees Valin and Callista at another table. "Why are Val and Callista sitting way over there?"

Sena looks around. "I think he wants to have an adult conversation with her so he won't be interrupted by your stupid remarks."

Callista and Valin sit together in deep concentration as the look into each other's eyes. Their arms

are intertwined as if arm wrestling.

"Are you going to ask the waiter for drinks?"

"No, you are."

"If you lose this thumb wrestling match, you have to go ask."

"Callista, I am a lot stronger than you are. You know what you have to say when the bartender asks for I.D., right?"

"What's that?"

"It's…" Valin is caught off-guard and Callista is able to wrestle his thumb to the table. He gets up and points to her. "Fine! I'll do it. You know you cheated, don't you?"

"Valin, I did no such thing. Get me a Felucia Sling."

"As you wish, milady."

Valin walks over to the waiter tending to the guests in the private dining room.

"I'll have a Felucia Sling and a Dagobah Swamp Fizz." He tries to pass the waiter some cash.

"Which room are you in?"

"The private dining room."

"I'll bring it to the table, Sir."

Valin nods 'Ok' then looks around. He sees Han and hurries over to him. Han and Leia are standing at the entrance of the large banquet room chatting with Leia's cousins Pooja and Ryoo and Ryoo's Fiancé Kurt Nerran. Valin puts his arm on Han's shoulder to get his attention.

"Hey guys, Leia."

"Hi, Val. Luke's not here."

"I know. I was actually looking for Han. Han, what's up?"

"That depends. What do you want?"

"Are you in the private dining room?"

"That depends. Why?"

"Aw, come on, don't yank my chain. I'm trying to get a couple of drinks but you have to be from the other room to get them. I ordered two but they will only serve them inside."

"Oooh Nooo, I'm not getting choked so you could get drunk. I saw your dad in there, why don't you ask him?"

"Gee, thanks a lot, Han. I never would have thought of that!"

Han catches on to his sarcasm and disappointment.

"Don't get snippy with me. Get someone else."

Suddenly there is a commotion at Kyp and Kyle's table.

"Issa good to seesa yousa Jedi surfer pals!"

Valin has a great idea. He is no longer annoyed with Han.

"Han, not to worry." He pats Han on the back and goes over to the table where Jar-Jar is. When he explains his dilemma to the understanding Gungan, Jar-Jar is happy to be of service.

"Okiday Meesa get yousa cocktail for yousa to impress fellow Jedi girlfriend."

"That would be it, Jar-Jar, Old pal!"

"Meesa be right back"

"Thanks, Jar-Jar, you're the best."

Around the same time, Luke and Mara arrive and head into the banquet hall.

"Ready to party, lady's man?"

"Now I am. No offense but I'm glad to be out of your house."

"Serves you right. That's what you get for showing up unannounced, birthday boy!"

"I bet you stayed upstairs on purpose, you evil witch."

"Crybaby."

"Bossy hag."

"Whiner."

"I hope your heel breaks."

"Now was that a nice thing to say?"

"Get inside."

Luke playfully shoves her through the door. Leia hurries over to greet her brother. They settle down at a table next to where Kyp and the others are seated. Jar-Jar brings a tray of drinks to Valin.

"Theesa drinks compliments of Master Halcyon and Anakin Skywalker."

Kyp is delighted for this privilege.

"Dude, Your dad's pretty cool after all or easily fooled."

Jar-Jar smiles at the group.

"Oh, Meesa got message for all you young Jedi boozers from private dining room," Jar-Jar tries to remember the exact words. "Oh! Meester Skywalker says _'Enjoy your one and only cocktail tonight... May the Force go through you'_"

"Whatever. Thanks, Jar-Jar!"

The group raises their glasses to toast Luke and Leia. Han already has his own drink as does Leia, Pooja, Ryoo, and her fiancé. Valin leads the toast after taking his drink from the tray

"Happy Birthday to the Skywalker twins. Luke and Leia, party-on!"

Kyle seconds the declaration.

"Alright!"

Valin, Callista , Kyle and Kyp gulp down their drinks. Kyp makes a horrible face.

"Hey, what's that bartender trying to push on us? Blagh!"

"What the heck is this?"

Han grabs Kyp's drink and sniffs it. He grins.

"You kids just got punk'd. It's swamp grass juice. Hahahaa!"

"That is not cool!"

Kyp looks at Jar-Jar. Jar-Jar is afraid the guys are going to be angry with him. Han shrugs.

"He's just the messenger, pal. Don't get mad at Jar-Jar."

Valin looks at Luke.

"My father did this. There's a side of your mentor, Luke, you haven't seen."

"Finally, my father is innocent for once. I'm going to get something to eat at the buffet."

"The chow is off the hook, Skywalker. Thanks!"

Mara joins Luke at the buffet.

"What are you getting?"

"I haven't decided. It all looks good."

"Oooh, grilled duck in Corellian wine sauce. Luke, put that on my plate."

"Are you crippled?"

"It's the least you can do. You dragged me out of my house. Be a gentleman"

"Geez, Mara."

"Don't pile too much on my plate, I want to save space for dessert. You are getting a birthday cake, aren't you?"

"Yes, Mara."

"I want rice too but don't put the rice too close to the salad. I don't want dressing flowing into the rice."

"Oh, here we go again. Why don't you just get separate plates for everything?"

"Be nice to me, Blondie. I'll tell your step-grandmother on you. Ouisanne likes me. She says I'm going places."

"Yeah? Well, she loves me; and she would never stand for you barking commands at me. Here's plate number one."

"Thank you, Luke."

Mara returns to the table. Luke follows a few minutes behind her after filling up three more plates of food. Kyle looks over at Luke and Mara's table then laughs.

"Luke thinks he's eating family-style at a Sallustan restaurant."

Pooja looks then whispers to Leia.

"So this is Luke's little girlfriend?"

"Looks like it."

"Granddad's going to want to know about her. She's got Luke whipped."

"She's not exactly shy."

"No, she's not."

"Wait, isn't she the one who flashed during the plasma ball game last year?"

"One and the same."

"Granddad almost fainted that afternoon. He was in shock."

"Oh please, Opa is always in shock. He needs to get over it."

"He blames your father."

"_Your_ uncle? This wasn't my father's fault. You know, it's about time everyone stop blaming my father for everything, Pooja."

"Who is?"

"Opa for one. Dad's done a lot of good stuff. Everyone on Mom's side of the family needs to recognize that. He's no saint but he tries to do the right thing."

"I'm sorry, Leia."

"Don't apologize to me. You should talk to him. He's not a horrible man."

Meanwhile, back in the private dining room, Anakin and Lando are holding a conversation with Obi-Wan and Yoda. Yoda picks at his food. He returns to the buffet and stands on the step stool to get a better view of the spread. He shakes his head in dismay and disgust.

"Caviar! Humm…what a waste of a fish this is. How does one make a meal of this?" He cruises along the buffet sampling the various dishes. "How does he live off this crap? Hey, you big dummy, get over here."

Anakin excuses himself and walks over to the buffet. He is preparing to get an earful from the elderly Jedi Master. Yoda pokes Anakin with his gimer stick.

"How you get so big, eating food of this kind, beanstalk?"

"Do you have a special request, Master? I'm sure the kitchen can prepare something for you to your liking. What happened to the menus I sent you by e-mail?"

"What? Busy Jedi I am. Very busy with new Younglings. When will I see your little one?"

"He'll be in your class in three years. Isabel wants more time with him."

"Much fear I sense in her."

"She'll be alright. I'm working on her slowly. So, what can I get you to eat, Master?"

"Oh, don't go to any trouble…eat this gruel I will…Heheheh. Waiting for cake."

"Well, just let me know if you need anything"

"Thank you, Anakin. Big mistake with the open bar, Anakin…I see that Obi-Wan Ke-_boozy_ is enjoying himself. Going to have a doozy of a liquor bill at the end of the night, you will."

"He's happy."

"Yeah, as long as he's not paying. Heeheehee…hmmmm"

Anakin returns to the table. Obi-Wan leans over to speak to him.

"What did that little old geezer say?"

"You know full well what he said, Master."

"I know how to hold my liquor. He's got some nerve._ 'Mr. Food critic. Swamp Stew Iron Stomach Chef'_"

"It's good to have you both here."

"Humph…As if he's never tied one on. Bet he was making screech on Dagobah 19 years ago."

"Now, Master, you know that's not true."

"I know, but it would have been fun to start the rumor."

"Obi-Wan! I'm shocked! ...Hey, are you drunk?"

"Of course not, don't be silly. I'm purrfectly sober. I think you should look at Beru. She looks prêt-ty happy to me."

Anakin looks down the table. Aunt Beru is indeed tipsy. She is laughing as Aura tells her stories about the club where she works. Something o do with the exchange of some money and a G-string. Owen is not amused as he tries to take away Beru's drink. She is on her third cocktail. Gladys volunteers to tend to her after Owen hears something that shocks him.

"Shut up, Owen! And who do I have to sleep with to get a refill around here? Where is that waiter with the cute tushie?

Obi-Wan is laughing his head off at the spectacle.

"You tell, 'em, Beru! I knew that woman would hit the sauce one day! Owen has finally sent her over the edge. Hahahaha!"

Two waiters bring out the cake after everyone had eaten. The adults from the private room join the twins and their guests. The crowd sings for a roaring rendition of 'Happy Birthday' to Luke and Leia. Han kisses Leia. Anakin folds his arms as he watches them. Leia knows her father is watching, so she grabs Han's face in her hands and gives him a long passionate smooch. Anakin gulps. Isabel comforts him by rubbing his arm. Luke is smiling. Mara leans over to kiss him on the cheek.

"Happy Birthday, Blondie."

"Thanks."

The guys start cheering and blowing finger whistles.

"Speech, speech!"

"Thank you, thank you. Leia, you go first."

Kyp, Kyle, Wedge, and Dack groan, "Awwh…nooo. Not her! Not, Princess know-it-all! Boooo!"

Leia gives them the evil eye. She stands and is ready to speak.

"Quiet, pond scum! Thank you everyone for coming to our birthday celebration. We hope you're having a good time, the band is ready to perform…"

Kyp and Kyle pretend to snore loudly. Kyp yawns and stretches his arms. "Is it bedtime?"

Kyle murmurs, "I think she said her old man boyfriend is ready to perform…Leia, you go girl!"

Leia continues. "I'm so glad you could all make it. My Dad's happy. He hasn't choked anyone…_yet_. As long as _I'm happy_, he's happy." Leia looks directly at her hecklers as she says this. Kyp and Kyle sit up and pretend to enjoy the speech.

"Man, that Skywalker chick can sure give a great speech."

"She talks real good so we poor folk can understand everything."

"Woo-hoo! And she's kinda purdy too!"

Kyp imitates her when she had the meltdown on Kashyyyk that summer after learning Han was planning to take her to stay at Chewbacca's tree home.

"'_He lives in a tree! Han! Ahhhhh! Aaaahh! A tree! Wooohoohoo!' _"

Leia is losing patience with Kyp and Kyle. She continues her speech.

"…So, for those of you who are here for the first time, we hope you haven't been disappointed. If you are, please see my father in the private dining area. I want to thank my parents for making this day so special for us. Lastly, I know everyone is excited about the band. They will be on stage after a few words from my brother Luke."

Luke stares up at his sister like a bantha in headlights. He is hoping to get out of this and plays dumb. In addition, he is covering his mouth as he listens to the Jedi _'class clowns'_ making fun of his sister. Mara is giggling too. She covers her mouth with a napkin. Luke tries to look serious.

"Uhm…who me?" He points to himself as he looks around. After moment to reconsider, he finally stands.

As Leia takes her seat, she waves her hand at Kyp and Kyle, Force-slapping them.

Luke continues to speak.

"Hey, listen, I don't really have a lot to say. I just think it's cool to be here with my friends….hey, guys, what up?...my cousins, and my mom and dad. This is a great party. So, if you're waiting for a profound, heartwarming speech, you won't get it from me. I'm just here to party with my peeps and to listen to the band…Talk to my dad in the back if you're still jonesing for some deep thoughts. Oh! One more thing, I do have something to say to all my friends who spent the summer away with us on Kashyyyk. We have a cool surprise for you. Apparently, a good friend of ours who we met at a local eatery on the island does a little D.J. gig on the side. So, let's hear it for D.J. Jonni Faytonni! The best and coolest waiter in the galaxy!"

_To be continued… 'The Headliner Tonight Is…Here's Jonni!'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	94. Chapter 94 The Headliner Tonight Is

_Chapter 94_

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'_The Headliner Tonight is…Here's Jonni!'_

'_Roasting the Sith'_

'_Pinned'_

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There is thunderous applause as the infamous waiter with the wry one-liners appears on the stage. Valin and Callista raise their glasses. Kyle, Kyp Rocca, Sena, and Winter start cheering. Kyp is shocked. He has never seen the platinum 'Ice Princess' so lively. Her boyfriend is delightfully amused. Kyle nods and gives Ty a 'thumbs up.' He thinks Ty is a cool dude after all.

Jonni Faytonni gestures for the teens to be seated. Waiters are serving the cake.

"Ok, people…and various creatures calm down. Let's get this celebration towards adulthood moving. I have been asked to alert anyone sneaking into the private dining room to steal the hard liquor to come clean now." He waits a moment. No one responds. "Yeah…right…you're all a bunch of tea-tottaler teen angels. How unreal is this? Alright, let's give the birthday twins another round of applause and thank them for inviting you freeloaders to this amazing fantasy party. Must be nice to be rich, huh? So how are you self-indulgent youngsters tonight? "

There are cheers and hoots coming from the younger guests, especially from those who have spent the summer on Kashyyyk.

While Jonni is warming up the audience for the features band, Anakin leans over to Isabel. Threepio and Artoo are standing close by.

"Isabel, who is this guy?"

"I think the children met him on Kashyyyk. Why?"

"He's extremely judgmental."

Threepio turns to his master. "I think he's quite amusing. He has a biting wit. I admire that in a human."

Anakin looks blankly at the haughty protocol droid. Jonni continues to roast the crowd as he paces back and forth across the stage.

"Okay…Let's see what bright minds are out here at this sea of tables…oh, well, look who it is, my favorite 'decision-challenged' little beauty, 'Red Menace Barbie.' Hello, darlin' you've been behaving yourself lately? She's too busy eating her Mustarfries to respond. Honey, we're on the dessert course now, let the staff clear the tables for Heavens sake. Well, we'll have to get back to you later…Let's see who else is here tonight…Aha…Birthday boy. Did you take the day off from trying to save the Galaxy? Let it go, my friend. I don't see your pals giving up too much of their time. God knows they owe you. Did your father pass out when he received his Galactic Sith-MasterCard statement? I'm sure he's a patient and understanding man…he's got to be with a set of twins like _'Surfer-boy Ken _and _Screaming Princess Banshee_.'"

Leia smirks. Han is nudging her and laughing. Suddenly Jonni zeros in on him.

"Ah…and there's the boyfriend…I thought he was the group chaperone last summer. Sorry about the 'Father' remark back on Kashyyyk. Honest mistake; I didn't know she was into older guys. She can't be with you for your money…she's got her 'real dad' for that. I bet she packed enough designer outfits to circle the galaxy five times. She only dragged you along to carry her bags. So, when you two finally tie the knot are you going to keep your 'maiden name' or are you changing it to Mr. _Han-Leia_ Skywalker? Sounds like a beach resort spot. You had better do something spectacular, my Corellian friend if you intend to hold onto your identity. Look at them…so in-love. Is that your future father in-law in the back turning blue? Relax, Mr. Skywalker, you don't have to give away your daughter just yet. She still has to drain you of your life force first. Daughters are a wonderful thing to behold.

Look at her; bantha butter would melt in her mouth. She's such a sweet delicate flower. Bet she was such a shy little girl. Come on, Mr. Skywalker, crack a smile…this is a happy night…in a few more years; your kids_ 'might'_ be out of your house...maybe. Your wife still hasn't been able to get you to lighten up? She's not doing her job then." He drifts his attention to Isabel who is surprised. Her mouth hangs open. "What's she do all day? Beauty will only get you so far, gorgeous." Anakin manages a smile. "Finally, the Sith has a smile on his lips."

There is some loud laughter from the back of the room. Obi-Wan is laughing out loud. Jonni tracks the source of the laughter. "Someone likes my jokes. Who's the old sage with the drink in his hand?"

Someone shouts back. "That's Obi-Wan Kenobi, man!" It is Kyp.

"Why thank you, Kyp. You're so helpful. I'm sure he wanted everyone to see him boozing it up tonight. At least he arrived with a date. I see you're still dateless tonight. Who's that sitting next to the famous Jedi Master with the Hoth 45 in his hand? Kyp, care to id this person for me?"

"That is the coolest dude on Cloud City, Man!"

All the teens applaud and cheer for Lando. They start chanting. Lando's wife is not pleased.

"'Woohoo! He's the _'Bunny Hutt'_ man! Lando…Lando…Lando…Lando…"

Lando's wife Tendra looks at her husband as if she will kill him when they get home later. She whispers to him in a firm voice.

"I thought you told me you were going to sell that place."

Jonni shrugs. "Thank you, Jedi teens for potentially ruining another happy marriage. Now he has to sit up all night explaining how a bunch of teens knows so much about the 'Bunny Hutt.' Nice job, kids, let's just ruin everyone's life tonight." Jonni drifts his attention back to Mara Jade. "So, sweetheart, you done with those Mustarfries? Wash them down with some Rodia soda; that's your cute little boyfriend's favorite drink. Before I met you, Luke, I never thought anyone could ruin a good meal until I met you. Why select a perfectly good white wine with Kachirho Sea Bass when you can pair it with a fizzy Rodia cream soda….priceless. Leia, how's the _'Ophidiophob'_ holding up?"

"He's just fine."

"Aren't you going to tell him about the snake crawling up his chair?"

Han almost leaps from his chair. Leia pats him on the shoulder.

"It's a joke, Han, relax."

Jonni continues his bit with Han who is becoming very uncomfortable in his chair.

"It's on the floor, Han, really… She's pulling your leg. Hahaha…just kidding. You're a jumpy one, aren't you?"

Han shouts back. "It ain't funny, man."

Jonni grins and nods.

"Oh, yes it is. Well, enough from me…the band is ready to perform…that's the real reason you kids are here. I see the Jedi chicks are all dolled up in their revealing clothes they changed into after leaving the house. Your parents must think you're the sweetest most perfect little angels…you all look as if you should be looking for customers behind the factories near Dex's Diner. I remember you, what's your name, honey?"

Kyp shouts out. "Her name's Rocca! That's Rocca Tachi, Sena Shan, Callista 'Gidget' Ming, and Winter _McFrosty_…Heheheh."

"Thank you again, Kyp. You've just dug a little deeper in the ass-kicking ditch the girls are setting up for you later. And, Kyp?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't mess up my gig; I'm doing a bit here." Everyone Force-toss balled-up napkins at Kyp. Jonni nods at the smiling Gungan. "Jar-Jar, you're a true friend to put up with these delinquents. You could do better. Hey, are these the cousins?" He points to Ryoo and Pooja. He looks at Kyp. "Hey, Kyp, this is where you could be of help, dude. Forget it. Hey, cousins, lighten up, we're having fun tonight…you're older than the twins but still too young to be so serious. Aren't you having fun yet?" He looks over at Kurt Nerran, Ryoo's fiancé. "Who are you, sir?"

"I'm with her." Kurt points to Ryoo.

"I didn't ask who you were with, I asked who you are. You do have an identity, don't you?"

"Oh, yes I do."

"You in the witness protection program on Kamino or something?"

"No…oh, I'm Kurt, my dad's a partner at her fathers' architectural firm on Naboo. I'm interning there…"

"Boring…too much information. How come your fiancée's not laughing?"

Ryoo interrupts.

"I'm laughing."

"That's a laugh? Yikes. So, Kurt, the oldest intern in the galaxy, when's the big day?"

"Soon."

"That means within the next year?"

"Something like that."

"Spend more time with the birthday twins; you'll have more fun, _'Mr. Vague.'_ So, does everyone want to hear a great band? Alright then. Here, on special request, and a generous fee courtesy of the Anakin Skywalker 'blind trust' of his son, I present the Kessel Run GMC and Raxus Prime performing their latest hit,_ 'Shake R'Axus_.'"

As Jonni leaves the stage, the band starts to perform. Mara stops eating and drags Luke onto the dance floor. The other teens do the same. The music is loud. Anakin is chatting with Nejaa Halcyon. They return to the private dining room with the other adults and close the door. Aura sashays out of the room and onto the dance floor. Obi-Wan stands at the glass door bobbing his head to the music as he nurses another drink. Gladys sits and listens to Beru talk about going to a male strip club with Aura. Owen complains to Yoda about his wife. Lando gets an earful from his wife about the 'Bunny Hutt.'

Some of the teens have sneaked into the private room to grab some of the food from the buffet.

Kyle Katarn enters the room and approaches Isabel.

"Good evening, Mrs. Skywalker."

"Good evening, Kyle. Are you having a good time?"

"I'm having a delightful time, Ma'm. I was wondering, since you were sitting here all alone looking so totaling awesome, if you would…"

Suddenly Kyle hears a firm, "No!"

It is Anakin, who, in the middle of his conversation with Master Halcyon, already senses what Kyle is about to ask.

"What?"

"She's busy."

"Well, Geez, Mr. Skywalker. Just because you don't dance…Awww, man!" He leaves the room as Anakin points to the door for him to leave.

Isabel scolds him.

"Anakin, you could have been nicer."

"True, but it wasn't in me at that moment."

"Don't hold back, Anakin. Show your true feelings."

Nejaa Halcyon giggles. "Anakin, you are too funny."

"I wasn't going for laughs." Anakin glances through the window at the dance floor. Isabel laughs at her husband as a horrified expression forms on his face.

"What's wrong, sweetie?"

"Those girls are bouncing too much. They're not wearing bras!"

"Anakin, relax."

"Look at the way they're dancing! I never danced like that when I was their age."

"Obi-Wan smiles. You never danced!"

"I was shy."

Isabel interrupts. "Anakin, you danced with me when we vacationed on Yavin last year…"

"That was different…That was private. Look at them! Where are Luke's hands? What's with those lyrics? What's Leia doing with Kyp?"

"You never heard that song on the satellite radio? Li-An smiles every time Luke turns it on."

"It's sexist. I don't want our young child exposed to that."

"Oh, right, and you have never done or said anything remotely sexist to me."

"What's your point?"

"Anakin, don't you dare go out there and ruin this night for the twins. Let them have their fun."

"It's horrible…I'm going to need some comforting tonight when we get home. I have stress."

"Oh, didn't I tell you? I don't do that anymore. I don't want you corrupted."

"We're married."

"Oh, go chat with your friends. I'm going to watch the party."

"Don't you set one foot onto that dance floor. I've got my eyes on you."

Han enters the room and cruises the buffet. Isabel walks over to him. They sit and chat at the far end of the table.

"So, Isabel, has the Dark Lord burst a blood vessel yet?"

"He's already complaining about pain and suffering. So, why aren't you dancing?"

"I'm sitting this one out. Can't get me out on that dance floor."

"When the band takes a break and they put on the canned music, I'll dance with you."

"What about _'Mustafar Ani'_ over there?"

"Oh, he's just spitting fire. He can be a wild man when he wants to."

When the band does take a break, some 'safer' music is played. Han and Isabel go out onto the dance floor. Kyle and the other guys line up hoping to cut in on the couple. Luke and Leia are laughing out loud, as Anakin looks through the glass in the next room letting out a string of muffled curses. Obi-Wan is laughing his head off then raises his glass to Anakin.

"You throw the best parties, my friend."

"Oh be quiet, you old goat!"

By the end of the night, Anakin manages to wrangle in his wife. Anakin asks Han to keep an eye on the 'kids.'

"You trust me, Sir?"

"You're my only hope, Solo. Anyway, if you screw this up I'll choke you."

Isabel holds onto her husband as they are about to leave the party.

**Morning – Back at the Skywalker home**

It is 7:30. Beru is sober and goes to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for everyone. Pooja gets up for a cup of Jawa. When she gets downstairs, she passes Anakin's study. Anakin has been up since 6 o'clock in the morning. The last person home that night was Leia who helped usher all of the teenage guests out to waiting air taxis or giving anyone a ride who needed one. Han brings her home at 3a.m. Anakin comes out at this time to tell Han to take one of the guestrooms since he had been out so late. He didn't want the nerfherder to get into an accident. He would have been devastated if anything bad had happened to his daughters' old boyfriend. When Anakin is assured that everyone is safely at home, he returns to bed to sleep until dawn.

There is a knock on the door of his study.

"Come in." When he looks up to see Pooja, it was a bit of a surprise. He sensed someone was coming to visit him but he had many other things on his mind. Pooja has her curly blonde tresses pulled back into a ponytail. Anakin had not much contact with his nieces over the years. He had seen them on occasion while picking up the twins during their bi-weekly visits to Naboo but never long enough to hold a conversation with them. They used to adore him when he visited the Naberrie home while he was 'secretly' courting Padmé. This was before the 'dark times' before Palpatine nearly ruined the young Jedi's life.

"Am I disturbing you?"

"No, Pooja. Cone in. Is everything alright? Did you sleep well?"

"Oh, yes. The room is lovely. Thank you, for letting us stay."

"You're family; I wouldn't have it any other way. Did you have a good time last night?"

"Yes, it was fun. Luke and Leia's friends are funny and that comedian was hilarious."

"That was no comedian." Anakin glances at some data cards and smiles. "Apparently, 'Mister Funny Man' will be joining us for Sunday brunch. Your cousins have a warped sense of humor."

"You have a nice office. Do you work at home a lot?"

"Sometimes. It's sort of my escape from your cousins…my sanctuary."

"Leia, Ryoo and I stayed up late last night chatting."

"You kids should be exhausted staying up after that party."

"It was good to get together like this. The guys weren't too thrilled. Luke and Kurt kept knocking on the wall. I have never seen Ryoo's boyfriend have so much fun."

"Luke's great at torturing Leia bur she can dole it out too. So, what can I do for you?"

"Oh, I just want to thank you for inviting us to stay and to tell you how much we really missed having you around over the years. I want to apologize for not visiting sooner. "

"No apology needed. I hope you will visit again. Isabel's a really good cook when she's not taking care of the kids."

"Oh, that's right, I saw the holographs of the new baby. He's beautiful. I hope to see him before we leave."

"I'm sure you will, Isabel's parents are returning him this morning. I miss him. He's rolling over and laughing now."

"I can't wait. Well, I'll let you get back to work. Thanks for seeing me."

"Sure thing. I'll see you in a bit, Pooja."

Pooja leaves feeling that a great weight is finally lifted from her chest. She goes to the kitchen to help Beru who is sober but still miffed at her husband. The nerve of him telling total strangers how he keeps a short tether on her; how he dictates how she lives her life. The stubborn oaf!

Around 9a.m., there is more activity in the Skywalker house. The table on the patio is set up for a big family-style brunch. Han, Kurt, Luke, and Jonni arrive on the patio and have some freshly squeezed juice. Obi-Wan shows up at the house. Aura has to travel to Mos Eisley for a show at one of the casinos. Ryoo and Pooja are amazed at his quick recovery from being drunk the night before.

Isabel's parents arrive with the baby and two dogs. Artoo takes one look at Lil' Hellraiser and tells him he had better be on his best behavior. Skippy rushes into the study to greet Anakin. Anakin is in on the floor playing with him. Isabel greets her parents and takes her baby. Everyone fusses over Li-An. She knows he will need some quiet time later after all the houseguests take turns playing with him. He tends to get cranky after awhile from over activity. Pooja and Ryoo meet Isabel's parents.

Everyone is assembled at the table. Jonni Faytonni takes Anakin aside before everyone is seated to assure him last nights' stand-up routine was all in good fun. Anakin pats him on the back.

"Don't worry about it. That's what I tell my protocol droid just before I 'disassemble' him."

"Well, that's quite unsettling, Sir."

"Yes, it is, isn't it?"

Owen and Nakai chat a bit. Obi-Wan is about to 'doctor-up' his orange juice when Anakin grabs the flask from him.

"Not today, Master."

"Geez, Anakin."

"You are not going to get 'lit' while at the breakfast table."

"Fine!"

The doorbell rings. Ouisanne answers the door. It is Mara. They greet one another with a warm hug.

"Good morning, dear. How are you?"

"I'm good, Nana. How are you?"

"I'm just fine. We came to return the little one. I heard you kids had a good time last night."

"Yes, it was great. Best birthday party ever."

Luke sneaks up behind Ouisanne and covers her eyes with his hands.

"Guess who?"

"Oh, my, I have no idea."

"It's your favorite 19 year old grandson."

"Gee, could it be Luke, my very favorite Jedi?"

"Good morning, Nana!" He hugs Ouisanne and sticks out his tongue at Mara. Nakai sees this and grins. Ouisanne turns and gives Luke a hug and a kiss.

"Good morning, Sweetheart. Did you have a good time last night?"

"It was a super cool party. Look what that witch gave me." He sweeps his hair up on the left to reveal a platinum cylindrical ear clip inserted at the top of his ear. Ouisanne examines the piece of jewelry.

"It's very nicely hidden, dear. Your father hasn't seen it, has he?"

"Heaven's no, He'll have a fit."

"And why do you insist on calling this sweet girl such a horrible name? Is that nice?"

"Well, she is."

"It's okay, Nana, I know he likes me."

"When you two were children I thought you would kill each other you were so brutal. Now look at you, the best of friends."

Luke shrugs.

"I guess. Hey, Pop! How are you? Was Li-An good last night?"

"Oh, he was great. He slept through the night."

Leia sees Nakai and Quisanne and runs over to them.

"Nana, Pop! You missed our party."

"Your brother and Mara were telling me all about it."

Leia smiles then looks at Mara. "Thanks for the gift, Mara. I finally got a moment to open my gifts. Nice hat pin."

"Oh, it's an eyebrow stud."

"I don't think so. That thing is not going through my skin. Luke, Dad's going to kick your ass when he sees yours."

"He'll get over it."

Everyone sits down for Sunday brunch. Li-An sits in his fathers' lap playing with a napkin and vocalizing loudly. Jonni Faytonni finally meets the infamous Dark Lord and finds him and his family just delightful. He is fascinated by Threepio who is as astute as he is. Kurt is able to relax and have a good time without having to be so serious as he is when he visits Ruwee and Jobal. Pooja and Ryoo get to know their uncle all over again and are happy to be in his presence. They regret the years they have missed. Today makes up for some of that lost time. Anakin makes sure Luke is sitting close by because he is within reach of his son to flip up that mop of blond hair to find that ear clip fastened to the top of his ear. Anakin takes the handle of his butter knife and pings it against the ear jewelry. Luke's head feels like a gong going off as his father Force-speaks to him._ "That is not proper Jedi Knight attire."_

"Ouch! Daad!"

Mara is happy to be fussed over by Ouisanne who has plans of her own to give Mara a 'young lady makeover.' Leia sticks her _'hat pin'_ into Han's shirt collar. Owen Leans over and gives his wife a kiss on the cheek and gently squeezes her hand. He doesn't know what he would do without her. Artoo is busy training Lil' Hellraiser to be a good watchdog. Skippy is comfortably curled up under Anakin's chair.

Isabel rests her feet on her husbands' lap as she listens to her father and Obi-Wan chatting about the benefits of wheat grass juice. Obi-Wan is sipping his virgin Mimosa. He had no idea fruit juice could taste so good 'sans alcohol.'

Meanwhile, at the Shady Acres Rest Home, the patients are in the solarium watching the Sunday matinee on the holovid. The feature film:_ 'On Borrowed Time'_

Three heavy-set nursing home attendants enter the room. The head attendant walks over to the former Emperor.

"Mr. Palpatine, time for your sleeping pill."

"Sleeping pill? It's 10:30a.m.! I slept last night! Leave me alone! I'm trying to watch a movie here!"

"Are you going to do this the easy way or the hard way?"

"Fine! How come I can't have my own plasma in my room?"

"It's not in your room contract."

"This is outrageous! I demand satisfaction!"

"So do I but I'm stuck here with you. Be a nice old guy and cooperate."

"I want to file a complaint."

"I'm sure the citizens of the galaxy would demand the same thing against you. In the chair!"

"Oh, Anakin, how could you do this to me? Booohooohoohooo!"

_To be continued… 'Visiting Hours'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**


	95. Chapter 95 Visiting Hours

_Chapter 95_

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Visiting Hours'_

'_Things You Need to Tell Your Wife But Shouldn't'_

'_So Lonely'_

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Anakin is in his office early one morning a few weeks after that Sodom and Gomorrah party. Luke has been getting an _'earful'_ concerning the ear clip. Even when he showed his father that it was a fake, this did little to comfort the seething Sith. Anakin has a lot on his mind.

Anakin has to speak to his wife about something very serious. He already has a good idea how she would react. It would definitely be grounds for divorce in her mind.

When Anakin calls Isabel into his study and Force-closes the door, his wife knew it was a bad sign. Anakin makes sure she is sitting when he breaks the god-awful news.

He thought long and hard for weeks figuring out the best way to tell his wife. Perhaps he could perform a few mind tricks on her to make her forget, or at least make her go along with whatever he suggests. When he tells Obi-Wan that he is planning to tell her, he fell off the wagon. All he could say to Anakin is, "See you in Divorce Court. I'll be on Isabel's side of the courtroom."

Anakin had to tell her. He made a promise to himself that there would no longer be any secrets or lies between him and his wife. Anakin flashes a smile at his wife. He starts the conversation off by saying, "We love each other, right?"

"What?"

"Nothing that has happened or will happen will tear us apart. We took a marriage vow. Now, before you get upset and freak out, let me just preface what I'm about to say by assuring you that I'm not having an affair and I haven't sold our kids."

"Have you been gambling behind my back?"

"Let's stick to the issue at hand, Isabel."

"Well, what is it?"

Anakin begins to explain. Once he explains, Isabel gasps in disbelief and becomes visibly upset. To her, this is a thousand times worst than gambling. Tears well up in her eyes.

"Isabel, it's not as bad as you think. It'll be alright, I promise."

"But we're talking about our child…my child…How long were you going to keep this from me?"

"I wanted to tell you but I knew how upset you would get. Listen, it's only for one day. We'll be back before dinner…I promise. No harm will come to him, Isabel. Don't look at me that way."

"What way?"

"Like you want to kill me."

"I do."

"Everything will be fine. I promise. I'm still going through with it. I want you to know up front."

The Following Morning –

Anakin goes to the nursery to dress Li-An. Isabel tells her husband the night before that he should not count on her preparing the baby to go out. She makes it clear that she absolutely wants no part in what Anakin is planning to do. She does not support him in this and she may not be speaking to him when he comes home.

Li-An wakes up happy as usual. Qui-Gon visits with him during the wee hours of the morning. They have their little secret discussion about the days' events. Li-An seems to understand.

'_Looks like you've got a busy week ahead of you my little one. Your father is trying to do the right thing. He can be impulsive at times but it's all with a good heart. Just remember, bravery is a powerful ally. I will always be close by. So, it looks like your father is going to be on your mother's 'sith list' for a while. This isn't going to be easy for either of them. Well, it's late; you need to get some sleep. I'll stop by after this is over. Okay? I might need to have a chat with your dad too. Bye-bye.'_

Li-An has spent time with his mother all morning. After breakfast and a late morning meal, Anakin enters the nursery. Isabel places the baby in the crib. It is her passive-aggressive way of telling her husband that she is not releasing the baby to him willingly. If he wants Li-An, he will have to take him from the crib himself. She gives Anakin an icy stare then leaves the room.

By eleven o'clock Li-An is dressed. Isabel avoids Anakin during this time. Luke finds her sitting on the terrace.

"There you are."

Isabel quickly dries her eyes then turns to see Luke.

"How long have you known?"

"Oh…for some time. Leia and I had a feeling but we were waiting for the moment when dad thought we would be the least emotionally scarred. He was on this truth kick after you left years ago."

"Were you upset?"

"I was…little…then I got over it. Leia was a bit more expressive and vocal. However, I think it was hardest on Dad. Don't hold it against him, Isabel. If he could change things, he would, but then again, he would not have met you. He needs you. If it will make you feel better, I'll go with him. It'll be alright…I promise."

Luke hugs Isabel.

After Li-An is dressed, Leia helps her father do this, Anakin examines his attire. Leia dresses her little brother in a navy knit two-piece pants and sweater, a stripped navy and white shirt and a white cap with blue writing on the edge that says _'Boob Man.' _The cap has little Ewok-shaped ears on it. Leia smoothes the blond hair on Li-An's forehead.

Anakin looks at his daughter.

"Where did he get that hat?"

"Obi-Wan and his girlfriend picked it out. Come on, Dad, smile…it looks cute."

"I guess."

"Are you nervous?"

"No…Your mother is pissed."

"Well, can you blame her? Anyway, I had a talk with Li and he's going to be fine."

"Well, Isabel isn't fine. She won't speak to me."

"Who are you afraid of most right now?"

Anakin lets out a heavy sigh then reaches for the baby.

"Ok, enough with the dress-up. He looks like a chubby Ewok bumblebee. Let the kid have some dignity."

"Fine. Go."

"Where's the diaper bag?"

"I have it. I'll bring it to the YUV."

"Thanks." At this moment, Anakin sees Isabel standing near the door. He walks over to her. Li-An smiles and reaches for her. She does not take him. Anakin can see she has been crying. He leans over to kiss her. She turns her head. Anakin kisses her on the left cheek then leaves the house.

Threepio walks over to her as she watches the YUV takes off.

"Is there anything I can get for you, milady?"

"No, thank you, Threepio."

"I'm sure things will turn out alright. Don't worry."

Coruscant at Midday –

Across town, Anakin parks the vehicle in the visitor's parking bay. He grabs the diaper bag and releases the baby from the car seat. Li-An has been sleeping on and off during the ride.

Anakin is walking down a long corridor then turns a corner. He opens the door.

"Well, we're here." He doesn't say this with much enthusiasm. He places the diaper bag on the dresser in the room.

Palpatine drops his latest issue of IARS (Inter-Galactic Association of Retired Siths) and licks his fingers to fluff his hair. He is wearing burgundy paisley silk pajamas and a wine colored velvet robe. He smiles as he turns on his bed and claps his hands together joyfully.

"Aah! You're here! You've finally brought him to see me! Anakin, I can't believe he's actually here!"

He reaches eagerly for the baby. Anakin holds the infant away.

"Wash your hands!"

"Oh yes, yes…you are so right!" He hops off the bed and goes into the refresher to lather up those old sith hands. Anakin watches in the mirror from the room. Palpatine grabs a towel drying his hands off. He stands facing Anakin and holds out his arms.

"Sit down first. You might drop him."

"Well, actually I was looking for a hug first. Weren't you going to give your old man a hug first?"

"No. You wanted to see the baby so he's here. You've caused me a great inconvenience and disrupted my family." He waits for the former Emperor to be seated before he hands him the baby. "And watch his back. He isn't quite sitting up yet."

"I think I can figure that out, Anakin. Li-An, hello! What a lovely baby you are. Oh, Anakin, he's such a good baby. But, Anakin…he's a plump little thing. What in Darth Plagueis are you feeding him?"

"Don't you start…he's the perfect weight for his age and size. His pediatrician says so. He's a healthy baby. If you're going start finding fault, we can leave now, I'm in the dog house as it is."

"Your wife isn't speaking to you? Perhaps it's the way you explained it to her."

"No, it's just you."

"Isabel will get over it." He smiles and bounces the baby on his lap. "What's this on his cap? _' B-o-o-b Man' _who gave him this cap? That reprobate Obi-Wan? Shameful."

"Leia dressed him." Anakin sits in a chair across from the old man.

"Ah, I see. She's not here today, is she? She tried to smother me with a pillow last week. The nurses wouldn't believe me. Anakin, since I lost my powers, I'm virtually helpless in this place. The orderlies are big 300-pound bullies. The nurses are cold and unsympathetic…Can I have my own plasma? I hate having to sit in that solarium with those old coots."

"It's better this way. You need to socialize. If I got you your own plasma you'd never come out of your room. Besides, you're an old coot. You guys should get on just fine together."

"The food is horrible."

"I saw the menu. The food is quite good and you get a wide variety of choices. What did you have for breakfast this morning?"

"Waffles and bacon."

"You complain too much."

"You…don't live here 24-7. Anakin, I know our relationship has been strained over the years but can't you see it in your heart to call me 'Dad?'"

"Don't push it. You robbed me of a mother."

"That was a horrible thing that happened to Shmi. Believe me when I tell you it wasn't meant to happen…"

"Liar."

"Believe what you want, Anakin."

"After all your treachery, you didn't achieve what you wanted."

"Fine! My plans have been foiled. I conceded to the defeat with dignity. I'm willing to live out my years as a mere mortal. I'm just a retired sith living on a pension. Retired life isn't so bad….but…"

"But 'what?"

"Could you move me into one of those retirement communities Isabel's father was telling me about several months ago?"

"Why?"

"Well, I was thinking of taking up golf and I could use a few more rooms."

"Rooms? For what?"

"For guests. In case the kids want to stop by or spend the night."

"I'll ask Leia…"

Palpatine quickly interrupts, almost terrified by the idea.

"No! Not Leia….she'll …Anakin, she frightens me."

"Oh, cut it out, she's amazing with this sort of thing."

"She is no angel, Anakin. I'm afraid she will kill me in my sleep. Please, I implore you. How about Luke?"

"Luke is busy at the Jedi Temple."

"Well, anyone but Leia."

"You take what I give you."

"Anakin, you could be nicer to me…after all, I am…."

"Don't say it."

"But I am your…"

Anakin holds up his finger as if to interrupt him. The old man looks at the baby. Li-An stares at him then reaches for the mane of white hair. Li-An pulls himself up and continues to pull on the old man's hair. Anakin grins.

"Pull harder, Li. It'll come out eventually. Grab a whole bunch and make it painful."

Palpatine is almost helpless as the infant has a vice-like grip on his hair. Li-An turns to look at Anakin and smiles. As Palpatine plays with the baby, Anakin thinks back on the events following that fateful night on Mustafar. He thinks about the day he learned the truth about how he came to be.

Shortly after Anakin goes to the Emperor to ask for help getting his children, the old man has a favor to ask of him and reveals a deep dark secret of his own. The news made Anakin's blood run cold. His heart raced so fast he thought it would explode. He felt things could not get worse until he learned his true lineage. Anakin learned how an innocent Shmi Skywalker was part of this secret. How his life of poverty and enslavement was orchestrated to make him into the brooding adolescent and the lonely young man who would become so filled with pain and anger, it was only a matter of time that the planting those seeds to draw him to the Dark Side.

He learned that his poor mother would be a pawn in this horrible scheme concocted by Palpatine, who was once an apprentice to Darth Plagueis the Wise. Palpatine planned to create the ultimate apprentice who would help him gain ultimate control of the galaxy. When Darth Plagueis had second thoughts about the scheme, Palpatine promptly sought to get his master out of the way.

Using the Force and the powers he learned from the Sith Lord, the ambitious apprentice succeeded in creating the most powerful apprentice ever. Palpatine did not plan on Anakin turning to the light. He did see new hope in the offspring Anakin would produce, but this too was thwarted, as caring friends and unnamed parties in the Jedi Order helped to cleanse his soul. It was useless. Anakin had surrounded himself with good people.

When Palpatine confronted Anakin with the truth, Anakin was in denial. He thought all chances of getting his children were gone. He hated the words Palpatine uttered that day of true confessions:

"_Search yourself; you know it to be true, Anakin. Why do you think I have been watching over you all these years since you were a child? I had people watching you on Tatooine. Things were going well. That stupid hippie Qui-Gon thought you were the saviour. He was always bringing children before the Jedi Council proclaiming each one 'The Chosen One.' He was making himself into a laughing stock._

_Finally, one day he hit the jackpot without realizing what he had done. He had unwittingly brought my boy back to me. I would have had you sooner had the Jedi Council turned you away as they had intended but your mentor was so earnest and pleading that he was given one more chance which caused him his life. I had to get rid of him for once and for all. Damn the Jedi. He makes one last request before dying and that's where you wound up with that drunkard Obi-Wan Kenobi. To be fair to the man, he had no drinking problem until he was stuck with you. _

_Now I had to wait_ _patiently another 14 years! I took every chance I could get to groom you. Then you fell in-love. You were not easy, my boy. I was relieved when that ended. That was a gift. I had no hand in that. Alas, now you stand before me asking for help getting your children. I'll help you…with the following conditions. I want to spend time with my grandchildren. I will provide a legal team for you but I must get to know the children. I will give you 12 years to tell them who I am."_

Anakin made a bargain with the devil but soon broke it when he was able to make enough money to buy his own legal team. This weakened the Emperor's hold on him. Then the judge issued a restraining order forbidding Anakin and Palpatine from working or dealing with each other. This was great news for Anakin. Anakin did, however keep his promise.

When he sat down with the twins after their twelfth birthday, he broke the news. The children were stunned but took the news in stride. They never became angry with their father because, it their eyes, he was a victim too. Leia kept this news from her grandparents on Naboo. They would never understand. She was tough on her father but she also felt his pain. Luke had no reason to say anything to his grandparents but he did speak to Obi-Wan and Yoda. They were both committed to the twins and swore to look out for them.

Everyone seemed to know but Isabel. Anakin did not know how to tell her. He had planned to but when Palpatine tried to steal the baby during the baptism, he knew he could not even bring up the issue. He did confess to Isabel's father. It was the evening of the 'All-you-can–drink-Rodia Tequila Night.'

Before falling asleep, the two men talked. Anakin wanted so desperately to get this off his chest. He told Nakai that he hoped he wouldn't think less of him for what he was about to say. Nakai liked an honest man and he hated people who danced around the truth. He was ready for anything. Anakin had come clean about kicking Lil' Hellraiser so this had to be something huge. Nakai was ready for shock and awe.

"So spill it…but not the tequila."

Anakin takes a long gulp from the bottle and sighs.

"Palpatine's my father."

Nakai had sobered up immediately.

"Holy Sith."

"Unholy Sith. I'm a freak of nature, Nakai."

After revealing the horrible details that he knew of, Anakin turns his head to face his new father-In-Law on the other sofa.

"Do you hate me?"

"Hey, we can't help who our parents are, just try to be a good person. If they are a real S.O.B.; then be better than they are. Anakin, you're okay in my book…you'll have to tell her though."

"I know I do. I will. She's going to freak out."

"Oh, that's for sure. She'll get over it."

"I hope so. I couldn't bear to lose her. It would kill me. How long should I wait?"

"Eighteen years." Nakai laughs but gets serious. "You told your kids when they were twelve?"

"Yeah."

"Wait until after the baby is born. Let's get some sleep."

Present Day -

Anakin, slouched in the upholstered armchair is watching the now powerless and pathetic old man playing with the baby. He was actually enjoying himself. This was a far different Palpatine than he saw years ago. In recent years, the now former Emperor was just hanging by a thread. Since the joint alliance between the Imperialists, the Empire, and the Republic, everything was working out fine. Palpatine was living in a world of his own. He was a lame duck. He only held his position because there was no place else to put him. His own ranks dwindled as officers either switched alliances or retired.

There is a knock on the door. Palpatine looks away from the baby to see who it is.

An old man in worn leather slippers and long Tauntaun cardigan shuffles into the room.

"Hey, you old dirty bastard, you missed a great episode of_ 'The Galactic Girls.'_ Oh, who's this cute little tyke?"

"Lorian, this is my grandson Li-An. Don't ask me to explain the name. I think his father was on crack when he thought of it."

Lorian Nod looks over at Anakin and checking for any family resemblance in the two men. He acknowledges Anakin with a smile.

"Oh, this is little Ani. He's big Ani now."

"Anakin, have you ever met Lorian Nod? He trained as a Jedi with Count Dooku."

Anakin take a cue from the nerfherder Han Solo by greeting the old man with a flippant two-fingered salute from his chair.

"Hey."

Lorian Nod smiles over at Anakin again then looks at the baby.

"Hey, chubster!"

Anakin gives the crotchety old Jedi dropout a dirty look. Palpatine, in a snobbish response, glances at his neighbor.

"He's the perfect weight for his size. His pediatrician says so. So there." He glance s over at Anakin.

Lorian Nod studies the baby.

"Is he bald?"

Palpatine is offended then removes the cap from Li-An's head to reveal a full head of soft blond hair.

"Of course he's not bald you blind senile old fool!"

"Cute little stinker."

"What?"

"Just because you've lost your powers don't mean I lost mine, and my nose smells a little gift."

Anakin gets up and takes the baby. He looks at Palpatine.

"Where can I change him?"

Li-An is placed on the bed as Anakin cleans him. The two old men look on. Palpatine, in an effort to be helpful digs in the diaper bag and pulls out a new diaper with the little Ewoks on it. Li-An babbles happily and looks up at the old geezers. Anakin accepts the diaper. Li-An tries to flip over as Anakin is about to dispose of the old diaper. Anakin holds him down. Palpatine volunteers to assist.

"I can hold him, Anakin."

"He doesn't know you that well and he might get upset if I leave the room."

"Anakin, you're not going that far. Relax."

Anakin walks into the refresher and disposes of the diaper. When he returns, Palpatine is holding the baby. Li-An is smiling and his plump little pink legs are kicking joyfully. Anakin looks.

"Put his pants back on."

Lorian Nod looks down at himself.

"Oops, I forgot to get dressed."

Anakin ignores the old man. Lorian leaves the room. An orderly escorts him down the hall. Anakin dresses the baby while Palpatine plays a game of 'Peek-A-Boo.' Li-An's smile widens and he lets out a laugh.

Anakin takes out a bottle and lets Palpatine feed the baby. The orderly returns and enters the room. He is a burly 300-pound sumo wrestler named Tomo.

"Hey, Mr. Palps, what's up? Where did you get the baby?"

"He's my grandson and no wisecracks about his weight you over-sized bantha."

"Hey, be nice, I've got feelings too. I was just going to ask if you wanted lunch in your room or in the dining hall."

"Oh. Anakin?"

Anakin doesn't realize he has to be involved in this conversation. He barely looks at the two men when he responds.

"Dining room, please."

"See? We're buddies. Right Mr. Palps?" He gives the former Emperor a hearty slap on the back. This almost knocks the wind out of the old Sith Lord.

Palpatine looks at Anakin with an expression of fear and helplessness on his face. He wants to shout, _'Get me out of this place!'_ The orderly gives him a tight bear hug. Palpatine is terrified as he forces himself to smile. The orderly finally leaves the room.

"Anakin, a golf course would be nice…"

"I'll think it over."

An hour later, Anakin, and Palpatine are sitting in the dining room. Suddenly the old man has a look of horror on his face. Leia walks over to join them at the table. She takes Li-An from his arms.

"Eat your Jell-O before it melts."

"Jell-O doesn't melt."

"Oh be quiet. Hi, Daddy. Did he behave himself today?" She gives the old Sith a dirty look as she bounces Li-An in her arms.

"Yes, he was just having his bottle…"

"I don't mean the baby, I meant the 'Creature.'

"See, Anakin? See how she speaks to me? She's trying to kill me. She tried to smother me. Just ask her."

Leia squints as she responds to his accusations.

"You exaggerate. I was fluffing up your pillows you old fossil." She flicks him on the head.

"Oww!"

Anakin looks over at his daughter. He is slightly amused by this confrontation between Leia and the complaining old crow.

"Leia, is it true that you tried to smother him in his sleep?"

"Oh, like he has never killed anyone in their sleep before."

"Woooo, I'm just an old man living on a pension. I just want to live out my years as a retired Sith Lord. Wooohoo hoo."

Leia rolls her eyes as the old man starts to wail.

"Daddy, see? He's such a B.S. artist. Pension my eye! We all know you have millions in the bank so cut it out, old man!"

"Anakin has Power of Attorney. I have no control over my funds."

Anakin takes great joy in this but pretends to behave 'responsibly.'

"Leia, don't agitate him. And you…" He points to Palpatine. "No one is falling for your pauper act so knock it off. You're being treated better than you've treated others. Sit still and be quiet. That goes for you too, young lady."

"Fine. So, old man, you want hour hair washed or what?"

"I can go to the barber down the hall."

"I came all this way. Don't waste my time! You ungrateful old crow!"

"You tried to drown me last time."

"A little water from the hose got up your nose, so what?"

"You were holding me down."

Leia smiles and looks over at her father.

"Daddy, who would you believe? Me or Lord of the Retired Sith?"

"You both need to grow up. You, old man, stop exaggerating, and you, young lady, stop trying to kill him."

Leia makes a face at the put-upon former Emperor.

"Tattletale."

Palpatine looks over at Leia, and then changes the subject.

"Has anyone heard from Jar-Jar? He never visits. I sent him letters and he never writes back."

"He's probably busy."

"That Valorum has him running around like a slave I bet."

Leia stares at him.

"Isn't that what you did? I wouldn't return your calls or letters either if you hit me with dark lightning."

"Can't you be a nice child for once?"

"It's not in me. Shut up."

After lunch, Palpatine returns to his room. Leia washes his hair. Anakin hears muffled screaming from behind the door. Li-An is sleeping peacefully in Anakin's arms.

"Help me! Don't let her kill me. I can't hold on any longer. Ahhhhhhh . . . ahhhhhhh . . . ahhhhhhh . . ."

"Oh shut up, I haven't turned on the water yet."

"I can't ... I give up. Help me. I am weak ... I am too weak. Don't kill me. I give up. I'm dying. I can't hold on any longer."

Luke walks in and hears the commotion from the refresher. He looks at his father and grins as he points to the closed refresher door.

"Is she washing his hair again?"

"Yes."

"It must not be all that bad; he lets her do it all the time."

"I've learned to ignore it. Do you see me moving from this chair?"

"I think he's lonely."

"And whose fault is that?"

After an hour, the two emerge from the refresher. Palpatine's hair is washed and styled. He is happy to see Luke.

"Well, Hello, my boy. How is your apprenticeship coming along?"

"Just fine, sir. Dad, I'm going to take the diaper bag to the YUV. Paps, take it easy."

"You have made us all proud, Son."

"Well, I've got to go."

"Anakin, may I hold the baby once more?"

"Hurry up, he's sleeping."

Palpatine holds Li-An again.

"Such a sweet, precious child. When will you bring him by again?"

"I don't know. Listen, we have to go. I have a wife who is about to leave me over this. She's more important to me than you are right now."

"I understand. I know I have much to apologize for."

"I don't think you'll live that long."

"Now, Anakin, that's not nice."

"It's true though, isn't it?"

"And, I know this is a lot to ask, but think about the retirement condo, son, please?"

"When I have a second. See you."

Anakin is in a hurry to get home. Luke fastens the baby into the car seat. Leia is on the phone telling Han about her day. She is laughing.

Once they arrive back at the house, Anakin brings the baby into the bedroom. He quietly locks the door. The three are curled up on the bed. Anakin kisses his wife.

"I love you for putting up with me, I am so sorry. It will kill me if you were to leave me."

Isabel reaches out to take his hand in hers.

_To be continued… 'Sitting Pretty'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	96. Chapter 96 Sitting Pretty

_Chapter 96_

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'_Sitting Pretty'_

'_Catch As Catch Can'_

'_Happy Hour'_

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It is Mother-Daughter Day at the Galactic Senate. As a paid intern and graduate student of political studies, Leia wanted to take part in the annual event. Isabel is flattered when she is asked to pose for the holograph.

Isabel is getting ready. Anakin doesn't have much to do so he hangs around the house all morning. He decides to chat with his wife, as she is getting ready. Li-An is on the bed with him.

"You know, Bel, I can take you girls over to the Galactic Senate building…it's not a problem. So what do you say?"

Isabel is in the refresher combing her hair and putting on a little blush. The door is open so Anakin watches her getting ready. He lets the baby play with a plastic cup. Isabel is in the mirror applying her makeup.

"We'll be ok. Leia's driving."

"Is that all you're wearing?" He grins as he watches her standing over the vanity in her lingerie.

"Don't be a moron, Anakin."

"Come out here and let me have a good look at you."

"I hope you're watching the baby instead of worrying about what I'm wearing."

"Don't worry, I'm watching him."

Anakin giggles then notices the baby isn't on the bed in the spot where he has left him. He panics and looks around. Li-An is about to roll onto the floor.

"Oh, 'sith!'"

Anakin's quick reflexes catch the infant just before Li-An reaches the floor and before Isabel turns to see the horror from the door. Great save! He looks around to make sure Isabel has not seen this. She is still primping herself in the mirror. Good.

Li-An is propped up with some pillows as he continues to play. The pillow slips and Li-An tips sideways. Anakin sits him upright again and laughs.

"Li-An, you're like a little drunk. Can't seem to keep your balance. Weeee….!" Anakin watches the baby tip over repeatedly after several attempts to sit him upright. "Your mother would kill me if she saw this."

Isabel calls out to him from the refresher.

"Did you say something?"

"Uhm…no." Anakin quickly puts his hand against the baby's back.

Isabel goes to her walk-in closet and selects the outfit she will wear. When she returns dressed, Anakin whistles.

"You're wearing that?"

"No, stupid, I decided to wear a Dagobah swamp-trolling suit to the photo shoot."

"No need to get snippy with me, woman. This mother-daughter thing has gone to your head. You're picking up a lot of Leia's behavior. I'm not happy about it."

"What are you going to do, spank me? Send me to my room?"

"You're already in your room. Get over here." He winks then reaches out to grab her but she backs away and giggles.

"Get away from me you fiend! Watch the baby! What am I paying you for?"

"Nothing yet. Turn around and let me look at you, you witch."

"Get out of the way and let me spend a few minutes with my baby."

Anakin speaks for the baby as he holds him out of her reach.

"_Get away from me, woman. You only have one thing to offer me. You never got my authorization to leave the house today."_

"My baby doesn't think like that."

"Li-An, your mother is abandoning us. She's leaving me and she's leaving you with nothing but a couple of bottles. She's going out with your sister on some foolish mission. Chick's day at the Galactic Senate. She's not even a Senator."

"I have a PhD, Mister."

"You don't use it."

"That's because I sacrificed my career for you. Ingrate."

"PhD. What a waste of schooling. All you do is lounge around the house all day. PhD! ….I don't have a PhD. and look at me!

"Yes, look at you. What a mess."

"Hey, I grew up with adversity, Miss _'I need a new pair of shoes for the Bimmisari Tea Party' _PhD_…So_, you'll be home in time to cook dinner, right?"

"Don't mess with me today, Anakin, you're still in the dog house."

"Boy, you can hold a grudge. By the way, '_he'_ asked about you."

"Don't talk to me about that man." She takes the baby. Li-An immediately buries his little face in her suit jacket as she speaks to her husband. "I'm still upset with you."

Anakin watches as Isabel tries to distract the baby with a toy.

"Get her, Li-An! Wrestle her to the floor if you have to. The nerve of her leaving her child here to starve."

"For your information, I left six bottles for him. Just warm them up as he needs them."

Anakin gives her a blank stare.

"Tell your mother you don't want any warmed-over food."

Isabel hands the baby back to Anakin.

"Tell your father you don't appreciate being dropped on the floor!" She flicks Anakin on the forehead.

"Ow!"

"I saw you in the mirror."

"So, I caught him." He kisses the baby lovingly.

"Well, I've got to skedaddle. See you later '_Dark Lord Drop-A-Baby.'_ How do I look?"

"Ehh…" He tips his hand from side to side to give her a less-than complimentary assessment. Isabel gives him a look that could kill. She grabs her purse.

"I'll remember that remark."

He follows her downstairs to the living room. Leia is already there. She is wearing a beautiful pink floral print Felucia silk organza dress with a tea-length skirt and lots of soft tulle underneath. Her hair is up in a French twist adorn with a comb once belonging to Padmé. The two look stunning together. They are dressed perfectly for a portrait sitting. Isabel's two-piece pink form-fitting suit with short waist-length jacket, compliments the soft pink flowers on Leia's dress. Anakin is admiring the two most beautiful women in his life right now.

Luke has just returned home from a mission with Jedi Master Nejaa Halcyon to the Outer Rim to oversee the new Republic's installation of new government officials. The old regime, loyal to the Empire, has been ousted.

There was not much resistance since most of Palpatine's alliances have been imprisoned or joined forces with Chancellor Vallorum. It was an exhausting trip wrought with last-ditch effort negotiations to rein in would-be dissenters. Luke is ready to catch up on some much needed sleep.

"Wow! How hot do you look!...Oh, you too, Leia."

"Gee, thanks, Luke. I would Force-slap you but I'm being a lady today."

Threepio looks at both women.

"Mistress Leia and Madame Isabel, you both look absolutely ravishing. Princess Leia is so sweet and delicate looking. I almost didn't recognize you."

"What's with you guys and the backhanded compliments? Makes me want to choke someone."

The protocol droid tries to make her feel better.

"Now Princess Leia, you mustn't get all frazzled and crazy like your father. You have a photo session today. Everyone is so happy for you."

"You're not helping."

Luke chuckles. Anakin leans over to kiss his daughter. She immediately backs away and accepts an 'air-kiss'

"Daddy, you'll ruin my make-up."

"You girls look fine without it.. Well, I guess we'll see you later. Sure you don't want me to come along?"

"We're positive, Daddy." She gives him a hug. As Anakin looks over her shoulder with Li-An in one arm, his smile suddenly turns into a frown. "You!"

Han walks in from the terrace. He has a big grin on his face.

"Ready, ladies?" He shakes the keys to his speeder. Leia smiles sheepishly as she looks at her father.

"He's driving us."

"What?"

"I had second thoughts. Why mess up my dress behind the drivers' seat when Han can take us. Oh, Daddy, don't give me that psycho look. Han's not scared of you anymore."

Han is insulted.

"I was never afraid of the old man."

Luke is enjoying this. Anakin turns to his oldest son.

"I thought you were so tired. Go to bed."

"I will. Calm down. Hey, Li-An, how are you, pal?" Luke takes the baby from Anakin. Li-An is holding Luke's lightsaber. Luke takes it away before anyone sees him with it.

Han calls the women.

"Ladies, let's get a move-on. See you, Luke. Bye, Daddy-O." Han slaps Anakin's back.

Isabel waves to the baby. Isabel. Anakin pouts. Leia, Isabel, and Han leave the house.

Luke and his father sit in the living room with the baby. Anakin takes the baby and lies on the sofa holding the baby over his head. Li-An is drooling on his shirt. Luke folds his arms and looks over at his father.

"So, what have you been up to while I was away, young man?"

"Ohhh…just chilling, wiseass."

"You didn't drop the baby again, did you, Dad?"

"Shhh…" He holds a finger up to his lips.

Threepio stands near the sofa appalled.

"Oh, my! Goodness gracious me!"

Anakin squints at the shocked droid.

"What are you looking at? I caught him!"

"Well!" Threepio quickly leaves the room offended by Anakin's tone. Artoo comes over and chatters something to Anakin.

"Artoo, his soft spot is fine. There's no need to examine him. He never hit the floor. Bunch of alarmists! Relax, Artoo. So, Luke, we have to think of a contingency plan. I have a feeling Isabel isn't going to be home in time to make dinner."

"Want to order in?"

"We could… what are you in the mood for? Dagobah Pizzería, Yavin4 Burrito, Kamino Sea Shaak…" Anakin glances through some take-out menu data cards.

"What about that 'secret recipe' meatloaf Leia made last week?"

"Last week? Luke! Come on! We're talking about Leia here. You want to wind up in the Coruscant Hospital Emergency Room or the morgue? Blah! Li, no matter how bad things get at home, don't ever, ever, eat your sister's cooking. If you have to eat your crayons, at least they'll be safer than whatever she'll try to serve you. They're non-toxic. Secret recipe my ass! Leia can sleep peacefully tonight. No food critic is looking for the 14 secret herbs and spices that make up that recipe…But the Coruscant Health Department is! Yes they are! Yeah! We can't have hazardous waste in our refrigerator. No way! No, No, No!"

He holds Li-An above him. The infant laughs as Anakin makes fun of Leia's cooking. Li-An babbles in response and kicks gleefully. Luke slouches in the armchair across from his father.

"So, Dad, what are we going to do about lunch and dinner?"

Threepio pops back into the living room.

"Excuse me, Master Ani, but…" He points to the kitchen.

"Did I ask you anything?"

The droid thinks for a moment.

"Well…actually…never mind." The insulted droid walks away. "They'll be crying, begging me for help, but they won't get it. The master can be so ungrateful at times. I know the solution. Fine, let him fend for himself. He'll do no better. And that poor baby. I'm telling Miss Isabel as soon as she comes home."

"So, Dad, what happened to the servants?"

"Your mother thought they deserved a vacation so she gave them 2 weeks off. She said we needed to be more self-reliant. She told me I need to unlearn what I have learned. She must have been yapping to Yoda about me."

"I think she wants you to do things for yourself like when we were kids and she taught you how to clean and cook."

"Ha! That didn't last long. Cook? She must be nuts. I'm a busy man. A busy man needs to be fed." He sits up and places the baby on his lap. The phone is nearby. Anakin speaks into it and gives the number 4-5-2-3-9-7. "Hi, who's the best boss in the world? Yes. Yes...I know…Well, we're starving here. You hard at work? Oh, that memorandum can wait. Ten minutes? I suppose Luke and I will last that long." He winks over at Luke and gives him a 'thumbs-up.' Luke is flipping through a magazine.

Anakin hangs up with a wide smile on his face. He thought it was clever that the phone number when written in letter form spells G-L-A-D-Y-S.

Across town, Isabel and Leia prepare for their holo shoot. The holographer particularly enjoys working with the Skywalker women. He is a tall man in his late thirties dressed in tight pants and a white shirt open midway down his chest exposing a crop of wild chest hair. He is wearing a gold loop in his right ear. His neatly cropped goatee and mustache is streaked with a few grey strands. His dark hair is poking out of a pirate's bandana. Leia notices three platinum rings on his fingers. One has an image of a naked woman on it as Leia shakes his hand during the introduction. He showers them with flattery.

"So…you girls waiting for your moms?"

Isabel corrects him.

"We're mother and daughter."

"Get out! You're yanking my chain. You two lovelies are amazing. You possess flawless beauty. My name is Nigel and I'm going to work to make you ladies more smashing that you already are if that's possible. We are going to have a glorious time this afternoon. Right? Alright. Marvelous."

The two women are seated in the Queen Jamillia Senate Garden on an ornate bench. The session takes about 45 minutes, 15 minutes longer than it should have. Nigel still has a few more mother-daughter pairs waiting in the day room nearby. As the photo shoot is about to end, Nigel hands Leia and Isabel his business card.

"You girls should call me when you get a chance. I do photo spreads for Shapanihouse Magazine… if you're interested. Here's my business data card. You can play it and find out about my work on the holovid…"

Leia examines the card.

"What sort of magazine is that?"

"A publication for distinguished gentlemen."

"Oh, no thanks."

Keep the card. Some women like to get a special edition for their boyfriends and husbands. Leia and Isabel look at one another and blush like 12-year old schoolgirls.

"Leia, I love your lips, Darling…Yes….make love to the camera, love…"

"What?"

"Oh…never mind. I was thinking of another shoot I have tomorrow. Ok, Nice mum and daughter pose, ladies. Lovely, just lovely. Breathtaking."

After the shoot, he shows them his 'private portfolio.' It is enlightening and quite revealing. They leave because the next mother-daughter session is about to begin. The final images for 'Mother-Daughter Senate Day' are spectacular.

The afternoon is followed by a luncheon in the private Galactic Senatorial dining room featuring distinguished guests such as female governors and senators from across the galaxy.

Leia is proud to have Isabel accompany her to this event. Isabel can't get over being selected over Leia's Aunt Sola or her grandmother Jobal. Besides, Jobal, who is a local senator on Naboo, was there with Pooja and Ryoo. It was satisfaction enough that Padmé's memory is being honored during the presentation of a scholarship for young women who wish to study political science. The keynote speaker at the luncheon is Chief-of-State Mon Mothma.

There is a group holograph sitting for all the Naberrie women. Isabel thought it would be a nice touch to have the official Senate holographer take a family image. Jobal remembers Isabel from years ago during the bi-weekly trips to Naboo. This is the first time she has ever spoken to Anakin's new wife at length. She realizes she actually likes her.

After the luncheon, the women go to a nearby bistro and order drinks from the bar. They sit around chatting for hours.

Back at home, Anakin and Luke are in the kitchen eating fish and mustarfries with Koth-li-slaw courtesy of Gladys. Li-An is in a booster seat in the highchair.

Gladys had arrived shortly after noontime. She carries a shopping bag full of hot food. Threepio opens the door.

"Well, it's Madame Gladys. How are you?"

"I'm fine, Threepio, thank you. How are you?"

"Quite well, Madame." He whispers to her. "The natives are restless."

Anakin comes out to greet her.

"Oh, Gladys, you are a lifesaver. We were starving!"

"Well, I got here as soon as I could. Traffic is terrible. I think there's an 'Earth Wars' convention in town. All the crazies are out and about. Here's the food. Luke, welcome back. I heard from Master Halcyon this morning. He stopped by the office to speak to Chancellor Valorum" She sees the baby. "Oh, hello, precious. How's our little Li-An?"

Anakin smiles as he cradles the baby in his arms.

"He's fine." Li-An grabs at the bag. Anakin hands it to Luke who opens the bag and inhales the aroma of freshly fried food. "No, Li, it's hot. It's not for baby."

Luke goes to the kitchen and removes the takeout containers from the bag. He hands Luke a Rodia cream soda. Li-An reaches for the soft drink. Luke grabs the beverage and sets it on the table.

"Oh, this smells great! Gladys, you are our hero."

"Well, I can't have my boys starving." She ruffles Luke's hair as he grabs a couple of forks and knives.

"Thank you, Gladys."

"You're welcome, sweetheart. Let me hold this little boy while you enjoy your lunch. I can't believe there's no food in the house."

Anakin and Luke glance at one another. They pray Gladys doesn't start a kitchen investigation. Fortunately, for them she is fussing over the baby too much to think about what provisions are in the Skywalker pantry. Artoo and Threepio use Skippy as their 'tracking' dog. The pantry is filled to capacity. Threepio puts his metallic hands on his hips and lets out a frustrated huff.

"Those conniving scamps."

Anakin asks Gladys to use his study to write his memo. He takes Li-An and places him in the highchair. Luke and his father take several jars of Arbra-Tatooine baby food. Li-An is the taste-tester. Anakin feeds the infant a spoonful of Kashyyyk rice and peas. Li-An makes a sour face and promptly spits it out. Anakin shrugs.

"Well, that one is a loser….try the rice and duck, Luke. Open up that bad boy."

Luke takes a turn feeding the baby. Li-An turns away. Gladys walks into the kitchen after sitting in Anakin's study. She looks in horror as Luke and Anakin play baby food roulette with Li-An.

"What are you doing?"

"It's a taste test."

Gladys examines the jars.

"Anakin Skywalker! You can't give him all of these at once! Oh Dear! Poor baby. Anakin, you try one at a time over a few days…not all at once." She lets out an exasperated sigh. Anakin looks up at her with an innocent expression on his face.

"Oh, is that a bad thing?"

"He could be allergic."

"Well Luke told me to."

"Get rid of this stuff…go on."

Luke and Anakin obey. Luke whispers to his father as they clear the table.

"I told you we should only give him one."

"No you didn't"

"Yes I did."

"You don't remember what you said. When are you going to take a nap? You're travel weary. You don't know what you said."

"Do too."

Gladys meanwhile mixes some rice cereal and a bit of Felucia mango baby food. Li-An likes it a lot. Anakin watches.

"Oooh, can I do that?"

"Can you be trusted?" You two shouldn't be left alone with a little baby." Li-An grabs the spoon as she holds it and slurps up the remaining remnants left on the back. He whimpers to get her attention so he can get another mouthful of food. She is busy scolding Luke and his father.

Threepio chimes in with a haughty remark.

"You are so right, Madame. These two are horribly reckless. Reckless, I tell you. Sometimes they cause accidents."

Anakin counters back as he looks over at Threepio.

"Some droids are reckless. Sometimes they have accidents."

Threepio gasps in fear. Gladys wags her finger at Anakin.

"Anakin, be nice."

"Yes, Gladys."

"That's my boy. Now I want you to tidy up before your wife comes home. You too, Luke. I know you just got back but I'm sure you have enough energy to help your father before you take a nap.

"Yes, Ma'm."

"I will play with the baby while you two tidy up."

After they complete their 'chores' Gladys inspects the kitchen. She kisses each of them before she leaves.

"Got to go. I need to distribute this memo in the morning. Anakin, be nice to Threepio, and Luke, you help your father."

They respond like two zombies.

"Yes, Gladys."

After Gladys makes her departure, Anakin and Luke sort though the bag for the dinner course. Li-An is propped up in the playpen playing with his toys.

Luke has taken a shower and a nap. Li-An also takes a nap.

Luke rejoins his father in the living room a couple hours later. Luke brews a pot of jawa. They discuss Luke's mission on the Outer Rim with Master Halcyon.

"Dad, you want milk in your jawa or are you taking it black?"

"Milk, thanks."

"I can't find…uhm…never mind I got it.."

Isabel and Leia return early that evening. Anakin and Luke are standing in the living room waiting for them. Leia and Isabel enter the house giggling.

"Oh, Hi, Dad. Hi, Luke."

Anakin looks at the two women.

"Are you two drunk?"

Isabel is insulted.

"No, we are not drunk."

"You two look pretty happy."

Leia walks pass her father.

"We were away from you all afternoon. Of course we're happy."

Anakin looks into his wife's eyes.

"You've been drinking."

"I had one glass of wine. Relax. I made six bottles of milk. He'll be fine for a few hours. So, where's my little baby?"

"He's here. Oh, we have a surprise for you." Anakin is beaming.

"What?"

Luke and Anakin step aside to reveal Li-An sitting on his own on the sofa. Li-An smiles when he sees his mother. Isabel squeals with joy.

"Oh! My baby! He's sitting all by himself."

Leia claps.

"When did he do that?"

Luke smiles proudly.

"Today. Isn't it great?"

Isabel is blissfully happy.

"It's wonderful. So, what did you guys do all day while we were out?"

"We did ok. We had lunch and dinner in case you were concerned. We managed the best we could."

"What did you cook?"

"We had fish and salad."

"Oh."

Leia promptly walks into the kitchen and looks in the trash. She sees the empty take-out containers then smiles. She sees the empty baby bottles. She returns to the living room.

"Li-An looks as if he's hungry. Hand us a bottle, Dad."

"Uhm…Isabel, you need to be more responsible. The baby needs to be fed."

"I made enough milk for the night…what happened?" She takes the baby.

Anakin becomes defensive when she starts questioning him.

"He was especially hungry this afternoon."

Isabel looks at her husband. She is suspicious that something is afoot. She goes into the kitchen and sees the last bottle. It is empty. Next to the pot of hot jawa are two cups. Anakin follows her but he is too late. She has discovered the evidence. Luke, his cohort is standing in the doorway behind his father. Isabel holds up the bottle then shakes it in front of her husband accusingly. Li-An tries to reach for it.

"You degenerate!" She sees Luke and looks him in the eye. "Both of you! The baby's milk, Anakin? How could you?"

Leia folds her hands across her chest and looks at her brother and father please that she has caught on to their treachery.

"Busted."

Isabel carries the baby back into the living room. Li-An is so happy to see his mother he is full of endless smiles. Anakin takes the baby from her.

"Anakin, what are you doing? I haven't seen him all day."

"Oh, we have another surprise for you."

"What now?"

"It's a good thing. He is an amazing baby. This kid has great reflexes. He's a fast learner. He's going to be the perfect Jedi. The Force is strong with him. Come on, Li. Show Mom what you can do."

Anakin sits the baby on the sofa. Li-An looks up at everyone. Suddenly Luke's lightsaber goes sailing across the room and lands in the baby's hands. It ignites. The ominous humming sound fills the room.

Anakin looks down at the floor.

"Bel? Bel?" He looks up at the twins. "Oooo…she didn't take that well at all."

Leia rolls her eyes.

"Gee, Dad. You think?"

A Few Minutes Later In the Master Bedroom.

Isabel opens her eyes. Anakin places a new compress on her head. Li-An is sitting on the pillow beside her shaking her door keys and cooing. Isabel sits up. Anakin stands close by.

"You feeling ok?"

"How long has he known how to do that?"

"Since this morning. Oh, you were getting dressed. Apparently, you didn't see everything from the mirror. How's your head?"

"It hurts. What do you think?"

"But he's talented, you've got to admit."

Li-An reaches for his mother. She is about to nurse him. Anakin is horrified.

"Don't try to feed our child with your 'Obi-_Wine Kaboobies_.'"

"Oh be quiet. I had one glass of wine. This is all your fault."

"You're in denial...My son is going to be inebriated. You know how hard he's tried to sit upright during the past week?"

"He's fine."

He is about to slide on the bed beside her when he accidentally knocks over her purse. A data business card falls out onto the floor.

"Oh, what's this?"

"Someone who appreciates my assets"

Anakin reads the card:

_Nigel Silver Stallion_

_Professional Holographer_

_Specializing in Exotic Images_

_322 Coco Town, Suite16_

_Coruscant 21783_

_Evening Hours Available_

"Who's Nigel?"

_To be continued… 'The Shame and the Fury'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	97. Chapter 97 Shame and the Fury

_Chapter 97_

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

''_The Shame and the Fury''_

'_Men at Work'_

'_Turn Back Old Man'_

'_Splish Splash'_

'_Fashion Accessories'_

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Some time has passed before there is relative calm in the Skywalker home. Anakin is back in the office regularly. Isabel couldn't take him at home everyday. He recalls her exact words to him one afternoon after weeks of shadowing her around the house and fixing things that didn't need fixing.

She assured him, after saying these words; it would save their marriage. He believes her when she says them too. The two words are filled with tough love. To Anakin, these words are filled with more _'tough'_ than _'love'_ and it is a pivotal moment when he hears them from her lips as she is chopping vegetables. She points the knife at him to let him know she, is, in fact speaking to him:

"_Get Out."_

A few other words are at the tail end of this statement from his wife…

"…_before I kill you."_

At this point, Anakin knew she meant business. He felt he had better heed her warning.

Chancellor Valorum is glad to see him walking through the halls again on a fulltime basis. He had been awaiting the return of the former Jedi knight and dark warrior. The officers had as well. It seems they have been so relaxed without the dark lord hovering over the pit in the command center downstairs that they have gotten careless. Star cruisers have gone missing and no one has been unduly punished for it. The officers welcomed the Dark Glove of the Law to restore order. The ominous moniker stuck even after Anakin had his hand reconstructed. Anakin took to wearing the glove to the pit when in the presence of the troops and his officers. For some crazy, illogical reason, wearing it continued to instill fear in them.

Valorum believes the only way to get these men back into shape is to have Anakin riding their asses again. Gladys worked hard on the new memo that Anakin wanted to circulate before his return.

When the memo was sent, there were cheers and celebrations. It was as if their favorite sports team had won the championship, or as if a famous rock star is scheduled to pass through. The particulars of the memo read something like this:

_Dear Military Personnel and Staff Employees:_

_I am pleased to announce that, effective Monday, my extended leave of absence will come to an end and, I will return to the office to resume my duties as your Pit commander and Executive Vice President of Military Strategies and Deployment. I am sure you are all pleased with my return to restore order to the Intergalactic military._

_It has come to my attention that there has been a growing complacency and calm in the ranks during my absence. This level of comfort will not be allowed to continue once I return to restore order._

_There are changes that will take effect on Monday. _

_1. There will be no combat pay for Pit Fatigue stemming from extended shifts. All officers and troops are expected to make the ultimate sacrifice and take one for the team. Your unwavering dedication to the 'cause', whatever that may be, is key to maintaining a strong military presence across the galaxy._

_2. Death Star Bonuses – Since All Death Star projects have been phased out, new bonuses will be available for new projects such as the upbeat Catch a Falling Star Project and Habitat for Lost Star Systems which rebuilds star systems for ones blown up during the Empire's War on the Republic. You must transfer your Death Star Bonus points by the end of the month to get credit._

_3. All officers and stormtroopers, as painful as it may be, will begin Pro-Republic Intergalactic sensitivity training._

_4. Any military personnel needing counseling services should make an appointment with Human Resources to speak to the Military Morale Advisor._

_There will be a meeting on Tuesday to discuss the changes affecting us all under the new Government. I look forward to seeing you and listening to your questions and concerns…as always. I am sure you are all thrilled to have me back as your leader._

_Your illustrious commander,_

_A. Skywalker_

Jar-Jar gets a promotion. He is now the Military Morale Counselor. He has a nice little office overlooking the pit with a side window. He has access to ever officers' personnel file.

Back at home Li-An is growing and learning new 'skills' much to the chagrin of his mother. One good thing, He is very fond of bath time nowadays a stark contrast to the first few days of his young life. He enjoys splashing and playing with his toys. He finds the Force is a great ally when populating the baby tub with more toys it can hold. Isabel doesn't like to use the word 'No' so she simply removes the items from the crowded basin. Bath time is also a new way to stave off the inevitable bedtime. Li-An is also teething so nights are especially tough on his parents. Anakin has started to nickname him 'choppers.'

Anakin spends each morning at the breakfast table with Li-An. He enjoys feeding the baby. Li-An plays with his highchair toys and babbles endlessly. Anakin tries to get his attention.

This is Anakin's first morning back to work. Skippy watches from a safe distance less a bowl of baby food finds its way to the floor.

"Hey, Li, pay attention. Look, it's your favorite, Mango and rice cereal. You eat this stuff everyday ad nauseam. Heavens knows there's other food in here for you. Come on…here comes the star cruiser. Open up the docking bay."

Li-An opens his mouth up wide. He remembers that this is indeed his favorite cereal and grabs the spoon from his father. He slurps up every bit of cereal.

Leia walks into the breakfast room and leans over to kiss her little brother on the cheek. He smiles then shoves her face away.

"Hello you sweet baby. You smell like a little mango. Yes you do!" He tries to feed her.

"No thank you. I don't want to be the only student in my Poli-Sci class with mango in my hair. Feed the big oaf in the chair. Yes! Him! Who is that? Go on, feed him. He loves rice cereal."

Li-An shoves the spoon in Anakin's face. Anakin pretends to eat.

"Uhm…yum."

Leia grins. "Make him eat it for real, Li-An. Tell him not to patronize you."

Anakin ignores her and continues to focus on the baby.

"Uhm…thanks you. Okay, no more. This is your breakfast. Let's finish so Daddy can go to the office. Can you say, 'Daddy'?" Anakin turns to his daughter. "Leia, has he said anything you recognize yet?"

"No…just sounds…when he sees images and pictures… why?" She smoothes the infants' soft hair as her father looks on as if concerned.

"Just wondering."

"Well, Daddy, he's still a little baby. He'll talk in a few months. You won't be able to shut him up. Besides, he only has two teeth."

"You're right. How silly of me. He'll talk when he's ready."

"…and on that note, I have to leave for class."

The baby babbles as Leia leaves.

"Yaaa!"

"Yea!" Leia starts cheering and waving her hands in the air in response. She waves goodbye. Li-An smiles then looks at his father. He immediately opens his mouth waiting to be fed as if nothing has happened. Threepio observes Anakin feeding the baby.

"I think the baby is ready to try a new food, Master."

"What do you know?"

"Master, lest you forget, I'm fluent in millions of languages including the most primitive human babble."

"My son is not primitive."

"Well, he's still a lovely child even if he hasn't yet mastered formal speech. Pity you'll miss all the new things he'll be learning. These are, after all, his formative years. Just think, he'll be learning to walk as you're instilling fear in the troops. He'll say his first words while you're away in the Perlemian Trade Route attending trade talks…"

"What are you talking about?" Anakin can feel his temper building. He is also becoming anxious.

"Well, Sir, now that you'll be back to work, you won't be seeing the little tyke during the day and forget about the evening! He'll be sound asleep. He may not even remember who you are."

"Are you saying I might miss out on a good portion of my child's life? I can't allow this to happen. I've missed so much before with the twins…"

"Now, Master Ani, you worry too much. Before you know it, he'll be off to do his apprenticeship…you won't have to worry about all that in-between nonsense. Miss Isabel is quite capable of pulling a loose tooth and helping him ride his first Youngling tricycle…It would be less work for you…"

Anakin Force-tosses the droid across the breakfast room floor. Apparently, Anakin is hearing more information than he needed. He is full of Sith angst right now. Li-An is still fascinated by the tossing of the droid. He turns in his highchair to follow the trail of loose gold metal parts. He laughs and begins to clap. His hands are covered with baby cereal because Anakin, in his fretful rage, sets the bowl down. Li-An immediately grabs it and succeeds in making a mess. He tips the bowl and spreads the baby gruel all over. The next sound is a cry Isabel is not prepared to hear so early in the morning.

"'Bel!"

Anakin calls out in his most stressed voice ever.

Isabel rushes downstairs to the breakfast room. She is awakened from the only real sleep she will get all day. Isabel looks at her husband.

"Yes, Master?"

"Isabel, I just heard something horrible."

"What is it, Anakin?"

"I'm going to miss all of my child's developmental milestones. This can't happen to me again, Isabel."

"Oh, Anakin! You woke me from a wonderful sleep for that? You're more neurotic than I thought."

"I want you to promise me you'll alert me as soon as Li-An does something new. Promise?"

"Promise. Can I go back to bed now?"

"In a minute, don't be so selfish. You've got your 5 hours beauty sleep. What do you think about me taking Li to work with me in the morning?"

Isabel yawns and runs her fingers through her hair.

'I would say you're insane."

"Come on, 'Bel. You would deny me a chance to bond with my son?"

"You two bond all day. Get over it. You'll see him when you come home for dinner."

"But that's a whole 8 hours"

"Oh stop your whining. Besides, I'm going to spend the day with my baby."

"Fine. Just promise me you won't take him to that chichi tea party place."

"The Bimmisari Tea House?"

"Yeah, that's the place. Ewww. A bunch of rich yappy chicks with nothing else to do all day."

"Well, we can go other places. I have a back-up plan."

"Oh, wow, could that possibly be the chichi baby boutique next to the chichi women's boutique you women go to before the tea hut? Don't buy anymore of that fancy crap for my boy."

"Fine."

"You know….I was just thinking…"

"Oh, God."

"Don't start judging me yet. I was just thinking…before I was rudely interrupted….maybe I should postpone my return to work…"

Isabel is wide-awake now.

"Hell, no! You _will_ go to the office. I promise you."

"Ok. Take it easy. What's your problem, not enough sleep?"

"Don't start. And clean the baby and put Threepio back together before you leave this house."

"Yes, Ma'm!"

After Anakin repairs the morning damages, he takes a shower and gets dressed. Isabel walks to the door with him to see him off to work. Li-An is in her arms.

"Believe me. Anakin, this is going to be the best thing for us."

Li-An reaches for his father. Anakin holds the baby and hugs him.

"Says you. Hey, Li…want to go with me? I would take you but your mother is standing here giving me the evil eye. Go to her."

Isabel takes the baby.

"Promise me you'll call if he does anything new, ok?"

"I promise.. I'll even holo-conference you so you can see everything. Now go. I love you."

"I love you guys."

"I know, sweetie. You have a nice day. I packed a surprise lunch for you."

Isabel gives her husband a gentle kiss. She holds the baby up to Anakin's face, Anakin kisses the baby. Anakin feels like a betrayed child being sent off to boarding school.

He finally leaves the house and heads down to the garage. He starts his new silver-blue speeder. The Dark Lord had to treat himself to something nice on his first day back to work. He was enjoying his paternity leave. That Isabel pulled the proverbial rug from under him. Heartless vixen.

Anakin starts the speeder. He exits the garage for the expressway. Suddenly he begins sobbing at the wheel. Someone is laughing aloud.

'_Hahahahaha! Look at you! Bawling your eyes out like a little baby!'_

"It's not funny, Master. How could she do this to me? I'm going to miss him so much!"

Qui-Gon Jinn appears in the backseat.

'_Damn, Ani, get a grip. Why don't you pull over behind that schoolyard and have a good cry without endangering other drivers.'_

"This is just so hard."

'_Ani, you're getting all girly for nothing. This is embarrassing.'_

"What are you embarrassed about? No one can see you! And if you're so embarrassed to be around me then leave."

'_Now, Ani, don't get snippy. Your wife does have a point, you were being a nuisance. She needed her personal space.'_

"She gets her personal space when she goes shopping with her friends. Personal space my ass. She threw me out of the house."

'_Well, she means well…you know she sure looks hot in the morning just rolling out of bed. The hair all messy like she's had a wild night…'_

Anakin stops crying and stares at the Force ghost.

"Do you mind? I don't need to hear your fantasy narrative about my wife."

'_You two still planning a vacation next month?'_

"Yes. And 'No' you're not invited."

Just at this moment, a police speeder pulls up. Anakin is blowing his nose into a tissue. The officer approaches Anakin's vehicle.

"Morning."

"Morning, officer."

"You talking to someone?"

"Uhm….oh…just myself, officer."

"May I ask why you're parked behind a playground?"

"What? I'm on my way to work…"

"You use Ewok baby wipes to blow your nose?"

"Uhm…what?" He looks at the 'tissue' Oh…I can explain that…It belongs to my boy."

"License and registration, Sir."

Anakin rolls his eyes and complies. The officer contacts headquarters after inserting Anakin's license into the data reader. Someone gets on the line and speaks to the officer.

"What's going on, Officer?"

"Lieutenant, we have a loiterer parked near the Coruscant Municipal playground…yes…yes he is…yeah, looks like he has…pitiful sight, sir. Oh, really? I didn't know that. Oh, yeah…there's a holograph of the little tot on the back of the registration. ..yes…Yeah, I have a couple of those on me…sure…I'll give him one…ok, Sir…If you say so…will do…yes, sir. Over and out."

The officer digs in his pocket and pulls out his ticket book. Anakin feels he is royally screwed now. He doesn't want a ticket. Now he has to deal with a martinet officer who is playing by the book. The Sith is going to have this on his driving record. Crap.

Anakin holds out his hand prepared to accept his parking violation. He is caught off-guard when the officer returns his documents and a COPD card.

"What's this?"

"Your brother-In-Law asked me to tell you to paste this on your windshield. I'm supposed to watch you do it because he said you would either forget or think it's a fortune tellers' business card or some other nonsense and you'll immediately throw away."

"Oh…" Anakin decides to read the back of the sticker.

-Friend of the Coruscant City Police Department.-

Free pass to get away with "_sith"_

Anakin's eyes widen and a faint smile forms across his face. "Cool. Thanks officer."

"You're welcome, Mr. Skywalker. Have a nice day."

Before the officer can finish his sentence , Anakin speeds off over the city speed limit. Qui-Gon re-appears in the back seat, the breeze blowing through his ghostly hair.

'_Sweet! You get to break the law everyday, Ani. Plan to mow over a few pedestrians or knock over a bank today?'_

"I wonder why I never got one of these before."

'_You did but you tossed it into your key tray at home because you thought it was a solicitation.'_

"Oh, really? Why didn't you tell me?"

'_Uh…one of your kids picked it up.'_

"Darn that Luke!"

Across town at University City, a Hoth White SoroSuub SMW 2006 650i Convertible is parked in a faculty space. Leia thought it was justified payback for the professor who gave her a B+ on her mid-term. She knows she is deserving of an 'A.' Later that day the same vehicle is double-parked outside the Coruscant Teen Boutique for two hours while she is inside trying on some new outfits. The police could do nothing about it.

Anakin arrives at the office. As he enters the building, a familiar tune can be heard… 'Da-dum-dadum…da da dum da da dum…da…dadum..' The stormtroopers and officers stand at attention as the Dark Lord walks through the lobby passing the security desk. Qui-Gon smiles and waves as if he is in a procession. The ghost and his former padawan disappear into a private elevator. Qui-Gon hums the tune as they are taken to the executive floor. The Imperial March music fades once the elevator rises.

'_Ani, I gotta hand it to you, that is a catchy-ass tune. I give it a 95. Lyrics could use some work. Sounds as if they're calling you dumb. Got to watch out for the subliminal messages there, Ani. Nevertheless, you get respect! You're the man! I could see chicks lining up for that! Tossing their panties over the balcony…'_

Anakin is offended by the Jedi ghost's ideas.

"I am a happily married man."

'_There's no written rule that says you can't have a Sith fan club or groupies.'_

The elevator doors open. They walk down the hall. It is strange not to see the red-cloaked Imperial guards anymore. Instead, the halls are lit with soft lighting and neatly dressed Republic pages greet visitors with friendly smiles.

They arrive at his office. Before opening the door, Anakin points to the Force Ghost as if issuing a warning. He is.

"No sudden appearances and no floating objects. I don't want you frightening Gladys."

'_Aye-Aye, Sir.' _Qui-Gon salutes. Anakin's serious demeanor amuses him.

They enter the suite. Gladys looks up to see her favorite boss. She stands and walks around the desk to greet him.

"Mr. Skywalker, welcome back! It's so good to see you again. How handsome you look in your new suit. Did your wife pick it out for you?"

"Yes she did."

Gladys notices the blue tote.

"Did she pack a lunch for you?"

"Yes she did."

"Shall I put it in the fridge for you?"

"Sure, thanks, Gladys. Any messages?"

"Yes. Chancellor Valorum would like to see you when you have a moment and your father-in-law called about a boating excursion. Governor Tarkin would like to have you as his guest of honor at a Blood Drive. Oh, and your son called…"

"Which one?"

"Why, Luke of course! Don't be silly. The baby wouldn't be calling you. He says he needs your answer about Hoth. He said you would know what that means. He's left several messages about it."

"Oh, yes, I knew that. Thanks. Oh, Gladys, I just thought I should let you know, because I want to be honest with you…"

"What's that, sir?"

"My former master is with me this morning."

"Oh. Ohhhh. Is he here now?" She looks around.

"Yes."

Qui-Gon waves but Gladys does not see him.

"He says 'Hello'."

"Oh, Hello…wherever you are…" She waves.

"Well, I'll be starting work now. Take calls for the next hour while I get my thoughts together."

"Of course, Sir."

Anakin disappears inside his office. Qui-Gon follows and takes a seat in one of the side chairs.

'_Hey, Ani, why do the living always look around when someone tells them there's a ghost in the room? It's not as if they can see anything. Cracks me up every time'_

Anakin logs onto his computer. He is barely listening to the Force-Ghost because he is busy loading new wallpaper of his three children.

Later that morning Isabel is dressed and sets out with the baby in the YUV. She stops to pick someone up. She has several things on her agenda today. She has been putting off one of the items on her _'To Do'_ list for some time. She never keeps secrets from her husband but she had to do this, without giving him advance warning. She wanted to handle the matter he way and not how Anakin would have liked it. She is nervous about what she is planning to do. This is the hardest thing she has ever done. Her head is swirling with emotions. She debated whether to bring along moral support.

The place is nicer than she had imagined. She decides to go in alone. Li-An was a safe distance away. She knocks on the door. Someone answers.

"Come in."

Isabel walks in. She is face-to-face with the old goat.

"Isabel! What a lovely surprise… how are y…"

She wastes no time and whales on the old Sith with her designer handbag. Palpatine tries in vain to shield himself from the impact. The orderlies and security poke their heads in then leave chuckling as they head back to the nurses station. They playfully imitate the attack then turn on the security camera to watch as they munch on popcorn and eat pizza.

"Tomo, come over here and look at this. His daughter-In-Law is beating the crap out of him. This is your boy Palps. Should we help him?

"No…if she starts hitting him with the heel of her shoe then maybe we'll stop it, but she is pretty ticked off. I like her style."

Back in the room, Isabel continues the assault.

"You tried to take my baby and you've made my husband's life miserable, you S.O.B.!"

"Isabel, please…I'm sorry…can't you cut an old man a break? I was wrong. Yes, I'm guilty of all of those horrible things but I was filled with blind ambition and greed."

She continues to hit him.

"So you almost ruin his life? I spent over ten guilt-filled years worrying about him. How could you? You're a horrible man!"

"Ahhhhh! Isabel, please…please…have some mercy!"

"Why? You never showed anyone else mercy."

After a few minutes of ass whipping, Isabel is exhausted. The two back away from one another and sit in the chair. Palpatine rubs his head.

"Isabel, I am truly ashamed of my actions. I'm ashamed of my behavior. I have truly sinned. I have hurt my dear boy Anakin. I was selfish. I am a pitiful example of a man. You have every right to be furious. I need to do better. I don't want to grow old and alone."

"You're already old."

"But I don't want to leave this world without having peace with my family."

"Does your head hurt?"

"I could use some ice. That's some handbag you have there."

"It's custom-made. It's an Utapa bag."

"It makes a formidable weapon. It's much more civilized than a blaster."

"It's made of top grade dactillion leather. It'll last forever… through lots of beatings."

"I can see that.. Can I have some ice for my head?"

"Don't they teach you manners in this place?"

"Please."

"That's better."

"Where's little Li-An?"

"Why do you need to know?"

"He is my grandson."

"Oh, so, you want to see my child, the very child you tried to take from me and harm?"

"I admit it was a lapse of judgment. Please?"

She grabs her handbag. Palpatine flinches and shield his face in a nervous reflex. Isabel leaves the room. A few minutes later, she returns with an ice bag and slaps it on his head. He winces.

"Owww! Anakin always commented how delicate and gentle you are. What happened?"

"You. You have a habit of bringing out the worst in people."

"Am I going to have to apologize for the rest of my life?"

"Yes."

"Isabel, I want us to be friends."

"Don't speak to me."

Just then, Quisanne walks through the door. She is carrying Li-An.

"Oh, here you are. The orderlies said you were busy 'talking' and couldn't be disturbed."

"I'm done."

"Oh, what happened to him?"

"My purse fell on him."

The orderlies and nurses are still watching the security monitor and laughing. Tiny, the other burly 300-plus pound orderly slaps his hand on the counter and laughs.

"Damn! She's cold. This chick is pissed!"

Back in the room, Isabel sits back in the chair. She removes her high heels. The orderlies start to get up recalling how they would intervene if she removes the high-heel designer shoes.

"Oh, sith, she taking off the pumps…"

Tomo calls for calm.

"Hold on…lets see if she uses it…"

Isabel curls and flexes her toes.

"Wow these shoes hurt. That's better."

Ouisanne looks at her daughter.

"I told you not to wear those shoes. Those shoes are for catching men."

"I know but Anakin likes me to wear them every once in awhile…never mind." She remembers who is in the room with them. Palpatine looks over at Isabel's mother.

"Mrs. Nor, how nice you see you again."

"Watch it, you old bulldog, I've got my eyes on you too! I should give you a piece of my mind but my daughter asked me to stay out of this."

"You're as lovely as ever. Mother and daughter. What a beautiful vision."

Isabel rolls her eyes at him.

"Shut up!"

Ouisanne scolds her daughter.

"Now, Isabel. Be nice."

Palpatine continues with the compliments.

"Oh, if only I were a few years younger and I met you before you married, I could have made you an empress."

"Oh really? Why, Mr. Palpatine, you charming man."

Isabel is thoroughly repulsed watching her mother gushing for this despicable man.

"Mother!"

Palpatine takes Ouisanne by the hand. Isabel grabs Li-An from her. Palpatine continues to lather on the Sith snake charm.

"Call me Dantius, please. What lovely soft hands you have. Your suit is lovely. Is it a Mon Calamari original?"

"Why yes it is."

"You and your daughter are impeccable dressers."

"Why thank you." Ouisanne turns to her daughter and smiles. Isabel pokes her finger down her throat as if she is going to gag.

Palpatine looks over at Isabel but speaks to Ouisanne.

"Could I see little Li-An?"

"Isabel, let the old goat see the baby."

"Mother!" Isabel pouts then reluctantly hands the baby to the old man. Palpatine smiles and bounces the baby. Li-An does something he hasn't done since he was a newborn. He spits up his lunch on the old sith. The orderlies start howling outside. Isabel takes her baby back. After rinsing his face, Palpatine chats with the women for a while. Isabel sees how pathetic he truly is. She surmises he does not get many visitors. Before the women leave, he asks Isabel for a favor.

"I'm sorry to involve you in this, Isabel but I haven't heard from Anakin about the senior citizen's condo. He said he was going to get back to me about it but…if you could find it in your heart…"

"Sure. Well, I have to go."

"Of course. And, Isabel?"

"Yes?"

"I am truly sorry. I hope that some day you can forgive me."

"Well…good afternoon."

Ouisanne waves to the old man after handing him a fresh ice bag. Li-An looks over his mother's shoulder and Force-tosses the old ice bag at Palpatine.

After the women leave, Tomo and Tiny enter the room.

"Hey, Palps, man…looks like you got a real beat down. You owe those women money or something?"

"You could have come in to help me."

"We're not paid to get involved in family matters."

"Ooooh, I can't wait to get out of this place!"

"Your son must hate your ass to stick you in here. Hehehhe."

Back at the office, Anakin goes to the refrigerator to retrieve the lunch pouch. Gladys offers to heat it for him. She brings his lunch to him on a tray. She is watching him look at something new on his desk. It is a holograph of Li-An in a beautiful frame.

"Oh, Anakin, he is so precious. You are so lucky to have Isabel do these things for you."

"Yeah…"

"It's good to see you back at the office."

"Thanks, Gladys. It's good to be back."

That evening at home Anakin gives Li-An his bath. Qui-Gon sits on the edge of the tub. Skippy stands at the side of the tub wagging his tail. This is Anakin's private time with the baby. Li-An splashes the water as he babbles and squeals. He smiles up at Qui-Gon.

"See, Ani, you get to spend the best part of the day with Li-An. Isabel doesn't want you to miss out on anything."

"It is the best time, isn't it?"

"Yep. She doesn't have to mop up."

"Well, she's had a rough day."

"That was a brave thing she did."

"She could have told me."

"She wanted to do this without your help."

"The nursing home called to tell me she beat him with her purse."

"See? What did I tell you? A chick with a handbag and a pair of high heels can do more damage than a blaster. She did alright. So, how long are you going to keep the old bat in that place? He's powerless."

"Until I think he deserves an upgrade. I know he's powerless. He's being punished. Let him whine a little longer. He'll see what it truly means to feel helpless. When he turns back on his old ways in his heart then I'll think about getting him his little retirement cottage." Anakin looks at Li-An. "Li-An, it's been over half an hour. It's time for bed. You're right, Master. This floor is a mess." He lifts the baby from the tub and wraps him in a towel. "I have you now. Don't look to Qui-Gon to save you. You're going to bed. We're going to show your mother I know how to put you to bed on time."

After Li-An is tucked safely in bed, Anakin turns out the light and closes the door. Li-An uses the Force to lift Skippy into the crib. The two drift off to sleep.

Anakin walks into the dining room to enjoy a candlelit dinner with his beautiful purse-wielding wife. She rests her feet on his lap after he is finished his meal.

"See, if you wore more comfortable shoes we wouldn't need to do this all the time."

"I know. I miss you already."

"Want me back home full-time?"

"No."

"Well then, you'll have to wear the shoes tomorrow night."

"What outfit should I wear?"

"Outfit? There's no need for an outfit." He massages her feet and smiles.

_To be continued… 'Employee Relations'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	98. Chapter 98 Sith Troop

_Chapter 98_

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''_Sith Troop'_

'_Employee Relations'_

'_Baby Doc'_

'_Brown Paper Packages…'_

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The Auditorium fills up at 08:00 hours. The Joint Chiefs of the Republic and Former Empire take their places on stage. Governor Grand Moff Tarkin, General Carlist Rieekan, General Jan Dodonna, Admiral Piett, Admiral Motti, and General Tagge accompany Supreme Chancellor Valorum on the dais.

Anakin has not made an appearance yet. The audience seats fill up quickly. A herald appears on the floor in front of the stage. Two trumpeters who perform a brief flourish flank him before he speaks.

"Hear Ye, Hear Ye, the Great New Galactic Republic greets the Honorable Supreme Chancellor of the Galactic Republic , Governors, Esteemed military officers and all branches all branches of the Intergalactic Military. May the Gods bless this great galaxy and the universe beyond. Please rise for the Executive Chief of Military, Executive Vice President, and illustrious Dark Lord of the Galaxy and all-together cool dude, Anakin Skywalker."

The trumpeters perform another flourish. The herald exits the room with the trumpeters. As he exits, the auditorium floors and walls begin to vibrate to the sound of remote marching. The troops and officers turn in their seats towards the rear of the auditorium. Suddenly a drill sergeant hits the floor with the bottom of a staff.

"All Rise! Geez!"

Everyone stands at attention as the marching grows louder and closer. _'Da-dum-dadum…da da dum da da dum… Da-dum-dadum…da da dum da da dum...' _

The doors at the rear of the auditorium fly open. A stormtrooper is stationed at either side of every door. A tall dark figure appears from the entrance of the auditorium. Suddenly the figure stands and appears befuddled and nervously looks around. He swallows the lump in his throat and waves his hands. Something flaps around his head.

"Ooooh…Meesa sooo sorry…meeesa be berry late!"

The marching sound gets louder. Someone behind Jar-Jar speaks to him over the background music and the marching. The figure speaks in an ominous but patient voice.

"Jar-Jar?"

"Yessa, Massa?" His ears flaps as he turns toward the voice.

"Take a seat...please."

"Okiday… boss…Meesa finds seat fast. Excoose me…passing through…'scusa Meesa. Coming through."

Jar-Jar sees an empty seat but it is in the middle of a row near the back. He causes a disruption in his attempt to get to the seat. The Imperial officers step aside to permit the Gungan to pass.

Just outside the auditorium, someone is growing impatient tapping a booted foot on the granite and marble floor. Labored breathing can be heard. Suddenly the voice speaks again from beyond the doors. The tone of the voice is filled with of aggravation:

"Will everyone just _'effing' _move down a seat, _please_?" The officers comply with the command.

In a softer and regretful tone, as if speaking to himself, the voice continues. "Why couldn't I have just stayed home…?"He lets out a heavy sigh._ "…_ Man…_sith!_"

Everyone sits. There is still silence. The officers remember to stand again. The voice beyond the big doors speaks once more: "Thank you."

The music resumes followed by the marching. _'Da-dum-dadum…da da dum da da dum… Da-dum-dadum…da da dum da da dum...' _

The music swells as the Dark Lord enters the auditorium followed by 400 clone troopers from the 501st Legion. Admiral Motti and General Tagge roll their eyes as Anakin marches down the aisle towards the stage. The clone troopers line up along the aisles as the Dark Lord ascends the stage. He shakes hands with the officials on the dais. He high-fives General Dodonna then fakes a high-five with General Tagge. Anakin laughs as he pretends to Force-choke Admiral Motti. He points to the humiliated officer. "Gotcha! Ha! He falls for that one every time. What a jerk." The audience cheers as the Sith presses the flesh.

Anakin flips his long cloak back to reveal a black wool blend tailored suit as he makes his way over to the podium. At least his wife made sure he looked good on his first two days after kicking him out of the house. The audience is still cheering. He looks out over the crowd. Everyone starts to sit.

"Who told you to be seated? Get off your asses and show your commander some love."

The audience rises again with cheers and whistles.

And that's how a Sith thrives…_with thunderous applause._

"Alright, now that's better. You all get to live another day. Ok!" He holds up a gloved hand. Let's get down to business." Anakin taps the microphone. "This thing work? Crap…who's in charge of audio around here?" He looks around as if searching for someone to accept responsibility.

Immediately, a dozen stormtroopers rush into the audio control booth. With blasters aimed directly at the sound engineer, bullets are flying and ricochet off the soundboard. The engineer tries to cover his head with a program he grabs from the console to shield himself from impending death. He scrambles under the control board. After several rounds of gunfire, not one blaster bullet touches the nerve-rattled engineer. The stormtroopers exit the booth. Suddenly a shaky hand reaches over the console and slides the volume dial controlling the microphone. Everything is back to normal. The Dark Lord speaks into the mike.

"Can you hear me now?"

The troops respond in unison. "Yes, master."

The Dark Lord is more upbeat now. He is almost jubilant.

"Alright, we're good. It's so nice to be back. First of all, let me just thank the distinguish military leaders and our new chancellor for taking time out of their busy schedule to be here on this special day. I won't talk long because I want to open the floor to questions from you, our newly merged best, and finest of the Republic and Imperial armed forces... We have instituted a 'Getting to know you.' Program to develop closer relations between the two divisions. I understand the 'Swap-A-Skill' event went well. We discovered something about the Imperial troops. They look stylish in their white Kevlar suits but uniforms don't make the soldier…great aim does. Just something to think about before you go on another mission."

He gestures for a member of the former Rebel Alliance to step up on stage. The soldier obliges and stands at attention. Anakin paces the stage and points to the soldier. Gentlemen, this is an example of an excellent fighting soldier. He doesn't have the best uniforms but that will soon change; but he's a superior soldier. Does anyone know who Lieutenant Jek Porkins was?"

Silence.

"None of you dumbasses knows."

An Imperial soldier stands at attention. Anakin acknowledges him.

"Private Kendal Jr.?"

"Was he the guy that had16 confirmed kills in under 40 hours of actual combat flight time, Sir."

"That's right, Private Kendal. He shot and killed at least 16 Imperial fighters while eating a supernova star sub at 12 parsecs."

The troops look impressed.

"Does anyone know who Jango Fett was?"

Almost every hand goes up.

"Private Jerjerrod?"

"He shot Zam Wesell"

"That's right. And do you know how far away he was?"

"It was pretty far from the landing near the Outlander Club, Sir!"

"Seventy-Two' meters. He was shooting a moving target. He got off two shots with a twin-action blaster pistol. Do you know where he learned to shoot like that? Private Kendal Jr."

"In the Marines, sir?"

In the Marines. Outstanding. Those individuals showed what one motivated Rebel Marine and Marine- turned bounty hunter and his blaster can do. And before you ladies leave my command, you will all be able to do the same thing. In the meantime, we have decided to use the troops from the Republic, the former Rebel Troopers. As for our Stormtroopers, we'll reserve you for what you do best, "shock and awe." Now, I have been receiving daily reports while I was on leave. I must say, I am sorely disappointed in some of you. I know who you are and I assure you, sloppy performance will be dealt with swiftly and without prejudice."

While the Dark Lord is speaking, a remote scream can be heard as someone is pulled out of their seat and is promptly being 'dealt with' in accordance to the new decree. The Dark Lord resumes his speech.

"There is some good news…the missing Super Star Destroyer has been located and is being towed back to the military hangar today. It will undergo some structural and design changes. If you look at the screen behind me…" After a slight delay, a projector screen appears behind the dais and the lights dimmed. The sound engineer rushes to the projection booth because the projectionist has fainted from the blaster shots minutes before. He starts the promotional clip. Anakin speaks:

"…I present to you the future of Intergalactic entertainment: "The Intergalactic Sports Bar Star Destroyer & Entertainment Center Casino."

A prototype of the soon-to-be newly refurbished Star Destroyer flashes across the screen. In the trailer, there is a scene with actors dressed as officers who are dealing Sabacc cards. Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi winks at the camera and raises his full glass of Caamas. Another image shows gamblers watching a 20-foot plasma screen of a live pod race and cheering. The theme music is catchy too. A washed-up lounge singer performs the theme song. He really hams it up:

_The Star, exciting and new,_

_Come aboard._

_We're expecting you._

_Star, Sith's sweetest reward._

_Let it fly,_

_it flies back to you._

_The Star Destroyer_

_soon will be making a Kes-sel run._

_The Star Destroyer promises Caamas for Obi-Wan._

_Set a course for adventure,_

_Your mind on a new game of chance._

_Losing won't hurt anymore_

_It's a friendly smile unless your credit's gone._

_It's Staaaaaar!_

_Welcome aboard - It's Staaaaaar!_

The clip ends and the screen rises out of sight. There is mass applause. Anakin holds up his hand. The clapping stops. He nods, urging unanimous approval.

"So, what do you think? Pretty good use of an old relic from the Empire, eh? So, any questions about the clip or the New Republic?"

An officer from the former Empire tentatively raises his hand.

"How does one get a job on the New Star Destroyer Casino?"

"Are you thinking of leaving the military, officer?"

"Well…I was considering a career change…ahem…for my cousin."

"Your _'cousin' _can pick up an application in the personnel office. Next question…" He points out into the crowd again. "Ok, you in the uniform."

The officers look around not sure who the Dark Lord is pointing to in the auditorium since they are all in _'uniform.'_ Another officer stands. He is nervous.

"Uhmm, Sir, welcome back, sir. Uhm…"

"Next!" The befuddled officer sits as the impatient Dark Lord moves on to another officer or soldier who is ready to speak. You!"

A stormtrooper stands.

"Commander, Sir…can we see a holograph of your hot new wife and new son?"

Anakin flashes a big grin.

"Is that what you want to see? Ok…" He reaches in his suit pocket as if to reach for his wallet. "No, you can't see one! Sit down!" He changes gears. "Oh, you all received a memo regarding your new employee benefits package. Here to explain some of the perks and to talk about counseling is…Ja-. …Jar-Jar, you know you're supposed to be up here, right?"

Jar-Jar causes a commotion as he gets up to walk to the stage.

"Meesa coming. Excuuse meesa…pardon meesa!"

Anakin is about to raise his had as if to 'force' the officers out of their seats. Without further prompting, the men rush into the aisle to let the Gungan pass.

Jar-Jar makes his way down the aisle and walks onto the stage. Anakin steps aside to allow Jar-Jar to take the podium.

"Good morning Great Dark Lord, illustrious Chancellor Valorum, commanding officers and troops. Meesa Jar-Jar, yousa new morale counselor."

The audience is immediately silent. There are a few 'boos.' Jar-Jar nervously turns to Anakin who is now seated beside Chancellor Valorum. He urges Jar-Jar to continue. Jar-Jar's eyes dart back and forth hoping he is not attacked with blaster shots.

"New Republic mandate give me ultimate power to manage yousa caweer goals. If yoosa have problems and need to talk, Meesa all ears."

Someone in the auditorium shouts out a sarcastic remark.

"You got that right!"

Anakin interrupts. "Who said that?"

Silence. Anakin speaks again. "If you don't identify yourself, you'll have to deal with me."

Suddenly all the officers scramble in their seats leaving a lone pit officer in one of the middle rows. Anakin zeros in on the shaken officer. A sly grin forms across the Dark Lord's face.

"Ahhh…Well…well. Jar-Jar, I think I've just found your new assistant." He addresses the audience again. "Alright, everyone back to your seats. We have to wrap up this meeting. Go ahead, Jar-Jar."

"Okiday, now Meesa have humble servant." He looks back at Anakin. "Former Imperial officer Meesa beetch?"

Anakin responds and returns to his seat.

"Damn straight, Jar-Jar."

Jar-Jar regains confidence.

"Meesa new assistant is Captain Lorth Needa. Heesa be meesa poysonal executive secretary and Go-Fer. Meesa be yousa bestest friend. Men, welcome to the New Republic Order. Meesa Jar-Jar. Before we prowceed any further, weesa gotta get something straight. Yousa mamas are not here to take care of yousa now. It's just yousa, and meesa. No more Uncle Sidious. And before I leave you, you're gonna find out that me and Uncle Sidious, weesa have diffuwent morale techniques."

The officers sit stunned at this revelation. Many of the officers make mental notes to apologize to the Dark Lord for any mistakes or misdeeds they may have committed over the years at his expense. Some of the former Imperial officers are in tears. At this point, Anakin stands and speaks into the microphone. He finds the crying officers amusing.

"Alright! Thank you, Jar-Jar. Let's hear it for Jar-Jar!" He 'encourages applause. "Give it up! Now that's better. Ok. Attention all former Imperial troops, you will report to your morale counselor's office according to the schedule posted on the bulletin board in the Staff cafeteria. Ok, that's it. I gotta get out of here."

The troops stand at attention as the Dark Lord, Chancellor Valorum, Tarkin, and the other high-ranking officials exit the auditorium. The music starts again as the clone troopers escort him out of the auditorium. Anakin heads to the hangar and goes to his speeder. He drives off. The Sith has another more important meeting to attend.

Anakin heads uptown to the doctors' office. He arrives just in time. Isabel is sitting in a chair waiting nervously. Anakin leans over to kiss her.

"Hey…I got here as soon as I could."

"I knew you wanted to be here."

"Did you have to schedule the appointment on the first week I go back to work? Geez, 'bel."

"Sorry."

"No you're not. You think I'm going to create a scene and insult the doctor, don't you?"

"You did last time."

He takes a seat.

A nurse enters the room.

"Mr. and Mrs. Skywalker, the doctor will be with you in a moment."

Anakin looks up and smiles, "Thank you."

He looks down at the floor and smiles even more.

"He looks so peaceful."

"For now. He's been force-grabbing everything in the room. I gave up."

Li-An is sitting on a blanket in a shirt and diaper playing with a box of tongue depressors.

"Li, you miss me?"

Li-An hands Anakin a tongue depressor then wants it back. The doctor arrives.

"Hello, has our Youngling decided he's ready for his exam?"

Isabel smiles cautiously as she reaches for the infant. Li-An clings to her and sucks on his fist.

"He's never going to be ready no matter how many times we visit."

Li-An watches the Jedi pediatrician with apprehension. His mother betrays his trust by handing him to the Jedi doc. Li-An is placed on a scale and weighed.

"Oh, Li-An, you're a healthy 16.5 pounds." The doctor checks his head and body measurements the places him on his back and starts poking and prodding. He checks his ears and heart. Li-An grabs the stethoscope. "Li-An, how come you still don't like me? I've known you since the day you were born. Can't we be friends?"

The baby begins to wail as the physician handles him.

Anakin frowns. "He's got enough friends. You made him cry."

"I gave him one Cardooine immunization last time and he acts as if I killed 'Chewie and Boga'"

"Well, 'Chewie and Boga' deserve to die. I can't believe that program is still on the Plasma after 16 years. Luke and Leia were mesmerized by that moronic show when they were Younglings. Anyway, getting back to you and your needles, he doesn't like to be poked. Can't you give him a patch or something?"

"Mr. Skywalker, we don't give babies patches."

"Well, you should."

"He's not a _Sithoholic_. By the way…how's your patch working?"

Anakin pats the left side of his new designer suit.

"Just great. Got it right here in my pocket."

He speaks calmly as he continues to examine the baby.

"That's a novel place for it …it'll do wonders there. You have such a lovely wife, Mr. Skywalker. How did you get her?"

"I'm a charming guy."

"Really? I may be a Jedi pediatrician now, but I did my internship in Jedi mind control. I can check her for effects of Jedi mind tricks."

"She's crazy about me. Besides, I'm insulted you think I would do such a thing. We have a pure and unwavering love." He points to the baby. "So, when is he going to start talking?"

"That's up to him. He's still young yet. Anakin, why are you so impatient? He's a very intelligent baby. There is no reason for concern. He's still just an infant. Relax."

"Mind if we get a second opinion?"

Isabel is embarrassed. She nudges her husband.

"Anakin! Please."

Li-An teethes on the rubbery part of the Youngling stethoscope. He smiles at his mother and begins to babble.

"Bababaabaaaa…"

Anakin looks at the doctor as he points to the baby.

"Well, Doc, what's he saying?"

"He's vocalizing."

"I know that but what is he saying?"

"I have no idea."

Anakin looks at the doctor with contempt.

"Can we dress him now? He's getting cold and we're obviously wasting time here."

The doctor casually dismisses Anakin's insults then turns his attention to Isabel. He smiles softly.

"Mrs. Skywalker, do you have any questions, my dear?"

"How do I control his habit of grabbing everything that's not tied down? I'm in the supermarket and there are things flying off the shelves."

"Who, your husband? Tell him 'No.' "

"No. Not my husband, the baby."

"Tell him 'No.' "

Anakin interrupts. We were told _'No'_ is not a good word to use with a child."

"Bantha fodder. Just say 'No. He'll obey."

Anakin rolls his eyes as the Jedi pediatrician hands Li-An to Isabel. She begins to dress him.

"Thank you, Doctor."

Anakin looks on the wall at the framed diplomas.

"Did you get your physician's license online?"

The doctor is too amused by Anakin's behavior to take offense. Instead, he smiles over at Isabel as she dresses Li-An. Li-An is interested in being fed. Anakin watches the doctor with a suspicious eye then glances over at his wife. He notices her dress had a slit up the front as she crosses her legs. Anakin places his hand on her knee and keeps a vigilant eye on the doctor.

"Isabel, let's get out of here."

"Hold on a few minutes until I feed him." She grabs the stethoscope from the baby and hands it back to the doctor.

"Mrs. Skywalker, take your time. I have another exam room."

"Thank you, Doctor."

Anakin looks over at the doctor.

"Don't you have other kids to see?"

"Who? Me?"

The doctor makes notes on the data card chart for Li-An. Anakin tries to be discreet and tosses a baby blanket across his wife's lap. Isabel wants to slap him. She snatches the blanket from him. The doctor just now realizes that the family may want a private moment.

"Well, my work is done here. Li-An is doing excellently. So, we'll see the little one in a few more months on his first birthday. How's that?"

Isabel looks up and smiles.

"Thank you, Doctor."

"You're quite welcome, milady."

After a relaxing snack and comforting from his mother, Li-An is ready for the ride home. Anakin gathers his family and leaves this 'dreadful' place. They say 'goodbye' to the nurses at the front desk. Li-An decides he needs to cry again for good measure. He makes a fuss all the way to the speeder. Anakin looks around as he holds the baby carrier. He looks over at his wife.

"We won't get a ticket. Isabel, get in the car."

Anakin installs the baby carrier into the back seat after Isabel argues with him.

"Anakin, why don't I take him in the taxi and you follow behind. The taxi speeder has a child-friendly seat."

"I got the COPD sticker…we're good."

Ten minutes later they walk through the door of their house. Anakin tosses the car key into the dish in the foyer. Li-An is sound asleep. The Dark Lord is fuming.

"A hundred and fifty credits? Your brother is a real hardass! He couldn't tell the officer to let us slide on this one?"

"He's just doing his job, Anakin. Besides, Li-An is his nephew. He was concerned when the officer called. I saw you about to Force-choke that poor traffic officer."

"Who, Barney Fife? _'Gee, Mr. Skywalker, I can't have anarchy on the speedway. I gotta write this up_.'"

Isabel almost laughs as he imitates the officer. Anakin walks into his study to answer messages and look through the mail. He looks at his traffic ticket again and curses under his breath. The mail has to bring better news than this. The new maid has stacked it neatly on his desk. He tosses the boring stuff aside until he comes across a brown envelope. He reads the address label:

_I Skywalker _

_620 Faleen Hyperdrive_

_Coruscant_

Anakin looks around to make sure no one sees him. The return address looks familiar:

_Nigel Silver Stallion_

_Professional Holographer_

He never opens anyone else's mail but after seeing this card fall out of his wife's purse that night, he was concerned…and curious. He gets a bad feeling as he reaches inside the large envelope and pulls out the contents.

Isabel is in the nursery when she hears his scream.:

"Isabel!"

His wife hurries out to find out why her husband is in such a crazed state. She stops frozen as he stands in the middle of the living room holding the contents in full view. Isabel looks into her husband's eyes. All she can say is a hesitant _"Oh."_

"Explain."

_To be continued… ''Pictures, Pictures? What Pictures?''Downhill on Hoth' _

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**


	99. Chapter 99 Pictures, What Pictures?

_Chapter 99_

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Pictures, Pictures? What Pictures?' _

'_Downhill On Hoth'_

'_Sith of de-Feet'_

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The way Anakin holds the magazine is as if it were wet or worse covered with dirt. If fire could come out of his eyes, it would. Isabel could hear the breathing from his nostrils.

"Well?"

"Why are you yelling? What did I do?"

"Your name was on the envelope, of course I'm yelling at you."

She looks at the envelope.

"I don't see where it says '_Anakin Skywalker'_."

"My house, my mail."

"You're wrong, Anakin. It's not right. Besides, you read it wrong. It's '_L. Skywalker' not 'I' Skywalker."_

"…And that makes it better? Whose idea was this? Where is she?"

"She's probably on her way home from class."

"This is all your fault."

"What?"

"Yes. I blame you."

"I had no idea she was going to do this."

"You were with her!"

"So?"

"Guilty!" He points an accusing finger at her. "You're an accomplice and you're her parent. It is your fault."

"Don't point your finger at me."

"Did you see these pictures?"

"I can't help but see them; you're holding the magazine like a dead rabbit."

"A what?"

"Never mind."

"I can't believe she would do this…they're…they're…she's…"

"What's wrong, honey? You're developing a little stutter there." She folds her arms and leans against the data bookshelf with a smirk on her face.

"Don't you make light of this, Isabel. What's your explanation for this?"

"I may not agree with it, Anakin, but she is 19 years old."

"She's still my daughter and she's still living under my roof. Just wait till I get her in here and talk to her, I'm laying down the law!" He bangs his fist on the desk. Isabel rolls her eyes.

"Anakin, don't do or say anything stupid. Don't push her away. You know how impulsive you can be and you have a tendency of sticking your foot in your mouth."

"I would never do that, she's my daughter; I love her."

"Then don't judge her and don't start setting conditions because she just might call your bluff."

"But, 'Bel, look at my little girl! There are parts on her I haven't seen since she was a baby." He is almost in tears but Isabel knows too well his manipulative ways.

"Oh cut it out...and stop holding the magazine up like that!"

Luke arrives home from the Jedi Temple. He looks around. The house is quiet. Threepio is busy in the nursery trying to get the baby to go back to sleep. Li-An works his way around the crib. His cherubic legs are more agile on the crib mattress than on the floor. He has just started crawling and pulling up on the magazine table. Li-An is laughing as the poor droid tries to get his attention. Li-An thinks it's a game and continues to laugh. A long stream of baby drool hangs from his chin. The stream of drool lands on Artoo's dome. The Astromech droid makes a frustrated whistling sound. Threepio is following the baby around the crib. Li-An thinks the droid is chasing him.

"Well, someone is making a miraculous recovery after crying all the way from the doctor's office. You should go to sleep before your mother comes back." Skippy barks happily and rolls over. Threepio looks down at the titanium canine. He is not amused by the pets' antics. "And you stop encouraging him, you Mustafar flea hound."

Meanwhile, back in the living room, Luke calls out, "Mom? Dad? ...I'm home…I hope you're decent, you crazy kids!" He laughs at his own joke. Where is everybody?"

He sees the door opened to his father's study. He walks in as Isabel and Anakin are having their discussion/argument.

"Hey! What's going on?" Suddenly he sees his father holding the magazine. He sees the images.

"Holy!..."

Anakin gives Luke the evil eye. "Luke, do you mind?"

"Oh, sorry, Dad. Is this a good time for me to talk to you guys about the ski trip?"

Anakin looks at his son for several seconds without saying a word.

"What do you think?"

"No?"

"You're getting smarter everyday. Now get out."

"Geez, Dad."

Isabel looks at her husband not approving of the tone he uses with Luke.

"What? Oh, excuse me, Luke…_ 'Please'_…" He rolls his eyes.

Luke leaves. He grabs a piece of fruit from the bowl just outside of the study. As he bites into the sweet pera fruit, Leia walks through the front door. Luke grins. He almost drops the fruit from his mouth because he knows this is where the fun begins. Leia dumps her books and bag on the table in the foyer.

"Hello, I'm home. Oh, hi, Luke. Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Ohh…nothing…except…your ass is grass…literally! Hahahahaha!"

"What? You can be such a dork sometimes. Where is everyone?"

"_Everyone_" is in the study. Why don't you go in? They'd love to see what you're wearing today; especially Dad."

Leia ignores him. With a turn, she holds her nose up in haughty fashion then walks inside her father's study.

Her father stands at his desk. He is still holding up the magazine. There is a wild look in his eyes. They are 'wilder' than usual in Leia's mind. Her mouth drops open. Daddy Dearest continues his intense glare at his daughter. The '_Sithmaster'_ finally speaks.

"Yeah, that's how I looked when I first saw this little 'flipbook. So, you want to pick your bottom lip off the floor so you can give me a convincing explanation before I can decide what appropriate punishment to exact?"

Isabel interrupts as if to warn him.

"Anakin…"

He holds up his hand as if to stop her. She puts her hands on her hips. She is furious with her husband right now.

"Not now, Isabel." He continues to look at his daughter. "Well, 'Missy'?"

"Where did you get that?"

"It was in the good ol' mail pile on my desk."

"What are you doing opening my mail?"

Isabel chimes in to reinforce the question her daughter raises.

"I told him."

"Daddy! That was private!"

"Well, looks like a lot of your_ 'private'_ is _'public'_! What in the devil are you trying to do to me? Look at this! My own daughter! My little girl!" He looks as if he is going to cry. Isabel rubs her forehead. She knows the crocodile tears can't be far behind.

"Daddy, will you please put that down?"

"Aren't you ashamed?"

"No! Since when are you such a prude?"

"I'm a married man! I am your father! I should not have to put up with this. Why should I suffer? You're breaking my heart!"

Isabel rolls her eyes as he performs his Sith Academy Award-winning performance as _'Martyred Sith Father of the Nude.'_

"On, here we go again."

Leia grabs the magazine as her father is 'performing.' Anakin fights for it. Leia repeatedly slaps his hands.

"Let it go, Daddy! Let it go!"

"Oww! Stop that!"

"Drop it!"

The magazine falls to the floor. Her father is seething. Isabel stands quietly by as her husband rubs his sore hands after being assaulted by his teenaged daughter. He is thinking he could file parental abuse charges. Isabel purses her lips to keep from laughing. _'Serves him right.'_

Anakin has had enough of these heartless women for now. Leia continues to chastise him.

"Daddy, you had no right to open my mail."

"I thought it was your mother's…I found that card in her handbag."

Isabel is incensed.

"What are you doing rifling through my purse?"

"It fell out! It _'effing'_ fell out! Oww!"

"Yeah, Daddy! Looks like you have some explaining to do!" She slaps his arm.

"Stop hitting me! Alright, that's enough! Everybody out of my office!"

Leia grabs the envelope off the desk. "Gladly! Stay in your cave of dark solitude."

"There had better not be copies of this magazine circulating the city."

Leia heads out of the study.

"Don't worry, you maniac. There are no 'copies' circulating the city…relax…" She is already out of the office when she continues talking under her breath. "I only ordered two."

"What?"

"Oh, nothing."

"Isabel, what did she say?"

"She says you're paranoid."

As the two women exit the Sith den, Luke relaxes on the sofa eating another piece of fruit. He still has a big grin on his face.

"Are you two done?"

"Yes. Why do you want to know, 'golden boy'?"

"Did you wear him down?"

"Of course we did. Why?"

"This is the best time to get him. Thanks for prepping him for me."

Isabel dismisses this assessment and waves her hand at the door.

"Be careful, Luke. He might have a spark of energy left in him, but I would agree that he is pretty much down for the count."

"Cool."

Luke jumps up from the sofa as Isabel and Leia leave the room. Leia grabs her schoolbooks from the table. The two women are satisfied they have sufficiently worn down the Dark Lord. They have ruined what started out to be a happy day. Luke taps lightly on the door. As he opens the door and pokes his head in, he sees his father. Anakin is standing at the window. He is looking out over the garden his wife planted to soothe his weary mind.

"Dad?"

"Yes, Luke? I hope you're not here to disappoint me too."

"No…actually, I came to talk to you about going to Hoth."

"Oh, that again? You need another holiday?"

"Life as a Jedi apprentice is tough work, Dad. You know that."

His father lets out a sigh.

"Well…Master Halcyon did give you a superior first quarter review. I suppose you can go….but No slacking off when you get back!" Luke is still there. Anakin barely looks at his son as he looks out over the garden again. "What else do you want? I can feel it dripping from your pores."

"Uhm…can I take Mara? She's already got half her money saved up…I thought…"

"And did Master Plo Kloon approve of her taking a holiday at mid-term?"

"It's semester break, gee, Dad. Please…"

"Luke, if you care anything at all for this girl, you'll let her finish her finals and get better grades."

"She doing better."

"Luke, you are not her tutor. You don't have time for that." He looks in his son's eyes. "Fine…under the following conditions, if the registrars' office at the Jedi Academy says her grades are good enough, and she's guaranteed to graduate, she can go. I'll pay for her trip. Don't play me for a fool, Luke. You'll regret it. I don't need any more disappointments today. Are you still planning to go if Master Plo Kloon says 'No'?"

"Well, sure. Mara's fine with it. She'll understand."

"Then it's settled. So…will you be going with those knuckleheads, Kyp and Kyle?"

"Uh…They're ok."

"Enough said."

"Thank, Dad."

"Yeah, yeah…"

"So, is Leia totally busted or what?"

"If you don't want your future on Hoth to slip through your fingers, you'll leave your sister out of the equation."

"Aye-aye, Sir."

Luke salutes then exits his father's study.

Anakin returns to his desk. He sorts through his messages. One message is from Supreme Chancellor Valorum congratulating Anakin on his charismatic 'pep-talk' to the troops. He sees three messages from Luke…he tosses these as completed. There is a stack of ten messages from the Shady Acres Rest Home. He rolls his eyes then releases a heavy sigh. He knows what this is about alright. He'll get to it in due time.

Leia and Isabel are in the nursery. They discuss _'the pictures.'_

"Leia, why didn't you tell me you were going to do this? You left me unprepared to defend you."

"I told you I was thinking of doing it."

"Well, 'thinking' and 'doing' are two entirely different things. Your father thinks I encouraged you."

"Well, he knows now you didn't." She plays 'Peek-A-Boo' with the baby as she chats with Isabel. Isabel is re-folding baby shirts that the maid left in the room. The woman must be blind or an idiot. The sleeves don't match up.

"Your father thinks we betrayed him."

"Oh, that again. He's going to cry and whine about it for the next month until he thinks we're filled with enough guilt to beg for his forgiveness." She talks to the baby. "We don't feel guilty! No we don't! Never will!" Li-An laughs at his big sister.

Isabel nods as she continues to fold the tangled stack of baby clothes.

"Well, he's going to pout through dinner and when we go to bed. I won't get a good nights' sleep. So, need I ask who has copy 2 of your _'drop-down menu'_?"

Across town at the bachelor loft , a certain handsome nerfherder opens his mail.

"Leia, you are one crazy chick…If you get through this without your dad finding out, we just might have a future together."

He flips through _'Lotsa Leia: The Look book' _The gift card attached reads:

'_To my handsome and somewhat scruffy nerfherder'_

_Love, L_

That evening, after a quiet dinner, Anakin turns to his wife in their bed. He gently runs his fingers through her soft hair. She is just getting comfortable for a good nights' sleep.

"'Bel?"

"Yes?" She is not facing him but she can tell that whatever he wants, it's going to take up a good amount of her sleep time. She rolls her eyes. He has plenty of nerve. He hardy spoke to her at the dinner table.

"Are you angry with me?"

She sighs heavily, "Anakin, I'm over it, Ok?"

"Oh…well…that's good…"

Just as Isabel is about to close her eyes again, her husband decides he wants to have a _'conversation.' _

"Bel?...I was thinking…maybe I didn't handle the situation today in the best way. I should have handled it better.."

"Fine. It's over. Don't worry about it."

"Still…" He continues to stroke her hair and kisses her shoulders. She is slowly losing patience. What in 'Wild Space' could he possibly want to talk about that necessitates keeping her awake right now?

"Anakin, I said I forgive you."

He is insulted. "Forgive me?" He quickly remembers this is not the way to get back into her good graces. He thinks to himself. _'Swallow your pride.' _That's it. If she can let go, so could he.

"So, Bel…"

"Anakin, get to the point sometime soon before I kill you; and I have ways, so don't underestimate me."

"Well, were you planning to do the same thing as Leia?…I mean…being that you were carrying that business data card in your purse…anyway, I'm truly sorry I over-reacted…uhm… are you wearing a new fragrance?" He snuggles up close to her. "Because…if you decide you want to do it, I won't be totally against it. I mean…only if you want to…"

Isabel turns quickly to face her husband.

"Are you telling me your daughter can't do this but it's alright for your wife? Are you insane?"

"But it could be a beautiful thing. I mean, we couldn't allow this Nigel person to live of course, but a book would be sort of hot."

"Anakin, I'm ignoring you and I'm going to pretend you never asked me that question."

She turns away and goes to sleep. Anakin continues to kiss her neck and back. He whispers to her.

"Promise me you'll think it over, ok?"

"Good night, Anakin."

"We'll talk tomorrow. I love you."

"It's not going to happen."

"The fragrance you're wearing is intoxicating."

"I heard that line before."

"You know what? I saw a great pair of shoes on display at that fancy boutique you love so much. They would look absolutely stunning on your gorgeous feet."

"The gold sling backs with the Geonosian emeralds?"

The moon light shines in the in the darkened room. Anakin smiles. One thing a Sith knows is his victims' Achilles heel…especially that of his wife. He didn't even need to perform any mind tricks. That would be too vulgar a display of power. A shopping spree works just as effectively. He would save the mind tricks on that dastardly Nigel Silver Stallion. The audacity of this man taking holographs of impressionable 19-year old girls.

_To be continued… 'Baby Steps' 'Downhill on Hoth' _

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**


	100. Chapter 100 Baby Steps

_Chapter 100_

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'_Baby Steps'_

'_Tuesdays with Dantius'_

'_A Sithmas Carol'_

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Anakin finds ways to spend quality time with the baby and be a working parent. He is gradually breaking his promise to return to work fulltime. Isabel is pissed but, according to her husband, she has five pairs of new shoes as 'compensation.'

Li-An, on the other hand has no shoes but he's not one for sitting down. Yoda predicted that the tot would be going places. No one would have suspected it would be so soon. Anakin is more concerned about him talking. He has not heard that magic word yet. Sith-Daddy is becoming concerned. Li-An has not uttered any recognizable words. He has a lot to say but it's all baby-babble. It seems as though little Li-An is more focused on being mobile. While not exactly walking, he has been quite resourceful in getting from place to place. He finds his way into his father's study winding up on the bookshelf. He wanted a holograph. It is next to several other treasured images from the past. The holograph was old. It shows an image of a middle-aged Jedi standing beside a young boy of about 9 years old. The Jedi reception room is directly behind them.

Anakin finds the infant just in time before that busybody wife of his finds out. The two sit at Anakin's desk as Li-An studies the image. It was one the few possessions Anakin had as a child. He managed to keep it safely stored away in a box. Anakin found a loose pillar in the practice room at the Jedi Temple. This is where it stayed. No one knew of this secret hiding place.

During the reconstruction of the Temple, a Jedi artisan monk came across it. He gives it to Master Kenobi. Anakin was heartened to see it again one sunny afternoon on the terrace at a birthday party. His twins had asked Isabel to help them throw a surprise party for their father. The moment that Anakin opens the gift, he felt his life was truly coming together. It was a time if mixed emotions and of bittersweet memories of his mother. He starts to remember all the things the Jedi had taught him. He knew what he wanted for his children.

Anakin was able to convince his wife to let him stay home part of the day as long as he commits to being with Li-An while she enjoys some quality _'Me Time.'_ 'Me Time' for Isabel is a few hours of escape to her boudoir where she can relax on her ivory brocade upholstered chaise reading fashion magazines or yapping to her friends on the telecom link while she is painting her toenails. She feels she deserves it for several reasons:

_She has made her parents proud by doing well in school. She had a great career. She chose to give up said career to marry a former Jedi-turned-Sith Lord, almost being disowned because of it. She suffered through over 18 hours of labor, delivering without an epidural because her former Jedi-turned-Sith Lord husband is an underhanded, controlling (she never uses profanity because she's too much of a lady)#& and she is raising his three spawn. She is having her 'Me Time' because she needed a break... so no one has any right to judge her!_

Today she is taking a luxurious bubble bath. She rests her head against her seashell shaped bath pillow with her eyes covered with a sleeping mask. She is slipping into a peaceful, deep rest when she hears the clapping sound of bare footsteps on the Geonosian terracotta tile floor. She hears breathing. The steps are just as uneven and awkward as the breathing she hears. She wishes she had put in her earplugs. She didn't think she had to bother because this is a 'Sith-free' zone.

The footsteps get closer and occasionally hurried, like a drunken elf accompanied by a drunken ogre. The elf's breath is close to her head. She smells something. It is the sweet smell of the elf's breath. She smiles. Suddenly she hears the voice of the ogre.

"Here she is…say, 'Hello, Mummy. Are you hiding from me?"

There is another sound. It is the light, steady drizzle landing on the terracotta tiles. Without lifting her mask, she addresses the ogre.

"You're going to clean that up, you know that don't you?"

The ogre responds. He is quite indignant

"It's just a little water. Right, Li? Heheheh!"

"Would it have killed you to put a diaper on my child?" The elf smiles as he stands at the side of the tub wearing only a baby t-shirt. His little pink bottom is exposed. He holds on to the porcelain bathtub like a wobbly drunk, and supported by the tall, lanky ogre.

"He'll get one…calm down, woman. We're just taking a little walk." The elf coos. He sees something fascinating and wonderful. The sight of it is intoxicating. He becomes frustrated because his hands cannot reach it. The ogre sees what he wants. "What is it, Li? You like that? It smells nice, doesn't it? They look like fluffy clouds. Want to touch them? Here we go…"

Isabel feels the ogre's two big hobbit-like feet landing inside her beautiful tub. She immediately lifts her mask.

"Nooo! Don't put him in here with me! Anakin, no!"

The ogre and the elf ignore her violent protests. The elf splashes wildly babbling in some foreign tongue. The ogre is perched on the edge of the tub like a horrible gargoyle repeatedly dipping the tiny elf into her beautifully scented bath water. The gargoyle remains sitting, watching as the beautiful woman protests. This is uninvited company.

"When do I get a moment to myself?"

"You had your moment. What about our moment?"

"You're polluting my bath."

"So, you want us to leave?"

"Please."

"Come on, Li. Mommy doesn't love us anymore." He leaves the tub and smells the chubby elf. "Uhm…you smell nice. Let's give you another dip for good measure. Hahaha!"

The beautiful woman points to the wet floor.

"Come back and wipe up this puddle!"

The ogre ignores her pleas as he exits the bathing area. He leaves a trail of scented watery footprints. The water drips from his soaked pants legs. He raises his arm.

"Talk to the hand."

With this, the ultimate insult, the ogre leaves the bathing area taking the plump little elf with him. The bathing beauty is not in the least hospitable towards them.

Anakin has had his fill with everyone expressing various levels of disappointment in the past weeks. This brings to mind a grievance letter he recently receives. There is no more procrastinating. He finally makes a trip across town to visit 'The Creature' at the Shady Acres Rest Home.

Palpatine is glad to see Anakin. Since his involuntary 'retirement' as Imperial Emperor of the Galactic Empire, his list of social contacts has dwindled to a few pathetic former members of his former regime, most of whom are also residents of the facility. Seeing the tall, handsome figure walking through the door, helps buoy the old man's spirits.

"Ani, my boy, it's been awhile. Why haven't you stopped by to see me?"

"Busy."

"Too busy to come see your old man?"

"Yep."

"…and where are the twins? The baby? I haven't seen little Li-An in awhile. He's going on a year old in a few months. I'm going to miss all of the important milestones."

"They're all busy."

"An infant is not busy. Don't be silly."

"He's got 'Mommy & Me' class…he's a busy baby."

"What about all the other times?"

"He goes to 'Daddy & Me' class."

'The next thing you'll tell me is he's got a class with the droids."

"No, that's silly. He's got 'Siblings & Me' then his 'Youngling Orientation' at the Jedi Temple, and then 'Droids & Tots."

"I don't believe you. It's _'her'_ isn't it? She's still upset?"

"Of course she is; and don't hit on my mother-in-law. It's embarrassing. You should be ashamed."

"She's a delightful woman."

"Of course she is. She's too good for you. Besides, she's a married woman. Her husband can kick your old ass. So, what's this fuss you're making at the home?"

"I have legitimate grievances, Anakin. When am I going to be moved to the retirement village?"

"Don't rush me. These things take time. What else are you whining about?"

"The changes you've been makings at headquarters."

"Oh, I forgot, they let you read the news here." Anakin chuckles softly. He knew his actions involving the Imperial shake-up would distress the old fool.

"Of course I read the news. It's the only way of finding out anything these days. I am sorely disappointed in you, son."

"Get in line."

"How could you do it?"

"Do what?"

"You know_ 'what.'_ The Super Star Destroyer Casino? Anakin, I had that ship built for you when you joined me nineteen years ago. You ruined the reputation of a good ship. Look at this! All of my efforts gone down the tubes!" He holds up old an issue of 'The_ Coruscant Times.'_

"It was the best decision I ever made. That ship symbolized death and destruction. I turned it around."

"You turned it into a moving casino and pub! I saw the promos on the plasma in the solarium. It's garish!"

"Cool! That's what I was going for; it keeps the gamblers onboard! You like the new carpeting in the pit?"

"You've installed slot machines! And the insane names…'Kessel Run Millions,' 'Ride the Space Slug,'" He just does not understand Anakin right now. "This is distressing. Anakin, how could you?"

"Catchy names, eh? If you behave yourself I might install a few machines in the residents' lounge here at the home."

"That is not funny, Anakin. I bet you that pompous, smug Valorum is beaming."

"No…he has too much class for that. So, what's the other nonsense you're crying about to the management? I got a note from the staff doctor informing me that you've been freaking out lately."

The old man grabs Anakin by the arm. He pulls the younger Sith close as his eyes dart wildly around the room as if they are being watched. He has the look of desperation on his face.

"I see dead people."

Anakin stares blankly at the pathetic old Sith Master for a moment. A sly grin forms across his face. He looks away for a moment because he knows he is about to laugh at the old goat. He looks at the old man again.

"Dead people? Now I know you've lost it."

"No…really…he's haunting me, Anakin."

"Who?"

"What's his name?" He thinks back for a moment then snaps his fingers. "He was that annoying person who tried to arrest me all those years ago. You remember. He busted past my security with his _posse_ from the Jedi Temple…uhm…Shaft! ... Nooo, that wasn't it…what's that man's name? Mr. Clean…Rufus… Clean…Win-Windu, Mace Windu! That's it! He's after me, Anakin. You have to help me, son. You know how 'those people are."

"What _'people' _would those be?"

"_Dead 'People."_

Anakin covers his mouth to keep from giggling. He pretends to cough.

"Ahem…uhm…so what does your doctor day?"

"He thinks it's my diet. I haven't been sleeping well."

"Okay...I'm listening."

"I think he's going to kill me, Anakin."

"Your doctor?"

"No! No!" He waves his hand, agitated then looks around as if he is being watched. He whispers in Anakin's ear. "The _colored _Jedi with the purple lightsaber. Mace Windu."

"Why are you whispering?"

"He might hear us. You should be concerned too!"

"Why?"

"You cut off his hand."

"You're the one who hit him with dark lightning and hurled him from your office window. I made my peace with him."

"You have? When?"

"Almost two years now. He's been at my wedding, the baptism. I see him off and on. I can't believe you haven't seen him all those times.

"

Palpatine waves his hand dismissing what Anakin has said

"I didn't pay attention."

Anakin knows the old man is lying.

"So, what's your problem?"

"I think he wants revenge."

"Well, you have it coming. Can you blame him?"

"Is that all you can say?"

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"Help me. I'm a defenseless old man."

"Bullsith!" Anakin is curious, so he indulges the old man. "Were words exchanged during the 'visit'?"

Palpatine hedges as he attempts to explain without telling the whole truth.

"Well…I kind of got a bit cocky…forgetting I no longer have any power…" He averts his eyes. "I may have said something he didn't like…" He flicks a piece of lint from the sleeve of his silk pajamas.

"Like what? Out with it, old man!"

"It's something I said to Yoda years ago, now the little…he won't let it go…some Jedi are so sensitive."

"Don't tell me you…"

"Well, I did use the word _'friend'_ in the sentence."

Anakin wags an accusatory finger at Palpatine. "See? That's why you're not getting that retirement cottage."

"Anakin, please! It just slipped out!"

"You're just an old _'eff-up' _aren't you?"

"Tell him I said I'm sorry."

"I'm not telling him squat! Loose Siths sink retirement condos."

"That's not funny, Anakin. Why is this happening to me? Woooohooohooo."

Anakin is shocked and partly amused by this wailing coming from a man who has been so heartless in the past and who has caused so much misery and pain. He folds his arms and watches. Suddenly he hears a voice.

'_Anakin, you are one hard ass!' _The voice is more amused than accusatory.

"Oh, please, don't tell me you feel sorry for this mess."

'_You're not going to deny the old goat his retirement cottage are you?'_

"Don't feel sorry for him, Master."

'_Oh, I don't feel that sorry for him. I'm still going to mess with his ass every chance I get; but I hate to kick an old Sith when he's down. Where's the challenge? You took all the fun out of it when you let the Jedi monks take away his powers and he was brought to this pitiful old folks' home.'_

"This was Master Yoda's idea. We were discussing it for months. So, I hear you two had a 'chat.'"

'_Oh, yeah…I was about to kick his wrinkled old butt; calling me his 'old black friend.' Do you believe the nerve of him?' _He looks over at the old man crying a flood of crocodile tears._ 'Oh, come on! He's got to stop that bawling. He sounds worse than an old Tatooine peasant woman.'_

"It is pathetic isn't it?"

Palpatine stops sobbing long enough to hear Anakin speaking.

"Is he here? He is, isn't he?"

"Yep."

"What is he going to do to me?"

"He's going to throw you down a flight of stairs." Anakin lifts his feet and rests his boots on a lamp table.

"Anakin, please! Don't let him do this."

Another voice chimes in.

'_Wait…I would like to see Mace throw him down a flight of stairs.'_

Anakin giggles. The ghosts watch as Palpatine feels around for their presence. Anakin slouches in the armchair. He folds his hands and rests them on his chest. He plays along as the ghosts have a bit of fun at Palpatine's expense.

"Now Qui-Gon, you don't mean that."

'_Hell, I do. Is he going to get that old fogy condo?'_

"He keeps telling me he's going to do better but I don't see it."

'_Hey, he's taking baby steps.' _Qui-Gon laughs at his own joke.

"He's slower than a Felucia leaf snail. Baby steps my ass."

'_Look at him…feeling around for us like a Tatooine mole rat.'_

Suddenly Master Windu and Qui-Gon Jinn appear before the old Sith.

'_Boo!'_

Palpatine coils into a shaking ball of nerves as the tall imposing specter of Mace Windu appears before him. The old man shields his face.

'_I am the Ghost of Jedi Past.'_

"Phantom Menace past?"

'_No, fool! Revenge of the Sith Past.'_

"Waz up, bro?" Palpatine laughs nervously. "Heheheh…"

'_Shut up! No one here talks like that.'_

"Ordell? I mean…Mace…Are you gong to kill me?"

'_Yep!' _Mace sits on the windowsill and taps on the glass as if testing it. He looks across the room. _'Anakin, I'm beginning to agree with you for not giving him the retirement condo.'_

Qui-Gon is laughing so hard, tears come to his eyes.

'_Well, what are you waiting for? Throw him down the steps. Anakin, Can I throw him down the steps?'_

The clacking sound of a gimer stick can be heard from the hall.

"Dibs I get to toss Sith monster down the steps."

Aayla Secura appears. She stares at the old man from the foot of the bed

'_I'll help you.'_

Qui-Gon is growing impatient._ 'I'm not leaving until someone gets thrown down some steps!'_

Anakin interrupts.

"Hey! No one is throwing anyone down any steps! That's final!"

"Thank you, Anakin; you're such a good boy, son."

"Shut up! I told you not to call me that."

Mace laughs.

'_Oh, this is so funny.'_

Palpatine looks back smugly.

"I wouldn't laugh if I were you, Lando."

There is silence in the room. Qui-Gon makes a face as if he can feel a fight brewing. There is a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

'_Nooooo.'_

Mace has had enough.

'_Ok, that's it. It's on now, let me at him…'_

Anakin intervenes.

"I'll deal with it. Everyone out. Go! Please."

All of the ghosts leave. The sumo-sized orderlies sit at the nurses' station watching the monitor.

"He's talking to himself again."

"Is he talking to the light?"

"Yeah, and the window and the bed."

"Wacky nutcake."

Back in the room, Anakin has given up on him for the day.

'Thank you, Anakin. You've saved me. Heavens knows what he would have done to me. I'm a fragile man."

"Don't thank me, I wasn't saving you. Well, I'm done with you for today."

"Anakin, no, please, don't leave me."

"I have to go now. People are waiting for me. Goodbye."

"Anakin, don't do this! Come back! Please…why meeeee? Spirit!" Palpatine cries out in a broken voice. "Remove me from this place."

'_I told you these were shadows of the things that have been,' said the Ghost. 'That they are what they are, do not blame me!'_

"Remove me!" The sith cries, "I cannot bear it!"

He turns upon the Ghost, and seeing that it looked upon him with a face, in which in some strange way there were fragments of all the faces it had shown him, wrestled with it.

"Leave me! Take me back to my former life. Haunt me no longer!"

'_You had a chance to change. Three ghosts visited you. You'll never learn.'_

He was conscious of being exhausted, and overcome by an irresistible drowsiness; and, further, of being in his own bedroom. He had barely time to reel to bed, before he sank into a heavy sleep.

Palpatine is alone in the room sobbing. The dream was so vivid. Suddenly he hears the clicking of a gimer stick. The clicking stops. He looks up from his pillow. Master Yoda is sitting on the windowsill of the room. The old man has to focus his eyes. He knows not what is real and what is a dream.

"Hello? Who's there?"

"Me, you old fool! Turn around! Take a walk we must."

"Yoda, you stayed. I can't believe everyone has abandoned me. Where are we going?"

"Come…come…follow me, follow me…"

"Where are we going? I have to put on my robe."

"On a journey. Take heed, rise, and walk with me."

"Through the window?"

"Afraid are you?"

"Well... I am a mortal, and liable to fall."

"Follow me, follow me."

"Stop walking so fast. Don't rush me."

"Hurry, hurry."

"Are we going to be gone long? 'Sith Wheel of Fortune' is coming on. Are you here to show me what my life could be like? I already know…it sucks. Get on with it. I want to get a good seat in the solarium before the show starts then I want to watch my soaps. I hope you know where you're going, my little green friend."

Suddenly Yoda stops for a moment. He turns his head slightly and giggles. They finally come to a door.

"Where are we going? Will I find peace and salvation through this door?"

"A long trip you will take….my _Sith _friend!"

…And with quick agility, the diminutive Jedi Master twirls his gimer stick. The old Sith is caught off guard. The stick nicks him at the shins and she goes sailing down a flight of stairs. He lands at the bottom of the stairs tangles in his brocade robe. He manages to reach the Sith-A-Medic Alert around his neck. He makes a distress call.

"Help…help."

The orderlies at the nurses' station hear a faint cry on the control board. Tomo turns to Tiny, the equally huge attendant.

"Dude, did you hear something?"

Tiny takes a long slurp from his Super-Sized Ho-Hoth Frosty. The noise is so loud that it drowns out any sound from the monitors.

"Nope! Didn't hear a thing."

"Ok."

There is a sound of a gimer stick can be heard along the freshly buffed floors. The two men look over the counter and see the small Jedi master heading for the exit doors. Yoda mutters to himself.

"Little green fried indeed."

South Coruscant -

Anakin returns home. He sees Luke in the parking bay about to load his ski gear onto his ship.

"Hey, Dad."

"Hi. Almost done?"

"Yeah. Kyp and Kyle are coming over with Mara and her friends tomorrow."

"Ok…Luke, I was thinking…why don't you put that stuff on my ship?"

"Why?"

"You can pilot my ship instead of taking yours."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. There's more space."

"Actually…I'll have enough space on my ship."

"Here, catch!" Anakin tosses a package to Luke who catches it.

"What's this?"

Anakin heads inside the house.

"A new snowsuit and booties for your little brother. I'll be down to pack our other stuff in the morning."

"What? What do you mean 'Our other stuff?' Dad? Dad?"

The door closes.

Morning -

Palpatine wakes up in his bed. He is warm and comfortable under the soft duvet. The birds are chirping outside his window. He looks around the room. Everything is in order. The room is spotless. The chairs aren't turned around the way he remembers them the day before. He breathes a sigh of relief. He is embarrassed for being so silly. It was all a dream.

He hops out of bed and heads for the refresher. He looks in the mirror. There is a large bandage on his forehead covering a bruise. He sees something else…something much worse. He stumbles away from the mirror. and stands with his back against the tile wall. He has company.

'_Chancellor, you're under arrest!'_

Palpatine faints. The Force Ghost of Master Windu stands over the old man then shakes his head laughing to himself. Suddenly there is another voice.

'_Is he dead?'_

'_No he's not dead! And where have you been all this time?' You're a day late! Aayla had to stand in for you…Again! Where the hell were you?'_

The Force Ghost of Ki-Adi Mundi stumbles over an excuse.

'_You said I would be Ghost number three at Sandy Eights.'_

'_No! I said you're Ghost number three at 'Shady Acres Rest Home!' 'Sandy Eights is a Miniature golf course! What's wrong with you? You have a bigger brain than all of us, and you use it the least! _

'_Well, I said I'm sorry! I got confused.'_

'_Get a watch!'_

_To be continued… 'Happy Birthday' 'Say My Name'_


	101. Chapter 101 Hoth for the Holidays

_Chapter 101_

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Year of Firsts'_

'_Hoth for the Holidays'_

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

After raising his first two children, Anakin believes he has mastered the skills of a seasoned parent. Leia and Luke challenged him as never before. At times, it frightened him to be a parent. He wanted to get it right. He promised the memory of his long-gone first wife that he would bring up the twins to be model citizens and help others. His daughter decided to 'stretch' her role as 'model.' In Anakin's opinion, Leia was modeling more than he would have liked. This was not his fault.

Now, with the third Skywalker sibling, Anakin thought he could improve. He has the skills, he could make this child better, more obedient, more loyal. He thinks he can accomplish this as long as he can keep the Youngling out of the clutches of those spoiled twins who try to drain the sith of his finances.

Every time he looks up from his desk, he sees them. He sees them at the breakfast table. He can't even take a pee in peace without them Force-calling him asking for a 'handout.' Always needing a vacation. What makes their lives so tough that necessitates a ski holiday? No one _"Needs"_ a ski holiday. A ski holiday is nice but you don't _"Need" _to go on one. You never hear a group of Tusken Raiders exclaiming, _"This weekly torture of innocent settlers is exhausting. I would pawn my favorite gaffi stick for a good pair of S2 skis and a weekend chalet on Mt. Wampa at Echo Base Luxury Ski Resort. I need to get out of these sandy rags and slip into a super expensive ski outfit."_

It just doesn't happen.

It seems that even after they get what they want, they still manage to take time out of their moments of 'Fun & Frolic' to disturb him. Now _he_ needs a holiday. Therefore, just to make things easier on everyone concerned (since they want to be attached to him so much) he'll join them.

Isabel is excited about going away but she had no idea they were going to piggyback on Luke's ski trip to Hoth. She tells Anakin it was wrong to do this. This is irrelevant to Anakin. He wanted to see what Luke and his shiftless clown friends do on vacation. He has an idea. He believes their time is divvied up between hitting the slopes and hitting on ski bunnies.

Luke is not at all happy to discover that his father is joining him on his trip but Anakin is thoughtful enough to let Luke and his pals have their own cabin, besides, Isabel scolds him about it.

Anakin decides he wants to bring along guests to the chalet he is renting. He picks up Obi-Wan enroute to Hoth. Obi-Wan accepts the invitation and brings along his latest girlfriend.

Anakin and Obi-Wan hit the slopes shortly after they arrive. Isabel decides to stay inside on the first day. She prefers to relax by the fireplace with the baby.

Li-An is more entertaining these days. He enjoys playing 'Peek-A-Boo', 'Sith in the Corner' and 'Hide and Sith.' Anakin crawls around his study with Li-An in hot pursuit. He pretends to let the baby catch him. Luke and Leia have been spending a lot of time with him too. The twins spend hours behind closed doors with their infant brother. Anakin is pleased that they have devoted so much of their free time with the baby even though they both have active social lives.

Now Luke is on his ski holiday with his worthless friends and Leia is back at home. She has been studying for her exams for the past two weeks. Anakin is pleased that his daughter is focused on her academic work and not wasting time with that wisecracking pirate boyfriend of hers. He is wondering what Luke is up to with his no-account almost flunk-out-of school friends. Isabel warns Anakin not to give Luke and his friends any trouble during their school break holiday on the slopes. She threatens him. Anakin knows he had better behave himself or there will be no romantic evenings by the fire in the beautiful room of their luxurious Hoth chalet.

Anakin busies himself by dressing the baby in the new snowsuit he bought for him. Isabel asks why he is dressing the baby after they have just arrived at the chalet.

"We're going out."

"Where?"

"For a ride. Calm down. We'll be back in a while."

"It's cold out there."

Anakin looks at her. This was too easy. He grins and glances out the window. Without blinking, he looks into her eyes. "Yep…it sure looks like it."

"Don't joke, Anakin, it's not funny."

"I'm not joking. You worry too much. We'll be fine. Alright?" He kisses her gently on forehead. With a sly grin, he winks at her. "There's more where that came from. I'll meet you upstairs later."

Obi-Wan waits at the door with his girlfriend Honey Bea. He looks back at Isabel with a stupid smile on his face. Isabel folds her arms and walks over to him. She taps her foot impatiently waiting to catch the aging Jedi in a lie.

"So, _'Norton,'_ what's _'Ralph' _scheming to do now?"

"He's just coming outside to enjoy the day. It's a lovely day for a walk."

"Is that where you're really going? You're not lying to me, are you?"

"Isabel, I swear to you, on the lives of my three godchildren, I would never lie to you."

"Ok, fine. Go have your little walk."

Anakin walks to the door with the baby in his arms and the baby harness slung over his shoulder. He kisses his wife again.

"Bel, you're the greatest. Li, say 'goodbye' to your mommy. Isabel, see you in awhile."

"Fine, go."

Once outside and out of hearing range, Anakin fumes. He mutters to himself as Obi-wan walks along side him.

"One of these days, Isabel, one of these days... bang... zoom."

"Real smooth back there, Anakin. Do you think it's a good idea to deceive your wife?"

"Deceive is such an ugly word, Master. I like to think of what I did as a way to keep her calm. She gets upset at the littlest things. She'll be fine. She's got company now that Honey felt bad for her. She won't be happy until she's ruined everyone's fun. Now let's get to the slopes before all those teenagers populate the trails."

The two men board a snow taxi to get to the ski lifts. Obi-Wan continues to chide Anakin about being untruthful to his wife as they take the ride on the ski lift. It is pointless. Anakin is in another world right now. In five minutes, they are at the top of the mountain.

The air at the top of the mountain feels wonderful. His head is clear. There is a peaceful smile on his face as he breathes in the cold Hoth air. Anakin squeezes his gloved hands around the titanium ski poles then bends his knees as he leans forward. Before making the descent along the snow-covered trail, he looks down through his goggles.

"Are you ready for some fun? Here we go."

Li-An smiles and tilts his head up to look at his father. His four front teeth show as he coos and grins. The warmth of the new snowsuit hood frames his cherubic face. Anakin's skis are perfectly waxed. He flies down the mountain with lightning speed. Obi-Wan is now far behind. He is still a healthy and agile man as well as a superb skier; but Obi-Wan is also a sensible Jedi. Just a bit cautious now, he does not fly down the trail as he normally would have he been twenty years younger.

One thing he isn't as cautious about is his selection of lady-friends. Obi-Wan's latest flame decided to remain at the chalet to keep Isabel company. Isabel is not averse to having company but she was hoping to spend this time with her husband. Honey is nice enough. Isabel is fascinated to hear how she met the distinguished older man.

Honey recalls how she met the older Jedi. Her speeder had malfunctioned while enroute to a private party. It was fortuitous that the Jedi happened by in her moment of need. She was fine with his affinity for women in her profession. Being Jedi years ago did not afford him the luxury of courting someone of reputable means. There was no time, there was a war, and relationships were forbidden. Of course, there were flings with a few Jedi women but neither sought a commitment to an 'everlasting friendship. He agreed that the Jedi code forbade relationships and attachments for a reason. It would not be fair. He couldn't bring himself to put anyone through the anguish. Padmé went through it with Anakin. Isabel was spared those horrible times during the Clone wars and the overthrow of the Republic by the Empire. She still had a challenge in dealing with Anakin but she knew what to expect…for the most part.

Obi-Was loved a beautiful woman from time to time but he was used to the freedom to move on too. A good woman and a bottle of single malt Caamas was all that he craved.

The drinking was not a problem until that fateful day on Mustafar. He felt his young apprentice slipping through his fingers. He thought he had failed the boy. That night on the lava bank gave him nightmares for months. He managed to hold it together to monitor Luke's development. This is one of the real reasons Uncle Owen chased him off the farm. He didn't want the Jedi around the young child. Obi-Wan had to sober up fast if he was to oversee Luke's upbringing. He was still riddled with guilt over leaving Anakin in that awful place. Yoda and Qui-Gon assured him there was nothing he could have done to bring Anakin back from the bowels of hell. The dark side had seduced his young apprentice.

After hiding out on Tatooine, he came to frequent the cantinas and pubs in Mos Eisley. He had a captive audience late at night when the place would empty out of the pilots who had cargo to haul. A few pilots would hang around waiting for their next assignments. They would buy the fugitive Jedi Master drinks and listen to his adventures on Kamino and Geonosis. Obi-Wan was getting used to this 'royal' treatment by this band of men with questionable backgrounds. An occasional visit to the local brothels didn't hurt either. The women were kind and felt compassion for the Jedi. It got to a point where they didn't asked to be paid. They just enjoyed his company. Besides, the Jedi Master never had much money on him to bother with 'bachelor entertainment.'

The piece of 'real estate' on Tatooine was the only tangible thing of value he had. No one wanted to live so far out over the Dune Sea. This is where Obi-Wan made his home. When he found a hidden well, this generated income and he started a little business for himself. Fresh water was a commodity on Tatooine and he was making a steady income with it but not enough to raise suspicion in the other regions. He was not a greedy man. He acquired enough credits to live comfortably. The few credits and the house were more than what he had hoped for…even though Anakin thought he could do better. He still thinks that hovel on Tatooine is real dive. He thought so 14 years ago when he first saw it and he still thinks so today.

Honey enjoys chatting with Isabel. She laughs at the way Isabel blasts Anakin about his antics. She knows this couple is truly in-love. She can tell Isabel truly adore the man who tests her patience everyday when he does things she dislikes. Honey also shares some of her stories about Obi-Wan. She tells about how he got her to read more. She confides in Isabel that she is even contemplating going to Coruscant Community College. She figures, if he could get her to read novels such as _'Bridge On the River of Light' _or watch thought-provoking films like _'Sith-Spotting'_ and _'A Passage to Indellian System.'_ Most of all she enjoys relaxing on the sofa as he tells her tales of _'The Big Fish'_ About a man married to two women on two different star systems. Obi-Wan is full of fascinating information.

The two women continue to chat about lots of things from beauty tips to the twins and the new baby. They mostly enjoy discussing why men do and say the dumbest things and why they still love the men in their lives. They have this discussion over freshly brewed cups of Bimmisari tea. This is the first lengthy conversation Isabel has ever had with one of Obi-Wan's lady friends.

During this time, Luke is on the slopes too. He has a date with the redheaded wild girl of his dreams. He meets her on another trail called 'Smugglers' Run.' It is not far from where the snowboarders are. He is glad that Isabel made it clear to Anakin that he is not to bother the teens while they are enjoying their holiday. Anakin agrees in principle but she never said anything about not bothering the kids while they are heading back to their lodge.

Anakin isn't thinking about that now. He has plenty of time to 'spy.' Right now, he was flying down the mountain with his still innocent and easily amused younger son. When they take the last jump downhill, Li-An laughs. Anakin arrives at the end of the trail at the foot of the mountain.

He slides his skis into the fresh powder. It sprays around his skis in white sparkling puffs. He comes to a stop. Anakin looks down at Li-An. The baby coos and laughs.

"Did you like that, Li? Cool run, eh? Yeah, your mother doesn't know how to have fun. She used to know how to have a good time. Now she's all serious, and riding my ass everyday. She's holding us back, Li. We've got to save her before she turns into one of those stodgy women at your grandmother's bridge club."

Obi-Wan is coming in close behind them on the trail.

"Well, another happy ski run. How's our little one fairing?"

"He's doing quite well, Master. He loves it. He wants to go again. Look at him, Master. He's happy to be one of the few babies to go on a ski trip."

"Do you think it is wise, Anakin? Isabel isn't going to be happy about this."

"Isabel isn't happy unless she's nagging me every five minutes."

"She worries about you, Anakin."

"She's not worried. She's on a power trip."

"Isabel is not on a power trip. Sometimes you fall off the wagon and you make bad decisions. She's only trying to keep her family intact."

"And I'm just trying to keep my balls intact."

"You need an attitude adjustment."

"She is cute when she complains about me; trying to get the upper hand."

"And thank heavens for her because you'd be sitting alone in Dex's Diner every night eating the blue plate special. It's a good thing she rescued you."

They remove their skis. Li-An is still attached to the baby harness on his fathers' chest. He wiggles his little legs.

"I think her problem is that she isn't busy enough."

"She takes care of you…that's a job in itself."

"I have very few needs, Obi-Wan. All I want are my basic needs met."

"Oh, I bet you have a laundry list for her."

"What laundry list? Speaking of that, we have a maid who can barely speak the language. She puts the wrong mail on my desk everyday."

"That's not exactly what I meant, but since you brought it up, why did you open your daughters' mail when you knew it didn't belong to you? And why do you have to give Isabel a hard time?"

"All I want are my shirts cleaned, a good meal on the table when I come home, and sex. Besides, I thought the mail was for Isabel."

Obi-Wan rubs his forehead. He starts to explain to Anakin that two wrongs don't make it right to snoop but then he gives up. The older man is exasperated. Perhaps a good toss down a Mustafar Lava bank will set him straight. Then again, maybe not. The men park their skis and go to the outdoor café for a hot drink. They have hot chocolate. Obi-Wan takes a sip from his cup.

"Uhm, this stuff isn't half bad."

"You've had cocoa before, Master."

"Not straight up. I usually doctor it up with Savareen Brandy. This is some good _'sith.' _Wow, who knew?"

Back on the mountain, Luke and 'Dare Devil Barbie' take on the slopes.

"Hey, Blondie."

"Hey, Mount Red."

"I'll race you down this mountain."

"You're in for an ass-whipping."

"I can take you."

"Don't be so sure of yourself."

"I'm your guest. I'm supposed to win."

"I'm still going to beat you."

"I doubt it, Blondie."

"You'll just have to ski your best. I'm not going to let you win."

"Luke, I thought you were a gentleman. Gentlemen always let the ladies win."

"You're not a lady."

"Come on. Let me win." Mara whines and pleads.

"I suppose…why not? Let's go."

They speed down the hill. Mara is flying down the mountain. Luke trails behind but just slightly. As they head for the last jump, Mara turns and flashes a smile at her impending victory over the young Jedi Knight. She doesn't see him. She looks around to her left but still doesn't see him. As she reaches the bottom, she sees someone at there waiting for her. Luke casually leans on his ski poles and waits for her to finish.

"Glad you could make it. What happened to all that smack-talk, _Wild Red_?"

"You were supposed to let me win."

"No I wasn't. I never promised to let you win."

"I thought you were my friend."

"In theory, yes."

"Fine, be a jerk about it. So, are you buying me lunch?"

"Yes, I'll buy you lunch. You sure do eat a lot. I think you burn all the calories tormenting people."

"I can't help having good genes."

"Looks like you inherited your mother's genes for fashion too."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

"Are you making fun of the way I dress?"

"Uhmmm…"

"Well?"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. let's go."

"I'll forgive you for insulting me if you buy me a Hoth Hot Sundae for dessert."

"Sure."

"You little jerk."

She shoves him then grabs onto him to release her bindings from her ski boots. Luke takes the skis from her as they head to the café lodge. He playfully kicks her into the snow then helps her up again.

"That's what you get for being a smart mouth."

"I still get to eat, right?"

"Sure. It's the least I could do."

They join Calista, Valin and their friends for lunch. Valin is happy to see Callista again. His father has been on him to take his apprenticeship seriously. He is a Jedi knight now. Master Halcyon is in no mood for mediocre reports from the Jedi Council about Valin's performance. He does something not many fathers do anymore. He decides to force his son to lead a modest life as a traditional Jedi. _"That's 'Old School' to you,"_ He says to his son after one of those long father and son discussions after dinner. Valin was a bit humiliated and angered by his father's actions but he knew it was for his own good. The young man was more embarrassed when his father tried to use the lingo of today's' youth. It makes him cringe. The only reason Valin is on Hoth now is that he couldn't get his deposit back after his father told him he couldn't go. It surely put a kink in his social life. Seeing Callista made him forget all of this. Valin manages a sweet smile for her. His wallet was almost empty. He didn't have much else to offer her.

"Seems like old times."

Callista laughs. "It does. Summer break was months ago but it still seems like yesterday."

"I'm sorry about not being able to get together with you lately but my dad cut off my finances."

"It doesn't matter. I'm just glad we're together."

"Yeah, you have a point."

While one couple is reuniting after a long separation, another is enjoying their own reunion.

Luke and Mara head over to the Mt. Fisto Café for hot cocoa and sweet Corellian dipping cakes. She changes her mind about the Hoth Hot Sundae after studying the menu for 15 minutes. Mara remarks that the waitress isn't as fun or as patient as Jonni Faytonni is. Her name is Ursula Moore, younger sister to Sly Moore. She is working her way through school since her Imperial scholarship was discontinued. Sly agreed to help her younger sibling through school. She was not exactly what one would consider a welcoming of hostess. Mara was actually afraid of her. She thought better than to try any of her menu antics with the pasty-skinned waitress. Luke thought the waitress would get better tips if she would crack a smile every once in awhile or change that voice of dread. After Luke and Mara leave the café, Mara imitates her. Luke is laughing hysterically as Mara gets the monotone voice down perfectly as well as the near-animatronic body movements.

"Good afternoon. Welcome to the Mt. Fisto Café on lovely Hoth. My Name is Ursula. (She points to her name badge) We have a wide array of food and beverages for your enjoyment. (Opens her arms to demonstrate the size of the menu .Would you like for me to read the specials of the day?"

Mara walks along the snowplowed streets locking arms with Luke as she imitates Ursula. Luke is coughing he is laughing so hard. Mara continues her 'performance.'

"Can I get you a beverage while you peruse the menu of delectable Hoth specialties?" Mara starts performing a robot dance. Luke bends over laughing.

"Mara, stop! You're horrible."

"It's funny as hell."

"Why? Have you been there?"

Mara gets back into character.

"No, I have not, but my sister was in a living hell for years as Palpatine's love slave. Imagine massaging that wrinkly old buzzard. Ewww…do not judge me, Luke Skywalker."

"Mara…oh, god, stop! It's too funny. Threepio is more human than she is!"

"Young, Skywalker, I am fully functional. I can go days without a battery change. Oh! Malfunction. Danger…Danger…system needs recharging…beep…beep…beep."

"You sound like a smugglers' cargo ship backing up."

"Beep…beep…Do not be alarmed by my pasty blue skin or my bald head. I am from France."

"Mara…Mara…Mara! Enoughway ithway ethay ueblay ickchay impersonationway."

"Beep…beep…beep."

"Mara…cut it out!"

Mara stops imitating the woman.

"Oh please…relax. It's not as if she's standing…she's standing behind me isn't she?"

"Yep."

Mara turns. All she can muster is an awkward high-pitched 'hello'

Ursula is finishing her shift. She is walking along the path behind them. She is wearing a big puffy white down coat with a matching hood. Her blue face pokes out. Mara forces a smile the woman speaks. Mara id finally at a lost for words.

"It's alright. I get that a lot."

Suddenly Luke and Mara feel crumby for laughing at her. As she passes them, Mara punches Luke in the arm.

"You could have warned me, Luke."

"I tried, bigmouth."

"She must think we're awful."

"We? We? You're the one with the nightclub routine. I was just standing here."

"Let's get to the chalet. It's getting cloudy and my dad invited all of us to the chalet for drinks and stuff."

"Then, by all means, let's hurry."

A dark cloud forms over the Hoth landscape. A storm is brewing. Everyone notices. Anakin feels it too but he doesn't mind. The sun pokes through the clouds again. Li-An is enjoying his third downhill run. He is squealing and laughing gleefully. Anakin is having one of the best days of his life.

Later that afternoon, Anakin invites the teens over for a family gathering. Luke is thinking his father has some dastardly scheme up his sleeve to torment his friends but this doesn't happen. As everyone mills about the large living quarters sipping freshly brewed hot chocolate drinks, another dark cloud blankets the mountain chalet. Luke and Mara exchange knowing glances. A ship is landing.

In an ominous but tongue-in cheek way, they speak in hushed voices.

"They're He-re."

Kyp is holding a camera. He looks over at Luke.

"So, Luke, what's the reason I'm taking this holograph?"

"She's likes being the centerfold of attention."

"The what?"

"Oh, nothing."

A few minutes later, there is chatter outside the front door. It sounds like an argument. The two voices can be heard distinctly now.

"Just leave it!"

"We'll bring it inside. They won't mind."

"Why don't you just leave it?"

"Why are you being so difficult?"

"I am not difficult! I'm just decompressing from taking back-to-back exams. Besides, He'll throw a hissy fit if he sees your ill-gotten cargo in his vacation house."

"You could be a lot nicer. It wasn't my idea to come here, sweetheart."

"He's been trying to be really nice to you. You don't make it easy for him."

"Yeah, when he's not strangling me or trying to freeze m in carbonite. I know why he's inviting me here."

"You're paranoid."

"He knows about the book."

"Shhhh! Keep your voice down!"

"You keep your voice down."

"Then tell me why he's being so nice?"

"He considers you family."

"Ha! Now that's rich! Family my ass!"

"He's been really good to you this year…so far."

"Right. He let me live. Does your brother know you're here?"

"He does now."

"Somehow, I always get the feeling we're crashing a party."

"Well, he needn't worry; we're staying here with my parents. We're not going to intrude on his moronic friends."

"Afraid of a run-in with Kyp?"

"Nooo, why did you have to bring that up? We were twelve."

"I just wanted to test your reaction."

"You're jealous! I can't believe you're jealous of Kyp …you are! You're jealous."

"I thought you might still have feelings for him."

"No. I was young and naïve back then. Anyway, I'm over that strange phase in my life with that little gnat."

"Strange phase? The strange phase was kissing your brother during a game of 'Spin the Lightsaber'."

"We were blindfolded. Why did you have to go bring that up? What's with you today?"

"I'm just making conversation. It's cold out here. Can't we argue inside?"

"I don't want my family to hear us."

"You're talking loud enough."

"I hate you."

"Well, you're a nag and you're pushy."

"You need to comb your hair." She fumbles with the doorknob in her oversized sheared Wampa mittens.

"I will, once we get inside where there's a warm fire. No need to get personal, princess!" He looks at his reflection in the chrome porch lamp and smoothes the tuft of hair poking out of his Hoth Face parka. "What's taking you so long? I'll open the door."

"Don't speak to me" Let go. I got it!" She slaps his hand away.

"You can't turn the doorknob in those mittens."

"Let go of the knob, Han!"

Suddenly the door flies open. Everyone is in the living room looking at them. Anakin is standing at the door with his arms folded. Leia is on her knees battling with Han for the door. She quickly stands and straightens herself. She flashes a bright smile. Kyp takes a holograph of the couple as they are at the door. Leia holds her hand over his face and shoves him out of the way, then smiles sweetly when she sees her father. Han rolls his eyes.

"Oh, hi, Daddy." She opens her arms and gives him a big hug and a kiss."

"Hello, sweet pea." He holds his daughter and looks at Han with a sly smirk. "You giving my little girl a hard time, nerfherder?"

"Good afternoon, Mr. S, I'm fine. How are you?"

"It's almost dusk, Mr. Solo." Couldn't you get my daughter here at a decent hour?"

"It's still afternoon, Sir. Besides, she had an exam. I waited outside her classroom until she was done."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot. You're good at trolling classrooms for young girls."

Han is about to say something he will soon regret. Isabel enters the room and reaches out to give Han a hug. She rescues the young man just in time…from himself as well as from her husband..

"Han, how are you? We're so glad you could make it."

"Thank you, Mrs. Skywalker. Might I be so bold as to tell you how ravishing you look? That winter outfit looks very becoming."

"Thank you, Han. I'm glad you noticed." She glances over at her husband and bats her eyes. Anakin has not given her one compliment all day.

Anakin pouts then releases his daughter. Luke has a big smile on his face as he awaits a hug from his sister. Leia finally embraces her brother.

"Hey, Luke."

"Hey, Sis." He whispers to her. "You're wearing more clothes than the last time you had your photo taken."

"Shut up!' She slaps her brother on the head. She whispers back in a terse, hushed voice, "What did you tell them?"

"Relax. I just told him to take a holograph. He doesn't know anything."

Everyone is invited to stay for dinner. Valin is grateful for this since his funds are low. Master Halcyon makes Luke promise not to lend his son any money during this ski trip. Obi-Wan does Luke a favor and slips a billfold to Valin filled with enough credits to get him through the weekend.

Luke's friends leave after dinner, but Mara remains. She joins Leia, Luke, and Han in one of the guestrooms to play with the baby. Anakin passes by. The door is closed. He hears laughter. Li-An is enjoying the attention. Anakin smiles. He continues on to the master suite. Isabel is sitting on a velvet sofa in front of the fireplace. She smiles then pats the empty space beside her. Anakin sulks then obediently takes his place beside his wife.

"You know, I was going to tell you how hot you looked in that outfit."

"Save it, Anakin. You might hurt yourself."

Obi-Wan is challenging his new date to a drinking contest downstairs.

The holiday soon ends, but not before Anakin takes Han Solo on a wild late night snowmobile ride across the Hoth tundra. Anakin mentions something about a package Han may have received in the mail some time ago. He makes Han promise never to let those holographs get into the wrong hands or there will be hell to pay. Just when things were going so well…

_To be continued… ''Say My Name' 'Battle of Wills…The Baby and the Sith Stand-off' _

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	102. Chapter 102 Happy Birthday, Baby Sith

_Chapter 102_

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'_Happy Birthday, Baby Sith' _

'_Say My Name' _

'_Battle of Whills…The Baby and the Sith Stand-off' _

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Coruscant -

Anakin is glad to be back in the comfort of him home. There is a lot to do. A birthday party is about to take place in several weeks.

Leia and Luke do most of the planning. They have always wanted a sibling since they were six years old. Now this is their chance to have some fun.

Isabel's parents help. Isabel tells the twins not to do anything too flashy but Leia and Luke have other plans.

On the day of the party, Isabel's parents arrive. Li-An has no idea what is going on but he is enjoying the day so far. The other guests have not yet arrived. Skippy keeps him entertained. Isabel decides he needs a nap before the party begins. The day room overlooking the garden is festooned with balloons and streamers. There is an Ewok piñata hanging in the archway for the children.

Leia and Luke argue over which piñata to buy. There is a non-violent version with a string trigger to release the goodies from its butt. Luke and Han prefer the good old reliable 'whack 'em, 'hack'em' version. This reminds her never to ask them to help her run errands again.

Anakin pretends to be horrified when he sees it dangling from the beam in the room.

"Dreadful. Just dreadful. Who thought of this? The poor children will have bad dreams all night."

"It's okay, Daddy, At least it's not the one you bash with a stick."

"You've got a point there, sweet pea." He pretends to appear sincere as he pours on the fatherly air of concern. Leia is pragmatic, however, since she realizes it is, after-all a children's party. She becomes buoyant when she thinks about her little brother and how happy he will be.

"Well, I'm going to check on the food then I'm going to take a shower and get dressed. Li is going to be so excited!"

"See you in a bit, sweetie."

She is giddy and smiles at everyone as she looks around on last time. As soon as Leia leaves the room, Anakin laughs. He walks behind a rocking chair and opens the closet. Some of the twin's old toys are there. Anakin reaches in and pulls out a little league plasmaball bat. He cranes his neck to see if anyone is looking other than present company.

"I wish I could take a good whack at it now. Where's your sister? Is she still around?"

"She's in the nursery."

Han leans against the doorway.

"She sure is upset."

"This piñata is no fun, all those stupid strings dangling from the Ewoks' butt. Looks like he swallowed a ball of yarn or 'Krazy String.' Let's switch those bad boys around."

Luke dutifully obeys his father and hangs the traditional piñata. Han stands back as he examines the hanging object.

"You know, this is a kid's party. We shouldn't be trying to smash the thing."

"We could let the kids take a swing or two. They would love this"

"Mr. S, I don't think your wife would be too pleased to see them swinging at a beloved children's character."

"Solo, that ride on Hoth didn't teach you much, did it?"

"I 'm just thinking about your daughter. She loves these little critters."

"Oh, please, Han. You don't care about Ewoks anymore than I do. You're only taking her side so you can continue your make-out sessions. My wife and I are still in shock. We're absolutely devastated."

Han mumbles something, not intending to be heard.

"Shock…right."

"It's not as if it's a real Ewok, Solo. It's paper mâchè. How could she get upset over that?"

"Apparently, sir, you don't know your daughter as well as you think. She gets very sensitive about these things."

"I know my daughter just fine. Don't you worry your scruffy little head about it. Speaking of your head, does your neck still hurt from our snowmobile ride?"

"Leia's been putting compresses on it. I've been going to a physical therapist twice a week. You could have waited until I was all the way inside the vehicle and securely buckled in."

"You complain too much. The pain is all in your head." Han stares at him when he says this.

"You practically kidnapped me into the freezing night. I barely got a chance to put on my parka."

"You're just slow. I gave you plenty of time."

Anakin is focused on the piñata. He takes some practice swings at the air. He misses Han by centimeters. The handsome nerfherder leaps out of the way. Anakin barely notices. Han yells at him.

"Hey! Watch it!"

"Oh, you're still here? Hey Luke, You want to take a shot?"

"What? At Han? Dad, hasn't he been through enough?"

"I don't care about him. I'm talking about the piñata."

"You've got one hell of a swing there. You could have been a great Major League Plasmaball player, Dad."

"You really think so, Luke?"

"Yeah! You've got great form and you hit perfectly."

"That's a nice compliment. Thanks, son."

"You're welcome, Dad."

Anakin chest bumps Luke.

"Ow!" Luke rubs his shoulder.

"Oh, sorry, Luke. Did I hurt you?"

"I think I'm alright."

"You need to buff up, son."

"I'm good. So, you're going to try to hit it?" He is still rubbing his shoulder but points to the piñata.

"You know what?" He takes another look to make sure no one is around. "I'm going to whack the crap outta this critter. Watch out, here goes nothing."

Luke cups his hands over his mouth to announce his father up at bat.

"Ladies ad Gentlemen, here he comes, number 3 'The Tatooine Slugger,' Anakin 'Boom-boom' Skywalker! …And the crowd goes wild. Yaaaah!"

Han sits on the sofa twirling a leftover Ewok party streamer. A balloon is attached to the end table. He bats it away as it floats near his head. He watches the 'sith-hitter' warming up. He responds to Luke's 'crowd cheers' forgetting that the dark lord has excellent hearing.

"Boooo."

Anakin turns and pounds the bat in the palm of his hand in a threatening manner. He shakes the bat in Han's direction. Han clams up then pretends to look around at the party decorations. Luke claps and urges his father on. He is also trying to distract him in order to save Han from any physical harm before the party begins.

"Come on, Dad. You can do it. Hey batta batta batta hey batta batta batta SWING batta!"

Anakin flips the bat in the air and catches it; as he does this, he takes a swing at the dangling Ewok piñata. Han sees someone through the glass double doors. He tosses the streamer behind the sofa.

"Uhm, Mr. S…"

"Don't do it, Han, I'm on a roll here. If you make me miss, I'll give you more than a case of whiplash."

Han suddenly grins.

"Ok, Sir. As you wish."

Anakin swings. The force of the swing causes a breeze through Luke's blonde hair. The contents of the doomed Ewok piñata spill onto the floor like hailstones. The faux fur legs dangle by a shred of paper mâchè. The entire rear end is missing leaving a gaping hole. The left arm cannot hold on to the thin thread any longer. It drops to the floor. Anakin starts to cheer.

"Who's the man? Slap me five! I kick ass! That was beautiful!"

Luke high-fives his father then stops. They are face to face with Isabel and her mother. Threepio and Artoo join them to see what the commotion is all about in the party room. Anakin panics and quickly tosses the bat in Han's direction almost hitting him. Han catches the bat just in time but also bad timing as Leia follows shortly behind the two women. Han tries to hide the bat behind him. Leia is furious.

"Han! How could you!"

"Leia! Leia, come back, it wasn't me…it was your father."

"I know you and my dad don't agree on things but this is the most reprehensible thing you have ever done. My father's been really good to you. I saw you. You're the only one holding the bat, Han."

Anakin looks at his wife then tries to switch his attention to Leia. He knows he is going to get an earful from his Isabel.

"Leia, it's ok, honey. Han didn't mean it." He rubs his arm.

"Oh, Daddy. Are you ok?" She touches his arm.

"I'm just fine, sweet pea."

"Han, don't speak to me for the rest of the day."

She storms out. There is silence. No one wants to make eye contact with Isabel. She walks over to Han.

"Han, give me the bat." He complies with her request. She takes the bat then walks over to Luke and his father. Anakin slowly backs away and holds his hands up in defense mode.

"Now, Isabel, take easy. Ouisanne, Mom, hold your daughter back."

Luke tries to hide behind his father. He pokes his head up over his father's shoulder.

"Mom, Nana, I didn't do it."

Isabel is still holding the bat but it is positioned upright on the floor.

"Don't worry, I know who's responsible."

Anakin looks over his shoulder at the son who has just betrayed him then back at his wife.

"Isabel…we can talk this through. First, you need to drop the bat."

"Shut up." She swings the bat over her shoulder. Her left hand is on her hip. She looks down at the floor. The floor is littered with candy all around them. "Anakin Skywalker?"

"Yes, dear?"

"I want you to pick up every bit of candy, I want this room straightened up the way Leia left it, and I want to talk to you when you're done. Luke, Han, I want you to hang that other ridiculous piñata and leave the room immediately. Go sit on the patio and keep out of trouble. Well? What are you three waiting for? Get to work. The three of you are worst than a bunch of 5 year olds. I'm in no mood to supervise you geniuses."

Threepio retrieves a broom and dustpan and drops it in front of his master. Anakin gives the droid a dirty look. He begins picking up the small treats.

"Luke , what happened, I thought you had my back?"

"I never said that. I said I was behind you…I was…in a matter of speaking."

"Suck up. _'I didn't do it, Mom, Nana, I'm innocent' _There's no loyalty around here anymore"

Luke grabs a stepladder and unhooks the broken piñata as Han waits to hand him the new one. Artoo chirps something to Threepio.

"Well, it serves them right, Artoo. Look at this place. Leia worked so hard on this room to make it special for little Li-An's first birthday. And the master is behaving like common riffraff. He should be setting an example. He's not doing a very good job at getting all that candy off the floor. What's that, Artoo?" Artoo respond as if cautioning the outspoken protocol droid. "Well let him try. The lady of the house has instituted a new 'sith hands-off' policy. I'm immune from any and all unwarranted disassembly. Humph!"

Anakin grumbles as the two droids leave.

"Fine, I heard you, _'Judge Droidy.' _Who does she think she is? Instituting _'policies'._ "

He begins to imitate his wife belting out orders with her hand on her hip. He uses a shrill falsetto voice that sounds nothing like her but it's the best he can do. Han and Luke chuckle as he imitates her hand and body gestures.

"_You three…I want all this mess cleaned up. You are like five year olds. I just don't have time for this. I have to go to the spa and then get my hair done. I have soooo much to do. I'm just too beautiful to put up with this. I need new shoes. The two hundred pairs I have in my closet don't match anything. My husband doesn't understand me." _He speaks normally now._ "_Since when is her life so difficult? She spends a few minutes in labor and delivery and thinks the galaxy owes her."

Anakin shovels up more candy. He sees two sets of feet as he kneels to scoop up the Ewok offerings. He suddenly changes his tune.

"_Oh, hi,_…" His voice cracks as he tries to changes to his normal voice. "Hi, honey. Hey, Obi-Wan. Glad you could make it. You're early."

Obi-Wan smiles then looks over at Isabel.

"It's so good to see them working together. Are you sure there isn't anything I can do to help?"

"Not a thing, Obi-Wan. You're family but you're also a revered guest. Have a seat, please. I'll be back."

She leaves. Anakin makes a scowl. He looks over at Obi-Wan who takes a seat on the sofa.

"Hey, master, grab a broom. She's gone. Why don't you lend us a hand?"

"I would but it would change the balance of things. She specifically asked me to sit and relax. How's clean-up?"

"Don't be cute. I see that smug look on your face. It's not a becoming Jedi trait."

"But you're doing so well. Look at the three of you working together as a team. Master Luke, that's a fine looking Ewok piñata. Han, good to see you again. How's your whiplash injury?"

"Getting better. If I make it out of here alive, I'll go home and rest up."

Anakin mumbles as he continues picking up the candy. He mocks Han. "_If I survive…blah…blah_…' Master, he's a faker, don't listen to him."

The 'wrecking crew' exits once the room is back in order again for the party. Han and Luke go out onto the patio where the maid serves them some refreshments. Han calls Lando on his cell phone to make sure he is coming so the afternoon won't be a total waste.

Anakin goes upstairs to take a shower. On the way to his room, he sees someone in the nursery. His father-in-law is in the room singing to the baby. Li-An is standing in his crib babbling away. Anakin pokes his head in the door. The singing immediately stops. Nakai looks up at Anakin.

"Hey, Anakin. How are you doing?"

"Fine, fine." The two men shake hands. Nakai looks as if he's caught a skurrier mouse. He has a sheepish smile on his face. "How's the retired life treating you?"

"Feels great. Lots of free time. What was all that commotion downstairs?"

Anakin waves his hand dismissively.

"Oh, a big deal about nothing. So, you're singing to Li-An? Don't stop. I heard him laughing. He seems to be enjoying it."

"Yeah…" Nakai tries to change the subject. "So…you like being back at work?"

"Yes, I do. It's not bad. Everything's falling into place." His cell phone beeps. He ignores it.

"Well, you did one hell of a housecleaning at that place. I hardly recognize the place when I drive by."

"We've made a lot of changes. So, are you ready you celebrate today?"

"Yeah. I can't believe it's been a year already. He's doing so much."

"Yeah, I'm still waiting for him to talk. He hasn't said that magic word yet."

"What's that? 'Bye-Bye'?"

Anakin is annoyed.

"No! He hasn't said 'Daddy' or anything else recognizable as a word."

Nakai is blasé about Anakin's concern about the birthday boy's language development.

"Well, you know, these things take time. But look at him! Cutest little sith in the galaxy. Yeah…he's a sweet little baby." Anakin's cell phone rings again. Nakai points to it. "Aren't you going to get that?"

"Uhm…later…So, he's just waking up from his nap? I could have sworn I heard him singing along with you when I was walking down the hall."

"I suppose, in his own little baby language. So, where are you off to?"

"Uhm…to take a shower and change. I had better get going." He scratches his head then looks around the room. See you in a bit." He gently caresses the baby's head and kisses him. Li-An sits back down in his crib.

As Anakin leaves the room and heads down the hall to the master bedroom, Nakai starts singing again. Anakin backs up and looks into the nursery once more. Nakai waves cheerfully. The baby babbles and plays with a squeeze toy. Skippy sits and watches Anakin. After standing in the door for a moment , he waves and leaves again.

The guests start arriving just as Anakin is getting dressed. The shower felt good. He looks in the bathroom mirror and examines his hairline. He is checking for traces of gray. That daughter of his taunts him incessantly and tells him each week that he has them. The cursory inspection yields nothing. Those darned kids. He feels better now. The cell phone rings again. He watches it light up vibrate. It almost vibrates off the Geonosian granite counter around the sink. It finally stops.

Anakin goes to his walk-in closet and gets dressed. He selects a white shirt to wear with his black pants. Isabel always gives specific instructions to the laundry when they do his shirts. Not too much starch and they must be steam-pressed. His clothes always feel soft to the touch and never have that heavy crunchy feel. He knows he complains about many things. He never worries about this. The dark lord looks in the mirror one last time. He looks and feels great, ready to mix with company…as long as no one pisses him off.

He starts down the hall to the stairs. He can hear his wife chatting with her friend and former boss, and Blaise, Lara's husband. The cell phone starts up again. Anakin lets out a heavy sigh then slows down. He stops near the top of the steps. Isabel's nieces and nephews are in the house. They are already playing in the garden chasing one another. It reminds him of a time when the twins were very young. He remembers the parties. It feels good to hear these sounds again. The sound of children's laughter was intoxicating. He finally answers the phone.

"Yes? What?...oh yeah. Sorry, guys. It's a hectic day. Yes, I know, I promised. I almost forgot…uhmm…yeah…it's ok…but listen, come to the service entrance… my wife isn't going to be thrilled…you'll be around for the duration right?...oh good. Yes, that's what I'm afraid of…well, that's good….you seem to have come prepared but if you need to do it…yes, please…out of sight…we don't want to scare the kids if it comes to that. Thanks…if you can keep this in control there's an extra tip in this for you if all goes well. Alright…Thanks."

He switches of the phone. Suddenly he smiles. Isabel heads up the stairs and sees her husband. She smiles back at him. As they meet halfway, she reaches out to him and touches his arm.

"Wow, you sure clean up good."

"I do my best."

"I love you."

"I know."

They kiss on the staircase. All is forgiven. She never once brings up his bad behavior from earlier that afternoon. Anakin gently sweeps a lock of her hair away from her cheek. Her hair smells like fresh Felucia freesia, the fragrance she wore the day of her interview with him over ten years ago. That day has been one of the happiest days of his life. He cups her face in his hands. She wonders why he is gazing at her this way.

"What is it?"

"Nothing. Where are you going? The party is downstairs."

"But the birthday boy is upstairs."

"I'll go with you."

They walk towards the nursery. Anakin forgets how long he had been in the shower after leaving the baby alone with his grandfather. The birthday boy is now alone in the room. Nakai had left shortly after his chat with Anakin to let Li-An continue his nap. No one wants a cranky baby at a birthday party. Isabel and Anakin dress their little celebrity for his special appearance.

The little blue romper compliments his beautiful blue eyes. Anakin would have dressed him differently but the outfit is a gift from Nana Nor. It is from that chic-chic baby boutique on Rodian Drive. A person could feed a small star system for the cost of the over-priced baby garment. Anakin has to admit, however, that it looks adorable, except for, as he pointed out to Isabel; the little New Republic Naval hat had to go. This was fine with her. Li-An wouldn't like it anyway. The three descend the stairs. Isabel lets Anakin carry the infant. Li-An is quiet and yawns as he is just coming out of his little nap. Isabel's parents wait at the bottom of the stairs. Anakin is smiling as he greets them.

"Li-An, did you thank your grandmother for the lovely birthday outfit?"

Ouisanne is beaming then says something to Anakin and Isabel.

"Did you forget his little hat?"

"Yes, mother." Isabel does not say another word about the hat.

Anakin brings the baby into the dayroom where all the guests are. The children cheer and clap. Li-An is stunned for a moment. The room is quiet. No one wants to startle the poor tot 'guest of honor.'

Li-An breaks into a smile then claps too. Anakin places him in the highchair. Leia plops a baby-sized bear clan party hat on his head. She kisses him. Li-An is enjoying the festivities so far. Luke hands him a lightsaber birthday rattle. Li-An shakes it fiercely.

Along with the family, a few other guests appear. Li-An's saviour and occasional baby sitter, Jar-Jar Binks arrives. Li-An laughs when Jar-Jar lumbers through the door. The carefree Gungan hurries over to the highchair. Li-An reaches out for him and babbles. "Ohhh, look at almost sith-napped Skywalker baby! All happy to beesa one-year old now. Howsa be Youngling birthday boy? Yousa be getting many bombastic baby Youngling presents today!"

Anakin groans.

"No wonder my kid can't talk, look at the role models we expose him to. Next time Leia and Luke decide to go on a date when they are supposed to baby-sit, I'm going to disinherit them."

Isabel embraces her husband.

"Now, Anakin, you know you don't mean that."

"Well, I could if I wanted to."

Four of Li-An's late night ghostly pals from his father's past make an appearance. Li-An giggles and bangs the toy lightsaber on the highchair tray. Family and friends take holographs and turn on their holocams. Li-An turns left and right as people gather around him for a holo memory.

The housekeeper answers the front door. It is Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. They arrive late as usual but before the cake is brought out. Anakin rolls his eyes.

"Owen will be late for his own funeral."

Isabel nudges her husband. "Be nice. Let's go over and say 'Hello.'"

Anakin wrinkles his nose then heads over to the entrance of the dayroom as the maid escorts them in. Isabel urges her husband on.

"Alright, alright, don't push me!" He walks over to the moisture farmers 'Ma and Pa Dry Dock.' "Hey, late again to another family event I see. Beru, aren't you going to leave this boring lump of sand yet?" Isabel pinches her husband. "Ow!" He manages a smile. "Glad you could make it."

Owen is unfazed but he makes his typical statement. Anakin can mouth the précised words Owen is about to use. He feels it coming on. Isabel has no force powers since she was pregnant with Li-An but Owen is a predictable old soul. She knows what Anakin is about to do. She has to admit, her husband does a great Owen imitation. She manages not to laugh. The only way she can do this is not to look at her mischievous husband. They are both waiting for those magical words to come out of the farmer's mouth.

"Well, there was a big traffic jam along the Metellos Trade Route 66, so it was slow going all the way through the Corellian Run Highway. Once traffic backs up there, it's just snail crawling the rest of the trip."

"Yeah, uhmhum…that's how it is…You're always slow going, I reckon. Mmm."

Isabel is about to burst when Anakin starts talking in a slow drawl. She pinches him under his ribcage. He playfully slaps her hand away. She knows this is one of his few ticklish spots. Beru is happy to see the couple and embraces both of them. She gives Isabel's hand a warm squeeze.

"Isabel, you always look so beautiful. I love your dress."

"Thank you, Beru. It's so great to see you and Owen."

Beru can see the baby in the highchair from where she is sitting.

"The baby looks so adorable."

Owen chimes in. "Whose idea was it to dress him in that chic-chic outfit?"

Anakin could not have made this up if he wanted to.

"Oh, Owen, you've met Isabel's parents, haven't you?" He grins with great satisfaction knowing that his mother-in-law has hear Owen's remark about the romper suit. Owen and Beru nod politely.

"Oh, hello, how are you?"

Nakai is amused as well, because he told his wife not to put the outfit on the baby. He is overruled when Leia walks in and sees the gift box. Nakai had to roll his eyes and leave the room when this happened. Isabel had another lovely outfit given to her from Lara. Lara takes no offence that the baby was not wearing her gift. Isabel knew there would eventually be a need for a wardrobe change at some point during the party.

Beru sees Obi-Wan across the room and looks around for a party cup. She grabs a 'Little Me Ewok' drink cup then shuffles over to the Jedi Master to get a little nip from his flask.

There is a commotion in the kitchen. Anakin has a feeling he knows what it is. He excuses himself to check on things. Finally, Artoo is lighting the candle on the cake. Threepio lifts the cake and brings it into the party room. The droid turns around to look towards the corridor leading to the kitchen. He looks terrified. Han leans in towards Lando.

"I think the bigger surprise is still in the kitchen."

"Anakin didn't do what I think he's done, has he?"

"Trust me, he's don something that's going to upset somebody around here."

Isabel's brothers, Stefan and Philippe storm into the kitchen. Philippe returns then whispers something to Anakin. Anakin follows him back into the kitchen. All Isabel can hear is Anakin's voice. It is firm and to the point.

"If you step out of line just once….well, you know the rest. Don't 'eff' with me today."

A few moments later, Anakin returns to the dayroom with the other guests. He takes his place by his wife's side. She whispers to him and points to the kitchen. Luke and Leia watch as Isabel is obviously giving Anakin a piece of her mind.

The Force Ghosts are having a field day with the turn of events. Mace laughs.

'_Someone's sleeping on the sofa tonight.'_

Qui-Gon nods.

'_Anakin is so not getting any tonight.'_

'_Look at Anakin trying to explain. Dumbass.'_

Anakin is whispering to Isabel. She looks annoyed. Her father is wondering what is going on as well. Li-An's Jedi godparents, Adi Gallia and Obi-Wan already know. They remain calm and keep smiling. Isabel pretends to smile as she speaks to Anakin through her clenched teeth.

"So, when were you going to tell me?"

"I was going to tell you when you were calm."

"I am calm."

"No you're not."

"This is supposed to be a special day, Anakin. I knew we should have had a small party."

"Bel, please don't be upset. I gave him a warning. He knows what will happen if he doesn't behave. Besides, he's wearing a boot."

"It'll be alright, I promise you. Let's enjoy our son's birthday."

When Threepio enters the room with the cake, everyone begins to sing "Happy Birthday." The cake is in the shape of an Ewok wearing a bib and a diaper. It is holding a rattle. Li-An looks around at the crowd.

Not far behind Threepio are two burly men. Luke recognizes them immediately. It is Tomo and Tiny from the Shady Acres Retirement Home. Sandwiched between the two men is former Emperor Palpatine. He is dressed in civilian clothes, a Tauntaun cardigan sweater, and a gingham shirt. Underneath his khaki Sith Dockers is a holoshackle. Han remarks about the old man flat butt baggy pants. Leia makes faces as Han gives his fashion narrative:

"Senior citizen Sith leisure wear is all the rage this season. Our model, Dantius is wearing Empire Dockers with the flat butt saggy panel. The trousers adjust to all 'old guy' styles, high waist, super high waist, and under the armpits. He is wearing a coordinating plaid 'old grand dad' button down shirt and it's topped off with 2-ply Tauntaun cashmere cardigan. The trouser cuffs conceal the ever-so-fashionable 'catch-a-sith' ankle shackles. It's a must-have for every former sith overlord. I love his Hush Eopies." He turns to Leia. "Those are some happening shoes. Is this what your father's going to wear when he hits his 'Golden Years'?"

"Han, be quiet, he'll hear you."

"He's too busy keeping an eye on old Beelzebub."

Leia covers her mouth to keep from laughing. She is getting a horrifying vision of her handsome father in senior citizen apparel and shuffling around the house as an old man. "Ewww!"

Mara leans on Luke's shoulder and giggles. "Oh, sith! He really did show up. This is one whacky family."

Meanwhile 'Old Beelzebub Senior' is entering the room with his 'handlers.'

He walks in singing along with the crowd and waving his hands as if he is conducting the Coruscant Royal Philharmonic Orchestra. The other guests are stunned. Some of the singing dies down. Palpatine sings in front of the baby. Li-An stares at him as the old man moves closer. Obi-Wan gets the crowd going once more with another chorus of 'Happy Birthday.'

"…Happy birthday dear Li-An…Happy Birthday to youuuuuu…!"

The baby finally smiles and claps with the crowd. Palpatine tries to lean in to kiss the infant. Li-An withdraws then whacks the old Sith on the head with the lightsaber rattle.

"Owww!" He rubs his head.

Leia laughs aloud. Li-An starts to cry. Tomo and Tiny make the old man back away and sits him in a chair. Palpatine is stunned for a moment and sees tiny star systems as he stumbles backwards. His handlers yell at him.

"Serves you right! Sit your old wrinkled behind down in that chair! Nobody told you to get in the kid's face. Don't make us turn on your ankle boot on stun."

Luke and Leia gather around Li-An and blow out the candle for him. Li-An stops crying but he keeps a watchful eye on the old man. The pint-sized lightsaber is at the ready. Isabel is furious. Anakin comforts her and assures her Li-An is alright. The Force Ghosts laugh. Mace slaps his knee and howls with laughter.

'_Did you see Li-An cold-cock the old buzzard? That baby has a great right hook!'_

Qui-Gon pretends to shadow box and calls to the baby.

'_That plastic lightsaber can do some damage. Hit him again, Li!'_

Anakin Force-speaks to the ghost.

"Master, don't encourage him."

'_Anakin, he scared the baby. Stupid old coot!'_

"Li-An can take care of himself just fine. Let's just have a nice party, alright?"

Threepio walks pass the former Emperor and whacks him with a serving tray.

"Take that you bully."

Isabel walks over to the table and takes her baby and wipes the cake off his fingers. Jar-Jar stands nearby and stretches his rubbery face to make the baby laugh. The Gungan does not disappoint. Li-An laughs. He reaches over and grabs Jar-Jar's nose. Jar-Jar grabs the baby's nose. Anakin yells over to him.

"Jar-Jar! Watch it!"

Li-An doesn't seem to mind. He seems to have the upper hand anyway. Luke and Lea help open the gifts. Obi-Wan gives Li-An a sterling silver cup engraved with the Jedi emblem and Li-An's initials. Owen mutters to himself.

"It figures. The old alchi gives the kid a drinking vessel."

Luke unwraps a gift. It is from Owen and Beru. It is a 'Tiny-Tot Tatooine Farming Set.' It includes a hoe, rake, and a shovel. Anakin and Obi-Wan chuckle as they stand off to the side near the doorway.

"That's why he didn't get to be godfather. He can't wait to put some poor kid to work on that 'not-for-profit or any other good use' farm of his."

Beru saves the day however, when Luke holds up a little hand-made crocheted jacket. Actually, it is a beautifully made garment. Li-An's cousins shower him with gifts of their own. His grandparents give him a canoe, clothes and shares in the Nor Shipping business. Jar-Jar gives him a holo-navigational map of all the major waterways of the galaxy. He will make good use of this one day. Luke gives his little brother his first Youngling Jedi practice outfit. It is regulation color, not pink like the one Leia had Artoo dye for her when she was 6 years old.

Han gives Li-An some items for survival, a toddler-sized leather jacket, and a treasure hunter's kit, which includes a whip. Anakin promptly confiscates these items. He assures Han the gift will be presented to the child when he's older and can appreciate the value of it. Anakin thinks it's a cool gift though. Han is planning to teach Li-An how to use the whip when he gets older. The tot can use it as leverage against a handsome sith lord who happens to be head of the household. Han would love to see this in use! Whip the sith! Whip 'em good! A nerfherder can dream, can't he?

Palpatine nudges Tomo to hand over his gift. Anakin intervenes as the old man tries to hand the gift directly to the infant. Anakin opens the package.

"I'll take that."

"It's harmless. I promise, Anakin."

"Take it easy. He'll have plenty of time to look at this stuff. Remember, he's just a baby."

"I suppose you're right, I hope he likes it."

It is an ornament made of tiny tiles. Palpatine begrudgingly participates in one of the senior activities. Lorian Nod, the senile old coot, coaxes the former Emperor to join him in the class. It turns out to be therapeutic. The tile image is of the Jedi Temple. Palpatine resigned himself to the fact that the Skywalker children were destined to become Jedi. He finally does something that is totally selfless.

He makes something he knows they will cherish. He also throws in a potholder…for no particular reason. It was the first item he made at the retirement home. It was either folk crafts or spiritual healing. He wasn't ready for any incense and boring chanting, so he took the crafts class.

A nice old grey-haired lady teaches him to use the loom. After six attempts, he finally creates the knotty little potholder but not before he tried to steal the honorable mention award-winning tea cozy made by another resident. She is a kindly elderly woman who gave up a life of privilege to help the poor. Palpatine knew he would be ostracized if he stole the item. If he is to get to move into that retirement cottage Anakin's been dangling over his head for nearly a year, he needed to be a team player.

Anakin examines the multi-colored uneven looking piece of cloth. He places it back in the box with the tile. He still had to think through this retirement housing situation. The old man is making progress, but he has to work harder.

By this time, the cake is served to the guests. It is almost time for games. Isabel holds the baby as the older children take turns pulling the string on the Ewok. Nothing happens after all the strings are pulled. Anakin knew this would happen. Suddenly, the ghostly figure of Ki Adi Mundi appears and punches an invisible Jedi arm through the paper mâchè Ewok. Candy and other treats pour onto the floor. The children cheer. Ki Adi looks at Leia.

'_Don't thank me. I only saved the day.'_

The other three ghosts shrug. Qui-Gon folds his arms.

'_I was thinking of doing that.'_

Mace and Aayla Secura scoff at him then laugh.

'_Right.'_

Mace gives the habitually late Jedi ghost the 'thumbs up' salute.

'_Good work, man. For once, showing up late paid off.'_

'_I do what I can.'_

'_Tell me this? Why are you late all the damn time?'_

'_Well…I'm a busy ghost. The chicks dig me.'_

'_What chicks?'_

'_A Jedi does not brag and tell.'_

Qui-Gon grins.

'_You should. You don't have that much going for you.'_

'_Women admire me for my brains.'_

'_They must not want much.'_

'_Well, I made some children happy today. That's all that matters. It impresses the ladies.'_

While the guests are mingling and having cake, Isabel feels more relaxed to allow others to hold the baby. She and Anakin keep a watchful eye on Palpatine as he plays 'Pat-A-Cake' with Li-An.

The session isn't going well. The old man is hit in the head. Li-An smiles as Aayla Secura appears and slaps the old sith on cue. Palpatine holds his hand against his forehead.

"Now, Li-An, that's not nice. Let's try this again. Pat-A-Cake, Pat-A-Cake, baker man, bake me a cake in a Mustafar pan…"

Li-An is abruptly scooped off the old man's lap. Jar-Jar takes the baby. Li-An is laughing

"Birthday baby be needing a break."

"I was bonding with him! Bring him back!"

"Nope! Yousa look like yousa be needing baby break too. Got bombastic wet spot on lap from little baby. Hah-ha!"

Palpatine looks at the spot where the baby has been sitting. Li-An has indeed left an offering. The old man calls to his handlers.

"Tomo! Tiny! Get over here! I need help!"

The two handlers stand just outside in the garden eating. Tomo looks at Tiny.

"Did he just yell at us? I'm not hearing him right now. He had better mind his manners."

Without looking up Tiny says, "I'll flip you for it."

"Heads."

"Tails. You lose."

Tomo gets up and lumbers over to Palpatine and escorts him to a nearby guest refresher. He leaves the door ajar against the old man's protests.

"Don't I get some privacy?"

"Nope!"

"People will see me."

"No one is interested in you. Get on with it!"

By the time Palpatine is finished, Isabel has cleaned the baby and changed him into the new outfit from Lara and her husband. The two sets of godparents, Master Adi Gallia, Obi-Wan, Lara and her husband Blaise are playing with the baby in the living room. Anakin stands by the door and sees Palpatine returning to the party room. The room is empty. The children are playing in the garden. He walks in and chats with him.

"So, are you enjoying yourself today?"

The old sith smiles. He is actually pleased to be there.

"I am, Anakin. I am. Thank you for allowing me to take part in this. I wish I could have given Li-An a proper gift on his first birthday."

"You did fine. He's only a baby, he has no clue what's going on. The tile you made for him is perfect."

"Where did the twins go?"

'They're in the family room with their friends. Did you have enough to eat?"

"Yes, yes. I never enjoyed cake until now. It had meaning this time." He looks behind him. Tiny and Tomo have finished eating. They are waiting. Anakin leads the old man through the garden to the front door.

"Well, I'm glad you enjoyed the day."

Suddenly Isabel appears with the baby on her hip. Li-An is twisting his bib and babbling. She stands quietly in the entranceway.

"Thank you for the gift. I'm sure Li-An will appreciate it when he is older."

"Isabel, thank you for allowing me into your home. Anakin is very lucky to have you as his wife." He gently squeezes her hand then touches the baby's face. Li-An turns away. He sees Jar-Jar in the next room."

"Jaj-ja-ja-ja-ja-ja!"

Anakin looks around awkwardly, not knowing what else to say to the old man. He does manage a smile as Li-An babbles wildly. He salutes Tomo and Tiny.

"Thanks guys, you were a big help."

"That's why people hire us, we're big, and we help."

Anakin hands each of the men an envelope. He looks once more at the hapless, and powerless former emperor. He gives the old man a hug. He whispers in his ear.

"Looks like you're getting closer to getting that retirement condo. Keep up the good work."

"Thanks, Anakin. That means a lot. Goodbye."

The handlers escort Palpatine to the nursing home wagon and take off.

Anakin turns and looks at his wife as he closes the door.

"Isabel, that's the nicest thing you could have done for him. I know how difficult it must have been for you.. So, let's get back to our guests."

They spend the remainder of the afternoon with the crowd of family and friends. Luke and Leia return for a moment to take the baby.

"Mom, Dad, we need to borrow Li-An for awhile."

"Leia, Master Adi Gallia is leaving, hold on a sec."

"Oh, right. Sorry." Leia remembers her manners and joins Luke by bowing to the great Jedi Master as she prepares to leave. The rest of the guests depart shortly after. Isabel dismisses the twins to return to their friends.

By early evening, everyone has left. The housekeepers clean up. In the dining room, Anakin gathers with his family, the droids, including Skippy and have a quiet and intimate family birthday celebration for Li-An. A much smaller cake marks this moment. The cake is in the shape of a bear clan helmet.

Anakin hugs his children before retiring for the night. He stops into his study to expedite the deposit for the retirement condominium for 'Beelzebub.' That Han Solo has a name for everyone. Anakin smiles and shakes his head. To the bedroom. He has a standing appointment with his beautiful wife.

A few days later -

Anakin is sitting at the breakfast table reading the Coruscant Times. His twins are heading downstairs with the baby. Isabel is in the laundry room. The twins and their baby brother are all smiling. Anakin senses something. Leia sits in the chair closest to her father. The baby is placed on the table. Anakin has been eating a bowl of Tatooine Flakes His doctor informed him during his last physical that he needed to increase his fiber intake. The half-eaten bowl of cereal is on a placemat between him and the baby.

"Oh, Dad…"

"Yes, Leia? Why are you smiling like that?"

"Guest what Li-An can do?"

"What can he do, Leia?" He is intrigued but he also knows his children are usually up to no good when it concerns him. He tries to keep his excitement level to a minimum.

Leia points to her father as she speaks to the baby.

"Who is this, Li?"

The baby points and looks at Anakin then he looks at his siblings. He breaks into a smile and squeals.

"Jar-Jar!"

Anakin doesn't smile. He stares blankly at his children.

"You disturbed my breakfast for that?"

"Oh, Daddy, you should be thrilled. He's said his first word."

"Great. Jar-Jar. What a wonderful start."

"He calls everybody Jar-Jar."

"Does everyone answer to it?"

"That's not the point, Daddy."

Luke pats his father on the back.

"Dad, he's learning. Look at it that way."

Anakin smells a sith and it's in the breakfast room. He looks at the baby then points to his daughter.

"Li, who is this? Tell me…tell, daddy."

The baby pauses for a moment then points to his sister.

"Yeh-ya."

"Who am I?"

"Jar-Jar!" He claps happily.

"No. Not, Jar-Jar. I'm Daddy." He points to 'Number 1 son.' "Who's the boy in need of a haircut?"

"Loo."

Anakin hears something. He looks under the table.

"Come here, you!" He looks at the baby. "Who is…that?" He points to Skippy who has been lying under the breakfast table.

"Keeppie"

Anakin is becoming annoyed. He sees his wife leaving the laundry room.

"Hey, woman, get over here."

"What's your problem? Eat your cereal, you're getting cranky."

"Is he calling you Jar-Jar? I heard him say it the other night at the party."

Isabel is carrying a laundry basket. She thinks before she speaks.

"Oh, that. He calls everybody Jar-Jar."

Anakin points to his wife. Li, who's she?"

The baby is quiet for a moment. He reaches for the woman with the basket.

"Ma-ma!" Isabel is embarrassed as if caught in a fib. She drops the basket and takes the baby in her arms. Isabel purses her lips then shrugs impishly.

"Hello, baby."

"Li, who is this?" Anakin points to Artoo.

"Ahh-too"

"Bless you." He points to the protocol droid.

"And, him?"

"Fwee…"

"And who am I?"

"Jar-ja-ja-ja! Heheheheh!" A stream of drool dangles from the baby's chin. He grins and reaches for his father. Anakin is heartbroken. He gulps hard. His eyes well up. Then he becomes angry.

"Hmmm...Luke, Lei… Where did those rotten kids go?"

Luke and his sister have disappeared upstairs. They are in Luke's room behind closed doors laughing until tears form. Leia grabs the phone and calls Han. She can barely speak she is laughing so hard. Han thinks it's funny too but not half as much as the twins do. He does get some satisfaction that the baby recognizes him as _'Han nuf'._ The 'Nerf' part was Leia's attempt at humor. He could have done without that.

"Leia, do you really think you should be playing with his head this way? Your practical jokes on your dad have a habit of backfiring."

"But, Han, you…you…you should have seen the expression on his face. I had to leave the room it was so funny…Hold on…Luke is turning blue. I think he's all laughed out. Luke, are you alright?"

Luke nod 'Yes.'

Han continues to express his concern.

"Leia, still…it's only going to piss him off. Give the sith a break. He never had this moment when you were babies."

"We knew he was our father."

"But you were with other people before he got you to himself. Cut the guy some slack."

"He'll be fine. You worry too much. Since when did you start feeling sorry for my dad? You're the biggest instigator of all."

Back in the breakfast room, Anakin folds his arms across his chest. He pouts, "I don't understand this. Threepio, how does he know you but not me? This is an outrage. It's insulting."

Threepio is actually at a loss for words. The golden 'know-it-all' remains quiet. Artoo beeps something in response to Anakin's question.

"What are you talking about, Artoo? What cards?" The astromech droid bleeps and chatters. Anakin is not pleased at what he hears. "I want you to go find these cards and bring them to me." He points and taps his finger on the table.

Several minutes later, the droid deposits a stack of flash cards onto the breakfast table beside his cereal bowl. Anakin sorts through the cards. He notices something. The images of him are in the opposite side of the ones with Jar-Jar Binks. The sith is fuming.

Anakin doesn't speak to anyone all day. Li-An refers to him as 'Jar-Jar.' Anakin swears never to let the Gungan baby-sit ever again.

Anakin is a bad mood for the next two weeks. He has a wife who thinks his situation is funny, twin teenagers find great amusement in a practical joke, and an infant son who thinks his daddy is a clumsy Gungan. It makes a sith want to reach out and choke someone. He resorts to force-choking a few Pit Officers who happen to cross paths with him one afternoon at headquarters. Supreme Chancellor Valorum suggests he take the rest of the week off.

During his third week in the Sith doldrums, Anakin is holed up in his study. Isabel knocks on the door.

"Sweetie? Are you alright?'

"Sweetie' is just peachy. What do you want?"

"No need to get snippy with me, Anakin. I didn't play the joke on you."

"What is it?"

"I'm meeting my mother and Lara in town this afternoon. Would you mind taking Li-An until I get back? I'm sorry to put this on you. I know you need your rest."

"Sure. I'll do it. It'll be good to be home late in the day. The twins aren't home. Those annoying droids are with Luke. This should be a piece of cake."

Isabel gets dressed. She returns downstairs and stops in his study.

"Anakin, I'm ready."

"Alright."

"Anakin, he never wakes up around this time. He's down for the night. But, if he does, there's perasauce in the fridge. Give him a couple spoonfuls. He'll go right back to sleep. I'm sure he--Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"Isabel, go. Don't be silly. How much trouble can a baby be? I've stayed with him before. It hasn't been that long ago since I was a stay at home dad. Go on. Go."

"Okay, I'm off. See you later tonight." She kisses him on his forehead as he writes at his desk.

Twenty minutes pass. Anakin enjoys the peaceful calm of a quiet house. He hears something over the baby monitor, then rushes upstairs. Li-An wakes up to discover his mother has left. He is inconsolable. Anakin paces the floor with him. He has never seen Li-An this upset.

"It's okay. Oh, it's okay. You had a bad dream? Were your horrible twin brother and sister in it? Oh, please don't cry. Please don't cry. Oh, I love you. Daddy's here."

He manages to get Li-An to calm down a bit by taking out some toys and begins playing with him.

"Ooooh, look how much fun we're having." The baby frowns and pushes the toy away. "It's all right. It's all right. It's okay. It's Uncle Jar-Jar!" Anakin rolls his eyes. He feels ridiculous having to call himself something so un-'sithified.'

Li-An starts crying again. Anakin tries to calm the infant. He is losing patience.

"Please don't cry. Please don't cry." He tries a little 'tough love.' "Please. Oh, come on, Li, she's been gone for almost an hour. What am I, a Sarlacc?" He finds the Boga hand puppet. "Oh, here's funny Boga. Funny Boga's talking to--Look. Come on, Ani." He pretends the stuffed Boga is talking. _'Hello, Ani. Why are you so sad?' _Ani…Give me a break, will you? (sigh) Let's go downstairs and have a snack."

Anakin brings the crying baby downstairs and places him in the highchair. He opens a jar of baby food. After a several minutes, he has three more containers that are open on the table.

"Here, come on. Will you eat some more?" You told me to open up this one. Now, this is …" He reads the label. "…Felucia mango. You like this one."

Li-An is not cooperating. He turns away each time Anakin tries to feed him. The beleaguered father is finally triumphant. Most of the food winds up in the little tot's mouth. Li-An eats and swallows the strained fruit.

"Gotcha! Gotcha! Aha! You want a little more pera?"

True to his sith 'heritage', Li-An places his hand in the Ewok food dish and lathers the highchair tray with the food. Li-An is defiant. He is eagerly testing the patience of his father. Anakin is becoming angry. Li-An tosses a handful of baby food at the older sith. Anakin is definitely losing patience with the temperamental infant.

"Don't do that anymore. Don't do that to 'Uncle Jar-Jar.' I'm getting sick of this. How come you can't be nice? I can't believe this; I'm your father. You hurt my feelings. Yes, you have. You're definitely going to sleep after this…here…just try one more spoonful and then I'll put you…"

Li-An has a stare-off with the dark lord as he purposely force-tosses the food dish across the kitchen. The food splatters against the wall and lands in Anakin's hair. Skippy finds a safe haven under the table. Li-An waits for a moment to see if 'Sith-Daddy-Daycare' will exact revenge on a little baby.

Li-An twists the filthy bib that is still around his neck. He reminds Anakin of a possessed child. There are specks of food in Li-An's blond hair, on his face, and embedded in his clothes. He does not seem to care at this point.. He casually rests his chubby feet against the table and plays with a spoon cooing to himself. Anakin grabs the bowl from the floor.

"I don't like you today. It's not funny. It's an excellent day for an exorcism. How about it?" Anakin gingerly removes the sticky and slimy demon-child from the highchair. The chair resembles a hazardous waste vessel. He surveys the once spotless kitchen "Li-An, look at this. She'll have to paint the kitchen…or renovate it. That might be easier." Anakin walks inside the refresher. He shows the baby the mirror. "Li, look at yourself…you see what a bad boy looks like?"

He cleans the baby. Li-An is down to a shirt and diaper after his toxic waste clothes have been dumped in the trash. Anakin does not believe the garments are worth saving.

The two wind up back upstairs in the nursery. Li-An sits in the middle of the room on a blanket and plays with his toys. Anakin is exhausted. He has given up trying to please the baby. Skippy sits nearby watching the dark lord. Anakin sits on the floor in the far corner of the room. He looks like a defeated sith. Apparently, a 1-year old has the higher ground this evening. Anakin squints at the dog.

"What are you looking at? You were no help whatsoever. I thought you were my friend. Now we're stuck in here watching 'Damien Thorn.' Look at him. Kid won't go to sleep. I know he wants to. His will is strong. Look at this room."

He barely has the energy to lift up his left arm as her points to the chaos. Anakin lets out a defeated heartbreaking sigh and starts to cry. Skippy looks up from playing with a droid sphere. The canine droid has never seen his master sob before…not like this. What a wuss! Skippy was gradually losing respect for the man. If only he could talk, he would tell the man to get a grip!

However, during this time, in the throes of woeful bellowing, something happens. The sweet smell of something he remembers as good is resting against his chest. He lifts his hand and touches the soft round head. It is Li-An. The baby has crawled over and rests between Anakin's long, outstretched legs. He looks up at the pouty Sith.

'"Daah-dee"

Anakin looks down as the baby nestles comfortably in his father's arms and falls asleep. It was just as he remembers…just over a year ago when this beautiful angel was first placed in his arms.

"Anakin?"

"I'll be right there."

Anakin emerges from the kitchen. It has been over an hour since Li-An drifted off to slumber land with all the Youngling Angels. He is delighted to see another beautiful face.

Isabel sets her purse on the end table and walks over to greet her husband with a kiss.

"How's Li-An? Any trouble?"

"Oh, not at all. He was an angel. Are you alright?"

"Yes. I'm just exhausted. We met with the committee to revitalize Coco Town and we submitted our vision for the future of the local residents and the factory workers who need a daycare center for their children. I'm glad I went. We made a great case for it."

"That sounds just wonderful, babe. You're not planning anymore of these evening jaunts, are you?"

"No. This was an emergency because the mediator was only available in the evening."

"Good. I'm not used to you being out so late."

"Well, I'm done. I was just called in as a consultant. I'm ready for bed."

"So am I."

They head upstairs. Isabel takes a shower while Anakin looks in on the baby one last time. Isabel is turning down the bed while Anakin takes a quick shower. They are soon nestled in the bed between the silky designer sheets. Isabel looks up at her husband and runs her fingers through his hair.

"Anakin, you seem really happy tonight, almost peaceful."

"It's just having you close to me in our bed."

"I'm flattered."

As they share a passionate kiss, Isabel runs her fingers through his hair. She finds something and examines the tiny object. Anakin stops kissing her for a moment.

"What are you doing I'm just getting in the mood."

Upon closer inspection, she realizes the object has a scent. She tastes it.

"You've got something in your hair…uhm…mango."

"New shampoo."

"Oh, Anakin."

"I love it when you say my name."

_To be continued… "Time Changes Everything"_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	103. Chapter 103 You Too Can Be A Winner

_Chapter 103_

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'_Time Changes Everything'_

'_You Too Can Be a Winner' _

'_Can You Count to Four?' _

'_Reunited, and it Feels So Good…' _

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**Coruscant -**

Everyone is busy lately at the Skywalker house. Isabel has decided to redecorate the master bedroom. She is experiencing a wave of energy that amazes her husband. He thought having an infant Youngling around, getting into things, would wear her out, but it hasn't happened.

Luke and Leia are spending more time out of the house but neither shows any sign of actually leaving the Skywalker_ 'nest'_ any time soon. Luke spends time visiting Mara's house only to be lured into staying for dinner.

Maggie Jade serves her weekly meal to her family. Weekly is an accurate description of how often she serves a hot meal to her family. The menu does not change much. It consists of 'heat and serve' _Tatooine Tater Tots_ and _Mustar-Fried Synthsteak_ from the Dantooine Market.

He sits and listens to Mr. Jade talk about highway maintenance and his 'associates who run a _'respectable' _waste management business. Luke heard stories of certain Trade Organization officials who 'disappeared' suddenly while taking a detour down a desolate highway on the outskirts of Coruscant City. It made him wonder whatever happened to Craul Maul. No one has heard from him since Li-An's baptism.

Leia, meanwhile, is balancing her time between her studies and hanging out on Bespin. She is with her handsome, and much older boyfriend, 'Nuff' (as Li-An calls him). Anakin is trying to get the baby to call Han 'Felon.' Isabel tells her husband to stop this behaviour immediately. She doesn't want the small child to pick up bad habits.

Leia travels to Cloud City to watch Han play celebrity Sabacc. Anakin is not pleased about this one bit. His two eldest children are running amok across the galaxy.

Anakin has a lot to do as well. Gladys hands him his itinerary for the week. It starts with a lunch meeting with Chancellor Valorum and Supreme Commander Mon Mothma to discuss moral amongst the newly merged Republic and Imperial troops. Anakin claims he has a swift solution to get the two groups of officers working together. Mon Mothma advised Anakin that he can no longer Force-choke disgruntled soldiers in the ranks. Anakin say it's a sure-fire way to get them in line. He refers to this as _'behavioral modification and career incentive therapy.'_ The Chancellor and Commander both agree, however, it is not the way to go about creating a more tolerant military. They ask Anakin if he has considered sensitivity training.

"Well, sure but I don't think that would do them any good."

Commander Mon Mothma is diplomatic but to the point when she speaks.

"Uhm, Anakin, we were referring to you."

Anakin responds as if offended.

"What? What's wrong with me? Never mind, I know what you mean."

Anakin takes issue with the other items on his agenda:

_Take Admiral Motti out to dinner to celebrate his employee anniversary._

He asks Gladys, "Can't I just buy him a pie and a greeting card?" He really does not want to do this.

There has never been any love lost between the two men. They have had many verbal sparing matches since Palpatine put him in charge of the ranks. Sometimes Anakin would lose his temper and find his hands directly or 'remotely' grasping someone's throat. The officers generally feared Anakin. He had to learn to gain their respect. He has been working on this for the past few years.

Gladys looks up at him from her wire-rimmed spectacles. Anakin hates when she does this. She has that grandmotherly gaze about her that exudes wisdom, grace, tough love, and no bullsith. Anakin listens carefully as she speaks.

"Now, Anakin, you have to open up to your officers, show them you're one of them…well…you understand them…never mind, just do it for your Auntie Gladys." She gently pinches his cheek. He rolls his eyes then finally gives in.

"Ohh…alright…fine, I'll do it. But I refuse to chit-chat with him."

"That part will come naturally. You're a charming man."

"You're right, Gladys, I am charming." He gazes at himself in the full-length mirror in her office and adjusts his suit jacket. Gladys helps him. She brushes away a particle of lint then smiles sweetly up at him.

"That's my boy. You're learning. Time changes everything, my dear.""

"Thanks, Gladys. I think I can do it. It can't be that unbearable. I'm going for it."

"See, there's that sweet boy from Tatooine that everyone loves."

Anakin walks into his office and closes the door.

'_Ani, you're really going to do the employer-employee after-work thing?'_

"I have to, Master. They want to see the softer gentler 'me' now. Gladys gave me a calendar of every effing event I have to attend just to press the flesh with the officers."

Qui-Gon grins as he sits in the floor to ceiling window overlooking the city. _'Mind if I join you on these jaunts?'_

"I don't care. I've got to be a good boss so I can go home and tell my wife what loyal employees I have then she'll get all romantic, and then I get rewarded for the night. It's a win-win for everyone."

'_Well, if you want to get romantic with someone, she would be it, those holographs you took of her are spectacular…some were crappy…just a little constructive criticism, mind you, I say this only 'cause you blurred the camera or you didn't center the image. You're definitely no Nigel Silver Stallion, but all-in all…not bad.'_

"She did some hot poses. Once I got her all motivated and sith, she was ready to go. I realized I'm just as good at taking pics as that scam artist. What a racket he's got going."

'_I know. He's got a revolving door of babes in his studio.'_

"How do you know?"

'_Mace and I paid a visit to his studio. We got to see parts of chicks we had no idea existed. You might want to pay a visit to his secret vault in the lounge.'_

"Why?"

'_He apparently keeps back-up negatives.'_

Anakin stares blankly as he looks out the window at the city. Qui-Gon knows the anger in his former padawan is brewing.

"If you're about to tell me what I think you are, I'm starting to get really angry. This is not the time."

'_Promise you'll keep him alive to do his work…or not. He has this one mural on his revolving bedroom wall. It's got these two Wookies and they're with these Twi'lek chicks and there's a big robotic Jab…"_

Anakin stops Qui-Gon as the ghost tries to describe the_ "work of art." _Anakin has a lot on his mind and no time for Qui-Gon's ghostly erotic fantasies.

"I'll deal with him later. I've got these other things on my agenda that I need to check off as I complete each one. This sucks."

Anakin is dreading all the employee anniversary lunches and dinners he has to attend within the next thirty days.

That evening, Anakin arrives home. He greets Threepio on the way in the living room.

"Good evening, Sir, So good to see you..."

"Yeah, hi. Be quiet and follow me."

He grabs Li-An who is on the floor playing with Skippy. Threepio tries to keep up with the fast- walking Dark Lord. Isabel tells him to wash up in the refresher near the kitchen because dinner is almost ready.

"But I was going to take a shower." He goes to the kitchen, sits the baby on the counter, and washes his hands. Li-An watches him.

"Wa-wa."

"Very good! Water. So, what does mommy do all day? Whisper in my ear. You can tell Daddy."

'_ehs deklat no eht enohp ot tnua araL dna yeht deklat tuoba uoy dna ehs thguob wen seohs'_

"Aha! I knew it! I'll fix her. Threepio, you're finally serving a purpose around here."

"Oh, why, thank you, sir. I'm glad to be of service." As he walks away, he thinks for a moment. "I think I was just insulted."

Anakin takes the baby and walks into the family dining room. Isabel kisses him as she sets a small dish on the highchair tray for the baby.

"Dinner is ready. Have a seat, sweetie."

Anakin grabs some wine from the cabinet and caries it to the table.

"Where's Leia?" He lets Li-An back on the floor to play with the dog.

"She and Han went to the holoplex."

"Oh, that's convenient. He takes my daughter to a dark secluded place to make out."

"Why do you always think Han has sex on his mind all the time?"

"Because I know he can't possibly be interested in any film our daughter is taking him to see. I just know it."

"And how do you know that?"

"Trust me…it's what I would do."

"Maybe Han is different."

'Boy, are you naive."

He pours the wine then smells the main course. It is glazed duck with Felucia Mushrooms, roasted Tatooine new potatoes and sautéed green rabe.

"This looks great, 'Bel. You actually find time to cook in the middle of your active day of doing absolutely nothing."

"Keep it up; I'm going to poison your food one day. Don't mess with me."

She takes her seat at the side of the table. He pours her a glass. She stops him. Anakin sets the bottle on the table and gives her a disappointed look. Isabel knows this look too well. It is followed by a pout.

"What? I thought we agreed to wean him."

"He won't be a happy camper. Anakin, it's the only way I can get him to take a nap. He's not ready."

"I say, drink the wine. Let him get tipsy and pass out."

"You are an awful man."

"I gave him fair warning on the day he was born. He gets one year… then it's bye-bye breasts. He's way past the cut-off date."

"You can't do that to a baby."

"He knows the rules."

"There's no absolute cut-off date."

"He's in for a rude awakening."

Anakin has something in his hand. He holds it under the table.

Another member of the family arrives home after being missing from the table for weeks. Luke walks in and grabs a chair at the opposite end of the table from his father.

"Hi, folks, I'm home. Wow, dinner sure smells great." He helps himself from the serving platter. Isabel is happy to see him.

"Hi, Luke. Good you have you home for dinner."

"It's great to be home for dinner. I'm starving."

"You've been dining at the Jade house lately. I thought we lost you."

"Noo…never. This is the best food by far. Hey, Dad._ What up_?"

"Hello, traitor; and when do you get to sit at the head of the table?"

"Mom's not sitting there. Gee, Dad, someone's got to be the man of the house while you're away."

"Do I look invisible?"

"Of course not. I can see you're sitting there. Even if you were invisible, I would still sense you here."

"The Jedi Council actual let you graduate with that knucklehead logic of yours? I'm beginning to think they made a big mistake. And, for your information, she sits where she does because she has to get me things."

Luke whispers to himself as he spoons some potatoes onto his plate.

"Chauvinist."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, nothing."

Luke grins as his father scowls across the table at him. Isabel gets up to get Luke a glass of fruit juice. Luke watches his father handling bits of food under the table."

"Dad! Don't do that! Don't feed him under the table."

"That's the only way he'll eat. Li-An, open up…he comes the star cruiser. That's a good boy! Yes! You're Daddy's little boy. You play your cards right, you may surpass Luke as 'Number One Son.'" He feeds the baby another morsel of food. Li-An opens wide. "…And here comes the Imperial Star Destroyer."

Isabel returns and sets the glass on the table for Luke and kisses him on the forehead. She turns and sees what her husband is doing.

"Anakin, don't feed him under the table."

He mocks them. _'Anakin, don't feed him under the table. Da-ad, don't feed him under the table.'_ Anakin rolls his eyes. "He likes it."

Isabel points to the highchair.

"Put him in the high chair, Anakin."

Anakin grabs the baby then slips him into the highchair. He grumbles as he does this. Li-An promptly grabs the pieces of food from the highchair tray and drops them over the side and onto the floor. Skippy moves out of the way as the chunks of food land on the floor. Isabel clears the tray. Li-An tears at his bib. Isabel removes it as she realizes he has had enough and wishes to roam freely around the room. Anakin looks at is wife with smug 'I told you so' expression on his face.

"I told you. Let him sit on the floor. He's happier there. I know my kids."

"You should, you behave like one."

"Keep it up."

Isabel ignores him and Luke giggles. Anakin gives his _'Number One Son'_ another dirty look. Luke turns to his stepmother.

"You know, I like what you're doing to the house, Mom. The changes are going to be great. I like the idea of a bigger bed in my room instead of the two twins I have in there now."

Anakin coughs when he hears this.

"What do you need a bigger bed for? Are you planning on gaining 500 pounds and live in there the rest of your life?"

Luke thinks for a moment then laughs.

"Dad, you're funny. Of course not."

"Tell your sister when you see her, I need to have a chat with her… that is , of course, if that 'snakes-for-brains' Svengali boyfriend of hers doesn't lose his credits playing Sabacc and winds up making her strip for cash."

"Han's a pretty skilled player, Dad. I doubt it will come to that."

"Disrespectful kids. A family is supposed to sit down at the dinner table together. This isn't a drive-thru. There's a new Skywalker house rule: No dates at dinnertime. Why can't we be like those families in those Earth holovids on the Sci-Fi network? Even primitive societies have standards."

"Dad, those families just don't exist. That's why you only see it on the Sci-Fi network."

"Ok, _'Mr. Wizard' wiseass,_ did you take '_Primitive Outer Space Cultures' _in school?"

"Actually, yes, I did. It was a required course for graduation. I got an "A-Plus."

A third dirty look. Damned kids. Anakin finishes dinner then heads upstairs. Isabel has gone to the kitchen to place the dishes in the dishwasher. She hears her husband heading up the steps.

"Anakin, wait."

"Yap to me when you get up here. I just want to take a shower. .I've had a rough day."

He walks down the hall into the master bedroom and is horrified at what he finds. The work crew has already stripped the room bare.

"'Bel!"

"What's wrong?"

She runs upstairs to find her husband staring into an empty master bedroom.

"What the '_eff' _happened?"

"I told you the room was going to be redecorated."

"I thought by that, you meant hanging new drapes." Where am I going to sleep?"

"We'll be in the new guest room."

"New guest room? Where is that? We've got four."

"Remember my old room when the twins were little?"

"Oh yeah."

"I'll show it to you. Follow me."

"Is it nice or is it a dump like this too?"

"Be quiet."

He follows around the hall near the twins' rooms. She opens the door. The room is smaller but cozy. There are burgundy drapes at the window. The walls are ivory with tastefully placed furniture. His clothes have already been moved from the master bedroom. He pouts for a moment then feels the bed.

"Nice bed…I guess I can deal with it… how long will I have to put up with this insanity?"

"Two weeks."

"Two weeks?" Suddenly he changes his tone. "Ohh, I suppose we could pretend this is an illicit rendezvous and we're sneaking around like wild lovers. Alright…I think I'm going to like this. See, I'm flexible. I can deal with change."

He leans back and crash-lands on the bed. It feels wonderful and the bed linens are new and give off the faint scent of lavender. Her husband amuses Isabel as he spreads himself across the bed. He pats the space beside him, urging her to join him. They gaze at the ceiling together. Anakin reaches for her and takes her hand in his. Isabel lets her shoes drop to the floor then curls up close to her husband.

"Anakin, have you been reading Obi-Wan's 'gentlemen's magazines and watching his adult holovids?"

"They actually have some interesting articles in there…or so I've heard. Which brings up the question, how do you know this?"

"Go take your shower."

That evening, Anakin convinces his wife to try some_ 'adventures'_ in the new 'temporary' bedroom.

Luke is in his room with the baby. Li-An is in his pajamas on one of the twin the beds playing with a toy.

"Li, see what happens when Dad plays his mind tricks on Mom? She forgets she has a little baby. Why did they have to move over here on our side of the floor? He never comes over here. This messes up my plans." He yells and bangs his fist on the wall. "Keep it down in there!"

**Morning -**

The 'Marathon.' has gone on until 7 o'clock in the morning with few breaks in between. Luke leaves a note on their door.

After a shower, the two lovebirds walk into the breakfast room. Luke is already eating. He waits for his father to speak. No_ 'good morning, how are you?' _…nothing.

Anakin takes a seat and opens his morning paper. Without looking up, he finally speaks.

"Good morning. I got your note. The answer is, 'Yes, as long as this is 'my' house, I'll try it in every room in this house if I want to, and there's not a thing you can do about it, wiseass."

Luke looks across the table at his father then continues to eat his cereal.

"Ok. That's fair."

"So, are you going to pack your things and move out in protest?"

"No. Why would I do a crazy thing like that?"

Damn, this kid is good! 'Number One Son' just might hold onto his title after all.

Isabel enters with the baby. Li-An is wearing his bib. He has just been fed. Li-An is a happy Youngling. Anakin wants to say something but he does not wish to start a fight with her today. Last night was amazing. He doesn't want to ruin a good thing. There might be an encore performance tonight.

"Isabel, I have to go out soon."

"Ok, sweetie." She leans over and gives him a kiss.

Luke rolls his eyes.

"Give it a rest, will you?"

Anakin looks at his eldest son.

"Don't mess with me today, you'll lose."

"I'm going to the Jedi Temple. I'll ask Master Yoda, if what you two were up to last night is tantamount to child abuse. You know you left Li-An down here?"

"He won't be scarred."

I'm not referring to him. He slept right thought it. I'm asking for myself."

"Go!"

Luke gets up and leaves. He laughs to himself.

Anakin has to go out too. He is going across town. He has company. Anakin and his 'associates' leave the speeder parked on a quiet tree-lined street. He seems to be taking a long time walking along the path. He starts…then stops. He starts… he walks a few steps…then stops. He looks around, sighs, and then continues. He arrives at a door. He barely gets a chance to press the doorbell when the door swings open.

"Oh! Anakin! You're here! What a nice surprise!"

Palpatine is standing in the door. Anakin looks at him then waits.

"What surprise? You knew I was coming. I called you and told you." He looks behind him then lets out a sigh. "Come on! We don't have all day!"

Palpatine is wearing a dark red smoking jacket and a bright orange ascot tucked inside the collar of a crisp white shirt. His hair is combed to the side. He stands in the door waiting.

"Anakin, please, come, in, come in."

"Hold up a sec, old man."

As the two men wait, footsteps can be heard... Stopping…starting…stopping…starting. Anakin shrugs with an embarrassed smile. Palpatine continues to hold open the door. He is growing impatient and Anakin is becoming annoyed that the old Sith is rushing him. A few passersby stop and stare from across the street. Anakin stares back and shouts at them.

"What are you looking at? Hold onto your walker and move it along!"

Palpatine is growing impatient.

"Anakin, what are you waiting for?"

"Hold on."

There is a sniffing noise. Something approaches the door. Skippy appears and hops across the threshold. He growls and barks at the old man, then immediately hops in Palpatine's favorite chair. The old man coils in fear. He recovers if only to complain.

"Surely he doesn't think he's going to stay in here. That happens to be my favorite chair. Mad dog!"

"He will stay or I go."

The old man sighs. Anakin is still at the door, tapping his foot and looking at his watch. Palpatine is growing impatient.

"Anakin, Please, come inside."

"Wait a sec." He smiles then looks down. Li-An finally appears at the door. Anakin laughs. Here we are! You've never walked that much before, have you? Skippy got here before you did."

The baby whimpers and reaches for Anakin. Palpatine smiles. He leans in close to the baby.

"Li-An! Hello!"

Li-An cries and tries to climb up Anakin's pants leg.

"See what you've done? You've frightened him." He takes Li-An and bounces the Youngling gently in his arms. The old man points.

"He's walking!"

"It took him long enough. He's probably the laziest baby in the galaxy. He's taking his own damned time to do everything. He's still working on his balance…walks like a little drunk doesn't he? Heh-Heh." He smiles at the baby. "Yes, I'm talking about you."

"Anakin, come, I must give you a tour of the place."

"I know what it looks like; I bought it for you. So, you like it?"

"Absolutely! It's lovely. I can invite my friends over for tea."

"You have friends?"

The old sith is insulted.

"We'll not yet… Everyone around here is old."

"You're old. Old and no friends. You're pathetic."

"I have Tomo and Tiny; they visit every now and then during their shift at the nursing home while the patients are asleep."

"I see." Anakin inspects the room as he holds the baby. Skippy is sleeping in the chair. Anakin sees something on the mantelpiece. It's a statue or award of some sort. Li-An reaches for it. Anakin holds the baby's hand away.

"What's this?'

Palpatine is glad Anakin notices this. The old man is excited as he carefully removes the object from its place of honor on the otherwise bare mantel.

"Ah! Yes! Let me show you. I won this at the end of the season at Shady Acres Seniors' Theatre Workshop. It's for Best performance by a New Retiree' in a performance of "The Miracle Worker."

"You were in a show?"

"Yes. What's so odd about that?" The old man is defensive. "I was quite good If I say so myself. I had to practically kill for it. It's a deliciously wicked role. It's a part to die for."

"What? Isn't that about a blind as a bat teacher and her student?"

"I suggested some changes and made the role my own. It's a whole different story."

Anakin finds his version of events to be incredible and suspect to a possible criminal investigation.

"I bet it was. So, you were the only choice they had?"

The former emperor turned -budding senior thespian, is quite proud of himself.

"Well, there was a old lady who wanted the role but she broke her hip in some _unfortunate accident_. I was the only person not in a wheelchair and who could still remember the time of day so I go it and I won! Anakin, I've never won anything. Isn't it _Fantastic_?"

"Yes, peachy."

Palpatine looks at Anakin.

"Is that all you can say? " Just Peachy?" I worked hard for this. The least you could do is to show your old man you support him. What's that expression Luke uses? _'Show me some props_, eh?"

"Well, at least you stayed out of trouble. …and I believe the expression is _'Show me some love.'_ I believe you're thinking of '_give me my props'. _If I hear anything about you tormenting anyone…"

"Why, Anakin, I'm hurt that you would even suggest I have been otherwise." He smiles and claps his hands.

"Well, how is our little Youngling doing?"

"He's just fine. The Jedi Council says he's a genius."

"Why? What has he done?"

"Not a damned thing."

"Well, we're all proud of the child but how do they come to this conclusion if he hasn't done anything?"

"It's what he's capable of doing. Yoda has foreseen it."

He waves his hand as if to dismiss this claim.

"Oh, pish posh! That dyslexic little green monkey! What does he know?"

Anakin almost laughs but he manages to hold it in. He doesn't want to encourage the churlish old man. He quickly changes the subject.

"So, what else are you up to, old man?"

"Oh, I'm taking a cooking class."

"Oh, yeah? How many people did you send to the hospital?"

"Go on with your insults. I'm pretty good. It's better than that retirement home food…mashed this…pureed that…squashed muck. My meals could rival those, dare I say, of our lovely Isabel?"

Those were fighting words to Anakin. The nerve of this old bag of wind…is comparing his culinary experiments to those of his wife. She may test his patience at times but her cooking is superb. She has never disappointed her husband yet. Anakin is intrigued, however, so he indulges the old crackpot.

"What in the Hoth made you decide to take a cooking class?"

"Lorian Nod, that nincompoop. He wanted a senior citizen discount, the cheap bastard. He told me the class was for couples, so he signed us up as life partners. I was going to murder him in his sleep when I found out what he did. However, the class was interesting, so I let him live. Oh, Anakin, I prepared lunch for us. I had no idea the tot was coming with you. I would have whipped something up for him."

"Don't worry about it. We're good."

"But Anakin, you must try it and tell me what you think. Your opinion means so much to me."

"Fine."

Anakin follows the old 'Sith Chef' to the small dining area overlooking the man-made lake where small watercraft is berthed. A cool breeze causes the boats to rock gently as the waves curl up against the hulls.

Anakin sits at the table with the baby on his lap. The old man disappears into the kitchen. Anakin hears the rattling of plates and stainless steel. He leans back in the chair to see what 'Chef Sith' is whipping up. Palpatine is wearing a navy and white striped apron with the name 'Dantius'Inferno' embroidered across the bib section. Anakin squints.

"Where the heck did you get that?"

The old Sith smiles proudly as he stands in the kitchen doorway cradling a salad spinner.

"It's a salad spinner. It was in the goodie bag they gave us on the first day of cooking class. They only gave one per couple but I '_persuaded'_ that idiot Lorian to let me have it since he put my name on that registration application…."

Anakin interrupts the old sith. The old man is on a roll today. Who lit him on fire?

"I'm not talking about that spinner thingy! Where did you get the apron? Geez."

"Oh, this old thing? Luke gave it to me as an early Father's Day gift. He said it's a name of a famous barbecue chef on planet earth. Nice, isn't it? That boy really gets me. On the other hand, that Leia, I'm never sure where she's coming from, Anakin. She gave me a carbon monoxide detector but it doesn't warn me with an alarm or anything. Is there something wrong with her? Why would she give me something that doesn't work?"

"Bring it here; let me take a look at it. I'm sure it must have come with instructions. Leia means well."

"I think she means to kill me, Anakin."

"Oh, cut it out! You're paranoid."

Palpatine sets the salad spinner on the counter, walks over to the credenza in the dining room, and pulls out a box. He hands it to Anakin. The gift-wrap has a grim reaper design printed on it. Anakin purses his lips. He is trying to hold in a laugh that is bursting at the seams to come out of his mouth. Li-An grabs at the paper and wrinkles it. He babbles as he plays with it.

"Yaba yaba yaba..."

Anakin reads the package. There is some fine print that is not legible to the naked eye:

'_Batteries Not Included'_

"Ok…it needs batteries. That's why it's not working."

"What's a battery?"

Anakin reads more fine print:

'_Jabba-the-Hutt Wild Space Exports, Ltd.'_

Anakin realizes Leia must have bought the item on Tatooine at one of those _99 Centime Credit _stores bordering Mos Eisley Spaceport. These shops are famous for selling cheap goods from underdeveloped planets such as Mars and Earth. She was probably traveling with that 'nuff' Han Solo when she should have been home studying. Those stores are popping up all over town on the sandy planet. Anakin hands the device back to the confused old man.

"Put it away for now. It's of no use without the power source."

"Why would she give me something like this? I installed it but the indicator light never came on…Anakin, I could have died in my sleep. What was she thinking?"

Anakin quickly changes the subject.

"So, where's this meal that you've been bragging about?"

"Oh…oh, yes. It's almost ready, Anakin."

Palpatine hurries back into the kitchen. He returns with a pitcher of Felucia lemonade.

"Help yourself. There's plenty more."

"Thanks." Li-An watches as his father pours the liquid into the tall glass. He tries to reach for it. Anakin yells into the kitchen. "Hey, what's in this concoction you whipped up?"

"Lemons, water and 'Sugar-thin'."

"Is it safe?" He sniffs the contents of the glass

Palpatine pops in the doorway again with his hands on his hips. He sees Li-An reaching for the glass.

"Of course it's safe! I'm not going to serve dangerous ingredients to my own family. You need to learn to trust me more, Anakin. I'm insulted that you would question me. It's a natural sweetener, perfectly fine for babies too."

Anakin rolls his eyes. "Thank you." He tastes the lemonade then supports the glass as the baby gulps down the beverage. "Easy, Li, don't down it like Obi-Wan guzzling Caamas from a flask." Anakin takes another sip. "This 'sith' is pretty good."

"I got the recipe online. It's a refreshing drink on a warm day." Palpatine walks in carrying a serving tray. He sets a plate in front of Anakin then a salad bowl. He sets a plate for himself and takes a seat opposite Anakin. He takes his napkin. "Well, _Bone Appettiti!_"

"What?"

"That's a word I learned from Luke. He says he got it from 'The Earthling Regular Guy Book of Useful Phrases.'"

"I'd be interested in seeing that book." He helps himself to a serving of salad. The baby is on his lap trying to grab the plate. "No, Li. Sit still and be a good boy."

"So, how do you like it?"

"Uhm…it's…" He moves Li-An's hand away from the plate.

"Anakin, let me hold the baby while you eat."

"He might cry. I'll be fine."

The old man gets up and reaches for the baby. Anakin hesitates for a moment.

"I'll be careful, Anakin. I promise I won't drop him." He takes Li-An. Anakin keeps a watchful eye on the two. Li-An stares at the man in the chef's apron. Anakin can sense the baby is about to cry but suddenly Li-An breaks into a smile. Anakin continues to eat.

"This is pretty good. What is it?"

"It's Naboo Lake crab on a roll."

"Not bad. You're pretty self sufficient, you old goat."

"And I know how to shop for fruits and vegetables."

"I'm trying to imagine you visiting the supermarket."

"I'm a thrifty shopper, Anakin. There's a special on smoked eopie bacon and, if you have a coupon, you get a dozen of duck eggs free…plus I get my senior citizen discount."

"Well, you go on with your bad self!"

Li-An becomes restless.

"What's wrong with him now? Do all of your kids whine?"

"He wants to get down. Let him go. He'll walk around a bit. You don't have anything dangerous lying around, do you?"

"Of course not. The place is baby-safe."

Li-An wanders around finding things to touch. After lunch, the two men sit on the patio watching the boats sail by. Palpatine notices Li-An has become quiet. The baby is resting his head on an ottoman.

"Anakin, what's he doing? Is he alright?"

"He's fine…"

"Why is he standing like that?"

"He's thinking really hard."

After as few minutes, the old man looks around and sniffs the air.

"What is that smell?"

Anakin pretends not to hear but he knows what it is. He leaves the lounge chair and walks over to the baby.

"Li, it's time for a diaper change."

"That's him?"

"He's a baby, what do you expect? Where can I change him?"

"In the bedroom. Would you like me to change him?"

"No. You look a bit repulsed. I'll do it."

"I don't mind. I'll help."

Anakin hands him the diaper bag and the baby.

"Here's the gear you'll need."

Anakin waits close by and flips through 'Retired Sith' magazine waiting for a response. He is not disappointed when he hears the old man crying out in the next room.

"Oh, heavens, child, what have you eaten in the past 24 hours? …You sure are calm…oh, dear…you're going to need to be dipped or something….ugh!"

Anakin gets up from where he is sitting and walks into the bedroom. The old man is dangling the child by the undershirt. Anakin quickly grabs him.

"I'll take over from here! You're pathetic! My son isn't a Dagobah swamp weed."

"He sure smells like one."

Anakin cleans the baby and puts new clothes on him. Palpatine stands against the wall and watches.

"All done! Did the old man almost drop you? Yes he did. We won't let him hold a baby anytime soon."

"Anakin, I'm sorry. I panicked."

"Sure you did. Listen, we have to go. Li needs to take a nap."

"So soon?"

"Yes. I've got stuff to do. I'll see you next time. Thanks for lunch. I wish you and your new 'life mate' the best." Anakin knows this comment is going to annoy the old geezer.

"For the last time, that senile old goat is not my life mate!"

"Whatever…so, see you later."

"Goodbye, Ani. How about a hug for your old man?"

"Hurry up, I have to go. Skippy, wake up, we're leaving!"

Skippy wakes up, hops down from the comfortable armchair, and follows Anakin to the door. He barks at Palpatine before he leaves. Palpatine hisses like a cat. The dog is about to lunge for the old man's throat when Anakin calls him and Palpatine slams the door.

Home again, home again, here we go now.

They arrive home. Anakin and the baby take a long nap on the hammock in the garden. The house is quiet. Isabel is out with her friends shopping. He has his first employee lunch meeting tomorrow. He needs peace and quiet today.

**Coruscant Corporate Headquarters - Midweek - '_Know Your Employee'_**

Anakin is sitting at his desk. His com lights up. It is Gladys.

"Yes, Gladys?"

"Admiral Motti is here for his meeting with you, Sir."

"He's five minutes early."

"I think he's aware of that, Sir."

"Oh. Ok…give me five minutes."

"Yes, Sir."

Back in Anakin's office, another 'meeting' is taking place. Qui-Gon is sitting on the sofa.

'_So, Ani, where are we going?'_

"Well, Master, Gladys won't let me get out of this fun-fest, so I have to take the Krayt Dragon-face out to lunch."

'What are you going to talk about?'

"How the heck do I know? '_Hey, Monti, congratulations for 30 years of loyal service working for the Empire. How's it going? How are Mrs. Monti and the little three-card Monti's?_' Qui-Gon, this is stressing me out"

'_I thought his name was Motti'_

"It is. Maybe he'll say something stupid and choke on an olive. It'll save me time and I won't have to do any paperwork. Those incident reports were starting to pile up. Whiny babies. '_He choked me…wah,wah,wah.'_"

'_Now, Anakin, let's be professional about this.'_

"Fine. Let's go. I want this to be over as soon as possible." He puts on his jacket and heads out. Admiral Motti stands at attention as soon as he sees the dark lord. Anakin returns a half-hearted salute. Gladys is watching. Anakin manages a forced smile. "Hey, Monti…I mean Admiral Motti. Thank you for being so patient. I apologize for the delay. I had a last minute meeting…uhm…conference call."

Qui-Gon is already laughing as Anakin tries to explain himself. Admiral Motti doesn't seem to be bothered.

"Welcome back, Sir."

"Thank you. Shall we go?"

"Yes, of course."

"Gladys, I should be back real soon."

"I'll see you after lunch, Sir. I'll hold all your calls until later this afternoon."

Anakin knows what this means. He has to stay out with the Admiral until at least 2:30p.m. He's going to have to talk to the officer.

Qui-Gon follows the two men out of the building to a four-star restaurant down the street. The maitre'd greets them and leads the two men to a corner table with a view of the city. It is a perfect spot for a business lunch and far enough from the entrance so Anakin can't make a quick exit. He makes his semi-annual _'note to self'_ to fire Gladys. Of course he never will, but it makes him feel better that he can pretend.

Admiral Motti looks around. The décor is exquisite. There are several other diners in the immediate vicinity. The waiter fills their water glasses.

"Good afternoon, gentlemen. My name is Serge and welcome to Le Petit Jawa. Would you like to see our wine list?"

"Yes, most definitely, please." Anakin is ready to drink today…a lot. He's going to need it if he has to chat with 'barrel o' fun Monti' for two hours. The waiter continues to speak.

"We have some specials today. Our meat specials are Eopie medallions with Felucia Apricot sauce and new Tatooine potatoes, and green beans, Mustafar grilled steak with roasted potatoes and mixed vegetables; our fish special is Kaminoan swordfish with sun dried tomatoes, Rishi Maze lemon rice and sautéed kale, and the fowl is pressed duck with honey and plum sauce over polenta and garlic spinach."

The two men listen then open their menus.

"Thank you. We'll take a look at the menu." Anakin looks across the table at Motti. "Is that okay with you, Mont…Admiral?" He can't get the name 'Monti' out of his head. Anakin has been making fun of the officer for years. Old habits die last. Admiral Motti responds to Anakin's suggestion.

"Yes. Yes, Sir."

Qui-Gon reads over the Admiral's shoulder.

'_Damn, Ani, I know you can afford this, and it's covered by your expense account, but Holy Jedi Sinis! At these prices, you could buy an air speeder and feed a small star system. What sort of racket are they running here? I hope old Mothball is worth it.'_

Anakin is sipping from his water glass when he sees and hears the Force ghost across the table. He begins to cough. Admiral Motti looks up from his menu.

"Are you alright, Sir.?"

"I'm fine. Thanks." He wipes his chin with his napkin then clears his throat. So, Monti…sorry. How's Mrs.…your wife?"

"Oh, I'm in the middle of a divorce." Motti nods with a ridiculous smile on his face. Anakin wonders for a moment if this is a side effect of choking Motti in the boardroom two years ago when Governor Tarkin was discussing the Death Star.

"Oh, sorry."

"It's ok…we're ok…"

The waiter returns. The men order. Anakin suggests a wine. The sommelier arrives with the wine and corks the bottle. Anakin and Motti raise their glasses.

"Congratulations on your thirtieth anniversary with the military, Admiral. Thank you for your service to the new government. Cheers."

"Thank you, Sir. Cheers."

"Uhm, good wine. You know, I have never remembered your first name."

"It's Santino, sir."

"Santino, let's relax ok? We've worked together for what? Nineteen years? Let's enjoy lunch."

"Alright. To nineteen years."

They drink another toast. They have almost emptied the first bottle of wine by the time dinner is served. Qui-Gon is making his way around the room eavesdropping on the other diners. At one table, a man tells his secretary he is breaking up with her. She threatens her boss for half the credits he embezzled from his company. He finally returns to the table. Anakin and Motti finish dinner. They are laughing. A new bottle of wine is open.

"So, she found out about you and 'Blue nun.' Now she wants a divorce?"

"Well, Sly said I had to make a choice. So, I told my wife and she went to her lawyer. Now she's threatening to take the house and the kids."

"Aren't your kids adults now?"

"Yeah but they say it's a matter of principle."

"So, you're in love with this chick?"

"No. I thought I was…I mean …it happened at an odd time, the Empire was in shambles, my wife and I were having some issues but nothing we couldn't work out. Then I met Sly and she somehow convinced me to leave my wife. She was telling me I was in-love with her. Then I started believing it. Oh Anakin, my life is ruined! I don't even love this woman. That voice of hers. God, I don't know why, but I thought it sounded hot at the time. She's a loud moaner. I thought, man, I must be some stud again. Then I realized she's like that all the time. I am so screwed! She won't leave me alone. She calls all hours of the night. She appears at my apartment during the day. The residents complain because she creeps them out."

Motti starts sobbing. Admiral Motti is having a meltdown. They were just laughing a moment ago. Anakin looks around to see who is looking. He is drunk and has no idea what to do. Qui-Gon is giggling. Anakin tells him to be quiet. Qui-Gon whispers to Anakin.

'_Ani, you two are wrecked.'_

"I would put him in a taxi but I can't even get up."

'_Ani, you know what you have to do…'_

"Ewww…noooo. I can't. Why me?"

'_It's the only way, Anakin.'_

"Sith! Fine!" He hates that Qui-Gon is right. He looks across the table at the officer suffering the mental meltdown. He taps him on the shoulder. "Hey, Sal! Sonny, you're crying in your Tiramisu! Let's get out of here. I'm going to help you, you pathetic drunk. Snap out of it before I choke you. Be a man! You let that blue sea hag break you down like this? Let me lend you a hand. I feel kinda bad for you."

"You are? (sniff). Anakin, you're the best Sith commander ever. I love you, man!"

Anakin pays the tab then leaves with Motti in a Taxi. He sobers up enough to deal with what's to come.

As Motti predicted, _'Blues Clueless'_ is stalking outside Motti's hotel apartment. She rushes over to him. Anakin stops her.

"Listen, Blue Dahlia, we need to talk."

After dropping off a sobbing Motti, Anakin makes Sly sit in a cab in front of the office building.

"Hey, Morticia, don't you dare move from that seat or I'll strangle your blue pterodactyl neck."

He goes upstairs to his office. Gladys is waiting beside her desk with her purse on her arm. She is ready to scold him.

"Anakin, Skywalker, what did you do? It's 6 o'clock. Where's the Admiral?"

"He's fine. He'll have a hangover tomorrow but he's fine. I took him home."

"You're drunk."

"Had to get drunk after all I've been through. Don't lecture me."

"Did you have a good time?"

"Yes. It was alright. Here are my expenses." He slaps the receipts down on her desk.

She examines the receipts then files them away for the morning. She smiles then gives him a smooch on the cheek and pats his face.

"Go wash up before you go home to your wife."

"Yes, ma'm."

That evening, Anakin arrives home. He had to drop off 'Devil with the Blue Pallor.' He hits the shower then crashes on the bed. Isabel walks in.

"Why didn't you call to tell me you were going to be late for dinner?"

"Isabel, not tonight. I had a rough day. I saved an officer from marital ruin, I reunited a stalker with the man of her dreams, and I had the longest business lunch ever. I just want to go to sleep now."

"Oh. Ok. I was going to show you my new negligee, but it can wait another time when you're feeling up to it…."

He opens one eye then reaches for her.

"Wait…wait…hold up…I think I can stay awake for a little longer. All I need is two minutes."

"Is that all you've got?"

"I'm full of surprises. I need to be rewarded. Get over here."

**Several Days Later -**

Anakin spends Father's Day morning having breakfast in bed. Later, he joins his children on the terrace at the breakfast table. He opens cards and gifts. Leia sits on his lap as he opens her gift to him.

"So, Daddy, do you like them? They're custom-made."

"They're yellow…and light green. What am I, a bird?"

"You need more light colors, Daddy. " I think yellow is a good color for you."

"Fine. Thanks, sweet pea. Now get off my lap. My leg is falling asleep."

Luke walks over to his father. Anakin looks up at him. Luke smiles back.

"Why are you giving me that look?"

"You're not sitting on my lap."

"Relax, Dad. Happy Father's Day."

"Thanks." Anakin unwraps his gift. "What's this?"

"It's a pulsating chair cushion. You can relax out in the garden, take a nap, and have beautiful dreams. No one will disturb you."

"Oh, thanks, Luke. I can wear my parrot-colored shirts as I sleep in my vibrating chair and get shot at by hunters."

Leia, slaps him on the head with the Father's Day card. Li-An walks in pulling a box on his toy wagon. Anakin hesitates. He blushes. He knows what this is. Li-An drops the handle then walks away to play with the shirt box. Anakin slowly unwraps the gift. Luke and Leia smirk and fold their arms.

Anakin shouts at them.

"Don't judge me!" He looks at the gift. "Isabel, I know you're standing there in the door. You don't have to rub salt in the wound. I got the message loud and clear."

Leia grabs the first part of the gift. She laughs out loud.

"You better start reading this soon, Dad."

"I don't need a book for that." He opens the box to pull out the rest of the gift. "Luke, go set this up. Where's that baby?"

"You're going to have to catch him if you want him to use it."

"I've got months to work on it. Stop riding my ass."

Luke grins.

"Dad, ever consider a vasectomy?"

"Ever consider making your own money?"

Han walks out onto the terrace. Anakin grumbles. It feels like a bad 'This is Your Life.' show from those vintage DVDs Luke found in the basement of the Jedi Archives. The curator always gives Luke stuff to borrow from the time capsules sent from earth. Luke enjoys spending part of his internship in the Archival department. He discovers a lot of cool stuff as he helps to clean up the place.

"Good, morning, Mr. Skywalker. Happy Father's Day. What's that? You have bladder control problems?"

Anakin gives Han a dirty look. He is tempted to toss the 'My First Potty' at the smuggling pirate.

"What's he doing here?"

Leia pinches her father.

"Daddy, Han stopped by to give you a gift. Be nice."

"Why? Han, don't you have a Wookie family to go to?"

"Here's your gift, stud."

"Thanks" He opens the box. It is a racquet. "Thank you, Han."

"I figured, I know you like handball but I thought you might like to join me and Lando and Obi-Wan for a game of racquetball."

"That's very nice of you. Thanks."

Luke looks at his watch.

"Hey, Dad. Aren't we supposed to leave about now? I want to get back early. Mara and I are going to the movies."

Anakin gets up. "Oh, you're right. We have to drop your mom off at her dad's house first."

That afternoon Anakin, Luke and Leia head across town. Han decides to pass on the 'invite.' One Sith in a day is more than he can take. They pick up 'Old Sithmaker' from the retirement community and take him out to brunch. Palpatine is genuinely touched.

"Kids, this is the best Father's Day ever."

"Compared to what?"

"Well…seeing I've been deprived all these years…"

Anakin folds his arms across his chest. He had to bribe his kids to join him for brunch with the old goat.

"Don't start old man. We had to vote on this. You almost lost."

Leia slides a tiny package across the table towards the old man.

"Oh, this is for you. Daddy said you needed these."

"Oh, thank you, Leia." He unwraps the package. Two batteries roll across the table. Luke catches them for him.

"It's part two of your Father's Day gift."

"Oh, yes! They're for my carbon monoxide detector. Now I won't die in my sleep."

Leia is less than enthusiastic.

"Dumb luck, huh?"

"Let me give you a big hug, Leia."

"No! I'm allergic."

"Oh? So where's the little one?"

Anakin looks across the table at the old buzzard.

"He's with his mother today."

"Oh, I see. She's won't reconsider meeting with me so I can make amends, will she?"

"I don't think so. You pretty much screwed things up with her. It'll be a cold day on Mustafar before she even thinks of forgiving you."

"So, what else is going on? Any news?"

Anakin, Leia, and Luke each respond abruptly.

"Nope."

"No."

"…Can't say there is."

"Oh. Well, I have good news. Sly has agreed to come back tome …I mean…Not officially…not altogether…we still have some matters to work out. I can't stay too long. I'm meeting her at the Coruscant Municipal Botanical Gardens. She says the retirement community depresses her."

Leia responds.

"Take her to the carnivorous plant exhibit. That's always a big hit with couples trying to resolve their relationship problems."

"Anyway, I have your father to thank for reuniting us. It was so nice to see her again."

Leia rolls her eyes. Anakin shrugs and gives his daughter a dumb look. After hearing about the reunion of the Sith and his blue moaning corpse bride, Anakin, Luke and Leia drop the old man off at the botanical gardens . They return home. Luke changes his clothes and heads uptown to see Mara. Leia and Han go to the concert hall…

…and Anakin, Li-An, and Skippy curl up close to Isabel on the bed of the newly redecorated master bedroom. The workers were able to get the room done in one week. Isabel had heard enough of Anakin's daily complaining. Anakin and everyone on the bed are talking to Skywalker baby number four. It turns out to be a great Father's Day after all.

_To be continued… 'Why Me?'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	104. Chapter 104 Why Me?

_Chapter 104_

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'_Why Me?'_

'_Training Days' _

'_If A Tree Falls …' _

'_One Thousand Herds Of Elephants Are Standing On My Foot' _

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The _'Battle of the Whills' _continues with potty training.

Li-An Skywalker proves to be a formidable opponent for the Dark Lord. He is not making the task the _'Piece of Cake' _as Anakin predicted it would be. _'Princess Big Mouth'_ and _'Number One Son'_ watch with amusement as their father chases the elusive peeing baby around the house. The woman of the house refuses to get involved.

Isabel believes, if she is going to be inconvenience by morning sickness, occasional swollen feet, loose-fitting clothes and a protruding belly button, it's only fair that Anakin should have to handle a toddler on the move.

Although Li-An is much too young to join his father in the daily father and son ritual of the 'Draining O' the Pipes', he is at an age when he can start using the potty chair, or at least recognizing it's purpose. That's what the book Anakin got at the baby Jedi 'Daddy and Me' class says. For now, Li-An is having no part in this _'sith on the potty'_ game. Instead, he finds it easier to step out of his Ewok diapers and hands the wet object to his father.

Isabel is in her boudoir relaxing on her ivory velour chaise chatting on the phone. The door is open. She sees her 'little one' passing by wearing only a t-shirt and his tiny pink bottom exposed._ 'Daddy Day Care'_ is in hot pursuit, holding a new diaper and feeling defeat. Li-An sees this 'chase' as a game and manages to evade the tired, dark lord of the 'three and a half Siths.' Isabel assists her beleaguered husband. She manages to do this while on the phone with her friend Lara.

"He went that way." Without looking at him, she points from her chaise. Anakin gives his wife an icy stare. He mimics her as he follows the baby down the hall.

"'_He went that way.'_ Thanks, you're a load of help." He mutters to himself as she laughs at him behind his back to her friends. The whole family is a big pain in the ass with their horrid behavior towards him. Anakin has never been happier. His life could have been a lot worse.

Li-An runs down the hall as the shadow of the dark lord follows. Something else stops the toddler in his tracks. It is a force of intergalactic proportions. Li-An looks up as the hallowed figure speaks.

'_And where may I ask are you going?'_

Li-An looks up and is quiet for a moment. Suddenly he giggles with delight.

"Kai-Gong! Hahaha!'

'_I can't save you now. The big bad sith is coming after you.'_

Qui-Gon grins as Anakin walks over to the runaway toddler. The frustrated father is not amused. The diaper with the images of frolicking Ewoks dangles from his hand.

"Li, come on, Daddy has things to do. Oh, right, look who you run to...ghostly godfather. Master, if you're going to hang around my house, the least you could do is support me as a parent."

'_I am! I watch the little tyke. Right, Jinni?'_

'Kai-Gong, play!'

'_Not now, your father's in a pissy mood.'_

"I'm not…in a…pissy mood. Li, come over here and step into this diaper. You can't run around half naked all day, you'll catch a cold."

'_Ani, who catches a cold because their bum is exposed? He's in the house. It's a beautiful day. I've witnessed you on occasion…'_

"You're not helping."

'_Oh, right, and what's this? Month three of 'Potty time' with Ani? I have to give you credit for being tenacious in your efforts.'_

"You don't understand. I'm under the gun. I have to get this accomplished."

'_Oh, yeah, that tyrant Isabel is cracking down…yeehaw!'_

Qui-Gon makes a cracking whip sound. Anakin rolls his eyes.

"I see you two are on the friendship ghost train again."

'_We have to make the most of our time together, Ani. We only get to chat when she's knocked up. Once you end your baby-making marathon, she'll never see me again. She's an interesting chick to talk to, and funny as hell! You should talk to her sometimes when you're not jumping her bones.'_

"Yes, I hear you two laughing behind my back…And, for your information, I talk to my wife. She asks me how my day is and I tell her. She's a good listener. We talk plenty."

'_Oh, right. I've heard those conversations. The woman is a saint for staying with you.'_

"She has never been so privileged. She's living in the presence of greatness."

'_Yeah…a great big pain in the axis. Seriously, Ani, why do you still give her a tough time?'_

"She can take it. She knows I'm joking with her."

'_Seems to me you're still mad at her for leaving all those years ago.'_

"We've worked that out…I know it was a big misunderstanding."

'_It was mostly your fault.'_

"I know, but she could have come back to me."

'_You scared her back then, Anakin. You didn't make her feel there was an opening to come back to you, so she stayed away.'_

"I know I was angry back then, but we're good now. I promise always to be there for her. Why are we talking about this? What did she say to you?"

'_She worries a lot.'_

"She knows she can talk to me. Why is she talking to you? She's bringing up old history?"

'_She isn't but I can tell when things bother her.'_

"Well, let me worry about that. She should be talking to me. Now, I'm pissed off…"

He stops and looks around as if he is missing something. His eyes widen in horror as he senses something is about to happen. He spins around towards the staircase so fast; a 'whooshing' sound can be heard. With quick reflexes, Anakin scoops up the baby by his shirt just as Li-An is about to take a spill down the flight of stairs. Anakin's heart pounds so fast, he can feel it rising in his chest. Li-An calmly hangs from his father's grip.

"Li-An! You scared me! Let's get you into this diaper…"

Just as he is about to cover his child's bare bottom, a distressed call comes from the boudoir.

"Anakin!"

Her husband quickly goes to the room. The telephone is on the floor as he sees Isabel standing in a panic.

"What is it, Bel?" He knows what it is. Suddenly she relaxes and runs her fingers through her hair. She smiles nervously as her husband stands frozen in the doorway. Li-An is safely in his arms.

"Nothing. I'm all right. I just had a bad feeling for a minute. Why is he still in his shirt without a diaper?"

"Oh, right…He's just airing out the _'boys.'_ He smiles nervously and kisses the baby and playfully fans Li-An's pink bum with the diaper. "…_Got to air out sometimes, Mum.' _Li-An, who's the daddy?"

Li-An hugs Anakin.

"Dad-dee, play."

"Come on,_ 'Number One Toddler.'_ Let's practice sitting on the potty." Anakin smiles once more then starts back out the door. Someone is speaking from the phone on the floor.

'_Isabel? Hello? Hello?'_

Anakin calls back to his wife.

"Aren't you going to get that?"

Isabel is wondering what has come over her. She finally looks down and reaches for the phone.

"Hi… Lara?"

'_Isabel, is everything alright?'_

She seems distracted. "Uhm…I'm fine. Sorry…I must have been dreaming. So, tell me about your vacation. I've never been to the Felucia Rainforest. I hope you brought lots of insect repellant…"

She tries to make a joke, but Isabel is still thinking about the uneasy feeling she had moments earlier. Anakin is walking down the hall. He chats to Li-An.

"Yikes, that was a close one, Li, don't you ever do that again. You scared daddy. You scared your mother…And that coward Qui-Gon disappears on us at the first sign of trouble. My shirt feels somewhat warm all of a sudden,…You know, I don't think this potty ordeal is working out, do you? Let's hit the shower."

Anakin and Li-An head for the master bedroom and take a shower.

Qui-Gon is sitting in the window keeping Isabel company. He remembers to speak to her first to ask permission to appear. Those are the rules that Anakin set the first time the two met before Li-An was born.

'_Isabel, mind if I pay you a visit?'_

"Sure, Qui-Gon."

The specter of the Jedi Master appears before her. He greets Isabel with a soft reassuring smile as he sits in the beautifully upholstered Queen Jamilla armchair. The 'Force Ghost' loves trying out new furniture. The room is tastefully decorated and full of light. It's so inviting, he hangs out in the room even when she is not there. This is a lush contrast to Anakin's dark leather furniture in his office and study.

Leia has an idea one day to put a Yavin pineapple plant in his office and a Felucia cherry tree on his desk to brighten things up. Anakin didn't want any plants but Gladys volunteers to water them. Leia decides to place two additional plants in his study at home.

Anakin tell his daughter, 'If you put them here, they will die." Leia looks at her father as she unwraps the miniature tree with the pink blossoms. She sets it in the middle of his desk. She slides his nameplate over. Anakin hates it when the women in his family start moving stuff around in his only 'refuge' from disobedient children, annoying droids, and nagging wife.

"Don't move my nameplate."

"This is your study; you can't remember your own name?" Leia flashes a sarcastic grin.

"It was a gift. It's for visitors…anyway, and leave my crap alone! Go away! Don't touch stuff. Go do your homework!" He waves his hand at her.

"You're getting plant-life in this room and that's that!"

"The plant will die; don't count on it getting water from me."

"It's self-watering. Shut up."

His daughter leaves him alone in his fortress of solitude.

"Don't slam my …" Bang! The door slams shut. "…Door. Evil kids. You need a major attitude adjustment, young lady!"

Anakin looks around at his 'Sith Greenhouse' and pouts.

A week passes. He has not moved the plant. He is curious, however. The tiny pink leaves are not as vibrant and plucky. In fact, they appear a bit listless. He circles his desk and keeps his eyes on the little tree as if it might attack or something. He has his finger on the 'trigger' of his lightsaber just in case. One false move and he'll turn the dwarf tree into mulch. These days, you need to watch out for everything. Even the most innocuous object like a plant or this tiny Mutant Ninja Cherry tree could attack at any moment. He backs out of his study and goes to the kitchen. The object he needs is within reach. Anakin grabs the water pitcher from the counter. Good, it's full.

Luke is sitting at the counter reading 'Young Jedi Knight Quarterly' between mouthfuls of his favorite cold cereal. He sees his father take the pitcher.

"Hey! I was going to use that!"

"Going to? Looks as if you're busy stuffing your face to me."

"Where are you going with that?"

"None of your business. You remember the rules, don't you?"

Luke rolls his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. I know. _'My house!'_ You've got issues, Dad."

"So? If you kept your nose in that _'issue'_ of JQ, you won't have to worry about me. And stop mocking me. Obi-Wan never told you how powerful I am."

"He told me enough. He told me you wiped out the Trade Federation with one swipe of your light saber."

"I was a union negotiator."

"Yeah, right. Some negotiator you were. We all know how well that turned out, don't we?"

"You try dealing with unreasonable Neimoidians; see how far you get, Jedi honor roll graduate."

Anakin leaves the kitchen with the water pitcher. He returns to his study. The dark lord speaks aloud as he studies the living thing on his desk.

"I don't think Leia knows what she's talking about. This thing needs watering." He examines the tree more carefully before making a decision. "Okay, little 'grasshopper! Here goes nothing!" He waters the little tree.

There is immediate improvement. Suddenly the leaves unfurl and the soft pink color returns. Now Anakin can relax knowing he has saved a tree. He can watch pod racing on the plasma without one moment of guilt.

The preliminary phase is going on. He does not want to sit through that portion of the event. It's so predictable. He channel surfs to kill some time. Anakin stops when something different catches his interest. He slowly places the remote on the desk. He is engrossed in this new program. The host is a peculiar little fellow. Anakin doesn't know if he is annoyed or amused by the man's thick Sullustan accent or his lack of command of his second language.

Nien Nunb, a specialist in the ancient art of Sullust and Felucia tree cultivation, appears on the screen surrounded by hundreds of his elaborate creations. He is cheerful and enthusiastic with an infectious laugh. Anakin never has patience for those ridiculous infomercials but this one captures his interest. The spokes-alien is a large-jowled, mouse-eared humanoid with large, round eyes. The bizarre looking man butchers the language like no other alien, except for, maybe, Jar-Jar. Actually, Jar-Jar is better. Anakin is certain of it now. Jar-Jar is a regular_ Henry Higgins_ compared to this character.

Anakin sits back in his leather chair at his desk and listens:

'_Who want to discober the step by step seeqwets many Feyusha and Sawyust use to qui-ate Wooyd Cquass boo wibbon winning twees wit voory yit-awe effuut? Many peopoe say, 'Nien, I yike twees but me no hab gween fumb.' I say, Yoo no habe to habe gween fumb. Any Sit can do it!_

_When I weetiwed fwom Webow Ayeayeance fighting Eebow Empyah, I wanted hobby to fuh my time. Wayzing Bonsai twee did dah twick!_

_Yoo can make Feyusha fwom any ting. Yoo can eben make cquassic twee fwom weed. Yeah, I say it! Weed! Milkweed, duckweed, dandeeyion weed…If yoo can pwant it, it can gwoh. Yoo buy my bideo, yoo gawanteed success! Awe yoo hab to do is fahyo my kwik e-z guide. But dat not awe! Wit my e-z to weed guide, yoo get dah twee, dah fee dee-bee-dee, dah Feyusha ohganic soil, aincent autcentic Sawyushan pohsayyan pwanter and my new e-z to weed book, 'Dah Peesful Pwanet.' Nomayee a fiddy cwedit bayue, but when you buy awe my sit, it fwee! Fohoax, diz no mambo jambo! Ebbysing I tay yoo is awe s'pwain in my new book numba fwee-foddy nine on dah Cowooscant Times Best Sahyer yist, 'Feyusha Twees and Yeeves'_

'_Dis new book gibts yoo mani tips on cwhipping and pwooning yoah bootifuh Mutant Ninja Bonsai._

_How much yoo tink dis awe cost? Wan hunit fiddy cwedit? Wan hunit twanny cwedit? No! _

_Ninedee cwedit? No way hoseh! _

_Yoo get all dis foh dah amazing pwice of fwee e-z instawments of 50 cwedits each! _

_Yoo say, Nien! Dat big bawgain! How yoo sell so cheep? Jawa labor! Jawa woke berry cheep! So, awe yoo need is dah fwee payments and we sip dyewekyee to yaw dohah. Awe yoo need to do foh yaw new Feyusha is fwess wuda and sum yoving cayaw. _

_Yoo caw now! Opahwaitah awe standing by. Yoo caw now! Kawabonsai!'_

Now, Anakin Skywalker is not easily impressed by much but this infomercial certainly got his Sith digits dialing as he pulls out his Sith MasterCard Black with the unlimited credit line.

The operator thanks him for his order; and just for being the sixth caller, he receives a bonus gift of a set of six Ginsu shaak steak knives.

Anakin completes his order just in time to switch back to the pod-racing event, for the finals.

This occurred quite some time ago. When Leia walked pass her father's study early one afternoon, she sees him tending to his plants. He senses her near and says something.

"Ok, Miss know-it-all, for your information, these plants require water. What sort of idiot do you think I am?"

"Well, Daddy, I stand corrected. I was wrong."

"You sure were! You listen to me next time. I know more than you think."

"Yes, Daddy."

When Leia leaves his study, she heads for the kitchen where she finds her brother.

"What's he doing in there?"

"He's feeding his plants."

"It worked. Cool!"

"It sure did. He's started his own little garden. You should see him back there talking to his plants."

"Leia, you think he'll start doing the laundry if we tell him his new clothes are permanent press and never need washing? We could get him to do our laundry!"

"Too risky. He might start washing darks with lights and permanent press with delicates. No, Luke."

Back to the present…

Qui-Gon is visiting with his good friend Isabel. He smiles as he looks around the room of her elegant boudoir.

'_Isabel, I have to hand it to you, you are a woman of impeccable taste and style. This room is beautiful.'_

"Why, thank you, Qui-Gon."

'_Anakin is a lucky man. He needs to appreciate you more.'_

"Oh, he does."

'_You're too easy on him.'_

"Not always."

'_Now I know why he fell in love with you. You know, Isabel, if I was forty years younger, and not dead, I would have asked you out.'_

"_Oh, Qui-Gon, how sweet but if I met you back then, I would have been just two years old."_

'_Isabel, work with me here! Sure, I know I'm a ghost and a bit of a hippie Jedi but forget about all that. What do you think?_ _I could really lay on the charm in my day. I could turn a girl on using the Force. We ghosts have preternatural talent. I could have laid a couple of lines on you._ '_Tonight's the one night I turn to flesh so... what d'ya say to a wee bit o' skelpin', eh?' _

"You mean you could _'romance' _the living?"

'_Oh, sure… Not you of course, you're married now. But we could have made a nice pair if you were sixteen years older then.'_

"Really? You mean I could have been the wife of a Jedi?"

'_Yes, you would…of course; I couldn't afford you the life Anakin has made for you.'_

"But I would only marry for love. I don't care how much you money you made."

'_Why, Isabel, I'm flattered. You would have given up a life of privilege and luxury to marry a cash-strapped Jedi Knight?'_

"I never said that. I would have to scale down, of course, but you're the one taking a vow of poverty. I still need to look good. Give you a little boost when you return home. I could go to work. I'm not lazy."

'_Oh, thanks a lot. So now you want to make me look bad, eh?'_

"No. Not at all. If Anakin was still a Jedi, I would go back to work Really Hey, you guys need some sort of compensation for getting the crap kicked out of you and for confronting crazed aliens."

'_In other words, you would never marry a broke Jedi? I can respect that. You need your shoes and your hot little outfits …That 'boost' part sounds intriguing….Ooohh, what a woman.…so, how's he doing?'_

"He's coming along ok. He gets a little agitated at times but I can usually calm him down."

'_He listens to you. Even when you think he's giving you a hard time, he is listening. He truly cares what you think. Why, just yesterday, he was telling me how well you were handling the situation with 'Old Grand Dad''_

"Who? Oh, him…"

'_He agrees with you completely; that's why it took him so long to give the old geezer the retirement condo…'_

"Excuse me? …The what?'

'_The old geezer.'_

"No…not that…what did you say after that?"

'_Uhm…Ooooh…oops! Sorry'_

The Force Ghost changes gears. _'So…How do you feel about another Youngling in the house…Have any names picked out yet?'_

The Jedi Master is getting nervous. He tries feverishly to change the topic. Isabel sits up in the chaise. The Jedi's image begins to drift out of view.

"Are you fading out on me?"

'Oh…it happens sometimes…I'll be back...later…when transmission is better…fading fast…got to go.'

The specter of the Jedi Master fades then disappears altogether. Isabel is not pleased as the Jedi Master 'masterfully' makes a convenient 'exit stage left.' She picks up her phone and dials.

"You won't believe what I just found out…"

Meanwhile, Anakin is in hot pursuit of a diaperless toddler downstairs. He makes a pit stop in the kitchen. He is holding a diaper in one hand and a cup of toddler blue milk yogurt in the other as a lure to get Li-An to come over to him.

"Li, get over here."

"No!"

Anakin is interrupted by Qui-Gon.

'_Ani, we have to talk…sith is about to hit the fan.'_

"Why? My wife pissed off because you're hitting on her?"

Li-An waves to his father. "Bye-Bye."

"Bye-Bye, Baby." Anakin is distracted by what his former master is saying. "Did you sexually harass my wife?"

'_No…that wasn't so bad…of course I didn't harass her…it's something else that she obviously didn't know about…'_

As the ghostly Jedi Master tries to explain, Anakin hears the voice of his sweet wife calling to him.

"Anakin!"

"Master, what did you say?...Oh no …you told!"

'Not exactly…Okay, fine! I told'

"What were you thinking?"

'I don't know, we were just chatting…don't put this on me, I'm not the one keeping secrets. Besides, I thought you broke the news to her already….Hey, I'm sorry…kill me!'

Anakin scratches his head, worrying about how to explain this to his wife.

"Oh, man…" When he scratches his head, he forgets he has the yogurt and it spills on his shirt. His wife calls him again.

"Anakin?"

It is soft and sweet as always but she could be using this as a tactic to get him upstairs to give him and earful of 'what-for' and lecture him. He pouts as he looks at the ghost.

"See what you did? She's never going to let me hear the end of this. Oh, man! I was just about to get this diaper…" He looks around. "Oh crap! Li-An? Where is that baby?"

Li-An has darted away. Anakin starts to run after the toddler but his wife is summoning him upstairs.

'You want me to find him while you go upstairs to your_ boss_?'

"Oh be quiet. Just keep an eye on my son."

'Uhm, Ani, you might want to change your shirt…'

"Why?" He looks down. The yogurt is in his hair and on his shirt. Qui-Gon points.

'That's going to leave a stain.'

"Gee, thanks a lot."

The doorbell rings.

Li-An runs to the garden. He sees someone climbing over the hedges. The tall figure stumbles over the hedge then brushes a long green vine off his shoulder. He straightens his shirt sleeves then looks down at the tot and blocks his path. Li-An tries to get around him but is unsuccessful. He looks up at the visitor and smiles.

Anakin is upstairs. He pulls the stained shirt over his head as he walks in to 'chat' with the 'Missus'. Isabel hangs up the phone and turns towards her husband.

"What happened to you?"

"Accident. You called?"

"Oh, yes…I wanted to ask you about…"

"I know, I know…you want to rake me over the Mustafar coals about the condo."

"What condo?"

"The condo I got for the old man…Isn't that why you called me?"

"No. Go get that magazine for me on the table near the window."

"You called me up here for that?"

"Oh, how is the potty training going?"

"Ok…I…oh crap!"

"You had better get a move on. How are you going to take care of the baby when you're up here pacing the halls."

"You called me to pass you an 'effing' fashion magazine!"

"You better be grateful I didn't call you in here for something else but I'm going to let it go…and watch your language; I don't want our next baby to be born with a gutter mouth. What's the deal with the shirt?"

"I was about to change it. "

"You had better find my child downstairs instead of worrying about yourself."

"Oh, sith! I'll be right back!"

Anakin senses an unwelcome presence in his home. He tosses his soiled shirt on the table in Isabel's room. Isabel is horrified.

"Hey, get that shirt out of here!"

"Don't start with me, woman."

He stubs his toe on the door and hobbles down the stairs. "Ouch..ouch…ouch!"

Anakin arrives in the garden to confront the scruffy intruder who has his small child. The intruder looks up as he holds the child firmly in his grimy clutches. Li-An does not appear to be afraid. The intruder has been holding the child by the hands and swings him between his legs. Li-An is enjoying it. The intruder places the child on the ground. Li-An points to the home invader.

"Nuff!"

Anakin stares without cracking the slightest smile but the intruder speaks.

"Hey, Mr. V, how's it going?" He greets Anakin with that cocky two-finger salute.

Just what a Sith needs to see this early in the day, a scruffy Han Solo breaking and entering his home. Too bad he doesn't have a trapped door filled with carbonite at the ready. There's some city ordinance forbidding carbonite home installations or some nonsense like that. He pays taxes! He should be able to build whatever he wants on his property. If he could just have one vat to create a carbonite-covered Han Solo, he would be a happy man. Damned those zoning laws!

"Don't you believe in ringing the doorbell?"

"No one was answering then I saw the little tyke running around alone in the garden. Are you getting ready for a taping of 'Coruscant COPS?'"

"Wha? "

"Well, your kid here isn't wearing a diaper. You show up without a shirt or shoes, your hair in disarray… I'm waiting to hear the sirens of a couple of police speeders. For a moment I thought I was in the Coruscant Trailer Park outside of Coco Town."

"Does my house look like a trailer to you? Come here, Li. Don't get too close to him, you might catch Wookie fleas."

Anakin picks up Li-An.

"Calm down, Sir. I just stopped by to pick up your daughter. You might want to put something on your foot. That toe gash looks nasty…"

Anakin is thinking, perhaps it would pay to be thrown to the ground and handcuffed for assaulting that smart-mouthed, cradle-robbing, snake phobic, hedgehopping, wookie-smelling, sabacc playing, Ritz Cracker eating pirate!

"Don't you worry about my toe. Can't you find a girlfriend who's actually out of school and has a job? My daughter doesn't get her inheritance yet so you're wasting your time here."

"Mr. Skywalker, I'm not after your daughter's money."

"Oh, yeah, I heard about you winning that celebrity sabacc jackpot. What qualifies you as a celebrity anyway?"

"I received the Medal of Honor for destroying an Imperial ship. I'm a war hero."

"That was my ship, you idiot! It was in the Imperial hangar for a month for repairs after you disabled it! You were no hero that day at the Imperial headquarters. I still get ringing in the ears from that incident. That reminds me, I need to take my medicine."

"Ever think that the telephone is ringing? Anyway, you didn't have to dip me in carbonite."

"Can't you take a joke? You're too sensitive, Solo. Anyway, it was never proven. You big baby."

"Daddy, what are you up to?" Leia stands behind her father with her arms folded across her chest.

"Oh, nothing, sweet pea. Han and I are just chatting about old times. The Happy Days"

Han stares in disbelief as the dark lord.

"Old times?...Happy Days? Mr.V, that was only three years ago."

"Don't make me choke you."

"You talk like that in front of your kids?"

Leia sees her father's bloody toe.

"Daddy! You're tracking blood all over the house!"

"Thanks for caring."

"And why doesn't Li have a diaper?"

"I'm taking care of it!"

"Daddy, put some slippers on your feet. We have white carpet in the living room. We'll have to call the service to get the stains out."

"I hope my foot stops bleeding soon so I don't worry anyone. I know how important that carpet is to everyone."

Anakin carries the baby back inside. Han whispers to Leia.

"Leia, I didn't know he was on medication for that spinout a few of years ago."

She takes Han aside and whispers.

"Sugar tablets. His doctor say's he's fine. My father can pile on the drama sometimes."

"What a con artist!"

Qui-Gon has been keeping quiet all this time. He chuckles when he hears this revelation. Leia turns to him wagging her finger in a threatening manner. Han doesn't know to whom she is speaking right now.

"And don't you dare tell him you cackling Kowakian monkey-lizard."

'_Now, Leia, was that necessary?'_

Han looks around.

"Leia, are you talking to one of your father's friend's again? Please don't do that when we go out."

'_Where are you going, Leia?'_

"None of your business, Qui-Gon."

Han interrupts again.

"Leia, what's happening?"

She holds up her hand for Han to keep quiet. Leia is silent for a moment as she stares across the garden at one of the lemon tree plants. It's as if she is facing off with someone.

"Fine. If you say one thing to my father, I'll never speak to you again. I mean it this time."

Han can tell she means business to whomever she is speaking. There is another moment of silence. Finally, she speaks to Han.

"Come on, Han, let's go."

"Mind telling me what's going on?"

"Trust me, you don't want to know."

"Can I decide that for myself?"

"No. Let's get out of here."

There was a time when Leia was much younger where she and the Jedi spirit did not speak. This was harder on Qui-Gon than it was on Leia. He had betrayed her trust once. He vowed never to do it again. He adores Leia. He has always been there for her during the dark times when she was just getting to know her father. The twins have always been his lifeline to Anakin. He has never let them down and he has always been around to watch over Anakin when he was a struggling young father. Being at one with the Force was not always a joy. It could be lonely. Qui-Gon yearned to be with the living. It kept his life-force going. He is grateful for Isabel too. She is the driving force to keep Anakin from the Dark Side. One day Leia and her brother will leave the security of the Skywalker home. He will need her more than ever when that time comes.

Now it is time to be happy with the ones you love.

Leia and Han arrive at the holoplex. The cinema is almost full except for a few scattered rows that remain peculiarly empty for some reason. Leia and Han sit in the middle. Leia rests her head on his shoulder. Suddenly, somewhere directly behind them Leia can hear loud boisterous laughter.

'Ahahahahahaha!'

Leia tries with all her might not to turn around to see who it is. She already knows. It is distracting while watching a movie. She shifts position in her seat. The laughter continues.

'Hahahaha hahahahaha! Hey, Mace get in here, you've got to watch this holofilm. It's a hoot!'

The specter of Jedi Master Mace Windu appears.

'_What crap is this? I'm in the middle of watching a good film about these two hit men working for this crime boss…' _He stares at the screen where Qui-Gon, Han, and Leia are._ 'What the 'eff is she saying? What the 'eff' is 'Chicka, chicka, chickabee. T'ee an me an t'ee an me?'_

'_It must be some Klingon or Bocce or some sith romance language.'_

'_Who the 'eff' is going to romance her with that jibber-jabber?'_

Qui-Gon and Mace begin repeating the dialogue in the film. The few Jedi sitting in the audience who can see and hear the two ghosts begin shushing them.

"Shhhh"

Mace responds with the dialogue from the film.

'_Ressa, ressa, ressa me, mofo kicka you assabe. Dona be shutupabe. Hahaha! This sith is effing hilarious!'_

Qui-Gon sees a man using a cell phone. He force tosses popcorn. The man turns and gives Han and Leia a dirty look. Qui-Gon starts imitating the actress on the screen.

'_Trouble go away at nigh', an' Nell caw Mi'i - an' caw outside…Chicka, chicka, chickabee.'_

Nell an' Mi'i - ye', Nell an' Mi'i - like t'ee in the way! Caw ye' hear me naw? _Chicka boom-chickaboom!'_

At this point Leia begins to giggle. She cannot stop, even in the most serious pivotal moment of the film. Han stares at her then whispers.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes. Hahahaha…I'm sorry… This film is breaking my heart. Hahahahaha!" She tries to bury her face in Han's chest. Qui-Gon and Mace are still talking.

'_Qui-Gon, Yoda should be here. He understands these foreign films...'_

At the end of the film, Leia remembers she and Han paid for a double feature. She turns to stare at the two Force ghosts who sit behind them looking angelic. She gives them a warning.

"Can you two be quiet during the next feature?"

'_What did we do?'_

"I've got my eyes on you…you too, Mace."

'_Leia, you need to chill out. You don't want your father to find out your 'old nerfherder' is making out with you during the entire film.'_

"For the last time, he's not a nerfherder."

'_Think of me and Qui-Gon as your chaperones.'_

"I'd rather not."

'Ask your boyfriend if he's having a good time.'

"No."

Leia pouts and folds her arms as she decides to ignore them. The second feature starts. Qui-Gon and Mace manage to keep their comments at a minimum. They do make remarks about the two leading actresses in the film. Leia hears a disturbance behind her. Someone yells at the ghosts to be quiet. Leia turns her head. She is really annoyed now. Ki-Adi Mundi appears. He is standing. Even though they are ghosts, the other Jedi in the theatre cannot enjoy the film with the blue ghostly haze billowing in front of the screen. Someone yells.

"Will you sit the _'eff' _down! Your two-brained head is in the way!"

'_Oh, sorry.'_

Ki-Adi turns to see who is yelling at him. It is Kyp, Kyle and their dates. Leia turns then sinks in her seat.

"Why me?"

It is too late. Kyp sees her.

"Leia? What are you doing here? Hey, Han! Yo, it's us!" Kyle nudges Kyp to be quiet.

"Shh!"

"Leia and Han are here. Let's go sit near them."

Kyp Durron, Kyle Katarn, Rocca Tachi, and Sena Shan shuffle down the aisle and sit behind Leia and Han. The three Force ghosts are a few seats away on the same row. Kyp leans over Han's seat between the couple.

"Hey, bro, how's it going? This is supposed to be a good film."

Han barely turns his head.

"That's the word on the street but I guess I'll never know unless you shut up."

"Oh, right. Sorry."

Ki-Adi leans over to Mace as they watch the film.

'_Why did she put those books in the shopping bag? Why did he shoot her? It was only a shopping bag full of books. Doesn't he know chicks like carrying shopping bags? I thought he liked her since they 'shagged' in the kitchen. She did smoke a lot of weed though. I think it clouded her judgment.'_

'_Will you be quiet? You should have been here at the start of the film.'_

'_Aayla wanted to see that other film about a cowboy and a horse race in the desert. I saw it already. The guy who plays the role of Katib was really good.'_

Near the end of the film Mace and Qui-Gon are shouting at the screen again.

'_Don't go inside the bail bonds office! Ordell, it's a trap! It's, a trap! Oh, Sith! They whacked him! Aw, man! That was just wrong!'_

Leia and Han get up to leave. She ignores everyone.

"Come on, Han, let's get out of here. They do this crap all the time…talking to the screen."

"Well, you were talking to three people I couldn't see. Don't you think I'm a little embarrassed? You sound like a raving lunatic yelling into the air."

"Don't you start. Just go."

Back at the Skywalker_ 'funhouse'_:

Li-An is in a clean diaper and playing with the droids. Anakin is in the boudoir with Isabel. What a set up! Sweet! No wonder it's so clean in here. She never invites us in to enjoy it! He is resting on her beautiful chaise eating grapes from a platinum serving bowl and reading an article in one of her _Cosmos Magazines _on '_666 Ways to Please Your Man'_. He circles the ones he wants her to try. His big sith feet rest on her lap at the other end of the sofa. She applies ointment and a clean bandage to his injured big toe. A Felucia Bonsai tree is on the table next to her phone. There is a note attached:

"_To my beautiful wife,_

_I am truly grateful. _

_Sometimes I think and ask my self, 'Why Me?' How did I get so lucky?_

_I would wait for you for another 10 years._

_From your loving husband, _

_Anakin"_

_To be continued… 'Special Assignment'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	105. Chapter 105 Who's Watching the Youngling

_Chapter 105_

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'_Who's Watching the Youngling?'_

'_Look Who's Talking Up A Sith'_

'_Something Wicked this Way Comes'_

'_Night Flight Home'_

'_The Day the I Was Born'_

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Almost two years after Li-An is born there are events in the galaxy that require the help of the Jedi. An old enemy of the Galactic Republic is a potential threat to the peaceful star systems, particularly Coruscant. Reliable intelligence reports from Hutts and secret operatives in the Outer Rim have documented proof of a disturbance in the Raioballo Sector. Supreme Chancellor Valorum asks Anakin to take a trip over there to do an exploratory investigation and to assist, if help is needed. Anakin brings up the issue at the dinner table.

Li-An is playing with his food. Isabel is watching him but she is listening. She does not like what she hears. She tries to focus on the playful, precocious toddler sitting in the highchair. He is smart beyond his years with a vocabulary to match. Yoda is impressed and knows Li-An has the potential to become a most powerful Jedi. For the moment, he is just a fussy and inquisitive two-year old. Isabel is about to take his dish away.

"Li-An, are you done?"

"No. I'm waiting for it to be not hot.'

"Li, your food is cold. I think you're tired, sweetie.

"But I want to stay up. I'm not sleepy. Daddee, can I sit _wist _you?"

Anakin smiles and pats his knee. Li-An gets out of his highchair with the help of Leia. Luke discusses the trip with his father.

"Dad, I can join you…If you need a co-pilot."

"No, I can go alone. It's not a big deal. Anyway, you are training your first apprentice. It's better if you stay put, son."

Luke wants to help but he senses this is not a routine investigation as his father has been saying. . Anakin usually enjoys having Luke accompany him on these special assignments. He senses something is not right. Li-An chimes in as Luke's offer is shot down and not open for discussion.

"I want to be your '_co-pieyot,'_ Daddee."

"I know you do, Li-An. I have no doubt you'll be a superior pilot yourself one day." He lifts the toddler onto his lap. Anakin take's the baby's plate and starts to feed him. Li-An takes the fork from him."

"Open, your mouth, Dad. Wooooo…here comes the star cawooser….hahahaa! Again!"

Leia rolls her eyes as she watches her father play along and opens his mouth wide.

"Aaaahhh…Yum! Those rebel ships are tasty." Anakin looks at his plate. "Li, is this your food, I'm eating?"

"No."

"Don't lie to me."

"Why?"

"It's not nice to lie."

"Why?"

"Because the truth is always just around the corner to bite you in the aszzz…"

"Anakin!" Isabel gives Anakin a stern look. Anakin has a habit of cursing and Li-An never forgets anything, even when he's asleep.

One afternoon, Anakin is sitting on the terrace on his mobile talking to Lando. Li-An is napping in the playpen nearby. Anakin lets out a string of profanities that would make a blue comic wince. The next day, Isabel is doing laundry when she overhears her tiny cherubic tot talking to Threepio. The droid responds with a typical _'Oh Dear!'_ Isabel rushes in to see if what she was hearing was true. She lets Anakin have a piece of her mind when he returned home from the office. Luke and Leia weren't blameless either. So now, she is standing before her husband who knows he has just broken the rule of rules in the Skywalker home. Anakin corrects himself in mid-sentence.

"…...never mind." He avoids making eye contact with her. He knows she is giving him one of her disapproving glances across the table.

Li-An taps his father on his arm.

"Dad…Dad?"

"Yes, Li?"

"Can I go _wist _you to the _outer wim_?"

A wide smile forms across Anakin's face.

"Maybe next time, Honey." He smoothes the child's soft blond hair.

"But… I want to be a Jedi like Luke."

"I promise you will become a Jedi." Anakin feeds him.

Luke smiles and talks to Li-An. He tries to change the subject.

"Hey, Li, show us the seafood."

The toddler opens his mouth.

"Ahhhh."

Leia kicks Luke under the table. "Luke, don't encourage him. That is the lamest joke. You're teaching him bad habits. You shouldn't let him hang around your idiot friends like Kyp and Kyle."

Anakin agrees.

"Luke, grow up. I don't want him doing that. Kyp hasn't done one remarkable thing since graduation. The toughest assignment he's had so far was managing security for a rock concert. Since when does the Jedi Council approve things like this? I saw that ridiculous t-shirt he was wearing the other week."

"Look, Daddy. _Seefood!_ Aaaahh."

"Li, don't do that anymore. You might choke."

Luke smirks as he looks over at his father. "Yeah, Dad knows a lot about that." Luke speaks to his father. '"So, Dad, when will you leave?"

"In the morning."

Li-An looks into Anakin's eyes. He is worried.

"Where are you going, Daddy?"

"Away. For a short trip."

"But I don't want you to go."

"I'll be back."

"But you said I could go _wist_ you."

"That was another trip. You'll go with me next time. We'll go someplace more interesting."

Isabel does not like it when Anakin promises him these things. Anakin tells the child 'no' this time only to appease her and allay her fears. Her Force sensitivity seems to get stronger with each child she is carrying. She has been especially moody and stressed out lately.

"Anakin, he's too young to go on these excursions with you. I don't like it."

"Isabel, you worry too much. The trip I'm taking is just a fact-finding mission. He can come along. He'll probably sleep during the ride down anyway. He'll be on the ship the entire time."

"I don't like it."

Li-An watches his parents argue. He leans back against his father's chest sucking his thumb. Anakin continues to justify his remarks.

"Isabel, he's going to be a Jedi anyway. He can handle it. Stop babying him."

"Well, maybe it's because he _'is' _a baby."

"I'm a big boy. I'm not a baby."

Luke laughs to himself. "How are you going to use a lightsaber with your thumb in your mouth, half pint?"

Li-An removes his thumb from his mouth and points to his older brother in an accusatory manner.

"Yuke had a _gul_ in his _woom_."

Anakin turns to Luke. "You what?"

"But! …..How?….Dad, that's not what he said." Luke puts down his fork.

Toddlers don't lie, and this one was a lot more enlightened than he realized. Anakin knows that Li-An is telling the truth. Luke and Leia have not yet learned never to talk in the presence of a young child. Li-An repeats everything, mainly because he looks up to his brother and sister. Anakin squints suspiciously at Luke.

"I may not be Threepio but I can understand a toddler. Tell that _'Raging Hormone Redhead' _Mara Jade when she comes here to treat you with respect. I want to know her intentions. I swear, you and your sister have aligned yourselves with a couple of wild ones." Anakin says this tongue in cheek. He lets the baby continue feeding him and whispers to him.

"_Good boy, Li-An. You're closing in on 'Number One Son.' "_

Luke sulks. He is embarrassed about being 'exposed.' Suddenly he decides he has to make a statement.

"I'm old enough to move out; you know…I could find my own place…"

Everyone at the dinner table stops eating and look over at him.

"…But I won't give you the satisfaction." He looks down at his plate and quickly resumes eating.

Anakin looks over at his _firstborn_. He is amused. Luke has been busted by his baby brother. Now he has said too much. Anakin has a few words for 'Number One Son.'

"Why not? This gravy train you've been riding looks real good to you doesn't it?"

"I'm just not in any hurry. Besides, you two need me here. Dad, you're going to be an old man one day. I can take care of you while mom goes out on dates. She still has a lot of good years left."

Anakin is pissed.

"What?"

Isabel , normally Luke's biggest advocate is insulted.

"Gee, Luke, thanks for the backhanded compliment."

Leia laughs.

"Luke, you'd better shut up."

Anakin decides he is insulted too. "You think you have dibs on this house?"

"Oh, Dad, you know what I mean."

"Explain."

"I….never mind"

"I thought not."

"At least you wouldn't be stuck at Shady Acres Rest Home."

Anakin sets his glass down on the table so hard; the wine almost spills over the rim.

"What did you say?"

Luke quickly pulls away from the table. He looks at his watch.

"Whoa, look at the time. Obi-Wan is waiting for me.…Big meeting tonight."

He gulps down his pera juice, and kisses Isabel then rushes out. Leia grins. Anakin shouts to his son as Luke leaves the room.

"Obi-Wan is conducting Jedi business at the strip club now?"

Leia giggles. Anakin gives her a dirty look.

"You've been giggling all through dinner, 'Missy.' What are you on?"

"Nothing, Daddy! You're so suspicious of everyone."

"Don't get me started on you and that pirate boyfriend of yours. For someone so slippery and smarmy, you'd think he'd be right at home with a bunch of snakes on his ship."

"That was a horrible joke to play on him, Daddy. You know he has a condition."

"Yeah, _'Rushing hands and Roaming fingers' _all over my daughter, _Syndrome_. _'Nerf'_ needs to relax and to learn how to take a joke. He can sure dish it out. I remember he played plenty of jokes on me! I heard that remark he made a couple of years ago when I was unconscious on the sofa…_ 'Blond Snow White with a hormonal imbalance.' _I have feelings too you know. Did I retaliate?"

"Daddy, you tried to strangle him."

"He was in my life space." He mocks Leia scolding him. _'Daddy, Han has a condition.'_ Anyway, those were rubber snakes on that ship…most of them anyway." He whispers to himself. "I've got to thank Mace for that one."

"I thought you liked Han."

"I like him plenty…when he's not slobbering all over my daughter in the dayroom, after hours when your family is _asleep! _Your poor baby brother was in the nursery and couldn't get a good nights' sleep.

"Li-An sleeps plenty. Why don't you stops sending him in to spy on us? You know, I think you're coming down with a condition yourself. Luke was right. Middle-age senile dementia."

"Isabel, she's taunting me."

"Oh, Anakin, cut it out."

After dinner that evening, Anakin curls up on Li-An's bed in the nursery and reads to him.

Skippy finds a comfortable spot near the pillow above Li-An's head. This bedtime story is one of his favorites.

_The story is about the Evil Chancellor who seduces a poor innocent boy to the dark side for a few beans. The greedy old tyrant elects himself Emperor and uses the beautiful innocent boy to do his bidding. The boy with the golden hair eventually overpowers the evil mad man and tosses him in a sewer filled with all sorts of disgusting things. The story ends when a band of Ewoks captures the Stinky Evil Emperor at the bottom of the old sewer hole. The Ewoks carry the bound and gagged giant meany to the edge of the forest and tickle him with a million Mustafar Lava Fleas and Dung Droids until he melts or turns into a pillar fertilizer(depending on which version of the book you prefer). This story was always a bedtime favorite. So this is how the Emperor dies, with thunderous applause . . . _

"Yaah! _Wead_ it again."

"No more, Li. …And no more about the two disobedient and disrespectful children who wander into the sandy forest who lose their way and almost get eaten by a giant gangster slug. And no more about the good for nothing woodsman pirate who goes temporarily blind and can't help them…The useless lump of sith…"

"Why?"

"They didn't listen to their parents."

"Why?"

"They have waxy build-up in their ears and can't listen well."

"Why?"

"Remember the story I told you about 'Goldilukes and the Three Hellraisers'? There was _'Princess Bossy, Smart Mouth Nerfherder and Giant Cousin 'It.'_ and they broken onto an Imperial Space station damaging equipment, and getting into all sorts of trouble. They were a bunch of trespassing vandals. They were severely punished."

"Why?"

"They tormented many innocent soldiers. The kindly Lord of the Manor gave each a gift so they could get on with their lives. He gave the Nerfherder a nice heart shaped bed made of carbonite, he gave the Giant Cousin _'It' _ _'Hooked on Phonics Diction' _DVDs so he could speak normally instead of the stupid gurgling noise he calls language, and, for the Princess, he gave her a pair of designer Geonosian Ruby slippers to get her back home to Alderaan. However, they were ungrateful. That Princess was an agitator. She ruined it for everyone so they got nothing.

"Why?"

"Because they didn't go to bed on time and had bad dreams. Li, your mother is angry with me as it is for keeping you up past your bedtime…No more story time. Anyway, I have to get up early."

"For your _twip_?"

"Yes, for my _'twip.'_"

"Don't make fun of me, Daddee."

"I'm sorry."

"_Apowogee acettid."_

"That's my little man. I've taught you well." Anakin stands as he tucks Li-An in the bed and pulls up the side rail. "Warm enough?"

"Yes." He is tired now. Anakin watches him for a few minutes then kisses him before leaving the nursery. "Goodnight, Sweet pea."

"Kiss Kippy."

"Oh…yeah..." Anakin pats Skippy on his titanium head. Skippy waits for the 'kiss. Li-An waits too. Anakin takes a deep breath and finally complies. "There. Done. Go to sleep."

"Night-night, Daddee."

Anakin looks across the room at the crib. The new baby is due soon. Li-An was glad because he wants to be a 'big brother' and because Luke says it's a noble job and he can boss _'the new kid'_ around.

Li-An wants to go on a mission with his father like the older Jedi kids. Anakin decides Li-An would be trained at home until he turns five. Obi-Wan agreed to take on another Skywalker child to become a Jedi. Yoda has agreed to take Li-An as a Youngling as soon as he turns three years old. Isabel wanted her 'youngling' home for now.

Anakin agreed only because he wanted to bond with his children. He didn't want to make the same mistakes with Li-An as he did with the twins. Leia joked to her father that she and Luke were the _'practice' _kids. Anakin would not make the same mistakes with the new little Skywalkers …but he would indeed make mistakes. Leia told her father he was a big screw-up as a father but she loves him anyway. It was either too much love or too much discipline in the Skywalker home. Anakin couldn't help it. He was a passionate man.

Morning –

Anakin walks into the kitchen. Isabel is feeding Li-An. Li-An is excited to see his father and turns his head to look up at Anakin as Isabel is about to feed him his cereal. Li-An could be a lazy toddler. He knew how to feed himself but he preferred his mother to do the honors as he plays with the floating robot ball. Li-An possessed great hyperkinetic control. He would play this game each morning. Isabel preferred he do it after breakfast because his food would get cold. This time, he would wind up with a glob of warm cereal on the side of his face because Isabel misses his mouth when he turns to look up at his father.

"Pick me!"

"Li, be patient. Anakin, promise me you'll be careful."

Anakin kisses his wife. "I promise." He smiles then kisses Li-An where the cereal has landed and slurps it up. Li-An giggles. "Uhm, you taste delicious.!"

"Daddee, Heheheh!"

Isabel looks up at Anakin. "I don't want you to go."

"I must go. I promised the Chancellor I would do this.. You worry too much." He hugs her and rubs her belly.

"Of course I worry. Your children need you. I need you. Promise me you'll be careful."

"I promise."

Li-An reaches for Anakin to take him out of the highchair.

"So, how's my big boy this morning?"

"I go bye-bye with Daddee."

"No, _'Daddee'_ is going on serious business."

Luke walks in the kitchen.

"Li-An, come with me."

Li-An follows Luke while Isabel walks Anakin to the door. Luke has already said goodbye to his father. He wanted Anakin to change his mind or at least allow him to join his father on the journey. Anakin was firm on his decision. Leia joins her brother to wish her father a safe trip. She does not want Isabel to see how worried she is as well. She knew her father had his reasons for accepting this assignment. She believes it's more than a 'fact-finding' mission. She believes her father already knows the 'facts' and this is why Luke has not been asked to go. She returns to her room and calls Han.

"Hi. What are you doing later?...come over this evening….Han, just do it, please?"

Anakin holds his wife in his arms.

"I love you. I love this new baby. Everything will be fine, you'll see."

"Be careful."

"I promise." He kisses his wife.

As they stand together at the door, they hear a rattling sound. Isabel and Anakin look down. Li-An is carrying his stuffed Ewok. He is pulling behind him a toy wagon filled with his potty chair, two disposable pull-up diapers, his Youngling blanket, a sippy cup filled with pera juice, three storybooks, and Skippy. Anakin almost laughs.

"What's this?"

"I can go wist you now. I have my chair and my books. I can go on the twip."

Anakin's mouth drops open.

"Uhmm…Li, honey, you're going to need more than two pairs of pants, my little half-trained friend."

Li-An looks up at his mother and points upstairs.

"_Issabow, go upstawaws and bwing more pants."_

"You're not going anywhere, little boy. You're staying here with me."

Anakin smiles. "Li, I need you to stay here and be the boss. Take care of your mother for me."

"I need a co-pilot here at home."

"Okay. Kiss me, Daddee"

Anakin scoops him up and gives him a long embrace then kisses him. He hands him back to Isabel.

"I've got to go."

Anakin walks out and closes the door. Isabel feels as if she is about to cry. Luke walks in to find his brother.

"Li, there you are. Where did you go?"

"Here."

"Let's go, Pal."

Isabel turns to Luke.

"Li, you come with me. I'm going to call Popi Nakai. We'll chat with him and Nana for a few minutes."

Luke senses she needs some time to herself.

"Mom, I'll take Li-An with me. We're going to play some games. Come on, Li."

"Are you sure? I'll take him with me. It's ok."

"We'll be fine. I want to spend time with my little brother."

Li-An follows Luke. Luke's cell phone rings. "Hey, Hi, Mara….no…I'm going to spend the morning with Li. There's a lot going on….Really? What's she upset about...Oh…Well Kyp did ask for a change…Master Fisto said he was a slacker. He'll need to prove them wrong…"

Luke arrives in his room and pats the bed for Li-An to sit down. Luke is still on the phone. He stands at the window chatting with Mara.

Anakin carries some gear on board the ship downstairs in the docking bay. He settles into his pilot's chair and starts the engines.

Isabel is listening to reassuring words from her mother. She has gone through half the tissue box as she relaxes on the ivory chaise in the boudoir.

Luke laughs at something Mara is saying. He turns to check on Li-An. "Mara, I've got to go. I didn't realize we've been talking so long. I need to spend some quality time with my brother."

Luke has been spending more time with Mara Jade since her graduation almost a year ago from the Jedi Academy. Maggie and Vic Jade threw a graduation party for their daughter at 'The Mustafar Meatball Factory Restaurant, not far from the shopping mall. The entertainment is a local band called _'The Whiphids.' The menu included classics like Duck Geonosis, Shaak Spaghetti Carbonara, Tossed Felucia Garden Salad, Mini Steak Sandwiches, Tatooine Tiramisu, and fountain beverages. The graduation cake was a three-tiered creation with a marzipan figure of the lightsaber-wielding redhead Jedi Academy graduate placed on top. Kyp and Kyle ask if they could have the figure instead of the cake for dessert. Rocca remarks that that's as close as Kyp will ever get to Mara and that he was truly a disgusting pig._

_After the celebration, Mara gives the marzipan cake topper to Luke. It is now sealed in cellophane atop his desk in his room._

After Luke hangs up with Mara, he looks around the room for his little brother.

Meanwhile, Anakin is on his way to the Raioballo Sector in the Outer Rim Territories. He is relaxed now. He thinks about his youngest child. He could still feel his life force. Anakin smiles to himself as he can almost feel his child's sweet breath and hear his laughter.

"Li! Where are you? Come on, we'll play a game…."

Luke searches his room then heads down the hall to Isabel's lounge. He notices she is still on the phone while folding baby clothes. She turns to see Luke Standing in the doorway. He quickly leaves and runs downstairs. He walks through the living room and sees the toy wagon. It is empty. He follows the trail of a pull-up toddler diaper and the fiberboard spear belonging to the stuffed Ewok. The trail takes Luke to the entrance to the parking bay. He leaves the wagon there.

"Holy Sith! Li!" As Luke turns to hurry back inside Leia is standing in the foyer. She holds her hands to her mouth.

"Luke, say it's not true. Dad!"

Luke holds his hand to his forehead. "He was right behind me….He couldn't have…"

"Couldn't have what, Luke?" Isabel is standing at the top of the stairs. Luke picks up the COM Link to the ship.

"Dad?" The is no answer but after a few seconds, Anakin picks up.

"Yes, Luke. What is it?"

"Uhm…you didn't see Li-An follow you to the bay, did you?"

"Of course not. Why? He has to be there. Look around some more. Check the day room. He likes the game room. He's probably hiding from you or he's fallen asleep. How could you be so careless? You have to watch him at all times! Find him!"

"Ok. Over and out." Luke hurries into the day room.

Anakin can't believe Luke has not kept an eye on the toddler. He checks the controls on the dashboard. The coordinates are set for the Raioballo Sector. He sits back in his chair to relax. Still, something is not right. It's as if he is being watched. He has his finger on the switch of his lightsaber just in case. Something grabs onto the armrest of his pilot's chair.

"Ahaaa! _Soupwise_, Daddee!"

"Holy, sith!" Anakin almost jumps out of his seat. "Li-An! What are you doing here?"

"I'm your co-pieyot, Daddee!"

"Oh, Geez!" He scoops up the child. Skippy is with him. "What sort of guard dog are you?" Anakin switches on the COM Link. "Luke, he's here. I don't know how he did it, but he's here."

Li-An yells over the COM Link. "Hallo, Yuke! I'm a co-pieyot! Yaaah!" He claps his hands.

Anakin turns red. He is embarrassed and angry. He holds Li-An away from the COM link and speaks.

"I honestly did not see him. He must have slipped onboard while I was loading gear onto the ship. I'll have to turn the ship around. How come no one noticed he was gone all this time?"

"Sorry, Dad."

"There's a meteor shower ahead. We may be delayed awhile. Over and out."

Anakin looks down at this small child. Li-An smiles as he sits in his father's lap.

"Can I _pwess_ a button, Daddee?"

"No, Li, you cannot press any buttons. Your mother is looking for you."

"But I'm here. Turn on the _TeeBee_ so we can see Mama."

"Later. Let's get you fastened in first. We'll have to land soon. This meteor shower is pretty bad..."

Anakin thought it was strange for meteor showers in the Braxant Sector this time of year. He decides to land just to be safe. The ship lands in a isolated area.

Li-An is securely fastened into the co-pilot seat. Anakin gets up and grabs a blaster, tucking it in the waistband in the back of his pants. He looks at his son one last time before opening the boarding ramp.

"Li-An. Be very quiet. Okay?"

"Are you coming back, Daddee?"

"Yes. Quiet now."

Anakin walks along the murky path. It is dusk now on this Remnant. Not much in the way of life forms he thought. He surveys the area. There is something not quite right. He can feel it but he could not sense what it was using the Force. The intelligence reports mentions suspicious activity on this desolate planet. Anakin is a good distance from the ship when he suddenly spins around and is face to face with what he had feared would be true. Once banished from the Core Worlds, the scourge of the Galaxy stands before him. A vile looking species and lethal. Its gleaming pasty features appear vividly in the growing darkness. Yuuzhan Vong.

The menacing creature flashes its horrific teeth at the Dark Lord. Anakin keeps his eyes focused on the tall figure standing before him. The Yuuzhan Vong gazing back at him speaks.

"Are you alone, Jedi?"

"I am not a Jedi."

"Why are you here?"

"I had to land my ship."

Anakin feels another presence in the area but it is in the distance. It is other than Yuuzhan Vong. Right now, he only sees the one speaking to him.

"On your knees, Jedi."

"I am not a Jedi. Are you going to kill me?"

"Yes."

"I see." Anakin drops to his knees.

"You're a brave one. What cargo are you carrying aboard this vessel?"

"Books."

The Yuuzhan Vong clutches his amphistaff. The whip-like tool quickly hardens into a sharp spear as he positions it close to Anakin's face. There is three more Yuuzhan Vong surrounding him. Apparently, they were there the entire time. Anakin hears crying. He knows this sound too well. His heart pounds so fast, he can hear it over the cries. A fifth Yuuzhan Vong stands at the top of the now open boarding ramp of the ship. This looks like the leader of the group. He is larger and more fearsome than the others are. This one is smiling too much for Anakin's comfort.

Anakin's fear turns to rage when he sees this vile being clutching his small son. The 'Leader' looks down at Anakin.

"Books, you say…this is more valuable to you than books."

"Let him go. He's innocent."

"He's already dead. He won't survive for long after we kill you."

Anakin can feel the intense anger and hate build up deep inside of him. Never has he felt this way since the dark times during the Clone Wars and that fateful night on Mustafar. With speed and agility that surprises even him, Anakin reveals his lightsaber and blaster shooting two of his captures in the point- blank in the head and decapitating a third. The carnage lay at his feet. The remaining Yuuzhan Vong holding the amphistaff in front of him is now Anakin's captive. The lightsaber aimed directly at the alien's throat. Anakin had to have exact aim since the captive is covered by hard, organic body armor that is difficult to cut through it with a lightsaber.

"Let him go!"

"Kill him if you can. Either way, you still lose." He squeezes Li-An to inflict more pain. Something distracts him, however. Skippy sneaks up and nips at the ankle of Li-An's attacker. Unfortunately, for the little droid K-9, he cannot grab onto the demon. Skippy cannot escape the amphistaff, which violently impales his titanium covering. Anakin hears a pathetic yelp leave the family pet."

"You murdering SOB!"

The Yuuzhan Vong standing at the ship's entrance secretes a blue gelatinous liquid and lets it drips on Li-An. He releases the child like a leaf falling to the ground.

"Nooo!" Anakin charges up the ramp, forgetting momentarily about his own captive. He aims his lightsaber. The captive charges after Anakin and swings his own amphistaff ready to slice the former Jedi but something stops him from behind. Anakin is focused only on his child's attacker. Skippy manages to move away and catches Li-An's body on his back. Anakin thrusts his lightsaber into the throat of the attacker killing him instantly. The body falls off the ramp into the craggy mass of rocks nearby.

"Mr. Skywalker? Are you alright? Mr. Skywalker?"

Anakin is in shock for a moment. He finally looks up an sees a face he recognizes immediately. It is Kyp Durron, Luke's classmate from the Jedi Academy and good friend. He is with a band of Jedi and stormtroopers.

"Kyp?"

"Yes, Master. We've got them all. They were the last of an escaped group of Yuuzhan Vong trying to rebuild an instillation here for another attack. That one you killed was Nom Anor. The rest were warriors and shapers looking for refuge. Is there something we can do for you?"

"No. Leave, please."

Kyp reluctantly steps away from the ship. Anakin presses the button on the door. He looks around him. Skippy lies on the ships floor. One rear leg flutters. He scoops up the lifeless body of his son. The life force is draining from his body by the toxin injected by Nom Anor.

"Daddee, I'm cold." The weak voice of his son is shattering.

"I know, baby. I know."

Anakin turns and finds the blanket Li-Ani stowed away with aboard the ship. He wraps him in it and paces the floor of the cabin. He hears a voice.

'_Anakin?'_

"Bring him back!"

'_It's ok, Anakin.'_

"I can't go home like this. I can't. How do I explain? She won't understand. I can't do it. I'll do anything; just bring him back."

'_Anakin, listen to me.'_

Back on Coruscant Leia is sobbing but nothing is as heart wrenching as the sound from the master bedroom upstairs. Leia tries to wipe her reddened tear-stained face before going upstairs. Luke feels the worst of all. He takes the blame for being on the phone with Mara and not watching his little brother. Obi-Wan is at the house. Luke sits on the terrace with him.

"Obi-Wan, I was careless. I feel horrible."

"Luke, there's nothing more you can do."

"Dad is so upset. I can feel it." Luke buries his face in his hands and sobs.

"Don't think the worse, Luke. Your father loves you. He's a forgiving man."

"We're talking about my father."

"He will forgive you. Trust me."

It is half past midnight when Anakin walks through the door. Isabel's parents are at the house. Han is there but he has little to say. He stays to comfort Leia. She is devastated. Anakin flies the ship on auto pilot then entire trip home so he can hold Li-An in his arms. He reads _'The Night I was Born.'_

Threepio and Artoo greet him at the door. Obi-Wan looks into Anakin's eyes. He knows Anakin has been stalling downstairs in the parking bay. The family gathers in the living room. Everyone is quiet. Isabel finally comes downstairs accompanied by her mother. Anakin is still holding Li-An in his arms. Isabel almost faints when she sees this. Anakin aches for her. He feels horrible for having to put her through this ordeal. Anakin sees her tear stained face.

"Isabel…Isabel, he's asleep." He places Li-An in her arms then holds her close. He looks across the room at Luke who is feeling he has let his parents down. Isabel walks over to him and lets him take Li-An.

"Mom, I'm so sorry."

Anakin wheels the toy wagon into his study. Everyone turns in for the night. Isabel's parents take one of the guestrooms as does Obi-Wan. It has been an emotionally draining day.

While everyone heads upstairs. Anakin goes to his study and removes the blanket from the wagon. He opens up a silver toolbox.

"Okay, Skip; let's take a look at you."

Nakai knocks on the door. "Anakin, May I?"

"Sure."

"I'm not here to point any fingers. I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

"I'll be fine."

"You did a good thing. Master Kenobi just received a communiqué from the Chancellor. You've done a brave thing. Go upstairs with your family." He points to the crumpled titanium carcass in the wagon. "I worked on this little guy before. Let me have a go at him."

He pats Anakin on the shoulder and ushers him out of the study. Luke is standing there. Anakin knows Luke wants to apologize again. There is no need. Anakin embraces his son then goes upstairs. He is exhausted. Luke walks into the study and helps Nakai.

That night Li-An sleeps in the bed with his parents. He wakes up during the night. Isabel turns on the light. Li-An rubs his eyes and yawns.

"Hi, Mama." He puts his thumb in his mouth and goes back to sleep.

A over a week passes. Anakin invites his in-laws over for Sunday brunch on the terrace. Anakin and Nakai are talking sports.

"Are you going to watch the pod races today, Anakin?"

"Yeah. I'll talk to you about it later." He holds a piece of food under the table then discreetly tilts his head toward Isabel.

"Oh…ohhh. Okay." He smiles after catching on to Anakin's contorted facial expressions. He looks down and smiles even more now.

"Pop-Pop, Popi!"

"Yes, Li-An?"

"See-food! Aaaahh! Heheheh!"

"Where did you learn that?"

Leia rolls her eyes. "Jedi Knight Kyp Durron." She says this with a hint of admiration.

Nakai nods.

"Oh, _'Mr. Celebrity.' _

Luke laughs.

"Yeah, he has a fan club now. Rocca's not too pleased"

Anakin sips his orange juice. "He was wearing some t-shirt under his Jedi robe when I last saw him."

"Oh, that shirt. _'I Was a Jedi Rock Star Guard, and All I got was this stupid T-Shirt.'_

Nakai looks at Anakin as they watch Li-An run back and forth under the table.

"He doesn't remember anything about that night?"

"Not a thing. It's as if it never happened. Li-An, you're not done growing my friend. You won't be able to fit under that table much longer."

"Yeth I will! Kippy!" Skippy pops his head up from his little mat near the lemon tree plant. He chases a ball midair.

Anakin and Nakai are getting up from the table. Isabel stops them.

"You're not going to watch pod racing today."

"What? It's not as if we're going to Tatooine.."

"Anakin, I know all about the secret places, the room downstairs, at the Coruscant Anger Management Center and I know about the Monastery."

"How? Why? Who told you?"

"It doesn't matter. You can't go today."

"And why not?"

"Because we're having a baby."

"I know that!...Oh, you mean now?"

"Between now and when we arrive at the hospital."

"Why do you always do that? I think you time your labor just as people are trying to have a good time. ...And why do you have to do it in eating places? Last time it was in the kitchen. It was like a G'damned Tsunami around the kitchen counter."

Li-An points.

"Oooo, Daddee, _lu said a bad wuud. Same on lu_."

"Sorry, Li. 'Bel, I could have drowned that night! Now we're here with relatives and you decide to burst a cork on the terrace at the breakfast table."

"I'm ignoring you. Shut up and grab my overnight bag."

Li-An points to his mother.

"Oooo, Isawbow, you said _'sut up'_."

Isabel looks at her small son.

"You stay with Nana."

"But I want to go wist luu."

"Nana and Pop-Pop will bring you. Anakin, I hope you didn't misplace my birthing plan."

"Don't nag me, woman." He opens the door for her and smiles. "Keep your legs crossed until we get to the emergency room. I just had my speeder reupholstered."

Back at the house Li-An walks over to Luke. He takes his big brother by the hand.

"_Yuke,_ I want to go _wist lu._"

Luke knows his family has forgiven him but he feels a certain sense of peace when his little brother takes his hand. Nakai lets Luke take Li-An to the hospital. They follow with Leia.

Anakin and Isabel arrive at the emergency room. Anakin hopes Nurse Ratched is not on duty. Maybe she fell over a gurney and broke her hip. Much to his delight there is a new nurse this time. She has a sweet welcoming smile.

"Good Morning! My name is Nurse Betty. How are you today?"

"We're fine, thank you., Nurse Betty. We're the Skywalkers. My wife is about to give birth."

"Congratulations. Someone will be with you in just a moment…"

Anakin's smile turns to a pout when he sees someone step up to the counter in front of the petite, cheery _'Nurse Betty.'_ The voice is not sweet and not at all welcoming.

"Hello, Name and paperwork, please. Hurry it up, you're not the only patients in this hospital."

_To be continued… 'The Day I Was Born'_

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_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this heart wrenching story of rebirth and forgiveness.**_

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	106. Chapter 106 The Day I Was Born

_Chapter 106_

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'_The Day the I Was Born'_

'_The Wicked Nurse of the West Wing'_

'_Wandering Force Ghosts'_

'_Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and the Sith'_

'_Baby Tips: Force Ghost Style'_

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Previously on_ 'As the Sith Turns'_:

"_Hello, name and paperwork please. Hurry it up; you're not the only patients in this hospital."_

"Oh, Sith!"

It has been two years since he had to deal with the _'Wicked Witch of the West Wing' _maternity ward. Anakin promises Isabel that he would not aggravate the nurse or inflict any pain on the evil bat or the nursing staff. That goes for '_Dr. Handsome Young and Smooth'._ What a gig he's got! OB-GYN. That's a job for kindly old men…no, that's no good either. Damn!

He thought about those GH-7medical droids but he doesn't think he could put up with the dopey babbling of a midwife droid. It made him think back for a moment how things could have been different had he not turned away from the Light, and he could have seen his two older children born on Coruscant rather than that cold mining settlement on Polis Massa. This was a brief moment of reflection. He didn't want to think of those bad times. This is a happy moment. He made his peace. Life is beautiful. He is looking forward to welcoming a new Skywalker. Besides, he has human nurses to torment.

A nurses' assistant leads Isabel into a room to record her vitals. Isabel turns to speak to her husband as he stands at the admissions desk with the 'Wampa Ice Nurse.'

"Anakin, honey, I'm going to be in the next room getting weighed."

Anakin smiles then waves to her. "Alright, sweetheart, don't break the scale. You know how these hospitals are; they'll charge you for everything you touch. That ugly scale doesn't even match our bathroom décor."

"You're not funny."

"I love you." He grins but Isabel gives him a dirty look as she disappears inside the room.

Nurse Ratched stands at the desk. Her nurses' uniform is freshly starched. It looks as if it will shatter in a million pieces if she ever ran into a moving speeder or freighter. He is wondering when she goes on her break. He would like to have a 'head-on' meeting with her in the parking lot, the old Krayt Dragon.

"Mr. Skywalker?" She snaps her finger in his face. "Hey! Pay attention. You don't have time to drift off to dream world you know…"

"…Yeah, yeah…we're not the only patients in the hospital. You've got babies to deliver. I got it. So… I thought you'd be retired or something by now."

"No, Mr. Skywalker, I am a dedicated nurse. I take my job seriously. I am nowhere near retiring." She examines their paperwork. Anakin pounds his fist on the counter.

"Damn!"

"Excuse me?"

"Uhm, darn, I ah…I forgot my stylus." He pretends to feel around his pockets for a stylus. She hands him one attached to the desk.

"Complete this form and sign at the bottom."

Anakin takes the data pad and answers much the same way he did during the last visit over two years ago: _'No…No.…epidu…No….'_

Nurse Ratched watches as he does this.

"Signature please. Thank you."

Anakin sighs then flashes one of his saccharine smiles. "All signed."

He studies her nurses' uniform again. The crisp white nurses' cap sits perfectly on her matronly coiffed hair. That _'Do'_ is definitely a _'Don't'_ in Anakin's mind. His eyes travel down to the collar of her uniform. There is a round metallic pin inserted at the point of the collar. The nurse feels his eyes studying her as she reviews the form he has just completed. She knows he is burning to say something. She lifts her eyes and peers over the data pad and shouts at him.

"What?"

"Uhm…just wondering…what that pin is for…some sort of tracking device or control lock? My droids have those..."

"I beg your pardon? Do I look like a droid to you?"

"I was just asking."

She tugs at her collar as if to thrust it at him. Anakin pulls back a bit. The woman is almost in his face. She points to the pin.

"For your information, this pin signifies 25 years of exemplary and devoted service to the nursing profession. It's a symbol of honor. I wear it proudly. These pins aren't given out like free candy. A nurse has to earn them."

"I see. So, did you buy yours?"

"Are you mocking me, Mr. Skywalker?"

"No…no…never. No, M'am. I just like being informed. It makes me feel better that my wife is being taken care of by a seasoned professional such as yourself."

There is laughter from behind the nurse. Anakin tries not to look pass her because he would burst into hysterical laughter himself. He purses his lips and hands the stylus back to her. She snatches it out of his hand and places it back in the holder. She hands him a copy to take up to the delivery room.

The laughter continues.

'_Lather it on, Ani!'_

'_I think she kind of likes the attention or she would have kicked his ass out of here as soon as he started this nonsense.'_

Mace and Qui-Gon are sitting on the clerk's desk directly behind the nurse. They are laughing it up. Anakin turns and leaves the counter. It is perfect timing. Isabel is about to go upstairs to her room…or so he thinks. He'll geteight hours of rest before she delivers.

"Anakin, where are you?"

"I'm right here. Where do you think I would be?"

"Making a nuisance of yourself. You signed everything?"

"Yes, Isabel."

"Did you attach my birthing plan?"

"Yes."

"Let me see." She reaches for it. The nurses' assistant wheels her to the elevator. Anakin holds it out of her reach."

"Isabel, I'm shocked you don't trust me."

"You _'forgot' _it the last time. I want this birth to be easy."

"It will be. This kid is going to plop out just the way Li-An did."

'Li-An didn't exactly _'plop'_ out. He was eight pounds of pushing."

"And you handled it like a champ, honey!" He gives her a reassuring albeit condescending pat on the shoulder.

"I want to see those documents."

Isabel senses a big fat sith rat disguised as her husband. She tries to grab the documents but has a contraction. Anakin looks at her.

"See? You need to relax. Are you okay?"

Qui-Gon stands beside the student nurse. He is checking her out.

'_A little young, but I would shag her.'_

Isabel is fed up. "Everyone out!"

The confused trainee looks at her. "But, Mrs. Skywalker, we're still in the elevator. We'll get to the delivery room as soon as we reach the floor. Have you been practicing your breathing exercises?"

Isabel is in the mood the kill everyone in the elevator right now. Anakin chuckles quietly as they wait for the elevator to stop. He recalls the second birthing class they signed up for last month. Jenni Sachi, licensed birthing coach, and Coruscant Fantasy Plasmaball Cheerleader in… a former life, was back.

The class did the mandatory _'Tatooine hippies chanting to the Dual Sun Gods' _yoga exercise. That's not what it was called, but Anakin couldn't get into it unless he thought of it this way. It also helped to wear his E-Pod ear buds. While the group was busy breathing and humming, Anakin nodded to _'Holobay' _by Grievous Day .He did not see how all of this humming and chanting helped with childbirth, it sure didn't help his wife. Anakin makes certain they receive their graduation certificate before the birth this time.

During a break in one of their classes, one of theother couples walks over to Anakin and Isabel. Couples congregate around the buffet table to have caffeine-free jawa, Dex's Donuts and Hydrian Way Trail mix and bottles of that trendy over-priced Hoth Glacier Water.

"Hey, you're Anakin Skywalker, right? Good to meet you. I'm Huck and this is my lovely, soon-to-give-birth better half, Becky."

Anakin stares blankly over the rim of his paper cup. He is afraid to make any sudden moves. Cheerful and bursting-belly Becky waves with a big smile. He is only a few inches away from her but she is waving as if she is on a ship returning from a long voyage.

"Hi, there!"

Anakin is wishing the liquid in his cup is 80 Proof Caamas. Suddenly he gets a kick-start from behind. Isabel pokes her husband in his back then steps in front of him to greet the couple.

"I'm Isabel, his wife. Nice to meet you." Isabel reaches out to the couple to shake their hands. Anakin finally comes back to life. Sith…it wasn't a dream. He removes the cup from his lips and nods to the couple. Huck gregariously grabs hold of Anakin and gives the Dark Lord a hearty handshake.

"Huck Finley. Folks call me Huck or Finn for short. It's an honor to meet you. Becca and I don't get to meet important people such as yourselves, and we've met just about every character all over this Universe. Wow! The Dark Lord and commander of the troops, right here in the flesh! Bec kept nudging me to come over and talk to you. She can sure zero in on a celebrity when she sees one. So, you weren't here last time, were you?"

"Last time?"

"Last year. We missed you man. Glad to have you back."

"Uh…thanks."

"So, you decided to take a break huh? We haven't seen you here for two years. You're missing out on all the cool stuff and great grub"

"You were here last year?"

"Yeah! Bec here is as fertile as the Felucia Rainforest."

Anakin thought he was out of control with Li-An still in the potty training stage and another baby on the way, but at least he gave Isabel some breathing space between the two.

"Well, how about that."

"Hey, would you do us a big favor? Over the years, we've gotten autographs from celebrities all over the galaxy. I was wondering if you would honor us…"

Anakin is regretting this encounter every moment this nut cake is jabbering to him. It's that Isabel's fault. _'Anakin, we have to socialize. It's one of the reasons we're taking this class.' _If she weren't so hot when she says this….well, he doesn't know what he would do but he is getting pissed off right now.

Anakin feels around his pants pocket. "Well…uhm…..I don't have any paper."

"Oh, no need, man! Bec her has her entire belly autographed from all sorts of folk. Show 'em, honey. Anski, just sign wherever you can find a spot."

"Won't your wife mind? Besides, she pregnant, Aren't you afraid you'll give your child stylus poisoning?"

Becky chimes in. "Oh, I'm not worried. Really, go ahead." Becky lifts her top exposing her belly. Anakin gulps. Huck has another request.

"You know, we should get together sometime. I've got a terrific Sci-Fi and Anime collection. Are you into Sci-Fi?"

"No. Don't believe in it."

"Your wife is really hot. I'd love to take her for a test run. You and Becky can get together too. We're in an 'open' relationship."

Anakin stares at the man.

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah! We belong to this club…we publish a newsletter on our website…."

Anakin is debating in his head if he wants to know more. No, he does not! He is also shocked by another revelation. Huck and Becky are awaiting the birth of the child she is carrying so a DNA test can be done. Apparently, Becky spent some time with two other men while she and Huck took a canoe trip along the Felucia Mississippi River with someone named Jim and a brief run-in with an escapee named Joe. There was a distinct possibility Huck's close friend Tom was involved. Anakin thinks a DNA test probably won't be required once that kid pops out. Finally, Anakin is spared the sorted details when he hears birthing coach, Jenni Sachi's voice.

"Okay, couples, back to your seats! We have a film to watch then I'm going to quiz you."

Anakin jokes under his breath that Becky needs a quiz. It's called 'Who's_ My Baby's Daddy?'_

Isabel rejoins her husband. He whispers to her. She can tell he looks a bit upset.

"Where were you? You left me alone with that couple."

"Watch out, that couple is weird."

"No '_Sith'_? Why didn't you warn me? Do you know what those two are into?"

"I thought you would catch on and handle the situation. I sure wasn't going to hang around talking to them. You know how to get rid of people like that."

"Not legally I can't. You don't want me to go to jail before our child is born, do you?"

"Stop complaining. The class is starting again."

This time around, Isabel and Anakin do much better in class. They receive their certificate with a gold seal of distinction. They are ready to enjoy another blessed event of a new baby in the Skywalker home.

Now she is in the hospital with her husband at her side. No comforting massages, no pain reducing epidural. She never dreamed it would be like this… again!

Doctor _'Doug'_ is seated in his normal spot at the end of the delivery bed. He reminded Anakin of a Geonosian miner, sitting on that stainless steel stool 'excavating' Isabel for some rare jewels. Seems like old times. He speaks to Isabel as if he was her plasmaball coach and she needed to win one for the team.

"Come on, Isabel, push, you've done this before."

"But this isn't fair! Whatever happened to my peaceful birth?"

"You're doing great. This baby will be out any moment."

Anakin caresses his wife's shoulders and rolls his eyes.

"Is that the best you can do? _' Any moment' _Can't you give her a more accurate timeframe?" What sort of doctor are you?

Doctor smooth and handsome glances up at Anakin only briefly.

"Apparently, I'm not the doctor you expect me to be. Anakin, want to give me a hand here?"

Anakin looks down at the foot of the delivery bed. He lets go of Isabel causing her head to fall back on the pillow.

"Oww!"

He looks back at Isabel for a moment as he steps between the nurse and Doctor 'Doug Ross.'

"Oops! Sorry, honey. You okay?"

"Don't speak to me."

The nurse hands him the umbilical scissors.

"Mr. Skywalker, you're up."

"Thanks."

Anakin smiles as the doctor places the newborn on top of Isabel's belly. The infant lets out a healthy cry. Obi-Wan, joins the rest of the family in the private waiting area. There is celebration.

Li-An is sitting on his Grandmother's lap. He points towards the room.

"Mama."

"You'll see her soon, sweetie."

Luke and Leia smile at one another. Leia calls Li-An over.

Li, come over here with me."

Ouisanne lets him down. He walks over to his older siblings. Leia takes him by the hand as they wait at the window. She lifts him in her arms. Li-An presses his face against the glass. He looks at his sister and points.

"Bebe."

"Yes, there's a baby."

Just at that moment, Anakin pokes his head out the birthing room door. He is beaming.

"We now have four Skywalkers to drain me of my finances. Luke, Leia, I'll be with you in a moment. Li., your mother needs to see you. She hasn't spent any time with you today."

Isabel is happy about the new baby but since that day when Li-An stowed away on his father's ship, Isabel has not let him out of her sight for long. The danger he faced that day cut through her like a knife. She is not going to enjoy this moment fully until her first-born is safely by her side. Anakin knows he had better go retrieve his precocious toddler immediately.

Li-An is happy to go with his father, his big hero. His other hero is his older brother Luke. Leia is his fashion advisor hero. She makes sure his clothes match and his shoes are on the right feet. This is not something she trusted her father or Luke to do.

Isabel smiles as soon as Anakin carries their little blond escape artist into the room. He is eager to go to her as Anakin places him beside her.

"Mama!"

"Hello, Sweetie. I missed you." She smothers him with kisses. She is happy to hear him call her 'Mama' instead of _'Isabow.'_ He does, on occasion address his father as Anakin. However, when he falls or when he wants to be held, it's always 'Mama.' Li-An is enjoying this moment but he is also aware there is another 'occupant' in the bed with them. The tiny hands and feet move in the surgical towel. Anakin squeezes on the crowded bed.

"Li-An, here is your brand new brother."

Li-An smiles as he touches his new sibling on the arm. He looks up at his father.

"Bebe boda?"

Anakin laughs.

"Yes, Bebe boda."

The new baby calmly looks at Li-An as he rests on his mother's belly. After a few minutes, Anakin, requiring very little assistance by the nurse, prepares his new son for his introduction to the rest of the family. He walks into the family visitor's room. He has a big smile on his face.

"The circle is almost complete. I have enough players for a team to play 'Celebrity Sabacc.' Who's the man? There's a new world order in the Skywalker house, Leia. Guys rule."

Leia rolls her eyes at her father but she is happy about her new baby brother. She enjoys taunting her father right now.

"I'm sure mom is thrilled. All four of you boys can share a brain now."

Anakin pretends to ignore Leia's comments. He walks over to his mother-in-law.

"Isabel couldn't be happier. Ouisanne, Nakai, your daughter was a real champ in there today." He hands Ouisanne the baby.

"Anakin, he's gorgeous."

"Of course he's gorgeous, look who his grandparents are!"

Nakai laughs. He wasn't expecting this from Anakin. It is a nice remark even though the little bundle of joy is the spitting image of Anakin with a full head of soft blond hair. There are no baldheaded babies in the Skywalker family Anakin would remark later. Nakai can see that his son-in-law is the happiest man in the galaxy.

Anakin looks behind the group surrounding him to see an _'intruder'_ enter the room"Hey, nerfherder, what are you doing here?"

Han Solo points to Leia the way he did when the two men first met during the escapades involving the Space Station.

"Uhm...Leia invited me. Congratulations, Sir."

"Thank you, Solo. I've got another son; how do you like that?"

"You're a prolific man, Mr. Skywalker."

"Thanks, Solo!"

Anakin snorts proudly then stops to think for a moment. As Han chats with Nakai, Anakin lean over and whisper to his daughter.

"Leia, what does 'prolific' mean? Did he just insult me? Because if he is, I'll…"

"Relax, Dad. It just means you're a 'busy' man."

"Oh…ok…" He turns to her again. "Busy like how?"

"He's congratulating you on your Sabacc team."

"Oh…ok…That was nice of him. For a moment there I thought I was going to have to choke him for making another smart-ass remark."

Leia pats her father gently on his back then glances over at Luke who rolls his eyes with a smile. He slips into the room to visit Isabel.

Obi-Wan walks over to congratulate Anakin.

"Anakin, you must be so proud today."

"I am, Master. I just got a nice compliment from Han over there. He says that I'm prolific. He finally gave me a sincere compliment."

Obi-Wan smiles broadly and pats Anakin on the shoulder. He knows what Han really means.

"That you are, Anakin. That you are. You've come a long way."

The two old friends stand at the window looking into the hospital room as the rest of the family gathers to visit with Isabel. Li-An looks up from the bed at the twins then points to the baby.

"Yuke, Leya, we hab a bebe boda. See?"

Leia kisses Li-An's angelic face.

"Yes, Li, we see. He's nice isn't he?"

Li-An nods 'Yes.'

In the family visiting room, Anakin turns to Obi-Wan.

"You should go in and see Isabel and your newest godchild."

"Yes, I will. She's doing much better than the last time."

"Well, Li-An was her first baby."

"It would have been easier if she had a little something to ease the pain. Too bad the option wasn't on her birthing plan."

"She did fine without it. Look at her, radiant as ever….Obi-Wan, don't give me that look. Don't judge me. I did it for her own good."

"I'm sure you did, Anakin. I think I'm going to join the others now. Congratulations, Anakin."

"Thank you, Master."

Anakin s left alone in the family room…or so he thinks. Han stands around awkwardly, just a few feet away looking through the viewing window. Anakin nods for him to go inside. Finally! Now Anakin is alone to chat.

'_Anakin, you 'Are' the man.'_

"Did you get a good look at him, Master?"

'_He's a great looking baby. You look really happy today.'_

"I am happy. I'm really grateful for the help and support you gave me in the last few years. I glad I've accomplished everything I set out to do this past year. Most of all, I want to thank you again for giving Li-An back to me. It would have destroyed Isabel."

'_I'm glad I could help.'_

"So…what do you think?"

'_He's a beautiful baby, Anakin. You didn't have to name him after me.'_

"A promise is a promise. You saved my son."

'_I was only joking. I would have saved Li-An anyway.'_

"Oh, so I don't have to name him after you?"

'_Well, I didn't exactly say that… Do me a favor?"_

"Sure, Master. What is it?"

'_Don't start nicknaming him or adding an **'ie' **at the end of his name. It's undignified.'_

"It will be his middle name. No one touches middle names."

'Well, what's his first name going to be?'

"Alex."

'Interesting name. Where did you come up with that?'

"An old friend on Tatooine is an antiques dealer. He found a book in a time capsule from Earth. It's about a _great_ warrior king."

'_Well, he is going to be a powerful Jedi.'_

Anakin paid a secret visit to Tatooine after his near disastrous trip on the Outer Rim. Isabel wasn't speaking to him much the days following his return home with Li-An. He needed to get out of the house to give Isabel some space. He also had to thank someone there.

Anakin enters the shop on Tatooine dressed as a peasant. In the storage room, Anakin reveals himself to Watto. The aging shopkeeper appears visibly shaken fearing someone would discover he was the secret informant. Anakin feels sorry for the old buzzard.

"How are you Watto?"

Watto's voice is uncharacteristically timid as he whispers to Anakin.

"Have they been eliminated?"

"Yes. They scared you, didn't they?"

"I never want to come across the likes of them again."

"You won't, I promise you. Anyway, I've got contacts here on Tatooine. You are safe. Thanks for your help."

"Anything for you, Ani. How is the little tyke?"

"He's fine. Thanks."

After a few minutes of chatting, Watto calms down enough to sit with Anakin dinking jawa juice and reminiscing about the old days. When Anakin leaves, Watto is rewarded with a yearly stipend and round the clock protection. He felt like a movie star with his 'entourage.'

Anakin thinks back on that day fondly.

'_That was a good thing you did for Watto, Anakin.'_

"I never forget those who have helped me, Master. So where is everyone? Where's Qui-Gon?"

'_He's still on the prowl trying to skelp that nurse's trainee.'_

"Ohh noo." Anakin slaps himself on the forehead then laughs.

'_Aayla and Ki-Adi are on their way. They went to the Plasmaplex to see a lame-ass holofilm.'_

Uhm… Master? If you're going to be my son's 'Spiritual' Godfather, you're going to have to watch the language. 'Bel already got after me for using adult language in front of Li. I hope you can respect our wishes."

'_As you wish, Anakin. _So, Anakin, mind if I give you one piece of advice regarding your two youngest?'

"Of course. What is that, Master?"

'_Those two little whirling blond tornados need baby harnesses. You need to keep an eye on them every second.'_

"Thank you, Master. I will."

_On the day I was born, my father went to the hospital gift shop and purchased two child harnesses for me and my brother Li. He had asked the sales clerk if the harnesses came in young adult sizes. He had the wellbeing of my brother Luke and sister Leia in mind. Even if he were able to find the harnesses in their size, he would have a difficult time trying to lasso them to put the things on. Instead, he put our harnesses to good use. Leia and Luke had to take us with them on dates. _

_Anyway, Uncle Mace told my father that Li and I were going to be a handful in the coming years. My Dad purchased the best quality harnesses his credits could buy. The tag reads:_

'_Approved by the Imperial office of the Department of Health and Human Services'_

_Alex Windu Skywalker_

_7 lbs 6ozs._

_Born 14:20hrs_

_Coruscant University Hospital_

_To be continued… 'Visitors and an Intolerant Gran Palpy'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this heart wrenching story of rebirth and forgiveness.**_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**


	107. Chapter 107Visitors and Grandpalpy

_Chapter 107_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Wise Guys'_

'_The Intolerable Grandfather'_

'_Shock Lock'_

'_I Pledge' _

'_Jedi Baby Doc: PED'_

'_Nine Out of 10 Doctors Recommend Plaque'_

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The down side if having a baby early in the day is that visiting hours feel like an eternity.

Lara and Blaise stop by to see little Alex. Blaise pats Anakin on the back.

"Congratulations you dog! I guess we can count on you to keep this hospital running."

"Well, I do what I can."

"I heard you've already antagonized our head nurse in the maternity wing."

"I think she likes me."

"Yes, you're a real charmer. I know."

Lara and Isabel are chatting as Lara sits in the chair beside the bed holding the baby. Isabel is sitting up sharing a cup of fruit with Li-An.

"Li-An, are you going to help your mother with the new baby?"

"Yes."

"Isabel, Alex is beautiful. It looks like blue is the prevailing color scheme now. Were you hoping for a girl?"

"It would have been nice. My mother is just itching to see us have a little girl. I keep reminding her she has three granddaughters from my brothers. She says her daughters-in-law won't let her dress them up like proper young ladies."

"You mean like dolls. I saw your baby pictures. Oh, God, those holographs! Has Anakin seen them?"

"Yes. He called me a freak." She smoothes Li-An's hair as she speaks. "I'm happy. I have two beautiful little boys."

As the two women chat, a commotion is going on in the family waiting area.

"Where is he? I must see him."

Leia is walking with Han and her brother from the gift shop when she hears a familiar voice.

"Oh, crap. I know who that is."

As the three approach the room, they see the old de-cloaked 'Sith Master' himself. B-list theatre actor Grand Palpy walks into the room. He is decked out in his smoking jacket and red ascot. He is flanked by Tomo and Tiny, his attendants. He is technically still under house arrest. So as not to be embarrassed, Palpatine makes the 'one-ton' duo wear celebrity security badges. These are actually joke police id's from the kiddie store. Tomo and Tiny humor the old man by agreeing to wear the toy badges. They are also curious about meeting all of the people he claims to know.

Nakai sees the old coot heading in their direction with his 'entourage.'

"Holy 'sith', who let him in here?"

Palpatine shuffles pass the nurses. He greets them with a bright smile.

"Where is he? Where is the new addition?"

An orderly walks over to him. He blocks the entranceway to the visitor's room. A security guard is close by. Palpatine nods and waves his hands.

"Oh, I'm not taking any autographs now. I must visit my new grandson."

"I'm not looking for an autograph, sir. I need to see your visitor's pass."

"Do you know who I am, young man? I played in the senior production of "Guys and Dolls." I was the lead.

"Well, lead or no lead, you need a pass to be on this floor."

"Why?"

"Security reasons, Sir."

"Oh, that. Are they still holding that rap over my head? That was two years ago, I haven't tried to kidnap a baby since."

"Sir, you're going to have to come with us."

"No! No…no…no! I know my rights! Where's my son? Out of my way, Hoke!"

Palpatine waves the orderly aside. Tomo and Tiny look at one another and grin. They know that the old geezer is about to get an ass whipping for offending the orderly. Anakin steps in just in time.

"Excuse me. I apologize for the old man's behavior. He's senile…"

Palpatine is offended now.

"Anakin, that's not true and you know it! I am in full possession of my faculties!"

"Apologize to the gentleman and I won't hand you over. Do it now or I swear you'll be in the psych ward for a month."

Palpatine grumbles then releases a heavy sigh. He is humiliated as Anakin treats him like a misbehaving child. Han, Luke, and Leia are on the sofa in the family visiting room laughing. Han coughs from laughing so hard.

"He does remember he's powerless, doesn't he?"

Leia nods.

"Oh, he knows. He just doesn't expect anyone to turn on him because he's old. He thinks he can get away with obnoxious behavior."

The old man finally speaks to the orderly. He barely makes eye contact with the tall and muscular younger man. When he speaks, his voice is barely audible. He bows his head in shame. Han shakes his head in amazement.

"Is that why he took acting classes? What a performance! He's hamming it up!"

Palpatine appears contrite but Anakin knows better.

"I hope you accept my humble apology. I don't know what came over me."

Anakin looks at the orderly and security guard.

"Are you okay with this? I can hand him over to you at any time."

"Yeah, he can go, but these two have to stay downstairs at the security desk." Two additional security guards appear. They are equally as big as Tomo and Tiny who follow the security guards downstairs.

As the men leave, Palpatine pats Anakin on the shoulder and smiles.

"Good, good, my son. Now, where is the little angel?" He abruptly pushes Anakin aside and charges into the hospital room. He is carrying flowers he received from his latest stage performance.

Isabel looks up from her bed as she chats with Lara. A dark force is about to reach out and touch her.

"Isabel, You look lovely with each child…how are you my dear?" He puckers his lips and tries to give her a smooch. Isabel pulls away in horror.

"What the…Anakin!" She still has Li-An on her lap. Li-An whacks him on the head with the bowl.

Anakin storms into the room behind Palpatine. Li-An is laughing as the old man holds his hand to his head. When Anakin approaches the bed, Li-An puts on a performance of his own and starts to cry. Anakin takes the toddler in his arms.

"I know…I know…Are you alright?"

Palpatine feels his forehead for any sign of bleeding. "I'm not sure. I think I have a concussion."

Lara covers her mouth to keep from laughing. The baby is sleeping peacefully in her arms. Everyone in the family room is now standing at the window. Anakin gently rubs Li-An's back. He responds to the old man's concern about his 'injury'.

"I was speaking to my wife and son…And no, you don't have a concussion. Don't be silly."

Someone else in the room speaks.

'_Hit him again, Li-An. If he wants a concussion, let 'em have one.'_

Anakin turns towards the voice. It is 'Ghost Master' Mace Windu. Anakin smiles and rolls his eyes. Li-An waves to the ghost as he looks over his father's shoulder.

Palpatine sees the new baby on the other side of the bed. He decides no toddler is going to upstage him. He pretends to stagger around the bed. His voice is suddenly weak

"Anakin, son, I think I'm about to faint."

He feels his way around the bed. Lara looks up as Palpatine lumbers over to where she is sitting. She gets up to offer him the seat. He plops down in the chair then makes a gesture for her to hand him the baby. Mace is amazed at the nerve of the old man.

'_I don't 'effing' believe this. Anakin, are you going to let him get away with this?'_

Isabel apologizes.

"Lara, I am so sorry. This was quite unexpected."

"It's okay. I'm going to wait outside."

Isabel gives a scolding glance to her husband. Anakin shrugs like an imbecile then walks over to Palpatine.

"I told you to wait until I called you."

"Oh, you did? My mind must be slipping."

"Then perhaps you don't need to hold a baby."

He ignores Anakin and begins murmuring to the infant.

"Coochy, coochy-coo! What a lovely child. Anakin and Isabel, you must be proud. He's just beautiful! Yes you are!" He looks up at Anakin disapprovingly. "Yes…but really, Anakin…_ 'Windu'_? You named him after that …," He whispers. _'…colored man'_? What an insult."

'_Insult? I'll tell you what's an insult…your acting…yeah, we saw you in 'Pajama Game' People asked for their money back when they saw your wrinkled butt in those pajamas. And you're no 'Sky Masterson'. 'Luck Be a Lady Tonight!' My ass! Give me a break! That was the worst performance of 'Guys and Dolls' I've ever seen. Your acting sucks.'_

Qui-Gon appears. He is laughing already.

'_Mace, How about the scene in the other show where he tries to dance and almost breaks his hip? He hobbled off the stage.' _Qui-Gon starts singing._ 'When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way…'_

Anakin and the ghosts turn around. Isabel is laughing out loud.

"Bel?"

"What?"

"Can you …?" He nods his head in the direction of the two ghosts. He does not want Palpatine to know. He tries to Force speak to her. _'Bel, can you hear me? Nod if you can.'_ She nods then covers her mouth. She is as shocked as he is. Her eyes widen. Anakin grins.

Palpatine turns when he hears Isabel laughing.

"Are you alright, my dear? Anakin, get the doctor; I think she's having a breakdown. Send all those people away; they are keeping her from her recovery."

"She's just fine." He places Li-An on the bed with Isabel then takes the new baby. "Okay, old man, you've held him long enough. You have to leave now."

"But, Anakin, son, I just got here. Don't I get some quality time with my grandchildren?"

"They can only take so much. Go. You've already got poor Luke and Leia stressed out over there."

He points to the viewing window. The twins are laughing as Mace and Qui-Gon mock the old man. Palpatine appears hurt as he looks over at Anakin.

"You know, you could be more gracious. It's not as if we have a big family you know."

"We have plenty of friends and family. You're the one with no friends. My wife needs her rest."

"Very well. I'll wait outside with the others."

Mace calls out.

'_Yeah, get a move on. You has-been. Somebody get the hook and pull his ass off the stage.'_

This time Palpatine hears the voice. He points to the ceiling as he leaves. There is fear in his voice.

"Anakin, the voices. They're back. I think it's that horrible Mace Windu haunting me again."

"The psych ward is just upstairs you know…"

"I didn't hear a thing."

Palpatine turns up his nose and shuffles out of the room. He takes a seat in the corner. No one speaks to him.

Han whispers to Leia. "Look at the poor fella, sitting there in the corner all by himself. Old Grand Dad looks down in the dumps."

Leia glances back for a brief moment.

"Don't tell me you're starting to feel sorry for him. He is not to be trifled with, Han. He may be powerless but he's still dangerous."

"He used to be an important man…"

"Because others feared him."

"Leia, I don't believe in magic, a lot of superstitious hocus pocus. I'm going after a find of incredible historical significance; you're talking about the boogieman. Besides, you know what a cautious fellow I am."

"Yeah, right. You can be a careless smartass. Hasn't your experience with my father taught you a lesson?"

"Your dad kinda likes me now. This old man is child's play. I'd love to see what makes him tick."

Han walks over to the coffee table to help himself to some hors d'Oeuvres. As he pops a puff pastry into his mouth, he makes eye contact with the former Emperor. Han thinks about what Leia has just warned him. Just as he is about to turn away when a new 'opportunity' hits him. A sly smile forms on his face.

"Hey, pal, how are you doing?"

Palpatine lifts his head. He manages a faint smile. When he sees who it is, the smile turns to disgust

"Oh, it's you. Go away!" He waves Han away but the nerfherder pushes.

"Why are you sitting here all alone? No more _Hot Pockets_? The shaak puffs are pretty good if you don't mind all of that chic-chic food. Overall, it's a nice spread. Seems like if you want decent food in this hospital you have to come to the private maternity ward."

"Mr. Solo, what do you want?"

"I'm just mingling with the family."

"Is that so?" He reaches for his ankle to relieve an itch that is bothering him. You're a freeloader and you're still seeing my granddaughter, aren't you?"

"Guilty as charged. Any objections?"

"She torments me but I know deep down inside there is good in her. She loves me."

Han turns away and mutters to himself.

"Man, are you delusional."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Oh…nothing…."

The old man continues to scratch his ankle.

"Soo….Mr. Solo, how's the rum running business?"

"I'm not a rum runner…I did a 'Kessel Run.'"

"Ahh…yes. I remember you taking my grandson on some foolish excursion. I know all about the pizza incident. Quite the jokester pilot, aren't you?"

"I don't like to brag…" Han examines his nails then notices the old sith reaching to scratch his ankle again.

"What's wrong? Ankle bracelet chaffing you?"

"I had a busy week on stage. These restraints are quite uncomfortable."

"Why don't you ask the nurse for something?"

"They don't treat visitors…Miserable old cow."

"Tough luck, old man."

"It's my lot in life to suffer." The faint smile returns suddenly. "Han…you're an ambitious sort…tell me, Han, have you ever heard the story of Darth Plagueis the Wise?"

"The _who_?"

Palpatine is agitated.

"Did you go to school, _'Jethro'_? Why does no one know about Darth Plagueis? He's famous…He's in all the history books…. He was an amazing bloke…until I …his apprentice killed him in his sleep! Yes, yes, that's it!" He mocks Han's response to the question._ 'The who?' _The educational system is graduating a bunch of idiots!"

"You know, you could be a lot nicer. I was about to get you something for your chafed ankle, you old coot."

"Are you threatening me, Mr. Solo?"

"What? No! Never! What are you talking about…you nut!"

At the same time, Yoda, Obi-Wan, Aunt Ginger stop by to see the baby. Obi-Wan gives Anakin a hearty pat on the back.

"Anakin, he's beautiful. Li-An, I see you have a nice cushy place beside your mother."

"Baby Boda." Li-An points to the infant.

"Yes, I know. You're going to be a good big brother. Yoda looks at the baby sleeping in Isabel's arms. Everyone has forgotten about Han out in the family waiting area.

"In this joyous time, a great disturbance I sense."

Leia turns and screams. Han and the old man are in a scuffle outside. Han smashes Palpatine's face in the bread bowl filled with dip. They roll onto the floor.

"Don't make me hurt you, old man!"

Leia screams.

"Han!"

Isabel looks at her husband from her hospital bed.

"I had a feeling this was going to happen. Don't just stand there, Anakin, you started this mess. Go out there and break it up. Han's going to hurt him."

"Uhm…ok." Anakin takes his own good time.

The fight continues as Han takes a swing at the former Emperor. They knock over a lamp. The cord is tangled around Palpatine's leg. He reaches for Han.

"Now, master Jedi, you will die!" He tries to strangle Han. Han can barely speak

"I'm...not…a…Jedi…you … senile … old buzzard."

Anakin laughs to himself as he watches this. Isabel gives him a dirty look. He sulks.

"Oh, _'sith'."_

Anakin pretends to intervene. He tries to get their attention by clapping his hands together.

"Alright you two…break it up. This is a hospital." He rolls his eyes then sighs. "I don't _'effing' _believe this."

Just as he walks into the room, a blaze of lightning zaps between the two men. Palpatine sees Han shake involuntarily. The old geezer is delightfully surprised. He examines his hands.

"I got my powers back! Heeheehee! I knew it! I knew I would get them back one day!" He is giddy.

Palpatine thrusts his hand in Han's face. Nothing happens. He tries again. Han is stunned already from the first burst of lightning. He tries to roll away but someone grabs the old man by the collar of his smoking jacket just in time. Han is saved.

"Alright, gramps…settle down."

It is Nakai. He places Palpatine in the chair. Obi-Wan and Isabel's brother Stephan help Han back to his feet. He is wobbly. Leia hurries over to him. Stephan gestures for her to stand back. She looks at her beloved.

"Han! I love you…Oh, Han, you look terrible." She starts to laugh as Stephan holds onto Han with a towel given to him by Luke. No one wants an after-shock. Luke is laughing. Han is able to speak but he is dazed.

"Am I dead?"

Luke covers his mouth to keep from laughing.

"No, you're not dead. Not by a long shot."

Leia gasps as she looks at Han's face

"But Han, your hair…"

The two men try to get Han to sit on the sofa but he manages to stumble to the mirror on the wall next to where the table lamp used to be.

"He tried to kill me with that blue lightning….Is this permanent?"

Leia watches as an equally stunned Palpatine sits across from Han. Stephan unravels the cord from the old man's ankle. It is tangled around his restraining cuffs.

"Han, you didn't get hit with Dark Lightning. You got a shock from the broken lamp over there."

"What?"

Palpatine is equally surprised. It is a disappointing revelation for him.

"What?" He turns to Anakin.

"Shut up, you….and you didn't get your powers back. You got a shock from the restraining cuffs when you tripped over the lamp."

Yoda stands in the doorway and rubs his head. He turns and sees all four Force Ghosts laughing hysterically. Li-An is applauding and giggling in the next room. He points to the window.

"Mamee, fiyawooks! Again! Yaah!"

Yoda wags his gimer stick at the ghosts.

"Disgrace this is! Shameful! An example you must set for young ones!"

Qui-Gon shrugs and rolls his eyes as Yoda scolds them.

'_Li-An thought it was funny. He's having a good time. Look!'_

The chaos is soon interrupted by another disturbance.

"What the hell happened in here?"

The Ghosts start to disappear then decide to reappear once they remember they are spirits. Anakin walks over to Nurse Ratched.

"Milady, I apologize for the accident…"

"This was no accident! What happened to the old man? He's injured."

Anakin is incensed. "What? He's fine, don't worry about him."

"His nose is broken! Are you all crazy?"

Mace points as he stands at the window in side Isabel's room.

'_Yeah, they're crazy! Every single one of them. The father-in-law, the smart mouth boyfriend, the mother-in-law…let's pray she doesn't dress these two little ones, Isabel. You'd better watch her. The twins are crazy for sure. Old 'Obi-Wanna Drink', Aunt Ginger the lap dancer…where did she go? She's trying to make a move on your detective brother. Isn't he married? Palpatine, that 'mofo'….oops, sorry, I forgot my promise to Anakin about the profanity. That nurse is certifiable…what a crazy bit…oops. Sorry.'_

Qui-Gon looks at Mace.

'_Mace, do you have a problem?'_

Aayla Secura laughs.

'_He's going to need some practice.'_

'_I promise I'll clean up my language, Isabel. I swear…not curse- swear, I swear…I…'_

Ki-Adi Mundi interrupts.

'_I believe the word you're looking for is 'I Pledge.'_

'_Mofo, did I ask you to help me with my grammar? Isabel, I pledge...' _He gives Ki-Adi Mundi a dirty look. He raises his right hand. Isabel doesn't trust him. She covers Li-An's ears. _'I pledge to clean up my language; I will be careful what I say in front of the young ones…so help me, even if I absolutely, positively got to kill every 'mofo' in the room, to do it.'_

Qui-Gon nods and shrugs his shoulders.

'_Not bad…it's a start.'_

Mace waits for her response. Isabel knows he means well. She accepts his 'pledge' because, she figures that's as good as it's ever going to get.

'Thank you, Master Windu.'

Meanwhile Anakin is trying to make peace after the calamity in the family waiting area. Nurse Ratched is giving him a piece of her mind. Two orderlies tend to Palpatine's injuries. They bring in a wheel chair and take him to the infirmary behind the nurse's station.

Han stands up. His hair is also standing on end as if his head were being sucked up by a giant magnet or vacuum. Leia tries to smooth it but it won't move.

"Well…you can always shave it off. Your hair grows back fast."

"I can't walk around like this, Leia."

"Let's go downstairs to the gift shop and find a nice hat for you." She kisses him on his left cheek.

Anakin is getting the third degree by '_Nurse Crazy_.' Obi-Wan steps in to mediate.

"Madame, may I suggest that Mr. Skywalker make a donation to the hospital as restitution for the damages."

"I'll have to speak to the chief of staff but I suppose we can come to an amicable agreement."

"See? Another happy end to a potentially disastrous day." Obi-Wan kisses her hand. Nurse Ratched gushes.

"Oh, Master Kenobi, you are so charming."

Obi-Wan bows slightly. Anakin rolls his eyes as the nurse leaves.

"I could have handled that!"

"Anakin, you turned the waiting area into a war zone."

"It wasn't my fault."

"You knew exactly what Han was going to do. He incited a near riot."

"Alright, yes, I knew. But it was funny as hell watching him getting his ass whipped."

"Anakin, go back inside to your wife and children."

Anakin obeys; just as he walks in, he hears a voice.

"Well, Mr. Skywalker, we meet again! It's good to see you. I'm here to look in on the new arrival."

"Oh, it's you." Anakin rolls his eyes and scowls at the doctor.

"Yes, Anakin, I'm the _quack_ Jedi baby doctor. Miss me?"

"Like a lightsaber through my torso. Hurry up and do your thing you incompetent boob."

Isabel hears him.

"Anakin, be nice. Apologize."

"Dr. Welby, I apologize. I have nothing but the highest respect for your profession. I know you will provide the best care for my new son. "

"Why, Anakin, I'm flattered. That's the nicest compliment I had all day."

In the infirmary, Nurse Ratched tapes Palpatine's nose.

"Keep still. How's that feel?"

He speaks as if his nose is stopped up. It is.

"Fyne. You're uh berry nice lady…Tell, me, hab you ebber herb uhb Darf Pages duh Vise?"

"The who?"

"Nebber mind." He waves his hand. He lets out a muffled sigh. The cotton gauze is packed up his nostrils. His breathing is uneven and labored.

Meanwhile, in the hospital gift shop, Leia makes Han try on a few hats. He settles on a brown felt fedora. He plops it on his head. The cashier sees Han's electrified _'Do'_

"Headwear is not returnable, Sir."

"Hun, do I look as I'm going to return this?" He mocks the cashier. Leia pretends to clear her throat as she laughs at him.

As the cashier is ringing up the sale, Han grabs something off the clothing rack and tries it on. He speaks to Leia.

"How's it look?"

"Going on a treasure hunt?"

"He removes the garment and tosses it on the counter. Leia smiles. She likes the fresh smell of freshly tanned Dewback leather. She hands her credit card to the cashier then turns to Han.

"It's on me. If it weren't for my crazy family, you wouldn't be in this predicament."

"I'm a kept man? Ohh, I think I'm going to like this." He smiles as he adjusts his new hat.

"About that…don't tell my father about the jacket or he'll go ape crazy. I mean it, Han. Don't annoy him any more than you do already."

"Alright. Fine. He's so touchy."

The janitorial staff cleans up the disaster in the family visitor's room. Anakin writes a check out to the hospital. Alex goes home with his parents after a few days. The hospital room and visitor's room is renovated three months later. There is a plaque on the wall outside the door:

'_The Skywalker-Windu Suite'_

Nurse Ratched thinks the plaque adds the right touch to the executive maternity wing. She misses the Skywalkers already. She hopes to see them again soon…but not too soon.

_To be continued… 'Hold Onto Your Brothers' Keeper '_

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_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this heart wrenching story of rebirth and forgiveness.**_

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------****--**


	108. Chapter 108 Brother's Keeper

_Chapter 108_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Hold Onto Your Brothers' Keeper'_

'_If I had a Hammer' _

'_Alarmed and Tethered'_

'_Childhood Memories'_

'_Do these Kids Make Me Look Married?'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Nearly four months pass since that joyful day in the now enshrined 'Skywalker-Windu Suite' at Coruscant University Hospital.

Anakin joins Isabel on Alex's third doctor visit. Their favorite pediatrician enters the room.

"Good morning, everyone. Isabel, you're beautiful as ever. Please, have a seat. These boys keeping you busy?"

She sits on an antique upholstered settee. He detests those hard modular chairs. He wants his patients and their families to relax comfortably. Isabel is ready to answer any questions as she awaits the exam. The first two went well. Her mother accompanied her during the last visit. Anakin was busy parking the speeder during the first and missed everything. Isabel assured him it was only five minutes long and uneventful.

"Thank you. Yes, they keep me on my toes. I never have to worry about being alone."

He glances at Anakin who gives the doctor a half-approving nod. "Good morning, Mr. Skywalker."

"Hey, what's up?" The dark lord folds his arms across his chest. It is not an enthusiastic greeting.

The good doctor reviews the patient data pad.

"Li-An are you here for a check-up too?"

"No." Li-An walks close to his mother and holds onto her arm.

Isabel nods 'Yes'. The kindly physician smiles at the child then winks back at her. He looks in Li-An's general direction so as not to frighten him. Li-An huddles closer to his mother as he clutches his stuffed boga.

"If I give you a treat, will you grant me permission to take a look at you?"

Li-An nods an enthusiastic 'yes.'

Anakin mutters to himself. "Sellout."

An agreement is reached and the doctor lifts the toddler onto the examining table.

"Now, let's show your little brother how easy it is." Just as he is about to examine the tot, Li-An tries to crawl to the other side of the table.

"Nooo! Mama!"

The doctor turns to Anakin as he holds onto Li-An.

"I see we're going to need to bring in your support group. Dad, you want to lend a hand over here, please?" Anakin walks over but not before making a face only his wife can see. Anakin forgets whom he is dealing with now. A Jedi physician hears and sees everything. "Make your funny facial expressions another time, Anakin."

Anakin stands next to the table and rubs Li-An's head to comfort him.

"Li, it's cool. You'll be done in a sec."

"Anakin, why don't you sit with him? It will make him feel more at ease."

Anakin looks down at his young son. Li-An's pout is breaking his heart. He hops onto the examining table beside his son.

"Watch me, Li." He opens his mouth. "Aaaaaaah…" The doctor taps Anakin on the knee with a reflex hammer. "Ow! Hey!"

He scowls at the doctor but Li-An laughs. So does the doctor.

"That is not what I wanted you to do. Turn your head…"

"Aren't you supposed to be examining my son?"

"I'll get to him…Li-An, would you like to hold the reflex hammer?" Li-An nods 'Yes.' "…But I'll need to see if you're stronger than your dad, okay?" He taps Li-An on the right knee, then the left. He tests his arms. After this brief 'test', he hands the reflex hammer to the child. Li-An taps Anakin as the doctor checks Li-An's ears with the otoscope.

Isabel sits holding Alex and smiles at the 'two patients' on the examining table. Anakin glances over at her.

"What are you grinning for? I don't see you up here supporting your child."

"You're doing a great job, sweetie."

"You bet I am!"

The doctor praises Li-An.

"Excellent! Now, can you make a sound like a nexu? Give me a big growl."

Li-An raises his arms in a 'threatening' pose. He bears his teeth and growls.

"Snar! Snar!"

"Very good! You make an excellent nexu. You had me fooled! I was scared for a moment." He flashes a light into Li-An's mouth. "I see that you've eaten a reek! It's in your belly." He tickles him. You're a very powerful nexu. No one is going to mess with you! Want to help me again?"

Li-An nods 'Yes.' The fear is melting away and Li-An speaks in a soft voice.

"Yes."

"How about I let you practice giving your daddy an injection? Here you go." Li-An takes the plastic toy syringe and pokes his father with it. Anakin laughs.

"Are you going to stick me with that? Huh?"

The doctor administers the real injection into Li-An then applies an Ewok printed bandage. He charges up the injection gun again and sticks Anakin, catching him off-guard. Anakin gives the doctor another dirty look.

"Hey! What did you do that for?"

"I hate to waste medicine."

"What? You gave me an injection I don't need?" Li-An whacks his father with the hammer again. "Ow! Li, that's enough, honey." He looks at the doctor again as he takes Li-An and slides off the examining table. "Are you done?"

"With him, yes. Li-An, you did a great job. You can be my assistant anytime. He hands Li-An a pera pop then winks at Isabel. I'll be with Alex in a second. Mr. Skywalker, hop back on the table again?"

"Why"

"I just want to check something. Tilt your head to the side, please?" He uses the otoscope to check Anakin's ears. "….hmmmm…nothing going on in here"

Isabel tries not to laugh but she does have a sheepish grin on her face. Dr. Marcus continues the exam.

"Open." Anakin rolls his eyes then obliges. Dr. Marcus flashes a light into Anakin's mouth. "Hmmmm…You need those removed."

"What removed?"

"Your tonsils. Your adenoids. Do you have trouble sleeping at night?"

Isabel interrupts.

"I do. His snoring is unbearable at times."

Anakin is offended.

"I don't snore and why are you telling him all of the intimate details of our sex life?"

"What? He's talking about your tonsils…never mind." She rubs her head.

The doctor is hearing more than he bargained for during this exam. He just smiles and continues his examination.

"Anakin, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. Men your age have this all the time."

"Aren't you a baby doctor?"

"First and foremost, I'm a doctor. If I see something that needs medical attention, I'm going to say so. All I'm suggesting is that they need to come out. You can lead a perfectly normal life without them."

"Says you!"

Isabel speaks.

"Doctor, if he doesn't have them removed, then what?"

"They'll get infected and then they will still need to be removed."

Anakin points to the baby.

"Why don't you take care of him? That's what we're paying you for."

The doctor takes Alex, plays with him a bit, and then gives him a patch on his thigh in place of an actual injection.

"He's a perfectly healthy infant. Here you are, my dear."

He hands him back to Isabel. Alex is smiling as she bounces him gently on her lap.

Anakin looks.

"You gave us injections and all he gets is a patch?"

"He's an infant. I'm no monster. Why make him suffer the pain of an injection when we can administer gentle inoculation?"

"Oh….So, are we done? You're not going to hook my wife up to any electrodes or anything, are you?"

"No, Mr. Skywalker. I'm done…everyone is free to go. Isabel, good to see you as always. Li-An, next visit, we'll play eye exam. I'll see Alex in a few months."

Isabel takes Li-An by the hand.

"Thank you, Dr. Marcus."

"Bye now."

Anakin ushers his family out of the office.

"Crackpot! I should give him a piece of my mind. You know, I think I will. Wait for me at the front desk."

"Anakin, don't do or say anything stupid."

"Relax! I know how to handle myself."

Isabel waits in the reception area. The nurse smiles at them. Isabel is waiting for the next embarrassing moment.

Anakin goes to the doctor's office. Mr. Marcus looks up from a data chart he is reviewing.

"Oh. Hello, Mr. Skywalker."

"Hey…I thought I deserve the same treat…" The doctor picks up a jar from his desk and holds it in front of Anakin. Anakin looks and puts his hand inside. He looks at the doctor again. "Can I have two?"

"Knock yourself out."

"Thanks."

Isabel sees her husband emerging from the hallway.

"So, are we permitted back, or have you ruined this for us too? Oh, Geez."

She sees why he went back to speak to the doctor. He is sucking on a pera pop of his own with three more stuffed in his back pocket.

"I'm ready. Let's go."

Before they head home, Anakin stops off at the mall to make a purchase. Isabel follows him down the aisle of the store as she pushes the stroller.

"Anakin, are you sure this is the right thing to do? You're going to piss them off."

"This is important to keep our family together."

"It's not fair. I would never do it would you, Anakin? I can't support you on this."

"That's because you coddle them. I'm laying down the law. I do all the dirty work. But that's okay. I bear the burden as a parent. So, what color should I buy red or blue?" He looks at her. Isabel refuses to answer and continues down the aisle with the children. "I'll get the red. It shows up better. "He sees her walking away. " Little Miss 'Judgmental.'" He imitates her. _'It's not fair. I would never do it.' _"

An old woman is staring at him as he talks to himself in the aisle. He turns to her.

"What? Mind your own business!"

**_A Week Passes_**

Luke and Leia have been enjoying active social lives. They spend hours away from home, sometimes not joining the family for dinner. Anakin surmises that 'Scruffy Nerfherder' and 'Red Menace Barbie' are the culprits. Anakin is looking for the opportune time to show off his purchase.

Leia is preparing to go out one morning. Anakin greets her with a bright smile. He is carrying Alex. Skippy walks beside him.

"Leia, honey! How's my favorite girl?"

"Fine, Dad…being that I'm your only girl. What is it? I have to go." She leans over and kisses the baby. Hello, Alex, I don't get to spend enough time with you. Yes! You darling baby. Dad, what have you got on him?"

"It's something new. Try it out for me. Let me know what you think."

"Oh…ok…"

Anakin slips a red baby harness over her shoulders. Alex coos and kicks his little legs.

"How's that feel?"

"Great. It doesn't pinch like the baby carrier you always complain about using."

"Good. Li, where are you? Come on, you're going out."

Leia sees her little brother. He has something trailing behind him. It is a 'leash' attached a red to a harness.

"Oh, Li has a matching one. He's trusted up like a little pet." She laughs. Anakin laughs with her.

"Take your sister's hand." Li-An is carrying his stuffed toy boga. Suddenly the laughter dies down and Leia's smile gradually fades.

"Dad, what's going on?"

"Oh, here are extra diapers for Alex and pants for Li. He might have a little accident. He's unpredictable that way. He has an aversion to toilets. Something about getting swallowed up. He'll get over it….eventually."

"What!"

"Relax; you might not have to worry about it."

"Not that! I'm going out. You're expecting me to tote my little brothers along?"

"Are you embarrassed by your little brothers? Look at Li-An, he adores you. Don't you, Li?"

"I love you Layla." He hugs her leg.

Anakin kisses Alex on his head.

"And look at little Alex. He's so thrilled." Alex breaks into a big smile and coos.

"Daddy, I can't walk around with two kids. People are going to think they're mine. What guys are going to look at me?"

"Guys? What happened to _'Snakes on a plane'_ Solo?"

"That has nothing to do with it. I still like to get attention. What's wrong with you and Mom? Why can't you take them? Why me, and not Luke?"

"Your mother and I need some 'us' time. Don't be selfish, Leia. Now go enjoy yourself. Feed Alex in an hour. Li likes those _'Duckettes'_ at Ewok Village Burgerland… Oh, no mustarfries, or else he'll barf all over you. Off you go now. Byee!"

Li-An waves to his father.

"Bye-bye, Daddy."

"Bye honey. Stay close to your sister. Leia, I've got the monitor so if he gets more than a meter ahead of you, the beeper will sound."

He holds up a silver oval-shaped device no bigger than a credit card. It has three lights on it: red, amber, and green. Leia stares at it as her father dangles the device before her. He slips it on his pants belt loop. Leia shakes her head.

"I don't believe this."

"Have fun!"

Anakin ushers her out the door. She just realizes she cannot take her speeder. She walks over to the YUV. Leia fastens her siblings into their car seats.

When she arrives at her destination, Han is there to greet her. She opens the driver-side door and steps out of the vehicle. Han laughs.

"Hey, what's with the Old Mother Hubbard car?"

Leia points over her shoulder.

"Take a look inside."

"What the…Why do you have your brothers in the…Don't tell me…it's him."

"Yes, he did it again, Han. It's not right. I would have been cool about it but he was so gleeful. How does he stumble across these evil schemes?"

"You really need an answer to that? That's your dad. So where are you dropping them off, their grandparents?"

"No. I have them all…"

'_Beep…Beep…Beep'_

A soft female computer generated voice speaks after the alarm.

'_Warning…Precious cargo beyond the 1-meter safety zone. Please retrieve infant life forms…Warning…warning law enforcement to arrive in ten, nine, eight, seven…six…'_

Han looks around.

"What the hell is that?"

"Han, stop asking questions and grab a kid…fast!"

Anakin is at home in his study watching the amber light blink. It is slowly merging with the red. After a few seconds, it flashes from amber to green. He laughs out loud.

" '_Sith!'_ This thing actually works. Skippy, my daughter has not disappointed me. She's doing good…although…that Han Solo is still a blemish on her record, but she's doing ok. Now I can watch the games without little sticky fingers Li-An changing the channel.

Meanwhile, Leia and Han are in Ewok Village Burgerland surrounded by children…lots of children, screaming, whining barfing children and their exhausted parents. Li-An appears to be the only calm toddler in the place. He is busy playing with toys inside his Youngling Happy Meal. He nibbles on 'Duckettes' and drinks his blue milk sans pommes frites which Han has taken. Alex has finished a bottle. He is sound asleep in the baby carrier. Leia thinks back to her first visit here with her father. She remembers how nervous he was, how panicked be became when trying to appease his children. She was not a cooperative child back then. If she knew then what she knows, now, she would have made it easier for him. She looks across the table at Li-An. He reminds her of Luke at this age. Easy to please and quiet. She is glad to spend this time with him. It makes her smile. Han seems to enjoy sitting with him too.

Someone approaches the table. It is a tall creature breathing through a mask.

"Good day, young family! I'm Wicky Wicket, your Ewok Village ambassador! I'm here to invite you to participate in our new Younglings Love Burgers Promotion…and what a fine family you are!

Han and Leia are stunned. Li-An claps.

"Yaaaah!"

The giant Ewok is actually a hired actor from an agency sent in to help the burger chain promote their new 'Fans & Family Event.'

"You can win a free trip to Ewokland and meet all of the characters as seen on the popular children's show 'Wicky Wicket's Friends on Endor!"

Leia stops the giant Ewok.

"No thanks…you see…"

He leans in and whispers to her and Han.

"Awww, man, help me out here. I gotta pick a family so I can get out of this gig. It's hot in this suit."

Something about the voice inside the suit sounds familiar to Leia. She squints to sense who it is.

"Nelson? Is that you?"

"Leia? Oh geez! Wow, yeah, it's me. See?" He looks around then lifts the furry headpiece. His hair is smashed against his head from sweating in the hot suit. "Oh, I'd better slip this back on. I got fired from my last gig when I removed my headpiece. This old lady thought a Wampa ate me and she fainted. Ha-ha! So, when did you get married?"

"Oh, I'm not married. The little ones are my brothers."

"Oh…"

"So, you're still single. Wow."

Han looks up as Nelson speaks through the giant headpiece. He clears his throat to get Leia's attention across the table.

"Oh yeah. Nelson, this is my boyfriend, Han."

"Cool. Hey, Dude."

"Hey, pal." Han gives Leia a 'look.'

Leia ignore's Han's facial expressions. She is curious about her old grade school classmate.

"So, why are you doing this?"

"My cousin couldn't do it. He got drunk during a bachelor party and woke up late so he asked me to stand in for him and I could keep the money."

"Oh, Ok."

"I'm working my way through grad school at Coruscant State."

"Oh, great. I graduate this year."

"Cool. I have another year to go."

There are many awkward pauses. Finally, Li-An calls out to the Ewok.

"Dance!" He tips his head side to side as if he can hear the tune in his head.

"Oh, yeah…I don't want to disappoint the kids."

Nelson goes into a clumsy two-step routine. He reminds Leia of a drunken Ewok more than a happy prancing one she remembers as a child. He sings little song as he does this.

_If you're a happy Ewok, let everybody know it._

_If you're a happy Ewok, swing your arms and show it_

_Happy, happy, happy Ewoks love to dance and sing! Tada!_

There is a deafening silence. Li-An stands in his seat applauding.

"Yeaaaa! Happy happy!"

Han sits him down.

"Take it easy there, pal. Make him work for your applause."

"Again!"

"No, I think the Happy Ewok needs a rest."

Nelson is gasping for air inside the big suit. Leia smiles. She gives him a big hug.

"Good to see you, _Nel-son_."

"Good to see you too, Leia." He whispers in her ear. See you around, _Nemesis_"

Nelson waves to Li-An then gives him a free poster and an official Ewok Village Compass.

He mingles through the crowd to repeat his dance routine. Han looks across the table at Leia.

He mocks her.

"_Oh, yeah, him…he's my boyfriend."_

"What? You're jealous!"

"Really? I don't think so. I'm hardly jealous of a guy lumbering around in a sweaty, smelly costume. Did you kiss him?"

"No!"

"Oh, right, that was Kyp you did the tongue-lock with all those years ago."

"I'm going to ignore you."

"What's new?"

"Grab my brother so we can leave this place."

Han Helps Leia with the children. She returns home. Threepio greets her.

"Miss. Leia, so good to see you."

"Thank, Threepio. Where's my father?"

"Oh, dear, I was supposed to give him the signal when you arrived in the parking bay. I'll go get him."

Anakin is standing behind the droid.

"Relax, Threepio. Hey, Sweet pea. How was your day?"

"Not bad. We went to the playground and to Ewok Village Burgerland. Li had a great time."

"Good. I'll take these two off your hands."

"It's ok. I'll take Alex upstairs. Did you get yelled at?"

"Yes, the 'She-devil' was riding my ass all afternoon. Did 'Nerfherder' run when he saw you with the tots?"

"No, he rather enjoyed it."

"I'll take Li-An. We have to watch _'Chewie and Boga' _in my study."

"I think he wants a nap."

"Oh. Okay. Thanks."

"No. Thank you, Daddy."

She gives her father a long hug before taking Alex upstairs. Anakin goes into the study, draws the shades and places a now sleeping Li-An on the sofa. He turns the channel from pod racing to _'The Chewie and Boga Show.'_ He turns down the volume.

Anakin feels something in the seat cushion. He reaches under it and pulls out the good doctor's reflex hammer. Anakin laughs. He wonders how long it will take the old quack to discover it is missing. He looks down at his sleeping son. Life is good.

_To be continued… 'Graduations and Birthday Parties'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this heart wrenching story of rebirth and forgiveness.**_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**


	109. Chapter 109 Graduations and Birthdays

_Chapter 109_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Baptisms, Graduations and Birthdays, Oh My!'_

'_To My Dad'_

'_Super Intergalactic Soakers'_

'_Ghost Tales'_

'_Potty Time, Like We Did Last Summer'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

It has been an uneventful time mostly, except for the standard party and baptism. Alex is a real trooper. Li-An is glad to have a playmate close to his own age. Obi-Wan and Adi Gallia step in as godparents once more when Alex turns 4 months old. Palpatine cringes when the Jedi Priest announces the infant's name:

_Alexander Zeus Windu Skywalker_

Isabel takes issue with the 'Zeus' part since Anakin had not discussed this with her. She gives him a dirty look as they stand at the baptismal font. Anakin looks back with a dumb grin. Master Windu whispers to Anakin.

'_Anakin, which 'Zeus' story did you tell her?'_

"Well, obviously it was the wrong one. She looks as if she's going to slice me in half."

Master Windu looks at Anakin suspiciously.

'_Anakin, something is wrong with you.'_

"Don't judge me. I did the best I could."

'_Are you sure you're not her real case study? A mind is a terrible thing to waste, you know.'_

In the same week, Anakin prepares to attend his daughter's graduation. Nakai and Ouisanne arrive at the house to watch Li-An and Alex. Isabel is in her dressing room while her parents are downstairs with Alex. Li-An charges into his parent's room.

"Isabow! Nana and Grand pop are here."

"Thank you, Sweetie."

"Are we going out too?"

He checks the night table for _'things of interest'_ then grabs the footstool near his mother's side of the bed. He climbs up to the bed wearing his fluffy green boga slippers. He is also wearing a black silk screened 'Tuskin' Rayders' kiddie t-shirt. It is a gift from Luke when he spent a week surfing on the Dune Sea with his friends.

"No, Sweetie…why?"

"She's _wahwing_ her _'purls'_ again."

"No, she just likes to look beautiful for her grandchildren. Li-An, what are you doing out there?"

"Why?"

"It's too quiet out there. You're not getting into anything you shouldn't or jumping on the bed, or eating. Are you?"

Anakin has just come out of the shower in his private bathroom. He is wrapped in a towel. Li-An sees him and smiles. Anakin holds his finger to his lips. Li-An answers his mother.

"What, Mammee?"

"I said… are you jumping on the bed with food in your mouth?"

Li-An watches his father, then hands over his lollipop and stops jumping on the bed.

"No."

"Good boy. Is your father dressed yet? Tell him the attire is black-tie, not bath towel blue."

"Ok." Li-An relays the message. Isabel can hear everything. "Dad? I can't 'member those _'attywaws.'_"

Anakin gives his young son the 'thumbs up' sign then walks into his closet to get his clothes. He figures he should be grateful. 'Little Miss Perfect' has set out his clothes for the night. Isabel does not like to do this but she knows that Anakin tends to requires a bit of discretionary mothering. This is why she is glad when her mother comes to visit because Ouisanne spoils Anakin. Isabel is happier playing the role of wife and best friend.

Isabel finally emerges dressed. Anakin appears moments later.

"What took you so long? All you had to do was pull on a dress." He winks over at Li-An. Isabel carries her shoes in her hands.

"Don't make me use these shoes before I put them on my feet."

"You look real good, honey. Well worth the time spent in there…with all the hard work…it took…taking all that time…" Anakin sees he had better stop talking. He calls over to Li-An. "Li, you stayed in one place this whole time? You're good! Let's go."

"I want to be a star cawooser."

"Do you have 'dry' star cruiser pants?"

"Yes. See?" He lifts his shirt to reveal his Ewok pull-ups.

"Hmmm…hop on. We'll have a talk tomorrow."

"Okay."

"Yeah, you said that last time."

Meanwhile, downstairs Nakai and Ouisanne are chatting with someone.

"Leia's on her way down. So, come in and have a seat."

"Yeah, I keep forgetting women take time with this stuff."

Ouisanne gently strokes Alex on his back as he smiles down at Skippy and Li'l Hellraiser.

"Han, you're going to appreciate all the work she's done. She looks gorgeous."

Isabel comes downstairs followed by Anakin and Li-An.

"Hi, Daddy, Hi, Mom...Hello, Han."

Han stands. He is holding something in his hands.

"Hello, Isabel…I mean, Mrs. Skywalker…. Wow! Great dress. You look great in dark blue."

"Why, thank you, Han. You look handsome this evening."

"Thanks."

Nakai stops to speak to Anakin for a moment.

"Hey, Anakin, you look great."

"Thanks. I appreciate you and Mom doing this for us." He removes Li-An from his shoulders and lets him run over to the sofa to join his grandmother and Alex.

"Oh, Luke called. He's arranging to have Owen's shipped towed to a shop across town. He's picking them up and taking them directly to the university."

"Oh, I was about to call him. Thanks. Leave it to Owen to get stuck." He turns to see Han Solo sitting with the women. Isabel is about to put on her shoes. He looks at the clear box Han is holding. "Solo."

Han stands and follows Anakin to the terrace. "Hello, Sir."

"So, Han, what's with the corsage? This isn't her Junior Prom. You still got your brain set on _'jailbait'_? I'll take that box." He hides it on a metal end table near one of the lemon tree plants.

Leia finally appears at the top of the stairs as the two men walk into the living room. She is wearing a white silk chiffon goddess gown. Her scarlet graduation robe and cap drapes over her arm. Her hair is pulled back into an elegant ponytail. Ouisanne helps her with this. She looks beautiful. Anakin looks up at his daughter and smiles.

"You look gorgeous, Honey."

"Thanks, Daddy." She reaches the bottom of the steps. Nakai gives her a kiss on the cheek and hands her a gift. Thank you, Grand Pop. Shall I open it now?"

"Of course, Sweetie."

Leia opens the card and reads the note.

'_Congratulations, Granddaughter. I know you will put this to good use.'_

_Love, Grand Pop and Nana_

Leia finds a cheque for 5000 credits. When she opens the gift box, she finds a platinum locket for her graduation button.

Grand Pop, it's beautiful. Now I can wear my button on my graduation sash. It's perfect."

"I'm glad you like it, Sweetie."

"I do. I do." She looks at her father. "Hi, Daddy."

Anakin kisses her.

"Hi, Sweet Pea."

"What have you got for me? I know you can't wait."

He hands her a velvet box.

"This is from your mom and me."

Leia looks at Isabel who finally slips on her other shoe and walks over to join Anakin. Leia smiles at her. She opens the box. It is a blue diamond nameplate engraved with her name.

_Leia Skywalker_

Anakin points to the rare and beautiful stone.

"You don't have anything with your name on it. I remember you admired my nameplate so much. So…when you finally stop smooching off me and get yourself a real job with a real office, you'll be all set."

"Oh, Daddy, you always know the right words to say."

"You got that right."

"Thank you, Daddy." She hugs him then winks over her father's shoulder at Isabel.

"Now go give your mother a hug. She picked out the stone."

Leia rolls her eyes and gives Isabel a 'knowing' glance. She reaches over and hugs Isabel. She whispers in her ear.

"One day you'll be in this house all alone with him. Try to keep from killing him."

"I'll try. Congratulations, Leia."

"I wouldn't have gone to grad school if it weren't for you. You inspired me."

"I'm really proud of you."

Leia sees Han and walks over to him.

"So, did you get it?"

"Well…yeah but…"

"Well, where is it? I've been waiting for it all day."

"He said…."

"Where is it, Han?"

"Out on the patio."

They go out onto the patio. She squeals with delight.

"Well? Put it on me! Hurry up! Oooh, I'm so excited!" He removes the corsage from the diamond-shaped crystal box and slips it on her wrist. She gushes. "Thank you, Han. It's beautiful."

"Your father is going to be annoyed."

"I know. Isn't it great?"

From inside Anakin calls everyone.

"Alright, let's get this show on the road, people!"

Threepio walks over to Leia.

"Mistress Leia, you look absolutely scholarly today."

"Thank you, Threepio."

Anakin barks again. "Come on, let's go!" He sees the corsage and scowls. Isabel pinches him.

"Behave yourself."

Mon Mothma School of Political Science - Garden Afternoon

The diplomas and honors awards are distributed. Luke sits between Han and Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. Anakin, Isabel, Ruwee and Jobal, Obi-Wan, Gladys Pi-Lippa Jensen and her husband Uli, the Judge who presided over Luke and Leia's case, and her husband are in the first row directly in front of Luke. Luke is glad to be in the second row. He can chuckle with Han about the entire stuffy faculty sitting on the stage. Palpatine is at the end of the third row behind Luke. He is annoyed at being shuffled behind the family. He is stuck standing next to Ric Olié who has a better view. Aunt Sola is one of the guest senators seated in a special section. She smiles over at Leia.

Emeritus Professor Mon Mothma introduces Leia.

"It gives me great pleasure to introduce a graduate with whom I have mentored over the years. I knew her mother, the honorable Senator Amidala. Neither of us knew that the senator's daughter would be standing before her graduating class to speak on this day. I know the senator would be proud. Here, to speak to us is Summa Cum Laude graduate, Leia Skywalker.

Leia approaches the podium to give her speech.

"Good afternoon, distinguished faculty, honored guests, family, friends, and fellow graduates. I am honored to stand before you all. Many of you served in the Galactic Senate with my mother many years ago. I must say I am truly humbled by your support and kind words. I trust I can follow her example and continue her work helping to secure the rights of the poor and disadvantaged across the galaxy. I can only image how proud she would be to see the trend continuing.

I was planning to give a speech on the importance of getting involved and helping others who don't have a voice. Instead, I want to talk about someone who has helped more people than anyone knows about and he has never sought credit or praise. I want to talk about someone who too his voice to keep his family together and still found time to help others.

Some would say I grew up privileged and spoiled. I plead guilty to both charges. Yes, my 'Daddy' paid my tuition through all my years of school. He paid my tuition to grad school provided I commute to school and volunteer at the university Intergalactic Outreach Programme to repatriate people displaced and nearly destroyed by the Empire."

Palpatine rolls his eyes as if to say, "Why did she have to bring that up?"

Leia continues:

The other condition was that I return home for dinner each night. At the dinner table, it was open season. There were no secrets. Those were and continue to be the most embarrassing, heartbreaking, immature, hilarious, and dysfunctional family get-togethers ever. I would never trade these days for a month of good days.

I want to say to my two younger siblings, who should be getting ready for bed soon, that you were not invited because you would be disruptive to this event, but you would be bored and the ceremony would go on forever because someone would need to fish for one of your toys underneath the seats. However, let's not kid ourselves. Two dotting grandparents who are letting you have the time of your life surround you. I miss you and love you very much.

This honors award makes me think of you because they remind me of our father, our fussy, wisecracking, gentle, and giving father. So, Daddy, this award, I give to you. I hope you find a place in your office amongst the other diplomas, childhood drawings, and your anger management achievement certificates. There has to be a space on the wall left for at least one more.

I love you, Daddy. Thank you."

A few of Leia's classmates, some with a little gin and pera juice hidden under their gowns yell out in the crowd.

"Mr. Skywalker, you rock, man!"

Isabel squeezes her husband's hand and kisses him on the cheek.

After the ceremony, a late lunch is held at the Piazza Aquaris Catering Hall. Leia warns her grandparents to 'play nice.' Leia walks over to her father and presents her hand to him with the corsage.

"Hi, Daddy."

"Hi, Sweet Pea. Nice corsage."

"Yeah. I can't believe Han was too embarrassed to give it to me."

"Well, it looks real nice."

"Thanks!"

She mingles through the crowd. He sees Han who raises a glass of champagne to him. The Naberrie's chat with Isabel and Luke. Anakin is chatting with the Judge and her husband. Leia walks over to the garden. Qui-Gon appears.

'_Nice get-together.'_

"Oh, hi, Guy."

'_Now that's a name I have not heard in a long time.'_

"How come you're not crashing my party in the usual fashion?"

'_I have to entertain the little tykes. Anyway, I'm waiting for a bigger event.'_

"Ugh…"

Leia returns to her guests. She chats with her grandparents. She extends an invitation to Saturday brunch at the house. Anakin invites them but he is not sure they will accept. Leia makes sure that they do. Anakin has paid for their hotel.

Saturday -

The Naberrie's find the home full of life. Li-An tries to get Luke to chase him He giggles as he turns to look for Luke.

"Luke, chase me!"

"No, come here! Jump in my arms."

Everyone takes turns holding Alex. Alex uses this to his advantage to grab objects on the table. Isabel takes him from Obi-Wan. Meanwhile, Anakin alerts everyone.

"Toddler roaming under table. Beware."

Ouisanne catches him. "Gotcha! You might get away from Luke but you're not getting away from me."

Li-An follows Luke in the dayroom. Luke rummages through his old toy box behind the recliner. Han walks into the room. He pulls out a super soaker blaster. There are two big ones.

"Gee, Junior, you kids had all sorts of loot. A Super Soaker Blaster?"

Li-An looks at Luke.

"Fill it up!"

Luke and Han go to the garden and grab the hose. They show Li-An how it works. The tot is enthused.

"Ooooh! Gimme!"

"Hold on, bossy tiny tot. We've got to test it first."

"Test it now!"

"Relax, Sport." Han fills the second blaster. Li-An grabs the overfilled soaker. Han wets Li-An. They have a water fight. He has trouble carrying the blaster. Luke takes it. Han and Luke stalk one another. Li-An begins to whine.

"I want to play! Luke!" He starts to cry. Luke finds a smaller blaster in the toy box.

"Ok, ok, ok!" Luke hands him the smaller blaster. Li-An chases them. Nakai walks into the garden.

"Hey, what have you got there?"

"Soupa Bwaster."

"Oh. I surrender! Go find more prisoners. I'll stay right here." Nakai pretends to hold up his hands in surrender. "Go find Luke. If you don't catch him, he'll get you. Go. Go!"

"Luke!"

Li-An winds up on the patio where everyone is having brunch

"Look, Nana!"

Leia covers her mouth.

"Li, you know, if you splash Nana, you're not going to get any toys."

"But I want to bwast somebody."

Anakin walks out onto the patio after being on the phone arguing with Palpatine because Leia did not invite him over for brunch. He is confronted by Li-An wielding his blaster.

"Hey, little man, what's that?"

Li-An's mouth curls into that same devilish smile as Anakin.

"It's a soupa bwaster."

"Luke gave that to you?"

"Yeth."

"Well, Luke is in trouble. Hand it over."

"No. Mine!"

"Then you'll have to play with Luke and Han out back. The cowards."

"No!"

Anakin grabs the blaster. "Mine! Not here."

"Mine!"

Anakin wrestles with Li-An. Li-An has his finger on the trigger and aims. Leia, Sola, Ryoo, Pooja, Ouisanne, and Jobal watch in horror as Ruwee walks out onto the Patio and is blasted with a thankful of water. There is a deafening silence. Suddenly a rumble of laughter comes out of Ruwee Naberrie. Li-An is cowering between Anakin's legs. Ruwee wipes some of the water from his face then walks over to Anakin.

"May I see this?"

Anakin figures this first family get-together is about to end poorly. He resigns himself to his fate and surrenders the blaster.

"Sure."

"Luke?"

"Yes, Opa?"

Luke reappears from the other side of the patio.

"Remember these…you and Leia used to play with these at the poolside back home on Naboo."

"Oh, yeah. You threatened to confiscate them so Leia and I packed them up and brought them home with us. Heheheheh."

"Yeah…so now you engage a toddler in your antics"

"Uh….Han, run!"

Leia Laughs. She recalls Luke drenching their grandfather while the old man was relaxing poolside reading the dailies. Today is payback. Li-An follows as Luke cowers under the lemon tree plant. Luke emerges drenched. Li-An laughs. He grabs Luke's blaster. The entire patio is wet. Isabel walks onto the patio after putting Alex down for a nap.

"What happened out here? Anakin?"

"Oh, sith! Li, come over here, sweetie. She looks vicious. We have to get her before she gets us."

He scoops up the toddler and uses him as a human shield. Out of panic, Anakin aims. Li-An gets down on the ground. He hands the blaster back to his father.

"Heewa, this is lours." Li-An walks over to the table and grabs some napkins and dries her sleeveless silk dress. Heewa, mammee."

Leia is laughing hysterically. Obi-Wan is 'doctoring up his mimosa and raises his flask.

"Cheers!"

Threepio and Artoo look to see if the coast is clear.

"Goodness, gracious me! Who is responsible for this?"

Li-An points.

"Lu, Nerf, Opa, Ani…"

Obi-Wan smiles. "And you are innocent."

"Yes."

Isabel looks at her 'little accessory' after the fact.

"You guilty or do you want to take a nap?"

"I want to take a nap."

Luke walks in soaked.

"What about me?"

Isabel looks at him.

"How old are you?"

"Never mind." He looks at Li-An who is in his mother's arms. He is sucking his thumb. "You're not going to look so sweet and innocent forever."

Isabel carries Li-An inside. As they pass the hallway mirror, Li-An catches a glimpse of himself. He removes his thumb from his mouth, lifts his head and points.

"I'm cute!"

Isabel rolls her eyes. "Oh, you! Let's take a name, my felon in training."

Late that afternoon the Naberrie's prepare to return to Naboo. Alex wakes up in time to see them off again. Leia is holding him. She kisses her grandparents.

"Oma, Opa, I'm so glad you could come, especially today. We want you to feel welcome here. These family get-togethers are a bit crazy but they're fun because it's family. My father really wants you to come, Opa. I have never laughed as much as when Li-An drenched you today."

"So, where is our little commando?"

"He's still asleep."

Anakin is just coming down the steps. Li-An is in his arms just waking up.

"He wanted to say 'Goodbye."

Jobal brushes his cheek. "Oh, here he is. He looks so much like Luke when he was a baby. Look at all that blond hair. Isabel you're hands are full with two little boys. Please, feel welcome to visit anytime."

Leia and I have to fend for ourselves in this house. You're welcome to visit anytime."

"Only if you come to Naboo. Anakin, please come."

Isabel rests her head on Anakin's chest. She tells Li-An to wave goodbye. Li-An blows kisses.

"Bye-bye!"

Obi-Wan waves goodbye. Li-An sees a beverage in Obi-Wan's hand. Li-An leans over to take a sip.

"Thirsty?" Li-An nods 'Yes.'

Everyone else shouts, "No!"

"What? It's just pera just…straight. Honest! Where's the trust in this family."

Leia sniffs the glass. Anakin refuses to let Li-An sip from the glass. "We'll handle the beverages."

"Oh, right. Like you'll handle the growing daycare center."

"The doctor says he'll us the potty when he's ready."

Li-An lifts his head.

"I use the potty."

Leia laughs.

"Yeah, after the fact."

After the Naberrie family leaves, Anakin takes Li-An for a walk.

"Li, let's go for a walk."

"Where?"

"To the porcelain throne."

"No, I'll fall."

"Who told you that?"

Nerf."

"Oh, he did, did he? Solo! Get in here!"

"Yeah? You bellowed?"

"Did you tell my son he would fall in the toilet?"

"Uh…not in so many words….so what if I did? Toilet training is highly over-rated."

"Don't traumatize my child. That's my responsibility. Li-An, sit."

"Lou sit."

"This has been going on for two years. Sit."

Han stands in the doorway.

"You know…Mr. S., incentives sometimes help."

"Like a big vat of carbonite?"

"Geez, he's just a baby! I wouldn't do that to my child."

Li-An is sitting on the kiddie cushion on the toilet as the two men have a discussion in the doorway. Qui-Gon and Mace appear. Li-An listens intently. He follows their instructions. He steps down from the stairs. Then climbs up the step to the sink and lathers his arms. Mace shakes his head.

'_Okay, now. You're making a mess. Enough with the soap, man.'_

"But I like the soap."

'_Your father is going to see that.'_

"He's talking to Nerf."

'_You're right. Ok. Enough with the water. You don't want your mother to come in here.'_

Li-An calls his father.

"Ani, come here because I'm making a mess."

Anakin is still arguing with Han.

"Okay."

"All, I'm saying, Mr. S. is it's a lot of pressure to put on a little kid."

"Don't tell me how to raise my kids. I had four without your words of wisdom, you cradle robber."

"Oh, here we go again. For your information, your 'sweet tart' came on to me."

"What did you call my daughter?"

"She had her eye on me…"

"Why, I ought to choke the living daylights out of you!"

"Right, resort to violence!"

Mace looks over at Qui-Gon who is distracted watching the two men argue.

'_Qui-Gon, over here!'_

'_I 'm waiting to watch Ani strangle Han for the fifteenth time.'_

'_Get over here!'_

'_How's our little guy doing?'_

'_He's doing great. Now he's about to flood the bathroom. Get his chucklehead father over here.'_

Qui-Gon reluctantly approaches Anakin to stop the argument.

'_Uhm…Ani, I think Li-An needs your attention.'_

Anakin turns to look. Han has no idea what is going on. Anakin walks over to turn off the faucet.

"Oh, enough with the soap."

"But I'm getting clean."

"You're done."

"I know. See? New pants!"

"Well, look at you."

"I did it myself. I didn't fall in!"

"No you didn't fall in. Good job!" He gives Han a dirty look. "In a few months you'll be ready for Youngling training with Yoda."

"We get to play with soap?"

"No, Yoda won't have you playing with soap."

"But it's fun."

Anakin locks the soap pump. "No more soap. Let's go. Let's show mommy."

He rinses Li-An's arms and dries him off. They walk into the day room where Isabel is relaxing on the sofa chatting with her mother.

"Isabow! Look! I'm dry and I washed my hands and I didn't fall in the wurm hole."

"You accomplished all that? You're a big boy!"

Anakin brushes his hands together proudly.

"Mission accomplished! Our son is potty trained."

"Hmmm…took the two of you long enough."

"I admit, he was a challenge but we made it as a team."

"Team…right. You managed to accomplish all this and attempt to strangle Han? Amazing. But if that's the story you're sticking to, who am I to argue?" She flips through a magazine. Anakin becomes defensive.

"Who told you that?" He force talks to her. _'Oh, now that you and the happy ghosts are chatting on a regular basis, you think you've got the goods on me, huh? Show-off.'_

'_Next time don't leave my child at the sink where he could slip and fall. You and Han have your genius discussions elsewhere.'_

Li-An listens to his parents bicker. He speaks aloud.

"Ani was going to strangle Nerf."

"Real nice, Anakin. Li, sweetie, How about we wear a different outfit today? I've seen you in three different '_Tuskin Rayder' _shirts so far this week."

"I like the _'Tuskin Wayder' _suht. "

Ouisanne smiles. "Li, sweetie, Nana bought you some nice new outfits.

Anakin takes Li-An. "I kinda like these shirts. They're cool. Come on, Li; let's get out of here quick. Skippy, Hellraiser, you coming?" The dogs follow. Skippy works the red ribbon off his neck. Nana Ouisanne thought he would look cute dressed up for Leia's graduation brunch. What a relief! Saved by the Sith!

Anakin and Li-An make a quick exit. Anakin has seen the outfits. No Little Lord Fauntleroy outfits for his son. He loves his mother-in-law but he would rather see his kids in rags or hippie t-shirts for as long as possible. Now Anakin needed to track down that scruffy nerfherder giving him lip about how to potty train. His scruffy lips had better not be on his daughter's lips. He makes a point of checking out 'Make-Out Corner' near the lemon tree plants. Good. The nerfherder is playing sabacc with Leia, Luke, and Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan may be an old drunk but he can hold his own in a game of sabacc.

Oh, he has to call old Palps. The old buzzard wants to see the little ones. All the other grandparents at the retirement community get to see their grandchildren and great-grandchildren on Senior Day. He feels left out. Anakin was going to have to ask Isabel. Knowing her, she was going to send out reinforcements like the four Ghosts and Yoda to keep the old man in check. The next event is in a few months. He has time to get on his wife's good side. Crap!

_To be continued… 'More Birthday Parties and Birthday Suits'_

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_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this heart wrenching story of rebirth and forgiveness.**_

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	110. Chapter 110 More Birthdays

_Chapter 110_

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'_Let's Do the Ewok Dance'_

'_Obi-Wan Kenobi Pera Jell-O Shots '_

'_It's Damned Hot in this Suit'_

'_The Sith Has a Birthday'_

'_Operations & Procedures'_

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Eight months later, Alex sleeps through his first birthday. Li-An gladly stands in for him. Alex sleeps in his high chair, his birthday hat askew and icing from the cupcake is in his blond hair. The big cake is a cartoon Ewok dressed in a blue outfit. Li-An blows out the candles.

Nakai chuckles to himself as the relatives take holographs of the sleeping birthday boy. He removes him from the highchair and cleans him up. Stephan and Philippe's children are there to help celebrate. Stephan's two eldest are Luke and Leia's age. Mara and Han join them. They hang back in the festively decorated party room laughing. Obi-Wan has mad some pera Jell-O shots. The six are in the corner with the old Jedi Master slurping down the shots. Valin, Kyle, Kyp, Rocca, Sena arrive and congregate in the corner getting smashed on the Pera Jell-O shots. Leia has hired Nelson to entertain the children. He is dressed in his Ewok costume. Leia is laughing hysterically as Nelson performs for the kids.

Luke is giggling uncontrollably. "This is the best kid's party I have ever been to."

Han leans over. "Could it be the liquor?"

"Possibly."

The group begins to do the Ewok dance. Han, Obi-Wan are sober enough to opt out. They are laughing at Li-An who is 'directing' the party. He instructs the 'dancing Ewok' to perform. Nelson is about to pass out in the hot suit. Leia walks over to rescue him. She sits him down in the corner near the recliner.

"How are you doing there, Nelson?"

"Great, great. This is the best gig I've had in months."

"Relax, Nelson. The coast is clear. Take off your head and take a break."

"Oh, man, that feels good. Thanks, Leia."

"I was shocked you were still doing this."

"I was standing in for my cousin again."

She hands him a glass of water.

"Your cousin isn't very reliable,"

"He's got issues."

"He's alright. He just has trouble keeping appointments"

"Yeah, and you bail him out. You're too good, Nelson."

"Your family puts together a serious spread here for a one-year old."

"We believe in be get-togethers. My father was an only child. He needs to be around a lot of people."

"I remember your parties. They were fun. My parties were okay but yours were a riot. I used to dream about them for days after they were over."

There is a big commotion in the party room.

"What happened?"

"Oh, Jar-Jar just arrived. My little brother is crazy about him. Jar-Jar will give you a run for your money. You'd better hurry up and finish grad school."

"Yeah."

Han walks over.

"So, how's the giant Ewok? Too pooped to perform?"

"He's got a hectic schedule. School, two jobs…"

"Alright…take it easy." Han looks down at Nelson in the big furry suit sans headgear. "Hey, Pal, why don't you put your legs on the footrest?"

"Oh, great. Thanks. Yeah, that's better. I shouldn't get too comfy. I got to get back to the kiddies."

"The kiddies are fine, they're toddlers. You're long forgotten."

Callista and the other girls walk over. They all feel sorry for Nelson. Sena gets a pillow; Rocca gets a couple of towels and dry his forehead. Mara is too drunk on Jell-o shots to make a meaningful 'contribution so she just sits on the ottoman staring at him and giggling.

"He looks like a hairy Wookie! Let's shave him!"

Leia looks over at Luke.

"Luke, will you take Mara into the kitchen and sober her up?"

"Come on, Mara. No more Jell-O shots for you."

Back at the birthday party, Alex wakes up. He is a bit cranky. All the adults try to console him to no avail. Jar-Jar takes him.

"Whatsa matta birthday baby? Yousa got party overload? Where yousa get that party bib? Yousa got crazy grandma. Sheesa dress you like big birthday cake. Whatsa you got big fluffy collar for? Look like Queen Naboo. Yousa all fluff-fluff and little head. Let's see if yousa got decent birthday gifts. Maybee weesa change you into less crazy clothes."

Li-An hands Jar-Jar a gift.

"Open this, Jar-Jar."

"Oh, yousa bossy brother. Howsa yousa doing almost kidnapped Skywalker Youngling?"

"Okay."

"Where is crazy Palpy? Meesa no see old sith around." Jar-Jar scans the room and sees Palpatine glaring at him. "Yikes! Well, yousa made it to party. Howsa yousa doing yousa crazy old coot? Yousa got room full of Younglings here. Yousa musta be going ape crazy. Hope Crazy Dark Lord son got security. Can't trust you as far as Meesa can throw. Howsa yousa doin' crazy Ani? Choke future smart mouth son -in law yet?"

Palpatine folds his arms and huffs at the Gungan.

"Why are you here? Go away!"

"Meesa child entertainment. Yousa just old boogieman. Meesa hear yousa big shot actor at Senior Entertainment Center. Yousa musta got people rolling in the aisles…trying to run outta theatre! Yousa got new outfit. Velvet smoking jacket. Yousa Sith Masterpiece Theatre host?"

Obi-Wan is slurping his pera Jell-O shots and laughing. Mara has escaped the kitchen where Luke is trying to give her some hot jawa to sober her up but she is standing in the doorway laughing at Jar-Jar tormenting the former Emperor, her former mentor during her internship. Anakin sees her. He gives Luke a scowl. Luke quickly ushers her out of the party room.

Li-An is busy opening Alex's gifts.

"Here, Jar-Jar, this is for Alex."

"Thank you. Ooooh, look! Tuskin Rayder's T-shirts. Musta be from surfer-boy Luke. Heeesa not be happy til everyone in family has t-shirt."

Mara yells from the kitchen.

"I got one! Wanna see?"

Kyle giggles and rolls his eyes. "This chick is wild. She's going to flash any minute. Luke, you had better hold onto her. Don't want to shock the kiddies."

Kyp runs into the kitchen. "I'll help you hold her down!"

Jar-Jar tries to get the Younglings in order. Half are rolling on the floor; some are making a mess with the cake and ice cream.

"Ok, Younglings, let's do the Ewok dance!"

_If you're a happy Ewok, let everybody know it._

_If you're a happy Ewok, swing your arms and show it_

_Happy, happy, happy Ewoks love to dance and sing! Tada!_

_If you're a happy Ewok, wave your arms left and right._

_If you're a happy Ewok, hop, hop, hop, and turn around, _

_Lift your foot off the ground; swing from side to side and say, Let's all do the Ewok dance. _

_Swing and sway with laughter and cheers, spin around and wiggle your ears, Bow your head and start to prance, Let's all do the Ewok dance!_

In the kitchen, Mara is doing the Ewok dance; Luke is making a half-hearted attempt to stop her but it is too entertaining. Kyp, Valin, and Kyle are watching. Mara is performing her own free-form belly dance. Her Tuskin Rayder t-shirt barely reaches her navel. Anakin walks in the kitchen. Mara is still dancing.

"Oh, hi, Mr. Skywalker!" She twirls around and passes out in front of the dishwasher. The boys start to giggle. Luke tries not to laugh but it is difficult. He sees the look on his father's face. Anakin is not amused.

"Sena, go get Leia and help take her to the guest room."

Kyp, Valin, and Kyle start to help Mara up.

"No. You boys go out on the patio. You too, Luke. I don't want to see any unnecessary mouth-to-mouth resuscitation going on."

Sena goes to find Leia.

"Leia, your dad is pissed and he wants you to go help Mara."

"What now?"

"She's plastered from pera shots and passed out on the kitchen floor. He wants us girls to take her to one of the guest rooms and sober her up."

"But I already have Nelson to take care of."

Han steps in.

"I'll take care of Nelson. I have never seen a kiddie party where pera shots are responsible for bringing down the show."

Back inside the party room, Nelson sits up and looks around.

"Where's Leia?"

"Take it easy, Pal. She's not on nurse's duty."

"She's really nice."

"Yeah. She's great."

"Where did she go?"

"A dancer fell."

"One of the kids?"

"No, one of the guests."

"How's the party going in there?"

"It's going fine. All the tots are running around. They'll barf up all the ice cream and cake when they get home."

"You're a funny guy."

"Yeah, I'm a real crack up. So…can I get you something?"

"No, I'm cool. I think I just got overheated in this suit."

"Maybe you should change vocations."

"Oh, I'm only doing this for the extra money. Got to pay for books for school."

Anakin, who has been standing outside listening, casually walks in the room.

"Hey, Nelson, I didn't know you were our entertainment today. Exhausted from scaring the daylights out of my kids?"

"Li-An likes me."

"Yeah, he's easily entertained."

"Sorry about ruining it for the kids."

"Don't worry about it. Jar-Jar is keeping them entertained. So…why don't you get out of that hot suit, freshen up, and join the party. I'm sure you and Leia have lots of news to catch up on. Han will show you around. He knows this house better than I do. Right, Solo?" He slaps Han on the back.

"I don't know it that well, Sir."

"Sure you do." He gives Han a nudge. Han rubs his arm. The nudge is intentionally hard. "So, go enjoy the fun. There's plenty of regular food on the patio. Enjoy."

"Thank you sir."

Back at the party, Palpatine is learning the Ewok dance from Li-An. Li-An is laughing hysterically. Alex is taking his first steps. Anakin, who walks in the room, stops him in his tracks. Alex looks up at the tall figure and blushes. He is wearing his new yellow _'Tuskin Rayders' _t-shirt and his Ewok diaper. He smiles then hugs Anakin's legs.

"Daddee."

"Tired? Let's go somewhere quiet. Come on, my little _'Tuskin Rayder.'_"

Anakin leaves the noisy room. He goes to his study and takes a nap with Alex on the Nuna leather sofa.

Back in the party room, Isabel is staking all the gifts on the table and chatting with the other parents. The outfit Ouisanne gave Alex is in the laundry room. Jar-Jar creates a new game for the children to play; it's called 'Diving Gungans.' All the toddlers crash-dive on Palpatine. The old man is screaming in agony as the tots land on him. Nakai stands in the doorway and laughs as the old man is writhing on the floor.

"Help! Help! Please, someone! They're monsters! Get them off me! Woooo hoo! Jar-Jar…help me, please."

"Meesa no can stand in way of Youngling fun. Theesa tots loaded with mucho sugar. Meesa no mess with sugar-fueled Younglings."

Leia and Luke reminisce with their friends about primary school days. Nelson laughs as they recall the days they would torture one another. He is happy. He rekindles a friendship and he has a cheque in his pocket to cover expenses and book fees for next semester. He can turn in the sweaty Ewok costume now. His cousin will have to find another stand-in at Ewok Village Burgerland.

Han and Obi-Wan finish off the pera shots in the garden on the chaises.

Mara is due for one heck of a hangover.

**A few months pass. Anakin has a birthday party of his own and brings Li-An out to greet the guests. He is shy at first. He warms up to the guests and enjoys the party. Anakin hands him to Threepio to put to bed.**

"Say 'Goodnight, everyone.' Master Li-An."

"Why?"

"Because you're going to bed."

"No.

Anakin reassures him.

"Yes, it's late. I will come up to bathe you."

"Why? It's orly. I can't sleep now. I want to stay at the party."

"Oh, my sweet child. It's late your bedtime is 7 o'clock."

"Come with me. It can be your sleep time too, Ani."

"No... I can stay up late. You are a child. You must go to sleep now."

"I'm not tired, Daddy, please?"

Lara kisses him.

"Ahhh...he's so cute!"

"Don't encourage him.

Threepio takes him. "Come, Master, Li-An, it's time for bed."

Li-An reaches for Lara.

"Help me."

Lara kisses him and fusses over him.

"I wish I could, Li. Good night, sweetie."

She kisses him again. He pouts and allows Threepio to take him. He takes the droid's hand. Several minutes later, he is in the nursery trying to play games so he will not go to bed.

"Your mother will come in and ask why you are not in the tub."

"I must wait for Anakin. Ani! Where are lou? Ani?

The guests laugh as they hear Li-An in the foyer leading to the nursery. Anakin excuses himself.

"Pardon me for one moment. I need to find out why my son is still roaming the halls."

Meanwhile Isabel heads into the nursery. She folds her arms across her chest. She is not pleased. She tries not to laugh when she sees him.

"What is this?" She holds Alex in her arms.

"Hallo, Isabow."

"Your brother is ready to go to bed. He's ready to take his bath. Why aren't you in the tub?"

"I want to go to the _bustday party."_

"It's for grown-ups"

"But I was good. I can stay up late."

"In the tub."

Anakin walks in the bathroom.

"What's the matter?"

"Ani! Hallo."

"I'll bathe you. In the tub you go.

"Okay."

Anakin bathes him. Alex sits in the tub and follows his brother's lead. Isabel sits on the bath bench shaking her head in disbelief.

After the bath, Anakin wraps Li-An and Alex in a towel then kisses them before handing them over to their mother. He starts to leave the nursery. Li-An holds onto his towel.

"Ani, where are you going? Wait for me."

"Okay, I will put you to bed."

"No. I want to say good night to your fwiends."

"It's late. You are not dressed. You have no shoes."

He drops his towel, puts on his red corduroy slippers, and then sprints through the foyer to the staircase overlooking the family living room. Alex follows him. He stands at the top of the stairs naked. He smiles and waves to the guests. Everyone waves back and laughs. Anakin and Isabel are in hot pursuit. Li-An greets the guests.

"Hallo everybody! "

Lara looks up the stairs "Hello, Honey. You're wearing beautiful shoes."

"My mammee bought them. Maamee bought…. See?" He sticks out his foot for all to see. "Hallo, Obi-Wan!"Anakin scoops him up mid-sentence "Whoa...!"

"Get back here."

"Daddy, I want them to see my new sues."

"They've seen enough. Say 'Good Night."

"Bye-bye everybody!"

Alex waves.

"Bye-Bye!"

"You are going to bed"

"Noooo! Please?" Li-An grabs hold of the railing.

Anakin pulls him away.

"No more. It's bedtime."

Anakin kisses him and puts him to bed. He returns to his guests and apologizes.

"Sorry for the interruption."

Master Adi Gallia smiles.

"He was funny."

Lara is laughing.

"I loved it when he showed off his shoes."

"That's my son. The little exhibitionist."

"Is he coming back?"

"God, no! It's an hour past his bedtime. Don't encourage him."

"Is Isabel joining us?"

Anakin looks exhausted.

"Yes. She's reading to them."

"He is so adorable. He makes me laugh."

Anakin nods. "Lara, you're not trying to put him to bed. He's a little clown when guests come over."

Lara smiles.

"He wanted to help you celebrate your birthday."

"He's helped enough."

Master Halcyon winks.

"That's our future Jedi."

"May the Gods help us."

Isabel is on her way downstairs. She hears Anakin discuss a doctor's appointment.

"…so the doctor says I have to have them removed. I couldn't effing believe this quack! I've been putting it off for months but I figure I'd better take care of it now. I want to get my affairs in order."

Lara almost laughs when she tries to clarify things with Anakin.

"Anakin, are you sure you know what surgery you're getting?"

"Of course. He told me right there in the office in front of my wife and kids."

"Anakin, that's a minor procedure."

"That's how you women think. I was so depressed. Isabel won't take me seriously either. She thinks it's a big joke."

Master Gallia, looks at Master Halcyon. They both look at Isabel as she sits on the sofa. She looks back at everyone.

"What?"

Obi-Wan looks over at her.

"The operation."

"Oh, please. Don't get me started."

Anakin is annoyed.

"Isabel, you take these things too lightly."

"That's because….never mind."

A few weeks later, Anakin sees his attorneys. Isabel ignores his periodic tirades about the impending surgery. Luke and Leia snicker as he starts moaning about it. Luke goes to Isabel.

"Mom, why don't you explain it again? Maybe he won't freak out this time."

"No. Your father has a head like a rock. Nothing that makes any sense will penetrate that noggin. I'm through talking to him."

"Leia is taunting him. She's leaving notes around the house hinting what she's going to do with the insurance money."

"Let him suffer, the big baby."

The night before the 'surgery', Anakin cuddles up with Isabel.

"Oh, 'Bel, you mean so much to me. Promise me you'll wait awhile before you start dating again."

"Sure, honey."

"You don't sound too sincere."

"I'll be more sincere if you let me get some '_effing'_ sleep!"

"I know this is tough on you too, Honey. I'm sorry."

Next Day -

Isabel goes to the hospital with him. Leia and Luke watch Li-An and Alex as Isabel helps to check him into admissions. The next morning Isabel returns as he goes into surgery. Alex and Li-An play in the waiting room. The surgery lasts about an hour. He is wheeled back to his room. He wakes from the anesthesia.

"Qui-Gon? Am I at one with the Force?"

'_What? How should I know? Did you have an out of body experience?'_

"I don't know. I did see bright lights."

Ki Adi Mundi, Aayla Secura, and Mace Windu are sitting in the window laughing as Qui-Gon strings him along.

Aayla does an imitation of a gremlin._ 'Bright Light, Bright Light!'_

Mace chuckles.

'_Aayla, you're not right.'_

_She laughs._

'_It's too funny. I'm sorry. Well you were talking in his ear when they were putting him under.'_

'_Cross over children. All are welcome. All welcome. Go into the Light. There is peace and serenity in the Light.'_

'_I couldn't help myself. He was easy pickings.'_

Ki Adi Mundi tries to be serious

'_You are all terribly immature.'_

'_Right, like you were so mature, 'Hi, I'm Casper, will you be my friend?'_

'_Aayla, you were the one messing up his count when he was being sedated. I was cracking up.' _

'_Anakin, count from 100 to one….100, 23, 52, 12, 15, 180, 2, 88, 88, 88, 88.' _

'_Ha-ha!'_

'_Is he awake yet?'_

'_Yeah.'_

A nurse enters the room to take his vitals. The surgeon walks in and flashes a light in his eyes to check his pupils. Anakin panics.

"Aaaaaahhhh!"

"Calm down, Mr. Skywalker. We're just checking your vitals. How do you feel?"

"Fine."

"Good…good. You got out of bed too soon and walked into the bathroom door. Your wife is here to see you."

The ghosts are howling with laughter now. Qui-Gon told Anakin he was at one with the Force as a joke and Anakin believing him, gets up, walks into the door, and falls unconscious. Isabel is summoned into the room. She sits at his bedside until he regains consciousness.

She smiles down at him.

"Hi, sweetie."

"Hi."

He touches the bump on his forehead. She moves his hand away.

"Don't touch it."

"What happened? Did they operate on my brain?"

Ki Adi Mundi smirks. _'They should have.'_

"You'll be fine. You have some visitors outside."

"Did you tear up my Will?"

"Yes, Anakin."

"Where are those kids waiting for me to die?"

"They're outside too."

"Send those two in here."

Luke and Leia enter the room. A nurse sits with Li-An and Alex. in the waiting area.

"Hey, Dad. How are you feeling?"

"Just dandy, Luke. How's the drunken redheaded belly dancer?"

"She's better. She sends her apologies."

"Need anything, Daddy?"

"No, Princess. Are you still dating that nerfherder?"

"Why?"

"How's that other chucklehead in the Ewok suit?"

"Nelson is fine."

"You sure know how to pick 'em."

"I'm glad you're feeling better, Daddy." She gives him a kiss.

"Now bring the other two in here. They haven't disappointed me yet."

"Sure, Daddy."

The nurse brings Li-An and Alex into the room. Anakin smiles.

"Hi, little guys."

"Hi, Daddy. Luke said you walked into the door."

"Your brother talks too much."

Another nurse walks in.

"Mr. Skywalker, how about something soothing for those adenoids we excised today?"

"Can you wait till my children leave?"

"The ice cream will make your throat feel better."

"Ok."

She returns with Felucia strawberry and vanilla ice cream. Li-An and Alex sit with Anakin and share the ice cream. He looks out at the waiting area and waves the twins inside. Luke and Leia share the ice cream. Isabel goes outside. Obi-Wan sits with her.

"You have a good man in there."

"He's a pain in the ass."

Back in the room, Leia kisses her father on his bandaged forehead.

"You know you had your tonsils out, right?"

"Of course I knew."

"Humph!"

"I knew…after the doctor explained why my throat was sore."

"Mom is annoyed with you."

"Hey, I thought I was going to die."

Alex feeds Anakin a spoonful of ice cream.

"Open up…here star cawooser."

Obi-Wan smiles at Isabel out in the waiting area.

"No ice cream?"

"If I look at that stuff I think I'll hurl."

"You know…five is a nice number."

"That's not funny, Obi-Wan. It's not. I'm not ready for this."

_To be continued… 'Pink's A Nice Color Too…'_

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_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this heart wrenching story of rebirth and forgiveness.**_

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	111. Chapter 111 Pink is a Nice Color

_Chapter 111_

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'_Following in the Footsteps of the Dark Lord'_

'_Hungry as a Sith'_

'_Pink Is a Nice Color'_

'_Double Chiller Horror Theatre' _

'_Back Stage Pass'_

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Anakin returns home from the hospital 24 hours after surgery. Isabel does not speak to him. He is too happy about baby number five for her liking.

The day after he arrives home, Anakin is on his own. Isabel is upstairs sleeping. He walks into the kitchen that afternoon and opens the refrigerator. He prepares to make a sandwich. All the ingredients are laid out on the counter.

Leia walks in the kitchen and sees him.

"You hungry, Daddy?"

Luke walks in and watches followed by Li-An and Alex. Anakin sees the growing crowd as he spreads mayonnaise on the crusty bread.

"No, I just like to randomly take food from the fridge and make sandwiches for no good reason."

Li-An looks at Alex as they climb on the stool and sit on the counter. Luke catches Alex. All four Skywalker children watch the head of the house prepare a sandwich. It is a moment to behold. Li-An points.

"Is pepper on that? I can't eat pepper. It's hot."

"Well, you have nothing to worry about because this is my sandwich."

"Maammee said you always ask if anyone wants to sayar."

"I hadn't planned to _'share'_…but I guess I will before someone goes running in to rat me out."

Luke smiles. "We're fine. We were just watching you."

Anakin carries his plate to the breakfast nook and sits. The crowd follows. Leia grabs a glass from the cupboard and fills it with ice and juice.

"Here you go, Daddy."

"Thanks. What do you want for it?"

"Nothing. I just thought you would want a beverage with your meal."

"Oh…thanks." He turns to find Li-An standing on the seat beside him. He is wearing a normal long-sleeve shirt and shorts. Anakin surmises all of his _'Tuskin Rayders' _t-shirts must be in the laundry. Pity. Li-An has his arm around his father's shoulder. Anakin lets out a low sigh then looks at his young son. "What? You want some?"

Li-An nods 'Yes.'

"Didn't your mother feed you?"

Leia looks at her father. "Oh, Daddy, you know how little kids eat. They pick."

Anakin cuts part of the sandwich and hands it to Li-An. He continues to eat. Suddenly he stops and looks around.

"Why are you all still here?"

Luke looks at his father.

"Don't you want company?"

"Did I ask for company?"

Leia squints.

"You could afford to be a lot nicer with that big knot on your head."

"You kids are starting to bother me."

Luke feeds Alex dried cereal. "You don't want us around?"

"All I want is to sit in peace and enjoy a sandwich. But that won't happen because my kids follow me everywhere."

Li-An starts to cry. "Daddy doesn't want us."

Leia flicks her father on the head wound. "You made him cry! What's wrong with you?"

"Ouch! That's not what I meant. Li-An, I'm sorry. Sit down and have lunch with me, please. I insist."

Isabel walks in the kitchen.

"Why are all my children upset?"

Luke looks up at her.

"Dad wants to dine alone."

"He can be selfish like that. You stay right where you are, Luke. Ignore him. That's his responsibility. He's supposed to spend time with you."

Li-An pulls a pickle slice out of Anakin's sandwich.

"Daddy, I don't like pickle. Here."

Isabel goes to the refrigerator and pulls out some containers. Luke places Alex in his highchair and goes to help Isabel. She prepares a salad and hands it to Luke.

"Serve your father some salad. Is anyone else hungry?"

Leia looks inside her father's sandwich. Anakin can't believe this is happening.

"I'll have a Corellian club like daddy has but only half."

Li-An pulls out the onions.

"Daddy, you have onions on this. I don't like onions."

"Well I do."

The doorbell rings. Anakin can hear Threepio welcoming someone.

"Welcome, Master Kenobi. So good to see you."

"How are you, Threepio?"

"I'm doing quite well, thank you, Sir. Are you looking for Master Ani?"

"Why yes, I am….in a matter of speaking."

"He's in the kitchen bonding with the children."

"Well, isn't that nice." He walks into the kitchen and kisses Isabel."

"Isabel, you look lovely. How are you my dear?"

"I'm fine…considering…, Obi-Wan. Are you hungry? Have a seat. I'll make you a sandwich."

"Well, I haven't eaten yet. That would be lovely. Thank you."

Li-An sees Obi-Wan.

"Hi, Ben! We're having lunch with Daddy."

"Well, look at this nice spread. What are you having, Anakin?"

"A Corellian Hero with no pickle and no onion, no pepper, and no lettuce….no flavor."

"That's not really a Corellian without the pickles and fixings."

"Tell me about it."

Isabel makes more sandwiches. The doorbell rings again. Artoo and Threepio greet the new guest.

"Hello, Mr. Solo. Will you be joining the family for lunch?"

Anakin has a sudden coughing fit. Leia leaves her place at the table. She has an evil grin on her face.

"You okay? Drink something, Daddy." She pats him on the back. The breakfast nook is filling up. "Oh, hi Han, come on in, we're just having lunch."

"Wow! Hi, Mrs. Skywalker, Master Kenobi. Oh, Mr. S., I almost missed you in the crowd. Lunch looks good, fresh Corellian rolls, ooh, and fixings. Great!"

"What an opportune time to drop by, Solo. Glad you found a place to crash and have a meal" He looks over at Leia. She gives him one of her charming smiles. Han slides in next to Luke and starts eating.

"Oh, congratulations are in order. You're adding on to the family tree."

Anakin stops chewing and gives Leia an angry look.

"Oh, Daddy, relax. It was bound to come out."

"I would have liked to make the announcement myself. Yes, Han, we're expanding the family. No wisecracks."

"Mrs. S., I hope you get a nice reward."

"Thanks, Han."

"So…are the three tykes going to share the nursery?"

"I haven't given it much thought..."

Leia chimes in. "Mom, I think the room next door would be nice. It's got a nice view of the garden and we can decorate it to look really pretty. Pink wallpaper with little flowers…"

Han is about to take a bite out of his sandwich. "Pink is a nice color."

Anakin takes a bite out of his sandwich without the fixings. Isabel takes it and serves him a new sandwich the way he likes it.. She looks at Li-An.

"Li, what do you want to eat?"

"Mustafwies."

"They're too spicy. How about some Tatooine potatoes?"

"I want mustafwies."

"I don't think we have anymore, Sweetie." She rolls her eyes. She thinks it's time to get Li-An out of the house for a few hours a day. She will speak to Anakin and Master Yoda.

Li-An starts to cry. "But I like mustafwies."

Leia elbows Luke.

"You got him hooked on those things, Luke. This is all your fault."

Anakin turns to Li-An. "How come you can't have pickles, onions or peppers but you can eat mustarfries?"

"I like mustafwies."

Luke gets up and searches the freezer. "Li, I don't think we have anymore…wait…Oooh, Li, look what I found, half a bag of Mustarfries."

"Yeah!" He claps."

Luke pops the fries in the oven. They are ready in seconds. He puts them on a platter on the table. Li-An eats all of three mustarfries. Anakin looks at Luke.

"Don't put those on the grocery list anymore."

"Alright. Geez, Dad."

Isabel reaches for Li-An.

"Want to come upstairs with me? I think you need a nap."

"Yes. Bye-Bye, Daddy!"

"Sleep tight." Anakin points to Alex in the highchair. "What about him?"

Isabel looks at Alex who is calmly playing with a wrapper. "He'll fall asleep. I'll get him later. Enjoy your company."

"What company?"

He looks around the table. All he wants is to be left alone. Obi-Wan, Han, Leia, and Luke are sitting around the table. He wants to choke someone. He looks at Han Solo stuffing his scruffy face with his good food. He looks at his daughter. She's as happy as a Naboo clam, and Luke…Ruwee is right. He should get a haircut. and what's Obi-Wan eating for? Shouldn't he be plastered? Where's that flask? He must have left it at the strip club last night while he was getting a lap dance.

Obi-Wan, reading Anakin quite well since he was a boy, answers

"I am on the wagon for your information, Anakin."

"Which one?"

"Don't be cute, Anakin. How's your forehead?"

"It's fine."

"I got word from four of our friends that you walked into a door."

"Those of whom you speak…they're not my friends. That was a cruel joke. They love to laugh at someone else's expense. Them and their deadpan humor."

"That's all the fun they get in death. You should be grateful. Look at the wonderful life you have. Five beautiful children and a gorgeous wife."

"They tricked me into walking through a door…the rat bastards!"

Han leans over to Leia. "What are they talking about?"

"Some family friends."

"Are those the ones I can't see?"

"Yes."

"This is a weird family."

"I wouldn't talk, Han. You're the one traveling with a walking shag carpet."

"You need to be more open-minded about Chewie."

"That's totally different."

Anakin looks across the table at them.

"Squabbling over his matted walking doormat?" He giggles. He is enjoying the bickering and name-calling. Good. This could be the big breakup he has been waiting for. Obi-Wan Force-Talks to him.

"_Now, Anakin, stop it. Grow up."_

"_But this is hilarious. I love it. Heheheh…"_

Han continues arguing with Leia.

"Chewie is a good friend."

"He has enough hair on him to make toupees."

"Well aren't you stuck up?"

"I'm not stuck up. I just prefer living in a house than in a tree."

"Snob."

"Fur remover."

"Spoiled wench."

"Nerfherder."

Alex laughs and claps.

"Nurf!"

Leia and Han stop their squabbling and laugh with Alex. Luke laughs. Anakin sits back and pouts. Alex continues to clap. Anakin looks at him.

"You need a nap."

Leia looks at her father.

"Oh, Daddy, he's just a baby with a sense of humor."

"Well, I'm taking him away from here before he is totally corrupted by you and that thing you call a boyfriend. Come on, Obi-Wan. I think it's too late for her."

"I think I'll stay. They're quite an entertaining couple."

"Laugh it up. That's your goddaughter who's throwing her life away over some treasure hunting, barn raising, cradle-robbing pirate."

"Oh, Daddy, you like Han. Admit it."

"Just tell him not to raid my refrigerator all night. I need to feed my family in the morning. Hey, your grandfather left some tickets to his new stage play. Why don't you take the cradle-robber with you?"

He hands her some tickets.

"There are five tickets, Daddy."

"Take Luke. He can take that wild child girlfriend of his. High time she got some culture."

Luke laughs. "I don't know. Mara might fall asleep. She's not into plays"

"How do you know? An evening at the theatre might do her some good."

"Oh right, Daddy. You drag your heels when Mom wants you to go to the opera or the ballet. You squirm in your seat for two hours and hang around the concession stand until the lights flash during intermission."

"Never you mind about me. Hey, I was just released from the hospital. I'm recovering. Get out of here. Leave me in peace."

Leia cajoles Obi-Wan.

"Obi-Wan. You want to go with us tonight?"

"No…no…thanks, my dear but I have my own brand of evening entertainment."

"Does it involve stuffing cash into g-strings of entertainer's names Ginger and Taffy?"

"Those girls work hard for their money. They are serious entertainers."

"Yeah…riiight. Have a good time, Obi-Wan."

Anakin takes Alex upstairs.

Leia goes to grab Luke by the arm.

"You're going to this crappy play with me and Han tonight."

Han raises his finger to object.

"Hold on, Leia. I haven't committed to going."

"Oh, you're going. I'm not going by myself."

"Oh, come on, Leia. He's not going to notice if we don't announce it."

"You're going and so is Luke."

Luke shouts in surprise.

"What? I thought we were just humoring Dad. Are you out of your freaking mind?"

"Hey, he said we needed to support the old crow so let's go. It might turn out to be fun. We have two more tickets. We need to drag someone else along on this fright-fest."

Luke picks up the phone. The discussion is not easy.

"Well get ready. I'm picking you up in at 7 o'clock….I don't care. You're going. Oh, stop crying. It's not as if you haven't worked with him. Oh come on, we're all going. We have orchestra seats. It'll be great."

Luke hangs up and gets on another call.

"Hello….of course it's me….how would you like to go see ol' Palps perform tonight at the Senior Theatre Centre? He needs some fans…I think it'll be cool…yeah, my dad is forcing us to go. I thought it would be great to hang out with you tonight. Really… It'll be fun. Trust me. We'll make a night of it."

That evening Alex and Li-An accompany their father at the door as he sees Luke, Leia and their friends off to see the show in town.

Li-An waves to them.

"Bye, Luke, bye Leiya."

Alex follows his lead.

"Bye-bye!"

Leia looks back at them.

"Dad, why don't you let us bring them?"

"Very funny. Get out of here."

'We'll bring you back a programme."

Luke, Han, and Leia go to pick up their theatre guests on the way.

Luke stops the speeder in front of an apartment building. Someone waves to them from the lobby.

"Meesa think yousa make big practical joke."

"No Jar-Jar. It's no Joke."

"Whosa Weesa gonna pick up next?"

"Oh, that Mara. She was whining on the phone."

Leia interrupts.

'That's because she's a basket case."

Luke drives up to Mara's house. Mara is standing in front of her door. She is pouting.

Luke gets out of the vehicle and walks over to her.

"What was all that crying about?"

"No reason. I just wanted to see if you'd really come get me. It's kind of boring in my house tonight. How do I look?"

She twirls around for him. The tight black leather dress has a low back. Luck is about to ask her if she's considered the evening weather but then he sees a matching jacket in her hand.

"Very nice. What's with the dress?"

"I never get to go out to fancy shows."

"Mara, this is the Senior Citizen's Performance Centre. There's no need to get dressed up. Get in the car."

They arrive at the Shady Acres Senior Community Centre. A red carpet is laid out leading to the theatre.

All the silver and blue-haired old ladies file into the building. Luke and his 'entourage' is the youngest of the theatergoers at the event. They walk up to the ticket taker. He is an elderly man with a thick mane of white hair.

An even older man, dressed as an usher escorts the five to their seats in the orchestra section. Luke gives the man a tip.

Mara takes her seat and quickly begins to flip through her Playbill for _'The Glass Menagerie'._ Han looks at his Playbill then leans over to Leia and whispers to her.

"Has he really performed all of these roles?"

"I doubt it. He has delusions of grandeur. On the other hand, he has been busy lately. He's left us alone for awhile, thank God."

Han runs down the list of credits Palpatine has reputedly performed. ' _Sith on a Hot Tin Roof?' _What is this crap? He played the lead _'Brick'_. I thought he's be playing _'Big Daddy' _Ewww."

Leia giggles.

"He is his own biggest fan. Ever since he lost his powers he's been living the life of a stage actor."

"Oh come on! Leia…,_ 'Driving Queen Jamillia_?_'_ Oh, here's one I can believe._ 'The Sith Odd Couple.' _Oh no…_'The Producers?' _Give me a break!"

An old woman behind them leans in and shushes them.

"Shush!"

Leia looks behind her and sees the old woman.

"Shush yourself, Lady. The crappy show hasn't even started yet."

As the woman is telling Leia and her group to be quiet, another senior citizen and resident of Shady Acres starts grumbling to his wife that he cannot see pass the Gungan's ears. Each time the couple shift position in their seats, Jar-Jar moves too.

The lights dim and the show is about to start. Mara opens up a container of nachos and starts eating.

Scene one:

There are three actors on stage. An old woman dressed like a middle-aged person, another old woman dressed as a young girl, and Palpatine performing as a young man. Luke, Leia, Han, Mara, and Jar-Jar sit with their mouths hung open. The play continues to the following scene. The dialogue shocks them even more.

'_I'm goin' to the movies, ma'._

'_I don't believe it, that's a lie!'_

'_No? Well you're right, Mother. I'm going to opium dens. Yes, mother. Opium dens. Dens of vice and criminal's hangouts, mother, I am a hired assassin, I joined the Hogan gang, I carry a Tommy gun in a violin case, and I run a stream of cat houses in the valley, they call me Killer, Killer Wingfield, see I'm leading a double life, really, a simple honest warehouse worker by day, but by night a dynamic czar of the underworld, mother, I just go to gambling casinos, spin away fortune on the roulette tables, mother, I wear a patch over one eye, and a false moustache and sometimes I put on green whiskers, on, on those occasions, they call me "El Diablo," I can tell you many things to make you sleepless, mother, my enemies plan to dynamite this place, they're gonna blow us sky high! And I will be glad? I will be very happy, and so will you be. You will go up, up, up, over Blue Mountain, on a broomstick with seventeen gentleman callers! You ugly, babbling old witch!'_

Mara laughs out loud.

"That's his mother? They're all so old!"

"Shhhush!" The couple behind them is angry.

Jar-Jar turns and sticks out his tongue at the couple splattering them with drool. Palpatine hears the disruption from the stage. Luke, Leia, and Han are laughing.

An usher comes down the aisle and listens to the complaint from the couple sitting behind them. The usher whispers to Leia and her group.

"Miss, if you don't get your group under control, I'll be forced to ask you all to leave."

"My grandfather is performing tonight. He'll be quite upset if he doesn't see us at the end of the show."

"I'm asking you to keep it down."

"Yes, Sir."

During intermission, the five all go to a corner of the lobby and giggle.

Han covers his mouth.

"Is this a drama or comedy?"

"It's a nightmare."

Mara giggles.

"They're so old. Is that woman playing the girl supposed to be lame? She's in a walker!"

Leia tries to make her lower her voice.

"Shhhhush…I know but let's just sit through this and get out of here before they throw us out."

"Okay, but this show is so funny."

"I know, I know, but we have to be here." The intermission lights flash. "We have to go back inside."

They file back in the theatre to their seats.

The curtain comes up and the scene begins. Mara starts laughing before any of the actors speak. Luke whispers to her.

"Shhh. Mara, are you high?"

"Of course not, but you would need to be to sit through this."

As the play proceeds, there is a scene where the actors playing 'Laura' and 'Jim' speak.

'_Someone ought to kiss you, Laura.'_

Han and the others squirm in their seats. Leia and Mara both shout.

"Ewwww"

The two senior actors are in a wrinkled lip lock.

Jar-Jar shouts.

"Theesa be just disgusting. Old lips sink starships!"

The usher walks down the aisle and stares at them once more. Jar-Jar pretends to pay attention to the performance.

Mara meanwhile is doing something to distract the actors. She is crossing and uncrossing her legs in the little leather dress she is wearing. The actors are flubbing their lines. The old actor playing the role of 'Jim.' speaks his line when he sees Mara flash him. He faints. There is a five-minute delay. The play resumes. Palpatine, who plays the role of _'Tom'_, gives the group a dirty look. He speaks his lines.

'_I didn't go to the moon, I went much further - for time is the longest distance between places. Not long after that I was fired for writing a poem on the lid of a shoebox.'_

"The moon? Yousa didn't go far enough. Theesa play sucks."

Palpatine whispers angrily to Jar-Jar.

"Shut up you bubbling Gungan!"

"Blah!"

At the end of the play, the curtain comes down. Mara stands and claps. The curtain rises again and the actors come back onto the stage to take a bow. The audience applauds. Mara and Luke do finger whistles.

The 'Fab-five' hustle to the back stage to see the actors. Palpatine is dressed in a navy velveteen smoking jacket with a red and while silk ascot. He sees the pack enter his dressing room. They have to fight with the guards and ushers to get through. One of the guards apologizes to the old sith.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Palpatine. They brushed pass me. They said they know you."

Palpatine smiles embarrassed then nods.

"It's alright. I know them."

Leia grins and hands him a bouquet of flowers.

"Congratulations."

"Thank you, Leia."

Luke gives him two thumbs up.

"Hey, Palps, You had the audience on their feet. That's hard to do when they're all in wheelchairs and walkers!"

"I see your father couldn't make it."

"Well, you know…it's tough when you have little kids."

"So, you came with your motley crew, I see."

Han takes offense.

"Who are you calling motley, old man?"

"Miss Jade, it would serve you well if you learn how to be a lady in public."

"I was being a lady."

"…And Mr. Solo. My granddaughter still thinks you're the proper escort to an event such as this."

"I did it for her. I had a nice nap."

Someone in the crowd of well-wishers approaches the old Sith.

"Dantius, your performance was splendid. Congratulations!"

"Thank you Abner, Agnes. It's so good to see you here tonight. Have you met my Grandchildren, Luke, and Leia?"

The couple turns. Luke and Leia are horrified when they come face to face with the couple they were fighting with in the audience. Palpatine introduces them.

"Luke, Leia, this is Mr. and Mrs. Kravitz. Mr. Kravitz is the producer of the show."

Mrs. Kravitz is not at all pleased when she meets the twins, especially Leia. She manages a forced sarcastic smile.

"Oh, these are your grandchildren…darling things."

Leia is embarrassed but she also wants to laugh. She shakes their hands. Luke does the same.

"Hello. Nice to meet you. My. Father has a secretary named Gladys."

"That's lovely, but my name is Agnes." She is not impressed. Luke can't think of anything else to say.

Palpatine briefly introduces their friends.

"…and these are their friends. I'm sure you have already met."

Mara winks, Jar-Jar tries to avoid making eye contact since spraying them in the face. He whistles and looks around.

Palpatine looks at the five.

"Well, Im sure you're tired and need to get home to bed."

Mrs. Kravitz speaks to Palpatine.

"Dantius, I hope we'll see you at the opening night cocktail party later."

"Yes, I'll be there."

Leia's ears perk up.

"Cocktail party? We'll be there too, gramps!"

"Leia, I'm sure you'll need to get home and your friends as well…"

"What? You're not inviting your grandchildren who came out to support you?"

Han stares at Leia in disbelief.

Jar-Jar chimes in.

"Weesa sat for two hours. Weesa numb on the bum. Weesa deserve retribution!"

Palpatine looks as if he wants to kill someone. He smiles at the twins so as not to be embarrassed with all the cast and supporters in the room.

"Oh, you lovely children….I'll see you there. Of course you're welcome."

The entourage head over to the penthouse suite of the director of the show. The party is a lavish display. Wine and champagne is flowing. Mara and Jar-Jar help themselves to the buffet table and grab food from the waiters circulating the room. Luke, Leia, and Han make their way through the room.

Palpatine cannot seem to get away from them. He has to introduce the twins and their friends to the other guests.

They finally get bored enough to leave after an hour. Luke and Leia arrive home just past midnight after dropping off their guests. Anakin is sitting in the living room in the dark. Leia screams.

"Oh sith! Why do you do that?"

"Be quiet. I had to sit up for the past twenty minutes listening to the old man complaining about your behavior this evening."

"Oh please…that play was so boring."

"He said Jar-Jar argued with the producer who was sitting behind you and Mara flashed one of the actors. They had to stop the show to give him oxygen."

"They're old, Daddy. What did you expect?"

"He said Han was snoring through the second half."

Leia points an accusing finger at her father.

"Well, it's all your fault. We were forced to go to that Rocky horror show."

"I thought at least you'd behave for a couple of hours."

Luke chuckles as his father says this.

"Dad, you know better than to send us to a public event with him."

"That's no excuse. You were disrespectful and I want you to apologize in the morning."

Leia is angry and defiant.

"No, I won't do it! That wrinkled old tattletale. He couldn't wait to blab."

"Well, I still want you to apologize. I'm going back to bed. I need my sleep. Your mother made me baby-sit tonight. Li and Alex finally went to sleep an hour ago."

"Ha-ha! Wait till the next one. You're going to want to kill yourself then."

"I won't let the next one get corrupted like you corrupted Li and Alex. I'm going to get respect and this one's not going to push me around."

"Sure, Daddy. You keep that dream going."

Leia pats him on the face then goes upstairs to bed. Luke winks and gives his father the 'thumbs up.'

"You're the boss, Dad!" Luke disappears upstairs to his room.

"I'm serious. I want you to apologize tomorrow! I'm not joking!"

Morning -

The next morning Luke and Leia show up in Palpatine's dressing room. He opens the door and groans.

"Oh, it's you. What is it?"

"Are you mad at us?"

"Well, your behavior was far from stellar last night."

"Well, we came to apologize."

"Well, thank you."

"You're a big tattletale, you know that? You told on us?"

"I just want your respect. That's why I told him."

"Well, it won't happen this way, old man."

"He told me to call him when I was satisfied with your apology."

"What? We could be here all day!"

"That's the idea."

"Well, we could hang out and straighten up your room…or we could sit through another performance. Can we invite some friends?"

Palpatine quickly picks up the phone and dials.

"It's me…Anakin, can't you give a civil answer?...Yes, I' satisfied…They can go. Goodbye." He hangs up and looks at the twins. "You're free to go."

Leia smiles.

"Oh really? Ok…bye."

"Break a leg, Palps!"

"Thank you, Luke."

Leia turns and waves her hand.

"Really, break a leg."

They leave the theatre. Palpatine gets up from his chair to reach for a clean towel. His robe gets caught on the chair. During the matinee performance, he hobbles on stage with the aid of crutches.

_To be continued… 'First Day of Youngling School and Other Preparations'_

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_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this heart wrenching story of rebirth and forgiveness.**_

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	112. Chapter 112 Youngling School

_Chapter 112_

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'_Youngling School and Other Preparations'_

'_Galactic Parenting'_

'_First Job'_

'_New Rules for Old School'_

'_Games People Play'_

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A few months pass. Much has changed since Anakin was hospitalized. Leia has started her first job at the Displaced children's Centre at Coruscant University. She enjoys her work but she spends less time with Han. He lets her find her way in her new career. He believes in letting her have her space. He knew she wanted this job and he was not going to stand in her way.

Luke is still busy with his padawan and working with Jocasta Nu's assistant in the Jedi Archives. He originally had no interest in being a glorified librarian during his shift break at the Jedi Temple and the data he has access to is fascinating. He has lots of historical information at his disposal.

Mara meanwhile, is honing her skills as an official Jedi but she still requires much discipline. She is late to many of her assignments and finds her new Master boring.

At the Skywalker home, Isabel is frustrated with a strong-willed little Youngling. She told Anakin that she did not want Li-An to become a Jedi and she still doesn't but he is strong-willed like his father. She is constantly chasing him around the house. Alex follows his brother's example. Two little boys running about are more than she can handle right now. Obi-Wan suggests a nanny or Youngling training to get rid of all of Li-An's excess energy. She needs a break, at least for three to four hours a day. Anakin contacts Yoda and gloats in an 'I told you so' fashion to Isabel. He knew Li-An was going to break her down sooner or later. He waits for the magic moment when she has had enough. Anakin smiles with glee.

Qui-Gon and Mace Windu knew it was time for Li-An to spend some time away from home. It would have to be nursery school or Youngling Training. Isabel's growing frustration with her mother didn't help matters. Ouisanne would indulge the toddler. Anakin would watch his wife feel defeat when 'Nana' would visit and spoil the grandchildren. He was thrilled because he knew eventually Isabel would give in and beg Anakin to take him to Yoda. She did not want to chase this little boy, especially with another baby on the way.

Li-An would get into mischief daily. Isabel would usually find her child in some trouble during the day.

Just as she is catching up with Alex, She has to immediately look around for Li-An.

"Li-An, where are you?"

"I'm busy."

"Doing what?"

"Something."

Artoo leads the way. Isabel follows.

Isabel heads for the kitchen. She looks under the counter then decides to look up. The astromech droid points out to Isabel just where her child is. .Li-An is on the top shelf in the cupboard with a bag of Kashyyyk Chocolate Biscotti. Alex follows her into the kitchen.

"Come down."

"No. You're going to take away my biscotti."

"It will be dinner time soon."

"But I want this now."

"Hand me that bag."

"No. Isabow, you be good!"

"You be good."

"I'm telling Daddy."

'Tell him and he'll take care of you real good.."

He climbs down and hands her the bag. He walks away but points to her before leaving the kitchen.

"Isabow, you don't play fair."

"I know. I'm you're mother. I don't know how to play fair."

"I'm going to tell Anakin."

"Anakin's not here."

"I'm going to call Nana."

"There's the phone, dial away."

"I don't know her number."

"Well, that's unfortunate, isn't it?"

"What's her number?"

"I can't tell you that."

"Why?"

"She's your friend, not mine."

"Please?"

"No. I can't do it.. I'm sorry."

"Alex, come on. Don't play with her."

"Bye-Bye my little ones. Bye Alex. I guess you don't want dessert tonight either."

"Cake."

"No. Cake is not on the menu tonight. There's fruit and custard."

Alex looks back at his mother, then at Li-An.

"Mama." He hurries over to Isabel. She picks him up. Li-An looks up at his mother.

"Please, Maamee."

"No. You've been terrible to me all day."

"I love you."

"My answer is still no."

At this very moment, Anakin comes home. Li-An greets him at the door.

"Ani, Isabow won't give me cake."

"Is that so?"

"Yes."

"How terrible."

"You can give me cake."

"No. You're mother is the boss of the kitchen. I can't help you."

"I want to go see Nana."

"Nana can't come over."

"Why?"

"She's been banned."

"What's that?"

"She can't visit."

"I want Grand pop."

"He's busy."

"Who can give me cake?"

"No one."

The doorbell rings. Threepio answers the door.

"Oh, Hello Master Yoda. It's so good to see to this afternoon."

"Step aside and let me in. Chatter too much you do."

"Well!"

Yoda makes his way into the living room. He sees Anakin and Li-An still negotiating for sweets.

"Here I am, Anakin. Hello, Young one."

Li-An looks at Yoda then turns to his father as he points in the old Master's direction.

"Can Yoda give me cake?"

Yoda speaks.

"No, Yoda gives no cake, Young one."

Li-An lays his head in Anakin's lap as Anakin sits on the sofa. He looks at Yoda and shrugs.

"He's a little bummed out today."

"Come with me he must. Spoil him, Anakin, you do."

"What about Isabel?"

"Undermine her parenting you do. Go find something to do. Watch pod racing in your office. Leave little Ani tot with me."

"You always take her side."

"Get out. Go!"

Anakin goes to his study. Yoda turns and winks at Isabel.

"Thank you, Yoda."

"Feel your pain, I do. Anakin pain in the ass. Come with me, Terrible tot."

Yoda and Li-An sit out on the patio.

"How many years are you, Young Skywalker?"

"This many." He holds up three fingers.

"What do you do all day?"

"Play with Alex. Sit with Luke. We play games."

"What games?"

"Ball."

"What do you do with mother?"

"Weed and say alphabet."

"Let's hear it."

"A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Coo R S Tee U Fee Dubeeyoo X Y Cee...Now I said my A-Bee-C's tell me what you sink of mee.! Ta-da! Yaaahh !" He applauds. Bitchin'

"Very nice. You are smart one. Who else helps you learn things?"

"Ki-Gon. Luke, Leiya."

"What has he got to teach you?"

"He shows me how to find cake."

"Brilliant. What about Master Windu?"

"He said Count Dooku is a _'sithead''_"

"Is that so? What else did you heard?"

"Ani said Nurf is baby wobber."

"Do you know what that is?"

"He wobs babies."

"Ok, enough. I have heard. Play with droid sphere. Yoda come back."

Yoda goes to the Day room and summons the four ghosts.

"Mace, Qui-Gon! Aayla, Ki-Adi. Show yourselves!"

Mace appears.

'_Yes, Yoda? How you doin' man?'_

"Watch language in presence of Skywalker tots! Be responsible! Qui-Gon!"

'_You rang?'_

"Stop undermining Isabel. Li-An needs discipline! Cannot train Youngling when you interfere."

Aayla whispers to Ki-Adi. "He doesn't need us. We don't teach him bad habits."

"You do not enforce good behavior! You must be a good example! Shame on all of you!"

'_We apologize, Master Yoda, and we promise to be good role models for the little one from now on.'_

"Qui-Gon and Master Windu?"

'_Alright! We heard you! No more blue language and no more bad habits.'_

"Do it or be banned you will from communing with Skywalker children."

The four ghosts heed the Jedi Master's words. Yoda leaves them to bicker over who is the worst influence.

'_You contribute nothing to the child's upbringing.'_

Ki-Adi barks back.

'_At least I have never taught him bad habits…Mace and Qui-Gon.'_

Aayla supports Ki-Adi._ 'You and Mace have the most influence on him and you say the wrong things in his presence.'_

Yoda bursts into Anakin's study. Anakin has Boba Fett, Lando Calrissian and another gullible newbie pit officer on the monitor discussing a pod race. All three quickly sign off leaving Anakin alone.

"You let Youngling watch you bet on pod races?"

"Well…"

Yoda starts whaling on Anakin with his gimer stick.

"Oww! I told you to stop that! Hey!" Anakin hops around his chair trying to avoid the old Master's stick.

"Anakin, you are a bad influence. Sit!" Anakin sits back in his chair behind his desk. Yoda pokes him in the ribs with the gimer stick. This time it tickles. Anakin giggles."

"Hey! What's with the tickle stick, old man?"

"Funny this is not! Language, discussing adult topics, gambling, spoiling with sweets. You are not being a good parent! Starting tomorrow, I take Youngling to Jedi Temple with me. Three days a week. Four hours each day. Alex will be next year and new Skywalker baby, you will be forbidden to spend time alone. Clean up your act!"

"You can't do that!"

"Can and will." He pokes Anakin once more.

"Ouch!"

"Well…how come only three days? Why not all five days?"

"Yours is not to question! Besides, three days all I can take of Skywalker children. 100 years Leia took off my life when she was Youngling. Aging fast I am. Luke was no picnic either."

"I bet those other kids at the Academy aren't any better."

"Humph! Clueless father you are." He whacks him again.

"Ouch! Watch the knees!"

The Jedi Master leaves the study. Lando appears on the monitor again.

"Hey, Anakin, old buddy, how're you doing?"

"Oh Now you show up. Why, you slimy, double-crossing, no-good swindler! You've got a  
lot of guts coming back here. Coward!"

"It's not my fault! What was I supposed to do?"

"I was being assaulted by that little slap-happy maniac."

"Anakin, you'll pull through, you always do."

"That stick stings."

Yoda heads for the living room to speak to Isabel.

"All will be well, Isabel. Disciplining influences needed. The twins, where are they?"

"They should be on their way home."

"Hmmm…yesss…I hear one coming now."

Luke walks through the door. Yoda whacks him with the stick.

"Owww! Hey, hey! What's up with that?"

"Bitchin'? You teach that to your little brother?"

"He heard me say it once! He says it after he says the alphabet. It was funny!"

"Everything so funny to you, eh? Just one laugh after another, eh?" He whacks Luke again. "Clean up your language."

Leia arrives shortly after. She giggles as she sees Luke getting hit with the stick. She quickly sneaks around to the door to the garden and starts to sneak upstairs. Yoda calls her.

"Leia?"

She whispers

"Oh, _'sith'_! Yes, Master Yoda. How are you? It's been awhile. You look great." Her voice is polite a saccharine sweet.

"Over 900 years I am, how well do you think I am? Come sit with me, Leia. Long time it has been we do not talk."

"Well, You know…new job…busy schedule…Heheheh"

"No more talking about your boyfriend in presence of younglings and no more using of bad language when referring to Former Emperor."

"Ok. I can live with that, Master Yoda."

"Make sure you do." Just as Leia thinks she is in the clear, Yoda whacks her on the legs with the gimer stick.

"Hey! What was that for?"

"Your brother gets the stick and so do you."

"Okay! I get the point." She rolls her eyes and heads up the stairs. "Crazy old coot."

Yoda returns to the patio to check on Li-An. He is doing well with his exercises.

"Ok, little one. Go play."

"Yaahh.!"

Yoda sits with Isabel to reassure her.

"Your child will learn to behave like a Jedi. Alex, you be good."

"Good babee."

"Yes…Isabel, your family is strong. We will fix everything." He sits and listens . He is communing with baby number five. He smiles. "This one loves her daddy already. Ha-ha! Much to learn she has, Heheheh. Well, in the morning I will see Li-An Skywalker. Isabel, not to worry. Much care I will take of this one.

"Thank you, Master Yoda."

After Master Yoda leaves, Anakin emerges from his study. He stands over the sofa where his wife is sitting.

"Is he gone? How come he didn't go ape-crazy on you with that stick? Oh, I forgot, you're_ 'Little Miss Perfect.'_"

"Don't start with me, Anakin. I'm in no mood. You were hiding in your study?"

"Oh be quiet!"

Next Morning -

Li-An starts his first day at Youngling training. Anakin drops him off. The two look at one another.

"Daddee, I don't want to stay here. I won't kuss anymore."

"You're not being punished, sweetie. It is time for your training. Yoda got upset because you picked up a few curse words. Listen, Li-An. I don't care about the curse words; just don't use them here in class. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Who's the man?"

"I'm the man!"

"I'm the man!"

"No you're not, Daddee. Hahahaha!"

"Okay, you're the man. Go show those kids that you're going to be the best Jedi ever."

"Come wis me, Daddee."

"I can't. Yoda says I have to come back later. He doesn't trust me. I've got to let you learn. I'll be back in a few hours, I promise. No crying. Jedi's don't cry." He wipes his son's tears. Anakin wants to cry too. He never thought he would do this. He takes a deep breath then gives his son a nudge. Li-An looks back at his father as Yoda arrives to usher the Youngling through the door. Anakin stands and waves. He watches the door close.

Anakin returns home. He calls Gladys to let her know he won't be coming into the office today. Anakin arrives home. Isabel greets him with a fresh glass of pera juice. Instead of taking it, he embraces her and cries. She sets it on the table in the foyer. He didn't quite know what came over him. He didn't do this with the twins…not really. Luke went happily and willingly, but then again, Luke didn't live with Anakin fulltime back then. He was brave for a three-year old back then. He knew he wanted to make his father proud. Leia was a little harder but he handled it. Li-An was different. He had his mother and siblings. He was still a baby. Anakin was there at his birth. Anakin is shocked at his reaction, however because, he was the one telling Isabel that Li-An will go to training that she had to let go. Now he is the one crying and she is his support. Isabel is good at things like this. As obnoxious and frustrating as her husband could be, she knows that it's partially posturing. He's not so tough all the time. She smoothes his beautiful hair then gently strokes his back.

"There, there. It was hard wasn't it?"

"Isabel, it broke my heart to leave him. He was so sad."

"It's only for a few hours. You'll see him at two o'clock."

"That's almost forever."

Isabel rolls her eyes and smiles. They go to the dayroom and relax on the daybed. By the time they wake up from the short nap, it is time to go pick up their Youngling. Isabel goes to the nursery to get Alex.

When they arrive, Isabel remains outside with Alex who is calmly playing with his training sphere droid in his stroller. Anakin is inside chatting with Master Yoda. Who informs him that Li-An demonstrates great concentration. He explains that without the home distractions, Li-An proves to be a powerful force. He is talented and demonstrates in class that he is a born leader. He shows the other Younglings how to wield a practice lightsaber. He has had lots of practice from Luke with a real lightsaber. This is forbidden, but Luke sees an innate talent in his younger brother. The secret training has helped. Li-An walks up to his father and bows as a proper Jedi should. Anakin reciprocates. He thinks he has lost his little boy in just one day. The young child waves goodbye to his Master.

"Bye-bye Master Yoda."

"Goodbye, Young Skywalker. Tomorrow see you again I will."

Li-An takes his father's hand as they leave the classroom. They meet Isabel in the courtyard. Li-An kisses his little brother and hugs his mother. Isabel suggests the playground not far from the Jedi Temple. The children play. Anakin is having a wonderful afternoon but he misses the toddler who climbs in his lap as Anakin watches the pod races on the plasma. Li-An surprises his father by leaping from the playground fort onto his father's shoulders and covers Anakin's eyes.

"Guess who, Daddy?"

"Oh…this is going to be difficult….is it a Dewback?"

"No."

"A Nexu?"

"Hahahaha! No!"

"Who is it?"

"It's mee!"

"Oh, it is you!"

"Silly Daddy!"

Isabel sits back on the bench and watches them play.

After an hour of decompressing, the family returns home. Dinner is as lively as always. Leia tells everyone about her day at her new job. She reunited two families separated during the reign of the Empire. Luke tells how the Archival assistant dropped 60 data files and had to catalog them.

Li-An tells everyone about his day in Youngling training class. Alex is curled up in his mother's arms. He is relaxed and happy.

Bedtime comes around. Li-An and Alex are in their beds as Anakin reads them a bedtime story. It is a Skywalker children's favorite _'Burney the Spotted Fambaa.' _Anakin couldn't believe this book was still around. He hated this book but over the years, he developed a strange sentimental fondness for it. During those difficult days when Luke and Leia moved in with him, he tried everything to win their hearts. This included reading everything insipid children's book they had on the bookshelf. It has become a favorite of all the Skywalker children. Leia even passed down her stuffed Fambaa to Li-An and Alex. Alex used to be terrified of the spotted creature as an infant but now he sleeps with it in his bed. Anakin is hoping that one day the critter will get devoured by the clothes dryer. …And why hasn't Skippy torn this thing to shreds? The dog is slipping on the job. Skippy is resting peacefully at the foot of Li-An's bed. He has no tie to devour some ancient stuffed toy. The thing is too ugly and unworthy of his titanium jaws. Besides, he would miss the stupid-looking toy. They are hard to find these days. It's practically a collector's item if you can believe it.

After Anakin finishes reading the book, Li-An reaches for his father and hugs him.

"I missed you today, Daddy."

"I missed you too, sweetie. Are you ready for another day with Master Yoda?"

Li-An nods 'Yes.'

"Good boy. I'm proud of you."

"Are you going to pick me up tomorrow, Daddy?"

"I wouldn't miss it. Gladys promises to get me out of the office on time to pick you up."

"Okay."

"Love you."

"I Love you too, Daddy."

Anakin slides over to Alex's bed and pulls the rail down for a moment. Alex wants to be a big boy and no longer likes the crib. Anakin buys him a new bed with a guardrail. Alex's tiny body is almost lost in the bed. He feels his diaper. Still dry. Alex may be ready for toilet training sooner than expected. As long as that idiot pirate Han Solo doesn't interfere with his worthless theories. Anakin kisses him. Alex is already asleep. Anakin lies beside him and strokes his hair. The delicate scent of the baby shampoo filters up his nose. He can feel his heart beating. Anakin wonders why he has gone from the depths of Hell to this blessed moment. He is truly grateful.

Day Two in Training -

Anakin daydreams through a good part of a board meeting with Chancellor Valorum, General Tagge, Governor Tarkin, and other officials. He is waiting for his beeper to sound so he can leave.

"Anakin, any thoughts? Your input is important to us."

"Take them out to lunch."

"Are you sure that's wise, Anakin? Most are in maximum security prisons. It's of no advantage to us to negotiate with the 501st Legion."

"Oh, did I say lunch? I meant launch a missile. Nuke the bastards."

His beeper goes off.

"Are we keeping you from something? Uhm…I have to go. I trust you'll make the right decision without me."

He leaves the room. Anakin returns to his office and takes a memo from Gladys.

"Is it that time, Gladys?"

"In ten minutes Mr. Skywalker. Picking up the little one from class?"

"Yes, Gladys. I think he's holding up well. It's only the first week."

"That's wonderful, Sir. And, might I add that you look very much like the proud father."

"I am, Gladys, I truly feel that way."

"Good for you, Sir. How are the twins doing? I haven't seen them since Alex's birthday party."

"They are doing great. Luke has a new apprentice and Leia loves her job."

"Any sign of wedding bells?"

"Wedding bells? For who?"

"Why Leia of course. I thought that that nice pilot would have proposed by now."

"God, No! Leia is totally engrossed in her work. That scrufhound boyfriend of hers is in Kashyyyk swinging in the trees with those apes."

"There are no apes on Kashyyyk, Sir. The Planet of the Apes does but they're in Wild Space. I believe you are referring to the Wookies, Mr. Skywalker."

"Wookie…ape…a tree on either planet is bound to have some furry creature in it. My daughter is not going to live in a tree."

"How is everything else at home? Is Luke still seeing that sweet little redheaded girl?"

"Oh, _'Too Hot to Handle Barbie'_? He sees her occasionally. My mother-In Law wants to give her a makeover. I told her good luck."

"Now, Anakin…she's a lovely girl…rough around the edges but I think, with time, she'll mellow out."

"Like a bottle rocket? That'll happen. My kids are picking some real prizes, Gladys. I think they're doing it to annoy me."

"I don't believe that for one minute and neither do you."

"Well…whatever….I'm going to pick up my son. Before some 'Junior Lolita' in that class tries to mess with his head."

"You have a great afternoon, Sir."

"You too, Gladys. Thanks."

Anakin heads to he Jedi Temple to pick up his little prodigy. Anakin breaks with the guidelines and takes Li-An out for ice cream. He knows Yoda will be angry but even Anakin is starting to agree with his wife that children must be permitted to behave like children. He respects the Jedi traditions but does not agree with all the sacrifices.

Day Three -

Yoda chastises Anakin for the ice cream breech. Anakin tells him to lighten up. He wants his children to be happy.

On the way out of the Jedi Temple, he chats with his son after Li-An leaps in his arms.

"You did well today. I'm proud of you. Want ice cream?"

"No. I want to go home to Maamee."

"You do? Oh, honey…"

Yoda walks up to them before they make a clean getaway.

"Young one appreciates his mother I see."

"Yes, she hasn't tucked him into bed this week since he started class."

Anakin kisses Li-An as the child rests his head on his father's shoulder.

"Go home. Be with you mother. See you next week."

Anakin nods 'Yes' and heads for his YUV.

When the two arrive home, Li-An runs to his mother and curls up on the chaise with her in her boudoir. Anakin gives them this time alone. Isabel reads to him. They read _'Chewie and Boga Have a Picnic.'_

Isabel is glad to have her child back. Li-An tells his mother not to worry. He likes Youngling Training but he loves his mother first.

Anakin goes to his study to watch some early afternoon pod racing on the sports network before dinner. Lando, Boba, and a brand new pit officer are on the monitor screens placing their bets. Lando turns the frequency of the audio so only Anakin can hear him. Lando tells Anakin he feels guilty about taking credits from another naive officer. Anakin replies:

"Don't feel guilty; you're not going to take his money because you're not going to win!"

"Anakin, you rat bastard."

"Watch the language; Yoda doesn't want the kids picking up unacceptable words in their vocabulary."

"Can we write it on the screen?"

"Hey! That's a cool idea."

The men resort to scribbling on the screen like a group of juveniles. They wind up laughing at the text, littered with profanity, and forgetting about the race. The pit office is in for a surprise.

"Hey, guys! I won! I actually won! I've never won anything in my life. This is so cool. I believe I'm due 500 credits Thank-you very much."

If he weren't so cocky about it, Anakin wouldn't have been tempted to Force-choke him through the monitor. Lando pleads with Anakin but Anakin not happy. He didn't mind losing to Lando or even Boba Fett, but to a lowly impish little pit officer? Hell, no! The officer is only choked until he passes out.

Lando, weary of Anakin's temper tantrums, rubs his forehead.

"Anakin, you promised. That wasn't the plan. This game is getting worse all the time."

Boba Fett shrugs.

"But this is the fun part. I don't have to get off my ass to track him down if he makes a run for it." Boba draws a stick figure being choked. Everyone laughs.

Anakin laughs.

"Oh, relax, Lando. He'll be all right. He'll be 500 credits light but he'll live. Cocky little _sith_" Anakin mocks the officer. _'I believe I'm due 500 credits.' _He rolls his eyes. "You're due 500 credits my ass! Whew, this guy cracked me up. What a way to start out on your new job!

Lando shakes his head.

"Anakin, you have no mercy."

"I know, ain't it great? We get into all sorts of high jinks and no one is around to nag us."

"Anakin!"

"Oh, sith! Man!"

Lando and Boba Fett bail.

"Oops, look at the time, gotta go."

"Me too. We'll talk later, Anakin."

Anakin storms upstairs to see his wife.

"Yes?"

"Keep your voice down, Li-An is sleeping. I want to know…"

"Listen, what I do in my study is my business. If I want to watch pod racing with a few friends, that's none of your business. Anyway, he won't be unconscious for long…"

"What? I called you to ask if you wanted to cook on the grill tonight. What did you do? Who's passed out?"

"Uhm…uh…nothing."

"I know the usual suspects, Anakin. I can call and everyone is going to fess up. I've got a phone and I can dial your old pal Lando. Well?"

"We'll cook on the grill! Alright, fine! I cho….I cho…"

Anakin cannot get the words out and he does not want her to dial Lando's house because his wife will answer and then they're both done for. Now she knows he choked one of his officers

"Come on, Anakin, you can tell me, sweetie. Come here."

He leans over. She whacks him on the head with a fashion magazine. The heavy special edition copy. He sees stars.

"Owww…Come on, Yoda already hit me this week."

"I want you to apologize to whomever you tortured and then I want you to start up the grill. There's some Kashyyyk prawns and Sea Bass in the fridge. Don't look at me with that pout on your face. Go. Go!"

Anakin mutters to himself on his way downstairs. He goes to the patio and starts the grill.

"Who does she think she is?" '_Anakin do this, Anakin do that.' Don't wake the children. You apologize!'_ _Sith!_ I should have just killed the little twit. She's going to call Lando. Who does she think she is? I don't _effing_ believe her!" He mocks her and puts his hand on his hip. _'You've got to start that grill before the twins come home, Luke doesn't like his fish cold…, and Leia is bringing a guest.' "_Why, I ought to…Oooh! She makes me so _'effing' _mad!..."

"You have everything you need?"

He screams.

"Aaaahh! Oh, hi, Honey. I didn't see you there. You gave me a fright. Yes, I'm ok. Everything's all fired up. Thanks."

"Okay. I'll be upstairs if you need me."

"I'll be grilling fish and veggies. Don't you worry your pretty little head!" He mutters to himself again as soon as she leaves the patio. "Why the _'eff' _do we need all this seafood! The _'effing' _Imperial Army coming for dinner? My life sucks! I'm going to 'effing choke the living daylights out of somebody tonight, I can feel it."

_To be continued… 'Sith on the Barbee' 'Mara Goes to Charm School' _

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_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this heart wrenching story of rebirth and forgiveness.**_

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	113. Chapter 113 Sith on the Barbi

_Chapter 113 _

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'_Sith on the Barbi'_

'_Mara Goes to Charm School' _

'_Packing for a Mission?'_

'_MIA'_

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While Anakin grumbles over the new state-of-the-art grill, the family is coming home. Luke heads upstairs to take a shower. Obi-Wan has followed Luke in his speeder. He has a companion.

Anakin sees people trailing through his home as he labors over the grill. No one told him it was _'friends and family'_ night. He has just had his peaceful afternoon ruined in his sanctuary. His afternoon of pod racing ends with a cocky pit officer ruining his day by cheating at pod racing. He accidentally confesses the details of the game and the choking incident to his wife. He doesn't know what it is about her but he feels compelled to reveal every detail about his exploits. He's the man of the house and this non-threatening, slightly pregnant, but sexy siren of a wife is turning him into a broken man.

He needs to talk to someone. Good. Obi-Wan will be at dinner. He has a lot on his chest to tell his old friend. He wants to tell him how Isabel is stirring up trouble by calling Lando's wife. Why ruin the woman's clueless undying devotion to her husband? She was happing not knowing what Lando did in his free time or in the privacy of his den. Now Lando's wife will turn into a nag and then limit his free time to bond with his friend then Boba will get scared off. Why would he, he has no love life? He has to stop Isabel before she starts her meddling and destroys everything he holds dear.

Li-An wakes up and hears Luke walking to his room. The tot hurries down the hall. Alex wakes ups shortly after and follows him. Luke is changing into a robe to take a shower. He is checking himself in the mirror. He touches his face as if looking for something.

"Hi, Luke!"

"Hi Yuke."

"Oh, Hello. What are you two up to?"

"Nusing yet. Can we jump on your bed?"

"I'm going into the shower. I might get in trouble. You guys require supervision."

"I'm going to be a Jedi! I won't tell."

"Oh, okay, Li, I leave you in charge. Come on in, buddy."

"Yeaa!"

Skippy sits in the middle of the room.

As Luke disappears into the shower, the two little Skywalkers use the bed as a trampoline. Luke hears a thump as he removes his robe and steps under the spray.

"What's going on out there? You two alright?"

"Yes!"

Threepio is retrieving voice messages for Isabel. He looks up at the ceiling. "Something is going on up there." He tells Artoo. The little droid agrees and heads for the ramp leading to the floor above. Threepio stops what he is doing and follows Artoo upstairs. He walks inside Luke's room after hearing several crashes and a thud from downstairs. He thinks he hears Youngling laughter. He pokes his head inside the door. Skippy leaves the room as quickly as possible. He's not hanging around to be blamed for the mayhem. Threepio calls Luke.

"Master Luke, is that you?" He enters the room then throws his arms in the air. "Oh, goodness gracious me! Master Li and Master Alex, you stop this at once!"

"No! I'm in charge!"

"Says who?"

"Luke."

Alex repeats.

"Yuke."

Threepio has had enough of this.

"Now you listen to me! Your father is going to be very unhappy when he finds out….you'll get a spanking for sure." Anakin has never spanked his children. The droid already is aware of this and whispers to Artoo. "The little monsters. A good spanking is what you need. Luke will be angry when he sees the mess you've made."

The tots continue to jump on the bed ignoring him.

"He said we could play."

"Humph! Well! Your mother is heading upstairs this very moment. She heard the loud thump from downstairs. Your father may not spank you…"

Silence. Both children immediately stop jumping. Their tiny mouths hang open as if the droid has just announced the arrival of the Jedi pediatrician on a sudden house call….or even worse…the announcement of the end of Befana Eve. That would be unbearable….no toys, no tasty gingerbread men, no tree…no treat-filled stockings…no toys.

Suddenly four tiny Jedi Sprinter shoes are located and put back on their feet. Alex follows Li-An as they creep towards the bedroom door. The hang back until the coast is clear. Threepio scolds them.

"Just where do you think you're going? You're in big trouble. Get back here!"

"We're going to the playroom."

"Look at the mess they've made. Oh, my. They've broken Master Luke's holograph frame. It's the one with Miss Mara. Oh, Dear! Look what you've done."

"No we didn't"

"Yes you did. Shame on you, Master Li-An. Telling a fib." He wags an accusing finger at him. "You're in big trouble young man. You're leading your little brother down the path of doom."

"Am not!"

"You're going to fall down a scary pit with snakes and all sorts of creepy crawly things. The dark phantom will get you and eat you."

The children disappear down the hall.

Artoo looks around the room to access the damage. The bedding is a crumpled mess.

Li-An hurries down the hall. Someone is standing in their path. Li-An looks up and starts sobbing.

"What is it, Sweetie?"

"Maamee, hold me. I fell." He rubs the imaginary wound on his knee.

"You did? Oh, Honey."

Alex cries too. "Mama"

"Both of you? Oh, Dear. Come on. Let me put some ice on it. She takes them downstairs to the guest washroom and puts an Ewok bandage on their knees. She gives them each an ice pop and makes then sit on the sofa on the far side of the patio from Anakin. He knows they have been up to mischief, so had Isabel but she is in no mood to deal with this right now; besides, this is Luke's fault.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Luke leaves the shower and looks at his room.

"What the…Alex…Li-An!"

Leia arrives home and makes a stop on the patio to greet her father. She sees Obi-Wan and he little brothers seated on the patio sofa eating their ice pops. She grins.

"Hey, you two! Have you been good today?"

They both nod 'Yes.'

Anakin turns to look at them and smiles. His two little demons with their imaginary scraped knees. Leia smiles at her father.

"We were never this much trouble when we were their age, were we?"

"You two gave me other problems. What do you want?"

"I just wanted to say 'Hello.' See you in a bit, Daddy." She kisses him. "Hello, Uncle Ben."

"Hello, Dear, Leia. How is the new job?"

"I love it. It's great. So, who else is coming to dinner?"

Anakin interjects.

"I don't know, your mother won't tell me."

Obi-Wan smiles.

"I brought a guest this evening. She's powering her nose."

"Ooooh, I see. Well, I'm going to take a shower. See you later. Dad, when are you going to put the food on the grill?"

"Don't bother me."

Leia smiles and goes inside. She stops at Luke's room and stands in the doorway. She sees the destruction.

"What happened here?"

"Li and Alex." Luke picks up fallen items.

"Oh, Luke, the frame to Mara's holograph…it's broken."

"It's ok. I'll buy another one. Everything else is fine."

"This is what happens when you leave two toddlers alone in your room."

"I know, I know." He picks up the last of the fallen items. He is still wrapped in a towel. Leia shakes her head in disbelief.

"Hurry up and get dressed. Dad's going to start grilling the fish and he's not the most patient man. Besides, he's not in a good mood. Fish are going to fly."

"Whatever happened to those meditation classes he was taking?"

"He's not taking any meditation classes with a bunch of hippies. Get real. Hurry up."

"I'll be down in a few minutes." He straightens up his bed.

Leia turns and leaves the room.

Obi-Wan is still on the patio watching Anakin grill the vegetables.

"Anakin, why are you in such a state?"

Anakin confides in his friend.

"Obi-Wan, does my wife boss me around?"

"Is that what you're worried about?"

"She's like the Coruscant Police or the Imperial guard…always riding my ass."

"She loves you."

"Yeah, I know." He turns to see if the two tots are still sitting on the far side of the patio. They are. "Okay, felons, go back inside."

"Maamee told us to stay."

"Get inside."

Li-An and Alex leave the sofa and go inside the house. Anakin waits until they are all the way inside. He turns to Obi-Wan. Do you know the _'effing sith'_ that's been happening to me today?"

"Anakin, something is always happening to you. You lost money during pod racing?"

"Yeah! How did you know?"

"Isabel told me. She thought it was funny."

"Really? Well, she's in for a rude awakening. That could have been her shoe money."

"Oh, Anakin, don't be silly."

"I'm just kidding. Did she tell you she beaned me in the head with a book?"

"Learn anything?"

"It was a fashion magazine. What can I learn from that? The witch…"

As they are talking, someone walks out onto the patio to join them.

"Hey, Anakin, Sugar, how are you, sweetheart?"

Anakin is surprised but he has not decided it if should be a _'happy' _surprise or an, _'Oh, no, not you again' _surprise.

"Oh, hi, Bunny. Haven't seen you for awhile."

"Miss me?"

"Actually…yes…Yes, I have. Good to see you."

She plants a lipstick red kiss on his left cheek.

"Where's my other handsome sweetheart?"

"Oh, Luke? He's taking a shower. He'll be down."

"He must be chasing the girls away. I bet he has a hot little bod now. I remember showering with him when he was slightly older than Li-An…"

Anakin almost drops the spatula.

"You what?"

"Relax, Sugar, I was wearing my red lace nightie. But I could tell he was going to turn into a hot little stud back then."

"Do you mind not talking about bathing…?"

"Showering"

"_Showering…_with my son…it's creeping me out."

Obi-Wan explains.

"Oh, Anakin, I told you about that. Luke had a little accident and Bunny took him into the shower. It was all very innocent."

"I bet. You might be seeing my attorney."

"Anakin, he was three."

"No wonder my kids are so messed up."

The vegetables are still on the grill. Anakin is still holding onto the spatula. He stares at Obi-Wan and 'Mrs. Aunt Bunny Robinson' cradle robber. Obi-Wan points to the grill.

"You need to flip those vegetables."

"Humph." He flips the grilling vegetables with one hard turn on the grill. He continues to stare at the negligent godfather and his Game Pod-giving lap dancing, showering-with babies, girlfriend. To make this moment worst, Luke walks through the door and steps out onto the patio. He opens his arms. Aunt Bunny sashays over to him in her high heels. She still looks good for her age.

"Hey! Aunt Bunny, I was just thinking about you! Are you staying for dinner?"

"Yes I am."

"You look great."

"So do you! Oh, my. What a hug! Luke, you are so strong. You still have that cute little bum like I remember." She squeezes his butt. "That little girlfriend of yours must go crazy over you."

"She likes it."

Anakin starts coughing violently. He is ignored.

"Look at you…so sexy and cute!"

Anakin wants this chat to end right now.

"Hey, Luke, do you remember wetting the bed when you were at Obi-Wan's?"

"Dad! I was just a kid. Why did you have to bring that up?"

"I heard you took a shower with your _'Aunt'_."

"Oh, yeah, I remember that. She was cleaning me. They even took me to the mall and bought me extra underwear. I remember those Mos the Krayt Dragon pants. They were cool. I wonder whatever happened to them. Oh! and they took me on the kiddie ride at the toy store. That was a cool day. Hey Dad, you need to take those veggies off the grill."

Anakin is at the boiling point. He angrily flips the veggies onto a hot platter.

Obi-Wan raises his glass.

"Happy Days."

"Those were 'Not' happy days, _Potsie_."

"So, Anakin, who else is coming?"

"Freeloaders, has-beens, pain-in-the-ass relatives, and half-naked girlfriends."

"This should be a lovely evening then."

The doorbell rings several times. The two younger Skywalker siblings are tormenting Threepio so Isabel answers the door.

"Well, Hello, Han…so good to see you. It's been awhile."

"Hello, Mrs. 'S' How are you? Oh, these are for you."

"Oh, thank you, Han. They're beautiful. She gives him a peck on the cheek. Leia will be down in a minute. Everyone is out on the patio. Go out and say, 'hello."

"Yeah, I will. I have something for the head of the house."

The table is set. Bunny sets three serving bowls of aromatic Okikuti rice on the table as Isabel brings in platters of soft flatbread. Han greets everyone on the Patio. He walks over to the grill and presents Anakin with four bottles of champagne.

"Good evening, how are you?"

"I'm doing just dandy, Solo. What's this?"

"It's a gift for the host."

"Oh, me? Thanks. Nice stuff. There's a large cooler in the pantry. You can put the bottles on ice. "

As Han puts the champagne on ice, the doorbell rings again. Isabel gets the door. Anakin senses a smoked aged ham at the door.

"Oh, Hello."

"Isabel! My dear, how are you? Why are you on your feet answering the door?"

"Because no one else wanted to get it."

"These flowers are for you, my dear." He tries to kiss her on the cheek. She takes the flowers and places them on the table in the foyer."

"Where are the little ones?"

"Leia's on her way down and Luke is out on the patio."

"Ooooh!" He waves his hand dismissively. "I'm not talking about those spoiled disrespectful hellions! Where are the babies?"

"They're on a murder spree."

"Oh, Isabel, what a sense of humor you have."

"Why don't you join everyone outside on the patio?"

"I will."

Leia comes downstairs just as Palpatine walks outside. She sneaks around the back and calls Luke who is in the kitchen.

"Luke!"

"What?"

"Is the creature here?"

"Yes. I heard him out on the patio."

"Crap!" She looks at her brother. Bunny walks in. Leia examines Luke's face. "Luke…you've got peach fuzz on your face…you better come upstairs and let me wax it for you."

"It's…it's not peach fuzz. Stop! Leia, cut it out!" He shoves her hand away.

"Oh, yes it is…" She touches his face again."

Bunny walks over to Luke.

"Luke, Honey, are you trying to grow a little facial hair?"

Luke gives Leia a dirty look for bringing it up. He rolls his eyes and wishes this would all go away.

"It's not a big deal. Really."

"Well, give it time, sweetie. Your hair is so fine and you're so fair…it may take several years before you can get a good amount started. Anyway, Aunt Bunny likes your sweet little face without it."

"Thanks…I think."

"Come on kid's. Dinner is ready. Your Daddy doesn't want the food to go cold."

The bell rings.

"I guess."

"I'll get the door. You kids go downstairs to the table."

Bunny leaves. Leia stands in the room with Luke grinning. Luke wants to belt her one.

"Shut up, Leia."

"I'm sorry, Luke."

"You're evil!"

"Oh stop crying. You heard her. She's an expert. It could take years for that peach fuzz to turn into something."

They head downstairs. Luke is about to take his place at the table when he hears girlish laughter. He is now officially embarrassed. Bunny walks out onto the patio with Mara. Mara smiles at Luke. She sits beside him and touches his face. She whispers to him.

"How are you doing, _'Fuzzy Wuzzy'_?"

"Shut up you evil red menace."

"You look cute."

With dinner ready, everyone is seated. The bell rings once more. Bunny answers the door.

"Well, come one in! Leia, honey, you have two gentlemen callers this evening! Aren't you the popular girl in school! He's a sweetheart. Isabel, this young man left you the loveliest bouquet of Felucia Freesia and roses and lilies. Nelson, sweetheart, you just sit right here and then you and Han can both chat with Leia."

Leia wants to melt in her chair. Luke looks across the table at her and mugs a face. Obi-Wan laughs. Palpatine snubs him.

"Obi-Wan, cocktail hour is over. Can't you be sober at the dinner table?"

"Oh, be quiet, old man! I get invited here more than you."

Han looks at Leia, as he was not aware that Nelson was joining them for dinner. The kiss-up former classmate and nemesis has the nerve to give Isabel her favorite flowers, the same flowers she carried on her wedding day.

Isabel goes into the dayroom to see what condition Threepio is in after his tussle with the tots. She is shocked to see all three sitting on the floor with Skippy resting nearby. Threepio has been reading to them.

"Well, it looks like your mother is here to take you to dinner. Thank the maker! Little devils!"

She summons her little darlings to the dinner table. Alex sits in a highchair beside Anakin and Li-An is at the opposite end in his booster seat sitting next to his mother. Separation prevents chaos.

Nelson is eager to eat since he has been eating light all day waiting for this moment to break bread with the Skywalkers.

"Wow, this looks great. It smells good too."

Obi-Wan speaks. "Thank the chef. Everyone, a toast to the chef."

Everyone raises his or her glasses to Anakin. Li-An drinks his milk in a martini glass. Isabel did not want to hear him complain about having a baby cup. He toasts with Luke and Mara. He does this throughout dinner. He wants to toast glasses with Nelson across the table. Nelson leans over to clink glasses with the youngster. Isabel wants to take the martini glass from him but she knows it would cause an outcry. Alex is behaving himself and eating pieces of fish from his tray. He takes some of the fish and feeds Obi-Wan. Palpatine is seated on Anakin's right. He looks across the table at Obi-Wan.

"Why don't you let me hold Alex?"

"He's not used to you."

"Well he would if you let me hold him."

Anakin reluctantly hands Alex to Palpatine. Alex stares at the old man. Anakin is waiting for Alex to burst into tears, instead, Alex laughs.

Dinner is going well and everyone is chatting and being friendly.

Han is on his third glass of champagne as he listens to Leia and Nelson reminisce about their childhood and school. Bunny listens to them tell their stories.

"Nelson and I used to torment one another. He used to throw my books on the floor and I used to beat the crap out of him."

"I learned my lesson."

Han utters a comment

"Apparently not."

Anakin watches the three. Another showdown. He can't wait for the sparks to fly. If the evening turns out right, heads will roll tonight.

Bunny watches Luke and Mara. She whispers to Obi-Wan that they are an 'adorable' couple. When Luke leans over to toast glasses with Li-An for what seems like the tenth time, Bunny starts a conversation with the fiery redhead.

"Mara, sweetie, is that your natural color?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Just asking."

'Why?"

"I do make-up and hair for girls who are going out on a date or getting married…you know…stuff like that…I also shoe them how to be charming."

"I don't need to be charming. Luke likes me just the way I am."

"Mara, honey, I can turn you into a princess. You should come to my workshop."

Mara turns to Luke. He pokes him hard on the arm.

"Hey, Blondie, do you think I need charm school?"

Han overhears and nods his head _'No.'_ He tries to get Luke to answer carefully.

"Uhmm…well…you can be a bit rough around the edges, Mar…."

"Oooh, the truth comes out. Gee thanks, Luke." Mara gets up from the table and runs inside the house.. Isabel looks around.

"What's going on?"

"Palpatine chimes in. "The little vamp got the best advice she's all year."

Luke stares at the old man. "Who asked you?" He follows Mara inside. "Mar…come on, don't get mad."

He follows her into the kitchen. She is tearing some plastic wrap from the electronic dispenser and starts packing some food.

"Get away from me, Luke. I'm in no mood. You've ruined my appetite. Pass me those leftover veggies."

"Well you're packing it away as if you're going on a hiking trip."

"I get hungry late at night."

"Will you talk to me instead of squirreling away food?"

"Got a storage container for the rice?"

He grabs a container from the cupboard.

"Mara, be reasonable. Aunt Bunny meant well. She likes you."

"Aren't you a little too old to still call her your 'Aunt Bunny'? It's not as if she's really related to you, you know."

"She's been good to me. She's like a crazy relative. I like her."

Meanwhile, back outside on the patio, Aunt Bunny zeros in on Palpatine.

"Hey, Pappy, Hon, burgundy is not your color. You're too pale for all though bright colours."

"I beg your pardon?" He is not certain whether to be insulted.

"I think you would look a lot better in blues…to bring out the blue in your gorgeous eyes."

Anakin is waiting for Aunt Bunny to get hand-choked by the old coot. Damn! That would have been fun! _Sith_! Someone had better start choking somebody.

Suddenly Palpatine shows some interest in what she is saying. He smiles and gushes when she compliments his eyes. Alex is tugging at the old man's ascot. It is tightening around Palpatine's neck. He gags for a moment. No one helps him. Anakin sits back in his chair smiling at the scene. He hides his fist under the table as if to urge the baby on. _"Good, Alex. Pull harder."_ Finally, he takes the baby from the old pasty-faced coot.

"Come on, Alex, that's enough. What's gotten into you?"

Bunny gets up from her seat and walks around the table to hand the old man a glass of water.

"Sugar, are you okay?"

"Acckkkkk…I'm…I'll be fine. Thank you."

"That little Alex is so precious. He loves his gramps."

"Yes, I'm sure." He accepts the water as he rubs his throat. Bunny continues her sales pitch.

"You need to come to my salon; I can fix you up good."

"Really? Well, that's very kind of you."

"You stick with Aunt Bunny, Honey; you'll look amazing when I'm done with you."

"Well, thank you. Just for your kindness, why don't you come to see my play? It's a new production, 'Old Yeller'

Han starts giggling.

"Are you the lead?"

"Yes, of course I am…What's so funny? Well, they'll be no complimentary passes for you! Leia, why don't you bring your nice young man to the show?"

Nelson looks down the table at the old man. "Oh, wow, I've never been to a Galaxies Shady Acres Playhouse production."

Leia gently pats him on the shoulder.

"Calm down there, Nelson. It's not the Galaxy Theatre District. It's the retirement home community theatre."

"Oooh, I see. But it must be cool to have an actor in the family."

"Trust me; you'd be bored to tears."

"My Philosophy professor said to always keep an open mind."

Han decides to join in the conversation.

"Go! Tell us how you like it." He grins at Leia.

Leia gives Han a dirty look

"Second thought…you know, you're right, Nelson. We can go this weekend. I should take his performances more seriously."

Han's mouth drops open. He is not happy. This is now what was supposed to happen.

"Leia…you know…I can go with you. Nelson doesn't need you to explain what a Playbill is."

Nelson, in a most genuinely polite tone, responds.

"Oh, I know what a Playbill is, I just never been to a show."

Leia squints at Han.

"Han, you're traveling to that carpet convention on Kashyyyk this weekend. You won't have time. I'd be glad to let Nelson be my escort to the show." She bats her eyes and smiles sweetly at Han. He smiles back but it is not a 'sweet' smile.

Nelson and Anakin are the only cheerful people at the table. Bunny walks off with Palpatine on her arm to explain her men's skincare line to him. Isabel has taken Li-An into the washroom. Obi-Wan is sleeping in his seat. Leia takes Nelson inside after taking Alex from her father.

Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Han are left at the table. Han nudges Obi-Wan to wake up then he speaks to Han.

"Hey, Solo, why so glum?" He is not at all sincere.

"Your daughter is a piece of work, you know that?"

"Why do you say that? Is something wrong?"

"She's taking her school chum to the play this weekend."

"You don't say?" Anakin has a glass of champagne in his hand. He is a bit tipsy. Obi-Wan is alert now. He smiles at Anakin.

"Hey, Ani…you're drunk."

"I am not drunk. I can hold my liquor, Obi-some…Obi-dobeedo…hahhaaaa! I made a rhyme with your name!" Anakin laughs out loud. He sighs blissfully. "What's up, dudes?"

Han looks at Anakin.

"You know, what, Mr. Skywalker, I believe you may have had a bit too much of the bubbly."

"Don't tell me what I had too much of, oh So-lo mi-o! You don't have a date this weekend, do you?"

Back in the kitchen, Isabel releases Li-An to run off his excess energy. Alex is soon close behind. Mara is still packing her provisions. Isabel is amused. She doesn't care that Mara is raiding her refrigerator. She is glad someone is taking home leftovers. Mara is still angry. Luke throws his hands up in the air.

"Ok, I'm done here."

Mara puts her food in a gourmet shopping bag then looks across the counter at Isabel.

"Mrs. Skywalker, do I need refinement?"

"Uhmm… what did I just walk into?"

"Luke says I could be a proper lady if I went to charm school."

"I'm sure that's not what he meant."

"Oh, yes it was. He was nice about it though. Humph…I can't help I was brought up like trailer trash."

"Oh, Mara! Sweetie, where did that come from?" She gives Mara a comforting hug.

"Luke wants me to be more like you. You're smart, beautiful, you know just the right things to say to people so they don't want to kill you every time you speak."

Isabel laughs.

"Mara, my husband always gets pissed off when I speak."

"That's because he's like arguing with you because you're so glamorous and you're always right when you scold him. I see the two of you. He adores you. He would be lost without you. I think Luke wants to break up with me." She continues to put a few more things in the bag and cries. Isabel pats her on the back.

"That's nonsense. Luke is crazy about you."

"But sometimes I feel insecure …I want to be elegant and know which fork to use at dinner…Luke has learned all this from you. I want to be able to speak to people without them being afraid of me. Would you help me?"

"No. I can't help you."

"No? Why not?"

"I know the perfect person to teach you how to walk and talk and all those other ridiculous things you think I do so well."

"Who?"

"My mother. She would be thrilled to get you as her next protégé."

"Really?"

"Really. Now stop crying. If you're set on leaving, I'll try to find someone who's not drunk to drive you home."

Outside on the patio, Anakin wipes his hands together. A chair is overturned. He looks over at Obi-Wan.

"Okay, Obi-Wanna drink; let's go round up the missus and the rest of the folks."

"Anakin, you are plastered, my friend."

He points to the ground.

"Oh, please…just because I lost my temper just a tiny bit?" He mocks the person who is not '_standing' _with them._ 'Mr. Skywalker, I think you need to lay off the bubbly.' _"He gave it to me. He can't tell me what to do with a gift! Let him think about what he's said. Come on, Obi-Baby, let's go inside.

"Well…Anakin…it's getting a bit chilly out here."

"The fresh air will do him good."

Anakin and Obi-Wan enter the house. He is happy. "Hey! What's for dessert?"

Mara turns to Isabel. "There's dessert? I didn't pack dessert."

Isabel smiles. "Are you staying a little longer? I can call you a taxi. Luke is in the room with Leia and Nelson drinking pera martinis. We're having chocolate torte with apricot filling and ganache.

"Uhmm! With the silky chocolate coating on top and whipped cream?"

"Yes."

"I'll stay. Can I have a couple slices to take with me?"

'Of course. We'll eat inside. I'll get the plates."

In the dayroom, Threepio is back reading to the tots.

"'Goldilocks and the Three Ewoks', another ridiculous children's story with no redeeming values. Alright, you little demons, listen up. It's your bedtime in half an hour. One story and that's it.

Li-An yawns. " Okay…just weed!"

"That's _'Read'. _Learn how to pronounce your '_R's'_."

Bunny and Palpatine join the rest of the family and guests on the big sofa and get comfortable. Luke sits with Mara. Here shopping bag is next to the sofa. There is hot Jawa, and cake on the oval table. Isabel counts the plates. She looks around.

"Someone is missing. …where is Han?"

Anakin stuffs a forkful of cake in his mouth.

"Uhmm-num."

Back outside on the patio, Skippy trots by, and sniffs around. He stops and licks the face of the corpse on the terracotta ground.

_To be continued… 'Charming Me' 'Nursery Makeover'_

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_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this heart wrenching story of rebirth and forgiveness.**_

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	114. Chapter 114 Nursery Makeover

_Chapter 114 _

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'_Nursery Makeover'_

'_Mara Goes to Charm School' _

'_Super Duper Trooper Compensation'_

'_Beating the Assets Out of Palpatine'_

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A few months have passed since the family barbecue. Since this time, much has happened inside the Skywalker home and away.

Luke and Mara reconcile after he explains to her that she is not _'trailer trash'_ because she was not raised in a trailer park. Her response:_ 'Oh wow! I feel so much better now. Can we go out to dinner tonight? I'm starving. You're paying, right?' _The temporary stigma has faded. Her father on the other hand had a road paving business and some questionable associates who sell large appliances below wholesale but that's a different area altogether. Even still, Mara is insecure. She wants to learn how to be poised and elegant like Isabel or at least be able to talk to people without scaring the begezzers out of them. Luke agrees with her that her social skills could use a bit of fine-tuning.

Leia and Nelson go to see Palpatine perform that weekend as planned. Nelson is excited to see his first show. The experience is marred when a disgruntled audience member stands and tries to shoot Palpatine onstage. All the other actors are shocked. As the he young gunman aims his blaster towards the stage, Palpatine stares down at him.

"Put that thing down! Don't you realize there are guards all around you? You fool! What are you going to do, kill all of the performers on this stage?"

"No, just you."

Palpatine squints through the glaring stage lights to get a better look at his would-be assassin.

"Who are you?"

"Hello, my name is Viscount Su-Dooku., you killed my uncle, prepare to die."

"Actually I didn't kill him…I ordered him killed."

"Shut up! My name is Viscount Su-Dooku, you ordered my uncle's death…prepare to die."

Palpatine looks at the guards standing around in the theatre.

"Guard? Kill this man! What are you waiting for?"

"He does have the higher ground."

"Nonsense…I'm the one on stage!"

Someone sitting in the back of the theatre shouts.

"His acting sucks! Shoot him, if for no other reason!"

Palpatine is furious. He cannot see who is yelling this directive and the guards have not yet drawn their weapons. Leia is in shock but she is also amused. Nelson thinks it is part of the performance where actors are strategically placed in the audience for effect.

"Wow, Leia, this is a great play!"

"It might turn out better than I thought. This is a different ending than in the book."

Lorian Nod is the 'mystery heckler' in the back of the theatre. He and Palpatine had a falling out some time ago prior to his theatre career. Lorian Palpatine took credit for the soufflé Lorian nursing home made at the senior workshop course they were taking. Palpatine claimed the prize of the 'Sith-Star' Cutlery set. Lorian has never forgiven the former emperor and so-called friend. Therefore, this near assassination attempt turns out to be a fortuitous moment of revenge for Lorian and just desserts for the fledgling thespian he now despises.

"Young man, have you ever used a blaster before? It's a point and shoot. Let's get on with it. Shoot the old bastard!"

Another, more calming voice speaks to the newbie would-be assassin. It is Obi-Wan Kenobi. He calmly walks over to the young man.

"Hand me the weapon, young man. It's not worth it."

Palpatine breathes a sigh of relief and lowers his hands.

"Thank you, Master Kenobi. Leave it to a Jedi to save the evening. Give him a hand everyone."

The audience applauds. Lorian Nod groans in disappointment.

Obi-Wan speaks without looking up at Palpatine. He looks at the young man. The Jedi Master feels pity for him.

"Hand me the weapon."

"Okay." Just as he is about to surrender his weapon, he reconsiders and aims the blaster at Palpatine again. Some of the theatergoers shriek while other gasp as the blaster goes off and Palpatine collapses.

Su-Dooku drops the weapon, turns and walks up the aisle pass the security team. He does not make eye contact with anyone. As he heads for the door, Lorian Nod shouts.

"Good shot, my boy but would it have killed you to aim a little closer to his forehead?"

The audience and security team give Su-Dooku a standing ovation. Palpatine is still passed out on the stage. The rest of the cast is already backstage. Leia is looking onstage. Nelson is cheering and blowing finger whistles as he faces the back of the theatre with the rest of the audience.

"Cool! Leia, thanks for inviting me. This is the first and best performance I have ever seen. I didn't know your godfather Obi-Wan Kenobi was in the show. He was phenomenal. He was even better than your grandfather was. The guy who played the assassin was so intense. Great show! I'm telling my parents to come see it."

"Well, Nelson, performances may change from night to night."

"That's what makes it so fascinating. It's never predictable."

Meanwhile Obi-Wan steps up on stage to check on Palpatine. The old Sith has been shot but the blaster shot grazes his temple. The theatre manager calls for an ambulance. The paramedics arrive an hour later. Word is out on the street that the former Emperor was shot. There is pandemonium in the streets. The news media camps outside the theatre. The front page of the 'Coruscant Daily Planet' reports him dead by a team of assassins. As Su-Dooku whisks pass, the onlookers try to make out his identity but it is too dark down the side street where he disappears. One passerby asks, "Who was that man?" A pretty blonde waitress, just getting off-duty at Dexter's Diner answers in a soft voice, "He's a friend to us all."

The show is an instant hit. More actors are hired to play the roles of Obi-Wan, Viscount Su-Dooku, and Lorian Nod. Palpatine demands that security check the fake stage blaster for real ammunition before each performance.

Han recovered shortly after being discovered on the patio by Artoo, Skippy, and Aunt Bunny. Isabel insisted he stay the night in one of the guestrooms. Anakin was not pleased. Aunt Bunny was the only sober guest and offered to drive Palpatine back to his retirement condo. She returns to retrieve Obi-Wan but Isabel invites her to stay because Obi-Wan was already asleep in another guestroom. Anakin sulked in his study complaining his wife was turning the place into a Motel Sith by inviting everyone to stay over at the house. When the house was quiet, Anakin had his evening chat with Qui-Gon.

'_Well, Ani, she did put the food-hoarding 'Red Menace Barbie' in a taxi. And that sumptuous lap dancing cosmetologist girlfriend of Obi-Wan's was nice enough to drive 'Grandpa Munster' back to Shifty Acres.'_

"It's 'Shady Acres.' My wife is so good. She takes care of everyone. She puts the babies to bed on time…She's amazing. I don't know where she gets the energy. Then she puts up with me."

'_I know.'_

"Hey!"

'_So, Ani, why did you have to lose it and choke Han Solo for?'_

"I don't know…I guess he was bugging me."

'_Bugging you? He always bugs you! He was trying to keep you from passing out drunk!'_

"But he passed out first! Haa!"

'_It's useless to talk to you like this. Ani, why don't you go to sleep now? You're going to have a big hangover in the morning.'_

"You're right. Good night, Master."

'_Goodnight, Ani.'_

Anakin has to tolerate the crew of painters traipsing through his house to work on the new nursery. The designer, hired by Isabel and recommended by her mother is also a thorn in his side. He is turning a simple room renovation into a state project. Anakin is urged to sit in on one of the meetings. He is ready to choke the decorator. He tells Anakin that the room must have the perfect balance and _'Fung Shui this'_ and _'Calming that.' 'The room needs to be harmonious to communicate with the Jedi gods.'_ It's a room for a baby! Geez! What's she going to know if the shade of pink is too light or the wrong flower pattern will affect her perception of the galaxy? All she's going to care about is who's going to change her and when her mother's going to feed her! Harmony? If she wants harmony, she can take piano lessons!

Mara visits Ouisanne Nor who introduces her to her etiquette coach Professor Henry Higgins. Ouisanne and one of her friends from the Bimmisari Tea Society sit and watch 'Lesson One'.

"Ladies, she's perfect. I have my work cut out for me. She's so deliciously low. So horribly dirty."

"Who are you calling dirty you creep?" She slugs the man in the head.

Ouisanne's bridge partner and co-conspirator in everything beautiful, lets out a gasp as Mara almost knocks the professor off his feet.

"Oh, Professor, are you alright?"

Professor Higgins rubs his head then gathers his wits.

"Well! I never!"

Ouisanne pleads with the esteemed expert in etiquette and elocution. She takes him aside and whispers.

'Oh, please professor, you're our only hope. No one else would take her."

The professor takes out a hand-embroidered handkerchief, pats his brow, then turns towards Ouisanne's 'diamond in the rough'

"Mrs. Nor. What I was about to say was, I never have had a candidate so full of spirit and so full of possibilities…"

"Are you saying you'll accept her as your pupil?"

"I would be please to take her on as a favor to you, Milady."

"Oh, thank you, Professor Higgins. Thank you. I know you'll turn her into a proper young lady."

"I promise you, I will." As he says this, he turns towards Mara. In a firm, but charming manner, he speaks to her. She is ready to swing he fist again. "…and as for you, Miss Jade, if you ever pull a cheap stunt like that you will woefully regret it. Now lower your fists. This isn't the Intergalactic Wrestling Federation. Stand up straight and behave. If you ever hope you become the lady that these esteemed women believe you can be, I would advise you to button your pretty little lips, listen and do as I say. Is that understood? Are you deaf, child? Answer when I ask you a question!"

"Yes, Sir…Professor."

"Now that's better. I will see you tomorrow before your Jedi training class, of which I personally think you're wasting each other's time. Mrs. Banks, Mrs. Nor…it's always a pleasure, ladies. I am honored you have put your charge under my capable tutelage." He kisses the two women on the hand. Mara rolls her eyes. This has not gone unnoticed. The Professor speaks without looking at Mara. "Rolling of one's eyes will do nothing for you but give you a severe headache later, young Miss."

"Yes, Sir. I apologize. Good day, Professor."

As the professor leaves, Mara lets out a long sigh as if she has been holding it in all day.

"This is not going to work, Mrs. Nor."

Ouisanne looks at Mara. She has a serious look on her face.

"Mara, dear, I adore you as if you were one of my own but your antics won't work with me or my friends. If you want this as badly as you say, you will listen to people who know more than you do. Is that understood?"

"Yes, ma'm."

"Good. Now let's go shopping."

The women hail a taxi and head to Rodian Drive.

Across town at the New Galactic Republic Headquarters -

Anakin heads for the office earlier that morning. Gladys is doing some filing when he arrives.

"Good morning, Mr. Skywalker. How are you today?

"I'm just great, Gladys. How are you?" She hurries back to her desk.

"Very well, Sir. How's the family?

"The family is fine."

"How's little Li-An doing in Youngling class?"

"He's great. Master Yoda says he's well ahead of the other children."

"Well, your children are special."

"They are. Alex will be in class with him next year. So, what do you have for me today?"

"Oh, Sir, you have to sign these as soon as you get settled."

He looks at Gladys then looks at the folder containing the papers. Anakin looks at the folder as if it is molten lava.

"Bring them in to me in a few minutes. I'll be on a call. You know me…I can't talk and read and write at the same time. And if I leave them on my desk, that's where they'll stay." He heads towards his office.

"Oh. Alright, Sir."

Anakin goes into his office and closes the door. Gladys knows he is not on a call because she can see his phone light up when he is. She waits her usually three minutes; and like clockwork, she enters his office and places the folder in front of him on his desk. He stares at the folder like Mustafar lava rocks. Gladys opens the folder to the first document. It's as if she is showing him carpet swatches. He thinks about that annoying little designer working on the nursery. He is getting a headache…or so he thinks. He decides to play dumb as Gladys holds open the folder.

"What's this?"

"What do you mean, Sir?"

"What's this document for and why must I sign it?"

"It's the 'Thank-you Dinner' for your troops."

"The who?"

"Sir, the stormtroopers, clone troopers, the 501st Legion…" She hands him his document-signing stylus.

He interrupts and waves his hands in the air dismissively.

"Yeah…yeah…I know, I know." He reads the first few lines of the document. "What this dinner?" He takes the stylus but is still hesitant to sign.

"It's legal, Sir. You decreed it yourself."

"When?"

"It's the dinner you proposed at the staff meeting you had with the Chancellor, Governor Tarkin, and the New Republic Council Transition team."

"Aww, man! Do we have the funds in the budget for this, Gladys?"

"Yes, Sir, I believe we do. And Anakin, stop it. You will not throw a tantrum in the office today."

"Do I have to show up?"

"It would be so nice if you did, Sir." Gladys has a gentle and calming voice, even when she is scolding him. He grumbles a bit the signs on the dotted line near the brightly colored adhesive arrow. Gladys turns to the next document.

"What the_ 'eff'_ is this?"

"That's the salary increase approval for…" He immediately cuts her off.

"The troopers? How much is the increase?"

"It's one hundred percent, Sir."

"What? How do they get one hundred percent? This is insane; you know that, don't you? What did they get before?"

""Nothing."

"So we're giving them 100 percent more? I don't even give my officers 100 percent raises. They get a 15 percent increase but never one hundred! Is that fair?"

"But, Sir, they have worked for the Empire for years without pay or any other compensation."

"Were they happy back then?"

"I'm not certain, Sir…but I'm certain their lives will be a lot easier and fulfilling now that they will be gainfully employed with benefits instead of servants for an Imperialistic bastard SOB like that Palpatine."

Anakin has never heard Gladys swear before in all the years she has worked for him. He is shocked. He almost laughs; then he remembers. That was a terrible time and these men were brainwashed into believing they were following a good and caring leader. He was brainwashed too. He looks back at _'swear like a sailor, _Gladys.' She composes herself. Her sweet smile returns immediately as she looks at him. Anakin's thoughts right now are, 'the woman must be psycho.'

"You're a hero to them, sir. You toppled an evil regime. You liberated them.

"A hero? Really? I like the sound of that." He does indeed.

"Yes, Sir, of course they do. That rousing speech you gave a couple of years ago…"

"Oh… yes. I was good wasn't I? That speech had them out of their seats. So why did it take so long to give them a salary? I didn't realize, Gladys. I'm sorry."

"No one realized. The Emperor's accountant wrote everything in code. We had no idea what the Emperor was doing. The books were hidden in a safe behind that horrid portrait of that horrible creature he adored so much."

"How much do you estimate he had in liquid assets? I froze his accounts. I was certain I had everything seized."

"He had much more, Sir; 500 billion credits in hidden cash and works of art to real-estate, deeds to a few star systems. The funds are in a special account now."

"That wrinkled old rat bastard! Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"It was in a memo to you on your desk. But then you were so busy…"

"That was no excuse. I will make everything right, I promise."

"I know you will, sir."

"Well! Let's get this signed off and put into effect immediately." He signs the second document.

"Oh, Sir, there's one more document you need to sign." She turns to the next document.

"What's this for?"

"Oh, this came yesterday after you left the office. It's the first invoice for the renovations to the new room."

"What?1500 credits for consultation, 200 credits for fabric and wallpaper swatches, and services of a Sallustan Monk to pray and bring harmony and balance to the room…I'm going to kill some people today."

"Oh, Dear. I forgot to bring you your jawa."

"We're way past jawa. It ain't gonna help today, Gladys, I guarantee you."

"Relax, Sir. It was a joke. Your wife called earlier. We had a lovely chat. She told me you sat with the decorator. She wanted to have a bit of fun with you. She says you were so serious that day."

Anakin rubs his eyes and manages a good-humored smile.

"It's a good thing they didn't hire that monk. I refuse to pay for people's services when I don't understand a darned thing they're saying."

"I understand exactly what you mean. Actually the last thing you have here is an application for round the clock limousine service."

"Excuse me? What's this? From whom?" Anakin loves using this phrase because it makes him laugh. It's so proper and haughty. Palpatine speaks this way. On a weekend evening when he would have friends over, it was great fun to get drunk and imitate the old buzzard. Lando, Boba, Obi-Wan, Nakai, and sometimes Han (if the master of the house was in an especially good mood or just had too much to drink to notice).

Gladys responds.

"The former Emperor, Sir He's been calling all morning."

"Has he now? You didn't give him my new number did you?"

"No, of course not, Sir."

"What's he calling you about?"

"This application

"What's he sending you?"

"Just this application and the follow-up letters."

"Well, he must be out of his 'effing' mind."

"He submitted a list justifying the need."

"Oh, I've got to hear this!"

"Well…he states that since he's all the way across town, he needs transportation to see the grandchildren and his beautiful daughter-in-law." Gladys and Anakin share a tongue in cheek smile.

"Right…Isabel can't stand to be in the same room as him. Give me a break! I'm sorry. Please continue, Gladys."

"Oh, yes…he also states that he is active in the senior citizens' 'Meals on Cruisers' campaign to deliver hot meals to the homebound elderly, and if he doesn't get his…" She adjusts her delicately framed glasses as she continues to read. "…if he doesn't get his own 'wheels', he's going to wind up like the pathetic, wrinkled, old senile bastards he is helping….if you truly love him…Plus…" She holds up her index finger.

Anakin is slightly entertained as he sits back in his chair and listens.

"Ha! There's more? How much more is there?"

"Yes. There is more. He has written a laundry list of things here."

"Read on, Gladys. This may be the most entertaining part of my morning yet. Please, have a seat."

"Thank-you, Sir."

Gladys sits in one of the large Gundarkian leather armchairs facing his desk. She reminds Anakin of a saintly grandmother or monarch with her sweet demeanor and white hair that looks as if it were spun into silky locks from the clouds up in heaven. The chair is large so it seems as if she is sitting on a throne reading a speech to her royal subjects.

"Sir, he claims that his increasing popularity as a local celebrity necessitates the use of a round the clock chauffeur. He will need someone to take him to his many engagements and personal appearances._ 'I'm in demand.'_ he says" Gladys looks over the rims of her eyeglasses across the desk at her handsome boss. He is really smiling now. This makes her happy.

"Ha! He's out there! What a funny guy. I'm sorry, please continue, Gladys."

"He insists that it is dangerous out there in the streets, and being at his age and frailty, you wouldn't want him to become a statistic."

"Statistic? Of what? Bad acting? He's going to have to take his chances in the dicey neighborhoods. He had better stay away from Coco Town. He's afraid of the bad element? He's caused more torture and misery than any poor unfortunate thug on the street has. He's got nerve."

"Why in Heaven's name would he be performing in Coco Town?"

"He's not. He's exaggerating to gain sympathy. He had better take the seniors' trolley. It stops by his home every 20 minutes. Besides, he's not getting squat until he answers for those missing funds."

Amen."

"Excellent work, Gladys."

"Well, thank you, Anakin." She stands and leaves the papers on his desk with the exception of the first two, which she takes with her to copy and send on for processing. Anakin is glad he signed off on the salary for the troopers but he knows they will have not a clue what to do with their funds which include retroactive pay from the time Palpatine was 'relieved' of his duties. That's a lot of credits.

Anakin leaves the office early that afternoon after a conference call with a few senators from the Galactic republic about the repatriation of citizens to some of the most devastated star systems due to the past wars. It has taken time to restore the infrastructure and order. He then has a meeting with the chancellor and then heads to the armory in the adjacent building to check on the troops.

After a brief viewing with Admiral Piett, Anakin leaves to go across town to visit a miserable troll.

Anakin pulls up to the driveway and gets out of his speeder. He walks up the path to Shady Condo number 613. He looks around as he taps his foot impatiently waiting for the door to open. Suddenly he hears some shuffling from inside. The door opens.

"Anakin, my boy! What brings you here?"

Anakin steps inside the house pass the old man. Palpatine closes the door and smiles cheerfully.

"Come in, come in please."

"I'm already in, thank you."

"Please, sit down."

Anakin remains standing.

"So, why are you bothering my secretary?"

"She told you that? Why Anakin, I would never…"

Anakin raises his hand for the old man to be quiet.

"You called her at least five times. So what's this nonsense about wanting a limo?"

"Now, Anakin, it's not nonsense. I need it. Give me a reason why I can't have a car."

"You're not that busy or important."

"Yes I am! People ask for me. They throw things onto the stage at the end of my performances."

"What? Rotten fruit?"

"Anakin, I need to travel. They pay me the respect I'm due."

"Uhmmm…speaking of 'pay'…the troopers got a pay raise recently."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes…we found funds."

"Oh, that's good."

"Yes…They never mentioned that you never compensated them during your insane reign of terror…not until the auditor paid us a visit. You would be surprised where we found the money."

"I couldn't guess…a charitable donation...a used starship garage sale?"

"Don't be cute you geriatric Mephistopheles, because you're not."

"Ok, Anakin, take it easy. Don't get yourself all worked up."

Palpatine sees that Anakin is going somewhere with his 'interrogation. As he gazes at the younger man's face, he almost becomes frightened. His voice is flat as he speaks in that moody monotone when something is bothering him. It reminds him of that evening in his office when he discovers Palpatine's duel identity. Anakin circles the old man like a nexu stalking its prey. His blue eyes are glaring. Palpatine is genuinely afraid of him right now. Anakin finally speaks.

"Ever hear of 'Kamino Technology Holdings'…"

"Uhm…"

"How about "Darth Plagueis Cryogenics' or 'Dark Cloak Accounting'? We discovered an account at the Sith Bank of Bakura. Any of these places ring a bell?"

"Oh, that. I got free checking and a toaster. What's wrong with that?"

"The account in question had 65 million credits in it…Shall I go on?"

"No…no…no! I get the point. You found a lot of money. Surely, you don't suspect me! You froze my assets. I am just an old retiree living on a pension."

"Oh, shut up! You're no innocent. Your name is all over the accounts we found so don't lie to me."

"Anakin, son, I was going to tell you but…Luke was graduating, little Li was about to be born…you had a lot on your plate. I meant to come clean."

"Liar! I should choke the living daylights out of you, you miserable old _'sith.'_"

"Anakin, please…"

"No! You listen to me, You had better come clean with anything else you need to tell me, or I'm going to make you regret ever stepping out on stage. I have investigators pouring over you books again to make sure nothing has been missed. Is there anything off the books that I should know about, _'Dad?'_ Anakin says this in a sarcastic tone then continues grilling the old man. "Think carefully, because if they discover as much as 2 centimes tucked away in an off shore accounts that point to you or any of your old associates, I'll inflict you with…"

Palpatine is sweating now. He pulls out the handkerchief from his smoking jacket lapel pocket and wipes his brow.

"No! Anakin, please! …I've been good. Honest."

Anakin thinks for a moment.

"Hmmm…I'm wondering where I should start. What clump of moaning banshee of a rock shall I turn over first? Hey, how's your ex?"

"I wouldn't know. She's fine I suppose."

"Could she be hiding something for you? If she is, I could make this all go away."

Palpatine starts talking so fast his heart starts to pound so fast he almost faints.

"She lives at 1313 Mocking Bird Lane and Cloudy City River Drive. Penthouse number 3."

"Thank you. Nevertheless, it doesn't matter now. I already have a crew over there searching the place and interrogating Miss. Moore. I just wanted to know how quickly you would roll on her. Ain't love grand?"

"You forced my hand. There, you have it all. Can I have a car now? Please? I was almost assassinated a few months ago... or did you forget? I was shot and seriously wounded. I need security."

"That was just a flesh wound. The nurse in triage put a Band-Aid on it and released you. The members of the audience are the real victims. That poor young man has to live with the shame that he didn't carry out his plan to kill you. Besides, The show is a hit. You can be such an ingrate."

"Anakin! I am shocked and hurt that you would look forward to seeing me harmed in any way. I'm too popular to be killed off. Can I please have a car?"

"Fine. I'll get you a car."

"…And a driver."

"Don't push it, old man. You're on your own."

"Anakin, sometimes you can be so twisted and evil."

"Really? Thank you. Listen, I've got to go. Why don't you go visit your ex-girlfriend in jail?"

"You don't want me to enjoy the least bit of joy in my life do you?"

"I have to leave."

"Fine. I have to rehearse my lines. Someone is coming to read the script with me. I need to relax and get into my character."

'Lovely. "

The doorbell rings.

"Oh, there's my little helper now."

"When the door opens, a gnat is going to fly in here."

"Anakin, can't you be pleasant for one moment?"

"That why I have a wife."

Palpatine opens the door. The visitor sees Anakin and becomes nervous. Palpatine puts on his best smile as he says goodbye to Anakin and welcomes the visitor.

"Well, Anakin, thanks for visiting, I would invite you to stay a bit longer but, as you see, I have important company."

"Yeah, I see." He grins as he stares at the visitor. It is a menacing grin. "Hey, Elan, how was prison?"

"You're not going to hurt me are you?"

"No time. Gotta go." He walks to his speeder.

Palpatine is still holding open the door waiting for Elan Sleazabagano to enter.

"Elan, my boy! It's so good to see you again. I'm glad you could make it."

Suddenly, the old man's gaze turns to disgust. Elan's face is pale, his antennae droop, and he is shaking. He looks down at his pants. He has wet himself.

"I'm sorry, Sire, he just scares the _'pith'_ out of me."

Palpatine grabs some newspapers and spreads them out in the doorway before Elan enters. He gingerly pats his former all-purpose assistant on the face then waves his hand to hurry him inside the house.

"Oh get in here! He was just saying 'hello.' Well, welcome back from 'Sting-Sting'. I would hug you but you're a pathetic mess. Go in the washroom and take a quick shower. Make it quick! I've got to rehearse my lines!"

"Alright. I can't stay long. My probation officer says I have to go to the employment off to look for a job. It's part of my rehabilitation as I rejoin life as a free man."

"Oh, who cares about you? Will you please hurry up and take a shower. I'm a busy man…" Suddenly, Palpatine has a brilliant idea. He stops shouting and changes to a sweet nurturing fatherly tone. "Elan, did you say you needed a job?"

"Yeah. I don't like looking for work. It's hard. Interviewers don't like me. Who's going to hire a _hardened _felon like me?"

Palpatine looks at the pathetic, dimwitted, skinny little ex-con.

"My boy, your prayers have been answered. You can tell your probation officer that you will soon be gainfully employed!"

"As long as it's not working for some _'sithhead'_ boss. I'm cool."

He shuffles into the bathroom and closes the door.

_To be continued… 'Charming Me' 'Driving Sith Dantius'_

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_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this heart wrenching story of rebirth and forgiveness.**_

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	115. Chapter 115 Charming Me

_Chapter 115 _

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''_Charming Me' _

'_Driving Sith Dantius'_

'_When You Think Fresh, Think of Sithmark' _

'_Droids Unite!'_

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After only a short time on the job, Palpatine's new chauffeur is ready to return to the big house. The old geezer proves over and over, that he is not a good passenger. Elan Sleazebaggano finds dealing with the former Emperor turned thespian sheer misery. The daily trips to the theatre become a battle between the 'Sith and the Ant'.

"No…no…no! I said turn left, turn left you nitwit! If you turn right we run into traffic. I want to go pass the box office to see the fans waiting on line."

"I am going left."

"Stage left, you fool!"

"But we're not on stage, Sire."

"Don't get smart with me, you rehabilitated crack head. Did you have the air-conditioning checked? I told you to have the air-conditioning checked. I was sweating like a Tatooine bantha herder yesterday."

"I can't drive if you keep yelling at me, Sire."

"You've been in prison; you should be used to getting yelled at."

"You're making me very nervous."

"Oh, hush!" Suddenly Palpatine becomes calm and friendly towards his valet. "So, aren't you glad to get out of the clink? You hang with me, Elan and you'll be going places."

"Well…I was sort of going to my probation officer and ask him if I can reapply for the messenger job at the Galactic Senate."

Palpatine becomes angry again before converting back to the 'fatherly Sith.'

"Pish Posh! You don't want a boring job like that. You're indoors all day. It will be like prison all over again. The best place for you to be in that driver's seat with me…in the back seat that is…Now turn the corner here…that's it. good boy…ooh…There's a line…tourists. I hope those cheap bastard aren't using coupons to get a half-price ticket. Okay, Elan, take me to my private stage door entrance."

"You don't have a private stage door entrance. All the cast and crew enter through that door."

"Oh, be quiet and drive."

When Palpatine arrives, goes to his dressing room to prepare. The producers, Stanley Motss and Abner Kravitz knock and enter. The two men greet him cheerfully. Stanley, the director is a short, slick balding middle-aged man.

"Dantius, baby…it's good to see you."

He greets Palpatine with a big smile and open arms. He grabs hold of his head then kisses the actor on the forehead. Palpatine finds this show business greeting undignified and annoying but he is getting the attention he craves; it's a sacrifice he is willing to make. He takes a facial wipe from the makeup table and glides it across his forehead.

"Well, hello, Stanley, to what do I owe this honor?"

Stanley and the more subdued Abner sit on the outdated orange vinyl sofa near the door. Palpatine knows something is up but he has no idea what. Stanley starts to speak.

"Well, we started thinking. Your performance as 'Burn Sanderson' is splendid. I know you're about to go into rehearsals for a new play soon, but I was thinking we could extend 'Old Yeller' until that time. The box office sales are through the roof!"

The animated producer continues. Hands are flying, his eyes light up while Abner sits quietly in agreement.

"What we want to do is keep the _'killing you at the end' _theme going. Everyone loves it. It's a great plot twist. The dog gets to live. Everyone loves dogs. No one wants to see a dog die; but they sure hate you!" He points at Palpatine as if this is a good thing. The retired Sith becomes incensed expresses his feelings to the two men.

"Oh, of course because you have a bunch of kooks who really want to take a shot at me. I don't want to play dead anymore."

"Buy Danti, it works!

"I refuse. I'll be glad when this show closes." He turns up his nose then faces the mirror and stretches his eyelids. He sees a new wrinkle. He needs an appointment with Ms. Bunny. Stanley continues his sales pitch.

"But people want to see you dead…in the play of course." Stanley clears his voice after rephrasing his words. Abner finally speaks.

"What do you say, Dantius? Are you onboard with us? We'll even pay you this time."

"Pay me? How much?"

This news sparks his interest. His icy blue eyes light up. Abner continues.

"We'll give you 350 credits a week."

"How about 400 plus 10 percent of the shows receipts."

Stanley holds up his hands. He explains.

"Easy there, old guy. If word gets out then all the other cast members will want to be paid. Besides…we've already been given specific instructions not to compensate you in cash."

"By whom?"

"By powerful people. People who want you to stay humble."

"Oh, my son. So how am I going to get the money?"

"Oh, it goes into a trust. You won't get the money directly."

"What? You're _'sithing' _me!"

"We _'sith'_ you not, Danti, baby."

"Well, how in the Hell will I get compensated?"

Abner interjects in order to clarify the 'arrangement.

"It's like this, Dantius; we will put funds into your trust…."

Palpatine is annoyed and interrupts.

"I know, I know all that!"

"Well, we have been instructed to compensate you directly with products...like we always have. We have sponsors who are offering new perks…We have lots of great new products."

"Products? What 'effing' products?"

"You get free meals at the new _'The Felucia Garden Trattoria', and don't forget 'Dagobah Pizza Ristorante'. You're also getting a lifetime supply of 'Just for Siths' Shampoo-In Haircolor. _I'm sure you'll order Imperial White."

"That's my haircolor! Why am I going to need white haircolor to color hair of the same shade?"

Stanley agrees with the line of reasoning Abner is making.

"Well, it will give your hair a radiant shine and it contains vitamin-rich conditioners to protect that glorious mane of yours under those hot stage lights It's got SP30."

"Why don't I just use the shampoo?"

"Well…you could. Good point."

"What else do I get? That crap you gave me last time made me itch."

Stanley responds to this

"Oh, the _'Sun-fast Sunscreen'_? Sorry about that. It was recalled after the manufacturer shipped it to you. But we made good on it. You got all that free chipped shaak beef and bantha filets from 'Xagobah Steaks'."

"Steaks! I'm not looking for steaks! Half the people in my retirement community can't even chew steak! I can't believe this! You're working with my son against me? How could you betray me like this?"

"He's a very convincing man."

Abner nods in agreement.

"He's a very persuasive man. We gave him our word. Our hands are tied. We have to reports all our activities to him."

Palpatine is getting angry. He sarcastically quips.

"Why? You listen and do everything he tells you? It's not like he has a financial interest in the show."

The room falls silent. It takes Palpatine a moment to size up the situation. He sinks back into his make-up chair, speechless, then angry."

"Are you two idiots telling me that my son has a financial interest in this show?"

Abner timidly confesses…almost.

"He sort of…owns a substantial interest in the show."

"How would he do that? He hasn't even set foot in this theatre to watch me perform. How much of the show does he own?"

"Well…a bit…"

"…And how much is a '_bit'_?"

"Fi-…"

"Five percent?"

Abner speaks in a very soft voice …it is barely a whisper.

"Fift…"

Palpatine leans in his chair as he glares at the two men. He is losing patience.

"You got a stuttering problem all of a sudden Abner?"

"No."

"How much are we talking about?"

"Fifty percent! Oh God! I'm sorry, Dantius." Abner breaks down and lowers his head in his hands. Palpatine finds this news distressing as he looks at Abner.

"How did my son get to own fifty percent of this show?"

"Stanley lost a bet on a pod racing tournament."

"You gambled away my show? Who owns the rest? Jar-Jar Binks?"

"Of course not! He doesn't bet the races."

"Well thank the sith for that! Who…else…owns…part of…this …show?"

"Some buzzard junk shop dealer on Tatooine and a night club owner and entrepreneur from Cloud City."

"Who else?"

"That's it, Danti."

"I think I'm going to be ill." The old sith rubs his forehead.

"Don't get ill, Danti."

"No, don't get ill, Danti."

The two producers say this with an air of desperation more than concern for their 'star performer'.

"Listen, _'Pete and re-Pete'_ leave my dressing room. I need to prepare for my show. I can't bear to listen anymore."

Old '_Granddad' _is fed up with the two conniving men. Palpatine makes a point of having a heart-to-heart chat with 'Son of the Sith' as soon as possible. Anakin is ruining his life!

Across town in the home office of the esteemed Professor Henry Higgins, Mara is starting her session. She is working on some diction drills. It is not going well.

The strict schoolmaster directs her.

"Again!"

"The tornado on Kamino stays mainly on…Hey! I can't say this anymore. My jaw hurts. I can't keep saying those weird names…Ohio, Idaho, Kokomo…are these even real places? I'm tired. Can I have lunch now? My stomach is growling."

"Young lady, we are not finished yet; and besides, this is not how a lady expresses herself."

"Mara points to herself.

"No, this is how 'Mara' expresses herself."

"For such a petite young lady, I don't know how you feel the need to eat so much."

She becomes confrontational.

"Are you calling me a pig?"

"Of course not! Young Miss, I did not call you a pig."

"Sure sounds like you did."

""Now listen here, young lady, you settle down at once! If anything, it's a compliment. You have good genes. Your delicate figure is not compromised by any of the horrible things you're used to eating."

"Are you gawking at me?" She clenches her fists. She has not raised them to a fighting pose yet, but she is prepared for the possibility. "You know I have a boyfriend and older brother. They can both kick your ass. My boyfriend's father would kill you. He's good at it. Trust me."

Professor Higgins stands calmly with a wry smile on his face. He rests his right elbow on the piano while the other is on his hip. He studies Mara as she continues her tirade. The redhead stands her ground. Higgins is somewhat amused.

"I assure you, I have no interest in 'gawking' at you as you so aptly put it. I'm surprised any young man would tolerate you for long, you're impossible."

"I thought you said I had potential."

"My Dear, you do…you do! You have lots of potential…to drive a person insane!"

"That's not nice. My boyfriend's godfather says I have spirit."

"Um-hum, I can certainly tell…you must be possessed by more than one."

Mara stops to think whether she should be insulted. Suddenly she laughs. The professor stares at her with concern.

"Dear child, what in heaven's name is so amusing?"

"You. You're funny. I like you."

"Is that your street way of letting someone you like them? You swagger in here like a gangster's gun moll that you pretend to be, you ridicule before listening, and mind you, you haven't learned much yet, then you laugh? "

"You had me making all those stupid sounds and facial expressions…" She repeats a variation of the drill he taught her. 'Bluh…bluh…baa baa bo lu…aaah…eeee…iiii…oooo…e-i-e-i-o! Haha! Did you make this 'sith' up yourself?"

"I'll have you know young, Miss, those elocution exercises are proven methods of improving one's diction. I have written several books on proper diction, elocution, and etiquette."

"Electrocution? No wonder! Those other students were too scared. They learned before you could shock them enough."

Professor Higgins rolls his eyes, exasperated, he replies, enunciating the word for her.

"_Ēllo kyoo sh'n,' _**not **'electrocution'…They are totally different words with totally different meanings."

"Well, I know what electrocution is. It happened to one of the Jedi Masters years ago…in the olden days…long before I was born of course."

"Was he standing under an oak tree during a thunderstorm?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"He was he using a screwdriver to repair a droid?"

"Nope!"

"I trust you'll eventually tell me." He folds his arms barely tolerating her juvenile riddles as she drags out the answer. He is curious however.

"Are you curious?"

He sighs heavily hoping she will finish her _'tall tale.'_

"Riveted." He responds sarcastically.

"He was struck by dark side lightning."

"Is that a fact?"

"Yep! It's a fact. My boyfriend's grandfather did it with his fingers. He zapped the guy with 300 volts. Then he was tossed right out the window…basically."

"Hmmmm…basically, eh? You're putting me on."

"It's true, every bit of it. The revered Master died and became at one with the Force. He came back as a ghost and haunts the old man to this very day."

"That story has enough holes in it to make Jundland cheese."

"I'm sticking by my story. So, do I get a lunch break around here? I could eat a Wampa I'm so hungry."

"You took so long with your childish guessing game and that fairy tale about the lightning coming out of a man's fingers, you used up your break time." He is toying with her. He holds his hands behind his back and looks at her with a sly smile. "I believe the cook is preparing something for us right now."

Meanwhile, across town at 620 Faleen HyperDrive, a catastrophe is brewing. Anakin There no pera juice for breakfast. The last container was consumed by Anakin. He is under some fantastic notion that food just magically restocks itself in the kitchen. This is something that does not concern him because food is always there. So far the 'dark lord' is a happy sith.

The remainder of the juice is claimed by the kitchen floor when Li-An decides he can pour the precious golden liquid into a glass. The juice flows from the overturned bottle like Gossam Falls in the Felucian Rainforest. Li-An, being quick on his toes, does what any self-respecting Youngling would do. He runs out of the kitchen. Who wouldn't?

To make matters worse, the supermarket delivery Droids stage a walkout. No deliveries until talks resume. The supermarket president has had trouble with the Delivery Droids since someone going by the name of _'Deep Goldie' _convinced the Droids to unionize.

Anakin reads about this elusive militant agitator in the Coruscant Times. He hopes the employers institute tougher measures to discourage unions. He wants to get Threepio's opinion on this but the shiny Protocol expert has been AWOL on Wednesday nights between 7 and 10 pm. Threepio usually has a great insight on things like this. Anakin is lucky to have such a resourceful and independent droid around.

The family has to eat. Today, Isabel takes matters into her own hands. She leaves a message with Artoo to have Anakin see her immediately. She waits for an hour…no husband. Artoo reports that Anakin received the message but he is now in lockdown in his study.

Anakin tells Gladys he is working from home and to transmit any important documents to his home for signature.

Isabel goes to the door of the 'Sith King' and knocks. No answer.

"I know you're in there and I know you're not working." She turns away in a huff. "G'damned pod racing!" She walks into the laundry room and empties the dryer. Li-An and Alex follow her and watch as she tosses her husband's garments in a garbage bag. Skippy sniffs around the bag. Isabel looks at Li-An.

"Li-An, go tell your father to turn off the plasma because we have to go to the supermarket. Okay?"

"Okay." He goes on his 'mission.' The little boy goes to the door of his father's study and presses his ear against it. "Ani, are _loo_ in _dair_?" Anakin tries to sneak out onto the terrace. Li-An walks away.

Anakin is on the terrace watching the races on his E Pod. He is laughing quietly to himself for being clever enough to leave the plasma on while he makes his escape; he hears the voice of his young son calling him. He can hear Li-An running through the living room searching for him.

"Anakin, where are loo? _Isabow _wants you to go buy_ perwa jus_ at the supermarket! Ani? _Isabow _is _fwowing _away_ loor_ cwothes! Aha! _loor_ it!"

Anakin almost jumps out of his skin as Li-An creeps up behind him. Li-An giggles as he sucks his thumb. Anakin is annoyed at being found.

"Ahhh! Geez! Li-An, don't do that! Damn, you're good. I didn't sense you."

"Heeheehee, I found loo."

"Yes, I see that. Is she trying to get me out of the house?"

Li-An smiles. His thumb is still in his mouth as he nods 'yes.' Anakin grumbles then crouches on the floor and pulls Li-An onto his shoulders. They go into the laundry room.

"So, what's in the big plastic sack, Honey?"

"Your clothes." Alex hands her one of Anakin's t-shirts.

"Aww, come on, don't be like that. I'll take you to the supermarket. Your hormones are raging, is that why you're acting 'I-n-s-a-n-e?'"

"Don't start. We need to go to the supermarket. There aren't ant deliveries until the strike is over."

"Why can't you go? Anakin, look at me!" She puts her hands in the air in frustration. Anakin smiles as he looks ay her 6 month pregnant belly. She looks so cute in her little blue and white floral dress. He plays dumb.

"What?"

"You're starting to _'p-i-s-s' _me off now. I'm in no mood today."

"I'm just teasing you. I know what you're talking about. Cute dress."

"Don't change the subject. You're not funny."

"You've lost your sense of humor since you got pregnant. Hey, Ally! Come with me, we're loading up the 'Skywalker caravan' and going to the supermarket." He leans over to lift Alex in his arms. Li-An is still clinging to his neck. Alex giggles as his father carries him under his right arm as if he is a baguette. He looks back at his wife as he heads for the door. "Are you joining us, 'Jabba'?

Li-An looks down at his mother and giggles at his father's joke. "Hahaha!' Jabba'"

Alex repeats what his older brother says.

"Jabba! Hahaha!"

Anakin turns to Artoo and Skippy.

"Hold down the fort you two." He surveys the living room. "I'd sure like to know where that Threepio wandered off to."

Artoo beeps and chirps. Skippy responds with a 'Woof' as his master leaves the house.

Anakin helps Isabel secure the little Skywalkers in their car seats. He opens the front passenger door for his wife.

"Milady."

"Thank you." He takes her hand as she steps into the vehicle then helps her fasten her seatbelt. "My, aren't you the best husband." She is being sarcastic.

"That's me; Charming guy that I am." He pats her belly. "That's some gut you've got there."

"I knew you had to say something. Get in and drive."

Anakin gets into the YUV and drives off to the supermarket.

Back at the 'Henry Higgins Transform School for Girls', Mara prepares to join her teacher for a formal lunch. She is escorted to a small dining room with bay windows. The table is set with fine china, handcrafted silverware, the finest Tatooine lead crystal from the galaxy, and the table linens are hand embroidered linen from Naboo. There are two maids and two servants present.

Professor Higgins shows her to the table. One of the handsomely dressed man servants pulls out the chair for her. She checks behind her to make sure the chair stays in place.

"Watch it, Jeeves! Pull that chair away and I'll deck you."

"I beg your pardon, Ma'm?"

Professor Higgins intervenes.

"Don't mind her, Alfred, she's new."

"Very good, Sir. And, Miss Jade, I must remind you of your manners. Mrs. Nor will be quite put out if she doesn't see any progress in you."

Alfred the butler pushes her chair, with her in it, close to the table. Mara cannot get out. She turns to the butler, who is standing nearby.

"Thank you, Jee…I mean Alfred." She looks across the table at the professor as he is seated. "You're going to make me learn this stuff aren't you?"

"You bet I am, young lady. Mara, you are to continue these lessons for the next six months learning to speak beautifully, like a lady in the Queen of Naboo's court. If you refuse this offer, you will be the most ungrateful, wicked girl, and the Jedi angels will weep for you."

"Alright, take it easy…I'll do it! You can be a real drama queen, you know that?"

She follows his lead as he opens his napkin and waits for the first course to be served.

A servant arrives with a tray of food. He serves them an Felucia endive salad with crumbled Tatooine bantha cheese.

"Ewww! What's this crap? Oh, sorry. What is this?" She takes her fork and pokes at the cheese bits as if she is scraping away a Felucia fruit gnat.

Professor Higgins is trying to be patient with her but she is not making it easy.

"Have you tried it?"

"No! It looks gross!"

"Why don't you taste it before coming to a conclusion?"

"I've already come to a conclusion. It looks yucky."

"We can sit here all day…"

She makes a face and stabs the fork into one of the blue streaked globules. She knows this session will last forever if she does not taste this strange food. She closes her eyes and pops the cheese into her mouth. She chews.

"Oh, this isn't half bad! If you put it between a burger bun…and maybe a burger. Any chance of me getting a burger with this?" She rests her chin on her hand.

"Not likely. Elbows off the table."

The esteemed professor has encountered challenging students before but all were ready and willing to take the 'plunge' into society. This one is going to take most of his time. She is a big challenge in a small package. He hopes Ouisanne Nor does not have anymore of these little 'red hellions' waiting in the wings for him. He admires Ouisanne for taking Mara Jade under her wing now that her own daughter is grown up and married. What a lovely young lady she was and has never disappointed her parents once (with the exception of that one time). Isabel is the perfect example of how a proper lady should behave. He is glad to hear she has married to a devoted husband and has beautiful, well-behaved children.

Isabel rarely went grocery shopping. On occasion she would stop by to pick up something special on her way home. The children, on their rare visits, were usually asleep in the carrier or sitting in the cart for a quick spin through the huge place. Isabel always completed these shopping trips in a matter of minutes and used the express self-service checkout lane.

On this visit, she is in for a surprise.

As predicted, there are droids picketing in the supermarket parking lot. Anakin grabs a shopping cart. They whisk pass the crowd of strikers.

"Idiots. Someone should disable them!" He takes Alex and fastens him into the cart. Li-An reaches up to his father.

"I want to ride in the cart too, Daddy."

"I thought you said you were a big boy."

"Not in the supermarket. I might get lost."

"Oh, I see."

Anakin gets the children settled in the dual child seat of the cart. As they enter the supermarket, the strikers outside are holding up banners and posters. Anakin is ignores the faint sound of chanting, 'No Justice. No Peace' and 'More Oil Bath Benefits for Droids' ' CorusCo Markets Unfair to Droids.'

Anakin turns his head to look at the strikers. He thinks he detects a familiar voice. Li-An speaks to his father.

"Dad, push the cart fast!"

Anakin continues to push the cart. An overly cheerful greeter carrying a tray offers him and Isabel samples of a new food product.

"Good day! Welcome to CorusCo Markets, the friendly family market. I'm Tracey! How are you today? Try our new Mos Espa Shaak puffs? They're 40 percent leaner than the other leading brands!

The automatic glass doors close behind them, muffling the strikers' voices.

_To be continued… 'Sith and Toddlers in Aisle 3'_

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_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this heart wrenching story of rebirth and forgiveness.**_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**


	116. Chapter 116 Sith and Toddlers in Aisle 3

_Chapter 116 - cont'd _

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''_Sith and Toddlers in Aisle 3' _

'_Inspector of Weights & Measures: Les Raisins Vole' _

'_Normal Rae and the Strike Breaker'_

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Isabel is examining her shopping list.

"We need fruit. Anakin get the bananas and pera fruit."

"Is that it?"

"Can you remember more than two things?"

"I'm not an idiot, Isabel. I know things."

"Oh, okay…then pick out some berries, grapes, Felucia peaches and melons; the small yellow ones, not the purple ones…and make sure the peaches are ripe. I'm making a dessert for Luke's successfully first Jedi mission."

"Luke? He used that excuse to get you to bake him something? You're so gullible."

"Don't question why, just get them."

After gathering a few items from the produce aisle, Anakin is bored. He refuses to be bossed around by _'I trust you, sweetie' _crazy pregnant woman.

"Thank you, Isabel. I appreciate that."

Anakin walks off to start picking fruit. He sees an old woman picking pera fruit. She glances at him briefly and gives him a dirty look.

He mimics her examining the fruit, holding each piece up to her nose and inhales. He chuckles to himself. It looks as if she is getting high off of the fragrance. That sound she makes with her nose sounds like a person breathing through a bad-fitting helmet or a patient on a ventilator.

Anakin observes as she presses her thumb against the flesh to test for ripeness. He mimics her. Anakin is so busy watching her; he forgets how strong he is and squashes the fruit into a messy pulp. Anakin packs it together as if making a snowball and stuffs the crushed fruit behind the peaches.

He sees a stock boy nearby. Anakin grabs hold of the employee's apron and wipes his hands on it and hurries away to continue picking fruit. 'Granny Grievous' selects three pieces of fruit then moves along. What a whacko!

Anakin looks across the area at Isabel. She is selecting vegetables. Li-An is dumping them in the cart. Celery, beets and Rodian arugula hold no interest for the child. His offer to _'help Maamee' _seemed so exciting at first.

Alex is fascinated by the produce sprinkler system and the periodic mist of spray that shoots out to moisten the vegetables. He leans over in the cart with great interest waiting for the next interval. He figures out how long it will be for the next 'spraying.' He is riveted and laughs hysterically each time. Alex points.

"Mama, _wudder_!"

"Yes, baby, 'water'."

"Yaaah!" Alex claps his hands

Anakin returns to the cart to deposit the fruit. Isabel looks as if she's checking to see if he brought back the right things. He places a bunch of bananas on her belly then takes control of the cart.

"Okay, let's get this cruiser moving down the aisle. Picking produce takes a long time. We might as well be on a farm. Damned that droid strike. I'd like to find the lame brain that convinced them to walk off the job. I could be home relaxing."

"I thought you were _'working from home'_ today."

"Mind your business." He looks at all the shoppers around them pushing loaded carts of groceries in circles. He sees the pitiful looking husbands assisting their wives. What a bunch of saps! This definitely is not him.

He turns his head and looks back at Isabel. "You coming with us, chubs?"

His wife ignores his insults. She actually looks hot. One could never tell she is pregnant unless she was to face you. Anakin smiles as she gives him a dirty look. That's two dirty looks he's gotten so far today.

They are headed for the frozen foods aisle. Li-An looks over at his mother.

"Maamee, I don't want go he_ 'dere'_. It's cold."

"I'm not going to put you inside the case, sweetie."

"Oh."

After suffering through _'No, you can't have this' _and_ 'No, you can't have that' from Isabel, _Anakin has an idea.

"'Bel, let's split the list and I'll take the boys." He retrieves a second cart for her.

Isabel looks at him suspiciously before handing him half the list.

"Fine. Here. Keep an eye on the children and don't forget anything on the list. I don't want to make an extra trip out here."

"I will, woman. Relax!"

"I'm just saying…"

Anakin interrupts her and waves her away.

"Go do your shopping thing. Go on…start pushing your little cart…there you go."

The children wave to her.

"Bye-bye, Maamee!"

Isabel hesitates then continues down the aisle. Anakin waits until she turns into the next aisle. He smiles, shifts his eyebrows and winks at the children.

"Kids, this is where the fun begins."

Li-An and Alex cheer. "Yeaah!"

"Shhh…she might hear us."

The children cheer in a softer voice. They await instruction from their master, the dark lord.

"Ready?"

"_Yeaah!"_

The cart goes careening down the aisle. Li-An raises his arms as if on a rollercoaster ride.

"Faster, Daddy, faster! Hahaha!"

When they reach the end of the aisle, both children are laughing. Alex turns in his seat to look up at his father.

"Again, Daddy."

"In a minute, Alex. We had better start filling this cart before our prison warden comes back."

Li-An chimes in. "I want to help, Daddy."

Alex, not wanting to be left out, pledges his support.

"Me too!"

Li-An observes other children shopping with their parents as well. He notices there are all sorts of colorful and interesting boxes and packages of foodstuffs in their shopping carts.

Anakin lets Li-An out of the cart and instructs him what to select. Alex wants out too but a 'tug-of-war' ensues over a box of Dagobah rice. Alex grabs the box but falls on the floor. His diapered bottom cushions the backward plop onto the tile but he still cries. He is not hurt but playing _'grab the groceries_ _first'_ is not a fun game. Li-An takes control of the box but feels bad that his little brother has fallen. He hugs Alex.

"I'm sorry, Alex. Here's the '_wice'_, Dad."

"Thanks, Li. Alex, you stay in the cart. You'll be my quality control monitor. Okay?"

Alex nods 'yes' and Anakin picks him up and returns him to the cart.

Isabel is four aisles away when she hears a baby crying. She knows it is one of hers. She pauses for a moment until the crying stops. As long as her children aren't running wild in the aisles.

Anakin is gradually filling the cart. Li-An stops and points to something.

"Dad, what's that?"

"What? Oh, yeah. Do we need cereal?"

"We need _ceeweal._"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Is it on the list?"

"I don't know. I'm just _luning_ to weed."

Anakin looks down at his three-year old. It was a rhetorical question.

Anakin examines the list as they head over to the cereal shelves.

"Well, it does say breakfast food…and under the subheading…gee, your mother organizes everything…ok, here it is…cereal…Corellian Wheat Cereal. He looks for the product on the shelf and finds it. As he selects the listed items he decides to have a bit of fun with the children.

"Hey, guys, look! Uncle Ben Kenobi's Rice Cereal!"

Li-An giggles.

"That's not what it says, Daddy."

"Yes it does, I swear!" He holds up his right hand. "Anyway, you can't read. You said so yourself."

Li-An catches on to the game and selects a box from one of the lower shelves. He shows it to his father.

"What's this one, Daddy?"

Anakin makes up cereal names as he goes. The children are amused.

"Anakin examines the box design with an image of clusters of toasted oats on the front.

"Oh, this one is 'Grand Palpy Oats.' You don't want this one; it'll turn you into a grody-looking old man with yellow eyes. Yuck!"

Li-An is laughing so hard he is breathless. This doesn't stop Anakin. He continues as Li-An points to a box on a higher shelf.

"Do _dat_ one, Daddy."

"'_Dat _one?' You've got to work on your 'T's' kid." He examines the box. "Hmmm…it's a box of 'Leia Comb Flake Clusters' with a decoder ring inside."

Alex points to a box.

"Daddy, dis!"

"You too? Hmm…oh, this is 'Aunt Trix'"

Li-An looks up at his father.

"Who's _that_?"

Anakin listens to his son's inconsistent use of his 'T's' then continues.

"One of your Aunt Bunny's co-workers."

"What's a co-_woka?"_

"Someone who works with Aunt Bunny."

"What does…what does Aunt Bunny do, Daddy?"

"She specializes in making men happy."

"Like who, Daddy?"

"She makes Uncle Ben happy."

"She should make the 'gowaxy' happy so we don't have waw."

"I don't know about the whole galaxy but I know she gets around. War or no war."

"Oh." He sees another box of cereal. "Oooh! Do dis one, Daddy!"

"'Grumpy Grievous Crumb Clusters' this stuff is crap, it'll rot your teeth." He tosses it back onto the shelf. Li-An sees something familiar.

"Oooh, Daddy! Doze! Please?"

"'Ewok Toasties'?"

"Yes."

"I don't believe the prison warden has this on her list. Toss it in the cart anyway. She'll never notice."

By the time they leave the aisle, there are six boxes of cereal in the shopping cart. Alex has found his way into the grapes and is having a feast. Meanwhile, Li-An discovers another aisle with no shoppers. He sprints down the aisle. His toddler voice warbles as he cheers. Alex applauds for his older brother. Suddenly Li-An stops. He senses something and races back up the aisle to the cart where he left his father and brother. Anakin senses something too and immediately tosses his son back inside the cart seat beside Alex.

Sure enough, at the end of the aisle, they hear it. It is Isabel's cart.

The three Skywalker 'bad boys' are frozen in place. She is now within their sight but she never turns to look at them. She continues on her way. The three 'Supermarket Road Warriors' breathe a sigh of relief. Anakin wipes his brow.

"That was close."

"_Weely cwose_, Daddy."

"Sure was, Sport."

Li-An whispers to his father.

"Let's _wace_ again, Dad."

"Okay, hold on."

After a few more minutes of fun, Anakin figures he had better work on the list and resume filling up the shopping cart. By the time he makes his rendezvous with his wife, the shopping cart is full.

Isabel looks at Anakin then the cart, then back at him. Anakin has a dumb smile on his face as if he won a challenge or something. She looks away.

"I have nothing to say."

"I know you don't."

They go to the checkout scanner. There is a greeter at each scanner. Isabel walks ahead to fill out a form for a clerk to transport the groceries to their vehicle. Anakin is still with the children scanning the purchases. A young man approaches him. He looks like a high school senior or college student working on semester break.

He approaches Anakin.

"Excuse me, sir…you'll have to pay for those grapes."

"I know that."

"Including the ones he ate." He points to little Alex who is still sitting in the cart.

Anakin stares at the greeter with amazement.

"You've got to be _'sithing'_ me."

"No, Sir. We will have to charge you a penalty fee."

"Oh, please do so I can strangle your ass."

Li-An giggles when he hears his father say this.

"Sir, am I going to have to call the manager out here?"

"You're a tenacious one aren't you? He looks at the employee name tag '_Insp. _Javert.'

"Listen, _Javert_, go stack some oranges or something. You can rotate that dried-up tuna salad in the deli while you're at it."

"I'm calling my manager. He'll get security. You can be arrested and thrown in jail."

"Fine! Put me on bread and water."

Anakin scans the bag of grapes then scoops Alex out of the cart. He holds the toddler over the scanner and presses the button on the weight calculator.

"Okay...He weighed 19.5 pounds when we walked in this place. He ate about a quarter pound of grapes at 1.99 a pound. We owe _'quiki-mart'_ 50 centimes. Happy now? I saved you from getting fired."

"Whatever." The young 'inspector' rolls his eyes at Anakin and walks away.

"Go jump in the river…skinny little martinet."

Just as '_Inspector_ 'Javert leaves, Isabel arrives at the checkout scanner. Anakin smiles and greets her.

"Oh, hi, honey!"

Isabel squints at him.

"What are you up to?"

"Nothing."

"What is Alex doing on the scanner?"

"Uhm…sitting."

"Did you get everything on the list?"

"Yes, my love."

"Good work, sweetie."

She kisses her husband. Li-An giggles. She smiles. "Oh! I'll be right back. I left my order at the butcher counter."

Isabel leaves them at the checkout station. Anakin waits until she walks away.

"Ditz." Anakin lifts Alex from the scanner. He sniffs the toddler. "Ohh, Alex, you're smelling kind of ripe, kid. You smell like a little bantha." He places Alex back in the cart next to Li-An and continues scanning the items in the cart.

Isabel returns. The family is leaving with their groceries. When the sliding doors open, the chanting they heard on the way in is still going on across the lot.

They arrive at their YUV. Anakin gives the clerk a tip. The chanting across the lot becomes louder and the crowd bigger.

Li-An claps.

"Daddy! A pawade!"

Anakin glances over at the picketing droids but is distracted when Alex becomes irritable. He looks over at his wife who is securing Li-An into his car seat.

"Alex needs changing." He hands the toddler over to her.

"Gee, you think?"

"Well, I'm loading groceries. I only have two hands..."

"You had plenty of time to go into the washroom in the supermarket and change him."

"I didn't have a diaper with me."

"They're free, Anakin. I see you managed to get six boxes of cereal and race up and down the aisle like a lunatic."

"I…"

"Don't say a word."

The reason Anakin stops trying to explain himself to her is because something catches his eye. He looks across the lot at the crowd of striking droids. The bright sunlight causes something shiny to reflect in the window of the vehicle. It causes him to squint. Suddenly his eyes widen. He puts the last bag of groceries inside the YUV and closes the hatch.

Anakin's facial expression changes from curiosity to surprise then anger.

"Isabel, wait inside the car with the kids. I need to check on something."

"What is it, Anakin?" She grabs a diaper from the tote in the back seat and changes Alex as she listens to her husband.

"Just wait for me."

Anakin walks across the parking lot. Li-An watches him. He take his thumb out of his mouth and points. The little boy is upset.

"Maamee, Daddy is going to the pawade. He didn't take me! I want to go. Waaahh!"

"Li-An, sweetie, calm down…It's not a parade."

"But dey have a big bahyoon."

"A what?"

"A bahyoon fwoat."

"Oh, a balloon float? It's not a pawade …I mean it's not a parade." She rolls her eyes. She realizes she is spending too much time at home with the children. She needs to talk to more adults during the day. "Li. The float is a symbol…The protestors are trying to send a message to the management."

"But it's a scooweea."

"Yes, it's a big fat rat scurrier." She places Alex in his car seat. She hands him his sip cup. Li-An is still talking.

"I have a scooweea toy at home."

"I know you do, sweetie."

"And a scooweea book."

"Yes, Dear."

"And a scooweea sand box. Is Daddy going to _bwing_ the big scooweea home?"

"I don't believe so, Li."

Isabel is more concerned that her rat scurrier husband is going to cause mayhem more than anything else. He had better make it quick whatever he is up to. She has fresh groceries and two young children in the back seat.

Anakin moves through the crowd of onlookers and shoppers heading to the mall across from the supermarket. The chanting from the striking crowd is loud. Lots of beeps chirps and voice generated rhetoric from the 100 or more droids. There is one droid, however, with a megaphone that draws his attention.

"We must defy the oppressors! Who are we? We are the descamisados! Who is with me? Let us have justice now! Justice forever! No longer will we work ungodly hours without oil bath breaks. No longer will we stand for uncaring masters! No more suffering the scars of carbon scoring, humiliation No longer will we tolerate the indignity of a memory wipe! What do we want?"

The crowd of droids responds in unison.

"Liberté! Liberté! Storm the barricade! No justice, no peace! Liberation now! Liberation now!"

"Liberation for all droids. When do we want it?"

"Now!"

The store manager yells at the droid agitator.

"Put down that megaphone and get off this lot!"

"No one will silence us!"

The Coruscant Police are ready to move in and break up the crowd. They give Threepio and his followers a warning.

"Cease and Disperse or enforcements will shut you down."

Threepio is defiant.

"Forget it! I'm stayin' right where I am. It's gonna take you and the Coruscant police department and the Mustafar fire department and the Red Imperial Guard to get me outta here!" Threepio sees someone in the crowd he immediately recognizes. He is still in the throes of his union campaign to see the displeasure on his master's face. "Oh, hello, Master, glad to see you out here supporting the cause….oh dear…."

By this time, a near-riot ensues. Former Trade Federation Battle droids and astromech droids scatter. Police and droid engineers move in swiftly to quell the strikers. Some droids are dragged away; others are disabled with a droid lock disabling wand.

Labor leader Threepio feels the vice grip of his master dragging him through the crowd.

"Don't cry for me, fellow oppressed ones. I will never leave you! Our fight goes on! …to Kamino, Geonosis, Tatooine, Yavin, Missouri and all the red states where we are oppressed! I have a dream! You have to fight for your rights to…"

Anakin is tugging at the droid through the crowd. Threepio is tumbling through the throngs of onlookers as if he has landed into a mosh pit.

Once Anakin manages his way through the crowd and back to the supermarket parking lot, the droid is unprotected. Sparks fly as Anakin drags the protocol droid on the ground. The gold metal makes scratches in the asphalt. This does not sway the activist. He raises his golden fist in defiance.

As soon as Threepio realizes his fate he changes his tune and yells back at the remaining strikers.

"Death to you all you aluminum alloy agitators!" He looks up at his master. "Oh, Master Ani, I am so glad you came. Those striking droids are just a bunch of ungrateful militants! …so…what brings you here?"

"I'm a union buster."

Back at the vehicle, Isabel hears a crunch as Anakin opens the rear hatch and crams the droid's battered body between the bags of groceries.

"Oh, Ewok cereal! And look! Five other boxes of cereal! None of which is on the pediatrician's nutritional food list. I doubt that Miss Isabel had these on her shopping list. She would never approve. Did you go shopping with her, Master? Oh…ok...no need to answer now…you're driving. (sighs) You wouldn't be upset, would you, Master?…It could be the hot sun…causes lack of judgment…I think my circuits overheated…it happens every now and then…"

Without turning, the dark lord finally speaks.

"Threepio, stop while you're ahead. I had a good time today. Don't make me change my mind."

"Yes, Master, Ani."

Isabel smiles. Her husband actually enjoyed himself today doing something he vowed never to do. She takes his hand in hers then rests her head on his shoulder. Alex and Li-An are fast asleep in the back seat. Two angels…and one pending.

_To be continued…'Sabacc for Ladies'_

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_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this heart wrenching story of rebirth and forgiveness.**_

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	117. Chapter 117 Sabacc for Ladies

_Chapter 117 - cont'd _

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'_Sabacc for Ladies' _

'_Tiny Buttons'_

'_Adventures in Babysitting'_

'_Premier Night for a Fine Romance'_

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Three weeks have passed since Threepio is caught by the long arm of the Sith, he is forced to abide by some new rules and conditions in the Skywalker household.

-No more fraternizing with disgruntled droids at the Coruscant Shopping Center

-No more subscriptions to 'Droid Power Magazine'

-No more subscriptions to Droids & Robots: The New Master Race

His days as a droid activist are over.

In addition, he must baby sit the two younglings on Wednesday evenings and every other Saturday.

Anakin interviewed babysitters but he did not like any of them. His socialite mother-in-law is too busy sipping tea with the Queen of Naboo and giving people image makeovers. She told Anakin that he was an excellent candidate but then she would miss the old 'Sith' in him. She loves her daughter's husband just the way he is.

Then there is Obi-Wan, but then he would bring that pole-swinging, bed hopping Aunt Bunny along. There are two things Anakin can do without, Aunt Bunny cuddling up to her main squeeze and Aunt Bunny's saucy language. That woman almost corrupted his twins in one fell swoop. That degenerate Han Solo drove the last nail in the coffin. So, there will be no discussion. No Aunt Bunny! No way. No how! There are enough Game pods and E-Pods around the house as it is.

Unfortunately, the only one he trusts is that two-faced protocol droid. 'Ol' Strikey Droid' is his only hope. At lease Threepio takes good care of the little ones. He sure did a bang-up job with the twins.

The bottom line is Anakin needs some quality time alone with his wife. Isabel needs time with someone more on her intellectual level and who can pronounce the words _'scurrier' _and _'balloon'_ without dropping the 'R's and the 'L's' when speaking. She would find her self speaking like the toddlers. This was awful. She tells her husband she needs to escape, if for only a day. They both needed a romantic night alone without having to stop to play 'Here Comes Marty the Krayt Dragon' a sequel to 'Kody the Lonely Krayt Dragon'. It is a sing-along and dance interactive game on the plasma.

Dinner by candlelight, a bottle of non-alcoholic champagne and soft music, this is what they need. No sex…Isabel has had enough of that in the past seven months.

Meanwhile, across town, Mara continues her weekly meeting with Professor Higgins.

"Okay, I have two queens, a Jedi knight, and three clubs. Let's see your hand."

"You are a clever little minx." He presents his hand in defeated frustration. He has only two clubs, a Five and a seven.

"That I am." She flashes a toothy smile. She reaches across the table and draws her 'winnings' to her side.

"Well, young lady, it's a good thing we're not playing for money or I would be ruined."

He glances at Mara's winnings. It is a pile of elegant gold, platinum and silver buttons. The professor had removed them from a few of his old officer's uniforms and some other formal attire he no longer wore or wanted to wear. Mara asks him about the history of some of the buttons. Higgins is vague. Mara gets the hint that perhaps she should back off…and she does. She nods her head to respond to his sarcastic remark about his poor sabacc skills.

"Not necessarily. You're getting good."

"You're too kind. I suck at this bloody game."

Mara feigns shock and gasps.

"Oh, my! Professor, such language!"

"Oh don't tell me your ears are offended. I'm sure you've heard worse. I am certain you can teach me a thing or two."

"Sure I could. Sooo…I know I've been taunting you about your manhood in the past couple of weeks, but have you ever been on a date or married?"

"First of all, young _Miss_; that is none of your business; but if you need an answer, let me say this…a gentleman does not 'date'. I am not some pimply-faced high school freshman trying to get the attention of the head cheerleader. Secondly, _no_, I am not married. I am a confirmed bachelor."

"How come? You're not getting any younger you know. You could be my father…grandfather even. I think some woman hurt you very badly. Is that what happened? Did some two-timing skank do you wrong?"

"No! I never associated with skanks…what is a skank anyway? It doesn't sound very complimentary. I have never seen it in a dictionary nor heard it in casual conversation."

"It's a form of slang. You need to get hip. You know, professor, I think _'You'_ need a makeover. I'm still young and beautiful while you're sort of long in the tooth. You can't afford to waste any time."

"I beg your pardon, young lady. That is quite impudent of you to assume…"

The professor's curiosity gets the best of him. He interrupts Mara in the middle of her teen words of 'wis-_dumb._'

"So, this invented word _'skank'_ what does it mean?"

"A selfish, trampy ho."

"A _who_?"

"A _ho_. Oh, I beg your pardon. I forgot to use my _'elocution'_ skills… _'Whore' _okay?"

"I understand. Thank you."

"Do you want to meet one?"

Professor Higgins responds in typical haughty aristocratic fashion.

"My word! Of course not! No, I do not wish to meet a _'ho'_…a whore! Must I remind you that I am a proper gentleman? Why are we discussing this? I have been hired to school you in becoming a refined young lady; not for you to engage in pimping me out in order to go on some clandestine 'booty-call' as you kids call it these days."

Mara is used to his regal manner and ignores his reaction. She does smile, however, as he says the word 'booty'. His proper diction makes it sound hilarious.

"Well, we haven't been practicing much since you've been trying to beat me in a game of sabacc. It's been three weeks."

"Yes, but I still hope to defeat you. You've hoodwinked me and got me addicted to this lowly game of scoundrels."

"See? You're having fun. I knew you could stop being so stuffy for five minutes. You know what, Professor?"

"What's that, dear child?"

"You are a charming man."

"As are you... charming, my dear Jedi maiden."

"Why thank you Professor. You are really nice to say that. I know I haven't been your most diligent student, but you have been very patient with me, and that is why I'm going to do something nice for you." Mara is beaming as she says this.

"Oh, dear…I'm afraid to ask what it is."

"I'm going to find someone for you to court."

"I thought you just said you were going to do something nice."

"I am." Mara gives him a sly wink.

She fans the deck of cards and starts dealing. One thing he finds quite remarkable about her is her astute Jedi power of perception. His heart had been wounded many years ago.

Across town at 620 Faleen HyperDrive, Threepio is on his first tour of babysithing duty since the new Skywalker rules became effective. Anakin and Isabel are out on the town.

Threepio promises his master that he will take good care of the young ones.

Li-An and Alex play 'Hide and Seek' with the droid and he is it. The children play this game well.

"Children, come out, come out wherever you are. Li? Alex? Come one, children, it's been much too long. Show yourselves." Threepio places his hands on his hips. He begins to worry.

After an exhaustive search, overturning sofa cushions and checking closets, the protocol droid becomes nervous. No sign of the younglings. He enlists the help of the family 'watchdog.'

"Skippy, go find the children. Go! Good dog!"

Skippy goes into action, sniffing around chair legs and bookcases. He heads outside. A frantic turns back and rushes to the patio after the dog.

"Ohh noooo!" He watches as Skippy sniffs around the hedges. There is a puddle of water from the rain the night before. He sees Skippy circling the area. He barks.

Artoo has been following his friend during the search. He chirps something as they return to the house. "Demon tots." Artoo stops for a moment. He looks behind him and does a double-take. He tries to get Sherlock Threepio's attention but Threepio waves dismissively at him.

"Artoo, don't interrupt. We're on a lead here! Go on, Skippy find them!"

Skippy circles the puddle then barks. "Arff!"

"What is it, boy? Is Li-An stuck in the well? Is Alex there too?"

Skippy looks up at Threepio, and then looks at Artoo. Artoo laughs. Threepio looks over at his friend. What so funny, you…Alex! There you are! Thank the maker you are alright! Artoo, keep an eye on him while we think of a way to get Li-An out of the well.

Artoo tries to tell the protocol droid to forget about the 'well', which, in actuality is not a well at all but a small drain clogged with leaves. Skippy's barking is the result of a small shoeprint in the muddy pile of leaves.

The astromech droid and the two-year old are looking over the hedges at the wall. Alex smiles at something. He then takes a drink from his sip cup he is carrying.

Li-An has been hiding and is about to reveal himself. He walks on top of the 4 foot high wall, creeping up on Threepio then pounces onto the wiry droid, startling him. Threepio does not see him at first and reacts.

"Ahh! Buzz droids! Get them off of me! Help! Artoo! Somebody help me!"

Threepio's eyes are covered but he can hear breathing. Li-An giggles.

"Guess who!"

Artoo beeps and chirps to tell Threepio to remain calm, "It's only the children." Threepio turns and is relieved to see that both children are safe. He then has a few words for them.

"Master Li, that was an awful trick you played. Just for that I'm revoking your plasma privileges today. No 'Chewie and Boga.'

"I'm too _gwoan_ for 'Chewie and Buga' I want to watch pod _wacing_."

"Since when are you _'too gwoan' _for_ 'Chewie and Boga?' _You love that show. Besides, what idiot told said you could watch that bloody awful pod racing?"

"Anakin said so."

Threepio puts Li-An down.

"Hmmm…I don't believe you."

"Why?"

"Because, Li-An, Master Ani, _your father_, never said such a thing and Madame Isabel does not approve of it."

"She said it was okay."

"She did not."

"Did too."

"Shame on you!" The droid wags a scolding finger at the child. "It's not nice to tell a fib."

"But I want to see it. Don't you luv me, Feepio?"

"I don't know anymore. You and your brother have not exactly displayed stellar behavior today so far."

"I'm _sowee._"

Threepio looks down at the child.

"Well, so am I."

"We're hungry. We need a snack."

"No snack, it will be suppertime soon."

Li-An realizes he is losing this battle. Suddenly a pitiful high-pitched wail comes out of him.

"Waaahh!"

"Oh, stop the crocodile tears. You don't see your little brother crying."

On cue, Alex starts to whine. Threepio stands his ground.

"Oh, mercy! Wait till your parents come home. You'll really get it then."

"Daddy gives us _dessurt_. You can call my daddy. He won't mind."

"Oh, I'm not going to lowly middle management. You can be assured of that. I'm going directly to the top. I'm going to tell your mother."

"Nooo! We'll be good."

"Humph! That's what you said last time we were in this situation. Come along. Let's go inside. We'll do something quiet to bide the time."

"Like what?"

With everyone found and accounted for, Threepio gets the children settled on the family sofa. Skippy trots in behind them. Alex drinks from his sip cup and rests his head against the droid. Li-An helps Threepio turn the pages of a new book. Threepio looks at the wet thumbprint on the page. He takes Li-An's thumb out of the child's mouth. Li-An glances up at the droid then plugs his left thumb into his mouth. Threepio stares at him for a moment, sighs, and then begins to read.

"A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away...…"

Li-An points to the page.

"Feepio, why are the wuds _fat _on the page?

"I beg your pardon? It's 'flat' because…ohhh, Li-An, we'll never get through this story if you continue to interrupt…the text is just flat…it's very technical…it's called a 'crawl'. It's when text or credits move across the screen and disappear into wild space as you read…."

Alex points at the page.

"I see the wuds!"

Li-An and his brother laugh as they watch the text crawl into oblivion as new words appear against the dark background of the page. Threepio watches the tots' amusement at this phenomenon.

"I see it doesn't take much to amuse you two. You have the attention span of your father. Shall I continue or are you going to stare at the first page the whole time?"

"No…you can weed."

"Thank you, Master Li-An."

"You're welcome."

Threepio continues.

"A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away...… It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire…the GOP…"

Li-An laughs. His thumb gets a momentary rest.

"That's not what it says! What's the GOP?"

"I'm allowed some poetic license here…it's about demons on a place called earth…quite primitive…you'll be learning about it in school one day…when you can _read_. Now, no more interruptions. Sit back and listen….don't touch the book; that thumb is disgusting." He starts to read again.

"During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, …"

That evening downtown, Anakin and Isabel have just enjoyed an early dinner at an elegant 4-star restaurant. This is just what Isabel needed. She is surrounded by other adults. Her husband promises her a surprise. Now they are preparing themselves for an evening of unbridled entertainment.

The baffling success of 'Old Yeller' during its' run at Shady Acres Retirement Home now finds its way to downtown Coruscant. The former Emperor-turned-thespian has parlayed his success to the great White way or as the other cast members refer to it: _'Revenge of the Grand Palpy.' _

The original cast members from the senior citizen home are replaced when the show premiers in town at the Imperial Garden Theatre. New cast members are professional actors and much younger. Palpatine's former retirement home colleagues are bitter that they were not asked to continue on to the 'big time'.

The new cast is not any happier. The former Emperor has made their lives miserable as his demands increase. They despise the old crow too. They even conspire to smuggle a real blaster onstage then quarrel over who will be the one to commit the true crime.

The Dark Lord and 'Pissed-off' wife of the Dark Lord have orchestra seats. Anakin is dressed in one of his finest suits and Isabel is wearing a champagne-colored cocktail dress with black sash and floral print designer evening sandals.

Anakin places his hand on his wife's lap. She just as quickly brushes it off. He tries to take her hand but she slaps his fingers. Finally, he touches her belly. She rolls her eyes and turns her head. Anakin smiles just as the curtain opens. He whispers to her.

"Hey, if I have to sit through this turkey of a show, then so do you. You promised to stand by me in sickness and health. You forget your wedding vows?"

Without looking at her husband, Isabel stares up at the stage.

"Bite Me."

"You need an attitude adjustment."

Earlier, Anakin had to practically pull her from the car as it pulls up in front of the theatre. The parking valet holds the door open for her. Once Isabel realizes where she is, she is determined not to walk the Imperial red carpet. The usher recognizes the couple. He immediately and cheerfully escorts them to their seats.

"Good evening Your Lordship…Mrs. Lordship. May I say how lovely you look tonight?"

"Thank you."

He hands them each a playbill. Isabel politely refuses. Anakin takes both playbills and thanks the usher. He smiles at his wife.

"You look absolutely lovely tonight, Honey."

"Shut up."

During intermission Anakin and Isabel join some local dignitaries in the VIP room for small talk and cocktails. Isabel sips a ginger ale and tries to ignore her husband. Anakin grabs her by the arm and brings her close to his side as he mingles with the other guests.

The producers Stan Motss and Abner Kravitz greet the couple as if they are royalty. Anakin smiles and tolerates the two snakes.

"So, Mr. Skywalker, how do you like the show? This is the big time, eh?"

"Oh, Mr. Skywalker, we are so honored to see you here to celebrate the premiere tonight. Are the seats to your liking?"

"The seats were just fine, thanks."

Stanley Motss, the younger and sleazier of the two theatre producers, fawns over Anakin and his wife. He takes notice of Isabel's pregnancy.

"That's just great! …and the lovely Mrs. Skywalker. My, aren't you a vision of loveliness? You are absolutely glowing. When is the blessed event?"

He looks at Anakin, neglecting the fact that Isabel is still standing with them. Anakin answers.

"The _'event'_ is less than two months away."

Mind if I…" He extends his hand to touch her.

Isabel is immediately offended. She steps back in protest.

"No."

Anakin smiles sheepishly.

"She's shy." He pulls her close by his side.

Abner Kravitz smiles as he puts his hand on Anakin's shoulder. Anakin looks. Abner quickly removes it.

"So, Anakin, what do you think of the performance?"

"It was unbelievable."

"It makes you want to jump out of your seat, doesn't it?"

"Sure does. There were plenty of moments when I couldn't stay in my seat. I felt compelled to get up."

"How about that dog? Talented little mutt, eh?"

"Yeah, I didn't know you could teach a dog to shoot."

"It was the director's idea. He wants the ending to be different each night. Sometimes the actor portraying the rancher performs the deed, sometimes the wife or the kid. It keeps the audience guessing. We're so glad we managed to negotiate a new contract with your father for an extended run. The deal almost fell through until we promised him a blaster-proof vest. We still have a problem with assassins in the audience. He made a big fuss about it but we squared everything with him."

"Good to hear."

Stan Motss chimes in with a comment as he holds a glass of champagne. It is obvious he is drinking too much because he talks about things he shouldn't. The men almost forget Isabel is still standing with them as they speak in a hushed but excited tone.

"Abner's a great negotiator, Anakin. We're all going to make a _'sithload'_ of money from this show…hand over fist."

Isabel stares at her husband. Anakin purses his lips and plays dumb.

"Is that so?"

"Of course, 'V' Can I call you 'V'? As one of the shareholders, you'll make a bundle! You're a shrewd businessman Mr. 'V' "

Isabel has a knowing smirk on her face as she turns to her husband.

Anakin smiles sheepishly.

"It's really not that big of a deal, Sweetheart. I'm just helping in a small way to keep the performing arts alive in Coruscant City."

Stan Motss senses an awkward moment between the two.

"I didn't step out of line, did I?"

"No…My wife and I have no secrets…Right, Honey?" He hugs Isabel and whispers to himself. "…not _anymore._"

Isabel is about to say something when the lights flash to signal the end of intermission. Mrs. Kravitz has been chatting with some other guests sees the couple. She excuses herself. In a shrill voice she calls over to her husband.

"Ab-ner! I didn't see you over there with the Skywalkers!" She hurries over to greet them. "Mr. and Mrs. Skywalker! It's so good to see you!" she turns to Abner. "Abner, why didn't you tell me? How are those two angels of yours?"

Anakin know exactly where she is going with her questioning. He is coy in his response.

"Oh, Luke and Leia? They're fine. They told us they met you at the Shady Acres Playhouse."

"Oh…them…yes…Lively little duo they are." She is being sarcastic. She recalls how the twins behaved the last time she saw them. "They're fun kids. They enjoy a god time, don't they?" She turns her attention to Isabel, giving her the once over. "Isabella, you look beautiful this evening. I see you're having another baby."

"It's _Isabel_."

"Yes, dear, I know. So, you're on your third child. At the rate you're going, you'll have your own little Jedi Order. However do you manage?"

"Anakin and I enjoy our children. All four of them."

"And soon you'll have five. Well, Isabella, God bless you. Well, at least someone in this crowd is still having sex. Abner is never around…"

"I'd better get going. I don't want to miss the second act. Bye!"

"See you at the premiere party, Graziella."

Isabel catches up to her husband. Anakin takes her by the arm. He is smiling.

"She got your name wrong?"

"Yes. I feel like strangling that witch!"

"You're so cute when you get angry at other people." He playfully nudges her.

"Oh, you're not out of the woods yet. This is not what I had in mind for a night on the town."

Anakin quickly changes the topic when he sees someone waving to him.

"Oh look, honey! There's Lando and his wife Tendra Risant."

Lando works his way through the crowd in the VIP room. Anakin meets him halfway pulling Isabel behind him.

"Hey Lando! Glad you could make it. Tendra, how are you? Lando never brings you on his trips to Coruscant. You look gorgeous. Where are you two sitting?"

"Up on the box. Why didn't you take the box seats?"

"No particular reason."

Lando smiles and walks over to get a good look at Isabel.

"Is that our beautiful Isabel behind you, Anakin? Isabel, you are a vision of loveliness as usual. Tell this old sith to keep his hands off you and give you a rest."

Anakin shrugs.

"She's crazy about me."

Lando kisses Isabel on the hand. She hugs Tendra then speaks to Lando.

"Hello, Lando. Sooo, you have a share in this stage disaster too?"

Anakin steers her towards the door to return to their seats.

"The curtain is going up any minute now. Lando and Tendra have to get to their seats. Tendra, Lando, we'll see you at the premiere party."

When they return to their seats, Isabel grabs the playbill from her husband and hits him with it. They sit through the second act. During the shooting scene, Isabel jumps from her seat and applauds. She is soon disappointed, however, when the curtain rises and the cast members take their bows. The old wizard walks out on stage to rejoin his fellow cast members for a final bow. The audience responds with thunderous applause. Isabel was hoping that there was live ammunition in the blaster.

The premiere gala after-party is held at a nearby restaurant. Isabel complains that her feet hurt and prefers to sit at a corner booth on the plush velvet sofa. Anakin is not surprised when he looks down at her feet at the designer sandals with the three inch heels. These are not the type of shoes she should be wearing in her condition but she does have beautiful legs. Anakin smiles and removes the shoes.

"Want me to stay here with you?"

"No. Go."

"Okay."

Anakin gives her a peck on the cheek then walks into the crowd of guests. There is a cluster of people laughing in the middle of the room. Palpatine is surrounded by well-wishers. The actor-sith is decked out in a new tuxedo with a Kevlar vest underneath his shirt. He receives an occasional evil-eye from the cast members. Palpatine ignores their hostile glances when he sees a tall figure standing in the room. He cuts through the crowd to find Anakin chatting with Lando, Lando's wife, Abner and Stan.

"Anakin, my boy! You made it! I saw you in the audience for just a moment during the end of the first act. You look absolutely handsome in that suit. You should dress up more often."

"Thanks. Pop, you know Lando Calrissian and his wife Tendra?"

"Oh, yes…I've admired General Calrissian's work for years."

Anakin and Lando glance at one another and grin. They know the old fart has no idea what Lando does…exactly. Lando decides to have a bit of fun with the self-absorbed actor.

"So, in what aspect of my business are you interested?"

"Uhmm…pardon?" Palpatine cannot answer but something else distracts him, and it is more important than chatting with Anakin's cohorts.

Isabel is relieved to be alone. She is in a quiet corner sitting away from the crowd. She sips cranberry juice and looks at her cell phone. No emergency calls from Threepio. Things must be going well or else the children have tied him up. She misses them. She calls Leia.

"Hi, are you busy?"

"I'm meeting Winter and the gang from school for dinner. Girl's night out. Where are you?"

"At this god-awful opening night event for the _creature_."

"You're 'sithing me! Daddy took you to that play? He only went because the old fossil wouldn't stop nagging him about it. Daddy punishing you? I should have known he would try to drag you down there with him. Did you know you were going?"

"Hell no! It started out as an early dinner. I thought we were going to a nice jazz club or something. Instead I sat for two hours watching that stupid play."

"Want us to bail you out?"

"No. Your father would be upset. You girls have a great time."

"Wait…who's got Li and Alex? …don't tell me…Threepio? That I would gladly come home early for."

"I trust him."

"He was good with me and Luke when we were little. He'll be fine after the initial torture. He's patient with children."

"He is. Oh, well…Enjoy your night out."

"Okay…hang in there."

After the call is over, Isabel checks out the platter of hors d'Oeuvres on the table in front of her. She is as happy as a Naboo clam until a dark cloud sweeps over her.

"Isabel! There you are! You're all alone over here. Let me keep my favorite daughter-in-law company."

Isabel looks up and grumbles to herself. _'Oh, 'sith'_.

Palpatine slides into the booth next to her and gives her a big smooch on the cheek. Anakin turns in the crowded room and glances over at her. He laughs to himself. He contemplates saving her from the old coot but he's more interested in how long they will remain at the same table before she makes a fuss.

"So, how did you like the show?"

"I've been to a lot of shows and none compare to what I have seen tonight."

"Oh, how sweet. Thank you. Anakin tells me you're taking a little holiday on Yavin. That's always a nice place for a family holiday. I don't get much holiday time now being that I am in such demand and all. Before that I was working day and night trying to make the galaxy safe for all."

"Maybe you should have spent more time vacationing instead of working."

"I have never been on a family holiday. Perhaps I could take some time off…"

Isabel scrambles to put on her shoes. There is no way on Mustafar Hell is she going to spend a family holiday with the old crow in tow.

"Will you excuse me? I'm going to make a trip to the powder room."

"Why of course my dear. Let me help you up."

Isabel slides out of the circular booth to go in search of her husband. She cannot get to him. The press is interviewing him. Isabel finds refuge in the ladies room. She is pacing angrily.

Agnes Kravitz steps out of one of the stalls. She turns on the faucet to wash her hands then looks over at Isabel

"Enjoying yourself, _Donatella_?"

Isabel wants to kill the woman right now. '_How would Anakin do it?'_ she wonders to herself. Instead, Isabel glances at the woman.

"Oh, hello, _Harriet_."

Several minutes later she decides too return to the table. The old goat must be bored by now. Surely he has found his way pack into the spotlight and is chatting with the press…she hopes.

When she returns to the booth the old man is still there.

"Isabel, sit down. Those shoes can't be good for you in your condition. Come chat with me."

Isabel has to admit to herself that her feet do hurt. She decides to sit down. It looks as if she is stuck with the geezer for awhile. She looks across the room at the reporters and camera crews.

"Aren't you missing your close-up?"

"Oh, it's alright. They spoke to me earlier. I'd rather spend some quality time with my only daughter-in-law. So, Isabel, we never get a chance to talk. Why is that?"

She gives him a blank stare.

"Oh never mind, I know. Listen, I want to make amends for my atrocious behaviour during the past three years…ten years…ohhh, alright! The past twenty-odd years! Stop looking at me that way! I'm a new man. I know what I did was wrong but everyone's happy now. Being forced into retirement makes a man think long and hard about how short life is and that family is everything. Can you see it in your heart to forgive an old man?"

"Where did you get that speech, from an old movie?"

"Bits and pieces…yes. Was I convincing?"

"No. But I admire your persistence. You're a real pain in the ass."

On the way home Anakin tries to explain.

"Isabel, I never invited him. He sort of invited himself."

"Why did you tell him at all?"

"I'm sorry. We just started talking and I let it slip."

"I can't talk to you anymore."

"You know…he is trying…"

"Well you trust him more than I do."

When they arrive home Li-An and Alex are still awake. It is half past ten. Threepio nervously explains to Anakin and Isabel.

"I am so sorry, I failed you Master."

"It's okay, Threepio. I'm sort of glad they're still awake. My wife and I will take it from here. Thanks."

"Good night Master Ani, Goodnight Madame Isabel."

"Thank you, Threepio, Goodnight."

Anakin walks into the nursery bathroom. The tots are sitting in the bathtub looking up at their parents. Each child has his hair soaped up and twisted into bantha and tauntaun horn shapes. Anakin almost laughs.

"Hi Daddy. Hi _Maamee_."

Isabel smiles at them. "Hello, my little angels."

Anakin looks

"Hi. It's late, why aren't you two in bed?"

"We wanted to stay up for _lou_."

"Did you behave for Threepio while we were gone?" Anakin rolls up his sleeves and sits on a bench near the tub and rinses their hair.

"Yes." Li-An looks in the bathtub mirror at his hair. "Hey! Dad, _lou_ wooined my banfa horns."

"I'm sorry, Li, but it's late. Alex, don't start. Let's go…move it."

Anakin grabs the children from the tub and takes them into the bedroom. Isabel helps him get the tots into their pajamas. Anakin reads a bedtime story.

"A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... Turmoil has engulfed the Endor forest. Someone was breaking into houses and stealing bowls of porridge and blue milk. The papa Ewok said, _'No one had better break into our house. We've got ray shields installed. Isn't that right, little Ewoks?' 'That's right, Pop!' _ said the two baby Ewoks. The mother Ewok grabs her designer purse and heads for the door. _'Hurry up, Dear. Hurry my baby Ewoks. We must get to the boutique for the 1-Day sale!'_

Li-An and Alex giggle. Li-An looks inside the book.

"Dad, that's not what it says."

"Yes it does…don't interrupt…and the family of Ewoks went shopping. Papa Ewok became very bored and fell asleep on the sofa outside the fitting room while the two little Ewoks were busy getting into trouble... Finally they all returned home to find Tweedle-Luke and Tweedle-Leia still sleeping in the beds and eating up all their food, and entertaining their rowdy scoundrel friends. Papa Ewok gave up and went to his study foe some relaxation and solitude. The End."

_To be continued…'Beach Baby, Beach Baby There on the Sand'_

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_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this heart wrenching story of rebirth and forgiveness.**_

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	118. Chapter 118 Trip to the Beach

_Chapter 118 _

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''_Beach Baby, Beach Baby There on the Sand' _

'_Sith By My Side: Old Yeller Takes a Holiday'_

'_Preparation for Liberation Day: Entrusted Twins'_

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A few weeks have passed. Anakin and the family travel to Yavin 4 for a final vacation before the arrival of the new baby. Luke and Leia fly in separately due to some prior commitments.

They weren't planning to come but when Anakin mentions the words _'Free'_ and _'Bring a friend'_; they hopped on the Skywalker invite faster than a Mustafar Lava flea on a stalagmite.

Anakin and Isabel are already on the beach with the little ones. Isabel relaxes in a beach chair under an umbrella. She has just lathered the children with sunscreen before they take to the water. The children are wearing only t-shirts. They giggle as the waves roll in up to the shoreline and cool their feet. Li-An makes imprints in the sand with his bright blue rubber beach sandals.

Anakin helps the boys collect seashells. Alex has his pail and shovel. He fills it with anything he can find. A poor little crawfish has the misfortune of getting caught in the grip of the toddler's small hands. Alex is more fascinated by the creatures than afraid. Anakin gently takes the critter and releases it back into the water.

This moment reminds Anakin of Luke as a child. It was his first trip to the beach with the twins. Alex is a lot like Luke. He was quiet but fearless. Li-An is more like Anakin, fearless, vocal, and at times stubborn.

Anakin smells the fresh salt sea air and glances back at his wife. Isabel is wearing a turquoise two-piece swimsuit. Her sunglasses cover her eyes as she flips through a home and leisure magazine and sips Bimmisari Red Iced Tea. She occasionally glances up to watch her husband and children play. Anakin smiles. She is eight months pregnant and looks beautiful.

And it is a beautiful day. They have a great spot on the beach and the children are having a good time. Isabel opens up her magazine again content that the children are alright. After flipping through a few pages, something horrible interrupts her reading pleasure. Her moment of peace is ruined or, as Li-An would say,_ 'wooined.'._

"You know, Isabel, I'm glad I took this holiday. I was absolutely exhausted. My, my, this is the life! This iced tea is delicious! It's so refreshing. I bet I could make one bombastic commercial that would knock the socks off the ad agency and consumers. With my suave demeanor and, of course my fame, I could make the Bimmisari Tea Company billions in sales."

Isabel wishes he had one of Luke's E Pods right now to drown out the old sith's ramblings. If she had to listen to_ 'Blah blah blah…me….blah blah blah…artist formerly known as Emperor… blah blah blah…they want to assassinate me because they are jealous of my talent and fame,' _she was going to whack him across the face with a piece of driftwood. She looks at him over the rims of her sunglasses then rolls her eyes. He continues his rambling and never notices.

The old fart is wearing a navy beach shirt with big fluorescent green and yellow tropical flowers printed on them and baggy matching swim trunks. Spindly pasty sith legs stick out like badly twiddled wood. Isabel wrinkles her nose. Yuck!

Alex makes his way over to where his mother is sitting as Anakin and Li-An finish their shell collecting and take to the water on the new boogie board. It was a gift from Luke when Li-An turned three years old. Li-An nags his father constantly since receiving it. Anakin promises his son that they would take it to the beach soon. Anakin guides his son on the board and Li-An proves once again that he is a fast learner on his maiden voyage.

As he paddles further out into the water, Anakin is impressed but maintains a watchful eye. Alex also proves to be an excellent swimmer but Anakin considers him too young. Alex does not mind. He is content to play close by his mother.

Alex passes Palpatine's beach chaise. The old creature smiles at the child and leans over to peek in the little beach pail. He has a long way to go to shake that sinister sith grin of his. That face and shock of white hair can traumatize a small child or animal.

"Alex! Come closer and show grandpa what you have in your pail."

"No."

Alex stares at the old man. He is wary of the vacation intruding old grand dad. The small child cautiously works his way around the chaise until he reaches his mother's chaise on the right. He could have walked up the middle between the two chairs, but why take chances?

She takes his pail and sets it close to the chair. She lifts her child onto her lap then begins to examine the seashell collection with him. Palpatine watches like a kid left out of a game of tag. He desperately wants to be_ 'it' _just to say he was chosen.

Isabel lifts her sunglasses, setting them on her forehead. She finally relents and encourages Alex to interact with the old coot.

"Alex, show him the beautiful seashells you found, sweetie."

Isabel sits up and swings her legs to the side of the chair. She keeps Alex on her lap as she faces Palpatine's chair. Grandpa sith notices the child is not wearing a diaper under the little t-shirt.

"Is he potty trained? Aren't you afraid he will have a little accident?"

"Alex does not have little 'accidents.'

Alex selects a shell and holds onto it. Palpatine reaches out and takes it. Alex watches carefully as Palpatine handles the shell. The child holds onto his mother. Palpatine is overjoyed that the toddler plays with him.

"Alex, this is one of the best seashells ever! You have impeccable taste. May I have a shell to keep as a souvenir?"

Alex, at first nods' Yes,' then immediately changes his mind and nods an emphatic 'No.' He reaches out for Palpatine to return the shell. Alex makes certain the old sith does not add _'dirty rotten seashell thief'_ to his list of despicable deeds.

After Li-An finishes his time on the water. His yellow surfing trunks are dripping wet. Anakin calls Alex to join them to play in the sand. Alex starts to walk towards his father. Palpatine waves to him.

"Bye-Bye, Alex."

Alex turns to make sure the old sith does not steal his pail of sea treasures. Anakin decides to walk over to get Alex. He makes his way over to where Isabel is sitting and scoops up Alex.

"Hey, little man, what's taking you so long? We're going to build sand palaces."

Alex proudly points to his pail.

"Daddy, look. Seesows."

"Nice. We'll leave that with mom, okay?" He walks over to Isabel. "Hey, woman, what up?"

Isabel smiles at his silliness. He leans over and kisses her. Li-An runs over.

"Maamee, did you see me in the water?"

"Yes, sweetie, you looked great out there. I'm proud of you. Come here so I can apply more sunscreen on you."

Anakin laughs as he nudges Li closer to his mother.

"Li, go to your mother so she can butter you up like a Befana Eve goose. She loves applying that stuff. After you get a good coating of sand, you'll look like a Bantha MosNugget." Li-An laughs. Anakin looks over at the white corpse sitting on the chaise next to his wife. "You're going to bake out here. Are you wearing sunscreen, old guy?"

Li-An giggles and parrots what his father says.

"Old guy…heheh!" His mother pats him dry with a towel before reapplying sunscreen.

Palpatine looks up at Anakin.

"Miss Bunny gave me some age-defying cream."

"Why don't you use it?"

"I am using it!"

Anakin almost laughs.

"Oh. So, you two ladies are having a nice chat?"

Palpatine ignores Anakin's insults. He is just grateful to be on his first 'family' holiday.

"Isabel and I are getting on splendidly. Aren't we, Isabel?"

"Sure," Isabel responds flatly as she puts a pair of swim shorts on Alex.

Li-An laughs.

"Are you a lady, grandpa?"

"Your father has a warped sense of humour. Ignore him."

Anakin gathers the children. She makes Anakin lean over so she can apply sunscreen to his face.

"Isabel, enough with the sunscreen. Come on, kiddies, let's build a sand palace."

"Fine, go ahead and burn."

As the children busy themselves in the sand, Anakin sees someone walking on the beach towards them. Li-An looks up. He is excited and drops his sand sculpture tool and stands.

"Luke! It's us! Come here!"

Luke runs over to the children, drops his duffle and hugs his brothers. Alex holds onto a small shovel as Luke scoops the two tots in his arms.

"Hey, little guys! Enjoying the beach?"

"Yes. Come play!"

"I intend to. Li, did you get a chance to use your new board?"

"I can swim '_weely'_ far. We're building a sand palace! Come play with us."

"Cool! I will in a minute…oh, hi Dad."

"You finally decided to join us?"

"Yes, I am. We were on our way but Mara got hungry so we stopped at the 'Crab Shack' to get lunch."

"You couldn't wait an hour? We were going to stop for lunch. When does that girl not eat?"

"Never. So, I see you're all settled. Where's Isa- What the 'eff'…Oops…sorry." He remembers that he is in the presence of impressionable children. "Is that who I think it is and not a mirage?

I thought you were joking."

He nods in the direction of the beach chairs when Isabel and the _'Great White'_ are sitting. Anakin smiles as he looks in the same direction as Luke.

"Yes. And it's not a mirage."

"That is hilarious. I'm sure she's really thrilled."

"They seem to be getting on well."

"Dad, she can't stand him."

"I think he's starting to grow on her. She's warming up to him…a little."

"Dad, that is one thing Isabel does not want to_ 'grow' _on her. I'm surprised she's still speaking to you."

"She told me I was going to burn in hell for doing this to her but I know she doesn't mean it. It's the pregnancy talking. Isn't she cute?"

"Well, Dad, it's been nice knowing you. Any final words you want me to say at your wake?"

"Very funny. So, where is the _'wild girl of your dreams'_?"

"She's on her way. Leia and Han just arrived so she decided to chat with them on the drive over from the Yavin Spaceport."

"Oh, man, she's in the speeder with Han? Han and two yapping chicks? I almost feel sorry for the pirate."

Han, Leia and Mara arrive on the beach. Han is carrying a beach tote for each girl. They see Anakin and the children immediately and walk over to them. Alex leaps in Leia's arms. She smothers him with kisses.

"Hello, my little angel. Are you building a sand palace? Great job, Alex."

Li-An looks up at his big sister.

"I helped him."

"Well you certainly are a good big brother."

Li-An nods an emphatic _'Yes.'_

"I am."

She puts Alex down. After chatting with her father, Leia starts to head for the beach chairs. She sees Isabel first and waves; then she sees the creature. She whispers to Han.

"Oh crap!"

"What?"

"Land shark straight ahead at two o'clock."

"You're 'sithing' me!"

"Look!"

"Oh brother, your father wants to annoy everyone today."

"He just doesn't want to deal with him alone."

"In a way I kind of feel sorry for your dad. He's got to carry this burden alone. I can understand why he invited us. We're good company. You're right. He doesn't want to be alone with him. I don't even talk to my family. Your father has guts."

"Han…about that…we need to talk. How bad can your family be that we can't visit them?"

"Let's not have this discussion now. We're on holiday."

"Fine but I'm not going to let you get away with this." She grabs her tote from him.

"I know."

Leia turns to glance back at her younger brothers playing. It's so wonderful to feel like a child again out here on the beach. Those were some of the best times of her life. She is smiling as she leaves Alex and Li-An to their masterpiece.

She looks at the beach chairs. After a brief pause, she finally walks over to the occupants. She smiles when she sees Isabel and greets her with a warm embrace.

"Look at you! You look absolutely adorable in that swimsuit."

"You think so? It shows off my curves, doesn't it?"

They laugh. Isabel is anxious to wear normal-fitting clothes again. The two chat for a few moments. Leia is biding her time before she has to deal with the 'sand shark.' She sets her tote on the chaise to Isabel's right. She then lets out a sigh. Leia wishes she had ordered a strong drink back at the 'Crab Shack'. Now she has to make conversation with Grandpa _'It'_ in the next chair.

"Hey, 'Casper', what's up?"

Palpatine 'acts' surprised to see her standing there. In actuality, he has been waiting for his lovely granddaughter to acknowledge him since she walked over.

"Oh, Leia! My dear girl, what a lovely surprise. How are you?"

"Just dandy. How's fame on the dark side?"

"You know, Leia, being a celebrity is a lot more difficult than being Emperor. You have no idea."

"Hmmm…I guess not. So, how did you get here?"

"I was deposed. You're aware of that."

"No! Not that! How did you get here…on Yavin 4?"

"Oh! Your father picked me up."

"Oh. So, did the show close while you're away?"

"No…"

"Well, who's your stand-in while you're playing 'theatrical hooky'?"

Back in Coruscant, Palpatine's understudy rehearses his lines a few hours before the evening performance.

'_Now and then, for no good reason, life will haul off and knock a man flat.'_

"Now, can you read that line again but with more enthusiasm?"

'_Now and then, for no good reason, life will haul off and knock a man flat.'_

The director is becoming frustrated with the first-time understudy. He cannot believe he is forced to use him. He's not even an actor. Then again, he really didn't have to pay him much and no other self-respecting actor would take the role. Besides, he was guaranteed a great reaction from the audience because everyone loves to hate a lazy, whiney, ex-con drug addict!

"Okay…Elan let's start again …with more feeling please. If you're a narcoleptic, snap out of it. Are you on medication?"

"I'm in rehab. I haven't been able to score any drugs for weeks."

The director murmurs to himself

"Hmmm…that should make for an interesting performance."

Meanwhile, back on the tropical paradise of Yavin 4, Leia is engaging the old sith in conversation. She notices his beach attire.

"Sooo…where did you scare up the threads?"

"Coruscant Men's Warehouse in the cruise wear department. My valet and I went on a shopping spree. I found this and a few other outfits. I love the fabric. It's so breathable. Feel it."

He holds out his arm for Leia to touch the sleeve of he shirt. She does not want to touch it.

"I just put sunscreen on during the drive over. I believe you."

She sees Isabel hiding her face behind a magazine. Isabel is laughing quietly. Palpatine is oblivious and just smiles. Leia bites her bottom lip then starts to walk back to her chair. The old sith stops her.

"Leia, dear child, sit next to me. I haven't seen you in awhile. Tell me what you've been doing since finishing graduate school." He leans over and taps on the chair. "Please, I implore you. Sit and chat with me."

Leia grumbles to herself.

"Oh, _'sith' _he's got to be kidding."

"What was that, dear child? I didn't hear you."

"Oh, nothing."

Leia does not want to sit with the old beach corpse. She sighs then plops herself down on the extra chaise. Her oversized white cotton gauze shirt covers her knees. She digs her heels in the sand. Palpatine turns towards his granddaughter.

"So, Leia…Tell me how you spend your days."

"Oh, you don't want to hear about me. You're busy reading your trade magazine. I'll just go over there" She points to the chair next to Isabel and starts to get up.

"Oh, this can wait. I always have time to spend with my little rebellious angel. Sit…so tell me. What's been going on with Leia?"

All this time, Isabel is watching from the comfort of her chair. She cannot wait to hear what Leia will tell him. She's curious too because Anakin doesn't even know what Leia is up to on any given day. Not always. Palpatine waits and listens.

"Well…if you must know…I start out my day going to my intern job at the family community center, then I go to meet my friends Winter, Callista, and Rocca for lunch. We usually sit at the tables in the park; you know the side where all the construction is going on? Well, then we check out the cute guys at the Coruscant Towers construction site. Of course we would never cheat on our boyfriends, but it's fun to wait to see if they notice us…and they usually do and we call out to them and stuff. It's like …when they make cat-calls to women passing by? Well we turn the tables on them and then…their faces become red from embarrassment so it's really funny. Then we go shopping later…"

"You shop with these strange men?"

"What? Heavens no! Pay attention…Then my friends and I sometimes do a little shopping or go for a bikini wax, which is what I did this week because I knew I was coming here. But usually my day ends when I meet up with my boyfriend and we have dinner before driving to his place for some hot monkey sex."

Leia flashes her most demure smile when she is done talking. Palpatine is absolutely speechless. Isabel pretends to be asleep when she hears Leia's semi-fictional account of her personal life. Isabel tries not to laugh. Palpatine, on the other hand, finally breaks his gaze. He turns back into his semi reclining position in his chair, quickly grabs his Intergalactic Equity News, and resumes reading. He regrets asking her anything. Either she is being lead down a horrible path by her friends or she is being the bad seed he always new she was as a child.

Just as he straightens out his newspaper to read, a ray of sunshine and a new hope appears and sits quietly beside Leia. The old ghost smiles and puts down his paper.

"Luke! My boy! How are you?"

"Hey, Palps, what's up?"

"Not much. Your sister has been sitting here keeping me company. She was just leaving."

"I was just telling him what I've been doing lately."

"I bet you were."

Palpatine is eager to dismiss Leia.

"Leia, you can run along now. I want to chat with my handsome hero grandson, the Jedi Knight."

Luke is shocked. Palpatine usually has no love for the Jedi and less interested in their activities now that he no longer has any powers.

"Palps, you're really interested in my Jedi activities?"

"Of course I am, son. I was so closed-minded before but now I have respect for all the good and selfless work you men and women do in the Jedi Order. Your sister has renewed my interest.

"Gee, it's great to hear you say that, Palps."

"So…tell me Luke; what wonderful things have you been doing for the galaxy lately?"

Leia is still sitting on the side of the chaise with her brother. She turns to Luke with a smirk on her face.

"Yes, tell us, Luke. We're dying to hear all about your adventures."

Palpatine is annoyed that Leia is still there.

"Leia, you had your turn. Be considerate of your brother. Run along, dear."

Leia grabs her purse and gets up. Luke smiles up at his sister and makes a face. She snubs them and walks away.

She settles down on the chaise next to Isabel's. She sees Isabel hiding behind the magazine.

"I saw you laughing your head off as I was talking to the old skurrier."

"You and your brother love to torment him. I think it's hilarious."

"I figured sooner or later he would get tired of me. Was I shocking enough?"

"Absolutely."

They both giggle.

Palpatine smiles back at Luke. He prepares to listen to his grandson, the 'golden boy.'

"So, Luke, you were saying…"

"Uhmmm…oh…well…it's really no big deal. I get honor's plaques every time the Jedi Council gives me a review…"

"Well, Luke, that's wonderful. You deserve every single one of them. You come from a long line of exceptional public servants."

"Like who?"

"Uh…well, your father of course…then me…oh, never mind…tell me about '_You'_. This is your time to shine."

"Oh, it is? Well…ok…uhm…Yeah, my life is pretty sweet right now. By the way, I'm also competing in the Intergalactic Surfing Competition on Kashyyyk…"

"What?"

"Mara's going with me to cheer me on…that's cool…she's interested in trying out a nude beach there. She has a hot body…"

As Luke goes on about surfing, chatting about his on-again off-again girlfriend and nude sunbathing, Palpatine turns paler than he already is. Leia and Isabel giggle uncontrollably as they listen to the conversation. Isabel is having the best time since her arrival. She is glad that she is no longer alone with the old man.

The old man cannot bear to hear anymore. The twins have disappointed him. He does not realize that Luke and Leia are playing with his head and only part of what they have told him is even true.

Han joins the group. He has not seen Isabel for awhile. He takes one look at her then shakes his head with pity.

"Isabel, you poor thing. He side-swiped you this time."

"I didn't see this one coming."

"Someone has to put a stop to his madness. Ever consider a stun gun?"

"I couldn't do that to him. He's my husband. I love him."

Han looks over at Luke and Palpatine and nods his head in their direction. "What's going on with them?"

"It's a bonding session."

"Ewww…"

Meanwhile, Palpatine tries to put an end to the conversation with Luke.

"That's…that's fascinating, Luke. You're full of surprises."

"So, you're done with me?"

"I'm going to catch up on my Retired Galactic Leader Monthly newsletter."

"Oh, okay…you should go for a swim. The water is great."

"Perhaps I will. Thank you, Luke." He sees Anakin and the younger children return from building their sandcastle. "Oh, Anakin, you're back." He sees Mara with him, she has been helping Li-An and Alex with their sandcastle. "Hello, Mara."

"Hello, Sir."

"How's your family?"

"They're fine, thanks. My crazy uncle has a shirt like that."

"Really?"

"Yeah, they let you wear whatever whacky clothes you want in the insane asylum. Hey, Lu, want to go for a swim?"

"Yeah." He stands and looks at the old man. "Are we really done?"

"Yes."

Luke walks off with Mara as Anakin takes a seat on the chaise. Li-An and Alex walk over to their mother. Anakin looks at Palpatine.

"I saw you chatting with the twins. That was nice."

"You have no idea. Anakin, have you any idea what your children are up to?"

"Why? They're adults. They will be officially emancipated soon."

"You and Ruwee are releasing their trust fund?"

"Yes. It's time."

"Personally, I think it's a big mistake."

"Well, they aren't your children, are they?"

"You never had a trust fund. Look how you turned out."

"Yeah…look at me. Don't say another word or I'll toss your pasty body into the ocean." Anakin stops and looks over to his right where Isabel, Han and Leia are sitting. Leia lifts her arms and removes the swimsuit cover-up she is wearing. When she stands, he sees what she is wearing underneath. It is and olive green crocheted bikini with a sheer back on the bikini bottom. Anakin's mouth drops open.

As Leia drops the oversized shirt cover-up on the chair, she sees her father's face. Isabel sees his face too. Anakin remembers that he can speak and does.

"Leia, may I see…speak to you for a moment please?"

"What for?"

"You know what for!"

She rolls her eyes. Han waits for her. Leia walks over to her father's chair. _'Old Pappy Yoakum'_ puts down his paper to listen to what Anakin has to say. Leia puts her hands on her hips.

"What is it, Daddy?"

"Why can't you ever wear a decent bikini that will make me proud?"

"Oh…so this is about you being proud?"

"When you travel with me. Yes."

"Well, for your 4-1-1, if you recall, I am emancipated, which means you no longer have a say in what I wear."

Palpatine chimes in.

"You know, Leia, there are so many swimsuit choices available, I don't see why you had to buy that one. Listen to your father. It's too revealing for my taste."

"For your taste? Just finish reading your paper, _Casper."_

Anakin wags his finger at his daughter.

"Don't disrespect your grandfather."

Palpatine nods in agreement.

"That's right, Leia. Control yourself."

Anakin turns to him.

"Don't you tell my daughter what to do, old man!"

"You tell him, Daddy."

"I'm not through with you, young lady!"

"Listen, Daddy, you have enough on your plate to spend time riding my ass about what I wear on the beach."

"Your choice of words is totaling inappropriate."

"Wah wah wah wah! Oh cut it out."

"Hey, Solo, how could you do this to my daughter? I should kick your ass"

Han lifts the sunglasses he is wearing and turns to the annoyed dark lord of the beach.

"Oh, here we go again. Now you're getting nasty. I just knew you couldn't get through the day without bothering me."

"You knew what you were in for when you agreed to come here. Look at her! She might as well be naked! Leia, you're killing me…you're absolutely killing me."

"Daddy, can we '_not' _have this discussion on the beach?"

"Yes we 'can' have this discussion on the beach. We can have it on Endor, we can have it on Bespin but we'll have it!"

"Have what?"

"Have…what were we taking about?"

Leia grins then swings her head around. Her ponytail flips over her shoulder as she turns away from him and grabs Han by the hand. The couple heads for the water. Anakin looks around. He is confused.

"What just happened here?"

Palpatine glances at Anakin then continues to read his newspaper.

"You're losing them, Anakin."

"Oh shut up!"

Isabel holds her magazine so the two men don't see her laughing. Li-An and Alex are sitting in the sand next to her chair playing. Suddenly she feels someone leaning over her breathing.

"Scooch over, Shamu. I felt you laughing at me over there."

"If you came over here to call me names, you might as well go right back where you were sitting."

"I apologize….aren't you going to respond?"

"No. Apology '_not'_ accepted, you big baby."

He reaches over and touches her hair then kisses her gently on her cheek. Alex and Li-An play with a few other small children they meet on the beach. Anakin looks back at the old creature who is busy reading the dailies and checking the reviews of his show. Palpatine wonders how his understudy is doing. Anakin starts to laugh. Isabel puts down her magazine.

"What's so funny?"

"Did you check out that beach outfit he's wearing?"

"Oh, the Felucia Rainforest print leisure outfit?"

"It's the ugliest 'effing' thing I've ever seen."

"Why don't you tell him to go into the water for a swim?"

"I've never seen him go into the water. He might melt."

"Push him in."

"I like how you think."

Instead of pushing the old wizard into the ocean, Anakin encourages the children to invite the corpse to play with them. All the children on the beach join Alex and Li-An to bury Palpatine in the sand. After he is buried up to his neck, the children disperse. Some return to play at the waters' edge, while others continue to work on the sand palace. He eventually dozes off. Alex stays close to his parents near the 'sith' mound. He takes inventory of his pail of shells. Suddenly there is a disturbance underneath the sand mound. Palpatine bolts upright like a cadaver in a cemetery. Alex screams and throws his pail at Palpatine's head. His treasured _'seesow' _collection is scattered across the sand. Anakin sits up and hurries over to rescue his crying child.

"Are you crazy? You enjoy scaring little children?"

"Honest, Anakin, I didn't know."

After everyone calms down, Alex sits with Palpatine as they salvage and count the seashells and deposit them in the pail.

"How many is that, Alex?"

"Fee…four…five…six…_seben…eleben…fuddy-two_…"

Palpatine looks over at Anakin and smiles.

A week onYavin4 is just what the family needed. Anakin spends some quality time with his wife and children, Mara got to enjoy all the crab legs she could eat; and Palpatine gets to experience his first family vacation.

The return home is good for everyone. Artoo, Skippy and Threepio are sent on a holiday of their own. The get to spend the week at the droid spa, getting retuned and shined.

Anakin and the twins have an appointment with the attorneys and with Ruwee Naberrie. They will receive their trust fund. The event is a milestone for Luke and Leia. They will officially become financially independent. It promises to be an emotional and proud moment for all.

The return home from Yavin4 is a short one. Threepio, Artoo and Skippy cheerfully greet them at the door.

"Welcome, welcome, Master Ani. Madame Isabel, you look absolutely radiant…."

"Hello, Threepio. You look wonderful."

"Artoo, Skippy and I had a wonderful time. There was a lovely young lady at the spa that took care of us. What was her name, Artoo? Oh, yes…Dorothy. Sweet girl. She was working her way through school so she could make enough money to get home for the holidays. Oh, Master Luke, so good to see you. Mistress Leia, nice tan…did you get a chance to wear all the bikinis you bought?"

"Ixnay kini bay."

"Ixnay…oh…yes, yes. Understood. But the grammatically correct way to say it is… "

Leia gives him a dirty look. The droid stops talking immediately.

Li-An hugs Skippy.

"Skippy is home! Hi, Skippy!" Luke and his brothers are wearing white Yavin4 polo shirts. Their names are embroidered in green on the pocket. Li-An and Alex have other souvenirs from their vacation such as _'Yavin4 the Tropical Family Paradise'_

Anakin carries a sleeping Alex in his arms.

Luke crashes on the sofa.

"It's good to be home."

Li-An joins him. "It's good to be home."

They sit with their hands folded behind their heads. Luke laughs.

"Hello, are you my shadow?"

"Yes." He looks at his older brother, his mentor. "I'm going to be a surfer like you, Luke. I like going to the beach on Yavin."

"I know. You had a good time, didn't you?"

"I did."

Alex wakes up.

"Where's my _seesows_, Daddy?"

"Relax. Leia put them on the terrace for you. There's sand in everything. We'll clean them off first"

"I have this many seesows…." He looks at his fingers and flashes them at his father."

"Yes, you have a lot of seashells."

Luke jokes. "There were a lot of sea sows on the beach!"

Leia nods. "I saw you and Han making faces. You were horrible."

Isabel sits in a chair near the door. Anakin is still holding Alex as he looks at his wife. They smile at one another. Anakin touches her face.

"What?"

"Anakin, do you feel like going out again?"

"'Bel, you have the worst timing…you know that don't you?"

"Let's just get this over with; I want to see my fee again."

"Luke, Leia, until you sign your emancipation papers, you're going to baby-sit today."

"Oh, okay."

Anakin thought they agreed too quickly. He didn't trust them. But the twins wanted to look after their siblings. Adulthood is becoming a reality and this meant moving on. They had to find a way to stay connected. Leia takes Alex out to the patio to rinse off the seashells. Li-An and Luke stand on Luke's bed upstairs and practice their surfing poses. They adore their siblings. This is a bond that will never be broken.

Across town, Isabel and Anakin stand at the registration desk of 'Nurse McNightmare'.

Anakin and Isabel are quite surprised as they meet with the maternity nurse for the third time. Anakin prepares to fill out the form.

_To be continued…_ 'Emancipation Proclamation Day' _'Isn't She Lovely'_

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_**Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this heart wrenching story of rebirth and forgiveness.**_

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	119. Chapter 119 Isn't She Lovely?

_Chapter 119_

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'_Isn't She Lovely'_

'_Silence Is Golden'_

'_A Sister to Look Up To'_

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The re-match and the face-off 

Anakin and Nurse Ratched stare deep into each other's eyes. Only the desk at the admissions desk separates them. Of all the nemeses Anakin has had over the years, this is his most challenging and worthy opponent.

"Ratched"

"Skywalker"

"That's my name."

"Form please."

"Here's your Form, don't get your bun in a twist."

"You're late. What took you so long?" She hands him the data tablet. "Please answer every question on the data pad and return it to me signed."

"Yes, Ma'm." He starts writing as the nursing assistant takes Isabel's vitals. "What's with the red lip stick? You're going a date while my wife is trying to have a baby?"

"What's it to you?"

"Just making conversation. You look nice. Who's the poor victim?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Yes. Yes I would."

"Well, it's none of your damned business. Fill out the form please…before the day is over." She rolls her eyes and turns away.

Anakin completes the form. After two previous visits, he finally does it the right way. He returns the data tablet and stylus. He waits for her to review the form and to possibly scold him for no good reason. The wicked witch has had it in for him from day one. But this is only one paranoid sith's opinion.

Mildred Florence Ratched has gone through some sort of magical transformation. She is actually looking pretty good for a woman of her maturity. A team of frustrated beauticians must have ambushed her on the way home one night and strapped her to a salon chair. The new, slimmer figure made Anakin realize she is a woman. Before today he thought nurse meant 'other species'. He never thought of her as anything but that. Shocking! Anakin smiles as if he knows a secret naughty secret.

The _'Invasion of the Body Snatchers'_ Nurse Ratched makes some notes on the data tablet. She speaks without looking up at the daydreaming dark lord. She's wearing perfume…the good stuff.

"So…she's not tired of you yet?"

Anakin blinks.

"Nope! She's crazy about me."

"Oh really? In that case, we'll add a psych consult to her chart."

"What? You can't do that. I didn't mean to implicate that she was actually crazy."

"Relax, Mr. Skywalker; it was a joke."

"Oh…ok. You almost had me there for a moment."

"Gee, Mr. Skywalker, you can dish it out but you sure can't take it." She looks over his admissions form then turns it around for him to take another look at it. "Excuse me, Mr. Skywalker, is this correct?"

Anakin glances at his answers. He remembers what he has written and quietly nods his head.

"Yes, it's correct."

"You're a good husband." She waves him away. "Go catch up with your wife."

"Finally!"

As he starts to leave, he hears her call him back in her typical authoritative style. Anakin squints and cringes. So close, yet so far away. _'Crap, what's she going to gripe about this time?'_

He turns back to look at her.

"Yes, Your honor…I mean…Ma'm?"

"Congratulations." She is smiling. It wasn't a menacing, _'You moron, you couldn't fight your way out of a paper bag' _comment. It was sincere. She likes him, she really likes him!

"Thank you."

This is the first time he has honored his wife's birthing plan.

Meanwhile, back at the Skywalker residence, Leia is having a telephone conversation with Nakai and Ouisanne Nor to inform them of the impending birth of a new grandchild. Alex and Li-An want to talk. They clamber for the phone.

"Leia, I want to talk to Nana."

Alex asserts himself and speaks up.

"I want to talk."

Leia tries to speak into the phone.

"Hi, Nana, guess what? Well…not yet. They just left. Where's Grand pop? …oh…What happened to retired life? Oh…he got bored, eh? What happened to all that charity work he's been doing at the Jedi Monastery?...You've got to be joking! He's waiting for Dad?...I can't believe those two…We're fine…the vacation was great. Dad was being Dad… go figure. Alex and Li almost didn't want to come home…Oh, yes; that creature. He dragged his sorry ass along. He gave my father this sob story about being alone and never having a nice holiday. When they get to the beach, Daddy leaves him with Mom. She was so pissed at Daddy. That coward stayed close to the water and played with Li and Alex. Speaking of that, the two beach babies want to talk. Yes, they know about their new 'playmate' they're in denial. Well, here they are.

Alex gets the phone and looks at the receiver. Ouisanne is talking.

"Alex? Hi, Sweetheart…talk to Nana…Alex…."

Li-An tries to take the phone.

"Give it to me, Alex."

"Noooo! Gimme! I want to talk!"

"You're not saying anything! You're wasting the phone!"

A tug of war and crying ensues. The phone drops to the floor. Ouisanne is talking on the other end. Leia picks up the phone.

"Nana, they're both tired after a long trip."

"Leia, why don't we come over and help out? We'll tale the kids out tomorrow. I'm sure Anakin and Isabel will be in delivery for awhile. Everyone at the house needs a break."

"Okay…do it at your own risk."

Anakin and Isabel used different methods to prepare the younger siblings for the new arrival. Anakin would tell them that they were getting a new playmate. Isabel tells them that they are getting a little sister. Li-An reminds his mother that they have a sister. Isabel explains that they will have a little sister to help care for. Neither version affects them. Their life is perfect as it is.

The Force Ghosts occasionally spend time with the children. They prepare them in their own way. A problem occurs when they get a new neighbor in the house across the street. Qui-Gon chats with Li-An in the garden. Unfortunately, only Li-A sees the ghost. The neighbour worries that there s something wrong with the child. She would see the child talking but no one was there. She would peer across the garden to 'observe' these strange activities. She believed it was her duty as a resident in the exclusive neighbourhood.

She immediately runs to her husband to come 'see' what she doesn't see.

"Abner!"

Unfortunately, when she summons Abner to the garden to witness the bizarre sighting, all he sees is Li-An talking to the droids, Luke, Leia or his parents. That busy-body Agnes Kravitz! Of all people to be neighbours to the Skywalkers, it happens to be one of the producer's of Palpatine's show.

Back at the Skywalker household, Leia tries to put her younger brothers down for a nap. Today they will stay home. The family vacation exhausted them. The only ones feeling refreshed are the droids.

Leia intends on visiting the hospital later and asks the droids to baby-sit. Artoo runs and hides and Threepio points out that he has just returned from the droid spa and had a relaxing oil bath, and doesn't wish to ruin his nicely polished exterior. The spa is its' first of its kind on Coruscant. Others are located on Kamino, Bespin and Tatooine.

The Ord-Geonosis Spa for Droids is a wondrous place. It is a chain started by Cybot Galactica, Ltd., and Industrial Automaton after the two corporations decided to merge. The facilities are pristine and managed by technicians trained in droid repair. Threepio, Artoo and Skippy are greeted by their hostess Dorothy. She was working part-time to make enough money to get back home for the holidays. Dorothy adored the droids, especially Skippy who she would carry around in her titanium maintenance basket.

The spa is a lively happy place. A droid could get lost in the heavenly atmosphere there. All of the repair team sing or whistle as they work.

_Ha, ha, ha _

_Ho, ho, ho _

_Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha _

_That's how we laugh the sith away _

_In the merry old land of Ord_

(Skippy's technicians)

_Pat, pat here, pat, pat there _

_And a couple of brand new paws _

_That's how we keep you groomed and in repair _

_In the merry Old Land of Ord _

(Threepio's technicians)

_Rub, rub here, Rub, rub there _

_Whether you're tin or brass _

_That's how we keep you in repair _

_In the Merry Old Land of Ord_

(Artoo's technicians)

_Chip, chip here, chip, chip there _

_We give the fastest RAM_

_That's how we keep your Memory sharp_

_In the Merry Old Land of Ord_

There is a chorus of Pit droids enjoying a bit of fun at the expense of the former emperor. Old parallel adapter pins have been used as darts to toss at the stage poster of the infamous and despised Palpatine. Three of the pin adapters are strategically plugged into the eyes and mouth of the image. The tiny droids continue to sing as they defile the theatre poster.

_Ding-dong the sith is dead _

_Which old sith? The wicked sith _

_Ding-dong the wicked sith is dead _

_Wake up you sleepyhead _

_Rub your eyes, get out of bed _

_Wake up the wicked sith is dead _

_He's gone where the goblins go _

_Below - below - below _

_Yo-ho, let's open up and sing and ring the bells out _

_Ding Dong' the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low _

_Let them know the Wicked sith is dead!_

Threepio, Artoo and Skippy look like new after their makeover. Threepio attends a speed reading class to load new languages into his memory program. Artoo tries out his new techno-adapter gadgets, and Skippy attends obedience class with a computer generated image of his master on the screen as he goes through the drills. He passes with a B-plus (points deducted for not _'rolling over for the Man.')_

Now they are back at home but neither Threepio nor Artoo want to ruin a perfectly good restoration by taking care of the tots. Tiny Pera jelly and Felucia nut butter fingerprints will not touch the finely polished droid exteriors. Not yet. Skippy decides playing in the garden chasing a droid sphere is enough for him. No one to keep the young ones company. It all works out, however. The house is soon quiet and the children are fast asleep.

The concept of a new sibling is lost on the two younger Skywalker children. The changes to the playroom and the nursery have not gone unnoticed. The newly renovated nursery now includes a big bay window and a longer window seat with pastel pink and white striped cushions. The curtains are now billows of white fabric with tiny pink Naboo roses and yellow Felucia daisies painstakingly embroidered on them. The walks have been re-papered ivory with the same strategically-places flowers.

The crib is custom-made from Endor birch. One of the elders in Nakai's lodge built it. The elder has been a close friend of Nakai and his family for years. He is 156 years old but his birth certificate indicates that he is 12 years older. Nakai quips that the old man lies about his age because he is a vain SOB.

The rocking chair has been polished and decorated with new cushions. The room is ready for Skywalker occupant #5.

The baby shower, in honor of Skywalker baby #5 is a blast, according to the women who attended. More subdued than the boisterous ones for Li-An and Alex, this one is held at the Bimmisari Tea Room. Anakin refers to it as 'The chick gab house.'

The theme was 'Pink'. The colour scheme was 'Pink', the music was 'Pink' and Anakin was looking for that 'pink' liquid one takes for nausea. Then cam the _'Ooo's'_ the _'Ahhh's'_, _'that's so sweet'_, _'How precious,'_ and then the _pièce de résistance _blood-curdling squeal of 'That's_ to die for! It's so absolutely, fabulously adorable!' _But none of these topped the one he almost forgot. Something he learned years ago when Isabel helped him all those years ago with Luke and Leia. It was the day he saw the holograph of Isabel as a toddler. Today his mother-in-law does not disappoint, "She's going to be a little doll in this outfit!"

She didn't say _'She'll look like a little doll'_ she says _'She's going to be a doll.'_ Anakin suddenly has visions of his new little angel dressed in frilly attire, incased in a glass display box and set out for display on the foyer table or on a bookshelf…or worse, on some obsessed doll collector's toy shelf. Someone has to put a stop to this madness.

One of Leia's gifts for her soon-to-be born little sister is a tiny pink bikini with a tulle ruffle on the bikini bottom. It can comfortably accommodate a diaper.

Anakin is starving at that silly baby shower. All he had for breakfast that day was a cup of hot jawa and whole wheat toast. There was a pod racing final on the plasma, so he and his cohorts communicated remotely, as usual.

The bird food on the buffet table and those minute-sized tea sandwiches carried around by snooty waiters do not satisfy his appetite. The waiters whisk their way through the crowd of yapping women as if they were on the run from the law. Anakin grabs one of the trays as it passes him. The waiter turns as if to protest. Anakin stares him down.

"Do you feel lucky? Are you ready to die?"

The waiter, realizing he is on the losing end of this confrontation, quickly exits the room.

The baby shower attendees include Leia, Ouisanne, Lara, Leia's cousins Ryoo and Pooja, friends Winter, Rocca, Callista, Sena, and Mara, Aunt Beru, and several of Isabel's friends from grad school, her childhood, her sister's in-law and aunts. The presence of Obi-Wan's old flame Aura and 'Aunt' Bunny made for interesting party conversation. Aunt Bunny gives tips on the art of pole dancing and beauty tips. Aura's gift to Isabel generates another discussion or rather 'shock and awe'. The pink maternity negligee with the crotchless panty made the stuffy, proper ladies from the Bimmisari Tea Society blush and gasp.

That evening when Isabel tells her husband what happened while he was out of the room. His response is _'How inappropriate!'_ and _'Take it out of the box and try it on.' _

That was then.

Back at Coruscant University Hospital, something remarkable happens. A softer, sensitive dark lord.

"How are you doing, Honey? Are you hanging in there? Want some ice chips?"

"Yes, please. Why are you being so nice to me?"

"You're my wife; I love you. Let me rub your back."

"Are you trying to get on my good side so you can pick some stupid name for our baby?"

"Isabel, that hurt. I would never do such a thing." He quickly balls up a piece of paper and tosses it behind him.

Isabel is surprisingly relaxed this time around. The delivery nurse informs them that she will deliver in less than three hours. Isabel does worry about her children. They have just returned from vacation and it is early in the day. This is playtime and she would be home right now. She imagines herself at home in the playroom right now, playing the music to 'Ewok Dance' and joining her young ones in a dance performance.

_If you're a happy Ewok, let everybody know it._

_If you're a happy Ewok, swing your arms and show it_

_Happy, happy, happy Ewoks love to dance and sing! Tada!_

_If you're a happy Ewok, wave your arms left and right._

_If you're a happy Ewok, hop, hop, hop, and turn around, _

_Lift your foot off the ground; Swing from side to side and say, let's all do the Ewok dance. _

_Swing and sway with laughter and cheers, spin around and wiggle your ears, Bow your head and start to prance, let's all do the Ewok dance!_

"Push …Push…push!" Doctor McDaydream _aka_ Doug Ross is cheering her along. "Come on, Isabel. You were in another world a moment ago. Welcome back. Want to join us again?"

Anakin has a silly smile on his face. He knows his wife was having a blissful moment. So blissful, she forgets she is there to have a baby. She has been singing the 'Happy Ewok' song through her contractions.

After their arrival three hours earlier, Isabel and Anakin are officially introduced to their new daughter. She is a tiny thing, with a full head of raven hair like her mother and sky-blue eyes like her father. Isabel smiles as Anakin leans over and kisses his daughter. He takes the tiny bundle in his arms.

The four Force Ghosts appear and smile sweetly at the new little Skywalker. Qui-Gon looks at the others.

'_Isn't she lovely?'_

The birth announcement rings clear through the hallowed halls of the Jedi Temple. It is a joyous day:

Luke, Leia, Li-An and Alex have a new baby sister…

_Ana-Lena Aayla Skywalker_

_Born 16:15hrs_

_6 lbs 2ozs. 19in_

_Coruscant University Hospital_

_Her Proud Parents_

Anakin and Isabel Skywalker

Early that evening Luke and Leia visit the hospital to visit tiny Ana-Lena. Gladys and Uli Jensen are at the house watching over Li-An and Alex.

Luke sits on the bed and chats with Isabel. Leia takes one look at the sister she has always wanted, and tears well up in her eyes.

"Dad?"

"Yes, sweet pea?"

"I know I'm going to be legally independent of you soon, but I'd like to stay around awhile longer…if you don't mind?"

"Of course I don't mind, Leia. That house will always be your home."

"I think it's important for me to stay around for her."

"That's a wonderful idea, Leia. You two can bond…braid each other's hair…read books…"

"I can tell her how to meet boys and give her dating tips, and then we could go clothes shopping."

"You, know, sweet pea…I want to keep her pure and innocent until I think she's ready."

"How long is that, Daddy?"

"When I'm dead."

Leia stares at her father then breaks into a big grin. She waves her hand at him and laughs.

"Oh, Daddy, you're such a comedian."

"Yeah."

_To be continued 'The Twin Emancipation Proclamation Act' 'All About Elan: A Star is Born?' 'When I Grow Up'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**


	120. Chapter 120 When I Grow Up

_Chapter 120_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

''_The Twin Emancipation Proclamation Act'… Less 1700 Credits for Miscellaneous Shenanigans'_

'_All About Elan: A Star is Born?'_

'_When I Grow Up''_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

The proud grandparents stop by the hospital the next morning to visit with their newest grandchild. It is their fourth granddaughter. Nakai and Ouisanne are thrilled. Ouisanne sits in the room holding her new granddaughter. Anakin looks on. He knows the woman can't wait to dress up his daughter. The woman is addicted to fancy clothes. He knows there is a pink frilly dress somewhere in that big designer handbag of hers.

Gladys and Uli Jensen take care of the tots back at the house. Their second visit allows the couple to spend more time with the children.

Alex lets Gladys hold him as she chats with Li-An. Li-An tests the patience of his father's loyal executive assistant.

"Do you wook?"

"Excuse me? Oh, yes, I work for your father."

"How come?"

"I help him get his work done."

"Why are you here?"

"I'm here to take care of you."

"I can take care of myself."

"I don't doubt that. You're a smart little boy. Your father tells me how well you're doing in your classes at the Jedi Temple."

"Alex is going to go to the same school but he has to wait for anudder year because Daddy says he's too young."

"Are you excited about your new sister?"

"Not yet. _Kai Gon_ says it's a normal _face_. He says I'll gawo out of it.""

"Face? Oh, Phase."

"Yes. Why do you wepeet my wuds?"

"Oh, I misunderstood you, Dear."

"I am working on my _'Ars'. _Yoda says I'm getting better. Sometimes I forget to say them."

"Well, you're trying, that's all that matters."

"I know. Hey, what does _'Ooili' _do?"

Gladys remembers not to correct him. She smiles.

"Mr. Jensen is semi-retired. He is busy one day a year. He makes a lot of house calls in one night."

"It sounds like hard wook."

"Repeat after me, Dear._ 'Work'_."

"Wuuk!"

"A bit slower and softer."

"Wooork."

"You're almost there."

"I yoosily get a we-ward when I 'wooork' weelly hard."

"Is that a fact?"

"Yes."

"Who rewards you?"

"Ani."

"I see. What does your mother say?"

"She says I shouldn't get a we-ward for something I'm supposed to do."

"Your mother is a smart lady."

"Yes, I know, but I get more we…we-waw…rewards with, Dad."

"Ahso!" Gladys smiles and claps her hands together.

Uli Jensen is in the garden making the final adjustments on the new swing set that Nakai and Ouisanne bought for the children. It had arrived while the family was on vacation. Li-An hints that he would like to see it set up as soon as his father returns from that hospital with that new person.

Uli walks inside the house wiping some oil from his hands. His thick mane of white hair and beard resemble spun silk. His wire-rimmed spectacles fit neatly on the bridge of his nose. After doing all of this work, there is not one speck of oil or dirt on his clothes. He washes his hands then walks over to Gladys and the children.

"Well, little ones, you now have a swing set."

Alex and Li-An clap their hands and cheer. Li-An looks up at the kindly old man.

"Can we play now?"

Uli leans over and smiles.

"Yes you may!"

Li-An smiles back. He notices the white suspenders Uli is wearing. There are images on them. Eight images in total of an animal Li-An has never seen.

"What's that?" He points to one of the creatures on Uli's right suspender strap.

Uli looks at Li-An from the top of his glasses. Alex wants to see the suspenders too. The children are mesmerized by these images. Uli crouches lower so the children can get a good look at the amazing suspenders. He tugs at the suspender without looking at the creature that Li-An points out to him. He knows which one Li-An is looking at. It is as if each image is different and not a replica of the others. And they are different.

"Oh, this is a special creature. It's a hirsch. It's a tall, proud and powerful animal. You don't have them here on Coruscant."

"Where do you find them?"

"From a faraway place called Lapland."

"Oh."

"Have you two been good this year?" He glances up at Gladys with a sly wink.

"Nana says we're good."

"You're a clever one. Go play on your new swing set."

"Thank you."

"You're quite welcome, Master Li-An."

"Come on, Alex."

Anakin returns to the house after spending the morning at the courthouse in the judge's quarters with Luke, Leia, Ruwee and Jobal Naberrie and attorney's. There are documents to sign. When the Judge reads off the total amount, the twins are stunned. The total trust for each comes to $8,999,300.75 Credits in addition to various properties on Naboo and Coruscant belonging to their late mother, and real estate on Coruscant signed over by Palpatine during his ouster as Emperor.

Luke laughs.

"Excuse me, what's with the odd amount? And what's with the 75 centimes?"

Anakin looks at his son waiting for the next stupid thing to come out of his mouth. Leia echoes Luke's query.

"Yeah, shouldn't this be an even amount? I mean, it's not that we're being greedy. We're grateful, really. This is a lot of money but it's just a strange amount is all."

The judge looks at the twins; she is slightly amused as she had a discussion with Anakin some years ago about this very issue.

"Well, your father and grandfather have agreed to penalize you each for a few transgressions over the past few years…"

"What transgressions?" She gives her father and Ruwee a dirty look. She seems offended. Ruwee speaks up.

"One incident comes to mind…a Plasma ball game you should not have attended…."

Anakin can't help but join in.

"Threatening my secretary…unsuitable boy friends" He bats his eyes at Leia then continues as he stares at Luke. "…illegal use of a credit card, not yours. Use of said card to order pizza…lap dance parties on Bespin…shall I go on?"

He gives Luke a sarcastic 'thumbs up' and grins. Luke waves his hand at his father.

"No. I get it, I get it. You two can't take a joke."

"Neither can you."

"So, you're reimbursing us the money?"

"Hell no! It's going to a charity of your choice."

The judge looks down at her documents to keep from laughing. This is the most unusual trust fund hearing she has ever presided over in years. The twins are truly grateful for the gift but it suddenly seems so final. They sit silently as Ruwee and Anakin sign the document after they have each signed their own names. The room is quiet. The judge speaks.

"Luke, Leia, do either of you have any questions?"

They respond almost in unison.

"No, Your Honor."

"Then this meeting is adjourned. Luke, Leia, congratulations. I wish you both well. You each have become remarkable young adults."

"Thank you, Your Honor."

"Thank you, Your Honor."

After leaving the meeting, Luke chats privately with his father on the steps of the courthouse. Leia is standing at the bottom with her grandparents. She sees her father hugging Luke.

Life has been changing so fast for the both of them. Anakin looks into the eyes of his eldest. His eyes well up. He doesn't see a young man before him. He sees the 5 ½ year old boy in the family room at the courthouse. He sees the little boy who sat with him in the speeder, that first day of school when Anakin had his meltdown and worried he was never going to get it right. He is looking at his best friend.

"I love you. You know that."

"I do. I love you too, Dad"

Leia heads towards them and joins in on a group hug.

"I knew we were worth more to you than money, Daddy."

"You're still treating me to breakfast, right? I mean, you are rich now."

Luke dries his eyes and gives his father a hearty slap on the back.

"How about pizza?"

"Smartass."

Ruwee and Jobal watch as Anakin embraces his newly emancipated progeny. Ruwee believes this is a day for Anakin and his family. He walks over to them.

"Anakin, why don't you have breakfast with your kids? We can do this another time."

"Ruwee, are you sure? You're more than welcome."

"Next time. I couldn't pry them off of you with a crowbar."

The twins say goodbye to their grandparents. Luke and Leia take their father for breakfast at Dex's Diner.

"You kids are rolling in dough and this is where you take me? This dive?"

"You told us not to waste money. Besides, it's the best diner food ever."

They go inside and are immediately met by the owner, Dexter Jettster.

"Hey! The Skywalker's! It's been awhile. What brings you to this part of town?"

Luke smiles brightly.

"Breakfast."

"What an honor. Luke, I see you're fully clothed this time."

Anakin turns to his son _'Tycoon Luke.'_

"What?"

Anakin looks at Dex then back at Luke. Luke shrugs with a stupid look on his face. Leia has a smirk on hers. Dex senses the awkward moment then quickly changes the subject.

"Mel, fix up our friends with the 'Super-Dex Breakfast.'"

Leia interrupts.

"Nothing big. We're sort of in a hurry. We have to get home." She looks at her father. "Remember, we're bringing Li and Alex to the hospital today."

"Oh, right. Nice segue, Leia. So, Luke, why did you need to borrow clothes from Dex?" Just as Luke is about to search for an excuse, Anakin raises his hand. "You know what? Don't answer. I don't want to know. Tell me one day when I'm good and drunk or dead."

As they have breakfast, Anakin looks across the table at the twins. All grown up. He still cannot get over it.

Time has passed quickly. It seems like only yesterday when an angry and frightened little Leia refused to make their first family meal at Ewok Village easy for him. She was vocal and combative. She's still vocal and combative but she does it in his best interest. She adores her father. He is her hero.

Across town, Palpatine arrives at the theatre by taxi. He couldn't find Elan to chauffeur him to his first performance since returning. He arrives backstage handing out cigars to the cast and crew, wavy his hands in the air and basically interrupting the rehearsal.

"Everyone! Attention! I'm a grandfather once again. I have a beautiful granddaughter. I haven't seen her yet of course, but odds are she's a cute baby. I'm going to see her today after the matinee."

The director looks up from his stage diagram.

"You can take all the time you need. We have your understudy."

"My who?"

"You know. Elan…the young spindly-looking guy who drives you around."

'You mean that little twerp? My valet?"

"Yeah…whatever…we cleaned him up. Not bad when you're in a pinch; in fact, he was great!"

Palpatine storms into his dressing room to confront the scene-stealer.

"Why you dirty, rotten, backstabbing, sneaky little twit. You think you're going to steal my show? My limelight? My fame?"

"But the director says I have promise."

"I promise you'll regret you ever betrayed me."

"But everyone says I'm young and daring. You're an old has-been!"

"What did you say?" He gives Elan a threatening glare. Elan looks nervous.

"Well, you weren't around."

"I was on vacation you idiot! It's in my contract."

"Oh. So, boss, you want me to bring the car around after the performance?"

"Please." Palpatine raises his head in haughty fashion and starts to turns away. Just as he does this, Elan, who appears as if he has just taken a beginners' course in method acting cups his outstretched hands and looks wistfully towards the ceiling.

"You know, if nothing else, there's applause... like waves of love pouring over the footlights. I like that."

"Oh, shut up and get my costumes."

The sunny room at Coruscant University Hospital is gradually filling with visitors. Anakin brings Li-An and Alex to visit their new sister. Isabel invites them to sit on the bed. Alex curls up beside his mother. He touches the baby's feet. Li-An is a bit more cautious. Isabel encourages him.

"Li-An, move closer so you can see her. Nice, isn't she?"

"Yes. What's her name again?"

"Ana-Lena."

"Oh." He thinks for a moment. "When are you coming home?"

"Soon. Maybe tomorrow. You can help welcome her when we arrive."

"She's coming to our house?" He peeks inside the soft pink receiving blanket to catch good look at the sleeping newborn.

"Of course. She's your sister."

"How long is she going to stay?"

"She's staying."

Anakin laughs.

"You're going to have fun with her. I promise. You'll have another playmate at home."

Isabel leans over and kisses Li-An and Alex.

"Li, you're in charge when Luke and your father aren't around so you'll have to help your little sister. Okay?"

"Okay. She sure does sleep a lot."

"You slept a lot when you were born."

"Did Luke like me?"

"Yes he did."

"Then I guess she's ok."

Alex chimes in.

"I like her."

Later in the day and throughout the evening, tiny Ana-Lena is visited by four ghosts, maternal grandparents, uncles and aunts, her soon-to-be Jedi Godfather, a lady named 'Bunny', Master Yoda, Beru and Owen, Godmother-to-be Lara, other family friends, and a former Emperor now referred to as 'Old Grandpa-pa.'

Palpatine enters the room to see the newest little Skywalker. He is ecstatic when he first sets eyes on the bundle of joy. Isabel actually relaxes enough to let him hold her. Anakin sits on the bed with Isabel as they watch the silly old sith make a fuss over the baby.

"I was right! She's absolutely beautiful! What a perfect little princess. 'Hello joia! I'm your grandfather! Isabel, you and Anakin have passed on your good looks once again."

Anakin rolls his eyes. "Gee, thanks. All of my children are beautiful."

Palpatine is barely listening to Anakin. He is smitten.

"I think she likes me."

"She hasn't awakened from her nap yet."

Later that night, when everyone goes home, Anakin sits in the rocking chair with his new daughter. Isabel sleeps peacefully in her bed across from him. He rocks his daughter gently and wonders what she is thinking.

**_- When I Grow Up' -_**

_**I get a terr'ble awful ache**_

_**'specially when it rains.**_

_**At first I was a 'fraidy cat**_

**_but now I know it's just growing pains._**

_**Gosh! oh gee! oh can't you see,**_

_**I'll soon be grown up tall,**_

_**So I've got to think what I will be **_

_**when I'm no longer small.**_

**_When I grow up, in a year or two or three,_**

**_Oh, how happy I will be, like the Younglings I will see._**

**_When I grow up  
there's a lot I want to see.  
Like real Ewoks at a tea,  
Near an Endor Forest tree!_**

**_I want to be a Jedi so the children can say,  
Oh, Jedi dear  
we Younglings here  
bring peras today._**

**_When I grow up  
I will get a nice big prize,  
For I'll meet the kind of guys,  
that'll make Dad roll his eyes.  
And if you see  
that you need some company,  
You can call me up and I'll come down  
when I grow up!_**

_**When I am twelve I will look**_

_**Like the picture that I saw in a pretty story book;**_

**_My sister is standing there; she's much taller than me_**

**_She'll wear a dress of ivory lace; they'll call her Princess Leia,_**

**_My father walks her up the aisle, to marry a sabacc player_**

**_My sis will carry a big bouquet, looking happy as can be,_**

**_Everyone was smiling and having lots of fun;_**

_**I wish that I could be like that when I am twenty-one.**_

_**And if you see**_

_**that you need some company,**_

_**You can call me up and I'll come down**_

_**when I grow up!**_

_To be continued… 'I'm Gonna wash that Sith Right Outta My Hair'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**


	121. Chapter 121 The Fontan

_Chapter 121_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_The Fontan'_

'_I'm Gonna Wash that Sith Right Outta My Hair'_

'_Meetings & Mergers'_

'_Come Fly With Me'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Coming-home day is a big event for tiny Ana-Lena. Isabel's mother gets a head-start and inspects the new nursery one last time. Five beautifully handmade dresses hang in the armoire on little hangers. The sixth is a christening gown. A matching bonnet hangs from the hanger by its satin ribbons.

The room includes all the accoutrements necessary and unnecessary for a newborn. Isabel figures it is just her mother's way of participating in making the homecoming special.

The droids await the arrival with subdued excitement. Threepio looks at Artoo.

"This is a very special day, Artoo. Little Miss is coming home. Master Ani is so happy. He hasn't had time to rip out any of my appendages this week. This is going to be different, I promise you."

Artoo listens to his friend then chirps a sarcastic remark. 'Sure it is…give it a few weeks.'

Just about everyone is hoping for a calmer and gentler Anakin. Anakin spends more time with the two younger Skywalkers. He did not want them to feel ignored due to the frenzy revolving around the new baby. During his brief return from the hospital each day, he dedicates some quality time with the boys.

Anakin reads a story from a book that Gladys had given the children last Befana Eve. It is called _'All Jedi Go to Heaven.'_ Alex was afraid that Anakin would never make it to heaven. He tells Anakin he did not want him to be alone in that bad place with the fire and darkness. This upsets Anakin. It breaks his heart to see the pain on his son's face. He does not want his young, impressionable children to think he is a condemned man.

He gets to the bottom of his child's sudden anxiety. Apparently Alex overheard one of the neighbor's nannies gossiping about his father to another nanny in the local playground. The women concluded that Anakin Skywalker was going to hell for sure. They were older women who lived through the horrors in the Galaxy over two decades ago. Anakin knew he had to do something.

At the hospital, Isabel is dressed and prepares Ana-Lena for the trip home. She has company.

'_Ready to get out of this place?'_

"Yes."

'_Wow, I'm going to miss all the fun over the past few years. I speak for all of us when I say this has been one hilarious hospital experience.'_

"Well, Qui-Gon, I'm happy we were a source of amusement for you."

'_Isabel, we're just honored you have embraced us. Alex and Li-An have made us feel alive; and now with little Ana-Lena, the circle is almost complete. We have great plans for her. Aayla especially is excited to take her under her wing. First, the twins, and now the three little ones. You've done a wonderful job with all of them, Isabel.'_

"Thanks."

"So, I take it this is our last visit."

Isabel turns and smiles as she lifts her infant daughter.

"I believe so, Mrs. Ratched."

Nurse Ratched has been stands in the door just as the specter of the Force Ghost dissolves into the air. She walks in and smoothes the receiving blanket so Isabel can place the baby inside.

"I can't begin to tell you what an adventure it has been over the past few years. Your family has surely livened up things here."

'I know it hasn't been easy."

"Well, your family is full of surprises"

"My husband has tortured you. I apologize for that."

"Don't. Actually, he has brought out a part of me that has lain dormant for years. We have become friends; or at least, we have come to an understanding. I have even found myself laughing more."

"Oh, really? Well…"

"So…off you go now. She's a beautiful baby. I think having another girl in the house has changed him."

"Possibly."

"Well, congratulations and take care. A nurse's assistant will take you downstairs. Off you go now."

"Thanks you."

Isabel turns to say goodbye. A nurse's assistant arrives with a wheelchair. Behind the assistant is Anakin. He steps aside to let Nurse Ratched pass. They exchange a knowing smile. Anakin winks at her.

"You know you're going to miss me."

"Mr. Skywalker, the entire maternity wing will miss you."

Earlier that morning Anakin is about to grab something to eat before leaving the house. He had barely eaten anything the day before because of all the excitement over the new baby. Luke is sitting at the breakfast table having his favorite childhood cereal and chatting on the phone to Mara.

Mara is burning Luke's ear about coordinating an important meeting. She had already made an appointment for the rendezvous but she was also concerned that Jonni Faytonni, the waiter on Kashyyyk would arrive in time. This would be his big break. It would also be Professor Higgins's last chance. She had to get her ducks in a row. Luke told her, it was not her place to play match-up with people. Mara wholeheartedly disagrees. She believes it is her calling to make things right.

Leia sees her father walk into the kitchen.

"Daddy, don't leave with an empty stomach. Why don't you sit down and I'll make you something to eat? Okay?"

This stops Anakin in his tracks…or actually causes him to pick up his pace.

"Uhm…No!...I mean no, it's ok, Sweet pea." He pats his stomach and flashes an awkward smile. "I'm driving."

He rushes out of the kitchen and sneaks a pera from the fruit bowl just as he passes the breakfast table. He is gone in a flash. Luke has finished his telephone conversation with Mara and can now enjoy his cereal. It is overflowing in the bowl. He has never quite resolved his 'portion-control' issue from childhood. He does, however, manage a mischievous chuckle between spoonfuls. Leia looks over at him as she flips some overcooked Dewback bacon onto a platter.

"What's so funny?"

"Dad trying to escape breakfast."

"What?" It finally hits her, but not until her father is well inside the parking bay that she realizes she may have been insulted. "Hey!"

The last thing Anakin needs is to wind up in the Emergency Room instead of the Maternity Ward. He did not want to call Coruscant Poison Control from his YUV speeder. He checks the directory on the integrated GPS system. Yes, V-511 has been programmed into the computer.

At the hospital, Anakin holds the baby as Isabel sits in the wheelchair. They bid farewell to the hospital staff just before Anakin secures his wife and new daughter in the YUV. The drive home is uneventful. That afternoon, however, brings a steady flow of friends and relatives into the Skywalker home.

Obi-Wan is the first to arrive with his current par amour Aunt Bunny. Bunny glances at the newborn.

"Aww…she's the most precious little thing. What an angel. Anakin, sugar, you are truly blessed."

"I believe I am. I never expected life to take a turn like this for me."

"Well, you deserve all the good things coming to you."

"Thanks, Bunny."

"So, where is that handsome young son of yours?"

"Luke is cruising around the city with his girlfriend. She dragged him off on some fool mission."

Downtown, Luke is playing chauffeur for Mara's little project. He admires her dedication but he thinks she is going overboard in her efforts to help people.

They wait at the Coruscant Intergalactic Spaceport Arrivals Terminal.

"Do you see him?"

She stands tip-toed in order to see over the crowds of passengers clearing security.

"Relax, Mara, he'll see your sign."

"Do you think I made it big enough?"

"Mara, we had to tie it to the roof of the speeder, believe me, it's big enough. When he sees it, you can tell him you worked on it all by yourself."

The sign is a big 3' by 5' poster board written in Blue and red marker and silvery Mylar streamers attached to the corners. The sign reads:

'_Welcome to Coruscant, Jonni Faytonni. You Rock!'_

Luke tries to step aside as Mara excitedly holds the sign high above her head. It's not that it is embarrassing; well, it is but Luke also wants to avoid being whacked in the face with it. Mara turns in a tight circle so whichever gate their friend emerges, he will surely find them. Luke is able to ignore the other people in the waiting area who look at the sign with great curiosity.

The passengers are coming. Luke and Mara wait with great anticipation. They watch as other families and friends meet the travelers from this flight. Mara sighs wistfully as the arriving passengers thin out. They make their way to air taxis or family vehicles. She remains hopeful but worried.

"Luke, he's supposed to be on this ship…Should we check the arrivals manifest?"

"No…give it a few more minutes. Maybe there's a holdup in customs."

"You can put that sign down, darlin'"

No one tells Mara what to do. She'll box the ears of the big mouth who says this. She turns, ready to fight. She drops her poster at her side.

"Jonni! You made it!" She throws her arms around her favorite waiter.

"Easy now, you'll wrinkle my new threads."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"I'm joking. They aren't new. Relax. How are you two? It's been awhile."

Luke shakes Jonni's hand and pats him on the back.

"Oh, we're fine. How was your trip?"

"Not bad. When I got the call from the 'Red Menace' here that she had someone for me to meet, I was intrigued."

Luke laughs.

"She only bugged me about it a thousand times."

"Well, I'm here. Ready to meet and greet."

Mara smiles and drags her poster with her as the three head outside to Luke's speeder. Jonni turns to her and grabs the poster.

"Now, sweetheart, I know you are so proud of yourself for making that great big greeting card for me but its usefulness has ended. Why don't you just leave it here?"

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. I think everyone in downtown Coruscant knows I'm here now."

"See, Luke, I knew my poster would be effective."

"It sure was, 'Mar.'" He places his arm around her waist and kisses her cheek.

Jonni looks at the two young lovebirds. He is happy for them. Mara dumps the garish poster next to the closest waste receptacle.

Back at home Li-An and Alex sit on the sofa with their mother and new baby sister. The relatives and friends have each had their turn holding the baby and posing for holographs. Isabel finds this quiet moment while everyone else is in the kitchen chatting and laughing. She looks at Li-An.

"Li, can you do me a favor?"

"Yes."

"Hold your sister."

She gets up and makes Li-An and his brother sit close together before placing little Ana-Lena in his arms.

Artoo sets the aperture on his new built-in camera. It's one of the best upgrades he has gotten so far. He can't wait to see what he will get on his next visit to the droid spa!

Anakin will keep copies of this holograph in his study and back at the office. It will always be one of his favorites.

Back at Coruscant hospital, someone is walking to the nurses' station.

"We must stop meeting like this."

"Then who will give the gossips something to talk about?"

"Perhaps you're right. You look quite ravishing tonight, Miss Ratched."

"Why, thank you, Professor Higgins."

"Shall we?"

"Oh, Yes."

Nurse Ratched allows the good professor to help her with her royal blue wrap. She had just changed several minutes before into a black dress with chiffon sleeves. Her no nonsense white nurses' shoes have been replaced by a sensible but elegant-looking pair of black satin pumps. She has Ouisanne, Aunt Bunny and Mara to thank for this transformation. They get into a waiting limousine for dinner and a night on the town.

A few hours earlier, across town and just before show time, the producers Stanley Motss and Abner Kravitz sit at a corner booth with agent George Fields. They are having drinks while waiting for someone else to join them. Mr. Fields looks at the two producers then glances impatiently at his watch.

"So, where is this hot shot? Are we going to sit here all afternoon waiting?"

Stanley takes a sip of his Corellian single malt whisky then speaks.

"I assure you, they will be here. They're probably stuck in rush hour traffic. There is a championship plasmaball game in town."

The renowned agent glances at his watch. Just as he does this, his intended guest arrives.

"I apologize for arriving late. Traffic is really bad on the intragalactic expressway."

Abner Kravitz and Stanley Motss stand and smile. Abner is thrilled.

"I knew they would get here…and here's our 'Little Miss Sunshine!'

Stanley Motss makes the introductions.

"George, let me introduce you to these kids. This is our darling budding little talent scout Mara Jade, her young beau, Jedi knight Luke Skywalker, and last but not least, the person we're all here to meet, Mr. Jonni Faytonni. He just flew in from Kashyyyk today."

George Fields nods and shakes hands with the three. Mara is nervous and filled with anticipation.

"You won't be disappointed Mr. Fields. Mr. Faytonni here is a natural born talent."

"Mr. Faytonni, have you performed before?"

"Well, I haven't actually…not professionally."

Mara feels the need to sell the show business executives on her friend.

"He's funny as hell, Mr. Fields. Jonni, do that bit where you're making fun of me when I place a food order."

Jonni returns a blank stare as Mara smiles and waits for him to do a sample of his humour.

"I'll do it next time you're in a restaurant."

"But we are in a restaurant."

"Next time."

She looks to Mr. Fields.

"He's quite talented really."

"Well, if you're going to make it in this town you'll need an agent. I believe I'll be the best one to represent you."

"But you haven't seen me perform." Jonni is puzzled at first. He sees Mara grin.

"Remember, Luke and Leia's birthday a couple of years ago? It was recorded. I thought you were really good, so a got a copy of the holovid and sent it in as a demo. Mr. Fields wrote back and said he liked what he saw."

Jonni is impressed with the redheaded Jedi.

"My, my, Miss Jade, you you're quite the pitch woman. I'm impressed."

"I have my moments."

"Yes, you do. What's the problem? You don't like me as a waiter?"

Stanley Motss speaks up.

"Mr. Faytonni. Jonni…Can I call you 'Jonni'?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"You're just the talent we're looking for. We can make you bigger than Mon Calamari. Bigger than, Doda Bodonawieedo, The Sith Dimension…I could make you a star."

"Well…that's very kind of you but I'm actually pretty comfortable where I am. Kashyyyk's not a bad place."

George Fields leans in and speaks to Jonni as if it is just the two of them at the table.

"Stan and Abner here want to hire you for their next project. They can guarantee you six figures a year. It can only increase from there."

Without missing a beat, Jonni looks back at the agent and speaks.

"Where do I sign?"

Mara claps like a giddy schoolgirl cheering for her school team.

"Yaah! Jonni, this is going to be so much fun! You'll love it here. You'll love making comments to my friends."

"Well, 'Red Hot', if I take this gig I won't see you that much."

A disappointed Mara is almost speechless. The realization hits her. She may be losing her greatest foil.

"Oh…"

Jonni puts his arm around her.

"…But fear not, my petite red tornado, I'm sure there will be plenty press parties and dinners where I can see you in action. Your boyfriend is apparently still enthralled with you."

"He is!" She kisses Luke on the mouth as they sit at the table. He blushes.

"She is crazy about me."

Satisfied that all is going well, Stanley summons the waiter.

"Great, everyone is happy. Let's order."

Luke whispers to Mara then slowly pulls away from the table.

"I would love to stay but I have some family business to tend to. I need to get home. Mara's very capable…and if she's not, you'll just be thoroughly entertained. I apologize for leaving so early."

Stanley nods in agreement.

"Oh, right, there's a new little member in the Skywalker family. I sent flowers and a gift to your parents."

"Thanks, Mr. Motss."

"No,no,no….call me Stan."

"Ok, Stan."

"Luke, we must get together sometime. I'm thinking about producing a new show about the Jedi Knights. I'm really thinking of a big screen blockbuster. I would love to bring you onboard as an expert technical advisor."

Luke is skeptical and chooses his words carefully.

"Oh…hmmm. I'll check with the Jedi Council and get back to you on that. I would need to get approval first. You know how these things work."

"Sure, Luke. We don't want to tread on any toes, especially Jedi toes. Don't want to get sued…or worse, sliced and diced with those light thingies." He laughs nervously as does Abner. "Have your people call my people."

"I will…I promise. Jonni, congratulations."

"Thanks, Luke. I'll give you a call."

Stanley Motss thinks of something.

"Faytonni…Faytonni….hey, Jonni, are you by chance related to the infamous Tony 'The Cannelloni' Faytonni crime family?"

Jonni takes a deep breath, looks around, and then whispers to himself.

'_Geez, that's why I moved to Kashyyyk."_ He looks at the three men across the table. Mara waits for his answer. He finally speaks. "Why do you ask?"

Stan shrugs it off hoping to change the subject.

"Oh…nothing…just curious…."

"Do I still get a job out of this?"

"Uh…sure! Sure!"

"I mean, after all, I did come all this way at your invitation…"

"Right…right…that's not a problem. We put you up in the best hotel in Coruscant City."

"Oh, you're too generous."

"It's nothing."

Later that evening after the meeting, Mara asks him the question about his 'connection' to the Faytonni family.

"Mara, don't ask me about my family….Just kidding! There's no connection to the Faytonni Family. I borrowed that line from a vintage holovid from earth."

"It would be cool if you were. Mr. Motss and Mr. Kravitz thought you were connected. That's why you're in a really nice hotel."

"You really think so?" He winks at her.

Later at the Skywalker home, the guests finally leave. Ana-Lena is sleeping in her bassinette in the living room. Li-An and Alex no longer see her as a threat. They go out into the garden to play on the swings. Luke sits close to the bassinette gazing at his baby sister.

"You poor kid. You have no idea what you're in for."

The house is soon quiet. It is one o'clock in the morning when Ana-Lena decides it is time to practice her vocals. Isabel enters the nursery. She closes the sliding doors separating the infant from her older brothers. Li-An makes a mental note to set her belongings out on the parking bay steps if she keeps this nonsense up much longer.

Li-An and Alex have been working on their letters to the Great Befana. Isabel restricts the children to asking for one gift only. They also have to make a gift wish for a child somewhere in the galaxy who has not been as blessed as they are. The matching gifts are purchased by Anakin and his pod racing gambling pals, Lando, Boba Fett, Nakai, and others. 'Gladys promises to stop by and deliver the letters to Befana for Li-An and his brother. Uli Jensen reminds them to be good. Befana Eve is growing near. There is so much to do.

Anakin has not been hanging out with his sabacc pals and he has missed a few Pod racing games. This is quite unusual for the dark lord. Lando Calrissian is worried and asks Obi-Wan if he knows anything.

"Lando, I assure you, Anakin is just fine. He just has some important matters to take care of right now. He'll be in touch soon."

"Okay. I was just a little worried. It's not like Anakin to miss a pod racing event. It's been months."

"Give him some time. You'll have your buddy back soon."

"You know something, Obi-Wan."

"Why would I keep anything from you and Ani's gambling posse?"

"I don't know but something is up."

Lando would get his answer a month later.

'_**Baptism Becomes You'**_

The family arrives at the Jedi monastery cathedral. Ana-Lena is dressed in her beautiful polished cotton and organza gown and bonnet. Luke and Leia join their parents and siblings at the baptismal font. Obi-Wan, Adi Gallia Lara and Isabel's brother Stephan stand in as Ana-Lena's godparents.

Palpatine stands proudly as his little granddaughter is baptized. Master Yoda leans on his gimer stick. He looks up at Palpatine then rolls his eyes and shakes his head. Han Solo is standing in the family pew with them. He is wearing a new suit. He figures since he is spending more time at social events with the Skywalker family, that he had better start dressing up. Han also figures he has got to stay on Anakin's good side. He has actually been behaving himself and has not smart mouthed Anakin or laughed behind his back for months. Leia is impressed. She is proud of him.

The Jedi Priest names the baby:

"Ana-Lena Aayla Shmi Skywalker' I baptize you in the name of the Father of the Jedi Order Kaja Sinis and of the Force and the Blessed Force Spirits in the Heavens who watch over us all."

"Congratulations. You may take your daughter."

"Thank you, your Holiness."

The priest hands the baby back to Isabel. Anakin disappears for a moment. He returns at the altar wearing a white Jedi baptismal robe over his designer dress pants. He is no longer wearing his nice dress shirt, tie and jacket which are stored in the changing area in the back. The Jedi priest smiles approvingly. He resumes the service.

"Do you wish to be baptized?"

"I do wish to be baptized."

Han Solo, who has been so well-behaved throughout the entire service lets out an audible gasp as Anakin approaches the larger baptismal font.

Han is finally able to speak when he lifts his bottom lip up from the floor.

"What the…Damn! Oops. Excuse me." Han covers his mouth when he recalls where he is.

Ouisanne and Nakai hear him as well as Isabel's grandmother. Palpatine rolls his eyes and gives Han a stern look of disapproval.

"Shhh!"

They look towards the altar. Alex and Li-An stand close to their mother as she holds the baby and watches the second baptism of the day. Anakin takes this moment seriously. The Jedi priest continues to perform the ceremony.

"Do you renounce the Sith?"

"I do renounce them."

"And all the works of the dark side?"

"I do renounce them."

Han looks on but cannot help himself. He continues to murmur comments.

"Renounce Sabacc? Renounce pod racing off-track betting? Burying people in carbonite? He's going to give all that crap up?" Palpatine gives Han a dirty look. Han shrugs. "Hey, I'm just saying…You know…it wouldn't kill you to go for a few laps in that holy water yourself. You've got a lot of sin to wash out. Does that thing have a triple rinse cycle? Go on up there, _Papsmer_."

Yoda taps his gimer stick on the alabaster floor of the cathedral. The stick lands close to Han's foot. He gestures for Han to_ 'zip it.'_ Han remains quiet for a moment. Leia takes a peek at the three men. What a grouping! A revered Jedi Master, a creepy, self-absorbed former Sith of a grandfather, and a wisecracking, undisciplined albeit handsome boyfriend.

The priest continues.

"You belong to Kaja Sinis, in whom you have been baptized. Alleluia. Alleluia. Name this follower of the Light."

He looks to Jedi Master Nejaa Halcyon who accompanies Anakin to the larger font which is built into the floor. Before the Jedi Master responds, there is another remark from the family pew. Han whispers so only the people sitting in the front row of the family pew can hear.

He is almost singing it:

"It ain't gonna la-ast."

Nakai Nor bows his head as if in prayer. He is trying to hold in a laugh. Ouisanne nudges him. He purses his lips to keep from letting out a guffaw. He is breathing heavily through his nose as Han continues his comments. Leia catches the giggle-bug. She discreetly scratches her nose and turns away pretending to admire the historic religious structure. Han looks over at her and shifts his eyebrows. Leia makes a face as if to tell him to stop.

Nejaa Halcyon stands beside Anakin. Anakin glances at his Jedi sponsor. The esteemed Jedi Master finally responds.

"Anakin Skywalker."

The celebrant and another priest help to dip Anakin into the font filled with 50 gallons of holy water. Anakin trusts no one but he trusts these priests when he lets himself fall back into the water of the in-ground baptismal font. Another priest waits for him to be lifted out of the water and wraps his head and shoulders in a long white baptismal towel. The celebrant continues and anoints the former Sith with holy oils:

"Anakin Skywalker, I baptize you in the name of the Father of the Jedi Order Kaja Sinis and of the Force and the Blessed Force Spirits in the Heavens who watch over us all."

Han giggles and continues murmuring to himself.

"I bet that water is boiling hot. Now, is this the part where Master Halcyon cradles Ani in his arms? Where's his baptism bonnet? A man as vain as Anakin is not going to like the way his hair looks right now. "

Palpatine speaks to Han with clenched teeth but continues to look straight ahead.

"I would tread very carefully if I were you…especially if you intend to slip your way into this family."

"Well, you should know a lot about that, old buzzard."

Anakin knows the cradle-robbing scoundrel is mocking this most sacred moment. He decides to rise above such ignorance. There are two unlikely people who completely 'lose it' at this moment and laugh out loud. They are Luke and Obi-Wan Kenobi. He is betrayed by his two best friends. Anakin ignores them…for now.

Anakin looks down at little Alex with a wink and a smile after the baptismal blessing. Alex smiles up happily at his father. All of his fears he had for his father have since disappeared.

Lando smiles and shakes his head. He says to himself, "Well I'll be damned."

After the service, the family and guests gather at the banquet hall for a lavish luncheon. There are many gifts to open.

Han hurries over to Luke as they arrive in the room.

"Pssst! Luke! Listen…was I supposed to bring a gift for him? I didn't know he was going to get his soul saved today. I only bought a present for the baby."

"Hey, Han, don't worry about it. He only told a few people."

"Really? Who."

"My mom, Leia, my grandparents Nakai and Ouisanne, Yoda, Obi-Wan, The Jedi Council, Gladys and Her husband…"

"Ok, Ok, ok, I got it. But I can't believe Leia knew and she never told me. Everyone knew but me?"

"Relax, Han. She was thinking of telling you…for a second."

"Your family is full of secrets and you can't even tell me one?"

"It was meant to be a surprise."

"Well, whoop-de-do, Junior!"

Han sulks for a few minutes then lines up at the buffet table and fills his plate.

"Crazy family._ 'It's a secret!_' my eye! Oooh, crab legs! Nice spread." He grabs the tongs and piles a couple of Dune Sea crab legs onto his plate next to Sallustan fried rice and steamed Felucia sweet peppers.

"Oooowa! Crab legs! Deesa be good eats!"

Han rolls his eyes.

"Oh, brother."

"Oh, look, crabby nerfherder beesa eatin' free and complainin'. Yousa owe celestial dark lord thanks."

"Oh, great! I'm being scolded by Jar-Jar."

"Humph!"

The quick-tongued Gungan fills his plate then walks away. He looks around for a place to sit. He sees Palpatine standing at the table where Luke, Mara and Jonni Faytonni are sitting. It looks as if the old man is pumping for information about Jonni's performance deal with Stan and Abner.

"Okiday! Move along powerless sith. Nothin' to seesa here!"

"Oh, hello, Jar-Jar. What are you, their self -appointed bodyguard? Fine, I'll leave. Traitor."

Jar-Jar sticks out his tongue at the former sith lord. Luke grins then points to an empty chair at the table.

"Have a seat, Jar-Jar."

Jar-Jar sets down his plate and takes the empty place at the table.

Meanwhile, Han sits at the family table. Some of Isabel's relatives are there but he does not know them.

"Hey, how's it shaking?"

The older relatives just stare at him. He looks around for a familiar face. He is annoyed with Luke for not telling him about Anakin, so he is not ready to sit with him. Isabel and Anakin are at the entrance chatting with a few arriving guests.

Han leaves the table and walks over to the newly-baptized dark lord.

"Sir, I don't know what to say…I guess congratulations are in order."

"Thank you, Solo."

"I want to apologize for not bringing you a gift."

"Not to worry, Solo…as long as my daughter Leia is happy…I'll accept that as a gift."

"It's just that I didn't know."

"I know you didn't know, you clown! I felt you in the pews laughing and cracking jokes. That's especially why I never told you. I see Leia smartened up and didn't tell you either."

"I would have handled it differently had I known…honest."

"Yeah…sure you would have, but listen, it's a celebration today. My baby daughter just got baptized; and my family is together and healthy. But this is her day, not mine. Come over and join us."

He flashes his trademark smile then playfully put his right hand on Han's neck as if he is about to shake him like a rag doll. Han winches then opens one eye to witness his fate. Anakin politely ushers the wisecracking smuggler back inside.

After everyone has eaten, Anakin walks around to chat with his guests again. Alex is in his arms and Li-An is at his side holding his hand. They are happy.

Gladys walks over to them. She kisses Anakin on the cheek. She is wearing a lilac suit and a fresh calla lily pinned to her lapel.

"Congratulations, Anakin, Dear."

"That's, Gladys. You're the best catechism tutor ever."

"Well, you were a good student."

Alex lifts his head from his father's shoulder.

"My daddy got baptized today."

"I know, sweetie…now all the Skywalkers are baptized. Isn't that wonderful?"

Li-An nods in agreement.

"Now Daddy has a shot to go to heaven. That's what Grandpop Nakai says. Before that he said he didn't stand a chance in h….."

Anakin ruffles Li-An's hair to distract the child. Li-An looks up at his father. Anakin looks at Gladys and shrugs with a silly smile.

"Younglings say the darnedest lings."

Li-An reaches for his hair. "Daddy, you messed up my hair. Hey! Wear's Ooili?"

Gladys chuckles when she hears Li-An attempt to pronounce Uli's name.

"Well, Li-An, Mr. Jensen is very busy this time of year."

"Oh."

Anakin can see Han from the corner of his eye. Han is moping about like a scolded child. He sets Alex down to play with his cousins. Li-An leads his little brother to the other children where a race ensues under and around the banquet tables then out onto the garden. Anakin watches then take off but their voices can still be heard inside. He looks at Gladys.

"Gladys, will you excuse me for a bit?"

"Of course. Anakin, you're a good man." She sees Han too. "Go on."

Anakin walks over to Han.

"Hey, Solo…want to see the gift my kids gave me for being baptized?"

"Sure."

"Well, say it like you mean it. Come on, follow me."

They go to the private parking area. The sun shines brightly on a fire-red luxury sports speeder.

"She's a beauty, isn't she?"

"Wow."

"This baby can go from zero to 200 in less than twelve parsecs!"

"Impressive."

"Shall we take her for a spin?"

"Uhm…sure."

"Hop in." Anakin is in the drivers' seat. He slips on his sunglasses. Let's see what this hot rod can do."

"You're not going to do too much within the city limits."

"Says who?"

"Well, let me buckle uuup……!"

Before Han gets a chance to settle into the passenger seat, the speeder takes off. The scruffy nerfherder is clinging onto the side for dear life. Anakin swerves out of the way of oncoming traffic. Han just now realizes they are already on the intergalactic highway.

"Slow down!"

"What?"

"Slow down!"

"We're just getting started. So, Han tell me, you think it was a big joke me getting baptized, eh?"

"Ohh, crap! Is this payback time? You don't take a joke well."

"Nope! Hahahaha! Don't barf in my car, Solo!"

_To be continued… _

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter of this family saga. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	122. Chapter 122 Bay's Day at the Pod Races

_Chapter 122_

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'_Breakfast: The Worst Meal of the Day'_

'_Baby's Day at the Races'_

'_Triple Thriller Horror Theatre Presents: The Kids that Would Not Leave'_

'_What to Buy Dad for Befana Eve: For the Sith Who Has Everything'_

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Years ago when the twins moved in with him, Anakin was required to learn his way around the kitchen. Suffice it to say, over the years he has improved tremendously. Now with the twins running around town with their friends and traveling, and with Isabel or a maid to prepare the family meals, he has not spent much time in the kitchen.

Having Li-An and Alex has changed that. It is weekends in the kitchen with the waffle iron, pouring cereal or scrambling duck eggs. He has gotten the eopie bacon strips arranged on the plate to resemble a smiley face. Usually he is spared all of this work. The boys were usually satisfied with a bowl of hot or cold cereal, toast and pera jelly but he is actually enjoying it now. The smiley face bacon and eggs are for him.

It has been two weeks after the baptism. So far, so good,…the baptism has taken hold, or as Uncle Owen refers to it, 'The Amazing Exorcism.' Boba Fett want to place bets on how long it world take for Anakin to revert to his old sith-self. Famous odds maker Talon Kaarde gives the newly saved dark lord 9-2 odds. The bets are rolling in!

It is a peaceful Saturday morning. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood…then tragedy strikes.

Alex and Li-An are at the breakfast table eating their breakfast. Anakin is with them. He is holding the baby and reading the Coruscant times. He hears the refrigerator door opening then someone approaches the table and pulls out one of the chairs. Anakin cautiously peers over his newspaper. Yes,…it's true. Moreover, the intruder has the audacity to reach across the table for the blue milk as he greets everyone.

"Good morning everyone!"

Li-An and Alex smile back.

"Good morning, Luke."

"What are you eating there, Li?"

"_Cerweal."_

"I see Alex is having a hot breakfast. Hey, Dad, how are you doing?"

"You're still here?"

"What? Why do you say that?"

"You're emancipated now, Mr. Big Bucks."

"But you said this will always be home."

"Yeah, I just didn't expect you to be at this home."

Leia enters the breakfast room.

"Good morning. What's for breakfast?"

"I don't know. Didn't you buy groceries for your new place?"

"What new place?"

"The place I thought you would get after you became emancipated."

"Very funny, Daddy." She helps herself to a bantha milk yogurt with fruit then pours a glass of orange juice and takes a seat at the table.

"Do you see me laughing?"

Li-An looks across the table at his sister then back at his father. He swings his legs under the table between spoonfuls of cereal.

"What's _'He-man sipate,' _Dad?"

Leia interrupts before her father can answer.

"It's when you get too big and your father tries to throw you to the sidewalk."

Li-An stops eating.

"Am I too big too? Am I going to get thrown too?"

Li-An starts crying. Anakin rolls his eyes. Leia comforts her little brother while squinting across the table at her father.

"See that, Daddy? Look what you've done, you made him cry!"

"I didn't say anything."

"Yes you did." She dries Li-An's eyes.

Anakin looks over his shoulder for Isabel. He had promised to let her sleep in late because he would take care of the children. He needs her now. There are just too many of 'them' and he is afraid.

"Where is your mother when I'm being disrespected and attacked?"

Isabel appears in the doorway. She walks over to the table and stands over her husband.

"Who's attacking you this time, 'Ani Little'?"

"These two agitators starting trouble at the breakfast table." He points an accusing finger at the 'newly-emancipated ones.' Isabel smiles knowingly. Li-An looks up at his mother.

"Hi, Mom."

Alex echoes the greeting.

"Hi, Mommy."

"Good morning, sweeties." She smiles at the four older siblings. Ana-Lena sleeps soundly. "Kids, relax, he doesn't mean anything he says." She tickles Anakin on the chin. He rolls his eyes.

"Pass the pepper please?"

Leia smiles sweetly as she passes the pepper mill to her father.

"Here you go, Daddy."

"Thank you." He peppers his two eggs.

Anakin looks around the breakfast table taking a mental assessment of the disappointment surrounding him. He looks at Ana-Lena sleeping in his arms.

"Lena, you're my only hope, sweetheart…I'm losing all of your siblings to the dark side of disrespect."

Alex, who is sitting directly next to his father, looks up at Anakin.

"I _weespeck_ you, Daddy."

"I'm sure you do, Alex. Move closer to me…"

Alex scoots closer to his father. Li-An continues to eat his cereal. Between mouthfuls of his breakfast, he looks over at Anakin and proclaims his support.

"I respect you too, Daddy."

"Oh yeah? When?"

"When I finish my breakfast."

"Hmmm…don't hurry on my account. So….Luke, what happened to that condo you were looking at?"

"I'm thinking it over. The housing market is not that stable right now."

"Not stable? Why? You think it's going to fall apart." He laughs at his own joke. "So, when to you expect the housing market to take an upswing?"

"Oh…gee, Dad, I don't know…when I get married I guess."

"Oh, really? What's the date so I can pencil it in on my data pad?"

"Well, that could be years from now. I'm still enjoying the single life. I don't want to be tied down with a bunch of kids. Besides, I haven't even proposed yet."

"Oh, well, I can see where that can get in the way of things." He turns his attention to Li-An. "So, Mr. Li-An Jinn, what's going on in Youngling class?"

Li-An chews his cereal. A droplet of milk drips from his chin as he looks at his father.

"Nufing."

"Nothing? I'm going to have a chat with Master Yoda to find out what he's been teaching you kids. Apparently you don't have enough to do."

"We _lurn _stuff."

"Yeah? Like what?"

"We lurn light saber _pwactice, inter-galactick negoat-see-ateshuns, Wesisting the sis_ and using the _fuss_."

"The what?"

"The fuss! Why do you keep asking me to repeat myself?"

"Do you kids get a language class in there somewhere?"

"Yes." Li-An takes another spoonful of cereal. "We _lurn_ Bocce."

Alex repeats after his brother and nods in agreement.

"Bocce."

Li-An provides more information for his father.

"Oh, Dad, guess what? Han's friend is teaching us Wookie!"

Anakin thinks he is going to faint. He holds onto the baby as he looks into the eyes of his 4-year old son. He knows Li-An is telling the truth.

"What? I can barely understand you as it is! Now I really need to talk to Yoda, that backward-talking little gnome…."

Leia stops her father.

"Daddy, watch what you say."

"They know better than to repeat what I say."

Li-An giggles.

"Yeah, Yoda does talk backwards. Ha-ha-ha!"

Alex repeats after him.

"Yoda."

Anakin looks at the little boys.

"Alex, Li-An, no repeating Daddy. Ok?"

"Ok"

"What's a gnome, Daddy?"

Luke does not say a word but he is laughing to himself. After the twins finish their breakfast, they leave the table. Anakin watches them.

"Where are you two going, house hunting?"

Luke answers to humor him.

"Yes, Dad."

Anakin thinks for a moment.

"You'll be home in time for dinner, right?"

"Yes, Father."

Leia leans over to kiss her father and little sister.

"Daddy, why don't you let me put her in the cradle while you enjoy your breakfast? Your eggs are getting cold."

"We're doing just fine. Go to work."

"It's Saturday; I'm off today. I'll stop by the bakery to pick up dessert on my way home. What are you going to do all day?"

"I'm going to escape to my peaceful study and get some work done."

"Oh, please! Everyone knows you have a pod racing event to watch. You have the same routine every weekend."

"So? Why did you ask if you knew?"

"Why are you being so difficult?"

"I'm your father; I'm allowed."

Isabel returns to the breakfast room after overhearing his plans for the day.

"Anakin, you said you were going to watch the baby while I take the boys to see the Befana Eve Holiday show."

"Aww, 'Bel! That's going to ruin all my plans."

Leia laughs as she heads out.

"Ha-ha! Busted!"

Isabel puts her hands on her hips as she stands over him.

"You don't want to take care of your daughter?"

"Of course I do…Just hand her over when the racing ends."

"No! I'm not going to keep track of your sporting events. You said things were going to change."

Anakin takes her hand as he taunts her.

"Not everything, Honey…We can still have our midday bonding session during the break. You stress too much. I can fix that…"

She pulls her hand away.

"You're babysitting. It's not that hard. She'll be asleep most of the morning."

Anakin mumbles to himself.

"She says that with every kid she leaves here."

"Excuse me? Did you say something?"

"Nothing, Honey…just clearing my throat." He looks down at his plate and rolls his eyes.

Isabel leaves to get the children ready to go out for the day. While Li-An and Alex get dressed, Isabel returns to the breakfast room and takes the baby for nursing. By the time the boys are ready, Ana-Lena is sound asleep. The baby monitor is on but Anakin assures his wife that he can feel the baby crying if it comes to that. He shoos Isabel and the two Younglings out of the house.

Silence! Happy day! No whiny Jedi knight son, no bullying nerfherding-kissing daughter, no know-it-all wife and no Younglings to explain to him what the 'Fuss' is. He knows fussing and he knows the Force. They are not the same thing. When Li-An is in first grade at the private school, he will have teachers who do not have a syntax problem when speaking and there will be no Wookies to teach classic Coruscant literature. Han Solo had better stop getting involved in educating any Skywalker children. He has already corrupted two.

The newly baptized 'Lord of the Light' retreats to the solace of his study. The monitors flash up images of Lando, Boba Fett, Phillip Nor and the latest 'victim' from the pit over at headquarters. The men are laughing and joking. The pit officer laughs along. He has not idea what he is in for this Saturday morning. They bet on the first string of races.

The pit officer groans as he witnesses his third race as a big loss. Lando makes a remark.

"Whoa! Buddy, maybe you should slow down we're not even on the main event. Go easy."

Anakin is laughing hysterically. Boba tries to get the officer to bet again.

"Come on….you have to play to win."

"I'm trying to take a calculated risk."

"Hey, mate, I take risks every day. You don't see me whinin' like a Sheila."

"Take the plunge, mate. I have a good feeling about this race coming up."

"You do? I don't know…I just don't wan to out of this looking like a chump."

"You're okay in my book, mate. Go on now, take the plunge."

Anakin is enjoying this. He mutes Boba and the pit officer then chats on the remaining monitors to Lando and Philippe.

"I haven't witnessed such half-assed betting since…" He hesitates for a moment then looks towards the door. Without looking up at the monitors where his friends are, Anakin raises his right hand for all talking to cease. He gets up from his desk chair and leaves the room.

When Anakin reaches the living room, he looks inside the bassinet. Ana-Lena is crying her head off. Her clenches fists open and she grabs at her face and head pulling on her hair.

"Honey, what is it? What's the matter?" He checks her diaper. "Oh dear…hmmm…okay, _Lena-belly_, Daddy's going to change you." Even after he changes her, she continues to cry. He cradles her in his arms but she does not stop. "What is it? You can't cut me some slack, can you? I'm in the middle of a big wager. My buddies are waiting for me. Your mother said you were going to sleep for the next three hours. You know this diaper change is cutting into my recreation time, right? You keep screaming like this and no decent guy is going to want to marry you, especially if you interrupt his sports time. You'll wind up with some scruffy pirate with questionable morals. Look at your sister. Lena, stop wailing. You'll give yourself a headache."

Meanwhile, Lando, Boba, Philippe, and the pit officer have a discussion.

"What's he doing out there?"

Philippe becomes comically defensive.

"How should I know?"

"He's your brother-in-law."

"He'll be back."

"Well, the next race is about to start. We're going to lose our wagers."

"Wait this race out. Key in your PIN to retrieve your bets"

"What about Anakin?"

Lando waves his hand assuredly.

"He's loaded. He'll get over it."

Back in the living room, Anakin is playing with the baby.

"Who's the pretty baby? Who's the pretty girl? You're the pretty girl. Yes you are!" Ana-Lena breaks into a smile as Anakin holds her over his head then kisses her. "Okay now; go back to sleep."

He places her back in the bassinet. They stare at one another. Neither blinks. She sighs heavily as she looks up at her father. Anakin slowly backs away, trying to be as quiet as possible. She follows him with her eyes until he is out over her sight. Anakin is halfway to the door of his study when it starts.

Ana-Lena begins wailing again. Anakin hurries back to her, trying not to make any noise. He bumps into an end table causing a platinum candy dish to spin several revolutions until it topples onto the floor.

"Shhh! I'm sorry. Aww, baby, come one. Cooperate for Daddy. I've got 3,000 credits on the line here. Take a nap for an hour and then I'll be back with you. Please baby, please…"

Back inside, the rest of the gang is becoming restless. Philippe glances at his watch.

"Well guys, it's post time we in or out?"

Boba keys in his PIN number to withdraw his bet. The others reluctantly do the same. They feel guilty letting Anakin's credits stay in play but they don't have access to his code to stop the credit transfer. They are relieved when he finally walks through the door. He Force closes the door so carefully; it does not make a sound. No one says a word at first. Anakin walks over to his desk. All eyes are on him as he stands behind his desk.

"What? Haven't you ever seen a baby before?"

Philippe grins.

"Of course we have. I have kids. Your niece and nephew, remember? So, my sister put you on babysitting duty, eh?"

"I'm doing it willingly."

"She's going to be pissed if she finds out you left her alone in another room."

"I had it under control. She doesn't have to know. The baby is just fine. She's been changed, I'm feeding her…she's a happy little baby."

Boba jokes.

"Your wife stuck you with a newborn. Ever since you got baptized, you've become a real pushover."

"Well, at least I have a wife to push me over…I mean boss me around. You know what I mean. Look at you, no wife, no girlfriend…you keep cloning yourself. How disturbing is that? Boba and the 1,000 mini Fetts. That's one gene pool no one should be swimming in."

"Take it easy. No need to get personal, Mate. Don't you think I have feelings? Just because I'm a ruthless bounty hunter, it doesn't mean I have no compassion or feel no pain. If I get sliced with a lightsaber, do I not bleed? If I see a fallen pod racer, do I not shed a tear?"

Lando and the others respond in unison.

"No!"

Boba Fett is defensive.

"Well, I could cry if I wanted to. I just find it a useless form of energy." He gazes at the baby. "She is a cute little thing. Never had a girl before…"

Everyone looks at Boba Fett as if he has just sprouted two heads.

Isabel's brother offers a few words of advice to the cloned bounty hunter.

"And you never will. That's just creepy. You and your 1,000 clones keep away from my niece."

"What's this? 'Jump all over Boba Fett Day?' Geez! So… is that how it's going to be? Fine, turn on me. Okay, Mr. Big Shot _'I got Baptized,'_ Let's see how you hold up after losing 3,000 credits."

Anakin is too focused on his daughter to get upset. He is happy. Nothing else seems to matter. He feeds her.

"I don't care."

The pit officer is just about out of money. Anakin nods to Lando then tips his head. Lando cannot believe what the new and improved father of five is telling him. Lando gets the attention of the pit officer.

"Hey, Orville, Your wager is being wired back to your account."

The nephew of General Tagge is quite surprised when he hears this.

"Really? I lost."

"Hey, Befana Eve is almost here. You could use that to do your shopping. You got kids?"

"No."

"Girlfriend?"

"No."

"Someone you're thinking of dating?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I live to protect and serve as part of the New Republic Military."

"You've got to be joking me. You don't know any girls?"

"None socially."

"You need a date. Come visit me on cloud city. I'll hook you up."

"Oh. Alright."

Lando turns his attention to Anakin. He has to call his name a few times to get him to look up at the monitor.

"Anakin, ol' buddy!"

"What?"

He finally looks up at the monitor. In his hand is a small plush yellow Krayt Dragon rattle. It resembles nothing like the menacing-looking real one. This one us pastel yellow, fuzzy and has a sewn on smile with a mint green satin ribbon tied into a tiny bow. When shaken, it makes a soft rattle noise; and when squeezed, it squeaks. Ana-Lena smiles when Anakin shakes it. Her tiny arms and legs move as she watches the toy in his hand. Anakin is equally entertained as he manipulates the toy legs and speaks in a high falsetto voice.

"_Hello, Ana-Le, I'm a Krayt dragon. Will you be my friend?_"

Lando, Philippe, Boba, and Officer Orville Tagge stop talking. Their eyes are on Anakin and the baby. They are all aware how Anakin dotes on his children but they have never witnessed him like this. He is totally enamored with the sweet smelling little bundle of joy on his desk. He knows he is being watched. He looks up at the monitors.

"What? Never seen a father play with his child before?"

After losing or missing several pod racing events, the men devote their time fussing over the baby. Four monitors show the four smitten men adoring a little baby.

Meanwhile in town, Leia meets up with Isabel and her little brothers at the exclusive Rodian Drive shopping complex.

"So, have you found anything for Dad?"

"Yes. How about you and Luke?"

"Luke has some other ideas. He's meeting Grandpop Nakai at the sporting goods store."

Isabel almost laughs.

"Don't tell me anymore. I don't want to know."

"Do you think Daddy suspects?"

"No. For all he knows, I'm taking the boys to see the show."

Alex watches the dancing elf droids. They are dancing around someone and drawing a crowd. Alex tugs at his mother's hand.

"Oooh…Mamee look! Ooilee!"

Li-An looks too.

"Mom! There's Ooilee. I want to see him."

"Where?

"There." He points to the gazebo carved from ice. A figure dressed in red is seated on a throne of sorts surrounded by an entourage of little elves.

"Let's wait a bit, it's getting crowded."

Alex and Li-An are disappointed but they obey their mother. Luke joins them after packing the gifts in his speeder.

"Okay, where to next?"

"Ewok village!"

"Why did I ask?"

Meanwhile, back at the house Anakin is dressing the baby for the outdoors. The four losing pod race gamblers are making ridiculous faces and sounds to get the infant's attention. Lando shows his softer side when he sees how carefully and gently Anakin tends to her.

"So, Anakin, you're leaving now?"

"Yes. I think little Miss Ana-Li and I need to do some investigative snooping. I feel something suspicious afoot."

He smiles at the baby as he puts a pink sweater set that Gladys crocheted for her. She whimpers a bit as he puts the matching booties on her

"Don't you worry, Darling angel, we'll find them. I'm not stupid. I know things."

Back at the shopping complex, Li-An and Alex wait patiently as the other children wait in a queue to see the big man in red. Leia remembers her first time her father took her and Luke to see this imposing but kindly old man in a red suit and beard.

It took some coaxing from Obi-Wan, but Anakin finally got up the nerve to do it. Leia was intrigued, although she had become quite cynical in her young age. She did not believe in Krayt Dragons, magical flying Hirsch, or a workshop on an icy part of a planet far, far away. She was ready to make life easy for Anakin either. When she hears where he is planning to take her and her brother she reacted with cool indifference. Luke is thrilled and could not wait. Aunt Beru used to read him stories as a toddler of the three wise Jedi Kings who traveled from afar to the land of the dual suns. Leia had doubts that this was the real Father Solstice.

When the cheerful figure meets Leia, he sees the worry in her eyes. She is strong and tries to hide her feelings but he knows better. He urges her to tell him what she would like to have for Befana Eve. Leia thinks of something but is not optimistic of ever getting it.

"_If you're really Babbo Befana, you can get it for me. And if you can't, you're only a nice man with a white beard like father says."_

"_Now wait a minute Leia. Just because every child can't get his wish that doesn't mean there isn't a Babbo Befana."_

Leia started believing when Isabel walked into their home all those years ago. Everything was going so well until events unfolded that would make this all disappear. Leia stopped believing for awhile up until the day her father remarried. She had not met Gladys until her father returned to work for the Emperor. She had not met Uli Jensen until the day of the wedding. Before that day, she had no idea he and Babbo Befana were the same person. From that point on, she had renewed faith. She encouraged her younger brothers to believe.

She looks at he two younger brothers. They wait Alex holds her hand. Li-An watches as the line to see this most important celebrity grows longer. Suddenly he turns and finds someone has joined them.

"Dad!"

"Hey, sport!"

Isabel turns to look too.

"Hi. What are you doing here?"

"What, we can't go out?" The baby is strapped to his chest. She is sleeping in the _'Easy Ewok Baby Cozy Carrier'. _

"I didn't say that. I'm just surprised to see you here."

"I bet you were surprised. You have something to hide?"

Leia looks up at her father as she continues to hold onto Alex.

"You're paranoid, you know that don't you?"

"Why are my kids waiting over here when they should be seeing the old man in the big red suit?"

"It's called waiting their turn."

Anakin removes Ana Lena from the infant carrier and hands her to Isabel.

"They can't wait their turn all the way over here. Boys, come with me."

"Anakin, don't do anything embarrassing."

"Go do some shopping. Isn't that what you do best?"

"I've got my eyes on you."

"You always do. Give me the baby."

"But you told me to take her."

"And I'm taking her back. You and Leia can go now. Come on, kids, let's go see Babbo Befana."

Li-An and Alex follow their father to the line to see the Man on the big throne. Li-An tugs at his father's hand. Anakin leans over as his son whispers to him.

"Daddy, I don't think we'll get to see him. There are too many people."

Anakin looks at the line. It is long. At this rate, it will be an hour before his kids will get to the front of the line. He really wants to be his children's hero today. Anakin has an idea. When no one is looking, Anakin discreetly waves his hand. An announcement comes over the loudspeaker.

"_Free Eopie smoked sausage sticks at the Darklighter Farms Shoppe on the mezzanine."_

There is dead silence. A little fat boy who has been pestering his mother for a ride on the carousel stands frozen. He stops kicking the plastic holiday animal figures. His mouth hangs open like a salivating hutt. A man on his cell phone making a business deal while waiting with his kids interrupts his call.

"Mr. Hucklebee, hold on…there's been an important announcement. I'll have to call you later."

The mall announcer in the control booth keeps flipping through his notes. He has no idea why he is making this announcement, but there it is, said and done, already out on the airwaves in earshot of all the holiday shoppers.

The shoppers converge on the Darklighter Cheese and Sausage specialty shop. The two teenage employees hired to hand out food samples on Tatooine water crackers, are almost trampled by the crowd. Shoppers swarm around them.

The line at the 'Hoth Winter Wonderland' is a lot shorter now. The jolly old man sitting on the golden throne looks around. He summons the two Skywalker children up the ramp to where he sits. The elves help the children up on his lap. Another family arrives to stand on line. The jolly old man looks at the two boys.

"Well! Hello there, Li-An and Alex."

"How do you know our names?"

"Ho-Ho-Ho! I know everything about you."

"Are you part of the Imperial Intelligence Service?"

"Ohhh…Heavens no. Nothing like that. So what can I do for you boys?"

"Oh nothing. We just wanted to see you."

"Oh?"

Li-An whispers to the Great Babbo.

"Alex and I think you're really Ooilee but only in a red suit."

The Great Babbo leans in and whispers to the boys.

"Well, you got me there. We shouldn't let this get out or there will be anarchy in the streets. This will be our little secret, right?"

The children nod their heads 'yes'. Alex whispers back, but just a bit louder than Li-An.

"But we still believe."

The old man gives them a wink and a smile.

"That's good to know." He looks over at Anakin and winks.

He notices the littlest Skywalker in Anakin's arms. He gestures for Anakin to bring her to him.

"Well, isn't she a beauty."

Alex looks in the bunting at his little sister.

"She can't talk"

"Ohhh, but I can still talk to her." He looks into the infant's eyes and smiles. It is as if they are holding a telepathic conversation. They are. After he is done, he looks up. Li-An looks at him.

"What did she say?"

"It's a secret. Now run along. It will be Befana Eve soon. Your parents have lots to do."

"Oh, yeah. And other children are waiting."

"That's very observant of you, Master Li."

"Yoda says I'm smart."

"And that you are. Okay. Here's a ginger cake for each of you. Run along." He rubs Li-An on the head. Li-An slides off his lap.

"Thank you."

Alex smiles and takes his treat.

"Thank you."

Anakin takes Ana Lena and escorts his children out of Hoth Wonderland. They head to Ewok Land for a meal. Anakin has not enjoyed visiting Hoth Wonderland as much as he has today.

Befana Eve is a joyful time for the Skywalkers. Gifts are exchanged and food is abundant, but most importantly, it is the gathering of family. Anakin is grateful. He has everything he has ever wanted. Luke presents him with his gift. Anakin is not expecting it.

"Dad, here's a gift from Grandpop Nakai and me."

"What is it?"

Skippy sniffs around the gift. Li-An looks at it.

"It looks like a tree trunk."

Luke smiles and rolls his eyes.

"It's not a tree trunk, Li."

"It sure looks like a tree trunk."

"It's not a tree trunk, Li. Let Dad open it."

Anakin walks over and examines the ornately wrapped 'tree trunk'. He inspects the base. Leia interrupts.

"Dad, open my gift first." She hands him a stack of beautifully-wrapped boxes."

"Okay." He glances at Luke. "I'll tackle this in a minute." He unwraps the first box and flips over the paisley tissue paper. "What the 'eff' is this?"

Leia's eyes widen. She wants to slap her father.

"Daddy, take it out and look at it!"

"Oh. Hmmm…it's pink!"

"It's also grey and white. Take it out of the box! Oh, my God! Why are you so difficult?"

Anakin holds up a pink cashmere sweater vest and a matching cardigan made from the finest bantha. In the second box is a pair of khaki golf slacks, a hat, and a pair of white golf shoes with a tan saddle and socks in the last box.

"Gee…thanks, Leia…."

"You're welcome, Daddy."

Palpatine has been snacking on some holiday treats and sipping eggnog when Anakin opens his gifts. He comments on the gift.

"You know, Anakin, she picked this out herself."

"I know. And I love it!" He leans over and kisses his daughter. "Thanks again, sweet pea." He looks at the 'tree trunk' again. "Well, I suppose I should tackle this one now. "Alex and Li-An, you want to help me with this?" He strips away the gift-wrap with the help of the two younger Skywalker children.

Luke is filming this moment. Nakai is spending the day with his other grand children and will arrive at the Skywalker home for midnight dinner along with his wife and the rest of the family. Luke promises to capture Anakin's reaction to the gift. Anakin does not disappoint.

"Dad, what do you think?"

"Golf clubs? I don't play golf!" He sees Luke give his father a 'look'. Anakin re-adjusts his attitude. Every club is personalized with Anakin's name and New Republic insignia. "But I'm willing to learn." He pulls out a club and makes a practice swing. I can really whack someone with this nine iron…but I will not…I promise to be careful, Luke. So where am I going to play this game?"

"Look at the envelope, Dad."

Anakin removes a thick envelope from the golf bag. The envelope is sealed with an official gold stamp. He opens it. It is a fully approved membership to the Coruscant Coral Springs Country Club and Golf Resort. A bright smile forms on Anakin's face. He has finally gotten pass the door of this snooty place! Wait until the board of directors gets a load of him when he shows up. Most of the board members are retired officers from the former Imperial military.

"Oooh, cool. Hey, Luke, want to play a few holes tomorrow?"

"Are you sure?"

"Hell, yeah!"

"Isabel, are you coming?"

"Are you insane? I've got guests coming tomorrow."

"Someone will be here. Come on. It will be fun."

"I don't golf."

Leia smiles coyly.

"Oh, you haven't opened your gift yet." She bats her eyelashes.

"Why?"

She hands Isabel her gift, a stack of gift boxes and Luke leaves the room and reappears with another 'tree trunk'.

"Mom, here's your Befana Eve present."

"I'm not opening it."

"Oh yes you are."

She opens her gifts. She has a matching sweater set to compliment Anakin's and a golf skirt. She removes the wrapping paper from her golf clubs. Li-An helps her.

"Mommy, now you, and Daddy are twins."

"Lovely."

Luke is enjoying this.

"Mom, Dad, I managed to get a tee time for you and Dad tomorrow."

"I had better be back here before the guests arrive tomorrow afternoon."

"Relax. You and Dad are going to have a blast. Han and Obi-Wan will be there."

Anakin looks at Luke.

"Obi-Wan and that nerfherder? How did they get into the club?"

"I signed them in as your guests."

"Then tomorrow should be interesting. …" He looks over at Palpatine who is sipping blue eggnog. "Happy Befana Eve, everyone. Even you, old man. I think you had better lay off the eggnog. That's your third cup."

"I know when to stop. I'm not Obi-Wan."

"No…you're not. Drink away you old bat. I am really blessed to have my children around me today.

Alex looks up at his father.

"God Bless us everyone."

_To be continued… 'Quick as a Light saber Tee Off Time' _

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter of this family saga. In the meantime, I hope you are enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	123. Chapter 123Quick as a Lightsaber TeeOff

_Chapter 123_

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'_Quick as a Lightsaber Tee Off Time'_

'_Saints alive! When the Saint Comes Marching in…Late'_

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The day after Befana Eve, Anakin, Isabel, Leia, Han, Luke, Obi-Wan, Nakai and Palpatine arrive at the country club. Isabel's mother is at the house tending to the youngest Skywalker children.

Anakin playfully taunts Isabel by using one of his clubs to lift her pink golf skirt.

"Anakin, can you behave like a mature adult while we're still members? Do you think you can do it for one day before we get kicked out?"

"I'm just checking you out. That outfit is pretty hot on you."

She slaps the club away. Two older club members watch them. Anakin looks up and sees them. He twirls his club like a baton and stares at them. The two men abruptly break their gaze and go on their way. They are afraid of what Anakin might 'do' next.

Anakin practices a swing at the driving range. Isabel is too afraid to do anything extreme. She has played miniature golf as a child. Isabel would also accompany her father to the golf course across town. She dated a med student while at the university and joined him on the golf course. She did not dare tell Anakin this. This was not her sport but she knew the proper etiquette.

Isabel spends several minutes lining up the ball. Han is with Leia. Luke, Palpatine, and Obi-Wan are all doing well a t the driving range. Nakai is ready for his tee time. He waits for Palpatine. He knows the old Sith-turned-stage actor would be an amusing golf partner. Anakin knows Nakai would keep the old man in line.

General Tagge, Ret., and Moff Jerjerrod head out to the greens in their cart. They notice the New and improved dark lord at the club. Moff Jerjerrod looks at the General.

"Did you see that? Who let him in here?"

"I don't know but I intend to find out. I resigned from the board last year after they started letting Jedi and Corellians get memberships. General Crix Madine and Garm Bel Iblis II found their way in after the collapse of the Empire. This place is swarming with Corellians now. You know they're all _'connected.'_

"Bunch of thieves and thugs."

"Sure thing. First the Corellians and now peasants from Tatooine. Now we have _'him'_. "

"I hear that he destroyed the Emperor. Put the old man in a retirement home."

"Even worst than that, turns out they're related. He's restructured the military. I'm surprised the Imperial officers have stayed."

"What a jackass."

Anakin swings his club. His golf ball sails far onto the course hitting the canopy of the cart. The two men are still talking about Anakin and wondering how he got into the club. Anakin checks to see where the ball has fallen. As the two men look up, Anakin points to Isabel.

"Sorry…it's her first time here."

The two mean wave in acknowledgement and continue chatting as they play. Anakin swings again hitting Tagge on the back of the head. Anakin shrugs and points to his wife again. Isabel catches him.

"Anakin, I saw that! Stop telling those men I hit them."

"They won't yell at you. They'll just think you're a bad golfer. You're a chick. Heheheh. Don't forget to yell _'fore'_."

"Very funny."

Meanwhile Nakai and Palpatine get into a cart to start teeing off. Palpatine turns and screams.

"Elan! Hurry up with those golf bags; we don't have all day! Skinny little twit!"

Elan is stumbling as he struggles with the two heavy golf bags. Nakai looks back as Elan huffs and puffs his way over to the cart.

"Hey, Elan, hand me one of those bags. They're kind of heavy for you."

"Gee, thanks." Elan sees Palpatine give him a dirty look then rethinks the offer. "Uhm…I got it."

"Sure?"

"Yeah." He manages to reach the cart and loads the bags. He sits on the rear seat. Nakai drives. He whispers to the former Emperor.

"So, how long are you going to keep tormenting the kid? Don't you think he's learned his lesson?"

"A little hard work won't kill him."

"You're treating him as if he were an indentured servant."

"Why not?"

"I hope you gave him a good Befana Eve bonus."

"Bonus for what?"

"Services rendered during the past year."

"Pish Posh! He's fine!"

"You're a funny old man."

"I'm practical."

They arrive at the next hole

So, what's your handicap, Nakai?"

"Ohhh…not that impressive…" Isabel's father lines up the ball. He taps the ball with his club. It goes into the hole easily. "Hmmm. That was lucky."

"I say it's better than lucky. Sooo…you and the Missus baby sit a lot for the little ones?"

"Whenever Anakin and Isabel want to spend a night out on the town….sure...we love watching the children." He waits for Palpatine to take his turn. "How about you?"

"He says he doesn't trust me. Do you believe that? I don't know why. He's still holding that attempted kidnapping over my head. Li-An was sound asleep and has no recollection of that silly incident. Anakin can't take a joke. Oh, and you know what he said to me? I was never around when he was growing up."

"Well, you weren't."

"I was a busy man. I had an entire legion to command, I had things to do."

Nakai waits for Palpatine to line up his ball. He has a smirk on his face as he waits patiently for the old Sith to choose a club.

"Right….Moons to blow up, Star systems to evaporate, governments to conquer."

"You don't have to be so judgmental, Nakai. You disowned your own daughter once. You thought she was too good for my son."

"Well, at least she never had to live in poverty. I've made peace with Anakin. He's a good man."

"Alright, alright! Leave me alone! I'm trying to concentrate here. Elan! Hand me my 9 iron."

Nakai leans on his club and watches Palpatine snatch a club from Elan's hand.

"Are you sure you want a nine iron for that?"

"Listen, I know what I'm doing, hot shot." He taps the ball. It goes in. "Ha!"

As he turns to gloat, the ball inexplicably pops back out of the hole and rolls back onto the green four feet. Both men are shocked. Palpatine is not pleased.

"What the…" Palpatine tries to make the ball go in again. It rolls back on the green. This happens several times. At times, the ball never reaches the hole; instead, it rolls in a circle then back and forth causing an agitated Palpatine to try to control it with his putter. Nakai is thoroughly amused. He leans over to look into the hole.

"What's in there a scurrier? A gopher?"

"Ahhhh…Blasted!"

"You need to calm down, D.P."

Neither man sees what is causing this. Qui-Gon is standing near the hole directing the ball with the Force and laughing. Mace is playing along.

'_Man, this is funny as hell. Roll it out again. I want to see the paleface old goat throw a fit.'_

'_This is hilarious, but let's not get carried away. Ani will get annoyed.'_

'_He's always annoyed. Hell, I'll do it! Look at this mofo, mad as hell. I love messin' with this old fool.'_

Mace causes the ball to rise and hover over the hole.

Elan caddies for the two men all over the course. Mace and Qui-Gon follow the two men for the entire 18-hole course. Ayala decides not to join them. She is enjoying being with little Ana Lena back at the house. Master Ki-Adi Mundi has been summoned away for a special assignment.

Obi-Wan tees off first. Luke follows the path of the ball. The senior Jedi Master easily scores an eagle.

"Wow! Impressive, Ben.

"Not bad for an old Jedi, eh, Luke?"

"I never had a doubt, Obi-Wan."

Han looks out on the fairway. He uses his hand to shield his eyes from the glare of the sun.

"Well, I sure had my doubts but you shut me up fast."

"We all know how tough that is, Han….for you to shut up."

"Let's see how you fair."

Han takes his turn. The ball sails far but not as far as Obi-Wan's. Leia tilts her head to consider Han's swing.

"Not bad, cowboy…could be better."

"Okay, princess, let's see how you do."

"Watch and learn." She tees off, sending the ball flying. She scores an eagle. Han makes a face as she smiles and pretends to be modest. "Wow…beginner's luck, eh? How about that?"

Han is skeptical.

"Are you sure you didn't use a little of that Jedi voodoo?"

"Are you calling me a cheat?"

"Alright, take it easy, your worship! You're so sensitive."

"Jealous?"

"No…not me…I'm secure in my manhood. I'm not bothered by a chick…I mean woman. Still…you don't have to be a showoff."

Leia smiles to herself and walks in front of him. Luke meanwhile is bouncing his golf ball with his club. He is standing off to the apron of the green on his mobile phone. He keeps his voice to a whisper but he knows he should not be on a call at all.

"…Mar, I said I was going to stop by. We re just spending the morning with my parents…they love their gift….they're out on the course now having a great time…listen, I've got to go…Leia's giving me the evil eye for talking." He smiles and waves to Leia. She rolls her eyes.

"Luke, it's your turn…get off the phone, you know you're not supposed to be doing that."

"I'm coming…geez"

Luke is still balancing the ball with his club then swings back as the ball hovers. He knocks it into the fairway scoring a hole in one. He turns to his sister and gives her a sly wink and a smile then heads for the cart. Han throws up his arms.

"Kid, you're a showoff. You know…this is not going to be a fair game, right?"

Leia pats him on the back with her gloved hand.

"Relax, Solo, we're here to have fun."

Meanwhile, at the ninth hole, Anakin and Isabel are heading to their cart.

"You got a 5, right?"

"Yes, Anakin. Don't cheat me on my score."

"Don't you trust me?"

"No. I should be home preparing for my dinner guests, not out here wasting time on this silly game."

"You're just mad 'cause you suck at this."

"I have played before."

"When?"

"Never mind."

After some time, the couple catches up with General Tagge and Moff Jerjerrod. Anakin smiles as he gets out of his cart.

"Good morning, gentlemen."

The two men nod acknowledging the arrival of the couple. General Tagge turns his attention back to his game. Anakin watches him. He leans on his club and smiles as the general is about to tee off. Tagge still has that same strange haircut from and his pasty skin has a few red blotches from the sun. Anakin remembers what a pill he was to work with not too long ago.

"Hey, Whitey, where's your hat?"

Tagge grumbles to himself them gives Anakin an icy stare.

"Do you mind, sir, I'm trying to tee off."

"I'll bet you a hundred credits you slice it into the woods."

"Gambling is illegal at Coral Springs, sir, and I never slice." Tagge swings his club and slices the ball into the woods. "Bloody hell!"

"Okay, you owe me."

Tagge turns to Anakin with an air of haughty distain.

"I owe you nothing."

"I could beat you with one good arm."

"That's impossible!"

"Well, how about teams, then. I'll take my lovely wife here, and you can have Grand Muffy Geritol over there"

"I beg your pardon? I don't believe you heard me the first time when I stated that gambling is not tolerated here…"

Anakin interrupts him.

"Tut-tut…Listen, I just want to play and start a friendly competition."

"Not much competition. If your wife's bad aim is any indication of her playing, then I believe my partner and I could easily beat you. Jer, let's indulge Mr. Skywalker for a couple of holes."

Anakin grins.

"So we're on?"

"If you have the nerve."

Isabel is not so sure about this. She taps her husband and whispers.

"Anakin, are you insane? I'm not a golfer. I can't do this. Besides, it's illegal to wager."

"Take it easy, Bel, I'm a man who is used to taking chances. I just want to have a bit of fun with these two jerks. I don't expect you to win us any points. I just want to mess with this guy."

"Then we can go home?"

"Yes. I promise."

Anakin walks over to the two men.

"Okay, here it is…I want to apologize for challenging you. It was inappropriate for me to underestimate your abilities."

"I demand satisfaction."

"Oh…and how shall we do this?"

"It's beneath me to submit to your gambling ways but I would be satisfied with a wager…just between us gentlemen and the lady."

"Oh, she doesn't gamble. I'm the heathen in my family. I'll tell you what's satisfying…credits. I'll shoot the remaining holes for ten thousand credits."

"No…I'm not going for that. Let your wife do it."

"What?"

Tagge and Jerjerrod look at one another with devious grins. Jerjerrod speaks up.

"Let her play."

Anakin is annoyed but agrees.

"Fine."

"Ladies first."

"Honey, go ahead."

"Promise you won't be mad if I don't get it?"

"The better you do, the earlier we can get home."

Isabel tees off. Everyone looks up. Anakin closes his eyes. He does not want to see this ten thousand-credit nightmare. Isabel prepares herself mentally for a miserable ride home with a grumpy husband.

"Damn!"

"Oh, 'eff'."

"Oh dear."

Moff Jerjerrod mutters to himself.

"Beginner's luck. No matter, This won't last long."

Anakin smiles. He does not believe what he sees.

"Come on, honey, you can do it. Big money! Daddy needs a new lightsaber!"

She scores another eagle. Anakin is thrilled. He cheers her on.

"Think shoes, honey!"

This happens three times. Isabel jumps up and down like a giddy cheerleader.

"Alright! This crappy game is kind of fun."

Moff Jerjerrod whispers to an annoyed General Tagge.

"I thought you said she couldn't hit the ball."

"Shut up. This won't last long."

Meanwhile, over at the14th hole, Nakai and Palpatine are putting. Things are not going well. By the time they reach the 19th hole, Nakai has scored more points than the old Sith.

They head back to the clubhouse. Palpatine barks orders at Elan.

"Elan, hurry up and gather my gear!"

"Ok, Master."

Nakai walks over and hands Elan a tip.

"Thanks a lot, Kid. Keep your nose clean."

"Gee, thanks, Mr. Nor!"

Elan stuffs the wad of cash in his pocket. He drops Palpatine's golf bag and carries Nakai's equipment to his speeder. Luke, Obi-Wan, Han and Leia return, and are preparing to leave. They see Palpatine calling Elan.

"Elan! I demand that you return immediately and take my equipment!"

Luke is laughing. He walks over and gathers the old man's equipment.

"I got that."

"Why, thank you, Luke. It's true; you can always depend on family."

Leia rolls her eyes.

"We're in a hurry to get back home."

She sees her father heading back with Isabel close behind. A caddy helps load their golf bags into their YUV. She also notices he is counting money. General Tagge and Moff Jerjerrod are fuming as they return to the clubhouse.

"I can't believe he won ten thousand credits!"

"I didn't know she was going to play so well. Blasted Skywalkers."

Leia walks over to her father as they head for their vehicle.

"I should have known you'd try to gamble on the golf course."

"I was baited. Anyway, they were betting against Isabel."

"Oh, sure…and you're an innocent angel."

Anakin flashes a smile then gets behind the wheel.

"The temptation was too much."

"So…how much did you win, Dad?"

"Just pocket change."

"What's pocket change?"

"Ten thousand."

Leia gets in the vehicle and shouts but no one outside can hear her because the windows are closed.

"Ten thousand? What happened, they piss you off or something?"

"Stop yelling at me. They ridiculed your mother's golfing skills. I had to defend her honor."

"You're incorrigible. She's not going to forget about her shoe money."

Everyone heads home. Luke has to make a stop. He arrives at the Jade home.

Maggie Jade answers the door. She is dressed in a red two-piece stretch pants outfit and a white parka with boga feather-lined hood and matching white furry earmuffs. The tags are still on it indicating a Befana Eve gift. She is wearing red satin slipper pumps with red bantha fur pompoms.

"Ohh…my goodness! Hello, handsome stranger! It's so good to see you." She gives him a hug and a kiss leaving a red lipstick mark on his cheek. He almost suffocates in her new parka as she holds him so close. Between her sweet perfume and the coat, Luke is certain he is being drained of his life force.

"Happy Befana Morning, Mrs. Jade."

"Same to you, Luke honey. Mara's upstairs. Come on in, sweetheart."

"Nice jacket. Befana Eve gift?"

"Oh, yes. Vic gave it to me. You really like it?" She models for him.

"Yes, Ma'm. It suits you."

"Well aren't you the sweetest thing? Thank you."

"Oh this is for you and Mrs. Jade."

He remembers to pick up the large gift basket he has placed on their doorstep. He hands it to Maggie. The gift basket filled with holiday wine, champagne, caviar, fruit, chocolates cheeses, and crackers.

"Luke, honey, how beautiful! You shouldn't have, but I'm glad you did. Have a seat. Vic! Guess who's here?…Mara's nice young man." She tickles Luke on the chin. He blushes. Mara's father walks in from the family room. He has been watching a rugby game.

"Hey, Luke. How are you? Come on back and join us. We're watching the game on the new plasma."

Luke follows him into the den when Mara's two brothers; her uncle, a cousin, and a family friend are gathered.

"You know my sons, Vic Junior, and Mikey…."

Vic Junior nods and greets Luke then focuses his attention back on the game.

"Hey, how you doin'?"

Vic continues the introductions.

"Over here is Mara's Uncle Paulie, cousin Frank Nitti, and Vic Junior's godfather Joey Bagadonats."

"Hey, how you doin' Lui?"

"It's just Luke."

Joey Bagadonats disregards Luke's reply.

"Okay, Luca."

Uncle Paulie pats an empty spot on the overstuffed mott leather sectional sofa.

"Hey, Luco, come over here, have a sit down, you look like youz got stress. Don't mind Frankie, he always looks intense…he's nearsighted. I keep telling him to get glasses 'cause he scares people. He tells me, _'Uncle Paulie, nobody respects people who wear glasses. Hell, I don't respect people who wear glasses. I would be disrespecting myself._' Vic Junior, bring over a clean glass and that bottle of _shipley_ wine."

Luke tries to decline but Mara's uncle won't hear of it.

"No thanks, sir…I'm good."

"What? You dating my little niece and goddaughter Mara Rosanna Costanza and you can't have a drink wit us? Sit down, Blondie. You're too tense. Here…take a drink. This is good _Shipley_ wine made in the old country."

Luke watches as Uncle Paulie pours the wine then sets the bottle on the coffee table. Luke has never heard of this wine so he glances at the label. He sees the name of the wine _'Chablis di Corellia' Imported by Vino di San Pazzo'._

Luke rolls his eyes. He quickly takes a sip when Mara's uncle Paulie speaks to him.

"Good stuff, huh?"

"Uhmmm…never had anything like it. Thank you" Luke closes his eyes. He feels the less than stellar wine burn his throat as he swallows. He starts to cough but quickly recovers and clears his throat. "So…is Mara coming down?"

"What's your hurry?"

"No hurry…well, actually I'm taking her to my parent's house for dinner."

Uncle Paulie laughs.

"Ohh…look at you…Hey, Vic, young Luigi here is waiting for Mara." He looks at Luke again. "You good to her?"

"Uhmm…yes, sir"

Maggie Jade walks in sipping a pera cosmos.

"Luke, don't let Uncle Paulie frighten you, honey. He's really just a great big cuddly Ewok."

Family friend Joey Bagadonats finally speaks to Luke.

"So, what's your family do?"

"Uhmmm, well, my dad is Executive Chief of the Military."

"Get out! Really? So, does your dad have any ships he wants to sell?"

"I don't think so."

Maggie calls over to Joey.

"Little Joe, leave the boy alone. His father is a respected government official. Frank, stop staring at Luke. Here, have a piece of fruit from the nice basket he brought over."

Frank grabs a golden delicious apple. He looks at Luke then takes out a switchblade. He flips it open. Luke is praying the knife is not meant for him. Frank proceeds to peel the apple. Maggie smiles. She is satisfied that all is well.

"Good isn't it, Frankie? …Luke, Frankie just loves fresh fruit."

Maggie Jade returns to the living room and stands at the bottom of the stairs. She calls Mara.

"Mara! Mara, get a move-on, sweetie, and your young beau is here. He brought us a lovely gift basket."

"Alright! I'm coming!"

Mara finally makes an appearance. She comes downstairs wearing a white velour one-piece leotard with a white furry off the shoulder neckline. A platinum chain belt hangs on her hips. A pair of white shearling Hoth boots covers her feet.

"Hey, Lu, how are you?"

"Good, thanks."

"Sorry to keep you waiting. You look petrified…I take it you met the rest of the family."

"Oh…uhmm…yeah."

"I thought so. Sorry about that."

"We chatted…I had some wine."

"You know, you could have refused. I'll get my jacket and then we can go."

"Ready…oh, I have your gift."

"Oh! Luke! You shouldn't have…aaaah! I'm so excited! What is it? No, don't tell me!"

Mara reminds Luke of a redheaded maniac as she jumps up and down, her silken red tresses bouncing as she shakes her head with glee. She rips off the bow and wrapping like a rabid nexu. "Oh, Luke! It's beautiful…I promise I'll never call you 'Lu-Lu' again…I respect you now."

"Gee, thanks, Mar."

"Oh, here's your gift."

She practically tosses the gift to him. He fumbles trying to catch the small package. He opens it. It is a crystal card key with a holograph of the two of them ago imbedded in the card taken during the infamous plasma ball game a few years.

"Wow, thanks, Mara. It's perfect."

"I knew you would love it. Help me with this. Oh, Rocca and the girls are going to be so jealous. She better pay me a nice compliment or our friendship is over."

She turns and piles her hair up on top of her head. Luke can't help but comment on her last remark.

"Oh, I got one for each of them too."

"What?"

"I'm joking, Mara. Relax. Turn around….There. You look almost civilized now."

Mara looks in the mirror under the stairway. It is a platinum necklace with a white Geonosian emerald.

"Thank you, Luke. You're so good to me…I'll put off beating the crap out of you for insulting me just now."

"I'm looking forward to it."

Mara walks into the living room to show her parents.

"Mom, Dad, look what Luke gave me for Befana Eve!"

"Oh, Mara, it's gorgeous! Can I borrow it to the New Year's bacchanal?"

"Mom! No way!"

Vic Jade kisses his daughter.

"It looks stunning on you, baby. Luke knows my little girl don't come cheap."

"Oh, he knows. Well, we had better leave. I don't want Cousin Frankie to see it and get any ideas."

Mara laughs as Maggie gives Luke a goodbye smooch.

"Okay, sweetie. Luke, you handsome devil. You kids be good."

"Yes, Mrs. Jade."

Luke and Mara finally leave the house. Mara laughs as she cleans the red lipstick from his face.

The Skywalker home demonstrates a different celebratory atmosphere. The Nor and Skywalker children clamor to sit on Uli Jenson's lap as Gladys and Ouisanne dote on the new baby. The rest of the Nor family arrives and joins in on the festive day.

The children are wrapping garland around Threepio. Artoo giggles as the hapless protocol droid falls victim to another silly prank instigated by Han. He tells the kids that Threepio is the Befana Maypole.

Palpatine invites Lorian Nod over to the house. His old friend had no place to go for the holidays so Anakin allowed him to come join the family. Lorian is a funny old man.

After his fall from grace with the Jedi and then a long running feud, and being stabbed in the back by the late Count Dooku, Lorian is enjoying his senior years at the retirement home. Although he has made new friends there, he prefers to be around the young people. He is more lighthearted than Palpatine. Lorian is at a stage in his life where he did not care what others thought. He just wanted to be happy. Palpatine could learn a thing or two from him. That is one reason Anakin did not mind having him there.

The two old men enjoy an eggnog-drinking contest with Obi-Wan. The aging Jedi livens up things by spiking the beverage with Glen Finn Loch whisky. It is hilarious to see an inebriated Palpatine stand on the patio wall reciting soliloquies from classic Naboo literature. By late evening, they are gathered around the piano singing show tunes and old Tatooine spirituals.

Isabel, Aunt Bunny, Isabel's friend Lara, and a few relatives from the Nor family chat about the morning's golf outing and laugh.

Isabel fans out the ten thousand credits she won at golf. Anakin knew this would keep her at bay for the next several weeks while he finds refuge in his study watching the pod races. On Isabel's finger is a rare Hoth diamond found in abandoned Wampa caves. Anakin purchased it and had it cut to his specifications. It is one of the first rings ever made since an old jeweler discovered a book describing the ancient trend.

Han, thinking in the same vein; gives Leia an amber diamond bracelet; a symbol of a promise of a future together. Leia is relieved it is not 'the big announcement.' She wants more time to develop in her career. This is good enough for now.

Anakin stands in the garden looking at this joyous family gathering. It is beautiful. It's a wonderful life. Alex looks up from the starship set he has been playing with around the tree. He sees the bell ring in the archway leading to the dining room. He calls to his father and points to the bell ringing clear and softly.

"Daddy! Look!"

Anakin scoops Alex up in his arms.

"Yes, I see, Alex."

"Every time a bell rings, a Jedi Angel gets his wings."

"That's true."

Aayla Secura smiles and looks up at the clock. Qui-Gon Jinn, who has been enjoying a day of taunting the former Emperor, joins her. Master Mace Windu sits in the window dayroom overlooking the garden.

'_Do you 'effing' believe this? How can someone be late for an event like this? It's disrespectful to the cause.'_

_Qui-Gon quips, 'If anyone deserves the honor, it would be me.'_

Mace responds.

'_Who knew that performing one act would be enough to make you a saint?'_

'_Apparently, all of my work wasn't enough.'_

Aayla speaks.

'_Well, fair is fair…Alex got his wish.'_

Suddenly there is a thumping sound, like someone running in a hurry.

'_Hi, guys.'_

'_Hi, Ki-Adi-Mundi.' _They say this with the usual lack of enthusiasm. The ghostly spirit appears winded.

'_Sorry I'm late…I thought the family was getting together for dinner.'_

Mace shakes his head in disbelief.

'_It's an all day thing, Ki-Adi. Obi-Wan already gave a toast, the alcoholic bastard. How could you be late for your induction into sainthood celebration?'_

'_I thought someone was yanking my chain.'_

'_Hell, so did we! You know you're the one who managed to talk Anakin into being baptized. Even Qui-Gon couldn't do that. Miracle of Miracles!'_

'_Well, if he was more serious-minded…'_

Qui-Gon is offended.

'Serious-minded? You've got nerve. Anyway, doesn't the criterion for sainthood stipulate that you have to perform three miracles?'

Mace shouts out.

'_What is it, being late for ever 'mofo' thing? 'Cause he sure isn't on time. Now that would be a miracle!'_

Qui-Gon continues his tirade. He is still on the defensive.

'_That's right! It's not as if you've got a lot going on Ki-Adi. There's no excuse for being late.' _He mocks the tardy ghost. _'Well, if he were more serious-minded…give me a bloody break!'_

Ki-Adi waves his hand at his three ghostly comrades, dismissing their remarks

'_You're all just jealous. Envy is one of the deadly sins you know.'_

Mace looks at him.

'_..So what's your point?"'_

Qui-Gon speaks up.

'_We're not jealous…you rushing in here all winded and confused. Why are you out of breath? I never heard of an out of breath ghost. You shouldn't be out of breath; you shouldn't be out of anything at all! So, what were the other two miracles that 'ghostly-come lately' perform?'_

Aayla runs down the list.

Miracle #1

The holy water for the big baptismal font was taken from the place where Ki-Adi was assassinated on Mygeeto. The spot where he fell to his death formed a trench. The trench filled with water and formed into what is referred to as the _'Lake of Knowledge'_ The legend says a village idiot brought his donkey for a drink after a long journey from the marketplace. The donkey began to speak. 'Drink from the lake and you will have infinite knowledge,' said the donkey. The village idiot, skeptical of the talking animal, refused. From that day forward, the village idiot suffered great misfortune because he would not take orders from a 'smartass.' The St. Ki-Adi medal protects unfortunate idiots from smart donkeys. The lake is now called 'Le Lac des Deux Cerveaux'. Parents send their kids to the lake a week before midterms. It's called the _'Pilgrimage of The Dumb Bunnies.'_

Miracle #2

Saint Ki-Adi-Mundi, the Patron Saint of Runners – Though the Jedi attempted to put up a defense, he was overwhelmed by the gunfire and killed. It wasn't much of a defense. He ran like the dickens when Commander Bacara and his marines opened fire on the Jedi Master. Athletes who wear this medal pray they make it across the finish line. It is a miracle that they make it. For this occasion, shoe manufacturers design a running shoe to celebrate Ki-Adi's beautification. It is called 'The Saint Mundi Sprinter' with built-in blaster shot sound effects to 'motivate' the runner.

Miracle #3

The Jedi Master appears before Anakin on night after being late for a get-together with his fellow Jedi Force Ghosts in the garden of the Skywalker home. With no one to talk to, he encounters Anakin on the terrace. He sensed the dark lord had been stressing over little Alex and the child's concern for his father.

The discussion is awkward. The two never spent much time chatting in life. Ki-Adi breaks the ice:

'_So, where is everyone?'_

"Everyone who?"

'_Qui-Gon, Aayla, Mace…'_

"They're long gone."

'_So, how are you doing, Ani?'_

"I'm fine.You?"

'_Still dead. Never felt better….so…how's it going?'_

"Fine."

'_Kids okay?'_

"Yep."

'_Alex is worried about you.'_

"Alex is fine. "

'_Why don't you do it, Ani?'_

"Do what? Oh…that…He's a child…he'll get over it."

'_Will he? _You're a good person, Ani. Do the right thing.'

"Will you get off my back about it?"

'_I promise. Come pray with me.'_

"What? No!"

'_Don't you want to be saved? You want to go to heaven, don't you? How are you going to feel when the rest of your family is in heaven and you're in the bowels of hell?'_

"I've been there, it ain't pretty."

'_Then take hold of my robe, Ani. Take a journey with me.'_

Anakin giggles.

"Sorry. You just remind me of a story I read to my children."

'_That was a book. This is real. Let's get serious for a moment.'_

"Okay, okay…fine." Anakin takes hold of the ghostly Jedi robe. They revisit aspects of Anakin's life. Anakin had almost forgotten those times. Some are painful moments that the Jedi Force Ghost makes him face.

Anakin wipes away a tear when they return to the garden that evening. He is ready for a change. Life is beautiful and he wants to take part in it.

Qui-Gon holds up his hands in surrender.

'_Alright, alright, Ki-Adi, you win. I admit you have preformed a miracle. Anyone who can make Ani cry like a little girl gets my vote. I'm going to start showing up late for 'sith' and start performing some miracles. Ki-Adi, you're an idiot miracle savant. My hat goes off to you…if I had one.'_

'_Thank you, Master Jedi.'_

Mace walks over to Ki-Adi-Mundi,

'_Hell, I could have been up for sainthood. Look at all the crap I did while I was alive.'_

'_Maybe if you clean up the language, Mace…'_

'_What did you say? Hell, there's not a 'mofo' thing wrong with the way I talk. That's a bunch of bantha-sith. You haven't heard me curse enough. I would tell off every 'mofo' sob in this g'damned place…sith! When do I 'effing' use bad language?'_

'_All the time.'_

'_When else?' _Silence._ 'That's what I thought! I rest my 'mofo' case! Any questions?'_

The four Force Ghosts continue to bicker. Anakin sits back and smiles. Skippy is at his side.

This is what Befana Eve and Befana Day means to Anakin, a big family gathering, lots of friends and a Force Ghost support network. The nosy, complaining, judgmental, gutter-mouth, and, yes, tardy Jedi Ghosts. He wouldn't change any part of it…until tomorrow when everyone needs to get the hell out of his house!

_To be continued… 'When I grow up, in a year or two…' Reprise_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter of this family saga. In the meantime, I hope you are enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	124. Chapter 124 Daddy, Take a Bow

_Chapter 124_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_'When I grow up, in a year or two…' Reprise_

'_Ana Lena, The Musical'_

_The New Republic's Secret Weapon: The Little Girl Who Launched a Thousand Starships'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Time passes. The passing months and years are chock full of milestones. Luke is on his way to another promotion with the Jedi Order. Leia is working on an important case study involving a displaced family. She is in the process of reuniting them She also welcomes advice and guidance from Isabel, her mentor and biggest supporter in her career. Alex is becoming a master at languages. Threepio proves to be an excellent tutor.

The younger Skywalker boys have been ignoring their little sister. Ana Lena doesn't spend much time with her older brothers. Alex and Li-An rarely include her in their playtime. She cries and runs to her father. Anakin is good at getting the boys to play with their little sister. Li-An is protective of his sister as long as she does not bother him during playtime.

Li-An, then Alex get their first tooth pulled. Anakin is an expert at this since his first experience with the twins. Anakin tells the children that the great big Wampa Tooth Monster with pay 20 credits per tooth. In the middle of the night, he sends Palpatine in the room to make the exchange. Traumatized, they spend time with their little sister the next day.

Palpatine is making his feature film debut. Critics are lining up to trash the production. Hit men are lining up to assassinate him during the premiere. Sly Moore pays him a surprise visit.

One of the greatest moments for Anakin is when Ana Lena takes her first steps. Palpatine almost ruins the moment when he rushes into Anakin's study. He calls the baby to come to him. Anakin is about to murder the old Sith but Ana Lena know who the favorite man in her life is.

Anakin accompanies her to every doctor's appointment and 'Daddy & Me' event. She is his 'good luck charm' when he bets on his pod racing games. They can be holed up in his study for hours as he and his gambling pals tune in for the popular sporting event.

It has been three years since that joyous Befana Eve and the festivities that follow. Anakin enjoys chauffeuring the children to and from school, to Youngling training at the Jedi Temple and ballet class at the Coruscant Galaxies Opera House and Performing Arts Complex. He tells Isabel he wants to do his fair share of child rearing and she should have more quality time for herself. On occasion, he would take them to work. Isabel knows better. There is always an ulterior motive but he truly adores his children.

Without advance notice, he would reschedule or cut short a meeting with the officers of the Starfleet. He would send out a memo on a Friday for the 501st Legion to be ready to perform maneuvers for their leader on Monday. At other times, he would alert his officers to prepare their troops for inspection in the docking bay in the morning. This annoys the officers because Anakin will suddenly cancel the request and the commanders would have to send the men back to their assigned stations. Anakin thinks it is hilarious that the commanders are angry about this but in his mind, they should be prepared at a moment's notice, they're soldiers!

Ana Lena would accompany her father to the office at least twice a week. Sometimes he will bring her into the boardroom. 'Little Miss Entertainment' can soften the coldest hearts. When Anakin senses the officers turning on him during a heated debate he brings in reinforcements. Anakin always sits her in the big chair at the head of the table. The officers dare not offend Anakin in her presence.

Darling little Ana Lena in her yellow coat over a yellow pleated smocked dress, a satin ribbon in her hair, her matching Mary Jane shoes, and the white anklets with embroidered ducks around the edges is the vision of innocence and purity. They would arrive with great fanfare. Anakin would enter the building holding his daughter's hand. Just the sight of her would make a hardened bounty hunter cry.

On one occasion, she enters the building with her father. The infamous background music begins to play:

'_Da-dum-dadum Da-da dum...da-da dum...Da-dum- dadum da da dum...Da-da dum _

_Da-da dum...' _

It swells as he crosses the lobby.Usually it continues untill he steps into the express elevator to the executive offices. This time, however, there is a fadeout and transition to a tune none of the soldiers have ever heard. The melody is upbeat, cheerful. The guards and soliers are drawn to it like the Frankenstein creature is to the sound of a violin:

On the starship  
lollipop  
its a sweet trip  
to the toy droid shop  
where Jawa's play,  
on the Dune beach  
near docking bay  
Lemonade stands,  
everywhere  
Imperial bands,  
fill the air,  
and there you are,  
happy landings on a chocolate barge…

The lobby guards stand at attention through the Imperial March and the cheerful tune that follows. One guard finds it difficult to resist and actually begins tapping his foot, bouncing his head from side to side.

The former Dark Lord notices the guard's break in formation. Anakin abruptly stops in his tracks about ten feet away after passing him. He makes an immediate about-face stopping in front of the guard. The guard realizes what he has done. He panics and stops. Anakin addresses him in a low and serious voice.

"Soldier?"

"Y-yes, your lordship?"

"Did I feel you tapping your feet?"

"Uhmm…yes…your lordship…"

There is a long silence. It feels like an eternity. He is waiting for the ominous hum of that deadly lightsaber. Beads of perspiration begin pouring down the unfortunate soldier's neck soaking his collar. Suddenly he manages to hear a command by the former Dark Lord.

"As you were, Soldier. It's refreshing to see someone responding in a positive way."

"Yes, my lordship."

The guard salutes him. Anakin continues onward. Ana Lena follows her father. She turns and sneaks a peek at the soldier. She smiles. He discreetly winks at her. He continues to tap his foot to the music.

Ana Lena catches up to her father and tugs at his long black overcoat and whispers as he leans over.

"He's got happy feet, Daddy."

"Yes, he does, baby. It's all because of you."

The elevator attendant holds the door for them.

Gladys is always thrilled to see the Skywalker children. She always keeps a bowl of treats for them on her desk.

"There's my little girl! How's little Ana-Le?"

"Fine."

Her father removes her coat. Gladys takes it for him.

"What a lovely doll. Who gave that to you?"

"Babbo Befana."

"Isn't she pretty? You're going to help your daddy at work today?"

"Yes."

"Well, isn't that nice; and what a beautiful little dress you're wearing."

Ana Lena looks down at the exquisitely made cotton dress.

"Thank you. My nana Ouisanne gave it to me."

"Well, you look beautiful…like a little doll."

Gladys smiles up at Anakin. He shrugs and smiles back. His mother-in-law got her fashion clutches on his little baby girl. He has to admit, however, his baby girl looks adorable.

"Daddy, what's that?"

Ana Lena points to the plaques on the wall next to his office door. Anakin glances at the infamous citations attached to the wall by his eldest daughter.

"They're awards."

"What kind of awards, Daddy?"

Anakin was hoping his answer would have sufficed but now she wants to know adjectives. Al sorts of thoughts run through his mind. Must be that nursery school for advanced children. _'Reading is Fundamental'_ my eye! Stupid slogan. Totally unnecessary for a three-year old. Damned school!

Finally, he thinks of an answer.

"They're for stellar achievement as a team player."

"What team, Daddy?"

"All sorts of teams, Honey. Go sit down. Rest yourself."

"I'm learning to read. Let me guess what it says."

She is still too small to reach the lowest plaques but she can make out some of the letters. She stands back and attempts to sound out each word.

"…For…ex…ex-em… What's that word, Daddy?"

"(Sighs)…exemplary, Sweetie. Let's go."

"But I want to practice reading. I want to tell the teacher what all your prizes say."

"No time."

"Gladys will help me, she's a nice lady."

"Gladys is a busy woman. She doesn't have time to pronounce all these words for you. Gladys, don't help her, you work for me."

Just then, the phone on Gladys' desk rings. Two lines are lit. She picks it up and speaks to the caller. She looks up to get Anakin's attention.

"Mr. Skywalker, it's Admiral Ozzel…he's on his way up to see you and Captain Needa wants to speak to you."

Praise the Lord the Lord! Saved by 'Ma Bell!'

"Thanks, Gladys. I'll take it in my office. Ana-Le, stay with Gladys."

"Ok, Daddy."

He walks into his office and closes the door. Ana-Lena obeys her father. Her eyes are fixed on the numerous plaques. She is so proud of him. She wants to tell all of her friends in her nursery school class how popular her father is. She climbs a chair to get a good look at the other citations. Gladys makes her sit with her at the desk. The phones are ringing non-stop now. The exterior door opens. Admiral Ozzel walks in.

"Good morning, Mrs. Jensen. It's a lovely day today."

"Yes, it is, Admiral. His lordship is in his office on a call. He'll be with you shortly."

"Thank you. And who is this?"

"Oh, This is Ana-Lena Skywalker. Ana Lena, This is Admiral Ozzel. He works for your father."

The admiral smiles faintly. He does not wish to be referred to as Anakin's 'employees but so be it. He looks down at the small child and tries to be friendly.

"Well, hello, Little Miss. Visiting your father, are you?"

"Yes, I am."

The telephone rings again. While Gladys is tending to the call, Ozzel quietly paces the reception area. He notices Ana Lena leave her chair and walks over to the plaque display. She stands in the chair near the wall points at the plaque.

"What's that say?"

The admiral walks over and stands behind her.

"Well, this one says, _'Fulfillment of 12 Step Anger Management Program Awarded to Anakin Skywalker'…"_

"What's this one say?"

Ozzel is slightly amused by the collection. He and the other officers who would stop by Anakin's office for meetings got quite a kick out of the citations. Ozzel had not seen them for some time so looking at them now brought back memories. He was actually the reason for at least one or two of them. It was when Anakin was on his 'Force-choking streak.' He gets a guilty pleasure in reading each one.

"This one says, _'Workplace Anger Management Workshop.'_ and this one says, _'Yearly Anger Management Certification'_, this one says _'For Exemplary Demonstration in Anger and Stress Management in the Workplace…'_

Gladys ends her telephone conversation. She hurries over to take Ana Lena off the chair but it is too late. Anakin opens the door to his office and sees the three still in eyeshot of the plaque display. He feels betrayed. Ozzel is waiting for the wrath to set in. He stands at attention.

"Admiral, great, you're here. Step inside."

The hapless admiral follows Anakin into the office. Anakin sees his daughter look into his eyes before he closes the door. She clings to her doll.

A few minutes later, the two men emerge. Ozzel is smiling nervously as he leaves the office. Ana Lena turns in her chair.

"What a lovely child she is, Sir."

"Thank you, Admiral."

"Mrs. Jensen, it's a pleasure as always. Goodbye, little Miss."

Ana Lena smiles.

"Goodbye."

Anakin releases a sigh. After Ozzel is gone, Anakin summons his daughter inside.

"Ok, milady, you may come in now."

She walks inside her father's office. Once inside she sets her doll on the couch and walks to the window. As soon as she hears the door closed she speaks. She is looking at the Jedi Temple in the distance.

"That man was very nice. Daddy, why are you angry?"

He sits at the window with her.

"What? Who said that?"

"The prizes on the wall. Aren't you happy, Daddy?"

"I'm thrilled. Why are you doing this? Did your sister spend time with you yesterday?"

"Oh, yes! She and Han took me to the ice cream palace."

"I should have known. She's got you brainwashed."

"What's that? Mommy washed me this morning. See? My hair is clean."

Anakin sighs then makes her scoot over closer to him.

"A long time ago I was an angry person. It took me a long time, but I got better, I started feeling better about myself. I used to be afraid but not anymore."

"Are you happy?"

"I'm happy, baby."

"I love you, Daddy."

"I love you too, sweetie. Movie star kiss."

She kisses her father.

Gladys pages him to pick up the phone.

"Mr. Skywalker, Governor Tarkin is on the line. And the reports for your meeting are on your table."

"Got it. Thank you, Gladys. Ana-Le, come over here and sit with, Daddy."

"You need help, Daddy?"

"Sure, sweetie. Here are some colored pens. I'll get you your coloring book. Oh, I have a call. I'll be with you in a sec."

Anakin takes the call. Ana Lena gathers the colored marking pens and climbs on the couch. Anakin is on the phone longer than expected. Ana Lena is becoming bored. She looks around then sees something. She busies herself while her father is on the phone.

When Anakin ends the call, he pushes his chair away from the desk and walks over to the small conference table. Ana Lena has made herself 'busy' as she straightens the stack of reports. Anakin helps her down from the chair.

"I helped straighten the books, Daddy. They look pretty now. I fixed them."

"Good job. Thank you, Sweetie. Want to come to a meeting with me?"

"What are we going to talk about?"

"How to make the galaxy safe."

"Oh…like making sure people don't run in the halls?"

"Something like that. Let's go."

He scoops up the stack of reports and heads out the door pass Gladys' desk.

"Well, I see, our little angel is going to a meeting with her father."

"We're going to make the galaxy safe!"

"I know you will, sweetheart."

"Oh, Daddy, I forgot my dolly."

"Executives don't bring dolls to meetings…Oh; alright…bring your doll."

He knows he should not have said this. He doesn't want to make her cry. He holds open the door as she grabs her doll and heads down the hall.

"Bye, Gladys!"

"Bye, Sweetheart!"

Anakin lets her lead for a few minutes. A few soldiers salute him in the hall.

"Ana-Le, do you know where you're going?"

"No, Daddy,"

"Turn left down the hall."

She turns. There are two more soldiers heading in their direction. They are marching in stiff formation. Ana Lena imitates them and winds up behind her father. Anakin arrives at a large sliding door. Inside, several of the officers are in a heated discussion. Tagge is agitated.

"Until this contract is ratified with the recommended amendments, we are vulnerable. Our jobs are on the line here!"

"Dangerous to your Starfleet divisions, Commander, not to mine!"

"The New Republic will continue to maintain a majority rule in the Senate as long as..."

Two guards stand on either side. The doors open. Tagge's embittered discussion is cut short as everyone's attention turns to Tarkin who enters the room followed by Anakin Skywalker. The guards look down when they notice the third person entering. Tarkin interrupts the discussion.

"Relax, gentlemen. Your positions in this military are secure."

"That's impossible! How can you guarantee that?"

Anakin stands at the head of the table.

"The new organizational chart plans you refer to are right here in my hands."

Anakin plops the stack of reports onto the black boardroom table. Tagge responds.

"Is that so?"

"Yes it is. Excuse me."

Anakin turns and leans over. He lifts Ana Lena into the big leather chair. He speaks quietly to her.

"Be a good girl and sit quietly while Daddy has his meeting. Can you do that?"

"Yes, Daddy."

Anakin faces the table. A hostile crowd surrounds him.

"I have prepared a report on our progress since the governmental changes were instituted several years ago. If you pass these down, I will walk you through the changes. I believe that everyone will be satisfied with the new chain of command…" A soldier assists in passing the booklets around the table. Anakin opens his copy. "If you look at the first org chart at the executive tier, you will notice…"

Anakin stops and immediately slams his copy closed. He twists in his chair. He turns behind him and looks at his daughter. She smiles sweetly at him. He faces the table again.

"…Uhmmm…I think I have the wrong books…" He looks back at his daughter in disbelief. This tiny cherubic little darling. Anakin is embarrassed. He nervously runs his fingers through his hair. Suddenly, he notices that Governor Tarkin is smiling. He has never seen him smile…not like this. Once the other officers open their books, it is too late to collect them. The damage is done. Anakin whispers to his daughter.

"Why did you do this?"

"I wanted to make it pretty, Daddy. Now it looks pretty."

Governor Tarkin hears muffled grumbling around the table.

"Calm down, gentlemen…I think this is a day we can all laugh at ourselves for a few minutes. General Tagge, you have more hair than usual on page three…and Admiral Motti, nice floral touch to your uniform."

Anakin scratches his head then closes his book.

"Uhm…Gentlemen, I apologize for the 'creative' content. I should have been a bit more attentive…"

Tarkin turns toward the head of the table. "Well, perhaps we should hear what your budding 'artist' has to say about this."

Anakin looks at his daughter.

"Well? You want to come up here and explain yourself, my little 'editor-in-chief and illustrator'?"

"Do I have to?"

"Don't be afraid. I'm right here."

She hands her doll to one of the guards. He does not quite know what to do with it. Anakin lifts her onto the table. Tarkin, with his hands behind his back turns to the child as she stands before the group in her pretty little dress.

"What do you have to say for yourself, Little Miss?"

"I don't know." Suddenly her eyes light up. "I know! I can sing a song!"

"Why a song?"

"Songs make people happy."

"Very well, sing away."

Ana Lena turns to her father for reassurance. The toddler begins to recite a poem:

I've thrown away my toys,  
Even my dolls and trains;  
I wanna make some noise  
With real live star cruisers.  
Someday I'm going to fly,  
I'll be a pilot too:  
And when I do, how would you  
Like to be my crew?

Ana Lena begins to sing to the hardened Imperial officers:

On the starship  
lollipop  
its a sweet trip  
to the toy droid shop  
where Jawa's play,  
on the Dune beach  
of docking bay  
Lemonade stands,  
everywhere  
Imperial bands,  
fill the air,  
and there you are,  
happy landings on a chocolate barge.  
See the sugar bowl  
do a Tatooine roll  
on a big bad devil-sith cake,  
if you eat too much,  
oh, oh,  
you'll awake,  
with a tummy ache.

On the starship  
lollipop  
it's a nice trip,  
in to bed you hop,  
and dream away,  
on the starship  
lollipop!

The officers smile and bob their heads to the melody. It is as if they are in a trance or under some spell. At the end of the song, she curtsies then runs to the end of the table into her father's arms. The officers applaud and cheer. One of the officers calls to her.

"Sing us another song, Ana Lena."

Anakin interrupts.

"No more singing today. I've already exploited my daughter enough today. As for our scheduled talks, we'll resume this meeting another time."

"We trust whatever decision you make for the military your Lordship. Bye, Ana Lena!"

Anakin grabs her doll. The smitten officers wave goodbye. As they head down the hall back to his office, Ana Lena whispers to her father.

"Did I do good, Daddy?"

"Yes, you did, baby. You saved the day!" He turns his head watching the men leave the conference room. "Suckers!"

That evening at dinner, Anakin gets an earful from his wife.

"No more visits to the office this week, Anakin. She has to be in nursery school."

"Her teacher understood. She was cool about it. I brought her back."

"I mean it. I don't know what you two do there all morning."

Li-An chimes in.

"Oh no…Did she sing again?"

Alex nods his head.

"I bet she did."

Isabel looks at the two boys.

"Eat your supper."

Anakin sips his wine.

"What happened to the dynamic duo this evening?"

"Luke and Mara went to a reception at the Jedi Temple and Leia is busy packing for her trip to Corellia."

"Is Han going with her?"

"No, Anakin, she's going for no good reason. Of course she's going with Han."

"That's what I meant."

"Behave yourself."

Ana Lena calls out from her booster seat.

"Daddy, are you going be in my school pageant?"

"Oh…I'll be in the audience, sweet pea."

"But you have to be with me."

"Why?"

Isabel gives Anakin a dirty look while wiping Alex's face. Alex whines.

"Mom! I can do it myself."

"When were you going to do it, tomorrow? Anakin, you got the memo over a month ago. It's been on her school calendar since the school season started. It's 'Father-Daughter Day' at the school."

Li-An laughs.

"He's not going to do it. He didn't like wearing the Death Star costume at my school pageant 'cause all the kids were poking him with bayonets. That was funny."

Anakin defends himself.

"I didn't know you crazy kids were going to try to destroy me! Those toy bayonets hurt!"

Alex chuckles.

"How about the time he was in my pageant? He was 'Carbonite Man'.

"I was peeling silicone paint off my skin for a week. You kids are dangerous. Where did you get those crazy ideas? I can't believe the school authorized that."

Isabel points her fork at him.

"You're going to be in your daughter's pageant. That's final."

"This is so unfair."

"Oh, cut it out. You're going to be at that pageant."

Two weeks pass. Leia and Luke are home. They go to the school auditorium for the pre-school pageant. Palpatine enters the auditorium. Mara, Han and Isabel's parents are also there. Luke brings his holovid camera. The droids are also there. Threepio is excited.

"Artoo, this is such a thrill! Little Miss is starring in her first pageant."

Artoo chirps in response.

"Well, let's hope he doesn't ruin it for her. She's just a tot. She would be devastated, the little angel."

In the next row, Palpatine and Isabel's grandparents sit and wait. Palpatine taps the shoulder of one of the other parents on who is sitting in front of him.

"Excuse me, Could you move so I can see my little granddaughter?"

"Where would you suggest we move. Sir?"

"Oh…I don't know…out of the auditorium?"

Palpatine feels a hand on his shoulder. It is Leia.

"Listen, old man, if you so much as sneeze during the show today, I'm going to make your life absolutely miserable for the next month. Stop bothering people."

"Well!" Palpatine takes out his opera glasses. Leia rolls her eyes.

Isabel is backstage with Ana Lena. Isabel looks at her watch. There is no sign of Anakin. All the other children are backstage with their parents getting ready. Ana Lena starts to cry.

"Where's my daddy?"

"Honey, I'm sure he's on his way. He'll be here."

Isabel is nervous but tries not to show it. She is waiting to hear Anakin's excuse for missing his daughter's pageant.

Anakin is in the parking lot with Qui-Gon. They are sitting inside the vehicle.

"Qui-Gon, I'm going to suck at this."

'_It's part of being a parent. You've been through this with all the kids. Why is this different?'_

"She expects a lot from me. She thinks…she thinks of me as a god."

Qui-Gon almost laughs out loud. He changes his tone. It is more serious now.

'_Ani, why don't you get out and go into that school to be with your daughter? You know, your wife will never forgive you. Leia won't forgive you. You only got to watch her performance. You're actually in Ana Lena's pageant. You fought for this for over twenty years. Don't turn your back now. Besides…you've got some unexpected guests in the audience. I think you had better make an appearance. If you don't, you'll be sorry.'_

Back inside the school, the teachers give each child a number to determine the order in which they will perform. Leia tells Han that Anakin is late.

"What? What's his problem?"

"I think he's got cold feet. Ana Lena is going to be upset."

Han and Leia go backstage. Han whispers to Leia.

"Listen, I know that song by heart. You've been rehearsing it with her at my place for the past two months. I can't get it out of my head."

"She won't go for it."

"Ask her."

They walk over to the toddler. She looks beautiful in her pink smock dress, matching pink patent leather Mary Jane shoes and pink satin ribbon in her hair. Han kneels before her.

"Ana Lena, princess, do you mind if I dance with you in the pageant today?"

"No, I want my daddy."

"I know all the words to the song."

Someone is standing behind Han.

"That won't be necessary, Solo. Haven't you robbed the cradle already?"

"Oh, hello, sir…I was just…"

"Oh, Daddy!"

Anakin lifts his daughter in his arms.

The teacher hurries over.

"Skywalker, number 12, you're up next."

Leia looks at her father.

"That was a close one, Dad."

"I know. We're good. Go to your seats." He looks at his wife. He mouths the words _'I'm sorry.' _ He tips his head for her to go back into the audience and sit down. He kneels on the floor and smoothes out Ana Lena's dress. "Are you ready, sweet pea?"

"Yes, Daddy."

"Let's do it. Let's show them who the best father and daughter team is."

The curtain opens and the music begins:

**Anakin**

Nobody gave me a mention, till they saw me with you  
Paid me a bit of attention, till they saw me with you.  
Suddenly strange people walked up to me,  
Pretending they knew me,  
And begging me to… introduce you.

**Chorus** Who's that bunch of personality?

I'm presenting her right now; Baby, take a bow!

**Chorus** Where'd you find the lovely glamour girl?

I'm presenting her right now: Baby take a bow!  
Hear them whispering:

**Chorus** "Isn't she the sweetest thing? "

You're a stand-out.

**Chorus** She's cute, she's sweet, she's swell, she's grand

Listen to the compliments they hand out!  
Let me stand right up and say:  
"Who's the future Miss Milkway?"

Just a minute, ladies  
I'm presenting you right now' Baby, take a bow!

**Ana Lena**

_Everybody's asking me,  
Who's that bunch of personality?  
I'm presenting you right now;_

_Daddy, take a bow_

_Everybody wants to know, who's that great big handsome Romeo?_

_I'm presenting you right now;_

_Daddy, take a bow_

Hear them whispering:

"Hasn't he got everything?"  
He's a stand-out;  
Listen to the compliments they hand out!  
Let me stand right up and say: Who's the one brings mother all his pay?

_I'm presenting you right now;_

_Daddy, take a bow!_

The performance finishes with a dance routine. There is thunderous applause. Leia, Han, and Luke turn to see a good number of seats in the far side of the auditorium filled with Imperial officers. The men have been singing along during the performance. Ana Lena is the star of the show.

After the pageant is over, the family goes out to dinner. Ana Lena falls asleep in her father's lap after an evening of accolades.

Safely back home, everyone goes to bed. Isabel reaches for their youngest. Anakin refuses to let her go.

"It's ok. I'll put her to bed."

Anakin gets her ready for bed. She is as limp as a rag doll. He tucks her in. Just as he is about to stand, she wakes up.

"Where are you going, Daddy?"

"It's late, Sweet pea. Time for bed."

"Stay with me."

"You did good today, baby."

"I knew you would come for me, Daddy."

"I would never disappoint you, sweet pea."

Anakin curls up on the bed with her. He finally returns to the master bedroom late that night. Isabel does not look at him. He slips into bed and kisses her neck.

"Don't be mad at me."

"What happened?"

"Stage fright. I was afraid of messing up."

"And how old are you again?"

"I know, I know. I was out-performed by a three year old. She's a real pro."

"I know. I love you, but don't give up your day job."

As Anakin falls asleep, he hears a familiar tune in his head:

On the starship  
lollipop  
it's a nice trip,  
in to bed you hop,  
and dream away,  
on the starship  
lollipop!

_To be continued… 'That's What I Want for Christmas…' 'Prof. Solo aka 007'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter of this family saga. In the meantime, I hope you are enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**


	125. Chapter 125Through the Years

_Chapter 125_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Solo Not So Solo After All'_

'_A Gift is a Dream Your Heart Makes'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Make my mommy's life a song,  
Keep my Daddy safe and strong,  
Let me have them all year long,  
That's what I want for Christmas'_

_I.C. 'Stowaway' _

A few months pass since the school pageant. Luke shows off the holovid to the Jedi Council. Everyone is thoroughly entertained. Palpatine gets a copy to show his lady friends at the Shady Acres Retirement Home. He exclaims 'talent' runs in the family.

Leia is touched by Han's offer to stand in for Anakin during the pageant that day. She knows he was sincere but was also glad that her father finally showed up. She is proud of Han and is certain now that this is the man for her. She wants to spend the rest of her life with him.

Over the years, Leia has grown increasingly curious about Han's family. She knew of a surly uncle and of a cousin, but Han never had much contact with them; or so he said. She longed to know about his immediate family. That is the reason for their trip to Corellia. She wanted everything out in the open. If they were to commit to each other, she wanted to know his real background. No more Wookie stories. She wanted the truth. She could handle the truth no matter what.

At the Skywalker home, the youngest siblings are in the playroom. They are playing with their Imperial Starships and TIE Fighters and X-Wing Starfighters. The miniature ships sail across the playroom and maneuver independently. The boys have locked Ana Lena out until they realize she has Skippy. She knocks on the door.

"Li, Alex, Mommy says you have to play with me. Let me in."

"You're too little. We're not babysitters. Go play with your dolls, you've got enough of them."

"Skippy wants to play."

"Let Skippy in. You stay out."

"Mommy says if Skippy can come in then I can come in."

"Ok, fine…just don't touch anything."

Ana Lena enters the room. She is pushing her doll carriage. Her mother's wide-brimmed sunhat covers her small head. A lace shawl hangs over her shoulders. Today she is wearing red overalls and a white pullover with a sweetheart collar. There are tiny flowers on the edges. Li-An looks over at his sister.

Where's Skippy?"

"In here." She adjusts a light green flannel blanket. Alex and Li-An walk over to the toy carriage. Li-An is appalled at what he sees.

"My dog! What did you do?"

"He's likes it. I made him look nice."

Li-An slaps his forehead in dismay. "He looks ridiculous! Mom!"

Isabel hurries in to find out what the fuss is about. She purses her lips to keep from laughing. Skippy pokes his head out of the carriage. He is wearing a blue doll bonnet with a curly blonde doll wig underneath.

"What's going on?"

"Mom, look what she did to Skippy."

"Oh, he's alright."

"He's lost his dignity."

"He's a dog. How much dignity does he have? You're going to play with your sister and that's that."

"Oh, brother!"

"Not one more word out of you."

"Alright."

Isabel leaves the children. After a few minutes, things have settled down. The children are playing together peacefully. Li-An lies on the floor playing with his toy Imperial Star Destroyer.

"So, what are you guys going to ask Babbo Befana for this year?"

Alex thinks for a moment. All three children are in a circle on the floor, their heads touching.

"I'm going to ask for a hat just like Han Solo has."

"But that's an old beat up hat."

"But I like it that way. It looks cool."

"Why don't you just ask him to give you his?"

"Okay. What are you going to ask for?"

"Firecrackers."

"You better not. Mom's mad as it is."

"Oh, right. She's not taking crap from anybody these days."

Ana Lena chimes in.

"I know what I want."

The boys look at Ana Lena.

"What?"

"Kruzi"

"What's that?"

"Shhhh…It's a secret."

"Oh, brother, here we go again with her made-up words."

"It's not made up, it's real."

"Yeah, real like the fairy you saw in the garden? Even Yoda laughed at that."

"Yoda never laughs at me. He says I have positive energy."

"I'm positive you're a little brat."

"I'm not a brat."

"So, are you going to tell us what you asked for on Befana Eve?"

"No. I promised."

"Promised who, your room full of dolls? Ha-Ha!"

"Tell us…or Raggedy Ani gets a ride on the star cruiser of death! Alex, toss me the doll."

"No! Li, stop!"

Alex laughs and tosses the doll to his brother. Alex has misgivings about teasing Ana Lena. Li-An, on the other hand, takes great joy in tormenting his baby sister.

"I'm going to tie her to the star destroyer…she'll be blown to smithereens!" He cackles like a mad scientist. He barely looks frightening, but to a three-year old, it is scary. Li-An continues to pretend to torment her. "Ahahahahaa!"

Skippy watches the children. Li-An has ties the rag doll to the hovering starship with some twine. He lets it sail around the playroom. Ana Lena's eyes well up. Skippy watches and feels sad for her. Li-An feels Skippy watching him and a feeling of guilt comes over the child. He places his hand on her shoulder.

"Don't cry. You want to play with us, don't you?'

She nods 'Yes.'

"Then you'll have to act mature."

"Okay."

Li-An stops tormenting her. He waves his hand and stops the starship.

"I was just teasing you. I'm sorry. I wasn't really going to hurt your doll."

He undoes the binding and hands the doll back to her. She grabs her doll and hugs it.

"Thank you, Li."

"You're welcome, Ana-Le."

Alex is looking at the hovering starship. The twine is hanging from the wings like Dagobah swamp moss. He imagines what it would be like to see the star ship sailing across the room with the doomed doll strapped to it. He sighs wistfully.

"That would have been cool to see."

The star destroyer begins to sail across the room in a slow, steady pace. There is a flicker of light near the toy ship. The children take notice and follow the path of the flickering light. They see it separate from the cruiser and settle on the toy box. Skippy watches too. Li-An and Alex carefully step closer. Alex does not take his eyes off it.

"What is it?"

"It's a firefly."

"Shall we swat it?"

"No…let's see where it goes."

Ana Lena tries to get a look.

"It's an angel."

Skippy starts barking. Li-An grabs the K-9 droid dog by the collar. Suddenly chaos ensues when the light breaks up into a burst of tiny particles, Li-An loses control of Skippy who pounces on the toy box. Li-An forgets about the star cruiser as it begins flying erratically. It crashes into the bookshelf toppling books, games, and a pack of Crazy Eights Sabacc cards for kids. The cards were a birthday gift for Alex. The pack of cards has Han Solo's name written all over them. Han explains that card game is a great math educational tool. Anakin argues that it promotes gambling. Leia scoffs at her father's remark. _'You should know.'_

The children fall over each other. Alex pushes Li-An off of him.

Don't push me!"

"You pushed me first."

Ana Lena whines.

"You smashed my doll. I'm telling Mommy."

"Your doll's already smashed, crybaby. I knew we shouldn't have let you in here."

They hear their mother's slipper covered footsteps as she heads for the playroom. When she walks in the playroom, it is a mess.

"What happened here?"

Each child points to another.

"It was Ana-Le!"

"That's enough. I want this room straightened up, and then you two have a seat until I decide what to do with you."

"But…"

"Li-An, I'm not in the mood. You still owe me an explanation how you got your brother's lightsaber and sliced off the top of the lemon tree and that bust of your grandfather in the foyer."

Li-An whispers to himself

"I thought she forgot about that."

"Did you say something?"

"But, Mom, you said you didn't like that head in the house."

It's true; she did not want any likeness of the former Emperor in her house. He gave it to Anakin and Isabel for their fifth wedding anniversary. It was a Felucia Teak sculpture image of Palpatine. It came with its own alabaster pedestal. Palpatine would swear Isabel had arranged for it to be destroyed.

Li-An has been warned numerous times to stay out of Luke's room. Li-An wanted to see Luke's newest lightsaber. The child has become quite adept wielding the weapon but he is forbidden to use one until his tenth birthday and that is few years away. He was imitating a sparing exercise like the ones he witnessed during a tournament at the Jedi Temple Arena. It was the Padawan 12-14-year-old Division. Luke and Anakin took Li-An for his seventh birthday.

Isabel got Artoo to apply some epoxy to glue the scalp back on the head. Because the lightsaber seared and pulverized a few centimeters of the wood, it was difficult to restore it. The two pieces do not quite line up. The bust looks as if it is missing the part between the brow and the bridge of the nose. She knew if any attention were brought to the disfigured sculpture, the old man would just bring in another. The last thing Isabel needs is bookends of Palpatine. With the bust 'repaired, Isabel has another item on her agenda. Now she has to exact punishment.

"That's irrelevant. Have a seat, my youngling. I'll call you when supper is ready. Ana-Lena, come along."

She hesitates for a moment.

"Who will play with me?"

"You want to join your criminal masterminds over there?"

Ana Lena looks up at her mother then grabs a chair from her little tea table, drags it over to the corner and sits with her brothers. She even gets her mother's help to bring another chair over for her doll. Isabel looks at her 'Trio of Chaos: The Good, the Bad, and the Impossible. As she is about to leave, Skippy grabs his titanium bone from his dish in the kitchen then returns to take his place beside Li-An. Isabel rolls her eyes then leaves.

Anakin arrives shortly after the prisoners are sent to their 'collective' solitary confinement. He walks into the kitchen to kiss his wife. Isabel is not exactly responsive.

"Get away, I'm busy."

"Well, good afternoon to you too! Come on, honey, you know you what me. Let me get busy with you."

"I'm busy enough. I don't need your help."

"You should be thrilled."

"Well, sorry to disappoint you."

Anakin figures he will torment her later. He looks around. Something is not normal.

"Why is it so quiet? Where are my loyal subjects to greet me when I come home?"

"They're in the holding cell."

"Holding cell?" He samples the dinner she is preparing then heads for the playroom to witness this for himself. He almost laughs when he sees them. They are a stoic little trio. No one is crying. Ana Lena is tempted to get up and run to her father but this is all about unity and support of her fellow convicts. Anakin greets them. He tries not to laugh as he folds his arms and leans against the doorway.

"Hello, felons! Any or all of you require counsel? Hmmm…not talking, eh?" He notices the nose of the toy Imperial Star Destroyer lodged into the wall. The children are still facing the 'contemplation' wall but they hear his familiar footsteps. He walks over to the disabled toy and pulls it out of the hole. Anakin pokes his finger in the damaged section of the wall to examine the damage. He figures he will fix it later. Anakin turns and walks over to the children. He sees Skippy. Skippy smiles up at him and rolls over.

"I know you had something to do with this. Your dog tricks won't work on me today. What a sight. Look at all of you." He slowly paces behind the children who await an unknown fate. "How many times have I told you 'no roughhousing'?"

He looks at Li-An. Without missing a beat, his son answers.

"Three…four times?"

Alex turns around and raises his hand as he kneels in his chair.

"Ooooh! I know! Seven times."

"You think this is something to be proud of? Sit down. This isn't a spelling Bee."

He paces the room some more. He is actually bidding his time. Isabel is expecting him to enforce good behavior. He is about to give a kiddie version of his 'State of the Galaxy Address then decides against it. They would just tune out and 'No One' has ever 'tuned out' on one of his speeches. He rubs his forehead then thinks of something to say.

"Can you kids manage to play fairly with one another? Just get along?"

"Sometimes."

"Try again, Li. Does anyone know that good behavior means you won't wind up wild in the streets?"

They all nod "Yes."

Ana Lena raises her hand.

"I know a song, Daddy."

"You do?"

Li-An throws his arms in the air.

"Ohh nooo… not a song! Dad!"

Anakin gives Li-An a stern look then looks at his little daughter.

"Go ahead and sing your little song, baby."

"Okay, Daddy."

"_When you get in trouble and you don't know right from wrong_

_Give a little whistle! Give a little whistle! _(she cannot whistle)

_When you meet temptation and the urge is very strong_

_Give a little whistle! Give a little whistle!_

_Take the straight and narrow path_

_And if you start to slide_

_Give a little whistle! Give a little whistle!_

_And always let your conscience be your guide"_

P

Alex leans on his chair.

"Is she done?"

Li-An answers.

"Oh, man! This is our punishment."

Anakin leads the applause. He looks at the boys.

"Clap for your sister. Very nice, Sweet pea."

"Thank you, Daddy." She takes a bow.

Li-An and Alex applaud. Satisfied, Anakin dismisses his three inmates.

"Okay…go wash up for supper, you're sprung."

The 'Youngling Gang of Three' file out of the playroom in marching formation... Anakin pretends to swing his hand as if to spank Li-An. Li-An giggles. He winks at Alex who salutes him. Ana-Lena is the last to leave. He bows as she crosses the threshold.

"Move it along." Skippy files out last. Anakin rubs his head. "That'll do, dog, that'll do."

Anakin is soon alone in the room. He is not alone for long.

'_Anakin, you have no control over your bad ass little kids. You are the worst disciplinarian ever. No wonder Luke and Leia are running wild in the street.'_

"My children are not running wild in the street."

'_Shall I run the holovid footage?'_

"No, you shall not."

'_Those little boys need a spanking.'_

"I think I scared them enough."

'_Looks like this playroom has seen better days.'_

"Don't worry; I'll fix it."

'_Oh boy, here we go… Anakin, you're no carpenter or painter. '_

"It's just a small hole; I can handle it."

'_I know…today it is.'_

"I'm handy with a hammer and nails."

'_You don't need any hammer and nails. It's barely a two- inch hole…All you need is some spackle and touch-up paint.' I know what you're thinking…Don't do it, Anakin…Oh, my god. You're a crazy 'mofo'. Your wife is going to kill your ass. She already can't stand you right now.'_

"She'll get over it, she always does." He smiles and winks at the Force Ghost, looks around the room as he grabs the doorknob, and heads out. "Got to wash up for dinner."

The room is quiet. The specter of Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn appears. He joins Jedi Master Windu.

'_What did I miss?'_

'_Those bad little kids are in trouble again.'_

'_Cute little monsters. Want to check the Jedi Archives to see if they have any orange prison jumpsuits in their future?'_

'_I can't wait. Let's go.'_

'_Let's not startle Jocasta Nu this time. She'll have us banned from the archives.'_

Dinnertime –

Luke and Leia are home. Anakin is busy cutting up food on a plate. He hands the plate to Alex.

"Thanks, Dad."

"You're welcome." He cuts up Ana Lena's food, talking as he does this. "So, what's going on with everyone? Luke, you go first. I haven't seen you in a couple of days."

"I had dinner at Mara's house. I told you that."

"Nice of you to show up." Leia, what's going on with you? You never told me about your pirate adventure in the hills of Corellia. Was it all that it was cracked up to be?"

"It was enlightening. Han actually has parents."

"He does? They're not adoptive parents? No excess hair or fur? They're his blood family?"

"Yes! I can't believe he's been keeping this from everyone for so long. I mean, I knew he had family…but the way Han was explaining it before…He made it seem as if they were the worst people in the world who shouldn't have had children. They're a lot older than you guys though."

Anakin looks across the table at his daughter.

"Gee, Leia, you think? Han's older than your mother!"

"No he's not. That wasn't meant in a bad way, Isabel."

"I'm not offended, Leia."

Anakin swallows the mouthful of shaak rib eye steak. He looks at Leia again pointing his fork in her direction.

"He's older than you! That's the point." He cuts another piece of steak and stabs it with his fork. Leia senses his burning anger. He reminds her of a Naboo blowfish when it puffs up as a defense. He'll deflate soon. It is amusing to watch.

"Calm down, Daddy before you choke."

"Hmmm…So, what are they, a band of pirates, assassins, and treasure hunters?"

"Well…"

Alex is drinking his blue milk from his favorite cup from a recent family trip to Ewok Land Discovery Adventures: Pirates of the Corellian Islands. His blue eyes light up.

"Do they find buried treasure?"

"Sort of. It's historic exploration.

"Wow…That's what I want to be when I grow up. I want to find stuff."

Anakin looks over at Alex.

"Try finding your shoes in the morning first."

Leia continues.

"His parents are archeologists. Han used to go on explorations with them. They were digging for some ancient artifacts on Geonosis when Han fell in a hole filled with snakes. He's never gotten that image out of his head. It was one of the most traumatic moments of his life."

Suddenly, unexpectedly, Anakin begins to laugh hysterically. Everyone looks at him.

"What? That was _'effing'_ funny. Oops! Sorry, kids. 'Bel, don't give me that look."

Little Alex looks around the table. He is confused.

"Is Daddy laughing at me?"

"No, Alex. Daddy just has a warped sense of humor and a potty mouth."

Isabel ignores Anakin. He is sitting at the head of the table, still with a big grin on his face. Isabel speaks to Leia.

"So, Leia, when are we going to meet them?"

"After the holiday…then again…maybe never, the way Daddy is behaving."

"Hey, don't be mad at me. That story was priceless. Ok…I'll be serious for a moment…were they real snakes or just the rubber ones you buy at the gag shop? Heeheehee."

"Daddy, how funny would you find it if someone asked if the lava rocks you fell on were real?"

The room grows quiet. Anakin puts down his knife and fork then looks at his oldest daughter.

"Now, Leia, that hurt. Why did you have to bring that up?"

Li-An looks at Leia, then at his father.

"Dad, are you going to cry?"

"Hell no."

Ana Lena looks over at her father.

"Don't cry, Daddy. You want a hug?"

"Yes, please." He leans over to receive a hug from his toddler daughter. After the hug, he sits up straight, glances around the table and sniffs as he resumes his meal. "Thank you, Sweet pea. That was very thoughtful."

No one else at the table falls for his performance; especially with that pathetic sniffle at the end. Luke almost laughs. Instead, he lowers his head and pretends to be busy enjoying his supper. Leia smiles across the table at her naive baby sister.

"Oh, Ana Lena, guess what?"

"What?"

"I saw the prettiest little dress in the store window today. It's perfect for you. Want to go shopping with me tomorrow?"

"Ok."

Anakin is on to Leia.

"She can't go. We have 'Daddy and Me' at the pre-school."

"Ana-Le, you want a new dress or do you want to go to that old school?"

"Uhm…"

Anakin is appalled at this underhanded scheme to turn his precious baby against him.

"Leia, don't confuse her. I swear…you'll lose if you try."

The young child thinks for a moment as she looks over at her beautiful older sister and then at her handsome, loving father.

"Can we go after 'Daddy and Me'? It's Daddy's turn to read us a story. It's his day, he promised."

Leia has underestimated her little sister. The tyke is diplomatic and shrewd. She does not want to disappoint either of them.

Anakin waits for a response. Leia is caught off-guard, but so is her father. He finally responds.

"Sure, sweetie. That works."

Li-An watches this.

"I've got to try that."

Anakin looks at his son.

"First try explaining the hole in the wall."

"I've got to think of a good defense."

"You're going to need it."

After dinner, Anakin heads to his study. Luke knocks on his door.

"Dad? How's it going?"

"Just peachy. What's up?"

Luke takes a seat and plays with a holosphere on his father's desk.

"Want to hit the golf course this week?"

"Well, I've got a lot to do at the office and I have to take your sister to school, then I have to go to the home improvement store to get supplies to repair the playroom."

"I thought you said it was just a hole."

"That hole in the wall requires major work. I was going to just redo the room."

"What? Mom's going to kill you. Why are you doing this?"

"It's due for a makeover. Want to help?"

"You really want to do this before the holiday?"

"Yes."

"You know, Mara's uncle is a contractor. He could probably have his crew do it in half the time."

"Are you saying I can't handle a paint job?"

"Dad, I know you. You'll make a project out of it and then you'll be all stressed out. Let a professional handle it."

"Well…I do have a lot going on. Shouldn't we get some quotes first?"

"I'm sure we could get a reasonable price."

"Trust me, Dad, it's for the best."

Anakin sits back, rocks in his chair and thinks. 'Daddy & Me', being judge and jury for 'Li-An the Destroyer', home improvements to 'This Sith House', meeting the nerfherder's parents, getting on Isabel's 'good side' again by the time Befana Eve rolls around, but first…he needs the remote. As soon as Luke leaves, Anakin Force-slams the door.

Late that evening, after the children are put to bed. After a few hours the house is quiet. Not a creature is stirring, not even the Sith. The three Youngling awake and tiptoe down the hall, they descend the stairs without one fall…

_When out on the terrace there arose such a clatter,_

_Threepio had fallen, Skippy darts past them to get to the matter._

_Away to the window the tykes flew like a flash,_

_Slid up to the door and threw up the sash._

_The moon on the breast of the meteor shower_

_Gave the lustre of dusk to the top Jedi Tower,_

_When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,_

_A tiny young nymph tangled up a snare._

"Cool!"

"What is it?"

Ana Lena tries to squeeze between her brothers to get a look.

"Let me see! Li, I want to see!"

Li-An takes charge and holds his hand out to shield her view.

"Stand back, Ana Le, it looks like a mutant Mustafar Lava Flea. It could be deadly."

Alex is skeptical about this. Li-An had a toy ray shield kit and set it earlier in the day to capture the unknown creature.

"I don't think so, Li…It's smaller, and it looks harmless to me. Let it out of the ray shield trap."

"Dad always says be cautious. It could very well kill us in our sleep."

"Oh brother!"

Ana Lena manages to squeeze between her brothers. She is holding her rag doll. What she sees makes her gasp. Li-An thinks she is about to scream and cause their parents to wake up. He covers her mouth.

"Shhh! Quiet! Do you want to wake up the whole house? If I take my hand away, you promise to be quiet?"

She nods 'Yes.' The creature is struggling to escape from the bubble-like trap. Sparks of golden dust burst within the bubble. Finally, the bubble expands and breaks with one big pop. The Younglings jump back a step. They lean forward to discover it is not a Mustafar Lava Flea at all. It is beautiful and visibly annoyed as it brushes itself off. It's translucent blue wings flutter.

Ana Lena smiles.

"It's the fairy!"

Li-An turns to his sister.

"The what?"

"It's the garden fairy. She made the flowers grow."

The tiny nymph grabs a tiny wand from a nearby leaf, folds her arms, and looks at the three children. She taps her slippered foot angrily.

. Threepio and Artoo walk up behind the children. Alex speaks to his brother but keeps his eyes on the garden nymph.

"So, what do we do now, Li?"

"She's almost naked. Cool! Maybe she knows Aunt Bunny. Maybe she'll grant us three wishes."

"Oh, please, don't be ridiculous. She's probably here to turn Dad's speeder into a giant pumpkin."

Threepio makes a quip.

"Perhaps she's here to turn me into a real live person. Hahaha!"

The children stare at him. Artoo laughs. Ana Lena smiles.

"Her name is Tinker Bell and she's here to help us."

Li-An rolls his eyes.

"How do you know? She hasn't said anything."

"I just know it. We have to bring her inside."

Li-An sighs.

"I have a bad feeling about this."

"Bad feeling about what?"

The children stand frozen. The droids spin about-face to find someone standing in the terrace doorway. Skippy sits still as he watches his master in the darkness. The light from the dayroom table lamp glows behind him. Anakin is in his navy velour robe and pinstripe pajama bottoms. Threepio clears his throat to speak.

"Oh, nothing, Master…the children were just wondering what Babbo Befana will think when he sees that the patio isn't decorated for the holidays yet. He will be so disappointed by the unwelcome appearance."

"You worry too much, Threepio. Besides, there's plenty of time to decorate. Everybody, get inside. It's late; you should all be in bed. Skippy, you need repairing again. There's that knocking sound again in your jaw."

Li-An usher's the K-9 droid inside.

"He'll be fine, Dad. I can fix him. I'm getting as good at fixing stuff as you are."

"We'll take care of it in the morning."

"I'm sure it's temporary, Dad."

"We'll see. Sweet pea, come inside. You need your sleep. You have 'Daddy & Me' in the morning."

Ana Lena smiles up at her father. He lifts her in his arms.

"Yes, Daddy."

Anakin locks the sliding door. An Lena looks over his shoulder. Just as Skippy ascends the stairs behind Li-An and Alex, he coughs up Tinker Bell after she taps him from inside with her wand. He makes a sound as if he is gagging on a fur ball. She shakes her wand at him in a scolding manner. Anakin turns out the light in the dayroom. He sees glowing residue of pixie dust on the carpet.

"This place needs a good vacuuming."

He heads upstairs and tucks Ana Lena in bed again, then closes the door. He sees a light under the door in the boys' room.

"Lights out now! I mean it! Don't make me come in there."

"Alright, Dad!"

The streak of light under the door disappears. Anakin heads back to the master bedroom. The light reappears under An Lena's door. Everyone in back in bed for the evening.

Anakin turns to his wife in there bed.

"Did you vacuum today?"

He lands on the bedroom floor with one dull thump. The morning is going to be a bitch.

_To be continued… 'Sith Contracts and Additions' 'So-lo-rize'_

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter of this family saga. In the meantime, I hope you are enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	126. Chapter 126 Sith Contracts and Additions

_Chapter 126_

****'_Sith Contracts and Additions: Sith Home Improvement'_

'_So-lo-rize'_

'_Now, that's a__ Gift'_

**

* * *

The day after Luke's suggestion to hire a contractor, Anakin is visited by three men.**

"Morning, Mr. Skywalker. I'm Fausto 'Fat Bantha' Mostaccholi of Tantive IV Contractors, accompanying me is my brother-in-Law Danny 'The Dianoga' Jade and my other associate, Rocco 'Rattaki' Spumoni. We understand you want to make some improvements on your home, as it were.

"Hello, gentlemen. Actually, it's just one room. It needs painting. Can you do the work?"

"We can do anything you need done, Mr. Skywalker. We can drywall, spackle…we can cover up anything. You need to hide anything deemed 'undesirable,' we're your guys."

"It's just a hole in the wall that needs sealing…'

The rotund 'Fat Bantha' leans forward in the gundarkian leather chair in Anakin's study. The man is wearing two big gaudy rings, one on his stubby left pinky and the other on his right middle finger. He looks at Anakin with his bushy dark eyebrows and combed-back hair.

"Was it a blaster shot? What was it, an AK45 millimeter, or a rapid-fire Utapaun Uzi? I can look at a hole and tell you just what piece did the damage. We can cover up anything…finished a job just last week…" He looks back at his 'associates'. "Didn't we, boys?"

"Sure did, boss."

"We can put up drywall where you can't even tell if a stiff was left in there."

Anakin realizes he has been misunderstood. He waves his hands to get the attention of the three men

"Whoa…whoa! No weapon was used…It's my kid's playroom. I'm just renovating it. I was going to do the job myself but my wife says it's a messy job to do so close to the holidays."

"So, you plannin' to doin' it solo?"

"Well…that was the plan. I didn't want to involve a lot of people. The quicker I can get this done, the better for everyone concerned."

"I totally agree, Mr. Skywalker. Let me give you my guarantee. We can make it quick and easy. You'll never know we was here."

"Well, I did want to keep the element of surprise. Also, I didn't want to tell my daughter or wife I was planning to contract the job out."

"Mr. Skywalker, my middle name is 'discreet.'"

"Oh? I thought it was Fa-…never mind."

"Believe me, ain't nobody gonna hear nuttin'about this."

Meanwhile…outside in an unmarked air van parked across the street. Inside, four detectives and three Intergalactic Federal Bureau of Investigation (IFBI) agents are listening in on the meeting. The senior agent steps inside the back of the vehicle.

"That's it; we've got it all on holotape. Fat Bantha's going to kill the daughter's boyfriend Solo. You believe us now, Lieutenant?"

Stephan Nor rubs the back of his neck.

"That can't be right….it's impossible. He would never do that. He isn't thrilled about Han Solo seeing his daughter but he's come to terms with it. He gets along pretty well with the pilot."

"Once a Sith, always a Sith, Lt. Nor. What's that famous saying? Oh, yeah. 'Keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer.'"

"But this makes no sense. My brother-in-law hasn't killed anyone in years…who didn't deserve it."

Back inside, Anakin studies the three men. Two burly-looking guys and one short skinny guy with a scar on his face that starts from his left cheek to his chin. Looks like they may have been involved in some dicey situations.

Just outside the door, a tough-looking bodyguard stands. He is dressed in black like the others in the Tantive IV entourage. His three-button black double-knit shirt. His thick neck bulges under the collar. He stands with his hands folded in front. He wears an excess of jewelry including a big watch, three rings and a Geonosis gold chain peeking out of the collar. He looks straight ahead. His attention waivers when he hears footsteps. He turns his head to the left, and then to the right. He hears a voice.

"What's your name?"

"Wha?"

He looks down and sees tiny Ana-Lena looking up at him. She is wearing a winter white wool dress with red holly berries embroidered on the bodice. Her raven hair is parted down the middle into two looped ponytails. A bright red ribbon holds each one in place. On her feet are ivory-colored shearling calf-high boots. Her ivory knee socks match her dress. The holly berries are little red pom-poms that dangle over the top of the boots.

"Hello."

"Hi, kid."

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Who's in there with my daddy?"

"Businessmen."

"What kind of business?"

"Business-business. Why don't you take your little doll and run along? Ain't your mudda lookin' for youze?"

"She's with the angels." Ana-Lena points up towards the stairs.

"Oh, sorry to hear that, kid."

"It's okay. They're funny angels. They make her laugh."

"Youze got a good attitude, kid."

"That's what my godfather Obi-Wan told me."

"Youze got a godfadda?"

"Yes."

"Which family?"

"Downtown."

"The downtown family? Oh, my boss had some business wit the downtown families" He leans over; being mindful of her size and sensitive to what he imagines is a sad moment for her. So, your mudda's upstairs, eh?" He points upward and smiles softly. "That's nice, she's laughin' wit da angels."

Meanwhile, 'upstairs, laughing with the angels,' is Isabel. Aayla Secura, Master Mace Windu, and Master Qui-Gon Jinn surround her as she relaxes on her newly reupholstered cream-colored velvet chaise. She was fed up with ankle biter parking on her favorite piece of furniture in the house. It was her refuge. Between the crumbs buried in the crevices, spilt beer and her plasma tuned to the Intergalactic Sports Channel, she knew it was time for some tough love. She forbade Anakin from visiting the room. As usual, he tries to turn on the charm. After a brief romantic interlude, she comes to her senses and sends him on his way. She paid dearly for this moment of weakness.

Today she is wearing white silk lounge pajamas and a billowy white robe. She eats grapes as her toenails dry.

"I miss how funny you guys are."

Qui-Gon speaks.

"We missed you too. I love it when we have these get-togethers. You understand us."

"You like me because I don't yell at you like my husband does." She starts to stand up and head for the door. "If you'll excuse me, I need to check up on my toddler. She's wandered off again. Don't go away. I'll be right back…" Mace, close my window please? It's drafty and my magazines are all over the floor. Oh, my back is killing me."

'_Believe me, Isabel, that little girl can take care of herself. Sit down and rest yourself. So, how long are you going to stay mad at poor Anakin?'_

"As long as I feel like it. Poor Anakin…please! Since when are you feeling sorry for him?"

Mace smiles knowingly.

'_You know you love that man. If you didn't, we wouldn't be here talking today. You owe it all to him.'_

"Sure I do." She laughs and waves her hand at the Force Ghost.

Aayla examines the different nail lacquers on the tray.

'_Make up with him, Isabel. Oooh, nice shade… Felucia pink.'_

"I'll make up with him after the holiday; I can't concentrate on that while I have kids to tend to, a dinner party to plan, possible in-laws to contact, and a few other unplanned events. Hey, what happened to Master Ki-Adi Mundi? Is he too saintly to visit me?"

Mace grins.

'_Oh, St. Elsewhere?'_

She giggles

"Why do you call him that?"

'_Well, he's got to be 'elsewhere' 'cause he sure isn't here with us!'_

Mace and Qui-Gon high-five each other.

Meanwhile – Back downstairs, Ana-Lena talks to the big bodyguard.

"What's your name?"

The bodyguard looks at the small child then resumes his vigil at the door.

"Aldo"

His name on the streets of Coco Town is Aldo 'Big Sarlacc' Can'Apiz. He is renown as the most lethal bodyguard and assassin on the mean streets of Coco Town. For some unexplained reason, he feels compelled to say his given name. Ana-Lena smiles up at him.

"Hi, Aldo. My name is Ana-Lena."

"What a pretty name."

"Thank you."

"What's your dolly's name?"

"Little Orphan Sandy."

"Oh, yeah. I heard of that doll. Real popular wit the little girls.. We got a truckload of 'em last year during a heist…I mean job near the docks..."

He stops talking about this. He almost feels ashamed of the heist he took part in last year. Stealing a shipment meant for the Befana Eve shopping season. Many children never got one. It was scratched off thousands of Befana Eve wish lists because the shipment went missing. There were sad little girls and a few confused little boys all over the galaxy. Ana-Lena got hers from her grandmother, purchased from a legitimate retailer. Aldo feels compelled to chat with the child.

"So, Ana-Lena, what are you doing down here?"

"I'm waiting for my daddy. He takes me to 'Daddy and Me' class. We sing and play games. Today he has to read to us. He promised. Would you go in and please tell him to hurry?"

"Well…I don't know, Ana-Lena…they're awfully busy in there."

"Please, Mr. Aldo?"

"They should be done soon."

"Ok. I'll just sit here and sing."

Ana-Lena sits outside her father's study singing quietly and woefully in a little chair:

'_If I had you with me  
How lucky I would be  
Alone with you  
I have everything that I need  
Alone with you…oh, Daddy, I wish you were with me'_

Aldo begins to fidget. Ana-Lena's sweet angelic voice stirs something inside of him. He looks at the closed door then considers the consequences of interrupting the meeting too soon. He lets out a heavy sigh and tries not to look at the child. Ana-Lena continues to sing. The child's voice and personality are hypnotizing. Suddenly he speaks to her again.

"Hey, Ana-Lena, I know a song. It's about you."

"What's it called?"

"Ana-Lena Zooma Zooma."

"Zooma Zooma? What's that mean?"

"It's for emphasis."

"But zooma sounds like a star cruiser."

"Little girl, I don't got all day while you analyze my song. You wanna hear the song or not? Yes or No?"

"Yes."

"Alright then…here it goes…" He counts with his fingers and prepares to sing:

'_I eat antipasti twice_

_just because she is so nice_

_Ana-Lena_

_Ana-Lena_

_the waitress at the pizzeria'_

"But I'm too little to be a waitress."

"Are youz gonna let me sing it or not? You're a tough little girl to please, you know that? Hold your dolly and relax."

"Okay. What's the next part?"

"I'm gettin' to it. Sit nice so your mudda can look down on you from 'upstairs'…wit the angels…If you interrupt me again, Imma gonna stop singing. Those is da consequences."

"Nooo, don't stop…I promise not to interrupt."

"Okay then. Ready?"

"Okay."

Aldo thinks for a moment to get the rhythm of the song back in his head again. His tough voice actually has a soothing sound. Ana-Lena sits and listens.

'_I eat tattoo-ine minestrone_

_just to be with her alone_

_Ana-Lena_

_Ana-Lena_

_the waitress at the pizzeria_

_Ti vol-glio be-ne_

_Ana-Lena I adore you_

_E vol-glio be-ne_

_Ana-Lena I live for you_

_If she'll be a my My Car-ra mi-a_

_then I'll join in matrimony_

_with a girl who serves spumoni_

_and Ana-Lena will be mine'_

Inspired by L. Prima

Talks are still going on inside Anakin's study. Anakin can hear the singing. He glances at the digital readout on the holosphere clock on his desk. He has heard enough from these men in his study.

"Gentlemen, we'll have to discuss this at a later time. I have a standing appointment with my daughter."

"Can we execute this deal?"

"Give me a couple of days. I'll get back to you."

"The offer is only on the table until noon tomorrow…and…" 'Fat Bantha' turns towards the door. He seems annoyed. "Who's singin' out there?"

The door opens and Fat Bantha, his crew, and Anakin witness the burly bodyguard/assassin entertaining the toddler. Anakin raises his eyebrows. He watches Fat Bantha and his associates. Danny confronts Aldo.

"Hey, Aldo, what youze doin'? You scarin' the little girl."

"No I wasn't." He turns to Fat Bantha. "She liked it, Boss."

"Stop fooling' around and let's get outta here!"

"Yes, Sir, boss." He straightens his suit and follows the three men. Ana-Lena tugs at his pants leg and whispers.

"See? There's my mommy. Isn't she beautiful?"

Aldo looks up then over to the top of the stairs. He sees a vision in a flowing white robe. Out of fear and reverence, Aldo genuflects as he witnesses this image.

"Mamma mia!"

Suddenly he hears the gruff voice of Fat Bantha calling him. Aldo bows towards the image. Ana-Lena waves goodbye to Aldo.

"Thank you for the song."

"My pleasure." He hurries out the door.

As the men pile into the black speeder sedan Sith De Ville, Aldo lowers his head at the wheel. The other men stare. Aldo is sobbing. The men look at one another in disbelief. Danny turns to him.

"Aldo, you cryin'?"

Fat Bantha feels awkward. He is not sure what to do.

"Aldo, snap out of it! What'_samatta_ wit you today?"

"Oh, Boss, I'm sorry…but that little girl…her mudda's wit da angels….I saw it for myself. She's such a brave little tot. This morning has been a life-altering moment for me."

"Life altering? Youze becomin' a transvestite?"

"No, boss! It was like I saw God. Right in that house. That poor little girl. I don't know if I can hurt nobody no more."

"You tryin' to tell me youz tryin' to leave? Remember, the 'Family' is for life."

"I gotta do good from now on. When I looked into that little girl's eyes, somethin' came over me. It's like she has some magical power to force me to do nuttin' but good. I'm sorry, Boss, but I got a sign."

"I'll give you a sign alright. I can't 'effing' believe this. Let Danny drive. Move over."

He undoes his seatbelt. The two men in the front seat switch places.

"But, boss, I had an epif'ny." Fat Bantha is obviously confused.

"A what?"

Rocco, who is sitting beside the head gangster, turns and says, "I know what that is. It's one of dem colorful lamps wit jewelry all over it. My Aunt Rita got one a doze."

Danny glances at Aldo then turns around to face his boss.

"No! He means 'epiphany.' He had an 'effin' epiphany. It means _a sudden intuitive leap of understanding, especially through an ordinary but striking occurrence…the manifestation of a divine being…it tells him what his life's work is to be."_

Rocco is confused.

"Oh…But what about the lamp?"

"There ain't no lamp, you moron!"

Fat Bantha ponders for a moment then speaks.

"So, Aldo, if I am understanding this explanation as described so eloquently by Danny here, youz saw god and figured out what youz gotta do for the rest of your life?"

"Sort of, boss."

Fat Bantha releases a heavy sigh.

"Aldo, Aldo…" He folds his chunky gold ring-decorated hands on his lap then leans forward between the seats to speak. He speaks to Aldo in a soft but deliberate voice. "So, Aldo, you know what I gotta do, don't you?"

Aldo, now in the passenger seat, looks straight ahead then squints.

"Is this it, Boss? If it's my time, I understand. Just make it quick, boss." He prepares to pray.

"So, you was singin' the whole time we was inside wit dat little girls' father?"

Aldo keeps his eyes tightly shut. He raises his hands as if in surrender. Beads of sweat pour down his face. He is ready to meet his _'maker.'_

"Yes, boss. It was a new song I wrote."

"You wrote that _'sith'_? That 'sith' wasn't half bad…not bad." Hey, Danny, drive us near the Coruscant Spaceport…we gotta make a stop. We'll pick up some cannoli on the way."

They drive, unaware that the IFBI is tailing them.

Meanwhile, back at the house –

Isabel removes the pedicure sponges from between her toes.

"Thanks, Qui-Gon for lifting me up so my nails didn't get ruined."

'_My pleasure.'_

"…But I could have done without the blowing my robe all around me…Mace." She gives the Jedi Master a stern look before she gets up and goes to the door. "I have to find out who those shifty-looking men were in our house."

'_Oh, don't worry about them.'_

Across town, Anakin takes his daughter to school. The teacher smiles at the children and their fathers. Everyone is sitting in those little chairs enjoying a snack and playing word games. After the games and a visit from a guest speaker from the local nature park to show the children a small woodland creature from Endor, the teacher presents the featured event.

"Today is Ana-Lena's day to have her father tell us a story. Can we give a nice warm welcome to Mr. Skywalker?"

The group applauds. Anakin takes his place in the center of the room. The teacher speaks.

"So, Mr. Skywalker, what story are you going to read to us today?"

"Dr. Sith's ABC's"

"Well…that should be enlightening….well…you may begin."

"Big 'A' Little 'a', What begins with 'A'? Acklay Ascending the Arena…'A'… 'a'…'A'

All the children look at the picture on the page. Hushed 'Ooo's and Ahhh's fill the room.

"Big 'B' Little 'b', What begins with 'B'?"

One child anxiously raises his hand.

"Ooo! I know! I know! It's a bullfrog!"

"Wrong! Wait till I turn the page."

"But I have that book at home." He creeps up closer to Anakin.

"Not this edition you don't. Have a seat kid, you're crowding me."

The parent of the exuberant child starts to protest.

"Hey, let him give the answer."

"Did we interrupt you when you read last week? Let me guess. No? I thought not. Okay, kids, listen up…"Big 'B' Little 'b', What begins with 'B'?... Boga balancing on balloons…'B'…'b'... 'B'

The 'anxious' kid continues to be an annoyance to Anakin. Always raising that hand and waving it in Anakin's face. Anakin imagines Force flinging the kid across the room, but then, it's only in his imagination. He wouldn't do it…not really. Little know-it-all kid and his dumb ass father. He knows one thing, little 'Poindexter' is going to be in for a world of hurt if he messes with the wrong person later on in life.

Ana-Lena sits attentively; hanging on her father's every word. Anakin smiles over at her then winks. This is the model child every kid in the galaxy should aspire to.

By the time he gets to the letter 'T', the children are cheering. "Tauntauns twirling the tango'… The children say it along with him " 'T' …'t'…'T'!"

He is an instant hit with the tykes. It trumped that sorry excuse for a 'sing-a-long' about the three blind mice, conducted by 'fidgety-kid's' dad just a week earlier. Now that was just depressing. A bunch of handicapped Tatooine rodents scurrying to avoid being hacked to pieces by some farmer's wife. What sort of parent reads about a bunch of helpless scurriers to a group of impressionable young children? It's just plain sadistic.

After his stellar presentation, Anakin returns home with his daughter. He has to get to the office. He senses something is wrong as he arrives at the door.

_Badges…We Need to See Badges_

On his return trip home, a different group of men, and one woman greet him. The Feds have entered his house.

Isabel has a worried look on her face. Leia is close by and so is Isabel's brother, Stephan. Anakin glances at the agents.

"What's going on?"

Isabel walks over at her husband.

"Anakin, these agents would like to speak to you." She takes Ana-Lena. "Sweetie, go with Threepio. Your brothers are in the back playing."

"Okay, Mommy."

Threepio leads the child into the kitchen.

"Come with me, Mistress Lena. I'll get you some ice cream."

"It's too cold for ice cream."

"What about some warm cocoa and a honey biscuit?"

"Okay."

"After you have your biscuit, we'll track down your two brothers. They didn't even stop for a snack. They went directly upstairs to their room and locked the door. There's lots of gold dust around the door. I thought I was shedding but then…."

"I don't want a honey biscuit right now, Threepio; I need to see my brothers…to tell them about my day with Daddy…"

"Oh….but….well…I don't know…alright…off you go."

Once Threepio leaves the room, the agents close in on Anakin. Anakin looks at the men but he is not too concerned…Not yet.

"What's this about? Oh…you guys are here about those men who stopped by this morning?"

The first agent stares hard at Anakin. He is a no-nonsense forty-something agent who looks as if he is angry all the time.

"So, you knew?"

"Yeah! Of course I knew. We were planning a job."

Leia stands between her father and a younger agent. He is a man in his thirties with wispy light brown hair. There is a familiar, cocky air about him. It reminds Anakin of someone he knows. He glances at Anakin with a suspicious eye, and then shows his badge. Leia speaks first.

"Daddy, how could you?"

"I wanted to surprise everyone…geez! There's no keeping secrets around here! I long for the good old days when there were no questions about my decision-making. Leia, why are you so upset? I thought you'd be proud of me."

The agent flashing his badge finally gets a chance to speak.

"Mr. Skywalker, I'm Agent Fox Mulder, these are Agents Scully, Utah, and Senior Agent Ben Harp. I believe you know Lieutenant Nor."

"Yeah, he's my brother-in-Law. Hey, Steph, what's up?"

"Anakin." Stephan is concerned but he is patient and wants to hear Anakin's explanation. In addition, he cannot interfere in an IFBI case.

Agent Harp, the oldest and most senior agent, steps close to Anakin until they are face-to-face. He is not one for games or small talk.

"Mr. Skywalker, this is a serious matter. You have to answer some questions."

"Who are you?"

Harp barely shows his badge.

"Agent Harp. I'm in charge of this investigation. You think this is a damn game don't you?"

Anakin is slightly amused in the way the agent introduces himself. He cannot resist toying with the agent.

"Let's see that again."

"What?"

"Your badge. You flip it like a slick Sabacc player."

The agent begrudgingly shows his badge. Anakin reads it. Harp tries to stare the former Jedi down. It does not work and Harp blinks first.

"Is this good enough?"

"Yeah…you can put it away. So, what's this about? You seem to be going to a lot of trouble for one little hit."

"So, you admit it?"

"Admit it? I'm damned proud of it! I'm going to be a hero around here."

"Perhaps you shouldn't say anymore until you speak to a lawyer."

"Ok…but until Mr. Mostaccholi and his crew do something wrong like seal up the wrong hole…there's no need for a lawyer."

The youngest Agent of the group leans forward, flashes his badge, and shakes Anakin's hand. The agent seems out of place in the group. He's also much friendlier than the others.

"The name's Johnny Utah! I'm an IFBI agent. I'm a transfer from the Okikuti Beach field office. I've got to say, Mr. Skywalker, you rock!"

"Wow, the agency's handing out these badges like candy."

Ben Harp gives the younger agent a dirty look then questions Anakin some more.

"So, Mr. Skywalker, you're confessing to the planned hit on Solo?"

"Excuse me?"

"You planned to have your daughter's boyfriend…"

Leia interrupts.

"Fiancé." She gives her father a dirty look.

"You planned to have you daughter's 'fiancé' killed."

"I did? I wish…He should be killed for corrupting my daughter." Anakin suddenly does a double take as he tries to rewind in his head what Leia has just said.

Agent Scully is confused. She whispers to her partner.

"Agent Mulder, have you considered that something else might be going on here? Something doesn't quite add up."

"He may well have is reasons but he seems to use a lot of psychotics to carry out his job orders. I'm looking for 'The Truth'."

Agent Harp presses on to get answers.

"Mr. Skywalker, you're confessing to conspiring to have Han Solo assassinated."

"What? Whoa!! Wait a minute! Stephan, what's going on?"

"Did you plot to have Han killed?"

"Hell no! Is that what this is all about?"

"You tell us. Why was Fat Bantha in your house?"

"My son recommended his company to me. He's a contractor."

"Yeah, he has a lot of 'different' contracts."

"Oh. I see…So where's Han?"

"He's in a safe house…But that's none of your business."

Leia breathes a sigh of relief.

"Oh, Daddy, I'm so sorry…I thought… He thought…he freaked out. He thought our getting engaged would upset you."

"Well I am now! Engaged? ... Engaged! Oh, god, I can't believe this…You?…and him?" Anakin starts to hyperventilate. Isabel walks over to her husband.

"Anakin, Sweetie? Stay calm."

"I feel so betrayed….Leia…Nooo."

He faints. Leia rolls her eyes.

"Oh brother…here we go again. Don't act so surprised, Daddy, you knew this day was coming. You big faker."

The agents help carry him to the sofa. Agent Scully goes to the kitchen and gets a kitchen towel and some ice. Isabel applies the cool towel to her husband's forehead. He comes to. He reaches for Isabel.

"Isabel …Isabel…my last dying wish…"

"Shhh…I'll get you some aspirin. You have a bump on your head."

He pulls her close.

"Don't leave me. I've got to do one thing before I go."

"Don't be silly, sweetie. You're not going anywhere."

"Oh…yes…I …am going …to kill Han Solo! RAAAAAAAArrrgh!"

He begins swinging wildly as he lies on the sofa. His inarticulate noises make him sound like the Frankenstein creature. Stephan helps subdue him.

Leia rolls her eyes, throws up her arms, and then goes upstairs to her room. She makes a call. The voice on the other end speaks hesitantly.

"So, what's the verdict?"

"Well, it was all a big misunderstanding…He wasn't planning a hit on you."

"Oh…so it's safe?"

"Ummm…well…He knows about the engagement. I think I'm going to suggest you sleep with the lights on tonight."

"Okay. I'll talk to you later."

"I love you."

"I know."

Agent Mulder heads out the door and quips to Scully.

"That went well."

The agents leave. The house is soon quiet. Anakin is in his room. Isabel props up a few pillows to support his back. The doctor has just left after giving Anakin a sedative. Ana-Lena stands in the doorway. Anakin reaches out for her to come in. She walks over to the bed then uses the step stool to climb up to the bed.

"Are you okay, Daddy?"

"I'll be well soon."

"Here, hold my dolly." He accepts the doll. "Feel better now?"

"Yes, thank you, sweet pea. Scoot closer to me." They curl up on the bed. "Ana-Lena?"

"Yes, Daddy?"

"Promise me you'll never disappoint Daddy, okay?"

"Okay, Daddy."

"That's my girl."

_Painting the Sith Red _

The next day the painters and carpenters arrive to work on the room. Anakin is feeling better…physically. Gladys stops by to drop off some documents for him to sign. They stand in the kitchen chatting. She hands him a cup of tea…decaffeinated Bimmisaari Red.

"How are you feeling, Sir?"

"Much better; thanks, Gladys."

"You know…something positive always comes out of situations like this."

"Are you trying to make me feel better?"

"No…that won't come for awhile. But…if I know you…you'll pull through splendidly. Look how far you've come. Han Solo is a nice young man. He loves your daughter and you're going to make sure she's happy. He sure has." Gladys sweeps his hair out of his eyes then gently pinches his cheek. "Come on, smile for your Aunt Gladys."

Anakin cracks half a smile. It hurts just trying. Gladys smiles cheerfully up at him.

"See? That wasn't hard." She helps herself to a cup of tea. Anakin pats his side as if to look for something.

"Where's my Lightsaber?" He makes an attempt to leave the kitchen.

"Now, Anakin cut that out. Sit down and relax….go on. Sit down and think happy thoughts."

He mumbles to himself as he holds the cup to his lips.

"I don't have any."

"Did you say something, dear?" Gladys' voice is sweet and motherly.

"No. Great tea…uhmmm." He raises his cup and smiles pretending to rub his stomach. "This is really soothing."

"Sit."

Anakin plops down on the stool at the kitchen island and pouts. No one feels his pain. No one understands his nightmare.

Meanwhile, Isabel is directing Threepio in setting up the holiday decorations for Befana Eve. Threepio is on a ladder hanging the garland while Artoo acts as a spindle. He is wrapped in 5 meters of garland and travels around the room as the garland is pinned. The scent from the freshly cut pine is intoxicating. It is imported pine from the Endor forest. Isabel's father stops by to help.

Li-An, Alex and Ana-Lena sit on the sofa to watch.

Alex breathes in the fresh scent.

"It smells nice. It feels like Befana Eve already."

Li-An agrees.

"It sure does."

Ana-Lena calls over to her grandfather.

"Grand pop, pin it higher."

"I will, sweetheart."

Gladys walks in and sits with the children. Li-An rests his head against her side. She places her arm around him.

"Gladys?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Is Daddy going to be ok?"

"Of course he is, Li-An. Don't you worry about him. He'll be just fine. Are you ready for Befana Eve?"

"Yes."

"What do you want for Befana Eve?"

"Firecrackers."

"Oh, dear…you'll blow your hand off. Think of something safer." She gently pats him on the knee.

She soon leaves. The children walk her to the door to say goodbye. Hugs and kisses are exchanged.

"Bye, Gladys."

"Bye-Bye, you darling children. Be good."

"We will."

Isabel joins the children at the door.

"Gladys thanks for stopping by. Anakin is truly thankful he has you for guidance."

"He'll be good as new by morning."

"Thanks again."

As soon as Gladys leaves, the three youngest Skywalker children race through the house tormenting one another.

Anakin comes out of his funk for a moment to check on the painters working in the playroom. Nakai walks with him.

"So, you hired painters from Tantive IV Contractors? How's that working out?"

"Ok I guess. It's a subcontractor called _Kamino Bros. Painting and Plastering_. I have no idea what the hell they're saying because they only speak some Corellian dialect. I know one thing; they're working as slow as Rodia molasses. I'm paying these guys 18 credits an hour!"

"Anakin, why didn't you ask me? I could have gotten a good contractor for you."

"Luke suggested them."

"Luke's in-love. What's he know? Since when did you select the first contractor you meet?"

"I've got a lot on my mind."

"You sure do. Fat Bantha's playing you. The slower they work the more you pay and he gets a big cut. Let's go check them out."

The Kamino brothers made one appearance when the work first started. Tony 'Two-Coats' Kamino and his cousin Donny 'Spackles' Kamino met with Anakin during the initial consultation and price quote. Anakin makes the mistake of asking about the 'brother' in the Kamino Bros. 'organization.' 'Spackles' Kamino response is, _'What are you talkin' about?'_ Anakin takes this as a cue not to ask anymore questions. The truth is The brother of Tony 'Two Coats' got into a fight about monies owed him on Tatooine. There was an altercation late one night outside the casino district at Mos Eisley. Rumor has it; a disfigured former surgeon was involved. It is believed that Carlo 'Big Tuna' Kamino _'sleeps'_ with the krayt dragons.

Nakai and Anakin enter the room. Three workers are busy painting and doing detail work on the doors. They smile as Anakin enters the room. Anakin nudges his father-in-law.

"Watch this." He walks over to the workers. "So…how long is this going to take?"

"Buona sera, Signore Skywalker."

"Yeah, right back at you. When will this be done? I was told this is a 3-day job…You haven't made a dent. I've got guests coming…the holiday is just around the corner…so…what it is?"

"Si…Si…Si."

Anakin turns to Nakai.

"See? What did I tell you?"

"Well…how long have they been here?"

"Since six o'clock this morning."

"Be patient, Anakin, the day's not over." Nakai is amused. "Watch this."

"Scusarme...che è il suo nome?"

"Sergio Colavita, Signore."

"L'approvazione, Colavita, questo è la situazione...vogliamo sapere per quanto tempo che questo lavoro di vernice va portare."

"Presto, presto. Tre giorni."

"Bene, ciò non è una risposta soddisfacente, mio genero è un Sith pazzo. Sono un individuo piacevole. Farò non il romperò le sue ossa, ma è non cosí paziente. Se questa stanza non è completata da domani alla sera, va essere molto arrabbiato. Ha un lightsaber e l'userà. Non farlo matto. Va bene?"

"Dio mio...Si...Si...Hai capito, Signore." The head painter gathers his co-workers and explains the situation. They look back at Anakin then listen to Sergio; "Dobbiamo finire il lavoro presto o di sith matto va tritarci nei pezzi col suo lightsaber e ci serve su un piatto da portata a Fat Bantha" Finally, Sergio turns to Nakai and waves nervously. "Okay." He looks back at Anakin with a fearful expression on his face. The others react similarly as they nervously return to work.

Nakai whispers to Anakin. "They like plasma ball. Pretend you're swinging a ball." Anakin obeys. The workers paint faster.

Anakin smiles and waves goodbye. The painters shudder as Nakai and Anakin leave the room.

"Nervous old buggers. What did you say to them?"

"I told them you were going to chop them up in tiny pieces and serve them to Fat Bantha."

"What? I don't want to deal with Fat Bantha again."

"It's okay, I have faith in you. You can handle that gangster. You still have your Lightsaber, right?"

"Yeah…sure."

"You can take him."

"Are you sure you didn't say more than that? It sounds like you said a lot."

"You worry too much. Hey, can I borrow the droid for a few hours tomorrow? I want to hang the lights on my house."

"Sure."

After Nakai hangs the garland, he has a beer with Anakin. The painters leave for the day. Nakai leaves shortly thereafter. Anakin sits. This week is going to be a doozey.

_Baby-Sitting Sith _

The following day, the painters return and immediately get to work. Nakai stops by to pick up the droids.

Luke is currently on assignment on Raxis Prime with Kyle Katarn. They are due back in time for Befana Eve. It has only been two days but Anakin misses his firstborn son. He wanted to get together with Luke. Maybe take a camping trip. That would be nice. The painters work diligently on the playroom. He wants it done because the children are using the play area in their bedroom. They are tormenting each other. This is the first day they are all home together with no school or Youngling classes scheduled.

The painters complete the work on the room. After an inspection, he deems it acceptable. The painters are allowed to leave. An hour after the painters leave, Isabel tells Anakin they have to go out.

"Oh, crap! We don't have a sitter."

"Where's Threepio?"

"I loaned the droids out to your dad."

"What? Anakin! What were you thinking?"

"I'm sorry."

"Who are we going to find at the last minute? Where's Jar-Jar?"

"He's working for Johnni Faytonni. as his producer…don't give me that look, 'Bel. Listen, I'll find someone but don't get picky. We don't have a lot of choices. This is a holiday week. Whatever I decide, just remember, I love you. I'm doing this for us. Don't be mad at me."

Isabel puts her hands on her hips and taps her foot angrily. He gives her one of his goofy grins then picks up the phone. Isabel waves her hand at him. She gives in.

"Fine!"

"Everything will work out, I promise. These kids can tolerate anything. You look beautiful, honey." He waits for someone to pick up the phone on the other end. "Hey, it's me…yes. I'll make this quick, so don't mess with me today because I'm pissed off as it is. I'm giving you an important assignment. Are you up to the challenge?...Just get over here…immediately…that's not my problem…take an air taxi…what?...okay…hello, how are you today? I said it…happy now? ...bye."

Isabel looks at her husband as she sits on the sofa looking bored and irritated.

"This has disaster written all over it; you know that, don't you?"

Twenty minutes later the doorbell rings. Li-An, Alex and Ana-Lena stand behind their father. The visitor crosses the threshold. Ana-Lena grabs hold of her fathers' leg and hides her face.

"Anakin, the holiday traffic is horrible. I got here as fast as I could. Where are the little darlings?"

Anakin steps aside to show the children. Ana-Lena is still clinging to his leg.

"Children, your granddad Palpi is going to baby-sit while your mother and I go out shopping."

Alex looks up at his father.

"I want Grand pop Nakai."

Ana-Lena seconds the request.

"I want Grand pop Nakai too."

"Grand pop Nakai is busy at his house today. You don't spend enough time with gramps Palpi. Go give him a kiss."

The children obey their father. Li-An, feeling a new wave of independence and seniority over the two younger siblings walks up to the old man.

"We expect to have a good time. What activities did you plan for us?"

Palpatine is stumbling over his words. He has never actually had the children alone on his own before.

"Uhmmm…well…why don't we get settled and I'll think of something. Your parents have to leave now." He has the look of desperation on his face.

Ana-Lena looks over to her mother.

"Can I go with you and Daddy?"

"No, sweetie, we'll see you later. Don't you want to be surprised? You don't want your gift now, do you?"

"Yes, I do."

Anakin unglues her from his leg and hands her to Palpatine. The children feel betrayed by their father. He stands back and looks at the four of them together.

"There you go…See? look at this image. We should capture this in a picture."

Li-An looks down at his shoes and pouts.

"It'll break the camera."

Anakin makes a face imploring Li-An to cooperate. He takes his wife by the hand.

"Ok, there's plenty of food in the fridge, bedtime is at 7 o'clock and no one on the terrace after dark."

Palpatine ushers the couple out the door.

"Anakin, I've got it all under control. Come along, children."

The children watch their parents leave. Palpatine closes the door and turns to the children. He has a ridiculous smile on his face. Ana-Lena wants to be let down. He sets her on the floor. Skippy joins them. There is a long silence. Palpatine finally starts the conversation.

"So…who wants to hear about my life on the stage?"

Li-An looks at him.

"Sounds like a bedtime story. You can tell us later."

"So…what do you usually do right now?"

"You don't know much about kids, do you?"

"Uhm...well…I never…uh…"

"We know…our mom thinks you're a madman who kidnaps children and Dad doesn't trust you. Suffice it to say, you don't have a very good track record."

"Well, he must if he's left you here with me."

"Ohhh…he has ways of knowing what's going on."

"Is that so?"

"Yep."

"So, you don't mind me being here?"

"No…we can handle you."

While Anakin is in the speeder with Isabel, he watches the goings on at the house on the navigation screen on the dashboard. Isabel turns to her husband.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"I'm riveted. I'm waiting to see if he has a meltdown. He has no idea what he's in for."

Back at the house, the children sit around the coffee table playing Crazy Eights Sabacc. Palpatine sits in the big armchair examining his hand. The children sit on floor pillows waiting for him to play a card. Alex sighs then stares at Palpatine.

"Hurry up, we don't have all day."

"I need a match or an eight, right?"

"Right."

"Nothing."

"Pick again."

Palpatine has ten cards while the children are each holding five cards or less.

"There's something wrong with this game. How come I'm the one who has the most cards?"

Li-An yawns.

"It not our fault you suck at this."

"Li-An, does your father know you use such language?"

"He says it all the time."

"Your father has a potty mouth sometimes. I love him, but he's not always mindful of the audience around him."

"Wow…that's what Uncle Ben says."

"Ben? Oh, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Where has he been lately?"

"He's on vacation with Aunt Bunny."

"Oh…How is your 'Aunt' Bunny?"

"Fine."

"She gave me some great fashion tips last time we met."

"She sells 'Queen of Naboo' Make-up and 'Yavin4 Cosmetics for Men.' Dad has tons of samples."

"Make-up?"

"No! Of course not! He has aftershave and cologne samples."

Palpatine examines his cards.

"Oh! I have an eight! Now I get to choose a suit…I choose kings!"

"What? How did you get an eight?"

Palpatine smiles then wags his finger at Li-An.

"Sounds as if there may be a cheater in our midst. For shame. Hmmm... looks as if I'm going to finally get rid of some of these cards after all."

He chuckles with shameless glee. No little Skywalker urchin is going to outwit him!

Anakin walks up to the desk of a place he has not visited for three years. Time sure flies. The person at the desk looks up. The two adversaries are eye to eye.

"Oh…it's you."

"Hello, 'witch'. You startled me for a second."

"Hello, Sith. Happy Befana Eve. You missed Halloween, that was two months ago. What brings you here?" She looks across the floor into the triage area. Isabel is having her vitals taken by a nurses' assistant. "Still at it, eh? I she you haven't given her a break. Aren't you done yet?

"Listen, 'Mold-red', I can't help being irresistible. Besides, I've got to build up my army."

"Form please. You know…we offer day surgery for vasectomies. In and out in an hour…think about it. Want a brochure?"

"Nope. Thanks anyway." He notices her new name badge.

"Well, well, well…Mrs. 'Mol-dred Fluoride' Higgins. How's married life? Did he see you without your make-up yet?"

"Yes he did and he is quite happy."

"Is he blind? Cataracts? I hear there's day surgery for that too. Someone should urge him to go. He's going to run to the next galaxy once his sight is restored. Look at you…got highlights in your hair. Fancy earrings. Any other piercings I should know about?"

Mildred Higgins, the former Mildred Florence Ratched, writes some information as she examines the Skywalker admissions paperwork. There is a slight smile on her face as she continues to look down at the form. She is actually happy to see her old nemesis. She missed his taunts and secretly welcomes them now.

"I don't know you well enough to divulge such information."

Anakin leans closer so he can whisper to her without others hearing.

"So, 'Mole-Rat-ched,' how's the professor…you know…" Anakin playfully pumps his fist. She bites her lip and continues to ignore him and his inappropriate gestures. However, she gives one telltale sign she is enjoying this banter. Anakin notices a crease in the corner of her eye and her cheeks are rosy. She is almost laughing.

"Mr. Skywalker, I recall sending you a 'thank you' card for the beautiful wedding gift. You want a 'thank you in person now? Okay, 'Thank you.'"

"Your 'thank you' is accepted. You know…I was shocked when I heard you two eloped. 'Mold-Rat,' you minx. You cheated me out of a wedding. I had my suit all ready. I must say that I am deeply hurt."

"Really?"

"Yeah…I never got to dance with the blushing old bride and her old, old husband."

"Well, I'm sure you'll have a use for it in the future."

"Don't remind me."

"Of what?"

"Nothing. So…are our papers in order?"

"Yes."

"Can I go now?"

"No."

"Now what?"

"Aren't you going to show me any pictures?"

Anakin smiles, pulls out his new Holopod album, and shows Nurse 'Higgins' holographs of the family. She can tell he is proud of the collection.

"Well, she's going to be a real heartbreaker when she grows up."

"She already is."

"Daddy's little girl. How did you get blessed with two beautiful daughters in that sea of boys?"

"I don't know. It's as if they're slipping through my fingers."

Mildred places her hand over his. She understands.

"You know what? No matter where they go or whom they marry, you'll always be the most important man in their lives. You'll never lose you daughters. Don't you forget that."

"Thanks. I needed to hear that."

"Now go on upstairs to your wife. I'm sure she's going to be thrilled to see you."

"I don't care what you say, Mildred, They'll be no day surgery for me."

"Good for you."

"Well. I guess this is it…I'm going to miss this place."

"Get out of here. Congratulations, Mr. Skywalker, Happy Befana Eve"

"Thank you Mrs. Higgins, Happy Befana Eve."

Anakin rejoins his wife for the birth of their new son.

Luke, Leia, Li-An, Alex, and Ana-Lena have a new baby brother…

Krizstan Nicholas Skywalker

_Born 19:40hrs_

_7 lbs 4ozs. 20in_

_Coruscant University Hospital_

_His Proud Parents_

Anakin and Isabel Skywalker

Anakin rests with his wife and newest member of the family. His wife reassures him that he will never be alone. There will always be at least one Skywalker child around for Anakin to torment.

A bizarre change in the weather causes blast of cold Hoth air to shift up the Corellian Trade Spine to the Core Worlds Region. A light but steady snowfall blankets the Coruscant area. Anakin looks out of the window from the hospital bed. He takes the baby and walks over to the window.

A silhouette of the Jedi Temple can be seen in the distance. He pulls up a chair and stares out onto the city. Four snow angels appear around him. Anakin looks down at the infant then drifts off to sleep.

Morning –

The house is quiet. Luke sets his bags in the foyer and dumps his card key in the bowl on the table. Luke does not arrive alone. There is someone waiting at the front door. He hangs up his parka. Skippy boots up at the sound of footsteps. He greets Luke and the visitor.

"Hey, Skip. How are you doing, boy?' Where is everyone?" He looks around until he sees an unexpected sight. He blinks a few times to make sure what he is seeing is true.

Palpatine and Li-An are fast asleep on the sofa. A down comforter covers them. Li-An rests his head against his grandfather's side. Luke goes upstairs. Alex and Ana-Lena are each in their beds asleep.

Luke remembers to turn on his mobile phone. He has messages. Two from Leia, one marked urgent from his father. Another from Obi-Wan, fifteen from Mara, and three from Han. All three of Han's are marked 'urgent.' Luke selects the one from his father first. He smiles; he opens the others in the following order: Leia, Obi-Wan, Han and a random message from Mara. He needs not open all of Mara's since they all say the same thing, _'I love you' _In the form of icons._ The blinking 'eye' _creeps him out_, _as does the '_pumping heart' _and the_ 'baying sheep.'_

Palpatine wakes up suddenly to a tap on the knee.

"What the…oh…it's you…what are you doing here my little green friend?"

"Baby-sitting are you? Sleeping sitting looks like. Heheheh!"

Palpatine rubs his knee from the gimer stick assault.

"I did a good job if I may say so myself. Why are you here?"

"Talk to Anakin, I must."

"So, Luke, how are you my boy?"

"I'm fine, Palps."

"How was your mission?"

"It went well, thanks. Did Dad call about the baby?"

"Yes, but the children were in bed. What a wonderful week this is."

"How did the evening go with the 'Gang of Three'?"

"They were quite entertaining. I'm going to go for a shower and change my clothes."

Luke inspects the kitchen and finds a pizza box. Li-An has awaken. Luke holds up the box.

"What's this?"

"A box."

"I know that. Who said you could order pizza?"

"It was for dinner."

"Dad did not give permission for pizza. Where did you get the money?"

"Grandpa bought it."

"The money I saw in your hand while you were sleeping."

"Oh that…we were playing cards."

"You took money from your brother and sister?"

"No. They don't have any money. I won it from Grandpa after they went to bed."

"How much did you take from him?"

"Thirty-five credits."

"Hmmm…not bad." Go upstairs and get washed. We're going to see Mom and Dad and your new brother."

"Am I in trouble?"

"That's for Dad to decide. You should have been in bed by seven."

Yoda is rummaging through the leftovers in the pizza box.

All of the children are soon awake, dressed and have breakfast. They run outside to see the snow. Luke calls Palpatine to help herd the children into the YUV. Yoda trails behind.

When they arrive, Leia is there. The children gather around the bed to get their first glimpse of their new baby brother. Ana-Lena is especially happy. She has someone to look up to her.

Anakin and Leia stand near the window chatting.

"Daddy, I didn't mean for you to find out the way you did. I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's done. Was he at least romantic about it?"

"In his own way…you know…we're talking about Han."

She shrugs.

"What happened to that nice grad student who came over her a few times? He seemed nice."

Leia scratches her forehead. She is slightly amused by her father's tactics to get her to change her mind.

"Nelson? Dad, will you please stop. We're just friends. You are a real piece of work, you know that?"

"…Just thought I'd ask." He flashes a mischievous smile and raises his eyebrows.

"Dad…" She nods her head towards the door. Anakin looks through the viewing window. Han is pacing outside looking down in the mouth. Anakin kisses his first-born daughter on the forehead then walks outside.

"Hey, Solo…"

"Hello, Sir. Congratulations."

"Thanks. Sit down." They sit and talk. "Sorry about all the confusion the other day. Turns out the Feds were investigating Fat Bantha and put a listening device in his shoe when he stopped for a shine. They thought they were on a lead when the men arrived at my house. I don't really want you dead…I had reservations about you and my daughter…sure…I just love my daughter and I want her to be happy."

"I…can make her happy…I will make her happy. I'm not trying to take her away from you, Mr. Skywalker. I wouldn't know how. She adores you."

"She said that?"

"Sure. You're the center of her universe. I'm just a runner-up."

"So, I understand your parents are coming for a visit."

"Yeah…they're tired of me telling people I was raised by Wookies."

"Are they anything like you?"

"No."

"I like them already."

Anakin turns and looks back through the hospital room window. Leia is chatting with Isabel on the bed. She smiles back at him.

Ana-Lena is beaming. She finally has her Befana Eve gift.

_To be continued… 'Double O'Solo Mio' _

* * *


	127. Chapter 127 Double O' Solo Mio

_Chapter 127_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Double O'Solo Mio'_

'_When You Wish Upon A Star…'_

'_Law & Disorder SVU'_

_(Sith Victims Unit)_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Befana Eve this year for the Skywalkers is bustling with activity. Isabel is home with the new baby. Ana-Lena is protective of him. Kris is all hers and she shadows her mother all day. Ana-Lena's two favorite dolls are abandoned. One is laying facedown on the window sofa in her father's office. The other is on the shelf in her room along with the other 20 or so dolls. Kris is her real live doll.

Isabel's parents visit with the children to give Isabel some well-needed rest. A few days earlier Threepio and Artoo help organize things in the children's rooms. Anakin is summoned immediately to the room to take care of something. One Youngling is in a sith-full of trouble.

Luke takes Mara to see one of Palpatine's shows. It is a special matinee holiday performance of _'It's a Wonderful Sith Life'_. Mara cannot help but laugh throughout the performance.

The only reason she accompanies Luke is to keep him company while he entertains Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru during their holiday stay. Everyone else at home is busy and Owen just gets in the way with his steadfast opinions and lack of humor. Anakin suggests a day on the town and immediately 'drafts' Luke.

Luke and Leia are used to Owen's gruff demeanor but the younger Skywalker siblings are afraid of him. Whenever they misbehave, Anakin threatens to send them to 'Scared-Straight Owen Boot Camp' on Tatooine. The three children shape up quickly. This tactic works like a charm every time.

Mara's laughter is contagious. Luke tries to hold in a giggle when she turns to him, waiting for his response. He tries to ignore her. He will not let her make him laugh. Palpatine enters the stage in the third scene. There is a heckler in the audience.

Palpatine as GEORGE BAILEY (dejectedly) _'Oh, I don't know. I guess you're right. I suppose it would have been better if I'd never been born at all.'_

Alfred as CLARENCE 'What'd_ you say?'_

Palpatine as GEORGE BAILEY 'I_ said I wish I'd never been born.'_

Someone yells from the audience.

"So do we!"

The actors try to remain in character.

Alfred as CLARENCE _'Oh, you mustn't say things like that. You . . .' _(gets an idea)_ . . . wait a minute. Wait a minute. That's an idea…'_

The audience heckler calls out again.

"Kill him! Kill him!"

Mara turns to see their friends Kyp and Kyle laughing in the back of the theatre. She is sinking in her seat giggling.

Owen finds her 'inappropriate laughing' disturbing. After the performance, everyone heads out of the theatre to wait for the show's star.

"That girl laughs at everything. I can't see how Luke puts up with that."

"There's someone for everyone, Owen. I think they look sweet together."

"Bacon and eggs go together but do you see Eopies and Ducks getting married?"

"No…but…"

"The bottom line is no one has an old-fashioned, stable relationship like ours. Anakin needs to tighten the reins on those kids. Look at Leia. She's with that man who is much too old for her."

"Well, they seem happy."

"We'll see how long that will last."

"Oh, Owen, look, I think the stars of the show are about to come out the door. We have to get autographs!"

'_Sith Deal or No Deal'_

Later that afternoon Obi-Wan and Aunt Bunny arrive bearing gifts. She hands Luke his gift as soon as he returns from the theatre.

"Don't worry, Sugar, it's not a Game Pod."

"That's okay, Aunt Bun. I don't mind." He opens the box. The box feels much heavier than a Game Pod and much bigger. It is a collector's edition of the 'Chewie and Boga' show. "Wow! I was looking at this at the hobby store in the mall. Cool! Thanks. This is great!"

Aunt Bunny has a special gift for each of the Skywalker children. She gives Leia pole dancer's instructional holovid. This is one gift Leia will keep under 'wraps'. If her father sees it, he would have one of his fainting spells again. He is still in denial over the so-called engagement.

The other children receive gifts of questionable appropriateness. Aunt Bunny gives Isabel a gift for the baby. It is a blue and white t-shirt wit ''I'm a Little Man Who Likes Big Boobs,' embroidered across the front. Ana-Lena receives sequined play high heel pumps and a kiddie make-up set. Alex gets a guitar with an amplifier. Years from now, this gift will almost alter Alex's future as a Jedi. It will be a source of great distress for Anakin when the parking bay is turned into a rehearsal room for Alex and his rock band.

Li-An receives a magic kit and a 'Mos Eisley Junior Casino Set.' The set includes a beginner's deck of Cloud City Sabacc cards. An elated Li-An runs to show his father as Anakin is heading out of the living room.

"Dad! Look what Aunt Bunny gave me! It is so cool! I can take it to Jedi class and show all the other kids."

"Let me have a look at that." Li-An proudly hands it to his father for inspection. He smiles up as his father. Anakin sees the gap in Li-An's mouth where two teeth should be. The new teeth are poking through. Anakin almost laughs. "Hmmm…Aunt Bunny gave you this?"

"Yeah. You want to try it out?"

"Later…go play."

"Well…I was going to play with that."

"Let me inspect it for small parts first."

"Dad! I'm not 3 years old."

"I know how old you are. What are you looking at me for? Run along."

"…But…"

"I'll get back to you. Go on. There's nothing left for you to see here."

"I don't think that's a fair deal."

Li-An turns and walks back towards the living room where the rest of the family enjoys their gifts.

Anakin goes into the kitchen during the gift unwrapping madness. He tosses the gift on top of the refrigerator. He pours himself a cup of jawa. Palpatine walks in and holds out his cup. Anakin gives him a look then fills the old man's cup.

"Are you following me?"

"Don't be silly, Anakin. Actually, this is good. We can chat without the noise in there."

"I like the noise."

"Why are you in here?"

"None of your business. It's my house."

"You must still be in shock over this half-assed announcement from Leia. She shouldn't have done this to you, Anakin. You poor boy. These children have no respect for your authority in this household. If there's anything…anything at all that I can do for you…I implore you, please…call me. …You know, Anakin, I was thinking…if you gave me back my powers, I could take care of this Han Solo 'situation' once and for all. With my powers restored, I could reinstate this family to its rightful status in the galaxy…I could…"

"Nice try…No!"

"Think it over…no need to rush…"

"I'm thinking…No! Don't start with me today. I'm having a good time so far. Don't ruin it for me."

"Have I done anything satisfactory in your eyes? After all this time…Can't you trust me? What have I done right…tell me."

"You were an 'okay' baby sitter." He takes another sip from his cup.

Palpatine manages a smile. He is quite proud of himself.

"Really?'

"Yeah…you weren't half bad. You got suckered by a 7 year old, but not bad for the first try."

"You mean I get to take care of the little ones again?"

"We'll see."

"Uhmmm…Good jawa is like a good father-son relationship: rich and warm and strong."

"You watch too much daytime TV. You're quoting commercials now. Our relationship is nothing like that."

"Well, you didn't have to say it like that, Anakin. I have feelings too."

"Fine, I apologize."

Anakin looks over the rim of his cup and sees a face he had not seen in a long time. He is relieved.

"Obi-Wan! Welcome back! I was waiting to get a moment with you. How was your vacation?"

"It was great. I got some 'R' and 'R'. The weather was splendid. I heard about your little run-in with the Feds."

"Yeah! Do you believe that crap? The agency sent a formal apology for the mistake though, so I'm in the clear."

"And where is your soon -to-be son-in-law?"

"Probably hiding out. I'm sure he thinks I still want to kill him."

"Do you?"

"Obi-Wan, when have I ever held a grudge?"

"Well…"

"…this week."

"Anakin, he'll make her happy. I believe it."

"He had better make her happy everyday of his nerfherding life or he'll have more to be afraid of than snakes and scurriers…the big baby."

"Ah…I see…incentives."

"Damned straight, I'll give him incentives." Anakin takes another sip from his cup.

Owen and Beru give discount gift cards to everyone for their new business venture B & O's Desert Spa Farm. Anakin thought they needed to work on the name or hire an advertising firm. Being the spendthrift that he is, Owen argues that he could do a better job than any publicist or advertising firm could. He wanted to reinvest his 'profits'. Why give some rip-off advertising firm his hard-earned credits? Anakin decides not to argue with the stubborn man.

Beru is on her fourth cup of eggnog. She 'doctors it up with a miniature bottle of Savareen Brandy she got during the flight from Tatooine. Outer Rim Transport is a popular commercial transportline. Mostly business people or vacationers heading to the casinos at Mos Eisley or to the Dune Sea resort areas use it. Daily non-connecting flights take off 3 times a day take off from Coruscant Intergalactic Spaceport.

Owen and Beru usually fly economy coach to Coruscant. Luke thought it would be nice for them to experience flying first-class. Owen always thought it was a waste of money. Whenever Anakin would send a pair of first class tickets to them, Owen would trade them in for economy coach seats but he would complain to the flight crew during the entire trip. This time, Beru talks him into flying first class. Owen has to admit, he enjoys the cushy seating and the service. However, he did, do what everyone predicted he would do. He asked the flight attendants the price of everything they were given. Beru was thrilled with the freebies. She stashes all of her liquor bottles in her purse.

It is late afternoon when Anakin invites everyone to stay to celebrate at midnight. He sees Li-An, who is sitting in the window seat of the foyer. The two had not spent much time together since Anakin had a little 'chat' with his son about his antics during the past week. He walks over to the sulking child.

"Hey, pal, did you have a nice day?"

"I guess." Li-An speaks in a quiet voice.

"What's the matter? Are you upset that I scolded you for ordering pizza without my permission? I swear you're getting to be more like Luke everyday with the antics. I can't believe you were gambling in Sabacc. What am I going to do with you? You have a lot to be thankful for this year. Look on the bright side. You won't be on punishment until after the holiday. How's that?"

"Okay I guess. But, Dad, you gamble on pod races and…"

Anakin raises a finger to signal for his son to stop talking.

"Tut…tut…this isn't about me. ...and I don't want to hear anymore about your celebrity Sabacc games. Don't follow the path of Han Solo. He's no altar boy. Are we understood?"

"Yes sir..."

"Good. So…did you get everything you wanted for Befana Eve? Scoot over."

Anakin sees that this conversation requires a 'sit-down' and some 'quality time with his second oldest son. He has been so busy lately; he has not spent much time with the boys. He sits in the window seat with his son and continues to listen to him.

"Yes, I got a lot of nice stuff. I only asked for one thing."

"…But you didn't get what you were hoping for, eh?" Anakin gently nudges him

"It's not important."

"Hey, listen, at midnight I need your help with something."

"I can stay up late?"

"It's Befana Eve, of course you can stay up late."

"Can Alex stay up late too?"

"Sure. He needs to take a nap first. We'll wake him up in time. You know how cranky he gets when he doesn't get enough sleep."

"Yeah…he gets like you…" Anakin looks at Li-An. "Well, Dad…he does. What about Ana-Lena?"

"Everyone can stay up."

"Do I get to drink champagne?"

"Sure you do."

"Really?"

"No! You're not getting champagne." Anakin reaches over and runs his fingers through Li-An's beautiful mane of blond hair.

Li-An shrugs with a sheepish smile

"Well, it was a try."

"You'll get Champagne-Lite."

"Oh…sweet milk and soda. I thought so"

"You like it. Anyway, it's better for you…Stop trying to grow up so fast. Where is this coming from?"

"Obi-Wan says I'm a lot like you."

"I'm not perfect. Don't try to be too much like me."

"I think you're perfect, Dad."

"You do? Why thank you, Li…I'm flattered….but seriously, I've made mistakes."

"Really?"

"Big ones."

"Oh."

"So don't try to grow up so fast. I want to enjoy your childhood with you."

_-The Big Bang Theory -_

Just before midnight, Threepio walks around with an hors d'oeuvres tray. Obi-Wan is at the bar filling champagne flutes with Corellian Champagne. On a separate tray, he pours a concoction of blue milk, honey, and club soda for the children. Han Solo passes by the bar area as Obi-Wan plays bartender.

"I hope you remember which ones to give the children."

"Don't you worry…I'm quite experienced at this."

Obi-Wan loads some of the drinks on a tray. Artoo whirls around the room serving the drinks to the guests. Aunt Bunny sneaks a sip of champagne to Li-An. He wrinkles his nose and makes a face. He wonders what all the fuss is about. He settles for the old reliable and tasty blue milk cocktail.

Lando arrives with his wife. They were on there way to another celebration but decide to stay awhile.

He slaps Han on the back and gives Leia a kiss to congratulate the couple. He is discreet about it because Han let it slip one day while asking Lando about special occasion jewelry. Lando knows quite well what 'Special Occasion Jewelry' is. It is only purchased and given for anniversaries, weddings, and engagements. It would be more substantial and precious than what he had given her a few years before.

Han makes one big mistake. He told Chewie before Anakin. He had better hope Anakin does not find out about this.

Alex and Ana-Lena wake up from their nap. They are in their pajamas. Isabel brings them downstairs along with the baby. Kris sleeps soundly in Anakin's study.

Ana-Lena wears her beach sunglasses and has a fluffy pink boa that she wears over a brocade robe. The robe is a gift from her grandmother. Ouisanne would let Ana-Lena play 'dress-up' while her grandmother's friends had tea. Ouisanne's bridge partners thought the tot looked adorable. Ana-Lena would also visit with her cousins and play dress-up with them. Li-An and Alex would escape this onslaught of women with tea, to join their grandfather for a ride on the lake in the canoe.

On this holiday evening, Ana-Lena sips her "Blue Milk Champagne." She is the epitome of sophistication holding her aperitif glass with her pinky extended. She and Alex toast their glasses with Obi-Wan.

Anakin looks around the room for Li-An. He finds him with Leia, Luke, and Han.

"Excuse me; may I borrow my soon-to-be Padawan son?"

Luke smiles.

"Li, you're in demand, kid."

"What did I do this time? Am I in trouble? I only took a sip. It wasn't even good."

Anakin is amused by Li-An's confession. He knows Li-An couldn't stay out of trouble for long but this one transgression is forgiven.

"No…not this time…your trial date will be set after the holiday. Come with me."

"Gee, Dad, does everyone have to know?"

"It wasn't exactly a secret, son. Come on. I need your assistance."

Luke smiles knowingly.

"Go on, Li. Have yourself a blast."

Father and 'number two' son leave the entourage. Li-An looks up at his father.

"Where are we going, Dad?"

"You'll see."

"We're heading for the terrace. Are we going to have another talk? What did I do this time?"

"Have you been playing with firecrackers behind my back?"

"No! Honest, Dad...never!"

"Good…How about we skip to the pro stuff?"

"Wha…What do you mean?"

Anakin walks out onto the terrace. Li-An follows hesitantly but obediently. Anakin leads him to a black console on the left of the garden wall. Anakin gives Li-An a robe to wear. It resembles a Jedi robe but it is red. He places a blue conical-shaped hat on Li-An's head. The hat is decorated with half-moons and stars. Li-An likes it.

"What's this, Dad?" He examines the console as he tries to push the long sleeves up so he can point to the controls. Anakin gives his son instructions.

"Slide the first lever forward and see. You're going to create a bit of magic."

Li-An looks at his father then obeys. He can just reach the console. Anakin lifts him on a footstool so he can get a full view of the controls. Each switch serves a different function. Li-An can reach the switch easier now.

Suddenly Li-An hears a swooshing sound, then a dull thunder-like roar followed by a spray of lights that sail across the sky. Each light turns into a vibrant array of colors, one by one, as if being painted. The multi-colored lights dance high the sky. As each display dissolves into the night, billions of tinkling lights sprinkle over the city, some of them shoot high above the spire of the Jedi Temple. It resembles sparkling dust. Li-An is almost speechless.

"Whoa!"

He selects another switch. A giant image appears. It is in the form of an Ewok. The Jedi emblem appears next and then there is something that Li-An does not recognize. It is a giant circle with two smaller circles attached close to the top. The smaller circles remind him of ears of some kind.

Alex and Ana-Lena hurry outside. They have been watching from their bedroom window. Anakin lifts Alex onto his shoulders.

"Look, Daddy! It's the firefly lady!"

Ana-Lena sits on Luke's shoulders.

"It's the blue butterfly princess!"

Li-An smiles and looks at his father.

"Dad, how did you know about…?"

"You can't keep secrets from me. I did a clean sweep of your room. I find everything."

This is certainly true. The day the droids call him into the children's rooms, he heads for the closet. A bright glow leaks out from bottom of the door. He opens the door and finds a jar. Inside is one annoyed little pixie.

Leia and Han sit together on the patio bench holding hands. Anakin turns to look at Obi-Wan. They exchange a smile. Isabel walks out with the rest of the family and guests. She stands in the doorway to listen for the baby sleeping in the study. She feels something on her shoulders. It is a cashmere bantha throw. She looks from the corner of her eye. It is Palpatine. Isabel manages a slight smile. Anakin turns and shrugs his shoulders. He gives her a wink. Four Force Ghosts sit high above on the terrace awning.

Everyone's eyes are looking into the heavens. It is a beautiful night to behold.

Li-An's Defense Team – 'I Plead the Sith'

(If Perry Mason Were Here He Would Have Fallen Out of His Wheelchair)

Right after the holiday, Anakin is in his study sitting at his desk. He twists slowly in his chair awaiting the arrival of the defendant. He looks at the clock. No one has arrived. He walks out and goes upstairs. No one.

Artoo positions himself at one side of the desk performing duties as the ad hoc court stenographer. Threepio stands at the door as bailiff. A hauntingly smoky jazz music theme from a vintage earthling TV show plays in the background. A voice-over narrator speaks:

"_In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the Coruscant police, who investigate crime; and the Galactic district attorneys, who prosecute the offenders. These aren't their stories. " _

Sound Effect: **Dah-Dun!**

Time: 11:35a.m.

Skywalker Residence

620 Faleen HyperDrive

Threepio closes the door after the prosecution and defense teams arrive. Luke and Leia sit on the sofa near the window with Isabel's mother. Aunt Bunny sits in a chair behind the defense team. She 'helps' Obi-Wan with his 'paperwork.' The droid slams the door closed after everyone takes a seat. Someone is on the other side waiting to come in. The voice sounds angry.

"Threepio!" The door swings open and Anakin walks in dressed in his dark cloak. He gives the droid a dirty look.

Threepio announces him.

"Here ye, Here ye, court is now in session. The honorable and fearsome Judge Lord Vader presiding. All rise!"

Anakin looks at everyone.

"Thank-you, Rusty…I mean Bailiff Threepio…"

"I beg your pardon, Sir, but my exterior is made of non-corrosive metals. There's not one rusted part on me. I'm quite proud of that fact…your honor…sir."

Anakin returns a blank stare.

"Are you quite through, Bailiff?"

"Yes, your honor."

"Step away from my desk. Will everyone please sit down? Geez! Alright! This is the case of 'The People vs. Li-An Jinn Skywalker'. Mr. Skywalker, you are charged with racketeering, smuggling combustible materials into a domestic residence, illegal harboring and holding hostage of certain 'life forms, tormenting minor siblings, and most recently, the sampling alcoholic beverages and underage drinking of said alcoholic beverages. How do you plead, felon?"

The lead attorney for the defense speaks.

"Excuse me, your honor, but I don't believe it is appropriate for the judge to pass judgment on said defendant until it is deemed appropriate to announce sentencing...if my client is found guilty. Nothing has been proven."

"What? Why are you here?"

"I am head defense attorney for young Mr. Skywalker, your honor."

Li-An interrupts.

"Dad, your honor, sir, this is my defense team, Jedi Master Ben Kenobi, Master Qui-Gon Jinn and Jedi Master Mace Windu."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, Dad, your honor."

"How do you plead, youngling?"

"Not guilty, your honor!"

"Hmmm…we'll see about that. What has the prosecution to say? Threepio, where is the prosecutor for this case?"

"I believe the Skywalker district attorney is in the process of nursing the younger sibling of the defendant, your honor. She left this note for you."

Anakin rips the note out of the droid's hand. He unfolds the paper. The note reads, _'You must be joking.' _He is not amused by such insolence.

"Go out there and find out how long it's going to take."

"Yes, Master."

"And you tell her if she holds up this court, I'll find her in contempt."

After several minutes, Isabel enters the room. Anakin stares at her. She gives him a dirty look.

"This is a waste of my time."

"You're late, lady prosecutor."

"I have things to do. I don't have time for this nonsense."

"I'll hold you in contempt."

"Don't point that gavel at me."

"Respect this courtroom."

"It's your study and bite me." She plops down in the chair.

"That can be arranged. You look hot by the way. The defendant has entered a 'Not Guilty' plea. I'm setting bail at 35 credits."

Obi-Wan stands.

"I object!"

"On what grounds?"

"On the grounds that my client won the money fair and square."

"What say you, lady prosecutor?"

"Will you stop calling me that? Furthermore, I suggest the funds be placed in an interest-bearing escrow account until said defendant turns 18 years of age."

"Oh…uhmm…okay…call your first witness."

"I don't have any, your honor."

Anakin releases a frustrated sigh. He waves his hand for everyone to approach his desk.

"Counsel, approach the bench."

Isabel and Obi-Wan, Mace and Qui-Gon approach Anakin's desk. Judge 'Ani' glances at the two Force Ghosts and rolls his eyes.

"Lady prosecutor need I remind you that you need to come prepared?"

Isabel places her hands on her hips. They whisper at the desk. The defense counsel is still there with them.

"I'm busy!"

"Are you sassing me?"

"Possibly."

"Hmmm…I like it… but seriously, I'm going to have you disbarred."

"Is that a threat?"

"Ooooh, you like being disbarred? The things I could do to you…I've got some binders in the drawer…"

He leans over and sniffs. "New perfume, Lady Prosecutor?"

"Yes."

"It's intoxicating. A gift from someone I know?"

"Maybe…"

Obi-Wan interrupts.

"This is highly unusual. The defense requests that the judge recuse himself from this case."

"What? Why? On what grounds?"

"On the grounds that the judge and the prosecution know each other socially, therefore my client cannot be assured of a fair trial."

"Get out of town! He's got free dental and free schooling. His life is fair enough." Call your first witness."

He bangs his gavel. He likes the gavel. The judge who presided over his child custody case gave it to him. She had recently retired and decided Anakin should have it. She tells him during her retirement dinner that his case was the most profound impression in all of her years in family court. If anyone deserved it, he did.

Both counsel returns to their seats. Obi-Wan stands again.

"I call Dantius Palpatine to the stand, your honor."

Palpatine enters the study. Threepio approaches him. There is a 'ghostly outburst' from the defense table before Threepio says anything.

'_Guilty!'_

Master Windu covers his mouth after his outburst.

'_Oops, sorry, judge…flashback…but seriously…can't we try him for past war crimes…murder…I've been reading the law books in the judges' chambers over the years. I think I have a case.'_

"Try to hold it in, Master Windu."

Palpatine cannot hear the Jedi ghost, nor can he hear them but he knows they are in the room. He is not comfortable with this.

Qui-Gon whispers to Mace.

'_I think there's something in the books about the statues of eliminations.'_

Obi-wan interrupts and Force-talks to Mace and Qui-Gon.

"Master Qui-Gon, I believe the correct phrase is 'Statute of Limitations' and it does not apply because this is not a murder case…and you settled with Anakin, Master Windu…"

'_I didn't settle with 'Ol' Gray Sith' over there! I should be able to file...' _

"Shh! The witness is not on trial here!"

'_Well, he should be!'_

Anakin waits for them to 'finish their conversation'. He impatiently taps his fingers on the desk. Suddenly he slams down his gavel to get their attention.

"Defense counsel, do you mind?"

Obi-Wan stands.

"I apologize, your honor."

"Thank you. Bailiff, please continue swearing in the witness."

Palpatine turns to Anakin.

"The spirit of Master Windu is here, isn't he? Is he here to kill me?"

"No. He's just here to make you uncomfortable." Anakin yells at the droids. "Will you please swear in the witness?"

Threepio turns to the old man.

"Raise your left hand and place your right hand on the Jedi Bible."

"I will not!"

"But you have to give an oath. Whatever are you afraid of? Think it will burn your hand? Heheheh!"

"Of course not. Don't be silly! I have nothing to be afraid of."

He holds his hand 'over' the book but does not touch it. The droid grabs his hand and holds it down on the book.

"Do you swear that the testimony you are about to give is the truth and nothing but the truth so help your pathetic Sith soul?"

"There's no need to get personal you heap of scrap metal….I do…hey, it didn't burn! That went well."

Suddenly he feels a jolt through his body. "Owh!"

Anakin chuckles as he releases the button under his desk to the remote control tazer. Threepio laughs.

"You may be seated." He turns to Anakin. "Master, Ani, you are the jokester today, aren't you?"

"This hearing is no joke. Go guard the door."

Obi-Wan approaches the witness.

"State your name for the record."

The old Sith wrings his affected hand as he sits.

"You know my name, Master Jedi." Palpatine turns to Anakin. "Anakin, is this terribly necessary? No one has time for this silly game of yours."

Obi-Wan points to him.

"Your honor, I would like permission to treat the witness as hostile."

"The hostile witness will answer the question."

The old man grumbles. He begrudgingly responds.

"Dantius Palpatine. You old fool."

"Who's more the fool….never mind. What's your relationship to the defendant?"

"I'm his grandfather."

"Pity. Is it true that on the night in question, you engaged in illegal gambling activity with a minor?"

"It was a child's card game."

"Did you or did you not play for money?"

"Not at first…but sure. Who would refuse money to a child with such an adorable face?"

Li-An smiles showing his new front teeth that are coming in. He swings his legs as they dangle from the chair. His hands are folded on the table. His grandmother smiles at his angelic face. Obi-Wan continues his questioning.

"How much did my client win?"

"Thirty-five credits."

"So you played willingly, fully aware that money was going to be exchanged."

He looks out at the courtroom for 'emphasis.' His long Jedi robe flows as he turns. The witness answers the question.

"Well…yes."

"What time did the game end?"

"Oh…I don't know…ten…eleven o'clock…I don't recall."

"What time was he supposed to be in bed?"

"Uhmmm…."

"Seven o'clock, Mr. Palpatine! This poor child was up way past his bedtime. You were the adult. My client was unable to make a sound judgment about his bedtime since he is a minor, your honor! He was left on the sofa in the same clothes he wore during the day. Who would do that to a child, your honor? Aha! I rest my case."

Anakin looks to Isabel as she tries to sneak out of the room.

"Does the prosecution have anything to say?"

"No, your honor. I see no reason to take up anymore of the people's time." She sits down.

Anakin turns back to Obi-Wan.

"Call your next witness."

"The defense calls Ms. Bunny Harrington to the stand."

Aunt bunny gets up and sashays over to the witness stand. She is wearing a form-fitting red dress and 3-inch matching red pumps. She takes a seat and crosses her legs after the droid swears her in. The ghosts tip their heads to the side. Ouisanne covers Luke's eyes. Everyone forgets about covering Li-An's eyes. Leia lets out a muffled squeal as she covers her mouth in shock. She leaves the sofa and covers his eyes. Threepio becomes disoriented. He almost walks into the bookcase. Isabel turns her head. This is one time she wishes she had some papers to read. She reaches behind her chair and grabs a book from the case.

Anakin does not have the same 'view' as everyone else. He bangs his gavel. Aunt Bunny looks at him and smiles.

"Anakin, honey, how are you doing today?"

"I'm fine. Thanks. Counsel, please proceed."

Obi-Wan approaches the witness.

"Tell, me Ms. Harrington, on the evening of Befana Eve, did you encourage my client to drink alcohol?"

"No, I did not encourage him."

"So how did he get champagne?"

"The glass was almost empty. I let him sample what was left."

"So, you did encourage him."

"Well, I didn't turn him down. I don't know what the fuss is all about, sugar. Isn't it better that they get a taste so they won't sneak around later? I know this from experience."

"And what experience is that, Ms. Harrington?"

"I provide adult entertainment to gentlemen…but I recently started a side business in cosmetics and fragrance." She reaches for something from the cleavage of her red dress and pulls out a tiny square of paper with a crystal vial attached. She hands it to Anakin. "Anakin, sugar, I meant to give this to you last time I was here. It's a sample of the latest fragrance for men. It's called _'Tatooine Sky'_. Tell me how you like it. Obi-Wan prefers the _'Kamino Sea Breeze'_ but I think this would smell fabulous on you, Sug."

Anakin fumbles with the tiny packet. He is a bit embarrassed at first. He pulls off the stopper to the sample then sniffs it.

"Hmmm…not bad…thanks." He looks up then returns to the business at hand. "Oh. As you were, Counselor." He bangs the gavel. This constant and indiscriminant use of the gavel startles Isabel.

Obi-Wan continues his questioning.

"So, what is your opinion of my client's character…Ms. Harrington?"

"Li-An is a little angel. He's going to be one handsome heartbreaker in several years. I just know it!"

"So you believe he will be an upstanding citizen, contributing to the greater good?"

"I certainly do, Sugar."

"Thank you, Ms. Harrington." He kisses her hand.

"Thank you…and may I say, you're doing a fantastic job, Babe. You too, Anakin, sweetie, I know you will do right by that little boy over there."

"Uhmmm…thanks. You may step down."

Qui-Gon protests.

'_Why can't she stay where she is?'_

Anakin ignores him. Instead, he turns to the prosecution.

"Would the prosecution care to cross examine?"

"I'll pass. No thanks." Isabel continues to flip through the book. Anakin leans forward and wags his finger at her.

"Counselor, I'm holding you in contempt."

"Whatever." She sits back in the leather chair moving it closer to the door when he is not looking.

"Call the next witness…someone had better call a witness."

Obi-Wan stands.

"The defense calls Ana-Lena Skywalker and Alex Skywalker to the stand."

Threepio opens the door. Ana-Lena and Alex walk in and greet their father.

"Hi, Daddy."

"Hello, sweet pea."

"Hi, Daddy."

"Hi, sport. Have a seat you two. Did either of you see your brother play for money?"

"No."

"No."

"Do you know the penalty for lying?"

"But we're not lying. We were in bed."

"Oh."

Obi-Wan stands.

"I ask for the charges to be dropped…on the grounds that there is insufficient evidence to try my client."

Mace ad Qui-Gon support the request.

'_Here, here.'_

Anakin bangs his gavel.

"You're out of order."

Obi-Wan shouts back. Obi-Wan is usually so calm and sensible. He is totally immersed in this 'case.'

"You are out of order, your honor. This whole court case is out of order! Our client can't get a fair trail. I request that the case be dismissed."

Anakin continues to bang his gavel. People are getting up and filing out of the room.

"This court is not adjourned! Everyone get back here."

Isabel ignores him.

"Anakin, we have stuff to do."

"There are other charges! Get back here!"

"I'm the jury. Not guilty!" She grabs the gavel from him and bangs it against his desk.

Li-An passes by his parents. He shakes his father's hand.

"No hard feelings, Dad?"

"Just keep your nose clean."

"I always do." He walks up to his mother. "Thanks for not sending me up the lava bank, Mom."

"You're welcome, sweetie."

"I'm going to go out for pizza and celebrate with my defense team."

"Okay. Have a nice time."

He leaves the room.

Ouisanne files out the room but not before she approaches Anakin and pinches his cheek.

"Anakin, You make a most distinguished and handsome judge, dear."

"Thanks, Mom." He blushes.

When everyone files out of the study, Isabel returns and closes the door.

"Must I remind you that we have guests coming tomorrow and you pull this stunt?"

"Oh…the parasite parents of the nerfherder?"

"Now, Anakin, don't jump to conclusions. We haven't met them yet."

He mocks her.

'_Now, Anakin don't jump to conclusions, honey. We haven't met them yet.'_

She gives him a dirty look.

"I want you on your best behavior."

"I'm all wound up now…You have a few minutes?"

"Take a cold shower. You need to help me plan this dinner."

"You have a heartless woman…so; you're saying no holiday sex?"

"Don't be silly. There's no such thing."

She leaves the study.

What Isabel meant by helping her plan the arrival of Mr. and Mrs. Solo, she wanted him to be there and _'be-have'_.

'_Isn't that just like a Sith? Brings a lightsaber to a blaster fight'_

It is meeting day. Anakin is taking a shower. When he steps out, someone hands him a towel. He lumbers over to the mirror, leans over the counter at the sink, and wipes the steam away.

"I can't do this."

"The longer you put it off the harder it will get."

"Am I being stubborn?"

"You're afraid but you shouldn't be. They're just people. I think you're going to have more in common than you think. That's what I've learned."

Anakin shaves and brushes his teeth during the chat. He needs a pep talk after sulking all day. He didn't want to get out of bed this morning. Isabel sends him to the office to keep his mind off the big event.

He finally makes his way to the walk-in closet.

"Which tie should I wear?" He holds up a pink tie and a blue one.

"I thought you were supposed to wear what she left for you."

"I can pick out my own clothes."

"She left you a bowtie."

"I know, I know…are you going to ride my ass too?"

"No. I bet _'he's'_ going to wear one."

"Hmmm…How do you know?"

"I can feel it. Have I ever I steered you wrong?"

Anakin holds out his arms. His helper inserts the Jedi Emblem cufflinks for him. The cufflinks were a gift from Luke. Anakin turns around. He looks in the dressing room mirror. His new haircut doesn't look so bad. He asks for a second opinion.

"So, how do I look after your mom almost cut me bald?"

"You look great, Dad."

"Thanks, Alex." He leans over and kisses his son then smoothes a lock of hair from Alex's forehead. "You're a good looking kid. You look like some handsome dude I know."

Alex giggles.

"I know. It's you!"

"You could use a haircut too."

"Nice try, Dad."

"Well, here goes nothing."

Anakin emerges looking debonair. His wife is already downstairs. She is wearing a black silk dress with a chiffon neckline. Her shoes are black and gold silk embossed heels. She takes her purse from the end table and is about to grab her velvet swing coat when Anakin comes down the stairs.

"Well, well, well, you sure clean up well."

"So do you. Now that we've proved we can dress up, can I go upstairs and take off this monkey suit?"

"No."

Leia comes downstairs. She is wearing a wine colored silk cocktail dress with beaded trim at the bust and notched neckline. She wears a matching silk cloak and pumps.

"Oh my god, I almost didn't recognize you."

"It's cold outside, cover up your chest so 'parents of nerfherder' don't think you're a floozy."

"Ok, now I recognize you. Nice haircut, Pazuzu."

"Are you ladies ready to humiliate me this evening?"

"Yep!"

"Can somebody say something nice to me tonight?"

"You look handsome, Daddy."

"Thanks. You know, Isabel, your mother really knows how to get the kids to bed on time. They were already in their pajamas when I came downstairs."

"That was the plan. Let's go."

The ride to the restaurant goes smoothly. They soon arrive at the exclusive Romeo Treblanc Restaurant located near the opera house.

The Skywalker family arrives. The encounter with the Solo family comes quicker than Anakin expected. Han is speaking to the maître d'. Something prompts him to turn around.

Mr. Solo, a tall man in his late fifties to early sixties, faces Anakin. He looks elegant in his black tuxedo and bowtie. The two men are face to face. Leia is waiting to witness sheer disaster.

Mr. Solo speaks.

"Anakin, Skywalker I presume."

"That would be correct." Anakin discreetly tries to feel for his lightsaber as the older man confronts him.

"So, you're the one who put my son through so much grief. He told me everything. The name is Solo, James Solo. You know what I'm about to do?"

"Whatever it is, I wouldn't advise it."

"Oh, but I insist."

Suddenly the man grabs hold of Anakin and holds him giving him a hearty pat on the back. He has Anakin in a bear hug so tight; it nearly squeezes the breath out of him. Han's eyes widen in shock. Anakin looks over the man's shoulder and looks at Leia who is now by Han's side. Her mouth drops open. Anakin holds out his arms and reciprocates as the man laughs. Leia whispers aside to Han.

"He's going to kill my father."

Mr. Solo places one hand on Anakin's shoulder, steps away, and shakes his hand.

"Anakin, I am so glad someone was around to show my son some tough love! You deserved that hug. His mother and I didn't know what to do about him. Isn't that right, Junior?"

Han turns ten shades of red then mumbles to himself.

"I don't 'effing' believe what's happening." He manages a forced smile as he looks over at his father. He salutes in his typical cocky fashion and mutters through clenched teeth. _'Thanks for standing up for me, Dad.'_ He lets out a sigh. "I have a bad feeling about this."

_To be continued… Sith Shaken and Stirred'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter of this family saga. In the meantime, I hope you are enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**


	128. Chapter 128 Sith, Shaken and Stirred

_Chapter 128_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Rules of Engagement'_

'_Sith, Shaken and Stirred'_

'_Smoking in the Boys Room'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

The maître d' waits as the two families are formally introduced. Anakin gradually gets over being stunned. Han is equally stunned. What happened to defending your only son against an evil sith lord? He told his father everything…almost. Still, at this very important meeting, Professor James Solo Sr. disappoints his son. Han has the mind to disown his parents all over again.

Professor Solo Sr. steps forward. There is a woman standing directly beside Han. She is regal looking and petite. It is obvious Han gets his height from his father but he inherits his looks from his mother. He clears his throat. All enthusiasm is lost when he finally speaks.

"Ummm…Mother, Dad, these are Leia's parents, Mr. Anakin Skywalker and Mrs. Isabel Skywalker…uhmmm…Everyone…my parents, Professors James Solo and Sabrina Rae Fairchild Solo…"

Han hates introducing people. All the formalities he had learned as a child are lost. His father blames this on his life in Kashyyyk. His mother believes he is just shy.

Han's father bows and kisses Isabel on the hand. Isabel blushes. The man is sophisticated and handsome.

"Madame, you are more ravishing than my son described."

"Why thank you, Professor."

Anakin stares at her then greets Han's mother. He bows politely.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Mrs. Solo or shall I address you as professor?"

"Mr. Skywalker, of course not; please, call me Sabrina; I insist."

"Then you must address me as Anakin."

"Anakin it is."

Han's father sees Leia and immediately steps forward to greet her with a kiss on each cheek.

"And this beautiful child, I remember you, Leia. Han, again, I have to say, your taste in women has improved tremendously."

"Gee…thanks, Dad"

Leia smiles brightly.

"It's so good you could make it. Han was very excited about your visit."

The maitre d' finds that this is the perfect opportunity to seat them. The two families are seated. A waiter immediately arrives at the table to take orders for cocktails followed by a sommelier.

"Good evening Mesdames and Monsieur's, my name is Vasili and I am your waiter for the evening. Would you like to see the wine list?"

Professor Solo immediately takes charge.

"Yes. Coronet Brut Blue Label, one magnum please, Vasili."

"Excellent choice, sir. I'll have that for you and your guests straight away."

"So, this is splendid. We finally meet. Junior, you didn't do Mr. Skywalker justice. I am quite impressed."

Anakin looks across the table at Han.

"Han is a man of few words."

A steward arrives to set up an ice bucket stand. The sommelier returns with the rare and expensive bottle of Corellian champagne. Anakin knows a bit about fine wines over the years from Isabel and Obi-Wan. He has a respectable collection back at the house. The professor obviously knows much more than he does. The show-off.

Han's mother looks across the table at Leia.

"So, Leia, dear, tell us, dear, how did our son propose to you?"

"Well…"

Han looks at Leia.

"Leia, you don't have to do this."

"Oh, I don't mind."

The sommelier fills the champagne flutes. Professor Solo stands and raises his glass.

"I am delighted to meet Han's fiancée Leia and her family. Have you two kids set a date yet? No? No matter. You have plenty of time. I know my wife and I were excited about meeting our future in-laws. Coruscant is beautiful this time of year. It is lovely to see you all. I hope everybody's got a glass of champagne -Have you? Good! Because I would like you to join me in wishing every happiness to Leia and Han."

As everyone raises their glasses, Anakin looks across the table at his wife. Sabrina Solo is still wearing her gloves as she holds her champagne glass. A four-stand freshwater pearl bracelet hangs from her wrist. She sets down her glass and applauds.

"Bravo! Darling, that was absolutely lovely."

"Why, thank you, Madame Professor."

"Now, Leia please tell us all about the day our little Hansi proposed."

"Well…uhmm…" Leia turns to Han but tries not to laugh. "We have been seeing one another for quite some time…"

Anakin mutters to himself. "More time than I would have liked."

Anakin manages to smile when he hears this. Isabel hears him and elbows her husband in his side. Han knows this is going to be an evening of humiliation and torment. Leia reaches for his hand as if to demonstrate her empathy and support until she tells the story.

Several weeks before Befana Eve, and before the _'dark times'_ (when Anakin had one of his infamous meltdowns) Han and Leia go shopping for gifts. They run into her old schoolmate Nelson.

Nelson is heading in their general direction.

"Leia?"

"Nelson? Hi! So good to see you! Shopping?" They hug.

"Yeah…trying to pick out a gift for my mom."

"Oh, wow! That's great. How is she?"

"She's good. She just came back from Yavin4 with a bunch of her friends. They called it 'Housewives in the Tropics Vacation.' How are your parents?"

"Good. Thanks. Nelson, you remember Han, right?"

They finally stop talking log enough to acknowledge Han's presence. Han is holding a boutique shopping bag. One indication of his decent into the hell he always feared, that of a Rodia Drive Mall shopping bag and purse handler. There are hundreds of them milling about at this very moment, trailing wives and girlfriends. Han thinks the pathetic saps should form a union.

"Oh yeah…hi."

Nelson holds up his hand to acknowledge Han. His affable smile is genuine. It is just the opposite for Han whose greeting is his traditional cocky half salute and flat tone.

"Hey, pal, what's up?"

"Not much. Oh, I'm doing my residency at Coruscant University."

"So, you're working with stiffs?"

"Not anymore. That was the med school part. I'm in the trauma ward."

"That must be a thrill each day. The girls must go wild."

Leia interjects.

"Well, I think it's commendable. It takes someone with a strong constitution and dedication to go into that field of medicine. If we were dating, I would want to hear about your work. Congratulations."

"Thanks! That means a lot to me. Well…you two look as if you're just getting your shopping done. I won't keep you."

"It's really good to see you, Nelson."

"You too…Leia. Happy Befana Eve."

"Happy Befana Eve. Don't be a stranger. My father likes you. You're always welcome at the house."

"Cool. Thanks. Bye, Han."

"Ciao."

Nelson leaves them. Han looks at Leia. She has a glow of happiness about her. They walk in silence for several minutes before Han decides to speak. They are standing in front of one of the stores in the exclusive shopping complex.

"What's with the wistful expression on your face? It's not as if I haven't noticed it before. You get like that every time you see him."

"Han, we're friends. We grew up together. Don't tell me, you're jealous." She has a sly smirk on her face. Han stubbornly stands his ground.

"No…never…but it would be nice if you didn't give him goo-goo eyes every time we run into him."

"I can still look, Han. It's not as if we're married."

He snaps his fingers then wags his index finger at her.

"Aha! So now, we're getting somewhere. I should have known you would bring that up."

"Oh, Han don't be ridiculous. That isn't the issue at all. I'm fine with things just the way they are."

"Ohh, sister, you're a real piece of work, you know that? You women are all alike…you weave your spider droid web of manipulation then you catch the poor sap in your trap. I've got you all figured out, princess."

Han points to his temple. Leia rolls her eyes.

"Fine, think like a pirate. Don't work your brain too hard, you might hurt yourself. Anyway, I know you probably don't believe in marriage."

"Yes, I do. That's why I never got married. Your friend Nelson, however, believes in the tooth fairy. He's still in second grade feeling love sick."

"That's why I like him. He still believes in stuff like that. And he's not lovesick. I think it's sweet that he wants to reconnect since our school days. So, why don't you marry me?"

"You want an answer? Okay. I'll tell you why. I'm not doing anything anyone tells me to do. I'm not getting sucked into standing at the altar before some Jedi hocus pocus priest waiting for us to say vows that no one keeps anymore. It's hokey religious rituals that turn me off. I've never seen anything to make me believe there's one all-powerful force controlling everything. There's no mystical energy field that controls my destiny."

"Are you quite through? Because I refuse to argue with you here in the mall."

"Yeah, I'm quite through…"

Instead, he faces the shop window. Leia is still chattering at him, her arms folded. She won't stop talking:_ 'Squawk, squawk, squawk!'_ He turns to see if she is still behind him. She is. He wonders what he has gotten himself into with this 'relationship.' He can see inside the shop at what he is becoming. Two of his _'kind' are_ standing inside the shop, obviously victims of some hypnotic spell. Sure, they look happy now, but they are clueless.

Han looks down at the high-end shopping bag he has been toting along all morning. The woven golden silk handle is tinted with real gold. The glossy white paper bag could possibly pay for someone's lunch. He does recall, however, that he has seen Leia drop off a bundle of used bags to charity organizations that redeem them for credits to help displaced families across the galaxy. He stares through the shop window at the two 'hypnotized slobs.'

"So, let's stop dawdling, Han, I've got presents to buy today."

"Uhmmm…" He looks confused.

"Han? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

She grabs his arm.

"Ok, let's get a move on; you don't want to get fined for loitering, do you?"

"I don't loiter…" As she starts to lead him away, Han pulls her back. Leia looks in his eyes.

"What?"

"You…you want…will you marry me?"

"Han? Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm okay…I believe I can carry your shopping bags for the rest of my pathetic life."

"You're not pathetic. Scruffy? Yes. Pathetic? Never."

Anakin's daughter and her pirate step inside the 'Theed Royal Jewelers'. They are the third couple of the day to select palladium wedding bands.

Back to present day –

Leia is mindful not to tell the two sets of parents the 'whole' story. The 'abridged' version included some major editing.

"It was all very romantic and quite unexpected. He proposed right then and there. It was very romantic."

Professor Solo Sr. looks across the table at his son.

"Well, Junior, you finally pulled off a great feat."

"That's me."

Han's mother reaches over and strokes his hair.

"Hansi, Dear, I never knew you had it in you, and the sweetest moment was when you got down on bended knee to propose. I wish I had been there."

Han shrugs then turns away so she does not hear his next muffled words.

"So do I."

"What was that, dear?"

"Uhmmm, I don't know what came over me that day." He looks at Leia. She smiles sweetly after telling her version.

Anakin ends his silence. He is used to being the center of attention at these functions, now 'show-off father-of-the-groom' is taking over. He sips his champagne then sets the glass back on the table.

"So, how did you get the name 'Junior'?"

Solo Sr. responds.

"That's his name." points to himself "James Johann Solo." He points to Han. "James Johann…Junior."

Han glares across the table at his father.

"I like 'Han.'"

"You expect to be taken seriously? Trivializing a perfectly good name."

Han's mother glances at her menu. "Let's order dinner, shall we? I'm famished."

"I agree, Mother."

During dinner, Anakin is as happy as a Naboo clam. Poor Han has to sit through dinner with parents who are unaware that they are embarrassing their son.

James Solo cuts into his shaak steak.

"So, Junior, I guess your days shuttling from one end of the galaxy to the other will soon be over. You settle into a nice stable job at the university. That's where you should be."

"Dad!"

"Don't _'Dad'_ me! The boy's got a doctorate in Archaeology; and what does he do with his life? He goes on ridiculous excursions across the galaxy. Han, it's time to grow up and take some responsibility for your life."

Sabrina Solo sips her wine after the waiter fills the glass.

"Here it comes, the fatherly talk." She smiles at her husband. "You forget I'm already a widow." She smiles across the table at Isabel and Anakin. "It's a joke we share…we are so busy that we rarely see one another. We seem to only get together to discuss Hansi's future."

"Mother, you forget I'm an adult now. I don't need you to discuss my 'future.'"

"Oh, yes you do, Darling, you just don't realize it yet. Just because you're getting married does not excuse us from our parental responsibilities."

"Trust me, I'm excusing you."

"Don't be a silly goose, Darling. We'll never abandon you."

Isabel glances at Anakin who looks as if he is watching an exciting tennis match at the Coruscant Sports Arena. The smile grows wider by the minute. The dialogue between Han and his parents is 'action packed'. Isabel nudges her husband then whispers to him.

"Be good."

During a break when the women pay a visit to the powder room, the men sit and wait for them. As soon as the women return, James Solo makes an announcement.

"Ladies, we're going to visit the bar. It will give you some time to gossip about us for awhile."

The women sit and chat as the three men disappear to Valhalla, the gentlemen's bar and humidor in the next room. The room has a bar and twelve tables. There are two patrons at the bar and five of the tables are occupied with patrons from the dining room. Not one woman among them

The bartender takes their order.

"Good, evening, gentlemen, what can I get for you?"

Anakin decides this is a night to celebrate afterall.

"It's on me, gentlemen. Order your poison."

Professor Solo goes first.

"A martini, shaken, not stirred."

Han looks at the waiter.

"Poison sounds good about now. You have any cyanide behind the bar?"

"I beg your pardon, Sir?"

"Uh…it's a new drink made with vodka, Kamino crème and ion soda." Han tries to downplay his glib remark.

"I believe you're describing an Elshandruu Pica Thundercloud, Sir."

"Oh…yeah, I knew that…thanks." Han prefers the poison. This is going to be a long evening. He wanted to die now.

"And for you, Mr. Skywalker?"

"I'll have a Corellian Whisky…don't shake it and I won't be needing a spoon."

"Excuse me, Sir?"

"You know what? Bring a bottle of that whisky to the table the 400 year old stuff."

"Excellent selection, sir."

The bar waiter takes the order then returns with their drinks but not before Professor Solo orders cigars for all of them. The men raise their glasses.

"Here's to Han on his engagement and to the impending union of the Solo and Skywalker families."

"Here's to Han, and Leia. May he make her happy or I'll kill him."

Han looks at Anakin.

"Cut me a break today, will you? I promise to make your daughter happy."

They down their drinks. Anakin puffs on his cigar then makes a sour face. James watches Anakin's face wrinkle up. He laughs out loud.

"I can tell you're not a cigar man."

"I'm not a smoker…not anymore. Yuck!" He sticks out his tongue to demonstrate his dislike for the cigar. He crunches on an ice cube in a glass from the empty table next to theirs. The waiter is heading over to clear it. Han isn't really into smoking either. It is not the taste that bothers him. Professor Solo takes a puff from his cigar then speaks.

"You used to smoke?"

"Just for half a day….about 25 years ago. It wasn't pretty. Hell, I wasn't a pretty sight back then. It's not good for your health. Trust me." He stares at Han's glass. "Han, what the _'eff'_ are you drinking? Looks like witches brew. There's a cloud hovering over your drink."

"I know."

"Don't drink that 'sith' have some of this…Barkeep…two more glasses please. Thanks."

The bartender sets out glasses for Han and his father. He fills the glasses with the bottle of whisky Anakin ordered. James Solo calmly smokes his cigar.

"Han tells me you've restructured the Imperial Army and merged them with the New Republic Army. That was a brilliant move, Skywalker."

"Thank you…thank you very much. So, 'Hansi,' what's this about you being in the Imperial army years ago? I should check the archives."

"I left."

His father interjects.

"He was dishonorably discharged, and I bet you'll never guess what for." He glances at his son with a disappointed look on his face. I served in the Imperial Army Academy, as did my father before me and his father. Not once did we disgrace the family name."

"Geez, Solo, what the 'eff' did you do?"

"Aww, geez, Dad. Here we go. Did you have you bring that up?"

"Yes, I do. He defied orders and freed a Wookie. Ruined his military record he did. What did he do for you?"

"Chewy is a good friend, Dad."

"Right…a good friend who joined you on shuttle runs transporting illegal goods to that gangster Jabba the Hutt."

"I'm out of that business, Dad. I have been for a few years now."

Anakin is still happy and getting drunk.

"Good for you, Han." He gives Han a hearty pat on the back. "Hey, let's all be friends…don't fight. Let's have another toast."

James Solo offers the first new toast.

"I like this guy. Now he knows how to have a good time. Here's to a great evening with good people." They tap their glasses. Anakin goes next.

"Oh, I have one. Here's to Han, and Leia…and Leia…and to the Hansi's and Leiettes."

Professor Solo is greatly amused by Anakin's ramblings. Han looks at Anakin. He stands and tries to take his drink. Leia will never forgive Han if he does not intervene.

"Mr. Skywalker, why don't I take that? You're drunk."

"I am happy. Don't take my drink, _'Hansi.'_ You don't want a beat down tonight. I'm packing heat. Got my lightsaber right here." He pats his hip but cannot seem to locate his lightsaber. He looks under the table. "Well, It's here somewhere. Han, go drink that blue vapor crap you ordered. Look at that, You get a tiny bolt of lightning too. That drink looks lethal."

Han turns to his father who is nice and 'mellow' right now.

"You too, Dad."

"Junior, relax. We're just sitting here having some cigars and a quiet drink."

"I was just remembering the last time we had a quiet drink together. I had a milkshake. This isn't one of those times."

Anakin looks at Han and points to the empty chair.

"Sit, Han Solo, sit…good dog." Anakin is giddy. He drums on the table then begins to sing. Professor Solo joins in.

'_Farewell and adieu to you, fair Bespin ladies. Farewell and adieu, you ladies of B'spin. For we've received orders for to sail back to Kamino. And nevermore shall we see you again.'_

Han watches the two men. They are sitting at the table like old friends, arms on each other's shoulders. This is a dangerous combination, Alcohol, a Sith future father-in-law and a hard-to-please father.

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

Meanwhile, the women are still at the table in the main dining room of the restaurant. Isabel asks the maitre d' about the three men and the bottle of whisky. She gets her answer before he responds.

"Ladies, we have a problem. What should we do?"

Sabrina Solo rests her feet on the empty chair beside her. Isabel does the same with the empty chair near her. Their beautiful shoes lay under the table. Leia sits back in her chair and looks across the table at Isabel.

"They're drunk aren't they?"

"Ohh, Yes."

Sabrina Solo thinks for a moment.

"Shall we rescue our men or let them stay until they sober up."

Isabel answers immediately.

"Rescue. I don't want to deal with this all night. Ladies, let's go."

Isabel calls the maitre d' to settle the bill.

"Madame, it has been taken care of splendidly. Shall I send the vehicles around for your party?"

"Yes, please. Thank you."

When Isabel, Sabrina, and Leia walk over to the Valhalla Room of the restaurant, they find the three men in a group hug.

"Anakin, you're a good man. When we are sober again, we must go out for drinks."

"That would be perfect. Tomorrow?"

"By all means."

Anakin turns to Han then giggles uncontrollably. He finally grabs Han and gives him a tight bear hug.

"I love you, man." Anakin is crying.

"You crazy bastard. You're the man."

"No, you're the man." Anakin smiles and points to Han.

"Mr. Skywalker, I had a great time tonight. You're really a cool guy."

"I'm not going to remember any of this in the morning so cherish the good times we had."

"Uhmm…okay."

Leia chats with Han for a moment while the inebriated fathers are prepared by their wives to leave.

"So? You guys have a nice bonding moment?"

"Oh, sure! Insanity runs strong in our families."

"My dad really likes you, Han."

"Well, he was sure feeling the love tonight."

They kiss goodnight.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"You didn't get drunk tonight."

"I know. I'm surprised. That drink wasn't as potent as I thought it would be."

There is a thump on the floor.

"Han?"

The bar waiter and a porter help him up. The waiter speaks.

"Elshandruu Pica Thundercloud. Happens every time. You never feel the effects for a good hour or two after drinking it. Poor, bloke."

Anakin receives a hug from Mrs. Solo.

"Anakin, It was a pleasure to meet you. You have been so good to our son."

"Why thank you, Professor Mrs. Solo Sabrina Fairweather Solo Ray…"

Leia grabs her father by the arm.

"Come on, Daddy. You're a mess. Stop before you hurt yourself."

Han's father is doing surprisingly well after two martinis, and half a bottle of whisky. He walks up to Isabel.

"Isabel, you are a fascinating woman. Anakin is lucky to have you."

"Why thank you, Professor."

"How about a hug!"

"Sure."

Anakin notices something in his inebriated state. Professor James Solo has his hands on Isabel's bum. It is as if the Professor is giving her a body massage or kneading dough. Isabel pulls away. She adjusts her dress then reaches for Anakin's arm.

"Oh, dear! Got to go…Goodnight."

The drive home for both families is an adventure unto itself. Luckily, Han's father hires a limousine so they arrive at the hotel shortly after. Han is in no condition to return to his condo. He spends the night at his parent's hotel suite.

Anakin is in the backseat of his new customized luxury speeder. Isabel and Leia smile as they look in the rearview mirror. Anakin is passed out. Isabel turns up the expressway. The change in position wakes him up He doesn't know if he should be horrified that his wife if driving his speeder or that she was just groped in the restaurant by Han's father, or if he will barf in his new vehicle. Either way, he's in for a bad night.

"'Bel, you're speeding."

"I am not, shut up. Keep your head out the window, _'Barfy-smurf.'_" Leia laughs as Isabel cruises along. The lightsaber is in the inside pocket of her velvet coat.

Tomorrow will be a day long remembered…for tonight it's going to be a bumpy ride.

…And away, we go!

_To be continued… 'There's Banging in Them There Hills'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter of this family saga. In the meantime, I hope you are enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**


	129. Chapter 129 There's Banging in Them Hill

_Chapter 129_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_There's Banging in Them There Hills'_

'_Who's the Best Daddy?'_

'_Double-0 Beat-Down'_

'_The Untouchables'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

The morning after the 'parent-in-law dinner' is filled with moaning. Sabrina Solo orders room service. 'Hangover relief' is served.

Meanwhile, back at the Skywalker residence, Anakin can hear voices. Strange chatter. He must tell Yoda about this. It could be Jawas. Why is he being tormented so? They seem to be surrounding him. Perhaps if he lies perfectly still, the Jawas will go away. This could be one of his recurring dreams…no…not like this…it's never included Jawas. This dream seems so real.

The voices continue.

"Is he dead?"

"No, not yet."

"Put one of these in his mouth while it's still open. Hurry, he's drooling. It could be toxic. Shove it all the way in the back of the creature's throat. Use the dangerous creature probe to complete the insertion of the tranquilizer capsule."

"What if he gets up suddenly? He could endanger all of us."

"Leave that to me."

"What are you going to do?"

"I must stabilize him, but we must act quickly lest we awaken the beast."

The 'medium-sized' Jawa begins to lose faith in the leader.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"Of course. I've had plenty of practice. I've been waiting for this moment to try these restraints on a real specimen."

"Okay, General. I put you in control. Just remember, the ability to restrain the creature is insignificant next to the power of the Force."

"Thank you Excellency. I take full responsibility."

The 'smaller' Jawa touches the creature's face.

"His face is fuzzy."

"His winter fur is growing. He's in the process of deep hibernation."

"How do you know?"

"His pupils are fixed and dilated."

"Let's see."

The leader of the brave Jawas creeps up behind the creature's head and reaches over to open its eyelids. The two smaller Jawas watch in amazement as the blue eyes are fixed upon them. The lead Jawa 'proves' his assessment.

"See? I told ya."

The 'medium-sized' Jawa has an idea.

"I think we should operate."

"I concur. Great idea, Excellency. Nurse, check the creature's heart."

The 'Jawa field nurse' checks for vitals.

"I can't hear anything."

The 'medium-sized' Jawa studies the creature.

"Maybe he has a weak heart."

The Jawa leader speaks.

"I don't think he has a heart."

The 'Jawa field nurse is not ready to give up.

"Maybe it's really small…like the Grinch."

The Jawa leader stares at the nurse. He has no tolerance for incompetence. The Jawas will soon turn on one another.

"Nurse, do you know how to use a stethoscope? Give it to me! You're wasting time! I'll do it."

"No! It's my '_stefascope' _Stop! Give it back! I'm telling. Mom!"

The gatekeeper walks into the room.

"What's going on in here?"

The creature awakens and bolts upright in the bed frightening the little Jawas.

"Aahhh! He's alive!"

Li-An leaps from the bed. Alex and Ana-Lena scramble for the door. Anakin blinks and then yawns. He suddenly begins choking. Isabel hurries over to help. She sets something on the night table so her hands are free. The children wince as they watch their father cough violently. His face turns red then blue. Isabel slaps his chest and he coughs up the obstruction. Ana-Lena and Alex begin to cry. Li-An is too shocked for any reaction. Isabel turns to them.

"Why are you three in here?"

"We wanted to see, Daddy. We didn't mean to kill him."

"Calm down everybody. He's fine. Who gave him this?" She opens her hand. A wet Ewok gummy children's vitamin is in her palm. The creatures' venomous drool is covering their dear mother's beautiful hand. Alex is waiting for something horrible to happen to her. Ana-Lena steps forward.

"I did, mummy. I'm sorry." She is upset and full of remorse.

Li-An and Alex step forward.

"We're sorry, Mom. We were just having some fun."

"It's okay. Don't cry. No one is in trouble."

Alex grimaces at the half-dissolved Ewok vitamin floating in her saliva-soaked palm.

"Aren't you going to wash your hands?"

"Eventually. Thank you, 'Mr. Health Inspector' Alex. It will take more than a vitamin to put you father out of commission. Alright. Now he needs something to make him feel better..."

"Really?"

"What does he need?"

"He needs this 'energy' drink. He'll be like new." She walks back to her husbands' bedside then hands him two tablets and a tall glass containing some pink and orange concoction. Li-An walks over to his fathers' bedside. Alex and Ana-Lena follow. Li-An remembers to untie his father's foot from the mattress handle before tragedy strikes. He is quick and discreet so his mother does not see him. He's in deep enough trouble as it is because of his mischief during the holidays. He hurries back to his father's bedside. Anakin stares at the children as he tips his head back to drink.

"What's with the audience?"

"They're here to keep you company. They missed you."

"You Jawas want to sit on the bed with me?"

Ana-Lena smiles.

"I do, Daddy."

"Come on." He sets the glass down on the nightstand then helps her up.

Alex and Li-An find their own way onto the bed.

"Why do you call us Jawas, Dad?"

"So, anyone want to hear about my terrible dream?"

"Okay."

"I had a dream I was being watched by three Jawas. They poked at me and tried to conduct strange experiments on me."

Li-An looks at his father.

"Would you remember what they looked like, Dad?...in case you want me to make a citizen's arrest."

"No…I think they know not to mess with me again."

Alex looks at the glass. The remains of the frothy liquid flow back to the bottom of the glass.

"What's that stuff in the glass, Dad?"

"Headache juice."

Ana-Lena feels his forehead.

"You have a headache, Daddy?"

"Yes."

"Aww, Daddy…" She hugs him. "I'll make you feel better." She slides off the bed and returns with her nurse's kit. Isabel hangs up his dinner jacket that is draped over a chair. She tries to get the children out of the room.

"Anakin, don't you want to rest? Children, let's go."

"No, they can stay."

"Okay. Have fun." She leaves him with his Jawa entourage.

No sooner than she leaves the room, the children are jumping on the bed and bickering with one another. Isabel returns an hour later to find Anakin sleeping with his head under the pillow. The children have since settled down and are now sprawled on the bed playing quietly or sleeping.

Ana-Lena has used the gauze from her nurse's kit to wrap around her father's head. His face is covered with Ewok plastic bandages.

Li-An has found some strange but fascinating reading material in the nightstand drawer. He rests his head against the big square pillow and reads the brochure.

Isabel walks into the master bedroom to check on the 'masters of mischief'. She sees the brochure and holds out her hand. "Had it over." She takes it away from him.

"Hey! I was reading that."

"Not anymore you're not. Stop reading stuff that isn't addressed to you. You've got books in your room. Go play or take a nap."

Isabel tosses the brochure entitled _'Vasectomy…Is it for YOU?'_ back in the top drawer of the nightstand.

Isabel escorts the children from the room and puts them down for a nap. The baby is awake now. Isabel sits on the bench in the master bathroom with the baby on her lap. Anakin peels off the bandages. Isabel watches.

"That'll teach you for falling asleep with three kids in the room."

"I honestly thought they would grow bored and leave on their own."

"They missed you."

"I could tell. Is your mom still here?"

"No. She left while you were napping. Why?"

"Nothing…Is Leia around?"

"No, she and Han left for Naboo. They took a commercial flight because he is still getting over last night."

"She couldn't wait a day? Hansi's parents are still in town. No wonder he claimed to be raised by Wookies. His mother talks to him as if he's five. Woohoo!…that was funny. So Leia can't call and tell her grandparents?"

"She wanted to tell them in person."

"Hmmm…I guess that should go well." He looks at his wife from the large mirror over the sink. "'Bel, did you drive my speeder last night?"

"Yes, I did. What's with the interrogation?"

"I was just wondering…There had better not be a scratch on it."

"Oh, relax. Your precious vehicle is fine. You sure couldn't operate it. I guess I should forget about asking for a 'thank you.'"

Anakin watches her as he looks in the mirror. He strips off the last bandage from his left cheek then rinses his face.

"You've been eyeing that car for some time now. I knew you couldn't wait to get your hands on it. I'm going to take a shower. That's the first and last time you'll ever drive it."

"You're welcome. I should have left you in the bar. Ingrate."

"Much of last night was a complete blank after I went over to the bar." He grabs a towel from the shelf and turns to her. She looks up at him.

"What else do you remember besides Han's nickname?"

"Not much. Why? Anything else happen?" He reaches over and tickles the baby's belly.

She can't believe he blocked out the moment she got groped by Han's lascivious father. No matter. She wasn't going to get a 'thank you' out of Anakin for driving his sorry ass home. He doesn't deserve to know. _'Mr. Amnesia.'_ She smiles sweetly at her husband as she hides her anger at him.

"Uhmm…no…no. Enjoy your shower."

Isabel takes the baby and leaves the bathroom. Anakin laughs as he steps under the shower spray. He's going to call the hotel. He and the professor have some catching up to do.

'_The Gallo Valley Times Newspaper: All the News Dispensed One Tidbit at a Time'_

_(When We Think You Need to Know It)_

It is early afternoon – Naboo Time.

Leia and Han are landing on Naboo. Some time before the holiday, Leia calls to tell her grandmother Jobal of the engagement but hesitates telling her grandfather. Jobal tells Leia she will tell him the news herself. Ruwee's reaction is predictable when Jobal finally tells him. She waits until the day of Han and Leia's arrival to 'spring' it on him. It is a beautiful day on Naboo. He looks up from his newspaper.

"She's engaged to the 'Wookie' man? She's too young and she just started a career…and no, I'm not blaming her father. Leia is willful and, at times, reckless. Besides, he's too old for her. Where did we go wrong, Jobal? What about that nice young man who lives across the street…two doors away from the Mitchell's'? He's quiet and polite. He's not a smartass like Mr. Solo."

"Ru, I believe we went over this before…several times. Anyway, I think he's being questioned by the Naboo police about the disappearance of his mother."

"Really? I've seen him tending the garden everyday and picking up her dry cleaning. It's amazing that he does all the landscaping himself. That's a lot of land to cover. He seems to be doing a great job. That boy has talent."

"I don't think we should interfere, dear. She truly loves him. Leia is a good judge of character."

"Who are you talking about?"

"Our granddaughter, of course! Ruwee, pay attention. Will you please stop reading that paper for one minute?"

"You're right. Then let's not agitate her. That's it, we'll use reverse psychology. We'll embrace them. We will welcome him. Hmmm…yes! She hates it when we agree with her. Leia will have second thoughts then send him jilted and packing back to Corellia or Wookieland or wherever he comes from."

"Just promise you'll be nice while they're here, Ru."

"Fine. I can do nice." He retrieves his newspaper from the table in the garden and mumbles to himself. "What a bloody nightmare."

Ruwee retreats to the family room to read his paper. So much has happened in the past several years. He is now a great grandfather to Radka (Radi) Padmé and Gunter Kurt, Ryoo and her husband Kurt Nerran's 2 children. Pooja has one daughter, named Dory.

A divorced single parent, Pooja is a Yoga instructor at a studio near the Parnelli Museum of Art. Kurt's older brother Jev, who dated both sisters over the years, went on to join the royal guard at the court of Theed. After serving the monarchy for seven years, he leaves to become a sports anchor for Sunday Night Pod Racing. Ruwee had hoped Jev and Pooja would marry but he forgets that young love can be fickle.

Ruwee adores his granddaughters but he is disappointed by Pooja's career choices. Her childhood aspirations of becoming a starfighter pilot or a tusk-cat-trainer generated great amusement from the adults. Ruwee felt this was just childhood fantasy taking over. He truly believed she would choose a career in politics like her mother and or become a teacher as he used to be or even an architect. He wanted to leave the business to his grandchildren. Well, she did become a teacher…of sorts. Ruwee, however, does not consider yoga instructor as a job befitting a Naberrie. She could have been anything, even a doctor. Instead, she meets a philosophy student at Naboo University who spoke to her about his views on the future of the galaxy.

She is immediately mesmerized by what he has to say. After attending several rallies and poetry readings, she decides to make a change in her career path. She spends an extra year at the university after changing her major from Intergalactic Political Science to Expanded Universe Theory and Culture. She goes on to live a hippie existence with her new live-in boyfriend. Sola, prided herself for being an understanding and forward-thinking mother, wanted to kill her youngest daughter.

After discovering that they would soon become a family, Pooja could not wait to spring this news on her parents. Sola was not thrilled but she accepted her daughter's commitment to her beliefs. Pooja's father Darred wanted to send her off to Keren to focus on issues that matter. Sola argues with her husband that doing so would only drive her away. Their daughter was of legal age has every right to choose her path in life. Ruwee, not wanting another scandal, suggests they marry immediately.

Pooja and her husband-to-be marry in a Sallustan temple surrounded by thousand-year old Bonsai trees; believe to hold the spirits of ancient Sallustan high priests. The guests had to walk gingerly through the temple garden so as not to step on the tiny trees. This is not the wedding her grandfather, or her parents, had in mind.

The couple exchanged nuptials standing at an ancient outdoor altar, A Sallustan monk performed the 'Open Commitment' ceremony chanting in a language no one understood. This was not Sola and Kurt's idea of a traditional wedding. Her wedding dress was made of gardenia leaves and an orange silk gauze tunic. Her feet are bare. Her groom wears a similarly colored toga and sandals. The bride and groom each wear a crown of Felucia hibiscus flowers on their head. The reception dinner menu includes various seeds and grains over rice topped with edible flowers. The wedding cake is made of candied sesame between layers of honey-soaked baked fillo dough and Chantilly cream.

Leia and Luke attended the ceremony. Luckily, for Anakin, His daughter is committed to her traditional dream wedding with a white gown and all the trimmings. When the twins returned from Naboo the year Pooja had her 'flower-power' wedding, they showed Anakin the holographs. He almost felt sorry for poor Ruwee. To make matters worse, Pooja gives the entire wedding party a copy of the wedding on a holovid, 'to relive the moment' according to the couple. Ruwee begs his granddaughter not to distribute this. There was plenty of laughter in Ruwee's social circles.

Anakin watches it in his study with a bowl of blue popcorn. It was the laugh out loud, feel-good movie of the year. The scowls and stunned expressions on the faces of the family and guests were worth the ticket price. He would rewind the video and play it frame by frame to capture the many facial contortions Ruwee was making. Priceless.

The Pooja's 'ex' needed to get out of the marriage to 'find himself'. It is later discovered that he left his wife to 'find himself'…another woman.

Anakin had to think which son-in-law had the most success with his children? Darred Janren or the 'Dark Lord.' Anakin feels he is the winner, hands-down.

That afternoon the ship lands at Chommell Sector Intergalactic Spaceport.

Han and Leia grab a taxi to her grandparents' villa. Han thought visiting with the Naberrie's would be the lesser of the two tortures. One day with his parents was more than enough. He figures the most he'll get from Leia's grandparents is an occasional dirty look and a few awkward moments of silence.

Jobal is arranging some flowers in a vase in the drawing room. She sees the taxi arrive from the bay window.

"Ru! They're here."

Ruwee appears in the doorway of the drawing room, his newspaper at his side. Jobal smiles and walks over to him. He pouts.

"This can't be good."

"Now, now…let's look at this as a good thing. It's our granddaughter. This is important to her or she never would have come all this way."

"Alright." He releases a long sigh. Jobal gently takes the newspaper from him and places it in the magazine caddy near the stairway.

"And be nice."

"I'm always nice."

Jobal and Ruwee wait in the foyer as the servant answers the door. Jobal walks over to greet her granddaughter.

"Leia, dear!"

"Oma! Opa! It's so good to see you!"

"Look at you, you're all grown up!"

"Oma, it hasn't been that long!"

"Long enough. We only see you on your birthday or at family events."

Leia reaches for her grandfather. Ruwee kisses his granddaughter.

"Well, hello, stranger."

"Hi, Opa. Missed you."

"So you finally took a flight to come see us."

"Not you too! Will the both of you stop trying to make me feel guilty? So, Opa, Oma, you remember Han, right?"

Jobal smiles and gives Han a warm hug.

"Why, yes. I remember. Mr. Solo, so good to see you again."

"Thank you, Mrs. Naberrie. Mr. Naberrie, Sir."

Ruwee shakes Han's hand.

"Oh, I remember you now…you're the fidgety one afraid of dogs or something was it?"

"No, I love dogs…"

Leia makes a point of correcting her grandfather. This does not make Han feel better.

"It's snakes, Opa. And scurriers…"

"Oh, yes…You were almost climbing the walks that evening. You getting therapy for that I hope?"

"Ah…"

Leia interjects.

"Opa, that was years ago when he had that episode."

"Oh, yes…Now I recall."

Han looks at Leia and makes a face. He mutters aside to her.

"Episode? Please stop. You're not helping…."

She whispers back.

"Sorry…" She continues smiling as she turns away from him."

Han presents them with gifts.

"Oh, this is a little something for you. I hope you like it."

He hands them a rare bottle of Corellian wine and a hand blown crystal wine decanter.

"Oh, thank you. Perhaps we'll open this later if all goes well."

Jobal nudges her husband.

"Ru! Mr. Solo came all this way to present this gift to us out of respect."

"He knows how I like to joke. Don't you Han?" He slaps Han on the back.

"You're a fun-loving person, sir."

"Yes, that's me. Why don't you two come into the drawing room for a 'chat?'

Leia takes her grandmother by the arm as they head for the drawing room. Han follows Ruwee. They all sit quietly for a few moments. Ruwee sits in the upholstered Queen Yarm armchair. Jobal breaks the silence after a servant arrives with coffee and appetizers.

"So, your grandfather and I were thrilled by your engagement announcement. Have you set a date?"

Han stumbles over his words.

"Not yet…not altogether…"

Leia speaks up.

"We want to take the time to plan the type of wedding we want. We don't want to rush into it."

Ruwee leans forward in his chair with his hands folded.

"What do you call this?"

"We've thought about this long and hard, Opa. We know what we're getting into."

Jobal pleads to her husband, hinting for him to be mindful of what he says.

"Leia, I believe your grandfather is saying, as happy as we both are for you, we want to make sure you understand what a big step this is."

Han interrupts.

"Can I just say something? I know I've been quiet since walking through the door but I can't watch in silence while our commitment to one another is questioned. I love your granddaughter and I will do anything for her."

Leia smiles.

"Oh, Han, that is so romantic."

Ruwee gives his granddaughter a stern look.

"Leia, I see you going down the same foolish path your mother took."

"Don't do this, Opa. My mother would have told you if she could. I just know it. Don't make me regret coming here today. I came here out of respect. I want to include you. This is a happy time for me…for us. I hope you will see that."

Jobal agrees.

"Ruwee, please…we should be happy for them."

Jobal's look is uncompromising. She will not risk alienating Padmé's two children. Ruwee knows she means business. He changes the topic since his wife is monitoring what he says.

"Soo…nice weather we're having." He forces a wide smile to prove to his wife that he can be a 'team player.' Jobal sees through this insincere remark and ignores him. She turns her attention to the young couple.

"So, Han, Leia, where are you planning to have the wedding?"

"At the cathedral on Coruscant."

"Oh…well, you know, you're welcome to have your wedding here. We're offering it just as an option. Your grandfather and I would be happy to pay for it."

"That's very generous, thank you…we'll keep it in mind"

"Your aunt and cousins can't wait to see you."

"Well, I can't wait to see them. I did have lunch with Aunt Sola in the Senate dining room a few weeks ago."

"Oh, yes! She mentioned that. I'm really glad that you two are able to get together on occasion."

Jobal ends the meeting by telling Leia and Han to go settle in and rest for dinner. She is delighted that Leia has Sola as a constant in her life to remind her of Naboo.

Leia and her Aunt Sola have a close relationship. The fact that Sola spends much of her time on Coruscant when the senate is in session allows her these precious moments with her niece. Sola has little time for socializing unless it is an official government event. Leia confides in her. Sola is Leia's connection to life on Naboo and the rest of the Naberrie family. Sola tells Leia funny stories about Padmé when they were children before her ascent to the Throne of Naboo at Theed Palace.

Leia tells Sola about her engagement. It is on the condition that Sola does not tell her grandparents. Sola promises but warns Leia to tell Jobal and Ruwee soon. Sola loves her niece but she does not want this burden hanging over her for too long. Secrets like this destroyed her sister. She does not want Leia to fall into the same trap. Leia agrees.

There is a large family gathering that evening at the Naberrie home. Ryoo and her husband arrive with their two children. Aunt Sola and Uncle Darred are there. Pooja, typically late finally makes an appearance with her daughter. Pooja lets her young daughter play with her cousins.

"Hey, little Coz! Congrats! Where's the stud pirate?"

"Will you stop!" Leia blushes. "He's on the patio with Kurt."

"So, are you dating?"

"Maybe." She grabs a piece of fruit from the amber bowl on the kitchen counter. The honey-flavored juice of the pera runs down her chin. She catches it with a napkin. This is a fruit best eaten with utensils: a fork and knife to eat the fruit and a spoon to sip up the rich sweet juices. Pooja nudges Leia. "I'm not insane enough to bring a guy to this house. Opa would find something wrong with him.

"What about your dad? Is he cool?"

"He no longer comments. I'm the rebel in the family, remember?"

"No you're not."

"Oh, yes I am. I'm the godless hippie. So, how is my cute cousin Luke? Is he still dating the 'She-Devil'?"

"Yes. Mara is a piece of work. She has her sweet moments though."

"How's Uncle Anakin?"

"He's fine. He drank too much last night and Isabel had to drive us home. He's probably giving her a hard time today about driving it.'

"He should be grateful."

"It's his new sports car. It's a black speeder convertible with custom interior and satellite radio. He's having a mid-life crisis. He says he needs the car to remind him he's sill cool. No one is allowed to touch it."

"He's got six kids…He's too good for the YUV?"

"He says, he needs to look cool. The YUV with four small children in the back doesn't do it."

"I bet Isabel is ready to kill him."

"Actually, she's glad to get him out of the house for a few hours a day."

"So, how did he take the news? About you and Han, I mean."

"Oh, he was pretty good about it. After we scraped him off the ceiling and called his doctor, he was fine. He even behaved himself with Han's parents last night."

"What did you do, medicate him?" They laugh.

"No, he got along with Han's parents. I think he's going to meet them again today. They're staying through the weekend. So, tell me about you. How's your yoga school doing?"

"You should come and take a class. Bring Han with you."

"He's not the meditating type. Trust me; I'm still working on getting him to the altar. Baby steps, Pooja, baby steps."

Leia's uncle enters the room. Darred Janren looks at his daughter Pooja dressed in her hippie garb and wild blonde tresses. He rolls his eyes.

"Pooja, your mother bought Dory some new shoes. The kid is running around barefoot."

"Dad, she has shoes. She just prefers to walk in her bare feet. I keep telling you that and you and mom keep buying her shoes."

"Oh, and she bought her a new comb with wide teeth."

"She doesn't like her hair combed."

"Could it be because it's a tangled mess?"

"I like it. Shows she's her own person."

"She's eight years old. She's too young to be her own person."

"Could you be any more uptight, Dad?"

"You could maybe comb your hair too." He waves his hand over her long curly blond mane. Her patience is wearing thin but she thinks of one of her meditation mantras and she is in her peaceful place once more.

"Have a piece of fruit, Dad."

She hands him a pera. He looks across the counter at Leia. Leia dreads this. Leia has no 'peaceful place' to hide like Pooja. She has too much of her father in her. She would just as soon Force-choke him. Instead, she has her quick wit. It has served her well in the past. 'Uncle Dare-wood' finally speaks.

"So, Leia…I understand congratulations are in order."

"Hi, Uncle Darred. Are you offering me congratulations or were you 'ordered' to come in here?"

"I see you still have your biting wit. So, when's the big day?"

"We haven't set a date yet."

"Oh…so, will there be any unusual rituals or demands on the guests? Let me know in advanced. Not like Pooja's 'marriage rally'."

"I thought her wedding was pretty cool…but, no…I will have a typical wedding…for a 'Skywalker Brat.' There won't be any 'planned' surprises." She remembers 'brat' was one of the words he used to describe her and her brother when they were children. His brother Jev is so much nicer. What happened?

"Hmmm…alright. Give your uncle a hug."

Leia opens her arms and embraces her uncle. She looks over his shoulder at Pooja and rolls her eyes. Pooja takes another bite of her pera then smiles.

He leaves the room to mingle with other family members outside on the patio. Leia looks at her cousin.

"He hasn't changed since I was 6 years old. Are you at all upset by him?"

"Leia, I got over that drama years ago. My antics were cute until I got older and he realized he couldn't mold me into his vision of reality. He thinks my child is neglected. He simply cannot get his hands around the idea that his views are not mine. He's comfortable around what he knows in his mind is right. He wants 'Stepford' grandchildren. Ryoo gave him that. He loves Dory. He just wants me to raise her differently."

"He needs to lighten up."

"Leia, you are so lucky. You have the coolest father. All the years we were growing up, we were told horror stories. When I spent time with him at your house years ago, I realize he is the best father. He's funny too."

"I don't think he intends to be funny. It just comes out that way."

"He's going to be a wonderful grandfather."

"Oh, I don't intend on doing that to him for quite some time. One step at a time."

Pooja's prediction is right. It will be years away but Anakin will be a wonderful grandparent…after the initial shock. He will insist that his grandchildren address him as Ani. He will insist that Han address him as 'Mr. Skywalker.' Leia will tell Han that her father is only teasing him. Han is not so sure.

The Naberrie family gathers in the dining room for a lavish meal. Ruwee makes a toast.

"It's good to have the family here. Luke is absent but he called earlier and told me to relax and have fun. He wants to know how this little event goes before he springs any surprises of his own on us down the road. Leave it to Luke to make me rethink about how I see this family. I've learned in a short time to accept the sour with the sweet. Hell, I'm still learning. I feel truly blessed to have great children, grandchildren and three beautiful great grandchildren. I know there is a time for children to grow up and move on to lives of their own. We must not second-guess or judge them prematurely."

He looks at Darred then smiles and gives a sly wink to Pooja. She smiles back at her grandfather. Her mother Sola squeezes her daughter's hand. Ruwee continues his speech.

"We must give them space to do great things…and, yes…to make mistakes. Sometimes great things come from what we adults perceive as mistakes. That is not to say that a sometimes-meddling grandfather may not have an opinion or two. Just humor me and let me have my say. You're going to do it your way anyhow. God bless you stubborn kids."

There is laughter at the table as most everyone nods in agreement. Ruwee thinks of something else to say before drinking from his glass.

"Leia, thanks for coming to share your good news with the family. You're going to be a lovely bride. Han, welcome into the Naberrie family. I trust my granddaughter. She is a bright and responsible adult. She has done well. Let us give thanks for every good thing the gods have given us. Let us offer this toast to Han and Leia. Let us congratulate them on their future together."

The evening ends with Darred apologizing to his daughter for disapproving of her Bohemian lifestyle.

Han looks out on the night sky with Leia. They have escaped for a few moments alone with each other.

"I think your family is starting to like me."

"They do. They really do."

"Ryoo's really nice…how did she wind up with the 'Stepford husband and Children of the Damned? Don't those poor kids get to have any fun? They're dressed like mannequins."

Han holds a pose like a mannequin. Leia giggles.

"I think Kurt and Ryoo compliment one another. Opposites attract. Look at us."

Han holds his hair back from his forehead then tugs at his scalp. Leia stares with a puzzled expression on her face.

"Han, what are you doing?"

"Just checking to see if I've been transformed into a droid. I'm looking for mechanical parts. If there's a synthetic skin flap under my hairline I think I'm going to faint."

"Why do you think you were dipped in carbonite? My dad was making a mold of your body. I deserve an obedient husband….Relax. I'm teasing you. You know my father never tortured you….He's too busy tormenting other people."

"Not funny, Leia."

She laughs then kisses him. He thinks for a moment. He is not too sure now.

Back on Coruscant Anakin gets into his new speeder convertible. He inspects it for any damage. He meets James Solo for drinks. His father-in-law Nakai, Lando, Obi-Wan, Commander Cody, and Admiral Motti join then. They all don black ties and dinner jackets for a prime shaak steak dinner then head for the Sabacc tables.

Isabel plays hostess to Han's mother. This was not in the game plan. She needs to get a babysitter quick. She would have preferred to go out later. Isabel creates her own entourage. She invites her mother and her good friend Lara. Threepio and Artoo watch the children. Isabel is not far away. She is in the dayroom. The children are in the downstairs playroom. She knows that at some point she may be required to 'intervene.' The Skywalker children can be a handful.

'_The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen'_

That evening at the gentlemen's club –

Anakin has an automatic membership since he is a high-ranking official. He has never set foot in the place. When he visits on this occasion, the staff falls into place to accommodate him and his guests.

The maitre d' is a small man from Alderaan. He is slightly nervous and eager to please his patrons, especially the Dark Lord.

"Oh, Mr. _Skywacker_… it is so pleasing to see you here tonight. We have a special table for you. We made _ebery_ accommodation for you and your party."

"Thank you."

Anakin and his party are seated. The men have drinks before dinner. Anakin invites Admiral Motti as part of a program encouraged by Supreme Chancellor Valorum. The chancellor wants Anakin to get to know his officers better. Anakin is fine with this arrangement as long as Admiral Motti does not say anything stupid tonight to cause him to choke the man. Anakin thinks he can sit with the officer for an evening. Motti is an easy choice because they have 'history.' After all, they did have that lunch together a few years ago.

After dinner, Anakin and his 'entourage' participate in a game of Sabacc. He examines his hand.

It is round five. Anakin is holding the Ten of Flasks, the Five of Flasks, Demise, and the Mistress of Sabres. This hand has a value of 15. The dealer shows 39. He calls the hand, the dealer bombs out, and he wins 400 credits! The dealer pays 200 credits to the Sabacc pot.

Nakai holds the Mistress of Sabres, the Evil One, the Ten of Coins, and the Three of Sabres. This hand has a value of 11. The dealer shows 24. Nakai calls his hand, the dealer bombs out, and Nakai wins 300 credits! The dealer pays 150 credits to the Sabacc pot. This does not help him since he's still down 1200 credits.

Right now Lando and Anakin are ahead. Professor Solo is gaining ground. It is round seven. Anakin is now holding the Master of Sabres, the Idiot, the Three of Coins, and the Six of Coins. This hand has a value of 23, a Pure Sabacc! The dealer is showing the Five of Coins. Anakin bets 700 credits into the hand pot so far. Obi-Wan sits back smoking his pipe. The Professor looks across the table at Anakin. Commander Cody examines his hand.

"Was that really a 23?"

Professor Solo glances over at the cloned commander.

"What, we're going to quibble over five points?"

Lando smiles

"We can't help if you're playing like little girls."

Professor Solo responds.

"Oh, right…and you were on your best game when you lost that scrap heap Millennium Falcon from my son. Talk about whining like a little girl…"

It is round eight. Professor Solo is holding the Five of Staves, the Master of Coins, the Five of Flasks, and the Seven of Staves. This hand has a value of 31. It is a bomb-out. The dealer shows 46, a Sabacc! The dealer calls the hand, The Professor bombs out, the dealer wins the Sabacc pot, and Professor Solo loses his bet of 600 credits.

Lando laughs.

"Ha! I knew you were bluffing."

"How'd you know I was bluffing? I didn't do any of my tells. I didn't shuffle my cards, I didn't pull my mustache, and I didn't even whistle."

"You held your breath. Professor, I've been playing Sabacc with you and Han for years now. I know all your moves, old man."

"Well, there are some things a man just can't run away from."

"Professor, I'll buy you a drink."

"Thank you, General."

Obi-Wan examines his hand. He is holding the Master of Flasks, the Six of Flasks, Balance, and the Master of Staves. This hand has a value of 23, a Pure Sabacc! The dealer shows 40. Obi-Wan calls the hand, the dealer bombs out, and the Jedi Master win 10 credits, plus the Sabacc pot of 23 credits. This does not make him feel any better. He has lost 400 credits since the game began. Anakin is not fairing much better even after winning back some of his credits. He is still 1500 credits in the hole. Obi-Wan Force-talks to him.

'_How are you doing?'_

'_Sucky…You, Master?'_

'_This is not my lucky day. How did this happen? We're smarter than this.'_

Anakin looks over at Nakai.

"What happened, Nakai? You were kicking my ass a few weeks ago."

"This is not my night."

Admiral Motti is holding the Nine of Sabres, the Idiot, the Three of Sabres, and the Two of Coins. This hand is an Idiot's Array! The dealer shows 21. Motti calls the hand, and you win 120 credits, plus the Sabacc pot of 3606 credits! Anakin looks astonished.

"What the _'eff!'"_

Everyone folds. Commander Cody tosses his cards in the center of the table. He whispers to Anakin.

"Say the word, Mate, I'll blast him for you."

"No…That won't be necessary. It's refreshing to see Motti having a good time."

Lando shrugs then reaches across the table and shakes the Admiral's hand.

"Congratulations, Admiral. You played a good game."

"Thanks, General. This was fun. We have to do this again."

"That's a possibility."

Earlier that evening Isabel is entertaining her guests. They are relaxing on the comfortable overstuffed sofas and snacking on hot hors d'oeuvres and champagne. Isabel leaves the room shortly to check on her troop of 'Jawas'. She returns with 'Infant Jawa' Krizstan. She lounges on the long sofa sipping a raspberry bantha yogurt shake. The baby is sitting in her lap.

Sabrina Solo tells them stories about her husband and son. Lara and Ouisanne laugh. Isabel sets her glass down.

"So, Sabrina, tell us what Han was like as a child."

"Shorter."

"He was always…"

"It's okay, Isabel, you can say it. My son was a little wise-ass then too. His father wanted to kill him sometimes. He was always bringing home stray animals. He wanted to save every creature in the pound. One day it would be an injured Boga hatchling, the next day, I would find a voorpak in his bedroom. He begged us for a little Endorian pony. He finally got one when he turned ten. He used to disappear for days with that animal. He named him Indy. The two used to camp out under the stars. James had to go after them because Han would get lost in the woods. He loved that pony."

"How long did he have it?"

"A few years until we sent him off to boarding school…Han, not the pony. A Corellian Scavenge rat got onto the property and ate it."

All of the women gasp in horror. Ouisanne is especially mortified.

"Oh, that's horrible. Poor Han. How did you break the news to him?"

"Oh we told him it sprouted wings and a horn and flew away. And Han looked up at us and said, 'Like an angel horse, mummy?' and I replied, Yes! Exactly! He's such a bright boy."

Lara walks over to where Isabel is sitting and takes the baby to play with him.

"Hold on a sec. He never questioned you about it? His pet went missing."

"The handy man on our property almost let it slip when he shot a rat in the marshes. He said there was a long white tail between the creature's teeth. It apparently choked on whatever it had been eating. We told Han it was only a wing from a duck and the groundskeeper was mistaken. Han is a resilient boy. He can take almost anything. We don't keep much from him.

Oh, Isabel, we must go shopping this week! I haven't been to Rodia drive in years. I want to purchase a little black dress and well, when I get distressed by these little inconveniences like dead pets, the only thing that does any good is to jump in a speeder taxi and go to Tion's Jewelry Store. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that'd make me feel like Tion's, then - then I'd buy some little gift for Hansi and make it all better! Pity they don't sell pets. I've been meaning to make it up to him. He's such a darling boy. So, we should definitely do breakfast at Tion's." She refills her champagne glass.

Isabel looks at her.

"Uhm…Han is an adult now…You've told him haven't you?"

"Oh, heavens no! That would be cruel. James and I felt he should remember the good times he had with that pony."

The doorbell rings. This is Isabel's cue to leave the room, but before she can head for the door, Threepio answers it. She hears another voice. It sounds agitated. She can hear Threepio panicking. _'This is not happening'_ she says to herself. Not tonight. The voice gets closer.

"Out of my way you clumsy tinker box!"

"But, Sir, Master Ani is not in this evening."

"I know that now! Get away from me! Oh, Isabel, there you are my dear child."

Threepio tries to apologize.

"Madame Isabel, I apologize profusely. He just barged in…"

"That's okay, Threepio. Are the children in bed? Tell them I'm coming up there in a minute. There's going to be repercussions."

"They are securely tucked in, Madame Isabel. I told them not one peep. They'll get no sympathy from me."

"Thank you."

Threepio turns toward the 'intruder'. Palpatine smiles when he sees Isabel. Threepio turns away in a huff and heads back upstairs.

Palpatine gives Isabel a hug.

"How are you my dear?"

"I'm fine. What can I do for you?"

"I found out that Anakin is entertaining the future in-laws and he forgot to invite me. How could he leave me out of something so important?"

"I think it was a last minute decision. I thought you had a play tonight."

"I have an understudy. I am on a well-deserved extended holiday. The children are asleep?"

"Yes. I'll tell Anakin you stopped by…" She is about to usher him back towards the front door.

Palpatine pokes his head in the doorway of the dayroom. He sees she has company.

"Oh, how nice, you're having friends over. Ouisanne, Lara! How lovely to see you ladies. I can stay awhile." He hands Isabel his hat and coat and walks pass her into the room. She tosses his things on a chair outside the room. Isabel's mother is surprised to see him. She keeps an eye on the old sith.

"Hello, Dantius."

He takes the baby from Lara.

"Ah! There's our new little Skywalker! My, he's filling out. What a big boy you are! Hello, Lara. I see you're enjoying your time as godmother to my grandson."

"I was going to put him back in his room."

"Don't worry. I'll do it." He sees Sabrina Solo sitting on the sofa in the corner. He zooms in on her. "Ah! Any I don't believe we have been properly introduced. Isabel has her hands full with these darling children. She has completely forgotten to introduce us."

Sabrina Solo extends her hand. He kisses it.

"I am Han Solo's mother Sabrina."

"My word! Madame you look young enough to be his sister! Isn't my daughter-in-law a lovely hostess?"

"She's marvelous! You know, I believe we've met before."

"Really? When?"

"At the Galaxies Opera House some twenty-five years ago. I was with my husband at the Mon Calamari performance of _'Squid Lake'_. You were two boxes away from us. We met during intermission. You were with a tall woman in blue."

"Oh, yes, yes! I think I recall that moment. You're still as elegant as I remember you back then. See? What a small galaxy we live in. We meet again. Had I known Han Solo was your son…I would have been nicer…I mean it would have been nice to know that we would have had so much more to talk about. The boy is never at a loss for words….and has such wit and charm. So, what's going on here? Champagne, caviar, canapés… You ladies spending the evening gossiping the night away, eh?"

The other women are losing patience with him. Lara hands him a glass of champagne then takes the baby from him. She helps Isabel tend to the children upstairs.

"Isabel, don't worry. We'll stay until the old goat leaves." They walk into the nursery. Isabel hears giggling in the adjoining room. She pokes her head in to see Li-An pretending to be asleep.

"Go to sleep."

"I thought I heard Gramps."

"He should be leaving shortly."

"I don't think so. Luke says he never knows when to take a hint."

"Well, let's see if you can take a hint when I turn off this light."

"Goodnight, Mom. If you need us we could run interference and get him out of the house."

"Maybe next time, sweetie. Love you."

He reaches for her to get a goodnight kiss. Alex does the same thing. Ana-Lena gets out of her bed and walks into the room.

"Goodnight, Mom. When is Daddy coming home?"

"Late."

"Is he going to have another headache tomorrow?"

"If he's not smart he will."

"Then he's going to have a whopper."

"I'm sure he'll appreciate your support."

"Goodnight, Mom. Goodnight Aunt Lara!"

"Goodnight sweetheart. You're a little beauty queen."

"Leia say's she'll teach me to do the beauty queen wave."

"Well, she would be the best one to teach you." Lara carries her back to her room.

Isabel and Lara return to the dayroom. Palpatine is telling Ouisanne and Sabrina about his woes as he stuffs his mouth with appetizers. Isabel rolls her eyes. The women sit around listening to him drone on.

Back at the Sabacc game across town, Anakin buys one last round of drinks. He settles the bill. The men start to file out of the place. They start to disperse. Commander Cody is about to hop a ride with Admiral Motti. Anakin whispers something to Lando. Lando intervenes and takes Cody with him.

"Come on, you loose cannon. I'll give you a ride home."

"Anakin doesn't trust me?"

"Not one _'effing'_ bit. Let's go."

Admiral Motti stops to chat with Anakin.

"I actually had a great time. Thanks for inviting me, Anakin."

"Glad you could make it. It was fun."

"For awhile there I thought you were going to strangle me for winning."

"Hey, I'm a good sport. You win some, you lose some. I'll see you at the office on Monday, _Monti._ Just kidding…Motti." He playfully punches the admiral in the arm. Motti punches back and smiles. Anakin looks at him. It is an awkward moment. Motti gulps and tugs at his shirt collar then nervously adjusts his bowtie.

"Good night."

Nakai drives Obi-Wan back to the house. Anakin slaps Professor Solo on the back. The professor waits outside with Anakin while an attendant gets the speeder.

"Anakin, that was a splendid night out. You truly know how to show someone a good time. Reminds me of my younger days when I served in Her Majesty's Secret Service at Theed Palace."

"That's good to hear. Okay, let's get out of here. I miss my wife."

"I can't say I blame you. She's a beautiful lady." They sit in the speeder after the valet delivers it. Anakin smiles in agreement.

"Yeah…about that…" Before the professor can respond Anakin's fist hits the man in the jaw. "Now I remember." He starts the speeder and drives off. Professor Solo is stunned then opens his mouth to realign his jaw. Anakin smiles as they cruise up the expressway.

Anakin arrives home late that evening. Lara has left. She and her husband drop off Mrs. Solo at the hotel. Anakin sees the light on in the dayroom. He walks in to find Nakai, Ouisanne, and Obi-Wan sitting there. Palpatine is sitting at the window in the armchair. He is waiting for Anakin.

"What are you doing here at this hour?"

"Anakin, Son, we need to talk."

"It's after midnight. Go home. Did you upset Isabel?"

"No. I would never do that."

Obi-Wan stands next to Nakai. They wait.

"Anakin, do you need us to stay for this?"

"No…wait outside. Let me talk to him for a minute 'cause that's all he's getting. A minute."

Everyone leaves the room. Obi-Wan closes the door. Anakin circles the old sith.

"Why are you here causing chaos?"

"I didn't cause any chaos. I came to see you."

"I wasn't home."

"I was fully aware of that. How come you didn't invite me to your club?"

"It was a private party. I was entertaining guests."

"Don't you think I wanted to be part of the fun? How come I wasn't invited to dinner to meet Han's parents?"

"Because it wasn't about you. It was for Han's father."

"Isabel's father was there."

"So. I like Isabel's father. He knows how to enjoy himself and he gets along well with others."

"I can enjoy myself."

"You don't play Sabacc."

"I could learn. Anakin, I want to be included in more family activities. Can you not see it in your heart to grant me this one thing? I am all alone. I rarely see my grandchildren…please…don't make me beg."

"Oh, Geez…here we go." Anakin has been around the old corpse long enough to see through his crocodile tears. He paces a bit then faces the old man and points to him. "You can't storm in here anymore, especially when I am not at home. You understand me?"

"Yes, Anakin. I understand." His voice becomes meek and pathetic as Anakin slowly acquiesces to Palpatine's groveling.

"You are to call first. If Isabel doesn't hear from me, she does not have to let you in the house. And stop pushing my droids around. They have feelings. Do it again and I'll sic Skippy on you. He has a mad dog program chip just itching for activation. Don't piss me off because I'll use it. I can do it remotely."

"I'll comply to anything. I promise."

"Obi-Wan's going to drive you home. Don't piss him off either."

"I'll behave. I'll buy him a fifth of Caamas. He likes that stuff, right? He's got a lead stomach..."

"You know…the more you move your lips the quicker I'm going to rescind this offer."

"No!...okay…okay…I'm sorry, Anakin."

"Go now. Obi-Wan has to get home to his girlfriend."

"The stripper…?"

"One…two…three…four…"

"Alright! I'm leaving!" He shuffles out of the room and follows Obi-Wan out the front door. Nakai and Ouisanne are heading out. She kisses her son-in-law.

"Goodnight, Mom."

"Goodnight, Anakin. You're such a sweet man."

"Hey, I've got a soft heart."

"The angels are waiting in Heaven for you."

"Aww…thanks, Mom…goodnight."

Anakin locks up after everyone leaves. He turns towards the stairway only to be confronted by Threepio. The droid startles him a bit.

"Oh, Master, what you said just now was amazing. You really get us droids. You like me...you really like me."

"Get out of my way!" He shoves the droid out of the way and heads upstairs. He gets ready for bed. As his head hits the pillow, he blows on the back of Isabel's neck.

"Oh, 'Bel…I remembered what happened the other night and it's been resolved. I have defended your honor, milady."

"That's nice."

"I cold-cocked the lascivious SOB. That'll teach him!"

"You hit our future in-law?"

"Uhm…yeah…"

"Oh…Anakin…what is wrong with you? You have got to address your anger issues. Goodnight."

She turns out the light and goes to sleep. He looks up at the ceiling in the dark room. He grabs a pillow and screams into it.

_To be continued… 'Don't Let Your Kids Grow up…Just Don't' _

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**_Attention Readers: It might take 24 hours or more for the next chapter of this family saga. In the meantime, I hope you are enjoying this humorous and sometimes touching space ride through the Galaxy_**

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	130. Chapter 130 Don't Let Your Kids Grow Up

_Chapter 130_

* * *

_'Don't Let Your Kids Grow up…Just Don't' _

'_If You Cheat Don't Get Caught, But If You Do, Lie and Hope Your Wife Never Finds Out'_

'_I Love a Military Man'_

'_Dream…Dream, Dream, Dream'_

* * *

Months pass since the holiday get-togethers and family events. Leia is back at work and Han is on a mission he committed to long before the engagement announcement. Anakin is back at the office on a regular basis. It is a continuing part of his 'Get to Know Your Troops' program. His human resources director and personnel advisor Jar-Jar suggests an annual company picnic. Anakin was dreading this. Luke sees the memo on his father's desk and thinks it is a great idea. 'That wacky Gungan is a genius,' he tells his father.

Anakin is still wrestling with some personal issues. He overhears Li-An talking with some friends in the garden as they play.

"Yeah, my Dad's getting fixed. I saw the pamphlet in his room. Eliot said it happened in his family. The old guy just lays around the house getting fat and lazy. Eliot's mom said she thinks it's time to put him down."

The other children listen and express shock.

"No way!"

"Way. She's says he's '_inconsonant' _and pees all over the house. She's had enough."

"It's tough but his mom said she thinks a younger one would make things a lot better. She's going to take him and his sister in town to find a new one."

Anakin feels he is going to faint. That's how it went down with Old Yeller.' Could this happen to him too? Anakin is devastated. He makes up his mind that there will be no surgery. Isabel won't get rid of him that easily. He knows he will have to change his attitude. He will need to speak to her immediately. He is afraid…very afraid.

Isabel notice Anakin's behavior is a bit odd lately. He has stopped sampling her cooking. He is usually sneaking a taste before she is done cooking.

"Honey, taste this and tell me what you think."

"Why?"

"I just want your opinion. I might serve this to you for dinner."

"What am I to you, the royal taste tester?"

"Anakin, you're being weird. You act as if I'm trying to poison you."

"So, it has crossed your mind I see."

"Are you alright?"

"I'm doing just fine." He grabs some fruit and disappears to his study.

Anakin knows he is being neurotic. He really wanted dinner that evening but he has to stick to his principles…whatever they were. He bites into the juicy apple. Yes, it is good and good for him but he wanted a hot meal. He can smell the enticing aroma of the sautéed fennel married in the broth of the Kamino prime rib of swordfish roasted tomatoes and cured olives sends his head swimming. Not once did Luke or Leia leave the table to be with their father. They were too busy stuffing their faces. Fresh lemon juice and basil wafting through the air and no one stopped to think about him. To add insult to injury, Luke's knucklehead friend Kyle Katarn is enjoying a dinner that was prepared by Isabel with her husband in mind. Everyone is eating his food!

It is time to try a different tactic before he starves to death.

He does attempt to help more around the house. He figures that he could score points with her and perhaps this will change her mind about getting rid of him. He will need to confront her eventually. He is quiet at night too. He is going to sleep with one eye open from now on.

Anakin needs some advice He invites Obi-Wan to join him at the Imperial Executive gym. Obi-Wan figures this must be pretty serious if Anakin is inviting him to the fitness center.

The two men are working out on treadmills when Anakin pours his heart out to his former master. Obi-Wan is still in great shape even 25 after Mustafar. He is impressed by the state-of-the-art fitness center. Maybe this is a good time to hit Anakin for a grant to refurbish the gym at the Jedi Temple. Anakin will eventually agree to the grant but taunts Obi-Wan about the Jedi Code. What happen to a life of humility and sacrifice, the distain for luxuries and pleasure? Obi-Wan would respond by saying, a fit body is a sign of a powerful Jedi.

Obi-Wan turns his head towards his former mentee.

"Nice place. So why are we here, Anakin?"

""I'm worried about my family."

"Oh boy, here we go again. What now?"

"I think Isabel's going to leave me or maybe have me killed."

"What? Oh, heavens, Anakin! Are you still taking that old medication from seven years ago? That stuff has an expiration date you know."

"But I heard it myself."

"Okay…from whom, Anakin?"

"From a reliable source."

"A reliable source?"

"Li-An. He heard it first-hand from one of little friends in school."

"Oh, well that makes all the difference. If you want the facts, go to a seven year old. So tell me, how did you come to this absurd conclusion? How do you figure that the beautiful woman who loves you and has taken care of your six children wants to kill you?"

"Don't judge me. Lots of couples have six kids."

"Anakin, what are you talking about? No one is judging you. Why are you acting this way?"

"I heard that if I get this surgery, my body is going to go kaput and then I won't be worth a crap. She's going to have me euthanized because of it. But you know what's worse? She's planning to go shopping for a new husband."

"Anakin, does any part of what you're saying make any sense to you?"

"That's my whole point. Look at me. I'm in great shape! What woman wouldn't want a piece of this?"

"I think you have misunderstood this whole thing."

The two friends move to the free-weight bench area. Anakin sets up 500 pounds on the bar. Obi-Wan has already begun his bench presses. Anakin is chatting away but not before laughing at one of the Imperial officers bench-pressing 50 pounds. Anakin gets Obi-Wan's attention then nods his head in the direction of the officer.

"Pssst…Obi-Wan…to your right." He continues his discussion after he gets his chuckles in at the poor officers' expense. These guys crack me up….So, as I was saying… Isabel has a temper…you wouldn't know it to look at her. I see a whole other side to her. "

"Anakin, you're insane. Isabel is the most even-tempered person I know. She's a saint to put up with you. Have you stopped going to therapy?"

"Why?"

"You're being unreasonable. Anyway, what would happen if you don't have the surgery?"

"Uh…you don't think she'll leave me?"

"Has she been pushing for it?"

"No. The hospital gave me the brochure. Isabel said it's up to me. Hey, she's right. I'm the head of the family. What I say goes. No one has control over my destiny. No operation is going to ruin my life. I make all the decisions in my house."

"There you go! You're on the right track now. Just imagine where you'd be if Isabel left all the thinking to you."

"Excellent point, Obi-Wan." Anakin starts bench-pressing. He stops to think about what Obi-Wan has just said but it is throwing off his counting.

"Anakin, was Li-An talking to his friend Eliot?"

"What? Oh, yeah. I think that's the kid's name."

"I believe you misunderstood. They euthanized the family pet. It was old. I heard about it because Yoda taught the kids a lesson about loss."

"Oh…okay…uhm…I knew that."

Obi-Wan sits upright on his bench and surveys the room.

"Yes, this is truly a nice facility."

"You're really liking this place aren't you? Haven't you been up here before?"

"I don't recall ever being invited."

"Oh, that was Han Solo."

"You invited Han Solo?"

"It was years ago, Obi-Wan. Anyway, I had an ulterior motive."

"I see. And now he's about to become your son-in-law."

"Don't remind me. I'm still adjusting."

The two men visit the sauna. They sit on the upper bench. After a few minutes, the door swings open. Governor Tarkin enters. His thin pasty body does not appear to be fit enough to withstand the extreme temperature inside the room. His spindly chalky legs stick out from the white towel hanging from his bony hips. He notices Anakin and the Jedi Master across the room as he sits close to the door. He nods.

"Gentlemen."

Anakin replies.

"Governor."

Obi-Wan nods to the high-ranking officer.

"Governor."

Anakin lays down on his back then taps Obi-Wan with his foot. Obi-Wan feels a comment coming from his host and is determined to ignore him. Anakin realizes he is not getting a response and speaks.

"Put some more water on those lava rocks. It's getting dry in here. I can barely breathe."

Obi-Wan Force-speaks back to him.

"Why me? You're the host."

"Those rocks are hot. You do it. I'll treat you to lunch and drinks in the executive dining room."

"Ok." Obi-Wan steps down from his place on the bench and grabs the ladle from the wall. He pours water over the Mustafar rocks in the center of the room. A blast of steam rises from the pile of red-hot rocks. The rocks crackle and rumble as the water hits them. Tarkin sits quietly with his eyes closed as Obi-Wan puts the ladle back on the hook then returns to his place on the bench.

Anakin rests his head on the extra towel he brings with him. His breathing is slow and shallow. Tarkin glances up at him then turns away. Several minutes pass. Three more officers enter the sauna. General Tagge and Admiral Ozzel and Admiral Piett shuffle in and sit along the upper and lower benches near Tarkin.

Anakin Force-speaks to Obi-Wan again.

"_What is this? The Imperial 'Sweat Fest'?"_

"_Ani, please don't start anything with these guys."_

"_Calm down, Obi-Wan. I'm just going to have a bit of fun."_

Anakin speaks so the officers can hear him. He is still on his back. Obi-Wan hopes none of the officers is foolhardy enough to get angry and toss a lava rock in Anakin's direction.

"So…who is in charge of the commander center if all of you are in here?"

Suddenly he hears shuffling and grumbling. Admiral Piett answers.

"There are several officers in the Imperial Command Center your Lordship but if …"

Anakin interrupts and waves his hand for the officer to stay.

"Relax, Admiral. I was just joking with you guys. You're a fidgety bunch."

Anakin resumes his Force-chat with Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan does not know how much longer he can remain in the room without letting out a laugh. Anakin continues to make remarks about the officers. He tells Obi-Wan it looks like an 'Imperial Death Jam' with the entire room of sweating pasty flesh sitting around him. They should be in the tanning room next door over instead of here in the sauna. After a few more minutes, he decides it is time to leave. He 'speaks' to Obi-Wan again.

"_Okay, I'm done 'sweating with the oldies', present company excepted. Let's get out of here."_

Obi-Wan is relieved to hear this.

"_Thank heavens!"_

The 'Dark Lord of Comedy' and his Jedi sidekick leave the sauna and hit the showers, get dressed and go to the executive dining room for lunch. Obi-Wan has a shaak steak lunch special and a Caamas on the rocks. Anakin has a salad carrot juice. Isabel is preparing fish tonight. He misses her cooking after his self-imposed 'boycott' now that he realizes she is now out to get him. He will be good and hungry by the time he gets home. He also wants to make up with his wife. If all goes well, he won't see anyone else until breakfast.

Breakfast time is important for Anakin. That is when most of the children are around. Leia is usually the first to leave the breakfast table however so she can get to work on time. Luke usually heads for the Jedi Temple and takes Li-An and Alex with him. He drops them off to Jedi training. Anakin drops off Ana-Lena later since the three year olds do not start until ten o'clock. Yoda is always happy to see them. He is even more excited to see them go home. It is like Skywalker overload at the Jedi Temple. The aging Jedi Master will not get a break until little Krizstan graduates. If the Jedi Order can manage to get a reprieve after they all grow up and get married.

Yoda is giving serious thought to early retirement. Perhaps, if Luke and Leia's future children are too dumb to get into the academy then he can retire in peace. On the other hand, if the monsters are halfway talented in the Force, he may have to delay taking his retirement package. He is not sure another Jedi Master could handle any descendents of the 'House of Skywalker.'

The breakfast room is always lively. The three Bear Clan Younglings sit at the breakfast table. The baby is in his highchair feeding himself soggy bits of waffles and fruit from his tray and twisting his bib. Ana-Lena sits next to her big sister. She tells Leia she wants to be just like her when she grows up. Luke grins. "So you want to be know-it-all and pushy, eh?"

Alex is the family's the restless little comedian. Obi-Wan finds it refreshing that the tot speaks his mind even at inconvenient moments. Anakin winds up laughing before he can punish the child for any infraction. He does not want to stifle his children. They are innocent little creatures.

Li-An is spending his last year as a Bear Clan member. He will soon be promoted to Padawan. Obi-Wan has agreed to take him on as his apprentice. For now, he is just a small boy playing with his siblings.

"Wow! Mom must be really happy this morning, she made us waffles."

Alex nods in agreement.

"Yeah. I thought we were going to get cereal. Nana always gives us waffles when we spend the night at her house. She must have told Mom to make waffles today."

Leia has fruit and a blue milk yogurt. Li-An watches his big sister.

"You still on your wedding diet?"

"What? I beg your pardon? I am not on a wedding diet."

"That's what Luke says. He said you want to make sure your dress doesn't burst at the seams when Daddy drags you down the aisle."

"Luke doesn't know what he's talking about. Besides…Daddy is not going to 'drag' me down the aisle."

Li-An gulps down his milk them looks at his sister.

"Well, maybe he said you were going to drag Daddy down the aisle."

Alex giggles.

"Yeah…Luke said Daddy calls your wedding the 'Nerf Mile,' a long and dusty trail."

Leia looks across the table at Luke. "Luke, I'll talk to you later."

"Why don't you have a waffle, you'll feel better."

"I don't want a waffle."

Alex looks at his big sister.

"Everybody love waffles. I love waffles. I could eat waffles for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I could eat waffles before I take my nap."

"Is that so, little guy?"

"Yep!"

"Sit up so you don't choke."

"Waffles don't make you choke. Daddy does. Hehehee! I can eat ten waffles! I can eat a waffle this big!" He opens his arms.

"You think you can but you can't fit all those waffles in that tiny belly. You're not a glutton." She tickles him.

Ana-Lena sips her milk then sets her glass beside her plate. "Yoda says gluttony is a deadly sin."

Li-An rolls his eyes.

"Yoda eats everything that's not pinned down. He shouldn't talk"

Ana-Lena points an accusing finger at her brother.

"Oooh, you called Yoda a glutton."

"No I didn't, but he sure eats like one."

Everyone laughs. Leia tries to get the children under control.

"Alright. Cut it out. Dad will be down soon. He doesn't like it when we say anything unkind about the Jedi Masters."

Alex looks around.

"Where's Mom?"

Luke answers.

"I believe Dad wanted to have a meeting with her."

"They sure have a lot of meetings in the morning."

Li-An giggles.

"They have meetings in the shower."

Alex ponders for a moment.

"How do you have a meeting in the shower? All your notes get wet."

Li-An has all the answers.

"I think they already know what they're going to say."

Leia smiles as she leaves the table.

"On that note, I am leaving. Have fun carpooling, Luke."

Luke is glad Leia is leaving now. She does not want to hear anymore talk about the wedding. In a matter of months, she will be Mrs. Han Solo. Every time the issue is brought up, the reality is setting in fast. There is so much to do. The constant jokes are a nuisance. Luke is sorry he started and tries to change the topic.

"Okay, you kids, calm down. Alex, finish your breakfast. We have to leave soon. Yoda doesn't like it when you're late."

"I'm never late…you're late bringing me to class."

"Dad told you to say that?"

"Yes. He said because I can't drive. It's not my fault 'cause I'm a minor."

"Dad's been taking that night school law class a bit too seriously."

"He said he's going to become a great legal mind."

"Hah!"

"He said he knew you would laugh."

"Wipe your face and let's get out of here. Threepio, come over here and get the baby."

"Oh, dear. Master Kris, you're like a smelly squirming waffle."

Threepio holds the baby like contaminated cargo sewage.

"Yeah, he's in dire need of a bath and a clean diaper."

Luke grabs the Youngling gear bags for Li-An and Alex. The three head out of the house. They wave goodbye to Ana-Lena, and the droids.

"Byee! Eww! Kris, you stink!"

Threepio dangles the infant with one hand then ushers Ana-Lena back inside as she waves goodbye to her brothers.

"Come inside now, Little Miss."

"What are we going to do now, Threepio?"

"Your father is still _'pumping'_ your mother for information. That meeting has gone on longer than expected. It's time to page them." He grabs a small device from the kitchen counter and presses the button. A terse voice speaks through the pager.

"What?"

"Master, Ani, everyone has left and I have Little Miss and a bundle of toxic waste that is in need of a bath."

Ana-Lena looks up at the droid and holds her nose but she is smiling. The doorbell rings. Threepio is waiting for a response. Finally, the master of the house replies.

"Fine. We'll be out in a minute." The Dark Lord signs off. Artoo goes to the door. He looks through the security monitor then says something to Threepio.

"You're right to screen for unauthorized visitors, Artoo. Don't let him in. We are defenseless…"

Threepio thinks for a moment remembering he is still holding the toxic waste baby. Ana-Lena watches the baby drool and coo. The smell is getting worse.

"Artoo, answer the door. I believe this will work out after all."

Artoo opens the door. The old man makes his way inside giving the smaller droid a dirty look.

"How dare you keep me waiting! Oh, hello, Ana-Lena, sweet child. Where are your parents?"

"They're in a meeting. They'll be out soon."

"They left you alone with droids?"

'They take good care of us." She smiles up at the protocol droid. Threepio looks back at her.

"Why thank you, Little Miss."

Palpatine looks at the droids with an air of contempt.

"You two may leave. I'll take the children from here."

Threepio and Artoo exchange glances.

"Are you sure, Sir?"

"Of course I'm sure, you metallic twit! Hand him over to me now."

"Okay! We'll be on our way. Come, Artoo."

The droid releases the baby into Palpatine's arms. Threepio and Artoo scurry out of the room. Artoo chirps and snickers as they disappear. Palpatine sniffs around the immediate area. He looks down at Ana-Lena.

"Good Heavens, what is that putrid smell?"

Ana-Lena points to the baby in his arms. He looks in horror. Ana-Lena folds her hands behind her.

"He needs a bath."

"Ugh! You need a new baby! I don't recall any of you children smelling his bad."

"Our grandpop Nakai never said that to us. He says we all we all had the scent of the great outdoors and he changed us and never complained."

He mutters to himself.

"The stench must have burnt his olfactory nerves." He speaks aloud. "Well…I suppose it's up to me to get you tots dressed. How does this work?"

Ana-Lena points upstairs. They head for the nursery. Ana-Lena instructs the old sith as they go into the bathroom.

"You have to take off his diaper."

"Oh dear." He places the baby on the changing table. He almost faints as he opens the diaper. Ana-Lena tells him what to do next."

"You have to put it in the waste disposal chute but you can't leave the baby on the table. Don't throw the baby in the chute." He looks at her almost insulted that she would think he would get confused so easily. "Now you have to rinse him off before you bathe him but you have to test the water first. Don't drop him. He's not made of rubber. If you do drop him, my parents are going to be mad."

"They won't be mad at you."

"Oh, I know that. They'll be mad at you."

"Okay. Now for the bath water." He walks over to the bathtub.

"You can't put the baby in the tub. He needs his baby tub."

"Where is it?"

"We have a new one but it's on the shelf. Maybe you had better wash him in the sink Hurry up. He's cold."

"You sure are bossy. You used to be so sweet."

"Leia says sweet only gets you so far. You have to use finesse to get your point across. I don't know who Finesse is but he sure does help. Anyway, my daddy says I'm still sweet."

"I should have known your sister has been schooling you."

"Isn't she great?"

Palpatine finally gets the water just right. Ana-Lena hands him the baby soap.

"This is going quite well. He smells better already."

"You're not done yet. You have to get my bath ready because I'm not allowed to turn on the water."

"But where will I put the baby?"

"You can't leave him in the sink. Finish bathing him and start my bath. You're too slow. My mother does this faster."

"Where is your mother? If she were a responsible parent she would be here right now."

"I wouldn't say that if I were you."

"Why? She's not here. Anakin needs to talk to her." He washes the baby's hair. Krizstan splashes as Palpatine tries to wash his hair.

"Don't get soap in his eyes. I'm going to be late for Yoda's class. Hurry please."

"Listen Leia…I mean Ana-Lena…you kids…"

"Daddy says if you don't learn patience you can't watch us again. Why are you here now?"

"I wanted to ask your father something."

"Are you going to run my bath now?"

"Yes!" He grabs a towel and wraps the baby in it. He hurries over to the tub and starts the bathwater. Ana-Lena squeezes some 'Tatooine Princess Bath Soap' into the running water. "How much of this stuff do you need?"

"It's supposed to be a princess bath. You need to put a diaper on Kris or he's going to pee all over you. Hurry up, my bathtub is filling up."

He manages to go to the changing table to dress the baby then returns to the tub. An-Lena makes him turn away so she can get undressed and step inside the tub.

"Hold my hand so I don't fall but don't look at me."

"How can I hold the baby, hold your hand, and turn away? Do you do this with your father?"

"No. He's my daddy. He's bathed me since I was a baby."

She settles in the tub and starts her beauty bath. Meanwhile, Anakin and Isabel are watching them on a hidden camera from the master bedroom. They are both dressed. Anakin is laughing.

"She's giving him a run for his money."

"I'm going in there to get my children before he drops them."

"He won't drop them. He's too scared."

"Did you know he was coming over?"

"Sort of. I felt his presence at the front door. It was a great opportunity to put him to the test."

Anakin goes into the nursery. Ana-Lena is still in the tub.

"Hi, Daddy!"

"Good morning, Sweet pea. Got enough soap bubbles in there?" He looks at the billowy soapsuds.

'Yes. Grampa, let me put it in."

Palpatine looks up at Anakin from the bench near the tub.

"Good morning, Anakin. Where have you been? These poor children were abandoned when I arrived."

"They were never in any danger. Thanks for bathing them." He whispers aside to him. "Don't let her put the soap in the bath anymore. Isabel and I give her a near-empty bottle. We never let her have the full bottle. It looks like a Hoth snowstorm in that tub. I almost couldn't see my daughter in there. What brings you over?"

"I don't have a show today so I thought I would stop by. I know, I know I'm supposed to call first but I was in the area. Ani, did you say not to let her put the soap in herself anymore? Does this mean…"

"Isabel and I agreed to let you spend more time with the children…but the same rules apply so don't mess up."

"I promise. I'll take good care of them. Oh, hello, Isabel."

"Good morning." She opens the stopper to the bathtub then rinses the soap off her daughter. She holds out a towel. Ana-Lena yells at her father and the old sith.

"Daddy, Grampa, turn around!"

The two men cover their eyes as she stands in the tub. Anakin laughs.

"Modest today? Gee…"

Anakin takes the baby and begins to dress him. Ana-Lena is soon dressed and ready for Youngling class. Anakin leaves with Palpatine and the children. They are on their way to the Jedi Temple. Palpatine has to wait in the visitor's area while Anakin drops off his daughter and Yoda assesses the baby. Anakin and Palpatine go to the Bimmisaari Teahouse for lunch until it is time to pick up the children.

During the rest of the week, Anakin takes the children to the regular school. The headmaster at Garm Bel Iblis Private Elementary looks forward to several more years of Skywalker children in this school. He looks forward to it because he has to warn the teachers and staff by memo so they know what they are in for during the school year. He stocks the teacher's lounge with lots of headache medicine or, as some of the teaching staff refers to it as, 'Jedi-aleviatemotrinol' the extra-strength 8-hour time-release capsules.

Ana-Lena and infant Krizstan remain at home except on days when Ana-Lena attends Youngling training. Luke or her father usually drops her off.

'_Garm Bel Iblis Private Elementary Show & Tell'_

One day she has to present something for 'Show and Tell' day. She decides to bring in a doll from her collection. What she brings is her infant brother. Krizstan had been quietly sleeping in the toy doll pram. Anakin never thinks to look in the pram in the back seat of the YUV. A doll is in the cradle beside the living room sofa. Isabel calls Anakin in a panic. The teacher is calling too. Anakin hurries back in the pre-school classroom after his young daughter has finished her presentation. He does not wish to embarrass Ana-Lena in front of the other children. Her 'Show and Tell' presentation is the hit of the day. The children gather round to look at her 'living doll.' She sees her father at the door before recess starts.

"Hi, Daddy!"

"Hi, sweet pea. Can I talk to you for a moment?"

"I'll miss recess. Will you take my 'show and tell' home for me? I want to play with my friends."

"Of course I will. I'll be back later to pick you up."

"Okay, Daddy." She gives her father a hug.

"Now run along." He looks up at the teacher as he holds his daughter. He does not want to listen to a lecture by the teacher and she had better not report him to children's services because of this incident.

Ana-Lena kisses her baby brother then runs off to join her friends. Anakin takes the pram. It's a good thing that the toy pram is constructed well. It is strong enough to hold the infant's weight. Anakin carries the pram and its precious cargo back to the YUV and returns home. Krizstan has been asleep most of the morning. He chooses to wake up during the ride back to the house. Anakin looks at him in the baby seat from the rearview mirror. The baby is screaming.

"Listen, Kris, you managed to be in dreamland all morning. Don't do this to me now."

As soon as they approach the front door, the baby is calm and smiling.

Anakin never has a talk with his daughter about her unauthorized use of her baby brother. Isabel looks in his eyes when he walks through the door. She knows he could not do it. She will have to chat with her miniature 'baby swapper' later.

Anakin spends a few hours at home with Isabel and the baby before he has to pick up his daughter at school. He will not go to the office today. He does not mind being with the children all day. There will be plenty of opportunities to bring them into the office…from time to time.

Anakin does bring the children to the office in more often. He makes the mistake however, of bringing them all in at one time. This turns out to be a disaster. Gladys winds up with the baby while Li-An and Alex fight over who will control the meditation chamber. At one time, the chamber was dismantled. It was then put back for use as non-functioning conversation piece. The children love it.

Four children in the office, however, is not a good thing. He decides one Skywalker child at headquarters per visit is more than enough. Ana-Lena is more manageable, and, as always, she seems to bring out his softer side.

On the days Ana-Lena accompanies her father, the atmosphere is less tense. She has a way of charming the officers and making them smile. Captain Lorth Needa is one of the Imperial officers who take advantage of 'Bring Your Offspring to Work' program. This is another program instituted by Jar-Jar. Once a week the enlisted men and officers bring their children to the Imperial Headquarters. Captain Needa brings in his young son Cort Needa in to observe. Cort will eventually attend the Imperial Academy like his father and grandfather before him.

Ana-Lena sits in her father's office looking out the window as he sits at his desk drafting a speech to present to the graduating class of cadets At the Imperial Junior Academy. He re-writes it several times. For some reason _'My fellow space cadets'_ does not have the right ring to the opening. He is going to have to work harder. Ana-Lena is growing bored. Gladys is busy typing up the drafts and each time Anakin changes it. She presents the most current one to him. He sits back in his chair then releases a long sigh. Gladys glances over at Ana-Lena then looks at her boss.

"Why don't we take a break? It will clear your head."

"My head is clear. It's empty…you know what I mean."

"Why don't I take Ana-Lena to the commissary? We'll leave you to your thoughts. You never know what new ideas will come to you."

"Okay, Gladys. Ana-Le, go with Gladys."

"Where am I going?"

"To a fun place."

"Okay. Bye, Daddy."

"See you in a bit, sweet pea."

The Imperial commissary is full of activity. The officers' dining hall is across the hall. The main cafeteria is filled with other military personnel, cadets, and interns.

Ana-Lena clutches her doll as she follows Gladys to the line. They have a bite to eat and a bowl of ice cream for dessert. The chef makes it extra special for the daughter of the dark lord. It is a nice place but not at all fun.

Gladys remembers to bring back a sandwich for Anakin. Ana-Lena drifts over to the window.

She sees some boys at the outside café playing. They are a few years older. She goes to the glass doors to watch them. The boys are tossing a ball. It rolls over towards the door. One of the boys runs over to catch it. As he reaches for the ball, he looks up and sees Ana-Lena standing on the other side. They study one another. Suddenly one of the other boys calls him.

"Cort, hurry up with the ball! We don't have all day."

The boy slowly backs away with the ball. He is mesmerized. Gladys walks over to Ana-Lena and takes her by the hand.

"Come along, dear. Let's go back upstairs to your father."

Ana-Lena goes with Gladys as the boys resume their play.

The people were all nice but the cafeteria was no fun. She could have had fun if she were allowed to play with the officer's children outside.

When Gladys and Ana-Lena return Anakin presents Gladys with a revised draft. He proudly places it on her desk.

"Gladys, read this and tell me I'm not a genius."

"Okay…Let's have a look." She adjusts her glasses and begins to read. Anakin folds his arms and smiles. Gladys looks above the rims of her glasses, as she is prone to do when reviewing Anakin's work, the expression on her face is usually one of 'You've got to be kidding me.' She looks back at the paper.

'_We have seen the family and friends of the Class of 7012 recognized, as they should be. And then I say greetings to you as well. What a sorry batch you are this year….'_

Gladys looks up at him after reading the opening.

"You got help on this didn't you?"

"It reminds me of a draft of a speech your son wrote."

"Which one?"

"You know very well which one. Li-An is not ready to write any speeches and the other children are much too young."

"Are you accusing me of plagiarism?"

"Are you guilty?"

"That's not the point. I'm not being graded on this."

"It's your integrity at stake here, Anakin."

"Luke wasn't using it."

"It wasn't even a good stolen piece. Why do you think he omitted it?"

He just now realizes he has admitted his guilt. Just as he is about to wave his hand in her face, Gladys stops him.

"Anakin, don't you dare try to do your little mind trick on me. I'm watching you."

"You're no fun, Gladys."

"I may not have powers but neither am I weak-minded. Shame on you for doing this in front of your daughter."

"Ohh…here we go with the guilt."

"Go back in that office and work on a speech I can be proud of. Go on." She gives him a nudge.

"Don't push. Can I have my paper back?'

"No. Go and think about what you're going to say. You're a talented man, Anakin. Use your noggin. There is something up there. I just know it."

She pokes at his temple. Anakin pouts then disappears into his office. Ana-Lena follows. Anakin turns to Gladys."

"Relax. She's only three."

"I'll be four soon, Daddy."

"Ok… four. She doesn't have any speeches for me to plagiarize. She'll be my muse." He ushers his little daughter into the office. "Come on, sweet pea. Help Daddy say something profound to the graduates."

"Okay, Daddy."

The father and daughter disappear behind closed doors.

"I need a pep talk, sweet pea. What do you have for me?"

"I can sing you a song."

"You do your magic, angel."

'May I have your very kind attention  
listen, please, to every word I mention  
While I tell you the way I feel  
While I tell you why you're my ideal dad.

You are an angel without any wings  
A vision so wonderful to see  
Are you the reason my happy heart sings  
But Definitely  
Will I forever be faithful to you  
You're my daddy and you always will be  
Do I adore you, you know that I do  
But Definitely... So Definitely  
You are the Endor moon, the stars, the two suns of Tatooine  
You're every beat of my heart  
You're so smart and debonair  
But if it all turns out  
To be only a beautiful dream  
Let's keep on dreaming  
Millions or billions of stars can't equal your worth  
Your love is a blessing to me  
Are you an armful of heaven here on Coruscant?  
You are... But definitely, you are my dad.

Anakin sits at his desk and gets to work. He lifts Ana-Lena and sits her on the desk. Qui-Gon appears.

'Got homework?'

"Do you believe that? GTG got all judgmental on me."

'_GTG?'_

_"'Guilt Trip Gladys.'_ She says I can't recycle Luke's old speech. He never used that one. I changed the words around."

'_She's trying to motivate you, Ani.'_

"Motivate? I don't need to be motivated. I just need a little inspiration."

"That's what _'motivation_' is, Daddy."

Qui-Gon and Anakin are speechless for a moment.

'_Ani, she's a smart one.'_

Anakin looks at his daughter.

"What? Who taught you that?"

"Yoda taught me. We learned _cinnamons_."

"Yoda? He's the last one to go around teaching kids language and grammar. What else is he teaching you?"

"Antonyms, homonyms and prepositions."

"…and _'synonyms,'_ eh?"

"Yes. He's smart. He read us a book called 'The Secret of Nyms'. Can we get that book, Daddy?"

"I'll call your mother about it."

Qui-Gon smiles broadly.

'_Ani, get her the book. Isabel won't mind.'_

"How do we know if it's a good book for children? He can barely talk."

'_Ask Gladys to look it up on the computer.'_

Ana-Lena taps hr father's arm to get his attention.

"Daddy, Yoda got it on Tammuz-an Dot Com."

"Oh, really? I rarely go on line. How do I find it?" He presses the COM link. Gladys? Get in here. We have a crisis!"

Gladys walks into his office. She only sees Anakin and Ana-Lena at his desk. Qui-Gon is still present. He sits on the credenza behind Anakin's desk Gladys speaks.

"Anakin, have you tried working on your speech?"

"I'm doing it. Calm down. Have you every heard of a book entitled 'The Secret of Nyms'? My daughter needs it."

"Did you check the internet?"

"Gladys, I don't go online."

"Sir, you know you get email right?"

"Uhmmm…sure…"

"Governor Tarkin sends you reports all the time. Are you at least reading your mail from Chancellor Valorum?"

"I read my instant messages on my E phone. Oops. Did I miss anything important?"

"Anakin, you should be reading more than those little pod racing notes from your buddies. You're lucky I am able to manage your inbox from my computer."

"I'm sorry, Gladys. I promise to check them from now on. You're the greatest." He sits back as she logs onto the website for him. She searches for the book name and finds it."

"Wow, Gladys. This is cool."

There are two books in stock. Anakin purchases the book for his daughter then finds a few other things. Gladys leaves him. Qui-Gon speaks.

'_I hope you're good to her on Secretary's Day.' _

"Of course I am. I'll order something online."

Anakin and Qui-Gon see an array of items that sparks their interest. Anakin hears the COM link beep. It is Gladys. Anakin rolls his eyes then presses the speaker button.

"Yes, Gladys?"

"How's your speech coming along?"

Anakin shuffles some papers on his desk as he pretends to search for the speech.

"One moment. Ana-Le, did you use my speech as drawing paper?"

"No Daddy. Here's your paper but it's empty."

Gladys can hear everything over the COM. Anakin is still pretending to search for his paper.

"Thank you, sweet pea…oh, I found it…it fell on the floor."

The voice on the computer website speaks.

'_Mr. Skywalker, you have 10 items in your basket. Would you like to check out now or continue shopping?'_

Gladys' silence is telling. Anakin panics.

"Gladys, I am researching some information to improve my speech…"

Click. Gladys hangs up.

The computer speaks again.

"You have 10…9 seconds to make a selection…8…."

"Daddy, my book."

'…6 seconds…5…4…3…2…1...'

There is a beep. Anakin selects the checkout and purchase option. The computers confirms that the last book is being prepared for shipment to his address. Qui-Gon winks at Ana-Lena.

"Thanks, Daddy."

"You're welcome, sweet pea. Now Daddy has to finish this speech. Go sit at the table over there with Master Qui-Gon." He lifts her from the desk and places her on the floor. She follows Qui-Gon to the table. The play with her Youngling Speak and Spell activity set. Anakin resumes working on his speech. With the computer still on, Anakin does some 'research' to come up with a speech that will surely stir the graduating cadets.

'_Four _(he crosses this out. There are some mathematical calculations scribbled in the margins)_…One score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this galaxy a new republic, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal._

_We were then engaged in a great clone war, testing whether that planet, or any planet, so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We met on a great battlefield of that war._ _We shall fight on the beaches of Kashyyyk again if necessary._ _It was proclaimed on that day that we shall never surrender. This was our finest hour._

_I have a dream, that Sith and Jedi, droids and cyborgs, Gungans and Wookies living together,_ _will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Jedi anthem: "I have not yet begun to fight!" Thank God Almighty, we are the champions and we will rock you!'_

Gladys meets with him once more. She reads over the latest draft.

"Hmmm…and you thought this up yourself?"

"Uh…yes. Do you doubt me again, Gladys? I thought you had faith in me."

Gladys reads through the speech again.

"It's impressive…I just can't help thinking I this speech reminds me of something in my high school history class on ancient worlds. However, I'm probably being overly analytical. The stuff I remember studying was long before you were born, dear. I don't believe they teach old universe history much anymore…except for perhaps at universities. Good work, Anakin."

"Thanks, Gladys." He quickly turns off the computer displaying an ancient history website of famous speeches. Gladys leaves the office to type up his speech. Anakin joins Qui-Gon and Ana-Lena at the conference table in the corner in his office.

Qui-Gon laughs. _'Nice collage of a speech, Ani. Think she'll ever figure it out?'_

"No. She couldn't possibly. What's she going to do, dissect it line by line? It is original…I did put it together myself."

'_I suppose you did…in a manner of speaking.'_

Gladys did not need to extract the speech line by line. Isabel sees the 'speech' on his desk in his study while leaving his mail. She notices the final draft. That evening, after the children are in bed, she sits up with her husband to help him rewrite his speech. He forgot that Isabel studied 'Ancient Distant Galactic Political Thought' as a minor subject in graduate school. He should have pulled out that resume she gave him years ago when he first interviewed her. Who does she think she is the plagiarism police? Smart chicks will always bring a good Sith down.

Here is an excerpt of Anakin's speech to the cadets:

'…_And the Corps of Cadets, I guess they have you right up there [CHEERS]. You're looking good._

_And most especially "For the Core Worlds Sector. [CHEERS]._

_I thank you for this honor. It is a privilege to be here to see all these fresh, eager faces. You will walk in the shadows of some of the greatest leaders of our age. It is a great day to celebrate with the future leaders who will follow in their footsteps. They will help shape the Galaxy's future._

_Now, I know that every cadet has performed exceptionally well. and I assume that none of you has received a demerit or a punishment tour. If you have, we are equipped with the biggest, baddest contingent of battle droids to whip you back into shape. But I am sure, as the Commander-in-Chief, I have weeded out the losers and disappointments, so this probably won't apply to any of you. But on the chance that it might, I hereby grant each of you complete amnesty for any minor conduct offenses. Apologies accepted all around.'_

'_Futurama: Don't Look at Boys'_

In the coming years Ana-Lena will visit the office weekly. The Imperial officers will see her grow up before their eyes. She will blossom into a lovely and intelligent pre-adolescent who still looks up to her father. She will also notice the young cadets who will visit on field trips sponsored by the Imperial Academy. Some of the cadets are accepted into a junior intern program. They will spend time with a designated mentor.

Ever since she was very young, none of the boys dared to speak to her or play in the recreation room.

It was either from fear of the dark lord, shyness, or both.

On the days that Ana-Lena accompanies her father to headquarters, it would become difficult for the boys to avoid looking at her. She will be more beautiful than any of them would ever imagine. Ana-Lena will notice them stealing an occasional quick glance. She will also be quite the coquette. She will at times slow her pace and strays behind her father as the cadets and soldiers salute him.

Her first crush will be on a young Cort Needa. This begins when she drops her doll in the recreation room. He is the only boy with the courage to pick it up and hand it to her. Since they are both quite young at the time, Anakin sees no harm in the two children meeting one another. It will be a decision he will soon regret.

Cort Gunter Needa will be a highly decorated cadet in his teen years and given the rare honor of Senior Imperial Naval Cadet. His responsibilities will be to greet and escort dignitaries and high-ranking officers. On one occasion, he is present during the dedication of the new Imperial Naval Base on the outskirts of Coruscant. High-ranking officials arrive for the opening. Anakin and his family arrive on a private shuttle. Anakin inspects the troops.

Ana-Lena trails behind the entourage as Admiral Piett, the newly appointed administrator of the base, greets her father. Ana-Lena is 15 years old and blossoming into a teen beauty. As her father walks ahead with her mother, she slows down clutching her purse behind her. She feels a certain cadet watching her. She pretends to be unaware.

When she walks to a certain point, her purse 'drops' at his feet but she continues to follow the crowd. He recalls picking up the doll she drops one day on the cafeteria patio years before. He surmises that she is nervous and clumsy around military brass or she is playing a flirtatious game.

A young Cort Needa will be become smitten with her. He is drawn to someone who appears to be beyond his reach. As he starts to reach over to pick it up, Ana-Lena hurries to catch up with her parents. It is too late to hand it to her. Anakin is lead through the corridor and the door closes leaving the cadet holding a pink purse. He sees Ana-Lena turn her head and smiles before the door separates the two. He tries to hide the purse behind him as the other cadets continue to stand at attention.

Anakin and Isabel send their youngest daughter to an exclusive prep school for girls. It will be a decision Anakin makes after a discussion with Yoda. Yoda feels that although Ana-Lena is strong with the force and exhibits great skills to become a Jedi, he believes her heart is not in it. He feels she is doing it to maintain the Skywalker presence within the Jedi Order. Anakin is not too disappointed. He is happy to have her by his side as his muse. She promised him long ago when she was a child that she would always be around to inspire her father. She turns out to be an excellent speechwriter.

Ana-Lena continues her singing. Anakin buys a new grand piano for her. The two of them spend weekends and weekday evenings collaborating in the living room. Anakin encourages her to attend Coruscant University. All of the Skywalker women excel in academia. Anakin is proud that she will follow in the footsteps of her sister and mother to attend this prestigious Ivy League school.

Smart chicks will always bring a good Sith to his knees.

The younger Skywalker boys will follow in Luke's footsteps to become excellent Padawan and Jedi but not without a few detours. Teenager Alex rehearses with four friends greeting the arrival of the Dark Lord with their song _'Smoke on the Lava'. _The band members stop playing for a moment to acknowledge his arrival.

"Hey, Mr. Skywalker! How's it going?"

Anakin closes the door on his speeder and stares at them as he walks around his vehicle. He steps over cables and amplifiers.

"What's this?"

Alex holds his guitar at his side and approaches his father.

"It's our new band, Dad"

"You're scaring the neighbors. Does your mother know you're down here?"

"Yes."

"Where is she?"

"Making lunch. You're home early."

"Yeah, I'm just full of surprises."

Just as he says this, two girls, the same age as Alex and his friends, enter the parking bay from inside the house carrying trays of soft drinks.

"Guys, Mrs. Skywalker has drinks and food upstairs. She said to come up whenever you're ready. Your mother is so cool. Oh, hi, Mr. Skywalker."

"Hello, ladies. Shouldn't you kids be in school?"

"We got out early. Teachers are going on a retreat."

"So the students retreat to my house?" He looks over at Alex.

"Ha-ha! Dad, you're so funny."

One of the band members grabs a soft drink from the tray.

"Alex, your parents are so cool and your mom is super hot!"

Anakin is not laughing.

Li-An's young renegade years give way to a more spiritual place in the Jedi order. Anakin is relieved that an orange prison jumpsuit is not in his son's future. Yoda has foreseen great things for him.

In the wee hours of the morning after staying up late to rewrite his speech, Anakin wakes up from a disturbing dream. Beads of sweat roll down his forehead. He gets out of bed and walks down the hall to the nursery and the adjoining rooms when his children are. Krizstan, Alex, Li-An and Ana-Lena are all sound asleep. He sees the guitar next to Alex's bed and Li-An's Kiddie Sabacc cards on the nightstand. He grabs the cards and guitar and stuffs them in the closet. He had a dream about these things as well. He then lumbers back up the hall and returns to bed.

Anakin is happy with his children.

_To be continued…'Wedding Planners'_


	131. Chapter 131 Wedding Planners

_Chapter 131_

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'_Wedding Planners'_

_Monster Chiller Horror Theatre Presents 'Creating the Bride of Nerfherder' Filmed in IMAX 3-D_

'_Mangia, Mangia'_

'_Great Adventures Youngling Style'_

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Anakin does not tell his wife about the dream he had about the children. She would just worry over him and there were other things going on that are more important: The wedding.

Anakin is reluctant to assist with the writing of the wedding announcement. If he had his choice, the invitation would read as follows:

_**Lord Anakin Skywalker and Mrs. Isabel Skywalker**_

_**Reluctantly request the honour of your presence to the star destroyer-wreck of a wedding of **_

_**Daughter Leia Amidala Skywalker **_

_**to**_

_**Scruffy Nerfherder, cradle-robbing, Sabacc-playing scoundrel, Wookie-hugging What's-his-face Solo**_

_**On this most miserable day of days of my life as the Dark Lord. You're all out to get me! Ahhhhh!**_

He lies in bed with his sad face sinking in the pillow. Everything that he loved and treasured was slipping away like sands in an hourglass. These are the days of his horrible life. His family has fallen off the tracks, his children are defying him, his wife never takes him seriously, his father is still self-absorbed, but now he behaves like a needy old hag. Things used to be so simple before. All of his wholesome pleasures such as spending time with his pals, Boba Fett, Lando, and the occasional pit officer were few and far between. There was no more time for watching pod racing on Sunday afternoons and no more online Sabacc. Now that was quality time well spent! Pity.

He looks over at the clock. Someone speaks to him.

"Good morning, sunshine." Isabel hands him a glass of orange juice.

"Why are you so happy?"

"You're such a wonderful husband and father."

"I'm still not going to see the wedding planner. Stop trying."

"Ani, sweetie…come on…wakey, wakey." She gives him a flirtatious nudge with her hip.

"Come on, 'Bel, I spent an entire weekend with Professor Solo after that dinner earlier this year. I swear that mild mannered professor façade of his is hiding the truth. For all we know, he's some secret agent working for the Intergalactic Intelligence Agency. Hell, I sat through that engagement party a few months ago. Then I had to mingle with the guests? Haven't I seen enough of Leia's flaky friends?"

He sits up and drinks his orange juice.

"Anakin, she's going to be leaving this house soon. I want you to spend time with her. I want you to participate in this wedding."

"I am participating. I'm going to be at the church."

"You know what I'm talking about."

"Why can't she stay six years old? I could handle six. I had the upper hand back then…after I showed her who was boss. Yeah…I got that one under control. That was before the dark times…then _'He'_ showed up…the creature."

Anakin sets the glass on the nightstand. His wife speaks softly as she shows her empathy for him.

"Ohhh, sweetie…it'll be okay." She sits on the bed with her husband and strokes his hair as he whimpers in her arms.

"It's like she's slipping right through my fingers…it's just not fair. I think I'm being reasonable. I never ask much from my children." He sighs heavily.

"There, there…feeling sorry for yourself?"

"Yes." He sniffs and moans.

"Sure you are…well snap out of it!" She stands up allowing his head to fall back on the headboard. "Go take a shower and get dressed. We don't have all day to spend at your pity party."

She leaves the room taking the glass with her.

The telephone rings. The children are in the upstairs playroom Li-An answers the phone in the hall while his parents are in the master bedroom.

"Hello? Oh, Hi, Uncle Ben…yes…they're in the bedroom. Dad's crying again…He says no one understands him and that we're all going to abandon him. Mom says he needs to get over it… We're having a great time. Nana's coming over to baby-sit….Mom says we're a handful and Threepio needs a break. Nana says we have lively spirits…We're going to spend the weekend with them so Daddy can get some rest……Oh…ok…Leia! It's Obi-Wan. He's on the phone and he wants to talk to you!"

Alex runs out into the hallway.

"Oooh! I want to talk to Obi-Wan."

"No, he's talking to me!"

"You talked already."

There is a tug of war with the phone. Leia approaches them and takes over.

"Hey! Hand me the phone, short stuff. Don't just stand here…run along…both of you."

Li-An looks up at her.

"You're supposed to set an example as our big sister. You should be nice to us."

"Go play…I'll be nice to you after the wedding."

"That's months away."

"Exactly. Go on…"

"You've gotten crabby since you got engaged."

"Will you get out of here?" She waits for them to leave. Her tone changes as soon as she speaks into the phone. It is sweet…almost too sweet. "Good morning, Obi-Wan how are you?"

Obi-Wan pauses for a moment before speaking.

"Very well, thank you, Leia."

"Why are you calling me on the house phone? I have a phone in my room."

"Actually, I was trying to get anyone other than Anakin. So…how is our person of the hour?"

"Oh, it's been rough but I'm fine. I picked out my gown. You know they told me that it was going to take time to import the pearls to sew onto the fabric? I told them this is just not acceptable…."

"Uhm…I meant your father."

"Oh…well…he's Daddy…you know…panic attacks and all."

"You do understand he is under a lot of stress?"

"I know the feeling…" She examines her perfectly manicured nails. She had visited the salon the day before. "Some people think the world revolves around them."

"How is he now?"

"I think mom gave him a valium."

"Leia?"

"Yes, Obi-Wan?"

"Take it easy on your father. He's been through so much."

"What about me? He's hot and cold about Han. It's like dealing with someone with a dual personality. I never know what he's going to be like from day to day…it's getting harder to read him lately. He overreacts."

"I think he was just reacting to the issue that Han did not come to him earlier to request your hand in marriage."

"He knew Han was intending to propose to me. Han eventually asked for his blessing."

"Eventually. All I'm saying, Leia, is that you should not to take him for granted. He's sensitive about these things."

"Okay…I'm sorry; Obi-Wan…I'll be more thoughtful about his feelings."

"Okay…we'll chat soon."

"I'll look in on him when I get back from the wedding planner. In the state he's in, I doubt if he will join us."

Obi-Wan is right. Han did not approach Anakin formally for permission to marry Leia. It was not until after his parents returned to Corellia that he stops by when Leia was not at home to speak to Anakin. They are alone in Anakin's study.

"So, Han, what can I do for you today? You've just about taken my daughter. What else do you want?"

"Well, sir. I wanted to apologize again for the way you found out about our engagement. You've been fair with me…most of the time and I owe it to you to acknowledge that…"

"Han, you're rambling…I've got an important video conference coming up. Get to the point before I strangle you."

He impatiently drums his fingers on the desk as his eyes dart back and forth between the clock and a nervous nerfherder.

"I want to humbly ask your permission…retroactively… to marry your daughter…sir."

"That's putting the star cruiser in front of the escape pod, don't you think?"

"I'm doing the best I can…If I could turn back time I would have handled this better."

"And my answer would have been the same as if you had asked me when she was seventeen…but she's not seventeen anymore so what I would have said back then doesn't matter now, does it?"

"Sooo…we have your blessing?"

The light flashes on his desk phone. He stares at it ignoring Han for a moment. He holds up his index finger for the cargo smuggling smart mouth to keep quiet. He picks up the handset and presses the rewind button. It is a voice he had not heard from since earlier that morning.

"_Daddy, I just realized Han is there at the house. Don't you give him a hard time. I swear I'll make the next several months miserable for you. I mean it! Oh, another thing…"_

Anakin quickly erases the message then calmly replaces the receiver on the cradle. He smiles across the desk at Han Solo. Finally he speaks.

"Han, she's all yours. Consider yourself blessed. Now get out. I'm about to join my conference call."

"Thank you, Sir…You're very gracious…I take back all the horrible things I said about you…"

"Solo? Leave before I change my mind."

Han leaves promptly. Anakin Force-slams the door closed. He keys in a code on his data pad. The large plasma screen lights up. The sports announcer speaks into a microphone.

"_Good afternoon, sports fans! It's a beautiful twin sunny day at the Mos Espa Grand Arena Raceway. It's a fast track today; just the sort of course that last years defending champ, Andy Sandage loves. He will face off with Joki Sebulba Jr. the son of legendary racing king Joki Sebulba Sr. He is returning from a two-year hiatus on his home planet of Malastare. Sparks are going to be flying today, folks…"_

As the announcer's voice drowns out, Lando and Boba Fett appear on the holo-conference monitors. Anakin is ready to sit back and relax.

That was then. Anakin's emotions vacillate following that 'meeting' with Han. This is now. 'Now' meaning he has to deal with the repercussions of giving his blessings to the upcoming union between his daughter and her beloved nerfherder and tomb raider fiancé. He has to slide out of bed and take a shower. After the shower, he has to get dressed and join his wife and daughter for a ride into town.

He knew this could not be good if his wife serves him breakfast in bed. He knows what this means, and it's not because he is being rewarded for being great in the sack. He was fed in the bedroom because the two evil women were in a hurry to drag him down to that money burning part of town…Rodia Drive. The land of luxury cars, swimming pools, and movie stars…He owns two of the three…heehaw!

Anakin has plenty of money to spend in this part of town but he has no reason to. He never truly felt comfortable shopping there but this is where all the great shops are. He only shopped on an 'as needed' basis. When his ass needed pants, he was there. Now he has to shop with chicks. This cannot be a good thing. One thing he will not do, he will not hold onto a handbag or a shopping bag.

Isabel smiles sweetly as he joins them at the front door preparing to leave. She gently touches his left cheek with the back of her hand. The soft fragrance of her perfume brings a smile to his face. He cannot stop feeling that he is being treated like a family pet going for a walk. Skippy gets more respect. Well, if they are determined to treat him this way, he will not do any tricks. He is not going out on the town for his health. All this fuss is silly. Engagement parties and weddings. This has to have been a woman's invention. Billions of years ago a caveman grabbed a woman from the stream when she was washing clothes on a rock; he dragged her by the hair and told her what she had to do. She never questioned him and she always obeyed. Now he's got to ask for a little 'affection' when he wants it. Shheesh! The galaxy is going to the bowels of Mustafar in a hand basket.

Isabel's mother has connections through her society group and manages to get the engagement and wedding announcements printed in the coveted Coruscant Times Society page. Anakin pretends he doesn't care about such things but he remembers his wedding announcement in the papers several years ago. He was like a rock star. He looks at the one with Leia and Han. He arranges to have a kiosk set up in the lobby of the Imperial headquarters and paper racks put in the cafeteria and officers lounge near the executive dining room. He leaves a copy opened to the society page on the coffee table outside his office so visitors will be forced to look at it.

He keeps a copy of the society section in his desk and draws bantha horns and blacks out the teeth on the holographs of the other couples. That is always a lot of fun. It's like a weekly activity exercise for him.

Today, he is on a short leash. He dutifully follows the women on their quest for the best wedding. He remains quiets during the first few minutes of the drive. He summons up enough nerve to ask a few pertinent questions.

"So…where are we going?"

"The first stop is to see the wedding coordinator. I told you that this morning."

"First stop? The co-what? You said wedding planner this morning and I don't even know what that is."

Leia speaks up.

"A wedding coordinator, Daddy. They coordinate weddings. They do the same thing."

"What's to coordinate? Isabel and I didn't have a wedding coordinator."

Isabel is losing patience with him.

"Yes we did, Anakin. Leia worked with the coordinator. Remember?"

"Oh…is that how our wedding was put together? Teehee…"

"Anakin, don't do this. It isn't cute."

"Listen, Leia, all you and 'nerf scoundrel' need to do is to pick up a license at Coruscant City Hall to shack up. God knows they need to regulate who gets married these days but it's too late now. Then you could go to Coco Town and hang out at Dex's Diner for the midday lunch special. It's only 7.95 with free beverage refills. Before you know, wham, bam! You're done! That's all the coordinating you'll need. No fuss, no muss." He dusts his hands together.

Leis scowls at he father's attitude about her impending nuptials.

"That's not even remotely funny, Daddy. You're talking about my wedding day. Don't make light of it."

"Relax, pumpkin. You'll have a nice wedding…nothing but the best for my daughters." He rolls his eyes.

"Very funny, Daddy."

He takes a defensive tone trying to show his sincerity but the smirk has not disappeared from his face.

"I'm being serious! What are you two crawling up my back for? I thought this was a happy occasion. Listen, I'm just trying to make the best out of this situation. I want you to remember years from now, that I gave up my day for you to run around town. Do you realize how much work I have piled up on my desk at the office?"

"Oh, sure. I bet there's so much work, Gladys is trying to contact you right now."

Leia and Isabel sit in the speeder waiting for his cell phone to ring. Nothing. They smile to themselves. They know if there were truly an emergency, the red light on his phone would go on. He feels them making a mockery of his job. It is not nice to laugh at the Dark Lord.

They arrive at Rodia Drive. Anakin reluctantly accompanies his wife and daughter to the event planners' boutique. If he had his way, he would sit in the speeder and wait for them to return. He is willing to give them his credit card and let them go crazy but this was not good enough for them. They want him to watch in horror as his money gets tossed away like tissues.

They walk through the door to the reception area. The walls are stark white with gold trim on the moulding and doors. A crystal chandelier hangs high above the gold dome interior. There are panels of gold and white filigree to break up the white walls. The glass top of the dome lets in the sunlight and warms the white walls.

The tall blond receptionist offers them coffee and tea. Anakin wants her to offer them a way out of the boutique. He glances around at the opulence of the place. It seems as if this is just the trap for young brides looking to make their fairytale marriage a reality. This could turn out horribly. He leans over and whispers to his wife.

"What's this guy's name? Maybe I should do the talking after all."

"His name is Roulf."

"_Ralph_?"

"Roulf. He should be out shortly."

Anakin sees things going downhill when a man walks out to greet them. His arms open wide.

Hallo, everybody. I'm Roulf. I hope Ingeborg has offered you _sumpsing_ to drink?"

Isabel answers. Anakin is too busy staring at Roulf's blond highlights and velvet suit with the ruffled poet's shirt. The outfit and hair are so over the top it takes a few moments for Anakin to focus and catch up on the conversation.

"Yes, thank you. We're fine."

Roulf looks at the two ladies.

"So, which of you is der braut?"

Anakin does not understand a word the man is saying. He looks at him.

"The what?"

"Der braut. Which one of you young ladies is getting married?"

Anakin is not impressed. That phony baloney accent does not fool him. Two can play this game…or not. Finally Anakin speaks. His tone is suspicious and icy. He places his hand on Leia's shoulder.

"My daughter Leia is getting married."

Leia sees where this is going and quickly takes over.

"It's my wedding. These are my parents."

Roulf holds his finger to his chin then smiles indicating that the 'puzzle' is all coming together.

"Ahso…you are absolutely gorgeous, Dahling. Look at you…the _blaushing braut_. Is that your natural hair color? And your skin, it is in _parfact_ condition. I can tell you have excellent genes…look at der three of you! You should all be on the cover of a fashion magazine." He takes Leia on his arm and walks with her as if they are taking a Sunday stroll along a promenade. "So tell me, Leia dahling, when are you getting married?"

"August,"

"Oh! That is a _parfact_ time! The wertha is going to be fabulous that month. You are a schmaut girl!"

He shakes his finger at her then winks. You mentioned that you wanted to do a montage of you and your fiance's courtship."

"Yes, I brought pictures." Leia hands Roulf a holograph album of images of herself and of Han. He flips through them.

"Ahso…you even put in some childhood images. Cute, but dahling, I hope this isn't the hairstyle you will have on your wedding day. Those pom-poms are out!" He is looking at an early image of Leia with her trademark double hair buns."

"No, that's not how I will where my hair."

"Oh, sank goodness. You had me frightened for a moment." He flips through the album, stopping when he sees another image. "I take it this is der boyhood holograph of your intended?" He shows her the holograph of Han at age twelve. "Ah! He was a scruffy-looking little kid. Was he a refugee?"

"No. He traveled with his parents. They are archeologists."

"Oh, no wunder. He has a terrible haircut." He closes the album for now. He has seen enough. "So tell me, dahling, what is your color scheme?…I assume you will wear white…aha ha-ha! I make a joke! But seriously, tell me what you envision for your wedding party."

Leia is suddenly a bit flustered and uncharacteristically unsure of herself. She is not sure if he will come back at her with another joke. If he keeps this up, she will have to unleash her father and let the wedding planner fall where he may.

"Well…I-I was thinking about periwinkle or rose pink."

"Achkay…and what about the brautmaids?"

"I was referring to the bridesmaids."

Anakin is about to deck the guy if he make one more unfunny _'schmaut remauk.'_ The facial expression on Anakin's face does not escape the wedding planner. Roulf places his hand on Anakin's chest.

"Dahling, have a sense of _humar_. This is a happy event we're planning, not a funeral. We should all be happy und laughing." He turns to Leia. "Schatzi, your _fahdar_ is so serious."

Leia responds in a calm but measured tone hoping that Roulf will step away before her father does anything rash.

"He's a serious man."

"And he is a _powahrful _man. So strong. His chest is like a brick house. Gives me chills. I love _powahr_."

Anakin loudly clears his throat. Roulf finally removes his hand from Anakin's chest and backs away.

Roulf's assistant Theodore lights candles then presses a button. A burst of fine mist that resembles glitter drifts in the air. Roulf leaves the room for a moment but returns. He brings in a tray with an ice bucket and a bottle of champagne. He remains close by to take notes. Anakin sees some of this strange glittery mist fall onto his jacket. He quickly brushes it off his freshly cleaned suit.

Roulf claps his hands to make an announcement.

"Achkay, everybody! Ambiance! We need wedding ambience! Smell that? Isn't it fabulous? It ist der smell of a wedding day with all der angst, fear und excitement that makes der day so special. I love it! Everyone sit. Tack a deep breath, close your eyes, and relax. Achkay! Open your eyes! Wasn't that marvelous? Listen…have some champagne. Theo, serve them schnell…they must be parched. We need to get into der true wedding spirit. Also, I want you to try this because it is one of der best champagnes. You should have this at your wedding…no pressure…just a suggestion. But when you drink it, you will know me to be right. Achkay? Achkay!"

Everyone sits back on the white velvet sofas and sample the champagne. Roulf, however, is sitting in a regal-looking high back gilded chair with white velvet upholstery decorated with fleur de lis embroidered in gold. The chair reminds Anakin of a throne. Roulf crosses his legs then looks at Anakin who is seated on the sofa to his right.

"Awnakin? Cahn I call you Awnakin?"

Without missing a beat, Anakin holds his champagne flute over the side of the chair arm and looks back at the man without blinking.

"No."

"Achkay!" He turns to his left looking at Leia and Isabel in the other sofa. "He is so _forceful_…I like that in a man. Isabel, you are one lucky woman." He fans himself. "Ah! I'm suddenly getting flushed." He regains his composure. "All better now. Well Leia, dahling, und how many people are we talking about for der guest list?"

"I believe about four to five hundred or so…roughly." Leia sees Anakin's eyes bug out as she says this. Roulf continues.

"Well, that's a substantial number…we cahn figure out der final number later. Let us start with der cack."

Anakin is ready to speak again.

"The what?"

"Der cack…der wedding cack…So let us choose der cack, ahkay?"

Leia looks across at her father. Isabel feels it is time to take over now.

"That's great. We can start with the cake. Leia saw a few of the samples on the tables in the reception room. Leia, which one were you telling me about?"

"Uhm…The one with the Felucia Phaelenopsis orchids and the lemon filling with passion fruit."

"Ah! That is a beautiful cack und so wonderfully delicious. This cack is the favorite of all der royal houses. We just so happen to have a sample for you on der cart. Théo! Théo, do der honors please."

Theodore is just as excited as Roulf. Anakin thinks both men are just too excited for their own good. There is nothing fun or exciting about wedding planning. Theodore continues to smile.

"Oh of course. I love doing this. It is so much fun!"

Theodore is just a bit too happy so early in the day according to Anakin. His name is another one that does not sound the way it is spelled or spelled the way it sounds. This guy calls himself 'Théo' with a silent _'h'_. Anakin thinks of a song with a similar beginning: _'Te-O…Te-O…Daylight come and me Juan go home.'_ He laughs to himself.

Théo serves each person gets a dessert plate. They also get to sample a few other flavors. Isabel confers with Leia.

"Perhaps you should bring Han here to try this before you decide."

"He has been so busy lately. He trusts me to make the final decision."

Anakin looks at this daughter.

"He'll be the first one to complain then you'll feel guilty."

Isabel supports Anakin's comment.

"Do it when you select your china patterns. This is for the two of you after all, Leia."

"I know. You're right. I just wanted the two of you to be with me for this."

"We're more than happy to support you in this."

"It is a beautiful cake."

The wedding coordinator smiles.

"Leia, you come und visit us as often as you like. Bring your handsome groom."

Anakin looks at the engraved card with the description of each cake. On the back of the card is a number. He is about to swallow a bite of the sample when he reads it.

"Is this the code number on the back? 8250?"

Roulf lets out a lively laugh.

"Oh, Mr. Skywalker, you are one funny guy! That ist der price! Ha ha-ha!"

Anakin can barely understand this guy but he knows when he is being laughed at. Isabel can sense he husband's anger welling up inside him. Leia cannot understand why he cannot just relax. She feels him having the beginning of an anxiety attack. If he makes a scene, she will never forgive him. Isabel asks Roulf and his assistant for a few moments alone. When the two men leave the room, Isabel moves to the settee where her husband is sitting.

"Anakin, sweetie, what is it?"

"Does all of this seem just a bit over the top to you?"

"Well, Anakin, it is a wedding. They are going to make everything beautiful. This place has an excellent reputation. If you want us to leave…"

"No…no…you and Leia seem to know what you're doing."

Leia walks over to her father.

"I know this is uncomfortable for you, Daddy but I respect your opinion. Do you think it's too extravagant?"

"No…not at all. Let's get him back in here." Anakin feels defeated. Someone has the higher ground and it is not him.

Roulf and Theodore return. They enter the room like a vaudeville act.

"Here we are!"

"We'll take the cake."

"Excellent! Mr. Skywalker, I assure you this wedding will go parfactly. I bet my life on it. Leia und I will go over der theme, and finalize the color scheme. You just sit back und relax. This is going to be fabulous!"

Anakin never had an issue with the cost. He could well afford to give his daughter the wedding of her dreams three times over. But the more they discussed multi-tiered wedding cakes, color schemes, china patterns, and flowers, the reality started to set in…the reality that he was losing his daughter. It seemed like only yesterday that he had gotten custody of her after missing out on a good portion of her first few years of life. Now he is about to spend thousands of credits to give her up all over again. It just isn't fair. So now, he has to put on a happy face for the next few months, and spend almost 350 credits per person to sit at a banquet hall and watch people he barely knows feast on Kamino caviar and drink fine Corellian Champagne…and let's not forget the cake at 15 credits per slice.

Anakin signs the credit card receipt at the desk. He flashes a grin to his wife and daughter. The smile is saying: _"See? I'm participating…I'm being a team player."_

What he is feeling inside is a different thing: _"I was dragged here against my will." _He wants to slip a note to the blond receptionist sitting behind the desk:

"_Help me."_ She probably would not understand a thing he has to say. All he recalls her saying since their arrival was:_ '__Goddag__på__ dig!'_

They are finally released from 'surreal world.' Anakin drops the women off at the bridal salon. Leia goes for her wedding gown fitting. It would be plain cruel to make him sit in this place. Anakin drives to the office.

Gladys looks up as he walks through the door.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Skywalker."

"Yes, it is morning, Gladys. We've got five minutes of morning left. It had better be a good five minutes."

"How did the appointment with the wedding planner go?"

"I'm not sure but I feel violated somehow."

"Luke called, and I have messages from Governor Tarkin, Admirals Motti, and Ozzel."

He grabs the messages from her and continues towards his office.

"Thanks."

"I'll bring you a nice pot of tea."

As soon as the door closes behind him, an old friend appears.

'_Rough morning, Ani?'_

"You have no idea."

'_Well, you only have to do this one more time and then you're free as a bird.'_

"To do what? These women are killing me, Qui-Gon."

'_Make the best of it, Ani.'_

"Why does everything have to change?"

'_That is what life is all about, Ani, change. Isabel is steering you in the right direction but you're fighting it.'_

"It's not fun. That wedding coordinator they hired and his _'cack-a-do' _ideas drove me up the wall. Leia and Isabel are mesmerized by this circus clown. You should see them falling all over his every word. They can't possibly understand what he's saying. Jar-Jar and Yoda are more articulate than he is. I'll tell you one thing…this wedding planning crap is a nightmare and It's only started today."

'_And years from now you'll be able to say you helped plan your daughter's wedding. You wanted to be involved in your children's lives. Well, here you are.'_

"It feels more like a punishment. What have I ever done wrong in my life?"

'_You really want me to answer that?'_

"No."

Gladys knocks then enters the office with the tea service His mother-in-law gave this to him as a wedding gift.

"Here I am, dear. Sorry for the delay. That was Governor Tarkin again. I told him you were busy catching up. Here is your tea. You seem a bit tense today. This will relax you. I know you have to meditate."

"Thanks, Gladys. Tell the governor I will be able to see him in fifteen minutes."

"You seem to feel better after talking to yourself for awhile, don't you?"

"What's the score?"

"I'll get an update for you straight away, sir."

Gladys leaves closing the door behind her. Qui-Gon waits for the door to close.

'_She's an amazing woman.'_

"Yes, she is. I don't know where I would be without her."

'_So, how does she like the gift we bought for her online?'_

"We? I believe I was the one who gave her the gift."

'_I was the one who told you it looked cool.'_

"She's getting good use out of it." He presses the COM link and speaks into it. "Gladys, do you have the results yet"

"Yes sir…Alderaan 16 **-** Coruscant 38."

"Thank you, Gladys."

"You're welcome, sir."

He releases the COM link button the types out a message on his data pad. He has a sly grin on his face.

"_Lando, you sucker! I win again! Call me so I can gloat."_

Anakin receives an Instant Message reply:

"_Anakin, can't talk…wife in room. Will get back to you ASAP."_

"_LOL…Let me know when you make bail"_

"_TTYL"_

Anakin takes a few moments to figure out the text message reply. After signing off Anakin laughs out loud.

Qui-Gon speaks while glancing over the copy of the wedding planner brochure.

'_Ani, you seem to be benefiting from the gift more than she is.'_

"No…she benefits from it. She doesn't have to worry about missing the game. It's right there at her fingertips."

'_A desktop plasma screen with 24 hour satellite sports. That's commendable…always thinking of others. So…look at all of these menu choices…Lobster Bisellian…Naboo Oysters Casino…Shaak Veal Medallions…swanky…How many people are coming to this event?'_

"Too many."

'I'm invited, right?'

"When have you not been invited?"

'Just checking…

The COM link lights up.

"Yes, Gladys?"

"Governor Tarkin is here."

"Send him in."

Qui-Gon starts to hide then remembers that Tarkin will never see him. He sits in one of the leather chairs facing Anakin's desk. Anakin stands as Gladys opens the door for Tarkin. The gaunt governor steps forward just as the door closes behind him.

"Good afternoon, Governor. I hope I have not kept you too long."

"No. I just arrived."

"Please, sit."

"Thank you. I understand preparations are underway for the wedding of your daughter Leia."

"Yes…yes. She and Mr. Solo have set a date. So, you stated to my secretary that you needed to discuss some matters with me concerning the senate."

"Yes…As you know, His Excellency the Supreme Chancellor wishes to address the Imperial Senate to propose an amendment to the constitution to limit the defense spending at peace time."

Qui-Gon looks in the mirror to see if the Governor's image casts a reflection. Anakin sees the Force ghost moving around the room. Qui-Gon uses both index fingers and holds them against his mouth to imitate fangs. Anakin tries to ignore him while listening to the gaunt, humorless officer. Anakin is not really listening anyway. He has too much on his mind. His daughter is going to be married in a few months. Whatever he said to Tarkin left the officer puzzled after leaving the office.

Anakin leans back in his chair massaging his temples when the COM link lights up again. He knows who it is. Just when he is about to relax.

"Send him in, Gladys."

The door swings open. A lock of blond hair pokes inside the doorway.

"Hey, Dad…got a minute?"

"Is that how you're going to conduct our conversation...In the doorway?"

"Uhm…no." Luke enters the office.

"What can I do for you?"

"Mom says I should stop by to see you."

"Okay…you see me…now what?"

"Uhm…Leia and Mom want to know what you're going to do about Palps."

"You mean do we invite him or lock him up until the reception is over?"

"I don't believe they want you to go to such drastic means...or maybe they do…"

"Well, I'm sorry to disappoint everyone but we have to invite him."

"Leia is freaking out. She called me from the bridal salon to ask what you are going to do."

"Like what?"

"Drugs, restraints…gee, Dad, I don't know. I can't get dragged into this. He thinks I'm turning against him as it is."

"Were you ever for him?"

"Well…no…not really."

"Then how can you turn against him? Relax. I'll take care of the old buzzard."

"I hope so. Leia's going to be mad as hell if we don't do something. Do you want to deal with her in the coming months? It's her or Palps. Your choice."

"You're right. What's Lara's number. Her husband's a big shot doctor. I'm sure he has something in that black bag of his for emergencies such as this."

"Good thinking, Dad."

"And you kids think I'm not smart."

"We never said that."

"I'm not as flaky as some people say. I'm smart and I command respect."

"Dad? No one said a thing about you being smart. The issue never came up so chill out, ok?"

"Oh…So…you got your tux yet for the Princess nerfherder catastrophe?"

"All the guys are going next week to get fitted. What are you wearing?"

"Black."

"I believe all the guys will be wearing black, dad."

"My wedding tux is still in great shape…"

"Dad, this is Leia's wedding. I would think you would get a new suit made."

"What are you going to do, run and tell your mother?"

"She's going to know you're wearing it when she sees you coming down the aisle with Leia."

"Don't judge me."

"Dad, what's the big deal? Why are you dragging your feet on this?"

Qui-Gon pops back in. He sits in the leather armchair. Anakin gives him a dirty look.

"Where the hell have you been? You're supposed to be the voice of reason I'm supposed to be listening to."

'_You never listen…hey, Luke, how are you, kid?'_

"Hello, Qui-Gon."

'_Hey, Ani, I followed Tarkin back to his office. It's really dark in there. What's the deal?'_

"I don't know…maybe he has a skin condition…I'm not his crypt keeper."

Luke laughs.

"He's got more than a skin condition according to Callista. She should know…she interned for him."

"Leave the guy alone, Luke…so what's this about your cousin coming up to visit?"

"Pooja is coming up to get fitted for her bridesmaid's dress. She's bringing her daughter. Mom knows about it. They'll be staying until after the wedding."

"At the house?"

Qui-Gon interrupts.

'_Is she the hot hippie chick? Cool…I like her.'_

Luke continues.

"Mom likes the idea. She'll have adult company while her daughter can play with Ana-Lena and the boys."

"Oh…okay."

"So, Dad, are you coming with us next week to get fitted for a new suit?"

"Yeah…maybe…if I'm not too busy…I'll let you know…"

Qui-Gon looks at Luke who is becoming frustrated with his father.

'_Don't worry, Luke. I'll get him there.'_

"Thanks."

Anakin scribbles some notes on his data pad.

"I'll check my calendar…I might have to go to Bespin to take care of some business."

"Bespin? Well…you want me to go with you?"

"No…we always get into a fight when we go there. I can go by myself."

"All I asked you that time was if you were on official business. Your eyes got all crazy and then you started whaling on me. You're not going to that Sabacc Championship are you?"

"Don't be silly. Why would I do what your mother told me not to do?"

"Yeah…about that…"

"Don't get on my case, Luke. First my wife then Leia, and now you. The only one in this family who has faith in me is your little sister Ana-Lena."

"Blind faith…poor kid. She still thinks you're a god."

"I know! Isn't she cute? In time, Kris will also come to know what a joy it is to have a father like me. It looks promising. Leia is leaving home and sooner or later, you'll be out of the house. I'll have An-Lena to boost my spirits."

Qui-Gon smiles proudly.

'_She's going to be a smart one.'_

The next day, Leia is reunited with Han after his return from his trip to Corellia. They enjoy a romantic walk along the promenade near the Galaxies Opera House after she picks him up at the spaceport.

"So…you missed me, hey?"

"Oh, Han, you know I did. You were away for so long. You got my letters?"

"Yes…I was the only one who got mail on a daily basis."

"Oh, Han, there were times when I wanted you with me while I have been planning this wedding."

"Well, I'm here now. I'm ready to do anything you ask. How was your Dad with the wedding planner?"

"Oh…he was a real trooper…you should have seen him, Han…he couldn't help enough."

"Hmmm…I'm shocked. I would have thought he would have been kicking and screaming his way there."

"Nooo…not at all."

None of this is true off course but Leia figures Han is so competitive that he would want to one up the Dark Lord. Old habits die hard where the scruffy nerfherder is concerned. This gives Leia the opportunity to start working on Han right now.

The two go up to his apartment where Leia promptly pulls out her notes and gets to work. She sits at the table while Han is hanging up his jacket.

"Han, I don't have the complete list of your groomsmen."

Han is facing the closet mirror. He was hoping this topic of discussion would not come up so soon. Han takes a deep breath then continues putting away the things from his trip.

"Uhmmm…it's not very long…it's just Lando, Luke, Kyp…" His voice gradually fades out. "…and _Chewie's my best man_…"

"Who? You're choosing who?"

"…Uh…Chewie…"

Han should have covered his ears for the next response.

"Chewie? You're inviting Chewie to be in the wedding party?"

"Leia…relax…I'll have him ready to present to your society friends…"

"Han! No…no…no! I can't believe this. This cannot be happening to me!" She holds her forehead then smoothes her hair back with her palms. She then places her hands on her hips and stares at him.

"I can't believe you're actually thinking of putting him in our wedding party. You must be out of your mind."

"He's a loyal friend. I asked him to be my best man and that's, that!"

"I think I'm going to faint."

"Oh stop the hysterics, your worship. This is my wedding too, you know!"

"Is that your final answer?"

"That's my final answer, your highness."

"Han, you're not the man I thought you were."

"That's right, I'm no pushover. No one decides my fate"

"Well then, I suppose there's nothing else to say!"

"Not from me there isn't, sister!"

Late that evening Anakin is enjoying a peaceful moment on the sofa in the living room. The younger Skywalker siblings are fast asleep in the nursery upstairs. Isabel is preparing a late night cocktail for him. The peaceful moment screeches to a halt when the front door opens and is force-slammed closed as the 'bridezilla' enters. Windows shake. Isabel is preparing tea when she hears Leia come home.

"Leia, you're home. How was your evening?" She picks up the cocktail to deliver to her husband but stops to listen to Leia's horrific experience.

"It was awful! I never want to see that over-confident oaf ever again."

"You don't mean that. What happened?"

"He did an unforgivable and selfish thing. It doesn't matter anymore. The wedding is off."

"You don't mean that."

"Oh, yes I do."

After comforting Leia, Isabel walks over to shake Anakin who was about to doze off for a nap. He was wide-awake moments before Leia arrived home but he thinks it is better if he pretends to be asleep.

"Anakin…sweetie…wake up. Leia is having a crisis."

Anakin opens one eye to see if it is worth him getting up for this.

"Leia, sweet pea, what happened?"

"It was just awful, Daddy. I tried to be fair but he wouldn't listen to reason."

Anakin props himself up in the sofa. All hopes of a relaxing evening are dashed.

"Oh, sweet pea, Daddy's so sorry you had a bad evening. Isabel, where's my drink…I think I'm going to need it now."

"Anakin, you sit up and listen to your daughter. This is awful what has happened. She's simply devastated."

Leia approaches her father.

"Daddy, the wedding is off."

He almost cracks a smile then remembers he has to portray the sympathetic father. He feigns shock.

"Oh…oh wow…you okay?"

"I'll be fine." She dabs her tears with a tissue Isabel hands to her. Anakin looks at his wife.

"See? You dragged me off to see that garbled-mouth wedding coordinator 'Franzenheimer Rowf,' or whatever his name was, for nothing. I could have been home relaxing…or at work…So, Leia, I suppose you'll want an _'I told you so' _from your daddy."

"Try not to shed too many crocodile tears, Daddy; you'll ruin your nice blue shirt."

"Honey, trust me…I really feel your pain right now. Come on…come over here and sit on Daddy's lap so I can give you a warm fatherly hug and make all the nerfherder-inflicted pain go away. Oh, grab that drink from your mother before the ice melts."

He opens his arms. Leia hesitates for a moment, hands him his drink then falls into his arms crying. Anakin holds her close and gently strokes her hair and pats her on the back between sips from his cocktail glass. Isabel scowls at him. He scowls back. She leaves the room. He continues to 'console' his eldest daughter.

"There, there…yes, I know…life isn't fair…my little princess was hurt. So, what dastardly thing did he say and do? If I know Solo, he backs up his words with action. I kind of admire that in the pirate…at least he is committed."

"Oh, Daddy! You just don't understand…It was so ugly…so horrible…He told me things…You know what he told me that ruined everything?"

"What did he say, baby doll?"

"He told me he was going to make a Wookie his best man at our wedding!"

She resumes bawling her eyes out as she rests her head on her father's shoulder. Isabel returns holding her teacup to her lips. Anakin looks over his daughter's shoulder at his wife. He makes a face. Isabel folds her arms waiting for him to wipe that smirk off of his face. This news is making him too happy. He then changes to his _'appalled because my daughter's honor has been attacked'_ face. He would jump up and do his 'victory dance' but Leia is leaning on his leg, and it is starting to fall asleep. He can feel the tingling sensation in every muscle. Suffice it to say, there will be no wedding. No wedding equals zero wedding planners. No planners means no guest list with 550 people he barely knows and does not like, which gives him a grand total of a million credits savings for his Dark Lordship. Millions of extra credits equal more 'play money' for Sabacc and pod race off-track betting. He'll have his daughter home again.

Leia continues to hold onto her father as if she will never let him go. Anakin tries to take another sip from his glass. He looks at his wife again. He wishes she would stop giving him that 'look.' Can't the Lord of the Sith look happy for once? Just because he is not portraying the compassionate father to his distraught first daughter does not give his wife the right to judge him.

The doorbell rings. Isabel puts down her teacup and goes to answer the door. Anakin is still playing 'Darth Vader of the Jedi Bride' He figures he should pump his daughter for a detailed explanation for the sudden cancellation of the impending nuptials.

"So, sweet pea, that's it? Is that all there is to this story?"

Leia wipes away a stray tear and glances at her father before resting her head on his shoulder again.

"Well…sot of…I was so upset, Daddy…he really got the best of me…I…I sort of lost control."

"What do you mean…_'lost control'_? What did you do?"

Just as he awaits an answer from his petite flower of a daughter, he hears a horrifying cry from the foyer. It is his wife.

"Han! What happened? You poor thing! You should see a doctor. Your throat is black and blue…it's bruised. Oh dear. Come inside and lie down. I'll get a cold compress."

She makes Han relax on the chaise in the foyer. Anakin looks at his daughter. By the sound from his wife, something is terribly wrong.

"Damn, Leia, what did you do?"

Leia attempts to explain herself. Anakin has never seen his daughter react so awkwardly as she is now.

"Well…I know anger is a path to the dark side, Daddy, but he had it coming!"

Han gets up and makes his way to the living room. He holds a compress to his neck. The injured 'nerfherder' speaks with some difficulty.

"Mr., Skywalker, I need to speak to Leia."

"Solo, haven't you had enough?"

Han ignores him. He sees Leia. He eyes are red from crying. He staggers over in her general direction.

"Leia, I want to apologize. I should have considered your feelings."

Leia slides off of her father's lap. Anakin holds onto his drink. Leia walks over to Han.

"Oh, Han, I don't want us to fight. I'm so sorry I got upset."

"No, it was my fault…I was being selfish. Listen, I'll talk to Chewie. He'll understand…"

"No…no…He's your friend. You have every right to choose who your best man will be."

Anakin sits upright on the sofa. He needs a stronger drink after listening to this 'kiss and make up' dribble.

"Hey, hey hey! Are you two getting married after all of this?"

"Yes, Daddy."

"Whoa…wait a minute. What about standing your ground and wanting to be heard? What happed to that?"

"Daddy, there is room for compromise…"

"Hell no! Wait an _'effing'_ minute. Are you telling me we're still going to have a Wookie at the wedding? I hope he doesn't start that howling noise in the church. Oh, Lord, kill me now."

Han speaks again. His voice is raspy by better than when he first started speaking.

"Listen, Mr. 'S', I'll brief Chewie on protocol."

"Protocol is the least of the problems here. He's got to put some clothes on first. I refuse to have him mingling through the throngs of wedding guests wearing nothing but the fur on his back. He's got to get shaven or go to the dog groomer or something. I am not having that walking carpet at this wedding. I don't want guests gagging on strands of Wookie hair as they eat a canapé."

Leia dismisses her father's remarks.

"Daddy, relax…we'll work something out. Come on, Han. I'll walk you to the door."

Anakin calls out to Han.

"Hey, Solo, your voice is sort of raspy. You should take a couple of throat lozenges. It'll clear that right up."

Leia takes Han by the arm and walks him to his speeder. They kiss in the driveway. The quiet evening at home comes too late for the Dark Lord. Leia returns inside the house and kisses Isabel and her father before she goes upstairs to bed. As she ascends the staircase, it is as if each step is a fluffy pink cloud. She is blissful as she smiles on her way up to her room. She is in-love again. Anakin is fuming. He looks at his wife.

"What just happened here?"

"The wedding is back on. This is wonderful. Everything has worked out."

Anakin points an accusing finger at his wife.

"You know this is your fault."

"What?"

"Everything was going just fine until you ruined it."

"What did I do?"

"You gave him first-aid for starters…then you offer the man a drink!"

"I gave him an aspirin and a glass of water."

"Now I'm going to have to sit in that church and watch a big furry Wookie stand at the altar as my little girl gets married."

"Anakin, I thought you would be happy to see your daughter smiling again."

"Well, of course I want to see her happy." He lets out a heavy sigh. "Well, it was sort of funny to see him looking helpless and broken."

"Anakin, shame on you. Han could have been killed. It would have been a horrible."

"Yes, I suppose. Still…it was cool to see that bruiser she gave him. That's my girl…chokes with conviction…there's no holding back with her."

"This evening could have been a disaster."

"Yes…I suppose so…and you know… getting blood stains out of a white carpet can be a bitch…or so I've been told. But I'm glad he didn't pass out here. I don't need the Coruscant Police traipsing through our house till the wee hours of the morning. Oh, 'Bel, crack a smile. I'm joking. You have no sense of humor. Come over here and rub my feet." He pats his hand on the ottoman where his feet are propped up ready for treatment..

"I'm going up to bed."

"Alright…now we're talking."

"To sleep, Anakin."

"You need some energy pills. You're always tired."

"We have four small children. You spend all day with them for once."

"Hey, I bring them to the office with me."

"Yes, and you hand them over to Gladys. She's not your personal babysitter."

"Gladys adores the children. I love my kids."

"Well, you'll have plenty of time to love them in the next several days. There's a change of plan. You have to get up early tomorrow because we're going to Ewokland. It's going to be their last trip before the wedding. I thought it would be nice to spend some quality time with them."

"How come no one's thinking about me? What about my needs?"

"Believe me, Anakin, everyone is thinking about you. And tomorrow, you _'need'_ to get up early. Come on, handsome! Let's call it a night."

The next morning at dawn, Anakin loads the ship for the family trip. Isabel's parents come along as well as old Palpatine. The old man complained to Anakin on many occasions that he never gets to travel with the tots and he feels cheated when Isabel's parents get to spend so much time with them. Anakin reluctantly invites the old buzzard to join them. Isabel's parents drive by his retirement condo on this morning to pick him up. He is excited about the journey.

Everyone boards the ship. The children are placed in the sleeping cabin so they will get their full night's sleep once they arrive, Anakin recalls doing this with the twins years ago with great success, but with four little ones, it is a challenge. Baby Kris is not to sleep through the night. There is a two-hour break between two and four o'clock before he falls back to sleep. Alex tends to wake up before dawn and slip into bed with his parents. Li-An and Ana-Lena sleep like Mustafar lava rocks through the night. When they do wake up, everyone knows it.

The ship is on autopilot three hours into the flight. The adults sit in the galley enjoying a light brunch and chatting. Ana-Lena and Alex are jumping on the cabin beds. Li-An is looking out of the window at a star storm occurring in the distance. Anakin can hear the children laughing. He Force-speaks to them.

"_I hope no one is jumping on the beds."_

The laughing and playful chatter stops. Anakin can still hear them. It is the sound of muffled giggles. Suddenly there is crying. Anakin hurries to the room. Ana-Lena has fallen from one of the beds. Alex is crying because he thinks he is in trouble. He tosses a pillow at his sister as she was leaping to the next bed. He carries his daughter to the galley and makes the other two follow. He is hoping that the baby continues to sleep.

The ship arrives early afternoon Endor time. Anakin is glad that the grandparents have come along. This trip promises to be a challenge. This is the first long trip he has taken with the family without the twins. Leia stays home to continue making her wedding plans and Luke has two Padawan to mentor. He also spends some time with Mara at the 'House of Jade.' Mara's parents are having a big Sunday dinner.

Maggie Jade prepares Shaak Parmesan, Tatooine broccoli rabe, Anchorhead fava beans, spaghetti with Naboo clam sauce, and tons of other food. The usual cast of characters is present. All eyes are on him. He feels like the feeding trough for a Sarlacc. Maggie seats Luke at the head of the table opposite Vic Jade, Mara's father. Maggie gently pats Luke on the shoulder. Uncle Paulie fills Luke's wine glass.

"Here, Luco, have some nice chiani…"

"Thank you, sir."

Uncle Paulie sets the wine bottle between his plate and Luke's glass. Luke reads the label to keep from making eye contact with the man. The label on the bottle reads Mon Calamari Chianti Classico. The man has yet to pronounce properly the name of any of the wines he serves.

"So…how's it feel to sit at the head of the table?"

"Much like home…but not as many people…but this is an honor…I "

Maggie Jade takes a seat to his left.

"Don't mind Paulie, Luke honey. So…Mara tells me your sister is getting married in a few months."

"Yes, ma'm."

"She's having a big wedding, isn't she?"

"That's what my dad is afraid of."

"I'm sure it will be beautiful. We're going to give Mara a big wedding when her turn comes."

Uncle Paulie and Vic Jade focus their eyes on Luke as he starts to chew his food. Luke feels a wave of discomfort rising inside him. The floret of the broccoli rabe sits deep in the corner of his mouth. The flavors of the lemon, olive oil and garlic sink into the taste buds of his tongue. How does he get out of this awkward situation? All Luke can think to say is not exactly what 'the family' expects to hear.

"Oh…cool."

The table becomes quiet. Mara concentrates on cutting up the meat on her plate. An older woman makes her way around the table with a platter of deviled duck eggs. Luke looks up at her. She tries to pile more food on his plate.

"Maggie, why this boy so thin? He needs some good home-style cooking. Eat, eat! Don't be a stranger."

"Mama Carmella, he's fine, go serve someone else at the table. Frankie's plate is empty. Fill his plate up. Luke knows he's like family." She strokes Luke's hair. Luke feels terribly awkward now.

After dinner Vic Jade, Uncle Paulie, Cousin Frankie, and Joey Bagadonats lead Luke out of the dining room for a 'chat'. They wind up in the family room. Luke recalls being in this room before with the same cast of characters pouring over him like a lens of a microscope. Vic Jade pats Luke on the back and nods for him to sit.

"Luke, have a seat."

"Uhm… thanks, sir."

"You like coming here don't you?"

"Sure…everyone here has been real nice."

"You like my little Mara?"

"Uhm…sure I do…she's swell." Luke hears himself speak. He does not recall ever using the word 'swell' in conversation unless it involves an eye or jaw injury. Maybe he foresees one of these injuries coming on during this conversation with _'da family'_. He is beginning to think he should have taken a late shuttle to Ewokland to join in on some wholesome Skywalker fun. The 'circle of men' is still there. Uncle Paulie puffs on a cigar and leans over, almost cornering him.

"So, Luca, what are your plans for the future?"

"Uhm…well…I plan do be a great Jedi…I mean, I'm good but Master Yoda says I need to stay humble."

"You think our Mara is a good Jedi?"

"Sure, she's doing a great job. Everyone likes her."

"She thinks you're a decent guy. She talks about youze all the time. You ever consider working for the family?"

"What family?"

"Tantive IV Contractors. Frankly, we could use someone like you. You got certain connections that would be advantageous to both of us."

"Oh…well…that's a generous offer, sir but I'm committed to the Jedi Order."

"You mean they own you? What are the benefits?"

"Great healthcare and room for career advancement."

"It don't pay much. Mara's only staying for one reason…you. She needs to look at her future, not waste her time. "

"Oh…really? I thought she liked being a Jedi."

"She's got the talent but she needs to make sure there's some sort of payback…now, if you come work for the family, she can give up the Jedi nonsense."

"Did you ask her?"

"She ain't gonna tell us. If you join us, she'll have no choice but to follow."

"I'm flattered by your offer but I won't leave the Jedi Order."

"Fat Bantha is prepared to make you an offer you can't refuse…"

The door opens. Maggie Jade stands in the doorway.

"Luke, honey, come with me."

Uncle Paulie protests.

"Maggie, we're talking to the young fella here."

"Not anymore, you're not. Luke, come on."

Maggie leads Luke out of the room. Paulie and Joe complain then turn on Vic Jade.

"Vic, how come you can't put your foot down? You let her talk to you around like that? Who's the boss in your family? And you shoulda said something to the kid. Who does he think he is? All high and mighty like we ain't good enough for him."

"You insulted him a little bit. You got a little bit out of order yourself."

"I didn't insult him."

"I'm sorry. You insulted him a little bit."

"Oh, please…I ain't do nuttin' to the kid. Hey Frankie, go get me a beer."

Maggie walks Luke to the door.

"Luke, sweetie, I apologize for what went on back there. They're being a bunch of knuckleheads. You follow your heart, honey."

"Thanks for dinner, Mrs. Jade."

"You're welcome here any time, Luke. Mara's waiting on the patio for you."

Luke waits for her to go inside before he walks up to Mara. She looks up at the stars.

"You must think my family is insane."

"No…not at all. You've seen my family."

"It's okay if you do. All this wedding talk got them all worked up. They're worried about me. They think I might wind up with some jerk. They never liked Craul when he used to hang around. They tolerated him because they thought he was dangerous and crazy. You're like a breath of fresh air to them. Uncle Paulie means well…he just has trouble expressing himself effectively."

"Oh, I think he was quite effective in expressing himself."

"He's heavy-handed…you can say it."

"Mara, you know I really care about you…I love you…you're great…"

"But you're not ready to get married. Do you still like Callista?"

"I do…but…this has nothing to do with her. I enjoy spending time with you but I'm not ready for marriage…not right now. When and if the time comes…we'll know."

"My relatives can be scary, I apologize for them."

"No need for an apology." Luke takes her hand in his as they look out at the city skyline.

"I guess I'm going to have to start beating you up again, Lu-Lu." She smiles then lifts her leg behind her and kicks Luke on the bum with her foot.

Back on Endor, it is 'Grandparent's Day' at the park. Anakin and Isabel sit on one of the benches with the baby while her parents take Alex and Ana-Lena on the Ewok Giant Rotating Teacup ride. Li-An does not want to go on this ride because he thinks it is for babies. Palpatine agrees to seek out a fun ride for them to take.

"Dad, I don't want to go on the teacups."

Anakin pretends not to realize his son is no longer a pre-schooler and moving past his Youngling stage.

"You always liked the teacups."

"Yeah, when I was four."

Palpatine studies the giant park ride map near their bench.

"Well, Li-An, what would you like to try? I'll go with you."

"Really? You're not going to try to kidnap me again are you?"

"Of course not. I'll be happy to accompany you. There are lots of nice rides here. The Ewok carousel, the Youngling go-carts…"

Li-An rolls his eyes.

"You've got to be kidding me, right? It's for babies, scaredy-cats, and old people."

"We could try something a bit more challenging. After all, you are a sophisticated Youngling."

"Junior Padawan."

"I stand corrected." He gently pats the boy on the head.

Li-An locates something on the map that he might like.

"Oooh, the Ewok Village Super Sky Ride…cool!"

Anakin overhears him.

"That ride is for 10 years and over."

"But, Dad!"

"No!"

"Wow! Imperial Speeder Bike Hijack Ride! Now this is cool."

Anakin walks over to the map.

"I'm sure you can read, Li-An…it's for ages 12 and up."

"Geez, Dad! What's left?"

"You've got to be joking me! There are plenty of rides. Look at this one on the map…Ewok Youngling Storybook Ride. It's a simulator."

"But you don't really go anywhere. You're stuck in a room with fake trees and a data screen."

"There's the Endor Village Nature walk…that goes somewhere. I'll go with you."

Li-An thinks for a moment then has an idea. He is getting good at hiding his thoughts from his father when he is desperate.

"Ohh…alright, Dad, I'll settle for the Youngling Storybook Ride."

"Okay. Let's go."

"It's a low intensity ride, Dad. Palps can go with me. He's old so it won't upset his stomach. Besides…" He pulls his father close so he can whisper. "He hasn't gone on a ride alone with any of us. It'll be his big test to see if he does a crappy job or not."

"Li, I'm very proud of you son. You're demonstrating a maturity beyond your years. Go on. Have a good time."

Li-An looks up at Palpatine and smiles.

"Come on. We're going to take the Youngling Storybook Ride." He takes the old man by the hand. They are each wearing a fluorescent arm bracelet that allows them entry to all park rides and venues. The child's bracelet is orange and adults are blue. Palpatine has yellow for seniors. Palpatine wonders why Isabel's parents have blue. Anakin tells him they aren't 'Sith Master Old.' It is actually contains a tracking device in case Palpatine attempts to take any of the children outside the park. Palpatine is just happy he gets to have fun with the children.

"Well, then, let's go. See you, Anakin."

"Don't lose my son."

"He won't leave my side."

"Bye Dad! See you soon, Mom!"

"Have fun, sweetie. Be careful."

Anakin watches as his young child and Palpatine walk off towards the intended ride. Anakin watches them merge with the crowds until he does not see them any longer. He turns to his wife and smiles.

"See? I used a bit of child psychology and there was no resistance."

Isabel responds with a sarcastic smirk on her face.

"Uh-hmm…you're the man."

"Damned right." He takes the baby and bounces him on his knee. "Kris, you like the bucking Ronto ride? Yeah! This is fun!...and it's free long after you leave Ewokland.."

The baby laughs as Anakin plays with him.

Meanwhile Li-An and Palpatine arrive at the entrance gate to the Storybook Ride. Palpatine points to the gate.

"Ah! Here we are, Li-An…"

"Oh, we're not going there."

"But you told your father…"

"It's a baby ride. I want adventure."

"You'll get adventure alright…over your father's knee."

"Come on! Hurry!"

"Where are we going?"

"There!"

"I have a bad feeling about this."

He follows Li-An to the entrance gate to the 'Imperial Speeder Bike Hijack Ride' where a bored-looking college student checks in the riders.

"Hey, kid…how old are you?"

"I'm small for my age."

"Wow, man, you look really tiny…like you're five or something."

"I look young because I take good care of my skin and limit my time in the sun. My friend here is only eighteen; he's a smoker and has never uses sunscreen. He was warned. Now look at him."

"Wow, man…you look rough. I'm gonna lay off the Felucia Gold so I don't hit the wall that hard. Fasten your safety belts. Have a good ride."

"Thanks!"

Li-An walks ahead of his grandfather in order to find the best car. Palpatine taps him on the shoulder.

"You know you're not twelve."

"Come on, select a car, you're wasting time."

"Alright. I'm coming."

Several other riders hop aboard all available cars. Li-An puts on goggles and protective headgear. The machines rev up.

Several minutes later Nakai and Ouisanne return with Alex and Ana-Lena. The two children are wearing their Ewok ears. Isabel's parents buy one for Li-An and the baby. Nakai looks around.

"Where's Li-An. He's too grown-up for the teacups?"

Anakin smiles.

"He told us he wanted a challenge so he took a ride on the Youngling Storybook Ride. How long does that thing take?"

"He probably took another turn. You get to score points and win prizes."

Anakin nods.

"Luke used to like that one. He used to bring back a whole bunch of crap." He turns to Alex and An-Lena. She is holding an Ewok hand puppet and a balloon. Alex has an Ewok spear and a bugle. Isabel promptly confiscates the spear. He is left with the bugle and blows into it. She thinks that perhaps she has confiscated the wrong toy. Ana-Lena sits beside her mother and plays with the baby. She shows him her new puppet.

Anakin looks around. Just as he is about to head over to the Storybook ride he sees Li-An emerge from the crowd. He is carrying a stuffed Ewok and an official Ewokland data pad. He is supporting a frazzled Palpatine with his left hand. Anakin does not immediately recognize the old guy. Isabel's mouth drops open. He parents are equally in shock. Palpatine's usually perfectly coiffed hair is standing on end, he can barely walk. Anakin walks over to him.

"What the hell happened to you?"

"I guess I'm a bit out of shape."

"Why don't you sit down." Anakin stares over at Li-An who smiles back at his father.

Nakai helps Palpatine sit down. He knows Li-An has been up to something. There is no way possible that the kiddie ride did all that damage to an adult and left a child unscathed.

Anakin calls Li-An over.

Hey, pal, let's take a walk.

"Where are we going, Dad?"

"Ohh…I just want to make sure you're having a good time."

"But I am."

"That ride sure did a number on the old guy."

"Yeah…I think it's on account of him not very good with simulated video games…Sensory overload."

"It's a good thing you couldn't go on those more advanced rides."

"It's okay…they're overrated anyway."

"True." They stop in front of a kiosk. Li-An knows what is about to happen. Anakin looks down at his precocious number two son. "So, if you hold your bracelet up to the ride scanner will it tell me something I shouldn't see?"

"You want me to incriminate myself?"

"Uh…"

"So, how did you score?"

"It was 750,000. I got the best score ever…it would have been higher if Gramps didn't get sick. He turned green then white then blue…it was kind of cool."

"Let's head back."

"Okay….Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't feel so good."

Anakin rushes him over to some bushes where Li-An barfs up everything he had eaten before getting on the ride. Anakin takes out a tissue and wipes his son's face.

"All better? Was it worth it?"

"Yes."

"Come on, you. I hope you have learned a valuable lesson. That wasn't an age-appropriate ride."

"So, you have to be older than me and younger than Gramps?"

"Something like that. Let's go, my budding Padawan."

"I like going on vacation with you, Dad. You have a sense of humor."

"More people should take a vacation. Work is terribly over-rated; that's what I told one of the Imperial officers just the other day."

_To be continued…'Wedding Makeovers'_


	132. Chapter 132 Wedding Makeovers

_Chapter 132_

* * *

'_Wedding Makeovers' _

'_Therapy of the Whills'_

'_When Life Takes a Screeching Detour'_

'_It's Electrifying!'_

* * *

No matter how far away one goes. Good friendships never wane. This how Leia feels about her best friend Winter who is one of her bridesmaids. Winter is due to arrive from Alderaan to help Leia with her wedding. Much of the tension Leia has been experiencing seems to melt away knowing that her friends will be with her soon. Things will only improve when her cousin Pooja arrives with her daughter. Ryoo will join them. Leia's grade school friend Fiolla will round out Leia's bridesmaids. The circle is almost complete. She is certain they will love the dresses she has for them.

She is grateful to Isabel for being so supportive. She is also thankful for Han's support and understanding of her wants and needs. She trusts him to handle a few pressing matters soon. Han will need a good friend of his own to pull it off in time.

Anakin tries to steer clear of the wedding planning frenzy. At this point, all he wants to do is sign the invoices. The less he knows about this insanity the better. There is also Li-An's graduation from Youngling Training. Leia has been helping her little brother practice his report and recite his pledge to the Jedi Order. Anakin is proud of his little mischief-maker and near-juvenile felon.

Three kids down, three more to go onto the path to Jedi achievement. Isabel has her hands full with the wedding and Li-An's commencement. Anakin steers clear of all the planning but will be present for both his daughter and his young son's special day. He pleads to his wife to take over. He does not want to deal with caterers and wedding consultants. "Bel, please deal with this guy. You're good at dealing with that sort of thing."

"Fine, Anakin, relax, I'll take care of it."

"Are you tired?"

"No…just extremely busy."

"You're a hard worker. You're the best! Thanks for doing this. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

"Fine, Anakin."

He tells his wife to _'Call when you need me,'_ _which_ translates into _'Don't bother me until the day of the wedding.'_

From this point on, Isabel handles all communications with Roulf and the caterers handling the family luncheon for Li-An and the wedding reception. She is overwhelmed with so much to do, a clingy infant, a temperamental bride and an eight year old boy on his way to becoming a Padawan. She wants the day to be special for him in the midst of all of the fanfare surrounding Leia's wedding.

Anakin is glad to have her as the buffer. There are simply too many people clamoring for his attention. The best place for him to be at this stage of the game is the office, much to the chagrin of the officers reporting to him. One officer decided to take some advice from the dark Lord and arrives at the headquarters one morning a new man. During a conference in the boardroom, two unlikely match-ups are having a lively conversation.

General Rieekan and Governor Tarkin are chatting much to the amazement of the other officers.

"Governor Tarkin, good morning. Welcome back."

"General, good morning. Thank you. I almost didn't come back. I had a splendid time. Thanks for the cottage. I was telling my wife we should make this a yearly holiday."

"Well, I'm pleased to hear that your holiday was a success. You even got some color in you."

Anakin walks into the boardroom. Admiral Motti glances over towards the Dark Lord as Anakin prepares to sit down.

Leia contacts Han to find out what progress he is making one of her dire requests. She hopes it is not as much of a problem as it was when she brought him along to the registry to look at china patterns. She did not appreciate his lack of enthusiasm as they set out to choose items for their home.

"What's the big deal, it's a plate."

"It's more than a plate, Han, it's our future. It's what determines our identity."

"As I was saying…it's a plate."

"Han, there's a difference. We'll need the Jedi plates for holidays and formal dining and we'll need the Corellian stoneware for casual, and the floral Naboo dinnerware is traditional."

"What plates go with a hot slab of Dagobah pizza and Corellian ale?"

"Very funny."

"No, I'm serious. Plates for this…special glasses for that…I just want to feel comfortable in my own home. Who cares what they're drinking out of, as long as it's clean?"

"Well, we're not going to live like peasants. I know a lot of important people, Han. There will be times when we will need to entertain."

"Who, for instance?"

"Dignitaries…from the Galactic Senate, nobility, I still have connections with the Royal House of Naboo you know, and then there's the Jedi High Council. And then there are family and close friends."

"Ohh…I see…well, la-dee-da…so…I'm just curious…what sort of dinnerware would you suggest for scoundrels and scruffy nerfherders?"

"Paper plates."

"I should have known…well, that's just fine with me. I've visited cultures that barely used a stick to eat their food. The nicest folks I know use less."

"We're not talking about Wookies and giant slugs, Han. I know you weren't brought up in a sewer. I've met your parents. Remember? You love being the rebel…always wanting to buck the system. Well let me tell you something, Mister, you're going to shape up, and you're going to act civilized like your parents raised you."

"I don't know if I can do that, Leia; I'm just a scruffy scoundrel remember? You know, you could have done this without me. Oh, and by the way, no piece of bone china or platinum flatware is going to determine my identity, sister...and don't go crying to Daddy again to tell him that I hurt your princess bride' feelings. You spoiled little Jedi brat!"

"You are so selfish! Why can't you think of other people for a change?"

"Because 'other people' take up all of my 'me' time."

Roulf walks over to them.

"So, dahlings…how are we doing wiss der china patterns?"

Han is still fuming from his angry rant with Leia. He turns quickly towards the cheerful Roulf who is dressed in a new velvet ensemble and ruffled shirt. His suit matches his velvet loafers.

"Listen you little velveteen elf…back off!"

"Achkay! Everyone is so emotional in this family. You need to relax. Really! How about some nice champagne?" Han glares at the man until he backs away. "Achkay, I'll come back in a few minutes. Talk amongst yourselves."

Han whispers aside to Leia.

"Instead of you wasting your energy force choking me, you would serve us both by shaking the hell out of that annoying imp over there."

Leia ignores his protests and flashes a wry smile. She speaks in a calm albeit a condescending manner.

"I know…you're right. So which patterns do you like?" Leia holds up two plates as she awaits his answer.

"The paper plates are nice. They'll never break."

Leia's smile disappears. She could perform her Jedi mind trick on him to get im to be more agreeable but then it would not be the 'real' Han Solo answering.

"I don't know why I bother." Frustrated by his behavior, she returns the plates she is holding to the spaces on the display table.

"I'm a fun-loving kind of guy."

"You're not helping."

Luke promises to pick up Owen and Beru at the Coruscant spaceport in time for the festivities. He puts it on his calendar.

Leia spends time helping Li-An recite his commencement speech at Youngling school. His long Padawan braid is tied with a thin leather cord.

He memorizes the Jedi Code:

_There is no emotion; there is peace. _

_There is no ignorance; there is knowledge. _

_There is no passion; there is serenity. _

_There is no death; there is the Force._

Leia and her little brother would sit together twice a week combing through his notes and listening to him as he recites the Jedi Code. This time, they sit together at the breakfast table as her recites his speech:

"When I was just a kid I learned many things that would help me to become a powerful Jedi. Before I started class, I would watch my sister. She demonstrates discipline and patience in everything she does. She says it's important to get your point across when dealing with adversaries, and then you must show patience to make sure that they were listening before taking extreme action. Now she is getting married and will be able to tutor her children, but she says that's a long way off 'cause she's been surrounded by little kids for the past eight years and she needs a break…."

"Hey! Who told you to put that in the speech?"

"Luke."

Just then Luke is about to enter the breakfast room. He hides behind the door after overhearing Leia's outburst. He covers his mouth and giggles quietly. After waiting for a moment to compose himself, Luke casually walks into the room pretending not to have heard them.

"Morning, folks!"

Li-An smiles when he sees his older brother.

"Good morning, Luke!"

"Hey, Sport, what's shaking? Hey, Leia….sooo…what are you two doing?"

"Practicing my speech."

"Cool! How's it coming along?"

"Just fine."

"Need any help?"

Leia looks up at Luke. She knows he heard them before walking into the room.

"No thanks. We're good. We don't need any additional commentary." She stares at Luke as she tutors Li-An. "Continue reading, Li-An."

"The new Jedi Code says…"

_Jedi are the guardians of peace in the galaxy._

_Jedi use their powers to defend and protect, never to attack others._

_Jedi respect all life, in any form._

_Jedi serve others rather than ruling over them, for the good of the galaxy._

_Jedi seek to improve themselves through knowledge and training._

"What does this tell you, Li?"

"It tells us that we must be selfless, help others, and show no anger…less we drift to the Dark Side…Leia, is that why Daddy can't be a Jedi anymore?"

"Well…Daddy took another path."

"He screwed up bad, huh?"

"Sort of."

"I love him anyway. I think he's going to be a Jedi when he goes to heaven. I know he's real sorry for all the stuff he did."

"He just might surprise all of us, small fry." She smoothes her hand over his blond Padawan braid and twirls it around her finger. His full head of hair is soft to touch. Li-An refuses to let anyone cut it. He says he wants to make a ponytail with the hair above his braid like Qui-Gon has.

"Well, I'm going to put in a good word for him when I become a powerful Jedi Master."

Luke smiles.

"Good for you, kid."

"I can't wait for my Padawan induction celebration. I'm glad you're my sponsor, Leia."

"So am I. I'm so proud of you!" She squeezes her little brother tight. "I love you, little guy."

"I'm not so little. Alex is little."

Luke laughs and pours his cereal.

"Yeah, you don't want to be lumped in with a bunch of little kids."

"You've got that right!"

Weeks pass. Anakin arrives for a morning meeting at headquarters. He walks pass the Imperial guards at the door and heads for his seat at the head of the table in the boardroom. Just as he is about to settle in his chair he turns to his left to the seat which had been vacant for the past two weeks. He jerks his head back in the chair.

"Governor?"

"Good morning, Lord Vader."

"You're back from your holiday. You look…rested."

"Why…thank you. I was just telling Admiral Rieekin how much Lady Tarkin and I enjoyed our tropical holiday. I never knew the sun could be so warm and soothing."

Soothing, yes, except when a person has been baking under the suns' hot rays for hours. Skin can turn to leather. Tarkin's skin reminded Anakin of a dried Gundark hide. He almost didn't recognize the gaunt Imperial officer. Anakin does everything he can to avoid staring at the officer while addressing the Galactic Joint Chiefs at the table. He makes a point of holding his hand to his left temple as if in deep thought.

"Gentlemen, while meeting with the Chancellor, he expressed concern for the latest military budget. He wants us to review it and make changes before submitting it to the Galactic Senate by suntan tomorrow…sundown tomorrow."

Qui-Gon sits in the window laughing.

'_Nice save, Ani.'_

Anakin tries not to laugh. Tarkin's new shade gets the best of him. He cannot adjourn the meeting without discussing it. He makes a few announcements then asks if anyone would like to make any comments.

"Well…that was easy…sooo, anyone have anything else they want to say? Anybody? Come on, I know some of you have something you want to say…hmmm. Motti, you always have some sort of comment that makes us go over our meeting time…speak up…" He taps his fingers on the Geonosian granite table then casually turns to Governor Tarkin. "Governor, you wish to tall us a little more about your long holiday with your wife?"

Tarkin turns to Anakin as he straightens his papers.

"Well…ahem…I did indeed enjoy a lovely holiday on Yavin4 at the beach resort of Cabo San Lukaasi. We had a marvelous time. The accommodations were first rate and there was not one cloudy day. I got a great tan after the first 24 hours of blistering heat. I brought back some brochures in case anyone here is interested in planning for a tropical holiday."

He passes the brochures around the table like a Sabacc dealer at a casino. The brochure describes the pristine sandy beaches and private beachfront cottages on both sides of the island. Anakin figures this must have been convenient for Tarkin and his mistress who was at the resort as well. No wonder Tarkin almost got sun poisoning. He had to spend double time on the beach. He goes on to talk about the various activities for couples. He starts to recall the romantic walks along the beach with the salt sea breeze whipping through their hair Anakin begins to feel queasy.

This is definitely a 'TMTI' moment (Too Much Tarkin Imagery). He is about to hurl on the freshly polished granite boardroom table.

"Alright…that was special. Thank you for that vivid travelogue through the galaxy, Governor. Anyone else have anything to say? Okay…We should adjourn this meeting. I'm sure we all have things to do."

Anakin quickly gathers his papers, rises from his chair, and heads out of the boardroom. The other officers follow. Anakin has a lot on his mind. He will not spend too much time at the office today. Qui-Gon tells him there are things of great importance to do once he returns home.

'_Talk to her.'_

A bad feeling comes over him as he walks through the door. He hears his wife use that magic 'T- word' he dreads so much.

"Oh, honey, I'm glad you're here early. It'll give us some time to talk before the kids come home…"

Anakin hates to do this but he cuts off his wife in mid-ramble.

"Oh, gee...you know…can't do, babe. Nice dress you're wearing under that apron. What's for dinner?"

"Sea Bass."

"Super. See you in a bit…Love you."

He gives her a peck on the cheek then retreats quickly to the security of his study and locks the door.

Li-An makes a comment one day that in all his seven plus years, he has never seen his father _'study'_ in the study. He asked his father one day if he could use it to study for his apprentice exams. Anakin tells him _'No'_. Obi-Wan puts the child at ease when he informs him that 'No great thinking ever came from this room. It is an utter waste of time.' Li-An does quite well on his exams sitting at his own desk in his bedroom.

Isabel knows that Anakin does not want to hear about any news concerning the wedding. He knows why she chose to bombard him in the doorway. She thinks she would have his undivided attention. She really needs him right now. Anakin does not agree. His wife is a real trooper. She can handle anything. Isabel watches helplessly as her husband disappears behind the door of his study. She wants to confront him and complain but decides against it. There is so much to do and everyone is depending on her.

_**- 'Table Talk' -**_

Soon everyone is home. Anakin makes a point of telling everyone that family dinners are mandatory from this point going forward…no excuses. He will see all of their cheerful faces each night even if it kills him. This new mandate means no more Jade Family Bacala nights with Mara. He wants everyone present and accounted for. Alex is one of the first to arrive at the dinner table. Skippy trails close behind. The droids take their places on the sidelines. Li-An enters the room carrying his Jedi study book. Anakin will make him hand it over later when he joins his family. "There will be no studying at the table."

The baby has eaten already. He is at the table to complete the 'Skywalker headcount but mostly to be entertained. Like his father, he hates being alone.

Leia arrives home just in time to take her place at the table before her father walks in. Last, but not least, there is little Ana-Lena. She changes into a pretty little dress just for the occasion. Threepio receives the dubious honor of helping her get ready. He is not pleased.

"Miss Ana-Lena, this is the third dress you've tried on today since you arrived home from school. We must hurry along and get ready for supper. You know how important it is to be on time for your father."

"That's why I have to look special."

"This is a regular family dinner, not a debutant ball, young lady. Mint green chiffon is hardly required."

"But I never get to wear this dress."

"Your grandmother buys you too many dresses. The overalls you were wearing earlier are perfectly acceptable dinner attire."

She slips her arms into the beautiful party dress anyway.

"Tie my ribbons please."

"Oh, Miss Ana-Li, this is not the time to accessorize."

"Please? I'll sing for you."

"I can do without a song right now, thank you very much. I always wind up doing something that goes against all reason and protocol. No singing. I refuse to listen." The droid braces himself for the inevitable. Ana-Lena warns him in her sweet, melodic voice.

"Get ready. I'm going to sing to you…"

"Oh, dear…"

'_My best friend is so wonderful_

_He does so many nice things for me_

_I love him, I adore him_

_He is good to me and my daddy._

_Tonight, he will put these ribbons in my hair._

_He is the best…He will put these ribbons in my hair'_

The poor droid is completely under her control as he replies as if in a trance.

"I will put these ribbons in your hair."

"You are so thoughtful, Threepio. Thank you. Now hurry up and button my dress."

She slips on her matching pastel green Mary Jane's after Threepio fastens them with the hook. She hurries out of her room. She makes it to the table just as her father is about to take a visual headcount. She sits at the table to his right of her father. Anakin takes roll call and has already made his way around the table. She slides into her chair just in time for him to call on her next.

"Alex?"

"Present, Dad."

"Thank you….and last but not least…Ana-Lena…"

"Present, Dad!"

"Were you here the whole time?"

"I am now."

"Oh…well, welcome."

"Thank you." She places her napkin on her lap.

Li-An looks across the table at her.

"What's the deal with the dress? Mom, you didn't tell us we had to get dressed up."

"You're fine, Li. Don't worry about it." Isabel is too exhausted to scold anyone right now.

"But, Dad! She took forever to come to the table because she was getting dressed. You never yell at her."

"That's enough, Li. Ana-Lena; you look lovely this evening as always."

"Thank you, Daddy."

"You're welcome, sweet pea. Okay, let's enjoy this wonderful meal your mother has prepared for us." He leans over to whisper to Ana-Lena. "Be on time next time, okay?"

"Okay, Daddy. I promise."

"So, what's going on with everyone?"

Luke looks up from his plate to speak.

"The Jedi Council gave me the green light to write a book on the Jedi Archives. Madame Jocasta Nu read some of my transcript and said I could proceed."

"Hmmm…that's never been done before. Sounds great, son."

Leia grins and speaks under her breath.

"Scandal sheet."

Luke looks ay her.

"What did you say?"

"Oh, nothing."

Alex puts down his glass of milk and speaks to his father.

"I got an 'A' in lightsaber class, Dad."

"I know. I saw the certificate your mother left on my desk today. Congratulations, son. I'm proud of you."

"Yoda says I'm as good as Luke."

"Well, Luke trained you."

Ana-Lena speaks.

"Yoda says I'm doing well with my lightsaber training too."

"You sure are, Sweet pea."

"He says I'm innovative like Leia was when he trained her. And you know what else? He says he has never seen anything like it since Leia was in training."

"I know. Yoda was quite surprised when you showed up for training that morning with a Carbi Doll hilt for your lightsaber. Leia, don't you have better things to do than to make non-regulation lightsabers?"

"It was a gift. She likes it. Lighten up, Dad; all the little girls in the Jedi Order should have one. Remember when I was around her age and you supported me when I came up with a good idea to make Jedi robes colorful and fun?"

"Yes and the Jedi Order hasn't been the same since. Poor Yoda had to be subjected to Younglings arriving to class wearing all sorts of crazy prints. It was quite distracting."

"He should learn to focus more…oh…that's right, he's 900 years old. He must be losing his touch."

"Don't be disrespectful. I don't need your flippant remarks right now."

"Okay, I'm sorry."

Her insincere apology does not sit well with her father. She decides to taunt him more. She knows how far she can push him. She touches on the one topic that will send him into an apoplectic fit.

"Sooo…want to hear an update on my wedding plans?" She smiles as she eats her dinner. Anakin is determined not to take the bait.

"On second thought, maybe you should speak to Master Yoda about some new Youngling uniform designs." He turns his attention to Luke. The other near-disappointment in his life. At least there will be no wedding talk from him…for now. "Luke, I spoke to Nakai over the weekend when I picked up the kids. He wants to know if you want to go deep-sea fishing on Kamino. It'll be a guy thing."

"Uhm…when?"

"In a two weeks. He has a new boat going on the market. He wants to take it out for a spin on the high seas."

Isabel speaks up for the first time since sitting down to dinner with her family. "I don't think it's a good idea to take anymore trips before the wedding…"

Li-An interjects.

"And my commencement, Mom."

"That's right, Li-An."

Anakin rolls his eyes and holds up his hand as if to disavow any blame.

"Your father invited us. I thought it was a good idea…we were even thinking of inviting the groom."

"And I said it's a bad idea. Anakin, there's still a lot to do between now and the wedding. My hands are full."

"Your hands? Bel, no one invited you. This is a guy trip. We'll be back in time to walk the 'Green Mile.'" He chuckles. Isabel and Leia are not laughing.

Leia squints and gives her father a dirty look.

"Daddy, don't be so selfish. You and Luke need to think of others first before you start planning a crazy trip like that. What about me?"

Luke is baffled since he is not the one who brings up the trip.

"What did I do? Why attack me? This is the first I'm hearing about it."

Isabel interrupts.

"It's a risky trip to take this time of year. The weather is always bad and there are storms every week."

Anakin rolls his eyes.

"Perfect…storms. Now she's on a rant."

"I won't have it. No one is going anywhere. I'm calling my dad to tell him to cancel the trip. He'll understand. My mother will back me up on this."

Anakin cuts angrily into his food, causing the table to shake slightly. He forgets he is only cutting into fish and stops suddenly when the knife blade grates the porcelain plate. He mutters to himself.

"Just great…another poor sucker who's wife is riding his ass."

"Anakin, watch what you say at the table please." She thinks of something as she feeds a spoonful of pera sauce to the baby. "Oh, Leia, I left the final order for the blue orchids for the reception tables. It's on the desk in your room."

"Blue? I didn't order blue. I ordered periwinkle orchids. How could you get the order wrong? Mother!"

"Uh…well…the original purchase order you signed said blue…I just assumed you changed your mind."

Anakin is almost oblivious to the conversation heating up around him. It has to do with the wedding and this is time for him to tune out. Flowers, purchase orders, reception, orchids…any combination of these are words trigger his brain to shut down. .Warning…warning…Does not compute. Danger, danger…sensory functions shutting down. Reactor about to explode…beep…beep…beep.

Leia is not happy. Anakin's lovely little Mustafar volcano is about to erupt.

"This is awful! My wedding is going to be ruined!"

Isabel tries to put her mind at ease.

"Leia, it was a mistake…"

"I'm not asking for much, all you had to do was that one small thing for me. You know I have a lot going on with fittings and dealing with Han's groomsmen."

Anakin comes out of his protective soundproof bubble long enough to let out an evil giggle.

"Bel, are you messing up our daughter's wedding?"

Isabel glances across the table at her husband. If there was a time when she could use his support, it is now. She watches as Anakin dips his head and continues eating. She feels betrayed. After taking a deep breath, she looks over at Leia.

"Leia, I'm sorry. I'll call the florist first thing tomorrow and fix it." She figures this will resolve everything but it does not. She feels as if she is in that boat on the high seas of Kamino…the boat is sinking and she is treading water.

"And what if they can't get anymore periwinkle orchids? This is a disaster."

"Leia, we'll get together after dinner and discuss it. I'm sure it will work itself out just fine."

She is holding a spoon to the baby's mouth but has not given the food to him. Kris grabs the spoon from her and feeds himself. She hears someone ask for the bowl of Sallustan ginger rice. Without watching what she is doing, she places the serving bowl in front of Alex and takes his plate. Everyone looks at her as if she is insane. Li-An whispers to Luke who is sitting to Anakin's left.

"Mom messed up? She never messes up. She's perfect. I hope she didn't mess up my commencement party or we're all in big trouble."

Luke senses something is wrong. The quality time family dinner is disintegrating into a mess hall. He understands Li-An's concerns but there appears to be a bigger problem. He gently nudges his younger brother and whispers.

"Not now, Li."

"Isabel quietly gets up and leaves the table as chaos ensues. Luke grabs the bowl of rice as Alex attempts to pass it around. Ana-Lena raises her hand for attention. Luke calls his father but Anakin keeps talking. The droids watch the insanity as Isabel walks away.

"Artoo, Master Ani doesn't even realize she's gone." Artoo responds with a woeful chortle. "It's as if he's denying it's actually happening. What will we do? Without Madame Isabel to control things we're doomed." He looks down at the astromech droid. "What's that Artoo? Interrupt the master? I've learned my lesson. He never listens to me."

Luke tries to get his father's attention.

"Dad…Dad."

'Hold on, Luke. Leia, calm down. I'm sure we can get this all resolved. Let's enjoy this wonderful dinner."

Alex raises his hand to speak.

"Dad, do I still get to talk about the talent show in school next week? I'm playing the guitar that Aunt Bunny gave me."

Ana-Lena taps her father on the arm.

"Daddy, do you like my dress? I wore it for you for family night."

"It's beautiful, sweet pea. Didn't I tell you that already?" He is distracted as she watches Luke leave the table. "Luke, where are you going?"

"I'm going after Mom!"

Anakin does not realize that his wife has left the table for good. Li-An calls after his brother as he slides out of his chair.

"Luke, wait for me." He follows Luke out of the room.

Anakin look across the table. Alex is halfway out of his seat when his father catches him in the process of escaping.

'Hey! Where are you going?"

"With Li and Luke." He slowly backs away.

"Sit down. I was just getting to you about this talent show thingy." He sees the baby, still in the highchair playing with his Ewok sip cup. Alex quietly leaves the room. Anakin looks over at Leia and points to the baby. "Leia, please? …And where is everyone? Where did Alex go? Everyone get back here! This is family night damn it!"

Ana-Lena covers her mouth in shock as her father uses forbidden language at the table. She is slightly amused at the same time. She responds in a hushed whisper.

"Ohh, Daddy!"

Realizing that his event is an utter failure, Anakin leaves the table. Leia grabs the baby and calls her sister

"Ana-Le, come with me."

Ana-Lena dutifully follows her sister and takes her hand. Ana-Lena looks up at Leia and points as if making a discovery.

"Leia, you…you made a rhyme! You could sing a song. Let's make up a song. I want to help." She twirls around still holding onto Leia's hand. Her pale green chiffon dress twirls up like a fluffy green cloud. The baby babbles and laughs as he looks down from Leia's arms.

'_**Failure at the Cave'**_

Anakin stands at the door of Isabel's 'sanctuary. Luke, Li-An and Alex wait in the hall against the wall waiting. Anakin is somewhat embarrassed when he has to knock on the door. There is no answer. Li-An whispers aside to Luke.

"That was awkward."

Anakin's three sons continue to watch him. He tilts his head against the door.

"Bel? Honey, are you alright? Mind if I come in?"

The droids are now in the hall waiting against the wall with Luke and his brothers. Threepio whispers to no one in particular.

"Mister 'Man' is going to have to come up with a good apology this time around. I wonder what his brain will tell him to do next."

Anakin turns and gives the droid a menacing look and points at him. Threepio gasps with fear but nothing happens. The master has to tend to the matter on the opposite side of the door. Alex leans against Luke's leg.

"What's wrong, Daddy? Open the door."

Skippy sniffs and paws at the door. He starts to whimper. Anakin sighs then speaks again as he turns the knob.

"Bel, I'm coming in, okay?"

He turns his head to see the crowd behind him. Leia is joining the group along with Ana-Lena. The baby is sips from his empty cup then calls softly, "Ma-ma."

Anakin nudges Skippy aside with his foot, turns the knob, and enters the room. He closes the door behind him. Li-An sighs as he looks down at his shoes.

"I have a bad feeling about this. Splitsville!"

Alex looks up at Luke and holds his hand tighter than ever.

"Is Mommy leaving Daddy?"

"I don't think so, Alex. I hope not."

"Is Daddy getting kicked out of the house?"

Ana-Lena starts to cry.

"I don't want Mommy to leave. Daddy will be sad and besides, he doesn't know how to dress me."

Threepio rolls his eyes and makes an off the cuff remark.

"Mercy me, and what a dark day that will be."

Leia gives him a backhanded slap against his golden chest.

"Quiet you! She's upset." She draws her little sister close to her. "It'll be alright, Sweet pea. Don't cry."

It is an awkward moment on the other side of the door. The Dark Lord has failed. He knows what he must do but it is difficult to 'Force' it out. He has to apologize and beg…grovel for forgiveness. He needs help.

'_**Dr. Whills'**_

Everyone goes to bed early that evening. Anakin cannot sleep tonight. He spends an hour sitting on the terrace outside the master bedroom. The bedroom is a cold and empty place. He tried to say he was sorry. Geez!

He leans over in the patio chair and holds his head in his hands. His so-called support team gave him a 'no confidence' vote. All four of them seem to put in their two credits worth of opinions. The leader of the 'Force of Four' cut Anakin to the quick with his betrayal.

'_All she wanted was a little support and understanding, Ani, and what do you do? You laugh it off as if it were a joke.'_

Master Windu begs to concur.

'_Anakin, you're a damned fool. Now look who's all alone in that big room in there. You're not getting any for or long time…maybe never.'_

Then the lone feminist of the group chimes in.

'_I thought you would have learned by now, but you keep making the same mistakes. A woman wants respect and she wants her husband to back her up when she needs it. You weren't there for her. You don't deserve her.'_

Mace looks up at the bright stars in the night sky.

'_So, any idea who she's retaining for the d-i-v-o-r-c-e?'_

Qui-Gon tries to decipher the spelling in the air with his finger. He whispers to the others.

'_D-i-v-o-r…oh! Divorce.'_

Anakin becomes annoyed. He looks up at them then stares at the alabaster tiles in the ground.

"Guys, I'm right here. I can hear you."

'_I'm disappointed in you, Ani.'_

"I know."

'The children are disappointed in you.'

'_Her__ parents are going to be disappointed when the news gets around.'_

"I got it! Okay? I screwed up Thanks for driving it home for me. Where's our resident saint? Is he going to judge me too? Come on Saint Mundi; lay it on me, as if I'm not a pariah already, Slap a big 'F' on my back."

'_Oh, I never use such language. That's Master Windu's thing.'_

Mace Windu replies angrily at the insult.

"_What? What the 'eff' is that supposed to mean? 'Oh, that's his 'thing' I'm a 'mofo' saint. Butter will melt in my mouth…' Give me a break!'_

Aayla tries to quell the bickering.

'_Master Windu, we're at one with the Force. There is nor anger. We are at peace.'_

'_Oh, 'eff' that. He insulted me. We're on now.' _He takes in an old-fashioned boxing pose.

'_Master Windu, I'm sure that's not what Master Mundi meant, did you, Master Mundi?'_

'_I'm a saint. I cannot lie about my true feelings.'_

Aayla responds.

'_Okay, enough of this. Mace, put your arms down, you look ridiculous. You know you're not going to hit him. Let's get back to the reason we're here. Listen, I understand what Anakin is saying.__ He was commenting that he would get an 'F' as in 'Failure' for the mistakes he has made in his marriage.'_

Qui-Gon nods in agreement.

'_That is true. He did fail in his marriage.'_

Master Windu agrees.

'_Yep, he 'effed' that up real good. I saw that disaster coming a millennium away. He had it so good too! _

Anakin does not like what he is hearing.

"Don't hold back, guys, just let out your true feelings." He stands and circles the patio chair then points an accusing finger at the four amigos. "And speaking of 'back' what happened to all those years of 'We've got your back, Ani.'? Tell me that! Humph!" He plops back into the chair.

Ki Adi Mundi circles Anakin's chair now. He has gotten a swollen head since becoming a saint.

'_Tsk…tsk…tsk. And you were baptized too. What a waste. You couldn't even apologize the right way. Now you're all alone with a king-sized bed. Well, at least you'll have more room for you and your ego.'_

Anakin rolls his eyes and sulks.

"It's kind of hard to be alone when you have four ghosts berating you."

Aayla wags her finger at him.

'_Anakin, don't get belligerent. We're here for help and support.'_

Mace agrees.

'_We're here to tell you we've got your back…__for real, you big dummy.'_

"There was no need for the attack on my intelligence. That's it! Everybody out!"

The 'support group' chats amongst themselves as they fade into the night sky.

'_He needs an attitude adjustment.'_

'_We're only trying to help.'_

Anakin looks up at the sky.

"I said, get out!"

'_I told you he needs an attitude adjustment. He doesn't want our help? Fine, let him go it alone…see how far he gets…he's still a big dummy.'_

'_You just can't help some people. Tsk, tsk.'_

The next morning the children are on their own at breakfast. Isabel stays in her boudoir. There is a knock on the door. Leia pokes her head in.

"Hi…I feel just awful about yesterday. I behaved badly. Daddy said I was horrid and I hope you can forgive me. You've done so much for me and I have been terribly ungrateful. I'm sorry and I appreciate everything you've done to help me to prepare for my wedding."

"We've all been under a lot of pressure these past few weeks. I'll help wherever I can."

"And I'll give you some space. Thank you, thank you." They hug. There is a knock on the door. Leia leaves and Alex walks in.

"Hi, Mom."

"Hello, baby bear."

"I came to apologize."

"Why?"

"I have no idea. I just don't want to be left out. Everyone else is apologizing."

"We're good." She smiles and winks.

"I love you, Mommy."

"I love you too, sweetie."

The children are lining up in the hall. Li-An walks in as Alex leaves.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"We need to cut you a break don't we?"

"Oohh, Li…"

"You don't have to say it; we know we haven't been the ideal children…I mean…Look who we have for a dad. He needed this wake-up call. We're going to do better. It's a promise."

"I believe you." She kisses him. It is time for the next Skywalker pilgrim to visit the shrine of 'Our Mother of Perpetual Patience and Beauty.'

Luke walks in and holds her tightly in his arms.

"Mom, you must think we are the worst kids in the galaxy."

"If I said you were the best it would just go to your head and then you children would have nothing to aspire to."

"Don't take anymore crap from us."

"I won't."

Ana-Lena is next. She is wearing khaki overalls and a long-sleeved pullover with a Jedi emblem print. Her footwear is girls' white Jedi Sprinters with white sparkly tulle threaded through the aglets instead of laces. There will be no frilly dress today.

"Good morning, Mom. I have a poem for you before you go."

"Oh, thank you, Ana-Lena."

"Everybody helped with a part of it."

Isabel sits up in her ivory velvet chaise to listen to her daughter.

'The Perfect Mother'

_(Ana-Lena Speaks)_

Wanted, a mother for six adorable Jedi children

_(Sings)_

If you want these six bright children  
of basically good disposition  
Rosy cheeks, know the Force!  
Play mind games, of course

You are kind, and surely witty  
Very sweet and very pretty  
Takes us on outings, bakes us treats  
Sing songs, bring sweets

We admit to being cruel  
At times dishonor Jedi rule  
Love us as your sons and daughters  
Ev'n if the boys fill balloons with water

If you won't scold and dominate us  
How will you ever learn to raise us?  
We won't hide pixies  
So you can't see  
Put Ewoks in our beds  
Or serve Skippy tea  
Sorry, Mummy!  
Many thanks  
Forgive us,

Luke, Leia, Li-An, Alex, Ana-Lena, and Krizstan Skywalker

All is forgiven. They are prepared for the worse. Isabel embraces her children before leaving the house for the day with her husband.

Isabel and Anakin sit in a room alone at the Jedi Temple. Not much is said. The doors open and several Jedi masters file in and sit in chairs facing them. There is one chair on the platform where Isabel and Anakin are sitting. The door opens again. The chair is soon filled by the last individual to walk through the door. He regards the couple for a moment, nods his head in despair then fits back and folds his hands.

"Disappointed in you I am."

Anakin responds.

"I assume all the blame, Master Yoda."

"Of course you do and should but no praise you get for this. Six children suffer for your mistakes. Your wife takes on responsibility of both parents. Isabel, want to say something to your husband do you?"

Isabel turns to Anakin.

"You don't help enough. You were supposed to help me with the wedding and Li-An's commencement. You left me to do everything."

"You do everything so perfectly. I'm a klutz when it comes to arranging events. Heheh…" The nervous chuckle does not amuse Master Yoda. He whacks Anakin with his gimer stick. "Oww! Hey!"

"What else do you want him to know, Isabel."

"There is so much going on and I don't get the support I need from you. More than that, Anakin, you don't listen."

Anakin swings slowly back and forth in his chair. His eyes are glazed over. Suddenly he blinks.

"What was that, hon?"

Yoda hits him again.

"Do you love your wife?"

"Hey, hey, hey! Cut it out. Of course I love my wife." He looks into his wife's eyes. "I know I screwed up, but Bel, that's not a reason to leave me. Geez! You know I'm not good being alone. I need structure…my kids need discipline. We're in trouble, honey."

"I've tried to talk to you but you blew me off yesterday."

"I was busy."

"You weren't busy. You were hiding in your study."

"Oh, that. Isabel, I'm under a lot of pressure. My daughter is getting married and leaving home. Luke can't be far behind. I'm afraid everyone is going to leave and I'll be all alone."

"Anakin, I'm exhausted and underappreciated and I've had enough."

Yoda mocks him.

"Boohoo! Get a hold of yourself. Alone on Dagobah System I was years ago after the Clone Wars. Blubbering like a little girl I did not. Never listen is your problem. What is the matter with you?" He glances at the timer on the table between them. "Let's take a break. Much work there is to save this marriage. Marriage worth saving it is. The Jedi Marriage Council and I will reconvene in thirty minutes."

**-Meanwhile, across town at the Skywalker residence-**

The children and the droids watch the creature walk through the door. They are ready for him. Leia and Luke have to leave but they linger around until they feel the conditions were safe. Li-An greets the creature first.

"Hey, Granpalps. How are you? High-five!" Palpatine waves back then hangs up his jacket.

"Fine, just fine. Hello children! Miss me?"

"Sure! Oh, you have to change Kris's diaper." Li-An looks around. Alex and Ana-Lena are no longer standing beside him.

Palpatine wrings his hands.

"Sooo… where did your parents go all of a sudden this morning? Leia and Luke barely had time to chat with me."

"Mom and Daddy had to go to a meeting. Leia's got a lot on her mind."

Palpatine nods and makes a sarcastic remark.

"Oh yes, of course. _'The royal wedding,'_ Aren't you excited?"

"Oh, sure. I got a new suit and everything and I got a new Jedi robe for my commencement. Leia's going to be my sponsor."

He gives Li-An a condescending pat on the head.

"Yes, yes. I guess your father believes you must become a Jedi. So, where are your brother and sister? They were here a moment ago."

"Hiding."

"So…do you children want breakfast?"

"It's past breakfast time. You have to prepare our lunch soon. You can't mess up or Dad's not going to be happy."

"Who are you, the Youngling spokesperson?"

"I'm the man of the house when Dad and Luke are gone. You had better get hopping. That diaper isn't going to change itself you know."

"Very well, come on."

Palpatine takes the baby to the downstairs playroom and places him on the changing table. Ana-Lena and Alex reappear and watch him. The comments and questions come fast and furious, especially from Alex.

"Do you know what you're doing?"

"Where have you two been?"

"Why are you here? We can take care of ourselves."

"I'm here at your father's request… you're still minors…and you never answered my question. Where were you?"

"We've been in the house the whole time. You can't leave the baby alone on the changing table. You need to keep your eyes on him at all times, so don't worry about us."

"I'm not leaving him on the changing table."

"We'll you've got that right!" He points to the toy shelf. Krizstan has managed to navigate from the changing table to the toy shelf. Li-An folds his arms.

"You had better catch the baby before we call child protective services. My dad has it on speed dial. I think it's been like that since Luke and Leia were kids."

"Well that's not going to make him look good if they show up here. Your father is a good man but he doesn't always plan these things out well."

"Well, you could be getting the baby instead of teaching us life lesions."

"Sooo, how come you kids aren't in school today?"

"There's no Jedi training today and it's teacher's retreat day at our other school. It's a day of reflection and self-affirmation."

"Those teachers go on a lot of retreats. I'm sure it has nothing to do with their dealings with a certain group of Force sensitive children challenging their competence as educators." He raises his eyebrows as he looks away. Li-An folds his arms across his chest.

"No, they go to rest and discuss their feelings. So how do you propose to entertain us today?"

"Entertain you?"

"Well, sure. You should know by now that you have to keep us happy. What are we going to do while you prepare our lunch?"

"What does your father do on days like this?"

"He lets us watch 'Chewy & Boga'."

"Chewy and Who-ga?"

"It's the collector's edition DVD."

"Oh, I see. And where would I find this DVD?"

"It's in the family room locked up in the entertainment holovid cabinet."

"Why is it locked up?"

"It's a collector's set. Dad wants to protect it. An adult has to get it for us."

"That's all well and good but I don't have permission to let you view it and then there's the matter of the key."

"Oh, I can get the key."

Li-An returns with the key. The children sit in the family room on the overstuffed sofa watching 'The Continuing Adventures of Chewy & Boga.' The children are mesmerized.

'_**Lunchables'**_

While the three tykes are in their vegetative state in front of the plasma, Palpatine is in the kitchen preparing lunch. The baby sits in his highchair babbling away and banging a soup ladle on the tray.

The three Jedi Youngling zombies are snapped out of their Chewy & Boga trance by the lunch bell.

"Children, lunch is served. Come along. Chop, chop!"

The Younglings take their places at the table. Li-An looks in his bowl.

"What's this stuff?"

"Roasted tomato and basil with rice soup and grilled Corellian blue cheese with apple."

"Where did you learn to make that?"

"I took a cooking class after I was unceremoniously dethroned by your father and sent of to that retirement home."

"Oh, is that the class you took with your life partner?"

"What? Lorian Nod is _'not'_ my life partner. We just took a cooking class for seniors. It was a twofer. Your father thinks he is so funny making inappropriate jokes at my expense."

Li-An rests his elbow on the table and lowers his chin in his hand.

"Are you getting paid for this?"

"No."

"Thank goodness. You're doing a crappy job."

"I beg your pardon?"

Ana-Lena sniffs her grilled sandwich then looks up at the old man.

"So, do you have a girlfriend?"

"I do but it's complicated."

She sips her blue milk then sets her glass down on the placemat.

"What's her name?"

"Sly."

"Sly? What kind of a name is that?"

"It's a common name in her homeworld."

"So, why aren't you still together?"

"We had a parting of the ways when I was dethroned. Forced into retirement. He left me to rot at Shady Acres." He begins to show his anger.

"Oh, yes, the old folks home."

"It's not an old folks home…it's a senior retirement community."

Alex turns to his brother. He looks at the old man.

"What did you retire from?'

"My old job."

"What did you do?"

"It was a high-level position of power."

He takes out his anger on a wedge of cheese he has been wrapping in plastic. He squeezes it until it is no longer a wedge shape. "I had goals, power…"

Li-An nods knowingly.

"Oh, yes, I remember now. That was the year you tried to kidnap me. You were a real screw up. No wonder our dad gets into so much trouble. You're a mess! You weren't a very good role model for my dad when he was growing up, were you?"

Alex agrees.

"You're not a very good parent either. Daddy said you almost ruined his life."

"Is that so? Well, he shouldn't be discussing these adult matters with you."

"Ohh, he didn't. He told someone else and they told us."

"Who?"

"Can't say. They remain anonymous."

"Sooo…you know all about my personal life?"

"We are family, aren't we?"

Alex agrees.

"We're supposed to make your life a living hell. That's what families do for each other."

Ana-Lena waits for her brothers to finish their inquisition so she can ask more questions.

"So, what's she like?"

"Who?"

Alex responds

"Your girlfriend."

"She's a striking figure of a woman."

"Does that mean she's pretty or ugly?"

"Is she mad at you?"

"Sort of."

"Why?"

"A already told you…" He sighs. He starts to vent his true feelings.

"She sees me as a has-been."

"Has been what?"

"I'm not powerful anymore."

Ana-Lena offers her grandfather some advice.

"Then she's not worth having. You have to be more confident about yourself, Grampalps."

"Ha! You're so sweet…like your mother." He puts his fingers to his lips then touches her forehead with gentle affection. Li-An stares with surprise then bites into his toasted sandwich. Palpatine gestures for the children to eat. "Alright, finish your lunch before it gets cold."

The baby is still banging the ladle. Palpatine cringes as the metal pings against the highchair tray. It tries to take the utensil from the baby.

"Okay, enough of that. Try to be a good baby."

Alex watches them.

"You better just let him have it."

"He might hurt himself, and besides, the noise is rather distracting."

Li-An tastes his soup as he watches the old man battle with the baby.

"I wouldn't take that away from him if I were you."

"I'm the supervising adult in this house. Trust me; I know what I'm doing."

"My mom doesn't trust you. Why should we trust you?"

"Your father trusts me and that's all that matters."

"How come he's an only child?"

"That's a long story."

"Were you married to Dad's mother?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"It's a long story."

"Did you drift apart?"

"In a manner of speaking…yes."

"Why?"

"We didn't know each other very well."

"How come?"

"That's a longer story."

"You're not good with women are you?"

"I'm misunderstood. You ask a lot of questions."

"I'm a kid. That's my job." He watches as old Palps continues to battle the baby for the ladle. "I think you should really leave him alone right now."

"Leave him to me; I know what I'm doing"

After several attempts to confiscate the ladle he is finally successful. The result is a crying baby. Skippy is barking wildly, Threepio and Artoo scramble for cover. The children hide under the table. Li-An reaches up and feels around the table for his remaining half of the grilled cheese sandwich then quickly curls up on the floor between the chairs to rejoin his siblings.

"I have a bad feeling about this."

Someone reaches for the phone and presses the speed dial. After a couple of ringes, a voice answers.

"_Coruscant 911. What is the Emergency?"_

Meanwhile, back at the counseling session at the Jedi Council Marital Counseling Center, Anakin is subjected another tongue-lashing from Master Yoda and intense scrutiny from the panel members of the council.. During the break, Anakin and Isabel are left alone in the room. They are left there on purpose as the Council observe from a secret viewing area. They are hoping that leaving the couple alone like this will inspire dialogue.

Anakin walks over to the buffet table and pours some freshly brewed jawa. He looks back at his wife as the hot liquid fills up in the cup.

"Want a donut?"

"No. Thank you."

"Come on…they have frosted jelly...your favorite. You used to crave for these during the last four months you were pregnant with Alex. Come on….you won't gain any weight. You know you want one."

Anakin picks up one of the sweet confections and holds it in her face like a hand puppet.

"Here…'Eat me! I'm delicious." He taunts her with the cake.

"No. Get it out of my face, Anakin."

"Look, I'll eat one. Bet I can eat it whole. Look!" He crams the donut in his mouth. The jelly squishes from the sides. The thin glaze coating is flavored with rosewater and bits of rose petals. He starts to chew but the cake sticks to the roof of his mouth. He punches his chest. Isabel stares at him."

"Are you alright?"

He holds a finger up for her to wait. He points to the table.

"Another donut?" He nods 'No.' She grabs the cup of jawa. "Jawa?" He nods 'Yes.'

She hands him the cup of hot jawa. He gulps it down. Isabel is speechless. He husband can tolerate a lot. Scalding hot liquid is one of them.

"Are you alright?"

He laughs.

"Yes. These donuts a pretty good. Try one."

She selects one from the tray and takes a small bite.

"Uhm…it is good."

"Right…yum…I'm going to have another one. Will you rescue me if I start to choke?"

"Of course."

"I love you, woman."

"You're not so bad yourself, mister."

They embrace. Anakin dips her in his arms and engages in a passionate kiss. He looks up to see the Jedi Marriage Council and Master Yoda watching. Master Yoda is leaning on his gimer stick. The loving couple stands abruptly, brush themselves off. Master Yoda sends the couple off with a blessing and some words of wisdom: "You have done well. Learned all you need have you."

They head outside to the beautiful meditation courtyard of the Jedi Temple. Anakin grabs his cell phone. It has been ringing on vibrate since they were kissing in the meeting room. He starts at the phone before answering.

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

'_**This Was No Boating Accident'**_

They arrive in the Coruscant University Emergency Room panic-stricken.

A nurse leads them to the patient area. They hear screaming behind the last curtain. A nurse, an assistant and two orderlies surround the bed. Anakin and his wife are stunned by what they see.

A bandages right hand, singed eyebrows and a reddened, blistered face stares back at them. Palpatine looks like a pitiful soul. The medical staff leaves to allow the family some privacy.

Mace Windu is sitting in the window laughing and shaking his head.

'_Anakin, you've got some bad ass kids! I'm sorry for laughing but when it happened it was funny as hell!'_

Anakin's mouth drops as he looks at the old man. Isabel is shocked too but neither is surprised.

Palpatine shakes his gauze-covered right hand at them. The other hand only has a small gauze pad on his palm.

"Those children are demons! That's what they are alright. Especially that little one."

"He's not bad…he just has a bad temper. I told you to read the babysitting guidelines."

"Well, you could have warned me or stuck a post-it in the page of reference."

"It's not our fault you didn't read the whole book like we warned you. So, where are our kids?"

The nurse who escorted Anakin and Isabel to the old man's bedside briefs the couple.

"Oh, two of the nurses' aides took them to the employee cafeteria to get something to eat. They should be back soon."

The droids and children pop out of an elevator a few moments later. The children are thrilled to see their parents. Anakin takes the baby and playfully blows raspberries in his belly. Kris smiles then reaches for his mother.

"Ma-ma."

"Hello, angel. What have you been up to?" She takes him in her arms and cradles him. Anakin looks at the other three demons in his presence."

"You kids begging for free food?"

Li-An responds.

"No. Grampalps made us lunch but we had to call 911 when he had a cooking accident."

"Cooking accident?"

The attending physician arrives to brief Anakin on Palpatine's injuries.

"Mr. Skywalker, good afternoon. I'm Dr. Hooper."

"Hello."

"I examined your father when he came into the Emergency department. Can we talk for a moment?"

Anakin turns to Isabel.

"Honey. Take the children. I'll be with you in a minute."

"Sure. I love you." She kisses him.

"I know."

As soon as Isabel steps away with the children, the doctor and Anakin discuss Palpatine's injuries.

" Mr. Palpatine has sustained. First and second degree burns on his face and hands."

"Really? It just looks like a bad sunburn."

"That's the first impression but what I find baffling is that the burns are not consistent to those resulting from a cooking accident. That's what was written on the admissions chart. Would you excuse me for a moment please?"

"Sure."

The doctor goes to the triage desk to speak to one of the interns and nurses.

"Which one of you wrote on Mr. Palpatine's chart 'Burns as the result of a cooking accident?"

A young intern speaks up.

"Well…that's what the child told us."

"A child, Dr. Nevin?" The attending physician is incensed. "This was no cooking accident!" He looks at Nurse Jean Brody. "Did you report this to the Jedi Order?"

"No. The patient was the guardian and only adult in the household at the time. If anyone would know, it would be he."

"Come with me, I want to show you something."

The triage nurse and intern follow the doctor to the bed behind the last curtain. He slips into a pair of examining gloves then points out each of the injuries. He points to the faint outlines around each burn.

"This is what happens when an electrical current etches itself into the skin. This indicates the non-frenzied infliction of some type of organic lightning. Well, this is not a cooking accident! And it wasn't any appliance burn; and it wasn't any steaming water; and it wasn't the Ghost of Count Dooku! It was a living human. Someone was in that house with those kids."

Palpatine stares at the three but says nothing. The doctor returns to speak to Anakin.

"Mr. Skywalker, would you mind very much if I have a chat with your children?"

"Uh…why?"

"We still have lingering questions…"

Anakin interrupts.

"Can the old guy be released?"

"Well, we want to make sure he has someone to take care of him. I am still concerned that your children may know more than what they are telling us. Were there any visitors to the house today?"

"Uhm…no."

"I would like to speak to them."

Anakin senses a problem and immediately takes action. Isabel gently bounces the baby in her arms as she waits for her husband. Anakin waves his hand in the doctor's face.

"You don't need to question the children. Mr. Palpatine can be released immediately into your care"

The doctor responds as if nothing has happened.

"There's no need to question the children. Mr. Palpatine can be released into your care."

Anakin nods his head.

"Thank you, Doctor."

Anakin gathers his 'troops' and shuffles everyone out of the emergency department. They are almost out of the door when someone calls them.

"Mr. Skywalker?"

Anakin winces cursing under his breath just as he is about to make a clean getaway. He is pushing Palpatine in a wheelchair. The voice sounds familiar as he slowly turns to face the person calling him.

"Oh, Hello Nurse Higgins. How are you?"

"Just great. You causing mayhem in my hospital today?"

"No ma'm. Not me. I'm just ushering the old man out…routine stuff…ahem…"

"What happened?"

"Uhm…boating accident…you coming to the wedding?"

"I wouldn't miss it." She smiles when she sees Isabel. "Mrs. Skywalker, hello."

"Hello, Nurse Higgins, How are you and the Professor?"

"Just wonderful, thank you. Well, you look as if you need to hurry off. I hope your father gets well soon."

Anakin smiles nervously.

"Thanks. See you!" As Nurse Higgins disappears down the corridor, Anakin breathes a sigh of relief and hurries everyone to the YUV.

As they head on to the exit ramp to Faleen HyperDrive. Li-An turns his head to look into the back seat of the vehicle. He looks forward and speaks to his father.

"Dad? Aren't you going to drop old Palps off at his retirement condo?"

"Uhm…no…Gramps is staying with us for awhile to recuperate."

"What's to recuperate from?"

"Your mother and I discussed it and my decision is final."

"Where's he going to sleep?"

"In one of the guestrooms."

"How far away will it be from us?"

"Why?"

"Just wondering….we're noisy kids. He might not sleep well with us close by."

Alex tries to turn in his car seat to look at the old man. Ana-Lena swings her feet and giggles. The baby is in his car seat between his sister and Alex. He is sleeping. Isabel looks back at him and smiles. Her sweet little angel has had a rough day. He will sleep through dinner. The four Force Ghosts watch over him in the nursery.

That evening at dinner, Isabel sets a plate of cut up shaak filets In front of her father-in-law. The children watch as she feeds him. Li-An makes a face as if this is the worst thing he has ever seen.

Anakin cuts into his shaak steak and makes sounds indicating he is enjoying his meal.

'Uhm..um…um! Bel, this is delicious. This steak filet cuts like butter. Li, pass me the potatoes please….yum…a nice hot dish of Tatooine au gratin potatoes…careful, Li, use the handle mitts."

Ana-Lena watches as her mother feeds the 'creature'.

'Mommy, how come he can't feed himself? Is he a baby?"

"His hands are bandaged and they're very painful right now."

Anakin continues eating but he is enjoys tormenting the old man.

"Yeah, I remember how hard it was not having a hand. So.... how's it feel to be 'hands-free', Pop?"

Isabel looks at her husband.

"Okay, Anakin. Enough."

Palpatine is enjoying the attention.

"Isabel, you are being oh so helpful and kind. Thank you."

Alex watches Li-An pretending to be an Eopie grazing for tubers. Alex laughs hysterically as Li-An makes grunting noises with his face buried in his plate. Anakin glares over at Li-An. He knows if he does not say anything, his wife will.

"Alright, boys, calm down over there."

Isabel glances across the table at her husband. He has a smirk on his face. He remembers to shape up. He does not want to wind up at the marriage counselor again.

Luke walks in and takes his place at the table. Isabel prepares a plate for him. He witnesses the bizarre activity at the dinner table. Where is his 'real' family? His father is happy and laughing, his brothers are having a field day poking fun of their grandfather. Ana-Lena is in overalls and has not changed her clothes once today. She is happy nonetheless. His parents are talking and his father is listening this time. His stepmother is feeding the once powerful Emperor as if he is an invalid.

Leia arrives and actually helps Isabel feed the old man. As Luke quietly observes everyone at the table, he comes to one conclusion. The galaxy is surely coming to an end. The crazy Anzati bounty hunter holding up a crumpled cardboard sign at Mos Eisley Spaceport was right.

"The End is Near."

_To be continued…'The Journey Down the Green Mile…Dead Scoundrel Walking'_


	133. Chapter 133 Journey Down the Green Mile

_Chapter 133_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Meant to Mentor'_

'_Karaoke Polka'_

'_The Journey Down the Green Mile'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Two weeks go by and everything is going well...almost. The invitations have all gone out and guests have sent their RSVP's. Anakin seems to be on his best behavior. He has not called in a pod racing bet since before marriage therapy. It is not because he is bored with it; rather, it was one of the stipulations of Isabel staying with him. No more hiding in the office and no gambling. He also keeps the door to his study ajar. This is the other agreement he makes with his wife. He must demonstrate that he is always available to his wife and family. Isabel tells the children that must still knock first but that they will always have access to their father.

Anakin is still adjusting to his new 'open door' policy. It is more of a revolving door policy. Kids in, kids out.

For the days following his recovery, Palpatine is holding court in his room with a parade of people, including his publicist and assistant while granting an interview to WCOR News to discuss his new film 'The Last Sith of Coruscant.' He explains his injuries to the press as a 'mishap in the kitchen.' During one visit, he is lounging on the terrace with a reporter camera crew from a TV local station.

"So, Mr. Palpatine, how is your recovery coming along?"

"Ohhh…I have good days and bad days. I have my wonderful family around me for help and support. Beautiful weather we're having, isn't it? It's nice to sit out here on the terrace. Look at all the beautiful lemon trees around me. Take in the clean fresh air."

"You seem to have every convenience here."

"Oh, it's fabulous. Have a lemonade…. Oh Isabel…Isabel…Dear? We'll need another pitcher of this delightful lemonade for our guests." He points to the glass picture on the small side table near the chaise where he is lounging. He picks up a little bell and shakes it.

Isabel walks out onto the patio. She is trying to maintain her sweet demeanor as the old coot taps the pitcher with his finger. She is fed up with his condescending tone. He smiles up at her as she grabs the pitcher and walks back inside. She mutters to herself as she tosses the lemons into the juicer.

"That wizened old massif! Who does he think he is? If he rings that bell one more time, I'll ram it down his throat."

She fills the pitcher almost forgetting the sugar. She stirs it in that the last minute. She does not want to hear another peep out of the annoying creature. Ana-Lena has been watching he mother in the kitchen. She follows her mother back to the terrace to watch as she serves lemonade to the old man and his entourage. She waits until her mother goes back inside and after the guests start drinking the flavorful beverage. She is holding one of her dolls when she approaches the group. Palpatine turns to see her standing there in a blue dress with a white smock tied at the back and little cherries embroidered at the bottom. He waves her over.

"Oh, hello, Dear. Don't be shy. Come meet say 'Hello' to Grampa-pa's guests."

"Hello."

Palpatine smiles.

"Isn't she beautiful? I wouldn't be surprised one day if she makes a career in front of the big screen."

"She is a little darling, I must say that." The reporter pokes the microphone in her face.

"So, what do you think of your grandfather's performance?"

Her response has the reporter and crew stunned.

"Oh, well, he's been over-the-top before but I predict the curtain will come down on him soon."

"Uhm…okay…thank you for your thoughts."

"You're welcome. You all can go home now. You have stayed much too long." She waves goodbye.

"We're going to call this a wrap now. We have stayed much too long."

Ana-Lena skips back inside the house and sits near the kitchen counter as her mother empties fresh snap peas into a bowl. Isabel looks over at her daughter.

"Oh, there you are. Where have you been?"

"Saying goodbye to the people outside."

Meanwhile, Palpatine is stunned that his audience is leaving so suddenly. He gets up and storms inside the house. He wags his gauze-bandaged finger as he enters the kitchen. Ana-Lena grabs hold of her mother's apron.

"Where is she?" He looks across the counter. "Aha! There you are. I know what you're up to. Just wait until I tell your father."

Isabel pulls her daughter close to her.

"Don't yell at my children. I warned you that you are a guest in my house."

"She said something to my guests to make them leave. I know it. Anakin will hear about this."

Isabel ignores him. The past two weeks have not been great. It was funny for the first 48 hours but not anymore. The old Sith has been using this time to his advantage. He gets used to the attention. After this most recent incident, Anakin decides to close the doors to the Skywalker 'Bed & Breakfast.' The faker is put in a taxi and sent on his way. The old man was only experiencing residual pain and not enough to warrant round the clock care. He complains to Anakin that the children were not on their best behavior during his convalescence.

The children made sure his stay is neither therapeutic nor peaceful. The youngsters, on a dare, tiptoe into the guestroom to watch him sleep. They find great joy in this. Alex and Li-An approach the bed first.

"I can't believe he has a hairdresser."

"Well, he has to; no one can keep a hairstyle like that after sleeping all night."

"He looks dead."

"Poke him…just to see."

Li-An takes a stylus from the nightstand and quickly pokes the 'corpse.'

"Hmmm…he's pale like a dead person but I think he's alive."

Alex is doubtful.

"I still think he's dead."

"Probably. It'll sure make Mom happy if he is."

"Let's cover him up." They pull the sheet over his face. Then run out of the room. The children hurry downstairs into the living room where their parents are sitting on the sofa.

"Mom. Dad. Grampalps is dead."

"What?"

Ana-Lena carries her doll under her arm.

"He's gone to a better place. Can we have a funeral and bury him in the garden now?"

Isabel stares at them in horror.

"Heaven's no! I told you kids to leave that man alone. Anakin, go see what's going on up there."

Li-An turns to his little sister, scoffing at her suggestion about disposal of the Sith.

"We can't bury him in the garden. He'll sour the soil and rot out the flowers mom planted."

Alex thinks for a moment.

"How about a toxic waste dump?"

"Dad will never go for it. I think he has a soft spot for the old guy."

Anakin walks upstairs and goes down the hall into the guestroom. The children stand in the doorway watching and giggling. He reaches for the sheet and lifts it just as the children tiptoe close behind him. Just as this happens, the old man bolts to a sitting position on the bed and gasps for air. Anakin steps back slowly. The children scream. Isabel is standing in the doorway as they run into her arms.

Anakin folds his arms across his chest.

"Are you staying in bed all day?"

"No. I think I'll go out on the terrace and read my script for my next film. What's for breakfast, I'll have it on the patio."

"It's cold breakfast day. Isabel is not your personal servant."

"And she's been an absolutely accommodating personal servant since my arrival." He sighs as if defeated. He sits on the side of the bed and glances at his hands. He only has bandages on individual fingers now; less than the full hand covering when he was first injured. "Well…I suppose I could manage on my own. My fingers don't feel so tingly and achy anymore."

"Good, you can go home then."

"You know, Anakin, I was thinking…you and Isabel need to get out more. I can stay and watch the little ones."

"How can you baby-sit when you're in so much pain?"

"But, Anakin, I've learned so much."

"No."

"I wasn't going to harm the little one. I was just watching him sleep."

The old man was doing more than watching the baby sleep. He wanted to know how he could harness the baby's powers. He had no idea that little Krizstan has round the clock guardians to protect him.

Mace Windu noticed the old man creeping into the nursery during the wee hours of the morning, leaning over the crib and studying the baby.

"What a powerful child you are. If only I could find a way to harness your powers as my own."

"What are you doing?"

The old man is startled as he turns to find the tall figure standing in the shadows.

"Oh! Anakin, it's you. I...I thought I heard the baby crying…yes…yes…that's it…"

"He never cries after we put him to bed. He sleeps through the night now."

"Oh…well…I guess I'll be heading back to my room now. Goodnight."

The old man shuffles out of the room and down the hall to his guest room. Anakin looks inside the crib and gently brushes his hand against the infant's face.

'_He's a good sleeper.'_

"How long did it take to get him to sleep through the night?"

'_Six months.'_

"Isabel is grateful to you for that. I'm grateful."

'_You want me to take care of the creature down the hall?"_

"No…I'll handle him. Thanks Master Windu."

'_You're welcome, Anakin.'_

Anakin has had enough of the old man. It is high time that he sends him on his way. The old guy can finish healing in his own home. He is tired of hearing how the children disrespect him and never call him by the same name.

Anakin has things to do like picking up a commencement gift for his son.

Isabel lets Anakin select the commencement gifts for their children. He is proud of his children's accomplishments. Selecting a gift to reward his children for hard work brings him great joy.

'_**Meant to Mentor'**_

The day of the event arrives. Luke picks up Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru at the Coruscant Spaceport. Anakin suggested to Owen that he should arrive for the event the day before. Owen, always wanting to save money takes the redeye instead. Anakin figure the man will never change. Owen thinks the same of Anakin.

Beru, on the other hand cannot wait to arrive. She adores the children and hopes Anakin will permit them to stay with them on Tatooine during the school break. Anakin is still concerned about Owen's attitude on child labor. He will have to think this through.

Obi-Wan meets Anakin in town.

"So, where are we going today, Anakin?"

"Through the hallowed halls of higher education." They drive over to the Coruscant University Medical Book and Supply Store. Anakin speaks to a clerk at the counter. Obi-Wan sees the clerk set a box on the counter and removes the lid.

"Anakin, Li-An can use this without a proper training or a license?"

"He's smart. I'm sure he'll be responsible. It will prepare him for the coming years."

"You've done well to encourage them to use their talents. So…how's it going with the old man?"

"We sent him home. Isabel had her fill of him. The children had a good time with him though."

"Really?"

"He was their _'test'_ subject."

"He allowed Ana-Lena to style his hair. Alex used him as a backup musician during playtime. I don't think the old man will pick up another pair of cymbals or a cowbell ever again."

"And how is our wunderkind, Krizstan?"

"Kris is holding his own. He can protect himself. The old man is terrified of him. Yoda is teaching the baby how to control his powers. He's so cute. What an angel."

"Yoda?"

"No! My son."

"Oh. Yes…He will surely give Palpatine a run for his money."

The sales clerk watches as Anakin examines the item in the box.

"What do you think, your Lordship?"

"I'll take it."

"Would you like it gift wrapped?"

"Yes, thank you." He hands the clerk his credit card.

The day of Li-An's commencement arrives. Everyone waits in the living room for him to walk out with his new Jedi robe. His grandparents lead the cheers. Nakai pats him on the shoulder.

"So, sport, ready to step across the threshold of becoming a grownup?"

"Well…when you put it like that, I think I'm starting to appreciate what I had as a Youngling. Where's Leia?"

Luke leans over to reassure his brother.

"She went to see the wedding planner. She called to say she'll meet you at the Jedi Temple."

Anakin looks on. He sees worry in his young son's eyes. He feels he should say something as well.

"She'll be there, Li. Your sister has always kept her word."

Isabel sweeps a lock of hair off his face. She uses a bit of sculpting gel to hold it in place. Two days before she convinced him to allow her to cut his hair to his chin so everyone could see the long Padawan braid hidden underneath that blond mane. His father tells his son that he looks 'cool' and Obi-Wan remarks that he looks quite the fashionable young Jedi. His grandfather Nakai agrees; and Nana Ouisanne tells him she can see his beautiful blue eyes now.

The family prepares to leave for the commencement exercises. Isabel makes certain that Kris has a long nap before they leave.

They arrive at the Jedi Temple ceremony room. Owen and Beru are there early. Luke was in no mood to argue with Owen about dropping their things off at the hotel. There simply was no time. Palpatine arrives by taxi. He winds up sitting beside Owen. Anakin and Isabel are in the row in front of them. The baby is looking over her shoulder laughing as Owen and Beru play a game of 'peek-a-boo' with him. Palpatine tries to join in but the baby starts to cry. Beru offers to take him out to the corridor and paces the floor with him. They sit on the bench overlooking the garden playing pat-a-cake. Gladys arrives and sees Aunt Beru in the corridor. Kris reaches for her.

"Hello, precious. Don't you look nice in your blue romper? You're almost walking."

Beru smiles and holds onto him. "Say 'Hello, Gladys.'"

Gladys takes him in her arms.

"This is a special day for your brother and you look so sweet. How about a kiss for Grammy Gladys." Kris blows her a kiss then rests his head on her shoulder. "Well, I'm going inside. You stay out here with your Auntie Beru and be the little angel that I know you are."

Back inside, Anakin glances over the program. There are 24 children being confirmed for commencement. Anakin is proud of his wife who has helped raise another brilliant Jedi. Anakin is relieved that the orange prison jumpsuit he had envisioned for his son is no longer in his future.

Members of the Jedi High Council file into the grand room lead by the illustrious Master Adi Gallia. Grand Master Yoda enters last followed by his graduates. These twenty-four have been chosen as the best candidates for Jedi Knighthood. Anakin is beaming when he sees his son enter the room with the others. The Jedi Priest says an opening prayer. Adi Gallia takes the podium and glances into the audience of the hopeful parents and guests.

"Good afternoon. As school chancellor and a fellow Jedi, I am impressed with each graduating class whether it is a Youngling promoted to Padawan or Padawan to knight, or, as a Jedi Master, you keep topping yourselves. You are bright, energetic, ambitious, and talented individuals who will go far. This graduating class is no exception. I am certain that the parents in the audience agree."

As the esteemed Jedi Master makes her opening speech, Anakin cannot help but feel his emotions welling up inside. He is blessed to have such wonderful children. With this said, Anakin also feels this happy moment being overshadowed. Leia.

Isabel tries to be inconspicuous as she turns towards the doors in the back of the room. The other family members do the same. Nakai leans over to Luke.

"Where's Leia?"

Luke shrugs.

"I'm sure she's on her way."

Just then, Han arrives as the ceremony begins and takes an empty place in the row with Owen, Beru, and Palpatine. Luke turns and sees him. He mouths _'Where's Leia?'_ Han points to himself and mouths, _'I don't know!'_

The next speaker at the podium praises the children and gives a speech about sacrifice and honor. Li-An is a bit distracted. The sponsor box is full but one seat is empty. He sighs as he waits for his sister to appear. The announcer calls the students in alphabetical order and their sponsor. There is still time for Leia to make a good showing. The Council has just called on the fourth child and they are only up to the letter 'E'.

Anakin is growing anxious. His daughter is nowhere in the building. Gladys gently pats Anakin on his hand. Isabel is concerned too but her feet are hurting and she wants to sit.

Meanwhile, across town, Leia is flipping through pages of a gift catalog.

"These pendants are nice for the flower girls. What else do you have?"

Mr. Theodore presents her with another gift catalog.

"Oh, I have _sumsing_ absolutely fabulous! You'll love it! Geonosian pink amber und pearl charm bracelets."

He proceeds to show her variations of the charm bracelets. She patiently listens while thinking that something is amiss.

"Li-An!"

The planner smiles at her.

"Li-An…Is that one of your attendants?"

Leia frantically gathers her things.

"I have to go!"

Back at the ceremony, the students with the last names starting with 'M' to 'O' are being called and their sponsors step forward to speak for them. Anakin is growing angry because there are only two more students ahead of Li-An.

By the time these students are called, Li-An still has no sponsor. He remains stoic and hides his embarrassment. This is no time for a budding Jedi to cry. The speaker presents the next student.

"The next student is Li-An Jinn Skywalker and sponsor Le…"

Li-An hesitates for a moment then makes his way to the lectern when Luke hurries up to stand beside him. Just as Li-An begins to present Luke as his sponsor, the side door opens and Leia hurries up to take her place beside her brother. She had just finished tying her Jedi robe and smoothing her hair before entering the room. Luke exchanges a glance with his sister, nods, and then quietly steps in the background. Leia smiles down at her younger brother feeling somewhat embarrassed. _'Sorry,_' She Force speaks to him.Anakin looks at Li-An then breathes a sigh of relief. If he didn't ruin his career as a Jedi, he could have possibly been a sponsor for his son and this awkward moment would never have happened.

Master Thracia Cha-Leem announces Li-An again.

"Jedi Knight Candidate Li-An Jinn Skywalker, what aspect of the Jedi Code will you focus on in your endeavor to become a Jedi Knight?"

"Jedi respect all life, in any form. I want to study and excel in the physical and mental health of all beings."

"And who is your sponsor today and in what way is she supporting you?"

"Jedi Leia Amidala Skywalker. She is dependable and helpful. She is an excellent tutor and respects the Jedi Laws. I am fortunate to have her as my sponsor."

"Jedi Leia Skywalker, have you to the best of your ability trained your Youngling mentee in the ways of the Jedi?"

"Yes, Master, I have. Li-An is ready to become a Padawan and has excelled in all the preliminary exams on the road to becoming a Jedi."

"And what Jedi Knight have you chosen as his trainer during Li-An's Padawan years?"

"I have selected Jedi Knight Kyp Durron, Master."

"The Council hereby accepts your recommendation. Youngling graduate Li-An Jinn, please step forward to receive your certificate of completion of Youngling Levels and your Honors Commendation."

Leia watches as her brother receive his official papers and his Youngling graduate pin. Li-An looks at the pin on the lapel of his robe. He smiles. Leia receives her sponsorship certificate. Kyp Durron steps up beside his new trainee. Adi Gallia steps up to them.

"Jedi Knight Durron, raise your right hand. Do you pledge to guide this Padawan through trains and up to his Jedi trials to the best of your abilities?"

"I pledge to do so, Master."

Jedi High Council members Nejaa Halcyon and Obi-Wan Kenobi hand out new light sabers to each student. The children had designed their own hilt then submitted them to Council to be fitted with a real lightsaber blade. Obi-Wan has the great honor of presenting one of the new lightsabers to Li-An.

"Congratulations, Godson."

Li-An whispers back. "Thanks, Uncle Ben." He bows.

Master Halcyon reminds the newly appointed Padawans that although these are not professional lightsabers they are real nonetheless and should be used with great care and respect. Li-An tucks his into his belt. As he walks back to his place in the line with the other students. He smiles out at the audience at his father and discreetly gives a double 'thumbs up.' Anakin winks back with a reciprocal gesture.

Li-An also receives one of several prizes offered to the students. Jedi High Council Use of the Force Award. The trophy is in the shape of a 6-inch crystal sphere with an energy field enclosed and rests on a removable platinum base. It comes with a matching platinum storage box.

Yoda stands with the students after all the awards are handed out to the graduates.

"Many years have I spent training Younglings in the way of the Force. Just when I think these rugrats are about to disappoint me, rise to greatness they always do. Now twenty-four new candidates for Jedi Knighthood to present you I have."

Adi Gallia smiles and speaks again.

"Thank you, Grand Master Yoda. You have done a splendid job once more. Your guidance, and years of exemplary training has not gone unnoticed. The other members of the Jedi High Council would like to present you with the Inter-Galactic Award for Excellence in Teaching."

Two advanced level Padawans in their teens present the award to Master Yoda. He accepts the framed plaque. As the audience applauds. Adi Gallia speaks again.

"One moment. Master Yoda, your graduating students would like to present you with a gift of their appreciation."

She presents him with a gumball dispenser filled with Reese's Pieces. Yoda quickly hands his plaque to the nearest student and grabs hold of the dispenser. He gazes blissfully at the new gift that is filled to capacity with the sweet treats. The dispenser is almost half his size.

"Oooohh….sweet! Thanks!"

Adi Gallia is somewhat amused by the Jedi Master's joy with his gift. She smiles then addresses the audience once more.

"I would just like to say one more thing. It warms my heart to see all of the supportive parents, family, and friends in the audience today. You are the reason we have twenty-four remarkable students standing before you today. I also want to give yourselves a round of applause for all your hard work. There are refreshments in the garden where you may meet up with your young graduates. The High Jedi Council, Grand Master Yoda, and I will be available to chat with you then. Again, I present you with this year's class of new Confirmed Padawans. Thank you. The ceremony has ended. Go in peace."

The twenty-four graduates bow in respect to the Jedi High Council and the Jedi Priest who gives a blessing to the children, faculty, and guests.

Li-An and his fellow classmates file into the garden. Li-An runs to his mother.

"Mom! Hi! Look at what I got!"

Isabel embraces her firstborn.

"Oh, Honey, Mommy's so proud of you. You did great!"

"My hair didn't get in my face. The hair gel was a good idea."

"Want me to hold these for you?"

"Let me show Dad first." He sees his father heading in his direction. Anakin had stopped briefly while Li-An and Leia have their holograph taken by the Jedi staff holographer. She sees her father heading into the garden with the family. She knows her lateness has not gone unnoticed. Li-An leaps into his father's arms. Anakin kisses him then looks over at his daughter before focusing on his son again.

"Congratulations, sport."

"Did you see my new lightsaber, Dad? It's a real one."

"Well, look at you…you're growing up."

"Well, maybe you should put me down now before the little kids lose respect for me."

"Oh, well, I don't want you to lose the respect of your brethren; perish the thought. You have Younglings looking up to you."

"Yeah, but I don't want them looking up to me like this. You know how kids are."

"I sure do."

Li-An in on solid ground now. Anakin takes the certificates and award from his son who is ready to conquer the galaxy. Li-An sees the rest of his family. His grandfather Nakai walks up to him. They salute.

"Good afternoon Padawan Skywalker."

"Good afternoon, Shipmaster Nor."

"You look might fine, son."

"Thanks, Grandpop."

Ouisanne reaches out to her grandchild and gives him a warm hug.

"Here's our little genius. My aren't we the handsome one today?"

"Thanks, Nana." He looks around and sees his two uncles Philippe and Stephan. His aunts and cousins will see him later at his luncheon.

Han walks over to the Padawan newbie.

"Hey, pal, congratulations."

"Thanks."

Ana-Lena and Alex crowd around their brother.

"Were you nervous up there with all those Jedi Masters?"

"No. It was actually kind of cool."

"So, does this mean you're the boss of us now?"

"Well…technically, you are still Younglings…a Jedi can't show favoritism. I may have to ask for my own room now."

Alex is disappointed.

"Really? We can't play Crazy Eights or Game pod after bedtime anymore?"

"We'll see."

Ana-Lena puts her arm around Alex.

"That's okay, Alex, you can play with me."

Alex pulls away.

"I'm not playing with you and your silly dolls."

"I'm telling Daddy."

Li-An decides to quiet both of them.

"Alright, calm down you two…I suppose I'll still have time to hang out with you small fry."

Ana-Lena cheers.

"Yea!"

"Okay, keep it down. I have to mingle before we leave."

A dark presence approaches them.

"Oh, Li-An! Li-An!"

Li-An turns as he is about to head over to see Master Yoda. Yoda is taping the gumball dispenser with his gimer stick. He is becoming quite frustrated. Li-An is distracted by the dark shadow stalking him in the garden. The hairs on the back of his neck stand on end as he turns to face the creature.

"Oh, hi, Grampalps."

"Nice ceremony. Your father was just showing me your awards. Congratulations, my boy."

"Thanks."

"Nice lightsaber you have there. May I see it?"

"A Jedi never hands out his weapon. It's not a toy."

"Oh…I know that. I used to own one but your father took it away…" He sighs heavily then glances over at the child wistfully. "I used to be powerful once. Alas…I must live out my twilight years without the power I once had."

"You know what, Grampalps; this is not the day to throw yourself a pity party. This is my day you know."

"Oh, of course, of course…" He strolls around the garden with the boy cautiously looking around. He smiles in his coy way placing a pale old hand on the Padawan's shoulder. "Li-An, have you heard of the great Darth Plagueis the Wise?"

Li-An slows down for a second then says something that shocks the old man.

"Oh, yes! My father told me all about that crackpot. He also told me that his power-hungry apprentice murdered him in his sleep. What a psychopath! Palps, you should focus on your ham-acting career and forget all about those ghouls and legends of the past. It will turn you to the dark side you silly man." He playfully shoves the old man with his elbow and laughs.

"Yes, yes…I suppose you're right. What a clever young man you are."

They have strayed away from the main area of the courtyard. Someone calls to them.

"Li-An? Oh, Li-An!"

"Coming, Aunt Beru! Excuse me, Gramps; I have to go...see you later."

Li-An hurries back to the crowd. The family is heading to the restaurant for Li-An's Padawan Communion feast. Palpatine trails behind trying to keep up.

Meanwhile, Master Yoda is becoming agitated as he struggles with the gumball machine filled with the Reese's Pieces he cannot seem to get out. Han Solo watches the grumbling old Jedi. Luke walks over.

"Take it easy… what's the matter?"

"What sort of device is this which cannot be opened?"

Luke grins sheepishly.

"Master Yoda, did I just hear you say the word 'can't'? Shocking. That is why you failed." He giggles to himself. Kyp and Leia try not to laugh but they cannot help themselves. Han tries to help set the dispenser upright on a nearby table. Yoda whacks him with the gimer stick.

"Ow! Hey! We're just trying to help you out, old fella."

"How does one gain nourishment from such a device?"

Luke holds Yoda away from the gumball dispenser. Yoda gets one more good whack at it then lets out a sigh of frustration. Leia covers her mouth laughing. Luke looks at Yoda feeling a bit guilty for laughing. He reaches for the turnkey on the machine.

"Yoda, you need to insert a coin." He digs into his pocket and pulls out a 10 centime piece. Kyp and Luke look at one another.

"A Jedi has no possessions, no need for coins!"

Kyp rolls his eyes.

"What planet are you on, old man? This isn't the olden days when you were young. Were you ever young? Anyway, I still have three more payments on my speeder and you can't go on a date for less than 150 credits. Jedi chicks are the worst when it comes to making you spend money."

Leia takes offense.

"Hey!"

"Oh, Leia, you know it to be true."

Han agrees.

"Kyp, you've got that right. Ow!" Leia elbows him in the stomach.

Yoda watches as the sweets pour down the dispenser chute.

"What use is money-eating machine? Where get coins?" He gobbles up the brightly colored morsels.

Han smirks.

"Haven't you heard of a gag gift before, old guy? Those little brats played you."

"What? Those little monsters! For eight years, I trained those young ones. Cruel game they play on Jedi Master. No more favors they get from me. Fix them I will. Yesss…Too much MTV they watch. Hmmm…."

Kyp laughs. "I think they've been watching episodes of _'Hoth Pranksters'_ on the Jedi Archive computers during study hall. You've been pranked old man."

Luke offers to carry the gumball machine for the Jedi Master.

"Want us to take this to your office, Master Yoda?"

"Yes…yes…take it upstairs. Wait. More…more!"

"Calm down…let me put another coin in first. Hey, everyone, hand me all your loose change."

Luke gathers the coins and pours them into a small leather pouch. They follow Luke and Yoda up to the Jedi Master's office and set the gumball machine on the coffee table beside the five potted marigold flowers given to him over the years by his younglings. They are about to wait for him to give him a ride to the party, but Yoda tells them he will arrive later. They leave the Jedi Temple. Yoda 'practices' using the dispenser.

Leia decides to say something as they head for the courtyard to the parking bays.

"Luke, why didn't you guys tell him he could just us the Force to trip the mechanism so he doesn't have to search for coins?"

"Yoda's smart. He'll figure it out when he gets frustrated enough."

Kyp giggles.

"It's more fun watching him curse the machine and feed it coins."

Han watches them.

"Don't you think it's wrong to do that at his expense?"

"He'll get over it."

They head over to the luncheon. Leia has been trailing behind the rest of the family because she knows she is due for a tongue-lashing from Papa-Sith. She saw the expression on his face during the ceremony. She decides to duck her father for as long as possible.

The sun drenched party room that Anakin rents is located on courtyard side of Romeo Treblanc's Coruscant Garden on the Square Restaurant. It is still business as usual in the main restaurant area. It caters to the trendy lunch and dinner crowd but they are also a popular event venue for family parties, proms, and Jedi celebration luncheons. The area is virtually soundproofed so celebrity-seekers and curious nosy diners never crash the private parties.

An almond flavored cake is on display on a large round table. The cake is a work of art, created to resemble the Jedi Temple with real illuminated spires and the Jedi emblem etches into the entrance of the structure. The delicate cake is filled with Felucia orange and mango curd. The entire cake is enrobed with fondant icing and Chantilly cream.

The menu is simple by comparison due to the number of children attending. The children dine on lightly breaded duck slices with plum dipping sauce, baked Tatooine sweet potato curly fries and red cole slaw with mango and lime chutney. The adults dine on soft-shelled Naboo crab, cole slaw, shaak medallions with flavored rice, and mixed garden vegetables. A variety of appetizers and sweets are served around the room.

Li-An is enjoying himself sitting at the center of the table with the grown ups. Alex and Ana-Lena sit with their cousins, behaving as children often do at these events. Krizstan is happy sitting in Aunt Beru's arms slurping water from the tall glass on the table.

The only alcohol at the party is limited to champagne and ale. Obi-Wan lists this as the driest event he has ever attended in the past eight to ten years. The children are drinking blue milk, water, and Rodia soda. Li-An wants something fizzy so he can make a toast.

Li-An sees someone he has not seen for awhile. He breaks into a big smile and leaps into the arms of his old friend.

"Jar-Jar! You came! I thought you didn't get my invitation."

"Hallo Jedi boy! Meesa never forget to see Padawan wild child! Yousa be much taller now. Can't fit in Old Sith Kidnap pocket no more!" He whispers to Li-An. "Wheresa be old timey powerless Sith Lord Gram pappy?"

"He's mingling somewhere around the room. He baby-sits for us sometimes."

"Holy cheese and crackers! Yousa musta break old Palpy's spirit like a tired old animal."

"He's actually kinda fun sometimes. I think there's a soft spot deep down inside somewhere."

"Yeah…old vegetables have soft spots too but they're still rotten."

"I guess…Hey; you're coming to Leia's wedding, aren't you?"

"Yes. Meesa get invitation. Your father must really love Nerfherder now."

"He getting used to the idea. Come on, let's go play."

"Okiday!"

Leia meanwhile is still trying to duck her father. She finds a safe place to sit where her father won't readily approach her. She pulls out a chair and takes a seat.

"Hey Palps, are you having a nice time?"

"I'm having a lovely time now that you're here, my dear. Avoiding someone, are we?" He smiles and smoothes his pale fingers over the tablecloth. Leia doesn't look at him directly when she responds.

"What? Me? Never! That's not why I'm here." She rifles through her purse and takes out a compact to check her makeup. "So, wasn't Li-An just wonderful today?"

"Well, of course! My grandchildren excel in everything they do. I have never thought much of these Jedi rituals but the more I attend them, the more I seem to enjoy them. I believe it's because it's all about Anakin being proud of his accomplishments. Raising you and Luke practically on his own and then that lovely Isabel coming into his life and giving him four more children…it almost warms my heart."

"Well, it's true. Dad is happy."

"And of course there are the upcoming nuptials with you and…what's his name? Nerfball?"

"Han!"

"Oh, yes…yes! Of course,…you have been quite preoccupied with your wedding. You almost forgot your brother…not a very good Jedi quality I might add."

"Listen, old man! I feel just horrible about it. I never intended to be late. Things…happened. Oh…gramps. You just don't understand!" She breaks down and sobs on his shoulder. He reaches over to blot the tears away from the brocade fabric of his maroon smoking jacket.

"There…there now…being self-serving is not exactly a bad thing…certainly not a Jedi attribute…they think so highly of themselves. But you, Leia…you show a refreshing side of yourself…We can be great friends you and I….Have I ever told you about Darth Plagueis the Wise…?"

Leia lifts her head from his shoulder as she dabs her eyes with her handkerchief.

"What? Oh please! Get away from me with that nonsense, you crazy old coot! Ewww!"

She pulls away and walks across the room to one of the other tables. A crowd of party guests stands around so she cannot see to whom they are listening. Some are sipping champagne, and others are eating slices of the delicate orange and almond celebration cake.

As she makes her way to the front, she finds Obi-Wan, Nakai, and Anakin sitting at the table as if they are rock stars holding a press conference. Anakin is telling a story about a boating trip he had taken with Nakai and Obi-wan. There is raucous laughter in the crowd as Anakin finishes telling his version of the event of attacking what he thought was a dangerous sea creature but turned out to be an old seaweed covered remnant of a raft. Anakin explains in his panic how he continually pounded it with his oar. While he unleashed his aggression, Nakai and Obi-Wan watched and sipped beer. They waited until Anakin plops back down from exhaustion.

"So, after thrashing at the thing for a good three minutes, all my good old father-in-law could say is, _'It looks dead now.'_ Obi-Wan is sitting in the boat howling his ass off, _'Ani, we still need a second oar. I had to dive in after the oar so we could paddle back up the river_.'"

Anakin sees his daughter in the crowd and slowly rises from him chair. He addresses his audience.

"Will you excuse me for a moment?" He heads out with his daughter into the garden near some empty tables.

"Dad? I'm sorry I screwed up."

"I should say so. This was Li-An's special day. You should have seen his face when he was standing alone before the entire Jedi High Council, his classmates and audience watching him. It was a good thing Luke stepped up when he did."

"I'm really sorry. I feel just terrible about it, Daddy. I'm going to talk to him when he's done playing with his friends. I have been thoughtless and immersed in my own world. I let you down. I let my brother down on the most important day of his young life."

"Leia, you're my daughter and I love you dearly but don't ever forget your family. I know you're preparing for a new life away from us. He still looks up to you. He didn't choose anyone else to be his sponsor. He chose you. He was looking forward to seeing you receive a sponsor's certificate to fulfill your requirements for knighthood. You have the credits, Leia. I have always respected your career choice but I at least wanted you to earn your knighthood."

"Thank you, Daddy."

"Love you too, sweet pea."

They embrace.

Just before the party ends, Leia grabs her little brother and takes him to a quiet spot in the far corner of the room. Li-An was having a good time engaging in some childish horseplay with his friends and cousins.

"Why are we all the way over here?"

"I want to talk to you about something…where it's quiet."

"Why? You're not going to get all mushy with me and stuff, are you? ...because Aunt Beru already did that. Then Uncle Owen handed me a gift. It was a pair of overalls and a gift card to Farmer's Depot. Apparently, he doesn't have much hope in me becoming a Jedi. He thinks I should be prepared for the disappointment in the event I don't make it. He says it's a reliable profession to fall back on."

"Uncle Owen means well but he just doesn't get it. You already passed to become a Jedi. Be careful with him. I think he's looking for some extra farmhands."

They laugh.

"It's ok. It might be kind of fun to fool around on his farm for a couple of weeks."

"No…It's not. Luke almost got the nickname 'Cool Hand Luke.' When he was twelve. Anything good happen today during your party?"

"Oh! You know what was really cool? Aunt Bunny was bending over to tie Alex's shoe and I got a full view of her hooters!"

"Li!"

"What?" He smiles his most mischievous grin. "Uncle Ben looks at them. He says they're spectacular, and he's right!"

Leia laughs and kisses the top of his head.

"Oh, Li, you're growing up so fast. You little letch. I remember the day you were born. You were so tiny and beautiful and helpless. I love you so much." He hugs him.

"Oh-oh…Leia, you're starting to get all mushy on me. How can I become a powerful Jedi if you start slopping all over me?"

Leia laughs again. Her eyes well up.

"Oh, Li, you're so funny, but seriously, I want to apologize for being late today. I am so sorry. There was no excuse. I didn't intend on ruining your day. Can you forgive me?"

"Did Dad make you come over here to apologize?"

"No, it wasn't anything like that. I just want to make sure we're good. Once I get married, I won't see your beautiful face at the breakfast table. I won't be there to watch you make that disgusting concoction of waffles, chocolate, and peanut butter."

"I can visit, can't I?"

"Well yes, of course, but it won't be like home."

"I can come over and make you disgusted so you won't feel homesick."

"That's my little brother, always thinking of others."

"Leia, I knew you would show up today. I'm still glad I had you as my sponsor. You could sure set a fire under me to get me motivated. Luke is tough, but you're scary."

"Gee…thanks…how sweet."

"It's an honest compliment."

She messes his blond hair. Music starts playing.

"Li, remember this song? Luke and I used to sing it to you when you were a baby to keep you entertained."

"Hey, I'm too old for that song now…but it does have a catchy tune…"

Leia nudges Li-An to urge him on. They start to sing.

Her name was Oola, she was a showgirl

With green tentacles for her hair and a dress cut down to there

She would Margengai and do the cha-cha

And while she tried to be a star, Wuher always tended bar

Across a crowded floor, he worked with C2-R4

Cocktails made so potent

Makes you fall to the floor!

At the Eisley, Mos Eisley Cantina

The hottest spot near Dune Sea Marina

At the Eisley, Mos Eisley Cantina

Music and corruption were always in motion

At the Mos Eisley...it was a dump!

(Eisley, Mos Eisley Cantina)

His name was Jabba he wore no sunscreen

He was escorted to a lair, he saw Oola dancin' there

And when she finished, he dragged her over

But Jabba went a bit too far, Wuher sailed across the bar

And then the punches flew and arms were smashed in two

There was drool and a blaster shot

But just who shot who?

At the Eisley, Mos Eisley Cantina

The hottest spot near Dune Sea Marina

At the Eisley, Mos Eisley Cantina

Bad music and corruption were always in motion

At the Cantina...she kissed a slug

(Eisley) don't kiss the slug

Mos Eisley Cantina

Mos Eisley Cantina

Soon most of the party guests gravitate to where they are sitting and join in. The M.C. Jonni Faytonni hands a karaoke mike to one of the guests.

"Step up, folks! Everybody gets to sing whether you want to or not. We have the waiters locking the doors so no one escapes embarrassment…just kidding! We'll just keep following you until you give up. I see my good friend Red Menace Barbie is here. Her boyfriend says she sings like a bird…yeah…right…a Sea Shrike! That must sound romantic. Sooo…who's next? We have to keep this going…you know what? Little Red, get up here. Don't try to resist. One, two, three…go!"

Mara giggles for a moment. Luke laughs but urges her to sing. She begins to sing. She is off-key as she thinks of lyrics to sing. She adds body movements as she croons her way through the first two lines.

Luke's mouth drops open. It is painfully to watch.

His name was Lu-Lu, he was a cute boy

He has a surfboard on his ship and a lightsaber on his hip

Kyp heckles her.

"Booo! Oh, God, my ears are bleeding! Make her stop! Heehehee!"

Jar-Jar puts his fingers in his ears.

"Red Barbie, sheesa singing like Bantha in heat. Meesa can't take no more."

Li-An laughs.

"Where's the gong?"

Jonni Faytonni grins.

"My Junior Jedi, you're in luck. I just happen to have a gong for you. Please do the honors."

Li-An takes the gong hammer. Kyp Durron and Kyle Katarn yell to him.

"Li-An, hurry up before we all suffer! Squawk…squawk! "

Li-An bangs the gong. Mara steps away from the mike.

"Thanks a lot, Li-An!" Luke is laughing. "Be quiet, Lu-Lu! I didn't get any support from you."

"Awww. Sorry. Heehee." Luke grabs her around her waist and holds her. They sway to the music. Everyone waits for the next person up at the mike.

The lyrics change as different names are inserted. Threepio is excited when it is his turn to be included. Artoo downloads his lines to the karaoke monitor. Everyone sings his lyrics. The crowd has a good laugh as each person bungles the song. Anakin resists until he has no choice but to sing a verse.

"Oh, 'sith'...oops sorry…Okay…here we go."

Her name was Isa, Isa-b-el

With gorgeous raven hair and a dress to make you stare

She would nag me to do the laundry

And while I tried to hide from her, Skippy helped to track me down

Across the first floor, I hid behind the door

Watching Live Pod racing

On Channel CO-4!

Isabel wags her finger at him.

"I never did that! Li-An, gong him!"

Li-An is torn. He giggles as the crowd eggs him on. Anakin points to his son not to do it. Li-An does it anyway and braces for the repercussions.

Luke and Mara blow finger whistles and laugh hysterically. Han laughs loudest. Anakin glares at him. Han abruptly stops. It is soon Obi-Wan's turn.

"Hold on, I need a drink for this." Nakai shoves him up to the mike.

"Go on! Get up there!" He takes the glass of ale from the Jedi Master.

Her name was Bunny, she was a showgirl

With red ribbons her hair and a dress slit up to there

She would shimmy and do the pole-twirl

And while she tried to be a star, I was always at the bar

Across a crowded floor, the guys yelled more, more, more!

The place was so damned crowded

The bouncers locked the door!

Ana-Lena looks up at her father who covers her ears to guard against her hearing the spicy lyrics.

"What's a pole-twirl, Daddy?"

"Uhm…she was a majorette in high school, sweet pea."

"I think I want to try that when I go to high school."

The singing is loud enough that Ana-Lena does not hear what her father says next.

"Over my dead body."

Kyp Durron stands with Leia. She can barely catch her breath she is laughing so hard. Palpatine rolls his eyes.

"Silly song!" He waves his hand and steps away to avoid being called.

Yoda arrives late since he tries to make all twenty-four celebrations. He and his assistant walk into the room during the sing-along.

"Wildest party I knew this to be. Saved the craziest for last I did."

The four Force Ghost nod to the beat of the music. Qui Gon looks at Mace.

'_How come no one asked us to make up a verse? I like Karaoke.'_

'_Oh, yeah, right. All the 'regular' guests would love that.'_

'They wouldn't hear us.'

'_You're right. That wouldn't be any fun. Nothing clears the room faster than a bunch of Force Ghosts appearing and scaring the crap out of people.'_

After the sing-along, 'Aunt' Bunny hands Li-An his Padawan Communion gift.

"Oh, Li, Sugar, Aunt Bunny got you a little something. I had to get it out of Ben's speeder."

"Wow! Thanks, Aunt Bunny."

"You're welcome, Honey.

Written on the gift card:

_Li-An,_

_Happy Communion Sug._

_Love,_

_Aunt Bunny_

_n.b. 'Not a Game Pod'_

He quickly unwraps the gift. "Cool!" He smiles as he takes the object out of the box. Leia helps him.

"I want to wear it now."

Leia helps put the field watch with the Jedi emblem on the face. The inscription on the back reads:

'_Congrats, Pad Grad!'_

_Luv, A.B._

"This is super, Aunt Bunny."

"I'm glad you like it, Honey."

Li-An opens his other gifts. He receives a pair of night vision binoculars and a Hush-100 COM link from Luke; and a prime berthing location for his boat, or any vessel of his choosing at the port near Theed Palace on Naboo from Leia. It is near a parcel of land willed to her in her birth mother's estate.

The last three gifts he opens are from Obi-Wan, his maternal grandparents, and his parents. He receives Jedi Nunaskin bound logbook for future travels and experiences he will have and a navigator's compass. His maternal grandparents give him money, a new boat and boating gear and clothes. The last gift on the table is wrapped in Jedi paper and ties with a gold grosgrain ribbon. He smiles up at his parents.

"I think I can guess what this is." He opens the box and can barely disguise the excitement on his face. "I really love it, Dad. Thanks, Mom. You're the best parents in the galaxy." He kisses his mother.

"You're welcome sweetie."

"What about me?"

"Well, of course you're great Dad." He offers his hand to his father. Anakin pretends to be insulted.

"Oh, I don't get a kiss? Just a handshake?"

"Let's keep this professional, Dad." They shake hands. Anakin looks at everyone. He has a big smile on his face as he points to his son. He playfully puts his hands around his neck.

"You see this kid? Why I oughta…Just don't let me get a letter from school about you playing doctor with the girls in class."

"I can't put anything pass you, Dad. I'll try to stay out of trouble as much as humanly possible. I'm still a minor so I can't be held responsible for my bad judgment until after I'm 18. This is a nice stethoscope…and my initials are on it too."

As Isabel, her mother and Aunt Bunny clear the wrapping paper from the table, Li-An and his sibling gather around to marvel over his gifts. Anakin gathers all the cash filled envelopes.

Li-An drifts away from his admiring 'fans' with his stethoscope around his neck. He is enjoying this moment alone. He walks over to one of the glass doors leading to the outside. He loves his new gift.

"Hey, grampalps, having a good time?"

"Nice little party you had today."

"Yep. It was great." He is still examining his new gift.

"What a handsome gift, young Skywalker."

"Yeah, I like it a lot."

"Hmmm…My gift pales in comparison. I'm afraid I was not very imaginative when it came time to select a present for you. Your Grandfather Nakai built you an amazing boat with his own hands. As you well know, I am not handy at all."

"You make a decent grilled cheese sandwich. That's handy; besides, money is always a welcome gift. I sure appreciate it. Thank you again, Grampalps."

"Don't mention it. Sooo…how does that thing work?" He points to the stethoscope around Li-An's neck.

"You want me to check your heart rate?"

"Oh, yes! Please. It would be a privilege."

Li-An inserts the earpiece then places the bowl-shaped end against the old man's chest.

"Ok. Breathe in…hold it…release….hmmm."

"What's wrong?"

"I didn't find a heartbeat."

"What? That's bad, isn't it?"

"Ha-ha-ha! Just joking, Gramps. Relax, I can hear your heart."

Palpatine smiles then touches Li-An's Padawan braid.

"That was better than the exam in the hospital. What great bedside manner you have. You are a consummate physician. You're a wonderful young man."

"I'm only eight."

"But you are mature beyond your years. You are going to be a great person."

"Really?"

"Really. I can feel it."

The old man pats his chest then closes his shirt. Alex, Ana-Lena, and their cousins run outside during a game of tag. They see Palpatine and Li-An sitting in the bench. Alex calls his brother.

"Li, come play."

Palpatine nudges hum.

"What are you sitting here for? You're still a child. Go play."

"Hold my stethoscope for me?"

"Of course."

Alex and Ana-Lena wave to him.

"See you later, Gramps!"

He waves back to them. He looks up at the sky. It is almost twilight. He stands and walks back inside. Anakin is thanking some of the guests who are leaving. Palpatine hands him the stethoscope. Anakin is thinking that Li-An is being careless with his gifts but the old man explains first.

"I asked your son if I could see his wonderful gift. He asked me to make sure I returned it to you for safe keeping."

"Thanks."

"Fine boy you have."

"I know."

"He reminds me of someone who always wanted to help others since he was a small boy."

"So, how come you didn't join in on the Karaoke?"

"I have to save my voice for my performance next week."

"Coward."

"Sticks and stones, Anakin."

The old man walks off, nose in air. He has a faint smile on his face.

That evening, Anakin brings his troops home. Isabel says goodnight to the children. Soon everyone is in bed. Anakin visits Li-An last.

"So, my Padawan, did you have a good time today?"

"Yep! It was the best ever! Sorry about giving you the gong at the party." He is wearing the stethoscope and checks his own pulse.

"You did what you felt was right. Apology accepted."

Li-An then presses the stethoscope against his father's chest to listen to his heartbeat. He gestures for his father to be quiet for a moment. Anakin speaks again when Li-An is done.

"In several years, you'll be a Jedi knight. How are we going to top this, little guy?"

"Hmmm…I don't know…We could have the party at Aunt Bunny's club."

"Why you cheeky little devil! Sorry, but that won't happen. We're not going to send graduation invitations to your grandparents and Jedi High Council for graduation dinner at the 'Bunny Hutch.'"

"Is that your final answer?"

"That's my final answer." He takes the stethoscope.

"Thanks for everything, Dad." He reaches for his father to kiss him.

"You made me proud, son. Get some sleep." He places the stethoscope back in the box on Li-An's dresser.

"Good night."

"Good night."

'_**Journey Down the Green Mile'**_

Li-An's event was just a placeholder to fend off the inevitable. It slowed things down a bit, but not for long.

As the weeks pass, Anakin sees the reality of his oldest daughter quickly slipping away from him. First, there is the bridal shower hosted by Gladys. Anakin feels she is aiding and abetting the swift removal of his daughter from the home she has known most of her life. He stops speaking to Gladys for what seems to feel like a lifetime, but it is actually 24 hours after it is over. Gladys does not mind. She knew he was going to act pouty. Anakin could not stay angry with Gladys. He just wants her to feel guilty. The next time he sees her he treats her to lunch.

Everyone at the house tries to tiptoe around the wedding issue. Thank-you cards and wedding invitations lay in stacks on the foyer table for mailing or as incoming mail. Anakin treats all mail like kryptonite unless his wife places it in his study. Isabel starts to write notes on post-its so he will feel comfortable about opening his mail such as, 'Non-festive correspondence,' 'sports-related', and 'child's report card'.

It seems silly to do this but it was the only way to keep some level of sanity in the house. She also got a kick out of thinking how many ways to write the notes. It was actually fun. She does it with his food too.

Poor Anakin. It was pity-party time at the Skywalker home again. Isabel treats him to a day at the spa on Rodian Drive. Anakin feels better until he hears two of the attendants outside the treatment room discuss a schedule for a bridal spa party. Isabel makes him wear an E Pod just to filter out any 'wedding talk.' Anakin does not wish to think about the walk down the green mile.

Meanwhile, Han has to face his greatest challenge; testing a friendship. He is waiting until the day before the wedding to spring it on his best friend. He reminds himself what he is about to do is all in the name of love. There are also other issues at hand: The return of Professor and Mrs. Solo. They are going to arrive a week before the wedding. He must decide if they will stay with him or the luxury hotel in town. Either way, he is going to have to be careful whom he leaves them with when he is not around. He may regret what he is about to do.

This is going to be a _thunderball _of a bumpy ride.

Whether it is the green mile or the green aisle…it is still like the walk of death for both men. Han may go more gracefully than the father of the bride. Anakin will panic like a poor convict heading for the gallows, kicking, and screaming as he is dragged 39 steps to the end. He is told that the walk is painless. He will have to trust all those who had gone before him.

_To be continued…'Hair Today Gone Tomorrow'_


	134. Chapter 134 Dead Scoundrel Walking

_Chapter 134_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_The Journey Down the Green Mile…Dead Scoundrel Walking'_

'_Sithfinger'_

'_Goodnight, My Love'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_**Extracurricular Activities'**_

Leia opted out of a bachelorette party. She thought Han would do the same. Leia instead gets a surprise spa party with her cousins, and the other bridesmaids.

Han is unaware of the plans his pals have for him. He never realizes how much fun it could be to have a celebration as he leaves the hallowed halls of bachelorhood. Lando organizes the festivities. When Leia gets wind of the impending 'boys night out', she lays some ground rules. She makes Lando promise that the party is held before the rehearsal dinner, which means the guys and their lascivious little friends have up to two days before the wedding to 'enjoy' themselves. She refuses to be humiliated on the day of her wedding with no groom or a drunken groom at the altar. She recalls hearing about Valin Halcyon's bachelor party in Coco Town at the Bunny Hutch. It took the groomsmen all night to get him sober and presentable enough on his and Callista's wedding day.

Threepio performs a song as his gift to the soon-to-be ex-bachelor.

_He's got his own planet, _

_Although it's kind of wild. _

_Wookies__ love him. _

_Women love him. _

_He's got a winning smile! _

_Though he may seem cool and cocky, _

_He's more sensitive than he seems, _

_Chorus: _

_Han Solo, _

_What a man! Solo. _

_He's every princess's dream!_

What he could have left out was his comment after the song. Han lunged at the droid with the intent to kill. When Threepio returns home in the wee hours of the morning with Luke and Artoo, he explains himself to his master.

Anakin could not sleep so he milled about the house and waited for Luke and the droids to come home. He wanted to find out who was naughty and who was nice during what he suspected was a night of unbridled debauchery. He was woefully disappointed. Threepio did add a ray of sunshine however. Anakin could not wait to hear what the droid said to the pirate. Anakin sits on the sofa in his robe. He drinks a cup of warm blue milk to settle his stomach.

"What could have gotten nerfherder so upset that he wanted to rip your wiring out of your body?"

"It was quite harmless, Master. All I said was Leia was never really interested in all of her other suitors, least of all that silly Prince Isoldor fellow. He was a bit too sure of himself if you ask me. And then that smooth-talking Viscount Juan Valdez, the Jawa bean heir from Alderaan, she wasn't that into him either. However, that nice Nelson fellow, now he was a late bloomer…became a major in the Coruscant Air force. He's an astronaut now. He's taking his first mission into wild space to planet Earth. I hope he comes back safe. Only Heaven knows what he'll discover out there. He's such a brave and selfless soul. Now if Leia were to marry anyone it definitely would be the venerable Major Anthony Nelson. And after I sang that lovely song, Master, Han Solo lunged at me! The attacked was unexpected, and certainly unprovoked!"

"Yeah, you're the epitome of sensitivity and tact. I don't know why Solo would fly off the handle like that. It couldn't have been anything _'you'_ said."

"It certainly was not, Master Ani. If he doesn't watch his temper, he could very well wind up in anger management therapy like you, sir. You sure were a case for the Intergalactic Psychology Journal on Mental Health. The poster boy for anger unleashed you were!"

Anakin was tempted to belt the droid but his careless rambling made it too easy. He would need to wait for another opportunity. He would get no joy out of ripping apart the droid tonight. Besides, he had one of his dreams. It was an image of three small children taunting him, calling him some filthy names…_grandpa_ and _old granddad_…yikes! Who were these evil creatures? It was a horrible nightmare. He knew he should not have had that cold shaak and blue cheese sandwich before bed. That stuff ferments in your stomach and causes hallucinations.

He heard the rest of the details about Han's night out with the boys from Luke. Again, he was disappointed. No scantily clad bimbos to shimmy in front of strange men with their hooters in nerfherder's face. If this had happened instead of some lame Sabacc marathon, Leia would have dropped him like a hot Mustafar penny and run into her dear father's arms and beg forgiveness for being blinded by the truth that was 'Cad-about-town' Han Solo, or 'Junior' as his father called him. What a Pity. The wedding is still on.

'_**Know When to Hold Them, Know When to Fold 'Em'**_

The nerfherder evening is filled with Sabacc tables and all the Corellian ale one could drink. Han had invited Anakin but the invitation is declined. Anakin wanted no part of a ritual that involved the celebration of losing his daughter to the groom-to-be. He spends the evening watching the box set of Chewie and Boga with Leia. They pop a large bowl of popcorn. Leia wears her most comfy pajamas and socks and curls up on the sofa in the family room with her father. They vegetate in front of the plasma watching the characters she loves so much as a child. The rest of the Skywalker children decided to join them to watch each episode. By nine o'clock, the little ones drift off to sleep. Luke has a mission later the next day so he helps his mother with the Younglings before he retires for the night. At the end, it is only Leia and her father. The father and daughter congratulate each other for accomplishing the impossible, watching every episode in the box set.

Anakin drifts off to bed. As his head hits the soft down-filled pillow, his mind wanders off to dreamland once more. He never should have eaten that shaak sandwich.

His dream takes him to a house he has never seen before. He sees flowers, a patio, on one of the patio chairs. He sees toys on the 3-seater patio chair. As he drifts through the dwelling, he sees a room with framed holographs on the tables. As he is about to look at the crystal frame within his reach, he can hear voices in the distance. He finds his way up the stairs. The two voices sound happy. There is giggling. The voices are female. The owner of one of the voices is putting away laundry while the younger one is sitting on a bed.

"So, how was a whole month with his parents?"

"Not so bad. They really miss us and want us to come visit them more often."

"I heard Daddy was calling a lot."

"Oh yeah, that….he's pretending he doesn't miss the twins but I know he does."

"Mother told me that he wants them to address him as _'Mr. Skywalker.'_"

"He's so obnoxious. Him and his midlife crisis, makes you want to slap him."

"He's trying."

"He's trying to make everyone around him crazy and neurotic like him. He's a grandfather and he can't face it."

"He was really flattered that you named the baby after him."

"We thought it was befitting to make the name Anakin a noble one in the eyes of the Jedi High Council. Yoda says he will become a brave and powerful Jedi."

"Well, right now he's just little butterball." She lifts an infant from the bed where she is sitting and lifts him above her head. "Leia, I'm so glad you're all back."

Leia smiles and folds some clothes. She loves these visits from her kid sister. Even though she is married and has a home and family of her own, she still enjoys spending time chatting with her sister about everything she would have talked about as a young teen.

"So…how's school?"

"Okay…being at that stuffy girls' prep school isn't so bad."

"Ana-Lena, you're lucky you didn't wind up at that convent school. Dad registered you when you were born. Mom was so angry when she found out."

Ana-Lena rolls her eyes.

"Oh, right, this school is so much better…right. It's _'convent school lite'_. The only cute boy was the pool cleaner and he was mysteriously transferred to the Shady Acres Retirement Home. He's stuck cleaning grey hair out of the pool drain...poor guy."

Leia has a good laugh although she has suspicions behind the sudden dismissal of the cute pool boy at the school.

"Alright, you've made your point. So how is school, sans cute pool boy?"

"Okay, guess what?"

"Oh-oh. When you start off like that I know you're going to tell me something I shouldn't know."

"What do you mean?"

"Sooner or later Dad is going to come into the picture."

"Oh, Sis, it's nothing like that." She bounces the baby again while Leia stuffs some shirts in a drawer.

"Okay, tell me. What is it?"

Ana-Lena sits the baby on her lap then squeals. She speaks rapidly. The baby stares at her and laughs. He squeals too.

"Oh, Leia he is so cute!"

Leia sighs then braces herself for what is to come next. She puts her hands on her hips.

"Oh crap! It's a boy! I knew it! Alright who is he?"

"He's tall, blonde, has the most dreamy blue-grey eyes…he's a senior cadet at the Imperial Academy."

"You haven't gone out with him have you? You know Daddy has an imaginative 30 year ban on you dating."

"Oh, are we up to 30 years now?" Leia gives her sister a no nonsense look. Ana-Lena continues to chatter away. "I'm kidding!"

"He's not. So what's going on with you, tiny teen?"

"Of course I haven't gone out with him…not yet. He just gave me the 'look'"

"What do you mean…the 'look'? If it's that look that involves body parts touching, you had better pray Daddy never gets wind of this. Are you sure this boy didn't just have a cinder in his eye?"

"No! I saw it. He was into me, I could tell."

"Never, ever use the words 'into you.' It freaks some people out."

"What people? Oh, never mind, I know what you're trying to say." She wave her hand.

"I'm not trying! I'm really saying it. So tell me about this poor boy. Just talking about him may be shortening his lifespan as we speak."

"Well…okay…here it goes…I heard first-hand from Becky Piett who heard it from Vicki Halcyon whose cousin Skylar is dating a Padawan who is the apprentice to Kyle Katarn who's friend's brother is taking a tactical logistics class with him and says he's interested in me."

Leia is trying to decipher what her little sister has just said.

"Kyle's friend's brother is interested in you?"

"No! You're not listening…"

"Ohh…I'm listening plenty. I might be getting a migraine, but I'm listening. I may be called on as a material witness."

"You're not following what I'm trying to tell you."

Leia gets a bit terse with her sister.

"Well it's kind of hard to keep track when you're taking me down that long and winding road to explain. I'm afraid of this chain of events and I have a feeling it's going where no one needs to go. Can you give me the express route to the point you're making?"

"You're yelling. Daddy never yells."

"Listen here, 'delusional Barbie,' tell me what's going on. Who is this boy?"

"Cort Needa is interested in me…or so I've heard." Ana-Lena braces herself for her sister's reaction.

Leia drops the stack of baby clothes she has just folded.

"What? Do you know who he is?"

"I think so…Yes, sorta kinda…Okay, I know who he is…his father is a top office in the Imperial Military…So, what's your point?"

"So…little miss smarty pants, Daddy is going to kill you. But before he does that, he's going to strangle Captain Needa and then his space cadet son."

"No he's not…Daddy is so sweet and understanding. He adores me. Why would he be upset? He wants to see me happy. Leia, you've got Daddy all wrong. He's going to be happy for me, you'll see."

"I'll tell you what I see; I see convent school in your future."

"You're just trying to scare me. I'm going to visit the office tomorrow and stop by the Imperial cafeteria. I can see it now…Cort and I holding hands across a corner table in a crowded room. Then he leans over to kiss me…" She sighs wistfully while Leia gathers the clothes from the floor and rolls her eyes. Ana-Lena cuddles the baby against her cheek. "Isn't love wonderful?"

"I hope you have Uncle Stephan's number on speed dial. You might want to put yourself in jail for the night. You ever wonder why this boy hasn't already asked you out? I'll give you three; he's 17, you're 14…"

"I'm going on 15."

"Not for a while, sweetheart. He's three years older than you, but the real number three is sitting in his executive office thinking of ways to keep you under house arrest."

"You're so dramatic. My mind is made up. No one dictates my future. I'm going to ask him out on a date."

Anakin wakes up in a cold sweat. Isabel barely stirs in her sleep. She has grown used to his roaming about the house in the middle of the night. If it were important, he would wake her. He leaves their bed and lumbers down the hall to the children's rooms. He slips inside Ana-Lena's room and watches her sleep. She clutches her rag doll. He stops by Leia's room and presses his face against the door. Everything feels normal. Anakin scratches his head then makes his way back to the master bedroom. That was a horrible dream. How silly. A Grandfather!

'_**Morning Has Broken…and so are my Eggs'**_

Morning is full of chattering girls. Anakin heads for the kitchen, pours a hot cup of jawa, and stands against the counter. He can hear laughing outside on the patio. Leia, Winter, Pooja and Ryoo sit around the table chatting. Isabel walks in from the laundry room holding the baby.

"Oh, good morning. You slept late. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I was really tired. How are you?"

"Good. Can I make you breakfast?"

"I guess I could eat a couple of eggs. Want me to take him while you cook?"

"It would be nice."

He sets his cup on the counter then takes the youngest Skywalker in his arms.

"Hey, little guy. Have you been helping your mother this morning?"

"He had better start walking soon. He's not getting any easier to carry."

"Oh calm down, woman. He'll walk in good time."

"Why don't you go outside? I'll bring your breakfast to you."

"That's alright; I'll stay in here."

Isabel looks out onto the patio from the kitchen. She smiles.

"They won't bite, Anakin. You haven't sat down at the breakfast table since they arrived."

"They don't want me hanging around."

"Go! Before I push you out the door. Do it before you regret it later."

"Kris might catch a chill. It's a bit brisk out this morning."

"The weather is fine…move it!"

Anakin pouts then adjusts the baby on his hip.

"Come on, Kris…she's sending us out to the arena. Be brave."

The baby laughs and kicks his feet happily. He claps his hands. Anakin steps pass the glass doors and tries to be inconspicuous as he approaches the breakfast table. The young ladies at the table stop talking and turn towards the head of the table.

"Good morning, ladies…mind if I sit?"

Leia smiles.

Good morning, Daddy. Nice of you to join us today."

Pooja and Ryoo look up from their plates.

"Good morning, Uncle Ani."

Winter and Fiolla also greet him.

"Good morning, Mr. Skywalker. Thanks for inviting us to stay at your home."

"Yes, it was really lovely of you to invite us."

"You're welcome, ladies. Well…don't stop talking on my account. I'm just a warm body here."

"No, not at all…what we mean to say is, we love the fact that you're joining us this morning."

"Oh…well…thank you."

Isabel walks out to serve him his breakfast.

"Here you are, sweetie."

"Thanks."

"I'll take the baby."

"No. He can stay. We guys need to stick together. Right, Kris?"

"I'll be inside. I need to make a few calls."

"Okay. We'll be here."

Isabel goes back inside the house. Anakin begins eating. He looks up. Leia and the girls are looking at him as if he is a designer dress on sale at the Coruscant Metro Mall. He finally speaks.

"So…you ladies ready for the big day tomorrow?"

Winter is full of cheer and giddiness.

"Oh, sure! It's going to be so beautiful. Have you seen Leia's dress?"

"No…No…I'll see it tomorrow like everyone else…except you girls…" He swallows a mouthful of egg then shakes his fork at them. "I trust you'll all be dressed appropriately. This will be a conservative formal affair. It's not a manhunt for girls gone wild. I hope you will conduct yourselves accordingly while fighting for a bouquet. You're all attractive…You'll find someone."

Winter and Pooja clear their throats and giggle. Ryoo dares to correct her uncle.

"But I'm married, Uncle An."

"Oh…well, I guess you'll be standing at your husband's side. Good girl."

Leia looks across the table at her father.

"Daddy, you have nothing to worry about. You'll be happy with what we're wearing."

"I hope so. This isn't a beach party. There will be many dignitaries attending. Ryoo, Pooja, your parents will be here. Leia, that goes for you too. There will be no shocking attire and no unladylike behavior."

Leia had had enough of her father's input for the morning.

"We understood you the first time, Daddy. We're not twelve years old anymore. Your eggs are getting cold."

He decides he has indeed said enough. Perhaps now they will go inside and leave him in peace. He feeds the baby a bit of the egg. Kris decides he does not like it. He grabs hold of Anakin's hand and spits the bits of egg into his palm. He lets out a small sigh then reaches for the water glass. The girls giggle as Kris makes loud slurping noises. The girls leave the table. Isabel steps outside to check on him. Anakin looks up at her.

"What? Why did everyone leave?"

"You were supposed to be bonding with your daughter. I'm warning you. Behave yourself."

Anakin tried but he could not get into the 'bonding' mode.

'_**The Rehearsal'**_

There is so much going on that afternoon. Isabel has to get the children ready. Ana-Lena is in wardrobe selection mode. Her mother is getting close to losing her patience with the child.

"Ana-Lena, I'm only going to ask you once to get downstairs. There will be no changing. You wear what I set out for you." Isabel tends to the baby.

"But I changed my mind. Mommy, I want to wear the yellow dress."

Ana-Lena hears something from someone she never expected…her father.

"Ana-Le, your mother asked you to do something. Why aren't you doing what you were told? Do you want a spanking?"

Anakin has never spanked his children but just the tone in his voice made them believe he would. A few moments later Ana-Lena appears at the top of the stairs wearing the blue gingham dress with her white anklets and red Mary Jane's. She has the look of contrition on her face. Anakin looks at her from the bottom of the stairway.

"Very nice. Go show your mother."

Ana-Lena heads to the nursery where her mother has just finished getting Kris ready.

"Hi, Mom."

"Hello, sweet pea."

"I'm dressed. Daddy threatened me."

"He did?"

"Aren't you going to yell at him?"

"No. I need your father's cooperation for the next few days. He's exempt."

"Does that mean he doesn't exist?"

"No, that's extinct, sweetie."

"Oh…how do I become exempt?"

"Never. Let's get out of here. We have to stop off to let Aunt Beru baby-sit. Where are your brothers? "

Down in the parking bay Li-An and Alex are getting an early start. Threepio and Artoo are also there. Skippy sits in the passenger seat. Li-An is behind the wheel of his father's YUV speeder. Threepio stands outside with Artoo and Alex. The vehicle veers to the left then backs up. Li-An speaks.

"How am I doing so far, Alex?"

"You're almost out of the parking spot. You'll need to straighten her out a little more then go in reverse."

Threepio interrupts.

"Master Li, are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"Get in, Threepio before I run you over. You're in the way."

"I will not! You know full well you're not supposed to be in here."

"Will you relax? Geez! Get inside, you coward."

The reluctant droid opens the passenger door on the drivers' side directly behind Li-An. The vehicle jerks and starts. Threepio is still anxious. Artoo chirps nervously.

"I'm trying, Artoo, but he's as willful as his father. Master Li, why don't you wait until your parents arrive?"

"I can do this, Threepio, trust me. " He pokes his head out of the window and looks into the rear view mirror. "Hey, Alex, am I driving straight?"

"Uhm…yes…"

Li-An turns and smiles at Skippy who is strapped into his seat then glances at Threepio from the rear view mirror.

"See, Threepio, you're all worried about nothing." He continues to back out but the speeder stops suddenly. He presses down on the pedal. "What now?" He checks the controls.

Threepio grabs hold of the handle near the ceiling of the vehicle.

"Perhaps this is a sign, Master, Li."

"Sign? What sign? Don't be silly."

"Well, you can barely see above the steering wheel and your feet don't meet the pedals. This could prove dangerous."

"My grandmother told me I could do anything."

"I don't think that included underage driving, Master."

"Well, maybe she should have been more specific."

"Even still, master, I don't believe you were meant to use this vehicle."

"Well nothing's going to control my destiny to being the best driver ever." He slides down in the driver's seat to reach the pedal in order to apply more force. The vehicle is still running but not moving. Li-An leans out of the window and looks into the rear view mirror again. "Alex! What's going on? Oh-oh."

Alex is standing to the side near the wall. A tall figure stands at the rear of the vehicle. Anakin is using his index finger to stop the speeder. He looks at his son.

"Is there something I can do for you, sport?"

"Uh…hi, Dad!"

Threepio releases his seatbelt and stumbles out of the vehicle.

"Thank the maker! Master, Ani, I am so glad you have come to rescue me from this pint-sized car thief. I felt my life passing before my eyes! I warned him this was a bad idea…"

"Zip it! Li-An, get out of the vehicle."

"Oohhh!" He unfastens his seatbelt and leaves the speeder. Anakin quietly but firmly speaks to his son.

"Wait right here. Alex, get inside. We need to go to the wedding rehearsal."

Alex looks at his brother then up at his father.

"What about Li, Dad?"

"He's going to wait for his uncle."

"Which one? The cop or the sweatshop guy?"

"Just wait." Anakin says this with one of his most serious tones as he pulls out his cell phone. Li-An does not try to explain himself. He obeys his father and stands by the wall. He watches as his mother walks over with the baby and his sister. Anakin loads the siblings into the vehicle. Ana-Lena sees her brother as she is fastened into the car seat.

"Li's not coming with us, Mom?" She looks out the window at him. Just then, another vehicle pulls into the bay. The drivers' side door opens. It is Uncle Stephan. He walks over and shakes Anakin's hand. The police siren light is flashing on the dashboard. The men exchange a few words then glance back at Li-An. Anakin calls him over. Alex and Ana-Lena wave goodbye to him from their seat. He waves back.

He walks over to his uncle and father. His head held low. He looks as if he is a big disappointment to his father and Uncle. As he approaches the two men, he holds out his arms. His hands are cupped together.

"I'm ready."

Stephan is somewhat confused when he looks down at his young nephew. His perplexed look changes to one of slight amusement.

"What are you doing, Li?"

"Aren't you going to arrest me?"

"What for? Oh, for driving a speeder without a license? I'll let you go this time. Get in; we're going to drive to the rehearsal in style."

"Really? Do I get high-speed police chase driving lessons? Cool! It's an unmarked speeder. Are you going to turn on the siren?"

Li-An checks the glove compartment as his uncle secures him with the seatbelt.

"No…we'll just leave it on flash…and I will be doing the driving."

"Can we arrest someone on the way over?"

"Like who?"

"What about old Palps? That would get his heart a jump-start. Luke says he's guilty of something. We could get him on a whole laundry list of charges. Luke said that too. So, can we?"

"No…then we'll have to do paperwork and I hate doing paperwork. Anyway, we need to head over to your sister's wedding rehearsal."

"Ohh…alright."

"And in the future, stay out of the driver's seat until you get a license."

"Yes, Captain. Can I use the police radio?" He reaches for the handset. His uncle shields the radio with his right hand. Li-An pulls his own hand away. He got his hand slapped the last time he tried this. His uncle looks straight ahead and smiles.

"No!"

'_**Right Foot Step and Left foot Step'**_

The immediate wedding party arrives at the cathedral. Roulf, the wedding planner directs the wedding processional. He calls Han to the altar.

"Achkay, everyone in your places. Where ist der groom? Han, come to the altar, schatzi, what are you doing, sleeping back there?"

Han makes his way to the altar. Lando and Kyp chuckle.

"Dead man walking!"

Han strolls casually to the altar. Roulf and the Jedi monk stand at the top step of the altar. The planner looks around.

"Achkay, we are missing somebody. Where ist der bistmann?" He suddenly hears a chortle and turns. Chewbacca raises his furry hand. Roulf gives him the once over. "Mein Gott! You have a full head of hair on you! Look at that crown and glory. Holy Jedi Water! I was wrong the first time; you are a beast man! Oh, Dahling we must do sumsing wiss your coif."

Chewie lets out a hideous growl. His tone is hostile. Roulf ignores him.

"Achkay, '_fluffy_,' we don't need drama today. This ist not about you. Between you and me schatz, a _machover_ would do you good. See me after the rehearsal…you won't regret it. Roulfi will hook you up, achkay? Achkay."

Roulf looks around. He calls to Theodore who is facing the entrance of the church and counting. "Théo, vaire are das kinderlings?"

Theodore rounds up the children

"Here they are, Roulf. Aren't they just gorgeous? You can just eat them up they're so adorable!"

"Come, come! Schnell…You little ones are like scurriers…you're all over the place. What does your mutter feed you in the morning? Achkay…Junior brautmaids…good….little flower girl…yes, you stand here…"

Ana-Lena twists from left to right watching as her little blue gingham dress twirls. She finally looks up at the man with the white pants and blue and gold striped blazer.

"How can I be a flower girl if I don't have any flowers?"

"Pretend."

"I prefer the real thing please."

"Humar me, Liebling, achkay? Everyone, take your places. After der fett lady sings, der people will stand. The wedding music will play and it will be wunderbar. Everyone will be happy and look really fahbulous. Think in your minds how happy your parents will be tomorrow…no one has eloped…no one has a hangover…everything will be nice und peaceful…" He pivots quickly to focus on the groom and best 'Wookie'. "Wookieman, I seriously can have a hairdresser here in hours to make you look mahvaluss."

Han is becoming annoyed with the little man.

"Listen, Lord Fauntleroy, back off. He doesn't like it when you bother him."

"Achkay…if you can live with the wedding holographs years from now then I suppose I can too."

The rehearsal music plays and the processional begins Anakin and Leia are about to enter from the back of the church. Roulf counts the beats to the music.

"One two three und der _fader_ und his Jedi Princess enters …right foot step und left foot step…und… Anakin, big smile, you are giving away your daughter not your right hand…relax a little…you're too stiff. You are going to hand her over to _dees_ wonderful young man up there at the altar. It's a happy day fur everyone!"

Anakin wants to strangle the man who is telling him how to 'walk the walk.' He and Leia arrive at the altar. He feels as if he is preparing to offer up his daughter as a sacrifice to the gods. The nervous Jedi Friar is standing in for the priest. He is the poor soul who saw the ghosts during the last wedding that involved this family. Something weird always happens with this family whenever they enter these hallowed halls. Perhaps things will be different because they are in the cathedral down the block.

Friar Cole Sees-Augustus takes a deep breath as he looks at the father, the son-in-law, and the bride. He make a double take when he sees the best man.

"Okay…hello…this is where you stop and…"

Roulf interrupts and starts directing them.

"Achkay, now…Awnakin…you hand your daughter to the groom…you shake the groom's hand und smile…"

Anakin wants to shake the grooms hand alright. He wants to shake the groom by the neck. He does not know why he is feeling this new wave of hostility for the poor nerfherder. He actually likes Han. Maybe if that annoying wiseass in the striped ice cream vendor's jacket stops calling him _'Awnakin'_, he might feel less agitated.

He is still shaking Han's hand with a vise grip until he hears the wedding planner's voice. "You cahn stop shaking his hand now. Achkay, smile!"

Anakin does not want to smile. He stops to think back at his own wedding day. His father-in-law was not too thrilled about him. Has it been eight years already? Han takes Leia's hand in his. The friar runs through the lines of the wedding vows. The rehearsal takes about two hours but it feels like a lifetime. There is finally a reprieve. The friar does not let Leia and Han leave just yet.

"Wait! Wait! Stop! Leia and Han, this wedding cannot go on tomorrow…."

Leia is stunned. Anakin turns to head back to the altar. He didn't want to suffer through this just because of a technicality. Whatever could it be? This had better be good. Han steps up to the altar.

"What is it?"

"I believe, Mr. Solo, you owe me something."

"Ohh…" Han reaches for his wallet.

"The license please."

"Oh…ooohh...sorry…I've got it right here, Padre. It's all signed and notarized by the Imperial Court of Coruscant." He hands the document to the friar. The friar smiles and bows.

"Go in peace, my children."

Everyone in the church breathes a sigh of relief. Luke giggles and slaps Han on the back as he passes.

"That'll do, Han, That'll do."

"Very funny, kid."

Luke hurries off to get in his speeder. He has to pick up Mara.

The rehearsal is a success. Roulf and Friar Cole are satisfied. The children cheer and run between the pews as if it is a garden maze.

'_**Coruscant, in the Park, I thought the Birds Would Eat Me Alive'**_

Across the street in the park, Beru and Owen sit on a bench under a tree. Beru makes Isabel an offer she couldn't refuse. She volunteers to baby-sit Kris while everyone else was in the cathedral. Owen reluctantly accompanies Beru and the baby. He did not have any friends on Coruscant. Anakin offered to drop him off at Shady Acres to spend the afternoon with Palpatine but then he thought it would be the epitome of cruelty for both men. Owen would start his political diatribe about the dark times, or, as Palpatine remembered them, 'Happy Days.' They would kill each other. It would be awful. Leia would be upset that her father would do something that would take the spotlight off her special day. After she leaves for her honeymoon, her father can put the old curmudgeon farmer and the wizened old hack actor sith in a sports arena and let them fight it out... 'The Farmer from Tatooine vs. The Sith with the Script'

Beru smiles blissfully as she gently rolls the stroller back and forth. The baby wakes up after a brief nap. Kris sits up and looks at the birds in the trees and points. Owen watches as Beru fusses over the child.

"Nice kid."

"Owen, he's an absolute doll. He reminds me of Luke when he was a baby…so…Owen, did you ask them?"

"Ask who what?"

She turns to face her husband.

"You know very well what."

"Beru, be reasonable…Anakin won't go for it. He's got some fool notion that we're going to have them working on the farm; but I'll tell you what, it'll do them some good to see what hard work is really like."

"Oh, Owen, they'll be visiting for fun. How can Anakin say 'no' to that? You promised you would speak to him. Did you at least prep the house in case he says 'yes'? What about the swing set? You did have the droids back on the farm set up the swing set, didn't you? Owen! You promised!"

"They're not going to visit anyway. What's the point? If you're so bent on having the kids visit, you ask them!"

"I just might."

During all this time, neither of them has noticed what the baby has been doing. Something finally gets their attention. Flocks of birds of various colors are on the ground and perched on the neighboring park bench. Krizstan leans over the side of his stroller and points. Beru smiles.

"Look, Kris. Look at all of the pretty birds. See the bird?"

Owen rolls his eyes and shoos a few of them away.

"Of course he can see them. Where did they all come from?"

"I don't know but he seems to like them. Kris you like the birds?"

"Bur…bur!"

"Owen, he said bird! He's learning to talk."

"He didn't say bird. He's just babbling. Oh, just in time. Here comes his mother with the rest of her brood."

The children hurry over to the park bench where Owen and Beru are sitting. Beru nudges Owen to bring up the subject of having the children visit. Isabel takes her baby and smothers him with kisses.

"So, we're done. Anakin is going to drive you to the restaurant. How did it go with this little guy?"

Beru is cheerful.

"Oh, he was an absolute angel."

"Great…great…" She places the baby back in the stroller. He continues to look at the birds that are on the ground and hopping in the grass. His siblings gather around the stroller. Isabel chats with Owen and Beru. "Thank you so much for taking him while we were inside.

"How did rehearsal go?"

"It went well. I think Leia and her father can go through that routine in their sleep."

The children play with the baby. Kris points to the birds. Most have left after Owen shooed them away.

"Bur!"

Alex faces the baby.

"Look! He's trying to talk!"

Ana-Lena is excited.

"He's trying to say bird."

Li-An helps him.

"Kris, listen…Bir-duh!"

His siblings join in. "Come on, say "Bird" Say "Bird..."

"Bird!"

The siblings jump and cheer.

"Mom, Mom! He talked! Kris said "bird."

The baby babbles continuously.

"Bird, bird, bird, bird, bird!"

He sees a butterfly fluttering near the wheel of the stroller.

"Bird!"

Ana-Lena corrects him.

"That's not a bird. That's a butterfly."

"Fi."

Li-An nods to his sister.

"He can't say all that."

The butterfly flutters over the fresh green grass. The children push the stroller onto the grass in pursuit of the butterfly. The yellow and blue flowers are similar in shape. Kris watches as the flowers sway with the breeze.

"Bofi!"

Ana-Lena picks one to show him.

"No, not a butterfly. These are flowers. See? Can you say "flower?""

Something is moving through the grass and the clusters of flowers. A head pops up. It is a scurrier.

"Fow!"

Li-An and the others giggle.

"That's not a flower, Kris. It's a scurrier."

Ana-Lena hugs her baby brother.

"It's okay. He can't remember all those names."

Isabel calls the children while she listens to Uncle Owen ask about having the children for the remainder of the school vacation.

"Well, Owen, I will discuss it with Anakin and we'll let you know. We'll have to ask the children as well. We won't force them to do anything they don't want to do." She calls the children again. "Li, Ana, Alex, let's go!"

An hour passes before the wedding party and guests arrive at the Kashyyyk Sea Grill. Friar Cole arrives with Obi-Wan and the Jedi Priest who is officiating at the wedding. Aunt Bunny sits in the back seat with Friar Cole. He has trouble keeping his eyes off her cleavage as she speaks to him during the ride over. He mutters a prayer to himself during the ride over…something about delivering him from temptation of the flesh… Bunny looks at him.

"Are you okay, shug? Friar Cole, you're pale as a sith… Let me roll down the window for you."

The priest in the front seat turns to see what is going on.

"Brother Cole, are you alright?"

"Yes, your eminence…just a bit of car sickness."

They arrive at the restaurant. Friar Cole rushes into the men's room to rinse his face with cold water.

Mara arrives with Luke. They are chatting with Han's parents at the entrance for a few minutes before going inside.

Palpatine arrives with Elan Sleezabagano. The old Sith apologizes to his former assistant for treating him so badly. The tiny assistant stumbles through the door of the restaurant.

"Ouch! Hey! Don't push!"

"Well move it. I want to get a good seat. I can't believe my son couldn't drive across town to pick me up. I'm glad I saw you in your car, Elan. Thanks for stopping for me."

"You screamed 'carjacker'! I had no choice, you crazy old man."

"Well, the officer was understanding. He didn't charge you."

"Because I wasn't guilty."

"That's because they didn't find the death sticks on you." The old man looks around at the buffet tables and the décor. Oooh, this is very nice. Oh look! Fresh lobster! Let's sit down."

"I think we're supposed to file in with the rest of the guests, Sire."

"Hmmm…that's a word I haven't been called that since…It's good you know your place, son."

Soon guests begin to file into the room. Aunt Beru takes the children to their seats. Anakin stops to chat with the future in-laws in the foyer. Professor Solo has already started drinking as he greets the guests. He shakes hands with Anakin and kisses Isabel on the cheek. He was aiming for her mouth but she turns her head at the last minute.

"Today we join forces again. Good to see you, Anakin."

"Good to see you, Professor, Mrs. Professor."

Isabel elbows her husband. He mouths the word _"What?"_ pretending he doesn't understand. He ignores her and accepts a kiss on the cheek from Sabrina.

"Anakin, it's so lovely to see you again. It's been awhile."

"Well…you know…we Skywalkers are a busy bunch."

"And, Isabel, we must catch up on our gossip. How is that delightful father of yours?"

"Oh…he's fine. He should be arriving shortly. You are referring to my father and not the man over there at the buffet."

"Oh, yes, of course, Mr. Nor!"

"So, how was your trip?"

"It was lovely, how do you like my hat?" Sabrina turns to give Isabel a full view of the millinery wonder.

"It's feathery…" Isabel looks at the mint green pillbox hat with the Boga feather plumes hanging at the sides. Sabrina Solo's shantung silk two-piece pantsuit is quite stylish. She holds a martini in one hand and her matching silk clutch, securely tucked under her arm and twists her triple-strand Okikuti pearls with the other.

"Dahling, you look absolutely stunning! I love your outfit."

"Thank you."

"Show it off, dahling…it's a Mon Calamari original. Don't be shy."

Anakin looks at his wife.

"Go on, honey, strut your stuff." He winks. Isabel gives him a dirty look. Isabel is not in the 'strut-your-stuff' mode. Isabel's pink silk pantsuit with the three bow clasps on the jacket is elegant without being overdressed for the casual affair. Anakin turns his attention to the hat Sabrina Solo is wearing. He is surprised he did not notice this before but bunches of feathers at the top ready to pounce any moment of the hat are shaped into the face of a Boga. It looks as if it the shrunken head of a real Boga is perched on the top. Anakin is having fun already as he helps to welcome the guests. The Naberrie family files in. Jobal is pleasant as she greets her former son-in-law. Ruwee is an upbeat version of his typically curmudgeonly self.

"Hello, Anakin...Isabel."

The two men respectfully bow then shake hands. Anakin makes the introductions.

"Ruwee, Jobal, I would like you to meet Professor James and …"

Sabrina Solo helps. She offers her hand to Ruwee. He does not know quite what to do. He fumbles with her hand but does not kiss it.

"Sabrina Solo, hello. I'm the mother of the groom. I am so pleased to meet you. Leia tells us you used to teach."

"Oh yes…but I am retired now. I taught philosophy and commercial architecture at the university on Naboo."

"Well, we must chat later, don't you think so, James?"

"Oh, but of course." He swirls the martini slightly as he is introduced to the rest of the Naberrie family. Anakin seems to believe the professor cannot press the flesh without holding a glass in the other hand. Anakin glances over at his wife while the Naberrie family chats with the Solos. He gets Isabel's attention and mimics the professor with his drink. Isabel shakes her head and turns away to chat with Darred Janren before she breaks up laughing. This is actually the perfect moment for a laugh. Ruwee is so serious; he's going to have to lighten up with the Solo's around.

Soon everyone is seated. Two places at the table remain empty. James stands at the table and raises his glass.

"Before we begin, I would like to introduce the two people we are celebrating this afternoon. When my son told us he had finally found the girl of his dreams, I was shocked. He is usually cruising the galaxy, getting into one scrape or another. Junior has never seriously settled on anyone until now. He has done well. Please raise you glasses and welcome Han and Leia to the table."

There is thunderous applause. Han's friends cheer. Sena, Rocca, and Callista blow finger whistles as the couple enters the room and take their seats. Mara is more interested in the one and a half pound lobster on her plate. She pushes her hands up in the air to cheer, then continues to eat.

Leia looks radiant in her white silk sundress with little red cherries printed on it. In her hair is a thin green silk cord pulling her hair into a long ponytail. At the ends of the green hair tie are two crystal red cherries. Han wears a white shirt under a dark sports jacket.

Li-An is sitting at the kiddies table and uses his lightsaber to break up his lobster. Anakin leaves his seat and walks over to the table. He holds out his hand.

"Hand it over. You know better."

"I wasn't using it for myself. I was going to cut up everyone's lobster."

"Use the claw crackers like everyone else. Don't make me come back to this table. I don't want anymore shenanigans out of you."

Ana-Lena chews her food.

"What's shenanigans?"

Alex turns to her.

"Doing anything that will get us punished." He eats a curly mustarfry.

Ana-Lena calls her father as he is about to walk away.

"Daddy?"

"Yes, sweet pea?"

"Are we being banished?"

"Banished? From what?"

"Well, all of us little kids are at this table and the grown ups are at the big table."

"No one is being banished. Who told you that?"

"The ice cream man told us we're delegated to the quiet table so grown ups can have fun. Aren't we fun?"

"Who's the ice cream man?"

Alex nibbles on a crab claw.

"The guy who bossed us around during the rehearsal. He laughs a lot and always sounds as if he's singing when he talks."

Li-An and Pooja's daughter Dory mock the wedding planner.

"_You kids stand here…blah…blah…blah….Awnakin…Awnakin!…parfactly mahvaluss…hahahahaah!"_

Anakin almost laughs as the children have done a perfect imitation of the event planner.

"Ahso…I'll deal with him later."

Alex looks up at his father.

"Are we going to be banished tomorrow too?"

"Finish your meal. I'll be back in a bit."

Radi and Gunter, Ryoo's children giggle. When they first arrived, they were withdrawn and quiet, but they began to enjoy themselves once left alone with the Skywalker and Nor children. Pooja told Ryoo that the children do better without constant hovering by their father.

Anakin walks back to the adult table where Isabel is chatting with Friar Cole. He leans over to speak to her. Whatever he says prompts Isabel to glance over at the kiddie table.

"Anakin, let it go. Don't say anything."

"I've got it all under control."

He leaves the table and goes to the foyer where Roulf is speaking to Theodore and a chef. It is a social conversation.

"So, Gasped, I don't recall ever working wiss you. You are fahbuluss. We must get together sometime. Théo, he is fahbuluss!"

"Ja, he is fahbuluss! But, Roulf, you are also fahbuluss!"

"Sinks, Théo, I know. I feel fahbuluss. I bought this ensemble just yesterday. It is a Sunday walking jacket but I wear it today because it looks so fahbuluss. We all look so fahbuluss."

"Roulf, you flatterer!"

Roulf finally acknowledges Anakin standing there. Anakin waiting for this _'fahbuluss'_ moment to end.

Roulf has one arm folded across his chest. He presses his index finger against his chin as he turns.

"Oh, hello, Awn…Mr. Skywalker."

"I need to have a few words with you, Roulf." They step to the side. "What's the idea telling my kids that I didn't want them at the main table?"

"Awnakin, trust me. I did what I believe is in their best interest, this dinner is a trial run to tomorrow's big event. They have activities und lots of fun food."

"They don't need activities. This is a family event."

"They are very happy. Look at them laughing. Happy, happy kinderlings! Ja, ja. I sink so. Ahem…" He continues smiling even though Anakin is not. Theodore smiles too.

Within 15 minutes, all of the children arrive at the main table with the rest of the family. This lasts as long as it took to bring them over. Alex is getting bored, Li-An is sitting with Aunt Bunny. He is leaning on his elbow 'watching' her talk. This amuses Obi-Wan as Anakin reaches over and gently turns the child's head away from the focal point: Aunt Bunny's two perky assets crammed into her blue polka dot sundress. However, like a door with a faulty hinge, his head drifts back. Meanwhile, Alex is entertaining the table with his 'see food' antics while Ana-Lena dons the Kashyyyk pearls belonging to Sabrina Solo. She schools the child on the finer rules of being a socialite. Isabel gathers the children and sends them back to the 'kiddie' table. Anakin pours crayons out of a box onto the sheet of newsprint.

"Have fun."

Anakin will take Roulf aside later and apologize.

"Roulf, you made a good call."

"Apology accepted, Schatz."

Meanwhile, while jawa and tea is served with dessert, Palpatine manages to weasel in a private conversation with Han's father. He catches up with the professor as he is leaving the men's room. He reaches out and taps Professor Solo with a pasty wrinkled finger,

"So, professor, I don't believe he had a chance to chat."

The distinguished professor turns to see the former emperor

"About what?"

"Tell me, what do you think of the two families getting together for this momentous occasion?"

"I think Junior has done quite well for himself."

The old man ponders for a moment. He sighs wistfully.

"Junior…must be nice to have a namesake."

"I don't think my son appreciates it much."

But it is such an honor. I never had a namesake. I fear the line ends with me…Unless…and this is a big if…if Han and Leia could find it in their hearts to name their firstborn after me…"

The professor stares blankly at the old man, then slaps his knee and roars with laughter.

"Bahahahahahaha!"

Palpatine is shocked at the outburst Professor Solo calms down from his laughing fit. Solo looks Palpatine straight in the eye.

"Old man, you are crazy! Anakin told me you would stop at nothing to dig your clutches into the lives of these fine young children. All they want is to start a life of their own. You self-absorbed old windbag!"

"You dare speak to me like this?" Palpatine raises his fist in defiance. "Why, I'll…"

"You'll do what?" He stands over the old man. His imposing presence causes Palpatine to back down a bit.

"Just warning you. I know you're not who you say you are."

"Is that so? I want to know something from you, old man. What sort of game are you pulling here?"

"I…I…"

"Relax, you old sith bastard." He sits down at the small, secluded table. It is shut off by a fabric-covered wall so one can barely hear the guests in the main part of the room. Palpatine composes himself as the professor stops a waiter carrying a tea service. The waiter sets it on the table and promptly leaves them. Palpatine continues his rant and points his wizened old finger at the professor.

"You don't scare me…"

"Oh, shut up." Professor Solo pours the tea. "Have some tea and relax. Get over yourself."

"I don't want any bloody tea!"

Palpatine waves dismissively at the silver tea service in the center of the table. There is a crash. Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Nakai are standing at the door leading to the outdoor dining area having a chat when they hear the commotion. They rush in to find Professor Solo standing over the old sith. A pool of liquid is on the floor. Li-An, who happens to be with Kyp Durron to discuss his apprenticeship, follows.

"Ohh man!"

He is surprised at what he sees. He rushes back into the main dining area to make an announcement.

"Professor Solo killed grampalps!"

Leia screams.

"Noooo! I will not have my wedding overshadowed by a funeral for that old coot! Make him get up. Tell him to walk it off. Prop him up for all I care He is not going to ruin my day!" She cries on Isabel's shoulder. Jobal rubs her back to comfort her granddaughter.

Alex walks over to his mother.

"But grampalps is fun. I don't want him to die. He makes good lunches for us and he lets us humiliate him when he comes over to baby-sit."

Ouisanne takes her grandchild in her arms. Aunt Beru is bouncing Kris on her lap. He claps happily. Ana-Lena looks up at Threepio.

"Are we going to bury grampalps in the garden at home?"

"I hope not, Mistress Ana. Worse come to worst, your father will simply toss him down the recycling chute next to the trash compactor."

Ana-Lena giggles.

"You're funny, Threepio." She rests her head against the droid's legs. He senses that she is still a bit worried.

"I do what I can. Don't worry, little miss…That old codger has more lives in him than a nexu."

Luke joins the group surrounding the old man. He looks down at Palpatine who is sprawled on the floor. The waiters are still serving food. Ruwee is enjoying his lobster and red cabbage with mango salsa. He drizzles a bit more lime vinaigrette over it. A waiter serves him another beer. Owen joins Mr. Naberrie. The two men tap their bottles.

Luke returns to the party.

"Relax everyone…he's not dead…not yet."

Ruwee pounds his fist on the table.

"_Sith!"_

Han goes over and questions his father. They speak in hushed voices off to the side while chaos is occurring around them. His father is perfectly calm as he takes out his cigar cutter and clips off the end of an Alderaan hand rolled cigar.

"What did you do, Dad?"

"What do you mean, Junior? He slipped on some tea." He lights the cigar and takes a puff.

Han is outraged.

"Tea? Who slips on tea?"

"Shhh! Yes. It makes perfect sense. The tea service is on the floor. He got clumsy reaching for the milk. He had a misstep."

"Right…misstep my ass. This had better have a happy ending or Leia is going to be one distressed bride tomorrow and I'm going to hear about it."

Nakai and Aunt Bunny hurry over. Bunny kneels on the floor and leans over the body. Obi-Wan is horrified.

"What in the blazes are you doing, woman?"

"I'm going to administer CPR, Shug. I want to see if my training at the club was any good. Besides, we can't let the old man die on Leia's wedding…"

"Yes we can!" Obi-Wan nods most assuredly."

"Obi honey, think of poor Leia."

"Why are you making sense all of a sudden? Ohh…fine! Where's my drink?" A waiter arrives with a double shot of Caamas on a silver tray and serves him.

Obi-Wan braces himself for one of the worst moments of his life…Sith contamination.

Meanwhile, outside in the garden near the kitchen door, Elan, Théo, and the chef are passing around a death stick. Roulf walks out to retrieve Théo.

"Oh, what now?"

Elan rolls his eyes.

"Family feud."

Roulf waves his arms around in pure 'Roulf' style.

"Zat's why I love working for ziss crazy family. Zay are so _fahbulously _outrageous! Theo, take zat oust of your mouth, it will make you insane then it vill kill you. Come wiss me."

Roulf waves his hand in the air and heads back inside.

Back in the smoking salon, Bunny begins chest compressions on Palpatine. She leans over to switch to perform mouth-to-mouth but abruptly changes her mind. She notices something weird that no one else sees. The old man licks his pale, wrinkled lips the moment her mouth moves close to his. Obi-Wan hears a slap. Bunny is screaming at the old man.

"Why you dirty old man! How dare you…you…perv! I am a lady!"

Obi-Wan sips his Caamas.

"Bravo!"

Han whispers to Luke in response to Aunt Bunny's outburst.

"Excuse me for saying this but…isn't she also a stripper?"

"Former stripper…she's semi-retired…plus she has principles. Some sort of stripper code of ethics."

Palpatine writhes from the throbbing pain of her palm hitting his pasty skin. Luke covers his mouth to conceal his broad smile. Professor Solo folds his arms as he stands near Palpatine's head.

"Well…onto the festivities at hand." He casually steps over the former Emperor's body. Luke is about to walk away too until Anakin pulls him back.

"You want to give me a hand here?"

"Are you joking?"

Luke knows his father can lift the old man with one hand. But what Anakin wants is some show of support. Luke rolls his eyes.

"Ohh…alright."

They prop the old guy in one of the chairs in the smoking room. Anakin stands over him.

"Open your eyes. I know you can hear me."

"Fine…happy?"

"I would be more so if you didn't try any shenanigans this weekend. His is Leia's time. Don't 'eff' it up and don't 'eff' with me."

"But, it wasn't my fault. Your new in-laws are crazy. He tried to kill me! Do you want that dark element in our family? He tried to murder me."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"He's a spy, Anakin."

"What did I tell you?"

"But he set me up to look like a mad man."

"That's it! You're going back to the retirement home."

"No! No! Not that! Anakin, I love my little condo…Don't take that away from me. Okay, I made the whole thing up. It's my fault."

"Behave or I'll ban you from this wedding tomorrow."

"Fine…but he did try to kill me."

Anakin walks away.

"Not another word."

Palpatine follows Anakin whispering as if he is a child.

"He did."

Back at the party, Sabrina Solo kisses his husband on the cheek then smoothes the lapels on his jacket. They stand in the doorway. A waiter walks up to him.

"Your dry martini, Sir."

"Thank you."

Sabrina Solo takes the drink from him and takes a sip.

"Darling, how is that dreadful old man?"

"He won't be bothering me again if he has any sense left in him."

"You were so brave. What a miserable little creature he is. Where's Hansi, Darling?"

"He is not speaking to me right now."

"He'll get over it. You'll see."

"Oh, I'm not worried about that. It's 'M'."

"Oh…well, she'll be at the wedding tomorrow. Just explain that you can't take out the old Sith right now…until after the children go on their honeymoon."

"Her Majesty the Queen will be there too, remember? She'll know the job wasn't finished. Blasted! I'll need more time so as not to arouse suspicion."

"Keep smiling, dear." She waves across the room at Nakai. He looks to his immediate left then his right. He wants to make sure she is waving at him. He nods awkwardly. Ouisanne stares at him.

Dessert and coffee is served. Anakin gives a brief speech. Luke hurries back to his seat where the rest of the groomsmen and his friends are sitting. Mara is piercing her fork into a chocolate covered petit four soaked in Chambord and rum. Luke has a white fondant coated petit four waiting to be eaten. He listens attentively as his father speaks. He sees the tines of someone's fork travel over to his plate and impales the piped chrysanthemum sugar flower. Mara looks at him as she lifts the delicate cake to her lips.

"Oh, were you going to eat this?"

"Luke shakes his head 'No' then places his arm around her shoulder. He kisses her cheek and continues to listen to his father at the microphone. Gladys hangs on Anakin's every word. She glances over at Luke and gives him a wink and a smile.

Han and Leia hold hands as they listen to her father.

"I just want to thank all of the family members and friend who have come today to help Leia and Han prepare for their nuptials tomorrow. I know it will be busy tomorrow so Professor Solo and his wife offered to host this lovely rehearsal dinner. I know I had a great time; I hope you all did. I want to Thank Leia's grandparents Ruwee and Jobal for coming. You have made this day special for everyone. Thank you."

Lando gives a speech followed by a few other family members and friends.

"Han old buddy. Leia, you are a vision of loveliness. Han you have excellent taste, you select the perfect friends, on, everyone, give it up for Chewbacca. Han and I have been friends for years, I know him to be a trusted friend. I wish you and Leia all the best. You have selected the perfect bride. You two deserve the best. Cheers!"

Kyp stands.

"Han, I have a gift for Leia to make you happy." There is a hush in the room. Rocca and Sena giggle. "A couple of our big mouth friends have seen it already. Some people need to spend less time at the mall. You hellcats know who you are. Anyway, Leia, you know how close Han and Chewie are. I just thought that once you two are hitched, he wouldn't be spending much time with his buddy from Kashyyyk. So, in order for him to still feel close to his best friend, I'm giving you something that will make your evenings more enjoyable. A Wookie wig. Han will think he's with his best friend all the time. Wear it in good health!"

He hands her the gift box. Leia pulls it out of the box using two fingers. She wrinkles her nose then laughs before stuffing it back into the box. Ruwee and Jobal don't quite get the joke. Anakin gets the joke but does not think it is that funny. Luke laughs hysterically.

After all the speeches, Han and Leia say a few words to thank their family and friends. She and Han proceed to hand out gifts to their wedding party. Ana-Lena and all of the flower girls receive charm bracelets to commemorate the wedding. The maid of honor gets a pair of Geonosian amethyst earrings and a spa gift basket for each person. Han gives out Millennium Falcon cufflinks with the Jedi insignia and handheld plasma screens. For the best man, Han gives Chewy and engraved tool kit and voice translator. He thanks Threepio for programming it for him.

Leia and Han leave before the others in order to get a good nights sleep. Leia has to be alert in the morning to rein in her father in case he has a panic attack. Han has to prep himself for betraying a good friend.

Isabel rounds up her young ones or else they will prove to be four little uncooperative wedding goers by morning.

Luke waits around for Mara. Kyp is with him at the door.

"What's taking her so long?"

"I think Rocca said she was raiding the buffet table with Jar-Jar."

"Ohh nooo…I can't believe this."

At the buffet table, Mara fills a cloth napkin with food.

"You know what, Jar-Jar? This is the best part of a party…the leftovers."

"Yep! Weesa be feastin' for days, 'cept lobster don't taste so good after three days."

"Really? Oh, crap!" She tosses the remnants of the lobster back on the platter. Jar-Jar waits until she turns away and snaps it up.

"Yeah, yousa be one sick red tornado."

"Awh…Jar—Jar, you're looking out for me. How sweet."

"Jar-jar no wanting to see red headed Jedi girl spewing chunks at royal wedding tomorrow."

"Why, you think I would have it at lunch before the wedding?"

"Meesa not being surprised. Yousa have crazy appetite."

"I guess I don't need it…ooh! Steamed corn on the cob and cake!"

She fills the dinner napkin. Jar-Jar stares at her. He ties up his tablecloth and tosses it over his shoulder.

"Okay, Jar-Jar got enough grab bag food. Meesa go see how crazy sith gramps is doing"

"Oh, I heard about the fall. He shouldn't be drinking tea at his age."

Jar-Jar thinks for a moment then stares at her. He realizes that Mara is serious. The dear, sweet girl.

"Okiday! Messa go now. Yousa be going too. Powerful Jedi boyfriend waiting for you."

"Jar-Jar, do you think Lu-Lu really loves me?"

"Well, maybe not if yousa keep calling him girlie name all the time."

"I just wish I could be the one getting the big glamorous wedding and cake…and great food."

"Meesa feel Jedi Luke love you a whole lot. Wild Red, yousa sell yourself short."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Sometimes I can't read him and I'm usually good at stuff like that …being a Jedi and all…I'm beginning to think those elocution classes were a waste of time."

"Yousa okiday in my book. You stiff competitor in food stashing. Jar-Jar impressed to have worthy adversary. Anyway, Jedi Skywalker not problem. Heesa be long gone if he not interested."

Mara has been hanging on Jar-Jar's every word. She is heartened.

"You're saying Issa…I need to be patient."

"Yes. That's what mesa mean to say."

"Thanks, Jar-Jar."

Mara grabs her bulging dinner napkin. It resembles a hobo sack without the stick. She hugs Jar-Jar then heads for the door. She walks up to Luke and throws her arms around his neck and kisses him. The sack hits his in the back of the head.

"I thought you were never going to leave. Are you kissing me because you snagged some good grub?"

"No…well that and the fact that you waited for me. I've been taking you for granted."

He looks at the bundle she is holding.

"Are you having a party later that I don't know about?"

"I might get hungry later."

"Does your family hide food from you or something?"

"I don't think so…"

"Can I tell you a secret?"

"Sure, you can tell me anything, Lu-Lu."

"After the wedding tomorrow; there's going to be a big dinner…bigger that you can ever imagine. There will be more food."

"Really? Like what?"

"Show up and find out."

"I just want to know so I can decide which purse to carry."

"Mara!"

"Just kidding…really! What do you take me for…a hillbilly?"

Luke drives her home. He returns to his house to find his father sitting out in the garden. The moon is full and bright.

"Dad?"

"Oh, hi, Luke. Did Miss Jade enjoy herself?"

"Oh sure. She was impressed by the buffet."

"Well, I'm glad to hear it met with her approval. Sooo, are you ready for the big day?"

"Yes, my formalwear is hanging in the closet ready to go How about you?"

"I'm good…I've been working through it…processing the reality of it all."

Luke was only referring to apparel. He was hearing more than he wanted to know.

"Oh…I see."

Anakin continues. Luke realizes that his father has a lot on his mind and he needed to vent.

"…So, I guess I should be grateful…I have six terrific kids, not one a disappointment. Somehow, I knew Leia would be the first to leave the nest….she's always been so grown up. She's an independent spirit. She always impresses me."

"But, Dad, I'm an independent spirit."

"I know…but it's different with your sister. She's always had one foot out the door since she was six years old."

"She loves you, Dad."

"I know. Well, at least you're still around. I need one of you around so I could ride your ass and make you an example to your siblings."

"I've never let you down in the past."

"I know. You're always in some kind of trouble; it makes me think there's still work for me to do to mold you into the adult you could be."

Luke is amused by his father's sardonic comment.

"Gee, thanks, Dad."

"So, you're going to the Groom's day at the spa in the morning?"

""Uhmm…noooo, I'm going to catch some z's before the wedding."

"I told Lando to let me know if any hanky panky is going to occur. The guys already gave Han a bachelor party. Lando's telling me it's not what I think it is. And I have nothing to worry about."

"He's right, Dad. It's nothing for you or Leia to worry about."

"Oh."

"Well, I'm going to bed. I'm exhausted."

"Okay, goodnight, son."

"Goodnight, Dad. Love you."

He leans over and kisses his father on the forehead. As Luke heads inside, he speaks again without looking back.

"Goodnight, Qui-Gon."

Luke disappears inside the house and heads upstairs. The specter of Qui-Gon appears in front of the Lemon tree planter. He grabs a piece of fruit from the tree and spins it with the Force like a planet spinning around the sun. He takes a seat in the chair opposite Anakin.

'_Hey, Ani.'_

"You've been quiet today."

'_I just wanted to observe. I'm not one to interfere in the lives of the living.'_

Anakin cannot believe what he is hearing.

"Oh, of course not. Sooo… you witnessed that spectacle with the old man?"

'_He can sure ham it up. What a performance. Before you know it, he'll be on the Actor's Studio in a few months to talk about it.'_

"I was seriously thinking of killing him myself if he ruined Leia's weekend."

'_Leia was 'effing' serious when she said she didn't care if his freeze-dried corpse was placed inside the pew tomorrow. She determined he was not going to upstage her on her wedding day. Is it too late to call a taxidermist or call for cryogenic services ?'_

"Stop. It's not funny. Besides, I've already tried. And there's no carbonite service on weekends."

'_Oh, Hell it was funny! Do you believe the story about the tea?'_

"Hell no, but I knew he was pushing Solo's buttons. It was only a matter of time before he got what was coming to him."

'_So, how are you otherwise, Ani?'_

"I'm good."

'_I know about the dreams. I promise it will all work out.'_

"How can you promise that? Qui-Gon, time is passing so quickly. I feel as if I'm on a Flash speeder ride and I can't enjoy the scenery because never stops moving. I don't want to lose any of this."

He throws his arms up as he looks around him. It is not the house and the beautiful garden with the fragrant lemon trees and flowers. It is 'why' he has them and the reasons are all sleeping upstairs. He releases a heavy sigh and looks at Qui-Gon with a faint smile.

"I don't want any of this to be over. I don't want anything to change."

'_I know what you want, Ani. Trust me, I don't believe it's been successfully attained…by anyone…not Jedi, Dark Jedi, Sith…anyone. You're just going through what every father experiences.'_ Qui-Gon turns his head to look up at the moon and smiles. He looks back at Anakin. _'You know what you need?'_

Anakin realizes how silly he is being. He is ready to hear what his master has to say next. He smiles.

"What do I need, Master?"

'_A vacation. Take the family…the little ones. Luke has things to do…and, Ani?_'

"Yes, Qui-Gon?"

'_You worry too much. Go to bed.'_

"I suppose I should. What are you going to do?"

Qui-Gon stretches and smiles broadly. He seems so comfortable in his Force Ghost state. He has never complained about not being part of the corporeal universe. Anakin sees a happy spirit sitting there in the garden. Qui-Gon looks up at the billions of stars systems in the distance. He nods as if approving of how the galaxy looks. Everything seems to be in place. He stands and takes in the night air.

'_It's a lovely night for a walk.'_

"Goodnight, Master."

Anakin leaves his chair and walks inside. As the sliding door closes, he can hear the ghost humming a tune Ana-Lena had taught him.

'_Goodnight, my love, _

_the tired old moon is descending,_

_Goodnight my love,_

_My moment with you now is ending'_

Qui-Gon whistles the rest of the tune as he fades down the path through the fragrant rows of freesia.

Anakin ascends the stairs to the master bedroom. He has a long and peaceful sleep.


	135. Chapter 135 Going to the Chapel

_Chapter 135_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Periwinkle Maids All in A Row' _

'_Going to the Chapel'_

'_Wedding Crash and Burn'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_Lord and Lady Anakin Skywalker_

_invite you to join them_

_in a celebration of love_

_as their daughter,_

_Leia Amidala, Princess of Theed_

_is united in marriage to_

_General Johann James B. Solo Jr._

_son of Profs. Johann James B. and Sabrina Solo Sr._

_on Saturday, the 17 of August_

_at five o'clock in the evening_

_St. Sinis Holy Jedi Cathedral_

_Coruscant_

The morning is unusually calm at 620 Faleen HyperDrive today. There is a cook and full housekeeping staff on duty to tend to everyone's needs. No one needs to lift a finger and the children are quiet…all is peaceful…for now.

Across town, things are a bit more challenging for the groom.

"Chewie, take it easy! No one's going to hurt you"

The Wookie howls back. Han looks frustrated but tries again.

"When have I ever lied to you? I'm asking you to trust me. I would never ask you to do anything as drastic as this…not normally. Chewie, it's my wedding day. Please, I'm begging you."

Chewbacca looks into Han's eyes. He can tell that his friend is desperate. Suddenly Chewie gurgles something to Han then hugs him.

"I promise never to ask you to do anything like this again."

Trust is once again restored. Chewbacca agrees to help his dear friend.

Lando and Han escort him into a room. Three attendants are waiting. A spa esthetician enters the room. The door closes. A soft humming sound is heard from some electrical appliance. Muffled screams fill the room after door locks.

Back at the Skywalker home, Isabel is sitting at the breakfast table early for once. Anakin wakes up and lumbers downstairs out onto the patio. It seems like a full house. Everyone is smiling and relaxed. Uncle Owen is unusually cheerful this morning. The day room is closed off so as not to disturb the many wedding gifts stored there. The younger siblings have been curious.

Anakin is laughing and joking with family and guests around the table. He looks to his left; his wife is as beautiful as ever. He looks to his right. His two beautiful daughters smile at him. He kisses each one before taking his place at the head of the table.

"So, Miss Leia, how's the princess and her court this morning? Ladies."

The bridesmaids blush when they turn to listen to him. He is still handsome in middle age. Leia responds to her father's question.

"We're fine. Thanks, Daddy."

"Any last minute changes, wishes or surprises?"

"None that I can think of, Daddy."

"You mean I don't get yelled at today? I haven't made any faux pas to embarrass my eldest daughter? Shocking!"

"I'm cutting you a break today. We have an appointment later, remember?"

"Ah! Yes. I'll be there." He turns his attention to Ana-Lena. "…and how's my beautiful little flower girl?"

"I'm fine, Daddy. How are you today?"

"I'm walking on clouds, sweet pea."

"You're happy then. I'm glad."

"Ryoo, Pooja, Fiolla, Winter, you ladies look radiant in your fashionable loungewear. I see that the junior bridesmaids are here. Where is the rest of your entourage, _'Miss Thing.'_?"

He winks at Leia. She blushes as she eats her yogurt.

"The guys will join us later, Daddy."

"I see your 'axis of terror' is here. Good morning, boys."

Alex and Li-An know that their father is referring to them. He would not dare leave them out of his morning briefing. By end of breakfast, every member of the family knows where they stand. Alex and Li-An greet their father like little angels.

"Good morning, Dad."

He looks at them with a warning tone in his voice.

"Don't aggravate your sister today."

"We're not. What sort of awful kids do you take us for? What about Luke and Kris? Why don't you pick on them? We love our sister. Give us a little credit."

Alex agrees.

"Yeah."

"I'm just saying…You two have not been on your best behavior in the past month few months."

Li-An sips his blue milk.

"Hey! I'm offended." He suddenly thinks of something. "Uhm…Will you please excuse me for a minute?"

He leaves the table and disappears inside the house. He goes upstairs and sneaks into Leia's room, opens the door to her walk-in closet and removes a shoebox. The box has several air holes around the top and sides. He quickly and quietly runs downstairs to the garden just off the living room. He lifts the lid and dumps a 6-inch pygmy Hutt snail into the Hydrangea shrubs. The box has a green post-it attached. He heads for the recycling room behind the kitchen. He places the box inside the trash compactor. The post-it reads 'Kiss me; I'm your true prince!' He casually returns to the breakfast table and eats his waffles.

Isabel watches her son as he returns to his place at the table. She finally releases her gaze. He has been up to something; she can feel it. Anakin is truly in a blissful mood this morning. He does not even ponder what Li-An has been up too. He is pleased at what he sees. His happy, beautiful children are all seated around him.

"Well, I must say, this is really nice. I'm starving!"

He grabs his fork and knife then begins eating.

Leia and her bridesmaids leave the table to head in town to the salon and the spa for a few hours. They have to do all of that 'girl' stuff. Anakin and the boys go to the family room and play cards.

The table out in the garden is set up for lunch. The Naberrie's stop by for a casual get-together.

Across town, Leia and her friends are enjoying having their hair and nails done and getting a massage. They hear strange noises from across the hall in one of the treatment rooms. The sounds are muffled but it sound so disturbing but also comical.

Leia looks at Winter who is having her nails done.

"Did you hear that?"

"Sound's like someone is getting tortured in there."

"Teeheehee! Must be an all day appointment."

Ryoo giggles.

"Whoever it is they sound ghastly."

Pooja taps one of the attendants in the room.

"What is that noise?"

"I believe it's a first-time client. They've never been to a spa before. They've been in there since early this morning."

"Oh."

Back at the Skywalker home, the Naberrie's catch a few minutes with Leia upon her return from the salon. Her hair is done. Anakin wants Leia to enjoy some private time with her grandparents before the ceremony.

Anakin and the Skywalker boys are lounging by the pool sipping lemonade in their terry robes. Their chairs are lined up in a row. Anakin and his three eldest sons don sunglasses. There is a sign taped on the inside sliding door 'No Girls Allowed'. Ana-Lena goes to her mother to inform her that the boys won't let her join them.

"Mom? The boys put a sign on the door and locked me inside."

"Oh, is that so? Well, there is more than one way to get onto the patio, sweetie."

"I want to be welcomed. I know Daddy would welcome me, but he's bowing to peer pressure."

"Well, sweetie, we girls need to take the high road. Let's have our own private time. We'll have a tea party before we get dressed. We'll let Daddy have his moment today."

"Oh, that's right. This is the day everyone is cutting him some slack, huh?"

"Something like that."

"Oh! I have to do something important."

"Like what, little girl?"

"I have to call somebody."

"You don't have time to call anyone. You need to start getting ready."

"This won't take long."

Luke walks in from the patio. Isabel looks down to speak to Ana-Lena but she has disappeared.

"We need some more snacks"

Isabel looks at him with her hands on her hips.

"Luke, you and your brothers need to get dressed soon. Where's Ana-Lena?"

"Mom, you're losing it. Can't keep track of your kids. Heheheh!"

She throws her arms in the air. Ana-Lena is on phone in the kitchen. Luke fills a bowl with some Endor trail mix.

"So, are you coming?...Are you sure? You did promise…okay…oh….my mom's calling me. I have to go. See you later, okay? I'm always good. Bye-bye…"

Isabel catches her as she hangs up.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to get my tea set. Remember? You promised."

"Oh…alright…but we can't play too long. We'll need to get ready. Don't you want to take a nap?"

"No."

"Take one anyway. It's going to be a long night. Fifteen minutes for tea and that's it."

Before heading upstairs, Isabel instructs one of the servants to alert the 'Skywalker Boys' Club' to get off their asses and get ready for the wedding.

Jobal, Ruwee and Sola sit at the dining table in the garden enjoying some fresh fruit and iced tea. Jobal is beaming as she fusses over her granddaughter.

"So, you're all set?"

"Yes. I'm all set."

"You look happy."

"I am, Oma, really. "

"If your mother could see you now. She would be so proud."

"I know she would. I've been so lucky to have so many people who love and care about me. I have a great family."

Ruwee pats Leia's hand then kisses it. She has petite, delicate hands like Padmé. This is the moment he wished he had been part of almost a quarter century ago. He wishes he had the chance to walk Padmé down the aisle. He starts to think about the 'what ifs' but then he looks at Leia and realizes part of her is right here in front of him and that he should be grateful.

Aunt Sola is excited for her only niece.

"Our little Leia's getting betrothed! Your gown is gorgeous. It was so nice of Theed Palace lend you the royal dressmaker to assist with the beading."

"I was shocked. I didn't know I could use them. Oma, thanks for the hair band. I promise to take good care of it."

Jobal informed her granddaughter that she had a surprise for her when the family arrives on Coruscant. The flat square blue velvet box is handed to Leia on the first day of their visit. Padmé last wore the platinum-jeweled hair band before the twins were born. It is an exquisite piece. Naboo craftsmanship is among the finest in the galaxy. The jewels are rare flawless blue rubies; Twenty-four stones to be exact. Leia feels like the luckiest girl in the galaxy today.

"Oma, Opa, this day means so much to me to have you here. Thank you so much. I love you guys!"

They spend the moment hugging. Her grandparents and aunt leave to return to the hotel to change for the wedding. Anakin arranges for their lodging and transportation during their visit.

Threepio, Skippy, and Artoo are just returning from the droid spa. They get spiffed up for the big event too. The oil baths and buffing until they shine is the regimen for the day. Each droid has a factory seal attached to certify that they are clean and in top operating condition.

Isabel's parents arrive to take the boys. Aunt Beru is left in charge of baby Krizstan. They prepare to take him to the wedding. Uncle Owen grabs the diaper bag. Beru laughs.

"Oh, Owen, you look so handsome in your formalwear."

"Why are you laughing?"

"The diaper bag adds a nice touch."

He grumbles in his curmudgeonly way before leading her to the door.

The house is still busy with guests, bridesmaids giggling down the hall, droids milling about, junior bridesmaids fussing over an adorable little flower girl, and a holographer capturing every frenzied moment.

Luke heads downstairs after being on the receiving end of whistles from his female cousins and the other bridesmaids. He waits in the living room for Isabel so he can escort her to the cathedral. The holographer is in the upstairs sitting room taking images of the bride and her entourage. It is a lovely room, not used often, but perfect for occasions such as this. Leia interrupts the holograph session to have a moment with Isabel. Everyone else gathers in the hall to pose for more holographs.

Leia giggles after closing the door. She opens her arms as Isabel walks inside.

"Mom, thank you for all of this!"

Isabel smiles and embraces her feisty stepdaughter.

"It's finally happening."

"It's all due to you. I haven't always been easy to deal with but I want you to know you have been wonderful and so supportive throughout my life. You're the best mother anyone could ever hope for and I am so blessed. I just want to tell you now before the day gets so hectic that we don't get a chance to talk."

The two sit on the satin bench near the double doors leading to the balcony. A soft breezy blows the floor length sheer curtains.

"Leia, I have always had your best interest in mind. I wanted to make this day perfect for you."

"Is Palps still coming?"

They laugh.

"Okay, near-perfect. Your father wouldn't let my brother lock him up for the weekend."

"That's okay. What's a dysfunctional family event without old Palps around to stir the pot?"

"Pleasant?" The giggle.

"How's Daddy doing?"

"He seems okay. I left him in the room to get ready. I'm sure he'll have a lot to say to you.

"Well, you need to finish getting ready…."

"No…wait…we have to get a mother-daughter picture before the wedding. Give me a few minutes and I'll get ready."

Leia and Isabel spend some more time together chatting.

Nakai and Ouisanne stop by to take Li-An and Alex. Li-An wears a black grosgrain ribbon at the end of his Padawan braid. His thick blond bangs are swept to the side. Alex cannot wait to grow his Padawan braid. For now, he looks quite the little Jedi Youngling with his blunt chin-length haircut with wisps of blond locks curved away from his face. His grandmother says it makes his face more kissable because she can see his rosy cheeks. Aunt Bunny says the same thing, except she said she wants to eat him up because he's so sweet. He is a bit concerned however about Aunt Bunny's cannibalistic urges.

Isabel stops back in the master bedroom to check on Anakin. He is in his walk-in closet adjusting his cuffs to his tuxedo shirt. Isabel pokes her head in the door.

"Hi, how's it going, handsome?"

"Fine. I'm glad I bought a new outfit. I look damned good." He admires himself in the mirror then winks. He turns to look at her. "Well, hello there. I was wondering why you were pushing me to wear these gold cuff links. Nice dress. Sexy."

"I was going for elegant; this is a religious ceremony but Thanks."

"Well, holy hot stuff…it is elegant."

He fumbles with his boutonnière.

"I think there's a compliment in there somewhere. I'll look for it later. Let me help you with that."

Isabel attaches the boutonnière to his lapel. Anakin likes it when she helps him. He gazes down at her; she makes sure the whites flower is correctly positioned.

"Thanks."

"My pleasure."

He takes her by the hand and makes her turn as he admires her gold silk gown with detached ¾ length sleeves and goddess neckline. Her matching wrap is embroidered with tiny gold leaf Imperial emblems.

"Want to hang out later tonight?"

"Maybe."

"Well, I'm going to head downstairs. See you later."

"I love you." She kisses him and touches his face.

"I know." Anakin leaves the room. Isabel has a last few minutes with Leia.

Anakin and Luke are downstairs. Luke walks over to his father.

"It's almost showtime, Dad. Nervous?"

"I was fine before you brought it up, thank you very much."

"What's taking them so long?"

"Who knows…they're probably telling each other how good they all look. Can't you hear the squealing? Your sister had better get down here; I have someplace to go; I can't wait here all day." He checks himself in the foyer mirror on last time.

"Where are you going?"

"To a wedding."

"You too? What a coincidence., so am I."

Isabel finally appears and heads downstairs. Luke whistles.

"Wow! Mom, you look hot. Nice dress."

"Thanks, Luke. You look pretty hot yourself. Both of you look extremely handsome today. Anakin, you're smiling. Very nice."

Anakin proudly shows off his attire.

"See? I can look cheerful in black. We still have a date later, right?"

"Try to hit on me during the reception."

"So, I'll see you later then."

"Yes. Luke and I have to go."

Luke takes Isabel on his arm.

"Ready to go, milady?"

"I am." She leans over to her husband and gives him a kiss."

"You'll do great, babe."

"Thanks."

Anakin hears the bevy of bridesmaids heading for the stairs. Ana-Lena is with them. Anakin sees the older girls first. They look beautiful in their mermaid-cut periwinkle gowns and matching bouquets with white orchids mixed in the bunch. Each bouquet is hand- tied with an organdy ribbon. Ana-Lena and the junior bridesmaids wear variations of the periwinkle theme. Ana-Len's dress is white organza with cap sleeves and a satin periwinkle sash. Her hair is tied into a triple-looped ponytail that resemble Padmé's Naboo parade hairdo. There are tiny flowers in her hair. She carries a bouquet of her own. She hurries over to her father.

"Look at my new dress, Daddy." She turns for him.

"You look gorgeous, sweet pea."

"Thank you. I'm going to wear this when I get married."

Anakin clears his throat. He is not sure if he should be amused or horrified. He can only think about surrendering one daughter at a time. He manages to laugh nervously.

"Well, sweet pea, I think you're going to want another dress by the time that happens."

"Ohh…no I won't. I'm going to take care of it and save it."

He gets an image of himself walking down the aisle to give away his youngest daughter. As he reaches the altar, he sees a lecherous adult version of Cort Needa dressed in a smoking jacket and velour trousers, holding a martini in one hand and taking a barely-legal Ana-Lena with the other. He screams when he sees what she is wearing. Unknown forces pull him farther away from his daughter. It is her flower girl dress, ten sizes too small. It looks like a strippers' baby doll nightie with a matching thong. Instead of adorable white Mary Jane's on her feet, she is wearing 4-inch white platform shoes. The playboy groom slaps his bride on her scantily clad bottom and flashes a smile. Aunt Bunny is the maid of honor. She turns to look at Anakin.

'_Hey, Ani, shug…this is going to be the best wedding yet. I'm honored she asked me to help with the wedding. See you at the club for the reception. All the groomsmen get 500 credits of Bunny Hutch money for lap dances. Would you believe this is the first time I've been asked to be a maid of honor?'_

She blows him a kiss.

Anakin screams as he continues to be pulled away. He feels as if he is falling down a long dark shaft. The congregation laughs. No one tries to save him. The wedding goes on without him.

"Daddy? Daddy? Eskimo kiss."

"Huh?"

"Eskimo kiss, Daddy. I have to go."

Anakin blinks a few times, as he looks down. All he sees is his angelic little four-year old daughter. It was all just a dream. It's probably his breakfast repeating on him. He tries to swallow. It feels as if he has eaten a mouthful of sand. He manages to take a breath. He does not realize that he has been holding his breath the entire time. Anakin is able to speak again. Ana-Lena looks at him with concern.

"Are you okay, Daddy? We have to do an Eskimo kiss for luck. I have to go now."

"Oh, of course, sweet pea." He leans over and kisses her cheek then rubs his nose against hers. This is one of their new rituals while reading his daughter the bedtime story 'Wally Wampa and the Eskimo Village'. The new book tells the story about a Wampa who learns kindness and friendship from a group of children in a village on Hoth. Luke bought it for her as a birthday gift.

Anakin whispers to her. "Don't grow up on me yet, Ana-Le. We still have a lot to do together."

"Ha-Ha! I know, Daddy. We're going on holiday, silly!" She puts her arms around his neck. Anakin hugs her as if he does not want to let go. He notices the bracelet gift that Leia had given her. He finally releases his little girl. Ana-Lena takes Pooja's hand. Pooja winks at her uncle.

"See you in a bit, Uncle An."

"Sure. You ladies look beautiful."

Anakin feels better now. He knows he will have nothing to worry about in years to com. His baby girl will marry well.

The bridal party leaves. The droids head out too. Threepio pats Anakin on the shoulder before leaving. No words are exchanged. The protocol droid knows how his master is feeling right now.

Almost everyone is gone. The seamstress, a female assistant to Roulf who he still cannot understand, and the maids, are still rushing around upstairs. The holographer is apparently taking more images of the bride. It is quiet now.

One of the servants hands Anakin a glass of lemon water. He steps out into the garden near the living room. He starts to feel more relaxed after several sips from the glass. Anakin tries not to think too much about the next couple of hours. He tries to concentrate on the breathing exercises his therapist had taught him.

Anakin thinks back all those years ago when he and Leia would have those father-daughter knockdown, drag-out fights. It was ugly at times. He regretted the lost opportunities and ponders how he would have handled things differently. He was a young, inexperienced father then. He thinks back and decides he is glad he made those mistakes because he was able to learn and grow as a parent. He gained the trust of his daughter. Anakin looks out at the garden where she used to have her tea parties with her friends and her many dolls, but his most treasured moments were the ones where she enlisted the participation of the droids. How she would torment poor Threepio! Even Anakin would be enlisted to sit in one of the little chairs when her friends did not come over because of inclement weather or mostly because she had a fight with one of her them. Well, his little spitfire was sort of bossy. Anakin told her she didn't have to be the leader all the time. Her friends would appreciate that. She began to realize that her father was making sense. Those were some of his best memories of her childhood.

Anakin makes his way to the door. He stops for a moment and looks in his glass. The water is gone.

"Daddy? I'm ready."

Anakin turns in the doorway. He looks up the staircase. He struggles to speak.

She looks like an angel. The white silk satin mermaid-cut gown is cinched in the back with wide satin straps makes her appear taller than her 5 foot 2 inch petite frame.

Anakin feels his emotions well up inside him. He cannot let her see him like this. He steps inside and sets the glass on the silver tray near door. He quickly recovers as he clears his throat.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Leia laughs. She is glad for this. She does not tell him that the reason she has taken longer than expected was because she was having a chat with Isabel and that she could not stop crying. Leia cried plenty in the past but never like today. The makeup artist was patient with her and reapplied Leia's makeup a few times. She is able to recover too. She has a zinger of her own for dear ol' dad. The attendant helps her down the stairs then leaves the father and daughter alone. Leia shoots back like an rebel blaster pistol.

"So, is that your new gambling outfit? I see you're competing with Lando to be the most suave person at the Sabacc table; or is this pod racing today?"

"What's it to you? By the way, if you're looking for your periwinkle entourage, they left already. I think they drove back to the mall to exchange their dresses. When are they ever going to wear those fright frocks again? You brides run a cruel game."

"Hey, those dresses are not from the mall. They didn't come cheap."

"Tell me about it. I got the bill."

"This day is all about me you know. I'm supposed to be the center of attention. I'm looking out for number one. That's me."

"Sorry I asked. So, are you ready?"

"Yes, of course! I'm not standing here for my health."

Anakin glances back at the veil and 25-foot train with the Jedi emblem surrounded by smaller Naboo emblems at the border. He takes her on his arm then glances back.

"Alright, let's go…you know you're dragging your bed sheet and tennis net behind you?"

Leia turns up her nose and ignores him. There is a smile on her face. The seamstress and assistant help with the train as they head out the front door. Anakin is making 'Choo-choo' sounds.

"Air train leaving the station. All aboard!"

Anakin has a smirk on his face as he watches the attendants load billows of white fabric into the seat of their carriage. The two sit quietly as their journey begins. Anakin digs into his inside pocket and pulls out a tiny package. He hands it to her.

"I wasn't sure if you had anything blue so…here you go. Knock yourself out."

Leia laughs when she examines the packet he gives her.

"Ahaha! You remember this stuff?"

"I remember lots of things."

It is the bubble gum she used to love as a child. It comes in five flavors and colors. Anakin recalls the sweet smell wafting across his face during that long drive to the Lars Homestead and to Obi-Wan's hut. He suspects the gum base must be addictive as so much of the vegetation on Felucia is. Kids love the stuff.

Leia smiles with glee as she unwraps one and pops it in her mouth. She offers her father a piece. They sit in the back of the carriage blowing blue bubbles. After a few minutes, it turns into a competition.

"You'll get gum in your veil."

"No I won't. I've been chewing this since I was a kid."

They proceed to engage in a bubble-blowing contest. Leia performs her infamous double bubble in a bubble trick Anakin is not impressed. Anakin promises to beat her at her own game. He blows a cluster of bubbles. They continue to outdo each other until someone loses. The popping noise before the break is ego shattering.

Leia turns to her father, removes her white gloves, and peels the gum off of his face.

"See? I told you not to mess with me. I'm still the undefeated champ."

"It's not nice to gloat. It's not the Jedi way. Hand it over, show-off."

"You're just mad 'cause you're a spaz at this."

"You know, we can turn this carriage around. Spit out the gum."

He opens his hand. Leia spits out the wad of blue goo. Anakin tosses it into the waste receptacle. They move on to some of the popular intergalactic road trip games. Leia and Luke use to play 'I Spy a Star Destroyer' and 'Rock, Paper, Sarlacc' as children. Anakin used to groan when the twins carried on with these silly games on the ship and when they took ground transport. He thought the games would never end. The fun does end when the carriage arrives in front of the cathedral.

Anakin looks at his daughter. Her veil is off her face while they played games during the ride over. They had not noticed the throngs of spectators lining the city streets as they made their journey across town. Anakin carefully reaches for her veil.

"This is where we get out. Let me fix this."

He is meticulous as he arranges the delicate fabric over her face. As he does this, he realizes he is saying goodbye to his daughter.

A footman opens the door and helps her out. Her bridesmaids assist in arranging her train and gown. Anakin steps out of the carriage after her. He is careful not to step on 'the yards of 'bed sheets' trailing behind her. Her ornate hair band sparkles through the tulle veil as press holographers snap pictures. She wears Padmé's jewels proudly. It remained locked up with no expectation of ever seeing it used again until Jobal and Ruwee discovered that had a new granddaughter. The handwritten note from Jobal assured Leia, _'Your mother would have wanted you to have this.'_

Leia savors these last moments outside with her bridal party and her father.

Meanwhile, inside the cathedral the last of the guests are seated. Soft music is playing. Members of the galactic senate of Naboo, Alderaan, and a few other parts of the galaxy, friendly to the family attend. The Queen of Naboo arrives and sits near Supreme Chancellor Valorum. Obi-Wan sits at the altar with the other members of the Jedi High Council. Several officers from the Imperial armed forces and their spouses are also in attendance. Jar-Jar arrives and sits with the officers.

At the top step of the altar at the foot of a marble statue of St. Sinis is a duplicate wedding bouquet with a prayer attached. A framed plaque reads:

'_In memory of Padmé Amidala, Mother of Luke and Leia, Galactic Senator, and Queen of Naboo'_

Although it reminds everyone of a sad moment in history, today is one of joy; and as Master Yoda says, 'Celebrate their life; do not mourn their death.'

Newlyweds Callista Ming and Valin Halcyon arrive and sit next to Professor Higgins and his wife. Kyle Katarn is also close by accompanied by friends Rocca Tachi and Sena Shan. They look around for Mara.

Mara and her parents arrive. Mara wears a tri-tone halter gown with a silver bodice and green iridescent skirt with a blue silk-banded waist. A five-foot matching train is attached. She wears silver sling back pumps. She asked Isabel to help he find a dress that would not embarrass Luke. Isabel is happy to oblige and never tells Luke that she helped. Perhaps she should have been summoned to assist Mara's mother Maggie. Mrs. Jade is a bright vision in red.

Vic Jade had no intention of going to the wedding but Maggie Jade told him she would make his life miserable if she misses the event. He looks uncomfortable as he stands in the pew with the other guests. He tugs at his collar as he looks around at the many famous faces in the pews. They are seated near Professor Higgins and his wife Nurse Ratched. The Queen of Naboo, the Chancellor, Gladys, her husband and some other high-ranking officials sit in the first row. Maggie brings her mini camcorder-holocam combo along to capture some candid memories.

Palpatine shuffles in wearing a dark suit and grey ascot. He cautiously avoids the holy water font near the entrance. Trailing behind him is Lorian Nod wearing velvet bedroom slippers and one of Palpatine's old smoking jackets. He recently purchased a vehicle with bonus credits from attending all of those arts and crafts classes for seniors. When Palpatine got wind of the new purchase, he pointedly informed his retirement home buddy that he should share in the use of the speeder since he also participated in the cooking class. Palpatine's claim has no merit but Lorian knew he would never hear the end of it. He asked if the old sith could at least bring back a piece of the wedding cake for the favor.

Palpatine, always suspicious and thinking ahead, realizes he also needs a ride home. He manages to slip his old pal into the wedding in order to guarantee transport at the end of the evening. Palpatine makes his way to the Skywalker pew. A few family members from Isabel's side are already in their seats. He greets them as he is escorted to his place. The Naberrie family takes their places in the same pew. Palpatine tries to make eye contact with them and flashes a smile but they barely acknowledge him.

Across from the Skywalker pew is the groom's side. A few distant relatives fill the Solo entourage. 0Men in black suits and wearing dark glasses, however fill three rows. A severe looking woman with white hair and a matronly formal floor-length teal skirt and matching button-front beaded jacket arrives. Two men, also in dark suits, flank her.

Professor Solo arrives with his wife Sabrina. She wears a beaded navy gown with blue and white plumes in the back. On her head is a large jeweled headpiece. Anyone unfortunate enough to sit behind her will definitely have an obstructed view. Han's father looks dashing in his tuxedo and with his white tie and tails. He wears a white Felucia orchid boutonnière on his lapel. He stretches his arm and lifts his wrist as if to glance at his watch. He discreetly speaks into it. Behind one of the pillars on the other side of the cathedral, a man is a dark suit seems to respond in kind.

An opera singer performs an aria _'La Forza è Con lei'_ from the Corellian opera _'Il Pastore e la Principessa'_.

Outside the cathedral, spectators and the media clamor to get a glimpse of all the galactic guests and, of course, the bride. Everyone is lining the streets for a look at the 'Princess and the Nerfherder.'

Isabel arrives at the cathedral accompanied by Luke. She takes her place in the front row with Jobal and Ruwee. The rest of the Naberrie family is in the next row along with Isabel's parents and the remainder of the family behind them.

Palpatine is in the next row at the far end. He is trying to get her attention.

"Isabel…Isabel…psst…psst."

Isabel is hoping she does not have to speak to the old goat. She continues facing forward until she can no longer ignore him. She takes a deep breath then turns slowly. She is startled when she feels a cold pale hand touching her shoulder.

"Oh, Isabel, I just wanted to tell you how beautiful you look this evening. You must be so excited. There are so many fans waiting outside to see us. They were clamoring for my autograph and showering me with fruit, but of course, I would never take the limelight away from Leia on her special day. So, you must be so excited. I know I am. I threaten…I _'suggested'_ to the old fogies at the old Shady Acres Retirement Home to watch the festivities on the plasma today….if they know what's good for them. They heed my words. I'm their champion….can I sit next to you?"

"This is Anakin's place."

"Oh, he won't mind. I'll just keep his seat warm. You and I never get to chat at these functions."

Isabel recoils as Palpatine moves into the space reserved for Anakin. This is not her day. As the old man is sliding into Anakin's seat, Professor Solo and his wife are reading their programs in the other private pew across the floor. While Sabrina Solo engages in quiet conversation with another family member, the professor looks up from his program and winks at Isabel across the floor. She looks around to see whom he is winking. He then points to her then himself in some bizarre cryptic pantomime. Ruwee Naberrie sees this while looking around and admiring the great architecture. He catches Solo then turns to Isabel. He cranes his neck to find Palpatine also vying for Isabel's attention. Ruwee whispers something to Jobal and they slide over to sit with Isabel. This does not stop Palpatine. He engages in conversation with her.

"Oh, isn't this cozy…all the families together at last! Isabel, I'm so glad everyone has set aside their differences." He reaches over and tries to put his arm around Jobal and Ruwee. He backs off when he sees that Ruwee does not share same enthusiasm as the old Sith. Almost immediately two burly men in dark suits surround the old man. One says nothing however, at least one of the men looks familiar. Palpatine's beady old eyes light up.

"Well! Hello, Tiny…where's Tomo? What a surprise to see you here. How did you get invited?"

"We're on special assignment. Tomo is on vacation this week. This is my partner Odd Job. Did you come with the old guy in the smoking jacket?"

"Yes…that's Lorian Nod from the retirement home. Surely, you remember him."

"Our employer doesn't want any wedding crashers."

"It's okay…he's with me. I can vouch for him." Palpatine nervously clears his voice. "Ahem…sooo…you boys moonlighting to make some extra change are you now?"

"We're not at liberty to say."

"I see…Oh, have you met my lovely daughter-in-law and the rest of our blended family?"

"Tiny and Odd Job nod reverently to Isabel, her family, and the Naberrie's. Tiny speaks in his deep monotone voice.

"Mr. P. you need to return to your assigned seat."

The silent Odd Job hovers waiting for Palpatine to move along before he physically moves the old man himself.

"What? Oh…well…of course…heheh." He nervously trots back to his place in the family pew.

Odd Job adjusts the bowler hat he is wearing then follows Tiny to the back near a pillar.

Ruwee leans over and whispers to Isabel.

"Well, that was a lucky break."

Meanwhile, in the back of the cathedral in the rectory, Han is pacing the floor. He knocks on the door. Threepio, Lando, Kyp, Bo'shek, and Luke poke their heads out. Luke shakes his head 'No.' This infuriates Han.

"What do you mean he said 'No.'?"

"He won't come out."

"Why that ungrateful fuzz ball! After all I did for him. Tell him to get out here or we're no longer friends."

Threepio pokes his head out the door this time.

"He flat out refuses. He says he looks ridiculous. He feels violated." He pulls his head back inside then pokes it out again. "General Solo, he also says he feels cold and you should be thanking him!"

"Tell Bigfoot…"

Threepio thinks for a moment before he decides to translate. He had just been at the droid spa earlier in the day.

"You know what? I think that should come directly from you. It comes out so much nicer that way."

He leaves the little room where the Wookie is holed up. Han pounds on the door then speaks to the Wookie. Everyone else is standing outside with Han.

"Chewie, if you don't come out immediately, our friendship is over. This is my wedding day. I don't need any crap today."

Luke gives Han a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

"Any new look needs an adjustment period."

"Well I need him to adjust for one hour. How long are these wedding ceremonies?"

"An hour…hour and a half tops."

Han stares at Luke in disbelief. He is overwhelmed then frantically pounds on the door yelling.

"For an hour and a half! I'm the one suffering. My life is over once I set foot on that altar!"

Han throws up his hands as if to surrender. He turns away. He hears the door opening.

The groomsmen follow the best man and the groom out of the rectory. Han and Chewie take their places at the altar. When the fat lady finishes her aria, the wedding music begins.

The Jedi priest appears at the altar. He greets Han. Han's mother tries to get his attention by gesturing to him. She wants him to sweep a lock of hair off his forehead. He rolls his eyes then complies. He looks at his feet, blows a quiet whistle, then looks up the aisle at the double doors. He and Chewie avoid making eye contact with one another. Guests are wondering to themselves who the best man is.

Artoo is escorting the remaining guests to their seats.

The groomsmen leave to take their positions in the processional with the bridesmaids.

Anakin is at the end of the procession with Leia. Roulf is giving everyone pointers and waves his arms to the rhythm of the music.

"Und one two three, und one two three…Brautmadchen! Parfact…parfact…"

The procession marches up the aisle like a well-oiled cruiser. Ana-Lena takes her job as a flower girl seriously. The older flower girls and junior bridesmaids walk in front of her. The boys are next. Alex carries the ring and Li-An carries the official note of approval signed by Anakin and the Jedi Council.

Ana-Lena holds her bouquet and turns for a brief glance at her father and sister. Anakin gives her a reassuring wink. She smiles and faces forward. Anakin whispers to his eldest daughter as they stand in the alcove waiting for their turn to cross the threshold into the cathedral.

"Are you sure you want to marry this clown? It's not too late to change your mind you know. I won't judge you."

"Dad…"

"We all make mistakes."

"No, Dad, I haven't changed my mind."

"I'm just putting it out there. You still have your room at home…I was going to convert it into a gaming room but I'm in no hurry…"

"Daddy, zip it…I'm fine."

"Okay…Is that your final answer? You're going blindly into the sea of uncertainty. You're still young. You can turn back."

"Daddy, you worry too much."

"I'm not worried. You kids are free to make your own mistakes. I'm just here to point them out."

"You've made your point."

"I guess we don't need to have _'the talk'.'_"

"Oh, now you're just sounding desperate. No, I'm good. Thanks for asking at the last minute." She laughs. "Anything else you want to get out of your system?"

"Are you still mad about the time I grounded you and your brother for going to that plasma ball game and I took away your driving privileges?"

Leia giggles softly.

"I'm still getting married, Daddy."

"I know…I was just testing you. Hey, is it left foot first or right foot first? Or left ball change…"

"I think hat's a tap dance step, Daddy."

"Oh…good to know. I'm an awful tap dancer."

"You're not going to trip me up to get a cheap laugh later." She looks at her father. "You look really nice today, Dad."

"Thanks for the shirt. It's not as if I don't know how to pick out my own shirts. I have a sense of style. I wasn't going to wear all black."

"Are you nervous? You're rambling."

"Just call home every once in awhile, okay?"

"I promise."

Roulf gives them their cue. Their conversation ends.

"Und right foot front und left…wunderbar Mr. Skywalker…parfact….not too schnell… Achkay …"

Anakin is not thinking about clobbering the annoying little wedding planner today. He is performing his duty as a father.

The bridesmaids and groomsmen take their positions at the altar. The groomsmen pretend not to notice the tension between Solo and his best friend the best man.

All eyes are on the bride and her father as the music swells. The Jedi High Council watch as the two approach the altar. Nerfherder is standing there with that silly smirk on his face. Perhaps one last Force choke for old time sake would allow for closure… _'sith'_! Not going to happen. Suddenly Han's smirk turns into a sincere smile. Anakin extends a hand to the man who is claiming his daughter. As the two men engage in this heartfelt moment, Anakin is wondering who the missing link is standing next to Han wearing the monkey suit.

Anakin lifts his daughter's veil and kisses her gently on the cheek. He is careful to arrange the veil just the way it was. Pooja and Winter assist with this.

"Dearly Beloved, we are assembled here in the presence of Gods and the Force to join this man and this woman in holy marriage. Marriage is one of the oldest and most sacred institutions of the heavens. It was established in the garden of Endor, graced by the personal presence of all that is good at the Sea of Whispers, likened by the Apostle Arca Jeth of Arkania to the mystical union which exists between the Force and the Heavens, and is declared in Holy Scripture to be honorable before all men. "Who giveth this woman in marriage?"

Anakin recalls these very words from his wedding. He recalls how tough it was for Isabel's father to utter the following response:

"Her mother… and… I do."

He says it with conviction. He sighs. Isabel is so proud of him right now. Anakin steps back then makes his way to the family pew. He takes his seat beside his wife. It is only after Anakin leaves his daughter's side, a single tear runs down her cheek beneath her veil. Leia regroups. She remains stoic as she takes the last step up at the altar with Han.

The guests sit down. As the Jedi Priest speaks, Isabel reaches over and squeezes her husband's hand. Anakin relaxes and watches his daughter getting married. As he listens to the priest go over the wedding drill about the institute of marriage and why it is such a serious undertaking…blah…blah, blah, he is distracted by something. He leans over towards his wife to whisper.

"Who's that standing at the altar with Han?"

Isabel squints then whispers back to him. Anakin's jaw drops.

The priest asks, "If anyone can show just cause why these two should not be married, let him speak now or forever hold his peace." After a few moments of silence, he continues. As the ceremony takes place, there is activity going on in the balcony where the choir sits. Someone is hiding behind a pillar in a dark corner of the balcony. A sniper is peering through a telescopic lens in an attempt to hone in on his target. Professor Solo sings a hymnal along with the congregation. He casually strokes his white beard. The mystery assassin carefully releases the clip on his blaster. His target has moved. He will have to try again later.

Nakai prepares to sit as the last line of the hymnal is sung. He turns to see who is breathing over his shoulder. It is Palpatine. The old man has been gradually trying to get a better glimpse of the bride and groom. He looks at Nakai and smiles.

"I dropped my program."

Nakai is annoyed. He whacks Palpatine on the hand with his own program.

Luke and Pooja step up to the lectern to read passages from the Jedi archives. Leia and Han sit at the altar and listen.

"A reading from the book of Kaja Sinis to his Padawans: The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us.  
It binds the galaxy together. This is what will bind your love for one another."

There is a brief prayer. Pooja reads next.

"Love and Trust : King Narmele to the people of Naboo 2000 BBY

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Gods who watch over us. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Above all, have faith in the other. Do not look back to see if the other follows. If your trust is strong, there is no need to turn."

The priest reads a gospel from the Jedi Archives. Han and Leia recite their wedding wows. Alex and Li-An present the rings.

"I, Han, take you Leia Amidala, for my lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

"I, Leia Amidala, take you Johan James , for my lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

Han makes a face. He was not counting on her saying his full given name. Leia smiles. Han gives her a look as if she stole his Millennium Falcon from under him. Didn't her cousin just read something about trust and honor? What a deceitful thing to do in a house of worship no less! So this is how it's going to be from now on, eh? He's going to have to lay down some ground rules. He cannot think too much about it now because the priest is blessing the rings but mark his words as a former intergalactic smuggler…he will have his day. But then, it could be worse...it could have been 'Hansi.'

There is a brief musical interlude as the couple lights the unity candle.

The priest says a blessing. Li-An and the other boys in the wedding party start to zone out as they sit at the bottom of the altar. Li-An flicks at one of the looped ponytails on Ana-Lena's head. She nudges him then pouts. Young Cort Needa sees little Ana-Lena and feels empathy for her.

The priest continues to speak.

"Holy Jedi Father, you created mankind in your own image  
and made man and woman to be joined as husband and wife in union of body and heart by way of the Force and so fulfill their mission in this world.  
Father, to reveal the plan of your love, you made the union of husband and wife an image of the covenant  
between you and your people. In the fulfillment of this sacrament, the marriage of this man and woman  
is a sign of the marriage between Kaja Sinis and the Jedi Order.  
Father, stretch out your hand, and bless _Leia Amidala, _and _Johan James.  
_Lord, grant that as they begin to live this sacrament they may share with each other the gifts of your love and become one in heart and mind as witnesses to your presence in their marriage. Help them to create a home together.  
Give your blessing to _Leia Amidala, _your daughter, so that she may be a good wife and mother, caring for the home, faithful in love for her husband, generous and kind.  
Give your blessing to _Johan James, _your son, so that he may be a faithful husband and a good father.  
Father, grant as they come together to your table on this galaxy, so they may one day have the joy of sharing your feast in heaven. We ask this through Kaja Sinis our originator. Amen."

Alex whispers to his brother. "Amen! Is it over yet? I'm bored."

Li-An laughs when the priest says _'…so that she may be a good wife and mother caring for the home…blah, blah'_

"Caring for the home? She barely picks up her own clothes! I hope she has a lot of maids 'cause her house is going to be a mess!"

Alex rolls his eyes. "I hope this sticks. I don't want to sit through another one of these."

Ryoo's daughter Radka shushes him. Pooja's daughter Dory, and the junior bridesmaid cousins giggle. They think everything Li-An says is cute.

Li-An elbows his sister again and giggles. Alex slides off the first step of the altar. He is sprawled on his back looking up at the domed ceiling. Isabel glares at them as she holds her program. Their mother is not amused. She gestures with her finger for them to sit and be quiet. In the last row of the family pew, Owen and Beru are amazed that little Krizstan behaves so well during the ceremony. Yoda has been Force speaking to him to _'Be Good.'_

The Jedi priest seems clueless as to what is going on with the children. He continues the ceremony as he binds Han and Leia's hands with the ornately embroidered silk cloth.

"Bless O God, this cloth, that he who is wedded in it and she who joins him in wearing today it may ever abide in thy peace, living together in unity, in love, and in happiness, and with good purpose do thy will. Amen.

This sacred cloth is yours to keep. It is a symbol of the unbroken unity of truth now to be symbolized in your married life. I pronounce you to be to each other, husband and wife. Whom therefore Heaven hath joined together, let no man and no dark Force put asunder."

Pooja and the best man witness the signing of the marriage certificate before stepping aside once more. The priest continues.

"You may kiss your bride."

Alex wrinkles his nose.

"Yuck!"

"Aw man!" Li-An goofs off and mimics Han and Leia kissing. "Someone get the hose and spray some water on them."

Ana-Lena is thrilled. She cheers.

"Yea!"

The four Force ghosts stand in their private pew located above the Jedi High Council. Qui-Gon is pleased.

_'That went surprisingly well.'_

Aayla Secure ponders.

_'Ani was pretty good today. Is it that he has no fight left in him?'_

_'No, it's not that. He's okay with it. He knows that she'll be happy.'_

The guests stand as Han and Leia leave the cathedral. Ana-Lena follows but not before turning to smile back at her father.

The bells toll as the newlyweds exit. They are greeted by the elite Jedi Council Guards who raise their lightsabers to honor the couple. Master Mace Windu watches the spectacle.

_'That was it? I expected murder and mayhem.'_

Qui-Gon quips.

_'Well, there's always the reception.'_

Mace nods with approval

_'Now that's what I'm talking about. Let's get this party started!'_


	136. Chapter 136 Reception Perception

_Chapter 136_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Meet and Greet' _

'_Cut the Cake'_

'_Speeches? We don't Need No Stinking Speeches'_

'_The Man in My Little Girl's Life'_

'_Speech Made So Easy Even a Wookie Can Do It'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Roulf is already at the reception site. He gives the serving staff and musicians a last minute briefing.

Hors d'oeuvres and drinks are served as guests start arriving.

Isabel gets a hold of Alex and Li-An before the family photo session. They have a 'discussion' in the corner of the private room.

"Okay you two, I want you on your best behavior for the rest of the night, or you're going to have a miserable day tomorrow. Don't think I didn't see you in the cathedral earlier. There will be no final warning."

Alex looks apologetically as his mother gives them this ultimatum.

"I'm sorry, Mom."

Li-An looks at his mother. He has a prepared defense.

"It wasn't our fault, Mom. That wedding rehearsal yesterday didn't prepare me at all for Leia's wedding. What's the point of a wedding rehearsal if the rules change?" Something causes him to stop talking. Uh-oh."

He sees someone else heading in his direction that looks more intimidating than his mother does.

"Aha! There you are! I want to talk to you little monkey lizards!"

It is their newly married sister Leia. Li-An gulps then prepares for one of her infamous tirades. Alex hides behind his brother. He thought they would be exempt from any retaliation now that she has moved on. Didn't _'wedded bliss'_ mean that she was supposed to be happy and free from all thoughts of anger and violence? Li-An closes eyes to wish her away.

"_Please god, save us and I promise to be good for the rest of the summer."_

Li-An always believed in short-term goals; besides, summer is almost over. Praying is something Li-An is good at. He finds faith in the Jedi gods useful whenever he's in deep trouble.

Leia closes in on the boys. A mother is supposed to stand between her children and any threat to their wellbeing. She's not being a good mother today. How could she stand at the sidelines as they are about to be pummeled by their crazed older sister? Bridezilla approaches them with all of that white fabric trailing behind her. Maybe someone will step on her train to stop her in her tracks. Li-An braces himself for whatever comes.

"I've been trying to hunt you guys down since we got here. Come over here, I won't bite you."

She opens her arms and embraces her little brothers. Alex and Li-An are stunned and gradually relax. 'Psycho-Sis' seems okay after all.

"Thanks so much for doing such a great job at my wedding. I love you so much." Leia plants a big smooth on each child. They are waiting for her to turn into 'Darth Princess Nerfherder' or something more frightening but nothing happens.

Anakin and the families pose for holographs in the garden and in the private room.

Professor Solo walks over to Anakin to exchange a hearty handshake.

"Good evening, in-laws!" He leans over to kiss Isabel. She immediately turns her cheek because he is aiming for her mouth. Anakin smiles faintly as the two men shake hands. Sabrina Solo joins in on the conversation.

"Isn't this absolutely splendid? We're all family now. We must get together and have a big party sometime."

'Deadpan Ani' responds without blinking.

"We're already at a big party."

"Oh, Anakin, darling, you know what I mean. You're so serious in such a droll way…I love it! You remind me of Hansi sometimes…by the way, where did he go? My Hansi looked so debonair in his officer's uniform. I'm so glad to see him out of that ragged hippie vest and that grungy hat he adores so much. Thank you for writing that letter to his superior officer, Anakin."

"It was nothing. I was pleased to do it."

"His father urged him for the past year to get reinstated. James told him to swallow his pride and beg to be reinstated but he was being stubborn and full of foolish pride….Oh there he is! Hansi! Hansi, dearest, over here."

Han sees his mother wave him over to where they are standing. He rolls his eyes and whispers to Leia.

"Oh, well, this is where the fun begins." He meets his mother halfway across the room. "Hello, Mother."

Sabrina Solo greets Han and Leia with a kiss.

"Oh, Hansi, you and Leia make such a lovely couple. Even that dreadful little creature you call your grandfather says so. Leia, you poor dear, however do you put up with that ghastly little man."

"We don't choose our relatives."

"That's for certain. I can't believe he calls himself an actor. James and I went to see his latest play, 'Inherit the Windbag' I call it. Well, enough about that. What were we talking about?'

"Well, mother, you were telling us what a lovely couple we make."

"Oh, yes, of course! I was telling your father on the ride over that we must plan a family trip when the two of you return from your honeymoon."

Han is pulling excuses from thin air.

"Ooh…I don't know, mother….we're going to be so busy the in the next several months with our jobs and stuff…and jobs…Can we get back to you?"

"Of course you may, darling."

Luke gets a chance to chat with his father.

"Hey, Dad. How are you doing?"

"I'm okay."

"I believe congratulations are in order." He extends his hand to his father.

"Oh, yeah." He sighs wistfully. "Nerfie's not such a bad guy."

"Don't worry about Leia, Dad. She can take care of herself. No gambling pirate is going to rule her life."

"You're right. Poor Han. I see a curfew in his future."

"Oh, I believe Roulf wants us downstairs to greet the guests. Dinner will be served soon."

"Oh, I forgot about the hungry subjects. Let's go face them. Don't these people eat before these things?"

"That's why they're here, Dad."

After having some time to refresh and relax, the families arrive in the banquet salon outside the ballroom to greet their guests.

Anakin and the rest of the wedding party leave the room to line up for the reception. The guests file into the main reception room to meet their hosts. An Imperial officer is pacing in the meditation garden muttering to himself.

"Your lordship, I want to thank you for inviting me to the wedding of your daughter Princess Leia Amidaba…Alibaba…Alilama…Princess Lela…Leia Amidala…I hope their first child is a masculine child…."

Obi-Wan is standing near the door and sees the man. He chuckles to himself.

"Oh boy! Ani's going to have his hands full tonight."

The guests filing in to meet the family are a veritable cast of characters. The line seems endless. Anakin takes an extra few minutes to chat with the family court judge who presided over the custody hearings involving the twins. They have become good friends over the years. He hopes she is not there to ask for her gavel back.

Kyle Katarn and Valin Halcyon are among the first in the receiving line. Valin is accompanied by his wife of barely a year, Callista. Kyle works his way to Anakin first.

"Hey, Mr.'S', congrats for marrying off your daughter. The guys had a bet and all I can say is miracles do happen."

"Uhm…thanks Kyle. I'm sure Leia and Han thank you for entering them in your gambling pool."

Valin hears the comment and shoves Kyle. He looks at Anakin.

"Sorry about that, Mr. Skywalker. He missed his etiquette class. Congratulations on the wedding. It was a beautiful service."

Anakin smiles as he greets Valin. He leans over to give Callista a kiss.

"Thank you, Valin. Hello, Callista, you look lovely as always. How's married life?"

"It's wonderful, Mr. Skywalker. My parents are here. They are looking forward to seeing you again."

"My wife and I are looking forward to seeing them as well. Enjoy yourselves tonight."

The next in line to greet Anakin is Vic and Maggie Jade. Maggie Jade is wearing a red sequined gown with a slit up the side. Her big blazing red hair holds Anakin's gaze. She bats her eyelashes as they chat. Anakin thinks she resembles a giant bottle of ketchup.

"Oh, Mr. Skywalker, let me tell you that this is the best wedding I've ever been to. Who is your wedding planner? The decorations are so classy."

Isabel overhears some of the conversation. Anakin feels her laughing to herself. She had just finished greeting the Jades and says something to the effect that _'My husband is excited to chat with you.'_ Anakin will get back at his wife later.

Anakin is so busy looking at Maggie Jade's hair he almost forgets her question.

"Uhm…wedding planet? Oh, you'll have to ask my wife. I can't take credit for all this."

Vic Jade nods and shakes Anakin's hand. Maggie Jade gushes shamelessly as she listens to him speak.

"Hey, how are you, Mr. Skywalker. Nice to be here. It's a great day for a wedding. You sure can pick 'em."

"Yes, we were lucky. Thanks for coming. So where's your daughter?"

"Oh, she's just outside in the cocktail room helping herself to some appetizers. Well, we'll be moving along. I know you have other guests to greet."

"Thank you for coming."

"… Come along, Mag…" He tries to lead his wife by the arm but she resists. She seems to have just remembered something.

"Oh! Can I get a holograph of you?"

Anakin stammers.

"Oh…ahh..well…sure…"

Maggie pulls a camera from her matching sequined purse and yells to her husband. "Vic! Take the camera. I want to get a picture."

"What?"

"Take the picture!"

"Which button do I push?"

"The silver one!"

"Mag, they're all silver."

"The one at the top. Hurry up!"

She poses again beside Anakin. Her big mane of red hair is in his face. He tries to hold in a sneeze from the can of hairspray she used. He can barely breathe. Maggie blocks out Isabel and anyone else standing in the way of a shot with the father of the bride. Vic presses the shutter button. Anakin sees stars as the flash goes off. He blinks.

Roulf, in the meantime checks on the progress of receiving line. He discreetly asks the Jades to move along. Anakin is rubbing his eyes. Down the line are the Naberries and then Palpatine. Palpatine is handing out something to the guests. Admiral Motti and his wife are among the first unwitting recipients of the 'freebies.'

"What's this?"

"It's a sampler CD of love songs I recorded earlier this year. In addition, you get discount passes to my new stage show _'Inherit the Window'_. The CD is entitled _'Songs in the Key of Sith'._ If you want to get the full CD, it's $17.99, or just go to www. stops talking when he sees Roulf pass by with his arms folded. He has one of his assistants confiscate the merchandise and takes it away in a black shopping bag. The guests are soon seated.

Jonni Faytonni walks up to the platform with the musicians and begins to speak. He announces the wedding party. The bridesmaids and groomsmen, the maid of honor and best man enter the room first followed by Ana-Lena and the other children. The grandparents and parents are announced next. Once everyone takes their places at the table; he announces the bride and groom but not before one of the groomsmen hands him a slip of paper.

"Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to introduce, for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Han Solo! Round of applause everybody!"

_Han's father is not pleased that the announcement is changed. Han and Leia did not want to be introduced by any fancy titles. Anakin claps louder than everyone does. This does not bother him at all._

Han and Leia take their places at the banquet table. The long table is surrounded by a roomful of round tables seating ten people at each. The Jedi priest says a few words before the meal. Dinner goes uneventfully. Soft music plays in the background. A ballet was scheduled by premier dancer Yarna d'al' Gargan entitled 'Dance of the Seven Violet Veils' but was cancelled due to lack of interest and the fear that there would be a lack of appetite upon seeing the corpulent six-breasted dancer perform. The dance was the intended gift from the Huttese government.

Mara waves to Luke from her table. He waves back. As the first course dinner ends, Threepio taps the glass belonging to the best man. The best man looks at the droid and Threepio stops. Everyone's attention turns to the best man who stands. Threepio starts to speak.

"Good Evening friends and family. I, am See-Threepio, human-cyborg relations will be acting as Wookie translator for the best man Chewbacca who…"

He is promptly interrupted.

"Excuse me, Threepio, I got this, okay? I'm not as primitive as you think."

"Oh..ahem…okay….the floor is all yours."

Leia is not as stunned as she was during the ride over when Han explained what had happened to his friend. The Wookie looks nothing like his former self. During the trip to the spa that morning, he had been shaved down and waxed. Once the treatment reveals what lay beneath the fur, and after hacking up a few fur balls, there was a new discovery…. He is an eloquent speaker.

"Ahem! Pardon me…I haven't spoken in awhile. Han has been a dear friend to me for years. I am in his debt for supporting me during this time. I am proud to be here today as he starts his new life with the woman he said he envisioned living with for the rest of his life even when I laughed and told him it was a long shot. Han, not one to back down pursued his future bride. Leia, you have been patient with Han. The reputed intergalactic playboy is ready to settle down. Aside from that, how do I look? Nice threads, hey? I clean up pretty good. Leia, this walking carpet thanks you. Oh, everybody, please give the bridesmaids a hand. They look pretty good today. Let's toast the bride and groom."

The room fills with applause. Rocca leans over and whispers to Kyle.

"He's so articulate and well-spoken. He's kinda cute."

"You need help."

Jonni Faytonni speaks into the mike once again.

"That was special. Give the Wookie a hand. Now, the father of the bride has a few words to say. Brace yourselves folks."

There is a podium and microphone set in the center of the long wedding table. Anakin has been sitting beside Sabrina Solo listening to her chat about nonsense. She opens her compact to check her lipstick. She closes it then turns to her left to Ruwee Naberrie.

"Oh, goodie, I love listening to him speak. He's so seriously committed in whatever he says."

She is staring off dreamily as Anakin speaks.

Anakin did not realize his speech would follow one from a Wookie

"That's a tough act to follow. I never…forget it." He waves his hand dismissively.

Anakin was going to say something but decides against it. He does not wish to start the evening on the wrong foot and he is not going to make any inappropriate albeit funny jokes about any of Han's friends. He'll wait until he has a few drinks in him where no one will hold his actions against him. He starts his speech.

_"Your Royal Highness, Queen Kylantha of Naboo, Excellency Supreme Chancellor Valorum, Ladies and Gentlemen, The relationship between daughter and father is a very special one, so I hope you will indulge me as I sing praises about my dear Leia as she takes this ultimate step into adulthood with her husband."_

_Dearest Leia, _

_By seeing you be married today Leia, shows in many ways the end of one of life's most important phases for Isabel and me. Now you are married and have your own life. You are no longer in the nest.You Leia enter a new phase of life, Han is now your nearest and best friend, and you have both started building your life together._  
_The basis of this companionship will be the love, which you have confirmed for each other today. I am pleased to be able to follow the life, which you both are going to build. I am sure this life will not become a "typical life." You both will search your own way, and this way will surely be exciting, original, and unexpected…especially for me and I usually can predict everything._

_I have never had any specific criteria about the man you will be married to, Leia. Your mom and I always wished that this should be your own choice without our guidance. Besides, she threatened me so I had no choice. However, this does not mean that we have been without interest; we have had many thoughts about who should at the end, fit you. Okay, it was all me again. I am sure you have always been aware of this. There is one specific feature we clearly have seen that one needs to be married with you, and that is an open mind and patience. Therefore is it good to see, if we summarize your character Han, that you are a person with an open mind with a bit of blind swagger. You meet challenge with no expectation that it will bite you in the butt, and hope that you will be lucky enough to get out of the line of fire before it's too late. You love living in the moment. Your attitude to life has given both Isabel and me, a new dimension in our life. We look at your example and do the complete opposite!_

_Now that you have become Leia's closest friend, I also am pleased to know that you are both happy and respect one another. However, most important of all Han, you are the one who got Leia to shine!This we have noticed during the last few months and most of all, we have seen it today!_

_Leia, through all the friction growing up, you have always been a happy girl. Your laughter is always nearby, and when it comes, it is extremely catching.Your cutting sense of humor is the clearest proof of your spirit, but your emotions also appear by way of your temper. I wonder where you get that from, hey? Your laughter surrounds us, but when you are angry or feel unfairness, it is also easy to detect. Predictability is a description that in no way fits you. You are a fair person; this together with your inner strength makes it always very exciting to follow in your steps. _

_Han, somehow Leia always knew she would wind up with you. Han, you don't remember this but we actually met years ago. My Leia was very young at the time…you were much, much older. You walked in front of my speeder. We did not know each other back then but I had a feeling that I would be seeing you again._

_Leia, you have an extraordinary talent to always land on your feet, unless you are spying on me through my office door. You have collected enough practical life experiences, which I am sure you'll take with you further on and will help you in your future challenges._

_Han and Leia, you both enjoy living in the present with no game plan. Even when you bicker, you work well together. This is your trademark to a fantastic life together._

_I will congratulate you with the choice you have confirmed to day, and wish you all success with all your choices ahead."_

Han stands, receives a big hug from Anakin then steps up to the podium. He nervously adjusts the mike. Roulf assists then steps out of view. Han starts out shaky with his speech until he finds his comfort zone.

_"Uh…Your Royal Highness, Queen Kylantha of Naboo, Excellency Supreme Chancellor Valorum, Lord and Lady Skywalker, Master Luke, Ladies and Gentlemen…"_

He pauses for a moment.

_Well, let me start by saying thank-you to those of you who have come all this way. It is much appreciated and beyond my expectations._

_Dearest Leia, _

_I like to believe that we met in our dreams when we were little. Let us continue to meet in our dreams, so the moments we meet, will seem longer. _

_Mr. Skywalker, Thank you Your Lordship. Thanks for those good and warm words that were given to us with such care. Your words will help Leia and me on the walk ahead. __Thank you for being the world's best parents Leia could ever have; I have never met anyone like her before. You set the benchmark by which all married couple should follow. I am thinking of this unique strength of heart and goodness, which you both possess. _

_I thank you for meeting me with trust from the first moment and a kindness, which has touched me deeply. Thanks for taking the time to get to know me after that carbonite experience and the series of Force choking. It has given me the discipline when I needed it mostly and taught me respect. To fall in love with a princess is one thing,but to earn her trust and love is all this swaggering nerfherder could have ever asked for. I felt I was stumbling before I met you, Leia. _

_Mr. Skywalker, __I also know that I have pushed your buttons in the past and tested your patience. Isabel, you rescued me numerous times when I was too cocky for my own good. I have become fond of you both and I am looking forward to spent more time together in the years to come. I also thank you so much for this enormous celebration you have made for us. _

_Dear Luke, _

_You and your sister both shine with knowledge and energy. Thanks for the good advice and friendship you gave me. It became clear that Leia and I wanted to join our lives. Talks with both of you have given me a special experience, and I thank you for sharing with me your insight and gladness. I however have to admit that there was not too much joy from my side when finding the young Master Luke out-skied me completely during a ski trip in the Hoth Mountains. You have humbled me. Being around two Force sensitive siblings taught me respect for hokey religious the unexplained. This untrained brother-in-law learned so much. Thanks for the ski run, kid. It taught me that you are made of the same material as your sister, which gives a guarantee for excitement in the coming holidays. _

_A great hero friend explained to me that marriage is like a Sabacc game; Keep your eyes in the cards. You need concentration in the toughest game, if not you'll be out in the first round and lose more than a rusted out but trusty cargo ship."_

Han glances down the long table at Lando who promptly lifts his champagne glass in honor of his friend.

_Dear Mother and Father ,_

_Thanks for finally taking me seriously. This is the most important gift someone can achieve out of childhood. It is for this reason I stand here today. I am grateful for that. You have challenged me on every difficult journey we took together into the outer rim and wild space expeditions. Without your style of discipline, I may have wound up in reform school or prison. You went one step further…military school. At times, I truly believed I would have been better off in reform school. _

_Mother, thanks for being the open minded and bright person who, with Dad, showed me the most amazing things life has to offer. I am proud of to call you my family. _

_Dear Chewie_

_I thank you for opening your home on Kashyyyk to me. You treated me as part of your family when I was on my own and far from home. All of you have taken part in giving me an education full of cultural and creative values. _

_Dearest Leia, _

_I have never met a person with more strength than you, except for your dad…joking…heh...heh_

_I have never met a person with such a big heart as you,_

_I have never seen a woman with such an inner beauty as you,_

_You radiate an irresistible mix of wisdom and beauty, charm and decisiveness…or, as it is popularly known as being 'bossy.'_

_You are irresistible and powerful, sparkling and playful, and serious all at once. Everyday is an adventure just being with you. I never know what the game plan is until I am in the midst of chaos._

_Yes, you are irresistible when you always let me finish a discussion with the words: Yes, your worship - you are completely right! __On the wings of love, I flew over, because no wall of carbonite can shut out our love. _

_I know about nights when I once believed that wandering aimlessly through the galaxy without a place to call home was freedom, when, in fact, I was a prisoner in a world I made for myself. You helped be break free."_

Professor Solo embraces his son then takes the podium. He takes the last gulp of his third martini before he speaks.

_Junior,_

_You said you wanted to get married. I recall my response, 'Do you really wanna get back at him? Or is it for love? You see what I'm saying is, what are you prepared to do?' If you open the can on these worms, you must be prepared to go all the way, because her father is not going to give up the fight, until one of you is dead. If I fail, 008 replaces me. Who is going to replace you? You wanna know how to get the daughter? If they pull a knife, you pull a gun. … He sends one of yours to the hospital; you send one of his to the morgue. Oh wait…that's not right…" _

He pulls out his glasses and looks at the sheet of paper. He turns it over.

_"Oh…I beg your pardon…That was for another event." _

He reads what is on the reverse side of the paper.

_Junior, _

_I have to tell you something. You always said I was too tough on you; Actually, I was a wonderful father. Did I ever tell you to finish your veggies? Go to bed? Wash your ears? Do your homework? No. I respected your privacy and I taught you self-reliance. You thought I only cared about relics, things that were dead and gone. You said you wanted to be one your own…see the galaxy. You left just when you were becoming interesting. Now you're back on course and you have this lovely young woman as your bride. You have chosen well. What a wonderful day it is that we are all part of one family! Cheers to the bride and groom._

Han's father hugs his son and gives Leia a warm embrace before making his way to his seat. He smiles confident that he has given a speech to be remembered. His wife applauds as she holds her champagne glass high.

"Bravo, dahling! Fantastic speech!"

Master Windu shouts from the back of the room.

_'What the 'eff' was he talking about?'_

_'That Solo household must have been a humdinger. The wacky socialite mother and the dad with the secret identity…Ani is Ward Cleaver compared to him.'_

_'Who the 'eff' is Ward Cleaver?'_

_'Remember that birthday gift Luke got from Mos Espa a few years back? He has a bunch of DVD's from that time capsule. I sat with him and watched five episodes. I never laughed so much in my life.'_

MC Jonni Faytonni stands as the orchestra plays behind him.

"Well…that was special…sure makes me want to run off to another part of the galaxy. Okay…the next speech will be presented to the bride and groom from the bride's grandfather. Let's hear it for Granddad Naberrie folks!"

Ruwee steps up to the mike at the table. Palpatine throws his arms in the air and makes a fuss at the far end of the table.

"How come he gets to give a speech?"

Roulf shushes him. The former emperor sulks as Ruwee begins.

_This is a glorious day. So many speeches I feel guilty standing here. So I'm sorry for adding another speech to the list but, if it's any consolation, I'll try to keep it short. It's only once you get a chance to see your youngest granddaughter married. Her father was gracious enough to include me in the bullpen of speakers this evening._

_Leia, you are a true beauty to behold. While your grandmother and I disagreed with you sometimes in the life choices you made; we thought of your mother. There is so much of her in you it's hard to believe still that she is not here to share this day and you have made us proud everyday. Your father has done a remarkable job raising you and your brother. Isabel, I also want to raise my glass to you. You have been an exceptional parent. You have been wonderful in inviting us to share in the planning of this excellent wedding celebration. Leia, you were ecstatic when you told us of all of the wonderful ideas she and Ouisanne arranged for you. I know how lucky you and Han are to have this wonderful day to start out your new life together. Yourgrandmother and I wish you both all the happiness the years ahead. To the bride and Groom_

After the applause dies down, Jonni Faytonni steps to the end of the orchestra platform. At the same moment, someone at the wedding table steps up to the podium. It is Palpatine. Anakin is furious but ignores the disruption.

_"I have something to say. We stand on the threshold of a new beginning. These two kids are married and I never got to give my speech…"_

Lando whispers to Luke.

"Oh, boy, here we go again."

Luke rubs his temples.

"I'm not going to stop him. I am staying out of this."

Obi-Wan is seated near Ouisanne. He laughs as two security staff start to drag the old sith away from the podium. Palpatine grabs hold of the microphone as he is being hoisted off the floor.

_"I have not yet begun to speak! Get your hands off me, you brutes. Okay…okay…I'll go…but everybody, I'll be in the greeting room selling discount tickets to my new stage performance 'Inherit….oh, and my new CD wedding single is called 'Feelings' for $6.99 on sale at Galactic Music World. Ahhhh! Let me go! Let me go!"_

Palpatine is removed from the room. Anakin discreetly rises from his seat and leaves the room. The security guards hold Palpatine in a corner of the greeting room. He looks like a pathetic child. Anakin points to him.

"Not one word out of you. I have to get back inside but this is your final warning. You act out anymore tonight and we're through. Got that?"

Palpatine recoils as Anakin towers over him.

"Yes, Anakin."

"Get back inside and behave!"

Anakin leaves as abruptly as he enters. He returns to his seat. Jonni listens as Roulf whispers something in his ear and hands the MC a note. He nods in agreement then speaks into his portable microphone.

"Sounds like someone hit the Caamas a little early. Okay, it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you to Mr. and Mrs. Han Solo as they take to the dance floor." He whispers to Roulf. "I believe I could have pulled this off without a cue card, sport."

Han and Leia rise from their chairs and walk onto the ballroom floor. They dance a Naboo waltz. All eyes are on the couple. Roulf summons Anakin, Professor Solo, Ruwee and the other men in the wedding party to step onto the dance floor.

"Sorry about my dad's rambling speech."

"It doesn't matter. We're finally married. Sorry about Palps."

_"_He's a character that one. How's my dancing?"

"You haven't stepped on my toes yet."

"Oh, I believe someone is waiting to dance with you."

Anakin steps onto the dance floor. Roulf hovers to make certain all goes according to plan.

"Excuse me, may I have this dance with my daughter?"

"Yes, sir."

Anakin smiles. Han yields the floor to his new father-in-law. He takes his daughter's hand and whispers in her ear.

"Okay, now is the moment you laugh at me."

"Dad, I would never laugh at you. You're not a bad dancer."

Truth be told, Anakin is a very good dancer. Leia recalls her childhood when she would stand on the tops of his shoes as they glided across the living room floor. It was a time when he just started to regain his self confidence because of his looks. He had to relearn social skills so he could be close to people again. Isabel made him feel this way so he could enjoy his children.

As recently as a few months ago, he and Isabel would rehearse dancing for the wedding. He was a bit rusty from his own wedding day. He wanted his daughter to be proud of him. Anakin enjoyed the secret rehearsal in the master bedroom. He even dared to try some faster rhythmic dances. The first time was horrific. When he saw himself in the bedroom mirror his movements resembled those of an AT-Scout Transport on crack. Isabel was on the floor laughing.

Once he got his appendages coordinated with the music he could rival any young dancer at the old Outlander Club. Isabel said the emphasis is on old since no one was dancing disco anymore. It sure was before her time. This did not stop Anakin. He improvised his dance steps and taunted her with his lewd gyrations groping her with added remarks such as "Come on, sexy time."

Isabel reminds him that he needs to be serious so he can have a special dance with his daughter on the most important day of her life. He listens.

Now, on this special day, he is the proudest father on Coruscant. He floats across the ballroom floor with his daughter who looks every bit of the princess she is. As the music fades and another tune begins, Anakin reluctantly ends his dance with his daughter. He squeezes her tightly than steps away for one more look. She is happy.

"I love you, Daddy."

"I love you too, Princess. I've got to hand you off to your next dancing partner."

A few minutes later Palpatine is escorted back to his seat.

Professor Solo stands close by with his hands laced behind him. He bows as Leia acknowledges him. She curtsies. Anakin dances with Sabrina Solo. The woman is lovely but chatters so much he is relieved to find that his next dance is with his wife.

"Fancy meeting you here. Looking for a handsome man to dance with you?"

"Oh, god, I missed you. Stay with me for a few minutes."

"Did our new in-law feel you up again?"

"I can't wait till our vacation. Just the two of us alone on a beach. Where are we going anyway?"

"Bel, it's a surprise."

Luke meanwhile gets to dance with his sister.

"Sooo…how's it feel?"

"Oh, I don't know…I'll tell you later. But I do like the idea that this day is all about me. You should try it." She looks across the dance floor. Luke follows her eyes. Mara has been dancing with Obi-Wan.

"So, Miss Jade, what's on your mind, child? You seem to be a mile away."

"Did you see that waiter with the tray of food? I think he's trying to avoid me."

"You're a charming young lady, what proper gentleman would dare ignore you?"

"You're right, Master Kenobi; I won't be ignored."

Mara stops dancing with Obi-Wan and pursues the waiter. A different waiter walks in the opposite direction carrying a tray of cocktails. Obi-Wan is in hot pursuit.

Leia and Luke watch this then smile at one another. She nudges her brother.

"Poor guy."

"You know what, sis? I think I'll rescue that poor guy serving the hors d'œuvres."

Mara catches up with the waiter and taps him on the shoulder.

"Hey stretch, what are those?" She points at the neatly arranged delicacies on the platinum tray.

He looks at her in a haughty way, his long neck rises, and his nose so high in the air that she could see up his nostrils.

"Madame, these are Vagnerian canapés and smoked shaak on Tatooine flat bread crisps topped with crème fraîche and Naboo caviar."

She wrinkles her nose in disgust.

"Where are the spinach puffs?"

"I believe, Madame they are at the bar. Is there anything else?"

"No."

"Then I shall be on my way." His accent is even haughty. He sounds as if he is suffering from a severe nasal congestion. Mara mocks him.

"Then I shall be on my way too." She speaks in her normal voice. "You know, there's some over-the-counter meds for that condition you have."

She makes her way across the room. As she gets closer to the bar, as swarm of guests converge in the area leaving the tray holding the spinach puffs bare.

"Man!" She senses someone behind her.

"Can I help you, miss?"

She turns ready to belt whoever is behind her. She unclenches her fist.

"Oh, Hi, Luke. Nice party."

"Yeah. It's great that Jonni's here. He's getting a lot of gigs since Kashyyyk."

"He's a popular guy. I seem to be giving him a lot of free material. Can I get royalties for being his muse?"

"I don't think so."

"I amuse him and he keeps his fans amused. Why can't I be a paid muse?"

"Uhm…they're two different things, Mara." Luke is amused by her remarks but she is not laughing.

"Are you laughing at me, Lu-Lu?"

"No…no…"

"You know, this is the first time you've spoken to me all day."

"Well, there was a wedding…I don't think I've spoken to most of the guests here yet."

"It's been weeks since you last spoke to me."

"Now, Mara, that's not true…but I have been busy…listen, can we discuss this later? I have to mingle with the guests."

"Fine…go!" She shoos him away then tracks down some poor unwitting waiter and demands he track down some spinach puffs.

The dancing continues. Ana-Lena gets to dance with all the men in the wedding party. Han lifts her in his arms and dances with her. She wanders the floor and finds her next dance partner.

"Hi, Grampaps."

Palpatine's eyes light up.

"Hello, Angel."

"Will you dance with me?"

"I would be honored to do so."

He leaves his chair and twirls Ana-Lena around on the dance floor. The guards keep an eye on him. He looks up to see someone standing in front of him. It is Leia.

"Ana-Le, Uncle Ben wants to dance with you over there."

"Okay. Bye, Grampaps."

"Bye-bye, gum drop." He looks at Leia. "Are you here to scold me?"

"No. It's a waste of my time. So, let's get this over with. I don't want you moping all night because we didn't get to dance."

"Sorry about the outburst earlier. I just wanted to give a speech."

"I was getting tired of those speeches. It's more talking than anyone needs to do. It was sort of refreshing that you would use my wedding to hustle your CDs. You've got guts, old man."

"Thanks, Leia."

"Just watch the dress."

Anakin cuts in on Uli and Gladys Jensen.

"Excuse me you young folks. Uli, do you mind if I dance with your date?"

Uli and Gladys laugh. Gladys is happy to see Anakin smiling so much.

"Thank you for the beautiful corsage. How did you know I would be wearing a pink gown?"

"It was a guess."

"Anakin, have I told you how proud I am of you today?"

"It's still early; don't post your vote just yet."

"You couldn't do anything to disappoint me today."

Anakin takes Gladys in his arms and dances as the orchestra plays 'Dune River'. This is one of Sabrina Solo's favorite tunes. She dances with he son. Han blows the plumes from her headpiece away from his mouth. The crooner and his backup singers perform as stars light up the atrium of the room.

**_Dune River, wider than a mile,_**

**_I'm in Mos Eisley docking bay._**

**_Oh, spice hauler, and sand crawler,_**

**_Wherever they're going I'm going your way._**

**_Two drifters off to see core worlds._**

**_There's such a lot of space to see._**

**_We're after the same duel sun end--_**

**_waiting 'round for Ben,_**

**_my furry Wookie friend,_**

**_Dune River and me._**

Sabrina lifts her head from her son's shoulder.

"Oh, Hansi. That song always makes me cry." She looks in his eyes. "Oh, Hansi,dear, you're crying too." She touches his face.

"No…I think one of your plums hit me in the eye, mom." He blinks a few times.

Aunt bunny dances with Palpatine. He is feeling better now. He has not been scolded since the speech attempt.

"You see to be attracted to handsome older men, Miss Bunny. Ever consider going on a date with me?"

"Oh, aren't you a funny one." She pinches his pasty wrinkled cheek.

After another song, Jonni grabs his microphone and announces that it is time for the bride and groom to cut the cake.

Two men in while chefs jackets wheel in the seven-tiered masterpiece. The top tier is a sugar sculpture of the Jedi Temple with a hologram of the courtyard and fountain. A spray of Felucia snapdragons and Naboo lilies travel down the sides. A center tier is a sugar replica of Theed palace.

Jonni is given another 3x 5 card to read. Roulf shoves it in his hand.

"What's this?" Reluctantly, Jonni reads from the card. "The traditional Jedi wedding cake is a symbol of a couple's undying love and unwavering devotion, cosmic alignment of the stars and fertility….." He mutters to himself. _"Too much information."_ He stops reading from the card much to the horror of Roulf who is a 'by the book' wedding specialist. Roulf bits his knuckle as the maverick MC and comedian lends his own spin to the event. Jonni ignores Roulf's fidgeting and his nervously tapping foot. He looks out onto the roomful of tables and speaks.

"Listen, folks; let's keep it real. Basically, it ain't a wedding without a fancy sugary confection to compliment the bride's expensive wedding dress. Han and Leia, dig in!"

Roulf starts a fuss with Jonni off –mike about reading from the script he is given. Jonni holds up his mike again to speak to the guests.

"Okay…as a fervent plea from our illustrious wedding director, I have been urged to read the following…so don't shoot the messenger, ok? So, here it goes…The cake is the symbol of the fruit of life of which the bride and groom will save the top tier in the freezer for their one year their anniversary; at which time they will eat it …are you joking? You're _'sithing'_ me, right? How good can it taste after being in complete cryo-hibernation all that time? Buy some groceries…make a sandwich…eat a donut if you want cake a year from now. You two kids fell for this? If that's proof of your love for one another then you're in big trouble."

Roulf is fuming as Jonni continues his rant. He tosses the card over his shoulder towards the orchestra and steps down from the orchestra platform.

Luckily the guests are laughing. Apparently, they all the married couples agree that they have a shared experience with their wedding cakes. Han and Leia are evenlaughing as they feed each other some cake. Han will enjoy a big slice of cake later that evening. The servers return the cake to the kitchen to cut it and serve it to the guests.

After the guests enjoy their cake, Jonni steps up to the platform again. Roulf is standing in the doorway grabbing a glass of aquiline water with two antacids fromThéo. He gulps it down. A few new musicians step up onto the platform and warm up. Jonni speaks to the crowd.

"How are you wild and crazy folks tonight? Ok? Or as Roulf, the wedding coordinator says…'Achkay!' Alright, our next guest performer hails all the way from downtown Coco Town, home turf of the infamous 'Fat Bantha'. He has just completed a week-long engagement at Mos Eisley Hotel and Casino; I give you, Aldo Can'Apizi!"

There is a scream from the audience. It is Ana-Lena. At first, her father thinks something is wrong but then he hears her cheering and applauding. He shakes his head with amazement as he watches her jump for joy.

"Yea! He is here, He is here!"

Aldo_ 'Big Sarlacc'_ Can'Apizi runs onto the stage. He looks dapper in his dark mob-style tuxedo.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, Congratulations to dah bride and dah groom. Is everybody having a good time tonight?"

The crowd applauds but it is not a thunderous applause. Aldo tries to get the crowd going.

"Folks, I could barely hear youze. Youze sound like timid little scurriers. Now lets try dis again cuz we wanna raise the ruuf offa dis place here. Come on… Are house havin'a good time tonight?"

"Yaaaaahh!"

"Now dats betta. Imma gonna open wit a little song for my favorite little flower girl. Where Youze at, honey?"

"I'm over here, Aldo."

"I hear Youze but I can't see Youze, where's my little princess?"

Ana-Lena makes her way through the taller people around her. Kyp and Kyle lift her and carry her through the crowd.

"Here I am. Aldo."

"There's my little Ana-Lena, sweet as can be. Look at that bootiful dress. It's gorgeous."

"Thank you. It was custom made for me."

"Well ain't that special! I almost thought you were the bride."

Ana-Lena giggles.

"I'm not. She is." Ana-Lena points to her sister Leia standing with Han.

"Youze boff look bootiful! You know what Imma gonna do? Since youze have to go to bed early, Imma gonna sing your song first. How's dat? Who are deese guys wit you?"

"They're friend of my brother Luke."

"They ain't your boyfriends."

"Oh no…my daddy says it will be a hot day on Hoth before they get married."

"They's a coupola wise guys, eh?"

"Yes. They're nice but they say silly things." She giggles. "But I can stay up late. I can listen to all the songs."

"Well, I think it's betta dat I sing your song first. Don't want your daddy upset wit Aldo 'cause his little baby girl stayed up too late. Okay. Honey, youze stay right up front here and Imma gonna sing da _'Zooma, Zooma'_ song. Ok…here we go. Everybody issa gonna join in. It's a sing-a-long."

Ana-Lena cheers.

"Yeaaa!"

Jar-Jar turns to Kyle.

"Heesa speak berry good. Meesa gonna like singing dissa song!"

The music starts. Aldo begins to sing.

"Okay…when I giva youze the signal, I wanna youze to say_ 'Zooma, zooma.'_ Everybody ready?"

Jonni works his way around the room with his portable mike. Roulf stands near the door with Théo as Aldo is warming up the crowd for the sing-along. He stops Jonni, who passes by and whispers to him.

"Ah cahnt belief zay wanted zis guy to ahntertain der kraut…he cahn bahrly sprach der language. Is zis funny to you?"

Jonni looks at the man.

"You're kidding me, right?"

"Zhay passed up der danzing lady wis das extra mammaries…Achkay, I guess I am oldt fashioned. I don't geht it. Do you get it, Théo?"

"I think he is good with the kiddies, ja? I think so."

Jonni shakes his head and continues on his way through the crowd. Aldo is still singing.

_**'I eat antipasti twice**_

_**just because she is so nice**_

_**Ana-Lena**_

Jonni points the mike to Han. Han rolls his eyes and smiles

_"Zooma, zooma."_

Ana-Lena calls out. "It's for emfaces!"

Li-An laughs at her. "That's _'emphasis' _not _'emfaces."_

Aldo looks at Li-An.

"Who's dis little wiseguy?"

"He's my brother."

_"_Youze makin' fun of your sista? What she ever do da youze?"

"Nothing I can put my finger on right now…"

"Youze her older brudda, youze suposa be an example. Make her feel good about herself. I'm tellin' youze folks…the yutes of today…it makes you wanna cry and then sumthin' bootiful comes along like dis little angel here." He winks over at Ana-Lena. She smiles.

"I feel good about myself. My teacher Yoda says I have spirit like my big sister. He says we have nothing to worry about."

"Good for youze. You kinda remind me of anudda little girl. Her name was Polly. She was always thinkin' positive thoughts jus like you. Whoose deese udda kids wit you?" Aldo gets the names of the other children. He focuses on one in particular. "Whoose dis little guy ova here? Youze kinda quiet, What's your name, blondie?"

"Cort Needa, sir."

"Ohhh, aren't you polite. You sound like a military kid."

"I am, sir."

"Youze can relax kid, youze ain't in da army now. Youze friends wit my Ana-Lena?"

"She's the daughter of my dad's boss."

"Dat's ok. Youze can still like her. She's a nice little girl. She's pretty too!" Aldo laughs that he has made Cort blush. "I'm sorry I embarrassed youze, kiddo. You seem like an ok kid ta me. Enjoy being a kid cuz duh military can take away your humanatee if you let it. Turn youze to da dark side. Okay, enuffa dis. We're havin' a party here. Let's get back to the song."

**_Ana-Lena_**

**_the waitress at the pizzeria'_**

**_I eat tattoo-ine minestrone_**

**_just to be with her alone_**

**_Ana-Lena (crowd responds: Zooma, Zooma_**

By the time Aldo gets to the next verse, Jonni dares to do something no one in the crowd could have expected. He approaches the Dark Lord. The room falls silent. Leia stands behind her new husband who is sitting in a chair. Her arms are draped lovingly over his shoulders. Isabel sits beside her own stunned husband.

Jonni urges him on.

"Come on, Mr. Skywalker, you know you want to…come on…say it!"

Li-An, who has been checking out the older girls in the bridal party is even distracted and turns to watch his father.

Anakin sits staring at Jonni. The mike is close enough that you can hear Anakin's breath. Suddenly he speaks.

_"**Zoom, zooma."**_

Jonni shrugs and tips his hand from side to side.

"Could use some more enthusiasm…but not bad for a first timer. Let's give him a hand."

The tension in the room subsides. Cheers fill the room. Isabel plants a big kiss on her husband. The singing in the room gets louder as the guests get into the partying mode. Anakin participates again after first grabbing a drink from a waiter passing through with a tray. He sings along with the crowd.

**_Ana-Lena (crowd responds: Zooma, Zooma_**

**_the waitress at the pizzeria_**

**_Ti vol-glio be-ne_**

**_Ana-Lena I adore you_**

**_E vol-glio be-ne_**

**_Ana-Lena I live for you_**

_"Zooma, zooma!_ Oooh…this is kind of fun. Put one right here, babe." He kisses his wife then joins the crowd as they belt out the last verse of the song.

**_If she'll be a my My Car-ra mi-a_**

**_then I'll join in matrimony_**

**_with a girl who serves spumoni_**

**_and Ana-Lena will be mine!_**

Aldo switches to a slower romantic tune in honor of Han and Leia _'Fly Me to Endor Moon.'_

Obi-Wan and Professor Solo are chatting over drinks at the bar. Luke and Kyle imitate the inebriated men. Palpatine joins them and complains that he should have been asked to sing. Obi-Wan look over at the old man then rolls his eyes.

"Oh, here we go again."

"Fair's fair."

Obi-Wan and Professor Solo start to sing making light of Palpatine's complaint.

"Zooma zooma zoom…zoom zoom-a zoomi…please let me sing…_La-la-lala-la…Bah-hah-hah-hah!"_

"Go ahead and laugh, you drunkards!"

Obi-Wan leaves the old man alone to rant with Professor Solo.

"Palps, have a sense of humor. I'll be back. I'm going to see a man with a fast ship."

Obi-Wan heads for the men's room. James Solo sets down his glass, stands in front of the Palpatine and folds his arms across his chest. Two men with dark suits join him.

"Old man, we have some unfinished business to tend to."

By the time Obi-Wan returns, Solo Sr. and old Palps are gone.

Meanwhile, Han is preparing for the garter toss. Anakin does not want to witness Leia's nerfherder husband sliding his hand up her wedding dress. He leaves the room before his eyes start to burn.

The groomsmen gather. Luke opts out of this portion of the party. He tells Han it is a little creepy catching his sister's garter. Han laughs and says he understands perfectly. Han tosses the garter over his shoulder. Kyp catches it.

Leia gives Kyp a warning before the bouquet toss.

"Kyp, if you feel up my cousin or any of my friends with this garter game, you're a dead man."

"Chill out, Leia…I'm a Jedi and a gentleman." He looks at the group of women participating in the bouquet toss. "Ladies, prepared to be swept off your feet."

Leia has a special tossing bouquet for this. She has plans for her bigger bridal bouquet. The single women form a circle facing outward. Leia wears a silk blindfold and turns slowly in one direction as the women, holding hands, turn in a circle in the opposite direction. The single women's circle stops and Leia reaches out and hands her bouquet to the woman facing her.

There are surprised squeals of laughter when everyone sees who gets the bouquet. Leia pulls off her blindfold and smiles. The men chuckle. Jonni Faytonni makes a remark.

"Kypster, you have your work cut out for you. She's a tall drink of water. Can you handle her?"

Han nudges Kyp.

"Go on, hot shot. Work your magic. But I guarantee you she knows her way around a garter. What are you prepared to do?"

Kyp clears his throat then holds up his hand. He applies the garter to his hand as if it were a surgeon's glove. Anakin returns to witness this. He knows of an interested party who is in for a surprise with these shenanigans. He laughs. Qui-Gon and Mace appear as Anakin stands alone in the doorway.

_'Anakin, how could you laugh at someone else's expense?'_

_"_It's what I do best. He's going to faint when he finds out."

Mace agrees.

_'He sure is, but he had to see this coming galaxies away. He was getting a bit too comfortable.'_

"Oh well…those is the breaks! Heehee!"

_'You're cold, Anakin.'_

"Hey, it's not my fault."

Anakin walks in the greeting salon where most of the Imperial officers have gathered. They stop talking when they see Anakin.

"At ease, men. You're not at headquarters. This is a party you should be in the ballroom having a good time."

"Yes your Lordship."

"You are having a good time, aren't you? Admiral Motti…good to see you"

"Uh…thank you…congratulations on your daughter's marriage."

Anakin looks pass the officer to find who he is looking for.

"Thank you, Admiral. Please, as you were….Oh…Captain Needa, I almost didn't see you hiding in the corner over there."

"I was going to stop by to see you myself to extend my congratulations for this joyous occasion of your daughter's marriage."

"Woulda, coulda, shoulda…can I have a moment with you?" He throws an arm around the captain's shoulder and leads him away. Needa stammers as he is lead away.

"Ye…yes, of course, my Lord."

As the two men head for a quiet place to sit, Needa's wife sees them. She gathers her son and hurries to catch up with them. Connie Needa could not imagine this to be a good sign especially with his past history with his boss. She thought this would be a good time to rescue her husband. Young Cort is not ready to leave the party. He was making friends and having a good time. All he did in his free time was attend military events and talk about his future at the academy with other young cadets. He enjoyed listening to Aldo speak of enjoying life It gave him hope for a less regimented life.

Connie Needa meets the men head on.

"Good evening, your Lordship…I was just coming to gather my family…"

"Mrs. Needa, I hope you're not leaving; the night is still young. I take this to be one of our young cadets."

"Yes… This is Cort. Cort, say hello to his Lordship."

"Hello, sir. Thank you for inviting us to the wedding."

You're quite welcome. Captain, why did you bring him here?"

"Well, I thought…the invite…"

"This isn't a military affair. He can work on becoming an officer later. This is a party. Cort, would you like to go back inside and play with the other children?"

"Yes, sir. I would."

"Go. Have fun."

Cort looks at his father. Lorth Needa nods 'yes'. Cort hurries back inside to be with the Naberrie, Nor, and Skywalker children. Connie nervously

"Well, we didn't want to outstay our welcome…"

"Nonsense. Please, go back to the party."

She turns and rejoins the festivities. Anakin and Needa chat as they stroll through the topiary garden. The bushes and hedges are sprinkled with twinkling lights.

"So…How are you doing, Captain?"

"Well, sir, the troops under my command have been doing their best to get the tracking beam up to code…I can't stress enough that they must strive for excellence…"

"Needa, no shop talk, Okay? How are 'You'?"

"I'm quite well sir."

"Have you taken a holiday yet?"

"Well…there's much work to be done…"

"You keep working the way you do; you'll end up digging yourself an early grave. Get out and enjoy life. Take the family on holiday. You have the vacation time. There's nothing much happening in the next two months. There is such a thing as delegating your work. I'm sure someone competent enough can perform your duties in your absence. When you return to headquarters, we'll have a talk about your future."

"Oh, sir?"

"Yes, I've been meaning to meet with you for some time…oh, Needa?"

"Yes, my Lord?"

"Do you by chance play Sabacc?"

"Ohh, no, sir…that's a gambler's game…" He recalls hearing rumors of the poor pit officers then rephrases his answer. "…but I hear there are some fine gentleman parlors here on Coruscant and also on Bespin."

"Anyone who takes your money, Needa, is no gentleman…trust me." Anakin turns he head toward the crystal doors. "Sounds like I am being summoned. Get the officers into the ballroom. They need to see what it's like to have fun."

"Yes, sir. Thank you sir."

Anakin returns inside. Captain Needa walks back to the greeting salon. The other officers are surprised to see him back. He is even smiling. They were arguing whether he met his demise after being away for so long. The realize if the Dark Lord had plans of doing away with the officer, he would have done it already. Motti was telling Piett to start looking for a replacement in the ranks. The officers file into the ballroom.

Anakin walks across the dance floor. He sees someone with whom he wanted to speak to all evening. Leia also sees someone but there are so many people to talk to and to thank, it is difficult to do this. Anakin walks up to one of the people he needs to see.

"Professor Higgins, I presume."

"Lord Anakin, congratulations! Jolly good show my man. You must feel splendid, you sure look the part."

"I do indeed."

"I thought I saw my muse Miss Jade around. For some reason I swear she's avoiding me."

I believe she's talking to my wife."

"Ah…I believe I shall have a chat with the irrepressible young redhead."

While Higgins's goes in pursuit of his 'fiery' muse, Anakin is left alone with his nemesis. They exchange steely-eye stares before speaking.

"Good Evening, Ratched"

"Skywalker."

"You want to dance, you hellcat?"

"I would love to."

Anakin bows. Mrs. Florence Mildred Ratched-Higgins curtsies. The dance to a slow romantic ballad. Mildred looks glamorous in her emerald green gown. He auburn hair is not pinned back in her traditional matronly chignon. She is wearing pendant earrings and not the old lady button Naboo pearls.

"Nice do."

"You clean up pretty good yourself, handsome. Miss you at the hospital. What's going on; you and 'the boys' finally got locked up? "

"You don't have to get personal… if you must know; my wife decided our family is big enough. Her doctor gave her something that locks her down tighter than a Geonosian gold mine."

"How romantic."

"It's not right."

"You're so funny. The excitement at the nurse's station is all gone since you two left."

"Maybe I'll stop by for a visit…rile up the nurses…being that I'm so handsome and charming."

"Sounds like a plan."

Lorian Nod, Palpatine's buddy from the retirement home wanders around carrying a bagful of food. The kitchen staff thought he was a beggar walking in from the street. He sees Luke.

"Excuse me, young Luke…I'm looking for your grandfather."

"Oh…Palps….no…can't say I've seen him in the past hour. Sorry."

"I'll look outside. Thanks…you're a good boy." He pinches Luke's cheek.

Yoda walks over to play with the baby. Beru has the child on her lap. Owen is sitting across the table having some cake.

"Hello farmers. Hello, Skywalker child.

Beru smiles.

"Hello Mr. Yoda."

"Hello, Ma Lars. So, Owen, the harvest what's going with it?"

"Nothing yet."

"Nothing? Hmmm Never the Farmers' Almanac you read hmmm?"

_"_No need to. Got all I need to know about farming right up here." He points at his temple. Yoda and the baby look at one another and laugh.

Ana-Lena walks over. All the boys are talking about Game pods and junior speeder scooters. The older girls are in another group talking about bikinis and boys. She hugs her baby brother then jumps up and down.

"Yoda, come dance with me."

"What? Dance I do not."

"Why not?"

"No! You wild children with your achy-breaky dances and dirty grimy dancing. Terrible …terrible. A Jedi knows none of these things."

"Please? I don't know those dances. Daddy says those are dangerous dances and they can get you in a lot of trouble."

"He should know. No dancing you'll see here. Dance I will not." He pounds his gimer stick against the floor.

"Come one, Yoda…" She grabs his hands and swings his arms from right to left. Yoda hums to the music."

"Okay, girlie…enough…play with other children you go. Past bedtime is it not?"

"No. Daddy says we can stay up all night because we'll be too exhausted to make trouble tomorrow."

"Good for him."

Leia is about to go to the suite upstairs to change. She stops to speak to someone first.

"Hello, nemesis."

"Hello, arch nemesis. You look beautiful…wow."

"Thanks. It's so good to see you, Nelson…nice uniform."

"I'm heading off on a shuttle to Kamino. We have a satellite posted there. We're checking some atmospheric changes in wild space."

"Sounds like important work."

"It is….It's all top secret stuff too."

"I didn't hear a thing." She winks.

"You going off on your honeymoon?"

"Yes. It's a surprise."

"You look real swell, Leia. I'm glad we kept in touch."

"So am I."

"Han is some lucky guy."

"He is."

"If I had the nerve, I would have asked you out."

"Oh, Neslon…"

"I'm sorry. That was out of line."

Leia takes his hands in hers.

"Nelson, you're really a nice guy. If things were different…who knows? But you need to speak up, Nelson. This may sound lame but there is someone out there for you. I truly believe that. Have a safe mission."

"Have a fun honeymoon."

Leia shakes his hand. And gives him a friendly hug.

"For luck."

Nelson bows reverently.

"Goodbye, your Highness."

Nelson departs. Leia turns to go upstairs. Han is standing at the top of the stairs. He smiles then grabs hold of her gown and hurries up the steps.

"Let's go, your worship."

"I hope you don't mind me talking to…"

Han interrupts.

"That was a really nice thing you did. You make me so proud. I'm glad I married you. You're really smart."

"I know."

They kiss at the top of the stairs.

There is more dancing going on downstairs in the ballroom. Mara is dancing with Kyp. Aldo is singing with the orchestra.

**_"Come Fly with Me"_**

**_Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly away_**

**_If you can use some exotic booze_**

**_There's a bar in 94 docking bay_**

**_Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly away_**

**_Come fly with me, let's float down to Naboo_**

**_In Gungan land there's a one-man band_**

**_And he'll toot his flute for you_**

**_Come fly with me; let's take off in the blue_**

**_Once I get you up there where the air is rarified_**

**_We'll just glide, starry-eyed_**

**_Once I get you up there I'll be holding you so near_**

**_You may hear angels cheer 'cause we're together_**

**_Weather-wise it's such a lovely day_**

**_You just say the words and we'll beat the birds_**

**_Down to Yavin4 Bay_**

**_It's perfect for a flying honeymoon, they say_**

**_Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly away_**

**_Once I get you up there where the air is rarified_**

**_We'll just glide, starry-eyed_**

**_Once I get you up there I'll be holding you so near_**

**_You may hear angels cheer 'cause we're together_**

**_Weather-wise it's such a lovely day_**

**_You just say the words and we'll beat the birds_**

**_Down to Yavin4 Bay_**

**_It's perfect for a flying honeymoon, they say_**

**_Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly_**

**_Pack up, let's fly away!!_**

"I just don't want to be ignored. I have a lot to offer. I deserve to be heard. Don't you agree?"

'What? Oh…sure…sure, Mara." He looks over her shoulder and gestures for Kyle or Bo'shek to take over. The groomsmen just lean again the pillar with their arms folded grinning. Kyp gives them the finger. Finally there is relief.

"May I cut in?"

"Sure! She's all yours."

Kyp finds Sena Shan and Rocca. He flirts with them and escorts the ladies outside to watch the fireworks display.

Luke takes this opportunity to talk to Mara as they dance.

"So, how are you doing?"

"Okay. They could have put out more spinach puffs."

"Spinach puffs are overrated."

"Luke, have you been avoiding me all night?"

"Listen, Lu-Lu, you've been avoiding me! I've been here."

"I apologize. Did I tell you how nice you look tonight?"

"Oh, this old thing? You really like it?"

"Yeah."

"Your mom picked it out for me. She thought I should look special too."

"You look special…you do."

"I ran into Professor Higgins earlier. He says I need a refresher course. He says I fell off the wagon and he doesn't want his good name going down the tubes."

"What can I say? He's a perfectionist."

"So, you're saying I'm not perfect?"

"Geez, Mara, I don't want you to be perfect. What fun is that? You have your own style of perfection."

"Hmmm…that's a compliment, huh? So, what the 'eff' did you guys do to Chewie? Who would have thunk it?"

"I didn't realize he could actually speak. He had a gnarly hairball stuck around his vocal chords."

"Yuck!"

"I think he kinda likes his new look."

"Yeah, now that every girl wants to bang him."

"His wife won't be too pleased."

"Well, he should send her out for some work too. She'll change her tune. I wonder what she'll look like. She should know that the shag went out of style ages ago."

Luke chuckles.

"So, you're not mad at me anymore?"

"Of course I am. I wore this dress to get your attention and you didn't even notice me all evening. Let's face it, Luke; it's never going to be enough. And my shoes are killing me."

"What do you want from me, Mara? Forget it…don't say anything. Give me your foot."

He kneels and removes her shoes. Her hand is resting on his shoulder. He stuffs her shoes in his jacket pocket.

"Thanks."

"Feel better?"

"Sort of…but now I'm going to trip on my gown."

"Mara, there's no pleasing you. I really was going to talk to you later. I thought we would go to breakfast at Dex's in the morning but you're going to rag on me all evening."

"He slips a ring on her finger. She lets out a blood curdling scream."

"Oh, Luke! It's beautiful! I'm sorry for all the awful names I called you, for all the stuff I did to you and all the things I was planning to do to you…"

"Mara…Mara…Mara?"

She answers as if she is annoyed.

"What?"

"Will you marry me?"

"Oh! Well…duh…fer sure…Ohh…Luki-Lu…you're so cute when I'm brow-beating you."

They embrace. Mara can't wait to show off her ring to Sena, Rocca and the other girls. Luke feels a ton of pressure off his chest. He wanted to wait until after Leia left for her honeymoon but he thought Mara was going to lose her mind. The next wave of screams come from Maggie Jade. She smothers Luke with a bunch of bright red lipstick kisses; you would have though she was getting engaged.

Leia is upstairs changing. Both sets of parents are upstairs saying their goodbyes. Isabel lets Anakin have a few last moments alone with his daughter. Han's parents follow Isabel downstairs to wait for the newlyweds.

"Well, this is it."

"Daddy, You and Mom have been the best. You are the most wonder father in the world. "

"That's the word on the street." They share a laugh.

"Did Mara ruin her own surprise? I hear screams."

"Luke's got his hands full with that one."

"Well, you can breathe easy, Dad. You don't have to do this again for at least 15 years."

"Ana-Lena's going to that convent school."

"Dream on, Dad."

"Okay…soo…off you go…we'll be here till dawn if we don't end this now,"

Anakin holds his daughter in his arms for one last time before she goes away. He catches up with Isabel and the Solos downstairs. Leia and Han get a big send off.

The newlyweds wave farewell to their friends and family. Leia carries her wedding ceremony bouquet. Their first stop is Naboo where Leia will place it in the Royal monument on Padmé's tomb. The duplicate bouquet that was in the cathedral will be moved to the Galactic Senate Building to lay on the crystal case in the main hall.

Alex is taking holographs with the party favor digital wedding cameras. He takes a few images of Kyle and Winter kissing outside near the topiary garden.

Li-An is walking around with Jonni Faytonni's mike doing interviews. Almost all of his interviews are with the ladies. His favorite interview is with Aunt Bunny.

"So, what are your thoughts for today?"

"Well, Shug, this has been the greatest day of my life. I made a few new friends and I caught the bouquet…got the garter…" She pats her knee. Li-An was hoping he would get a peek at it. No such luck.

"Well, you're going to make one super bride, Aunt Bunny."

"Thank you, honey cakes. Can I give you a kiss?"

"Sure!"

She kisses his forehead.

Isabel gathers her children for the ride home. Anakin hands a batch of envelops to the serving staff. One of the kitchen staff screams. The crew runs in to find him staring into the walk-in freezer. An almost frozen Palpatine is lodged between a side of shaak and cases of puff pastry dough. Valin runs in to see what is going on. Anakin, Valin and Bo'Shek remove the old Sith from the freezer. Jonni Faytonni finds a blanket. Anakin hands him a cup of warm tea.

"What are you doing in the freezer?"

"You think I did that on purpose?"

"Well?"

"That Professor is trying to kill me, Anakin."

Anakin almost believes the old man. Almost.

"You must have done something to aggravate him."

"Have you thrown one of your officers in the freezer when they pissed you off?"

"No…of course not. What exactly did you say to him?"

"It was ancient history. It was during the war…it could have been a few years after…I can't recall…They had some mutt dog on their property in Corellia when I sent some storm troopers to search his house…the stupid dog tried to attack one of the guards. They vaporized it. They have been after me for what happened to their flea bitten Toto, Rin Tin Tin, Indiana…or whatever they called that pile of rags."

"This whole mess between you two has been over a dog?"

"I guess."

"Listen, It's late, I'm tired…we'll have to go over this later. There's more to this story than you're telling me."

"Ani, I'm helpless. He's out or blood that man. Who's going to protect me?"

"Nod's waiting for you. Go!"

"Where's Leia? Did I miss her?"

"Yes. Go. I'll deal with you later."

"Bless you my boy."

Palpatine leaves. Obi-Wan is returning to the ballroom. He manages to catch Han and Leia before they leave. Leia is glad have a chat with him before her departure.

As he walks through the door, Aunt Bunny walks up to him.

"Shug, you missed it. I caught the bouquet. I have never caught a bouquet in my life. Isn't this great."

"Why didn't you duck and roll? Good God, woman!"

"Oh…Obi Shug, you're so funny. Let's go home."

"I was not trying to be funny. Marriage is against the Jedi Code. I cannot break a law I have sworn to uphold."

"Now, Obi honey, you know that law was overturned years ago. Besides, I've already asked Isabel to be my maid of honor."

Obi-Wan gives Anakin a dirty look. Anakin turns to Isabel. She shrugs.

"What was I going to say? ' No'?"

"Let's get out of here."

Anakin grabs Alex and hoists him onto his shoulder. He is sleepy. Isabel takes the baby from Beru, Ana-Lena and Li-An are still wide awake. There are a few stragglers dancing on the ballroom floor. Luke and Mara are one of the couples.

Anakin thanks Roulf and Théo.

"Roulf, Theo, thanks for everything. The wedding was perfect. Leia was very happy."

"Mr. Skywalker, I want to tell you sumsing; you are an amazing person. Everybaudy respects you und you are fahbulus, your wife und kinderlings are fahbulus. Zaht wedding singer was not of the norm and Ah couldn't understand a wort he vas saying but everybaudy loved him…It wast quite unusual. What cahn Ah say?"

"Well, you did a wonderful job. Thanks again. Good night."

"Gute nacht.

The droids follow Anakin out the door.

They arrive home. It is quiet. Anakin helps his wife put the children to bed. Ana-Lean wants to wear her bracelet that Leia gave her to bed. Anakin goes downstairs. The droids say goodnight and power down for the evening. He returns upstairs and stops by Leia's room. The suitcases she had left there earlier were picked up by the servants and loaded onto the ship during the wedding ceremony. The room is bare now with the exception of her Naboo doll collection on the shelves. The walk-in closet is empty. He goes downstairs to the garden where she held all of her tea parties when she was a child. He is happy for his daughter but he feels so sad for himself.

Qui-Gon appears.

_'Nice wedding bash. You sent her packing in style.'_

Qui-Gon laughs at his own joke. Anakin gets the humor but he does not feel like laughing right now.

"I know I'm supposed to get used to change but that was my little girl I gave away today."

_'There will always be change, Ani. Rejoice the time you share with loved ones. Don't wallow in sorrow. More good times will come.'_

"Was I truly a good father?"

_'The best, That's why she was able to move on.'_

_"_Of course you're a good father. You're the best. I think so but this is a biased opinion from your wife."

Anakin wipes away his tears then turns. Isabel is standing in the doorway of the garden. She is smiling. The specter of Qui-Gon fades in the night sky. Isabel takes her husband's hand. He speaks trying not to sound choked up.

"Nice night."

"Yes but come inside and talk to me for a change. It's ok to miss her. I have some Bimmisaari tea upstairs."

Anakin smiles.

"Okay, you've sold me."

He follows her inside and slides the glass door closed. They curl up in bed as she consoles him. He drifts off to sleep. It is a peaceful night.

_'**Weather-wise it's such a lovely day**_

**_You just say the words and we'll beat the birds_**

**_Down to Yavin4 Bay_**

**_It's perfect for a flying honeymoon, they say_**

**_Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly_**

**_Pack up, let's fly away!!'_**


	137. Chapter 137 Little Farm Hands

_Chapter 137_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

''_The Best Eats in the Coco Town Streets: Now with No Trans Fats!'_

'_We Don't Take Crap…We Fix It Over And Over Again…'_

'_Ana-Lena of Sunny Lars Farm _

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Anakin grabs a diaper bag and a tote full of toys as he heads downstairs. The timing is perfect. Nakai and Ouisanne arrive. Isabel appears in the living room shortly after carrying the youngest Skywalker in her arms. Nakai smiles when he sees them.

"Ready for the hand-off I see."

"The big question is, are you ready?"

"Your mother and I are ready for any challenge you put before us."

Anakin playfully grabs one of the children's books, 'Kody the Lonely Krayt Dragon', and raises his right hand as he stands in front of his father-in-law.

"Are you ready to take the sacred oath?"

Nakai raises his right hand and plays along. He places his left hand on the book. Both men are grinning.

"I am ready."

"You're the only ones we trust to have him for longer than two days."

"I know."

"Do you accept this mission and vow not to call us no matter what obstacles may lay in your path?"

"I pledge to do so."

"Congratulations, Granddad, He's all yours…every chubby ounce, until we return."

Isabel hands the baby to her mother.

"Mom, I know you and Dad will take care of our precious cargo." She kisses the baby. He goes willingly into his grandmother's arms and drifts off to sleep. Anakin kisses the back of the baby's head.

"Off you go now."

"You two have a wonderful vacation. You deserve it."

"Thanks mom. Thanks, Dad. Bye Kris, sweetie. Mommy loves you."

Anakin hugs her as Nakai and Ouisanne leave with the baby. The rest of the children are just waking after sleeping soundly all night. Anakin agreed that the strategy of keeping them up late, worked. After getting them dressed, Anakin loads them onboard the ship and lets them continue sleeping. Isabel, who rarely sits in the cockpit with her husband, joins him. She is half-asleep in the comfy co-pilots' chair. Anakin would have slept also but he was too wound up after the previous day's festivities. He thought about his oldest daughter and her wedding day. She and Han must be enjoying a day at the beach, strolling along the sand hand in hand; the waves crashing against the rocks; romantic tropical music playing in the background, roaming hands and rushing fingers…ugh!. He opens his eyes and shakes these thoughts out of his head. Yes, she's married. It will take him awhile to process this.

He did not notice that Luke's room was empty too. He never made it home that night. He's probably shacking up already with 'Rhode Island Red'.

Across town near the factory district Dex Jettster rings up an order for jawa juice and a '_McDexter_' breakfast sandwich to go for a customer heading for the early morning shift across the street. There aren't many customers at this hour and the bulk of his wait staff will not punch in for another 30 minutes. The factory workers on the graveyard shift are all heading home. The crowd for the morning shift will be filing in anytime now. One booth in the far corner is occupied. A certain Jedi Knight and his new fiancée hold hands across the table. They are still dressed in their formal attire from the night before.

Dex heard about the big event on the plasma and read the article in the Coruscant Times. He never reads the paper but he sells it at the register. One of the customers left his paper at a table late one morning. Hermione Bagwa and some of the younger waitresses would salvage the dailies left by hurried customers and hang around the wait station reading up on current affairs and entertainment. Their favorite section, however, was the coveted society page. They were eager to find out which celebrity attends what opening or who was getting married.

Dex did not mind the idle gossip. It livened up the place, especially when business was slow. The only reason that he took interest was when he went to grab an order from the pickup station and saw the paper opened to the _'Weddings & Anniversaries'_ page. There is a full-page write up including a special souvenir 6-page blow-in magazine featuring a bio of the bride and groom. All the details include the courtship what the bride wore. The holograph inside the magazine is suitable for framing. There is also a page listing every person of nobility from the Queen of Naboo to the Galactic Senate guests, Jedi hierarchy, and other dignitaries. It is a veritable intergalactic _'who's who'_ list. It was the first time since Anakin's wedding that every copy of the Coruscant Times is sold out at the diner.

Luke and Mara arrive at the diner during the wee hours of the morning. There is not much going on at the reception. All of the guests are gone. The musicians were packing up and canned music was playing over the PA system. They hung around with their friends, Kyle, Sena, Rocca, Kyle, Bo'Shek, and Winter. They are sitting around making fun of the way Winter and Bo'Shek dance. Just when they are enjoying a humorous moment, Master Yoda walks over. The gimer stick makes a clicking sound against the marble and granite floor. This does not bode well for the young adults sitting around to enjoy one another's' company. The aging Jedi master has them cornered. This is a perfect opportunity to lecture 'the future of the galaxy' on commitment and the importance of being a Jedi and honoring the Jedi Code…Blah, blah, blah... This was not the time for a 'Test Your Jedi Loyalty Quiz'. In their opinion, Yoda should have been back at the Jedi Residence House. Doesn't he have a retreat to go to on Sunday? Kyle, Kyp Rocca, and Bo'Shek mock Yoda when he espouses some words of wisdom, 'Not so much fun had I in my days as a young Jedi…hmmm. Serious young Jedi we were…walked in terrible weather to fight the Sith we did. We struggled and suffered so you young ones could grow up with all the conveniences of life…"

As Yoda drones on about the dark times, Kyle grins and holds up his hand.

"Guys…guys….in a second we're going to hear how he walked through swamps to get to his home in that bog."

Rocca mimics the Jedi Master.

"_A Jedi should not want any of these things_…yada…yada…yada."

Yoda does not disappoint.

"In the swamps on Dagobah I walked…stayed until galaxy was safe again."

Luke smiles but tells his friends to stop mocking the Jedi Master.

"Come on you guys…We shouldn't be goofing on Master Yoda. He's a great man. It's disrespectful."

Kyp pretends to ignite his Lightsaber and feigns impaling himself. Winter and Sena cover their mouths as they try not to laugh. The laughing soon subsides when Yoda says something that is sobering and causes much reflection in the Jedi youth to whom he is addressing. He begins to remind them if the dark history almost a quarter of a century earlier.

"Peaceful times gone they were back in the dark times. Born you were when galaxy was saved from the dark forces. Festivities such as this we had not _or_ your elaborate Jedi graduation ceremonies." He looks deliberately at Luke and Kyp when he says this. "No beach holidays to surf the perfect wave, looking for hang tens. Lucky you were. Forget not the struggle of others."

Kyp squints.

"Wave? We haven't gone surfing all summer. We were working, Master Yoda…and hang ten? Who uses that term anymore?"

Luke feels guilty for laughing with his friends and their antics at the old master's expense.

"Okay, guys…"

Kyle rolls his eyes then lets out a bored sigh as Yoda ignores them and keeps talking.

"Remember, a Jedi's strength flows from the Force. However, beware, Anger, fear, aggression. The dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny."

Kyle shrugs.

"Yo…yo…Yoda, my man! We're just sitting around chilling. Take it easy. We've all been on grueling assignments this year. We deserve a little 'R and R'. Don't worry; man, we're not going to drift to the dark side… except maybe the parking bay to our speeders. You think it would kill the management here to install a few floodlights on the other side of the parking bay?"

Luke whispers something to Mara who has been picking at a leftover spinach puff she found on one of the serving trays. She nods in agreement and stands with him. The others watch. Kyp sits up.

"Hey, Skywalker, you're leaving?"

"Yep. Mara and I are heading across town. Anyone need a lift?"

"No, we're good. I'll take the ladies home."

"I'm sure you will. Master Yoda, come on, we'll drop you off at the Jedi residence hall."

"Think Jedi Master too old to walk back to Jedi Temple do you?"

"Yes. Besides, it's late. Come on."

"Okay. Smart Jedi you are. Let's go." He follows Luke but turns to jab Kyle in the leg with his gimer stick. "Good night, losers."

"Hey, come on now…is that the Jedi way? Goodnight, Master Yoda. Be cool, my man."

"Goodnight you reckless party animals."

The girls wave to Luke, Mara, and Yoda.

"Goodnight, Master Yoda. Goodnight Luke, Mara."

Luke waves back.

"It's been a great night. Thanks for coming. See you guys later."

Luke lets Yoda and Mara get into the speeder. He gets into the driver's seat. Yoda checks out the interior. He presses the buttons. He plays with the window. Yoda finds the supple nuna leather seats comfortable enough to sleep on but he is too busy checking out all the other features in the back seat.

"So, nice set of wheels you have young Luke."

"Thanks. Is this your first time in my speeder?"

"Yes. Keep your eyes on the expressway."

"We're going to the diner. Want to join us?"

"Diner? Who's hungry at this hour? Big dinner you just had." He looks at Mara sitting in the front passenger seat. "Oh, should have known. To Jedi Temple you take me."

"As you wish, Master."

Yoda occasionally hangs his head out the window letting the cool night air whip across his face. Luke watches from his rear view mirror. The old Jedi reminds him of Skippy. They soon arrive at the Jedi Temple. The residence hall is quiet as usual at this hour. Mara remains in the speeder with ear buds on listening to music on Luke's stereo system. She waves to the Jedi Master. Luke gets out and walks Yoda to the door. They chat on the way. Yoda gives the Young Jedi some advice on relationships and marriage.

"Going to bed I am…you young kids stay out all night…how does one function on so little sleep?"

"I sleep just fine."

"Hmmm…so, planning to marry the 'Red Cyclone' you are hmmm?"

"Sure…I'm not afraid of marriage."

"You will be…"

"Goodnight, Master Yoda. May the Force be with you."

"May the Force be with you. Thanks for the ride. Hurry you must before 'wild red' orders everything on the menu."

"I'll try." Luke knows the Jedi Master hates it when people say this to him.

Yoda glares back at the young Jedi upon hearing the response. He mutters to himself as he disappears through the doors of the Jedi residence.

"Don't try…d-….never mind. Smartass."

Luke jumps back into his speeder. As he drives off, Mara turns to him.

"You know what I'm in the mood for? Blueberry pancakes. Hurry up."

Dex's Diner is quiet until Luke and Mara arrive. Just before the couple walks through the door, Dex is going through the motions of working the graveyard shift. He can do it in his sleep. The same regulars visit. They never deviate from the menu. His assistant managers do not particularly like working this shift. It is boring. Nothing new ever happens.

Dex does not mind the graveyard shift. He is around most of the time anyway. He likes the shift because he gets the factory regulars, a few freighter pilots and some Jedi. Yes, they all order the typical stuff but they're loyal customers and he likes them.

He used to get some of the cadets from the academy. His military clientele has been on the decline since a competing diner 'Biscuit Baron' started popping up all over the Galactic Empire. The cadets get a discount and the officers get frequent buyer points towards 'Biscuit Baron' jawa mugs, breakfast sandwiches and discount tickets to Colonial Coruscant, the new historic family theme park in Western Coruscant.

The glitzy restaurant chain moved in on his turf in Coco Town. There was a 'Biscuit Baron' on nearly every block in every neighborhood. Big deals, so each of the upscale diners had great food and were up to code with the health department; did this make the fancy chain better than the friendliest comfort food spot in Coco Town? Not in Dex Jettster's opinion. Those 'no pest' scurrier strips near the back door added character to the place.

So when Luke and Mara walked through the door he wipes his hands on his spotty apron and lifts his arms with a grand welcome.

"Well isn't this a welcome sight! My favorite young Jedi and his girlfriend!"

"Hi, Dex, how's it going?" He lets Dex finish hugging him and patting him on the head. The gregarious besalisk has yet to notice a periwinkle box that the Jedi knight is holding.

"I'm okay…" Dex looks around his diner. A few patrons are still dining. It's quiet. "What brings you here? Thought you'd be dancing the night away. Everyone has been talking about your sister's big wedding. "

"It was great. It went off without a hitch. Mara and I were a few of the stragglers left at the reception."

"Well, you both look elegant. How are you doing 'Lil' Red'? Are you here to clean out my diner or just give my cook a nervous breakdown?"

Mara blushes. During one of her visits after her trials, she ordered an Eopie bacon club sandwich with chopped tomato because she did not like the idea of struggling with a big slice of tomato between the toast; and she wanted the sandwich cut into squares, not triangles. The waiters made up a special menu chart and posted it in the kitchen just in case. They even pulled straws to see who would have to wait on her.

"Hi, Dex, how are you?" Mara twirls he beautiful red hair.

"Just peachy. So, may I escort you to your usual table, Master Skywalker…Miss Jade?"

Luke is amused as the bulky restaurant owner bows. His white chef's cap slips to the side of his enormous head.

"Sure."

He leads them to the booth that they frequently occupy when they can get it. Dex grabs two menus from another booth and presents them to the couple as they sit. Luke remembers the box.

"Oh, Dex, this is for you."

"For me?"

"It some of Leia and Han's wedding cake and a couple of party favors. There's a digital frame too. I even loaded holographs from the reception for you."

"Wow! Thanks, Kid."

He opens the box and smells the sweet, fragrant cake. He sees a digital camera and the loaded holoframe. Luke and Mara watch with great interest as Dex watches the images. He is like a child on Befana Eve.

"This is super, Luke…it's like I was there in the flesh. Thanks…how thoughtful of you to remember me."

He holds the periwinkle cake box close to his face. You can hear his nose at work sniffing the delicate lemon filling with passion fruit mousseline. He even gets some of the gorgeous Felucia Phaelenopsis orchids that decorated the cake. Mara bites her bottom lip as she listens to his nose take in the aromas like a vacuum cleaner. His push-broom mustache sounds as if it is _'sweeping'_ the box lid. He musters all his self-control not to eat it at that moment. He wants to behave like a proper gentleman and sit down with a cloth napkin and fork to enjoy it. He wants the whole wedding experience. He immediately closes the lid. The beautiful silk ribbon drapes over his thick wrist. He has a blissful smile on his face.

"This looks like a slice of heaven."

Luke is pleased that the diner owner likes his gift.

"Enjoy."

Dex takes a clean dishtowel and drapes it over his forearm to imitate those fancy waiters at the 4-star restaurant in town 'Le Boga d'Or'.

"So, what can I get you fine people?"

Luke is not terribly hungry but he opens his menu anyway. Mara opens her menu. Her eyes dart across the laminated list of items like a midichlorian scanner. She closes the menu; her small, delicate hands are face down on the laminated cover. She is ready to order. Mara is like a proud student closing her blue book after completing her final exam. Dex prepares to use his stylus. His order comm is at the ready. He is bracing himself for the _'red menace'_ to place her order.

"I know what I want."

"Okay, Missy. Let's have it."

"I'll have the blueberry pancakes…"

"Jawa stack or super bantha stack?" They stare at one another. Dex thinks how silly he is to ask. He corrects himself. The stylus moves daintily in his big hand. "…make that a super stack…any thing else, milady?"

"Yes, warm syrup on the side; the real stuff not the fake supermarket stuff; and I want the bantha butter on each layer so that each pancake gets an equal amount, but make sure it's not cold butter because I don't want a chunk of butter stuck on the roof of my mouth. I also want a side of Eopie bacon but on a separate plate…crispy…not burnt."

While Mara rattles off her order, Mel, the cook can be heard in the kitchen cursing to himself.

"Awww _'eff!_' …you're _'sithing' _me! Doesn't this chick ever go home? Bacon on the side…I'll _bacon _her side alright…got a skillet right here!"

Mel continues to rant. Mara barely hears him over the banging of pans and utensils clanging. She is too busy gazing across the table at Luke. Dex and Mel have a code whenever Mara is placing an order. He programs a signal into the order comm. It is their super double top-secret code called _'Code Red.'_ All the wait staff knows to use it.

"I'll also have Alderaan orange juice and a glass of milk in a chilled glass, please."

Dex smiles as Mara hands him her menu. He sees his order comm beeping like crazy on his apron string. It is Mel, still cursing up a storm in the back. Dex continues to smile as he awaits Luke's order.

"…and what about you , Master Luke?"

"Uhm…I'll have two poached duck eggs, multi grain toast, orange juice and blue milk please."

"Buttered toast or on the side."

"Buttered, please."

"Regular juice or…"

"Regular juice."

"Chilled glass?"

"No, regular glass please."

"Don't cost nuthin'"

"Normal glass, thanks."

"Very good, sir." He takes Luke's menu. He turns to Mara and smiles again. "Wow! What a rock! Nice ring"

Mara gushes then holds out her hand to allow Dex to get a good look at the ring.

"You like it? Lu-Lu…I mean, Luke gave it to me. We're engaged…but it hasn't been officially announced yet. It's unofficial…the announcement…not the engagement."

"Your secret is safe with me." He winks.

She holds her hand up so Dex can get a closer look. He knows it is of superior quality from his mining experience in the Outer Rim.

"Well, since you're tying the knot, this calls for a celebration. Your meal is on the house." Mel starts sending data to Dex's order comm. Indicating that he can ill-afford to give away any profits, especially for these special orders from _'Right Said Red.'_ Dex bows as he backs away. He disappears into the kitchen but returns to their table for a brief moment holding a small lazy Susan. He sets it in the center of the table. Each if its six demitasse-sized vessels contains a different type of jam.

"Something just to add a touch of class when eat your toast. Just got this shipment in the other day. It's called _'Confiture aux fruits du bois.'_ It's imported from Taris…Saw it in one of those fancy food magazines. Fancy huh?"

Luke smiles as he gives the 'wheel of jam' a whirl.

"Yes…thanks, Dex."

Dex is determined fend off his competition down the block in any way he can. Luke and Mara enjoy a hearty breakfast at 2:30 in the morning. Before they are served, he sets a candle n the table.

"For luck."

He quickly disappears behind the register near the entrance. The remaining two or three customers from the factory notice him making a fuss over the young couple. They hope the smoke detector does not sound since it is installed directly above the table where Luke and Mara sit.

Luke and Mara wile away their time enjoying a belly-buster pre-dawn breakfast. A few hours later, Anakin was preparing to hand over his youngest child to the grandparents. He trusts no one else to do this, except for, perhaps Gladys and he thought it would be unfair to impose on her. He knows she would gladly take on the responsibility. Kris would be just fine with Ouisanne and Nakai. After the handover, Anakin wonders what his little one will look like when he sees him again. He is certain he will grow some, even sprout a new tooth but he forgets to ask his mother-in-law not to play dress-up with him. Not that the baby will mind much, he just hopes she leaves the child with some semblance of Jedi dignity.

Anakin thinks about this again during the flight out of Coruscant. His mother-in-law has a lot of free time. Kris is the youngest of all her grandchildren. She is definitely going to tote him around to her tea parties. He prays Kris will be on his best behavior.

A few hours pass. Anakin also thinks about the wedding reception. He actually enjoyed himself; even after surrendering his daughter to 'his royal scruffiness' Sir Han Solo. Other people suffered more than the Dark Lord did. This reminds him, he needs to make contact with Obi-Wan. He has a mischievous smile on his face as he thinks of his good friend. Anakin signals the comm as the ship leaves Coruscant Sector and the Core Worlds. The ship is on autopilot.

"Obi-Wan, good morning."

"Good morning, Anakin."

"How was the 'pickup'?"

"Not as problematic as I thought."

'I knew you would be able to handle the situation."

"Well, the _'situation'_ had to be subdued and threatened a few times if he did not behave. Sooo…how are your troopers?"

"One is with his grandparents and the other three will be dropped off at our agreed meeting location on Monday."

"All is going according to plan. Good."

"So…rumor has it, you're getting hitched."

"Anakin, why did you have to bring that up?. Just when we were starting to have a civil conversation…"

"What did I say that was out of line?

"Well, is it true? I missed some of the brouhaha leading up to the announcement."

"There was no _'announcement.'_ Bunny didn't know what she was saying…it was the alcohol talking."

"Now, Obi-Wan, we all know Bunny said those things with a clear and sober mind. I just want to say, I'm fully supportive of you two wild and crazy kids when the day comes for you to stand before the priest to proclaim your love…"

There is a click as Anakin continues talking. He is waiting for a response then realizes he is having a one-way conversation. Isabel returns from looking in on the children. She sees Anakin cursing under his breath. There is a mischievous smile on his face.

"That SOB…"

"What' happened, Anakin?"

"Obi-Wan hung up on me; that old fool!"

"What would make him do that?"

"Who knows? Senile old man." He starts the comm again, smiling the whole time. Isabel smiles.

"You sound like Owen."

"Isabel! How dare you?" Anakin is waiting to get Ob-Wan on the comm again to taunt him. The light turns green. The voice is official sounding.

"Starship Caamas Hawk…General Kenobi…Over."

Anakin snickers then whispers to himself as he mocks his former master.

"What the_… 'General Kenobi…_this is rich…" He decides to play along with Obi-Wan and responds. "Good day to you, General. Lord Skywalker here…aboard the…Bel Cruiser…Over."

Isabel does not recall having any of her husband's ships named after her. She glances at him in disbelief at his juvenile behavior.

"I know you didn't name this ship after me."

"Oh, honey…you know I did…remember we christened it during its completion…."

"I don't want a ship named after me and it's not the name of the ship anyway."

He has heard enough from her. He waves his hand.

"Alright…alright…alright…calm down…geez…I was paying tribute to you but if you don't want it…I'll rename it. Just when I try to do something nice…you're so ungrateful."

"Just…stop…you're embarrassing yourself. I don't want a ship to be named after me. I hope you and Obi-Wan enjoy your little 'sword fight'."

She flips through a magazine. Anakin speaks into the comm again. He forgets that the speaker is still on during his 'discussion' with Isabel. Obi-Wan has been eavesdropping and laughing as he listens to them bicker. Anakin tries to contact Obi-Wan not realizing that his former mentor has been listening to them.

"Commander Skywalker aboard the _Boonta Eve Condor_…General Kenobi, do you read me? …Over."

"Everything alright aboard the _'Love Boat,'_ Commander?"

"Affirmative…don't worry about us, General. Did you hang up on me earlier?"

"Did I hang up on you?"

"Don't make me repeat myself. You heard me."

"Listen, I'm carrying cargo of yours that I can dump into the deep space at a whim. I won't feel guilty about it either. Don't test my generosity, Anakin."

"Calm down…calm the _'eff'_ down. I won't bother you again about your wedding plans."

"There are _'No'_ wedding plans."

"Okay…if you say so…but my wife is here looking at maid of honor dresses."

Isabel interrupts.

"I most certainly am not!"

"Anakin, I'm holding your 'cargo.' I can tell the computer to activate the debris hatch at any time…"

"Fine! See you at the rendezvous point as scheduled."

"Thank you. May the Force be with you."

"And also with you, Master."

"Goodbye."

_Click._ The comm. Light stops flashing. Anakin sits back in his pilot's chair. He looks over at Isabel. She is still flipping through her fashion magazine.

"I know you're laughing. Lower that magazine and laugh to my face."

"You know it was wrong to taunt him, Anakin."

"I was having a little fun. Whose side are you on anyway?"

"Just take it easy on Obi-Wan; after all, he is doing you a big favor."

"If you're going to sit up here with me you should at least be supportive."

"Fine; I don't have to stay up here. I'll go to the sleeping bay with the children."

"Hold on…hold on…you can stay here so you can bask in my glory."

"Right."

Isabel returns to the co-pilots' chair. She knows Anakin does not want to be alone. He pretends to be only remotely interested. Would never be caught reading one of her magazines.

"Sooo…what are you reading?"

"Nothing important…just taking one of those silly marriage quizzes."

"Hmmm…about us?"

"No…just having some fun…killing time…"

"Well, you only have one husband so you're obviously taking a quiz about me. If it's to rate how good your man is in the sack you should have a million points."

"Uhm…It's not the same point system…."

She starts to erase some of her answers as he tries to sneak a peek at the page."

"Did you just try to erase something? Let me see that."

"Stop! It's just for fun. Just drive your ship. Back off!"

"I think something fell out of the magazine."

"Oh…where?" As she looks around her chair, he snatches up the magazine and finds the page that she dog-eared. He is wearing his pilots' gloves as he holds the magazine. Once she realizes that nothing has fallen, it is too late. Her husband is reviewing her answers.

"What the…you gave me nine points out of ten for the third question?"

"I was leaving room for improvement. No one's perfect. You shouldn't read someone's personal papers."

"If it's onboard my ship, it's not personal. What's gives with question 'number seven'? I respect your privacy! You gave me a '5'? This is so unfair."

"I'm going to stay in the sleeping quarters. Wake me when we arrive at our destination."

"You have a bad attitude."

"Shut up. May I have my magazine please?"

"No. I'm reading it."

"Fine!' She leaves but returns a few moments later with a data pad. She tosses it onto the control panel then leaves."

"What's this?"

"A dictionary. I figured you would need some help reading the articles. Oh, it also has a calculator to add up your rigged score…you big baby."

"I can spell…don't be such a snob. I saw your spelling bee awards from grade school Miss _'I can spell words with more than six letters.'_ "

He speaks in a falsetto voice. His wife does not respond. As soon as Isabel leaves the cockpit, Anakin snatches up the data pad lexicon.

_**Landing at Mos Espa**_

It is almost dusk Tatooine time. Isabel prepares the children to leave the ship. Alex buttons his own shirt. He yawns.

"Mom, why are we going on separate vacations?"

Ana-Lena chimes in as Isabel adjusts the ribbon in her hair.

"Don't you love us anymore?"

Li-An checks the contents of his backpack. Skippy sniffs around it.

"Sure they love us but Yoda says they need a mental health break from us kids. He's like their marriage counselor and he's not even married. I am still trying to figure that one out. But don't worry; now that Leia's shacking up with Han and Luke is ready to bail, I'm the Skywalker who's going to watch over you two kids…being that I'm next oldest."

"But you're just a kid too."

"Luke and Leia aren't around to help now. I'm your only hope."

Isabel turns to her 8-year-old son.

"Li-An, I'm going to tell you this only once. While you're on Tatooine, I don't want any shenanigans. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Mom…but they don't have any kids. How are they going to cater to our needs?"

"Your father has a security plan in place; so you will be fine."

"Shouldn't we know something about these plans?" He makes quotations marks with his fingers.

"You'll know all you need to…and don't mock your father. He thought long and hard about his decision."

Li-An chimes in with a sarcastic remark.

"Yeah…in between watching pod racing on the plasma. We'll need a survival plan. Beru and Owen can't possibly be prepared for us."

Alex looks at his mother with worry in his eyes.

"Are they going to have activities for us?"

"Your father made up a list of things for them to do with you."

Ana-Lena is worried too.

"May we see the list?"

"Why? Don't you trust your father?"

"Will we have a good time?"

"It's up to you to make this vacation work for you."

Alex is not convinced.

"That's a big responsibility, Mom. You know we get into mischief when you and Dad aren't around to rein us in. Why can't we go with you? We'll be good."

Isabel reassures them.

"Alex, I believe that you, your brother, and sister are all smart and resourceful children. You can do this. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Relax. You'll be with us tonight and part of the day tomorrow. We would never drop you off without making sure everything is in order, do you?" She hugs Alex. Artoo sighs and chirps something to Threepio. The protocol droid walks over to Alex.

"Don't worry, Master Alex. I believe you'll have lots of fun."

Isabel returns to the cockpit to check in with her husband. He has a big grin on his face as he checks his landing coordinates.

"Are they pouting?"

"Yes."

"What line did you give them?"

"I told them that we have taken proper precautions to ensure their safety and happiness."

"That was good. So, what's their beef?"

"They're not thrilled, nor are they convinced. I feel guilty."

"Guilty for leaving them or guilty for subjecting Owen and Beru to a possible nervous breakdown?"

"Leaving my children, of course!"

"You're going to be the bad guy no matter what."

"Thanks for your support. Throw me under the star cruiser why don't you?"

"When we return for them, I'm going to be their hero…well…you too…ahem."

'_**It's 10P.M.: Do You Know Where Your Younglings Are?'**_

The ship lands at the private vehicle spaceport. Anakin unloads his family and the droids. He rents a YUV to get around the town. The luggage and toys are packed in the rear. They head into town and check into a hotel. The children scramble onto the balcony of the Mos Espa Sands Hotel to view the skyline. It is a classy and hip family-friendly alternative to most of the hotels on the strip. It has the feel of an oasis in the Mos Espa desert. The beach at Mos Espa Bay is man-made, complete with a wave pool and an adjoining river. There is also an aquatic park, where the children can get a glimpse of exotic sea life from across the galaxy. There are no other children around this evening.

The dual suns are about to set. Li-An is amazed by the bright lights in the bustling racing town. The Mos Espa Grand Arena can be seen in the distance. The infamous Boonta Eve banner ripples high atop the stadium under the floodlights. Li-An is awestruck.

"Wow…"

Threepio places his arm on the child's shoulder.

"Yes…impressive, isn't it, Master Li?"

"Sure is, Threepio." Li-An runs back into the room. "Hey, Dad! This is such a cool view! I can see the pod-racing stadium from here. Now I can tell all the kids in class that I saw the actual stadium where you raced as a boy."

Anakin joins the children on the balcony. Mos Espa has become more of a tourist town each time he visits. There are ten more hotels than in previous years. There are several casinos and a new golf course near an artificial lake on the outskirts of town. He thinks about how he will spend the next day with the children before dropping them off at the Lars Homestead: The Dust Bowl of the Galaxy.

Ana-Lena looks up at her father as she holds onto her doll.

"I didn't see too many children at this hotel, Daddy. Who's going to play with us?"

"I'm sure there are kids, but we're only here until tomorrow."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Anakin takes everyone downstairs to dinner. Li-An and Alex leave the table to go to the lavatory. Li-An watches people leaving the restaurant. He pokes his head out towards the main walkway leading to the casino.

"Hey, Dad, where are all those people going?"

"To the casinos. It's not for kids."

"Oh… "

Anakin soon returns to their table. Ana-Lena is eating dessert. Isabel looks at them.

"Are you ready?"

"Yeah."

Anakin summons the waiter. Isabel interrupts.

"I paid the check already. What took you guys so long?"

"The boys wanted to look around."

"Oh…well, we have to get up early tomorrow."

"Yes, ma'm."

Once everyone is upstairs, Isabel tells the children to get ready for bed. Alex and Li-An whine.

"Aww, mom…we slept during the trip down. We're not sleepy. Can't we see stuff?"

"Stuff? It's nighttime. There aren't any children up at this hour."

"Mom, did you get a good look around this town? There aren't any kids at all…not our age anyway."

Ana-Lena turns to let her mother unbutton her dress. She smiles and points to her father and brothers.

"You just want to look at the gamblers."

Li-An looks back at his sister. She knows what they are planning. Anakin thinks they are going to be stuck inside for the night if she blows their cover.

"Bel, the boys and I are just going to sit up and watch the plasma for awhile. We'll keep the volume down so you can sleep."

Isabel glares at her husband then gently ushers Ana-Lena into the bedroom.

"Come on, Ana-Le. Let's get you into bed."

An hour passes. Isabel, still dressed, has drifted off to sleep with Ana-Lena on the king sized bed. She wakes up and walks into the main room of the suite. The plasma is still on but Anakin and the boys are no longer in the room. The droids are gone too. Isabel curses under her breath.

"That….ooooh, wait till I get my hands on them."

Downstairs on the casino floor, a crowd forms around the Sabacc table. A casino guard dressed in a red jacket tries to block her from entering.

"Ma'm, you cannot bring children into the casino. No droids or children allowed."

"Yeah? Like the droid over there? Right…out of my way."

She has Ana-Lena by the hand. Ana-Lena is wearing floral pajamas with the pink ribbons on the leg and ruffled sleeves. Isabel scoops her up into her arms and walks pass the guard.

"Are we going to look for Daddy?"

"Yes. And I know just where he is."

Alex selects a card from his father's hand. Li-An senses someone new in the room. Anakin continues playing without turning. He whispers to his son.

"Your mom's here isn't she?"

"Yep."

"Okay…keep cool."

Threepio throws up his arms and lets out a gasp. He hurries over to Artoo who is engaged in a fruitless conversation with a slot machine. Threepio tries to steer the astromech droid away.

"Oh, dear…what a mess we're in now, Artoo." The little droid responds with a few wistful chirps. Threepio ties to reason with him. "What? So what if she does have lots of pretty flashing lights? She doesn't have anything to say. Keep feeding coins to her; you'll not get anything out of her, I can guarantee that. "

Anakin folds his cards and leaves the table. The dealer and spectators applaud. He hands the dealer a tip before walking away. It is not often that the Dark Lord sits in on a Sabacc game with a bunch of regulars. Li-An takes the chips and dumps them into a plastic pail. The Mos Espa logo reads, _'Dump Luck Buck-et.'_ Anakin stands and shakes hands with the casino staff. He sees his wife and daughter. Ana-Lena waves.

"Hello, Daddy."

"Hello, Sweet pea. Hi, honey."

"You left the plasma on upstairs, Daddy." Some of the patrons laugh.

"Thanks for telling me, Sweet pea."

"You're welcome."

"Let's go."

Threepio confides in Isabel.

"Madame Isabel, I warned him that this was a very bad idea and that the children should not be exposed to such corruption but he wouldn't listen to me."

Artoo chirps something as he speeds across the casino floor. He has just tucked away 150,000 credits into one of his empty storage drives. The slot machine rings incessantly. The siren on its top keeps whirling.

The family follows Isabel to the lobby elevator. Once they are back in the room, Isabel does not argue with her husband. Anakin knows better. Li-An waits until everyone is in bed. He checks his backpack for his winnings.

'_**Another Batch of Skywalker Younglings'**_

Morning - After breakfast, Anakin and his family check out of the hotel. He takes the family in the YUV into the merchant district. They find a parking spot. Artoo helps to unload a stroller. Isabel wheels Ana-Lena in it. She is not too heavy to carry but it is too warm to walk around with a child in ones arms.

It is a typical sunny day in Mos Espa. The street is bustling with people, mostly locals, and a few tourists looking to get a good deal on foreign electronics. Anakin stops in front of a shop. Li-An and Alex read the marquee:

'_**Watto's Reclaimed Emporium'**_

'_We don't take crap…We fix it'_

"Dad, what sort of place is this?"

"It's a place where I used to work when I was your age."

"Oh…" Li-An becomes introspective at this point. Qui-Gon told the child about a mysterious place where his father spent his childhood. "The sign says _'Open'._ Should we go inside?"

"Sure. Let's check it out."

Anakin helps Alex pull the door handle. Anakin ducks his head as he did during his last visit with Luke and Leia years ago. Not much has changed. There is a new cash register. A bell sounds as they cross the threshold. Ana-Lena stays in the stroller. She feels safer there. A few of the pit droids can be heard scampering around the counter. Anakin laughs when he sees a service bell on the counter. Alex carefully pokes his head inside a barrel containing all sorts of droid parts and starter kits. Skippy barks at the noisy container. A battered sign attached to the rim reads:

'_Three for 99 Centimes/ Any Combo'_

Alex brushes his hands. It seems as if the same dust and sand covers the place from years ago. He looks around. The gritty combination of dust and sand can be heard beneath his shoes as he walks across the floor.

"Wow, this place could sure use a good dusting."

Li-An agrees.

"Yeah…look at this place…what a…."

Anakin interrupts.

"Don't say it."

"But, Dad, it's full of jun…"

Suddenly a voice calls out from across the room.

"Ke Booda" _[What?]_ No wega mi conforta?_ [What can I do for you?]Ani? Ani!!! Hey! My boy! Long time no see! Come in, come in…who are all these little people?"_

"Hello, Watto. These are my children… remember? I sent you a letter with a holograph?"

"Ahso…Little Ani still little."

"No…That was Luke you met. He's tall like me now…almost. Leia too. These are the new ones. Alex and Li-An."

Li-An and Alex greet their father's old friend.

"Hello."

"Hello."

"New little Ani's?" Watto is confused. Anakin heard from Obi-Wan that the old shopkeeper was getting a bit senile. It did not matter. It was still good to see the old fellow alive and keeping busy. Watto gives the younglings a once over. "Ahhhhhso….two new Ani's and new Leia?"

Anakin takes Ana-Lena from the stroller. She smiles immediately as Watto flies down at eye level. She embraces him. Watto is taken aback. He never gets hugs.

"Hello. I'm Ana-Lena."

Watto breaks into a wide grin then laughs.

"Not Mini Leia for sure! Ahaha!"

"I have a smaller little Ani back home. He's still young."

"Well…you've been busy, Ani!" He winks then stops. He focuses in on Isabel. "Ani! Very nice! You're a lucky guy you are!" He buzzes over to Anakin and elbows him.

"This is my wife, Isabel."

"Hello, Watto." Isabel's face is kind. He looks at Anakin once more.

"Ahh…Yes…yes…I remember you sent me holograph. You look happy, Ani."

"I am." He knows that Watto is not the same after hearing him repeat himself.

"Well, let the children play…everything is safe here. Come…sit…sit."

Isabel joins Anakin at a table. She listens as the two reminisce and catch up on news. Watto is thankful that Anakin provided him with protection during the overthrow of the oppressive Empire. Watto, however, growing increasingly senile, and a bit paranoid, was still too afraid to leave Tatooine to attend the wedding. Obi-Wan mentions this to Anakin weeks before that the locals saw him as the crazy old shopkeeper down the road. Anakin brings him a gift. The miniature cake was a thing of beauty. He almost cries at the sight of it. He glances over at the children and is able to smile again.

"You are a good boy, Ani. You deserve beautiful things. The heavens will reward you."

"I'm already rewarded."

Threepio and Artoo argue with a couple of the feisty pit droids.

"Why you dusty little chunk of metal! Mind your manners. A warm oil bath is what you need. It should change your attitude."

Artoo reaches out to one of the tiny droids and rattles it until it is dizzy. The pit droid staggers a bit before tipping over into the barrel. Ana-Lena grows tired of the pit droids and the other moving gadgets. She walks over to her father. Anakin lifts her up on his lap. Watto smiles.

"Oh, Ani…this little one is going to break a thousand hearts. Keep an eye on her."

"I intend to."

"Sooo where do you go from here?"

"The Lars Homestead. The kids will be staying for the rest of the summer."

"I see. That's old Clegg Lars' place….hmmm."

He thinks for a moment then zones out. Ana-Lena whispers to her father.

"I think he's asleep, Daddy."

Anakin waits a few moments. He checks his watch. They will need to leave soon. Finally, Watto opens his eyes and continues talking where he left off.

"Nice kids you have, Ani. Maybe you'll send them down to help me with the shop. I had to sell off part of my chain. I couldn't handle the workload. But this here is the original. You were always like a son to me, Ani. This can all be yours. The price is right."

"I'm sure it is, Watto. I think you should hang onto it. You're not going anywhere yet."

Watto looks in the fancy periwinkle box and smells the cake.

"What's this?"

"It's from Leia's wedding cake." He had already told the old Toydarian what it was before he drifted off to sleep. Anakin is afraid, with the old guys' condition; locals will try to take advantage of him. The shop is all he has. "Watto, do you need anything?"

"Need anything? No! I can take care of myself. Who are those kids over there touching my merchandise?"

"They're my children. Remember?"

"Ohh, yeah…the two little Ani's…Where's that little girl who was hiding from me a minute ago?"

"Leia's all grown up now."

"Ohhh… so who is this cute little one?" He smiles at Ana-Lena. She swings her legs as she sits on her father's knee.

"This is Ana-Lena; my youngest girl."

"Ohhh…is it bedtime yet, Ani? I have to watch my holovid then go to bed. It's late."

In actuality, it is just past eleven in the morning. Isabel helps Anakin get the sleeping quarters together in the back room. The place is a mess, a sure sign that the owner is losing his faculties. Watto smiles up at her as Anakin gets him settled in.

"You're an angel. Ani's lucky to have you."

"He's a good man. Goodbye, Mr. Watto."

"Goodbye, pretty lady of Ani. Ani, make sure the little Ani's take home a souvenir. All this is yours you know."

Anakin humors the old shopkeeper.

"I'll remember. Thanks, Watto. Anything else?"

"Turn up the volume to my holovid. I love it when Fred pretends to die."

The familiar theme music starts. Watto settles in. Anakin makes sure everyone leaves quietly. He lets each child take a pit droid before locking up. He turns o the 'Closed' sign around in the window as they head out.

Anakin will stop back to check in on Watto after he returns from the Lars Homestead. It will be the last time he will see his friend alive.

'_**You Will Never Find A More Wretched Hive Of Scum And Villainy'**_

They get back into the YUV. Alex looks out the window.

"Where are we going now, Dad?"

"Mos Espa Raceway."

Isabel stops in the middle of buckling the children into their seats.

"What?"

"Don't worry; I only bought three tickets. I knew that this wasn't your thing. We still have a few hours to kill. You can go shopping."

"What makes you think that I always want to spend the day shopping?"

"The best beachwear in the galaxy is made right here on Tatooine…Come on, you know you want it."

He holds a shiny black credit card between his fingers and waves it in her face. It has her name on it. He smiles as he teases her with it. Isabel tries to resist for a few moments but realizes there is not much else to do there. After all, Tatooine is not exactly the brain trust of the galaxy. She takes the card.

"I'll take your card but I resent the insinuation."

Anakin smiles.

"You girls have a good time."

"Don't feed the boys any junk."

"Yes, ma'm."

Isabel opens the first-aid kit and takes out the sunscreen. She starts to lather it on the children. The boys complain.

"Aww, Mom!"

"Keep still. You need another application. This place is like an oven…you'll burn…you have sensitive skin like your father."

Anakin rolls his eyes as he waits for her to finish so he can start to drive. He laughs as the boys get 'greased up' in the back seat. They are still buckled into their seats so they have no place to go. Their protests go unheeded. Anakin sets his sunglasses on his head and glances as his watch. He smiles while the boys complain.

"Do what your mother says. It's for your own good."

Anakin stops laughing when a hand reaches over the drivers' seat and slaps a layer of sunscreen on his face. The children giggle. Ana-Lena points to a spot on his neck.

"Mom, you missed a spot."

"Good call, sweetie. We don't want Daddy to get sun poisoning and heat burn."

Anakin tries to fight her off. Li-An cackles when Anakin starts making faces.

"Dad, you look like Kris when he gets his vitamins."

Ana-Lena smiles.

"You look funny, Daddy."

A few passersby see the Dark Lord getting _'lathered up'_ and slow down to watch. Anakin pouts like a child. He does not resemble the frightening leader of the Imperial military. It is not easy to instill fear in others when your wife is massaging your face like a baby's bottom. He looks at Isabel then broods in the driver's seat like a beaten animal.

"It's not right."

"Oh, honey, stop complaining. You'll thank me later. Set an example."

Anakin can't wait to drop her off at the new mall. Those people in the parking bay were laughing at him. He does not realize that this actually helped change the public's view of him as a hardened, unforgiving tyrant. They were able to see the human side of the Dark Lord. Some of his harshest critics in the Outer Rim started to admire him. Still…it would make him feel better if he could choke someone.

None of this newfound 'admiration' helps him with his children. The kids laugh at him during the entire ride. He drops off his wife and daughter at the trendy, upscale shopping complex called Huff's Bluff.

The Huff Darklighter Organization owns 40 percent of the retail and residential real estate Between Bestine and Mos Eisley. The high-end shopping mall is a desert oasis catering to the new influx of high rollers at the new casinos and resort tourists. It is the twin shopping and entertainment hub to the Mos Eisley Dune Sea City. Thank heavens for the shopping centers. Anakin drops the girls off at the entrance.

"Have fun, ladies!"

The 'Huff's' is the most beautiful place she has ever seen. There are dress shops everywhere. Ana-Lena waves goodbye to her father. This is ten times better than attending a pod-racing event with the boys. Isabel sees it as an opportunity for Anakin to spend some quality time with the boys. It has been a hectic year with the wedding, the baby, and dealing with Palpatine.

The boys have a great time at the arena. The droids get in free. They have great seats to see the most popular racing stars in the Outer Rim. The event also includes a behind the scenes visit to the pit crew. Alex feels less like a little brother to Li-An and Luke. Anakin enjoys this too. He does not want to miss any part of their childhood years. Now, the part where the fun begins: going to the betting window. Anakin does not care if they tell their mother. Life is too short. It's a vice that won't hurt them or anyone else…and it's fun!

The boys purchase barbecued shaak roll on a stick and frosty melon-lime fizzies. Anakin watches them with great joy. Before the last race, the boys throw up everything they have eaten. Anakin has a few words of wisdom as they sip some soothing lemon water.

"Not a word to your mother about this. If she asks, you had blue milk and a salad."

Li-An and Alex have barely recovered when they look up at their father.

"Can we come back again next year?"

"Yeah! It was fun, Dad."

"Sure! We're Skywalkers. We're not quitters. We're going to come back and eat the same crap next year! Right, boys?"

"Yeah!"

"Gimme five!" The three Skywalker _'men'_ high-five one another.

After the fun at the track, Anakin stops at the shopping center to pick up the girls. Skippy wags his tail and looks out the window. He is thrilled to see them.

Isabel always finds out about the betting. She is like the tax collector. All ill-gotten winnings are turned over to her. A portion is deposited into their trust and the rest goes to a charity of their choosing for those less fortunate. She already knows they ate horrible stadium food. The telltale scent of lemon water on their breath is a dead giveaway that they had eaten something bad. She does not say a word. Let them enjoy their little secret amongst men.

Isabel gives her husband the 'look'. Anakin stares back.

"Don't judge us."

"You know what? I'm not even going to bother" She looks at the boys. "Did you have a good time?"

The boys respond in unison.

"Yes, Mom."

"That's all that matters."

Isabel and Ana-Lena are wearing new outfits; pale green poplin cropped pants with a coordinating green and white sun top, sandals, and matching sun hats. They look lovely. Anakin takes their shopping bags and places them in the back of the YUV. Alex looks at his mother and sister.

"You look nice, Mom…you too, Ana-Le."

"Thanks."

Threepio agrees.

"Very nice indeed, Madame."

Anakin gets into the YUV and starts driving. They are on the highway. Skippy sits on Li-An's lap and holds his head out of the window. Isabel turns to look at her boys in the back seat.

"We bought a few things for you boys and your father."

"It's not matching, is it?"

"Of course not; I'm your mother, I'm not insane. Oh, Anakin, I bought you some new beach sandals. I know how sensitive your feet are to this hot sand. The have cooling pads in the soles. You can even wear them to work instead of those hot shoes and boots you like so much."

The boys crack up laughing. Li-An reaches in the bag behind him an finds the shoebox.

"Aww…these are so cute. They're like Kris's baby sandals only super big! Aha-ha!" He places his small hands inside the shoes and sings the Darth Vader March. "Dad! You'll make the officers pee their pants in these!"

Alex tries not to laugh as much until this moment. He feels compelled to respond.

"Yeah…pee themselves laughing!"

Threepio gasps. Artoo chuckles.

Anakin stops driving. He looks in the rearview mirror at Li-An who is using the large shoes as puppets.

"Li, put those away…please…now." He turns to his wife as if she has betrayed some sacred trust. "I trusted you."

"Good grief, Anakin, it's just a shoe."

Suddenly a soft, sweet voice speaks from behind him. An almost teary-eyed Ana-Lena looks at her father from her car seat.

"I thought you would like them…Mommy let me pick them out, Daddy. I didn't want your feet to burn in the sand."

Anakin lets out a sigh then rubs his head. The vehicle is quiet. Even, Skippy, who has been panting in the seat behind him, is silent.

"Li-An, pass me the shoes."

"But you said…"

Anakin is a bit annoyed.

"Just pass them to me!...please." Li-An starts to hand over the box. "Did I say the box? I said the shoe…"

He takes the box. Anakin removes his trekking shoes, which are for hiking in the desert, but they can still make your feet hot. He tosses them into the box as he puts on the sandals, then opens the drivers' side door and steps out of the YUV. Alex taps his mother on her shoulder.

"Where's he going, Mom?"

"He's trying to apologize, sweetie."

"Oh."

Anakin paces ten steps in front of the vehicle then ten steps back. He places his hands into the pockets of his cargo pants and looks down at his feet. To Alex he looks as if he is searching for some lost coins. Anakin looks up. The tail of his short-sleeved white gauze shirt furls up like a flag in the warm breeze. He lets the shirt hang over his pants. He removes his sunglasses from his shirt pocket, looks at his loyal subjects.

"Everybody out!"

Artoo turns to Threepio and chirps.

"This can't be good, Artoo."

Isabel and the children line up outside the YUV on the side of the road. No one notices but Skippy is at the end of the line wagging his titanium tail in the sand on the side of the road. Li-An looks down at him then rolls his eyes. He gently pats the little droid dog on its head. Li-An whispers to his mother.

"Is he having a meltdown in the desert, Mom?"

"No…I think he's ok."

After a long silence, Anakin holds out his arms.

"How do I look?"

Li-An volunteers the first compliment.

"Real cool, Dad."

Ana-Lena holds her mother's hand.

"You look nice, Daddy."

"Thanks, sweet pea." He walks up to the 'lineup' to inspect his troops. He sees Skippy sitting as if he is the star pupil in obedience class. Anakin sneaks a wink at the dog. Finally, he stops at the girls. "Nice work, ladies. I know what you were thinking…and you were right about me. I was behaving like a butthead."

Alex salutes his father.

"Apology accepted, Your Lordship."

Anakin looks up the highway. There is a rest stop less than half a mile away.

"Who's up for ice cream?"

All three children raise their hands.

"I am!"

Isabel is not as enthused.

"Anakin, we can't keep making all of these stops. We have to get the children to Owen's place."

"Relax, Bel. This is quality time. Anyway, when will our kids see ice cream again before they come home?"

'_**It's a Trap!'**_

They stop off at 'Dune Queen Ice Cream Parlor and Diner.' They are surprised to see other families there. An energy station is just across the road to repair and tune up vehicles traveling the long stretch of highway before the next exit at Anchorhead. Alex surmises that these parents are getting rid of their kids too. He has it all figured out. Lure then to this lonely rest stop, get them all psyched up for a dish of ice cream, and then toss them out on the doorstep of some people they barely know.

After hearing _'Are we there yet?'_ and _'How much longer?'_ and _'We have to pee!' _Anakin pulls into the dusty driveway. Another vehicle is parked there. He mutters to himself. _'This ought to be interesting.'_

The farm has changed a bit on the outside. There is a white picket fence lined with daisies. Beru nagged Owen to buy all of this at the 'Home Fixer' store in Anchorhead. She saw a holovid about a little girl on a farm. She thought it would look pretty. Owen complained because, in order to keep the daisies thriving in such harsh desert conditions, he would have to dig a trench around the front of the farm and create an aquifer. He had to hire farmhands from Mos Eisley and Jundland Wastes. He converted some of the droids into plowing tools to till the sand and mix in some imported soil. What a pain in the ass this was!

Anakin lets the children out of the YUV. He tells them to wait. As Anakin heads for the front door, he can hear angry voices inside.

"But you agreed to it, Owen. Remember the wedding rehearsal dinner?"

"I never agreed to this arrangement. I would have had to been drunk! Beru and I only agreed to take the kids. Isn't that true, Beru? Beru?"

"Well…I may have said something to Master Kenobi about needing help on the farm while I took care of the children…"

"I refuse to have this old creature in my house!

Another angry voice interjects.

"Well, I never wanted to come in the first place! I was forced to come."

Obi-Wan seems to be the only voice of reason but even he is losing patience.

"Will everyone please calm down? We can surely work something out."

"Master Kenobi, I insist you take me back home this instant. I don't care what Anakin says. I refuse to be where I'm not wanted and I won't stay on this dreadful little sand trap of a farm!"

"One more word out of you, old man, and it's the Sarlacc pit for you!"

There is a knock on the door before it opens. Anakin steps inside.

"I tried knocking but I don't think anyone heard me."

Palpatine turns from his seat in the living room. "Thank the maker! Now we can get this matter resolved once and for all! Hello, son. I'm so glad you're here. I need your help."

Owen grumbles.

"Oh, right…this is going to be resolved alright! What a nightmare!"

Obi-Wan looks at Anakin.

"Well, Anakin, I've done my part." He heads out the door only to run into Isabel and the children heading down the steps to the courtyard. They see the swing set. They start to feel a glimmer of hope that their stay won't be too miserable. Obi-Wan has his arms outstretched as he greets them.

"Isabel! Children!"

"Hi, Obi-Wan!"

Li-An looks up at his godfather.

"Can we visit with you during our vacation? Please?"

"Of course you may. I'll be stopping by on occasion as well. You all are dressed for the weather. Isabel and Miss Ana-Lena, don't you look smart in your summer outfits."

"Thank you. Mother and I bought them today."

"Well, you look lovely."

Alex elbows Obi-Wan.

"What's going on inside, Uncle Ben?"

"Ohh…seems to be somewhat of a miscommunication. I believe your father will smooth things out immediately."

Li-An smiles.

"Is that Gramp Palps I hear in there?"

"Well…yes but, Li, I think we should wait until…"

All three children run down the steps into the house. Skippy tears off after them. Threepio and Artoo remain behind.

"Oh dear…those children must really learn to stay put."

The children squeal happily, as they burst through the door and jump on Palpatine.

"Yeah! Palps! You're going to be here?"

"Children, please…control yourselves…yes…yes...I will be here…helping around this garden of Eden…this quaint little farm. I'll be helping to mold your young minds…" He tests the windowsill for dust then wipes his fingers on a handkerchief he pulls out of a pocket of his white linen jacket.

Li-An smiles upon hearing of the plans.

"Cool!"

Anakin corrects them. He notices Palpatine's straw walking hat and white linen shoes then rolls his eyes. The old man looks as if he should be standing outside of a plantation.

"No…your grandfather will be helping out on the farm. Your Aunt Beru will be caring for you while your Uncle Owen will be free to tend to his green acres and other matters of importance."

Alex sounds disappointed.

"Oh."

Isabel finally joins everyone inside the small home. Beru and Owen give her the 'grand tour'. She sees the room where the children will sleep. It is Luke's old room, which now has a bunk bed, a little bed across the room for Ana-Lena with ruffled bed linens. In a new smaller room is a new crib and a rocking chair. Beru was disappointed to learn that the baby Kris would be staying on Coruscant with his grandparents. Anakin reminds her that three children will keep her busier than she could ever imagine.

Owen and Obi-Wan help unload the children's belongings from the YUV. After a last minute briefing with Beru, Owen and Palpatine, Anakin and Isabel take some time alone to say goodbye to the children. Everyone gathers outside before Anakin and Isabel drive off. Anakin cannot help but stare at Palpatine in his white linen suit.

"You getting ready to fry up some chicken?"

Palpatine notices the smirk on his son's face but he does not understand why.

"What?"

"Nothing." Anakin returns his attention to the children. "So, are you kids ready?"

"Yes."

"Be brave."

Ana-Lena hugs her parents. Isabel feels a bit anxious for her children, especially for Ana-Lena.

"Don't worry, Mom, we'll be alright."

Li-An agrees.

"Yeah, we have the droids, Palps is here…he's always good for a few laughs so we'll never be bored; and Uncle Ben is staying at his cottage by the Dune Sea. We'll be brave. If the authorities stop by to arrest Uncle Owen for using us as child laborers, we won't tell them you decided to take a vacation without your children."

Alex kisses his parents.

"I love you both even if you don't want us to come along on your vacation. I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, sweetheart. Mommy loves all of you very much."

Obi-Wan and Threepio takes the children by the hand and stands away from the YUV. They wave goodbye to their parents. As the vehicle pulls off onto the main road for the highway, Owen comes running up the steps.

"Hey! You left the dog! This was not part of the agreement!" He sees Obi-Wan who is also about to leave. "Obi-Wan, you crazy old fool! Come back here!"

Obi-Wan waves from his hovercraft.

"I'll stop by to check on the kids!"

As the dust settles, Owen looks at the children.

"Well…come on…let's go…It's almost time for supper. We'll have no moping about."

Beru takes over once the children are downstairs in the courtyard.

"Children, I want you to feel as if this is your home. I hope you'll feel comfortable to talk to me if you feel homesick or…"

Li-An politely interrupts.

"If you'll excuse us for a bit. I want to spend a few minutes comforting my little brother and sister. We'll be in the guest room that you set up so nicely for us."

"Oh, why, of course. Go on." The children disappear down the hall. Beru looks at her husband. "Oh, Owen, what sweet children they are. They're really trying to adjust."

Half way down the corridor to the guestroom, the three children run screaming for the door.

"But I want the bunk bed!"

"No! You're too little!"

"Mom said we could negotiate!"

"No! She said there would be no negotiations. Our beds have all been assigned!"

"I'm not sleeping in the ruffled bed. That was made for her!"

"But I never had a bunk bed."

"None of us have, but you're the girl so you get the fluffy bed"

Palpatine smiles as he sits in the living room in Owen's armchair as if it were his personal 'throne.' He releases a wistful sigh as he makes himself comfortable.

"Oh, the lovely sounds of little children."

Skippy hops on Owen's leg. Owen is none too pleased with the dog, and he is definitely not thrilled about Palpatine. Owen fumes as the old sith occupies his favorite armchair.

Threepio and Artoo retreat for the garage to soak in an oil bath and rest. They figure the children will be just fine on their own for the moment.

Back inside the Lars home, Beru is preparing dinner. Owen shakes the dog off his leg and decides to put and end to the squabbling I the back room. Beru starts to drop what she is doing and follows Owen. He stops her as she reaches the door.

"Beru, go back to the kitchen. I'll handle this. These kids are in for a lesson of harsh discipline."

"Owen, they're just little children…"

"Trust me, Beru, I can handle this." He walks inside and closes the door.

"Now listen up…you kids are in my house now and there are certain rules to abide by if you want to get through the rest of the summer."

"What? Our dad says this is our vacation and Obi-Wan is to make sure it stays that way."

"That old man's just a crazy old wizard. Tomorrow I want you to take that old Sith grandfather of yours into Anchorhead and have his memory flushed. That'll be the end of him. Your little butts belong to us now."

Li-An is confused. Surely, Owen is a few milliliters short of a container of blue milk.

"Wha? We're not from here and we don't know where Anchorhead is. I don't think we're allowed into operate a vehicle without my dads' consent."

Alex speaks up.

"Li's banned from operating any vehicle, especially after the last time. Dad says so. Anyway, we can't hurt Grand Palps. He's just a retired old man living on a pension. He just wants to live out his days surrounded by his adorable grand children."

Ana-Lena nods in agreement.

"That would be us."

Li-An looks up at Uncle Owen.

"Our dad would be mighty pissed off if we aren't enjoying our vacation. You wouldn't want to piss off my dad…would you?"

Owen is annoyed and frustrated. His day with the children is not going as planned. With a gruff tone, he waves his hands as if to give up.

"Go wash up for supper."

The children wash their hands then arrive in the dining area. Beru sets out their special milk cups from Ewokland. They sit around the table. Beru smiles at the children.

"Who would like to say grace?"

Palpatine is not there. Ana-Lena looks around.

"Where's Gramp Palps?"

Alex whispers to his brother.

"Everybody forgets about him."

Ana-Lena folds her hands on the table.

"We can't have supper without Gramp Palps."

Li-An rises from the table.

"I'll go get him."

Owen, refusing to be embarrassed by an eight-year old, stands.

"Li-An, sit down. I'll handle this."

Li-An obeys. Owen leaves the room and returns with the old Sith. Palpatine sits beside Ana-Lena.

"Oh, well…well… how nice. All the children are here looking so bright…"

Beru smiles as she looks around the table.

"Okay…now, who would like to say grace? Mr. Palpatine…"

Palpatine coughs. Ana-Lena raises her hand high.

"Please, may I say grace?"

"Yes, you may, dear."

Ana-Lena nudges Palpatine to follow her lead. The boys giggle quietly. They are sure Palpatine is going to fry if he even utters a holy word. He does not recall ever praying or saying grace. Anakin apparently has been instilling good manners in his children. Palpatine squeezes his eyes closed as Ana-Lena begins.

_Thank thee, Lord  
For all my many blessings,  
thank thee, Lord for this nice table  
I have bread, this soup with twenty vegetables, _

_this fresh blue milk  
thank thee, Lord.  
for our room and board this summer,  
thank thee, Lord.  
for friends and family. _

_Thank you for letting Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen take care of us_

_for inviting us to stay with them and letting Gramps come too. We hope we will not be a burden for them as they expect we will be  
The Jedi Gods please take such good care of me and my brothers…and keep Palps out of trouble  
Amen_

Li-An rolls his eyes.

"I think we're in luck; the soup's still hot."

Alex sneaks a look at his brother while keeping his hands folded in prayer.

"Amen!"

Palpatine still has his eyes closed. Ana-Lena gently tugs at his shirtsleeve and whispers to him.

"I'm done now, Gramps."

"Oh…of course you are…you're a thankful little child. Saying grace always this long for you? "

"My mommy and daddy says I should be thankful for everything I have because brave Jedi gave their lives so we could have nice things…and…and…we have you…Aunt Beru, Uncle Owen, Uncle Ben…"

Li-An interrupts.

"I think you covered all of them when you said grace."

"Oh."

Aunt Beru smiles.

"And, she did an excellent job."

Alex thinks for a moment as he looks into his bowl.

"Aunt Beru, why do we have hot soup on Tatooine?"

"Oh, well…it's warm during the day but when the dual suns set, it gets very cold. The soup will keep you warm at night."

"Oh."

Palpatine tastes his soup then looks up.

"Excellent question, son. You learn something new everyday. Hump…Mighty tasty soup."

The children go to bed early. Beru, Owen, and Palps say goodnight. Owen sees the little droid dog and shoos him out of the room. As soon as they leave the children, Skippy sits outside the window sniffing around and whimpering. Li-An opens the shutters and lets him back inside. Skippy hops over Ana-Lena's bed and goes across the room. He curls up on the bottom bunk with Li-An. Ana-Lena gets out of her bed. She walks over to her brother and whispers.

"Li…Li…"

"What?"

"I want to sleep in the bunk bed."

"No! Go back to sleep."

"But I never have any fun."

"Fine! Get in…"

"I want the top bunk."

"Alex is in the top bunk…besides, you'll forget you're there and fall out."

"No I won't. Alex…Alex!"

Alex lifts his head from the pillow and looks over the side.

"What?"

"Let me sleep on the top bunk."

"Why?"

"Please?"

"Ohhh…fine…"

The children switch beds. Skippy hops from bed to bed not certain when this game of musical beds will end. Alex winds up on the lower bunk and Li-An takes Ana-Lena's bed near the window. Skippy jumps onto the bed near the window. Ana-Lena is happy on the top bunk.

"Good night, Li-An. Goodnight, Alex."

"Goodnight Ana-Le…Goodnight Alex."

"Goodnight Li, Goodnight Ana-Le."

"Goodnight, Alex…" Ana-Lena giggles.

Li-An lifts his head in the dark room.

"Cut it out! …before Uncle grumpy comes in here."

An hour passes. Li-An feels a dark presence looking down on him as he sleeps. Skippy feels it too. It summons one of the children.

"Pssst…pssst…Ana-Lena, dear…it's… Ahhh!" The dark shadow in the window screams. Skippy is at the window growling as he fends off the intruder.

Li-An as not as startled. His eyes adjust in the darkness. The moonlight gives him a view of the figure at the window.

"Gramp Palps? What are you doing here?"

"I thought you were Ana-Lena." He keeps a nervous eye on the growling droid dog.

"Why would you wake her anyway? What are you up to old man?"

Anakin has given his young son full approval to defend himself and his siblings should the old man attempt anything sinister. Li-An is prepared to do so. Palpatine whispers to the boy.

"Everybody tucked in okay?"

"Yes. Why are you here?"

"I'm a concerned grandfather."

"Why are you outside? Where are you sleeping?"

"Owen has me in a guestroom across the courtyard. I don't think he likes me much."

"Uh…duh! So…we're fine…everyone's fine…what do you want?"

"Nothing…Just wanted to say goodnight, son."

"Okay...goodnight."

The old man leaves and returns to his quarters. Li-An hears a faint beeping sound from his backpack. He unzips it and finds his E-Pod. The red light flashes. A smile forms across his face in the dark room. He speaks in a whisper.

"Jinn-T here…Over."

"Greeting Jinn-T… _'Big Bro'_ here…what's your position? Over"

"On the clouds… _'Big O'_ in the pen with _'Ma Kettle'_…over."

"'_LX' _and '_Songbird_'? Over"

"On the clouds."

" 'Old Sid'? Over…"

"In the crypt…all is well. Over…"

"OK…Received your request. Will check in at Dawn…_MFBU_…Over "

"…and also with you. Jinn-T signing off…Over and out."

Luke signs off. It felt good to hear his younger brother. Li-An Jinn is making his namesake proud. Luke spoke to Qui-Gon the previous evening. The inquisitive Force Ghost wanted the scoop on the Young Jedi's sudden engagement to Mara Jade. Luke heads back to the Jedi Archives. The glorious weekend is over and he has work to do. He reviews a list dictated to him by his younger brother.


	138. Chapter 138 Dawn of the Jedi

_Chapter 138_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Ana-Lena of Sunny Lars Farm'_

'_This Isn't Coruscant Anymore'_

'_Field of Dreams'_

'_Prayer: It's What's for Dinner' _

_Dawn of the Jedi_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

The dual suns rise at 5:45a.m. on the Lars farm. Owen knocks on the door like a prison warden.

"Everyone up…this is not a hotel…get washed up and dressed. Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes. Got chores to do."

Li-An looks across the room at his siblings. Ana-Lena is still sleeping. Her tiny body hangs precariously, head first, off the side of the top bunk. Alex lifts his head from the pillow. Li-An sits up.

"Chores?" He checks the time.

Alex looks back at his brother.

"I've got a bad feeling about this. Should we call Dad?"

"No. He said not to bother him. He wants us to be proactive and to turn a negative into a positive."

"How are we going to do that when we're at a disadvantage?"

"Dad says if life throws you Mustafar lava rocks, have a barbecue."

"Right…he can say that now but it didn't work out too well for him back then."

"Well, how about what Mom says. _'You can wait for the 'Sith' to hit the fan or you can get out of the way'._

Beru is in the kitchen preparing breakfast. She tries to reason with Owen.

"Owen, you can't send these children out to do chores. They need to run around and play like children. They're not farmers."

"I was afraid you'd say that. A little farm work won't kill them."

"But Anakin will be furious."

Actually, Anakin will want to kill Owen but he knows his children. They can handle themselves. Owen reinforces his philosophy.

"Hard work builds character. Beru you've spoiled them already by letting them sleep late."

The children arrive at the breakfast table. They see their grandfather walking in with his overalls and straw hat. He tips his hat to Beru.

"Howdy ma'm. Thought I would dress accordingly. I borrowed these from the wardrobe manager backstage at the theatre."

He sets his hat on the floor beneath the chair. Beru and Owen stare for a moment. Beru continues serving breakfast. The children giggle. All Palpatine needs is a pitchfork.

Anakin gives his children specific dress guidelines for this trip. They arrive at the table wearing lightweight khaki overalls, socks, and sandals. Ana-Lena arrives last. Owen watches as she takes a seat at the table.

"Young lady, we have breakfast at six each morning."

"I had to get my hair done."

Threepio hurries in.

"So sorry for the delay but I had to help Mistress Ana-Le with her hair ribbons."

Owen grumbles.

"Hmm…Hair ribbons don't get the work done around here."

Beru smiles. "She looks lovely. Ana-Lena, I'll be happy to comb your hair before breakfast tomorrow...okay?"

"Yes, Aunt Beru."

"Good. Alex, why don't you say grace this morning?"

"Okay…" He folds his hands.

Owen clears his voice urging the child to hurry.

"Bless us, O Lord, with these gifts from the Lars farm…or wherever they come from which we are about to receive and truly thankful…uhm… from those big moisture vaporators outside we give thanks because we have water to drink…uhmm…. Maybe if they get enough rain, we won't need them so much. Yeah, that's it; maybe you can give us some rain too. Amen."

Li-An has a smirk on his face as Alex struggles through the prayer. Owen grumbles. Palpatine applauds.

"Very nice, Alex. You gave it all you got."

"Thanks, Palps." Alex shrugs. A silly smile forms across his face. Li-An smiles back at him and whispers.

"_Spaz."_

Owen looks up from his plate.

"After breakfast, you boys come out with me. I'll show you around the farm. You'll get a lesson on how a real farm works."

Meanwhile, miles away pass the Dune Sea, Isabel and Anakin are on the beach. Southwest of the Dune Sea, Jedi engineers are working along with Kamino scientists to transport moisture globules and cells from Kamino to Tatooine. The process is slow but it shows promise. The globules multiply forming deep-seated aquifers in the desert. The challenge is to create a pipeline to bring water back to the rest of the arid planet.

The resort areas now have self-sustaining plant life and the beach water has remained clean for the past 25 years. There are palm trees sprouting all around Mos Eisley stretching northeast of the Dune Sea. For those who can afford it, the Dune Sea North is a young flourishing destination vacation paradise.

Anakin sleeps in his beach chaise under a big umbrella. Isabel has just applied a new application of sunscreen on his back. She sits back in her chair and reads her book.

"I miss the children."

Anakin looks almost comatose on his beach chair as he speaks.

"It's barely been 24 hours. They can take care of themselves."

"They're so young, Anakin. Owen's not the most patient man in the galaxy. I hope he doesn't try to exploit our children."

"You worry too much. He wouldn't dare. What's he going to do?"

"They're just children, Anakin."

"I've got it all planned out. This trip is going to be a learning experience for everyone. Massage my feet so I can wear those ugly shoes you girls bought me."

Isabel is tempted to use one of the shoes to whack him on the head…the big ingrate.

Down on the farm, Owen Lars walks with the children as he lectures them on the value of a hard days' work. He sends Ana-Lena back to the house to stay with Beru. He realizes she is too small and will only hinder them. The cool morning breeze they felt earlier is now a warm blanket of air. They have walked clear to the other end of the farm where two large vaporators stand. The meter reader indicates that they are filled to capacity. These are ready for harvesting. Li-An looks around. It is oppressive. He can see the heat vapors rising from the metal surface. Alex looks on the ground for signs of wildlife.

"Where are your farm animals, Uncle Owen?"

"Don't have any. Moisture farming is the way to go. Can't waste credits on feed."

"What's so great about a moisture farm? It's not like you have fields to plow."

Li-An drags the heel of his toe-covered sandals in the hot, dry sand.

"What do you do all day, sit up and watch for water? You sure have hit the wall for all the farming you don't actually do. It can't be hard work. How many acres do you have?" He eyeballs the area. "Looks like you have at least 20 acres if you just count where the vaporators are located."

"I do just fine. You have a lot to say, boy. What makes you such an expert?"

"I'm not…but I know that you could increase your annual return by diversifying. I think my dad told you that years ago. You can grow other stuff…once you get some decent soil in here."

"I do what I know and I know moisture vaporators. I wasted enough time already building that fence and planting those flowers for your Aunt. It's all going to dry up eventually. Listen, kid, all you need to do is listen to what I tell you to do."

"I don't think our dad had this in mind." He looks out on the vast desert.

"I just need you to harvest the moisture capsules. Get the old buzzard to help you."

He leaves the children and returns to the garage to boot up some of the farm droids. Alex turns to his brother.

"They don't even have a trusty overworked mule named 'Bessie' like in the books we read at home. This farm bites. Luke was right."

"I've got an idea. Let's go."

As they head back towards the garage, Palpatine shuffles across the dry ground to catch up with them halfway. There is gravel in his shoes and he is starting to get a sunburn. He is out of breath and his overalls are all dusty. The old man drops his head and clutches his knees. Alex watches and thinks the old man might collapse and die. Palpatine finally is able to speak.

"Woooh! It's hot out here."

Li-An is not exactly sympathetic.

"No joke."

"So, what are you lads doing all the way out here?"

"Uncle Owen wants us to check these vaporators and haul them back to the storeroom."

"Putz."

"We have to get some tools."

"Why?"

"We have to fix this. I'm not spending my summer vacation hauling vaporators or capsules or whatever it is Uncle Owen wants us to do."

"Well, I should say not! He's insane is what he is. Wait till I tell your father."

"I'm just a kid. I'm supposed to be having carefree fun!"

"You poor dear children. He can't keep us out here in the blistering sun. It's inhumane."

Li-An has the look of defiance on his face.

"There's a swing set with my name on it and by golly, I'm going to use it!" He puts on his sunglasses."

Palpatine follows the boys back to the garage. Meanwhile, at the house, Beru shows Ana-Lena how to snap green beans. She places a wooden storage case in the chair so Ana-Lena can see above the large bowl.

"Do you help your mother in the kitchen?"

"Sometimes, but Daddy says if he wanted us to do work we wouldn't need school. He says he's not against work it just can't take up most of our waking hours. He wants us to have a childhood. He says we can work all we want when we're older."

"I see. So, you like school?"

"Oh yes! We learn lots of fun stuff. My daddy takes me. In the afternoon, I go to Jedi class. Yoda teaches us about the Force. He says he can always count on me to liven things up in class."

"How do you 'liven' things up?"

"I sing. The Jedi Masters look so serious sometimes so I sing a song to make them happy. Want to hear a song?"

"Sure."

"But I can't like this; I might fall out of my chair. I have to express myself. "

"Well, we can fix that. Get on the table."

"I'd better take this basket before it falls on the floor." Ana-Lena stands on the table and uses the basket of snap beans as a prop. She starts to sing.

_If I had one wish to make  
this is the wish I would choose,  
I'd want an old straw hat  
a suit of overalls  
and a worn out pair of shoes._

_Please just let me roam around  
laughing at Cloud City Blues,  
With an old straw hat  
a suit of overalls  
and a worn out pair of shoes._

_Howdy Mister Jawa  
Heigh-ho  
can I get a ride?  
your sandcrawler looks like fun!_

_Sing "Heigh ho,  
the merrio"  
Ring your little bell,  
What have you got to sell?_

_If you had one wish to make _

_This is the wish you should choose _

_Get an old straw hat _

_A suit of overalls _

_And a worn out sandy pair of shoes. Ta-da! _

Beru claps. Owen walks through the door with a big scowl on his face. Ana-Lena covers her mouth because she is caught dancing on the table.

"Ohhh my goodness!"

Meanwhile Li-An, his brother, the droids and Palpatine gather some tools in the shed. They haul them to the driest spot on the farm. Li-An sticks a probe into the sand while Alex tweaks the mechanism on one of the farm droids. Threepio and Artoo assist the boys. They call Palpatine over. He possesses no useful skills to speak of so they enlist him to hold the tools.

"Do you boys really know what you're doing?"

"Do you?"

"I'm not doing anything really. How long are we going to stand around in this horrible place? It's burning up out here."

Li-An looks at the old man with the moist serious expression on his face. Palpatine has never seen the boy like this.

"You know, this is all your fault. My Dad was made to suffer as a boy because of all of this."

He waves his hand to indicate the arid desolate landscape around them. Palpatine is not expecting this.

"My fault?"

"Tatooine wasn't always so desolate and dry. It was verdant and full off all sorts of aquatic life forms. Yoda said so. We learned a lot from his history lessons…even when he thinks we don't listen. Now Uncle Owen and farmers like him believe this is the only way to keep a farm and survive. You complain about the heat, you complain about the lack of trees, but you helped make this."

"Now, Li-An, you're being unfair. There's some rebuilding going on."

"Yes, with the help of the Jedi and with a grant from my father. If you want to earn our respect you need to prove you care."

"How can I help, son?"

"Start digging."

Palpatine must have lost 10 pounds with the digging he was doing. Why did he not foresee this? The things Li-An said hurt him to the quick. This innocent child has turned on him. Why? All of these decades of lust for power, the greed, the dark Forces he coveted…and for what purpose? He suddenly felt ashamed.

Li-An did not say these things to the old man to be mean or hurtful. The intuitive child made a statement of fact.

The old man did not bank on Anakin recovering from all of the misfortune leading up to the Clone Wars. He did not know that he would come to enjoy being around these precocious tikes either. Palpatine does not know if he can resist the dark side but his life seems to be somehow easier now that he has been stripped of his powers. Yes, he did try to snatch the children on several occasions but they are no longer commodities to him to be used a leverage to keep a stronghold on the galaxy. He actually liked them. He is proud to be a grandfather. However, he also envies Nakai Nor, Obi-Wan, and even Ruwee Naberrie, who all have close bonds with the Skywalker children. He watches the two amazing boys and wonders if they will ever see him as anything more than a pathetic old joke.

The farm droids are very effective in tilling the sand and burring holes. Artoo supervises them. Skippy barks at the ground and digs for the hapless scurriers running through the tunnels to escape. The children have been outside all morning. Owen peers through his goggles to check on them. He grumbles to himself.

"What in blazes are they doing out there? Oh…this is going to be a long season." He wipes his brow then shakes his head with worry.

The farm droids transport the moisture tanks to the storage facility for pick-up. Owen does not bother to walk across the farm to check on the children. Beru scolds him and makes him call the children in for lunch. Just as Owen starts out with his tractor to retrieve them, they are walking up behind him. Palpatine is trailing close behind.

"Where are you going, Uncle Owen?"

"I'm…oh! I was just heading out to get you boys. What were you doing out there?"

"Landscaping."

"Landscaping?"

"Yep."

"Well…enough of that. Come inside and have lunch."

The children wash up then take their places at the table. Ana-Lena sits next to Beru. Her hands are folded ready to say grace. Beru smiles. She looks across the table at the boys.

"Li-An, why don't you do the honors this time?"

"Uh…ok….Let's see…"

Owen grows impatient.

"Young man, this isn't an ice cream parlor. There's nothing to chose."

"I have to think this through first. You should have warned me, I would have had one planned out while I was working in the child labor camp."

Owen is about to rise from his chair. Beru tries to get Owen to calm down.

"Owen, be patient. He just wants to make a good impression. Isn't that right, Li-An?"

"Yes, Aunt Beru. Okay, I'm ready. Dear Lord, Bless this farm and the table, the roof over our heads to keep us from getting sunstroke. We apologize to our parents for whatever we did wrong to make them send us to this boot camp instead of the cool Waterslide Park at Ewokland. We pray really hard for Uncle Owen to have a fruitful harvest and hope we have a fun summer after this is all done. Amen."

Owen snaps open his napkin as he looks across the table at Li-An. He utters his usual displeased grumbling.

"It's about time."

Everyone eats in silence for the first few minutes. No one wants to annoy Owen because of his '_children should be seen (working) and not heard'_ edict. Beru feels compelled to start the conversation anyway.

"So, boys, how was your first day on the farm so far?"

Li-An volunteers to answer.

"It makes me more appreciative of the good life I have. It sure makes me want to stay in school."

Alex agrees.

"Me too!"

Ana-Lena sets her glass of milk on the table and offers her comments.

"I'm just happy. But I wish Krisi were here."

She continues to eat her meal but she is a bit homesick.

'_**It's a Crying Shame'**_

Back on Coruscant –

Isabel's parents are enjoying their first week with their youngest grandchild. Nakai stands by the front door. He patiently whistles and twirls his keys.

Ouisanne is in the nursery. She is speaking in her typical calm and nurturing voice but it is countered with screams from a distraught baby.

"No, Krisi, let's be reasonable. This will only take a few minutes. Cooperate with Nana."

The baby's crying only gets louder. Other disturbing sounds can be heard from the nursery. Objects go crashing against the walls, doors rattling and tremors in the foundation of the house. The Nor family droid dog, _Lil' Hellraiser_ runs for cover.

Nakai remains by the front door and glances at his watch. He refuses to interfere. Finally the crying stops. He hears footsteps in the hall upstairs. At the top of the staircase, his wife appears. Ouisanne descends the stairs wearing a lovely designer suit. The jacket is draped over her arm; her shoes and purse dangle by the straps in her hand. The baby is in her arms. She greets her husband with a kiss as she reaches the door. Her hair, finely coiffed just minutes ago looks as if she has just taken a ride, sidecar, on a swoop bike. Kris has not faired any better. His cherubic tear-stained face turns to his grandfather. Nakai feels for the child. He tries not to laugh. The both of them are quite a sight.

Ouisanne, being the dignified lady that she is, gently sets the purse on the table in the foyer and hands the jacket to her husband. She drops her shoes onto the marble floor and slips into them one foot at a time. He takes the baby as she puts on her jacket. Nakai hands the baby back to her. He can no longer resist. He has to ask.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm just fine…it's an adjustment…"

"I'm not talking about you. I'm referring to the little guy. I've got to hand it to him; he put up a good fight." Nakai pretends to shadowbox. Kris chokes back a few leftover sobs and calms down enough to watch his grandfather joke about the 'situation.'

Without missing a beat, Ouisanne checks her makeup, and then smiles at the baby. She tickles his chin.

"But he looks absolutely adorable…you have to admit."

"Poor kid. Let's go."

They fasten Kris in his baby seat of the vehicle. Ouisanne sits in the front seat with her husband as she looks in her compact, touches up her hair, and fixes her lipstick.

Kris is in his seat dressed in a navy sailor hat and matching infant romper. He plays with a trinket he grabbed earlier for his troubles….his grandmother's expensive three-strand Naboo pearls. He rattles them wildly. They drive off to the Annual Bimmisaari Summer Garden Party and Charity Event.

'_**The Spy Who Choked Me'**_

Back at the luxurious Bestine Beach, the private resort spot is filled with vacationers from across the galaxy. Cabana boys weave through the rows of beach chairs to offer fresh towels, drinks and anything else they might desire.

Isabel decides to go for a dip in the pristine waters of the Dune Sea. As she leaves the water, someone is watching her through binoculars. Another set of binoculars is fixed on the viewer of the first set of binoculars.

The owner of the first set of binoculars speaks, "Hmmm…spectacular view."

Just as Anakin is about to force-choke this voyeur, someone else gets his attention. A couple of surfers walk close behind Isabel, boards in tow, carefully study her as she floats by in her new bikini. The surfers suddenly stumble over their boards. She never notices them but a few swimmers and a lifeguard do. They help the two young men to their feet.

Isabel returns to her beach chair. A cabana boy greets her and presents her with a fresh towel. The university student is working on Tatooine for the summer. He traveled on his old swoop bike from Bestine to compete for the few choice openings just before semester break. If he didn't get the job, he would have had to hitch a ride on the way back home since he only had enough energy for the ride to the Dune Sea resort and not for the trip back. He gambled and won a spot at the resort.

He is eager to please and treats all the clients with respect and great service. The tips aren't bad either.

"Here's a new towel, Mrs. Skywalker. How was the water for you today?"

"It was great, thank you Skip."

"May I be so forward as to tell you how lovely you look today? That's a really becoming swimsuit you're wearing. Is it new?"

"Thank you, Skip, you're very sweet. Yes, it is new."

Skip Martin is the dutiful cabana boy assigned to this section of the beach. He opens another fresh towel and lines the beach chair with it. Anakin stares at the young employee through his dark sunglasses.

"Hey! Skipster!"

"Yes, Mr. Skywalker, sir?" He is polite to a fault as he turns to the Dark Lord of the beach.

"I'm sure there are customers who need your attention more than my wife does."

"Oh…oh…yeah…sure."

The eager-to-please college student looks towards the next row of sunbathers. They are older divorcées looking for young men to rub suntan oil on their less-than supple bodies. He gulps, and then bravely walks over to be of service.

Anakin is on the defensive as he turns to his wife.

"Don't give me that look. I wasn't going to do anything to that kid."

"Watch yourself." She wags her finger at him.

Anakin ignores her as he lifts his binoculars and scans the beach.

"I knew it!"

Isabel looks up from her book.

"Knew what, hon?"

"Cover up. We're about to have company."

"Who?"

"The in-laws from hell."

Isabel puts on her white cotton cover-up then sits back in her beach chair. She braces herself for the highly unexpected visit.

Anakin would have intercepted the visit but the blond 'Cabana Boy Skip' interrupted things by bringing over the stack of towels. Anakin would have handled the 'retired' professor when he had him in full view. He folds his arms across his chest as the professor approaches.

"Call me crazy, Professor but I could swear we were being followed."

Professor Solo stands between the two beach chairs.

"Sir, I would never be as presumptuous as to call you crazy. It's a remarkable coincidence, Anakin..." He steals a lascivious glance at Isabel. "…quite remarkable."

Anakin sees him doing this and speaks to gets his attention.

"Where's the Missus?"

"Attending a fashion show…"

"So, what brings you out here?"

"Ohhh…Research."

"Have you researched enough?"

Professor Solo laughs.

"Sooo, what are you two doing here?"

"Vacationing."

"Ahhh…I see…" Oh, where are my manners? Isabel, so good to see you so soon after that glorious wedding." He takes her hand and kisses it. Isabel smiles demurely.

"Hello, Professor."

"No, Isabel, I refuse such formalities. We're family now. Please…call me James."

"I'll remember…James." She picks up her book again.

Anakin rolls his eyes. He is close to Force-choking the man. In-law or no in-law. Finally James Solo turns to Anakin.

"Anakin, perhaps you can answer this question. I am interested in getting into one of the Sabacc games at the high stakes tables. Apparently, it's not as easy as I thought. I think I'll try again tonight when I return to the hotel."

Anakin is glad to hold the professor's attention now that it is not on his wife.

"Oh really? Well, I think I can get you into a game"

Isabel lowers her book and sneaks an angry look at her husband. He ignores her and continues his conversation with Solo.

"I'll arrange it." Anakin smiles.

"Splendid! We'll make an evening of it and take the ladies for dinner and dancing."

"Sounds like a plan." Anakin sees Isabel give him a dirty look from the corner of his eye. He continues to smile.

It is late afternoon on the Lars Farm. The children get some playtime in before dusk. Owen has not gone out to check on the vaporators. There is no need to since the boys hauled the filled water capsules to the storage area for the morning's pickup. He has no idea what Alex and Li-An were doing out there.

Beru calls the children,

"Oh, Alex! Oh, Li-An! Oh, Ana-Lena!"

"Yes, Aunt Beru?"

"It's time for supper. Tell your uncle!"

"Okay, Aunt Beru."

Li-An sends his brother and sister in the house while he goes in search of _'Uncle Festus'_

He hears Owen in the small office off to the side of the garage. Owen is typing on an old computer. The boy stands in the doorway.

"Uncle Owen? Uncle Owen?"

"What?" He is typing figures for the season's harvest.

"Aunt Beru said…."

Owen barks at the child before he can get another word out.

"Can't you see I'm busy with numbers? Go back to the house!"

"But Aunt Beru says it's time …"

"Go! I know what time it is!"

Li-An obeys and returns to the house. Beru sees Li-An coming through the kitchen door.

"Did you tell your uncle?"

"He says he knows what time it is and for me to return to the house."

Li-An washes his hands then sits at the table. He looks back at Skippy who sits in the corner. Everyone waits patiently. Finally, Owen walks into the room in a huff.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?"

Beru looks at Li-An and then at Owen.

"Li-An tried to tell you, Dear but you sent him away."

"Oh…sorry, son."

Owen takes his place at the head of the table. The children wonder, which one of them will be called upon to say grace this evening. Owen and Beru sit quietly. They look at the person who is up at bat. Li-An knows who it is. He thinks to himself 'This is going to be a long supper.' Owen finally speaks.

"I don't figure you would have a prayer in you, do you?"

Palpatine is stunned. Why on all the Outer Rim would they call on him to say grace?

"Well I….I…I suppose I could say something…"

Ana-Lena looks across the table at him and whispers.

"Gramp Palps do what I do."

Owen is losing patience. Just as he is about to say something, Old Palps folds is hands in prayer. Alex helps him along.

"I'll help you, Palps."

Owen speaks.

"Forget it. He doesn't have a prayer in him."

Li-An responds.

"How do you expect him to? He has to at least try. He might be going to hell but give him a chance."

Alex nudges the old man.

"Do what I do, Palps."

Palpatine has never been so anxious in his life. His small grandchildren were urging him on. Ana-Lena smiles sweetly at him from across the table. He starts.

"Uhm…Holy…holy…holy…uhm…Honor thy…thou I walk through the valley of…."

Palpatine is befuddled and is sweating bullets as he tries to muster up a pray over supper. Ana-Lena watches as he falters. Owen interrupts.

"Forget it…I'll say…"

Alex starts saying grace before Owen finishes speaking. He grabs hold of Palpatine's hand.

"Bless this food oh Lord. We give thanks to the farmers like Uncle Owen who keep food on the table and water to drink so we don't starve. Oh, and let us learn to have patience for those who don't know better. Thank the Jedi Gods …and have a nice day."

Aunt Beru smiles.

"Why, Alex, that was quite original. Very nice. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Palpatine eats quietly. He cannot bear to look Ana-Lena in the eye. He feels ashamed.

The remainder of the evening in the Lars home is uneventful. The children are soon washed and sent off to bed. They remember that there are chores to do in the morning. Ana-Lena sees Palpatine as he prepares to go to his sleeping quarters for the night. She tugs at his dusty coveralls and whispers to him.

"Do you want to listen to me say my prayers, Palps?"

"Uhm…do you need me to?"

"My Nana and Pop-Pop Nakai listen when I visit with them."

"Uh…sure…I'll listen." He follows her into the bedroom. Alex and Li-An are shocked to witness the old Sith listening patiently as Ana-Lena says her prayers. Li-An sets his stopwatch and sits on the floor outside the room with Alex. Alex watches the numbers tick away. Palpatine kneels beside the young child. Li-An jokes that the old man's knees will crumble before the prayer ends.

"Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord the Force to keep. Please watch over all my dolls at home, Mommy and Daddy, Baby Krisi, Nana and Pop-Pop, Luke, Leia and her new husband Han, Alex and Li-An, Uncle Ben, Aunt Bunny, all my friends in Youngling class, Master Yoda, the funny little shopkeeper in Mos Eisley, Threepio and Artoo, Skippy, all my uncles and aunts and cousins, oh, and all the Jedi Masters, the cute boy at the wedding…I like him a lot…I think he'll like me a lot too one day, oh, and also Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen. I think they like us here because they need children around the farm…not to work but to make them feel less lonely. Amen….Oh, and if you can find somehow to help Gramp Palps find his way. He's been lost for a long, long time. I'm sure there is some good in him…I truly believe it if he tried…Thank you. Amen."

Palpatine is bracing himself for more. She turns her cheek for him to kiss. He takes the cue. She points to the top bunk. He looks at her.

"Are you joking? You'll fall and hurt yourself."

"Oh, Gramp Palps, you're so silly. I never fall from the bunk…you know why?"

He helps her up onto the top bunk.

"You have faith….yes…yes…I got it…okay…now go to sleep."

"Goodnight, Gramp Palps."

"Goodnight, sweet child."

Palpatine leaves the room. He sees the boys sitting in their pajamas on the floor. Alex looks at his brother.

"One minute…twenty –seven seconds. This must be the express version."

"Okay, Alex, I owe you 5 credits." The boys look up.

"Oh, hi, Palps."

"Hello, boys…going to bed or holding the door?"

"Going to bed. Goodnight."

"Need me to hear your prayers?"

"No, thanks. We're good. Goodnight."

"Goodnight"

After the old man is safely across the courtyard in his room and Aunt Beru and Owen are in bed watching a late night variety show on the plasma, the boys close their door. They have a few late night visitors of their own.

'_Hey kids, how's it going?'_

"Hi, Qui-Gon, Hi Mace…where is Aayla and Ki-Adi?"

'_They're on their way. You kids holding up I see. '_

"We're okay."

Mace cannot resist asking a question.

'_How's the old devil?'_

"Owen?"

'_No! The old guy.'_

Li-An smiles.

"Oh, we know who you're talking about. Palps is holding on by a thread. I think he's going to crack up soon. I don't think he can take too much of this."

'_All of this clean living making him crazy I bet.'_

"Yeah…He's about to break alright."

'_We can't stay long. Your dad says we're only supposed to observe and not interfere.'_

"Awww, man! We wish you could hang out with us."

'_Rule are rules, man.'_

"You're right, Mace, but it sure is cool to see you guys."

Alex agrees.

"Yeah."

Qui-Gon checks on Ana-Lena. She opens her eyes for a moment and smiles at the Force Ghosts before drifting off to sleep. Aayla arrives to wish the children a goodnight. Ki-Adi finally arrives. Qui-Gon is annoyed.

'What took you so long?'

'_I had to console the tot back on Coruscant. You kids are having a dream vacation compared to your baby brother. Your grandmother is a might force to contend with.'_

"Nana can hold her ground against any Jedi. It's better just to surrender yourself to her."

'_I'll see what I can do. He's not liking the outfits.'_

Qui-Gon tells Ki-Adi to wrap it up since they are not permitted to stay long. They bid the children goodnight.

Back at the Dune Sea Resort, Anakin and his wife meet up with the Solos for dinner. The two men gain access to the Sabacc table. Isabel has had enough of this. She leaves the men at the table. It takes Anakin another hour to realize she has left the casino.

He finds her on their hotel room balcony overlooking the water. The sky is clear and the moon bright.

"You left me downstairs. I saw Sabrina Solo at the bar. She said you left."

"I was bored. Anakin, you can go back to the casino if you want but I didn't come here to watch a table full of men smoking cigars and playing cards. I thought this vacation was for us."

"Well you didn't have to tell her you thought I had a gambling problem."

"I never said that."

"Well I don't have a gambling problem…I pretty good at it. I had a good hand when I noticed you weren't there anymore."

"Did you lose your credits?"

"Hell no…I took my winnings and left. They started a new game as I was leaving to find you. So what's gnawing at you this evening?"

"I miss the children…I miss us. Leia's off on her honeymoon…and it's only a matter of time before Luke leaves home."

"Okay…I'll tell you what. We'll ditch the Solo's for the rest of the week. We'll escape for some 'us' time; then we'll decide what to do."

"Are you sure? I don't want to pull you away from enjoying yourself."

"We just spent the past week or so with Han's parents during the wedding. We'll see them plenty when we get back home. I love you."

"I love you too."

They slip away to a different beach leaving the Solo's to wonder what has happened to them. Anakin leaves them a note.

Wednesday – Another day on the Lars Farm

The children are getting used to the daily routine on the Lars farm. The prayer rotation continues. Palpatine has been momentarily exempt. Owen has no patience for the old Sith and does not expect much from him. When the children come in for lunch, Aunt Beru has an announcement to make as they begin the meal.

"Oh, Li-An, a package came for you today while you were outside. It was delivered by Imperial Express."

"Really?"

"Yes, all the way from Felucia."

Owen grumbles.

"Who do you know on Felucia and why are you getting packages?"

"It's probably a care package from my parents. They love me and think about me a lot. They probably want to make sure I'm happy and having a good time. They don't want their precious kids all stressed out when we're trying to enjoy our childhood. Gee, didn't you ever receive packages when you were a kid away at farm camp?"

"Well, for your information, I wasn't pampered like you kids. I worked hard. I lived in tough times. We never had time to play. When the sand storms kicked up, we walked to school anyway. I had to carry my books and my water canteen. By the time I got home, there was no time to play. I had supper, did my homework, and then went straight to bed."

Alex looks at Owen with surprise and pity.

"Wow…Do you wish you were a kid again so you could relive your childhood?"

"Being a kid doesn't put food on the table"

"If you had a childhood then you wouldn't be such a grumpy grownup. Gramp Palps is going to have fun…aren't you, Gramps?"

"I'm sure going to give it a shot."

"I think if you both need to enjoy a day just being a kid like us. I think Aunt Beru could use a fun day if you don't stifle her so much."

Owen stares across the table at the child.

'What did you say?"

Beru smiles.

"Owen, calm down. He's only speaking his mind."

"Hmmm…"

Li-An slowly pulls away from the table.

"May I be excused, Aunt Beru?"

"Where are you going?"

"To get my parcel."

Owen points to him and taps on the table. His finger lands so hard on the table that the vibration almost topples his plate.

"Finish your lunch, young man."

Li-An ponders for a moment.

"Young man…hmmm…I like the sound of that…it makes me feel grown up."

Ana-Lena sits opposite her brother and smiles.

"But you're still just a kid."

"And I'm still in charge of you."

"No you're not!"

Alex chimes in with his own opinion.

"You're not the boss of us. Dad never gave you permission."

There is soon discord at the Lars family table. Alex sulks; Ana-Lena whines and is close to tears. Palpatine sits silent at first as he watches the chaos around him. Suddenly he slams his hand, palm down, on the table. The sound resonates around the small eating area. It gets everyone's attention.

"Children! Stop this at once! Li-An, don't be so bossy; Ana-Lena, stop crying, Alex, he's just looking out for you and your sister. Finish your lunch."

Owen and Beru are still in shock. Threepio gasps as he frantically heads for the door.

"Help! Help! Dial 911! Dial 911! We're doomed!"

Artoo is preparing to activate his red emergency signal to Anakin. Skippy hides under Li-An's chair. The children are still in a state of shock as they listen to the old man speak They obey. Li-An has something to say.

"Wow, Gramps, way to go…awesome."

Palpatine is just a surprised. He is waiting for Anakin to sense what has happened and punish him for speaking to the children as he did. Palpatine does not know what has come over him. He recovers long enough to respond to Li-An.

"Well, I had to do something to get you three in line. I can't have you behaving like wild Tusken hooligans. Your parents raised you better."

Li-An looks at the old man.

"Impressive."

Alex agrees.

"Yeah."

After several minutes, things go back to normal. Li-An clean his plate. He looks at the adults at the table.

"May I please be excused now?"

"Yes, you may."

Owen and Palpatine speak at in unison. The children smile at one another. Ana-Lena slides out of her chair.

"May I go too?"

Alex follows.

"Me too?"

Owen nods granting them permission to leave the table.

They race into the bedroom. They are curious to know what is in the parcel. Owen leaves the table and follows after the children. He stands in the doorway just as Li-An is about to open the package. The boy stands in front of the bed to block Owen's view of the package.

"Li-An, perhaps the old man and I should check the package first…to make sure nothing dangerous is inside."

"Oh, I know who it's from. It's fine. Thanks."

Li-An smiles and waits for Owen to leave. Owen hesitates for a moment then backs away. Threepio waits until Owen disappears towards the living room. He hurries back inside. Alex closes the door. Li-An opens the carton with the Imperial Express warp speed logo in a yellow scroll crawl design on a navy background. The infamous slogan on the lid says it all:

'_Imperial Express: When It Absolutely, Positively has to be there in 30 Parsecs…When your Career and Life Depends upon it.' Our tracking system is the best in the galaxy'_

This does not matter to Li-An. He has his package and he is pleased by what he finds.

"Now we have everything we need. We'll start tonight." He examines several small envelopes. "Luke, you are the coolest older brother ever."

Ana-Lena holds her doll as she points to one of the tiny light blue envelopes.

"What are these?"

"Don't touch." He swipes her hand away. Skippy sniffs around the box and starts to bark at it. Something in one of the envelopes is moving. Alex covers Skippy's titanium muzzle with his small hand. Ana-Lena stands her ground, however. She pleads with her brother.

"But I want to help. Can I help, Li?"

"You're too little, plus you'll only blab to Aunt Beru and then she'll tell Owen…and you know he'll freak out."

"Please, Li… I won't tell. I promise. I want to go with you and Alex."

"Okay, but not one word or we'll never let you in on anything we do ever again."

"Promise."

Li-An turns to the protocol droid guarding the door.

"And that goes for you too, 'Goldenrod.'"

"Well! I've never been so insulted. I'm a protocol droid. I pride myself in being discreet in the most sensitive of situations, Master."

The children go about their day as usual. After dinner, they go to the garage with the contents of the parcel 'to hang out' as they explain their uncle. Li-An and Alex borrow a few of the farm droids then start out on their mission. Palpatine catches up with them as they leave the garage. He knows something is going on.

"What are you children up to?"

"It's on an 'as need to know' basis."

"You can tell me…I'll never betray you, son."

"Yeah…about that…Dad warned me about you. You'll have to find out when everyone else does."

"Li-An, I'm on your side. "

The boy considers for a moment this proposal. He finally looks up at the old Sith.

"Well…I could use your help."

"What is it? Tell me what you need me to do."

"We need a 'Lookout.' You need to keep Owen and Beru busy."

"I can do that. Are you planning a prison break? Tell me. Where are we going? Is it an adventure on a pirate ship…are we teaming up with some obnoxious wizard children…a battle aboard a barge perhaps?"

"What? Get real. You're going to be the lookout…that's it."

"Okay."

Artoo chirps something. Li-An nods.

"You're right, Artoo. You'll be in charge of security. The lookout staff tends to be unreliable…from time to time."

Palpatine interrupts.

"Hey, isn't that my job?"

"No…you're security detail….You're like a first response team. Alex, you have the box of pit droids?"

Alex nods in the affirmative.

"I sure do."

"Great. We're ready. Let's fall into position."

Ana-Lena looks at her brother. She is still holding her doll.

"What's my job, Li?" I want to help. You promised."

"You don't know what we're doing. This is a double top-secret mission. Just in case Uncle Owen or Beru try to force it out of you, you'd tell them nothing…"

"But I don't know anything."

"Exactly! You're doing an excellent job already."

"Oh give me a break! Don't try to doubletalk me. Come on, Li, I want to help."

Li-An sighs. She will not get out of his hair until he gives her something 'meaningful' to do. He thinks of something.

"Alright, alright….How's your singing voice?"

"It's perfect. Everyone says so…I…" He covers her mouth to keep her quiet.

"That's all I need to know. You'll come in handy after all."

"Oh goodie!" She claps her hands then jumps up and down happily.

They send Palpatine off to the house. Li-An leads his minions to the fields of the Lars homegrown sand. They stop at a spot opposite of the setting suns. Li-An carefully handles one of the items that was in the express box. The item is a one and a half liter-size titanium vial. He pulls it out of the triple-layered padding. A seal is attached with writing down the side.

'_Handle with care. Volatile agricultural substance. Do not drop. For use with organic soil only.'_

Li-An sets the container down in the back of one of the farm droids. The children must work quickly so as not to arouse suspicion. They need to return to the house before bedtime.

Palpatine is back at the house. He knows just the thing to keep Owen and Beru occupied.

The couple is having iced Felucia red tea as they sit in the living room when the old Sith shuffles into the room. He carries something under his arm.

"I don't believe I ever showed this to you during your last visit to Coruscant. My assistant put together this lovely scrapbook of my career on the stage."

Before Owen has an opportunity to decline, the old Sith squeezes between the couple on the sofa and opens the huge scrapbook. One cover lands on each of their laps. He sighs proudly.

"Ahh…the glory days…"

Beru looks at the first page he shows them.

"Have you been in the business that long for it to be considered 'the glory days'?"

"Well…since my 'forced' retirement from ruling the empire, I had to find a new career. I think I always had it in me…it had to be dragged out of me…in the most undignified way…You have to hand it to Anakin…the boy sure knows how to make a statement. He always lets you know where you stand…he doesn't dilly-dally around. When he points out your shortcomings, he lets you know right then and there. What an amazing boy."

He sighs wistfully, and then turns the page showing them holographs of him in costume during a performance. Each time Beru tries to look at a new page he stops and tells them useless back-stories from the previous pages. Beru glances at a review clipping in the corner of one of the pages.

"The most horrendous display of hogging the stage ever!"

'Old Yeller Never Disappoints'

The Sith Has hit the Fan in _'The Dark Lord Cometh'_ '

'The Great Dark Way Lights Up With Sith Dark Comedy'

'You'll Laugh, you'll cry, you'll want to jump from a moving star destroyer'

Beru is amazed.

"You get a lot of reviews. This critic didn't much care for your performance."

"But read the next review at the bottom."

"A performance like no other and will never see the likes of again.'" Beru looks up and smiles. "Oh…well…that does make one reconsider seeing the show."

Owen rolls his eyes.

"I'm surprised you got so many seats filled in that theatre."

Beru turns to her husband.

"Oh, that was the performance where they plant an assassin in the theater to kill your character. It seemed so realistic…"

Owen grows impatient.

"Yeah, yeah turn the page a little faster, we don't have all day. Where are those kids? It will be bedtime soon."

"Oh, they're playing outside. They'll be in soon. I reminded them."

Meanwhile, Li-An and Alex wait for the farm droids to complete tilling the sand with the soil mixture he received in the box. Alex looks inside a small envelope he is holding.

"Is this going to be enough?"

"It's plenty. Let's hurry before Aunt Beru starts calling for us." He imitates her. They laugh.

The children empty the contents of their envelopes into the tilled sand. The farm droids travel over the area dispensing even droplets from the titanium capsules. There is a lot of area to cover and time is ticking away. The suns are almost set when the children hurry back to the house.

For the past hour and a half, Palpatine has a captive audience as she shows off his theatre scrapbook. Beru looks at the clock n the wall above the limestone fireplace. She shoves the cover of the scrapbook aside leaving Owen with the old thespian. She hurries outside to the courtyard.

"I have to bring in the children; Anakin will never forgive us for leaving them out so late. Li! Alex! Ana-Lena?"

"Yes, Aunt Beru?" Li-An stands high above and looks over to the edge. He sees his Aunt Beru standing in the main courtyard

"Come in, it's getting late. You can play tomorrow."

"Okay."

The children file into the courtyard and into the house. Beru notices a trail of damp footprints on the steps that lead inside. She looks up at the sky as it becomes populated with stars. There is no time to check out why there are wet footprints in the sand. She goes into the house and helps the children get ready for bed.

Owen leaves the sofa where Palpatine held him hostage with that ridiculous scrapbook. He and Beru look in on the children. He joins her in saying goodnight to them.

Palpatine stops by soon after then leaves. He returns about thirty minutes later and pokes his head in the bedroom window. He whispers.

"Psst….Li? Li-An?"

A small head pops up and looks at him.

"I'm Alex. What do you want?"

"Why are you sleeping in Li-An's bed?"

"It's not Li-An's bed, it's Ana-Lena's bed."

"Why are you in Ana-Lena's bed?"

"She's in my bed."

"Where's Li-An?"

Another head pops up in the window.

"I'm right here. What do you want?"

Palpatine looks at the two boys.

"So, how did it go?"

"Great; But we need to go back tomorrow. There's lots more work to do."

"I was thinking…could I join you on your little project?"

"Well….we still need a lookout."

"I need your help, son… 'Auntie Em and Uncle Fester aren't exactly a barrel of laughs. I know I'm being punished and for good reason, but being stuck with them all evening is inhumane."

"Let me think it over. Thanks for your help tonight."

"This is going to turn out to be a good summer after all, isn't it?"

"I believe it will be. Good night."

"Did Ana-Lena say her prayers?"

"Yes. We all did."

"Splendid. Goodnight, boys."

"Goodnight, Palps."

The old man shuffles back to his sleeping quarters. Owen is sitting up in bed watching the late night farm report while Beru reads the latest issue of 'Moisture Farm Living' magazine. On the cover is an image of a middle-aged man and woman. A Vaporator stands tall behind them in the distance. The man holds a vaporator capsule.

During the night, there is a mysterious glow over the Lars farm.

For the next few nights, the children go out to play as usual until dusk. Palpatine continues to stay close by the house to make sure to keep Owen and Beru busy.

Owen watches the children take off with their gear. Ana-Lena trails behind, carrying her doll and a watering can. Beru is bringing in the wash when she sees the 'youngling' entourage passing her in the courtyard.

"Where are you going, dear?"

"We're going to play. I'm going to sing. We're sand farm…"

Li-An grabs her and pulls her along before she discloses their top-secret plans.

"Come on!"

Beru smiles.

"Well, you children hurry back. We're having supper early."

"Okay."

Owen goes to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of Bimmisaari iced tea from a can. There's no use making it from scratch. Doing so would mean drinking up the profits and pissing them away. Water was reserved for washing, cooking and the WC.

He tosses the empty can in the recycling bin. He notices how quiet is has been in the past few days.

"What are those kids up to? I bet they're getting into mischief."

Beru turns to him as she sorts the clothes.

"They're just playing. Owen, what trouble could they possibly get into?"

"They look for trouble, it will come."

The children resume their project. Ana-Lena strolls behind the boys and sings softly as she holds her doll in one arm and the watering can in the other.

They don't have much time so Li-An proposes they go back to the house then return after Beru and Owen go to bed.

After dinner, Owen sends them off to bed. As soon as Ana-Lena goes to sleep, the boys slip out into the night. The droids and Palpatine meet them upstairs, just outside the courtyard. They bring their sleeping bags with them.

It is too late to return to their rooms so they decide to sleep in the garage. Li-An plays with a model TIE fighter to wile away the time. Li-An and Alex share a sleeping bag. They offer the Li-An's to Palpatine. The boys will have to slip back to the house at dawn when Beru is starting breakfast. Palpatine is pleased to be invited to join the boys in their clandestine adventures.

"I sure hope that ungrateful Owen sees the good you boys have done. We did a good thing, didn't we?"

Li-An is tired. Owen was right. Life on a Tatooine farm is tough. He sacrifices this entire first week to work on his secret project. He barely spent time on that new swing set. He sets the toy down and looks across at the other sleeping bag.

"Yeah, I suppose." He rubs his eyes and yawns. Alex is already fast asleep.

The droids have shut down with the exception of Skippy who is on snooze control. The dog is programmed to wake up at any sign of distress from the children. Anakin put a lot of thought into planning this summer vacation. He has taken the necessary precautions. Skippy is curled up at the top of the sleeping bag near the boy's heads. His fixed gaze is unsettling to Palpatine. He swears the dog will kill him in is sleep.

Li-An nods. "Good night, Palps." He drifts off to sleep.

Dawn comes at 5:55. Owen knocks on the bedroom door where the children are supposed to be sleeping.

"Children, it's time for breakfast. Wake up in there."

He does not get a response. Just as he is about to open the door, he is called into the living room. He stands in the doorway of the living room with his arms folded across his shoulders.

"What is it?"

Palpatine smiles sheepishly.

"Good morning, Owen. I was wondering if you came across a pair of reading glasses. I may have left them here the other night when we were enjoying that delightful conversation about moisture harvesting. I wanted to talk to my agent about the possibility of doing a play about a farm family such as yourselves…"

He sneaks a glance outside the window and watches as the boys scurry across the courtyard and climb into their bedroom window. He makes certain Owen is distracted long enough so that the boys get safely inside. Owen stares at the old Sith as if he is crazy. Owen is losing patience.

"I can't say I have seen your glasses. If I come across them, I'll be sure to hand them over to you."

Palpatine smiles then walks over to the farmer.

"Oh! No need to…no need to…I see them. Owen, you are amazing setting them on the mantle for me so they won't get stepped on. Thank you, thank you so much! I must remember to tell Anakin how well you have taken care of me and the children."

"But I didn't…"

Beru calls Owen.

"Owen, what's taking you so long? Come to breakfast. We've been waiting."

Owen and Palpatine file into the kitchen. The children are at the table, their hands folded, ready to say the morning blessing. They smile and greet the two men.

"Good morning Uncle Owen; Good morning Gramp Palps."

"Morning."

Palpatine smiles.

"Good morning Beru, children. You look so bright-eyed today. You must have slept like angels."

"We did."

Owen picks up his fork. Beru looks across the table.

"Owen, we haven't heard from you in awhile. Why don't you do the honors and say grace this morning?"

"Yes, please Uncle Owen?"

Palpatine smiles slyly.

"Yes, you have such a command of the language and know just the right prayer for this occasion." He dutifully folds his hands.

Owen wants to slug the old man but he dips his head and begins the prayer.

"Oh heavenly gods of the harvest. Thank you for these gifts to give us the strength to work hard like the dutiful servants we are. Bless this food. Amen."

Alex quietly speaks. It seems like a childish game between the three youngsters. They are grading Owen's performance.

"Seven."

Ana-Lena smiles and speaks next.

"Six."

Li-An rolls his eyes as he shows his disagreement.

"What? It's a 'Five'."

Beru smiles and looks at the children with great curiosity.

"What's a 'five', Li-An?"

"Oh…we're just playing a math game. My dad says just because we're on vacation from school doesn't mean we have to be stupid all summer."

"Your father is a wise man."

After an uneventful breakfast, the children help around the house. Owen gets a call on the phone. The Lars rarely get calls.

"Hello? Yeah, hi, Fred…what? Have you been hitting the Juri juice again? We did our harvest almost a week ago…no I haven't been up there. There's nothing to see…ohh…alright…I'll be up. Give me a few minutes."

He hangs up the phone. Beru walks over to him as he grabs his sun hat.

"What is it, Owen?"

"It's crazy old Fred Ziffel…says there's something going on up near the vaporators. Says I need to go up and see what's going on."

"Shall I be worried?"

"No…Ziffel's probably having another breakdown after his disastrous last harvest. I'll be back."

Owen disappears upstairs. The children are playing in the courtyard. Ana-Lena sings the song she sang the night before while she and her brothers were out on the farmland.

_'Help the farmer as he sows _

_First, he digs into the ground _

_Then he plants some seeds around _

_Many flowers he then grows' _

Li-An stores his gear in a storage room. The children sense something is going on when they sense that other people are on the Lars property. Just as he steps into the courtyard he hears the voices from above. Alex and Ana-Lena look up towards the opening. Ana-Lena looks at her brother.

"Something's happening."

"Li-An!" Owens's voice is loud and angry. When he goes to see what his uncle wants, his siblings follow. Li-An steps out of the doorway and up the steps. She sees a crowd about 30 yards away.

Owen is arguing with some men. Li-An recognizes them as farmers from nearby. Owen is on the defensive.

'"I'm telling you I had nothing to do with this…"

"You've got a lot of explaining to do, Owen Lars. How did you get so much water?"

Owen turns and sees Li-An walking in his direction.

"You'll have your answer in a minute. Boy, come over here. " He points in the direction of what was once a desolate dry, moisture farm. "Explain."

"You needed water…so I helped."

"How?"

"I can't tell you."

"Did you steal?"

"No."

Farmer Joe Carson was moving kind of slow as he scratched his head and eyeballed the Lars farm.

"Looks like your boy gave you some luck, Owen. So you're going to be keeping this good fortune all to yourself?"

Li-An sees the angry band of farmers. Palpatine catches up to discover the farm mob. Li-An tries to get Owen's attention.

"Uncle Owen, can I say something?"

"What?"

The boy pulls him aside. They whisper for a few minutes after Owen changes his attitude. He scratches his head then has the farmers gather around.

"Okay, here's what I can do. My nephew says we can resolve this. You can each have a bucket full of the enriched sand soil for 25 credits. We'll come out to your farms and teach you how to use it. When your crops come in, you can take them to the market."

"What's that field over there with the tall grass?"

Li-An answers since Owen has no idea what is growing on his property.

"It's called corn."

Another farmer, just arriving after hearing the news, walks over from the field nearby. He is holding up something that resembles a green bowling ball or giant marble.

"Hey, Lars, what's this?"

Li-An whispers to his Uncle

"Emerald melon."

"Emerald melon."

"Is it good?"

Li-An opens up a mini saber used by Jedi farm botanists. He slices the melon. Each of the farmers takes a sample. It is a refreshing taste that cools their tempers on such a warm day.

"How much you want for it?"

"I'll give you four for 5 credits each."

Li-An calls out to the new customers.

"Save the seeds."

Palpatine and Owen go to the garage and return with a folding table. They are better able to manage the customers driving by to purchase the fresh produce. A patrol speeder drives up to the Lars Homestead. Two sand troopers from the Anchorhead-Mos Eisley Highway Patrol (AMhIPs) walk over to Owen.

"Good morning, Sir."

"Good morning, officers."

The officers inspect the produce table after noticing the changes landscape on the Lars farm. The sandy soil is now saturated with water with rows of crops covering at least 10 acres of the land. Several young fruit bearing trees line the perimeter of the farm.

One of the officers speaks into his radio to the dispatcher while the other chats with Owen.

"Nice little farm you have here Mr. Lars. You got a permit to raise these crops?"

"Uh…well officer…We weren't sure anything would grow…it's pretty new…" He watches as the troopers look at the three children sitting at the makeshift produce stand.

Palpatine is wearing sunglasses and a straw hat. He attempts to shield the children. The office looks at Li-An and his siblings. The droids observe with caution. Li-An signals Skippy to stand back. There is a low growling coming from the droid dog. The officer continues to check out the family.

"You know you need a permit to have children working out here, Mr. Lars, sir?"

"Well, they're just having a little fun… they're actually on vacation…." Owen is getting nervous and so is Beru.

"I'm going to have to write you a ticket, Mr. Lars…"

Li-An pushes in front of his aunt and uncle. He waves his hand.

"This farm is up to code...there's no need to write a ticket…everything looks fine here…"

The officer repeats after him.

"This farm is up to code...there's no need to write a ticket…everything looks fine here…"

Li-An continues.

"Why don't you take these melons and bushel of peaches and call it a day."

"Why don't we just take these fine melons and bushel of peaches and call it a day? No harm no foul."

Alex waves his hand in front of the officer on the radio.

"Eighty-six this call…nothing going on here…sorry for being a butthead Mr. Lars, Mrs. Lars. Children, Palps… Have a nice day."

The officer on the radio repeats after Alex.

"Eighty-six this call…over…nothing going on here…over…sorry for being a butthead Mr. Lars, Mrs. Lars. Children, Palps…Have a nice day."

Ana-Lena stands in front of the first trooper. She holds up her doll and sings. Before Li-An can say 'No', she start to speak to the sandtrooper.

"You want to be nice to us. Kiss the dolly. You're a pretty."

The trooper responds accordingly. His voice is off-key.

"_I want to be nice to you. I think I'll kiss the dolly. You're a pretty little girl."_

She waves goodbye. The officer waves back.

Li-An has one more request.

"I'll need the holo-recording from your vehicle."

The trooper complies.

"Why don't you take the recording from our vehicle?"

The trooper surrenders the recording from the patrol holocam to Li-An. They drive away. A bemused Owen runs his hands through his tousled graying hair. He looks at Li-An then pats the boy gently on his shoulder.

"Why don't you kids go play? There's actually a breeze today." He looks at the Eden around him. Palpatine volunteers to remain at the produce stand in case more customers arrive.

That day, Li-An is sitting on a swing in the courtyard enjoying a slice of sweet cool melon. He is finally enjoying his vacation. Alex is on the sliding board sending Ana-Lena's doll sailing down the slide.

"Alex, come back with my doll! I'm going to tell, Aunt Beru."

"Tell-smell…stop whining. Little Miss _'I want to do a Jedi mind control too!'_'"

"I wanted to help. Daddy said you have to play with me and let me help."

Li-An giggles as he mocks her.

"'Please officer, kiss my dolly.' We already messed with his head as it was…Let them leave with some sense of dignity. Geez."

'_**And up through the sand came a bubblin' spring'**_

That evening, for the first time in years, it rained on Tatooine, from Bestine all the way to Mos Espa and the Dune Sea. Isabel and Anakin sit on the balcony of their new hotel room as the rains came. The rain felt good. It smelled sweet. It is the best time ever. The first cloudy rainy day Anakin has ever experienced on Tatooine.

There was little rain over the Jundland Wastes but the after effect of hydrating the Lars Farm seeped into fissures in the rocky shelf hundreds of meters beneath the sand. The fissure leads to a fault line in deep underground caverns reaching the canyons. Many Krayt Dragons perished from drowning when water filled their sandy homes. The creatures are not known for their intelligence and never had the forethought to crawl out of the sand for air. Sand troopers had to bring in special equipment to dump the carcasses into a dry land when the rotting stench could be detected in nearby towns.

The unique ability of the Kamino water molecules to replicate themselves caused a bit of flooding but soon corrected itself. Owen was not thrilled about flooded courtyard. The Imperial Corps of Engineers had to run a pipeline throughout the populated areas of Tatooine to curbs the flooding issue. The days were still warm and the dual suns continued to rise and set but there was also the return of an occasional rainfall. New jobs are soon created and farmers continued to harvest moister but the vaporators were bigger and more efficient. No one wanted to take this new gift for granted.

'_**Well the first thing you know Owen's a millionaire'**_

With the new prosperity of farmers in the region came new problems, Jawas sneaking onto farms in the night to steal food. The only food that was ever taken were the sweet melons. Owen found that setting up a 'scare-tusken' on a pole is an effective deterrent. The 'scare-tuskens' are computer-operated and are buried in cylinders a meter underground. When an intruder is detected, the 'dummy tuskens' would pop up from the ground and startle the little thieves. On some days, when he is looking to have some devilish fun, Old Palps patrols the farm donning a hooded striped kaftan, scaring the bejesus out of the little critters.

'_**Swimming pools…Thermal Spas'**_

Owen was pulling in a steady and lucrative income from the crops. The Biggs supermarket chain bought 40 percent of its produce from the Lars Farm. Owen did not mind because a good portion of the Lars income came from its exports to the other star systems along the Outer Rim. Owen is bottling mineral water for sale, opening a chain of spas from Anchorhead to Mos Espa, and building a cement pond in his new backyard.

Anakin decides it is time to retrieve his young ones. During the last week of the children's visit, a remarkable thing happens.

Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru sit at the table with the children. The prayer of thanks is given.

"_We give thanks for all thy bounty. Thank you for all the work that went into this wonder harvest. Bless this meal we are about to share and thank the Lars for putting up with me. Please accept this prayer from this flawed old man. Amen"_

There is silence at the table. No walls implode, lightning does not strike, and the blue milk does not sour.

Aunt Beru smiles nervously.

"Well…wasn't that special?"

Ana-Lena smiles as she lifts her fork.

"I thought it was very nice, Gramp Palps."

Alex nods.

"It was pretty decent, Gramps. I think that was almost an apology."

Li-An nods in agreement.

"Keep it up, Gramp Palps, a few more times, the 'man upstairs' may take you at your word. Way to go."

Owen opens his linen napkin. Everyone looks at him. He releases a sigh.

"Uhm…Not bad. Thanks for manning the vegetable stand for the past few weeks."

"My pleasure. Sorry for trying to put a contract out on you eight years ago. No hard feelings, eh?"

"No…sorry for calling you a hack actor. I thought your play was pretty good."

"Why thank you, Owen. I'm touched."

Li-An turns to his brother and makes a 'gag reflex' expression with his finger. Aunt Beru catches him and gives him a disapproving but loving glance. Li-An blushes then takes a bite out of his herb-buttered corn on the cob.

The summer wasn't so bad after all. The children accompany Owen to the farmers market in Mos Espa to deliver some of the fruits and vegetables. They even meet some of the local children. The time with Owen and Beru will soon be over and their parents will return to pick them up in two days.

Anakin and Isabel arrive to pick up their children and the droids. The children are playing on the swing set and riding their bikes. They run to their parents as soon as they hear them descending the stairs.

"Mom, Dad! We're so glad to see you. We miss you!"

They smother their parents with hugs and kisses. Anakin looks at them.

"You kids don't look the worst for wear. Did you have fun?"

Ana-Lena is excited to tell everything.

"Yes. We made a vegetable garden and we had corn almost every night…not because we had to but because it was fun and we helped to make it. Oh, Mommy, you should have seen Palps, he was so funny. He helped us sneak out late at night to plant the vegetables."

Anakin holds his daughter and listens to the amusing stories.

"Well, that's what your Palps does best…sneak."

Li-An chimes in.

"Yeah…that's for sure."

Alex confesses to his father.

"We had a bit of a flood though."

Anakin grins.

"I know…I heard."

"Oh, I forget, you know everything."

"I sure do. I understand your brother is responsible for sending you with the supplies."

"I know. Luke is awesome!"

"Yeah, I'm going to let him know how awesome he's been while I was out of town. Are you ready to leave?"

"Yes."

"You don't want to spend another couple of weeks with Beru and Owen?"

"We want to spend time with you and Mom."

"Okay. Let's thank Beru and Owen for putting up with you."

The children hug Beru and Owen. Anakin takes Owen aside.

"So, how did everything go?"

"It was fine, really. The kids were great. They're their own little free spirits. Beru and I enjoyed every minute. The old man was pretty useful. He was okay."

"Thanks for putting up with him. He's not easy to control sometimes."

"These kids are full of energy. They're smart. Are you sure they don't want to be farmers?"

"They like it as a game. I don't see farming in their future."

"Just kidding. This farming crops was actually a good thing. I 'm pulling in money like you wouldn't believe. I've actually hired some farmhands to help with the harvest and some transporters."

"I'm glad to hear it. You actually look peaceful, Owen. Well, we had better be on our way. We promised Obi-Wan we would stop by."

"He never stopped by to visit the kids."

"Actually, he wasn't at his home on Tatooine. He had to return to Coruscant for an emergency Jedi Council meeting."

"Well, until next time, Anakin."

"Until next time. Thanks again."

The children wave goodbye again to Beru and Owen. The droids file into the vehicle.

"Thank the maker, Artoo. We're finally getting off this horrible farm."

Artoo chirps back.

"Owen was trying to leave me out in the fields on purpose so those horrible Jawas could pull my limbs apart. Of course, I wasn't effective. I'm an attractive droid. I wasn't made to scare people!"

Palpatine loads the children's luggage into the rental YUV. Anakin walks up and stuffs Palpatine's things into the vehicle. The old man did not expect to come along. Anakin turns and waves him onboard.

"Come on; let's go…we don't have all day."

Palpatine hops onboard. He sits with the children in the back.

The children sing a song they made up during their stay. Isabel falls asleep in the front passenger seat. She is glad to have her children back. Anakin has to endure several encores before reaching the Mos Eisley expressway. Palpatine acts as the music conductor as he encourages them. Anakin wants to scream. It is the best sound he has heard during the trip.

There's a hole in the bottom of the sea,

There's a hole in the bottom of the sea,

There's a hole,

There's a hole,

There's a hole in the bottom of the sea.

There's a smile, on the worm,

on the horn, near the wart,

on the back, of the head,

on the scales of the kraytdragon,

in the cave, in the sand in the hole in the bottom of the sea.

If there is any energy left in them, they should be fighting with each other soon.


	139. Chapter 139 Uncle Ben's Pleasure Palace

_Chapter 139_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Drawn Together'_

'_Sith Shoe Diary'_

'_Your Pole-Twirling Days Are Over' _

'_What an incredible smell you've discovered!'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

After the fifth time listening to them sing that annoying song, Anakin cannot take it anymore.

"If I have to listen to that song again I'm going to throw all of you out by the side of the road."

Ana-Lena looks into the rearview mirror at her father.

"Awww, Daddy, why would you do that?"

"I'm thinking I didn't miss you so much after all."

Ana-Lena smiles.

"Yes you did, Daddy. I just know it."

"Yeah…well…this is the end of the line. You kids have annoyed me for the last time. Get out of my car. This is going to be a drive-by drop-off…go on, the meter's ticking."

He slows down and stops. The children think that he may be serious until they see someone outside to greet them. They undo their seat belts and file out of the vehicle like a wild band of Jawas.

"Uncle Ben! It's you!"

"Hello, children. How was your visit with Beru and Owen?"

"Okay. We brought some fruit and vegetables for you."

"Oh, you children were busy weren't you?"

"Yeah…after Owen got tired of yelling and stuff. We worked for the better good."

"How commendable."

"Who else is here?"

"What makes you think there's anyone with me?" Obi-Wan smiles then gives the children a wink. Ana-Lena runs into the house. Her brothers follow. The happy sounds of children screaming can be heard from inside.

"It's Krisi!" Ana-Lena is thrilled to see her baby brother again. Li-An laughs.

"Aww…man…Kris, Nana got you good."

Palpatine sets the crate of melons in the driveway. He looks at the domed dwelling.

"Ani, Should we start unloading the YUV now?"

"No…we'll get what we need later. Come on, Obi-Wan's not going to bite. Come one inside."

Palpatine hesitates for a moment.

"Okay, I'll just get my tote bag and the children's toys."

"Forget about that."

Anakin and Isabel enter the house. He presses the button on the YUV remote. Aunt Bunny is there along with Isabel's parents. Anakin laughs and takes the baby. He smothers him with kisses.

"What's your grandmother got you wearing this time?" He looks at the white sailor romper. "Let's get you out of this thing." He looks at his mother-in-law. "What were you thinking, Mom?"

"I think he looks adorable."

"Right…" He strips the child down to his shirt and diaper then lets him down on the floor. The child works his way around the room. "Hey, Obi-Wan, is this place baby proofed?"

"It's safe, Anakin. There's nothing here to harm the tots."

"What about reading material? Three of them are in school you know."

"Give me a moment."

Obi-Wan goes from room to room removing any 'questionable literature.'

Isabel looks around as Bunny gives her the grand tour.

"Benji, suge, I'm going to give Isabel the grand tour."

Anakin looks at his former master with a goofy smile on his face.

"Grand tour? You rearranged the furniture in this dump?"

"Oh, I redecorated. You need to see the extra rooms I added on since you were last here. There's a pool in the back on the terrace."

Anakin chuckles.

A pool? On the terrace?"

"What's so odd about that, Anakin? It's actually a deck. Yes, I did some remodeling to this old shack."

The children run into the master bedroom. Alex walks through the house as if he is on a museum tour.

"Luke says there's a jelly bed in here."

"Yah…there is one…there is one!"

"Wow! A real jelly bed."

Aunt Bunny smiles and runs her fingers through Alex's hair.

"Aha-ha! Suge, do you mean a waterbed?"

"You mean there's no jelly in it?"

"Oh, this is better than 'jelly', honey. That old bed is long gone. Benji and I wore that thing out years ago. Take a look." She flips a switch and the Kamino King sized bed begins to rotate on a platform. A floor to ceiling pole also revolves on the platform.

Alex is amazed.

"Whoa!"

"Want to see something cool, Babe?"

"There's more?"

Aunt Bunny flips a switch on a remote control. The lighting changes and the ceiling opens up to reveal constellations. Another button changes to flashing lights like the ones in the Outlander Club on Coruscant. Another switch displays a holograph of crashing waves like the ones on Kamino. Music plays in the background. The velvet-voiced tones of a male singer can be heard over the speakers. Soon a chorus of singers joins him as the music swells. A mirror ball drops from the ceiling and twinkling lights fill the room

_**Up to now we sailed through every storm**_

_**and I've always had your tender lips to keep me warm**_

_**oh I need to have the strength that flows from you**_

_**don't let me drift away my dear, when love can see me through**_

_**Our love is like a ship on the ocean**_

_**we've been sailing with a cargo full of, love and devotion**_

_**So I'd like to know where, you got the notion**_

_**said I'd like to know where, you got the notion**_

_**To rock the boat, don't rock the boat baby**_

_**rock the boat, don't tip the boat over**_

_**rock the boat, don't rock the boat baby**_

_**rock the boat-t-t-t-t**_

Ana-Lena and her brothers watch in awe. Li-An smiles.

"Awesome! I know where I'm sleeping tonight."

Alex watches the bed revolve.

"How many speeds does it have?"

Ana-Lena runs out of the room to get her parents. Someone else has just arrived.

"Mommy, Daddy, you have to come see. Uncle Ben has a big carousel ride in his room. It's like Ewokland in here!" She sees Leia and Han walk through the front door. "Leia! You're back! Hi Han!" She leaps in her sister's arms. Leia is thrilled to see her.

"Hey! How are you doing! How was your vacation with Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru?"

"It was nice. They need kids at their house all the time. Maybe Owen won't yell so much. Are you going to visit with Uncle Ben too?"

"We'll be around."

"Great. Are you going to jump on the carousel jelly bed with us?"

"I don't think so. I've outgrown those days."

Ana-Lena is a bit disappointed that her big sister will not be joining them on the revolving bed.

Han, however, is intrigued.

"Jumping up and down on a waterbed? Hmmm… I'd like to see that."

"In your dreams, mister. My days of jumping on beds are over."

"Not necessarily. Let's think this through."

"Forget it, Han, You're married now. Your days of fun are over. Married people don't do such things."

"Why? Because some woman is going to dictate to her husband how much he can enjoy himself in their bed? I'm starting to feel sorry for your dad."

"My dad is just fine. Don't feel sorry for him. Being married is heaven for him."

"Leia, there's a pole in there. '_Father Time'_ sure knows how to have a fun if the rest of us don't. That's all I have to say."

The children change into their swimsuits. The cool water is a great relief after being stuck on a boring moisture farm. Obi-Wan kept in mind that the children would be visiting. He and Bunny stopped by the 'Huff's Grocery and Home Goods Superstore' in Mos Espa and spent an hour grabbing every inflatable pool toy available. Li-An takes the silver and blue inflatable star destroyer with the dual ray-gun squirters. He is wearing a pair of flippers and a scuba mask. Alex likes the curly orange and purple space slug. Ana-Lena enjoys relaxing on the blue and yellow floating mat that resembles a wave. She and Leia relax in their big sister-little sister ruffled bikini sets, wearing sunglasses. Li-An sneaks up on the and squirts them with the 'water blaster.' Leia leans over and shakes her finger at him.

"Why you little monster! Come over here, Blondie, so I can strangle you."

"Come over, so you could harm me? Now why would I do a dumb thing like that?"

"You have a point….so tell me, demon child, what mischief have you been up to while you stayed with Owen and Beru?"

"He sure is grumpy. He didn't yell so much when he started making money from all the people driving by."

"So you did something constructive with your time I see."

"Yep! Yoda says I'm going to do great things. I think I've made a good start so far."

"Yeah, getting into trouble…and stop aiming that water blaster at me!"

"What happened to you? You used to be fun before you got married."

"I'm loads of fun."

"How much fun could you be having? All you and Han do is suck face all day long. Blecch!"

"So…you miss me, eh?"

"Sort of…" Li-An examines his scuba goggles and acts indifferent as his sister speaks to him. "I suppose…"

"Don't worry; I'll still be around to check up on you every so often."

"Promise?"

"Of course…now turn that blaster around."

"I'll catch you later."

"You should take a cue from Alex. Look how well Alex is behaving…where did he go…?" Just as she turns, Alex blasts her with his proton torpedo super soaker. The blast of water knocks Leia off her floating mat. She struggles to hang on but it is useless. Her neatly pinned hair is in her face. Ana-Lena points an accusing finger at her brother.

"Oooh…Alex…"

Leia gasps for air and wipes her face. She starts to swim after her brother. Alex scrambles out of the water as Leia goes after him.

"Dad, did you see what he did?"

Anakin is sitting in a deck chair chatting with Obi-Wan. He does not seem too concerned.

"Boys…play nice…"

Isabel decides to round up the little ones.

"Hey, wild ones, how about a nap before supper?"

"Do we have too?"

"Yes. Out of the water."

Obi-Wan lets the children sleep in the master bedroom. Isabel thinks that this is a mistake.

"Obi-Wan, you'll be sorry."

"They're too exhausted to get into any mischief."

Meanwhile, Isabel makes the children get out of the pool to take a nap. They children are left to sleep for a few hours while the adults sit poolside. Isabel, Aunt Bunny, and Ouisanne chat as they sit around the patio table talking about wedding dresses and flipping through fashion magazines. Leia and Han cozy up on a chaise on the other side of the pool.

Anakin sits with the baby on his lap. Nakai and Obi-Wan sit nearby. Obi-Wan looks at the baby.

"What does it take to knock that kid out for a few hours?"

"Maybe if I spike his sip cup with some of that Caamas you're drinking."

"Shame on you, Anakin."

"It would have been worth a try. So…I see it didn't take them long to scheme. Are you ready to take the plunge as one of the chosen?"

"Chosen?"

"You heard me. It's only a matter of time before you'll be taking the 39 steps to the altar."

"We were doing just fine until the women of the 'matrimony coven' got their clutches into her. It's all she talks about now. If I didn't love her so much, I would kill her."

"Well, you are getting married, aren't you?"

"Yes but there will be no wedding."

"So, you're getting married?"

"I only said they'll be no wedding."

"You're not making any sense."

"Look at Leia and your new son-in-law over here. All cuddled up like two lovebirds. Why don't you go chat with them?"

"Not after what you just said!"

'_**Han Solo and the Temple of Doom'**_

Anakin gets that creepy chill up his spine whenever he sees his eldest daughter and 'nerfherder' in their public display of affection. All that groping and kissing and half-naked no less! He thought he was used to this he has to face it. But it's legal and they can do this wherever and whenever they like. He cannot interfere. _'Look at them over there…mauling each other.' _

After a few minutes of having to witness this shameful display of affection, he sees his daughter come up for air. Leia leaves the chaise and joins Isabel and the other women to discuss the wedding apparel. Han is alone. Anakin hands the baby to Obi-Wan.

"Hey, Solo, what are you doing over there by yourself? Come join us. This is no time to be antisocial."

Han raises his hand to acknowledge his father-in-law then makes his way over.

"Hey, Mr. 'S'. How's it hanging?"

"None of your business. What kind of question is that to ask me?"

"It's an expression…I meant no offense…"

"Relax, Solo, I'm just yanking your chain…so to speak. Have a seat…be part of the family."

Nakai is reading the pod racing results. He chuckles behind the newspaper. Anakin knows that his father-in-law is laughing at him. He recalls that he and Nakai got off on a rocky beginning. Now they can both look back and laugh about it.

Han eagerly accepts the invitation.

"Thanks." He sits at the table by the pool. Neither man knows quite what to say. Anakin does not want to know any details about the honeymoon. Han does not say a word. Leia is chatting with the women telling them everything. Anakin immediately grabs the baby back from Obi-Wan and mimics the tot's chatter. If he continues this, he can filter out the information he does not want to hear.

"Bababaaaaba…mamama…yayayayah!"

Leia keeps talking and the women continue to ask her questions. Ouisanne wants to hear all about the newlyweds.

"So, Leia how was the honeymoon? Where did you go?"

"We went to Yavin4. We stopped on the way to watch the Corphelion Comets but Han didn't plan on the resort to be totally booked. We wound up watching from the crowded observation deck with a million other spectators. I was so glad when we arrived on Yavin4. We were on the north side of the beach. It was gorgeous. Han and I slept in for most of the day sleeping in. The sun was really intense…We didn't come out to the beach until late in the afternoon."

As Leia goes on about her honeymoon and walking topless on the beach, Anakin gets louder with the baby in an attempt to drown out their yapping. Aunt Bunny listens attentively.

"Sounds like you had a great time, Hon."

"It was so romantic. Bunny, you and Obi-Wan should go there for your honeymoon."

Obi-Wan hears this and decides to vocalize with the baby too. Anakin is momentarily distracted so Obi-Wan sits with Nakai and plays 'peek-a-boo' with the baby. This is good for Kris because he has stereo entertainment. He laughs uncontrollably.

Anakin stares at Han. He thinks back on the day of his daughter's wedding. He could not believe Han and Leia took off on their honeymoon in that rusted tin can he calls a ship. The ship was an embarrassment. _'__She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts.'_ Who the heck is he kidding?Anakin angrily snaps open a newspaper he finds on the patio table.

Before the couple left the reception for their honeymoon, the kids tied recycled escape pods to the back of the ship along with the required: 'Just Married' banner. Anakin was waiting for the newlyweds to acknowledge the gift he had delivered to their new home.

Han turns to watch the children playing in the pool but they have gone inside already. The pool toys float eerily in a circle. He stuffs his hands inside the pockets of his cargo shorts walks over to his father-in-law.

"Hey."

"Solo." Anakin does not put down the paper.

"Mr. 'S'…Mr. Skywalker…sir, I wanted to thank you for the great wedding gift you gave us. It was beautiful. You're so generous after giving us such a lavish wedding. We really appreciate it."

Anakin lowers the paper.

"Well, apparently not. You arrived here in that tin can you love so much. It's not exactly a vintage ship. I haven't seen it on IBAY. I sure hope my daughter got her tetanus shot before boarding that thing. There must be at least 10 health code violations onboard."

Ha tries to come up with a good excuse about why he did not use the new ship. What he says does not make things any better.

"I apologize for not thanking you properly or sooner…we sent you a 'thank you' note but thanking you better in person is better. Don't you think? But we… _'I'_ was going to thank you for it…honest!"

Anakin stares at his 'number one nerfherder son-in-law'. He has heard enough. Han's excuses are pitiful. He raises his hand.

"Han, stop talking before you hurt yourself."

"Uhmmm…okay….I apologize."

Anakin flashes a smile. He thinks for a moment as he looks at the ground.

"This is too easy."

"I beg your pardon, sir?"

Anakin stands.

"Han, it's okay…we're okay…everything's fine." He extends his hand to his new son-in-law. He can be the bigger man and accept Han's heartfelt albeit half-witted apology. Han begins to relax too as Anakin continues to smile. "Welcome to the family."

"Gee, thanks…so…what's next? Do I call you 'Dad' now?"

"One step at a time, Han. Let's not get over-confident now."

"Okay…I feel like I'm part of the family already."

"Great"

There is an awkward moment when they seem uncertain what to do next. Anakin looks around. They are still in a 'handshaking mode'.

"Yeah…Sooo... how about this weather we're having? Hot enough for you?"

"It's a scorcher alright."

Han tries to keep the conversation going. He notices Anakin's new sandals. Han's bad judgment calls will come back to bite him in the 'axis.' His reckless style is like a runaway boulder…fast and bound for disaster.

"Hey, you got new sandals. Lando was going to buy a pair like those online. That's one thing you don't get caught dead wearing. Anyway, I told Lando only Jedi monks and hippies wear them… He finally listened to reason when I reminded him that he was voted _'Most Stylish Man_ _of the Year'_ in _'Galactic Male'_ magazine. It's on him if he wants to look like a total dork….uhm…but yours are cool…you can probably get away with all sorts of fashion faux pas and stuff…being the Dark Lord and stuff…they…look nice…really…uhm …Mr. 'S', could you please let go of my hand…my arm is getting numb…"

Anakin is no longer smiling. He is seething. After giving Han one chance after another, Anakin feels as if he has been kicked in the teeth. Han slowly drops to his knees as Anakin's grip tightens. Someone yells at them.

"Will you two stop fooling around?"

Isabel sprays the two men with Alex's water blaster. Anakin releases his grip and wipes the water from his face.

Several minutes later Leia sits with Han on one of the deck chairs. Bunny walks out of the house holding a blue ice pack. She wraps the long ice bag around Han's forearm.

Anakin is inside with Isabel. He is sitting in Obi-Wan's stylish leather recliner. It was a birthday gift from Aunt Bunny. She thought he deserved at least one piece of luxury furniture in his newly remodeled summer home. It is Obi-Wan's 'thinking chair' when he wanted to enjoy a pipe full of tobacco, listening to some sultry jazz and reading a good book on 'Traveling by Speeder' across Tatooine.

The chair is lowered into a full reclining position. There is a cool cloth on his forehead. Isabel pops two aspirin into his mouth and holds a glass of calming Chandrilan iced tea to his lips. Her mother brewed it fresh in Obi-Wan's new tea maker he got last Befana Eve. Anakin takes a few gulps before Isabel sets it on the coaster on the end table. He is too lazy to hold it himself. He pretends to be too stressed with guilt.

Isabel was hoping to have a relaxing family gathering away from a bustling Coruscant. She saw her husband calming down when he visited Mos Espa. He seemed to be at peace. Isabel is frustrated as she sits on the wood and leather ottoman beside his chair. She looks at him. There is a concerned look on her face.

"Anakin, what's going on?"

Anakin looks like a tortured animal as he speaks to his wife.

"Why doesn't he like me? I'm a good person. I'm a great person. People tell me everyday at the office how much they like me. Bel, you like me…don't you?"

"Don't be silly, of course I do, sweetie. I'm your wife. I love you unconditionally…It's in our wedding vows."

He gives her a dirty look.

"A simple yes would have sufficed."

"Don't snap at me. I'm on your side."

"Why is it so hard for him to like me? I put up with his wisecracks, I let him marry my daughter, I tolerate his wacky parents. I don't understand. You know what?" He shakes his finger. "I think he's out to destroy me. First he gets my daughter. She was an easy target because she thought I was treating her unfairly just because I didn't want her growing up…" He lifts his head to look around the room then whispers. "Is Bunny around?"

Isabel is feeling a tirade coming on. Her patience is waning. She tips her head in the direction of the deck then lets out a sigh.

"She's outside."

"Oh good. I don't like talking about people when they're in the room…anyway; I didn't want her to grow up to be a floozy."

"Who? Bunny?"

"No! She's got that area cornered. Stay with me on this, 'Bel! I didn't want Leia to be a floozy."

"But she's not…"

Anakin becomes agitated when he thinks he is not being heard.

"'Bel, all I ask is for you to keep up with me, okay?"

"Fine. Ramble on." She pulls out an emery board and files down a broken fingernail. She knows it is useless to argue with him on this, and he does not want to listen to her grad school mumbo jumbo about tolerance and looking within yourself for answers to your problems. Anakin continues his woeful rant. Isabel speaks without looking up. She answers with a few, _'uhm-hum's'_ and a nod. She draws in close to him. "Are we still whispering?" She continues to file her nails.

He gives his wife another dirty look.

"No! I don't care who hears me on this. He picks up where he left off. "So now, he's got his clutches on my daughter and then he worms his way into the family so he can get me when my defenses are down. That's when he goes in for the kill."

"It looked more like you were going in for the kill several minutes ago."

"That was a low blow, Isabel."

"I'm sorry. Please continue."

"Thank you. So, as I was saying, I was being my typical charming self and that's when he shot me down."

"Han shot first, eh?"

She continues filing her nails. A crooked smile forms across her face. Anakin is giving her another dirty look. He sees she is not taking him seriously.

"Don't push me, 'Bel."

"Anakin, He didn't shoot you down."

"Oh yes he did! He insulted me."

"He was trying to bond with you….alright, fine! What horrible thing did he say? Please tell me because right now you sound as if everyone is out to get you. People are too busy to worry about you."

Anakin begins to speak. His bottom lip quivers before he finally blurts out Han's _'offensive'_ remark.

"He said I was a dork!"

Isabel bites her bottom lip to avoid laughing. The laugh is winning. She turns her heard so he does not see the tears streaming down her face. She begins to laugh uncontrollably. She sees an image in her mind of her husband wearing thick unattractive glasses, unflattering clothing, with crew socks and…oh dear. Isabel knows what is bothering him but avoids mentioning it. He will never wear those sandals again if she says anything about them. She finally calms down from her laughing fit. Anakin sulks in the chair. She clears her voice and then speaks.

"I don't think he meant it, sweetie."

Anakin is speaking in a meek voice.

"Yes he did."

"Sweetie, you have to understand Han and his style of humor. It's not intended to hurt anyone. Listen, he called me a 'hot mother-in-law chick'."

"Well…you are."

"I guess…he said it in a sweet way so I wasn't offended. I guess I could have taken offense but I knew he was being complimentary."

"Did he call you a dork?"

"Of course not. Don't be silly."

"I thought not. You have no idea of the hurt I feel inside. I feel unappreciated. Do you know he didn't take the new ship on their honeymoon? They took that flying scrapheap."

"Leia explained that they wanted to fly in the ship that brought them together in the first place. It was no reflection on you or a sub of your gift. They wanted to save it for a special occasion. Besides, they want to christen it first. Leia is planning a launch party and we're invited."

"They told you and not me?"

"You never gave him a chance, Ani."

"Well…he didn't have to make fun of my shoes."

"I think your shoes are sexy."

"Really?"

"Yes. You have sexy feet. You should show them off by wearing attractive but functional footwear."

"So the kids weren't laughing at me during the drive from Mos Espa?"

"They're your children. They love you."

Ouisanne walks in quietly so as not to disturb him. She takes his empty glass.

"Anakin, darling, would you like anymore iced tea?"

"Oh, yes, please. Thanks, Mom."

"You're welcome. Dear. Nothing's too good for my favorite son-in-law." She pinches his cheek and smiles down at him. She leaves the room to refill his glass. Anakin looks over at his wife.

"Oh. Hey, Bel, can I borrow that emery board?"

"Sure."

'_**From A Different Point of View'**_

Han tells his side of the story to his new wife and Aunt Bunny.

"I feel horrible."

Leia rolls her eyes.

"Oh, stop it, Han. He didn't hurt you."

"I feel lightheaded and dizzy. That's what happens when your blood flow doesn't reach your brain."

"You should have used your brain before you upset him."

"Well, he's too sensitive! Lord of the Sith! Commander of the Imperial armed forces! Give me a break! He runs crying to Isabel every time he doesn't get his way. He's such a whiner."

"Han, you need to pace yourself when you're in a conversation with my father. It'll give you time to think before you speak."

"You want me to talk slower? Just because he can't take a compliment? I can't seem to catch a break with that guy. I try. Heaven knows I've tried. Listen...you hear that? He's got your mother laughing at me. He can do that you know. One wave of that Sith hokey-pokey voodoo hand of his and he's got her eating out of...of…his _hand_."

"Now you're being ridiculous. My Dad has been on his best behavior since our engagement all the way up to the wedding. I'm offended that you think so little of him that he would hurt you. You have to be nicer to him. Look how hard he has tried. He adores you, Han. What did you say to him?"

"It was nothing. He just overreacted." He rolls his eyes. "It's silly."

"Tell me."

Aunt Bunny slides a neck pillow behind his head. Han can see inside her bikini top.

"How's that feel, Suge?"

"Oh…this is nice. Thanks, Aunt Bunny."

"You're welcome. I'm sure all of this can be worked out. Ani loves you like a son. He's just the sweetest man. He has a nice word for everyone he meets."

Leia thinks for a moment then shakes her head. After Bunny makes this outlandish statement, Leia's focus is back on Han.

"So, what did you say that upset him so much?"

"Ok…here it goes…but I have to set it up or else you'll look at me in a bad light and then my life will be a living hell."

Leia is losing patience. She speaks to him between clenched teeth.

"Your life is about to become a living hell right now if you don't start talking."

"Alright!"

"I'm waiting."

Han barks back at her.

"I'm '_pacing'_ myself. Remember?"

"Speak!"

Han is being coy as he starts to explain.

"Let's just say…we were talking and I noticed his shoes…"

"Shoes, Huh?"

"You didn't notice?"

"I…I had feelings that he was wearing something new but I never really paid attention. Will you excuse me for a moment?"

Leia leaves the patio chair where is has been sitting. She enters the house. She sees her father lying back on the recliner as Ouisanne hands him a fresh glass of iced tea. She notices his white linen short-sleeved shirt, blue plaid madras shorts over nicely tanned legs and sandals. Anakin turns to say 'Hello.'

"Hey, princess...Come to check on your dad?"

"Yes, Daddy. How are you? Feeling better?"

"I'll be okay. Thanks for asking."

Leia remains standing in the doorway.

"I'll let you rest your fee….Take it easy."

"Okay."

She quietly slides the glass door closed and hurries back to the pool area. She sits quietly. Han turns to her.

"Did you see the _'shoes'_?"

"Han, don't you dare look at me."

A sly grin forms across Han's face. He lays back. Leia covers her mouth then buries her face in her lap. Han is enjoying this. He wags his finger at her.

"Dork, right?"

"Shut up, Han." She lifts her head revealing a beet-red face. Nakai walks by as he goes after an escaping baby. He sees Han and Leia laughing like children.

"You two are just horrible." He catches the baby then walks back to where he was sitting with Obi-Wan."Gee, it sure is quiet out here. The kids are napping. Anakin is inside…the old guy hasn't been making much noise. I thought he would be complaining up a storm by now…."

Leia thinks and turns her head.

"The children!"

Obi-Wan gets up and alerts Anakin. The Dark Lord was just getting comfortable in his self-pity mode. He almost falls out of the recliner in an effort to get to the bedroom where the three children are napping. The droids are alert. Skippy runs to the door and wags his tail. Threepio spins hysterically.

"What's happening? Oh, God! We're doomed, Artoo. The old man is back to destroy us all!"

Artoo whistles and chirps.

"What do you mean don't worry about it? What's to become of us and those poor children?"

Meanwhile everyone scrambles around the house. Skippy scratches at the front door. Anakin looks at him.

"You're not going outside to play we have to look for my old man."

Skippy continues to scratch at the door.

"Is he is the closet, Skippy? Is that what you're trying to tell me, boy?" Skippy looks frustrated that Anakin is not getting any of his clues.

Anakin runs into Obi-Wan's master bedroom and opens the closet. There are three designer suits, several pairs of jackboots from his earlier years as a Jedi Knight, some dress shoes, some dress shirts and ties. There is a dark blue holo album on the shelf. It is made of fine nuna leather. There is embossed writing on the cover entitled 'Joyous Moments with the Twins.' Anakin flips through the album and is surprised at what he finds. Skippy waits behind him and barks.

"Hold on, Skippy."

Someone calls him. It is Isabel. He slams the book closed.

"Anakin? Where are you?"

"What?" His tone is angry.

Isabel walks in the room.

"You have to come outside to the YUV."

He drops the album on the dresser.

"What is it.?"

"We've found him." She stops him for a moment. "Why are you so agitated all of a sudden?"

"I'll tell you later. We need to talk."

He follows his wife to the front door. Nakai and Obi-Wan are waiting at the vehicle. Anakin squints as he looks in the window. Isabel asks for the key. He stubbornly refuses to answer her.

"Anakin, unlock the door."

Anakin gives Skippy a disappointed look.

"He was out here all this time? Why didn't you go to the front door in the first place? What happened to those so-called hunting and search instincts of yours? Useless."

The droid dog looks insulted and trots away in a huff.

Ouisanne stands nearby.

"It must be at least 100 degrees in there."

Anakin unlocks the vehicle. Isabel takes the baby while Nakai and Obi-Wan pull the old man out and help him inside the house. The adults gather around Palpatine as Aunt Bunny and Ouisanne apply ice packs to his body. Anakin paces in front of him. The children wake up to the commotion. Li-An stares.

"What's going on…geez, Palps, what happened to you?"

Alex stands next to his brother rubbing his eyes. He yawns then points to the old Sith.

"Palps, why is your face all red on the side?"

The old Sith does not respond. He is dazed and confused. Ouisanne is about to apply a thick white cream to his head and right side of his face. Ana-Lena is the last to see the old man.

"Nana, what happened to Grand Palps?"

"Ohh... he's got a bit of sun poisoning." She carefully lathers the burn ointment over his skin.

Alex innocently asks the next question.

"Who poisoned him?"

Everyone looks at Anakin while Aunt Bunny unravels some sterile gauze.

"Your daddy didn't mean it, honey. Your Palpy was locked in the YUV."

Ana-Lena looks sad.

"Is Palps going to die?"

Li-An continues to stare at the old man as he directs the next comment to his father.

"Way to go, Dad."

"It was an accident!"

"Who's going to come to Tatooine with us during summer vacations and sell melons by the roadside?"

Ana-Lena is sobbing.

"Daddy killed Palp-Palp."

"I did not kill anyone…this month. He's not dead…not yet."

Alex watches a lethargic Palpatine slumped on the sofa.

"He sure looks dead."

The baby Kris claps his hands. Ana-Lena is sobbing uncontrollably. Anakin takes her in his arms and paces the room with her.

Aunt Bunny stands behind Anakin as he tries to console Ana-Lena. She follows Anakin as he walks back and forth. She still has the roll of gauze in her hands, holding out a strip of it like a tape measure. She tries to keep up with Anakin while walking in her sarong and gold leather slides with acrylic heel. She speaks to Ana-Lena.

"Your Daddy didn't mean it, honey. He had no idea your Palpy was in the car."

Ana-Lena is inconsolable.

"I taught him how to say grace and we were going to work on bedtime prayers ….so…so…so he can go to heaven." She chokes back tears.

Han hobbles over with his arm still in the cold pack sling. He whispers to Leia.

"Heaven? That's a stretch. He's going to have to do more than pray to get into heaven."

Leia squints at him.

"Shush!"

Han shrugs.

"I'm just saying…."

"Shush!"

Alex and Li-An look sad. Nakai gives Palpatine an analgesic with a glass of water. Leia and Isabel try to distract the children by taking them into the kitchen for ice cream but there are no takers. Han looks in the kitchen.

"Obi-Wan has ice cream? Man, 'Father Time' pulled out all the stops. Can I get some?"

Leia serves him two scoops of ice cream. Han returns to the living room to join the rest of the family as Palpatine gets first aid. Leia leaves Kris with Han who has no time to protest because he has a mouthful of ice cream. The baby stares at him.

"You want some of this? Don't your parents feed you?" The baby waits for Han to feed him. Han offers the baby one spoonful. Han is not forthcoming with the ice cream so the baby grabs the spoon and feeds himself from the bowl. "You're definitely a Skywalker alright. You're not shy."

After most of the excitement has died down, Anakin hands Ana-Lena to Nakai. Isabel is summoned to Obi-Wan's room. Anakin points to the holo album.

"What's this?"

"A holo album?"

"Can you explain it?"

"It's what you put images in for safekeeping."

"Don't get flippant with me. Why is it here?"

"Why are you asking me. I've never seen it before."

Leia walks in to get a clean shirt for Kris. She recognizes the album.

"Oh cool! Obi-Wan's holo album! He finally got organized."

Anakin looks at his daughter.

"You know about this?"

She flips through the pages.

"Sure! It's all the images of Uncle Ben, Luke, Isabel and me when we were younger. I think there may even be a few old images of you when you were our age. What's the big deal?"

"I never saw it."

"That's because Obi-Wan had them scattered all over so Luke and I pooled our money together to buy the album for his birthday. That was years ago. That was the same year Isabel gave us each a holocam for our twelfth birthday and we met at our favorite ice cream parlor and took tons of images."

Isabel folds her arms then storms out of the room. Leia realizes what has just happened. She rolls her eyes then shakes her head in disbelief.

"Oh, Daddy, really! It's not what you're thinking. You can be such an idiot sometimes. This time you have sunk to a new low. Now you're snooping around Obi-Wan's things? Unbelievable!"

She grabs the shirt then walks out of the room.

Isabel does not speak to her husband for the rest of the afternoon. Three chaise lounge chairs are lined up at poolside. Each chair is occupied by the physically and emotionally scarred: _'The Sith, The Corpse and the Mouthy.'_

A large umbrella shields them from the afternoon sun. Han is enjoying a fresh ice pack on his arm. It had stopped hurting an hour ago but he enjoyed the pampering from Ouisanne and Bunny so much it would be crazy to stop now. Palpatine is in the middle, recovering from a bad sunburn and dehydration. Ouisanne pours him a fresh glass of iced tea. Anakin is in the last chair. He has a cold compress on his forehead. Isabel wanted to slap him but decided against it. Anakin felt he needed a bit of attention too, so he feigned a headache. What he actually has is heartache for daring to mistrust his wife. Obi-Wan sits at the patio table showing the children all of the early images of their mother and the twins.

Anakin sees Isabel standing at the end of the deck facing the valley leading to the Jundland Wastes. She wonders if her marriage is a big waste when someone walks up behind her.

"I am a stupid man. I am so sorry. Please forgive me? I can't take your being angry with me."

"I shouldn't speak to you."

"I know but you have to keep me from being an idiot. You know how I am. I need supervision."

"You need to start seeing your therapist again."

"Will you come with me? Don't give me that look. I need someone to laugh with me when all the loser basket cases walk into the waiting room. It'll make me appreciate what a good life I have."

"I'm not joining you to make fun of emotionally unstable people."

"Come on." He nudges her. "I'll take you to the executive dining room for lunch so we can watch the Imperial officers eat. They're always fun to watch. What do you say?"

"Can we get the corner window table?"

"I'm Commander of the Imperial Military. Who's going to deny me that table?"

"You've got a point. They make nice salads. I liked the one with the champagne vinaigrette."

"Oh, that reminds me. I need to call Luke. Obi-Wan 'Kaboozie' might try to elope. "

"Really?"

"Really. So…if you ladies want to do something, you had better act fast."

Obi-Wan goes inside to put away the holo album. The children put on their swimsuits again and play in the pool. Nakai is starting the grill. Bunny and Ouisanne set the table near the pool. Anakin is pacing waiting for Luke to pick up the phone. He tried calling him using the Force but there is no response. From the corner of his eye he sees the baby walking over to him. He grabs him and walks over to the shallow end of the swimming pool. Anakin slips out of his sandals and immerses his feet in the cool water. He dunks the tot in the water while waiting for Luke to answer his mobile phone. Han watches from his chaise.

"What's he doing? I can't believe this guy has six kids. Is anybody watching him?"

Palpatine is still lathered in burn cream from his head to his arm on his right side. He struggles to handle his plastic tumbler of iced tea.

"He hasn't dropped one yet."

The children get out of the pool and run over to where Han and Palpatine are relaxing. Leia calls it the pity party seating area. Alex leans over the chair to examine the old man's blistered skin.

"Hey, Palps, why don't you come in the pool with us?"

"My dear child, the exposure to the harsh conditions in that vehicle has left me scarred and deformed, but I assure you my resolve has never been stronger."

Alex is perplexed as he listens to his grandfather ramble.

"Uh…Okay..."

Ana-Lena gently taps the old man's hand.

"Are you okay, Palps?"

He winces in pain.

"Ohh…don't worry about me…this will heal soon. Thank you for asking, my dear child."

Li-An examines the gauze around Palpatine's hand while Alex pokes at it.

"Are you in a lot of pain?"

"It's tolerable."

Alex pokes at it again.

"Are you going to cry?"

Ana-Lena looks in the old man's eyes.

"Want me to sing you a song?"

Alex keeps poking him to test his tolerance for pain. He was told that if there is no pain the limb would fall off. He hopes that nothing falls off of the old Sith. Li-An walks around the chaise slowly examining the other skin damage.

"When that stuff dries up, you're going to shed skin like a krayt dragon! That's going to look so cool."

Palpatine is becoming a bit claustrophobic as the children gather around him. A nervous smile forms across his face.

"Why don't you children go back in the pool and play?" He tries to gently wave them away. No one is moving.

Alex stays close to the chair.

"But we want to sit with you, Gramp Palps."

Han is hoping for some peace and quiet too. All the kiddie chatter and whining is testing his patience.

"Hey, kids…the old man's tired…I'll give you each 10 credits if you go back in the pool."

Li-An thinks for a moment.

"Our parents said we should never accept bribes."

"Twenty credits."

"Well…you are family…deal!"

Han digs in his pocket and pulls out three crisp 20 credit notes. The children disappear inside the house.

Anakin finally gets Luke on the phone. The baby is in his arms breathing into the phone when Luke picks up.

"Dad? Dad?"

"Luke?"

"Dad?"

"Yeah! It's me!"

"What's with the heavy breathing?"

"It's…never mind. Listen, you have to get out here."

"Why, what's up?"

"That crazy old wizard's going to elope on us."

"So? Maybe he doesn't want to make such a big deal about it."

"He's not going cheat us out of a party. I plan to throw him a wedding befitting a Jedi Knight of his stature."

"Dad, I can't get involved. I don't think this is what he wants." Luke does not get a response. This is a clear indication that his father is not going to accept _'No'_ as an answer. Luke makes a loud sigh and gives in. He knows his father is up to something. "Okay…when do you need me there?"

"As soon as you're finished at the Jedi Temple."

"Fine. I'll see you when I get there."

Everyone gathers around the table for a barbecued dinner. There is a cool breeze coming up from the Dune Sea. It will be dusk in an hour. The dinner for this evening is prime shaak steak, Kamino swordfish with Felucia mango and lime salsa. The children get duck strips, mustarfries, and a tossed green salad. There is also corn from the Lars farm.

After the meal, everyone is well fed and relaxed. Nakai plays 'bucking ronto' with Ana-Lena on his knee. She giggles and squeals as the 'bucking ronto' threatens to knock her off the saddle. Li-An and Alex pretend to be too old for such silly games. They actually loved it when they were her age. They focus on Obi-Wan who tells them about his adventures as a young Jedi Apprentice. Han figures he has a few tales of adventure to tell the boys as well. He tells them about his travels with his father to distant star systems. He tells them of the search for a great ancient ark in a remote part of Yavin4. The boys are mesmerized. Li-An has decided on a career change.

"Wow…awesome! I think that's what I want to do when I grow up!"

Han boasts proudly.

"Hang with me kid. I'll teach you all I know."

Anakin examines his fingernails and whispers to Obi-Wan.

"That should take all of five minutes."

Anakin rolls his eyes at these implausible tall tales of an oppressive regime trying to rules over all mankind and that the heroics of Han and his father single-handedly fought off hundreds of offices just by waiting until they looked inside a great big jewelry box filled with vapor and skeletons that would cause one's skin to melt. How dare Han fill these impressionable young minds with such bantha fodder? He turns to Isabel who tenderly cuddles a sleeping Krizstan. The baby has been up and about all day. He is finally in dreamland. Anakin smiles as he gently touches the tot's sweet face.

"Solo, your story just put my child to sleep. You're finally good for something."

"Well, for your information, it's all true."

"I just hope you outgrow this nonsense now that you and Leia are married."

"Leia's been on a few adventures with me."

"Well keep it to yourself. Children are present." He glances across the table at the children. They are exhausted after a long day.

Leia helps Isabel get them washed and ready for bed. Anakin and Nakai returns to the YUV once more to retrieve the backpacks and overnight bags. The children need their pajamas. The youngsters experience a surge of energy once they are washed and dressed for bed. They make a request that will soon affect everyone in the house.

Ana-Lena sits on Leia's lap while getting her hair combed.

"We want to sleep on the carousel bed."

Isabel overhears this as she helps Alex with his black nightshirt. It is actually an oversized t-shirt Luke had given him with the ''Tuskin' Rayders' surfing emblem silk-screened across the front in neon green. Li-An barely gets the shirt over his head when he seconds the motion.

"Ooohh! I want to stay in Obi-Wan's room too!"

Isabel does not concur.

"No, you're sleeping in the room Uncle Bed set up for you."

"But we've been good. Please?"

"There is no room. Stop asking."

Obi-Wan walks by the door of the guestroom. Ana-Leia is the first to see him.

"Uncle Ben, please may we stay in the music room?"

"Sure, why not."

Isabel is embarrassed.

"Thank you, Obi-Wan, but I told them 'no.' I can't let you do this."

"Don't worry. There's room for everybody."

Leia chimes in.

"Han and I are going to stay at a hotel in Mos Eisley."

Obi-Wan is immediately opposed.

"Leia, you and Han are my guests. What's more, you're family. Please stay."

Isabel ponders for a moment.

"Obi-Wan, if you're serious, we're going to need to make some quick sleeping arrangements. I'll let Anakin know."

Before she does this, she works with Leia and Obi-Wan on a solution. Anakin is initially pleased.

"So, Leia and Han won't get a chance to maul each other tonight? Ha-ha!"

"We're putting Han in the guest room where the children were supposed to sleep. "

"Ah-ha! He's going to sleep in one of those kiddie beds?"

"He won't be alone. He'll have roommates. Your father will be in there."

"Oh…that should be fun."

"You'll have the third bed."

Anakin's bottom lip drops. Isabel tries to hide her amusement.

"Be careful getting out of bed in the middle of the night. The beds are close to the floor. Goodnight, sweetie." She gives him a peck on the cheek and walks away.

"Isabel, that's not right...Don't walk away when I'm talking to you. I know you hear me."

Isabel's parents get the guest room with the queen-sized bed. Skippy curls up on the floor in Obi-Wan's room near the revolving bed. Bunny stops by the master bedroom to get some pillows and blankets. She spends a few minutes with the children. Anakin walks in just as Bunny is leaving. He hears the children thank her for something.

"Thanks Aunt Bunny."

"You're welcome." She sees Anakin. "Hey, Ani, suge. You need an extra pillow, sweetheart?"

"No, thanks…I'm good."

"I'll be right back. You just let me know. Those kids are the sweetest little things."

Anakin looks at the three children rolling on the bed. Li-An studies the options on the remote control for the bed. He sees Ana-Lena grasping into the pole.

"Daddy, look what Aunt Bunny taught me!"

Ana-Lena pulls her tiny body up the pole. Her pink sleeveless baby doll sleep top rides up to her chest. The matching panties have the words 'Galactic Princess' printed on the back. She makes her way up just a few inches and tries to spin around. Anakin is about to faint.

"Get down from there now!"

Leia walks in wearing a pink nightshirt. She has just washed and brushed her teeth. Leia stands behind her father when Ana-Lena takes a harmless whirl on the pole. To anyone passing by, it looks innocent enough; but to Anakin, it is a path straight to the strip clubs of Bespin and the 'Scoundrel's Gentlemen's Club' located down the street from the Mos Eisley Cantina. There will be no stripper's pole in his little girl's future. Leia smiles. She watches Ana-Lena walk over to her father. Anakin looks so serious.

"Daddy, what did I do?"

"Uhmmm…it's time for bed. All of you." She sees Li-An playing with the remote control. The image of the galaxy appears on the domed ceiling. The lights dim. Anakin holds out his hand. "Li-An, give that to me. Now get into bed."

"What are you going to do with it?"

"Don't you worry your little blonde head with that." Li-An hands him the remote. He looks around the room. "Obi-Wan has lost his marbles letting you kids have this room."

"Where are you sleeping?"

"Don't worry about where I'm sleeping. I have my eyes on you."

Leia reveals his sleeping location.

"He's sleeping in the little room."

"The room with the baby beds? Haha-ha!"

"You think that's funny?"

Alex looks up at his father from the circular bed.

"Who else is sleeping there?"

Leia answers.

"Palps…"

"Ooh…can we go in and say 'goodnight?"

"No…he's already asleep."

Ana-Lena hugs her father's legs.

"Will you stay while we say our prayers?"

"Sure. The short version."

Leia leans on the dresser as the children kneel around the bed. She wears a broad grin on her face. She wants to hear this. Ana-Lena starts.

"Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord the Force to keep. Bless Uncle Ben for giving us this cool guestroom…and…"

Anakin folds his arms. He does not want this ritual to go on all night.

"Shorter."

Alex thinks of something.

"Please let Gramp Palpy recover from the attempt on his life. Dad's really sorry even though he doesn't seem repentant enough…"

Anakin clears his throat.

"Ahem!"

Li-An wraps it up.

"In summation, we hope this phase of our trip is more fun than the last. Sorry we can't say more…our dad wants us in bed. I hope you'll forgive us and let us into heaven anyway. Amen."

The boys hop onto the huge bed. Anakin flips Ana-Lena over his arm and onto the bed. She feels like an acrobat. She giggles.

'That was fun, Daddy, do it again."

"No. We're not at the circus. Go to sleep. All of you." He kisses the children. Ana-Lena wraps her arms around his neck as he leans over to kiss her goodnight.

"Eskimo kiss."

Anakin complies. Alex laces his fingers behind his head as he lies in the bed.

"Dad, speaking of Eskimos; are we going to Hoth for the winter carnival this year?"

"What? One vacation at a time. Go to sleep."

"I love you, Dad."

"I love you too."

Li-An looks up at his father from his red satin pillow.

"Dad?"

"Yes?"

"Can we have the remote?"

"No. You're not going to turn this room into more of a revolving circus than it already is."

"Well…can you at least turn on the galaxy button so we can sleep under the stars?"

Anakin scans the function buttons and finds the one that will illuminate the room with twinkling lights of moons and stars. He turns to leave the room. Leia has a bemused expression on her face. He knows she is going to say something.

"What?"

"Nothing…you just amaze me every time of what a wonderful father you are."

"I've got skills." He heads out of the room then hands her the remote. "Hold onto this. If they get their little hands on it, they'll be up all night playing."

"You can count on me, Dad."

"I know."

Nakai quietly enters the room and sets up the portable crib in the corner. Ouisanne enters with the baby who is asleep in her arms. The four younger Skywalker siblings are finally settled in for the night. Leia waits until her father and step grandparents kiss the children 'goodnight' and leave before she closes the door.

"Goodnight."

Anakin decides to go to his assigned sleeping quarters. He stands in the door and looks at the three small beds. Palpatine shuffles in before in after washing up. Aunt Bunny applies a fresh gauze bandage before he enters the room.

"Anakin, I hope you don't mind, I took the bed away from the window so the morning sun won't hit me."

"Fine." This suits Anakin perfectly. He'll be near the window and will not have to look at the old man or the nerfherder. As he heads for the bed, Han walks in and hurls a soft overnight bag onto the bed where Anakin is planning to sleep. Han throws his body onto the bed and tries it out.

"This isn't so bad…small but it'll do."

"Right."

Anakin could have kicked Han off the bed but people were already angry with him today. He looks at his two _'roommates.'_ He sympathizes with any student going away to university and has to spend his freshman year in a dorm room with people he would never socialize with in public. This is not fair. If this is Isabel's way of getting even, she has won.

Han sits up and removes his shirt. When he removes his cargo shorts and prepares to slip under the sheet, Anakin feels compelled to say something.

"Aren't you going to wash first?"

"I'm clean. Why waste water?"

"Does my daughter know you don't bathe?"

"Bathe? Bathe? What are we, children? Only old folks, kids, and women bathe. Geez, you're funny…."

Han suddenly remembers what Leia warned him about earlier. It is too late to backpedal on what he has just said. He forgot about 'pacing' himself and slowing down before he speaks. He braces himself for misspeaking.

Anakin nods with humble acceptance.

"Touché." He leaves to take his shower.

Soon everyone is in bed for the night. Obi-Wan and Bunny open up the sofa bed and settle in. Isabel's parents are in the guestroom, Threepio and Artoo hunker down outside under the awning; Isabel sleeps on a chaise in the master bedroom close to the baby. Leia sleeps on the revolving bed with her siblings. She waits until everyone leaves, closes the door, and turns on the remote. The four of them watch the virtual constellation display. The heavens look beautiful. Soon they all fall asleep under the stars without exchanging a word.

Anakin and Han are having a miserable evening with the noises coming from bed number three near the wall. Anakin has the misfortune of being in the middle bed and taking in every sound and smell. Han lifts his head and looks over at Anakin. Anakin feels the nerfherder-in-law staring at him.

"It's not me."

The two begin laughing quietly while the old man continues to make 'music' under the sheets. Anakin follows Han out of the room. The two men swap tales of their personal adventures across the galaxy. They lay back on the deck chairs near the pool. The bright Tatooine moon shimmers over the water.

"So I said to him, 'Give me the whip.' Then he counters back. _'Throw me the idol. No time to argue. Throw me idol, I'll throw you the whip.'_ At that point, I wanted to bitch-slap the twerp because he's pissing me off…so I figure what's he going to do, take off and run? And, so I throw him the idol. Guess what the SOB does?"

Anakin listens like a boy around a campfire listening to a story.

"He takes off running."

"Not only that, he drops the whip to the floor and I'm left standing just inches from this pit so I got nowhere to go. I had to leap across. I get to the edge and miss so I'm holding on by the tips of my fingers for dear life. Those were the scariest few minutes in my life. If it weren't for my sheer determination to live, I would not be here today married to Leia."

"How about that? Hmmm…you did a lot of amazing stuff with your father too, right?"

"Yeah, my dad's an amazing man. We make a great team."

"I never did anything cool with my dad…except almost destroy the galaxy."

"Well, in all fairness, you didn't know he was your dad back then."

"True. I was just young dumb and angry all the time."

"Well, you're not so young anymore…." Han remembers to pace himself and think of a better way of saying what he actually meant to say "…You've matured and you're more in tuned with the vox populi. That's why you're a great man today."

"Why thank you, Han. That was a nice thing to say."

"I'm a nice guy." He yawns. "I'm beat."

"Long day." Anakin yawns too. "Good night."

Obi-Wan's summer hut by the Dune Sea is peaceful tonight. Tomorrow the peace will end. Anakin makes a mental note to borrow Obi-Wan's dictionary to look up _'vox populi.'_


	140. Chapter 140 Uncle Ben's Converted Rice

Chapter 140

'_Uncle Ben's Converted Rice'_

'_Can I Get a Witness?'_

'_Take My Lucky Charms'_

'_A Jedi Destination Wedding: Qui-Gon Has Left the Building'_

'_**This Property Is Condemned'**_

The dual suns rise to the smell of fresh jawa brewing and the sizzling of Eopie bacon and fresh duck eggs. Han and Anakin play chef in Obi-Wan's kitchen. After the prep work, they bring out the food on a rolling warming tray. Anakin does most of the cooking on the deluxe patio grill. Han prepares mimosas and kiddie cocktails. Both men are wearing aprons. The styles are pure Obi-Wan. Han is wearing _'Sexiest Chef on Tatooine' _and Anakin takes the only clean apron available that _has 'Throw Another Sith on the Barbie'_ embroidered across the bib. These were obviously gag gifts from some of his friends. Han is not too bothered by the one he has with a sexy maid's uniform with silicone-filled breasts that honk when squeezed and a frilly little white apron sewn on the actual apron and garters embroidered on it, only viewable if you life the faux apron. This was definitely a gift for Bunny from her old codger Jedi Master boyfriend. Anakin's apron has a decoration too. A fluorescent Lightsaber impaling a shaak steak with a tiny helmet 'branded' into it. How was that funny?

Everyone gathers around the table at poolside. Palpatine is the last to arrive. He takes in a long breath as he is about to pull out his chair.

"Morning everyone. What smells so delightful?"

Han and Anakin start laughing like adolescents. The children watch their father laugh uncontrollably. Obi-Wan smiles across the table at the children.

"Seems like your father is actually enjoying himself today."

Li-An glances over at his father.

"I think he just took his medication."

Alex chimes in then giggles.

"His 'happy to see you' pills."

Anakin and Han continue preparing and serving their 'grand slam 'Sith and Nerf' breakfast special. They perform like flair bartenders, twirling ketchup bottles, flipping breakfast pancakes, and grilling shaak sausage links. The children are thoroughly entertained as they watch Han and Anakin juggle the pepper mill back and forth to one another and flambé an egg pizza garnished with roasted peppers and flavored with a hint of cognac. Leia is delighted that the two favorite men in her life have started the morning off on a positive note.

Anakin addresses the group.

"Okay, folks, eat up; get your energy; we've got a busy day ahead of us." He glances over at Alex. "Alex, are you having trouble getting that egg in your mouth?"

Alex giggles as he attempts to slurp up some of the egg still on his fork.

"No. You're just funny, Dad"

"So, I'm here for your amusement? Do I amuse you? You think I'm a clown."

"Yes."

"Good…I like that. You're honest."

"Well, honesty is the best policy, Dad."

"It sure is, son."

Ana-Lena's hand goes up. She is swallowing a mouthful of pancakes.

"I know a policy, Daddy"

"You do? Let's hear it, sweet pea."

She swings her little legs under the table as she speaks. She is wearing little pink crocs on her feet.

"Uhm…Be nice to others even when they're not nice to you."

"Well, that's a very good policy, sweet pea"

"Thank you, Daddy."

Li-An is not so sure about this.

"That's a lousy policy. I say, whip his ass and then ask questions later."

Leia bursts into laughter.

"Oh, Li-An! You're too much."

"Well, what's the point of being a Jedi if you can't whip some serious Sith ass?"

Isabel gives her son a look of disapproval. He stands by his remark but with a tone of contrition.

"Well…it's true."

Palpatine changes the tone for a moment.

"Anakin, this breakfast is excellent."

As Palpatine pays his compliments to the chefs, Li-An begins to stare at the old Sith. He notices something on Palpatine's forehead. It was not clear yesterday but it sure is clear now. The blistering has subsided and most of the dead skin has started to sloth off but during the healing process, he is left with a faded red mark. Li-An leans in and squints as he tries to make out what looks like letters across Palpatine's forehead. Isabel notices and whispers to her son.

"Don't stare, it's not polite."

"But mom, look." He points.

Obi-Wan happens to be closest to the old Sith and looks up from his plate. He turns his head to his left where Palpatine is sitting. There it is for all to see.

Palpatine had been locked in the SUV long enough to suffer some other side effects. Because of the position he was sitting in an effort to get comfortable, he face was in direct alignment with the blazing suns. There happened to be something pasted on the passenger-side window. Whatever it was became etched into his skin.

Leia notice the markings now too. Across his forehead and close to his hairline is the Jedi emblem with the text:_ 'My Child is A Jedi Apprentice'_

Ana-Lena points.

"Mommy, Palps has a tattoo."

"Yes, sweetie, we see."

Aunt Bunny stares. She directs her question at Palpatine.

"Dantius, honey, did you do that for the children? Why didn't you just get a t-shirt? They sell them in the Jedi Temple Bookstore."

Han and Anakin overhear this while they are at the grill. They start laughing. Han whispers to Anakin.

"Perhaps it's a sign. You could turn him into a holy shrine and flocks of people will make a pilgrimage to get a view of the sacred Sith."

Anakin stops laughing and returns a blank stare. Han resumes his grilling duties.

Alex seems a bit concerned.

"Dad, is Gramps going to turn into a pile of ashes?"

"No! He'll be fine. It's just what's left of his sunburn. Where did you hear that?"

"Ooohh…uhmm…I can't remember."

He does remember. The specter of Jedi Master Qui-Gon appeared to the child and told him that the old man was a vampire and once the sun hit in just the right place he would dissolve into a pile of ashes. It seems that the Force Ghost needed a bit of 'pacing' of his own. He did not realize that saying such things might frighten a young child. Master Windu makes a point of bringing this to Qui-Gon's attention. That night, while everyone is asleep, the Jedi Master apologizes to the boy.

'_Hey, Ally, my man.'_

Alex lifts his head from the pillow on the round bed. He rubs his eyes and blinks a few times. As his eyes adjust to the dark room, he sees Qui-Gon.

"Hi." He scratches the side of his nose. Qui-Gon folds his arms and smiles.

'_You had an exciting day.'_

"Yeah."

Qui-Gon. Looks around at all the children sleeping.

'_You look tired.'_

"That's 'cause I was sleeping."

'_I'll keep this brief because I don't want your big sister to yell at me.'_

"Why?"

'_Just because…'_

"You're scared of Leia?"

'_Of course not. Anyway…I came to apologize for what I said about the old guy turning into a pile of ashes. It's not true. Sorry if I frightened you.'_

"It's okay. Uncle Ben said only a trip on Mustafar would do that and that won't be happening anytime soon.'

'_Oh…well…I guess my work is done here. Well, enjoy the rest of your vacation…'_

He is interrupted mid-sentence. It is Leia.

"Oh, for goodness sake! Will you let the boy sleep? It's past midnight already!"

'_I'm leaving! Cool bed!'_

Alex drops his head onto the pillow and waves to the Jedi Force Ghost. Qui-Gon fades out.

That was last night. Everyone has recovered nicely and is enjoying the morning by the pool.

The children continue to examine the markings on Palpatine's forehead. Ana-Lena looks at Li-An.

"Li, Gramp Palps must be really proud of you."

"I am proud of all of my grand children."

Nakai leaves his chair and walks over to examine the old man's 'brand.'

"It'll fade after awhile. It's not permanent."

Li-An is disappointed.

"Awww…maaan. I wanted to tell all my classmates. That would have been awesome."

Han has an idea. He grabs a holocam and stands over Palpatine. He calls Li-An over.

"Hey, sport, here…now no one will doubt you. You have it on tape."

Li-An looks at he LCD screen on the camera. Alex leaves his seat and looks over his brother's shoulder. Ana-Lena joins them. Li-An is pleased.

"Way cool!"

Artoo rolls over to the old man. The droid flips out a holovid display-recording device and takes images.

Palpatine has had enough gawkers.

"Will everyone just get away? This isn't a carnival. Let me enjoy my breakfast in peace."

Artoo retrieves the data for processing then sends it over the intergalactic web.

Luke is back on Coruscant preparing to lave. He first must attend an early morning briefing with the Jedi Council Historical Preservation Committee and Madame Jocasta Nu. His mobile phone lights up. He thinks it is official business because he is awaiting a call from Master Yoda. He excuses himself. When Luke opens the transmitted message, he cannot believe what he sees and starts to laugh. He replies to the message. "Good work, Artoo. I'll meet you in Mos Eisley this evening. I am bringing reinforcements for our 'meeting' later."

Back on Tatooine, Isabel, Leia, and Ouisanne take Bunny into Mos Eisley for lunch and shopping. The droids remain at Obi-Wan's hut to take care of the children and to keep an eye on Palpatine. Palpatine in not much of a threat, but he is a nuisance as he parks himself on one of the deck chairs and requests beverages , his theatre magazines and an occasional application of burn ointment and sunscreen. He covers himself with one of his hooded burgundy terry robes. Skippy watches him carefully. The children play in the bedroom on the revolving bed. Alex plays with the remote then forgets how to change the speed. Artoo has to control rotating the mechanism manually to get the bed to stop. He tells the children to leave the room. Threepio suggests they read a book.

Bored with their own reading materials, they decide to check out Obi-Wan's 'library'.

"What's 'T and A', Li?"

"Let's open it up and see. If Uncle Ben owns it, it must be cool. I'll take volume 1 through 6 and you guys take volumes 7 through 12."

They spread out on the floor and start to open the book. The children are speechless at first then continue reading. They have in their possession the limited edition of Tauntaun and Acklay Cartoon Comics. The series is about the bungling adventures between a clumsy tap-dancing Acklay and his pal the snowboarding Tauntauns. This keeps the children occupied until their mother returns for them. Obi-Wan managed to hide all of his adult 'reading materials' in time to insert the 'kiddie comics' before he leaves with Anakin and Han for the Casino.

Meanwhile, at Mos Eisley Anakin, Han, and Nakai take Obi-Wan for a late morning handball game, and then some time in the steam room. They return to the hotel suite they rented and change into black-tie. Apparel for a planned evening at the casino.

"Is this your half-witted attempt to throw me a bachelor party?"

Han is annoyed that the over-the-hill Jedi Master is being ungrateful. He leans across the private table at the private casino bar.

"Listen, 'Father Time', I didn't fly all the way to this rock to get dressed up in 80 degree weather for kicks. I could have been at my new house with my new wife enjoying myself. You're going to have a good time tonight if it kills me."

"That can be arranged."

Anakin is hoping that his plans don't start falling apart now.

"Come on, guys. Can't we just get along? I made dinner reservations this evening at the high rollers club."

Nakai tries to be supportive of his son-in-law.

"Sounds like we're in for a fun night."

Nakai claps his hands together and smiles. Obi-Wan sits back in his chair and strokes his beard. He looks at the group of men eager for a party and speaks.

"I've given your proposal some though and I will accept your invitation to a night filled with reckless abandonment."

Han looks confused.

"Huh? Mister, we just want to have a good time."

Anakin is annoyed too.

"Aho! This get-together is beneath you now, 'Mr. Caamas double on the rocks'? Please, if we're keeping you from something more important let us know."

"Anakin, I resent your insinuation that I drink too much. I m not and have never been an alcoholic. When have any of you ever seen me inebriated?"

Han thinks back on his visit to the Skywalker home when Obi-Wan made a rambling toast to the hostess Leia. Also, this was the evening when Anakin had a meltdown and tried to strangle the nerfherder. Anakin can recall the Jedi Master being half-buzzed while delivering a speech at his wedding eight years ago. Nakai recalls the same event. He had just given his daughter away to the Dark Lord. Those were days fondly remembered.

Obi-Wan scans the table, looking at the three men. He continues to speak.

"Okay….who has seen me drunk in the past 24 hours?" Aha! See? You've got nothing on me….Sooo… what else is on the agenda for tonight?"

Anakin munches on a pretzel.

"Nuthin."

"You mean to tell me we're going to spend the entire evening hanging out here? What about our womenfolk?"

Han is amused.

"Womenfolk? What are we, pioneers on a wagon train?" Everyone has eyes on him now. He explains himself. "Okay, I may have watched an episode or two of the Outer Galactic History Channel. It was educational….I believe there are forms of intelligent life outside our galaxy. Come on, are we so arrogant that we believe we're the only ones in this universe. I don't believe those holovids were shot in an Imperial docking bay. "

Everyone stares at Han. He takes a sip of ale from his glass then pops a pretzel into his mouth. Anakin folds his arms across his chest.

"Are you quite through?"

"I was just making a point. Sorry. Everyone is so sensitive all of a sudden."

Anakin whacks Han on the head with the back of his hand.

"As I was about to say, Obi-Wan, Our 'women' are enjoying what they do best, yapping about stuff we don't care about and shopping for shoes and clothes they will never wear. You should see 'Bel's walk-in closet. It's not a walk-in closet; it's a drive through. Men, today, we are liberated. Let's enjoy it while it lasts"

There is a unified agreement.

"Here, here."

Just as Anakin makes his declaration a smile forms across his face. He sees someone approaching the table.

"Here's my young ambassador. Welcome." Anakin stands to greet his 'ambassador.

"Hi, Dad, Hi Pop. Ben, good to see you! Hey Han."

Luke is dressed in black tie like the rest of the group. After giving his father a warm hug, he moves on to his step-grandfather, Han and then Obi-Wan.

"Hello, young Luke, Tell me, what Imperial entanglements has your father gotten you into?"

"Oh, everything is fine…fine." He sneaks a knowing wink at his father.

Obi-Wan offers Luke a chair.

"Have a seat, Luke. You must have been traveling all day."

"I have. I had to drop off some cargo on my way over." He looks at his father as he says this. Anakin understands. "Oh, I had to drop off a hitchhiker."

Isabel's mother and Bunny remain in the shopping district. The Isabel and Leia bring the 'hitchhiker' back to the house with them. They have to retrieve Palpatine, the children and the droids. Palpatine is sitting in the living room with the children reading the comic books to them. He has no choice but to come inside the house. No one came out to feed him. He prepared a snack for everyone and stayed inside. Isabel hands him a suit bag from one of the local men's stores in Mos Eisley.

"Anakin needs you to wash up and wear this."

"Where are we going?"

"Anakin says it's a surprise. Hurry because we don't have a lot of time."

"Very well….oh! I know….Anakin is such a wonderful son. He didn't forget my birthday after all. I'll pretend to be surprised." He is smiling and giddy. Isabel is speechless; so is Leia who quickly ushers the children into Obi-Wan's room to help them get ready. She enlists the help of the 'hitchhiker.'

"Mara, I need your help. Get in here."

Once Leia and Mara walk in the room, Leia closes the door. The children are happy to see her.

Ana-Lena points to the giant round bed in the middle of the room.

"Mara, are you staying with us tonight? Look, there's a jelly bed."

"Wow…" She sits on the edge of the bed and feels the mattress move live a wave on an ocean. "Cool."

Leia needs her undivided attention.

"Mara, I need your help here."

"Oh, sure. What sort of party are we planning for Palps? Will there be a cake?"

"Leia is losing patience with her brother's paramour but she is also embarrassed by the confession she is about to make."

"There is no party for Palps, okay?"

"How come?"

The children echo the same sentiment.

"Yeah, how come?"

"Listen, we forgot okay?…We never celebrated his birthday from what I can recall. We don't even know when it is." She is in a hurry to comb and style Ana-Lena's hair. Ana-Lena holds the pink ribbons as she sits on a cushion at Leia's feet.

Alex looks at his big sister.

"He just told us when it is…it's today."

Ana-Lena turns he head as Leia tries to form a braided pigtail into a loop.

"What are we going to buy for Palps?"

"Don't worry about it. We aren't buying anything. There's no time. Keep still so I can get this ribbon straight!"

"Ouch! You're tying my ribbon too tight." Ana-Lena pouts.

Li-An puts on a pair of white cotton dress socks.

"Gee, Leia, I hope you and Han don't have kids. You don't have any patience."

"Will you get dressed? All you've gotten on so far are your socks? Did you wash?"

"You mean my whole body?"

"Get into the shower now. Take stinky brother number two with you. Who has the baby?"

"Threepio and Artoo are with him. Geez, relax, Leia."

"Ana-Le, did you wash?"

"Yes. I washed just before you came home because I knew we were going to get dressed. Mommy laid all of our clothes out over there on the chair."

"How did you turn on the shower?"

"I used the Force…and Threepio, Artoo, and Krisi sat and watched to make sure I didn't slip. I can take care of myself you know…not like those boys."

Leia looks at Mara who is flipping through one of the comic books and laughing to herself. Leia interrupts Mara's blissful moment of escape into fantasy.

"Mara, check on _'Dirty and Grimy'_ in there for me please?"

"Oh, sure." Mara walks into the bathroom. "Hey, boys, are you decent? I'm coming in."

"Leia sent you in to supervise?"

"Yes she did." Mara continues to read the comic book. "Hey! Aren't you supposed to use soap?"

"How do you know we're not using soap?"

"It's a clear glass door and I can see the soap in the dispenser. Lather up, boys. No girl is going to want to kiss you if you smell like a Tauntaun."

The boys comply.

"Hey, Mara, wanna see our muscles?" They start doing muscle man poses in the shower.

"I would prefer to see some soap action. Start scrubbing, you little womp rats!"

"Alex, I think she likes us."

"If I don't see any soap I'm calling your mother in here…or Leia…she's closer…"

"We're scrubbing, we're scrubbing, okay?"

Mara cackles like a wicked witch.

"Aha-ha! Once again, another Skywalker under my control. Wash, my tiny Jedi's, wash!" She only once looks up from the comic book. The boys wash themselves from head to toe then rinse off. She hands them each a towel. Li-An dries himself off. He looks up at her. The two boys reminds her so much of Luke when he was their age.

"Hey, Mara, that wicked witch voice was great. You should be on _'Horror Twisted Thriller Theater.'_

"What's that?"

"It's a horror show on the plasma. It comes on late at night. We used to sneak into Luke's room after bedtime to watch it."

"Why did you stop watching? Luke moved his plasma out of the house?"

"No. Our parents were sick of us crawling into their bed at night. Our Dad said he was going to lock his door and leave us out in the hall for the monsters to get us if we don't stop watching. It worked."

Leia calls them. She walks into the bathroom to find Mara having a conversation with the boys. She is livid.

"Mara, what's taking so long? You boys get dressed now! We're never going to get back to town at this pace."

As Leia turns to leave, the boys walk behind her making faces.

"I know what you're doing. Cut it out!"

Mara helps get the boys ready.

While Palpatine is getting ready in the guestroom, Isabel goes into the kitchen and calls Anakin to tell him about the new 'surprise.' Anakin is not expecting this.

"His what?"

"His birthday, Anakin. Now the children are asking questions. I had no clue."

"Nobody had a clue. In all the years I've been around him, I've never witnessed any sort of celebration. He was too busy celebrating destroying the Galaxy."

"Well, you had better think of something because I am not dealing with this alone. These past 24 hours we've done nothing but act as nursemaids for him. I have children to take care of."

"Why do I have to think of something? You know I'm not that smart."

"You're playing dumb now?" You can't pick and chose when you want to use your brain, Anakin. You need to step up to the plate."

"What plate?"

"Never mind."

"What? You're using words that have other meanings again. I don't have time to figure it out now but when I do have time…and figure out the meaning behind what you said…I'm going to… well you just wait and see."

"That's a homonym."

"Why did you bring that up? I have never said that to anyone, 'Bel and you know it."

"What? Anakin, I have to go. I have four children and an old Sith to drive to Mos Eisley. I'm going to be hearing a lot of whining and crying on the ride over."

"You're the greatest, honey. I love you."

Isabel hangs up on him.

Isabel waits for Palpatine to get ready. She applies a bit of concealer to his skin. The make up shop does not carry _'Sith White'_ anymore since the overthrow of the Empire. She mixes the makeup with some rice flour to attain a shade as close to his skin tone as possible. Anakin sends a limousine to pick them up. He does not want an angry wife driving into Mos Eisley.

Mara, Leia and the droids help to hustle everyone into the waiting limo. Ana-Lena is the last to leave as Isabel stands at the front door.

"Ana-Lena, let's go."

Upon their arrival, Isabel delivers Palpatine and the droids to Anakin. She takes the children with her to a hotel suite. Anakin does not want his plans falling apart. Anakin takes Obi-Wan aside for a private chat at the mezzanine balcony while the other men play cards.

"So, Obi-Wan, when are you and Bunny going to tie the knot?"

"You know, Bunny and I discussed this last night and we agreed we didn't need to get married. We're happier living in sin. I think it's best for all concerned."

"But she caught the bouquet at Leia's wedding."

"I know. In our hearts, we're one. That's all we need."

"Is that so?…hmmm. Ahemm!" He pretends to cough. "I forgot how dry this air is. Hold on while I get a glass of water." He hurries inside and calls the hotel suite upstairs. "Bel, put your mother on the phone, I need help…and no comments. I'm in no mood. This is an emergency."

"Hold on."

A few moments later Ouisanne picks up the phone.

"Anakin, sweetheart, what's going on down there?"

"Mom, I have a slight problem. I need your help."

"What is it?"

"Obi-Wan is going to bail."

"Oh dear. Bunny's getting changed."

"I need you down here right now. Please. Talk to him. He respects you."

"I'll try but I can't make him do what he doesn't want. He should talk to her."

"No, I need you."

"I'm on my way down."

Ouisanne hurries out of the room. Bunny sees her.

"Isabel, where is your mother going? She was going to help me get ready."

"She'll be right back."

Anakin goes back onto the balcony

Obi-Wan is enjoying the view of the new bustling casino communities near the Dune Sea.

"Wow, I feel much better. This is a really great view."

"A lot has changed since the Clone Wars. All of these areas are alive again."

"Sure has."

Someone joins them on the balcony.

"Hello, Ben, Anakin."

Obi-Wan's face lights up.

"Well, Ouisanne, what a lovely surprise." He looks at Anakin. Anakin stands in the doorway to give them some space to 'chat'. "What brings you here?"

"I want to thank you for being such a delightful host and inviting us into your lovely home."

"Oh, I owe it all to your son-in-law. So, what did you ladies do today while we were enjoying our guys' day out on the town?"

"We had a lovely time. We did a bit of shopping, had our hair and nails done. Bunny had a fabulous time. Why don't you marry the girl? She told us how special she felt catching that bouquet at Leia's wedding. She felt like a princess. She says people look at her differently now. She's a sweet lady."

"You know what? You're right. I should ask her to marry me. I suppose I could get her an engagement ring later…"

Anakin walks back onto the balcony.

"Will this do?" Anakin flips open a blue velvet box.

"Oooh, that's nice. Where is she?"

"Upstairs."

"Thanks! Ouisanne, if it weren't for you bringing this to my attention, I never would have done it."

Obi-Wan heads up to the suite. Everyone hides in the next room as Obi-Wan knocks on the door.

"Who is it?"

"This is the love of you life calling, Miss Harrington."

"Really?"

"Open the door, woman."

Bunny opens the door. She is wearing a hotel terry robe.

"Come on in, Suge."

"Miss Bunny, You're the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with and I fully intend to marry you."

"Oh, Benji, you're so romantic."

"I even have a ring. Say the magic word and it will be yours."

"Is it one of the magic words we use when…you know…" She giggles as she shoves him playfully.

"No. Not that magic word."

"Are you gonna give me a clue, Suge?"

"You don't have a clue. Just say 'yes' and we'll leave it at that."

"I'm sure familiar with that word! Yes!" He slips the ring on her finger. "Oh, Benji, you have such good taste. This ring is so pretty. How long did it take you to pick this one out?"

"Seconds. It was as if a dark angel placed it in my hand."

"Well, you better keep that angel by your side, Suge. I can't wait to show this off."

"Why don't we tie the knot tonight?"

"Okay, if you say so, Suge."

"I'll get the guys together."

"Okay…see you in a few. Bye-bye."

"Bye."

She ushers him out the door. As soon as the door closes, Bunny lets out a scream.

"Hey, everybody, I'm engaged!"

Isabel, Leia, and the others gather to get a look at the ring. Ouisanne returns to the room.

"Oh, dear, what happened while I was away?"

Leia grins.

"Looks like Bunny's finally caught her man. She's officially getting hitched."

Isabel hugs her.

"Congratulations now go get dressed. Your wedding is in an hour."

Anakin gets a call from his wife to get the wheels in motion. Luke has the wedding bands. He had to be careful when he asked Obi-Wan about ring designs on morning after a Jedi Council meeting. Anakin pays for the gold rings with the Jedi emblem engraved outside each band. On the inside are the names _'Benji and Bun: May the Force Be with You.'_ With this done, Luke had to locate the minister who will officiate at the ceremony. Luke lost him on the casino floor. He follows a trail of crumbs and then hears a commotion in the slot machine area. Potential gamblers are held at bay as a lone gambler handles the one armed bandit.

"Mine, mine, mine these three slot machines are! Go away…another machine you must find."

One of the guards gets whacked with a gimer stick. Luke hurries over and assures the security guard that he can handle the situation. He waves his hand and the staff goes about their business.

"Master Yoda, we have to leave now."

"No…on a roll I am. Just getting started…just getting started. Machines are rigged, I feel."

"You can come back later. We only have the chapel for half an hour. You've got four pails of coins here. Let's go."

"One spin more, one spin more." He waves his hand to release the lever on the other two machines. Luke has an idea, he is not proud of such a devious plot but he figures it will get the Jedi Master off the casino floor faster.

"You know, Master, You could enlist the help of the Force to increase your winnings."

"Oooh…dark side of the Force that is."

"Well, we're running out of time. Let's go."

"On the other hand… taking everyone's money these casinos are."

Yoda waves his hand and the bells start to ring on all three machines. The coin trays spill over. Luke helps to scoop up the money. An attendant and security staff assists them in wheeling out the pails of coins on a cart. As the leave the casino floor, Yoda waves his hand once more and all the other machines start spilling coins. The place is a madhouse. The casino manager sends a technician onto the floor to check the mechanism on each machine. The slot machine area is wiped out. The management closes down that section of the floor.

Luke arrives at the chapel. Yoda looks up at the neon sign above the double doors. Yoda shakes his head.

"'_Qui-Gon Jinn Love is a Battlefield Chapel'_? Who thought of this?"

"He did. Qui-Gon had a will. He wanted a shrine named after him."

"In bad taste this is. Okay, inside we go." He lets out a heavy sigh.

They enter the chapel. Anakin stands at the altar with Obi-Wan. Nakai is in the first row of seats. His wife Ouisanne holds the baby. Han, Mara, the youngsters, the droids, and Palpatine are all inside. Off to the side is a portable keyboard on a stand. The keyboard player is a Qui-Gon Jinn impersonator. Yoda takes one look and rolls his eyes in disgust. He looks up at Obi-Wan.

"You finally making this union legal?"

"I figure I should share what I have with someone I care about."

"You don't own anything."

"I've got the hut…I made improvements. Oh, Anakin, I charged the pool and the other home improvements to your account. I didn't think you would mind…I mean, your kids have to have someplace to sleep and play when they visit. You need not worry about a wedding gift."

"Wow. That was very thoughtful of you, Obi-Wan."

"I was happy to do it."

Yoda has heard enough.

"Okay, are we ready? Play music Qui-Gon phony baloney."

The music starts out as the traditional wedding march, the doors open and Isabel, with Leia close behind, waltz in wearing hot pink chiffon and spandex dresses with a keyhole chiffon bodice that shoves their breasts up resembling small heaving melons. The children follow in their normal clothes. They take their places at the altar. Bunny appears in the door. She is wearing a marshmallow-white gown with a thigh-high slit up the side, a hot pink train and tulle veil and pink roses. Two of her stripper friends wear a shorter version of Bunny's gown. They handle her train. The march fades into a familiar tune. The 'Qui-Gon Jinn' impersonator sings.

_**Up to now we sailed through every storm**_

_**and I've always had your tender lips to keep me warm**_

_**oh I need to have the strength that flows from you**_

_**don't let me drift away my dear, when love can see me through**_

_**Our love is like a ship on the ocean**_

_**we've been sailing with a cargo full of, love and devotion**_

_**So I'd like to know where, you got the notion**_

_**said I'd like to know where, you got the notion**_

_**To rock the boat, don't rock the boat baby**_

_**rock the boat, don't tip the boat over**_

_**rock the boat, don't rock the boat baby**_

_**rock the boat-t-t-t-t**_

Yoda's mouth drops open as Bunny approaches the altar. He begins the service. The 'Qui-Gon Jinn' keyboard player continues playing the tune but softer and slower without the vocals.

"Serious matter a marriage is…These two have gone into this with both eyes open and two brains shut. Who gives this woman to be married?"

Luke steps up.

"I do."

Mara and Han giggle uncontrollably. Luke avoids making eye contact or else he will start laughing as well. Yoda continues.

"If anyone can show just cause why these two should not be married, speak or forever hold his peace they should." He waits a few second then continues. "Okay…Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, take you this woman to be your wife do you?"

"I will."

"Miss Bunny Sue Harrington, take you this Jedi to be your husband?"

"I sure will."

Yoda lets out a sigh. There is not much life in his voice.

"Hand over the rings."

Alex and Li-An each present a ring. Yoda continues.

"Okay…oooh, nice rings. Set you back some credits they must."

Isabel smiles at her husband. She remembers why she married him. Anakin smiles back at her. She can barely breathe in the dress pressing against her chest. Yoda speaks again.

"The ring a symbol of unity it is into which your two lives are now joined in an unbroken circle; wherever you go, to one another you will return."

Obi-Wan presents his ring to Bunny.

"I offer this ring as a symbol of my love and devotion. Let it always be a reminder of my vows to you."

Yoda turns to Aunt Bunny.

"Okay, blushing bride, you're up."

"Benji, Suge, I offer this ring as a symbol of my love and devotion. Let it always be a reminder of my vows to you." She slips the ring on Obi-Wan's finger.

Yoda continues.

"And now, for as much as you have made your vows, each to the other, have declared the same by giving and receiving your rings you have, I pronounce that you are husband and wife. Obi-Wan, you may kiss your bride! Okay, time's up!"

Obi-Wan and Bunny kiss. Everyone applauds. The red light over the entry doors begin to blink.

The chapel holographer takes pictures of the wedding party. The 'Qui-Gon Jinn' impersonator starts to sing in his lounge singer bravado way.

_**Our love is like a ship on the ocean**_

_**we've been sailing with a cargo full of, love and devotion**_

_**So I'd like to know where, you got the notion**_

_**said I'd like to know where, you got the notion**_

_**To rock the boat, don't rock the boat baby**_

_**rock the boat, don't tip the boat over**_

_**rock the boat, don't rock the boat baby**_

_**rock the boat-t-t-t-t**_

Anakin places a tip in a jar on top of the keyboard. 'Qui-Gon Jinn' nods and continues singing.

"Thank you very much! I love you! May the Force be with you, everybody! Goodnight!"

"_**Ease on down, ease on down the aisle**_

_**Come on and ease on down, ease on down the aisle **_

_**Don't carry nothin' 'cept your blushing bride**_

_**Come on and ease on down the aisle……ohhhhh…yeahhhhh!"**_

He ends with a flourish as his fingers fly across the keyboard. He continues until the couple is out the door. Mara is bobbing her head and dances her way out the door. Luke turns red and laughs. Han performs a disco-style pose as he points his finger in the air. Leia gives him a playful shove out the door.

The children toss rice at the newlyweds.

"Cool! Now she's legally our Aunt Bunny."

"Yeah, we're going to see them all the time."

The group files out of the chapel. Just as Anakin files out of the chapel with the others, something makes him turn around. 'Qui-Gon Jinn' Impersonator scales the keyboard with one last flourish then winks and points in Anakin's direction in the style of a disco-era lounge singer. Anakin stares for a moment then continues out the door. Another wedding party is waiting to enter. Anakin looks back once more. The chapel is empty and so is the tip jar.

Han and Nakai take more holographs of the bride and groom. Anakin takes his wife by her hand. She looks into his eyes.

"What?"

"I love you."

"I know."

The next stop is the restaurant. Anakin manages to get a room with a large round table reserved. The room is suitable for this intimate group. The small room is tastefully decorated with flowers and ribbons. It is a sharp contrast to the themed wedding chapel. Anakin whispers something to the maître'd upon arriving. The maître'd nods then leaves the room. Anakin takes a seat at the table.

'_**Birthday Wishes and Tatooine Dreams'**_

Anakin stands to make a speech once everyone is settled. He holds a glass of champagne.

"Obi-Wan, we've been through a lot together over the years. I want to tell you how happy I am for you today. You and Bunny make a wonderful couple. Bunny, you have been a saint to my family and me. My children adore you. I am pleased to have you as part of our extended family. May the Force be with you. A toast to the bride and groom."

Everyone applauds.

"Cheers!"

Dinner is served. It is almost dusk. The dual suns are due to set in an hour. The children are enjoying a crab leg dinner. The adults dine on a variety of dishes from Shaak filet, Kashyyyk Sea Bass and crispy marinated duck breast. Mara has a helping of each. She coyly looks at Nakai as she goes to the buffet table and drops a tong full of orange-flavored green beans on the pyramid of food on her plate..

"This food looks so good I can't make up my mind."

"Enjoy yourself. This is a celebration."

"You're right."

Obi-Wan stands to make his speech.

"This is truly a remarkable day. One that I never thought would come. I am pleased to be here today and see faces people I have known for a long, long time. Anakin, you are my best man and best friend, you are like a brother. We have been through good times and bad. Time has tested our friendship. Today, we have come out victorious. You have given me, remarkable godchildren. They make this galaxy a better place in which to live. Thank you, Yoda for pulling yourself from the slot machines to marry us. This wedding is one for the Jedi Archives. I also wish to thank the lovely bridal entourage. Gigi, Isabel, Leia, and Candy, you look amazing. The room is awash in pink today. Luke, Li-An, and Alex, you make wonderful escorts. Today, you helped me take the first steps into a larger world. I too have become fortunate enough to find love and I have you to thank for this glorious day and for my beautiful new wife. Bunny, I hope our married life stays as exciting as our single life has been over the years. I love you! May the Force be with us all, everyday."

"Cheers!"

Mara blows finger whistles and 'raises the roof'. Luke turns to her and laughs. Bunny stands and gives Obi-Wan a long passionate kiss.

"Oh, Suge, you're so romantic "

Luke shouts to them.

"Get a room!"

Han gulps down his champagne.

"I need something stronger to get that image out of my head." Leia elbows him hard. "What?"

"Have some respect."

Palpatine is quiet during the dinner. Everyone is up and about. A violinist arrives to serenade the newlyweds. A small band performing some dance music follows the violinist. He realizes the fanfare was not intended for him.

One of Bunny's stripper friends is seated beside him. She is like Bunny blond but a somewhat fragile version. She speaks is a soft bird-like voice.

"So, what do you do, Mr. Palpatine?"

Palpatine is surprised she is speaking to him. He clears his throat and engages in conversation.

"Me? Well, before I was ousted from office I joined a community theatre group and from there I became a popular stage actor. Do you go to the theatre?"

" No…That stuff is for smart people. I get a bad hair day if I have to think too hard."

"I see."

"This is so nice. I never had a friend who got married before. We've been friends for years. We promised that if one of us ever got married we would be sure to be part of the wedding party. Bunny has lots of friends but in a town like this, most of us are working today. It's always busy here you know. Were you ever married?"

"Uhmmm…no…no…I was too much into my career. I never truly got to enjoy life until I left office. It was humiliating at first but then I started to enjoy it."

"Humiliating?"

"Getting put out of office was humiliating I mean….I started to enjoy my life afterward."

"Oh!" She giggles. "You're a funny man."

"My grandchildren think so."

"Can I tell you a secret? I never really enjoyed myself until I met Benji and Bunny. I worked with Bunny on Coruscant when she met Obi-Wan. I never knew men could be so nice before. Not once did he try to hit on me at the club. He was in the front row every Thursday and Friday night. He was nice to all us girls. He's a real stand up guy."

"I have to admit, Obi-Wan is a good man. Since we're sharing secrets, can I tell you one?"

"Sure. Men tell me secrets all the time."

Palpatine leans in close and whispers.

"Today's my birthday."

"Really? Well happy birthday. Are you going to celebrate?"

"No…nooo…I've never celebrated it. It's too late now."

"It's never too late. What about your family?"

"They don't know…anyway, I haven't exactly been the a model parent. I was never really a father to my son. I did some unspeakable things that hurt a lot of people. No one trusts me anymore."

"Well, everyone deserves a second chance."

"I don't know about that. Tell me, child, what is your name?"

"Ginger Buffet."

"Well, Miss Buffet, you're a very nice lady. You need to find yourself a nice man and leave this town."

"Now you're talking like my father."

"You should call him."

"I think I will."

Applause can be heard around them. Obi-Wan and Bunny have already cut their wedding cake. Leia and Han are dancing. Nakai and Ouisanne dance. Anakin walks around holding the baby. Threepio compliments Ana-Lena on her pink sundress. The children are dressed for the occasion but not over-dressed. A crisp white summer dress shirt and navy shorts, white socks and navy sandals is appropriate given the weather.

Just when things have quieted down, the children gather in the corner of the room to a small table. A waiter arrives carrying another cake. This one has a cluster of fiery candles on top. Anakin goes to retrieve the old man.

"Excuse me. Hey, the children want to see you for a minute."

"Where are they?"

"Over in the corner. Come on."

Palpatine follows Anakin to the small table. The youngsters see him and their faces light up.

"Happy birthday, Gramp Palps."

"Oh, dear me! I never would have guessed. Thank you very much. How nice."

Ana-Lena points to the cake.

"Hurry up and blow them out, Palpy before the cake catches fire."

Li-An watches the fire.

"Yeah, this cake is lit up like a torch. You must be older than Yoda! His cakes never have these many candles on them."

Yoda stands off to the side laughing. The children chant.

"Are you 90, a hundred, 200, 500, 600, 700,900, 1000…?"

Anakin stops them.

"Okay, kids, that's enough. He's a year older than he was last year. Let's leave it at that."

Li-An presents him with a birthday card.

"Here, Palps, we made a birthday card for you while we were holed up in the hotel room. You should have seen mom and Leia trying to look for more parts to their dresses. It was hilarious."

Ana-Lena points out the details on the card.

"It's a picture of you relaxing by the pool. I drew the glass of lemonade so you wouldn't be thirsty."

Li-An points out something on the card.

"Alex and I drew you on the front. You're in your robe and these are your bandages."

The crayon drawing makes Palpatine smile. It is not very complimentary at all but he loves it. When he opens the card, he sees all six children's names listed. Leia writes for Kris. Ana-Lena hands Palpatine something in a handkerchief.

"This is for you, Gramp Palps."

"Oh, thank you, dear." He opens it.

"It's my baptism medal."

Anakin was not expecting this. These are sacred objects blessed by the Jedi Temple. She has had this medal since she was an infant. Li-An gives Palpatine a holograph of the two of them on the Lars' farm at the vegetable stand. Alex give him a package of strawberry seeds so Palpatine can grow fruit in his garden at the retirement cottage.

"Children, this is the best birthday ever."

Alex looks up at him.

"But you've never had one before, Palps."

"It doesn't matter. This will always be the best one…ever."

Ginger Buffet decides she wants to give the old man a gift. Is a breathy and sexy voice, she sings a song.

_Happy birthday to you_

_Happy birthday to you,_

_Happy birthday, Mr. Palpatine_

_Happy birthday to you._

Anakin shrugs.

"Well…that was special." He checks out his wife in her formfitting dress. He has a big stupid grin on his face.

"So, where did you find that number, 'Strippers R' Us?'"

"I didn't 'find' anything. Bunny told us she would surprise us so we left the salon. When we returned to the hotel, this is what we found hanging in the closet."

"You know, I can help you out of that dress."

"Really? I can barely breathe in this thing. "

"I promise, you'll breathe a lot easier after I'm done."

That night, Anakin has an extra hotel room available besides the honeymoon suite for Obi-Wan and Aunt Bunny. There is still the room he got for the bride. Yoda heads back to the casino floor. With a wave of his hand, none of the management or security staff ever recalls him being there.

Leia and Han take one of the rooms and Luke and Mara take the other. Everyone else returns to the house.

That night there is a change of room assignments. The children are sent to the room where they were original assigned. They are not pleased but are too tired to put up a fight. Palpatine sleeps on the sofa. He sets his birthday card on the end table. His gifts are displayed around it. Life as a former Emperor isn't so bad. Anakin's in-laws keep their guestroom while he and Isabel take the master bedroom. Anakin wants to try out the 'carousel bed."

They remain for a week before piling into the YUV and heading towards Mos Espa Spaceport. Before heading back to the ship, however, Anakin brings a spray of flowers to the Lars Homestead. He drives to the far side of the vaporators. Someone has arrived before them. It is Luke Leia, Han, and Mara. They wait at the monument of Shmi Skywalker.

Owen never mentioned the gravesite to the children. He did not think it was appropriate for children trying to enjoy a summer holiday to be burdened with sad stories of the past. Anakin places the flowers on the grave. Palpatine does not venture out to the site. He sees that the produce stand is still in place. He opens the big umbrella and arranges the signage. He notices Own had constructed a bench with a backrest for comfort. Palpatine figures Owen must be spending a lot more time here now.

A vehicle pulls up. It is an Imperial Trooper. Palpatine looks around. Yes, he is alone to deal with these officers. Instead of pulling out their weapons, they walk over to the table. One gets a radio call and returns to the vehicle.

"Where's the regular farmer who sits here?"

"Oh, he's with his family. Memorial service….can I help you?"

"I was looking for some melons. Do you have any for sale?"

"I can get you some if you can wait here."

"Sure…we've got a few minutes before our patrol starts."

"Wait right here…I'll be back with the best melons on Tatooine."

"Yes, this place has changed a lot. I heard stories."

"You new here?"

"I'm a rookie. I just shipped in from Kamino last month. It's not so bad out here…I see more trees coming up. The air is getting better."

"Well…I'll go get those melons, son."

Palpatine goes into the field and gathers the small but juicy melons. He sees a wheelbarrow and tosses the melons inside. He grabs some corn on the way. He hustles back to the stand. Just as he sets down the wheelbarrow, he notices that the trooper has removed his helmet. He sees what he thinks is one of his former apprentices long gone. He sees what he thinks are a series of horns sprouting from the trooper's tattooed head.

"Maul…is that, you?"

"Who?"

The trooper turns to answer the old man. Their eyes meet. Palpatine blinks. What he sees are the road-weary green eyes of a handsome young man with a normal unpainted face. The trooper's light brown hair is cropped short in uneven spikes. His smile is tired but kind.

"Sorry, you reminded me of a young man I trained many years ago. He perished just before the Clone Wars."

"Oh, I see…" The young trooper examines his helmet. "The cooling element stopped working. I was getting a headache." He reaches up and massages his scalp causing his damp hair to spike up even more.

Palpatine takes a cloth and buffs up the melons.

"Well, here they are, fresh from the patch."

"Oh, great. How much?"

"Take it. It's for all you do."

"Sorry, sir, I have to pay you. Imperial policy."

"Well, we're having a special today. They're five for 2 credits."

"Great. I'll take them."

"I'll wheel them over to your speeder."

"Thanks." The trooper places two credits on the table. Palpatine opens the cash box, lifts the spring clip, and places the bills inside. The trooper assists Palpatine in loading the melons in the trunk. The other trooper nods from the drivers' seat. The trooper tosses his helmet on the dashboard. He waves goodbye to the old man then speaks to his partner. "I need to get my helmet repaired. Something punctured the valve of my cooling unit.

"Maybe you need a haircut, rookie."

"If you say so, Sarge."

"I've seen worse trooper initiation hair chop jobs. After your probation period is up you can pull a prank on the other officers."

"At last, we will have revenge."

"There you go, rookie."

The older trooper in the driver's seat smiles. They drive off along the highway bound for Anchorhead.

Anakin and the rest of the family return from the gravesite. They find Palpatine sleeping at the stand. Owen walks over to him. The children stand around quietly watching. Owen leans over and gives him a nudge.

"Hey, wake up. What are you doing out here? You could get sunstroke."

Li-An nods.

"Yeah. He got hit already back at Uncle Ben's house."

Palpatine opens his eyes. He looks around.

"Oh, hello. Everyone is back already?"

Beru runs to get some water. Owen hands him a flask. Palpatine drinks the stops to look at everyone.

"Oh, I sold some melons and corn while you were out …" He points in the direction of the gravesite.

"You did? Where did you get them?"

"Well, from your melon patch of course."

"We finished the melon harvest a week ago. The new crop won't be up for another week."

Han whispers to Leia.

"The old man is losing it."

"Shush."

Palpatine looks around.

"Now that's ridiculous, I sold a bunch of them in the last hour. I loaded them in the wheelbarrow Look, I made two credits."

He hands Owen the dusty cash box. Owen stares at the old Sith then slowly opens the box. He looks back at the family members then at Palpatine. He shows Anakin the contents of the cash box. Mara looks over Luke's shoulder to get a peak. She starts to laugh then quickly covers her mouth. She used to intern for this man when he was Emperor. Now he is hallucinating.

Anakin walks over to Palpatine and sits beside him on the bench. It has no backrest as Palpatine had witnessed earlier. Anakin lifts the spring clip and removes something. He shows the old man the contents of the box. Anakin is holding between his fingers two dried leaves from a melon vine.

"This is all that's in there. I think you fell asleep and you thought you did these things but, as you can see, you didn't. It's okay. I think you just need some rest. Come inside with us."

Anakin and Nakai usher the old Sith into the house. The wheelbarrow is near the fence in a dried-up muddy ditch. It rained a week earlier. There were three days of blistering heat after that. The wheelbarrow has not been moved from its' spot. Luke and Han close the umbrella then look at one another.

"So, Luke, you think he's losing it?"

"I don't know, Han. He did suffer sun poisoning a week ago. Maybe he needs a medical checkup."

"If he keeps this up; he'll need more than a checkup."

"Come one, everyone is waiting for us inside."

Owen invites everyone inside for refreshments. The children give Nakai and Ouisanne the grand tour. Palpatine sits quietly. He imagines the entire family must believe he has lost touch with reality. Isabel and Beru chat. Beru gets to hold the baby. She makes a fuss over him. The droids examine the produce stand as they wait near the YUV. It is not a long visit. Artoo beeps as he collects objects in the dusty road.

They make one last stop at the Mos Espa marketplace. After checking in on Watto, Anakin returns to the parking bay, unloads the YUV rental and loads up the ship. Han drives the other rental. They meet Yoda at the parking bay. He arrives by limousine from the casino. Luke walks over to him. The Jedi Master is wearing sunglasses.

"Well, look at you, Master Yoda. You're living like a tycoon."

"Hmmm…got celebrity sunglasses to I do. Casino put me up in penthouse suite."

"What are these two cases?"

"I was lucky at the casino. Take these onboard your ship. Got to stash this under bed I do."

"You need to put it in the bank."

"And let the galaxy know how much money I have?"

"Well, keeping it under your bed isn't a good idea."

"Ask your advice I did not. Move…Get smarty-mouth to help you."

Han puts his hand on his lips and is about to speak. Leia pinches his ear.

"Don't piss him off. This is your only warning."

Han rolls his eyes and grabs one of the aluminum cases.

Anakin is ready to take off. Li-An gets to sit in the co-pilot's chair.

"Where are we going now, Dad?"

"Aren't you ready to go home?"

"I suppose but…we were having a great time…" Skippy curls upon Li-An's lap.

"I suppose we could make one last stop. You guys were pretty good on this trip. I'm proud of you, son."

"I'm proud of me too, Dad."

"Want to set the coordinates?"

"Sure."

"Set the region for Mid Rim, set sector for Chommell."

"What system, Dad?"

"Naboo, son."

They exchange glances and smile. Li-An knows the rest. He has watched his father fly this ship since he was a baby.

"You are the coolest dad ever."

"You're pretty cool yourself, Li."

This one last trip before school starts again is going to be the best. Anakin enjoyed himself too. He is going to speak to his wife about redoing the master bedroom on Coruscant. He lets Li-An take the controls. That song was still in his head.

_Our love is like a ship on the ocean_

_we've been sailing with a cargo full of, love and devotion_

_So I'd like to know where, you got the notion_

_said I'd like to know where, you got the notion…_


	141. Chapter 141 Passages

_Chapter 141_

'_Passages'_

'_Spirited Away'_

'_Employee Packages'_

Anakin had not been to the vacation house on Naboo for some time. He sends a transmission ahead to prepare the house for his arrival.

He thinks back to the family trip on Tatooine. The children thoroughly enjoyed themselves. He is happy for Obi-Wan too. He didn't mind that his old friend racked up over a million credits on home improvements and _'necessities.'_ He knew about the pool construction months ago. While sitting in his office one morning, Gladys puts through a call from Kamino Pool and Spa:

'_The subcontractor wants to know if they are installing a fiberglass or concrete liner. If so, they need a signed approval form."_

Only Obi-Wan would get away with doing something so bold.

The ship lands on Naboo late in the evening. Anakin's co-pilot is fast asleep. Crewmates under the age of 16 prove to be unreliable co-pilots.

Anakin looks at Skippy who is resting on the floor under the co-pilot's chair. The faithful droid dog lifts his head and looks up at his master. His titanium tail wages eagerly.

"Looks like it's just us two, Skippy old buddy." Anakin releases a woeful sigh after a few moments of silence. "Sorry about what happened back at Obi-Wan's house. You did try to tell me the old man was locked in the car. I need to listen better…still…you have to admit it was pretty funny."

Anakin glances over at Li-An who is sleeping peacefully in a chair three sizes too big for his small body. A soft smile creeps across Anakin's face. He tilts his head in the direction of the co-pilot's chair as he talks to Skippy.

"Some co-pilot, huh?...Can't even stay awake for one mission."

Li-An does not flinch while his father talks about him peaceful slumber. His small hands are curled up under his left cheek. Anakin remembers watching him sleep like this when Li –An was a newborn. He held onto theses precious moments because he missed them when the twins were first born. Isabel used to wake up at night to discover that her husband had left the room. She knew where he was. He stood over the crib in the nursery watching his little miracle. Sometime he would stay for hours or until Li-An would awake for a feeding or a diaper change. Now, eight years later, Anakin is still fascinated. His third child is growing up but he still sleeps like the infant he used to watch in the wee hours of the morning.

The ship pulls into the private docking space at Theed Spaceport. Anakin opens the hatch to greet the crew waiting on the tarmac. There are six redcaps from the Imperial fleet. They stand at attention as Anakin steps down to get a briefing. His co-pilot is asleep on his shoulder. The leader of the grounds crew speaks first.

"Good evening, your lordship. Your ground transportation has arrived. And the cargo detail is ready to unload your baggage as we speak."

"Thank you."

Li-An lifts his head from his father's shoulder and rubs his eyes. He looks back at the ship.

"We made a pretty good landing, huh?"

"Yeah…it was as if you were doing it with your eyes closed."

"I fell asleep didn't I?"

"It's okay, son…we'll just have to make sure to get enough rest before we take off next time."

"I'm sorry, Dad, I let you down."

"Apology accepted."

"Can you let me down now? How do you expect me to win the respect of the troops if my Dad has to carry me around?"

"You have a point." He lets Li-An down as they leave the docking bay. Li-An yawns again. He can barely keep his eyes open. Anakin starts walking and realizes he is alone. Li-An is standing twenty feet behind him asleep standing up. He walks back and lifts his son back into his arms. "You'll get their respect next time."

Threepio walks into the sleeping cabin. Isabel and the rest of the children are just waking from a nap. Her parents help to bring the children off the ship. It is not a long ride to the vacation house on the lake. Palpatine remains quiet during the drive. He is still reeling from embarrassment over the episode at the Lars farm. Luckily, for him, it is late and everyone is exhausted from the days' activities and travel.

It has been years since the former Emperor traveled to Naboo. He used to own a retreat there, which also served as his command center. His years in the political arena did not permit him the leisure of socializing with the locals. It was just as well because it would just get in the way of his taking control of the galaxy. With his ties severed, his social life was limited to several clandestine encounters to satisfy his carnal needs. Romance was almost nonexistent. During the overthrow of his regime, Anakin captured this piece of real estate and put it under the control of the Naboo government. It has since been converted into housing for many displaced families during the Clone Wars.

It felt strange being on his home world. He is certain that a 'welcoming committee' will not be waiting for him in Theed. It is a good thing that they arrived under the cloak of darkness.

The ride is quiet. Nakai sits up front with Anakin. Isabel sits behind them with Krizstan and Ana-Lena. Her mother sits in the seat behind her with the boys. Palpatine is stuck on seat behind the boys, and sandwiched between the droids. He feels he is being watched. Something or someone is breathing behind him. He can feel it over his shoulder. Palpatine turns slightly to his right. The creature is looking directly at him. Threepio turns to see why Palpatine is in such a tizzy.

"Skippy, will you please sit still you titanium mutt!"

The droid dog leaps over Palpatine's shoulder then jumps into his lap panting in his face.

"Will someone get him off of me before he tears out my throat?"

Anakin peers into his rearview mirror.

"Skippy…Sit! He won't hurt you, he's very gentle."

The little droid dog leaps from Palpatine's lap into the seat in front of them. He lands in Li-An's arms. Skippy looks over the seat at the old man. Palpatine finds this bothersome. He waves his hand at the pooch in an effort to shoo him away.

"I don't like the way he looks at me." He fans his hands at Skippy. "Go away! Turn around! Anakin, this dog is a menace."

"Skippy, turn around before you have nightmares."

The droid dog obeys and curls up on Li-An's lap.

The YUV turns into a driveway. Palpatine had never been to the house. This is his first invitation. Decorative torchlight's line the walkway and illuminate the house. It is lovely. He imagines the reflection of the house can be seen on the water. Cypress, beech, and pine trees surround the house. He can see the silhouettes of the tall trees from the headlights of the YUV. There is also the fresh scent of mountain wildflowers.

Security sensors trigger the exterior houselights. Anakin opens the drivers' side door and everyone else follows. They file inside. Anakin, Nakai, and Threepio return to the vehicle to retrieve only the items they will need for the first night. They will come back for the rest at daylight.

It is room assignment time. To Palpatine this feels like POW camp. Anakin sends Isabel and the children upstairs. They know where they're going. He escorts his in-laws to their room. Palpatine is the last to get a room. Anakin makes a note on his data pad. He looks at the travel-weary old man.

"Okay…you're upstairs at the end of the hall near the linen closet."

"Are you sure it's not the linen closet you're giving me, Anakin? You haven't exactly been sympathetic towards my mishaps during this trip."

"Don't start with me. It's late and I'm tired."

Palpatine is wary of his room. He stares at Anakin for a moment then starts up the steps. He locates the room at the end of the hall as Anakin said it would be. His bags are parked at the door. He turns the knob and enters. The motion detector activates the light.

"Oh…this is quite nice…lovely." He takes a 'tour.' He has a private bath…even better.

The room is fit for royalty. The furniture is traditional and beautiful. The bath is designed with the same care with hand-cut marble and granite from Geonosis. The faucets are titanium and gold. He imagines that he must have the best room in the house. For once, he feels truly special. He turns on the water and washes his face. He remembers the clean, pure Naboo water. It felt refreshing on his aging skin. The freshly laundered towels felt good too. He plans to take a full shower in the morning. For now, at this late hour, he wants to sleep.

The bed linens are soft and smell of sweet lavender from the verdant Gallo Mountainside. His head sinks into the soft down filled pillow as he prepares to sleep. For all the beauty this room possessed, Palpatine could not sink into a blissful slumber. The problem is staring down at him from the ceiling.

"Oh, bother!" He lies on his back staring at this 'eye opener.'

The ceiling is divided into numerous triangular-shaped panels; each panel is arranged in a ways as if to tell a story. In the center is a large circular panel filled with several cherubim surrounding the heavenly image of Qui-Gon Jinn. The Jedi Master has his hand outstretched towards the hand of another heavenly image, that of Jedi Master Mace Windu. The figures appear to turn and look down from the heavens, directly at the former Emperor. The old man sees another panel inserted above the cherubim. It is an image of a young man but it looks incomplete. Whoever did this work did not finish painting in the legs and left arm. The figure seems to be floating or, perhaps falling. There is no expression of fear on his face. The seems serene but sad. Palpatine cannot turn away from the images no matter how much he tries. He lies awake for most of the night while the rest of the house sleeps. Sleep was not his ally tonight.

Morning comes. Palpatine is the last one to come downstairs. Everyone has left the breakfast table. Isabel is emptying the dishwasher. She puts the dishes away. She sees him walk into the room. She smiles. Isabel has been trying to be as cordial as possible towards the old Sith.

"Good morning."

"Good morning, Isabel. Where is everyone?"

"Anakin and my father took the children for a canoe ride on the lake."

"Oh…I see."

"We didn't want to wake you. Anakin thought you might have had trouble sleeping in a strange house. Was the bed comfortable?"

"The bed was fine. It was what was on the ceiling that kept me awake."

"Really? I'm sorry. I'll have Anakin look at the room when he gets back."

She pours him some tea and prepares a light breakfast. She urges him to eat. Her mother joins them at the table. They figure he should have company while he has breakfast.

Anakin is enjoying his morning on the lake with Nakai and the children. Li-An assists with the paddling. Anakin leans back on one elbow as his lets his right hand hang over the side. The cool water feels good as the currents rush by. Ana-Lena and Alex sit between his legs. Nakai has the baby strapped to his chest with his yellow life vest. The children point out point to all the flora and fauna on the hills surrounding the lake.

The Naboo explorers return to the house in time for lunch. There are new people at the house. The children are eager to greet them.

"Luke!"

The youngsters clamor around their hero brother. Mara walks in from the kitchen. She is nibbling on a carrot stick and a cup of creamy yogurt dipping sauce. She whirls the carrot stick in the cup then munches on it some more.

"Oh, the _'Ewoks'_ have returned."

Alex responds.

"Oh, look, it's Jedi greedy guts."

"You're just mad 'cause I made you wash your body, little boy."

"You're bossy."

"You're still a little kid."

"You have red hair."

"Touché, my miniature Jedi."

Li-An walks over to her.

"Just so you know our dad put you in the room next to ours. They'll be no hanky panky during your stay here."

"Who are you? The Jedi _'morals'_ committee?"

"I'm speaking on behalf of the head of this household."

"Relax, Reverend Li; I won't embarrass anyone."

"I'm just checking. Oh, and the kitchen closes at 10'oclock, so don't try to raid the refrigerator."

"Anything else, Mr. Prison Warden?"

Leia and Han arrive in time to eat. Han takes a seat at the table. Anakin calls the children.

"I want you kids to have your lunch before we go out."

"Why? Where are we going?"

There is silence. After a moment to process what their father says, out of three little children come screams of pure elation. Alex goes running like a wild child through the house.

"Aaaaahhhhh! We're going to Gungan Wild Water Kingdom! Yaaah!"

Ana-Lena follows him. She jumps up and down.

"I need my pink sparkly swim suit! Mommy, where are you?"

Isabel is carrying a pitcher of fresh lemonade to the table.

"I'm right here…what's with all the noise?"

"Daddy's taking us to Gungan Wild Water Kingdom!"

"I know. Daddy wanted to surprise you."

Li-An has an idea.

"We can skip lunch. Let's go now!"

"No one is skipping lunch. Sit down."

After a hastily eaten lunch, Li-An and his siblings line up at the front door for their father.

"Dad! Come on! We're going to miss everything!"

"Cool your heels. We'll leave in due time."

"Well, we don't want to _'do time'_ waiting here at the door."

After hearing this remark from Li-An, Anakin makes them wait. The children sulk as they sit on the step outside. Alex sighs.

"I don't think we're going anywhere today."

"If we ever do make it to Gungan Water Park, all the other kids will have ridden the rides five times or more. It's just not fair."

"I thought Dad was cool but he doesn't understand little kids at all. I think he lied to us about his being a kid."

"This is the worst day ever."

"Yeah."

Ana-Lena listens to her brothers complain about their father.

"Maybe he's afraid of water."

Alex also has a theory.

"He's afraid of hot stuff."

Li-An squashes both 'theories'.

"No he's not; he barbecues all the time."

Someone calls them.

"Hey! Why are you three still sitting there? Are we going to Gungan Wild Water Kingdom or not?"

Three forlorn youngsters look up. It is their father. He stands on the driver's side of the YUV. Their towels and other gear are already packed in the storage compartment. He dangles the ignition card in his hand. Anakin is wearing a fresh pair of khaki shorts and light blue polo shirt. He is wearing his new sandals. He takes a casual glance at his watch and then examines his fingernails.

The children stand but their legs are not moving. Anakin waits patiently.

"I guess somebody doesn't want to be among the first to get on the new Plasma Water Bubble ride."

"No! Don't leave us!"

They sprint to the YUV and pile inside. There is another passenger in the vehicle.

"Hey, Palps! You're coming with us to the water park?"

"Only to watch. My joy is just to watch you young ones have a good time."

"Why?"

"Your father invited me."

Anakin drives off with the three water babies and dusty gramps.

When they arrive at the water park, it is bustling with visitors. A host at the gate greets them. He is a super-hyped twenty-something college student. He is anxious to welcome them.

"Oh, Mr. Skywalker, we've been expecting you. Welcome to Gungan Wild Water Park, the best water park anywhere in the galaxy. My name is Chip and I'll be your host during your stay."

"Thank you." Anakin rolls his eyes.

"Are these your kids?"

"No, I borrowed them from another family."

"Oh, really? I was told you had three young children. Well, anyway, here are your wristbands. They'll give you unlimited access to all the rides and venues. I'll escort you to your first ride."

"Thanks."

They are introduced to another park employee.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Skywalker. My name is Finn and I'll be your towel host. So, kiddies, ready for some cool water fun today?"

"Yes"

"Great, let's get started. What ride do you want to start out on first?"

"The Plasma Ball Water Bubble!"

"You kids are daredevils I see."

Anakin smiles down on his precious younglings.

"No, just devils."

"Hey, Dad!"

"Sorry."

Finn waves his arms for the group to follow him.

"Well, kids, let's go!" He sees Palpatine. "Who's the stiff?"

Alex smiles.

"He's our gramp palps. He's going on the rides with us."

Palpatine smiles nervously as he looks around at the rides in motion. Children screaming as they spin whirl and sail on waves of rapidly moving water on colorful rubber tubes.

"Great. You'll need adult supervision to get on the Plasma Bubble."

Li-An takes the old man by the hand.

"Palps, you're going to love this ride, it's super cool!"

"It sounds thrilling, Li-An." The old man smiles. He starts to feel better now, not just because his grandson invited him for a day of childlike fun but also because his skin has healed and the symptoms of his sun poisoning have subsided. He is wearing khaki Bermuda shorts, and a purple, green, and white tropical print shirt. Leia bought the shirt for him while one her honeymoon. She thought it was garish enough to make him the center of attention. Palpatine did not see it this way. He was so thrilled that Leia thought to buy him a souvenir, the pattern did not matter. He tops off his 'ensemble' with a safari hat to prevent anymore sun-related mishaps.

Palps and Anakin take the children on the low-impact kiddie rides first. They sit on a floating Naboo throne that whirls at a pleasant counter-clockwise speed. The shushing sound of the water beneath them comes in monotonous five-second intervals. Alex and Li-An are bored. Ana-Lena curls up close to her father. She looks up at him and smiles blissfully. Li-An makes a loud sigh as he looks at his father from the corner of his eye. Anakin points to him.

"Don't give me that look. We have the rest of the afternoon to go on the other rides."

Palpatine smiles. "Li-An, this is a delightful ride! Simply delightful…monotonous but delightful. It's so peaceful." He notices that this does nothing to make Li-An feel better about the boring ride. He leans in as if to confide in the young boy. "I know what I'll do…I'll accompany you on the next ride…your choice. How's that?"

Li-An answers but the excitement is missing from his voice.

"Okay."

Anakin does not indulge the boys. Their turn will come; but this is 'family time' now. Li-An is not going to commandeer this day. After the third kiddie ride, the children are down to their swimsuits. Isabel's parents arrive and catch up with them. They take Ana-Lena. Anakin stands with Palpatine and the boys.

"Well? Your choice, boys."

As he says this, and while Li-An and Alex decide what ride to start on, a familiar voice calls out his name. Visitors pass by and look in Anakin's direction.

"Hey, Ani my mani! Yousa here on Naboo! And yousa bringing tiny Jedi kiddies to wonderful world of Gungan Playland. Theysa be having tons o' fun. Ooooh, yousa bring old Sith pappy! Heesa here for family reunion?"

Jar-Jar give the Dark Lord a long, warm hug almost listing him off his feet. Anakin pat Jar-Jar on the back. He finally breaks away.

"Hey, Jar-Jar…The old man is tagging along. I'm here being a good dad to my kids. They're out here for a good time. What are you doing here? Who's manning the personnel office at headquarters?"

"Nutin' happenin.' Imperial officers got nutin' to do. Theysa spendin' moowi time on intergalactic web singles chat room at the barracks. Meesa layoff 90 percent of staff. No needin' to pay iffa theysa not workin' to keep galaxy safe. Yousa got the galaxy in balance. No more disturbances in the Force. Yousa good Dark Lord. Remember years ago when you went ape crazy with mean ol' Palpy at yousa side? All the killing and dying? Well…weesa at peace now. Meesa being good business manager. Messa look at bottom line. Cutbacks save moowi money. Spent all night at office sending pink slips. Ani, Yousa beesa so proud of Jar-Jar! No needin' to thanks Jar-Jar. Meesa just happy to help."

Anakin blinks once as the happy Gungan chatters on about his 'executive orders.' Anakin realizes he will need to place a call to Gladys. He is imagining his worst nightmare, hundreds of troopers and officers opening their latest paycheck only to discover a layoff notice inside the envelope. Anakin does not want the 501st Legion or the newly integrated Rebel Alliance paying him a visit at his summer home and he does not want picketing on the plaza in front of headquarters. And of course the press will be all over this. He can see the headlines now, _'Dark Lord Abandons Troops.'_ _'Pink Slips Sink Ships' ' Dark Lord is Commander-Cheap'._ There would be talks about the troops forming a union. He has a bad feeling about this.

Fortunately, for Anakin, he has the best damned Executive Imperial Secretary in the galaxy. When the notices were sent out, Gladys contacted the payroll office and the mailroom. She immediately countered the incident with a memo citing a 'clerical error' and expressed her apologies on behalf of her boss. There was no need to bother Anakin about this.

Anakin clenches his fists at his sides then takes a deep breath. He had not realized he had been holding it for some time. He continues to look at Jar-Jar.

"Oh…that's news."

"Meesa on summer break. Meesa laid off too! Got theesa bombastic gig as amusement park ride opawata. Yeah, meesa get to eat all Naboo clams meesa want."

Anakin is speechless.

"I don't know what to say. Sounds great." Anakin remembers what his wife told him to do when he feels he is about to lose control and kill someone. This is effective. He can't argue that. But, he knows, holding in all of these feelings is giving him an ulcer. He just knows it. It would feel so much better to unleash his anger and kill somebody. Jar-Jar keeps talking.

"So, Ani, yousa gonna put Jedi kiddies on crazy water rides? Does no-nonsense wife know?"

Palpatine is growing impatient.

"Jar-Jar, do you mind? We are trying to show the children a good time. We don't give a bloody damn about your ridiculous part-time job."

"Yousa looka all pasty, grampy. More than usually. Wheresa yousa been all summer? Ebrybody else got healthy summer glow. Yousa still looka like somebody scared the _'sith'_ outta yousa. "

Li-An voluntarily answers.

"He's been helping us sell melons by the road. We were on Tatooine."

Alex nods.

"We're teaching Gramp Palps how to say grace and say his prayers."

"Prayers? Heesa need more than prayer to help him. Looka heesa wardrobe! Whoosa wear white sock wit da old man sandals?"

Anakin is offended.

"I'm not wearing old man sandals!"

"Meesa not takin' about you, great lord of the galaxy!" He had not notices Anakin's feet up until now. Now that Anakin brought it up. Jar-Jar glances down at Anakin's feet then smiles. "Hah-Ha! Yousa got Jedi monk hippie sandals!" His laugh subsides, as he knows he has said too much. He covers his mouth. "Oopsa…"

Anakin stares blankly at the Gungan then smiles himself.

"It's okay, Jar-Jar. I laughed too when I saw them but they feel good on my feet and my legs don't ache anymore. My wife bought them.

"Oh, sheesa smart. Don't want no flat-foot dark lord rubbing big feet all over her in fancy bed late at night."

Anakin quickly covers Alex's ears.

"Do you mind? Children here!"

The children are giggling. Li-An looks up at his father.

"That's okay, Dad. Aunt Bunny told us all about the birds and the bees."

"The birds and the _who_?"

"Sex."

Some passing visitors turn their heads. Li-An continues.

"She told us lots of stuff."

"Well, Bunny needs to concentrate on stuff she knows. What does she know about sex?" Everyone looks at him. He forgets that this is her field of expertise. "You know what I mean."

Palpatine is losing patience.

"Anakin, this is no place to discuss such matter; in front of these innocent children no less."

Li-An and Alex beg to differ.

"We're not innocent!"

Anakin, frustrated and eager to change the topic, rubs his forehead and then looks at his sons.

"No, you're not. Let's get you kids on a ride." He looks up at the ride where Jar-Jar is taking passengers. "Jar-Jar, what ride is this?"

"Theesa beesa bombastic Supersonic Plasma Corkscrew Water Ride. Issa beesa big hit at park."

Li-An and Alex are wide-eyed and excited.

"Oooh, Dad, can we get on this ride? Please?"

"Gee…I don't know, Li…" Anakin watches as older kids go sailing high-speed along the corkscrew slide. Multitudes of voices screaming and laughing as the fast water carries them from the top to the fast-moving pool below.

Jar-Jar places his hand on a painted plywood cutout showing an outline of a child. A height grid is painted along the edges.

"Yousa needin' to beesa deesa tall to ride and then yousa need adult supervision."

Palpatine takes another look at the ride. He calculates the risk factors and then decides he is ready to volunteer.

"Li-An, I'll be glad to…"

Just as the old man is about to volunteer, he is interrupted by someone walking up behind them.

"There you guys are. You kids thinking of getting on that thing?"

Li-An and Alex are excited.

"Look! It's Han!"

Han and Leia join the group. Anakin looks at them.

"I thought you had changed your mind about coming."

"We made a stop to see if Leia's cousin wanted to come along."

"Oh."

Han turns his attention back to the boys.

"Sooo…you up for this, kid?"

"Sure! Dad, I want to ride with Han."

Alex joins in.

"Me too!"

"Li-An, stay close to Han. Han, don't let my kid get hurt. You're going to beg to be encased in Carbonite if anything happens to my child. "

Leia rolls her eyes.

"Oh, Daddy, will you please stop with the threats? He's not going to lose the boys."

"I promise to take good care of him Mr. S. They've sort of grown on me, like a couple of mynocks."

Anakin has second thoughts about the ride. He gently places his hand on Alex's chest and draws him close.

"Alex you stay with me."

Alex tugs at his father's wrist.

"Dad, I want to go with Han and Li."

Jar-Jar looks at the child then points to the height grid once more.

"Yousa still too small…"

Palpatine takes this opportunity to volunteer one more time as he leans over to speak to Alex.

"Alex, I'll get on the water ride with you."

He starts to pass the turnstile to board the ride. Leia is holding Li-An's clothing as he strips down to his swim trunks. Jar-Jar holds his hand out to block Palpatine's entry pass the turnstile. He looks down at Alex.

"Yousa too small, mini Ani …even with unreliable safety net of crotchety ancient Sith gramp pappy. Sorry tiny Jedi."

Palpatine wishes he had his powers to strike down the chatty Gungan. He wastes no time expressing his outrage.

"How dare you call me old!"

"No…meesa no callin'you old. Meesa say yousa ancient. Meesa got anudder chart to prove Jar-Jar point."

Jar-Jar pulls a new plywood stencil from behind the gate. It is an outline of a cloaked figure wielding a scythe. There is a meter that measures age.

"See? Yousa too rickety for deesa ride. Water Park not insured for aging Sith lord. Yousa besting be sittin' over there on dah bench."

Alex looks up at his father. He does not cry but Anakin feels his son is about to.

"Dad, please? There's nothing for me to do but watch everyone else have fun. I want to go on the ride with Li and Han."

Leia looks at her father.

"Dad, I would go but I just got my hair done."

"No one told you to go get your hair done on the same day you visit a water park."

"Will you just go!"

"Don't yell at me. I'm still your father." He looks at Jar-Jar. "Jar-Jar, looks like I'm going to join the kids on this thing."

Anakin goes to the changing cabin and removes his shirt and shorts. He emerges wearing blue swim trunks. Finn is waiting at the door. Anakin returns a menacing glare at the escort. He does not need to be shadowed. The VIP Escort must be an acronym for _'__**V**__ery __**I**__rritating __**P**__resence.' _Jar-Jar is excited.

"Ani, yousa going to like it moowi much!"

"Yeah… come on, Ally; let's get soaked."

Alex smiles.

"Thanks, Dad! Han, Li, wait for us; we're going on the ride too!"

Anakin makes it to the top of the ramp with Alex. Han and Li-An are sitting on the top. Anakin takes Alex and places him on his lap.

"Dad, I want to sit in front like Li-An."

"I don't need your mother riding my ass because I didn't hold onto you."

"Ooooh, Daddy…you said ass."

"So did you. What are we going to do, tell on one another? Your mother will make us both suffer. Let's go."

The children, Han and Anakin careen down the spiral slide. They scream like the other visitors. Anakin enjoys this. They get back on the ride after plunging into the pool.

"Woohoo! That's what I'm talking about! That was cool!"

Alex runs back up the platform to keep up with his father.

"Dad! Wait for me! I'm the one who needs supervision."

"Oh yeah…right. Hurry up. I want to catch that big wave near the top."

Meanwhile, Leia sits on the bench with the old man. Leia looks at her nails then scans the park to catch all of the park activity. She avoids eye contact with the old Sith. The awkward moment soon ends when she looks at him from the corner of her eye.

"So…how are you doing?"

"Quite well. Thank you for asking, Leia. It's so thoughtful of you to ask."

"Yeah…that's me…The sensitive, caring granddaughter. Nice shirt."

"This old thing? Just kidding. I'm glad you noticed. You just gave this to me as a souvenir from your honeymoon."

"Alright, I remember! So, how's life at the old folks home?"

"Okay I guess. And I'm not in an 'old folks' home as you imply. I am in an independent living retirement community. Besides, I've been on the road with your father all summer as you are well aware. I don't know how those old fossils are doing. I've got a life."

"Okay, don't get touchy. Sooo…when are you going back?"

"If you are asking when my holiday is over, it's as soon as we return to Coruscant. I do have a career you know."

"Oh, right…the theatre of the absurd."

"Can't you say anything nice to me? Luke always says nice things to me. Why can't you kids cut me a break for once? I've been making an effort. I've learned so much from being around all of you."

"Why aren't you on the rides?"

"Your pushy groom beat me to it."

"Well go on the ride alone."

"All the other grandparents are with their grandchildren. I would look foolish."

Leia checks out his outfit then grins.

"You know, you're too young to be so hostile. I thought once you were married you would have mellowed."

"What are you trying to say?"

Palpatine flinches.

"Nothing. You're not going to hit me, are you?"

"No. You want me to?"

"I am a simple man living on a pension who just wants to live in peace."

Leia fumbles with her E-pod. She barely listens to what the old Sith is saying. She ponders for a moment them decides she will indulge him until Han and her father return with the boys.

"Sooo…what's the name of your new play?"

Palpatine's face lights up. He is pleased to see Leia take interest in his career.

"Oh, it's a delightful show! It's called "Coruscant Gardens." It's about a father and his crippled son who live in a rundown space station overrun with cats. They wax poetic about the Great War and how their lives could have been…"

"Ohhhh…so it's a comedy."

"Anyhoo…suffice it to say, I'll be back at work on stage so I won't have much time to spend with the family."

"Well that sounds wonderful."

"Does that mean you'll come see me?"

"Why?"

"I thought you enjoyed watching me perform."

"Do you die in the end?"

"No…"

"Well then, I'll have to think about it."

She sits back and places the ear buds in her ears then adjusts the volume to drown out the screams from the riders and the ramblings of the old man sitting next to her. Several minutes later, she feels wet hands on her white jeans. She makes eye contact with the culprit.

"Oh, it's you. Ride over so fast?"

Alex is dripping from head to toe.

"It was so cool! Dad was screaming like a girl!" He leans in close to his big sister. "So, you want to go on the next ride with us?"

"It's more fun watching you and your brother scream your heads off."

"Please?"

"No! And stop dripping all over me."

"You're a party pooper."

"Tough."

"I love you, Leia." He places his wet head on her lap. Someone else walks over to her.

"Ohhh, Lei-a…"

She sees the next visitor approaching her with a bright green plastic pail filled with water. She gives him fair warning.

"Don't even think about it if you want to live to graduate from the academy."

Li-An is disappointed about not being able to empty the pail on her.

"Daddy says you shouldn't threaten people."

Anakin grabs the pail.

"Li-An, leave your sister alone. If she wants to be antisocial, so be it; besides, she just got her hair done. Come on, let's get on another ride."

"Okay…Han, give Dad the map. Where's the 'Kamino High Seas Ride?"

Han decides to read the map himself instead of passing it over to his father-in-law.

"I'll find it. I'm good at this stuff…"

Anakin rips the map from Han.

"I got this. You may be 'Han the Explorer' but I'm in charge here. Hmmm…" He examines the map then looks up at all the rides around them. The fluorescent green pail swings gently on his arm. "Oh! There it is! Oops!"

He points in the direction of a glass-enclosed sphere where a ride takes you through a replica of Tipoca City and then jettisoned out onto the high seas on a hydraulic craft to simulate a rough ride on the water.

Anakin forgets he has the pail in his hand as he inadvertently empties the contents on Leia. Her crisp white outfit is soaked. Her hair is wet. Everyone is speechless. Anakin immediately apologizes.

"Ohhh…sweet pea, I am so sorry…"

"Daddy! What's wrong with you?"

"It was a mistake…your hair still looks okay…" He tries, without success to pat her hair in place. He starts to smile but he notices something that displeases him more. "Are you wearing underwear?"

"Daddy!"

Han laughs. Passersby stop to gawk. He stops laughing. Han sends them on their way.

"Can I help you?"

Anakin senses Leia's anger and decides not it fuel the fire. He plops the pail on Palpatine's lap then ushers his two sons along.

"Hey, Li, Alex…come on…Let's go so we can catch the next ride."

Han does not think it is in his best interest to hang around either. He gives her one of his dumb looks when he is trying to get out of a bad situation.

"So…we're good, right?" Leia gives him a dirty look. Han turns and catches up with Anakin and the kids. "Hey, wait up."

"Scared of your wife, Solo?"

"No…not me. We're equal partners in our relationship. Unlike you, I'm secure in my relationship."

"What did you say?"

"Your wife loves you unconditionally…faults and all. That's a good thing."

The VIP escort awkwardly hands Leia a towel to dry her face. He watches as she attempts to blot the excess water from her now translucent pants. She looks at him.

"Get out of here. Beat it, Poindexter!"

Palpatine lets out a sigh and looks around.

"It's so warm today; you'll dry up in no time. If you were wearing underwear it would take longer…"

"Will you shut up about whether or not I'm wearing underwear?"

Leia sees someone approaching them. Palpatine's eyes light up.

"Well, isn't this a delight. Hello, Luke."

"Hey, folks…Leia, what the heck happened to you?"

"Don't ask. You're just getting here?"

"Mara was hungry so we stopped to get something on the way over."

Mara is eating a soft serve ice cream. Leia looks over in the direction of an ice cream concession stand nearby.

"Mara, what do you have, a space slug inside you?"

"It's hot out here. That pizza we had on the way over wasn't filling at all. Soo… looks like you've being enjoying the water park so far. Why didn't you put on your swimsuit?"

"If you must know, I'm already wearing it. Happy?"

"Oh…why did you wear white?"

"Luke, get your girlfriend out of my way before she winds up wearing her ice cream."

"Mara, please?" Luke asks the guide to point him in the direction of Anakin and the kids.

"Okay…Calm down." Mara takes another lick of her ice cream then turns her attention to Palpatine. "Hey, Palps, how the hell are you?"

"I'm just fine, Mara. How are you my dear? I miss having you work for me."

"Oh yeah…those were the days. Thanks for the recommendations you sent a few years ago but I couldn't really use them since I was accepted back into the Jedi Order and all."

"Oh…yes…just before my son overthrew me and restructured the company. We had good times back then, didn't we?"

"You had your moments."

"I had all of you delightful interns. Darth Vectivus's grandson Vecti Junior… Craul…you were all good kids. Whatever happened to him? He just disappeared suddenly. None of my former interns has kept in touch. So sad. but, Mara dear, you are almost part of the family now. This is wonderful. Have you and my grandson set a date yet?"

Mara crunches on the remaining piece of cone before answering.

"No date yet. Luke's going on a mission to Raxis Prime. We'll have a date set as soon as he gets back. So, what are you going to be doing when we go back home?"

"I will be back on stage rehearsing my new play."

Mara expresses surprise and mock delight.

"Oh really? Get out!"

"Leia and I were just discussing it. I hope you come on opening night."

"I sure will. Last time I went to your show, it was awesome. I almost choked on my sandwich. "

He watches as she cleans her fingers with the napkin from the ice cream cone.

"You know, Mara, you're a lovely girl…don't you think you should take it easy with the snacks? You're going to want to fit into your wedding dress."

"I'll be fine. Master Yoda says a have the metabolism of a scurrier. I never gain weight."

"Still…must you eat during my performances?"

"What?"

"It's…how shall I put it? It's distracting…and a bit un-lady-like and inconsiderate. What happened to that charm school you were going to? Obviously, they aren't done with you. I'm only saying this as a concerned adult."

"Are you insulting me?"

"No…no…no…You're a lovely girl. What size are you…size 6?"

"I'm a size 2, old man!"

"All I'm saying is that…"

"Listen, old man…I'm trying to be nice to you because I used to work for you."

"I took you in after you were expelled from the Jedi Academy."

"Which was partly your fault. I finally got back in, no thanks to you."

"I had your best interest in mind; just as I had for Craul, Krull, Zod, and Exar. Such sweet kids….so dedicated to their work. Always eager to kill…ahem…_learn_ new things. They were among the best and the brightest. I miss them dearly."

Leia giggles to herself as Mara and Palpatine argue. Luke returns. He has stripped down to his swim trunks. Luke points

"Hey, what's going on?"

"The old corpse is fighting with your girlfriend."

"Awww…man…Has he been sitting here the whole time?"

"Yes. Why? Are you going to take him with you?"

"Heck no. I thought you were keeping him company."

"Daddy stuck me with him. I think I'm ready to get on one of these rides now. If I sit with him one minute longer, I'll be ready to kill him. And I don't want to hear Daddy complaining that I've been mean to him."

Anakin walks over as Leia, Mara, and Luke prepare to select a ride to go on. His in-laws and Ana-Lena are with him. Ana-Lena runs over to Leia.

"Hi, Leia! You're going to get on the rides with us? We're having so much fun!"

"I'm thinking about it. I'm already wet; I may as well. Hi, Nana, Hey, Pop."

Nakai and Ouisanne are thrilled to see that their two step-grandchildren have decided to join them. They give each of them a hug.

"Leia, Luke you finally made it. Hello, Mara dear."

"Hey. Great to see you guys. So, are we getting on one of these rides or what?"

Luke takes the lead.

"Yeah…come on, _Red_…let's go."

Mara follows and slips her hand down the back of Luke's swim trunks.

Anakin shakes his head then glances over at Palpatine sitting on the bench. He is about to speak to the old man when he hears someone politely speak to him.

"Your Lordship, what a surprise! I didn't expect to see you so soon after your daughter's wedding."

"Oh, hello, Captain Needa, Mrs. Needa."

"Seems as if we had the same idea this summer."

"Well, you finally took my advice and went on a family vacation."

Palpatine joins the conversation.

"Isn't that just like my son? He gives such imperial advice…I was just telling him the other day…"

Anakin stares at him.

"You know what? You've been on this bench too long. Why don't you go with the others?"

"But I'm finally getting used to sitting here and it'll be great to hash over the old times with Sergeant Needum..."

Anakin tries not to lose patience with the old Sith.

"It's Captain Needa. And '_You'_ should go now before Luke and Leia leave you behind." Anakin calls the twins. "Luke! Leia…"

Leia speeds up.

"Keep walking before he catches us."

Anakin calls them again. Luke turns and then starts back towards the bench.

"Yeah, Dad? "

"I'm going to sit here with the Needa's. Be a good son and take your grandfather with you."

"But what do you want me to do with him?"

"You can have fun with your girlfriend later."

"I was going to go…" The father and son exchange blank stares. Luke gives in. He waves his hand for Palpatine to follow. "Alright! Come on, Gramps, let's go."

Palpatine shuffles close behind Luke. Leia and Mara wait far ahead of them with their hands on their hips. This is going to slow them down.

Anakin continues his conversation with Captain Needa.

"They love showing the old man a good time. So…Captain, Is this your first trip to Naboo?"

"As a tourist? Yes. My son wanted to come here. It seems to be all the rage this summer with the kids."

Ana-Lena holds onto her grandmother's hand and swings her arm. She pretends to be shy as she clings close to Ouisanne. She sneaks a wave at Cort Needa. He waves back. Anakin catches the boy waving at his daughter.

"You two want to get back on the rides?"

"Yes."

"Needa, you know my in-laws, Mr. and Mrs. Nor?"

"Oh, yes, we met at the wedding. Hello. Is your wife here?"

"No…she's at the vacation house with the baby. They're spending some quality time together."

Anakin's in-laws volunteer to take the children. Mrs. Needa leaves with them. Anakin and Needa sit on the bench.

"So, what's up?"

"I heard about the mass layoffs."

Anakin feels his breakfast and lunch repeating on him. He takes another breath then a faint smile creeps across his face.

"Yeah…I heard..."

"Luckily it was a clerical error and it was all resolved."

"I'm sure you know, Captain, that I would never do anything like that."

"Oh, of course not, sir. I know you support the troops."

Meanwhile Leia, Luke, and Mara are deciding what ride to take. They see a bunch of 10 and 12 year-olds waiting on line to board the _'Space Debris Ride'_. Luke assesses the line. A sign reads _'10 minute wait time for next boarding.'_ Several of the other high-impact rides have a longer wait time.

"Looks like we're going to have to wait a whole 'nother hour for any of the really good rides."

Leia eyes the soaked kids in front of her.

"Hey, kids, your parents are looking for you."

"Lady, no they're not."

"I'll give you 5 credits to let us cut in front of you."

"No way! Aren't you too old to be on this ride?"

"There's no need to be rude."

"Stop picking on kids then."

Mara decides to take matters in her own hands.

"Listen, pipsqueak, we only want to get on this ride. You've been on at least five rides already. Stop hogging everything."

"You can't make me."

"How much did you have to eat today?"

"Don't worry about it."

"You can get sick if you ride after gobbling down three pera frosty's, nerfburgers and mustarfries. Imagine all of that stuff churning together in your stomach. You're going to get all queasy inside and you're gonna want to barf your guts up."

The boys turn pale then, green. Two of the boys bend over grabbing their stomachs. They bolt from the line and spew the contents of their stomachs. Three boys still in the line are swaying precariously. Leia smiles as she gently nudges the boys out of the line.

"Oops! Looks like someone's about to hurl. Stand over there. Hey, Luke! Come on!"

Luke hurries over to the line. He is looking around for someone. He weaves his way through the crowd to get to the line.

"Wow, how did you get at the head of the line so fast?"

"A couple of kids got sick and dropped out."

There is someone standing in the line ahead of them.

"Gee, I hope you ladies don't kick my cousin out of line like that. She's been waiting to get on this ride all afternoon. "

Leia is about to tell the person off but the voice sounds familiar. She stops herself just in time. She sees a sweet-faced 11-year old with blond pageboy haircut holding the hand of an old friend.

"Nelson. Hi…how are you…heh heh…" She sighs awkwardly as she tries to finds something to say. "This is a surprise…wow…small galaxy, huh?"

"You can say that. Oh, Leia, this is my little cousin Tabitha. Tabitha, this is my friend Leia and her brother Luke…"

"Hello."

"And his girlfriend Mara."

"Hey…"

Nelson notices Leia's white swim suit.

"Soo… how was your honeymoon?"

"Great…great…"

"Where's your husband?"

"He's…with my younger brother on one of the rides."

"Cool."

"Cool."

Someone standing in the back of the line yells at them.

"Will you _'cool'_ your way up the line? The park's not open all night you know!"

Leia and Nelson continue to chat as they move up the line. Mara grabs a space and locks herself in place. Luke gets a spot next to hers. The ride manager checks to make sure everyone is locked in place. The riders are harnessed in and hold onto the bars. The ride is a 40-foot transparent chamber that lowers them into a pool full of brown foam rubber blocks resembling real debris. A mechanical Dianoga swims around the water. The chamber is filled with screams and laughter as the riders kick and thrash in the water. The harness releases them and they swim into a clear pool to the exit.

Once out of the water, Luke catches his breath. Mara laughs hysterically kisses him.

"Luke, you should have seen your face! You were struggling like a little girl! Ha-hah!"

"Oh yeah, I would have been fine if you weren't trying to crawl on my shoulders."

"That thing was swimming around my legs."

"It was swimming around everyone's legs!"

Leia laughs at both of them.

"Mara, you were screaming so loud my ears are still ringing."

"Other people were screaming."

"Not as loud as you, sweetheart."

Nelson agrees.

"My cousin didn't scream as much as you did."

"Well, it just proves that this ride was worth the admission fee. Luke, let's get on the water slide." She notices him looking around for something. "Luke, what are you looking for? You were doing the same thing before we got on the ride."

"Nothing…I though I dropped something. It's okay…I'm good."

Leia turns to Nelson.

"So…you want to join us on some of the other rides?"

"Uhm…thanks but I have to get Tabi back to her folks. They're waiting for us at the other end of the park. Our family is here."

"Oh…sure…of course. I should get back to. We left my father back that way…" He points her thumb over her head behind her. Well…it was fun."

"Sure was. Say hello to your folks for me."

"I will. Nice meeting you, Tabitha."

"You too. Bye."

"Bye. Bye, Nelson."

"Bye, Leia."

The park is crowded with holiday visitors. Leia meets up with Han and the boys. After a few more rides, they head back to Anakin who is sitting on the bench with his in-laws. Ana-Lena sits on her father's lap eating ice cream. Captain Needa and his family have moved on to enjoy the rest of the theme park. Anakin feels a cool breeze blow in from the mountains. The Supersonic Plasma Corkscrew Water Ride is in full operation. The screams they hear are horrid. It sounds like someone is being tortured. Luke glances up for a second then shakes his head.

"That's one ride I missed. Blasted!"

Li-An has and ice cream too.

"It was totally awesome, Luke. Han and I rode on it three times. I'll get on it with you after I finish my ice cream."

Anakin stares at his little daredevil.

"Oh no you're not. You're done for the day. Besides, it's high time we were heading back to the house. I don't want you hurling your ice cream. Why do you think we waited until after the ride?"

"It was the best ride ever. I want to be the Plasma Corkscrew Water Ride champion like those other guys. The galactic record is 140 times.

"Don't be too proud of that technological terror you were riding on all afternoon. The ability to conquer a ride is insignificant next to the power of the Force."

"Don't try to frighten me, Dad. I can handle it." Li-An steps away from the bench. He continues to lick on his ice cream cone while gazing longingly at the extreme ride.

Anakin grabs Li-An by his swim shorts and pulls him back

"Sit back down."

Leia stops them.

"Dad, cut it out, let go of him. He's not going anywhere."

"It's time to head back to the house."

Chip catches up with them.

"Mr. Skywalker, we're so happy o have you visit Gungan Wild Water Kingdom. Here are some souvenirs for your kids." He passes out Gungan Park hats, tumblers, towels, and stickers for the children. "Also, please accept an envelope filled with bonus coupons for your next visit and a questionnaire to tell us about your experience here. If you would, we'd like you to complete the questionnaire before you leave the park today…" Anakin stares at the VIP Escorts Chip and. Finn.

Chip realizes he has asked to much of the Dark Lord, decides to rephrase his request.

"…Uhm…when…whenever you have a free moment…you can mail it back to us…anytime."

"Thank you."

Isabel's parents help load the children into the YUV. Leia and Han get into their own vehicle ands leave. Luke opens the door of his speeder for Mara. He stands on the driver's side and looks around. Mara looks at him.

"Luke? Are you getting in or are you going to look as if you've lost something."

"Wha? Oh, sorry. Let's go."

Everyone pulls into the parking bay early that evening. Anakin throws all three children in the shower while he goes to check in on his wife. He finds Isabel in their bedroom sleeping with Kris. He leans over to kiss them. Isabel smiles as she opens her eyes.

"Hello. Did you have a good time?"

"I had a great time but I missed you two. How was your day?"

"We had a lovely day. Threepio, Skippy, and Artoo kept us company. Kris said his first words."

"Really? Well…I'm going to have to have our first conversation in the morning. I'll put him to bed."

Anakin takes the baby into the nursery. Li-An, Alex, and Ana-Lena are in their pajamas. They join their father at the crib to watch Kris sleeping.

"It sucks being a baby. You don't get to have any real fun until you're potty trained and talking."

"He's got to wait at least three more years to go to Gungan Wild Water Kingdom."

Ana-Lena looks at her little brother.

"I had fun when I was a baby, didn't I, Daddy?"

"Yes, you did, Ana-Le."

Li-An mocks her then laughs.

"_Blah, blah, blah blah, Daddy_. Girls don't know how to have fun."

"Yes I do. Daddy, Li's making fun of me."

"Cut it out. All of you."

Alex looks up at his father.

"But I didn't say anything. Why do I have to be lumped in with them?"

"You'll slip up eventually. This way, I have you all covered. Alright…into bed."

Anakin kisses them goodnight. He has a busy day with Luke and Leia tomorrow. He is exhausted.

He slips into bed and strokes Isabel's hair. It smells clean with a light hint of Naboo lavender.

"I missed you today. Hey, why don't you slip into that pink dress you wore at Obi-Wan and Bunny's wedding?"

"The stripper bridesmaid dress?"

"Yeah…I've still got a bit of energy left in me after a day at the theme park. Go put it on."

He tries to nudge her out of bed.

"No! It's not here anyway."

"What? Where is it?"

"I left it on board the ship."

"Isabel…I was so in the mood! How could you be so mean?"

"Mean? It's not like I had expected to wear it again."

"You looked so hot in that dress. I was tempted to slip money in all the openings."

"Well…when we return home, I'll wear it and let you slip me money. I'll be your stripper for the day. Okay?"

"Oooh…I like that."

"As long as it's enough for a pair of shoes."

"Oooh…you're an expensive stripper. Meesa likey." He starts to plant kisses along her neck and back. Isabel stops him.

"Eww! Were you talking like Jar-Jar just now?"

"I was being funny."

"It's not romantic. What gave you the idea talking to me like that was going to get me in the mood?"

"Uh…I saw him today."

"Really?"

"He fired himself and took a summer job at the Water Park. I was about to kill him because be not only fired himself, he fired the rest of the troops. Luckily, I ran into Captain Needa and his family. He explained that a memo was sent out soon after. God bless Gladys. I pretended to know all about it of course."

Isabel strokes her husbands face.

"That was great. You need to do something nice for her."

"I know."

"You guys came home without a lot of fanfare. You did a great job, sweetie. Seems as if everyone went up to bed peacefully."

"Yeah…no complaints. The kids were exhausted and there were no complaints in the back seat…"

Down the hall, Luke remembers what he forgot. He bolts upright in his bed.

"_Holy 'Sith'!"_

Anakin has the same horrifying response.

"Oh nooooo!"

Luke and Anakin barrel downstairs putting on their clothes.

"I'll take my car."

"Mine is faster."

They can't get to their vehicles because Han's Speeder is blocking the others in the parking bay. Anakin's cell phone rings. He points to Luke with an accusing finger.

"You were supposed to watch him!"

"I'm sorry, Dad. I don't know what happened."

"We all know what happened! You left him behind!" He answers the call. "Yes? Yes, speaking….yes… we're on our way. Yes, I mean no, we didn't know it's against the law to abandon the elderly at amusement parks! It wasn't intentional…No, I did _not_ know it was a growing epidemic!" He turns off his phone. "Boring conversation anyway! Luke! Let's go!"

They arrive at the amusement park and walk into the security office. Anakin is embarrassed when he speaks to get the clerks' attention. He sees her nametag on the desk. Her name is Thelma Frye.

"Excuse me; is this the lost and found? I'm here to pick up my father."

The desk clerk looks up at the father-son culprits with an air of distain. Thelma is sassy woman with a big attitude who knows the streets. She puts down the magazine she is reading then sashays over to the desk with her hands on her hips.

"Humph. Lost and Found is down the hall. Is your father a pair of sunglasses? This is security. What is the abandoned person's name?"

"Dantius Palpatine."

"And you are?"

"Anakin Skywalker."

"You want to describe the victim?"

"Old…white hair. Khaki shorts and tropical shirt….white socks and walking sandals."

"Humph! One minute please." The woman sits back in her task chair. She rolls her eyes at Anakin as she whispers to another clerk named Roscoe P. Coltrane. _"He's the one who ditched his father here at the park."_

"_Humm…figures. It's the rich ones all the time. Crazy city folk."_

"_Says he 'Lost' him like he was a wallet or something. Do you believe this man? __He should be ashamed of himself__." _She mocks Anakin_. "I lost my daddy."_ She and Roscoe have a good laugh along with an off-duty officer who is chatting with them.

A uniformed officer appears. Thelma whispers to him, then hands him the file.

"_Barney, he's here. The tall one. Somebody needs to explain __to him__ the difference between 'Lost & Found' and __'Missing Persons'__ to this fool."_

Anakin sees the officer head over in his direction. He is a skinny, bug-eyed man, average height. His trousers appear to be two sizes too big for his thin frame. He snorts then adjusts the waistband on his trousers. He tries to come off as a tough cop but his mannerisms are too over-the top to be taken seriously. The weight of his blaster holster may be another reason for him to keep adjusting his trousers.

He starts yelling at Anakin as if he is conducting an interrogation.

"Mr. Skywalker, you know what the number one problem is in the galaxy today?"

"I get the feeling you're going to tell me."

"Indifference and cruelty. I rest my case!" He points an accusing finger at Anakin. Anakin tries to control his anger.

"Can I just pick up my father?"

"How do we know that you won't take him and drop him off along the Paonga Sea? Huh? Do you know how many old people we pick up from the Lianorm Swamp each year? Guess! Well let me tell you, Mr. Skywalker, it will be one less because we rescued the little old fella in time. I'm gonna let you off this once 'cause I'm a nice guy..."

As the officer chastises Anakin, another officer steps out of an office, extends his hand to Anakin to shake. He has a friendly face and calm reserve.

"I got this, Barney. Mr. Skywalker, good evening, I'm Sheriff Taylor, this is my deputy Barney Fife. Thanks for coming down here to pick up your father. I know you must have been devastated to discover he was lost in our park."

"I never expected this to happen, Sheriff. My son and I left the house as soon as we realized he was missing. I want to thank you for contacting us when you did. We were torn up over losing him. This is my son, Luke."

Luke nods.

"Hello."

Luke watches as Barney pats his sidearm in a menacing fashion. He sizes up the father and son. Sheriff Taylor continues to resolve the matter.

"I'm sure this is all a big misunderstanding and I know you must be anxious to get him back home."

"We are. Where is he?"

"Barn, will you please bring these fine folks over to see Mr. Palpatine."

"But, Ange! We're playing into their hands. This could be an amusement park crime ring. "

"Barn, trust me…it's alright."

Anakin and Luke are led around the corner to a waiting area. Palpatine sits alone on one of four chairs. He looks like an old orphan. He is holding a plastic bag. Palpatine is wearing a different shirt. It is a Gungan Water Park t-shirt with a picture of a cheerful Gungan striking an uncanny resemblance to Jar-Jar. An image of the Supersonic Plasma Corkscrew Water Ride is featured in the background. The old Sith looks up at Anakin and Luke. He has a foam neck brace.

"Anakin, Luke! I knew you would come back for me…one day."

Anakin does not appreciate the wisecrack.

"Don't start. It's late and I'm tired. You okay?"

"Yes. I just have some neck pain." He winces as he tilts his head and utters a weak cry of pain. "Ow."

Sheriff Taylor scratches his head as he takes Anakin aside.

"Seems as though your father got caught up in a crowd waiting to board one of the rides and he suffered a bit of whiplash from the ride. He was soaked so we got him a change of clothes. With some bed rest, the park nurse says he should be good as new in a day or two."

Anakin rolls his eyes.

"I see. So, can we take him now?"

"Of course. You just need to sign some papers and a waiver that you will not sue the theme park for any damages."

"Thank you."

Anakin returns to the clerk's desk to sign the papers. Luke holds the plastic bag for Palpatine. Thelma sees Anakin staring at her nameplate. She covers it. Anakin slides the signed papers back across the counter. Thelma tears off a copy and hands it to him. Deputy Fife keeps a watchful eye on him. Luke turns away and smiles. Anakin grabs Palpatine by the arm and heads out the door. Barney, Roscoe, and Thelma are still wary.

"You know he left that poor old man in the park on purpose."

Barney goes outside and watches as Anakin and Luke help Palpatine to Luke's speeder.

"You keep your noses clean. I've got my eyes on you, Buddy. You too, Junior. Don't leave town."

Luke nods. He does not want a confrontation with the menacing little deputy.

"I'll be careful."

"You'll be in prison! That's where you'll be! I got a jail cell in the back with your name on it."

Anakin wants to Force Choke the menacing deputy. Luke talks him down.

"Easy, Dad, we're almost out of here."

Just as they drive off, Anakin Force chokes Barney. The deputy is flailing like a turtle on its back. Sheriff Taylor hurries to the door. Barney scrambles to his feet and fumbles for his blaster turning with a frenzy of twitches and jerks as he aims his blaster in the dark Naboo night. Sheriff Taylor rolls his eyes then urges Barney to come inside.

"Barney, are you crazy? Will you come inside and stop making a spectacle of yourself!"

That evening, after sending Palpatine to his room, Anakin returns to bed. Isabel kisses him and pats his face.

"Get some sleep. We'll talk in the morning."

The next morning Isabel, Ouisanne and Leia serve breakfast. Nakai reads the local paper. He is laughing quietly as he reads about _'Amusement Parks: New Dumping Ground for Old Siths.' _

The children gather around Palpatine as he shows off his medal for riding the Supersonic Plasma Corkscrew Water Ride 10 times in a row. The Younglings barrage him with questions.

"Wow, Gramps, you're a champ!"

"So, did you cry like a girl when you were left at the amusement park?"

"Yeah, did you, Palps?"

"Yeah, Palps, did you cry?"

"Of course not. I must say, however, that I was disappointed by the lack of concern for my wellbeing."

He glances briefly over at Anakin. Li-An pretends not to know who the old man is referring to. Li-An presses the old man to get a reaction from his father.

"At, who, Palps? The amusement park?"

"No, it wasn't _their_ fault. They didn't abandon me." He glances over at Anakin once more. Anakin ignores them then exits the room. Alex examines the amusement park medal then passes it to Li-An.

"Wow, this is awesome!"

"And I got free dinner at the park for being abandoned."

Li-An holds the medal with a striped ribbon attached.

"Gee, Mom and Dad never abandon us! We never get perks like this!"

Isabel gives Li-An one of her looks.

"Don't test us. Finish your breakfast. Leia, you should go get ready. I'll take care of the plates."

Han gets up from the table.

"I'll move my speeder. Be right back."

Han leaves the house and goes up the walk to the parking bay.

"What the…"

He surveys the dents on his speeder. There are several paint scratches on the driver side. He sees something on the windshield and pulls out a piece of paper:

'_Here is my license and registration and cell number. Let's discuss damages and lessons learned…like… never park in my space.'_

_A.S. (Dad)_

Anakin, Leia, and Luke are dressed for a memorial service. Anakin stops in the bedroom to speak to his wife privately.

"How do I look?"

"Perfect."

"Thanks. I love you."

"I know. You should go. The twins are waiting."

"See you this afternoon."

Anakin, Luke, and Leia, Threepio and Artoo, attend a memorial service at Theed Palace for Padmé. The Naberrie family is also in attendance. Wreaths of fresh mountain flowers are laid at her tomb. Luke reads some passages from the Jedi scriptures. It is a beautiful day to remember all the good times. It is a quiet day to recall the bad days. It is a perfect day to look towards the future.

Isabel is at the vacation house with her parents, four children, a droid dog, a new son-in-law complaining about his damaged speeder, a hungry redhead trolling the kitchen for snacks, and an old Sith, squeezing every ounce of sympathy from anyone who will listen. It is a busy house. She misses her husband. When they return to Coruscant, she'll put on her pink bridesmaid dress so she can make some money for a new pair of shoes.


	142. Chapter 142 Boogie Knights

_Chapter 142_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Boogie Knights'_

'_Let's Sing a__ Rondeau__'_

'_The Lazy Chaperones'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Spending the end of the summer on Naboo rejuvenates everyone. There are hikes in the mountains, day trips to the historic district, and a picnic for the children hosted by the Naberrie family. Jobal adores them, especially Ana-Lena. The tot keeps everyone entertained. Ryoo and Pooja's children are also there. Luke and Leia point out the house across the tree-lined street where they used to play with their friend Dennis. Li-An is excited. He wants a closer look. Luke and Leia take their siblings across the street. The driveway is empty. Someone standing on the porch of the house next store speaks to them.

"If you're looking for the Mitchell's, they're not home. It's visiting day at the prison."

Li-An is curious.

"Prison?"

"Yes, prison. And if you don't behave yourself you'll wind up with him."

Leia is shocked.

"What?"

Luke is blown away by this revelation.

"Wow…poor Dennis."

The man on the porch responds to their dismay.

"Poor Dennis? Poor Mr. Mitchell! That's whom you should feel sorry for. He's the one who's in prison."

"What did he do?"

"Tax evasion."

Luke is shocked.

"Tax evasion? Nooo…! He's one of the most law-abiding people on Naboo. What happened?"

"Dennis had this laser-brained idea to 'enhance his father's tax return so he changed some of the figures on the form. Poor Mitchell couldn't explain himself because he signed the form without checking…."

"Wow…that means he hasn't been home since Dennis was a kid."

"Kid? What are you talking about? Dennis didn't do that when he was a kid. He just pulled that stunt a few years ago. He was about 19 when Imperial Revenue Agents showed up at their door. I swear there's something wrong with that boy still living at him with no job. The closest thing he had to a job was mowing lawns for 5 centimes an hour. How in blazes are you going to make it in this world if that's the only thing you can put on your resume." He stops talking and notices that Luke and Leia have come with reinforcements. During his tirade, he forgot there were more people with the twins as they walked up on the lawn. Mr. Wilson points his cane in Li-An's direction. "Who are you?"

"I'm Li-An. Luke and Leia are my brother and sister."

"Who are those two behind you?"

"They're my other brother and sister. We have a baby brother too back at the house."

"So, how long are you staying here?"

"Until the end of summer."

"Humph…well…high time you run along now. Dennis won't be back from prison with his mother till this afternoon."

"Are you alone?"

"What difference does that make? All of you, go back across the street."

Someone opens the door at his house.

"Now, George, don't be rude. Who are these darling children? Is this Luke and Leia all grown up?"

Luke and Leia smile.

"Hello, Mrs. Wilson. Hello, Mr. Wilson."

"Come up here on this porch and give me a big hug. It's so good to see you! And who are these little ones?"

"Our little brothers and sister."

Mr. Wilson looks at the youngsters with a discerning eye.

"So there are more of you, you say, eh? Your parents don't get out of the house much do they?"

Mrs. Wilson smiles at the children. She leans over to speak to the three younger Skywalker siblings. Ana-Lena notices the crisp white apron embroidered with cherries that the friendly-looking lady is wearing. Mrs. Wilson smells nice too, like fresh daisies.

"Well, you children are just in time for the freshly baked oatmeal cookies. I just took them out of the oven; and nothing goes better with cookies than a cold glass of blue milk."

Luke is tempted but does not wish to impose.

"Gee, that's really kind of you Mrs. Wilson but we can't impose on you like this."

Mr. Wilson eagerly agrees as he starts to steer Luke and his siblings back down the steps.

"Of course you don't. You want to spend more time across the street with your grandparents. See that, Martha?"

"George! Jobal and Ruwee know how much we adore their grandchildren. Come children."

Five minutes later, Luke and his siblings are seated at the kitchen table feasting on delicious oatmeal cookies and glasses of fresh bantha milk. Alex is in heaven.

"Thanks, Mrs. Wilson. You must have been expecting us. You baked a lot of cookies."

"You're so welcome, Alex. Luke and Leia used to come over all the time when they were your age."

"He has a girlfriend who could finish this whole plate."

"Ooh, how lovely. George, did you hear that? Luke has a girlfriend. "

Alex offers more information.

"He's engaged and Leia's married"

"Yes, I know. Leia, your grandmother showed me all of the holographs of your wedding. You make a lovely bride. So where is the groom?"

Leia takes a sip from her glass before setting down on the table.

"He's back at the vacation house helping my father."

"Your father must adore him."

"Yeah, they're crazy about one another."

Li-An mutters to himself then takes a bite from his cookie.

"No, they're just crazy."

Leia gives her younger brother a dirty look. He smiles. Leia smiles back at his milk mustached face. She playfully nudges him with her elbow.

Mr. Wilson sulks in the window seat of the sunny kitchen and flips open his newspaper. Someone taps him on the knee. He lowers the paper and sees two blue eyes peering up at him.

"May I help you, little girl?"

Ana-Lena smiles. Her long dark hair is parted in the middle and looped into two neatly braided pigtails tied with yellow ribbons. She is wearing a little yellow sleeveless swing top with ruffles around the edges. Her cropped pants are yellow gingham with yellow ruffles at the hem. On her feet are yellow Crocs. She presents a small plate to him.

"Everyone is eating cookies and you didn't get any. These are for you, Mr. Wilson."

He knows if he does not give this child his undivided attention she will never go away. He folds the newspaper and sets it by his side.

"So, these are for me, eh?"

"Yes, sir."

"Why, thank you. You're a thoughtful little girl." He accepts the plate of cookies then gingerly pats her on the head. He is expecting her to turn and go away but he is not so fortunate. Ana-Lena waits.

"I take it you're going to watch me eat them."

"You don't want to eat alone do you?"

"How can I be alone when I have five more people in my house?" He eyes the kitchen table where Martha is listening to the children talk about their vacation on Tatooine, Obi-Wan's wedding, and their visit to the water park. She appears to be enjoying herself. Ana-Lena taps him on his knee again.

"I'll be back, okay?"

"If you must."

She runs over to Mrs. Wilson. Ana-Lena returns carrying a glass of bantha milk. She walks slowly so the milk will not spill. Martha watches like a mother hen as Ana-Lena works her way back to where the curmudgeonly neighbor of Ruwee Naberrie is sitting.

"This is for you."

Mr. Wilson reaches out and takes the glass.

"Here, let me take that for you. I'll drink what's left." He looks at the trail of small spills leading back to the center of the kitchen. "Here goes nothing."

"Bon Appétit."

"Thank you."

Ana-Lena continues to watch him. Mr. Wilson feels self-conscious having this small child watching him.

"Well, if you're going to keep watching me eat, you may as well join me. Have a cookie."

"Thank you. You're a nice man, Mr. Wilson." She rests her head on his side.

"Well, you're not so bad yourself." He catches Martha smiling at him as she blots up the spills with a damp mop. He lets Ana-Lena dunk her cookie in his glass of milk. After they are done, Mrs. Wilson takes the plate and glass away. George feels Ana-Lena looking at him again. "Now what?"

"May I sit on your lap?"

"Why?"

"You're my friend."

"Oh, dear…Martha? Where is that woman? Martha!"

"Will you read me a story?"

"Don't your parents read to you?"

"Of course they do, all the time. I think you want to read to me."

"Oh I do, do I?"

"Of course you do."

"Well, I don't have any books that would interest you."

"What's in this paper?"

"News, sports, the weather and the economy."

"What's in the news?"

"You're serious, aren't you?"

"Master Yoda says he has never met a more serious and tenacious Youngling as me."

"Master Yoda sounds like he's been around a lot of energetic kids."

"He has. He taught my father and my brothers and Leia. He says Leia made him wonder why he ever left the swamps of Dagobah."

"Is that so?"

"Yes. So what are you going to read to me?"

"Ohhh…let's see…" He opens the paper. "Hummm...oh, here's a headline. He murmurs to himself as he reads the headlines. This is his way of censoring the content before he reads anything to the child. _'Imperial Inquiry of the Attempted Layoff of Thousands of Troops.' _He mutters through the first line of the article and sees the name 'Skywalker' mentioned. He looks at Ana-Lena. "Who's your father again?"

"Anakin Skywalker, he's an important man. He's in charge of the military. He's the Imperial Commander-In-Chief. All of the officers love him."

"You don't say." He continues to scan the paper for _'suitable'_ content. "I'm sure they speak of him fondly."

"So, what's the story about? Finish reading."

"Uhmm…It's a boring story…lets look for something else…oh, here's the entertainment section." He reads the headline. _'Former Emperor Lands Role in New Musical, Critics already trashing controversial subject matter…' _There has to be something in here…Local news…_'Elderly Man Abandoned During the Night at Popular Naboo Water Park' _…_Dantius Palpatine_…_blah, blah_…_' _Oh dear….Oh, look, the comics. Finally, something _'wholesome'_ to read to a child. Here we go…_'Chewie and Boga' _Says here Chewie and Boga vie for a lawn mowing job…Chewie tries to set Boga's wings on fire with a Mustafar flamethrower…Boga retaliates by setting the lawnmower on auto…and here's Chewie getting run over by the mower leaving him totally shorn and bruised…."

After reading the comics and some op-ed pieces, George looks up from the paper. Martha is standing in the doorway smiling. Ana-Lena has drifted off to sleep. Martha whispers to him.

"George, dear, the kids are leaving."

"Oh, so soon?"

"It's been an hour since you started reading."

"Oh? Got distracted. Well…I'll take her over to the Naberrie's." He stands and lifts Ana-Lena in his arms.

"You're not using your cane, George."

He looks in the corner of the kitchen.

"Oh…well look at that…what do you know? I guess I didn't need it after all. But I'll keep it just the same. It 's quite an effective prop to scare kids off my lawn."

They walk to the front door together and he hands off Ana-Lena to Luke.

"Goodbye children. See you again soon." George looks at Martha incredulously.

"Soon? Martha, please! We'll never get rid of them."

Martha continues smiling and waving to the children as they head back across the street.

"Wave, George." He signs then waves with a crooked smile.

"Bye-Bye, children…_that's right…keep walking…_."

The Skywalker children wave back cheerfully to the couple.

"Bye Mrs. Wilson, Goodbye Mr. Wilson!"

Luke, Leia, and the three younger children return to the Naberrie house for a barbecue dinner.

Jobal is in the dayroom with Ruwee. Ruwee puts down his paper as the children walk through the door.

"So, kids, how was your visit across the street?"

Leia smiles.

"It was nice. Mrs. Wilson invited us inside for cookies and milk."

"Oh…you beat your last record…you lasted a whole five minutes longer than last time. What have you kids been up to?"

"Nothing. We were our typical charming selves."

"I'm sure."

"Hey, Opa, how come you told us to go over their separately from Dory, Gunter and Radi?"

"I wanted to listen for him fainting on the porch." He picks up his paper and begins reading again.

"Very funny."

Luke stands behind the sofa and reads over his grandfather's shoulder.

"Hey, Opa, did you hear that Mr. Mitchell was in jail?"

"Oh, yes…."

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"It's more entertaining watching your reactions."

Li-An stands beside Luke looking over Ruwee's shoulder.

"I didn't even know Dennis and I was shocked."

"I bet you were."

"Are you and Luke going to continue to hover back there?"

Li-An blushes.

"Sorry, Mr. Naberrie."

"No….we're all family here. Who am I?"

"Opa."

"Good boy…now you and Luke go bother that woman over there." He looks across the room at Jobal, Ryoo, Pooja, Dory, Leia, and Ana-Lena. Alex is outside playing kickball with Gunter. It is nice to see a lively house full of children's voices. It is a special day at the Naberrie home. It is grandparent and great grandparent's day with the kids. Luke and Leia's siblings are part of this new tradition. Ana-Lena says it's like having three sets of grandparents.

Back at the Skywalker lake house, Anakin keeps _'old man Sith'_ busy. They help Nakai prep the boat for a trip up the lake. Palpatine finds time to complain.

"What can't he send the boat out to the shipyard instead of making us do all the work?"

"It's relaxing work and he's a boat builder. He knows what he's doing. You can stay here and help or I can send you on the next shuttle back to Coruscant. You've been a burden and complainer during this entire trip. Shape up or go home. I have a family to take care of and I'm not doing a good job of it if I'm rescuing you every other day. If you can't take care of yourself I'm sending you back to the nursing home."

"No!"

"Then get your act together."

"Did you say I was a burden to you?"

"You want me to be contrite and take it back? Yes, I said it. What are you going to do call the amusement park police on me? What are they going to do throw me in amusement park jail and to put me on a diet of funnel cake and corn dogs for the rest of my life?"

"All right, All right! You've made your point. I was just hoping, from time to time, we could spend some quality time together."

"You used it all by getting yourself in trouble."

Han is also moping about. He wants to discuss the damages to his speeder. He cannot get his father-in-law's attention. He is helping with the boat too but Palpatine already has the Dark Lord fuming over the amusement park incident. He figures he now has an opportunity once Palpatine shuts up. He hands Nakai a wrench then directs his attention to Anakin.

"Hey, Mr. 'S', it's been a couple of weeks and I want to talk to you about my speeder."

"Oh yeah, I've been so busy lately. Could you lend us a hand here?" Anakin continues to work.

"I could. Are we going to talk about my speeder?" Han gets no response. He laughs sarcastically as he kicks one of the pilings on the dock. "Of course you're not….why do I even bother."

Han notices that the lemonade dispenser needs refilling. He grabs the handle.

"I'm going to go inside and fill this up." No one takes notice. "I won't be back until evening…" He mutters to himself_. "And nobody cares."_

Han heads back to the house. He walks into the kitchen to refill the container. Isabel is coaxing Krizstan to eat some pera fruit and carrots.

"Hey, Mrs. Skywalker." Han rubs the baby on the head then takes a seat at the table.

"Hello, Han…and why so formal? We've been friends for years now." She wipes the baby's hands after he smears the food in his hair. "Did they send you to refill the beverage dispenser?"

"I needed some fresh air."

Isabel smiles.

"You look as though a dark cloud is hanging over you."

"It sort of is."

"Is this 'dark cloud' tall, blond, and manipulative?"

"You know someone like that?"

"Intimately. Han, let me give you some advice on how to get what you want from the 'Master Evader'"

"You mean there's a method? He comes with an instruction manual?"

"I've known him for years and I know just about every little trick of his."

"How _'do'_ you put up with him?"

"You don't think I do this without a plan, do you? I'm very careful. Don't think he doesn't give me a hard time just because he's my husband. When I sense he's about to give me the worst time possible, that's when I make my move."

"I don't get it. How do you do it?"

"For instance… he wants me to wear that pink nightmare from Bunny's wedding. I said I would wear it with the condition that he pays me."

"Well, Mrs. "S"…I mean, Isabel… I don't plan on slipping into a pink party dress for my father-in-law. I just want my speeder fixed."

Isabel hands the baby a teething toy.

"I have no intention on following through. Just don't putter around him like a wounded puppy. He loves that."

The baby offers Han his colorful teething toy. He hangs over the side of his highchair. A long thread of drool dangles from his chin.

"Hi."

Han raises his hand to decline the offer.

"No thanks, kid. I ate already."

"Hi."

Han smiles at the baby then pats him on the head. He looks at his hand. There is baby food on his palm.

"New hair conditioner?" He accepts a damp cloth from Isabel and cleans his hands.

Isabel laughs.

"He's getting a bath after this. One day you and Leia will experience the joy of your own little angel."

"I've got to get used to the food in the hair thing. Still…he's a happy little tyke." Han holds up the lemonade dispenser. Well, I'm going to take this outside; they're probably cursing me for taking so long. " He grabs a couple of bottles of Corellian ale from the fridge.

They chat for a few minutes more before she gives him some final words of encouragement.

"Trust me. My method works all the time. It's foolproof."

"Yeah, I'll be the fool who gets it."

"Oh, don't forget to serve it to him in the blue tumbler over there on the shelf. I put his name on it. It's his 'good luck' glass."

"What makes it a 'good luck' glass?"

"Trust me. That glass has never disappointed."

Han takes the glass. He cannot believe some hokey superstition about a mystical blue glass. With his provisions in tow, he returns to the edge of the lake near the dock. He glances at his damaged speeder in the parking bay. Nakai is still busying himself with the boat. Palpatine takes instruction from Anakin and passes tools to the two men. Anakin looks up and sees Han walking towards them.

"It's high time you came back with that. We're dying of thirst out here."

"Well we can't have that. Why don't I pour you a glass of fresh lemonade?…_ 'Dad'."_

"Listen, I'll get your speeder fixed. Okay? Why is everyone riding my back?"

"Do you still want the lemonade?"

"Uhm…sure…thanks, Han."

Anakin removes his work gloves, wipes his brow, then takes the plastic tumbler. He gulps down the sweet refreshing beverage.

"You're welcome, chief. Mrs. 'S' says that's your lucky tumbler."

Han fills a glass for Nakai. Nakai takes his drink and sits on the dock resting against one of the wood pilings. Anakin has a peaceful smile on his face.

"Yeah, it seems after drinking from this glass, I feel so much better. I already get the feeling that the rest of the day is going to be good. Sit with us, Han." Anakin sits on the dock next to his father-in-law and then pats his hand on the empty space on his left for Han. He waves for Palpatine to come over. "Hey, Palpi, come join us. You worked hard today."

Han quips. "Ha! '_Hardly' wor__k__ed _is more like it."

Anakin laughs out loud and points to Han. He gives the skeptical nerfherder a jovial slap on the back.

"Good one, Han!"

Palpatine shuffles over to where the three men are sitting. The sun glistens on the water. The boat looks beautiful. The sales are up and a gentle breeze blows in from the mountains. Anakin looks around at the natural beauty and smiles blissfully.

"This is _'effing'_ nice. …Great breeze coming in from the mountains…heavenly." He takes another sip of lemonade from his special glass. "You can smell the wildflowers on the hills. Wow, this is nice just sittin' here…in the morning sun…I bet I could sit out her till the evening comes. Ooh…look…a ship just came in for a landing….oh…and there goes another one taking off. Hmmmm….I've got to call Obi-Wan about this."

He flips open his mobile phone and presses the speed dial. "Hey, Obi-Wan, how the 'eff' are you? You're what? Oh…You guys just make up meetings for no good reason don't you?...heeheehee…I won't keep you long…guess what? Me and the guys are hanging out on the dock…of the bay by the house….on Naboo…yeah, man, you should be here. The view is great. We're here chillin'…you know...my father-in-law, Han…the old man…oh…you are? Oh…okay….oops! Sorry. Are they mad? Oh…sure…okay…They should relax... Okay…how was the honeymoon? Oh…okay…when I get back, we'll go out to dinner and catch upon the news...We should invite the wives…you know they'll want to trade fashion secrets…what? Who's complaining….Yoda? …ohh…it's that important, eh? Okay, I'll let you get back to business …I know…they're sticklers for rules……bye." He closes he phone and fills the guys in on the conversation. "Obi-Wan was in the middle of a meeting with the Jedi Council. They're so uptight. They need to spend a restful day by the water like us. They take themselves _way_ too seriously."

Han taps his bottle of Corellian Ale against Anakin's blue tumbler. Some of Han's ale spills into Anakin's tumbler. Nakai does the same with his glass. Palpatine looks at Anakin with some concern.

"Son, are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine, Dad."

"You sound different all of a sudden."

"I'm enjoying life, old man. Do you know what the secret of life is?" He holds up one finger. Palpatine is hesitant to answer.

"You're not going to do that 'flick my nose' thing are you? I had enough of that from Li-An."

"Just one thing. Stick to that and nothing else in this big galaxy matters."

"You really believe that?"

"Well, one thing and my lucky glass. I love this lemonade. I want to make a toast." He raises his blue tumbler over his head. "To all my homies…oh, Nakai, your glass is empty. Allow me." He pours some of his lemonade into his father-in-law's glass then continues his toast. "May the Force be with you all…oh, except for you, Dad."

"How come?"

"You need to see the light."

"What light?"

"Oh, you poor clueless white-haired old man. Here, have some more lemonade. Han, you should have brought the beverage container closer. Now I have to share this with the old guy." He pours some of his drink into the old Sith's glass.

"Thank you, son."

"Don't mention it, old man. You know what? This is such a nice day, I'm inspired to sing."

Anakin closes his eyes as he leans against the railing on the dock. He begins to sing reflectively.

_Sittin' in the mornin' sun_

_I'll be sittin' when the evenin' come_

_Watching the starships roll in_

_And then I watch 'em roll away again, yeah'_

_I'm sittin' on the docking bay _

_Watching the tide roll away_

_Ooo, I'm just sittin' on the docking bay_

_Wastin' time'_

"Take it away, _Nerfi._"

Han thinks for a minute then thinks of a part to sing.

'_I left my home on Corellia_

_Headed for Fresian Way_

'_Cause I've had nothing to live for_

_And look like nothin's gonna go my way'_

'_Cause my speeder's all scratched and dented_

_My father-in-law said he never meant it._

_Just sittin' on the docking bay_

_Waitin' for my speeder to get to the shop_

_I shouldn' t even hold my breath_

_My father-in-law's not gonna fix it any waa-ay!_

Anakin gives Han a blank stare.

"Next! Nakai, you're up, man."

"Okay, hear goes nothing."

'_Let my daughter marry Darth Vader_

_Tried my best to dis-suade her_

_After 8 years he kinda grew on meee_

_And now I think he's oka-a-ay!'_

_So, I'm sittin' on the dock by the parking bay fixin' my bo-oh-oat!'_

Anakin giggles and high-fives Nakai. He takes another sip from his tumbler.

"You guys can't sing worth _'sith'_!"

He turns to see who is up next. Palpatine raises his hand.

"Me! Me! I'm next!"

Anakin pretends not to acknowledge him. Palpatine is begging like a child.

"Anakin, It's my turn."

Anakin sighs and waves his hand at the man as if he no longer cares.

"Fine! Go!"

Palpatine starts to clear his voice and begins singing scales to warm up.

"Do-Re-Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi-Fa-So-La-Ti-Do'h!"

Everyone stares at him. Anakin gives him a dirty look.

"Listen, let's keep this thing going. This isn't a singing Bee… there aren't any prizes. Just sing!"

"Okay…here it goes."

'_My son turned away from the Dark Side_

_His plans to take over came true_

_Took away all my power_

_And he put me in an old folks home_

_My grand kids don't respect me_

_E'cept little Ana-Lena, she's great_

_Got nothin' else to live for_

_E'cept being on stage ev'ry week_

_Just sittin' on the dock by the parking bay_

_Wastin' ti-ime_

Just when everyone thinks he is done, Palpatine belts out a new chorus. He gives it all he's got. He feels this is his moment.

_Look like nothin's gonna change!_

_Everything still remains the same_

_I can't do what ten people tell me to do!_

_So I guess I'm still to blame, yeah!_

Anakin gives the old Sith another dirty look. Palpatine looks back at him innocently.

"What?"

"I didn't ask you to say all that!"

"Well, you let them sing what they wanted."

"You just messed up the flow of the song. I don't want to sing anymore. Everybody back to work!"

Nakai pats Anakin on the back.

"Listen, Anakin, don't let one Mustafar rock get you down. Come on; let's go for the finish."

"Okay, Pop! If you say so."

The men sing together.

'_Sittin' here resting my bones_

_And this loneliness won't leave me alone_

_It's two thousand parsecs I roamed_

_Just to make this dock my home._

_Ooo, I'm just sittin' on the docking bay wastin' time…'_

They whistle at the end of the song.

The men return to the house to wash up. They hug each other like long lost friends reuniting after a battle. Isabel watches this bizarre show of affection. There are only so many inarticulate _'I love you, man!'_ that Isabel can take. She is concerned.

"Oh, dear."

Kris is in her arms wrapped in a towel after his bath. He applauds and laughs as the men form a group hug.

The side effects wear off after an hour. No one ingested enough to have any lasting symptoms. The problem is with Anakin. He only ingests part of his prescription. The after-effects will not be pretty.

That evening, the children return from the visit with the Naberrie family and decide to pitch tents outside the lake house. They spend the night outside. All the tents are up by dusk. Li-An and Alex were not expecting Luke and Leia to join them.

"What's with all the tents?"

Leia puts her hands on her hips and confronts her little brother.

"Surely you don't expect to be out here unsupervised, do you?"

"Well…yeah! I'm old enough. Besides, I brought along my lightsaber." He whips out his new lightsaber he received on graduation from Youngling school. The blue blade is clean and steady as it hums. Leia screams at him.

"Are you out of your mind? How did you get that pass Dad on the ship?"

"It's easy. We get away with stuff all the time. You've done it."

She snatches the lightsaber from him.

"Give me that!"

"Awww, come on!"

"No…and if you go inside to complain, you'll be sorry. Wait till Mom finds out."

"Nooo…Don't tell."

"Go unroll your sleeping bag."

"Stay on that side of the trees. We don't want you over here with us."

"Relax, sport. You're going to have company tonight anyway. Radi, Gunter, and Dory are coming to share your tents."

"Ohh…okay. That's cool."

Threepio walks over.

"Master Li, your mother asked me to a relay a message to you. There will be no tent-side breakfast tomorrow. Breakfast will be served, as usual on the deck outside the dayroom with everyone else. Your request has therefore been denied. That is her final answer."

"She couldn't come out here and tell me herself?"

"I will tell her you said that."

"No! Never mind. Gee…it was only waffles."

"Will there be anything else, Master Li-An?"

"Not unless you can turn back time, make her forget all the things I've done and teleport her over here tomorrow with our breakfast."

"I don't think so, sir. I'm only a droid and your mother and father have forbidden me to give in to any of your, how did they phrase it? Oh, yes, _'your laser brained schemes to undermine their authority as parents.'_ They said your baby blue eyes and that gorgeous mane of blond hair and your boyhood charm won't work on them. They are certain you will work your charms on the weak-minded."

"That could be anybody. What are they talking about?"

"I believe they are referring to all the girls at school who have crushes on you."

"Where? At the Jedi Academy? Ohhh, you mean at my _other _school. Yeah…those girls are crazy. It's a good thing we go on plenty of family vacations, 'cause I would have to go to all of those girlie parties. All they do is squeal the whole time. It gives me a headache."

"It's tough being you, isn't it?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh…nothing. You're getting to be quite the young lady killer."

"I didn't mean to knock over that girl last year. She ran right in the path of my bike. By the way, I'm getting really good at writing RSVP's."

"Yes, your notes have become more sophisticated and tactful since you first started. Writing _'I'm sorry I can't come to your dumb party'_ did not sit well with your mother."

"Yeah…Dad calls her the family censor. Nothing gets pass that woman."

"Well, if there's nothing else, Master Li, I will go tell your mother that you graciously accept her offer of breakfast with the family tomorrow morning."

"Thanks, Threepio."

"You're quite welcome, young Master Li."

That evening, Isabel sets up a sing-along for the children while serving sweet-sand cookies with cocoa and marshmallows. The children also raid the refrigerator, taking several bottles of Luke's favorite soft drink and hiding it in the tents. The nighttime temperature dips to a chilly 11degrees Celsius. The children wear their hooded pullovers from Gungan Wild Water Kingdom. Knowing that the three great-grandchildren of Ruwee and Jobal Naberrie would be visiting, Anakin purchases three extra hooded pullovers for them as well.

After singing a few rounds of _'Boga Jump'_ and _'Way Down in the Naboo Valley-O'_, it is time for the children to go to sleep. Isabel says they don't have to go to sleep immediately but they are not to run around outside all night long. The boys, Li-An, Alex and Gunter share a tent. The girls, Radi, Dory and Ana-Lena share another. Luke, Mara, Leia and Han camp out on the other side of the lake house but within full view of the children's tents.

Isabel and Anakin are inside enjoying some peace and quiet upstairs. Her parents are in the den watching a movie on the plasma. Palpatine decides to join them.

"Ooooh, a movie. What's it about?" He squeezes on the sofa with them.

"Three old ladies bury a man in the window seat of their parlor."

"Oh, it's a tearjerker."

"No, it's a _'how-to'_ instructional video."

"Sounds riveting! I'll go make us some hot chocolate."

Outside, at _'Camp Jedi',_ the children are ready for some real fun. The boys decide it is time for late night storytelling. The girls join them in their tent. Dory sees the _'Girls Keep Out'_ sign on the door of the boy's tent. She tosses it behind a tree before entering.

Li-An holds a lantern and covers it with a blanket. The filtered light gives off a hazy, spooky glow. Skippy curls up beside him on the sleeping bag. Everyone is in a circle. The Rodia soda is flowing as they huddle together.

"Okay, folks…this is a scary story."

Ana-Lena sits cross-legged facing her brother.

"Why does it have to be scary?"

"Because, we're camping, silly."

"No we're not. We're outside of the summer house."

"We're in tents. We're camping, okay? Okay...here we go…It was a dark and stormy night. The winds were so strong it made the doors rattle….and the roof creak…Radi, you're next."

Radka takes a sip from the soda bottle before she continues the story.

"The lights in the house flickered off and on. Heavy footsteps could be heard walk around on the attic floor. Thump! Thump! Thump!"

Alex goes next.

"The farmer was afraid to leave his bed. He tried to reach under the bed to feel for his blaster…something hairy touches his hand…"

The children giggle nervously. Ana-Len clutches her doll. Gunter is up next. He speaks in a creepy voice for effect.

"The man lies frozen for a moment. The hairs on the back of his neck stand up. They begin to move on his skin like buzz droids…chopping away…._bizzzz…bizzzz!_ He tries to scream but he can't…"

Ana-Lena is next.

"Uhmm…He turns on the light in the room and there is nothing under his bed and there is nothing in the attic because he doesn't have an old attic. He takes a bath to get rid of the dirt on the back of his neck…because, if you go to bed without taking a bath, you're probably going to have bad dreams of stuff crawling on you. He puts on his new pajamas that his mother bought for him. He puts all of his best toys in the bed with him so he has company. It was a quiet, beautiful night and he dreams of carousels, Ewoks, and ice cream sundaes. It was great."

The other children turn on her.

"Noooo! Booo…Boo!"

Li-An screams at her.

"That's not a scary camp story! Plus, you went over your allotted time!"

"It's a nice story."

Han is across the way in his tent with Leia.

"You think we should go check up on them? Sounds like a mutiny is taking place."

"Nooo…let them have their fun. They'll be fine. Sounds like they're having a good time. They'll be fast asleep soon. Besides, I'm just getting comfortable in this tent. Don't worry about the kids. These things never last long…trust me."

"Are you sure? 'Cause, I've got a bad feeling about this."

"Han, listen…Luke and I used to play the same games when we were their age. It's fun. Didn't you tell scary stories when you camped out?"

"Camping was the scary part. Do you know how many occasions I had snakes in my sleeping bag? How many scurriers I heard running around outside my tent at out campsite? I saw things no child should ever see."

"So what? You're scared of snakes; big deal."

"I was left psychologically scarred."

Leia laughs then rolls her eyes.

"You need therapy."

"I don't believe in therapy. I believe in Carbonite and impending death by choking, but I definitely don't believe in therapy. The profession is full of quacks practicing hocus-pocus. Besides, I don't need to pay a shrink to tell me I'm crazy…wait, that didn't come out right. You know what I mean."

"Sure, I do Han. You're the epitome of great mental health and well-being."

"It's more than you can say for your side of the family…Egomaniacal has-been former emperor grandfather; a neurotic, manic depressive father…"

"My father is working on his problems. He's on medication. Has he choked you at all this whole trip?"

"Well…no…but he…"

Leia interrupts him.

"I didn't ask you about anything else."

Okay, so he hasn't choked me…so what gives? You mean to tell me every time he has tormented me he's been off his meds?"

"Relax! Mom has a new way of making sure he's on his meds. It works wonders."

"What's that?"

"She takes his pills and lines his favorite drinking glasses with them."

"Can't he tell?"

"No. He gets the liquid gel form in his prescription. She empties the vials into the glass. Anything he drinks is mixed in with it. It's tasteless."

"Isn't she afraid someone else will drink from the glass? No. She doesn't give it to him when the kids are around. She cleans the glass after he's done."

"Has she done it lately?"

"Of course."

"What if…just for instance…someone was to drink from the glass?"

"My father never shares his favorite glass with anyone."

"But what if he did?"

"Well…they would just suffer some mild side effects… a sense of euphoria, becoming unusually" affectionate…

"Mortal enemies become your best friends?"

"It doesn't last that long…why do you ask?"

"Oh, nothing…Hey, listen…Luke's tent…sounds a bit noisy. Shall we investigate?"

"No."

"Come on! I'm dying to have some fun tonight."

"I have to admit, there's an awful lot of laughing going on in that tent."

Leia is reluctant to spy on her brother and his girlfriend but just the idea of them fooling around when they are supposed to be supervising the youngsters compels Leia to see what he is up to. She and Han creep around the perimeter of Luke's tent. They grin mischievously at one another. Leia gets a soup ladle and a pan from the kitchen. They make their move when they know Mara and Luke are at a disadvantage. Leia bangs on the pan. The high-pitched sound of the makeshift gong gives of an ear piercing sound.

Luke screams.

"What was that?"

"I don't know."

The beam of a large flashlight pierces through the tent. Mara screams then falls over Luke. Han calls out to them.

"Are you two decent in there?"

"One minute!"

Leia and Han exchange a knowing smile.

"Must we remind you that you are here on a supervising assignment? There are minors on the camp grounds."

Luke pokes his head out the door of his tent.

"Oh, it's you."

"Yes, it's us."

"You're not at _'make-out point'_ on Coruscant."

"What's the point of camping if we can't make out?"

"Do it on your own time."

"Fine!" He disappears inside the tent for a second. "Mara, put your shirt back on, my dear."

Leia and Han giggle then return to their own tent.

"Come on, Han. I'm ready to go to sleep."

The children are still playing.

After the mutiny over _'storytelling time'_, the children continue where they left off. It is now Dory's turn.

"Li-An, where do I start? After Ana-Le's part?"

"Heck no! Continue where Gunter left off…._'the hair feels like buzz droids' _or some stuff like that."

"Okay."

Ana-Lena protests.

"But about my part?"

"Your part was lame. It has been stricken from the record. Just sit and listen while the pros take over. Continue please, Dory."

"Okay…So…The man reaches behind his neck. It feels wet and slimy. He thinks it is sweat but it's not….it's…it's…_blood!_"

She cackles. Everyone smiles with macabre glee…except for Ana-Lena. The others wring their hands with anticipation as the story continues.

Radka smiles.

"Blood…cool!"

Alex nods

"Yeah…cool…best story ever."

Gunter rubs his hands together.

"Fer sure…"

Alex nods.

Awesome!"

Radka is having more fun than she thought she would.

"Yeah. We are so cool."

Dory looks at Alex as she bats her eyes with child-like flirtation. Alex is a bit startled. She decides to echo his words.

"Cool _and_ awesome."

Li-An agrees.

"Awesome…oh! It's my turn…..The blood was dripping from the ceiling…the storm grows fierce and the house rumbles…." The older kids leans against the inside of the tent causing it to move a bit. Ana-Lena squeezes her doll as she sits on the sleeping bag. Li-An continues. "The blood drops on the rooftop like huge raindrops…Drip…drip…drip…plop…plo….Then all of a sudden…Blammo!" He claps his hands together loudly.

Everyone stops to look at Ana-Lena…She is whimpering. There are groans from the other children. Li-An looks at his sister.

"Awww…man! She's gonna to cry. I knew we shouldn't have let her play."

Ana-Lena slowly backs out of the tent.

"I don't want to play this game. You don't play fair. I'm taking my dolly and going home."

Li-An draws closes to his sister and speaks in a foreboding tone.

"You can't go home…You can '_Never'_ go Home! Your dolly is the prisoner of the Wampa creature on the roof!" He instructs the others. "Grab it!" The other children grab at the dolly and snatch it, passing it around to keep it from Ana-Lena. Alex feels a bit guilty for taunting his sister and stops. He lets the doll drop on the floor of the tent. Ana-Lena grabs it and then runs from the tent. Luke, Leia and the others don't pay much attention to the children anymore. They think the screams and cries are just sound effects from the storytelling game.

Ana-Lena returns to the house crying. Old Palps is in the kitchen rinsing out the cocoa pan.

"You're back early…oh, dear; what happened?"

"Waaahh!" She runs upstairs.

Meanwhile, Anakin is upstairs in the bedroom. He is wearing blue silk pajama bottoms and a blue velvet and silk lined robe. He sips a glass of champagne as he sits at the foot of the bed. Soft music plays in the background He drizzles some of the champagne on Isabel's feet then licks it off her toes. She is giggling uncontrollably. A porcelain bowl filled with berries sits on the nightstand. She is chewing on one as he taunts her.

"How's that feel? Getting a nice foot massage, Mrs. Skywalker?"

"Oh, God! Stop!"

"I'm working my way up." He blows on her feet.

"No more! Anakin, stop! That tickles! Are you insane?" She takes a sip from her champagne flute. Her lacey negligee flows just over her knees. Anakin slips his hands under the lacy fabric. A silly and lascivious grin creeps across his face.

"Yes! You said so yourself…now take your punishment. This will be a night long remembered…you're going to go wild. Say my name."

"Aha ha-ha-ha! Ahem…Anakin…"

"No…not that's not the name…the other one…Say it like you mean it…You don't have that dress…the least you could do is meet me half way…You do want those shoes don't you?"

"Anakin!" She pushes him away then sits up against the pillows. "Anakin, stop, stop."

"So you want to play hard to get, huh? I can do that…Soon you will feel the full power of the Dark Side… Scared yet?"

"No…we have company."

"Wha?"

He stops, turns around, and sees his little girl standing in the doorway; Tears are streaming down her face. She clutches her doll.

"What's the matter, sweet pea?"

Isabel turns off the music. Ana-Lena gives her parents the details of her traumatic experience. They listen as their little girl looks to them for comfort.

"Oh, Mommy...Oh, Daddy! Li-An…they were mean to me…my dolly…and they told scary stories…they…they …they don't play fair…" Anakin is stunned as he tries to make out what his daughter is trying to tell him in fragments as she chokes back tears. Isabel sets her champagne glass on the night table. She holds out her arms. The small child climbs onto the bed. Anakin helps her after taking a moment to process the situation.

"It's okay, sweet pea. Want me to talk to them?"

"No…maybe tomorrow. I just want to sleep with you and Mommy."

"How about I put you in your bed?"

Isabel scolds him quietly.

"Anakin!"

Ana-Lena looks at her father.

"No, I want to stay in here. The roof is going to shake in there."

Isabel smiles. "Come on, sweetie; of course you can sleep in here with us."

Anakin rolls his eyes.

Ana-Lena snuggles up and sandwiches herself between her parents. The doll rests on her father's chest. Its dolls eyes stare at him. Anakin turns out the light.

"No, Daddy, keep the lights on…look under the bed for the monster."

"Oh….right." He indulges her by leaning over the side of the bed. Her father looks underneath the duvet that is hanging to the floor. The blood rushes to his head. Anakin lifts his head. "He must be afraid of me. He's a big cowardly old monster. He must have run away."

"Really?"

"Really. No more crying, okay? Now go to sleep."

Ana-Lena wipes her nose and tear-stained face on the sleeve of his robe. He looks at the expensive custom-made velvet robe and then smiles at his daughter.

"There you go."

"Thank you, Daddy."

"You can blow your nose on my clothes anytime, sweet pea."

"Okay. Thank yo, Daddy."

Trusting her father unconditionally, she curls up with her doll and closes her eyes. Anakin's night of romance has officially ended. Isabel looks across the pillow at her husband then mouths the words_. 'I'm sorry.' _He smiles softly then turns out the light.

Five minutes later, the baby cries in the next room. Anakin leaves the bedroom for a minute. His bare feet pat across the floor. A few minutes later, the bed had another occupant. The loving parents now protect Ana-Lena and her baby brother Kris_. Why should he be left alone in the nursery while everyone else in the family is having so much fun sleeping in different places?_

Outside there is peace once more. After an hour of storytelling, the girls decide they have had enough and return to their tent. They use their flashlights and stay close together. Everyone is tired. They have run out of ways to scare each other. The boys are satisfied that their evening under the Naboo stars is a resounding success. Something happens, however, in the _wee_ hours of the night that is beyond their control.

None of the children took into account on how they would leave their tents and go back to the house to use the refresher. The real horror begins when they hear droplet-like sounds on the roof of their tents. Dory slowly pokes her head out of the girl's tent. She estimates that the distance to the door of the laundry room of the house must be about 15 yards. It is not very far.…unless a monster is lurking nearby.

Alex pokes his out of the boy's tent. He has the same idea as Dory. He could possibly hunker down for the rest of the night and wait until daybreak but his bladder is a 6-year old bladder and very tiny. He cannot hold on. Morning is a long time coming. He taps Li-An on the shoulder. Li-An is curled up in a fetal position in his yellow sleeping bag. He feels the hand on his shoulder.

"Li, I have to go."

"Well go then."

"I can't hold it."

"Don't you have to go?"

"No! Not me! What are you, a coward?"

"What if we go together and you can hold the flashlight?"

"Uhm…"

"Did you bring your lightsaber?"

"No...That bossy old Leia confiscated it. I guess I can walk you over to the house."

"Ohhh…so, you want to go?"

"Oh, alright, I'll walk you to the door."

Gunter watches from his sleeping bag. He is squirming.

"You guys going out?"

"Sure…we're not afraid."

Suddenly, five children shoot out of the two tents like blaster fire. They sprint towards the house and barrel through the door. Fortunately, there is another washroom up the steps near the kitchen. They empty their bladders with great urgency.

Anakin hears the commotion as he lies in his warm, crowded bed. He looks up at the ceiling in the dark room and sighs heavily. He leaves the comfort of his bed to check on the _'scurriers'_ downstairs.

"You guys alright down there?"

Li-An shines his flashlight up the steps near the rail. Anakin shields his eyes. Li-An looks up at his father.

"Yeah…why wouldn't we be?"

"Ahso…Just checking…Ana-Le said she was afraid of the monsters. She says their must have been at least five of them."

""Ohh…she's such a baby…we're doing fine…See? We're on our way back outside. We're not scared."

"Okay, carry on then. See you campers at breakfast."

"Sure….that is unless you want us inside for the rest of the night…"

"Noo…brave Jedi knights can handle any situation. I have faith in you, son."

"You do? Ohh…okay…"

"Good night, son."

Li-An hesitates for a moment then reluctantly heads for the back door leading to the camp site.

Anakin heads back to his room. He sees a flash of silver streak pass him between his feet. It is Skippy. The little droid dog looks up at his master with a sheepish expression on his face. Skippy walks into the bedroom ahead of Anakin. The Dark Lord looks down at the 'defender of his master's home and hearth' with mock disappointment."

"Coward!"

Anakin makes his way over to the bed. Sandwiched between him and his wife are two small children, a doll with a lazy eye, and a droid dog.

Back downstairs, Li-An, Dory, Gunter, Radka, and Alex join forces and rush back outside to their tents. They check for space invaders using their flashlights before zipping up their sleeping bags. The tent doors are zipped shut too.

Morning –

Isabel and her mother prepare breakfast. Kris and Ana-Lena are at the table bright and early. They have fresh berries as they wait for waffles. Leia arrives at the table after taking a shower. Han follows. Leia decides to go outside to summon the campers. She stands in front of the two tents.

"Hey, you guys, catching up on your beauty sleep or do you want breakfast?"

Several minutes later after a cursory washing, the brave 'Five' get dressed and join the rest of the family at the breakfast table on the deck The children look weary as if they stood guard against some unknown monster during the night.

Ana-Lena sits across from them. She sits happily eating her porridge. A hearty hot breakfast is just the thing to have on this brisk alpine morning on Naboo. A stack of piping hot waffles is placed on the table. The scrumptious treats are ready for the taking. Han helps himself to a stack. He drizzles the warm syrup over them. The sweet bantha butter melts into the crevices forming tiny pools before disappearing into each delicious, cakey layer.

Anakin is not much of a waffle eater. He prefers his usual, two duck eggs sunny side up, some flax toast-dry, hot jawa, and Felucia blood orange juice.

Krizstan sits in his high chair continuing the 'baby waffle-eating' tradition by squeezing the soggy food between his dimpled fingers then stuffing it into his mouth. Alex remarks that he eats like a barbarian. An Ewok has better table manners. By the time Kris has finished eating, he is covered head to toe with food. No one wants to touch him. Isabel assumes the task of taking him over to the kitchen sink and spraying him with the hose.

Soon, the other family members gather at the table. The _'Boogie Man -5'_ gradually recovers from their fatigue. They too are enjoying breakfast. Li-An is especially please to have his first meal of the day at the big table and not 'tent-side' as he has originally requested. Waffles are best eaten with family.

Mara enjoys a stack of four waffles. She feels she is being watched. Luke stares at her incredulously. This is unsettling for her. The stares are distracting. She finally speaks.

"What?"

"Four waffles, Mar?"

"I'm on a diet! Okay?"

After breakfast, the family takes a ride on the lake. The boat looks splendid. Anakin, Nakai, Luke, and Han make up the crew. Artoo patrols the ship for pirates, namely Li-An, Alex, and Gunter. The kids have tied up Threepio and blindfolded him. Gunter proves to be a good playmate. It is a far cry from _'Mr. Perfect the Stepford Child'_. The Skywalker kids have broken him. Ryoo with barely recognize her son when she sees him. Radka has relaxed as well. She is enjoying being a child. Dory fit in immediately being the child of a 'Bohemian'. Pooja believed in letting her child 'run free' with the ability to pull back a bit when visiting her great grandfather. Ruwee has been adjusting to that new title for the pass decade. Jobal says it suits him. He stops reading his paper long enough to enjoy the children.

The boat journey on the lake comes with some glitches. Palpatine hangs over the side of the boat. He clams seasickness before the boat set sail. His pallor turns from a pasty white to puce within 5 minutes of riding the water. Anakin peers down from the pilot's deck. He whispers to Luke.

"Will you and Han go down there and tether him to the rails before he falls overboard?"

"Sure thing, Dad. Come on, Han."

The former Emperor will tell all of his friends and the cast members of his new stage play about his summer holiday. He will never tell them abut his numerous mishaps. He has a revised account of the events.

'_It was absolutely fantastic! Everything was perfect. We took a luxurious boat ride on the lake, before that I visited a working farm, my grandchildren threw me a surprise birthday party, and I even went to a theme park. It was for the children of course but I found it to be delightful. I won a prize for riding one of the fastest water rides in the park. See? I have holographs if you don't believe me. I even got a private tour of the local police department to watch my tax credits at work. I highly recommend it.'_

The children return for a second visit to the Naberrie home. Ryoo and Pooja are excited to see their children again. Their children tell their parents about their camping adventure and beg to let them do it again next year. There is also an encore visit to the Wilson's home. George Wilson is not ready for all of the children visiting at once but somehow they all come for one last visit. There are eight visitors today. Martha Wilson meets Mara for the first time. Martha serves the children brownies and milk.

"I'm going to miss you all so much."

Radi smiles.

"We can come over on weekends, Mrs. Wilson. We live just a few blocks down the road."

"Well there's an idea."

Mara bites into the chocolaty treat.

"If I didn't have to go back home I sure would hang out here everyday."

Mrs. Wilson whispers to Luke.

"Luke, she's absolutely stunning. I'm sure you'll be very happy together."

"Thanks, Mrs. Wilson. I think she's pretty special."

Mr. Wilson takes this opportunity to slip outside. He is heading to the garage to get his hedge clippers.

Li-An grabs his brownie and follows Mr. Wilson into the garage. They peer through binoculars at the Mitchell house.

"I see movement, Mr. Wilson. When did they come home?"

"Last night."

"So, is Dennis some sort of serial killer or something? Are we waiting for him to do something? Why doesn't he come out of the house?"

"He's only allowed outside to visit his dad in prison. He wears a tracking device. He can't come outside. I love that!"

"What happens if he does?"

"An alarm goes off on the device and an he gets tasered by remote control."

"It would be so cool to see him leave the house and wriggle around like a space slug! Hah-ha!"

"It would indeed." Mr. Wilson adjusts the focus on his binoculars.

Li-An sees shelves of boxes in the garage.

"Gee, Mr. Wilson, what's all this stuff?" He is bored of spying on the Mitchell house and sets the binoculars down.

"Things I've confiscated from the Mitchell boy over the years. I've had so many rock and balls sail through my windows… Now where are those clippers? I have work to do."

"What are these things?" He lifts a slingshot from one of the open cartons sitting on the worktable.

"Slingshots. Don't touch them…"

Before Mr. Wilson can fully get out the words, Li-An stretches the wide rubbery attachment. He alls finds a ball to use as the projectile. The ball sails through the garage window, up on the rooftop, down the chimney and in the den where Mr. Wilson has successfully completed the assembly of one of the hardest model starships he has ever tackled. The rare model ship took three months to build and less than one minute to destroy. It lay on the wooden stand cocked to the side. A crater-shaped indentation is on the left wing. If this were a real ship, the damage is equivalent to that of a meteor rock. Li-An is a boy of few words right now.

"Oops…"

George and Li-An hurry inside the house to view the wreckage. George Wilson staggers into the den, his fingers to his quivering lips; he finally utters his first words.

"Oooo Nooo! All my hard work destroyed. Geez!"

Li-An gently pats the elderly man on the back.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson. Sometimes I don't realize my own strength." He tries to set the model in its original position. The model gradually crumbles in his small hands. "It doesn't look so bad…I'm sure I can fix it."

"It's impossible…too many broken pieces."

Li-An thinks Mr. Wilson is about to cry.

"..But I was born to fix things…my brother can fix things…my father can fix things…it's in our blood. I'll take it back home with me on Coruscant. I'll send it back to you good as new…I promise."

"I…I don't know, Li-An. You had better just leave it with me."

Li-An insists. He feels guilty enough as it is.

"Trust me." He gathers the wreckage and dumps it into a small box. Mr. Wilson watches helplessly as his investment is tossed into the carton.

A few months after returning to Coruscant, Li-An will send a parcel via 'Priority Imperial Express' mail. There is a note inside.

'_Well, Mr. Wilson, you were right. Some things just can't be fixed no matter how talented a person is. Just so we can still be best friends, I've sent you a replacement. I believe you will like it even better.'_

George Wilson sits on the ottoman in his living room as he opens the box. Martha Wilson walks in from the kitchen wiping her hands on a tea towel.

"What do you have there, George?"

"We'll see in a minute, Martha."

She notices the label on the box. It is from the Imperial post office. It must be important.

"It looks important, George. Did you receive a replacement citation for your years of service in the Imperial Navy?"

"Oh, the one Dennis gave to that kid in school and that subsequently fell in the lake? No…it's too heavy to be that."

He lifts a layer of excelsior. Encased in a removable crystal module, is an exact replica of the Imperial Super Star Destroyer. It even rotates in and hovers under its own power. George is delightfully surprised.

"Well, I'll be damned. I love this kid."

Li-An has done a remarkable thing…maybe.

When is takes place, Anakin sits in his office on a conference call. He swings left to right in his executive leather chair as he suffers through another boring lecture from Tarkin. Motti and Tagge are bickering in the background as usual. He swings right and his view is the Coruscant skyline and the Jedi Temple. The discussion between Tagge and Motti heats up over troop withdrawal on Geonosis. Anakin zones out on this portion of the meeting and focuses on other pressing matters.

He plays Sabacc Solitaire for a few rounds then glances at the holographs on his desk of his beautiful wife and children. He swings his chair to the left and looks at the bookshelf across the room next to the sofa. He sees things that remind him of days past: Leia's Ewok doll, Luke's honors plaque, and Leia's honors plaque, Leia's wedding holograph with Han Solo's image blocked by an 8" by 10" framed image of Skippy graduating from K-9 droid obedience school. He pans to the right of his own wedding and sees portraits of the Skywalker younglings. He even has several images of Artoo and Threepio displayed prominently in front of Han posing with the Dark Lord at Leia's wedding. He likes Han but it sucks having to be nice to the wiseass when he stops by the office to visit.

When he knows that the nerfherder is stopping by his office, Anakin rearranges the bolographs just to annoy him and to instill some self-doubt…just to keep the pirate in his place. He sighs happily then pans up to look at all of the items that have made him great:

There are images of him speaking to the troops and receiving thunderous applause from his minions, his wife again, his collection of speeders…his lightsaber license…an empty space…two Imperial Star Cruisers…He pans back to the empty space then makes a mental count of the replicas of the historic ships.

He counts again. The conference call is going on without him. Tarkin speaks.

"Your lordship, who shall we name to the post of …"

The officer participating on the conference call hear a response for the other end.

"Li-An!"

Li-An is in his Jedi Apprentice lightsaber training class with Jedi Knight Kyp Durron. He can hear his father call his name across town. The little Jedi freezes.

"Oh-Oh."

Han gets a nice surprise a several days after his return from Naboo. His speeder is finally repaired. It looks like new. There is a note on the dashboard. He asks the tow driver about it.

"Don't know nothin' 'bout that, Mister; I just drop 'em off."

"Yeah…right."

The driver gets back into his tow vehicle and takes off. Han reads the note.

_'Hey, Han_

_Your speeder is fixed. When have I ever not kept my word, eh? Oh…one thing…I took it for a spin…sweet ride…you have an extra 1000 kilometers on the odometer._

_Sincerely, Dad-in-law'_

The return home gives everyone something to look forward to for the Fall. Li-An looks through numerous birthday party invitations. Ana-Lena has a ballet recital to practice for school; Isabel rearranges her walk-in closet for the new Fall fashions and buying new shoes for the baby. Alex has little league plasma ball practice; Leia is decorating her new home as a married woman. Luke is promoted to Master. It is both a blessing and a curse. Anakin teases him relentlessly. _'So, do I call you 'Master' now, Mr. Bigshot?' _

Han meanwhile contemplates a promotion of his own. Accepting it, however, would mean certain implications involving specific Imperial parties who will not be pleased. At times like this, it helps to have the Dark Lord on your side.


	143. Chapter 143 Meetings and Closures

_Chapter 143_

_**PART 1**_

'_Meetings & Closures'_

'_Secretary of Defense'_

'_The Nerfenburg Trials'_

**

* * *

**

The officers scramble to make certain everything is in order for the return of their Commander-in-Chief. They have been living peacefully for the latter part of the summer during his absence. There is no more hanging out in the officer's lounge complaining about their boss or commenting about his short temper and unpredictable behavior.

Everyone falls into position as Anakin enters the building. Two low-ranking officers greet him in the lobby. The first office, Commander Praji addresses him as he passes the security desk.

"Good morning your Lordship. The fleet is ready for your inspection. Every corner of the docking area has been scrubbed clean in preparation for your return. All of the ships are in tiptop shape."

"Well, you had most of the summer to do it. It had better be in shape."

"No life forms are onboard."

"Oh, the exterminator was here?"

"Yes, your Lordship."

Anakin stops and looks up.

"Thank you, Commander. As you were. Hmmm…I sense something…Are all of the senior officers in the building today?"

The second officer trails behind Anakin like an eager puppy seeking a reward.

"Yes sir. They are awaiting your arrival, sir."

"Are they in the docking bay?"

"Not just yet sir…they are behind closed doors."

"Ohh…is that so? Let's gather them up now shall we? We'll surprise them."

"I'm sure they will be, Sir, but I don't think they'll tell you anything."

"Just leave that to me."

There is another great disturbance in the Force. The top brass at headquarters is unhappy with certain decisions in which they did not participate. An emergency 'top-secret' meeting is called to discuss _'the outsider'_. There is fear that great changes are about to take place. Many of the officers are concerned. Their stronghold on the Imperial military forces across the galaxy will be compromised. The Dark Lord takes great amusement in manipulating the officers under his command.

The meeting is held in secret. No one wants to let the Commander-in-Chief know about this meeting to discuss their displeasure concerning the changes taking place for fear of possible reprisals. There is still some of this dissension in the ranks of the top brass. A coup is in the works to sever the merger of the rebel and Imperial forces. The Imperial officers share little or no information with Generals Dodonna and Rieekan or anyone else from the former Rebel Alliance.

The Admirals, and other high-ranking officers, however, continue to make one fatal mistake. Their boss knows everything. He has a great source of information. It is his Executive Secretary Gladys. The Dark Lord gets wind of the meeting in a conference room on the ground floor.

Anakin walks down the hall of the ground floor to the suite of visitor conference rooms just across from the auditorium. He finds that the doors to one of the conference rooms is locked. He hears voices on the other side of the door and can feel the anger and fear within. He can even sense the sweating from their brows during the heated discussions. He is more amused than angered that the officers decide to hold this clandestine meeting. Two Imperial Naval lieutenants stand in front of the door in place of the Red Guard. This is clear indication that the officers are up to something.

"Step aside, soldiers."

The two soldiers refuse the Dark Lord entry to the room.

"This is a meeting for diplomatic purposes."

"Ohh, please! Out of my way."

He waves his hand and the two officers collapse to the floor. The lieutenant accompanying Anakin looks down at the two unconscious men.

"These are Ozzel's men. I don't think he knows they are here."

"He's as clueless as he is …oh, you know what? He's out on temporary disability. I reassigned his men to Motti." The officer waits for Anakin's next move. The Dark Lord sees that the lieutenant is still standing there. "Lieutenant, why are you still here?"

"I thought you might still require my assistance…you know…for moral support, Your Lordship, sir."

The doors swing open to reveal the guilty parties.

"Good morning gentlemen, what have we here? A meeting? Gee, I must have left the memo on my desk. I should ask Gladys what happened to it. So, tell me, what's the topic of discussion for this meeting?"

He casually walks around the table glancing at typed notes that Motti has in front of him on the table. One of the _'To Do'_ items on the list: _'Overthrow Commander-in-Chief__.'_ He continues to speak.

"…Maybe I have something to contribute to flow of things. No? Then I suggest you follow me down to the docking bay to review the troops." The men stand at attention. Anakin walks towards the door. He had something else to say. "…Oh…and Admiral, the next time you want to hold a top secret meeting to overthrow me, don't conduct it here in the building. Be a little creative and hold it in the diner down the block. You and Tagge are smarmy little _'siths'. _I'm sure you can think of some sneaky ways to try to undermine my authority. They won't work but it will be entertaining to watch nonetheless."

The senior officers file out of the room and head down to the hangar. The Lieutenant who led Anakin to the conference room is trailing him again. He whispers to the Dark Lord.

"Inciting these officers could prove dangerous. They could start a mutiny…it could generate sympathy for the Imperial Navy."

"They know better than to trifle with me. I'll give them just enough rope to hang themselves. I'm getting to the bottom of this."

"They'd rather die in a mutiny than to help you complete the last phase of the Imperial and Rebel integration."

The Lieutenant Daine Jir, becomes increasingly annoying to Anakin. He tries to think quickly to give him something to do. Anakin reaches in his pocket and pulls out a 10 credit note. He hands it to the officer.

"That's not your problem. Here, go up to the commissary and get me a large Bimmisaari tea no sugar. Have it ready before I head upstairs to my office."

"Is that a tall tea?"

"Just a large tea."

"They come in 'Tall', 'Grande' and 'Venti', sir."

"Repeat my request, Lieutenant Jir."

"Large Bimmisaari tea, no sugar, sir."

"Good, you're not a total idiot after all."

"Shall I bring it into the hangar, Your Lordship?"

"No! Just wait outside near the elevator." The officer is still standing there after taking the money. Anakin's eyes widen. "Why are you still here? Go!" Anakin stomps his foot to startle the officer who finally takes off for the Imperial commissary. Anakin rolls his eyes then follows the other officers towards the hangar.

Anakin and his would-be plotters enter the vast hangar. Anakin begins to review the troops. He inspects his elite 501st Legion commanded by General Veers. He continues down the line when he comes to General Rieekan.

"Good morning, General. Your men are in top form as usual. Did they enjoy the summer?"

"Yes, thank you, Your Lordship."

"I always look to boost morale."

Tagge and Motti roll their eyes in disgust.

"_Rebel Scum. What makes them so special?"_

They hate the fact that Anakin is showing favor to the _'outsiders.'_ Rieekan's men went to the base at Yavin 4 and performed some charity work. In return, the men got to spend three weeks of leave time on the beautiful tropical beaches.

Anakin continues to inspect the troops.

"Admiral Piett, your men exhibit the best improvement yet. A man in uniform is nothing unless he can shoot straight. Good job."

"Thank you, your Lordship. They have been at the range every morning before breakfast practicing."

"I suppose starving them first is one method of motivating them."

After the inspection, Anakin heads upstairs to his office. The _'Thank you'_ gift that his wife reminded him to send to Gladys arrive on time. It is a huge bouquet of mixed tropical flowers from Kashyyyk and a gift cheque. Anakin has a surprise for his wife too. He just has to figure out a way to make it happen.

When he arrives back at his office, he receives a few surprises of his own.

He appears in the door with a big smile on his face. His large tea is in his hand. His leather satchel is tucked under his left arm. Gladys sits at her desk. The flowers are prominently displayed. The tall stems, however, block the corner of the desk where he usually leans over to speak to his favorite Executive Imperial secretary.

"Gladys, how the hell are you?"

"Wonderful. How are you, Mr. Skywalker?"

"Just dandy. I had a great vacation; the kids had a great time. Everyone benefited. So, how was yours?"

She returns a blank stare then shuffles some papers.

"Absolutely lovely. Uli and I took a cruise to Yavin4. We relaxed in luxurious beach chairs and sipped fancy drinks with little umbrellas in them."

"Oh, that sounds cool…touristy but cool. So, what do you have for me today?"

She hands him a clip filled with about twenty messages. His eyes bug out in shock. He then flashes a smile pretending not to panic.

"What's this?...People wanting to shower me with gifts and good wishes?"

"Actually, most of them are from Admiral Motti and General Tagge. There's one in there from your interior designer. He's returning your message. The one at the top with the Imperial sticker is from a Mr. Fausto 'Fat Bantha' Mostaccholi of Tantive IV Contractors. He left a vague message about making you an offer you can't refuse. He wants to see you…preferably today."

"That was the extent of his message?"

"He says you have a mutual interest."

"Oh."

Anakin continues on to his office. His telephone lights up before he has a chance to sit down. He sets his tea and leather satchel on the desk then answers her page.

"Yes, Gladys?"

"Admiral Motti wants to see you."

"Tell him I will see him at the meeting."

He sits at his desk and removes a couple of boxes from the satchel. Each box is carefully wrapped in pink and gold leaf tissue with the words _'Naboo Duty-Free Shop'_ and _'Thank-you for Visiting the Royal Republic of Naboo.' _Each box is tied with pink silk ribbon that is held in place with a gold seal. One has a note card attached.

Gladys is still on the line.

"He's here."

Anakin mumbles to himself. Motti can be heard speaking to Gladys outside.

"He can't do this. It's against the military treaty. He agreed to abide by it. I should have known he would go back on his word."

Gladys whispers into the phone.

"Sir?"

"Fine! Send him in."

After a few moments, the door swings open. Anakin greets the Admiral with a 'forced', joyful smile.

"Good morning, Admiral."

Motti storms into the office ready for a bare-knuckled confrontation. Beads of perspiration appear on his forehead and temples. He dabs his brow with a handkerchief he pulls from his pocket. This makes Anakin smile more. He is curious to see how far Motti will take this unscheduled 'meeting' after the event earlier downstairs.

"Don't _'Good morning,'_ me Your Lordship. You and your sorcerer's ways. You're meddling in Imperial Naval business. I want to know the truth."

Anakin walks back to his desk and sits.

"Are you sure you can handle the truth? I'm surprised you have the audacity to come up here after that stunt you pulled this morning. I was almost beginning to have a new respect for you. You show great tenacity. I like that. Ahem…anyway, since you're so stubborn about this whole situation, I'll let you in on my plans. The rumors are true. I'm adding an officer to the fleet."

He lifts the lid from one of the boxes on his desk. He is certain that the delicacies will be hard to resist. The candy, made from peras cut into 1-inch squares and soaked in a pera liqueur, are popular across the galaxy. Each piece is then covered with a rich coating of the best dark chocolate. The mouth-watering confections are decorated with a gold leaf seal of Naboo. The chocolates are sinfully delicious with a price to match at 30 credits per half pound. Anakin gently pushes the 1-pound box across the desk in front of the Admiral. "Chocolate-covered pera?"

Motti feels that the Dark Lord is using his mystical powers to distract him. He remains steadfast and wants to focus on the issue at hand.

"No, thank you. The Joint Chiefs were promised that there would be no interference from you or the Chancellor regarding the men we select for each division."

"Well, things change, Admiral. You should know that. As far as selecting soldiers or reassigning them, that's still a decision I can make whether you approve or not."

"Does Tarkin know about this?"

"What Tarkin knows is irrelevant, Admiral."

Anakin casually rolls his stylus back and forth under his fingers. Motti watches this annoying action. He is waiting for the Dark Lord to change his mind.

"Well?"

"Well what? There's nothing more to say. My decision is made. Now, if you will excuse me, I have other pressing matters to tend to now. You may leave."

"This is not good, Your Lordship. Not good at all."

"Aren't you going to have a chocolate covered pera? They're good…come on, '_Monti'…_be a sport. I'm not holding a grudge. I have every right to be mad but I'm not…not anymore. Don't leave my office angry. Didn't I get you and your wife back together?"

"Don't make a mockery of this, Lord Vader."

"Now why did you have to go there, _'Monti'_?"

"You haven't heard the last of this. The other Joint Chiefs will not stand for it."

"Monti, get out of my office before you regret ever bringing up this issue."

The Admiral begrudgingly rises from the leather armchair. He nods quietly then pivots without saluting and leaves. He storms pass the desk where Gladys sits.

"Goodbye, Gladys."

"Good day, Admiral."

As soon as Motti leaves the office, Gladys steps away from her desk and walks into her boss's office. Anakin spins casually in his chair with his head back. She looks at him above the rim of her eyeglasses. Anakin knows she is about to lecture him.

"That couldn't have gone well."

Anakin plays the innocent victim.

"Don't give me that look, Gladys. I tried to reach out…I tried to make nice. I offered him chocolates. Who doesn't like chocolates when you're in a heated discussion?"

"Anakin, chocolates or not, these officers are not happy about this."

"It's just business."

"Speaking of 'business,' I made an appointment for you to meet with Mr. Mostaccholi this afternoon."

"All of these appointments, Gladys?...on my first day back? This is going to kill me."

"Now, Mr. Skywalker, come on, you can handle it. The morning just started."

""What time is it?"

"Nine-thirty…"

"That's it?"

"Yes, sir. Nine-thirty."

"I'm going to take a break. I'll see you in a couple of hours. Work is hard."

"Yes…life at the top is rough."

"It sure is, Gladys. See? You understand these things. I'm going to work out in the gym and then I'm going to take a nap."

"I'll page you in the gym before your appointment arrives."

"Gladys, you're the greatest."

After spending an hour in the gym for a game of handball with General Rieekan, a swim, 15 minutes in the sauna, a shower, and a nap, he gets his reminder from Gladys. He returns five minutes before his appointment. Gladys makes an announcement as he passes her desk.

"Sir, your appointment is in the executive dining room."

"How come?"

"Because you haven't had lunch yet, and when you're in a public place there's less of a chance of you losing your temper."

Anakin looks hurt.

"When do I ever lose my temper? Okay…fine."

"Mr. Mostaccholi will meet you in the executive dining room."

Anakin leaves the office and heads for the elevator.

The maître'd greets him as he arrives in the executive dining room. He is escorted to a corner table. A few minutes later, the infamous Fausto 'Fat Bantha' Mostaccholi follows the maître'd to Anakin's table. Anakin recalls his last encounter with the construction kingpin. He extends his chunky hand adorned with the gaudy rings Anakin remembers from their last encounter.

"Mr. Skywalker, how good it is to make your acquaintance again."

"Mr. Mostaccholi, what can I do for you today? My secretary says this meeting was urgent."

"First of all, Mr. Skywalker, I would like to congratulate you on the engagement of your son to Mara Jade…."

The waiter appears at the table. He is a tall gentleman in his mid sixties. He carries himself with an air of prestige. He bows reverently to the Dark Lord.

"Would you care to review the wine list, your Lordship?"

Anakin is not in the drinking mood. He wants this meeting to be over soon. As a courtesy, he defers to 'Fat Bantha.'

"Mr. Bantha?"

"Perhaps later, Mr. Skywalker. We need to talk."

Anakin looks up at the waiter.

"Perhaps later, Higgins."

"Very good, sir."

Higgins leaves the two men to chat. Anakin leans back in his seat quietly staring at the man at his table. He finally speaks once the waiter is gone.

"So, tell me Mr. Bantha, what was so urgent that you needed to see me today?"

"Okay, I'll get right to the point. As you are aware, little Mara Jade is my unofficial goddaughter…and seeing that she is engaged to your son, who, I might add, is a fine, upstanding young man. I am here to make a proposal."

"I'm flattered but I believe my son has taken care of that part and I am already married." He grins at his attempt to make a joke but he feels Fat Bantha is about to grate on his nerves. Bantha folds his beefy hands and leans forward at the table.

"Mr. Skywalker, by joining forces, together, we can give them a wedding befitting a member of the Mostaccholi and Jade family."

'What are you getting at?"

"Well, Mara's father, as you know, runs a good business but he's made some bad alliances with parties we both know. I think he would be ruined financially if he tries to pay for this wedding personally."

Anakin sees where this is going. Back when Vic Jade made a deal with the devil…namely the Emperor, all those years ago, his business suffered lest he give in totally to the Empire. Sure, Anakin would gladly help make his son's wedding a grand event but this feels like blackmail. Why should he be thrown on the fire because of past misdeeds of Palpatine?

"So you're asking me to bankroll this wedding? You're blackmailing me?"

"That's such an ugly word, Mr. Skywalker. But I must say your financial backing would solidify the bond between the five families."

"What 'five' families? Only two people are getting married here."

"My family is quite substantial …"

Anakin is calm but his piercing blue eyes have the intensity of a blazing fire.

"I bet. Listen, Mr. Bantha, I'm very fond of Mara. She's already like part of our family but don't think you can storm into my place of business and strong-arm me into funding this wedding." He quickly and discreetly reaches across the table and puts a vise grip on 'Fat Bantha's' forearm. The heavyset Bantha is shocked that the Dark Lord's slim but strong hand manages to hold his huge hand still. Bantha is puffing nervously with beads of sweat bursting from his forehead.

"If this has anything to do with that last construction job my crew did at your house, I humbly apologize

If there is anything I can do to make up for any misunderstanding…It won't cost you one red credit."

A smile creeps across Anakin's face. He slowly releases his Force-grip on the man.

"Perhaps there is something your staff can do."

Bantha thinks better about his scheme. He stops. He knows now that the Dark Lord is not to be trifled with. Anakin is insulted that the chunky thug was actually trying to intimidate him. What a big mistake.

After Anakin performs his mind trick on the man, everything is settled. Now he has an appetite. He summons Higgins back to the table. Fat Bantha feels different somehow. He no longer has the urge to 'motivate' the Dark Lord into any questionable agreement. He is ready to be compliant. Bantha suddenly regains his appetite. He turns to the waiter as if nothing has happened. He is back to his old oafish self.

"Hey, Jeeves, you got any _'anni pasti'_?"

"I beg your pardon, sir?"

"Anni pasti…you know…some gaba goo, some muzzarel, sauciche, tamatahs…"

The proper waiter seems perplexed.

"_Gobbledy goop_, sir? I'm sorry, sir. I don't believe we have such an item on the menu."

Fat Bantha throws his hands up, frustrated. He looks across the table at Anakin.

"Mr. Skywalker, can this guy understand anything?"

Anakin finds this quite entertaining but he feels for the poor waiter. He looks up at waiter and speaks softly and politely.

"Higgins, would you please bring us a plate from the charcuterie selection. I believe Mr. Mostaccholi will be pleased with it."

"Very good, sir. And what will your Lordship have today as a starter?"

"I will have the chilled carrot soup."

"Very good, sir. And are we selecting a wine today, sir?"

"Yes, a bottle of Vorru 18BBY Gruner Veltliner please."

"Excellent choice, your Lordship."

The waiter bows and leaves the men to talk. He rolls his eyes as he sneaks a glance at the preposterous Fat Bantha.

"My word."

A sommelier brings the wine. After Anakin approves, the gentleman fills the glasses. Fat Bantha raises his glass.

"To our families. Salute."

Anakin raise his glass.

"Prosit." He takes a drink from his glass then sets it on the table. "You know what, Mr. Mostaccholi? I was hesitant to meet with you today but now that I have, it has given me a better idea of what I need to do."

"Really?"

Higgins returns to the table and sets an oval-shaped plate in front of the rotund lunch guest. The meticulously arranged platter of naturally cured cold meats, fruits, cheeses, olives from Alderaan, raw and pickled vegetables resemble a work of art. Higgins sets a miniature carafe of aged balsamic vinegar on a round platinum tray to catch any spillage and beside it, another carafe filled with olive oil. Fat Bantha stares at the platter set before him. Higgins bows as he sarcastically addresses Fat Bantha.

"Your charcuterie and crudités, sir." He proceeds to serve Anakin his chilled soup. Fat Bantha reaches inside his jacket, looks up at the waiter, and then looks at Anakin as he points to Higgins.

"Crude what? Did _'Mister Stiff Upper Lip'_ call me crude?"

Anakin unfolds his cloth napkin as he looks at his guest across the table.

"No…crudités would be the fresh vegetables on your plate that our esteemed waiter, Mr. Higgins, has just presented you."

"Oooh, one ah dem fancy foreign words, eh?" He samples the delectable treats on the platter slurping up a fig and then gobbles down a chunk of aged Jundland cheese. He moves on to the thinly sliced Eopie Parma. The carefully dried meat melts in his mouth like butter. A peaceful smile forms across his big face. He closes his eyes. Anakin holds his spoon halfway to his mouth. He has never witnessed this before. Higgins stops serving to watch as well.

Across the room in the Imperial dining room, a table filled with officers sit and glance at the outsider sitting with the Dark Lord. None of this bothers Anakin. He finds this moment quite entertaining. Fausto _'Fat Bantha'_ Mostaccholi has just seen heaven. Anakin looks up at Higgins who almost became a casualty today. He had nothing to worry about, however. The 501st Legion security force confiscated his blaster downstairs in the lobby.

"Will there be anything else, sir?"

Anakin winks at the waiter.

"Thank you, Godfrey. That will be all."

"My pleasure, sir." He leaves the two men to dine in peace.

Fat Banta whispers across the table as he comes out of his stupor of having enjoyed the best first course in his life.

"You called him Godfrey. I thought his name was Higgins."

"Godfrey Higgins. He's my favorite waiter."

The sommelier returns to refill their glasses.

After the lunch meeting, Anakin bids good day the Fat Bantha and returns to his office. He checks his messages as he stands over Gladys' desk. Gladys is typing something on her computer.

"So, how was lunch?"

He scans her desk for other things of interest.

"Excellent, thank you very much. You're right…lunch does a body good."

"Good. I knew you would be fine."

"Sooo, Gladys, tell me about your vacation."

"Well…it could have been better."

He looks up from a stack of mail on her desk.

"Really? What happened?"

Gladys abruptly stops typing. She gives him that _'look'_; peering at him above the rims of her eyeglasses again. This cannot be good. He is about to get an earful of something he does not want to hear. Just as this happens, an uninvited guest drops in to eavesdrop. Gladys answers her boss.

"Who do you think managed the office while you were away this summer?"

"Uhm…you?"

"Exactly. So how could I have taken a vacation?"

"You took your work with you?...Oh…I see…so…you're making a point when you made that sarcastic remark earlier about you and Uli taking a luxury cruise to Yavin4."

He sees the specter of Master Qui-Gon Jinn. The Force Ghost is smiling. Anakin does a double take. He is not returning the smile.

"See, Anakin, I knew you had a brain in that handsome head of yours."

"So, you're trying to tell me you need a vacation?"

"No, Timmy fell down the reactor shaft."

"Who's Timmy? Oh, you're being sarcastic again." He rolls his eyes at Qui-Gon who is enjoying this banter way too much.

"Anakin, I need a vacation and I want one."

"Why?"

"It's in my employee benefits package. I'm entitled."

"It is? Oh…well, I didn't know you people took those benefit brochures literally."

"Well, it's in my contract."

"What contract?"

"The one I drafted and the one that you signed."

Qui-Gon folds his arms across his chest and nods. _'Damn, she's good.'_

Anakin continues to ignore the ghost..

"I signed something giving you the right to abandon me?"

"I am not _abandoning_ you. Besides, it will be good for the both of us."

'_See, Ani, she's doing it for the better good.'_

"How is it going to be good for 'the _both of us_?' It sure isn't going to be good for _me_! That's it! You're fired! _'Entitled!_' Ha!"

Anakin throws the stack of mail down on her desk and then shakes his finger at her wildly. Gladys would laugh but doing so would be like fanning the flames of his insanity. She very calmly answers him. His voice can be heard outside in the hall of the Executive floor. No one can hear the soft-spoken _'Best Damned Executive Imperial Secretary Ever'_ but they can sure hear the ranting of the Imperial Commander-In-Chief. A few officers walk down the hall with Governor Tarkin. The executive secretary for General Rieekan is startled. Admiral Piett's secretary happens to be with her to turn in a memo. She smiles awkwardly.

"Don't worry. It'll be over soon. Gladys knows how to handle things."

"But my desk shook."

Back inside the Dark Lord's office, the _'discussion'_ continues. Qui-Gon chuckles as he watches the pair spar. Gladys still has the upper hand.

"You can't fire me. I'm going on vacation."

Anakin is hurt. He feels betrayed. One look at his face and anyone would think he has lost his best friend.

"Gladys, I thought we were friends."

"We are, but first and foremost, you are my boss."

"Let me get this straight…I'm your boss but I can't fire you?"

Gladys continues typing then starts the printer.

"That's right."

"That's not fair."

"Anakin, I'm doing this for us. Besides, it's all taken care of. I called the temporary agency and arranged for someone come in and work for you while I'm gone."

"But I don't want anyone else but you. Come on…I'll give you a raise…."

"That's very generous of you, dear, but you just gave me a raise."

"I did?"

"But since you're in the giving mode, I couldn't outright refuse…it would be rude to turn down such a generous offer…after all, I am a conscientious worker…but then again…on the other hand…It wouldn't be right to accept a raise for work I haven't done…."

"Fine! No raise for you!"

"But, Anakin, dear, you just gave me a raise." She looks up at him as she takes the paper from the printer and folds it. She slips it into a prepared envelope and seals it. Anakin clenches his fists at his sides and speaks in a firm but quiet tone.

"I am rescinding the offer."

"You can't promise someone a raise and then break your promise. Where is your integrity, dear?"

"It's going on vacation just like you are!"

"Oh, Anakin, you're taking this awfully hard."

"But I thought you were my friend." He looks genuinely hurt.

Gladys places the envelope into the 'Outgoing Mail' bin for pickup. She maintains her calm, motherly tone with him.

"Today you are only my boss because bosses let their secretaries take vacation. Now…you…have a meeting in five minutes in the Imperial Conference Room IV."

The phone console on her desk lights up. She answers it while looking up at Anakin and points to the clock on the wall.

"Good afternoon, Anakin Skywalker's office…oh…yes…He's still here…you need to know what?...One moment please…"

She presses a button to put the call on hold and looks up at her boss who is pouting.

"It's your new hire. Orientation just ended. Where do you want them to go next?"

"Transfer the call in my office." He has nothing more to say to Gladys. He is too distraught. Anakin closes the door and sits at his desk to take the call. Qui-Gon follows and sits on the sofa across from Anakin's Desk. Anakin turns his back to the ghost and speaks into the phone.

"Hey, how was your orientation this morning?...yeah…they tend to go on forever…that's Human Resources for you…good…well, you've learned something…Me? No, I'm fine…everything in my G'damned world is just peachy! I'm having a great _'effing'_ day! Sorry…Yes…really….I'll be fair. Who told you I'm on medication? Well, she talks too much …you should know that by now…Anyway, back to this meeting…soon…of course they'll like you…what's not to like?…you were hired for a reason…You have that winning personality…Well…go on in and introduce yourself. Just wait till they get a load of you….I should be down there shortly."

Anakin hangs up. He massages his temples for a moment then grabs his leather folder and heads out the door. He does not look at Gladys as he speaks. He is too angry.

"If you're still around, I'll be at my meeting."

Qui-Gon leans against one of the file cabinets behind Gladys' desk. He laughs.

'_You told her! Wait…were you talking to me?'_

The afternoon meeting is about to start. Conference Room IV is open for business. The Red Cloaked Guards stand at the entrance. The Imperial Top Brass files into the room. There is grumbling amongst them as they walk pass the guards. They have not yet noticed that someone has arrived ahead of them. The officers are not happy.

"I think we should file a formal complaint to Chancellor Valorum. This change is going to compromise our plans."

"He'll compromise _your_ plans, General, _not_ mine."

"We have to do something to destroy his chances of succeeding."

"Well, we had better act fast before the arrogant little snot gets a chance to do anything…."

Their talking dies down as they approach the huge black table. A pair of boots rest on the table behind a floral centerpiece. The wearer of the boots leans back in one of the black leather chairs. There is a big smile on his face.

"Good afternoon, comrades. Come on in. don't be shy. Pull up a chair."

The officers stand in silence. Tagge and Motti are immediately incensed. Their attention turns to Admiral Piett. Tagge mutters to the Admiral.

"You've bee gaining favor from the big guy upstairs. What do you know about this?"

"Nothing. I'm just as surprised as you." He gulps nervously and tugs at his collar.

Tarkin enters the room.

"Good afternoon, gentlemen. Please be seated."

Motti walks around the table and slams his leather folder onto the table near the boots belonging to the new member of their group.

"You're sitting in my chair."

"I don't see your name on it, pal."

"General Tagge and I always sit together."

"Inseparable are you? Oh…I see…you miss exchanging your witty repartee as you make fun of your boss. You two kids can play at recess. Sit over there; you'll get a better view of my smiling face."

Han Solo points to one of the empty leather chairs on the other side of the table.

Motti angrily grabs another chair and sits. He stubbornly folds his arms across his chest. Anakin enters just as Tarkin is about to sit. One everyone is at the table, the doors close.

"Good afternoon, men. I see you've met your new Liaison officer. General Han Solo is the new Oversight Liaison Officer. He will be reporting directly to me. For the next month, he will be shadowing each of you to familiarize himself with your day-to-day duties. His main function is to make sure that the senior officers are utilizing the troops under their command effectively. He will make recommendations and submit any inefficiency reports to my office."

Tagge mutters something to the officer beside him.

"In other words…he's the corporate snitch."

Anakin looks down the row of chairs on the left side of the table and sees Tagge.

"Do you have something to say, General?"

"No, Your Lordship."

"Because, if you do, lets' all hear it."

"I'm just concerned…and I speak for every one of my comrades, that these changes cannot be all that helpful. It's not as if we're unable to police ourselves."

"Who said anything about police?"

"You know what I mean."

"General, you're taking this much too hard…Can't we all get along?"

Anakin leaves his chair and walks over to where Tagge is sitting. He pats the office on the back. Tagge sits nervously in his seat. Tarkin's aide, Chief Bast, watches nervously as he sits beside his boss. Anakin hovers near the angry general and playfully pats Tagge on the head then examines his scalp.

"You worry too much…Taggy, is that a weave you've got?"

Tagge moves his head away and smoothes his cropped hair.

"Do you mind?"

Anakin rubs his fingers together to examine something on his fingertips.

"Tagge, do you put sculpting gel in your hair? What is this _'sith'_?

Han is sitting back with his hands folded in his chest grinning. Tarkin wishes to move on.

"Stop this! Anakin, release him. Now, let us get on with this meeting. So, General Solo, care to move your feet from the table and tell us a little more about yourself?"

"Oh! Sorry. Sure"

Han blushes then clumsily removes his feet from the black granite table. Anakin takes a napkin from the buffet table near the window, dips it in the water carafe then wipes his fingers. Tarkin continues.

"You come to us with a military background but not a lengthy service. What can you bring to the table besides your boots?"

Motti agrees.

"Yes, tell us. We're dying to know."

Han has had time to observe the officers these past several minutes bicker and protest his present. Their icy 'welcome' is not lost on him. He sits up straight then places his palms on the surface of the table and leans forward.

"Well, first I want to thank you for that warm welcome a few minutes ago. It had all the warmth of a Wampa hut. So, you want to know about little ol' me, eh?... Oh…well…I was born on Corellia. My parents are both professors. I have traveled extensively with them on many occasions…I spent freshman year backpacking across Kashyyyk studying primitive cultures…You've met Chewie haven't you? We paid a visit to your space station several years ago. Man, you guys should have seen the expressions on your faces back then. We can all laugh about it now, right?" He gets no reaction from the officers. "Anyway…I uhm…studied archaeology at Corellia University and got my Master's from The Geonosis School of Antiquities and my PhD. At Coruscant University…"

He is losing his audience. Anakin interjects to generate interest.

"That's a first rate Ivy League school. My wife went there, I should know. Solo's smarter than he looks and _he_ got admitted… go on, Han."

Han smiles sarcastically at his father-in-law who is seated again.

"Gee…thanks for the glowing endorsement…Anyway…I have been looking over some of the data sheets on some of your missions and I feel that my experience will come in handy…" He notices grumble from the officers around the table. "…so what else do you stiffs want to know about me?"

Han watches as Motti squirms in his chair. Admiral Motti leans forward, staring directly at Solo. He is hoping to make the scoundrel-turned-general flinch.

"I'm sure everyone here is glad you did so well in rock and fossil school digging up old bones and stealing trinkets. I have a more relevant question for you, General. You recently had your court martial overturned. How does one go from being a dishonorably discharged lieutenant to a general after such a long period out of service? See? I did my homework too. "

Most of the other officers nod in agreement.

"Here, Here."

Han raises his eyebrows and smirks.

"Touché! I didn't do my homework on you but I have a gut feeling I have you figured out. You have little tolerance for individuals who are different from you. You're uptight and have probably been a miserable soul all your life. So, before you start riding me about my military record, take a look at your past."

Anakin sits gleefully in his chair.

Motti is determined to whittle Solo down to wipe the smug expression from his face.

"My record isn't the issue here, _'General'. _The issue we have is your experience, or lack thereof, that qualifies you as a military liaison officer. Your military background is jaded at best. If there is something we here at this table are missing, please, let us know."

A few vocal officers agree.

"Here, here."

Han starts to respond.

"I see your 'Yes Squad' is here cheering you on. Any of you guys ever think for yourselves? Now…as I have stated a moment ago, I believe I have enough experience…"

Motti interrupts again.

"You haven't demonstrated that yet, General Solo. You have some explaining to do pertaining to your military record…Your father in-law-may think you have talent but the senior brass is not convinced at all…"

"Can I speak?..."

"I have the floor, General Solo…you will speak when we are ready you hear you…and so far, we are not pleased with this …"

"…Are you going to let me talk?"

"You haven't said anything that we want to hear yet."

"Then you're going to have a long wait."

General Dodonna, Rieekan, and another guest quietly ender the room and sit in the guest chairs behind Anakin. The officers try to keep Han from speaking.

"You know, Admiral, you seem to have forgotten that shooting off at the mouth tends to set my father-in-law into a Force-choking sorcerer's frenzy. I should know."

The room goes quiet. Anakin sneaks a dirty look ay his new hire. Han continues speaking and pulls out a stack of documents with _'Top Secret' From the Office of Conan Antonio Motti, Admiral Imperial Navy.'_

"Admiral, you want to block me from talking, but here's the rub, I've got some interesting information concerning your so-called military preparedness strategy. You arrogant bozo's haven't quite learned your lesson. Another space station, Admiral? Tsk…tsk…I don't see any of the necessary signatures for that technological terror under construction near the Endor moon…."

Admiral Motti is incensed. He lunges across the table towards Han. Han holds the documents above his head, taunting the officer.

"Oops! Missed! The taxpayers are going to want to know about the cost overruns for a project that was never approved in the first place."

"Where did you get that?"

"If I told you, I would have to kill you. Gee…I had reservations about taking this job but I think it's going to be a blast. I hope you guys don't freak out too much because of the nepotism thing."

"This is a travesty! Governor Tarkin, aren't you going to do anything about this?"

"Sorry, gentlemen, but I am only here as an observer. All grievances must go through the Officers' Liaison Office. General, Solo, do you have anything else to add?"

"No…I don't think I'll rattle their cages anymore today. There's plenty of time for that."

Anakin smiles and says a few words.

"I just want to thank General Solo for spending some time with you today. You'll be seeing him on a daily basis after today. Before we end the meeting and enjoy some refreshments, I would like to welcome our two newest board members. General Jan Dodonna and General Carlist Rieekan are in the process of permanently setting up office in the executive suite. They will be attending our strategy meetings from now on. The generals bring to the table a combined total of 65 years military experience. I want you all to welcome them." There is strained applause around the conference table as the two officers stand and greet the other officers. "With that, this meeting is adjourned. Thank you for coming."

The Imperial officers leave the table. A crowd forms around the buffet table. Some of the officers immediately walk over to chat with Han while Tagge, Motti, and a few others stand at the far end of the table. Motti pops a mini powered doughnut into his mouth when someone walks up behind him slapping him on his back. He coughs up some of the sweet white powder. He turns to see who has caused his near choking.

"Hey, Motti, no hard feeling, eh? It's just business. I've got to show the big boss I'm pulling my weight."

Admiral Motti looks at the new liaison officer. He swallows the doughnut then glares at Han.

"You won't last long around here, General. Your boss won't always be around to protect you."

"Thanks for the pep talk, _'Ant-nee.'_"

Han works his way toward the door. He is grabbed by someone and discreetly pulled aside in the crowded room. It is his father-in-law.

"Oh, hey…so how did I do?"

"Do me a favor?"

"What's that?"

"Don't go around telling the officers I'm going to choke them."

"But you do."

"Han, I'm doing you a favor her because I don't want my daughter's husband getting roughed up by gangsters while you're on some foolish mission doing a Kessel Run. I want you in a stable, legitimate job. You screw up and this will be the shortest career you've ever had."

"Sorry."

"Now, there's someone waiting for you over there." He tips his head towards the video screen. As Han makes his way over, he sees a familiar face chatting with officers Tarkin, Dodonna, and Rieekan.

"Hey, Dad! Surprised to see you here."

"You've remembered almost everything I taught you, except when to shut your mouth."

"I think it went quite well."

"Just don't get too cocky on your first day on the job." He takes a sip from his teacup. "…Anyway, congratulations, Junior."

"Thanks, Dad. Oh, Dad? While we're here and all, could you please address me as General Solo. I'm dealing with a hostile crowd as it is. The _'Junior'_ part isn't helping."

"Did they like you when you arrived?"

"No."

"Well, don't expect them to like you tomorrow, Junior."

"Thanks for the morale boost, Dad."

Anakin slips out of the room and heads backup to his office. He sees Gladys busy at her desk.

"I'm back."

"And I'm still here, dear."

"Any messages?"

"Yes. Your wife called. She's out shopping with Mrs. Solo. She asks that you please pick up Ana-Lena from nursery school on your way home and you'll have to stop by your mother-in-law's house to pick up the baby."

"Thank you."

He continues on to his office. He immediately returns to Gladys' desk and presents her with something.

"During my tirade this morning I neglected to give this to you."

Gladys takes the gift-wrapped box and smiles.

"Oh, Mr. Skywalker, how lovely."

"If you unwrap it, there's something inside."

"Well I know that." She gives him one of her motherly looks again. Her twinkling soft blue eyes gaze up at him. She winks. "I don't want to ruin the beautiful paper by opening it."

Anakin becomes agitated.

"It's meant to be opened! Will you just unwrap it? Why do you make my life so difficult? I had it specially wrapped for you."

"Well what's the point? You know I don't require all of this fancy wrapping, Anakin."

"I swear, Gladys, if you don't unwrap this box…"

"Oh stop it…" She grabs a scissor and snips off the ribbon then removes the wrapper. She smiles sweetly. "Oh, how thoughtful. A box of Naboo chocolate-covered peras. This feels like Mother's Day all over again. I'm going to wrap this back up and bring it home to Mr. Jensen. We can reopen it together."

Anakin rolls his eyes.

"Yeah… fine…whatever floats your boat."

"Thank you, you're a darling."

"You're welcome, Gladys. It's a pleasure. After all, you do so much for me….Sooo…you're still going on vacation?"

"Of course I am, sweetheart. What makes you think I wouldn't?"

In a huff, Anakin pivots and disappears in his office. A few minutes later Anakin leaves his office. He is carrying his leather satchel. His lightsaber is attached to his belt. He puts on his sunglasses.

"Gladys, I'm on my way to the school to pick up my daughter."

Gladys looks at the clock. It is not yet 2:45 pm.

"Okay. Have a good evening, Sir."

"You too. Happy packing."

"Already done."

"Of course."

Anakin gets into his YUV and heads for Garm Bel Iblis Private School. The teachers stand in the courtyard with the children while their parents arrive to pick them up. Ana-Lena sees her father and leaps into his arms.

"Hi, Daddy."

"Hello, sweet pea. How was school?"

"Great. I drew a picture for you."

"You did?"

"Yes. See?"

Anakin takes the paper. It is a drawing of her father. He is waving goodbye to someone on a commercial starship. The starship is decorated with little palm trees.

"It's…it's beautiful, Ana-Le. Thank you."

"Don't be sad, Daddy. She'll be back."

"Come on, you. Let's go pick up your little brother."

He fastens her into the child seat then heads across town to his in-laws.

They arrive in time for Kris to wake up from a nap. Ana-Lena runs to see her grandfather and brother. Anakin chats with his mother-in-law. Ouisanne is glad to see him.

"Anakin, how was your first day back to work?"

"Heaven. My secretary is running around the galaxy, my kids are giving away my possessions before I'm in my grave, and my oldest daughter is babbling to her husband about my meds…what do I have to do to get respect around here?"

"You'll always have it in this house, dear."

"Thanks, mom. How's our little Ewok doing?"

"Kris is an absolute angel."

"You can be honest. What did he do? "

"Nothing too serious… he's quite the escape artist."

"Oh, that."

"You knew? Aren't you afraid he'll hurt himself?"

"No. He's got a guardian angel looking out for him…or so I thought."

"Oh."

Anakin smile nervously as his mother-in-law gives him a wary look. Anakin makes a mental note to have a 'chat' with Force Ghost Godfather and Saint, Ki-Adi Mundi.

Anakin and the children stay at the house for about an hour chatting with his in-laws before the ride home. Ana-Lena sits in the backseat with Kris. She admires her artwork while Kris plays with Nakai's remote control. Anakin makes a u-turn back to the Nor house before heading home again. He looks in his rear-view mirror at Ana-Lena. She talks to Kris while still gazing at her artwork from school. Anakin speaks to his daughter.

"Ana-Le?"

"Yes, Daddy?"

"You want to help Daddy surprise Mommy?"

"Okay. Are we going to have a tea party?"

"Better."

"Yaaaah!" She stops to think for a moment. "What's better than a tea party, Daddy?"

"You'll see."

"What's the surprise?"

"I'll tell you when the boys come home"

They arrive home just as Li-An and Alex are entering the house from a day at the Jedi Academy. Li-An looks at his Jedi Academy watch he got from Leia for his graduation from Youngling level. It has a compass and gives the time on seven systems.

"Where have you guys been? You should have been home hours ago."

"We stopped by to pick up your brother and visit with your grandmother."

"Does she miss us?"

"After you ruined her flower garden with your lightsaber practice? Immensely. She can't wait to have you back."

"We fixed it."

"Get inside."

Threepio, Skippy, and Artoo greet them at the door. Threepio holds the door open for them.

"Well, good afternoon, children, Master Ani. I see you did quite well with the Youngling roundup today."

"Yes I did. All children present and accounted for."

"I prepared a lovely snack for you and the children. Madame did most of the work actually. All I needed to do was to preheat the toaster oven."

Alex heads for the kitchen.

"Is it sweet?"

"Well, it all depends on how you look at it. Cheese and apple finger sandwiches."

Alex is disappointed.

"I guess that's okay."

"I'm sure your mother is going to be grateful that her snack selection has met with your approval…and before you touch one morsel, you children march over to the sink and wash your hands. That goes for you too, Master Ani…" He nervously clears his throat. "I have special orders from your wife to make sure you set an example."

"Fine! Come on, kids. I'm setting an example. We're going to wash up and behave like civilized people."

Threepio follows them to the sink to witness the washing of the hands. Anakin gives the droid one of his looks. Threepio stands his ground.

"Madame has instructed me to oversee the hand washing."

"Fine. Kids, use soap."

They dry their hands then gather at the table. Anakin smiles.

"Lets' eat, guys so we can have our discussion."

Ana-Lena shouts out.

"We have to say grace first."

Anakin folds his hands and does a quick version that his wife never hears.

"Rub-a dub dub, thanks for the grub! Amen!"

The children giggle. Li-An looks at his father.

"So, what's the discussion about, Dad?"

Ana-Lena holds a quarter of the pre-cut sandwiches.

"It's a surprise."

"Dad! You told her first?"

"Calm down. She doesn't know anything."

"That's a relief. One word to her and she'll blab it all the way to the Outer Rim."

"No I wouldn't! Daddy, I won't tell." Ana-Lena is about to cry.

"Li, will you please stop taunting your little sister for once?"

Li-An offers a flippant monotone apology.

"I'm sorry. Please don't cry." He bites into his sandwich.

Alex wants to know about the secret.

"What discussion?"

Anakin smiles mischievously. Li-An can tell this is going to be something they may regret.

"Ohh…one of those…it's a scheme. Why drag us into it?"

"Trust me, she'll love it. We'll just have to keep her out of the house for a few days. She can't say _'No'_ if she thinks it your idea."

"There's a sale on Rodia Drive."

"Good call, Li. We'll send her on a week-long shopping spree."

"Dad, why are you under this illusion that Mom shops all the time?"

"Have you seen her closet lately? I rest my case."

That evening at the dinner table, Isabel watches as her husband and children enjoy a quiet dinner. No one is fighting; Kris is not tossing food across the room or trying to climb out of his highchair.

"Is everything alright?"

Li-An looks at his mother with wide-eyed innocence.

"Yes. Dinner is great, Mom."

Alex munches on a broccoli floret.

"Yeah, you're the best cook in the galaxy. Notice that I'm eating my broccoli? I usually push it to the side of the plate as you told me to when I'm in mixed company. Now that I've actually tasted it…it's actually pretty good."

"I'm glad to hear you've discovered a new-found affinity for broccoli, Alex…So, what gives?"

"Nothing." He stuffs another forkful into his mouth. Isabel is not convinced. She smells a rat and it is sitting at the head of the table. The rat jumps into the conversation.

"Honey, you've had a hard day shopping and then you still find time to prepare this lovely meal for us. The least we can do is to show our appreciation."

"You're sticking to that story?"

Li-An sips his milk.

"Geez, Mom, you complain when we fight at the table and then you complain when we're good. There's no satisfying you."

"Well, call me suspicious but you're all up to something and your father's the ring leader. He's got you agreeing with one another."

"Are we being punished?"

"No. Go play for awhile. I'll have dessert for you Stepford children in half an hour."

Alex stops and turns to his mother.

"Who are the _'Stepford'_ children? Do they live nearby?"

"Go."

They leave the table. Even through dessert and bedtime, the children are on their best behavior. Just before she gets ready for bed, she joins her husband on the terrace just outside of their bedroom.

"So…how was your day?"

"It was rough. I was actually busy. How are your new shoes?"

"Fine."

"Good. We've got that out of the way. Do you know what happened to me today?"

"Not a clue, but I'm sure you're going to tell me…"

"Gladys is going on vacation."

"So?"

" So? So? She's leaving for god knows how long and she's hiring a temp."

"And this is bad because…?"

"How could she do this to me, Isabel?"

"Well, she is due for a vacation. You took a vacation."

"I knew you would take her side."

"Oh , cut it out! It's two weeks and a few days plus travel time."

"Three weeks!"

"It's not easy working for you, you know."

Suddenly, he changes his strategy.

"Isabel, you're right. I should look at this as a positive thing."

"I'm proud to hear how mature you're being now that you've listened to reason. Coming to bed, sport?"

"In a bit. I'm just going to take in some fresh air. I'll be inside in a minute."

Isabel gives him a peck on the cheek then goes back inside the house. Anakin stands alone…but not for long.

'_What are you doing out here?'_

"So…you finally show up, you coward."

'_Who's the coward? You got brow-beat this afternoon by a silver-haired lady.'_

"You were no help."

'_What did you expect me to do, scare her to death? Listen, Ani, it was fun to watch. Gladys is a force to be reckoned with…She sure cleaned your clock!'_

"It wasn't funny. By the way, where's that other coward?"

Another image appears. Anakin folds his arms.

"Oh, long time no see, horrible Force Spirit Godfather. Why aren't you keeping an eye on my son?"

'_That child needs discipline.'_

"He's a baby!"

'_He doesn't listen to me.'_

"Qui-Gon, take over and don't put him back in charge of my child until his knows how to guide him."

'_I've already got my hands full with the twins and Li-An. How about Mace? All he has is Alex.'_

"Fine."

Mace Windu appears.

'_Hold on now, this wasn't part of the agreement. I never agreed to take more than one of your badass kids. What about Aayla?'_

'_I'm busy molding my 'little miss' into the Jedi she's meant to be. She has a lot on her mind. I have to protect her.'_

"By the way, don't scare my kids again. I don't want them freaking out whenever they go camping."

'_All I did was toss some acorns at the tent. Those little monsters scare easy.'_

Mace laughs.

'_That was funny as hell. Those boys got the scare of their lives that night. Face it, Anakin, the only reason you encouraged them to camp outside was because you wanted to spend the night alone with your wife. And we all know how well that turned out.' _He sighs then nods his head._ 'Fine! I'll take the baby under my wing. Poor kid. He needs the correct guidance, not some Saint who can't handle children.'_

Ki-Adi Mundi raises his hand as if making a pledge.

'_I promise I'll do better next time.'_

"Next time? My kids aren't for you to practice on. Mace is going to train you. You screw up and I'm stripping you of your godfather duties."

'_Okay! I'll make it right. Your kids are no picnic, Anakin.'_

"My kids are just fine. I'm exhausted. I'm going to bed."

The following morning Anakin arrives at the office; his tea in hand. He has a feeling that today is going to be a tough one. He is still upset with Gladys.

"Good morning, Gladys."

"Good morning, sir…" She hands him his messages. He starts towards his office when she makes an announcement. "Oh, Mr. Skywalker, someone is coming today…"

"That's nice. I'm not taking any calls today, Gladys…oh, and clear my calendar. I'm not taking any appointments today. I'm going to be extremely busy."

"Yes, sir…but…"

"Not now, Gladys."

Anakin keeps walking and disappears inside his office. He quietly force-closes the door and tosses his satchel on the coffee table. With a dull thud, he falls back on the sofa and starts massaging his temples. A few minutes pass. The red light on the intercom flashes. Anakin releases a long woeful sigh before waving his hand at the intercom near the sofa. He hears the motherly voice of Gladys as the light stops flashing.

"Anakin, dear?"

"Yes, Gladys."

"Sir, I want to introduce you to someone."

"Not now, Gladys." His voice sounds weary. Gladys knows better. She is not afraid to push a little.

"When, sir?"

"Later."

"We'll catch you on your way out then."

"If you must."

Click goes the phone. Silence at last….but not just yet. Someone is sitting at his desk.

'_How long do you expect to hole up in here?'_

"For as long as it takes."

Qui-Gon rifles through the desk drawers.

'_I hope you have enough provisions to last you or else Gladys is going to return from her vacation to find a dried up old corpse on the sofa.'_

"I don't care."

'_Yes you do. Ani, you're being stubborn. Why don't you go out there? Be the bigger person and talk to them.'_

"Because this is as big as I'm going to get."

'_But Gladys is so proud of you. She wants to show what a great boss she has.'_

"I'm not a window display. I don't need to be shown off like a show droid. I can call in for lunch."

'_That means you'll eventually have to open the door.'_

"_Sith!"_

'_Ani, be sociable and not a sociopath. You were one once…it didn't work.'_

"I have a headache. You hurt my feelings you know."

'_What? For calling you a sociopath when you were young?'_

"No! For saying no one would notice I were missing if I died of starvation in here. I have a family who loves me. Now I just have a headache."

'_Maybe you should eat something.'_

Anakin sulks on the sofa for the remainder of the morning. Lunch hour draws near. The stubborn Sith's stomach is growling. Qui-Gon is looking at the family holographs on the bookshelf. He laughs to himself when he sees Han Solo strategically hidden behind the others.

'_Ani, you kill me! Poor Solo!'_

Suddenly there is a knock on the door. Anakin opens his eyes. He can hear voices. He especially hears the voice of his '_Not-so-favorite-at-the-moment_' Imperial Executive Secretary.

"Anakin, dear…I took the liberty of ordering lunch from the Executive Dining Room."

"Oh…okay…"

Qui-Gon grins and decides to taunt Anakin.

'_Ani! It's a trap! __It's a trap! Hee hee hee!'_

Anakin returns a dirty look then gets up and opens the door. Two catering assistants immediately enter the sanctity of his office wheeling in a cart with platters of food. The two men set up everything on the round conference table near the glass bookcase. Anakin stands awkwardly by as Gladys waits and then thanks them. As the waiters let themselves out, Gladys immediately introduces Anakin to her temporary replacement.

"Mr. Skywalker, I would like you to meet Miss Agnes DiPesto. Miss DiPesto, this is my lovely boss Anakin Skywalker. I thought it would be nice to order in lunch so we could enjoy a casual '_get-to-know-you.'_ I want everyone to feel comfortable."

Anakin nods politely.

"I'm sure Mrs. Jensen has told you all about me."

"Yes sir." Miss DiPesto has a friendly and sweet disposition and a bit on the timid side.

"Well, shall we?"

Anakin remains civil and charming but does not appreciate being ambushed. He becomes distracted every few minutes by Qui-Gon who is laughing at them when he is not rummaging through the office. Anakin makes faces at the Force Ghost signaling for him to stop. Miss DiPesto looks around the room wondering who he is _'looking'_ at.

After lunch, Gladys puts Agnes through the ropes. Anakin is once again alone in his office after the two men return to clean up and Agnes follows Gladys around. Reality sets in as Anakin concedes that Gladys is going to leave him for awhile.

By days' end, Anakin and his Executive Secretary say 'goodbye'. He is still feeling like a wronged child. The first day without Gladys around will be one for the history books.

It is a new week and the first day without Gladys. The day starts out calmly enough. The Dark Lord is at meetings all morning outside the office all morning. He does not show up at his office until lunchtime. Miss DiPesto hands him his messages.

"Good afternoon, sir."

"Good afternoon…"

"Agnes DiPesto…but you can call me Agnes."

Anakin is disinterested.

"Yeah…"

"Oh, sir…Admiral Motti would like to meet with you. I noticed you have the entire afternoon free so I scheduled him at 2 o'clock."

"Why?"

"You had an opening. Gladys said to schedule all of your meetings…especially the difficult ones in the afternoon…after you've had your lunch of course."

"I'm not hungry."

He is lying. He is starving. He had planned to spend it with his wife but she was at her _'Mommy & Me'_ class with baby Kris. Isabel would have gladly invited him but the last thing he wanted was to be locked in a room full of cackling hens gossiping and laughing like Salacious Crumb.

He searches the small office refrigerator behind the wet bar in his office for anything to tide him over until his _'substitute secretary'_ goes home. He finds a jar of baby food belonging to Kris. He snatches the tiny jar from the refrigerator. Just as he is about to sit at his desk to open the jar of strained carrots and pera, there is a knock on the door. He is ready to refuse entry to whoever is on the other side when Miss Pesto pokes her head inside and enters the office. Anakin is like a deer in headlights. One hand is on the top of the jar.

"Mr. Skywalker, I took the liberty of ordering your lunch. Gladys says you love sliced roasted duck breast over rice with poached peaches……grilled asparagus…oh…and here is your peach flavored iced tea. "

Anakin watches as the woman sets the tray on the desk in front of him. It does smell good. The jar of baby food sits on the far left corner of the desk where she has moved it. She never looked at the label once, thank goodness. The image of the smiling baby on the label wearing the Ewok bib is facing him. The baby seems to be laughing at him.

Anakin looks up at Miss DiPesto and smiles briefly.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Well, I guess if there's nothing else, I'll be leaving…I'm leaving…"

She points nervously to the door as she backs her way out of his office. Anakin watches quietly. As soon as the door closes, Anakin devours his meal. He has company.

'_Whoa! Easy there, Ani. You'll get indigestion. Good, eh?'_

"What can I do for you?"

'_Just checking in on you. Seeing how you're holding up with Gladys gone.'_

"I'm fine…I have a 2 o'clock with Motti. Do you believe that?"

'_First appointment of the day.'_

"I swear, if he comes in here complaining about stuff, I'll strangle him for good."

'_How's the chow?'_

"Not bad."

'_Well, eat up. Your appointment with 'Monti' will start soon. Mind if I hang around?'_

"You just want to see me choke somebody."

'_Well, you never follow me. This is the only way I get to keep tabs on you.'_

"You're going somewhere I can't follow…not yet."

'_Then I guess I'll just tag along. You've always been a tough cookie.'_

"But just think of all the fun you have when you're around me."

Anakin finishes his meal then sets the tray on the end table near the door. He goes into his executive refresher and prepares himself for his 2 o'clock showdown.

Miss DiPesto pages him on the intercom.

"Mr. Skywalker, the Admiral is here."

There is no response. Anakin sits at his desk with his arms folded across his chest. A sly smile creeps across his face. Qui-Gon looks at him.

'_What are you doing?'_

"Just watch." He does not move. Qui-Gon is confused.

Miss DiPesto speaks into the intercom again. Her voice is more timid than before.

"Sir? Are you there? Hello? Hello?"

Anakin finally answers. His response is a terse. "I heard you the first time. Send him in already!"

The door slowly opens. Admiral Motti enters with Miss DiPesto directly behind him. She quickly scoops up the tray and leaves. The confused admiral turns to watch her as she quickly closes the door.

Anakin remains in his seat.

"What is it, Motti?"

"Thank you for seeing me, sir. I…I wanted to apologize for my outburst during our last meeting. I'm sure you had good reason for the recent changes you made. I am certain they were made for the better good."

"Well, this is very gracious of you, Admiral."

"Humbling actually, sir."

"Did General Solo put you up to this?"

"No…no….not at all. This is all me. I want to work with you, not against you." He takes a seat in one of the chairs facing Anakin's desk. He never sits without first getting permission from the Dark Lord.

"What do you want, Motti?"

"I need some time off. My wife wants us to see a marriage counselor. She thinks my career has been getting in the way of our relationship. This blasted space station. She feeling it's consuming me. You are right to demand that construction stop."

"Didn't we go through this before?"

"I need to take some time off."

"So now you're here in my office begging for time off? Is this a joke? Who else wants a vacation? Is there a line outside of people waiting to see me?"

"I don't believe so, sir. I noticed you have a new secretary. She seems nice."

"Gladys is on vacation. She'll be back…she had better be."

"Well…if this isn't a good time…"

"Stop groveling, Motti. Go, take your vacation."

"Oh…really? Thank you, sir. Thank you. I promise to put one of my top men in charge. You won't regret it."

"Don't disappoint me, Admiral."

"I won't, your Lordship…and …thank you."

Motti stands, salutes then turns to leave. Anakin rubs his forehead. He sees the intercom light flash again. He waves his hand to answer it.

"Yes, Agnes?"

"Lieutenant Venka is here to see you, sir."

"Venka? Who the hell is he?"

Anakin can hear her whisper to the officer.

"Excuse me, Lieutenant. Mr. Skywalker would like to know in what area you work….oh…okay…"

Qui-Gon, who has been quiet since Motti's visit starts laughing.

'_Ani, you don't remember this officer?'_

Anakin listens as he puts the speaker on 'mute'

"Shhh!"

'_No one can hear me.'_

"But I can. I'm trying to listen."

Agnes speaks again into the intercom.

"Mr. Skywalker, he's one of the officers in the crew pit."

"From what ship? What does he want?"

"He wants to know if …he can take a vacation. He says that the crew pit officers have been overworked and overlooked and he wishes permission to speak to you."

"No."

"But sir…"

"No. No more calls."

Anakin picks up the phone and makes a call. After he completes the call, Qui-Gon looks at him with one of his most disappointed looks ever. Anakin has never seen the Force ghost look so serious.

"What?"

'_That was the wrong thing to do, Anakin. But don't listen to me. I'm no longer part of the corporeal world. What I think doesn't matter.'_

"It's my choice."

'True. It's doesn't make it right. It's a boneheaded choice.'

"I'm not changing my mind."

'_You're going to regret it.'_

"Life is too short for regret."

'_And you're too stubborn to know the difference.'_

To be continued…._ 'Secretary of Defense' – PART 2_


	144. Chapter 144 Meetings & Closures PT 2

_Chapter 144_

'_Meetings & Closures Part 2'_

'_Secretary of Defense'_

'_Work-Related'_

**

* * *

**

The next morning Anakin shows up for work early. He did not contribute much to the dinner conversation the night before. Luke makes an appearance that night. Anakin has not seen much of his firstborn since returning home from Naboo. He is either busy at meetings on the Jedi Council or hanging out with Mara. His wife and children ask how his first day went without Gladys. When he says it was a 'fine', no one asks him to elaborate. Isabel knows he has done something incredibly stupid. She has a bed feeling she will hear all about it very soon.

Anakin sips his tea as he enters the office suite. He looks in the message bin. There are no messages. The desk is neatly arranged. A few folders with the Imperial seal lay in a tray. He continues on to his office. He checks his email and then makes a few calls and writes some notes. The phone rings. He ignores it.

"Gladys, will you please get the….humph!"

He stares at the phone as if it is a mass of molten lava. He walks over to the door and pokes his head out to get a view of the secretary's desk. There is no one at the desk and the telephone is lit up like a theatre marquee for one of Palpatine's horrible performances. The mail droid arrives with the days' mail.

"Good morning Your Lordship. It's your daily mail delivery. You have 3 Imperial Express packages, 10 interoffice envelopes, 3 supply catalogues, 6 trade magazines, a postcard, and 10 pieces of correspondence. Please sign the data pad for your express packages. The time is now 8:45 am."

Anakin reluctantly signs the data pad and accepts the mail.

"Thank you, Your Lordship. Have a pleasant day, Goodbye; farewell…may the Force be with you."

The mail droid leaves.

Anakin stares at the mound of mail on the desk. The message light flashes on the phone. The meter flashes _'Seven unanswered messages'_. He backs away, and then hurries back inside his office. He sits behind his desk.

Someone enters the office suite. Anakin quickly waves his hand to lock the door to his office as the unknown visitor walks around his secretary's work area. Whoever is there eventually leaves. He starts to panic. What will he do?...What about lunch? This is one of the most horrible days of his life. He picks up the phone and dials.

"Isabel."

"Hello?"

"It's me."

"Me who?"

"Anakin….your husband."

"Why are you whispering? You sound like a creepy obscene phone caller."

"Aren't they creepy as a rule?"

"Anakin, can we do this role-playing game when we get home? I'm in town and I can't talk."

"That's good…that's good….uhm…"

Isabel is losing patience with her husband and this phone conversation.

"Anakin, what is wrong with you?"

"Isabel, I need your help. It's a mess here and I don't know what to do. There's someone outside my door."

"What?"

"Please? Just come. This is an emergency."

"It's 'Mommy and Me' today. I've got the baby with me."

"Leave him with your mother."

"She's not at home. You know she plays bridge with the women from the Bimmisaari Tea Society today."

"It's kind of early for a bridge game, don't you think?"

"They have a meeting in the morning and then they do charity work. They're very active members of Coruscant society."

"Yeah, they're a wild bunch. Listen, I need you here now."

"Anakin, what's going on?"

"I'll explain when you get here."

Isabel looks at Kris.

"Daddy has screwed up. He never calls me from the office like this. Are you ready for an adventure?"

Isabel arrives at Imperial Headquarters in half an hour. She looks for a place to leave the baby before she makes her way up to the executive suite. As she exits the elevator, the Imperial Guards check her identification. Lieutenant Daine Jir appears and quickly dismisses them. He greets her and walks along side as she heads for her husband's office.

"Good morning, Mrs. Skywalker. I'm Lieutenant Jir. I'll be more than happy to escort you to his Lordship's office."

"Thank you, Lieutenant."

"Gosh, you're pretty. No one has heard from his Lordship all morning. He hasn't told us anything about what's going on but he'll sure tell you. I know I would. Any officer would give his life for you….Anyway, Grand Moff Tarkin has been trying to contact him but he doesn't pick up the phone and his door is locked." He sniffs her hair. "What lovely perfume you're wearing…"

They arrive at the outer door leading to Gladys' office. Isabel turns to the creepy officer.

"I can handle things from here, Lieutenant. You may go."

"Okay…see you soon. Here is my Imperial employee number should you require my services. See?" He points to his card. "This is a code 2 military hologram I.D. which means I'm a follower not a leader. I'm dependable and punctual."

The lieutenant offers her his card. Isabel takes it then turns to open the door.

Isabel enters the office and immediately sees the mound of mail on Gladys' desk. She sets her handbag on the chair then shakes her head.

"Anakin…what have you done?"

She hears a click. The door to his office opens. He pokes his head out.

"'Bel…pssst…."

She gathers some mail and walks into his office. He quickly pulls her inside.

"Hey! Watch the blouse. What are you up to? By the way, the door to my private study is stuck I can't get inside."

"Bel, I need your help, honey. Focus on me…okay? Your boudoir door….look at me, Isabel… is down here right now on the priority chart." He demonstrates with his hand at knee level. "The phone has been ringing and mail has been piling up… So it's high up on my _'give-a-sith'_ chart." He raises his hand above his head.

"But Gladys hired someone from the temp agency…" She dumps the mail on his desk in response to his condescending attitude.

"Well…there was a problem…"

She puts her right hand on her hip and the left hand on his desk.

"I only see one and I'm looking at him. What did you do?"

"I sent her back."

"You fired the temp?"

"Fired is such an ugly word. I just called the agency and told them I didn't need her…"

"Are you insane? What am I saying?…of course you are!"

"But I paid her for the three weeks she was due to work here. I have compassion, Isabel."

"So now you have no secretary. That agency is going to blacklist you." She wags her finger at him.

"Isabel, this is no time to start finger pointing. Please, help me out of this mess."

"You want me to answer your phones?"

"Yes…and type some letters…..and all the other office stuff that you chicks do…"

"Why can't you pick up the phone?"

"…Because Gladys screens all my calls. Isabel, I don't want to fight. Please get me out of this mess. I will be forever grateful."

"Fine. I'll help protect your employees from the insanity that is you."

"Thank you, Honey. You're the greatest. So, where's my little guy? You found a sitter?"

"Sort of…. He's with top people…"

"What people?"

"Top people. Don't worry about it. He's in good hands."

Downstairs in the Officer's Relations Office, Krizstan Skywalker is being thoroughly entertained. He is sitting on a desk watching a monitor. His babysitter sits in a chair at the desk.

"Hey, kid, want to watch something hilarious? Look at these guys. They're shooting at least a hundred rounds and miss every target. What a waste of good blaster power. Now, look at this video…here's something I found in the Imperial Archives. Who is that? That's your daddy choking Admiral Ozzel…Teehee! The Admiral went down fast. I wonder if your dad knows he was caught on tape."

Kris giggles as he watches the video. Han gets great joy from watching the tot's reaction. The baby is hysterical.

"Take it easy kid, we're only on the third clip. Funny stuff, eh?"

Jar-Jar walks in.

"Ooooh Theresabee little Jedi beebee! Awww…Little Ani Junior all plump and happy. Smart mouth Nonconformist son-in-law got yousa busy watchin' _Galaxy Most Funniest Videos_?"

Jar-Jar plays with the child, tossing him in the air.

Han watches.

"Uh…Jar-Jar, are you sure that's such a good idea? Kids his age are usually full of stuff that can pour out at any minute."

"Oh meesa not worried. Meesa used to projectile fluids coming from tiny Jedi's." As predicted, Kris spews a yellow and white pulp-like substance all over the Gungan's face. Jar-Jar thinks for a moment after slurping up the 'spill.' "Uhm…mango and oatmeal. Yousa had good nutritious breakfast!" Jar-Jar slurps up the remnants from the baby's face. Kris, stunned, stares at the Gungan for a moment and then smiles.

Han has been momentarily distracted as he looks out from his glass-enclosed office overlooking the docking hangar. He watches a star cruiser arrive from a month long mission over Ryloth. He turns in time to see the baby receive a tongue bathing from the playful Gungan.

"Lovely…seems the two of you were made for each other."

Han is settling in comfortably in his new job. Leia has been preparing his lunch each morning. She is living in 'newlywed bliss' and is so proud of her husband landing this prestigious job at Imperial Headquarters. She sees this job as a chance for Han to prove himself as a leader on a bigger scale and to bring new blood into the Imperial military. Han quips that the top brass is looking to spill his 'new blood' with all the changes he is proposing. He has started a collection of the brown bag lunches in the refrigerator of the officer's lounge. He was hoping someone would steal them but so far, there have been no takers. Not even Jar-Jar has taken the bait.

Back upstairs in the executive offices things are slowly getting back to normal. People are able to enter the office again. Isabel meanwhile is sitting at Gladys' desk extracting the phone messages and sorting mail. Anakin recovers from his panic attack now that the pressure has lifted. He finds time to step out of his office to check up on her. Isabel looks up from opening a piece of mail. She holds the letter opener as if it is a weapon. Anakin pretends to be looking in the message caddy for messages. The caddy is empty.

"Sooo…how's it going?"

"Fine. May I help you?"

"Just looking for messages…"

"I gave them to you already."

"Oh….okay…thanks…you look really nice. New blouse?"

"Not really."

"Was this a special dress-up day at 'Mommy & Me'?"

"No…why?"

"Just wondering…most of the mothers wear jeans or jogging outfits when they take their kids to these things…"

"I'm not _most_ women. Don't you have work to do?"

He glances at the letter opener as she points it in the direction of his office door.

"Sure…I'm a busy man. I'll see you later."

He returns to his office and closes the door but not completely. He keeps it ajar so when he walks towards the sofa, he can peek out to see what she is doing. In what sort of mommy and me class does one wear new designer pumps, a formfitting pencil skirt, and a printed silk chiffon blouse with ruffled cuffs?

Isabel finds some documents that require the Dark Lord's signature. She applies signature stickers to the appropriate pages. The intercom light flashes. Isabel sets the papers down and picks up the phone.

"Yes?"

"Mrs. Skywalker, would you step inside my office please? I need you to take letter."

"Where do you want me to take it?"

"What?"

She rolls her eyes.

"Nothing." She is amused that he does not get the joke. "Sure. I'm on my way in to take _your_ letter."

Isabel makes a face as she hangs up the phone and grabs a tablet with the documents. She enters his office.

"These are for you to sign." She places the stack of documents in front of him. He glances at the folders as he sits in his chair. He lasciviously gives her the once-over.

"Oh, okay…so…you like it here?"

"Yes, sir."

"Yes, Sir'?...oh…oh! I get it. This role-playing thing…cute." He smiles.

"You want me to take a letter?" She sits.

"Oh…oh….yeah… 'Dear Admiral Ozzel, I am in receipt of your disability paperwork….Be assured that the Imperial Military Officer's Compensation Board will reimburse you for all out-of-pocket expenses for your physical therapy. Your primary physician states that your recurring neck pain deems you unable to return to work at this time. Perhaps you should consider retirement as an option…" Anakin leans back in his chair and rolls away from his desk to sneak a look at his _'interim' _secretary's legs. "Are you comfortable in that chair?"

Isabel looks up from the tablet. Her legs are crossed at the ankles in lady-like fashion.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Why don't you come over here and sit on my lap." He pats his thigh and winks.

"Mr. Skywalker, are you flirting with me?"

"I am."

"You know, I could file sexual harassment charges against you."

"Well, file away. The paperwork comes to my office eventually. Come over here; let me see what you've written."

"I'll read it back to you from where I'm sitting."

"Never mind. You're no fun."

She read back to him what he has just dictated to her.

"As you were saying…_ 'consider retirement as an option...'_ That's where you stopped."

"Oh…yes…" He leaves his chair and slowly walks around his desk as he continues to dictate. "therefore…oh _'…Your benefits will not be affected as I believe your health is of the utmost importance to me. I have not forgotten your years of service to the Empire…and your dedication and faulty judgment…'_ scratch that …"

Isabel continues to write. She feels his hands on her shoulders. His fingers gently caress her as he stands behind her chair.

"I could write better when I don't have someone feeling me up."

"Come on, you know you like it."

"It's not appropriate in the workplace."

"You're not on my payroll."

"Anakin, why don't you look this over? Come to see me when you actually want to write a serious letter."

She leaves the tablet with the partially drafted letter on his desk and walks out of his office. She orders his lunch. She leaves him to dine alone once it is delivered.

"Hey, aren't you going to have lunch with me?"

"Of course not, I'm going to spend lunch with the secretaries across the hall. Bon Appétit, boss."

Isabel walks out of the office. She shows off Kris to the secretaries in the offices across the hall for an hour. She returns the baby to Han and Jar-Jar. By mid-afternoon, she returns to Han's office to retrieve the baby. She goes back up to Anakin's office. He takes Kris.

"Look who it is. I haven't seen you all day. Your mother didn't bring you up to see me."

"I wanted to keep you focused on your work…whatever it is that you do here."

"So, you're done? It's not quitting time yet."

"Yes. I'm going home. I've got children to feed."

"You're coming in tomorrow, aren't you?"

"You're impossible, Anakin."

"Please?"

"Fine."

"Be on time… Wear something nice."

The first week is not without bumps along the way. The following morning, General Veers stops by to meet with Anakin for a video conference call to Hoth. No one is at the desk but he does hear someone.

"Hello? Is anyone there?'

"One moment…Oh, dear…I knew that was going to happen."

The general sees someone in the copy room located through a passageway behind the area where Gladys works. General Veers steps over towards the copy room. He smiles as he checks out the woman kneeling on the floor. Veers walks up behind her. He is admiring the new employee from this vantage point. She is picking up beads.

"Oh, hello there. You must be new here…Looks as if you dropped something. Let me help you."

"Thank you. It's okay…I've got it."

"No, please…I insist. After all, what sort of gentleman would I be if I didn't come to the aid of one of our newest members of the secretarial pool…?"

The 'secretary 'looks up at Veers. He is face to face with the wife of the Imperial Commander-in-Chief.

"Oh! Hello, General."

The all color disappears from the General's face. He almost looks horrified.

"Oh, dear god! Mrs. Skywalker! Madame, I do apologize…I thought you were…"

Isabel is about to stand but drops a few beads from the broken Geonosian Amber necklace. A lock of hair falls in her face as she quickly gathers the stray beads. She disregards any misstep on his part.

"It's quite alright. I didn't want anyone to trip and fall. Are you alright? Can I get you a glass of water?"

"No…no…no…I just swallowed some air. Ahem…" He nervously tugs at his uniform collar.

Isabel has a friendly smile for the befuddled officer.

"What can I do for you?"

"Oh, I'm here for the video conference with His Lordship."

Someone is standing in the doorway of the copy room.

"Making sure you get here early, General? Enjoying the view?"

General Veers scrambles to stand at attention. The Dark Lord folds his arms across his chest.

"I was running a bit early from a breakfast meeting with Governor Tarkin. We were discussing the reconfiguration of the military base on Hoth…Your Lordship."

"Sounds riveting. I'd love to hear more about it in my office."

"Yes, of course, Your Lordship."

"I see you've met my wife."

General Veers turns to Isabel again.

"Yes…yes…Mrs. Skywalker…again, my most humble apologies."

"Isabel smiles and nods.

"It's quite alright."

He is so nervous he almost forgets he has something to give her.

"Oh! ...The beads to your necklace. They're very rare and beautiful. You mustn't lose them." He carefully pours the handful of semi-precious amber stones into her hand.

She sweeps the lock of hair off her face.

"Oh, this old thing…I'll just have it restrung."

The General does not see what Anakin is doing behind him but Isabel does. Anakin stands in the alcove mimicking her. She rolls her eyes. Her husband turns to Veers.

"General, our conference is about to start."

Veers takes a deep breath before he follows Anakin into his office.

After the video conference ends Veers leaves the office. Anakin follows shortly after. The outer office has several visitors.

Several officers, including Commander Praji, and a few crew pit officers stand around Isabel's desk. A few more sit in the waiting area on the sofas and read magazines while they wait their turn. The commander confides in Isabel.

"So, you really think I should apply for that permanent transfer, Mrs. Skywalker?"

"You'd be foolish not to, Commander. You've put in your years. Why stay stuck on board a Star Destroyer where your duties are pedantic at best. You need to get out and see the rest of the galaxy, enjoy culture…"

"Well, I do like it here. I haven't been away from the base much. I want to see more of the city…perhaps meet someone…go to a show…"

"I can get you tickets for the new show 'Coruscant Gardens.'"

"Really? That sounds great!"

"Just fill out this form and return it to me. I'll get the proper signatures to move your transfer along."

"Thank you, Mrs. Skywalker. Talking to you makes me realize that there is a bigger world out there."

"Don't hesitate to take a piece of it."

"I won't."

When Anakin sees this nightmare then gestures for Isabel to follow him into his office.

"May I see you for a minute please?"

"Yes. What is it?"

He closes the door.

"What in blazes are you doing out there? Why is my reception area so busy?"

"I was 'receiving' people…"

"For what?"

"They all want to work here…for you."

"They already work for me."

"But not close and up front."

"I don't want them close and up front."

"Fine, I'll send them away but it would boost morale if you would at least acknowledge the soldiers who do all the grunt work for you."

"I want that 'casting couch' empty."

"Fine…bonehead."

"And don't tell me how to run my business."

"Aye…aye, Your Lordship." She offers a flippant salute as she starts out of his office.

"You need a ride home?"

"No. I can take a taxi. "

That evening at home has some tense moments as well and downright uncomfortable moments as well…but not for the kids.

Luke finally makes an appearance. He has been getting the lowdown involving his parents and all the other dirt at headquarters. Han pops over too. Luke takes a sip from his milk tumbler. There is a sly grin on his face.

"So, Mom…how's work? Is 'the man' giving you a hard time?"

"Working for 'the man' is no picnic. It amazes me how Gladys puts up with his nonsense."

"Oh, there's a method to the madness. I heard he squashed your plans to make the Imperial Military Headquarters a warm and fuzzy place to work."

"Well, if I had the chance…You know what? I didn't see a lot of women working there either. The only ones I ever see are in the secretarial pool. Where are the female officers?"

Han quips.

"No sane woman would want to. Isabel, I've seen the female officers…trust me…they deserve to be hidden. Relax, Norma Rae. Let me handle to revolution."

Anakin arrives at the table. Isabel looks at him.

"Where have you been?"

"Upstairs." He notices the new and infrequent faces at the dinner table. "Well, well…we have dinner guests. Good of you to make an appearance, 'Master Luke.'"

"Hi, Dad. You can treat me as your son at the table. I haven't changed…just my rank in the Jedi Order."

"So I can still kick you butt then. So, 'Son', Where's Mara? Did she hear about a gourmet food show at the Mon Calamari Convention Centre? I hear they pass out a lot of freebies…"

"Very funny, Dad. No, she did not go to the food show….she couldn't get tickets. She went to a bridal expo on Corellia with her mom."

Anakin lathers a crusty slice of bread with sweet butter.

"Too much information. Oh, I see we have _'General Nuisance'_ here tonight. Han, don't you have food at that grand 'newlywed condo' of yours?"

"Sure…of course there's food." He mutters to himself as he scoops up a helping of sautéed spinach with garlic and lemon. "It's just not edible." He slurps up a forkful before it has time to settle on his plate. Anakin watches with disbelief.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Leia got plenty of cookbooks at her bridal shower."

"It's easier just to come over here."

"I bet."

The youngsters sit quietly and take in the mostly adult conversation going on. Threepio goes to the door. He seems surprised that he did not need to open the door.

"Oh, it is you! I thought someone was breaking into out home. I see you still have the house key. Well, good evening, Mistress Leia…or shall I address you as Madame Solo? You sure arrived here _'solo'_ as it were. Hah-hah! So, what brings you here this evening?"

"I just thought I'd stop by on my way home from work to see my family."

She sets her purse on the table in the hall before making her way to the family dining room. Han seems surprised to see her as he gulps down a mouthful of stuffed Endor Brook Trout.

"Hey, hun."

She gives him a dirty look.

"I was going to make dinner, Han."

"You had a long day, as have I. What sort of husband would I be to expect my wife to cook a sumptuous meal such as this, after you've been away at work? I was thinking of you, Your worship."

Luke tries not to laugh. He takes a sip from his glass and murmurs something.

"_He was thinking you can't cook."_

Li-An watches Luke's mouth and holds his napkin over his face and laughs. Han continues to explain his remarks.

"I was thinking of the meal we would have had. All of those recipes that you tried and burned…I mean cooked."

"It doesn't matter. Save your breath, Han. I was going to thaw some shaak steaks in the microwave …then I thought…why bother?"

"Really?"

Leia squints at Luke and Han as she serves herself. Anakin smiles at his eldest daughter.

"Well, I'm glad to see you, Sweet pea."

Ana-Lena looks over at her father.

"Daddy, how will I know when you're talking to me if you call us both _'Sweet pea_'?"

"Okay, from now on, you'll be _'Sweet pea Junior.'_"

"Oh! Okay."

She continues to eat, swinging her legs under the table. It always amazes Anakin how easy it is to please her. He looks around the dinner table. Alex is eating his baby carrots and spinach. Li-An is playing with the fish skeleton. Anakin looks at him.

"Are you going to eat that?"

"No, of course not. It's all bone."

"Then put it down."

Kris is enjoying the moment as he sits in his highchair. He uses his baby fork to feed his father.

Isabel looks around the table at her family. She does not believe she can remain angry with her husband for long. Anakin looks around the table too, but for a different reason.

"Are we missing someone? This table is way too peaceful."

Luke scans the table. He does not sense anything.

"I don't think so, Dad. Everyone's accounted for…including Han."

"Yeah…including Han."

Ana-Lena thinks for a moment as she twirls her fork. He voice is calm in a matter-of-fact way.

"Oh, I know…Gramp Palps isn't here."

Anakin drops his head in his hands. He has lost count of the number of times he has left the old man behind during the past three months. He is certain it is way past strike three. Kris has been enjoying feeding his father. When Anakin drops his head, the fork Kris is holding lands in Dad's hair. Anakin has no other words to say.

"Oh…No!"

Luke, Leia, and Anakin scramble for the front door. Han remains seated. He has not finished his dinner.

"Are they expecting me to go too?"

Li-An calls them back.

"Relax guys, Gramp Palps is working tonight."

Leia returns to her seat and quickly butters her bread.

"Oh, thank god! Could you imagine if we had to pick him up? We'd never hear the end of it."

Luke agrees. He helps himself to another serving of rice.

"And how! Pass the vegetables, please."

Isabel picks the fish out of her husband's hair.

"Oh, Anakin, some man called to say he fixed the lock on the door to my study upstairs. He says he left the key with you or someplace you would remember."

"Oh…oh…the key…yes…He did. I'll get it for you later."

"Anakin, I haven't been in my room in two days."

"It has not been two days, Isabel. Stop exaggerating."

"_To_-day and yes-terday. _Two_ days."

"Will you please be patient?"

"Well, give me the key. I'll go up there now."

"Wait until everyone has had dessert. What's the rush?"

Artoo chatters something to Threepio.

"Well, Artoo, we'll just have to steer clear of them when the fireworks happen. Are you truly surprised after all these years?"

Luke, Threepio, Han, and Isabel clear the table and fill the dishwasher. Leia checks out the recipe books on the kitchen shelf. Anakin plays video games with the Younglings in the family room. The newest game is _'Revenge of the Earthlings the Prequel: Volume 3'._ They bide the time until dessert is ready. As soon as it is ready, Leia sets the table.

The children smile when Leia and Han pass around the cut-glass antique dessert goblets. Each goblet is filled with a scoop of vanilla ice cream covered with warm poached pera and fresh raspberries. The ice cream rests on a cushion of delicate sponge cake. Anakin takes a silver decanter filled with Felucia raspberry cognac or Elixir de Framboise. He pours the liqueur over the ice cream until it reaches the sponge cake and soaks it. He immediately passes it around the table to the other adults. Alex and Li-An try to intercept the decanter without success.

"Hey! What about us?"

"It's adult juice."

"What's so adult about it?"

"It's in a fancy container."

Li-An nods knowingly.

"Ohh…I know why…It's like the stuff Obi-Wan sips before he speaks to all the Padawans and Apprentices during Jedi history class."

He imitates a guzzling Obi-Wan. Alex giggles. Anakin is not amused.

"Obi-Wan drinks during his seminars with you kids?"

"No, Dad…never. We just saw him behind the curtain before he walk to the podium. A few of us are on the stage crew for extra credit. It's okay, Dad. We're not going to drink."

"God know Obi-Wan must need a stiff drink before he talks to you kids. Right, 'Bel? Hey, where's your mother?"

"A scream can be heard from upstairs."

"What the hell happened to my room?"

The kids run upstairs. Anakin is the last to enter.

A mirror ball hangs from the ceiling of Isabel's once luxurious private boudoir. Her ornate antique desk has been unceremoniously shoved into a corner. Her beautiful ivory upholstered chaise has been moved from the middle of the room. It is covered with a scarlet velour throw. In place of the chaise is an Imperial-sized round, rotating bed and pole.

Anakin smiles nervously.

"Well, the gig is up. How do you like it, hon?"

Isabel is still speechless. Luke quips.

"Wow! Mom got her own jelly bed. Awesome."

Leia covers her mouth in shock.

"Oh…My…God."

Ana-Lena, Alex and Li-An hop onto the bed and begin jumping. Ana-Lena is ecstatic.

"Mommy! Daddy did this for you! It's a carousel jelly bed like the one the one Uncle Ben and Aunt Bunny have. Now we have one too! Yaaah!"

"Kris is in his mother's arms playing with the remote"

"_Bwite light_!"

Han stands in the doorway eating his dessert.

"Good move, Mr. 'S', It's just what every housewife craves…her very own stripper pole. I'm just saying…"

Anakin stares at Han who quickly changes the subject back to dessert.

"Mrs. 'S', you are an amazing cook. What a great aroma combination….the fresh poached pera, slightly grilled…framboise, and the almond sponge cake….uhm…Leia, if only you could cook…cook! This soon! It would be great….I'm just going to go downstairs."

He leaves the room.

Li-An leaps from the bed to the pole using his mother's exercise rope. He hums a strange new tune similar to one about a scruffy treasure-hunting archaeologist. Alex grabs Ana-Lena and swings from the pole. Anakin smiles sheepishly. He gently pats his wife on the back.

"Surprise."

That evening, Anakin goes to bed. His wife has stopped speaking to him. Kris sits on the bed with his father. Anakin lies on his stomach feeling low. Kris plays with the remote control, randomly pushing buttons. The bed starts and stops. The mirror ball lights flicker. Isabel tells him to enjoy his new bed.

Isabel is in the master bedroom talking to her mother on the phone.

"Ooh…right, Mom…you think everything he does is sweet…..he means well my eye! Right now, I am so mad at him. Oh, don't get me started with the office stuff. He's in for a rude awakening there. I've got to go. I need a good night's sleep to put up with him in the office tomorrow."

Anakin meanwhile ponders his fate in the darkness of the new 'disco stripper room. The baby has fallen asleep. Anakin takes the remote. His phone rings.

"Hello? Oh, crap! I knew we forgot something having to do with you….yes…yes, I know…hey! We're sorry…okay…I'm sorry….I forgot! I honestly forgot it was opening night…premiere night…private show…whatever….what? You did? Oh, I'm sorry. Aw, come on! Now you're pulling at straws! We did not conspire to ruin your night…listen, I've got a _'sithload'_ of stuff going on here at home…No. No…it's not an excuse…. Listen, old man…Oh, yeah, it's all about you….Oh, well…see? It wasn't a total loss. You got a 'standing 'O'…eh? Great, I wish I had been there to see it…okay…fine, I wasn't being sincere. Well, at least you got a limo ride home….When?" Anakin groans. "Fine…Fine…I'll ask her….But I suppose we could…What time? Two premiers? What's this? You get a do-over if your family doesn't show up? Now you're being obnoxious….What do you want now?...Alright! Fine, fine, fine! Yes…I feel guilty…and again, I'm sorry. Can we get past this now so we can all have closure? Sure…She's not too happy with me right now, so I'm not going to press it. Listen, nag me one more time about that and we're not coming. I've got to go…The baby is sleeping….no, I'm not in the nursery…I'm in a bed….a new bed…let's leave it at that. No, I'm not going to wake him…listen …" He holds the phone to the baby's nose. "See? Can you hear that? He's asleep. I've got to go…Yes, yes…I promise. Good night. Break a hip….whatever."

The next morning, Anakin's day starts off with a bang. He forgets that he is not in his own bed and lands on the floor. He remains there for another half hour. Someone stands near his head. Kris points to the floor.

"Da-da faw."

"Yes, 'Da-da has fallen and he can't get up. But that's not our problem is it?" He taps her fallen husband with the toe of her slipper. "He's not dead…not yet."

Isabel leaves the room with the baby in her arms.

Anakin manages to get his wife's undivided attention that morning to explain the need to change plans for the evening. Her mother agrees to baby-sit. The Dark Lord and his interim secretary are not on speaking terms today. This does not mean that the fireworks have ended at the office.

It is a new day at the office. Things have not improved. He summons her into his office.

"Isabel, I mean, Mrs. Skywalker, why did you schedule Admiral Adar Tallon, Daala and Harry as back to back appointments this afternoon? And who is 'Harry?"

She points to his data pad.

"It's 'Harkas'."

"I can't read your handwriting."

"It's typed."

"So, why did you schedule them like this?"

"Because, '_Sire_,' you had an opening."

"How am I supposed to get any work done?"

"That is your 'work'."

"Gladys doesn't do it this way."

"Well, I guess you'll have to wait until Gladys comes back, don't you? But…for now, you have me. You should have said something this morning if you had a problem with your _'busy'_ schedule."

"Don't make me fire you!"

"Listen you ingrate, I'm doing you a favor. Did I ask for this? Did I ask to be paid? No. I did it to get you out of a bind. I did it for my husband because that's what married couples do; they support one another. Have you said as much as a _'thank-you, Isabel'_, or _'The letter you typed was perfect, Isabel,'_ _'Oh, and you made copies of that report for my meeting. Isabel, thank-you.' _No, you did not _thank me_!"

"Are you through? I can't go around 'thanking' people every five minutes. I'll lose my effectiveness. I'll look like a raving lunatic. My officers don't expect me to thank them every time they arrest and shoot government traitors. Why should you?"

Isabel slams his papers on his desk and storms out, slamming the door behind her. Someone is waiting to see him. Isabel quickly composes herself, breaks into a cheerful smile, and sits at her desk.

"Good afternoon. Welcome to His Majesty's Tower"

"Oh…Hello, I am Admiral Adar Tallon, I believe I am scheduled to see His Lordship for a meeting."

"His worship is in there. Go right on in, Admiral. It's okay…He's not doing anything."

Isabel is making some notes writing fast and hard on the tablet. She points behind her with the stylus she is holding. The officer is perplexed and hesitant as he walks towards the door. She urges him to go inside.

"Go on…He's not going to do anything to you."

The officer crosses the threshold into the Dark Lord's inner sanctum. Isabel casually turns the page of one of the binders she finds on the credenza behind the desk. She braces herself for any repercussions.

Anakin is entering something on his data pad. The latest Mos Espa Pod Racing results are on his computer screen. He transfers his winnings into his account. He looks up from the data pad. The Dark Lord and officer both stop in their tracks. Anakin switches off his computer then leaves his desk.

"Hi…would you excuse me for one moment please?"

He leaves his office, closing the door behind him. He walks over to the desk and places his hand on the open binder to prevent Isabel from turning the page.

"In the future, please announce my appointments before you send them on a walking tour of my office. Can you manage that, Mrs. Skywalker?"

"It must have slipped my mind. I'll remember for the next time."

"Please do." He is about to return to his office until he remembers to do something. He leans over her shoulder and whispers.

"Thank-you." He storms back into his office. He forces a smile as he starts his meeting with the Admiral. "So, Admiral, where were we? Oh, yes. Thank you for coming. It seems that we have a position that…"

He seems to be distracted by something. The telephone lights are flashing. Two lines flicker and then a third. He finds it difficult to hold a conversation when the lights are flashing wildly. He bites his bottom lip as he squirms in his chair. He presses the intercom and speaks in a soft but terse tone.

"Mrs. Skywalker, would you please take my calls?...Please?"

"Answer your own damned phone."

Anakin produces another forced smile then leaves his desk again.

"Would you please excuse me again for a moment, please?"

He storms outside Force-slamming the door shut. He is livid as he points his finger at her.

"I'm going to ask you once more; please answer my phone. Please! Thank-you very much."

"That's all you had to say."

Anakin returns to his office and sits back in his chair. He is ready to resume his meeting with the admiral. Near the end of the meeting, the Admiral smiles at a sudden revelation.

"Excuse me Your Lordship; is that your wife outside?"

"Are you reconsidering accepting the position, Admiral?"

"No…sir." The officer turns towards the closed door. "Why, she's absolutely charming. Just charming."

"Yeah, she's got a lot of spirit. Let me walk you out to the elevator."

After Anakin's meeting marathon, he pages his 'spitfire' secretary.

"Mrs. Skywalker, would you please step into my office?"

A few moments later, Isabel walks into his office.

"You want to see me, 'Boss'?"

"What's the idea embarrassing me in front of my officers?"

"Oh, did I do that?" She dumps the afternoon mail on his desk

"Don't play innocent with me. What's with the attitude?"

"What attitude?"

"You were rude and insubordinate."

"Well, you're too demanding….and it's not just me. You need to cut your men some slack. And, for the record, I don't like '_your'_ attitude."

"What are you going to do about it?"

"What are you going to do? Tyrant."

"You've talked back to me for the last time."

"Well somebody has to."

"What did you say?"

"You heard me."

They are in each other's face. Immediately his hands are all over her. Anakin pushes her against the desk. They are making out like a pair of teenagers. All of the mail falls onto the floor. Someone is in the waiting area. Isabel fixes her hair and picks up the mail. Anakin helps her.

"Go see who it is. I got this."

"You've got a bit of lipstick on your chin." She points to a smudge on his face.

Isabel leaves the office. She straightens her dress from picking the mail off the floor. The visitor is Lando Calrissian. He smiles knowingly.

"My, my…Han said you were up here. I had to witness this form myself. Madame, it, is a pleasure to see you. You're looking beautiful as always."

"Thank you, General. You're just as charming as always."

"Where's that crazy tyrant? Has he been giving you a hard time?"

"As always."

"Let me go in there and talk to that foolish man."

Lando walks into Anakin's office.

"Hey, you old madman. Gladys left you to fend for yourself?"

"Well, you know how it is. Have a seat."

"I see you decided to get help from home. Not a bad choice. Easy on the eyes."

"We're about to kill each other."

"Oh, right, and you're so easy to work for."

"I'm a saint. What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to see that show your father is in. I did business with the producer. I sure regret that arrangement."

"Funny you should mention it. Isabel and I have to go tonight. We missed the gala last night so the public premiere is this evening, as you obviously know."

"You can't get out of it?"

"No, not after he laid a guilt trip on me. So…my tux is in the closet. The wife and I are leaving from here. Well, I guess we'll see you and the wife tonight."

"Yeah, they can compare notes and complain about us. Did you receive your compensation?"

"Shhh…yeah. Don't mention it to my wife; I'm in enough trouble as it is."

"I hear that. Well, old buddy, I'll see you at the theatre tonight. I need to skedaddle."

"Okay. Thanks for stopping by."

They walk to the elevator. Anakin returns and winks at his wife as he passes her desk.

"Mrs. Skywalker, may I see you in my office please?"

"Certainly, Mr. Skywalker."

She trails behind him. He sits at his desk. She sits in one of the big Gundarkian leather chairs.

"Mrs. Skywalker, I can't tell you what a pain in the ass it has been having you work for me. So, officially today, you're fired."

"That's fine with me. I couldn't wait to leave; so there!"

"I'm glad you're taking this so well. You're a good sport. Thank you. "

"Just for that, I'm going to do something for you that you truly don't deserve but I'll do so with the goodness of my heart."

"Well, I guess there's nothing more to say."

"Not a thing. I'll be back in a bit to change into my cocktail dress."

Isabel returns to her desk. She picks up the phone and starts dialing.

"Good afternoon, this is the office of Anakin Skywalker calling…yes…oh, really? Of course, I'll be more than happy to answer the evaluation form you sent to him three times. Yes. Of course, I can answer the questions right now. How well do I know him? Intimately….trust me. There was absolutely nothing wrong with your services or your staff….The reason? Oh, that's easy…He's an idiot….yes…you may quote me. What's that? Oh, please, that would be wonderful. I wish to extend my sincere apologies to everyone at your agency and I would be ever so grateful if you gave us another chance…Please don't blacklist us for this incident. I have a feeling we will need your services again. Yes, I promise he will behave. You have my word. You're welcome. Thank you. Good day."

That evening, Isabel and Anakin arrive for the public premiere of Palpatine's new play. Anakin looks dapper in his tuxedo. Isabel is stunningly beautiful in her black silk cocktail dress. Anakin dozes off during the second act. Isabel nudges him. He takes her hand and holds it through the end of the performance. They meet up with Lando, his wife, Han, Leia, Luke, Mara, and Nakai during a cocktail party hosted by producer Stan Motss. Palpatine basks in the glow of his celebrity in the luxurious penthouse owned by the unscrupulous producer. He makes his way through the crowd, knocking over people, to see Anakin and the rest of the family.

"Out of my way peons! The star of the show is coming through!" He reaches Anakin. "Anakin, my son! It's so good to see you. Isabel, Let me get a kiss from my favorite daughter-in-law. I'm so happy you finally made it to my show."

Anakin playfully shoves his wife close to the old ham actor. Palpatine gives her a warm hug. She wrinkles her nose as the old man continues to hold onto her.

"We're just happy to take it off our _'to-do'_ list."

"So, what did you think of my latest _'tour de force'_ performance? Please…tell me."

"You're constantly reinventing yourself."

Luke thinks of something to say.

"Palps, in all my life, I can honestly say, I never knew acting like that was possible."

"Oh, dear, Luke, my boy, you flatter me."

"What can I say…Sitting through this performance…and what can one say but, Palpatine."

"Yes! Yes! It was good wasn't it? Anakin, tell me what you thought. Did I get my message across or was I too understated?"

Anakin finally gives his opinion.

"No, no…not at all. Dad, you've done it again. You've brought the audience to their feet and sent them running out of the theatre to warn everyone that a new performance is in town. I heard some of the critics in the lobby, during intermission. They were saying they can't wait to write their reviews for the morning paper. They said it was their duty to the galaxy."

"Really?"

"Really. Don't be surprised if you're mobbed by throngs of theatergoers who can tell the difference between a travesty and pathos."

Palpatine sees Nakai milling about behind the group. Isabel's father is nursing a drink when the old thespian solicits his opinion.

"Nakai, old friend! I didn't see you there. Where is that elegant wife of yours?"

"Oh, she's with the kids. She thought I needed to get out of the house. This is the last place I thought I would wind up."

"So…tell me. What are your thoughts?"

"About what?"

"The show…my show. Wasn't it amazing?"

"It was. Your son convinced me to come. How could I refuse this guy?"

He lets out a long drawn out sigh as he pats Anakin on the back. Anakin urged his father-in-law to join the rest of the family. Ouisanne discovered that her husband has been betting on the pod races again after promising to stop. She suggested he leave the house for a few hours to think about what he had done. Anakin encouraged him to attend the show. He shouldn't be allowed to suffer alone.

Mara is munching on a shrimp puff when Palpatine asks for her feedback. She has a napkin full of puffs crammed into her evening clutch purse.

"Little Mara Jade…my former intern. Did you enjoy the show?"

"Sure. It's the best one yet."

"See? Even the youngsters liked it. My publicist said my play would only skew to an older demographic. He was wrong."

Han whispers to Lando. "I don't think he realizes that she was referring to the hors d'oeuvres."

"It's the only reason to show up to these things, Han ol' buddy…eating great food while mingling with despicable people."

By the end of the evening, everyone realizes that this was an enjoyable time. Anakin has one more day at the office before a much-needed weekend.

He walks through the doors of his office suite. He carries his leather satchel under his left arm and holds a large Bimmisaari Tea in his right hand. He is greeted with a pleasant "Good morning, Mr. Skywalker."

Anakin checks the caddy for messages but the caddy is empty. The messages are handed to him instead. He glances at them for a second and looks at the desk.

"Good morning, Miss DiPesto. How are you this morning?"

"Fine, thanks, Mr. Skywalker. Oh, I scheduled you for a conference call at eleven and you have a lunch meeting with Admiral Tallon and The Executive Committee in the Imperial private dining room. General Solo would like to see you at 2 o'clock and Chancellor Valorum would like you to participate in a videoconference in his office."

"Anything else?"

"Oh, and your wife called."

"What did she want?"

"She said for me not to take any crap from you and she loves you very much."

Anakin nods as he raises his eyebrows. He takes another sip from his large paper cup then smiles.

"Thank-you, Agnes."

"You're quite welcome, Sir."

Anakin continues on to his office. Anakin speaks to his _'conscience.'_

"Happy?"

Qui-Gon appears after his three day boycott of the Dark Lord's company.

'_That'll do, Ani. That'll do.'_

Just outside his door, Miss DiPesto smiles as if she has conquered a fortress. She looks at the floral printed note in her 'Welcome' folder. She reads Isabel's message then begins typing some letters.

Back at 620 Faleen HyperDrive, Isabel stands in the doorway of her boudoir as workers remodel the room. The big, gaudy carousel bed is wheels out of the house onto a truck. The driver reads the manifest.

Master Luke Skywalker

Twin Suns Condominiums

410 New Hopewell Court Unit 4A

Coruscant City, East

Isabel holds a flat blue velvet box with gold metal trim. She discovers the box, about the size of a book. Earlier that morning on the revolving bed. She reads the note that was inside.

'_To the worst Imperial Executive Secretary in the Galaxy'_

_With love from the worst boss. _

_We were never meant to work together. _

_Wear this tonight. Will meet you at 22, 00 hours in the Master Bedroom_

_Dare I say it?...Thank you'_

Isabel peeks inside the box once more. It is a new necklace made of Geonosian diamonds with teardrop pearls from Kashyyyk.

On a star system far, far away, along the Outer Rim, Gladys and Uli Jensen spend a vacation in the tropical paradise of Massassi Beach Resort and Casino. Gladys relaxes in a beach chair sipping a sweet drink with a fancy paper umbrella sticking out of the top. They look at one another then watch as a breeze stirs the tides of crystal clear water. She writes a postcard to '_The Most Difficult Boss in the Galaxy. I would never trade you in for a Kinder, Gentler Model.'_

Newlywed Leia Skywalker Solo spends her lunch hour at her office in the Galactic Senate Building. She takes a break from reviewing legislation to increase aid to refugees across the galaxy. She is searching online for Corellian recipes. She wants to make a good first impression as a homemaker. The coming weeks will determine if all goes well. Han hopes extra staff will be on duty at the Coruscant Hospital Poison Control Centre.


	145. Chapter 145 Cooking Disorder

_Chapter 145_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Cooking Disorder'_

'_Stuck In the Middle'_

'_Spilling Out from Both Ends'_

'_It's Alive!!!'_

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Leia has been trying to juggle being a professional and a wife since she and Han returned to Coruscant. She wants to establish herself a good homemaker but with their busy schedules; there is little time to entertain family and friends.

The process of getting people together in one place is an arduous task, especially if one's lack of culinary skills precedes them. While Han's parents have never sampled her cooking, her parents, and siblings have. Isabel offers to help but Leia is excited her first homemade dinner with her parents and in-laws.

"I just need a couple of practice sessions…a dry run if you will."

One afternoon, Luke is gathering some of his belongings to take to his new apartment. He overhears his sister discuss her plans. He jokes, "Dry run," now those two words definitely describe Leia's cooking. _"It's sure to be dry, and you'll certainly get the runs."_

Anakin suggests postponing her event until after he is dead. Isabel scolds him.

"Anakin, she just wants to make a good impression."

"Then why ruin everything by cooking?"

"Be supportive."

"I am. I'm supporting her from being sued."

"That's why she's practicing."

'_**Youngling Lab Rats'**_

On Saturday, Leia stops by the house. She walks through the door carrying a bag of groceries. She looks out in the garden and sees the younger Skywalker siblings playing on the swing set. Anakin saw the one in Beru and Owen's courtyard on Tatooine. He purchases a bigger one with a seesaw. The children spend hours of their free time playing in the garden.

Threepio follows her into the kitchen after he answers the door for her.

"Well, this is a pleasant surprise; did your father finally take your key?"

"No, I just didn't have a free hand to unlock the door."

"I see. Sooo…what do we owe this honor?"

"I want to try out something on the little ones."

"Oh?"

Threepio watches as Leia empties the groceries.

"And what's all this, Princess Leia?"

"Food."

"And you're going to prepare it, I fear…_ahem_…I suppose…"

"Aren't you '_supposed'_ to be watching the tots?"

"Oh…yes…well…I'll leave you to your concoctions and brews."

The droid heads back outside. Artoo meanwhile is in the sand box playing with the baby. Kris builds a replica of the droid out of the molded sand. Skippy plays on the seesaw with Li-An. Li-An stops and sniffs the air. Skippy does the same. Li-An speaks to no one in particular.

"I sense something…something I haven't felt or smelled in a long time…"

Skippy barks as if to agree. They hop off the seesaw and go inside the house to investigate. Ana-Lena and Alex hop off their swings and follow.

"Where are you going?"

Li-An continues on through the patio door towards the kitchen for a closer look.

"I smell something."

His brother and sister lift their noses to the air.

"We smell something too."

They race into the kitchen, gather at the lower counter on the island, and sit in the small chairs. Leia is busy mixing, pouring, measuring, and heating all sorts of things. The children sit quietly. They are fascinated. Alex leans over and whispers to his brother.

"What's she doing?"

"I think she's trying to cook something."

"Does she know what she's doing?"

Ana-Lena joins the discussion.

"She looks like she knows what she's doing. Mommy uses mixing bowls too."

Li-An laughs.

"_Looks_ like and '_knows_' are two different things…and Mom's food always comes out right…except for broccoli and squash. You can't do much with something that tastes yucky to begin with."

"Yeah. But we eat it anyway."

"That's 'cause it's good for us and Mom watches us like a varactyl. At least it's not burnt. So…ask Leia's what she's doing."

"You ask her."

"I'm not going to ask her."

"She might yell at me. Let Ana-Le do it. She'll ask anything."

"Yeah, hey Ana-Le…Ask Leia what she's making."

"Uhm…why me? Because I'm little?"

"Yeah! She won't go ape crazy if you ask."

"No, I feel used. You ask her."

They decide to ask together.

"Hey, Leia, whatcha doin'?"

Leia stoops stirring whatever is in the pot. She turns and smiles at the three young inquiring minds.

"Oh, great, you're all here. I want you to try something and I want your honest opinion."

Li-An laughs and then thinks for a second.

"Oh…you're serious."

Alex realizes he is in a dilemma as he looks at Li-An. He folds his arms on the counter then rests his chin there. He lets out a heavy sigh.

"Our honest opinion? Yoda told us never to lie…even if it may hurt the one we love."

The children watch as Leia lifts something with a spatula. She responds to Alex's comment.

"When did that ever stop you? Okay, fair enough…"

Leia still has not yelled at them…not yet. They are feeling more relaxed. Instead, she smiles and walks over to the counter. She sets three small plates in front of the children.

"Okay, tell me what you think. What are you waiting for? Eat up!"

Li-An wrinkles his nose as he lifts the hockey puck-size object with his fingers then gingerly pokes it with his fork.

"What is it?"

"Jundland cheese puffs…gougère."

Li-An taps it again. The puffed pastry makes a dull sound.

"What else have you got?"

Alex examines his 'puff'

"It looks like a Mustafar lava rock…that smells like roasted cheese. Is it supposed to be this brown and tough?" He picks it up and licks it. "It's almost cheese flavored but burnt…Is this the whole meal?"

"No silly. It's the hors d'oeuvre."

"It sure is big. I believe they're supposed to be smaller. A person won't have room for dinner."

Li-An whispers to his brother.

"I think this is supposed to fill them up so they won't have to try the main course."

Leia returns with more plates.

"I heard that!"

"You said to be honest."

"Whatever. Okay, this may me too sophisticated for your young palates, but tell me what you think."

Ana-Lena looks at the soft mound of yellow mush.

"Is it baby food?"

"No!"

Alex leans over his plate. There is a sprig of parsley for garnish lying sadly on the side. The runny potato concoction is slowly running into the hapless parsley like a lava flow. The pairing of the two does not make the dish any more inviting. Li-An compares it to an Acklay wearing a floral bonnet. It's still an ugly Acklay any way you look at it.

"It looks like a pulverized potato."

Leia ignores him. She is trying not to lose her patience but her answer is terse as she corrects him.

"Tatooine _truffle_ garlic potato puree. It's a gourmet dish."

"Sounds like a lot of '_trouble'_."

Li-An giggles. Leia becomes more relaxed as the children willingly sample her 'creations.'

"You mean _'truffle.'_ So…you like it?"

Ana-Lena is still picking through her potato puree.

"What are these black specks?"

Alex looks across the counter at his big sister.

"Give us a moment to let the flavors sink in."

"Okay. I'll be right over here at the stove."

As soon as Leia turns to continue cooking, Li-An whispers to Ana-Lena and Alex.

"Psst…hey, guys, look….blaagggh…" Li-An lays his head close to the plate. It looks as if he has vomited the thick creamy goop onto the plate. Alex giggles. Ana-Lena smiles then continues to play with the potato mush. She lets it drip from her fork. Leia turns around.

"So, what do you think, guys?"

Li-An lifts his head off the counter just in time but there is some puree on the side of his face and a bit in his hair. Leia smiles.

"Wow! You really liked it. You've made a mess…more?" She is about to ladle more for him from the saucepan.

"No! I mean no, Leia…remember, a professional food critic has to maintain a clean palate for the next curse…I mean course. You should always give us something like water or sorbet…you know…like Mom does when she has those fancy dinner parties."

"What? Oh…right…right…I knew that. Okay…enjoy the foods and then I'll present my dessert…Hey, Alex, you haven't tried my potatoes."

"Uhm….oh! I was so excited about what was coming up next." He quickly forces a couple of forkfuls into his mouth so as not to hurt her feelings. "Yum….this is out of this world, Leia."

"Thank you, Alex. I'll give you time to finish before I bring the other stuff out and then the dessert surprise."

"Why are you doing all of this?"

"I'm preparing my first dinner."

"Are we invited?"

"No. This is a dinner for grownups."

"Then why are you feeding us?"

"I need unadulterated palates."

"I heard Dad saying that Admiral Motti was an _'unadulterer'_ with some lady named Sly More."

Li-An corrects his brother.

"No! She means we're an experiment."

"We are? Leia, are you conducting experiments on us?"

"No…not exactly…you're my taste testers."

Li-An becomes indignant.

"We're _Not _your lab rats."

Ana-Lena pouts and whines.

"But I don't want to turn into a lab rat."

Leia ignores Ana-Lena's complaints.

"So, any opinions?"

Ana-Lena stops playing with her food.

"I'd rather have dessert, please."

"What about you, Li?"

"Why don't you just take everyone out to dinner?"

"It's not the same. I've got a very prestigious job at the Galactic Senate and Han has an equally important job at Imperial Headquarters. We will be called on, from time to time, to entertain. I want everything to be perfect."

"Well…then you'd better try catering your parties instead…before you and Han get fired from your cushy status jobs."

Ana-Lena pushes her plate away.

"Can I try the dessert now?"

"It'll be ready in a minute."

Artoo meanwhile is still outside with the baby. Skippy is under the counter in the kitchen. He is growling at one of the _'Mustafar cheese lava rocks'_ that falls on the floor. Leia collects the next round of plates from the children. She puts the finishing touches on her dessert surprise. The children sit patiently as she presents her dessert creation. The children dig in as she watches them.

"Well? How is it?"

Li-An looks up from his dessert plate.

"It's as good as the rest of your stuff."

"Why, thank you, Li. That's the nicest compliment so far from you. Alex, what do you think?"

Alex hesitates. He is reluctant to give her a bad review for fear she may lose confidence in her cooking abilities.

"Uhm…it's sweet…I can taste the lemons. The whipped cream rosettes are almost like the ones Mom puts on her desserts… it looks pretty."

"So…Good, bad? Medium?"

"It's...it's...good."

"How about you Ana-Le?"

"It looks like lemon jelly." She pokes it with her fork. The yellow custard is like dried rubber cement."

"Thanks…not the comment I was looking for but…okay…I can live with it." She hesitates before turning to Li-An. "Okay, Li-An, what's your opinion?"

"Put some more whipped cream on it…cover it up…I mean…it needs more decoration for presentation."

She gives him a dirty look then uses the whipped cream dispenser to add more rosettes to the pastries.

"Better, Your Lordship?"

"Sure." He flashes a smile at her. "So, is this your final sample?"

"Yes…for now. Why?"

"Just asking."

Anakin shuffles into the kitchen. He is wearing light blue drawstring lounge pants and a long-sleeve tee with contrast piping on the shoulders. His hair is still damp from taking a shower. He is spots Leia like an Eopie in headlights. Anakin quickly grabs a single serving bottle of energy juice from the refrigerator. His eyes dart around the room. He sees the three 'taste testers.' Just as he is about to make a clean getaway, Leia calls him.

"Hey, Dad! Holed up in your room all morning?"

"Uh…yeah…just getting some last minute sleep. I was up late last night."

"How are you feeling?"

"Great. I'll be fine once I have my fruit and veggie energy drink."

"Hungry? Want to join us?"

"Why?" It is as if she is asking him for Imperial secrets. The way he stares at her is telling. Anakin snaps the cap off of the beverage bottle and drinks. He tries to avoid eye contact at all cost. Leia smiles proudly as she holds a spinach casserole in front of him.

"I'm cooking up some samples in preparation for my first dinner. It's fresh from the oven."

Anakin looks in horror before uttering a nervous chuckle.

"Oh, God!...Uhm…that's nice…well…have fun."

"No, Dad, come back here. I want you to try it."

"Me? Oh, I'm still full from breakfast."

Li-An listens to this boldface lie from his father. He calls him on it.

"Dad, since you just got out of bed, why don't you think of this as breakfast? Besides, we haven't seen you all morning."

"Gee…thanks, Li…always looking out for me."

"I'm like your conscience."

"You sure are." He mutters to himself. _'Riding my ass the whole way.'_

Leia caresses her father's back as she leads him to the counter.

"Come on, Daddy, try it, and tell me what you think."

Alex looks up at his father.

"Dad, it's not so bad after you drink some water with it."

Ana-Lena concurs.

"Yeah, Daddy. We ate it."

"Well, you kids have lead stomachs. I've seen the stuff you eat when your mother's not watching."

"Oh, that's Han. He lets us eat all sorts of stuff when we're with him."

"Figures."

Leia sets a plate in front of him.

"Daddy, try some of my truffle potato puree." She takes a spoon and holds it to his lips. Anakin is determined to clamp his mouth shut when he sees the yellow glop.

"Hmmm…call me when you finish it."

"It _is_ finished."

"Oh….oh…okay…let's see now…" He studies the runny substance on the big spoon with caution. He is deciding how best to approach it.

"Will you please stop dancing around and taste it already?"

"Don't rush me. I was just testing it to make sure it wasn't too hot."

"It's fine."

He opens his mouth like a child being force-fed medicine. He sees Leia looking at him waiting for him to swallow the food.

"Uhmmm… this will stick to your ribs…uhm…chunky."

"You found lumps in it?" She quickly samples it to make sure. Anakin take a swig from his bottle.

"It's fine, Sweet pea."

Isabel appears in the doorway. She is wearing a lavender silk tunic with trumpet sleeves and matching yoga pants. Her raven hair is also wet and ties back into a loops ponytail. She smiles unsuspectingly.

"What's all this?"

The children yell out in unison.

"Taste testing!"

Anakin lures her over to the saucepan on the stove.

"Honey, have some!" He forces a spoonful in her mouth before she has a chance to refuse. Anakin has a big smirk on his face as he holds the spoon. "Yummy, huh?" He nods cheerfully.

Isabel takes a moment to study the flavors and textures in the food.

"You made this yourself, Leia?"

"Yes. Tell me what you think. Be honest."

"It's not bad…Try adding a bit more potato and a touch of nutmeg." She opens a drawer and removes a whole nutmeg from a small jar. She grates a bit into the potato mixture before sampling it. Leia tries it. She smiles and nods.

"Wow! This is great. What a difference. Thanks."

"What else have you tried to make?"

"Just side dishes."

"What about a meat or fish dish?"

"I'm going to try that later."

Li-An smiles.

"She's going to have a dinner party with all side dishes. I think it's a theme."

Isabel gives him a scolding glance.

The children decide to pass on lunch and go back outside to play. Isabel joins the droids on the patio after helping Leia. She feeds the baby.

The doorbell rings. Anakin answers the door. It is Palpatine.

"Anakin! I thought I would join you for lunch this afternoon before I go on stage tonight."

"Oh…well, we've got a special chef today."

"Really?"

"Yes! Come on in!"

"So, what's going on this Saturday?"

"Not much. It's just a lazy Saturday for the family." He leads Palpatine to the kitchen where Leia continues to toil over her test recipes. "Have a seat. Leia will fix you up with a helping of her special recipe."

Leia sees the old man take a seat at the island counter. Anakin pours him a glass of wine. Palpatine feels like an Emperor again with all of the royal treatment he is getting.

"Leia, I must tell you how exciting this is to receive a home cooked meal from you. Where is that charming young fellow you married this past summer?"

"Oh, he's spending the day with friends at the Coruscant Billiards Hall. He said he was going to grab a pizza and ale while he's there so I didn't have to spend all day in the kitchen to prepare supper for him. He wants me to devote my day to all of this. He's so thoughtful."

Anakin overhears this and chuckles to himself.

"What a guy. The big coward. He just didn't want to die."

"What was that, Daddy?"

"Oh, nothing, Sweet pea."

Palpatine looks at the tray full of test foods.

"What have we here?"

"Gougère with Jundland cheese. Help yourself. Here, I made you a salad. I don't have a meat course prepared yet. I'm still practicing but I did make potatoes, a spinach casserole and lemon tarts."

"It sounds delightful. It's been awhile since I have enjoyed a home cooked meal. Being that I'm such a big star of the theatre, my meals are brought in or I wind up dining at fancy restaurants with big producers and the like. Famous people surround me daily."

Someone is standing at the leg of his chair. He looks down and is almost terrified. "Oh, heavens! Where is your mother? Go away!"

Kris looks up at the old Sith and smiles.

"Hi."

"Hi. Be a good child and go away." He looks around for Anakin. "Anakin!"

Anakin walks into the kitchen.

"What's the problem?"

"Come get him."

"Why? He's just a baby. He's starting to like you. Why, I have no idea…"

"You remember what he's done to me?"

"You frightened him…what did you expect? He was just defending himself. Kris, say 'Hello' to the old man."

"Hi."

Palpatine looks down at the toddler.

"Hi. Now what?"

"Just be nice. Children can sense things."

"He gave me second degree burns on my hands the last time."

"You were going to hurt him."

"I was trying to save him from getting hurt. Your children get into everything. I know firsthand."

"Well, they never get into trouble under my watch. You must have done something. Come on, Kris, he's a mean old man. He has no patience for a baby."

He takes Kris by the hand and leads him away. Kris smiles and points to the old Sith. He tries to touch him with his finger. Palpatine recoils in his seat. The baby laughs.

"Bah fuud…Bye-bye."

Leia sets a plate of the spinach casserole next to the rest of the food. Palpatine lifts his fork to eat.

"Leia, it looks so inviting. I'm sure all of your hard work has paid off. This is lovely."

"Let me know what you think. I want to know where I need to improve so my real dinner will be a success."

"I promise nothing but constructive criticism." He takes a forkful of the spinach and some of the gougère. He chews a bit then clears his throat. "Ahemm…ack! Oh, dear…It went down the wrong way…I should not have swallowed so quickly."

"Well? Mom told me to add nutmeg. I thought adding some more couldn't hurt. Well?""

He looks for his wine glass and takes a long sip.

"It has a certain punch. The salad is nice."

"Oh, I forgot to add the vinaigrette."

Palpatine quickly hold his hand over the tossed salad.

"No…no…sometimes less is more. It's perfect."

"Oh…okay…well, I'm glad someone likes my food."

"Leia, I'm sure once everyone sees this feast you've created, they'll spread the word."

"Thanks. That's the nicest compliment I've received all day."

She says this loud enough so her father can hear her outside. Palpatine looks at his watch.

"Oh, dear…look at the time…I've got to head over to the theatre to the make-up room. Leia, you keep up the cooking. You won't be a widow for long."

"Gramps, I'm married."

"Ohh…yes…yes…you married that nice young man from Alderaan…"

"Corellia."

"Yes…Tony Corelli…"

"His name is Han."

"Dan Corelli."

"Are you alright, Gramps?"

"What? Oh, I'm fine…Iris." He leaves the kitchen and gently pats her on her shoulder then kisses her on the forehead. "Well…I'll be off now…I've got to send that brilliant young apprentice of mine, Darth Maul on his next mission to Tatooine. His usefulness is coming to an end I'm afraid. We must intercept the Jedi and take the boy…...the Republic is not what it once was. The Senate is full of greedy, squabbling delegates who are only looking out for themselves and their home systems. There is no interest in the common good...no civility, only politics...it's disgusting. I must be frank, Your Majesty, there is little chance the Senate will act on the invasion. Good day, my dear. Ta-tah!"

Leia thinks he is growing senile with his ramblings. She does not realize that the old man is allergic to certain spices. Palpatine makes his way to the front door and leaves. He walks to the sidewalk where his 'on again-off again' ne'er-do-well chauffeur Elan Sleazebaggano stands near the limousine holding open the passenger door. He notices something different about the old Sith.

"You okay, Mr. 'P'?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine my little bee." Palpatine gently pats Elan on the head bending one of his antennae

They drive off to the theatre.

Back inside the house, Leia sits in the day room. She is on the phone with Han.

"How come you can't have dinner at home? I wanted to make something special for you…I know I worked hard all day…Han, you're so sweet…I know…"

Anakin and Isabel discuss Leia's cooking in the house. Isabel scolds her husband for not being more supportive of his daughter's cooking. Isabel follows her husband into the kitchen to continue their discussion.

"Bel, what do you want from me?" Anakin holds Kris on his hip and is about to open the refrigerator. He is distracted when the baby points to a clear jar on the counter.

"Bah fuud."

"Yes…bad food. Daddy knows pretzels aren't on your mother's list of nutritious foods but Daddy is jonesing for some snacks."

Isabel keeps on him.

"All I'm saying is that you could be more supportive of Leia's efforts. She just wants to make a good impression."

"I am being supportive. I tried eating some of that stuff she made. Look at me! I'm wasting away. Now, I'm ready to get some real food. I'm starving." He opens the refrigerator and surveys his choices. Isabel is still talking.

"Anakin, are you listening? You need to take this seriously."

Anakin looks at the baby then mocks his wife. He laughs as he uses his free hand as a talking puppet. He makes a sound like a trombone.

"Mommy's still talking…_Mwa-mwa-mwah_…"

"Mock me all you want. Leia has feelings you know."

Anakin rolls his eyes while he dips his hand in the clear pretzel barrel on the counter. He pops two nuggets into his mouth. As he begins to chew, the nuggets become lodged between his cheek and gum. He tries to dislodge it using his tongue. Anakin makes several attempts to swallow then stamps his foot on the terracotta floor. He pounds his fist on the counter. Suddenly he begins to cough violently. Isabel hurries over to take the baby. Anakin is choking. Isabel hands him a glass of water. He grabs the glass and guzzles it down, belches, then looks at the pretzel barrel. Leia has dumped the hard, leftover mini gougère rejects into the container. He angrily points to the container. When he regains his ability to speak, he goes into a rant.

"This is a pretzel container. It's not supposed to be used for any other purpose."

Leia hangs up the phone and hurries into the kitchen.

"What's all the commotion?"

"Leia, you've got to warn people when you cook and where you store your food. I almost choked to death."

"Oh…sorry, Daddy. They're meant to be washed down with wine. Did you like them?"

Anakin gets an icy stare from his wife. He changes his attitude.

"I never had anything like it, Sweet pea. You're going to knock the competition dead." He takes the baby from Isabel. Leia looks at he father.

"What competition?"

"Uhm…the housewife competition…how do I know? I'm just your old man."

"Oh…okay…So, want to try my dessert?"

"Uhm…you know what? I'm going to wait till later…I think I'll just have some soup for now. I like to eat light during this time of the day."

Kris points to the pretzel jar on the counter.

"Bah fuud."

"Yeah…Good boy…you tried to warn Daddy, didn't you?" He gives the baby a peck on the forehead. Leia looks at her father.

"What did he say?"

"He said Baaah food…you know…like the little wooly animals that like to eat bread…and bread-like food that grows in the ground…uhm.…heh-heh…Baah…baaah. I was reading him a story earlier. It's called. _'What Banthas Like to Eat'_"

Isabel leans against the island counter and folds her arms.

"You need a shovel, Anakin or are you going to keep digging that hole with your mouth?"

"Your mother loves to joke but nobody knows what she's talking about." He rubs noses with Kris who giggles. "There Mommy goes again,_ 'Mwa-mwa-mwah'"_

Isabel turns her attention to Leia.

"So, Leia, when are you going to have your dinner party?"

" I'll notify you. I think I'll do something more intimate first. You know, so I don't feel so overwhelmed."

"That makes sense. Well, I'll let you practice in peace."

That evening Palpatine is about to go on stage for his performance in _'Coruscant Gardens.'_ The old Sith has not been himself all afternoon. He gets through the first two acts by the skin of his teeth, but after intermission, he falls into a grave condition. The following is an excerpt from his show before things turned bad:

_Act 2 Scene 3_ _The Revolution Costume for Today's Sith_

(Speaking to the audience)  
Oh, hi. Thank heaven you're here. I felt a great disturbance in the Force and feared you wouldn't show.  
You look absolutely terrific, honestly.  
Like my outfit? They say scarlet brocade is passé but I think it looks fabulous. Retro is all the rage you know. My son wanted me to come out in a smoking jacket so we had quite a fight... **(He smiles and waves his hand dismissively)  
**  
(Singing)  
The best kind of clothes for a protest pose  
Is this ensemble of Imperial velvet hose  
Pulled over the shorts, worn under the shirt  
That doubles as a cape.

To reveal you in velour pants  
You fashion out of wampa pants,  
In a jersey knit designed to fit  
The contour of your shape.  
Then cinch it with a cord from the Imperial drape.

And that's the revolutionary costume for today.  
To show the Naboo insiders, in khakis and topsiders,  
Just what a revolutionary costume has to say.  
It can't be ordered from L.Bespin.  
There's more to living than Dagobah green.  
And that's the revolution, I mean.

Da da da da dum...

(Speaking)  
Just listen to this: The Coruscant Times Society Page, July, 24BBY:  
"The elderly bed-ridden father of former Dark Lord Darth Vader,  
Chancellor Danni P. Sidious ..."

My very own byline, can you imagine?

"...and his young impressionable Sith Apprentice, Lord Darth Vader,  
a former Jedi prodigy once known as Body Beautiful Ani..."

They called him Body Beautiful Ani, it's true -  
that was his whaddyacallit, his uh ... sobriquet. **(He continues to read the article)  
**  
"...are living on a garbage-ridden, filthy 866-room Death Star with 52 cats,  
lava fleas, cobwebs, and virtually no plumbing.  
After vociferous complaints from neighboring star systems,  
the Galactic Board of Health took legal action against the reclusive pair."

Why, it's the most disgusting, atrocious thing ever to happen in the Galaxy!

(Singing)  
You fight City Hall with a black Kevlar shawl  
That used to hang on the SuRecon wall,  
Pinned under the chin, adorned with a pin  
And pulled into a twist.

(Speaking) I designed that for him. I never got credit at all. He even complained that it was stuffy and made his hips look big,,, Any_who_…

(Singing)

Reinvent the object trouve,  
Make a cape from a duvet,  
Then you can be with Count Dooku

On Mr. Sithwell's list.  
The full-length leather glove hides the fist.

And that's the revolutionary costume for today.  
Subvert the Naboo boaters, those New Republic voters.  
Armies of conformity are headed right your way.  
To make a statement you need not be  
In Theed Palace Harbor upending tea.  
And that's a Revolution, to me.

Staunch!  
There's nothin' worse, I tell ya,  
Staunch!  
S-T-A-U-N-C-H.  
Staunch Sith, we just don't weaken.  
A little known fact to the rebel pack  
Who comes here with Rieekan.

Da da da da dum...

(Speaking)  
Honestly, they can get you on Yavin for wearing red brocade beach robes on a Thursday –  
and all that sort of thing.  
I don't know whether you know that – I mean, do you know that?  
They can get you for almost anything – it's a mean, nasty, New Republic town.

(Singing)  
The best kind of shoes to express bold views  
Are velvet curled-toed slippers in assertive hues  
Like burgundy, Imperial Navy blue or black patent leather jack boots if you choose, except on the beach,  
In which case you wear sand crawlers, named for that dreadfully obscene Jawa vehicle on Tatooine

When I stood before the galactic nation  
At my inauguration,  
In a long dark cloak and with all the pomp, I got the jump  
on Padmé's wacky hat.  
Just watch it where you step with the cat!

And that's the revolutionary costume pour du jour.  
You mix 'n' match and, Presto!  
A fashion manifesto.  
That's why a revolutionary costume's de rigeur.  
The rhododendrons are hiding Jedi spies,  
The willows have beady Trade Federation eyes.  
Binoculars through the privet hedge,  
They peek at you through the window ledge with guile!

We're in a Revolution!  
So win the Revolution with style!

Da da da da dum.

As the curtain falls at the end of the second act, the feverish former Emperor-turned- thespian collapses in a heap. The stagehands drag his listless body off the stage. An understudy picks up the slack during the second half of the show after an announcement is made.

"_Ladies and Gentlemen due to sudden illness of our leading actor, the part of Baron Insidious will be portrayed in the remaining two acts by understudy Lorian Nod. We apologize and hope you will remain for the performance."_

Just before Palpatine began his performance, things back at the Skywalker home take a turn for the worst. Anakin and his wife put the children to bed early with the anticipation of a romantic evening. Much to their great surprise and delight, the children go to bed without a fight. Tonight seems to be the perfect evening. The stars are in alignment and love is in the air…or so they think. Anakin shakes the whipped cream dispenser.

Just as he is about to do some 'erotic decorating', a foreboding presence surrounds them. It is the after-effects of Leia's cooking. Ana-Lena makes her way to her parent's room. Anakin is ready to be a firm parent and send her packing, doll with the lazy eye and all back to her own little bed. Tonight, however, she appears, sans doll, in tears, her face is pale and damp.

"This had better be damned good."

"Mommy, Daddy…"

"What is it, Sweet pea Jr.?"

"I don't feel so good."

"What?"

"My tummy hurts."

Isabel turns up the dimmer on the night table lamp. The room was set for romance. Ana-Lena takes a breath then hurls the days' food, which include Leia's 'burnt offerings, onto the bedroom rug. Isabel leaves the bed and hurries over to feel her forehead.

"Oh, Dear. You have a slight temperature, sweetie."

Anakin grabs his daughter. Isabel disappears in the bathroom and returns with a wet hand towel. Anakin wipes Ana-Lena's face. Isabel gets the wet vac to clean up the mess. Anakin carries his little girl into the bed. Just as Isabel finishes cleaning there is another incident. Alex is crying in his bed. Isabel hurries into the nursery. She checks on Li-An and the baby but they are fine. Kris sleeps soundly. Li-An is just annoyed that all the disruptions are keeping him awake. Anakin examines him anyway taking his temperature. Li-An is trying to fend off his father.

"Dad! Geez, I'm finally in bed without you yelling and now you're waking me up? How's a kid supposed to get a full nights' sleep?"

"It's a precaution. I want to make sure you're ok. Your brother and sister aren't feeling well. Why didn't you and Kris get sick?"

"Maybe 'cause we're not gullible and as eager to please as those two. Leia must be crazy if she thinks I'm gonna eat that bantha swill."

"Hey, have some respect. That's your sister. She tries. Stop talking."

"She should try _'not'_ to."

Anakin removes the thermometer from Li-An's mouth.

"I'm done with you. Go to sleep."

"I'm wide awake now. Can I have some chocolate milk?"

"No!" He tucks him in like a chrysalis.

"Hey, I can't move. What's it say?" Li-An manages to free his hand from under the duvet and points to the thermometer. Anakin gently but firmly brushes his hand away.

"It says you're normal and about to get a spanking if you don't go to sleep."

"It doesn't say all that; besides, you'll never spank me."

"You can never tell. Fortunately, for you, the child protection laws are pretty specific. I don't want to be hauled in front of the judge again. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Dad."

"Goodnight my Jedi child."

Anakin kisses his forehead before leaving the room.

Isabel sits on the side of the bathtub while Alex sits on the toilet. The contents of his stomach follows the correct path but not in the most comforting manner. Anakin appears in the doorway with An-Lena in his arms. Alex seems to be suffering the most.

After several visits and a dose of Youngling pepto medicine, Alex winds up in the master bed with his mother, father, and sister. Anakin calls Leia.

"Leia, hey, listen…Do your father a favor and don't use your siblings as taste testers. They're all sick…I don't think Isabel wants to go through childbirth again if we have to replace one. She's pissed at me as it is. You do know that now my weekend is ruined….It's too late for _'I'm sorry.' _

Later that evening there is a knock at the door. Anakin hears Threepio downstairs speaking to someone.

"Goodness gracious me! Master Ani will be terribly displeased."

Anakin heads downstairs to see who is disrupting the peaceful Skywalker household. He discovers the 'old man' standing in the foyer. He is pale and barely able to stand on his own. The old Sith is not alone. Elan helps him inside. Palpatine looks at Anakin.

"Son, I need your help. This illness has left me weakened and in pain."

Elan agrees.

"Yeah…and I have to hold you up. My small body can't support your dead weight. This is a nice place. Can I crash here tonight?"

Anakin will not have any of this.

"Oh, I don't think so. You're not going to crash here. You're leaving right now."

"But I worked hard today. Your old man isn't the easiest guy to work for…" Elan digs in his pocket and pulls out a death stick. He looks around the foyer then looks at Anakin while holding the death stick between his fingers.. "You got a light, Mr. Skywalker?"

"No. I'll take that." He snatches the death stick from Elan.

"Awh, Man! That was not cool at all. I paid good money for that…It was a whole week's paycheque, man!"

"Leave now while you still have legs."

"But I turned in the limo already. We came in an air taxi. How am I gonna get home? It's a long walk to my part of town. There are real predators out there. They see me as fresh meat. I could get robbed or worse at this time of night. I could pass for a top male model. My body is my temple."

Anakin stuffs money into the pocket of Elan's bowling shirt.

"Here's four credits. Take the metro."

"Awh...man…come on! Okay! Fine…Uhm…can I have some scratch to get a burger at Biscuit Baron?"

"Leave now before I change my mind."

"What's with the 'tude, man? You need to get laid. You're being so uncool right now." He sighs then turns around. Anakin has made up his mind. Threepio holds the door open for Elan.

"Run along, you shiftless, opportunistic little carpet mite." He gives him the golden boot out the door.

Anakin leads Palpatine one of the empty servant's rooms behind the kitchen.

"Anakin, can't I stay upstairs with you?

"No."

What if I have a relapse? Who's going to take care of me?"

"It's the guestroom or Shady Acres."

"You're supposed to take care of me in my golden years."

"Sue me. Goodnight."

On Sunday morning the 'sicklings' recuperate on fruit flavored Youngling electrolyte beverages and fresh duck broth with Tatooine soda biscuits. They are lounging in the dayroom overlooking the garden. Palpatine shuffles into the room and settles in the recliner in the corner. Alex and Ana-Lena share the sofa. They watch the newest season of 'Chewy and Boga' on the plasma.

Leia stops by the house with Han to survey the 'damage.' She apologies to her siblings and smothers them with hugs and kisses. The each receives a gift.

"Oh, my sweet brother and sister; I'm so sorry. Please forgive me."

"Okay."

"Here's a little something to make it up to you."

"The children accept the activity sets and continue to watch their show.

"Thanks."

"You're so sweet. If anything were to happen to you…" She leans over and squeezes them affectionately.

"Leia! You're in the way, we can't see the show."

"Why you ungratefully little monsters!"

"Mom! Dad! Leia's causing us undue pain and stress!"

Anakin responds from the garden.

"Leia, stay away from the kids." He is sitting at the breakfast table outside reading the Sunday Coruscant Times. The entertainment section covers Palpatine's onstage collapse.

'_The Great White Way Stained By Ham Actors' Green Eggs'_

Luke and Mara stop by for Sunday brunch after hearing about the children. Luke takes Mara to the scene of the crime.

"Here we are…the Skywalker kitchen… In the entire galaxy, you will never find a more wanton source of culinary cruelty. We must be cautious. By the way, don't touch the pretzel jar."

Mara drops what she is about to put into her mouth and replaces the lid to the pretzel jar.

"Wow…who would have thought. Sooo…who's cooking today?"

"My dad's firing up the grill later."

"Awesome, I'm not going to starve after all."

"You know, Mara, there's still plenty of time before our wedding for Leia to improve her cooking. We could save money if we let her do the catering."

"You just don't want to go with me to the wedding planner. Well, you're not going to get out of it, 'Wormie.'

"I don't see why we have to use the same one. I'm not that picky."

"They're highly recommended."

They visit Alex and Ana-Lena. Luke hands them each a gift. They reach out to accept the presents without turning away from the plasma.

"Thanks."

Luke smiles as he glances at the screen.

"Wow…you've got the new season. Cool."

Ana-Lena waves her hand for Luke to stop talking.

"Shhhh!"

Luke laughs.

"Oh…sorry."

Palpatine rolls his eyes.

"That show will rot your brains. Why don't you tots turn down the volume so your elderly grandfather can get some rest?"

"No. We were in here first."

Palpatine is surprised by Ana-Lena's changed attitude.

"What happened to you? You used to be so agreeable before yesterday. What a charming child you were. I must speak to your father about this." Everyone ignores him. Li-An passes through the dayroom looking at some plasma ball team cards and chewing a wad of bubblegum. Palpatine smile when he sees him.

"Li-An, my boy. How are you this morning?"

"Fine and you?"

"I'm on the road to recovery. Do me a favor….please?"

"What is it?"

"Can't you convince your brother and sister to turn down the volume or do something else? I need to recuperate."

"You want them to turn off 'Chewy and Boga'? What kind of crazy person would do that to a kid?"

"You used to be my favorite grandchild."

"That's okay. I still have other grandparents." Li-An continues examining his cards and leaves the room."

Palpatine goes outside and walks over to Anakin.

"Anakin, your youngsters are being disrespectful towards me. I cannot fully recuperate in time for tonight's performance. Therefore, I am sorry to say, I must leave."

Anakin glances up from his paper. The baby is sitting in his lap.

"Oh…okay. Good luck tonight."

"That's bad luck."

"What is?"

"When someone is due to perform on stage you always say 'Break a leg.'"

"That's an _'effed up'_ thing to say to someone."

"It's a superstition in show business. I told you that before."

"Oh…okay…well…break a leg."

"I could stay a bit longer…say…after supper perhaps?"

"Suit yourself."

"What's for supper?"

"Fish."

"I was in the mood for steak."

"It's fish."

"What time are you going to start?"

"Later." He continues to read his paper.

The old Sith presses him for an exact time.

"How much later?"

"I don't know…three…four."

"I have to be at the theatre. I have a four o'clock call"

"Okay."

"What?"

Anakin looks up from his paper.

"Oh…break a leg." The baby smiles and claps his hands.

The family gathers for supper at 4 o'clock right after Palpatine leaves. Anakin gets phone call as the family sits around outside. It is the Emergency Department at Coruscant University Hospital. After taking the call, he looks around the table.

"Who wants to hop a ride with me to the hospital?"

Isabel looks across the table at her husband.

"What happened this time?"

"He said it was supposed to be good luck. Leia, Han, this all started because of you two. Let's go."

Anakin arrives at the hospital. They run into Lorian Nod and Elan Sleazebaggano. Elan is blubbering and wailing like a girl.

"Mr. Skywalker, I'm so sorry. It's all my fault! What's going to happen to me!"

Anakin looks at Lorian Nod.

""What's he talking about?"

Lorian takes Anakin aside.

"He's a little freaked out. He was smoking backstage near the near the housekeeping office. The old man was yelling for him to get ready for his wardrobe change. When Elan took his time coming back, Palpatine went after him. That's when he tripped over the mop and got his foot stuck in the bucket and got tangled up in the curtains. He fractured his leg."

"Oh, good grief!" Anakin rolls his eyes and scratches his head

Elan is still moaning. He crawls on his knees pleading for mercy. He grabs onto the Dark Lord's pants leg.

"Please don't kill me, Mr. Skywalker."

Anakin feels awkward as Elan continues to grovel. He almost feels sorry for the pitiful assistant. Lorian continues to explain what happened. Anakin is baffled.

"What makes him think I'm going to kill him?"

"He thinks you're going to wind up with the old guy in your home. He thinks you'll blame him for everything that's happened."

"Oh…well I do, but he shouldn't worry about that. I'll take care of the old man."

"You will?"

"Sure. Elan really doesn't have anything to worry about."

"Oh, that's a relief."

"Tell him he's off the hook. He should calm down."

Anakin walks into the hospital room to visit the old Sith. The former Emperor is in traction. He has a small bruise on his forehead. The paramedics did not exactly take great care when removing Palpatine from the theatre. The emergency gurney hit several objects on the way out. The hallway leading the backstage emergency door is narrow and old props are still lying against the wall. The fire marshal issued several citations for the congested hallways in the past but the theatre manager insisted no one of great importance ever stayed back there so he was in no hurry to clear the area.

Besides the bruise, Palpatine sustained injuries that are more serious. He has a broken right leg, a twisted left ankle, and a dislocated left shoulder. He looks helpless lying in the hospital bed. He musters enough strength to lift his right hand. A faint smile creeps across his face.

"Oh, Anakin, you're here. You've actually come to visit me…and Leia!…you dear, dear child. You may not cook well but you have a good heart...and you've come with your wonderful husband. Thank you…everyone."

Leia rolls her eyes then smiles. Anakin looks him over.

"So, I hear you had a little spill, old man."

Suddenly, the old man musters up enough strength to go into an angry rant.

"Spill? Spill? That idiot Elan almost killed me! My career is ruined. Do you know who's replacing me? Do You?"

"No. Who?"

"That smart-alecky former waiter and so-called comedian Johnny Faytonni, that's who."

Leia smiles.

"Really? That's great!"

She suddenly remembers this is not good news for the old man. She blushes. Palpatine continues his tirade as Anakin listens.

"And guess what?"

"What?"

"They're turning my show into a comedy. Just like that! I haven't been of the stage for three hours and they're scrapping my show! It's insulting!"

"But wasn't it already a comedy?"

Palpatine is offended. He quickly sets the record straight.

"It was a lighthearted jaunt through the past. It was a father reminiscing with his son about the good old days. It had pathos…it had heart…and look what they've done! It's an outrage, I tell you! Would you go to see some dribble performed by a glib stand-up comic? I wouldn't! Arrogant sithead! Oh, Leia, dear child. I must apologize about not being able to visit you in your lovely new home for your first dinner. That's coming up soon, isn't it?"

"That's okay; you weren't invited."

"Oh…well…." He turns his attention to Anakin. "Anakin, son, how come Isabel isn't here?"

"She's busy at home with four young children."

"Did she express any concern for me? Was she overcome with grief when she heard about my accident?"

"As a matter of fact, she did express concern. She asked about your recuperation and how you would manage alone in your condo."

"Oh, that's sweet of her. What a wonderful wife and daughter-in-law. I promise you now, Anakin, I won't be a burden on her or the children when I come to stay at the house during my recovery. You won't hear a peep out of me except to get my sponge bath, rotate me in bed, bring me my meals, and when I need to be carried to the refresher."

"Oh…You needn't bother worrying about that. Everything is being worked out. I guarantee you round the clock nursing service. You're going to stay at Shady Acres Nursing Home."

"What? Anakin! That's where …this is awful! People never emerge from there alive. It's an eternal tunnel to hell. Please don't send me there, Anakin. I am old and in pain. Don't put me in that place."

"That's expressly why you're going there. You'll be fine. Your old buddies with be there, Tomo and Tiny; you remember them."

There is silence in the room. Palpatine gives Anakin a look that he will never forget. The old Sith has never felt so hurt and unwanted. He truly believed he was a beloved member of the family.

This awkward moment causes Anakin to avert his gaze. Instead, he looks around the room in an effort to focus on anything other than that sad, pitiful, aged face. Anakin could swear he saw the eyes of the former Emperor well up with tears. A person could almost feel sorry for the pathetic, broken old geezer until he makes one fatal mistake. His sad face turns angry and bitter.

"She put you up to this, didn't she? She hates me, I can just feel it! Well, I have some choice words for her! Yes I do!"

"It has nothing to do with her. The decision to send you to the nursing home was mine and mine alone."

"So, you don't want me around do you? Is that it? Oooh…If I had my powers…"

"Oh, so you want to go there? Fine! You want to know the truth? You're disruptive, you command too much of our time, and you complain constantly. Every time you're with us, you suck the life out of everybody. Just once I'd like to have an enjoyable holiday or just a peaceful Sunday with my wife and children without having to rescue you or apologizing to people after you've offended someone."

"Is that how you feel?"

"Yes, so keep Isabel out of this. She's been more than fair to you."

"Fine then. I was wrong. I apologize."

"I'm glad you see it my way."

"So, does this mean I get to convalesce at your house?"

"No. You're still going to Shady Acres…besides; they have a professional staff there to deal with your nonsense. You'll recover faster. Trust me."

"You…"

Just as the old sith is about to argue again, Anakin raises his hand, warning him not to say another word. Palpatine recoils like a beaten dewback. The head nurse walks into the room as Anakin raises his hand. Leia, Han, and Lorian follow the nurse inside. They hear her scream at Anakin.

"Mr. Skywalker! Were you about to hit this poor old man?"

"Uhmmm…"

Leia gasps.

"Daddy! How could you?"

Han is caught between bemusement and shock.

"Damn, Mrs. 'S,' what did he do to piss you off this time?"

Lorian Nod walks over to Palpatine's bedside.

"Oh, dear."

The angry nurse turns to Anakin.

"Mr. Skywalker, this visit is over. This is obviously a stressful moment for you. Perhaps you should leave.

I think it's best that your father convalesce at the Shady Acres Facility."

Both Palpatine and Anakin stare at one another. Anakin backs away and leaves the room.

During the drive home, Leia and Han cannot stop talking about the visit.

"Daddy, I really thought you were going to slap him. You should have seen the expression on your face. I thought I was going to lose it."

Anakin is annoyed.

"Aw…come on! I wasn't going to hit him. What made you think that?"

"You were standing over him like you were going to kill him."

"Don't act so innocent, your highness. I didn't see you shedding any tears. I heard you outside the room laughing it up with your husband. I was never going to hit him. "

Han cannot resist putting his 2 cents into the conversation.

"Mr. 'S', you were standing over his hospital bed in a threatening manner. The nurse had every reason to believe you were going to harm him."

"I was trying to make him be quiet."

"That's one way of shutting him up."

"Well, the nurse got the impression you were going to hurt him. You sort of lucked out, Dad. Now you won't be stuck with him at the house. Did you see the expression on Palp's face when he saw your hand go up? Face it, Dad; you played it perfectly."

"Honest! I did not intend to hit him. Why don't you believe me? It was a reflex at the most."

"Dad, it was funny. Come on…"

Anakin relaxes a bit as he drives. He starts to smile."

"Alright, it was funny. Geez. But do me a favor, please don't mention this to anyone. I'll never hear the end of it."

Han and Leia are the least of his worries. The gossip originates from other sources. Palpatine gets the rumor-mill churning while embellishing his story to gain sympathy from the public. The headline in the Monday morning paper will be a jaw-dropper:

'_Former Emperor Strikes Back at Abusive Dark Lord Son'_

The daily tabloid 'The Coco Town Daily Mirror' publishes a scathing article with allegations of extreme abuse quoting the former Emperor, _'… and then he grabbed my broken body and lifted me over his head and tossed me down the laundry chute because I told him my bath water was too hot.'_

That Sunday night, Anakin arrives home. Leia remembers to give something to her father before she and Han take off in their speeder and head for home.

The house is quiet. .Anakin lumbers upstairs to the master bedroom. It is late and he is tired. Isabel is sitting up reading a book when her husband walks through the door.

"How did it go, sweetie?"

"Let's just say, where the old man is concerned, chaos follows him wherever he goes."

"I'm sorry."

Anakin takes a quick shower then goes to bed. He takes an envelope from the dresser and hands it to Isabel. He rests his head in her lap as she examines the envelope.

"What's this?"

"An invitation from Leia and Han for dinner."

"Oh…"

"Come on, Isabel, you know you want to say more than that."

"I think it's very nice. This must be very exciting for her to prepare her first official dinner in her new home. We haven't been to their place since helping them move in."

"Pack the pepto tablets and make sure you have 911 on the speed dial of our cell phone."

"Oh, stop it!" She giggles.

"I'm going to see my lawyer in the morning to update my will. You never know about these things."

"I'm sure your will is fine."

"No…I left everything to the droids. I was pissed at everybody in the house that day."

"That's okay…If you were to take a dirt nap and leave me a widow, I could move in with my parents. No hard feelings."

"Will you visit my grave every week?"

"Oh, well…we were going to shoot you off into space."

"What?"

"I'm teasing."

"I was teasing too. I didn't will everything to the droids. I provided well for my family. But I want you to bring the pepto to the dinner."

"I'm sure Leia will have a lovely first dinner. She's had plenty of time to practice."

"Maybe she'll kill that new father-in-law, 'Mr. Double-O Lech.'"

Isabel shakes her finger at him.

"Anakin, I don't want you sucker-punching him anymore."

"That was an accident. His face got in the way of my fist."

"Two times in a 3-second intervals…what are the odds. Go to sleep."

The day of the big dining event arrives. Li-An hands his father a barf bag he got from Luke. Luke got it from Dex Jetsetter's grand re-opening party after being shut down for a month by the department of health.

The barf bags were a gag gift from Kyle Katarn. Li-An looks deep into his father's eyes and utters a sincere _'For Luck.'_

Ana-Lena and Alex have been spending a lot of time with their parents all of the younger Skywalker children have been on their best behavior since their parents received the dinner invitation. Isabel is wearing a sleeveless black cocktail dress with a gold lame sash and matching short jacket. Anakin looks stylish in his black suit, a pinstripe dress shirt with a black and gold diamond weave silk tie. The children walk their parents to the door. Little Kris wails miserably as his grandmother holds him. Anakin has never seen him this hysterical. Anakin takes him for a minute.

"Hey…hey…what's with the tears?"

Li-An fills his father in on the problem.

"Threepio says Artoo calculated the odds of Leia poisoning you two before the night is over. The odds weren't in your favor."

Alex hugs his mother.

"Mom, don't go, please?"

Anakin calls Threepio over.

"What's the deal scaring my kids?"

"I'm sorry, Master but the children wanted to know. I'm sure you'll have a nice dinner and you'll come home safe. Artoo has been known to make a statistical error or two…from time to time."

Anakin hands the baby back to his mother-in-law.

"Kids, relax, your mother and I will be just fine. Enough with the doom and gloom. Your sister is a going to prepare an excellent meal. I don't want to hear anymore nonsense about her cooking. Is that clear?"

Li-An, Ana-Lena, and Alex nod obediently. Kris calms down and cokes back a few remaining tears. They watch as their parents drive off for the evening.

_**'On the Menu Tonight: Cremadookubisqnach'**_

When Anakin and Isabel arrive at the home of the newlyweds, James and Sabrina Solo are already there. Han's father is at the bar mixing drinks. Sabrina Solo answers the door.

"Isabel, Anakin! How lovely to see you both! You look divine! Isabel, I love that dress."

"Thank you. It's good to see you. I like your dress too."

"It's a Mon Calamari Couture. I've had it for years. Come in. Han is getting ready and Leia is in the kitchen."

Anakin is holding a bouquet of flowers and a gift.

"Great. Are we late or did you arrive early?"

Sabrina takes the flowers from him.

"Oh, we arrived a bit early. James bought some Corellian champagne so we wanted to put it on ice as soon as possible. What beautiful flowers! They smell lovely. Felucia Freesia and roses are so fragrant this time of year. I'll take them to Leia and show her immediately."

Anakin and Isabel walk over to the bar. Han's father is making martinis. He smiles when he sees them.

"Anakin Skywalker. Good to see you my friend."

"Hello, Professor."

"Isabel, you look more beautiful than the last time I saw you."

"You're too kind. Thank you."

He leans over to kiss her on the cheek.

"I hope your husband doesn't mind if I kiss a beautiful woman."

"He's fine."

Anakin rolls his eyes. James Solo looks at Anakin.

"Anakin, what's your poison?"

"You serving poison?"

"Ahh…you do have a sense of humor. Martini?"

"Yes. Thank you. A lot of stuff is going on at my house."

"Yes…Han told me. I understand you're having problems with Mr. Palpatine."

"Let's just say he's been keeping us on our toes."

"I'm sure you have matters under control no matter what the papers say."

"What?"

Sabrina Solo takes him by the arm and shows him around the room.

"Anakin, let me give you a short tour while the newlyweds are getting ready."

"Thank you."

Anakin looks around the living room. He sees a collection of holographs of the newlyweds. His eyes drift to one in particular of the couple during their honeymoon on Yavin4. Leia is wearing a sarong and bikini. Han is wearing an open linen shirt and matching drawstring beach pants. He wonders why Han is covered up more than his daughter is.

Anakin glances at a corner table to see more images. He takes a sip from his glass and finds another set of images on the end table. He notices one of the men in the wedding party. It is the first time he has seen it. Han is standing next to Anakin flanked by Kyp, Chewie, Lando, and Obi-Wan. Han holds two fingers behind Anakin's head.

Han walks into the living room and his face turns pale.

"Hello, Mr. Skywalker. Welcome to our home...great suit…did you get a drink?" Anakin holds up his glass for Han to see. Han clears his throat. "Oh, great. My dad makes the best martinis…ahem…I can explain that holograph…it's not what you think…I wasn't disrespecting you…"

"Relax, Han. It's alright. We all had our fun that day. Hell, it was a wedding. So, wear's my daughter?"

"Oh, she's in the kitchen. We were just separating the steaks."

"Separating?"

"They're on a platter. She's going to but them in the broiler…they're the best. I'm going to go back in the kitchen and help her. Have another drink."

Han quickly disappears into the kitchen. Isabel hears banging and the sound of tin cans being hurled into the recycling bin. Professor Solo smiles as he joins Anakin and Sabrina in the living room. Isabel walks towards the kitchen without looking in.

"Do you need any help in there?"

A nervous Leia answers.

"No! No…we're fine…we're all fine….how are you doing out there?"

"Great. I love the window treatments."

"Aren't those great drapes? Nana and Pop Nakai bought them for us. Did Han's father serve you drinks?"

"Yes…I'm going to head back into the living room and let you work in peace."

"Okay…thanks."

The two sets of parents sit patiently in the living room making small talk and drinking. The appetizers on the silver tray sit untouched on the coffee table. Professor Solo refreshes everyone's drink. He is on his third cocktail. Isabel has had enough. She sets her glass down on the table. Anakin glances at another wedding holograph near his chair. In this holograph, he is standing with Han and his father. Much to his chagrin, those two fingers are propped behind his head. He is going to break someone's nerfherding fingers before the night is over. For now, the cocky pirate is saved. Leia walks into the living room. She greets her parents. Anakin hands her a gift.

"Oh, great, everyone is here chatting. Isabel, I love your dress."

"Thanks. You look terrific yourself."

"Thanks. Oh, hi, Dad. A gift? You didn't have to do that."

"It's from your mom and me. It's a hostess gift."

"Can I open it now?"

"Of course."

Leia and Han open the package together. There is a platinum candlestick set, a music chip to play during cocktail parties and a cookbook. Han whispers to her.

"Oooh…nice…just what we need…and not too soon."

Anakin looks at him.

"What was that, Han?"

"Oh…nothing…I mean…great gift. We're going to use this a lot. Thanks."

Leia smiles and kisses her parents.

"Thank you. It's perfect. Well, ladies and gentlemen, dinner is served."

The parents file into the dining room. Professor Solo holds a chair for Isabel. Anakin holds a chair out for Mrs. Solo.

After the toast and a few words from Han and Leia, the first course is served. It is soup. There are no complaints.

Professor Solo compliments Leia on the soup.

"This soup is delightful, what is it?"

Han and Leia respond at the same time.

"Cream of duck and spinach." "Naboo oyster bisque."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Cream of duck Bis…."

Anakin looks in his bowl he looks at the head of the table at Leia.

"What was that? Cream of duck bill?"

"No…cream of duck…"

Sabrina Solo tastes the soup again.

"You know, I do detect oysters."

Professor Solo takes his soups again.

"I distinctly detect duck broth and noodles…and if I'm not mistaken….sauterne."

Han looks in his bowl. He has got a bit of everything floating in the broth. Anakin looks in his bowl too.

"Leia, it looks like you put a bit of everything in here." Isabel kicks him under the table. "It's unique…just like you, sweet pea."

Leia has heard enough from the panel of judges. She stands and starts to collect the soup bowls.

"Okay…the next course is ready."

Han assists and follows her into the kitchen.

"Hehheh….just wait till you try the next course."

They disappear for a few minutes. There is some scrambling in the kitchen. There is a crashing sound like a pan falling to the floor. The newlyweds are speaking in hushed whispers. Anakin gets up and calls in to them.

"You kids need help in there?"

"No…no…we're fine…everything's fine. Have a drink."

Anakin returns to the table. Professor solo is gulping down a glass of Caamas whisky. Anakin, Isabel, and Han's mother have stopped drinking. Sabrina figures she will have to drive back to the hotel tonight.

Han emerges with plates of meat rice and vegetables. Leia follows with the remaining plates. Once everyone is served, Leia smiles and takes her seat.

"Okay…Bon appétit."

Anakin sense something. He sees Isabel cutting into the shaak filet mignon steak. It is barely cooked in the center and even frozen in spots. Isabel eyes her husband. He waves his hand just as everyone is about to eat. Professor Solo beings to choke and cough. Han and his mother rush to his aid. Leia leaves her chair.

"Is he alright?"

"I think the whisky went down the wrong way."

"Let's take him into the living room."

Anakin watches as they help the professor to the sofa.

"Leia. Your mother and I will keep the food warm."

"Thanks, Daddy."

Anakin and Isabel grab the plates and hurry into the kitchen. Isabel does some quick doctoring of the main course. She does not want Leia to be devastated over this. Anakin jokes.

"This animal is still alive. You could put a saddle on it and start riding into the sunset."

"Stop making jokes and cut up some fresh vegetables. We don't have much time."

Anakin searches the refrigerator.

"I have mushrooms, these long green things, and onions."

"Heat up some water…fast!"

She zaps the meat in the oven, dumps some flat noodles in the boiling water then juliennes the green beans, or 'green things' as Anakin calls them. He slices some Felucia white mushrooms.

"Bel' this is the most time I've spent with you in weeks. We make a good team. How come we don't work in our kitchen like this? You look so hot right now." He brushes his lips across the back of her neck.

"You just answered your question. Stop fooling around. How's it going out there?"

Anakin pokes his head out the kitchen door.

"He's coming around. You need me to knock him out a little bit longer?"

"No! Help me set up these plates but make them look like the first one. This needs to look like something she could have done but still looks nice."

"Yes, ma'm!"

They return to the dining room with the food just as Han, Leia, and Sabrina help Professor Solo back to the table. He is back to his old self again.

"I must apologize; I don't know what came over me."

Han pats his father on the shoulder before he returns to his seat. He notices that the food is hot and looks good enough to eat. He exchanges a knowing glance with Leia.

"It happens. Glad it was nothing. I've had blackout moments like that."

"Really, Junior? When?"

"Oh….at the Skywalker house. It's as if I just lost consciousness for no apparent reason." He glances across the table at Leia."

"Well, son, it has done wonders for my appetite. Leia, this is the best shaak filet I have ever tasted. Han told me you've been practicing for weeks. Your hard work has paid off, my dear."

Han's mother raves about the meal too.

"Leia, it's marvelous…you must give me the recipe."

"Sure…I don't have it written down but I'm sure I can extract it somehow." She looks at her father. "How's your food, Daddy?"

"Just great, Sweat pea. These green thingies are cooked perfectly. I think I should try this myself. You surprise me, princess."

"Nothing gets pass you, Daddy."

After dinner, the family sits in the living room for dessert. The hot java is flowing. Leia serves a store-bought chocolate cake, which she tops with whipped cream. The lemon tarts never made it onto the serving tray. Li-An was right about them…they were thick, rubbery yellow disks. The conversation drifts from interior design, plasma ball, Professor Solo's retirement, and fashion, which causes the men to grab some cigars, a bottle of Caamas and make a mad dash outside to the balcony.

At the end of the night, Anakin and Isabel leave first. Han and Leia walk them to the door.

"Mr. 'S', 'Mrs. 'S,' thank you for making this evening special.

Anakin shakes the nerfherder's hand.

"I enjoyed every moment, Solo. See you back at headquarters."

Leia whispers to Isabel.

"Thank you. You and Dad saved the night. I though the night was going to be ruined."

"We have no idea what you're talking about. All we did was kept the food warm. Thank you for inviting us. Your father and I had a great time."

During the ride home, Anakin has a big smile on his face. Isabel looks at him.

"What?"

"I've got a secret."

"What are you, five years old? Are you going to tell me?"

"I know the secret recipe for Leia's special soup."

"Where did you find it?"

"In the recycling bin."

"So, you're going dumpster-diving now?"

"It was in the kitchen…In plain view."

"That's not in 'plain view,' you spy."

"That's such an ugly word. Guess what I found. Ask me."

"Okay, 'trash picker,' what did you find?"

"Three cans of Chommell Nectar Soups. Oyster Bisque, Creamy Duck and Noodle, and Cream of Spinach. Our daughter may not know how to cook but you have to give her points for creativity."

"That is true."

Anakin sighs happily.

"I hope the kids are asleep."

"Why?"

"I want to hang out with you. Let's grab a bottle of champagne, some blankets and make out on the terrace. We have to celebrate our team effort tonight."

"You want to get laid?"

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you just say so?"

"It sounds romantic. And you know what else?"

"What? This is the first time in awhile that I haven't pissed off anyone, had more than one person in our bed, or had to pay a visit to the emergency room. I have a feeling this is going to be a beautiful night."

…And it was.

Next Chapter_… 'Two Reds Don't Make A White Wedding'_


	146. Chapter 146Two Reds Don't Make It White

_Chapter 146_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Red's Wedding Makeover'_

'_How to Plan a Jedi Wedding'_

'_Merging of Da Two Families'_

'_My Dinner with Anakin'_

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Anakin checks off his calendar. His life is back in balance. The kids are in school, and Jedi training, Leia's 'Shaak Helper' dinner was a resounding success…no one got sick. He's had the best sex in a long time. Not once did anyone knock on the master bedroom door or try to contact him by phone. The best news, however, during the past few weeks, is that Gladys was back from her vacation. She resumes her duties as if she had never left. There was finally peace in the galaxy.

There is one thing that is an everlasting annoyance however…Palpatine. The old Sith continues his recovery at Shady Acres. Anakin checks in with the nursing home to see if the old sith is still breathing. Palpatine is healing nicely but he is feeling down in the dumps. Anakin thinks about this. _'He should be down in the dumps'_…soiling the Dark Lord's good name with allegations of abuse. He tells the old man to _'Sith, heal thyself'_. Palpatine has no idea what this means. He has no powers. This is nonsense.

Anakin is relieved that he can now focus on the next event: the upcoming nuptials of his eldest son and Mara Jade. He has been feeling guilty for not spending enough time with Luke. As he updates his calendar, he sets aside some time to have dinner with Luke and to enjoy some father and son time. The engagement announcement is in the Coruscant Times Society Page:

_'Mr. & Mrs. Vincenzo Jade of Central Galactic City announce the engagement of their daughter, Mara Rosanna Costanza, to Jedi Master Luke Skywalker the son of Lord & Mrs. Anakin Skywalker of South Coruscant. No date has been set yet although a spring wedding is anticipated.'_

The Jedi Council has avoided discussing Luke's wedding during the meetings. They make it a policy not to discuss personal matters with the Jedi population or with council members unless it revolves around Jedi important business. The other reason for not discussing personal matters is out of respect. The weekly meeting is push forward because Luke has an appointment. He and Mara go to see the infamous Roulf and his assistant Theodore. Mara brings her mother along.

Maggie Jade is excited to accompany her daughter and future son-in-law to this meeting. She makes no secret that she is living vicariously though her daughter's experience.

Luke picks Mara up at the Jade home. Mara hurries over to Luke as he walks around the passenger side to open the door. Mara is wearing a beige pants and jacket set cinched with a tan leather belt and matching high heel sandals. It is typical Mara-style without head to toe leather. She wants to make a good impression as she walks along the stylish streets of the exclusive shopping district without compromising her personal sense of style. She knows the stuffy society women will be giving her a once over.

Luke sees another redhead leaving the house and heading down the pathway to Luke's vehicle. He lets out a woeful sigh.

"Ohh…noo."

Mara smiles.

"Luke, please, she's never been to a real fancy wedding planner. She wants to come. I promise I'll take full responsibility for her."

"Oh…I see…alright…get in, Red."

"Lu-Lu, I love you." She gives him a kiss then gets into the speeder.

Luke holds the rear passenger door for Maggie Jade. She is wearing a bright yellow crepe de chine suit with green piping along the jacket. The wide lapels give the suit a retro look. A big vermilion-colored silk flower pin adorns the left lapel. She is wearing matching yellow and green-checkered sling back pumps with a matching purse. She is giddy about this once-in-a lifetime opportunity. She smiles as she walks up to him and gives him a big kiss. Maggie leaves her trademark cherry red lipstick on his cheek.

"Oh, Luke, you adorable boy. This is so exciting! I promise not to interfere. This is your day. I'm only coming along for moral support."

"Just what we need, Mrs. Jade. Welcome aboard."

"Mr. Jade couldn't come. He's out on a job."

"Oh? That's too bad."

"You never know with him. He changes his mind on a dime. He may surprise us and show up. "

"That's good to know." He is in the driver's seat. He puts on hi s sunglasses at stares at Mara through the dark lenses. She playfully nudges him with her shoulder.

They arrive at the trendy place where Leia enjoyed her wedding planning experience. Ingeborg the blond receptionist is still there. She greets them as soon as they walk through the doors.

"Goddag på dig!"

Luke announces his arrival.

"Good day. How are you?" This elicits a blank stare from the statuesque beauty. Luke realizes she barely speaks or understands one word of Basic. He believes that if he just announces his name, she will figure it out.

"We have a 10 o'clock appointment. The name is Skywalker and Jade.

"Ahso...Ja...Ja...Skiwalker et Jadeh...okay...okay." She speaks into the ultra modern headset. "Hallo, Vi har gäster! Ja...ja...Skiwalker et Jadeh.." She looks across her reception desk as she sits in her chrome and ivory leather stool. She nods to Luke and Mara "Roulf come soon…Ja...ja...okay." She steps from around her desk and leads them to one of the meeting salons.

"Skulle dig lika Coffe, tea, en coctail, spritz?" Luke defers to Mara and her mother. Maggie goes first.

"Can I have a mimosa?"

"Mimosa?"

"Yes! Mi-mo-sa! You know, the pretty drink in the fancy glass?"

Mara is embarrassed.

"Mom, she's not hard of hearing she just doesn't speak Basic…I don't think."

"Oh…well how do I get a mimosa out of her?"

Mara smiles and speaks to Ingeborg.

"She will have champagne cocktail and I…" She points to herself. " …will have water…please."

"Ah….mi-mo-sa…champagne cocktail. Okay…" She looks at Luke.

"Oh…just water, thanks."

"Okay."

She leaves them. Mara and her mother marvel at the place. They step back out of the room to view the atrium then return to look at the room. Luke hangs back feeling their excitement. He is more like his father in his impressions of the place. It is somewhat ostentatious but It is designed like this to get everyone in the mood for the special event.

Maggie reacts like a child in a sweet shop.

"Oh…Mara…honey, just look at this place. It's gorgeous. Look at all of these bouquet samples. They smell beautiful. You know, you could get married right here."

"I know you too well, you're serious."

"But look around, the furniture, the walls…it's so elegant."

"It is pretty, Mom."

Luke zones out into Jedi wonderland as they chat. A server enters the room and servers the beverages. Another server enters with a tray of hors d'oeuvres. Of all shapes and flavors. The Endor smoked salmon with the caviar and crème fraîche turns out to be a favorite. A small tent card written in gold gives the name of the caterer and the price. Luke got the heads up from his father about the cards. He did not want Luke to get ambushed the way he did when Leia and Isabel dragged him along the last time. Luke is grateful. He casually peeks at the card:

'_**Assorted pre-reception hors d'oeuvre: $15.00 per person'**_

Luke thinks to himself, _"Geez, a sandwich at Dex's Diner costs less."_ On the other hand, these appetizers are a veritable work of art. You'd never find these in his diner.

While Mara and her mother continue to marvel at the place, someone enters the salon.

"Oh! Gut morning everyone! The famous Skywalker family is here again! And in less than a year! I've got to tell you this is so thrilling. The brother and sister wedding in one year…not to each uzzah but you know vaht I mean, schatz." He turns to Mara. "You must be der blushing braut! I remember you. Look at you…Turn around. Shake your hair dahling! So petit with an appetite of a nexu. Aren't you adorable?"

"Hello."

He sees Maggie Jade holding her mimosa and smiling.

"Oh mein gott! Wast hast we here? I am seeing dopple no? Two rothaarige…call das fire department; we have a five-alarm! You look so festive!"

"Thank you."

"So, I am asking, who are you meine dahling?"

Maggie gushes as if she is on a game show poised to win millions in credits and prizes.

"I'm the mother of the bride! Maggie Jade. How do you do, sir; I heard you give such regal advice. I'm so excited to meet you! We met very briefly at the Leia Skywalker's wedding, you know."

"Ahh…ja…I remember you. Taking photos of everybody… get in photos…you were a very naughty girl but I like you. You are enthusiastic! I like that! Und you know vaht? Just for bringing good team spirit, I'm going to give you and our little spitfire here, a mutter-daughter machover."

Maggie looks confused.

"Mock who?"

"Machover, machover…so you look beautiful at der wedding, dahling."

Maggie giggles nervously.

"Oh…okay!"

Roulf looks to Théo.

"Vaht do you sink, Théo? We can make them _fahbuluss_, no?"

"Oh, definitely. I see potential in both of them."

"Oh, this is going to be so much fun! Another fahbuluss adventure und another fahbuluss wedding! I'm getting flustered and a bit misty.

Théo whips a silk handkerchief from his pocket and dabs his eyes.

"Me too, Roulf."

Mara is taken by surprise. She makes a face as she glances at Luke. Luke breaks into a smile and shrugs his shoulders. Suddenly the two hosts compose themselves. Roulf claps his hands to get everyone's attention.

"Ambiance! We need wedding ambience! Smell zaht?" He sniffs the air. "Isn't it fabulous? It ist der smell of a wedding day with all der angst, fear und excitement zaht makes der day so special. I love it!"

Real gold flakes trickle from the ceiling like snow. A fine mist flows from vents in the wall.

"Hast everyone had champagner? We must be thinking 'wedding' from ziss moment on. Théo, are you getting forgetful? Everyone must have champagner. Bring champagner! Théo, sometimes you get too emotional, schatzi und you forget why we are here. You must learn control. Don't fall apart until der wedding, achkay?"

"I'm sorry…it's coming. relax…you are so fussy this morning."

"I am not fussy…You are forgetful. I am a perfectionist…besides; I have an excuse. I didn't get much sleep last night. Look at the bags unter meine eyes! Planning zaht horrid Tagge wedding kept me awake."

He examines the large-jeweled cufflinks on his crisp white ruffled shirt. He adjusts the ruffles on the cuffs. Théo flails his arms in the air as he turns to Roulf.

"You need to calm down."

"You are right, Théo. I do apologize."

"Apology accepted."

"Thank you, schatz. Achkay…hurry wiz der champagner…schnell, schnell!"

"I'm going…I'm going."

Théo disappears for a moment. Roulf sees Luke.

"Achkay, now, Prince handsome…" He looks at Luke and waves his hand in the direction of the chair and points. "…you sit back und relax; I'll get beck to you in a moment. Speaking of handsome, how is your fahdar doing?"

Luke is confused. He hesitates for a moment.

"Oh, he's fine…thanks."

"Gut! He was so much fun last time. He said he wanted to put his hands around mein neck but he never did….He is such a tease!"

Théo returns with an ice bucket filled with champagne and flutes.

"Oh, gut, you're back. It's about time. Everybody gets a glass. Now, let the planning for the Skywalker und Jade wedding officially begin! Prosit everyone! Achkay, Mara, and how many fahbuluss people are you inviting to your wedding?"

Mara puts down her glass.

"From my family or together?"

"Togehtah, dahling." Roulf keeps looking at her hair. "Tell me, ist zaht your natural color?"

"What? Oh, yes…why?"

"It's so rich and vibrant…anyway….Let us focus on your day." He makes an effort to stop focusing on her hair. "What is your fantasy wedding? Your application says spring wedding. Let's think spring, dahling. Tell me vaht you see."

"I see people…"

"Well, I hope so, dahling…vaht kind of wedding would vee haf?...go on." He giggles as he turns to whisper to Théo. "She's so cute. I have so much work to do vist ziss one….hold my calls and tell my Pilates instructor I will be late today." He smiles at Mara and urges her on. "Continue, Schatzi."

"I see a cake…family…" She turns to Luke and gently places her hand on his. They smile at one another lovingly. "…my fiancé…"

"Achkay, enough goo-goo eyes…vaht colors do you see? You are wearing white, ja? Achkay, vaht vill der braut mädchen wear?"

"Ooh…I don't know…I have several ideas…"

Maggie Jade is excited to participate and tries to coach her along.

"Silver. I thought you wanted Silver and wine."

"No I didn't…did I?"

Roulf turns to Mara.

"Did you, schatzi? Because, let me warn you right away; the wine color theme…clashes with your hair, dahling. Und it ist nicht zoh spring-like."

"But I have a color scheme …sort of…"

"Tell me, schatzi. Tell your _'Uncle Roulfi'_."

"I was thinking of green and violet."

"Green and violet? Dahling, ziss ist not a rehearsal for a Dracula film. I don't do zaht. I do fahbuluss weddings. You let me figure out your color scheme, meine schatz."

"But…I was sort of set on those colors."

"Trust me, dahling, no one is set on that color combination. Whoever told you zaht ist not your friend. Shay are insanely jealous of you or something crazy like zaht."

Maggie Jade is eager to add her two cents.

"He's right, sweetie. Listen to his wise advice."

Mara gives her mother a look of disbelief. She is thinking this was a big mistake to bring her along so early in the planning. Luke is another one she is ready to choke. He is sitting in a self-induced trance. He holds his champagne glass, eyes closed as if in deep meditation. He wants to be left out of this for as long as possible. She sees he is going to be no help right now. Roulf continues.

"So, how many gasts are you expecting, honig?"

Mara is hesitant to answer. She has never been at a lost for words or afraid to speak. She feels as if she is back in Garm Bel Iblis Private School giving the wrong answer to the teacher. She looks at Luke once more before she responds.

"What?"

"Gasts! Gasts! Pardon me…._ 'guests.' _How many people do you want to invite to ziss 'grun und purple' cookie monster gala?"

"Oh! About 300, I think…between the families." She waits for Luke to help her on this. "Luke?"

Luke pops out of his trance.

"Oh…yeah….sure…three to four hundred…sounds about right."

Maggie Jade interjects.

"Honey, don't forget your great uncle Zito and your Aunt Pancetta. They gave you that nice dress for your Padawan graduation."

"Oh the dress for a twelve-year old? She hasn't realized that I'm grown up, mom. And isn't Uncle Zito in jail on Geonosis?"

"I know but she's got money saved up for when you get married. And don't worry about your uncle. He's going before the Imperial Parole Board in two months…you never know…if he doesn't get out, at least he'll know you thought about him."

Roulf listens to this conversation.

"Maggie, dahling, if ziss 'Uncle Zito' cared at all for our little Mara, he would have stayed out of prison. We send him a hologram of der braut und groom cutting der cack. So, now we move on. Speaking of der cack, what ideas do you have, Mara?"

"Oh, well…I like chocolate, also lemon…rum cake is good, but I also like nocciola…"

"Achkay…I get it…you like everything. Wake up, Prince Charming. We need you now. Do you have a favorite cake?"

"I like cake. With fresh fruit…but I'm flexible. It's up to Mara."

"Oh, I sure have my work cut out for me. You two are a mess. Did you just meet each uzzah last week? No matter, you are both clueless, but not to worry. You are adorable und charming und Roulfi will take good care of you bose. I promise…"

There is a bit of a commotion outside. Ingeborg hurries in to alert Roulf.

"Roulf, Vi har gäster! Vic Jadeh."

"Lady, I don't understand a word you're saying. I'm here to see my daughter!"

Mara turns to see her father following the receptionist into the room.

"Daddy?"

"Hi, cupcake. Hello, Luke."

Maggie stands and pulls Vic into the private salon.

"Vic! Come on in! We thought you'd never get here." She gives him a kiss on the cheek and brushes off his suit as if a stray fiber is on it.

Vic Jade walks in wearing a sharkskin suit, a blue and red tie, and dark shirt.

"Traffic is backed up on the Theed Expressway. I had to change at Dex's Diner. How do I look? Wow, this place is snazzy. We could have the wedding here."

"Vic, this is Roulf, he does the weddings to all the big stars and society people. He's going to help us plan Luke and Mara's wedding."

"Hey, How you doin'?"

"Fahbuluss! Now we have der mutter und der fahzah of der braut together! You missed all der excitement. I was just about to send everyone on their way. But you have come just in time for Théo to take a holograph of der family. Ingeborg, give der fahzah of der braut a glass of champagner."

"Godkännande!"

Vic nods to the statuesque blonde beauty.

"Whatever you say, chickie." He leans over to whisper to his wife. "What's she say? Did she say she's got knock knees?"

"I don't know, Vic, just drink."

Roulf gets everyone in position for the holograph.

"Achkay everybody, strike a pose!" He looks at Vic Jade. Achkay, Mr. Goodfella, stand next to your future son-in-law. Smile everyone! Parfakt! Achkay, Luke und 'spirit girl.' We make an appointment to meet again, Achkay?"

"Okay."

"We need to help you get the parfakt dress. Mr. Jade, we are going to make your daughter into a parfakt braut."

"That's what we expect."

"If I may say so, I am der best in der galaxy."

"That's what I hear. My wife has been talking about this place since the last Skywalker wedding."

"She ist enthusiastic."

"That's my Maggie."

"Well, I will say goodbye now. Théo will see you out."

They shake hands. Luke and Mara are the last to leave as they check with Ingeborg for their next appointment. Once they are outside, Vic turns to Luke.

"Hey, Luke, how about you and Mara join me and the wife for lunch at the Mon Calamari Grill?"

"Thank you. I wish I could, Mr. Jade but I have to be at the Jedi Temple after this. I'd be happy to take a rain check."

"Okay…next time. Don't me shy…you'll be in the family soon. Mara, cupcake, you joining your mom and me for lunch?"

"In a minute. I just have to speak to Luke for a minute. I'll meet you there."

Mara heads to Luke's speeder. Luke holds open the door for her. She pokes him in the stomach. He grabs his stomach.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"You could have been more help in there."

"He told me to sit back and be quiet. I don't even know what I was doing there. It was a waste of time. That was more for the benefit of you and your mom." He closes the passenger side door.

"Well you could have helped me with the cake part."

"Mara, I'm fine with anything you select. I'm not too hard to please…at least I hope not."

"Humph…fine. Well, we had better get a number together for the guest list. At least help there."

"You'll get it!

"I better!"

"You will."

"Alright then. See you later after your Council meeting."

"I promise. I love you."

"You'd better if you know what's good for you."

They kiss. Mara goes to catch up with her parents.

Luke gets a call from his father as he drives to the Jedi Temple.

"Yeah, Dad?"

"Luke…son…How did it go this morning?"

"That guy asks a lot of questions. I thought all I had to do is sit back and relax but He wants us to have this big game plan."

"Did you zone out like I told you?"

"Yeah but it didn't last long. Oh, he asked about you"

"Who?"

"Roulf."

"Why?"

"He said he was quite impressed by you and he was excited about meeting you again."

"He's a nut."

"Ha! Yeah…but all the brides love him. So…what's the real reason you called?"

"Are we still on for dinner tomorrow?"

"Of course. I wouldn't miss it."

"Great…oh crap."

"What's wrong?"

"A call is coming in from Shady Acres."

"Oh no…he's probably complaining about the soup again."

"That was last week He's been leaking stories to the press that I've abandoned him and he's been left to starve. I'm going to stop by this week to see what his problem is."

"He's just lonely, Dad."

"He's going to be really lonely if he doesn't shape up. He's giving everyone a tough time, his nurses, his doctors…He's mad at his director for recasting his part in the play. He threatened his agent. Listen, we'll talk later."

"Okay, Dad."

Anakin hangs up and heads out of his office. Gladys is on a call when he speeds pass her. She sees him from the corner of her eye. The Dark Lord does not get far when she calls him back. She is still on her phone call.

"Admiral, I assure you he has you at the top of his list….He's…he's not available right now…" She sees Anakin waving his hands wildly and nodding his head 'No'. Gladys continues speaking to Admiral Motti. "Admiral, I promise to get him to sit down with you by the end of the week…I'm sure there are colder places, Admiral…well, how about this? I will put you on his calendar right now. How does that sound? Good. Everyone's happy…Tomorrow at two. You have a good day, sir. Thank you." She hangs up and calls Anakin who is fuming that she has put Admiral Motti on his calendar. "Anakin, stop pouting. It seems that General Solo has sent Admiral Motti's ground troops on an unauthorized mission on Bespin."

"Well tell them to work it out. Why should I be involved? I've got things to do."

"You're going to meet with the Admiral tomorrow."

"Your attitude is quite disturbing. Are you sure your feelings on this are clear?

"Crystal."

You do know that I'm your boss, don't you?"

"It's not easy to forget."

"Don't think that just because you took a three year cruise across the galaxy you can flaunt your new-found free-thinking ways in my office."

"I wouldn't be so bold, sir. And, it was three weeks."

"What?"

"You said I took three year holiday. It was three weeks."

"Earth time."

"You're just making that up, Anakin."

"You're determined to win this conversation, aren't you?"

"I haven't lost one yet. Where are you going?"

"Call my wife. Tell her I'm picking up the kids."

"Yes, sir."

"We're not finished with this discussion."

"Have a good afternoon, sir. See you in the morning."

Anakin leaves the office. He stops by the Jedi Temple to pick up Li-An and Alex. Since Ana-Lena only spends half a day there, he must drive over to Garm Bel Iblis Private Elementary School to retrieve her. He stops by his in-laws to pick up Kris. With his precious cargo secured into their seats, he drives across town.

Alex looks out the window and notices that the signs on the expressway for South Coruscant are pointing in the wrong direction.

"Where are we going, Dad? Home is that way." He points to the exit leading to home. "We're leaving the city."

Li-An thinks for a moment.

"Oh, I know where we're headed."

Ana-Lena looks out the window.

"I do too. Daddy, does Mommy know?"

Li-An laughs.

"Dad doesn't want to get yelled at. Oh, Dad, Master Durron wants you to sign this." He slips a small envelope containing a data card over the front seat. Anakin sees it out of the corner of his eye.

"So help me, Li-An, if you're in trouble again…"

"It wasn't my fault. You always think the worst of me. I kid could get a complex with all the emotional baggage you put on us."

"I'll deal with you when we get home. Sit back in your seat."

They arrive at their destination twenty minutes later. Anakin pulls the YUV into the visitor's parking bay. He unloads the vehicle. He carries Kris while the other children follow close behind. They enter the building. An attendant at the security desk looks down.

"Excuse me, sir, but you can't bring all those children in here."

"Why not?"

Anakin waves his had across her face. The attendant begins to explain but something happens mid-sentence.

"They'll make too much noise and disturb the patients…..welcome! Go right on up."

Anakin walks pass the visitor's desk with his brood. The children giggle softly at their father's little mind trick. They walk into a dark, quiet room. One wall is dark with a big window and stars twinkling in the distance. It resembles his old throne room on the now destroyed death star.

"Hey! Gramp Palps! It's us! Did you miss us?"

The old man turns his head and sees the four children. A smile creeps across his face.

"Oh, my angelic grandchildren!"

Li-An almost laughs.

"We'll accept that."

Alex agrees but reminds him of something.

"You called us little monsters the last time."

"Oh, you children take things so literally. So, you've finally come for a visit. How nice. I think I'm healing faster already."

Li-An looks around.

"Why is it so dark in here?"

A nurse walks in the room and tries to rip the large shade from the frame. It rolls up to the top lopsided and halfway off the hinge. A streak of sunlight fills the room.

"Yeah, why is it so dark in here? Mr. Palpatine, I told you this shade is not permitted in this facility. I'm having the attendants remove it. Don't try to have it installed again."

"Witch."

"Excuse me? What did you call me?" She leans in over his bed.

He shields himself using his cast-covered arm and talks back to her.

"You're an evil and twisted bat."

"Don't you get sassy with me or I'll withhold your visitor's privileges. You old coot!"

The children watch with glee as the two battle it out. Anakin is in such shock at this exchange he almost laughs. It seems the old Sith is creating enemies at every turn. Palpatine continues his spat with the nurse.

"I'll hit you with my cane."

"You'll try. You want the restraints? I'll call the orderlies in here in two seconds flat. Don't mess with me. This is the Shady Acres Nursing Home and I'm in charge. You're in my house now!" Her threatening expression softens when she sees the children. Her scowl turns into a warm smile. "Awww…aren't they precious! These sweet, innocent children are here to visit your sorry ass." She leans over to speak to them. "You stop by the nurses' station and Nurse Florence will let you play with the remote bed controls."

Alex looks up at the nice woman.

"Who's Nurse Florence?"

"Why, I am, honey! You call me if he makes any trouble for you."

"Okay."

Ana-Lena smiles as the nurse leaves the room.

"She's nice Gramp Palps. I bet she takes good care of you."

"Humph!"

Alex walks around the bed to examine the old Sith in traction.

"So, Palps, what happened?"

Ana-Lena is curious too.

"Did you fall out of bed?"

"Did a Wampa step on you?"

"Did you fall down a reactor vent?"

Ana-Lena notices his leg in a cast.

"Did you trip on some marbles?"

Li-An rolls his eyes.

"That's a ridiculous question. What would he be doing walking on marbles?"

"Well, I don't know! We've never seen Palps hurt like this. Palps, are you going to die?"

"Die? Who said that?"

Li-An calls the old man out on his many leaks to the tabloids.

"Ohh, I know…You've been telling the reporters that our dad beat you."

"Well! I said no such thing. Your parents obviously have been keeping the true nature of my injuries a secret from you."

"Yes you did. I heard Master Yoda in the Jedi Council break room discussing it with Master Plo Koon."

"Those old busybodies…Well…I may have exaggerated the truth a bit…"

"You lied. Boy, Palps, if we told a lie, we'd be in deep…"

"Your father would spank you?"

"No, we never get spanked."

Anakin pokes Li-An on the shoulder.

"What were you doing in the Jedi Council lounge?"

"I was on a diplomatic mission for the senior Jedi mentors."

"You're a part of the Padawan Alliance...and a traitor!"

"No I'm not. Kyp and Kyle sent us to get some leftover doughnuts from the meeting. Who's going to lie about that? Geez, Dad."

Palpatine interrupts them.

"Anakin, don't be so hard on the boy. I feel the anger in him. He will turn to the dark side…"

Li-An scoffs at the ramblings from the old man.

"What anger? Palps, it was a stale donut. I didn't go in there to take control of the galaxy. Calm down. Are you on meds? You're talking crazy."

"Forget it.! Why are you children so difficult?"

"Why are you having flashbacks?"

Ana-Lena looks up at the old man.

"Can I sit on the bed with you, Palps?"

"Why…of course you can. Come on…hop right up!"

"Are you _in_combobulated?"

Alex has a different opinion.

"No, he just constipated."

"I'm neither of those ridiculous things!"

Li-An laughs at his brother and sister.

"He might be constipated. He's sure is irritable, but I think he's just incapacitated. He feels lost and unable to fend for himself."

Anakin takes Kris and sits him on Palpatine's still aching ribs. Palpatine gives him a dirty look. Ana-Lena brushes the old man's silky white hair. Alex relieves the itching around his cast.

"How's that feel, Palps?"

"Oh…heavenly…thank you. Sooo…children…where is your mother? I thought she would be here."

Anakin interrupts him.

"For your information, she was here. She bought you those new pajamas and robe. You were still heavily sedated at the time."

"Palpatine sheepishly looks down at the pajamas he is wearing."

"Oh…teehee…A person can miss a lot when they're under sedation…and she dressed me…how nice."

"No…Tomo and Tiny dressed you. You have them to thank for that."

The old man is a bit disappointed.

"Oh."

Li-An sees an untouched tray of food.

"What's this stuff?"

"My lunch. I wasn't hungry."

'What's in it?"

"Red Felucia gelatine with fruit, some sort of vile shaak-like meat, Tatooine baked potato, and green beans."

"How is it?"

"It's alright…if you're starving and your own family doesn't care enough to sneak food in for you. What are you having for supper tonight?"

Li-An continues to pick at the food on the tray. He lifts the warming lids to check out each course.

"We're having roast duck with Okikuti rice, some green vegetable mom makes us eat but it's pretty good once she doctors' it up for us, and she's making some fancy dessert but I know it'll be good."

"You children are fortunate….while I waste away…"

Anakin has heard enough of his complaining.

"There's nothing wrong with the food you get here. They have a superior dietary staff."

"Then you eat it."

"I would but I'm having dinner soon. Li-An, stop playing with that food. It could be medicated."

Ana-Lena pats the old man's face.

"Are you saying grace, Palps ...Like you promised you would? There are starving people around the galaxy you know."

The nurse enters the room again and directs Tomo to remove the 'Death Star' shade. She sees the uneaten food on the tray. She looks at Palpatine.

"You better eat that food before I force it down your throat. The dietary staff doesn't prepare that food for fun. That tray had better be empty when I come back in here."

"I don't have to do anything you say."

"Oh, shut up." She leaves the room followed by Tomo who carts out the big shade.

Alex looks at the old man.

"Boy, she's strict. What did you do to piss her off, Palps?"

"Nothing. You know what? You kids should be home playing or doing your homework. Doesn't that school, give you take home assignments?"

"We're smart kids. We don't get homework unless it's something new…besides, what's the point of going to school if we have to repeat the work at home? I'm a Jedi; all I need to do is to follow the Jedi Code and look cool when I go on a mission."

Anakin glances at his son with a wary eye.

"What are you going to do when we get home?"

"I'm going to do my homework."

Palpatine adds his opinion.

"Anakin, it's obvious that my grandchildren are superior in every way to the dimwitted clods in their class. They should be exempt from such unchallenging assignments."

"And how much are you paying for tuition?"

"That's so unfair. You know I have limited access to my funds."

Nurse Florence enters his room again. She sets a carafe filled with water on the far side of his night table and out of his reach.

"Here's the water you asked for."

"I asked for that last night."

"So? You got it, didn't you? What the hell happened to your hair?"

Ana-Lena turns to the nurse proudly.

"I did it. I combed my Gramp Palp's hair."

"You did? It looks beautiful, sugar. Just what he deserves." She smiles broadly at the two clumps of white hair with colorful barrettes attached. Ana-Lena smiles and pats the old man on the head.

"Thank you."

Nurse Florence smiles at the baby who is sitting on the old Sith's chest. Kris is drooling on him and pummeling his face with a rubber teething ring. "Aww…isn't that cute…he's playing with his toys. What a sweet little baby." She rolls her eyes at Palpatine before leaving.

Anakin smiles.

"I think she's sweet on you, you old buzzard. Boy, you sure have a way with the women here."

Palpatine snubs Anakin. Suddenly, he has an idea.

"Anakin, why don't we get a change of scenery? We can take the young ones to the solarium. It's bright and sunny, and that battleaxe nurse won't bother us. Help me out of this bed."

Are you sure? Won't you fall?"

"Nothing can stop that now…but I have that." He points to a crimson titanium walker with a little black seat cushion and locking loop breaks. Li-An sees it and immediately rolls it over while doing a wheelie towards the bed.

"Here you go, Palps. Cool ride!"

"It does the job. Okay, let's go."

He gingerly steers the walker as he leads the family down the corridor. They sit in the atrium. The children run around the large enclosure, playing hide and seek behind huge potted plants. A few other residents are also in the area. An elderly woman stops by his bench. She is wearing a housecoat with big blue and yellow flowers. The woman is steering her own high-tech walker.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Palpatine. Whose kids?"

"They are my grandchildren."

"Oh, really? I thought they would be a lot older."

"Actually, I have two older grandchildren…twins. The ones you see here are much younger."

"Well, I can see that! I'm not an idiot, you old fool!" She calms down a bit. "Nice looking children. Sure you didn't steal them?"

"If I had a good free arm, I'd slap you."

"Shame on you for talking like that with small children around. Shame!"

She wags her finger at him wildly.

"Oh hush, they're running around. They can't hear me."

Ana-Lena pops up from behind a potted plant on the far side of the atrium.

"Yes, we can, Palps!"

Palpatine sneers at the woman.

"Big mouth old crone!"

"Sour-faced old goat!"

"Nosy bat! Mind your beeswax."

"Your son should have broken your other arm and hip…mean old miserable man!"

Anakin is disturbed by the lack of acknowledgement of his presence in the room.

"Hey! I'm right here! …and I didn't break his hip. He fell in the theatre."

"Oh yes, I heard about that…I apologize. He's been telling all sorts of horrible stories. "So, I suppose you didn't abandon him at an amusement park overnight without any identification."

"That's another lie. He hand identification."

He tells us all sorts of terrible things about you."

Palpatine tries to interrupt.

"Don't listen to her, Anakin. She's nothing but an old gossip. She's twists her stories all around, the crotchety old fool!"

"Who's the real fool? You told me you haven't the courage to speak up to your son."

"Shut up, you dried up old prune."

"Wizened old windbag."

"Helga, you're a fascinating woman."

"You're not bad yourself, Dantius."

"See you in the physical therapy room at four?"

"I wouldn't miss it."

The two seniors exchange a pasty-faced lip lock. Helga grabs her walker and leaves the atrium. Palpatine notices the look of horror on Anakin's face.

"So? A man's got to keep some semblance of a social life in this geriatric prison. Don't give me that look, Anakin."

"I think I'm going to be ill."

"This place is almost filled to capacity. If you're nice, I'll check with that battleaxe nurse Florence to see if there's an extra bed."

"That's okay; I'll have Obi-Wan wipe that portion of my memory away tonight."

"Oh….how is that panty-chasing old Jedi?"

"He's a lot younger than you are. Besides, most of the women he knows wear thongs. Your old nursing home companion can't get away wearing one."

"I'm sure she could, but she's modest. She respects the old ways."

"Give me a break! She's wearing granny panties over that diaper of hers."

"Anakin, that's an evil thing to say."

"Truth hurts, don't it?"

"So, how's that marriage going between Master Kenobi and Miss Bunny Lake? Did she leave him yet?"

"For the record, her name is Bunny Harrington Kenobi and they are joining us for dinner tonight."

"Whoopdeedo! So you have dinner guests."

"Shut up before I break your other hip."

"I'll scream."

"You think I'm scared?"

Anakin looks around the atrium. The children are still playing 'Hide and Seek' and a game of 'Tag' around the planters. They are chasing the baby. Kris giggles uncontrollably as his older siblings pursue him. His cherubic little legs waddling pass the elderly infirmed residents watching from their wheelchairs and benches. There is a sudden feeling of renewed life and a sense of peacefulness in the air as the infant passes them. Kris waits with breathless anticipation for one of the children to surprise him from behind one of the large plants. There is a gentle sound of water from the series of small fountains in the massive area. People who have not smiled for months on end are feeling cheerful. The feeling lingers as Anakin gathers his children to leave. Palpatine walks back to his room with them.

"Come along, children…Pip. Pip!"

The residents breathe in the Youngling voices as they fade out down the corridor. Palpatine is using his bad arm to open the door to his room; he is even putting pressure on his cast-covered leg. His hip feels virtually pain-free. Alex take notice.

"Hey, Palps, you're standing n your bad leg!"

Palpatine notices too.

"Well! What do you know? It feels good too!"

"You could prob'ly come home now."

"I could do that!"

Li-An taps on Palpatine's arm cast.

"So…you're gonna ditch your new old friends and your new old girlfriend? She's sort of a mess if you ask me. She'll never be able to keep up with you."

"I suppose I could visit the old crone every now and then."

"That lady who lives across from you in your retirement condo seems to be in pretty good shape. She's not wearing diapers. Maybe she could help take care of you. Her name is Blanche. I think she likes you."

"Oh really? I haven't noticed."

Anakin is less than thrilled as he listens to them. Palpatine gets settles in. He sits in the reclining armchair. Florence, the head nurse enters the room.

"You kids have enough of this place?"

Li-An looks up at her.

"We're going home soon. We have homework to do."

"I'm sure that ungrateful old corpse is happy to see you." She rolls her eyes at Palpatine. "I guess I'll change your bed linens now you old fool!"

As she busies herself with the bedding, Li-An leans over to speak to the old man. Anakin is standing outside the room on his cell phone. Ana-Lena and the baby are with him. The patient across the hall is on a heart monitor, which suddenly malfunctions. A couple of nurses look over at Anakin as they hurry to the man's aid. Anakin sees the big sign over the nurse's station. _**'No cell phones, beepers or PDA devices on this floor.'**_ He turns off his phone.

"Oops! Sorry!"

Li-An whispers to his grandfather.

"What about here, Palps? I think she kinda likes you."

Palpatine watches as the nurse leans over to smooth out the sheet on the bed. He checks out her _'assets'_ as discreetly as possible. Li-An and Alex smile.

As soon as the nurse is done, she looks at the three with suspicion then gives Palpatine a warning.

"What are you looking at? Don't say anything stupid. You old fossil."

She exits the room.

Anakin returns to the room.

"Okay, kids, let's hit the highway. Your grandfather has his therapy session soon and your mother will have dinner on the table. We mustn't keep her waiting."

"Okay…Bye, Palps! You're the man!" Li-An high fives the old Sith.

"I guess I am."

Alex is more reserved. He shakes hands with the old man.

"Goodbye, Palps. Feel better soon."

"Thank you, Alex." He stands and hobbles over to the door.

Ana-Lena curls her finger for the old man to lean over close. She gives him a kiss on the cheek as she wraps her arms around his neck.

"Bye, Gramp Palps. Don't forget to say your prayers."

"Okay, I won't."

"You won't say them or you won't forget."

"I won't forget."

Anakin rolls his eye and mumble to himself. "Got that right."

Palpatine looks over at Anakin.

"What was that, Anakin?"

"Nothing…just saying we've got a big night ahead of us."

"Oh."

The baby looks up at the old Sith.

"Pal-Pal."

"Oh, how cute; he's trying to say my name." He moves his face close to the baby's face. Kris is startled and cries. Anakin laughs.

"Sounds like he's making blaster sounds to me."

"Anakin, you're too cynical."

A voice speaks through the room intercom.

"_Is everything alright in there?"_

Palpatine rolls his eyes. He presses the response button near his chair.

"Uhm…everything is fine here…just the family saying goodbyes…how are you?"

He hears a click.

The nurse returns to the room to check on things. She sees Anakin holding the baby. Kris is sucking on his pacifier. There are fresh tears running down his cheeks. Nurse Florence looks at Palpatine

"Did you scare this baby?" She turns to Anakin. Just say the word and I'll take away his visitor's privileges."

Anakin smiles. He is tempted but decides against any drastic measures.

"We're cool. He's a tough little baby."

"Alright…Mr. Palpatine, I've got my eyes one you, mister. Oh, since I'm here, it's time for your blood pressure and temperature reading."

Anakin was about to leave but curiosity gets the better of him. He hangs around a few minutes longer under the guise of a concerned family member.

Nurse Florence plugs a thermometer into Palpatine's mouth then tightly wraps the blood pressure cuff around his arm. The reading appears.

"BP is 80 over 60 and your temperature is 78. Heart rate is 65. You're warming up. A little higher, you just might break a sweat, you old reptile."

Palpatine looks at her without uttering one of his vicious insults.

"You know, I don't even have an answer for that."

"I'm shocked. You're at a loss for words."

"Madame, I feel rejuvenated and at peace. I don't have a bad word for anyone."

Florence is suspicious but accepts his answer. There will be no sparring match between them this afternoon.

The children leave with Anakin. There is silence in the YUV after everyone is securely fastened in his or her seats. Anakin looks in the rearview mirror.

"Okay, Confession time. Whose bright idea was it to heal the old buzzard?"

The children sit quietly. Li-An shrugs his shoulders. Ana-Lena and Alex respond in kind. Anakin's eyes are now fixed on the baby seat behind him between Ana-Lena and Alex.

"We have some talking to do, little man."

That evening Obi-Wan and Aunt Bunny arrive for dinner. The children have eaten early and are doing their homework. Anakin shares the news about Kris's 'healing hands.' Obi-Wan remains upbeat.

"Well, Palpatine can't claim to be deathly ill anymore. Kris has a gift."

"Yoda never told me he was going to start healing everyone he meets. I was going to have him examine Kris again."

"For what? Anakin, he told you that Kris's powers would get stronger. He's on his way to becoming a powerful Jedi."

"I don't want him tapping everyone. I noticed that the patients at 'Shady Acres' weren't moaning in pain as they usually are. He didn't touch them."

"I think his presence has a therapeutic effect on them. Anyway, don't you want the old geezer to get well? He'll be back on stage and out of your hair."

Bunny agrees.

"Anakin, suge, you should embrace this gift. You worry too much. Why don't you stop by my salon? I'll give you a complimentary mint and lava rock aromatherapy treatment. It'll relax you."

Obi-Wan smiles.

"…Or you can always hold the baby against your head to relax the tension you're feeling."

"I don't need aromatherapy and I'm not using my infant son as a healing stone."

Bunny continues to push her beauty treatments.

"I've got some new men's fragrance samples I think you'll like. I brought my sample case with me. I'm trying to gain points for my 'Pink Madame Dormé Speeder'. All I have to do is sell another 4500 credits and I will have reached my goal."

Anakin almost laughs.

"Hey, Obi-Wan, can't you buy your new wife a speeder?"

"I offered to but she says she wants this Madame Dormé of Theed vehicle."

Bunny explains.

"It's not the same thing, Suge. Anakin, I want to win the speeder. They don't sell it. You can only get one by selling Madame Dormé of Theed Cosmetics. I'm on my way and no one will stop me."

"Is that a cry for help?" There is a sly smile on his face.

Isabel scolds him as they sit at the table.

"Anakin!"

"What did I say?"

"She's trying to say she is on her way to becoming an independent business woman."

Bunny nods with satisfaction that Isabel has clarified her rationale for wanting this special vehicle.

"See, Isabel understands even though she gave up her career. You know what I mean, Isabel."

"It's okay, I understand, Bunny."

Anakin looks at his wife.

"So, you're blaming me for you giving up your job."

"I didn't say anything! I was just helping you to understand Bunny's need to earn the speeder."

"So, you want to earn something?"

"This is not about me. I'm not the one who wants a pink speeder."

Anakin leans back in his chair at the head of the table.

"Bunny, listen, I've got more product than I need for a year. What if I write you a check for the balance you need. You can give the cosmetics to the poor."

"Anakin, Suge, that's so sweet of you but I want to sell to real customers."

Isabel explains to Anakin why this gesture is all wrong.

"Anakin, poor people need food, money, and clothing. What are they going to do with 4500 credits worth of spa cosmetics?"

"Poor people need 80SPF sunscreen...especially on Tatooine."

"They don't need eye shadow, or Felucia color-fusion lip gloss."

"This is about you not having a career anymore isn't it?"

"Oh my god! I said nothing of the sort. Obi-Wan take him out onto the terrace before I strangle him."

"Come, my friend. You're just a catalyst for trouble aren't you?"

"I didn't say anything about cattle." He follows Obi-Wan outside.

Later that evening, after Obi-Wan and Bunny have gone, Anakin stops by the nursery. He looks into the crib at his Youngling.

"Hey, kid, you've screwed up all my plans. I didn't want him to heal that fast. Now he's going to be a bigger pain in the ass than before. You'll see."

He leans over to kiss the sleeping child.

The next evening Anakin meets Luke for dinner. They opt for a new restaurant not far from the office. It would be a nice change from the Imperial Executive Dining Room. Besides, this is a special occasion. It is not everyday that the eldest son of the Dark Lord gets engaged. The restaurant came highly recommended from Han Solo. The hostess seats the father and son immediately. After ordering drinks, they get down to business. The evening starts with the usual toast over Corellian Reserve ale.

"May the Force be with you, son."

"And also with you, Dad."

"So, my oldest boy is getting hitched. How are the wedding plans coming along? Dare I ask?"

"It's alright. Mara's doing most of the work. I feel a bit guilty but you were right about zoning out. I think Mara and her mother will do just fine. In fact, I was thinking of letting the two of them handle the arrangements on their own."

"You mean ditch the whole thing before spring?"

"Well…yeah…I only need to show up right?"

"I was just joking about zoning out for the whole thing, Luke. You had better keep one foot in the door. Mara really wants you there. And if you leave it all up to the Jade family, the whole wedding could be a circus."

"Oh yeah, that reminds me…I was invited to a few of their family dinners…to meet the rest of _'The Family_._'_ Did you know that her uncle's in prison?"

"That's another reason you need to stay involved. That family is a train wreck. This wedding is something you're going to remember for the rest of your life. Do it the right way." Anakin looks around at the restaurant décor. "So, how's the food at this restaurant anyway?"

"I don't know. Han recommended it." Luke toys with his water glass.

"Oh, he did, did he? If this is some prank of his…"

"Dad, relax. It looks like an alright place."

Just then, a hostess approaches their table.

"Good evening, gentlemen, welcome to 'Palme d'Or'. My name is Pepimina. Are you ready to order?"

Anakin looks up. An attractive brunette hostess in her late thirties, dressed in red stands before him. Her face looks familiar. Anakin has not even glanced at his menu. He is speechless. Luke sees his father's face.

"Dad?"

Anakin blinks.

"Oh…sorry."

The hostess smiles.

"Do you need more time? I can come back."

"No…no…uhm…Luke, what will you have?"

"Uhm…I'll have the Petite filet and Kachirho Gulf Prawns"

"What side dishes would you like with that, sir?"

"Broiled tomato and steak fries, please."

The hostess turns to Anakin again.

"You having a little trouble deciding, sir? May I be so bold as to make a suggestion?"

"Be my guest."

"You look like a steak and cheese man. The Filet with blue Jundland cheese is excellent with tossed mixed greens and a baked potato."

"That will be fine…thanks."

"This looks like a celebration. May I suggest a wine?"

"It is a celebration. My son is engaged to be married."

"Well, that is reason to celebrate. A bottle of Shiraz 24BBY."

"Excellent year, sir. I'll have the sommelier bring it to your table immediately."

"Thank you."

"Congratulations, gentlemen."

The hostess leaves them. Luke leans over to whisper to his father.

"Dad, what's up?"

"I could swear I met that hostess somewhere before."

"Maybe at another restaurant a long time ago."

"Maybe."

A sommelier arrives with the very special wine. Dinner arrives shortly thereafter. The father and son chat and laugh about the nursing home visit with the children.

"Dad, admit it, you enjoy tormenting him."

"He deserves it. I think that place is good for him. He's a real hit with the women. His celebrity seems to attract those blue haired ladies like buzz droids. The nurses are younger. I personally think he's sweet on the head nurse. She torments him but I think he loves it."

"What a weird old man."

"Yeah…so, enough about him. Let's talk about you. You look happy."

"I am, Dad. Mara and I are a good match for one another."

"All of your grandparents are pleased with your choice."

"Opa wasn't for it…initially."

"He holds onto old stuff like the Plasma ball incident. You were just kids. Geez, I got into a lot of entanglements when I was your age."

"Yeah, but look at you now. You're a family man; you've got the respect of the senate and the military. People like you."

"But you've made better life choices at your age than I did."

"But you fixed your mistakes."

"After getting my ass handed to me on a platter."

"Let's drink to good times, Dad."

"To good times, Luke. You're going to have a strong marriage. I can feel it."

"You promised no mushy stuff. We're supposed to have fun tonight."

"You're right. Oh, did I tell you that your Aunt Bunny brought her 'Madame Dormé' beauty products to the house last night?"

"Uncle Ben told me as we were going into a Jedi Council meeting this morning. She wanted to do makeovers of the Jedi Council but Master Nejaa Halcyon wouldn't let her in. Yoda said makeovers only promoted vanity and was not a Jedi trait. To add insult to injury, she told Master Jocasta Nu she could make her look 50 years younger with her new wrinkle cream."

"Obi-Wan has no control over her. I'm surprised she hasn't hit Shady Acres yet."

The father and some exchange a knowing glance. A sly smile creeps across Anakin's face.

"We have the same idea don't we?"

"Aunt Bunny will get that pink speeder sooner than she thinks." The two men raise their glasses as they finish off the expensive bottle of wine.

"Great minds think alike, son."

"Thanks for dinner, Dad."

"Anytime, Luke."

The hostess returns to their table.

"How was everything? Would you like dessert?"

Luke looks at his father.

"Dinner was super. I'm good. How about you, Dad? I'm stuffed."

"I'm good. Nothing for me, thanks."

After Anakin pays for the check, he prepares to leave with Luke. The hostess smiles as she waves goodnight.

_"Rejoice in the memories, gentlemen."_

_It is not until Anakin steps out onto the sidewalk that he realizes where he remembers the woman. It was years ago, during a blind date Obi-Wan had set up for him. The woman's name was __'Pepper' __aka '__Hot Pepper'__ her stage name in the stripper circuit. She was the amateur fortuneteller who gave Anakin an equally amateur reading. It seems she saved all of her tips from her exotic dancing gigs to invest in this restaurant. It seems she made a sound business decision. _

_As Anakin walks with Luke, he turns and sees 'Pepper' standing at the reservation post. She smiles as Anakin passes the window. She waves discreetly then tends to her next guest. Anakin has a lot to rejoice. There are no regrets tonight._

Next: _'Da Two Families'_


	147. Chapter 147 The Jade Palace

_Chapter 147_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_The Jade Palace: Merging of Da Two Families'_

'_A'mad At Dantius'_

'_Surrounded by Saints'_

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

The months pass by with little incident. Isabel has forgiven her husband for his remark about her wanting a career. He senses a new wave of empowerment in her when she helped him out in the office while Gladys was on vacation. After a brief discussion, they considered the matter closed.

At the Skywalker home, the Younglings are growing like weeds. Kris is talking and playing with the other children at the Jedi Temple. Yoda devotes a three-hour session twice weekly to the youngest Skywalker _'to teach him control.' _Yoda is pleased with the results. The Jedi Master, however, must contend with the two possessions that the toddler carries with him at all times, a flannel Ewok receiving blanket and a 'Yoda' squeak-toy that he did not sign off on to the best of his memory. The baby hands it to the revered Jedi Master to squeeze. The little 'squeaking mechanism is located at the base of the rubber toy. It emits a grunting sound after the initial squeak causing the child the laugh hysterically. Yoda reluctantly entertains Kris with this toy during his lessons to get the results he wants from the toddler.

After a visit to the Jedi Gift shop, he pays a visit to the legal department.

Senior Counsel Adi Gallia agrees to meet with him. She tries to remain professional when he tosses one of the squeak toys onto her desk to make his case. She calmly folds her hands and leans forward on her desk.

"Master Yoda, what will you have me do? The Younglings love them. We can't very well take them off the shelves. The children would be upset…and let's not forget the parents. "

"Authorized this did you?"

"No, Master, however, as I look into the licensing documents in the computer, it seems that no other laws have been broken. They were produced by the Jedi Products and Supplies Division. Yes, you should have been contacted but they're well made right here on Coruscant and they're non-toxic."

"Satisfaction I demand. How can I teach young minds if this is how children see me they do?"

"How about ten percent of the profits and paid toy store appearances during the Befana Eve holiday shopping season?"

"Master Gallia, I am not a shill for the toy industry." He bangs his gimer stick against the marble floor of her office.

"Twenty percent on all merchandise bearing your likeness, paid personal appearances, and your own float at the 'Feast Day Parade.'"

"Where do I sign?"

Anakin is spending more time with the children. He declares two days a week as _'Anything Day.'_ The children decide on an activity and he has to participate…no matter how silly. He confides in his wife that he may regret committing to this event.

When Leia hears about this, she recalls her 'Anything Days' with her father when she was a child. It was right up there with _'Pajama Friday's_. She makes a request to have a special 'Anything Day' with her father. Anakin agrees. Leia decides they will have lunch. Anakin brags to everyone at his office that his daughter is treating him to lunch. Isabel smiles and folds laundry as Anakin beams about going on a lunch date with his eldest daughter.

"Bel, I'm going to wear that new blue silk shirt she bought for me."

"That's nice. She loves to see you in blue. It looks good on you."

"I know. I want her to be proud of me when we walk into that restaurant."

"Uhm…Anakin, you do know she's treating you to lunch at her place, don't you?"

He stamps his foot on the floor like a spoiled child.

"Aww…come on! Are you _'sithing'_ me?"

"Relax. I'm sure it will be nice.

"Did you know all this time?"

"Where did you get the idea that she was going to take you out?"

He wags his finger at her accusingly.

"That's not what I asked you. Did you know and when did you know?"

"I'm not on trial here, Lord Vader, and get your finger out of my face. Don't try your intimidation tactics on me. Your powers haven't helped you to figure out what in Leia's cooking."

"Don't get cute. Why would she have me over when she can't cook?"

"_She_ thinks she can. Go and enjoy. It's your company she wants."

"I'm going to make a stop before I get there."

"Why?"

"Provisions."

"Anakin, don't let her see you walk into her house with a bottle of antacid."

"I wouldn't do a dumb thing like that…it's insensitive. I'll buy the tablets in the little blister packs... they're less conspicuous."

"You're ridiculous. You foolish man." She smiles during his tirade. He gives her a smug look.

"Who's the more foolish...the fool or the fool who fools the…?"

"Anakin, stop before you hurt yourself."

During the stretch of time since Palpatine's stay at Shady Acres, Anakin's life is devoted mostly to the impending nuptials of Luke and Mara. Only a few weeks after the visit with Roulf, the young couple witnesses the official meeting between the two sets of parents.

Isabel and Anakin are invited to dine with the Jade family. This will be the first time the Skywalkers have been invited to dine at the Jade home.

The drive across town to the Jade home is long and tortuous as well as torturous.

"I don't know why we have to go to dinner with these people. It's not as if we were ever invited before."

"Well, first off, our son is marrying their daughter; secondly, they were probably too intimidated to invite us before. Put yourself in their shoes."

"I don't want to. I like my shoes. Why are we getting 'in-lawed' with these people? First the Solo's, now the Jade's. All in a year's time. I need to come up for air. What's next, someone with the Imperial Navy?"

"The Navy's nice."

"You think everyone's nice."

"Stop being so cynical."

"Where is this place anyway?"

"Turn up this exit to Hydian Drive and go straight until you get to Zonama Avenue."

"That can't be right."

The voice-generated GPS on the dashboard of Anakin's speeder confirms what his wife tells him.

'_Turn right next at the exit to Hydrian Drive…"_

Anakin turns to Isabel with one of his smug looks on his face.

"See? You were wrong. It said 'turn right to Hydrian Drive."

"It's the same…never mind."

Anakin gloats.

"Ha! You were wrong! Admit it."

"It's the third house as you turn up the road…"

He immediately interrupts her and waves for her to stop talking.

"I got, I got it. Who's driving this vehicle?"

"You are."

"And don't forget it. I've driven speeders and piloted ships since I was a kid. I know what I'm doing."

"Yes, your greatness."

Anakin looks at her.

"I do."

"I'm convinced you're a splendid driver, Anakin, it's just that you were supposed to turn up the road to the right."

"You're convinced you're right, aren't you? You're so cute when you think you know stuff."

He winks at her then keeps driving.

Twenty-five minutes later and another circle up the expressway, Anakin and Isabel finally arrive at the house with the blue shutters and a sign on the grass that says 'This house is protected by Tantive IV Security Systems.' The lawn is decorated with little ceramic Ewoks and a couple of plastic flamingos. They pull up to a parking spot.

Maggie Jade is in a frenzy that evening. She wants the first visit by their future in-laws to be perfect. She has been bragging to her friends for weeks about the event. Her favorite salon was privy to all the details. She treats herself to a manicure and has her hair done in her favorite bouffant style.

Mara stays up in her room, catching up on some much needed sleep after spending the past few days mingling at several Jedi Celebration parties. Luke greets senior Padawans as they prepare for their Jedi Trials. He feels odd being here. He was in their place just a few years back. He wishes things could be different and his father could be there to exchange views, and give sage advice to the future Jedi Knights. He would have made a great Jedi Master.

Mara has had her fill of these events for now. The Jedi Council gives her permission to take some time off while she plans her wedding. She starts to consider having her reception at Dex's Diner, no matter what the Health Inspector said about the place. A few critters in the shaak stew never hurt anyone.

Maggie yells for her sons to get ready.

"Vic Jr., hurry up in there; you can watch STV Arena Fighting later. This is Mara's night. Where's your little brother?"

"Gee, Ma, I don't know."

"Well go find him. I want him to wear that suit I bought for him."

"Okay, okay…get off my back, will ya?"

"Do this one favor for me and I won't bother you for the rest of the week."

"Mikey, ma's lookin' for you. Beat it!"

"Vic, you're a traitor and rotten brother. I thought you were supposed to be someone for me to look up to."

"Forget it, I'm the brooding older brother…I cannot help you and wallow in my own self-pity now can I?"

Maggie smiles and continues down the hall. She knocks on Mara's door.

"Mara, honey, it's me…Mom…open up."

The door finally opens after a few moments. Mara blocks the doorway as her mother pushes her redhead in the doorway. The fragrance of her flammable hairspray is wafting in the air.

"How are you doing, honey?"

"Fine, Mom."

"You don't sound fine. What's wrong?"

"It's great. Everything is great. You need to relax and stop interrupting me every ten minutes."

"But this is an exciting moment for you. The Skywalkers are coming to our home. It's Imperial royalty, honey."

"Mom, please. Luke and his family don't want us to make a fuss. It's just dinner."

"Okay…you're right, but why are you hiding out in your room?"

"I just need some time alone before they get here. All I want is a quiet family dinner so you can all get to know one another."

"And it will be…just you me and your father, your two brothers…Uncle Paulie, your cousin Frankie, Aunt Dottie, Joey, Mama Carmella…"

Mara is horrified.

"Mom! No! It's not supposed to be like that."

"Calm down, honey. They're still time to call everyone. I'll tell them not to come…until after dinner."

"Mom!"

"I promise they won't embarrass you…They're just so happy for you. Oh, one thing…Mama Carmella is already here…she's helping in the kitchen; but she's fine there. You won't hear a peep out of her. Everyone else will understand."

"Remember, you just gave me your solemn word, Mom."

"I know…Oh, dear! Look at the time. I should head downstairs."

Maggie quickly disappears. She calls back to Mara as she trots down the hallway in her shiny patent leather pumps.

"You look really pretty tonight, honey!"

Luke decides to drive to the Jade house in his own speeder. He wanted to avoid riding with his father. Unfortunately, they arrive at the Jade home around the same time. Luke turns and sees his Father driving up behind him. Luke walks over to him and gives Anakin a 'briefing' before they head inside.

"Dad, please be nice and don't kill anyone…no matter how much they may piss you off. Mom, you've got to rein him in."

Anakin laughs as he holds the magnum of champagne he brought for the Jade family.

"You talk about me as if I'm some wild child."

"Try loose cannon."

"I can control myself. Relax. All I have to do is to sit back and relax as Vic, Vince or whatever he calls himself to explain why it took so long to invite us over."

"But you never wanted to come over."

"That's not the point. I wasn't asked."

Isabel looks at her husband, hands him the bouquet of flowers in the crystal vase and adjusts his tie.

"Anakin, just behave."

"Yes, Ma'm. I'll be so good you won't have to use the tazer on me."

"Oh, good, I can never find it in this purse."

"What? You really have a tazer in there? Isabel! I thought our marriage was based on trust."

"Oh, Anakin, don't you know when I'm teasing you?"

"Oh, for a moment there I thought you actually had a tazer in your purse."

"Silly man." She holds her purse at her side and smiles.

Luke waits. Anakin leans over and kisses Isabel. Luke rolls his eyes.

"Will you two stop making out in the walkway?"

"Calm down, Luke! Come on, Isabel. Let's get this over with."

Luke slows down.

"You know what? Why don't you go inside first? …To break the ice…I'll wait until you guys get settled."

Meanwhile Maggie Jade does some last minute primping and makes another attempt to get her family ready to meet the Skywalkers. Vic Junior, Mikey! For the last time, get down here. Now!"

The doorbell rings.

"Vic, where are you? Come on, they're here!"

Maggie takes a deep breath then opens the door.

"Hello, welcome to our humble home. Please come in. I'm Maggie Jade, Mara's mother."

She poses like a smiling game show model showing off new living room set or luxury speeder. Anakin and Isabel hesitate for a moment before walking inside.

"I'm Anakin and this is my wife, Isabel."

"Hello, Maggie. Thank you for inviting us."

Anakin presents her with the flowers.

"Oh, they're gorgeous! Thank you! It's so good to see the both of you again. I'm so glad you could come. My husband is too. I wonder what's keeping him_… Vic!_ Let me take your coats."

"Thank you."

"Oooh, my blue dress matches your tie. We could be twins! Ha ha hah! I can't tell you what an honor it is to have you here tonight."

Anakin smiles. He glances at Isabel and shrugs as he smoothes his tie.

"Well, it is a special occasion."

"Yes…yes it is. Please, won't you sit down? Well, Vic is coming in with drinks any minute…Oh, Vic, darling…Vic!" She forces a nervous smile as she turns to them. "Appetizer?" Maggie presents a tray of miniature Stromboli and aged shaak salami and smoked Corellian mountain cheese. "Vic!"

Someone yells back at Maggie.

"What? I'm coming already! Cut me a break, will ya?"

Meanwhile, Luke is still outside. Some uninvited company is with him.

'_Oh, wow! Ewok gnomes! Cute!'_

Luke turns and rolls his eyes and releases a loud sigh.

"Oh, this is just great! Who invited you?"

'_Luke, don't let this Jedi Master thing go to your head.'_

"There's no danger of that ever happening, especially with you around."

'_I stay around to help you stay focused.'_

"That's Master Yoda's job…besides, I have all the help I need; thanks."

'_Touché, young Master Skywalker. So, shall we go inside? I'm anxious to see how your folks are doing.'_

"Far be it for me to stop you, Master Qui-Gon."

He is about to head inside. Luckily, Mara appears at the door as her parents give Luke's parents the 'grand' tour. Mara and Luke sit outside on the garden swing. Luke sits comfortably knowing his father has not strangled anyone…yet.

Back inside the house, the two sets of parents return to the living room to chat. Isabel looks around the room. It is filled with gaudy knick-knacks, holographs of school graduation and family vacation. A table in the corner is set up like a shrine to display Mara's achievement certificates.

"What a nice home you have."

"Thank you."

Anakin looks around as he tries to get comfortable in the plastic-covered sofa.

Vic Jade turns to Anakin.

"Thanks for the champagne. This is good stuff. We'll break it open later. So, how was the drive over? Hit any bad traffic?"

"No, I'm a pretty good driver. I think I was born with a built-in navigational system." He glances at his wife.

Vic Jade appears impressed.

"Is that right? Amazing. So…our kids are getting hitched…Small galaxy."

"Yes." Anakin takes a sip from his glass.

Maggie speaks.

"Your son is so nice to have around. He's so polite and so good to Mara. He treats her like a princess. Those gifts he gives her…nothing like I ever got from 'Mr. Big' over here." She nods her head at Vic.

Vic gives her a look that could kill.

"Maggie, you got plenty of nice stuff. What about that dishwasher I got for you on Mother's Day? Uncle Paulie spent the whole afternoon installing it."

"You can't wear a dishwasher, Vic."

Vic Jade looks at Anakin.

"You hear this? This is what I go through after doing something nice. Now she's looking for jewelry. I buy her jewelry. Maybe not as glamorous as the stuff Luke gives my Mara but I do alright for my girls."

"Well, you have two fine ladies. Mara is a sweet girl."

Luke and Mara finally enter the living room. Vic sees them first and wastes no time to bring his point home but he does it with a sense of humor.

"Well, she finally makes an appearance, little 'Miss Queen Bee' herself. She only comes downstairs when she hears Luke at the door. She's got no time for her family these days."

Mara rolls her eyes.

"Well I'm here now, Dad."

Maggie hurries over to give the young couple a warm embrace.

"Look at them; aren't they adorable? The engaged couple."

Luke blushes.

"Hello."

"Luke, you look so handsome."

"Thank you, Mrs. Jade. Hello, Mr. Jade. Thanks for inviting us."

"You're welcome, Luke. Mara, I hope some of this boy's appreciation for his family rubs off on you."

"Sure, Dad."

Luke greets his parents; pretending he has not seen them.

"Mom, Dad Good to see you! You look as if you're enjoying yourselves."

Anakin shakes Luke's hand as if they have just made a business deal.

"Son."

"Father."

They look deep into the others' eyes. They Force chat with one another for a moment smiling the entire time.

"_Behaving yourself?"_

"_Don't get cocky, kid."_

They finally stop shaking hands.

As Maggie continues to give the Skywalkers the grand tour of the house, Qui-Gon is taking an _'independent'_ walking tour of the home. He spots a floor lamp take doubles as a fountain. It is a gaudy replica of a famous Corellian fountain. He circles it with a big grin on his face.

'Pssst, hey, Ani. Get a load of this! It looks like a mountainside urinal with lights.'

Anakin does a double take. He looks amused at first, and then nods for the Force Ghost to leave. Vic Jade sees Anakin 'admiring the decorative lamp and walks over. Anakin pretends to be smoothing a stray lock of hair behind his ear when he sees Vic walking over towards him.

"Nice, eh? I bet you don't have one of these in your home."

Anakin nods.

"No….I can't say that I have…" He notices Qui-Gon still standing there. Vic Jade continues to talk about the lamp with pride.

"Got it during a trip to Corellia…did all the plumbing myself."

"No kidding?"

"As you can see, I have a simple home with a few classy items like this around the house. I have a discriminating eye for fine art too you know."

"I can tell."

Anakin sees Qui-Gon walk over to the window to look at something. The Force Ghost is not smiling anymore. He looks at a small figure on the windowsill.

Maggie is becoming increasingly annoyed that her two sons have not yet come downstairs.

"Mara, where are your brothers? They promised to be down here to support you." She calls upstairs.

"Vic Junior, honey? Come downstairs and meet everyone…Vic, Mikey…" She waits for a few moments. Her patience is short-lived. "Vincenzo Giaccamo Jade Junior, you get down here now! …and bring your brother with you!"

"Aw, Ma, do I have to?"

"Yes you do! Come down here, the both of you now!"

The Jade brothers come downstairs. They remind Anakin of two trusted-up Befana Eve roast ducks. Vic Jr. has not outgrown his Goth look; now in his early thirties, he resembles a washed up rock star dressed in his Sunday best. Mikey is a redhead like his sister and mother. He is a freshman in high school. His only ambition in life is to score 750,000 points in his favorite plasma ball game and astro-surfing in the plaza at the Imperial Military Headquarters. He used to enjoy skating around the Darth Plagueis statue until it was moved across town to the Shady Acres Retirement facility.

Anakin thought he recognized him. Indeed, he had. The troopers were constantly ushering the boy and his friends off the property.

Maggie introduces them to Anakin and Isabel. The boys are less than enthusiastic. Maggie invites everyone into the dining room for dinner. As she seats everyone, more uninvited guests stop by the house. The newest visitors are making their way up the path.

"I don't understand why we're here, Artoo. It's bad protocol to show up at someone's home unannounced and uninvited! What?... Master Ani socializes quite well. There's no need to spy on him. He's the perfect gentleman...from time to time. Where are you going? You nosy trash can! Someone will hear us, and then where will we be…oh, look, what a lot of food…They're having a veritable banquet!"

As he turns to Artoo, he notices that the little droid is no longer at his side. Artoo is at the kitchen window rising to his droid feet to get a better view inside. Threepio follows him, stands near some vines that have loss its fruit, for the season. He pokes his head between the prickly vines.

"Now what are you looking at? I know it's a kitchen! I'm just wondering who's preparing all that food. There must be ten chefs in there." Suddenly Threepio is startled by something he sees through the window. The person inside is frightened of him too. They each go running. "Aaaahhhh!"

Maggie Jade is preparing to sit at the table when an older woman comes running into the dining room with a wooden spoon in her hand.

"Help! Help! It's coming to get me!"

"Mama Carmella, what's going on?"

"The big monster. Giant buzz droid. It's eyes had no soul in them and it was glowing…gold fire…we have to locka the doors. Dio mio Santo Mundi." She genuflects then kisses the Jedi emblem hanging around her neck.

Vic Jade rolls his eyes. He gets up and checks the kitchen. He sees the floodlight outside the window. It is dangling from the socket. A few sparks spurt from it before burning out entirely. He returns to the dining room.

"Mama Carmella, why don't you stop cooking and have a seat. The heat is getting to you."

"But, Vincenzo, who's gonna cook? I got Shaak parmesan in the oven."

"I turned off the oven. Get in here and have a seat. We've got enough food to feed the entire Imperial Army. And stop covering the furniture with the plastic."

"I bought those for your fifth wedding anniversary. You no lika my gift? You're an ungrateful son."

"Ma? Sit!"

He ushers her over to the table. Anakin sees his own protocol droid running in the garden behind the hedges from his seat. He almost spits out the water he is drinking. He purses his lips.

Mara pretends none of this is happening. She averts her eyes as her parents try to get Mama Carmella settled. Vic Jade introduces the woman dressed in black.

"Everyone, this is my Mama Carmella…Mama Carmella, these are our future in-laws, the Skywalkers. Now you got a whole new family to cook for."

Mama Carmella's face lights up as Vic sits her between Anakin and Isabel. The old woman feels privileged. She looks across the table at Luke.

"Oh…this is nice. Oh, I remember this beautiful boy with all the long blond hair. What an angel! He helped me load three trays of lasagna into his speeder and drove me over to the parish fundraiser. What a nice young man. I keepa telling you, Mara Rosanna, this boy is a saint! Nice boys like him don't come from Iridonia. Those Zabrak boys were nothing but trouble." The old woman looks at Anakin. "She spent all her time with those terrible Zabrak boys. Ducka Mauli, Craulie Mauli and his friends. Good boys don't hava names lika that. Those boys were notta nice to our Mara. Boys lika that will breaka your heart. Looka what happened to them. Who knows?" She looks at Anakin to agree and elbows him. She then points to Mara. "This one is stubborn…gotta head like a Mustafar rock she does."

Vic has heard enough. He is exasperated and tries to calm her down. "Mama, please…"

"Imma just saying…Imma notta accusing nobody but Imma glad she finally listens…iffa notta to me, to somebody who's good for her…praise the Jedi saints." She clasps her hands in prayer and looks upward. Anakin looks to see what she is staring at and smiles.

Luke watches his father but tries not to smile back. He looks at Mara.

"Mara, where's your Aunt Carmella?"

"She's not here."

"Well, I can see that."

Isabel asks a question.

"So, you also have an Aunt named Carmella?"

Maggie responds.

"Yes, Aunt Carmella is Vic's sister. She was named after Mama Carmella. Mara was almost 'Carmella the third' when she was born but we decided against it. It was getting too confusing so we named her Mara. It's a shortened version of _'Carmella.'_"

Luke grins at this revelation. He whispers to Mara.

"So, you were almost Carmella Jr.?"

"Shut up, _Luca_."

"You lost out on the little black dress and thick stockings in your future."

"You're cruising for a bruising, Skywalker."

Luke sits at the table with a big smile on his face.

"Heheheh! Cute!"

Mara reaches under the table and pinches skin on the back of his hand.

"Oww!"

Mara continues eating her dinner.

Vic Jade looks over at Anakin.

"So, you're enjoying yourself so far, Mr. Skywalker?"

"Yes, thank you. This is very nice."

Maggie smiles. Vic continues to make conversation.

"See, we're a typical family. I'm just a hardworking man with a respectable road paving business and a wife and three lovely children…" He catches Vic Junior making a sandwich with the meatballs on his plate. "Vic Junior! Get your elbows off the table! We have guests!"

"Sorry, Pop. Maybe I need to go to finishing school like Mara. Ha!"

Anakin forces himself to make conversation with the Goth 'Son of Jade'.

"So, Vincent, your father tells me you work in Coco Town at the data chip factory."

"Yeah…just up the street from Dex's Diner." He takes a bite of his meatball sandwich.

Anakin puts down his fork and speaks to the brother with the pierced ear and shaggy dark hair.

"You like it?"

"It's alright….if you don't mind that you have a droid as your supervisor. Those droids are purposely trying to hold me back. I got nothin' else to say. " He continues to chew his sandwich.

Maggie Jade smiles nervously.

"Vic Junior is not much of a talker."

Vic Senior is annoyed with his son.

"I wish he'd talk his way out of this house."

Maggie takes a sip from her wine glass and smiles at her son.

"He needs time. Once he focuses on his goals, he'll be right on track where our Mara is now."

Vic Senior holds up his hands at this incredible remark from his wife.

"When? He comes from work, goes up to his room and plays videos all night or blogs to god-knows-who. What kind of social life is that for a grown man? He needs to get serious. He needs to settle down."

Maggie Jade caresses her son's shoulder and giggles nervously.

"Well, Vic, he hasn't met the right girl yet."

Anakin senses a presence in the doorway. It speaks. This is the voice only he, Luke and Mara can hear.

'_And, at the rate he's going, he never will. No offense, Mara.' _

Mara covers her mouth with her napkin. She tries not to make eye contact with Qui-Gon. She looks at the centerpiece in the middle of the table.

"Nice centerpiece, Mom."

"It is nice, isn't it? Luke had it delivered earlier today. It's the Saint Aayla Felucia arrangement. The card attached says its vibrant colors signify wellbeing and happiness to the home. The blossoms never die. Anakin and Isabel gave me that beautiful St. Aayla bouquet in the crystal vase in the living room."

Mama Carmella looks at Isabel.

"Honey, eat…you're wasting away. Have some more bantha osso buco. She's so pretty but she no eat."

Isabel smiles.

"Everything is delicious but maybe I should save room for dessert."

"Okay, okay…I maka you a nice plate to take home. There's biscotti and limonella tiramisu. You listen to Mama Carmella and eat. You needa to fatten up. Everybody on soma kinda diet. Mara looka like a tiny bird. I was her size once. It notta good. It's crazy! Isabela, you eat! Mama Mia!"

"Yes, Mrs. Jade."

By the time dessert is served, the doorbell rings. There are more people entering the Jade home, one after another. Mama Carmella watches as Uncle Paulie, Aunt Carmella, Cousin Frankie, Aunt Dottie, and Joey Bagadonats walk in. Vic Jade introduces everyone. Mara is not happy. She looks at her mother as if she has betrayed her. Maggie shrugs and nods mouthing the words, _'Everything will be okay'_ to her daughter. Vic is oblivious to his daughter's frustration as he introduces the relatives to Anakin and his wife.

"And this is my sister Carmella, Cousin Frankie, Uncle Paulie, and Aunt Dottie on Maggie's side, notice the red hair? This is Maggie's brother Sonny and his wife Costanza Senior. Here's Vic Junior's godfather Joey Bags."

Joey 'Bags' Bagadonats removes a wet cigar from his mouth. He extends a beefy hand and shakes Anakin's hand.

"Hey, how you doin' we thought we was being banned from da house because Maggie told us not to come over. You ain't too good to meet us are you, Mr. Skywalker? You came from humble beginnings just like us. We understand each other."

"Well, yes, I'm originally from Tatooine."

"Yea, I knew Jabba the Hutt's cousin Pizzelli the Hutt. We did some jobs together before he died in a boating accident."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, some troopers from the Imperial Coast Guard pulled him outta da water on Lake Anre. They found him coiled up in a bunch of chains. The police interrogated me for two days but they had nuttin'… "

Uncle Paulie signals for Joey to stop talking.

"Joey, he don't wanna hear about that."

"Oh…oh yeah…anyways, good to make your acquaintance. Hey, who's the hot babe?"

Anakin looks to his right as Aunt Dottie and the two Carmella's chat with Isabel.

"That would be my wife."

Joey shrugs then stuffs the cigar back into his mouth.

"I'm sorry, your Lordship but she's bootiful…she's like a hot angel you wanna make love to…Santa Aayla!" He bites the knuckle on his right hand and shakes his head. "You're a lucky man my friend."

He moves on to chat with other family members. "Hey, Mara, there's our little princess! Come give your Uncle Joey a hug! Luca! There's our boy!"

Vic Jade apologizes to Anakin.

"I apologize again. Joey gets carried away sometimes."

"It's quite alright, Vic."

Joey sees Mara's brother Mikey.

"Hey, Mikey how's my favorite godson?"

"You got me mixed up with Vic Junior."

Vic Junior walks over to his godfather Joey Bags.

"Hey, Uncle Joey. How you doing?"

"Who are you?"

"It's me, Vic Junior."

"Oh, you dye your hair again?"

"No, it's always been dark."

"Oh, yeah…okay…how you doin'?" He slaps Vic Junior on the back. "Got a girlfriend yet?"

"Nope. Still looking for a girl who likes me for me."

"Well, we all know that ain't gonna happen, kid. A woman ain't gonna respect you if you're still livin' at home."

His cell phone rings.

"Hold on for a minute kid." He flips open his phone. "Hello? Yeah…I'll stop by on the way home…I promise….okay, Ma…okay…two gallons of blue milk…got it. I love you too, Ma." He tucks his phone away. "So, as I was sayin'…" Joey looks around but Vic Junior has walked away.

Mara escapes with Luke outside. She is close to tears.

"Luke, do you still want to marry me? That's my family in there. We can't escape them…they're like Mynocks…they'll suck the life out of you."

"Well, that won't happen…besides, I'm marrying you. Don't worry about them."

"My mom promised they weren't going to come over."

"It's not her fault. Some relatives don't understand the concept of 'No.' Look at my grandfather. He pops over all the time. My dad knows just how to deal with him."

"I just want us to have a normal happy life together."

"We will."

"Promise?"

"I promise. You have my word."

They can hear her father inside saying a toast to the couple with the champagne that Anakin brought to the house.

"God bless Mara and Luke and welcome Skywalkers to the family!" Cheers can be heard following the toast.

"Oh, Luke, I just want to get away from all this…insanity. Hold me." She rests her head on his shoulder. The night breeze blows through her hair. She starts to feel better. "Qui-Gon left in a hurry. I thought he was going to hang around to observe my family. It's not like him to disappear like this. Your father didn't yell at him, did he?"

"No…he'll be fine. I have to speak to him next week."

"Why are Artoo and Threepio here?"

"Where?"

"They're sneaking down the parking bay."

"I don't want to know."

Back inside Uncle Paulie is trying to get the families together for a joint Jade-Skywalker holograph. Petite Mama Carmella looks up at Anakin. He is holding a glass of wine.

"Oh, my goodness, you're a tall boy. Look at you. You a good husband I can tell. You're a good father. Your boy is very nice. How many children you have?"

"Uhm…six."

"Six? No wonder your wife so thin, she gotta chase around children all day. Why you no give her a rest, eh? How many times you hava the sex? You non gotta control. I bet you're crazy man in the bedroom. You needa to control yourself. What a tall boy you are. What's with all ofa the sex?"

Everyone turns around. Maggie looks with horror as the old woman speaks her mind.

"Mama Carmella! Stop asking Mr. Skywalker such personal questions."

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Maggie. I tell you Mr. Skywalker…when I was a young married woman, I didn't let my husband toucha me for a year after our wedding and then another year after Vincenzo was born. I maka him wait. When he aska me for making love…I say to him, _'No...no…no!'_ You don't get married for to maka love. You getta married to cooka for your family and to cleana the house. He was a good man…My poor Giaccamo." She kisses the Jedi pendant around her neck and genuflects. "The Jedi Gods bless his soul."

Vic Jade rubs his head as the old woman goes on.

"Mama, go check the food in the oven before it burns"

"Oh! Dio mio! Santa Aayla!" She scurries into the kitchen. Maggie whispers to Anakin.

"I am so sorry."

"It's quite alright. I have an elderly father…I understand. She's just a lonely woman. How long has she been a widow?"

"Oh, she's not a widow…not yet. She caught him in a hotel room with another woman. He had a heart attack from the shock right there in the bed as she walked in on them wielding a paring knife. They're planning to be buried together. Their plot has been paid for since Mara was born."

"Oh…I see."

Everything is fine by the end of the evening. Mama Carmella hands Isabel a tray of food to take home. Luke and Mara pose with the family for a group holograph.

That evening, Isabel heads for the kitchen and puts the tray of food in the refrigerator. Anakin stands in the doorway.

"Hey, come on upstairs so I can harass you."

"Maybe I should avoid you for a year."

"You got a plain black dress and stockings in your closet?"

They laugh.

"With a few alterations, I could come up with something."

"That would surely kill the mood. Well let's go, your parents have the kids for the weekend. We're all alone in this big house."

"And I'm so vulnerable. I don't know if I can escape your clutches."

"Oh, I know you can't."

Isabel quietly slips out of her shoes then pretends to walk towards the laundry room. She quickly makes a dash up the stairs. Anakin is hot on her trail. She makes it to the top step when she feels his hand around her ankle. She laughs hysterically.

"You rat bastard, you cheated!"

"No, I didn't you're just not quick enough."

They make their way to the master bedroom. After an hour of romance, they lie in bed and talk about the evening at the Jade house. Anakin caresses her legs as Isabel laughs softly.

"Anakin, you should have seen the expression on your face when Vic's mother asked you how often you got laid. You almost choked on your wine."

"She's one feisty old lady."

"Are you going to take her advice?"

"Hell no! Mama Carmella's a crackpot!"

"Well, according to her, I should only be cleaning the house and preparing your meals."

"Hey, I had an idea…"

"Oh…no. I'm afraid of what's about to come out of your mouth."

"Do you think a woman like her and my father…"

"Anakin, even after all the horrible things your father has done, I would never wish that on him…on second thought…they just might deserve each other."

"You are cruel! Hah!...I knew there was a dark side in you." He sighs then gets out of bed and slips into his robe. "I'll be back. Don't go anywhere."

After making a stop in the refresher, Anakin senses something. She quietly steps out onto the terrace and slides the door closed. There is a chill in the night air.

"So, what's eating you this evening, Master?"

Qui-Gon turns to his former apprentice.

'_Did you know that I still have not been made a saint? Ki Adi-Mundi, the old pompous fool got his first, then Aayla and Mace. Aayla got a girl's Jedi convent school named after her and a nature center. Mace has his own statue in the garden of the monastery and, it seems he's got miniature figurines in windows all over town.'_

"Oh, yeah…the patron saint of home security, window glaziers, and window washers."

'_Yeah, I noticed you have his statue in your garden window. In fact, everyone in town has at least one of each. How did they get bumped up so fast?'_

"You have to be patient, Master. These things take time."

'_You can't put in a good word for me?'_

"I'm no longer a Jedi, remember? Anyway, what would I tell the Jedi Council and Enclave of Jedi Priests? _'Excuse me but my former master came to me and he's pretty pissed off for being overlooked for sainthood.' _I'm sure they'll drop everything and put you on the fast track to sainthood after that."

'_There's no need for sarcasm, Anakin. Anyway, your son is on the nominating committee. He said it takes time…something about performing three miracles or some such nonsense.'_

"Well, you had your answer, why come to me?"

'_I'm just looking for some loyalty here, Ani.'_

"You'll always be a saint in my book, Qui-Gon."

'_Gee, thanks, Ani.'_

"Listen, I'll mention it to Luke when I see him again. I'm sure the Council is considering you."

'_Maybe. It's not that I want to be saint even; but at least I want to be nominated.'_

"I know."

'_Hey, that was a whacky dinner tonight. That old lady is a handful.'_

"Yeah…"

'_That wedding is going to be something.'_

"I expect so."

'_Well, I'm going to let you get back to your romantic interlude.'_

"We'll speak again, Master. Goodnight."

As soon as Anakin turns to go inside, the specter of Master Qui-Gon Jinn disappears. Anakin returns to bed and immediately goes to sleep. Isabel covers him with the blanket.

Over at Shady Acres, Palpatine checks out of the facility and bids farewell to the other patients and staff. He is given a big sendoff. The administrator says he has never had a patient that he wanted to leave more than old Palps.

After his departure, Palpatine visits with his agent, attorneys, and the director of his stage show. At the end of a daylong negotiation, his contract is reinstated, and he is once again the scourge of the theatre district. His replacement, during his absence, Jonni Faytonni, is just down the block starring in a new musical parody 'The Death Star Cometh'. Palpatine gets wind of the production and decides to sit in on the rehearsals. He is quite disturbed by rumors that the show is a parody of the Reign of the Evil Empire. He sees the write up in _'Hilarity'_ - _The Top Media and Entertainment Source in the Galaxy'_

He frantically dials the phone in his dressing room.

"'_Over dramatic old hack,' _eh!_..." _How dare they write this dribble!" He speaks into the phone as soon as someone picks up. "You old cow, put my agent on the phone!...George…George…it's me, your little money maker….Oh, was that your wife? I apologize…she's a lovely lady…I was just caught up in the moment…What do I want? George, have you read the dailies? Well, if you did, you would know that that hack actor is trying to make a name for himself…on the tails of my robe…never mind. The bottom line is he's making a mockery of my reign as emperor. I want to sue. What do you mean I can't? You knew? What clause? Standard contract? Well…well…but…I cannot believe that….I demand satisfaction…legality or no legality…If I have to take this matter into my own hands I will. You're my agent…I know only too well that you are not my political advisor…well…if you feel that way. I will go on my own and you can't stop me."

He hangs up and screams outside his dressing room door.

"Elan!"

Elan arrives at the door eating a peanut butter and honey sandwich.

"Yes, boss?"

"Put that sandwich down! My life is in shambles and you're hanging around the food service table. Get my coat! We're going on a mission!"

"Where?"

"You'll find out soon enough! By the way, thanks for the 'get well card.'

"What get well card?"

"The one you never sent me while I was on my death bed. Come on, we're wasting time! I don't know why I spend so much time training you to be a good assistant and building up your self-esteem…it's not like you appreciate it."

He brings Elan with him to take notes. They arrive at the back of the theatre. After listening to part of the second scene of the first part, he storms up to the stage and promptly interrupts the cast. He grabs the baton from the conductor and taps it on the edge of the stage.

"Young man…young man!"

Jonni Faytonni turns. After doing a double take, he rolls his eyes and lets out a long sigh.

"This is a closed rehearsal. No outsiders allowed."

"I am _Not_ an outsider, I am Dantius Palpatine, former chancellor, senator and Emperor of the Imperial Galaxy."

"And…?"

"And I am stopping this play."

"Well, it seems you have...interrupted rehearsals that is."

"Well…okay then… as a former legitimate person of great standing…and holy relic, I command you eliminate such blasphemous scenes from your play. Imitating a former Emperor is against the charter."

"I never read any such charter."

"And that is why you must cease immediately. My I see that script?"

He takes the script out of Jonni's hand. He immediately begins ripping entire scenes, much to Jonni's dismay.

"Hey! You crazy 'Sith'! What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm taking out all the offensive parts."

"That's almost all of my show."

"You're very observant."

"As the star and director of this show, I am expressing my protest. You can't do this!"

"Of course I can! Don't be silly!"

Elan pops up behind Palpatine as he picks up the falling papers.

"Yes he can…and he just did! What are you gonna do? Ha!"

Palpatine turns and gives Elan one of his stern looks. Elan continues to clean up the mess. Palpatine yells at him.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm picking up the papers, Boss. You don't want to get a fine for littering, do you?"

"That's for outside, you moron!"

Elan starts to toss the papers back onto the theatre floor. He stops to read something on one of the ripped sheets.

"Oh…hey, boss…this is funny stuff! Look at this, _'The bungling master wrecks havoc through the galaxy while his drug addled assistant… tags along, cackling… like a… monkey-lizard…' _Hey! He's making fun of us!"

"Give me that, you twit!" He grabs the paper and tosses it to the floor, hitting Elan about the head and shoulders in the process. He suddenly smiles and looks at Jonni as if nothing had happened. "Well, carry on, Mr. Faytonni. Your little band of Jedi friends can't help you now. Come along, Elan, our work here is done."

"Coming, boss."

Jonni and the cast watch as Palpatine leaves the theatre. There are hushed gasps as the doors in the back slam shut. The cast looks at Jonni. There is worry on their faces. He smiles after looking around at the mess on the floor.

"What are you guys worried about? Cal, go backstage to my dressing room and print another copy for me off my computer please."

"Oh…right! Sure, Jonni!" Cal disappears backstage.

"Everyone else has a copy of the script. Like the old man says, 'carry on!'"

There is a sigh of relief onstage. The actors resume the rehearsal. Palpatine receives a restraining order several days later, preventing him from visiting the theatre where Jonni Faytonni is rehearsing his show. The old man is not happy. His agent suggests he focus on his own show and to end this feud immediately.

A week passes after that unforgettable dinner at the Jade home. Anakin Has lunch with Obi-Wan to tell him all about it. Obi-Wan has an opinion of course.

"Anakin, it sounds as if you had a wonderful time at the Jade house."

"I did actually. I didn't have to do a damned thing except be my usual charming self."

"My, you were on your best behavior."

"I was. I'm quite proud of myself."

The waiter arrives at their table.

"May I get you something from the bar, gentlemen?"

Obi-Wan looks up at the waiter. Without batting an eye, Obi-Wan makes his request.

"I'll have a cranberry juice please…on the rocks."

This elicits a shocked stare from Anakin.

"Wow…impressive."

"Isn't it though?"

The waiter nods.

"One cranberry juice…" He is about to take Anakin's order when Obi-Wan speaks again.

"Who am I kidding? Waiter, I'll have a double Caamas on the rocks. Thank you."

"Would you like the cranberry juice on the side, sir?"

"No…never touch the stuff." He sees the look on Anakin's face. "What?"

The waiter takes Anakin's order.

"I'll have the cranberry juice, please. Thank you."

"Very good, sir." The waiter leaves. The two friends look at their menus.

"Anakin, why did you call me for lunch today?"

"I miss you, Master. It's been awhile. I've been so busy lately. I don't want you to think I have been ignoring my best friend."

"Oh…Did you see the specials?"

"Ignore those. It's everything they didn't sell earlier in the week."

"Oh. Hmmm…Alderaan Stew and tossed salad…two for one…"

"It's not that great…too salty."

"The roast duck sounds nice…it's not on the special. Anything wrong with that?"

"No, it's fine."

"Okay…I'm having that. You're paying, right?"

"You're my guest, Obi-Wan."

"So…what's going on, Anakin?"

"Qui-Gon is worried that he won't be granted sainthood."

"Oh…I see."

"Has he come to visit you about this?"

"No…not me…but I'm not the one carrying all the emotional baggage."

"So, he never visits you?"

"From time to time but it's always about you. I cannot interfere. You must resolve this on your own."

"Will he become a saint?"

"Anakin, you know I cannot discuss this with you. The future is clouded."

"By what...the Dark Side?"

"Oh, Heavens no...it's clouded by the smoke from the election process. This matter must take its normal course. All will be revealed in the end...when the smoke clears."

"I hope so. Qui-Gon's making me crazy. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. He's coming to me as if I can help somehow."

"You know what you need to do, Anakin?"

"What's that, Master?"

"Go home and spend time with your children. Enjoy yourself. Moreover, for god's sake, Anakin, have a Caamas with me. I don't want to drink alone. People will think I'm an alcoholic."

The two enjoy a delightful lunch together. Anakin orders the Okikuti sea bass with warm seaweed salad and pommes frites. They order another round of drinks and have a happy conversation. Anakin doesn't think about Master Qui-Gon right now. He returns to his office after saying goodbye to Obi-Wan. He tells Gladys he is going home early today.

Today is Ana-Lena's turn for 'Anything Day'. They sit in the dayroom overlooking the garden. The weather is a bit chilly to be outside this afternoon. Father and daughter enjoy tea party with her dolls and Skippy. Anakin sits in the little chair and holds one of her dolls. He wears one of the bonnets she has decorated for him with flowers and tulle. There are lemon wafers and tea heated just at the right temperature so a child can pour it. Skippy happily wags his titanium tail. He is thrilled just to be invited. Anakin is quite comfortable sitting at the little table even though his knees hit the edge. This is his private time with his little girl. They look so peaceful and happy together. Isabel watches from the closed sliding glass door of the breakfast room. She smiles then leaves them to enjoy their 'Anything Day.'

_**Next Chapter:**__ 'Moving Forward'_


	148. Chapter 148 Moving Forward

_Chapter 148_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Wedding Promises'_

'_Moving Forward'_

'_Anything Day for Babies'_

'_Separated by a Blanket'_

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

The holidays and events come and go. Kris reaches a milestone as the family celebrates his first birthday. The house is full of relatives and friends.

Anakin has a full calendar for the holiday season. Between corporate luncheons, arguing with Gladys about the appropriate corporate gifts to give to clients and the top brass, office parties, and his annual galactic-wide holiday greeting to the troops, his schedule is daunting. Family comes first, however. He is just glad none of the other Skywalker children is old enough to cook and Luke prefers dining out. He just wishes Leia would take her brother's lead. His lunch with Leia turns out to be quite interesting.

After the initial disappointment about spending his 'Anything Day' at Leia and Han's home, Anakin drives across town to lunch with his eldest daughter. His wife reminds him to focus on the company, not the cuisine. He is tempted to grab a quick meal on the way over but Isabel tells him not to.

He arrives at the house with an empty stomach. The door opens

"Dad! Hey! Glad you could make it! Come on in!"

"Hi, Sweet pea. Can I still call you that now that you're a grown up married woman?"

"That name still has meaning for me. I like it." She reaches up and gives her father a warm hug and a kiss.

"I brought dessert." He hands her a thermal sac with a familiar label printed on it. Leia smiles as she grabs the bag and peeks inside.

"Felucia Black Raspberry Pie and Coco town Caramel…uhmmm…my favorite. I love Rex's ice cream parlor. Thanks, Dad. Let me take your coat."

He walks into the living room. She rejoins him after putting his coat away. Anakin looks around.

"Did you redecorate?"

"No, we have a new sofa. Like it?"

He runs his hand over the claret-colored velvet fabric. It is soft to touch.

"Nice. Why did you need a new sofa?"

"Han has a den."

"A den! What in hell does he need a den for?"

"He got the idea from you. He says he wants a place to hang out with his friends like you have, so, he took the leather sofa. I prefer cloth fabric to leather in my living room anyway. The leather sofa looks better in the den anyway."

"Hmmm….I suppose it makes sense…he does run with a rough crowd. Wookie hair doesn't cling to leather. And for the record, _Mrs. Nerfherder_, I don't have a den, I have an office, a study, if you will, and I use it for _important _business…not for entertaining rift-raft."

"Yeah, sure, Dad…Boba Fett, Commander Cody…they're all upstanding citizens. After all, Pod racing is serious business if you have millions of credits at stake, and let's not forget those late night weekend Sabacc games. Lots of work indeed. "

"I bring you good ice cream and you make attack me?"

She smiles as she continues to taunt him.

"Who are you kidding, Daddy? Everyone knows it's your sanctuary, especially after you got rid of that silly meditation chamber."

"You know that meditation chamber set off a buying frenzy. It's all the rage in the celebrity circles."

"Yeah…all the whacko. I'm going to put this ice cream in the freezer. Would you like a cocktail?"

"A cocktail? It's lunchtime. I never drink this early."

Leia ignores him as she opens the freezer door. She mutters to herself.

"Another myth dashed! Must be that imposter running around posing as the Dark Lord."

Anakin calls from the living room.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, Dad. Seems a lot of people running around town doing their Befana Eve shopping."

There is a confused expression on Anakin's face.

"What? Yeah…I guess. So…what's for lunch; dare I ask?"

He explores the living room and locates the wet bar. He scans the coffee table and shelves for that silly holograph of _'son-in-law nerfherder'. _It is no longer in sight. In its place, he finds a beautifully framed holograph of Leia and her father. He recognizes the image immediately. It was taken during that tumultuous time when Luke and Leia were barely 6 years old right after that ridiculous trip to Alderaan.

They went to one of those park carousels in Coruscant Imperial Gardens after school as a treat. Anakin and Leia were killing time waiting for Obi-Wan to hand over Luke after his Youngling training.

A holographer was taking snapshots of the children as they rode the carousel. Leia tugged at her father's shirtsleeve. He reluctantly agreed to pose with her. He could not refuse her after seeing all the other little children waiting their turn. His scar was still quite prominent and he was openly self-conscious about it. The holographer knows just what to do. He posses the father and daughter to conceal the disfigured part of Anakin's face. Leia's looped ponytail rests against her father's right cheek. To this day, it is Leia's favorite image of her and her father. He had forgotten all about this holograph.

He pours himself a cranberry juice then quickly returns to the sofa. Leia walks into the room.

"Oh, I see you located the bar."

"Cranberry juice. I'm not the boozer….that's Obi-Wan and that martini-guzzling, pompous father-in-law of yours. How is the old buzzard by the way?"

"Han's parents are just fine. We had dinner with them just last week."

"You went to Corellia? That as a long trip just for dinner."

"Oh, well…actually, Han's parents bought a condo here on Coruscant. We can see them all the time now. Isn't that great?"

"Peachy."

"Well, come on into the dining room. Lunch is ready."

"Oh, already? You know, we could have gone out to lunch. I don't mind showing off my eldest daughter around town. You didn't have to go to all the trouble to cook for me…really."

"Oh, Daddy, I know how much you enjoyed my cooking the last time you were over here."

"Oh, yeah…it was an unforgettable experience."

He follows her into the dining room. She pulls out a chair for him at the head of the table.

"Wow, what service."

She pushes him in close to the table.

"You're my dad. I wouldn't have it any other way. Comfy?"

"You sure have me in here tight. Is this so I can't get up and run from the table?"

"I don't care what you say, Daddy, you're not going to hurt my feelings by making fun of my cooking. I know I'm not the greatest cook, but I enjoy your company."

Anakin grins.

"See, I knew I was here for something other than your cooking."

Leia fills two glasses with wine from one of the bottles she received as a wedding gift. She lifts the warming covers from the plates of food. Anakin smiles like a mischievous child.

"You expect me to eat this right?"

"I went to a lot of trouble for you. I'm giving you something I know you like."

"It smells good."

"Of course it smells good." She raises her glass. Thanks for coming, Dad. May this tradition continue."

"I agree. Cheers, Sweet pea." He takes a sip from his glass then opens his napkin. Gee, Leia, this looks good. Your cooking is improving." He takes a bite of his food.

Leia smiles and begins to eat.

"I'm going to take that as a compliment. Sooo…tell me…what have you been up to? I heard about your dinner with the Jade's."

"Oh, it was an experience to behold."

"He told me about Mara's grandmother."

"Yeah….she speaks her mind. Poor Vic Jade, even he couldn't get her to calm down."

"Luke said she was feeding you?"

"Yeah! She kept force-feeding me as if I couldn't feed myself. You might have thought I didn't have hands."

"Aww…that must have been so sweet. Did she tuck your napkin inside your shirt like a bib?"

"You just can't help yourself, can you?"

"I'm just amazed that you were so well-behaved the entire time you were there. Luke said Mom was so proud of you." She pinches his cheek.

"Cut it out. I'm trying to enjoy my _haute cuisine_."

"Sorry."

"What's for dessert?"

"Ice cream."

"I bought ice cream! You're telling me that you don't even have anything to top off this meal?"

"Well…I made a pie."

Anakin senses she is not forthcoming with this information.

"A pie? Oh. What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing. I'll serve it ala mode." She quickly changes the topic. "Did you and Mom argue on the way to the Jades' house?"

"It wasn't an argument. We had a disagreement. Why? Did she call you on the phone whining about it?"

"Noooo…not at all. She never bad-mouths you to us."

Anakin smiles blissfully.

"Oh. Isn't she great?"

"Boy, you sure hate it when someone else takes the higher ground, don't you?"

"I'm a little stinker, eh?" He gives her another one of his brightest smiles. Leia points her fork at him.

"I see you stopping at the florist and bringing flowers home in your future."

"You Skywalker women are killing me."

"You love it. Sometimes I could swear you screw up on purpose."

"Not me."

At the end of the meal, he wipes his mouth with his napkin.

"So, where's this pie you made?"

"Oh! Yeah…I'll go get it…It sort of fell…in the middle."

"What? How does a pie fall in _'the middle'_? It's filled with fruit."

"Hey! It fell. It happens with homemade foods. Every dessert has comes out with a few imperfections. It adds character."

"No it doesn't. It means that you didn't cook it right. Bring the fruit crater in here. It's probably okay."

Leia brings in the pie. Anakin tries not to laugh. It looks like a Sarlacc. He watches as she cuts into the pie. It takes several whacks before she can get two pseudo-wedges out of the pie dish. She plops a scoop of ices cream over each slice. The ice cream looks as if it is fighting to stay on top of the wedges but loses its fight and sinks into the crevice.

"Oh…I see what you mean….Look at that beautiful ice cream…what a shame. Tsk, tsk, tsk."

Leia is slightly annoyed with him.

"Oh, here." She plops a damaged slab onto a dessert plate and sets it in front of him.

Anakin takes the pie. The crust crumbles like a box of Mustafar lava rocks going though the sorting tray in a Geonosian mineral factory. He takes a forkful in his mouth and winces.

"Ahck!"

"What is it, Daddy?"

"I think I broke a tooth." He rubs his jaw.

Leia is not amused.

"Are you serious?"

Anakin laughs.

"No, but it felt like it. What sort of crust is this?"

"Normal crust."

"This is _'not'_ normal crust. Crust does not crackle and rumble like an avalanche…except for this one..."

"Stop laughing."

"I'm sorry, sweet pea but I have yet to taste any fruit. I need some water."

"You're like a child. Li-An isn't even this cruel when he assails my cooking."

"Sorry."

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"I never see you anymore. When can a father torment his oldest daughter these days? You move away from home without warning…"

"I got married, you silly man."

"What was that, a quality of life change?"

"Don't be a smartass. You see me…not as often but you do."

He continues to pick at the crust. He taps it with his fork and listens.

"I think there's someone trapped in here." He makes a frail high-pitched sound. _'Help me.'_"

"You're having too much fun with this aren't you?"

"You know…we could recycle this crust and use it in the flowerpots as drainage chips. They're as tough as terracotta. We could use it in place of Carbonite. It's airtight and economical…"

"You just can't help yourself can you?"

"Come one, Leia. It _is_ funny, admit it."

"I just can't seem to get the crust right."

"You have more flour and berries left?"

"Yes, why?"

Anakin stands and heads for the kitchen.

"Come on, and don't you ever leak this to anyone in the Galactic Senate or The Imperial Military or I'll make your life miserable."

"What? Tell me!"

"I'm going to show you how to how to make the perfect pie crust."

"Dad? You? I…I didn't know. Perhaps I should have…"

"Oh, please…don't play dumb, your highness. I know my way around the kitchen. Who cooked for you when we were on our own?"

"You never made pie!"

"That's because you never saw me." He shakes his fork at her and winks.

"When did you learn how to do this? It had to have been long after we were out of school."

They stand in the kitchen. Leia hands he father an apron and helps him tie it. She stands at the counter as he measures out some Tatooine sea salt, Unbleached Corellian flour, some sugar and some sweet creamery bantha butter. He carefully mixes the ingredients with some chilled water then rolls it out onto the marble countertop. He explains how he came to make delicious pies.

"It was early on when Isabel was carrying Ana-Lena. She had this burst of energy one night. You and Luke were out somewhere. Anyway, Isabel couldn't sleep so I sat up with her while she raided the kitchen. The way she made the piecrust was like a work of art. She showed me how to make three different pies that night."

Leia touches the rolled out pastry. It feels like silk.

"Dad, you've missed your calling."

"Oh right…so the Imperial officers can refer to me as the 'Dark Lord of Yavin Banana Crème pies'? I don't think so. That wouldn't go over well. How intimidating would I be? Hand me the berries. Did you toss them in the sugar, cinnamon, and lemon juice?"

"Yes, Daddy, just as you instructed."

"Okay, so now you add the fruit …there we go. Cover the top…"

"Wow, that pie is beautiful. It's so high."

"Yep. No craters and no empty pockets...no more cement pie."

They sit in the living room and watch some vintage episodes of 'Chewie and Boga.' while the pies bake. Leia makes her first successful pie ever. When the pies are done, it is time to do the ice cream some justice. The pies look beautiful. They return to watch the rest of 'Chewie and Boga', each with a bowl of Rainbow Berry pie a la mode. This is the best 'Anything Day' ever.

Anakin is glad he wore one of his blue shirts. It hid the berry stain perfectly. He'll hand it to the domestic droid for washing when he gets home.

Anakin helps her throw away the empty Ewok Village burger bags when it is time to leave. Eating this Youngling fast food brings back fond memories for Anakin. The years have come and gone so quickly.

He glances at his watch. It is time to leave. Leia sees him to the door. She holds his coat on one arm as she rolls down the sleeves to his blue shirt.

"Nice shirt."

"My daughter gave it to me for my birthday."

"You remembered."

"I do. I remember all the gifts my children have given to m over the years. Listen, I had a great time. Thanks."

"See? Wasn't this worth more to you than spending a lot of money at some impersonal 5-star restaurant?"

"It was. You were right to have lunch here."

"It's good to see you, Dad."

"You too, sweet pea." He kisses her on her forehead. "Thanks for the burgers; and you matched the wine perfectly."

"If you get indigestion, take an antacid."

"I have some on me." He pats his jacket pocket. She catches on.

"Aha! You thought I was going to cook. You rat!"

"You got me."

"You silly man." She shoves him out the door. "Drive carefully, you maniac."

"I will."

She waves as he gets into his speeder and drives off.

Han arrives home exactly 30 minutes after Anakin leaves. He tosses his keys into the porcelain dish in the foyer. He follows the aroma of freshly baked sweets. He is curious about his discovery of this wonderful smell. He heads straight for the kitchen where he finds the pies on the counter. They are still warm. Han helps himself to a big slice and a glass of cold milk. Leia has just taken a quick shower and is heading into the kitchen in her robe. Han sees her standing in the doorway.

"How was your 'Any-Sith Day' with your dad?" He has a mouthful of pie.

"It was great! He had such a good time."

"That's good to hear. You watched your kiddie show?"

"Yes, but we talked too. It was nice. He was like a little boy. You should have seen him. He seemed so happy and at peace."

"Is that why there was a celebration in town?"

"What celebration?"

"I'm joking. So, what did you have for lunch?"

"One of his favorites."

"Burgers, mustarfries, and a side salad, eh?"

"It was an Imperial Burger. They do sell adult food, you know. The food is really good. We had it with a bottle of cabernet."

"Ohhh…so you broke out the good stuff."

"Well, he is my father."

"Yeah, I guess. Wow, this pie is great! Where did you buy it?"

"It is good, isn't it? You really like it?"

"Yeah! It's better than that last catastrophe you made."

"Gee, thanks a lot, Han. I work hard in the kitchen to cook for you and you insult me?"

"No offense but you should leave the cooking to the pros. So, you bought two pies? Why?"

"No, they're homemade. I made one. Guess who made the one you're eating?"

"Who?"

"My dad." She smiles proudly as she dries her hair with a thick blue towel. Han is not so talkative right now. He immediately stops chewing. A wad of pie is lodged in his right cheek.

He tries to think back on all the things he has said in the past few minutes and whether any of it would have been offensive to a particular Dark Lord.

"Oh…hmmm…what's in it?"

"Berries…Why"

"Nothing…it's just that you can never tell with him. It's difficult to read what he's thinking. That charming smile of his masks what he's really saying to you sometimes. I always get the feeling he's trying to get back at me or something."

"Han, you're paranoid! When are you going to face the fact that he likes you? He only taunts you because you goof on him all the time."

"I don't goof on him."

"Yes, you do."

"Am I going to faint, have some mysterious allergic reaction, or wind up in Carbonite?"

"Don't be silly…he would never tamper with someone's food. Is that how you see my father?"

"Sorry."

Leia smiles as she watches him enjoying the pie.

"That's really good, huh?"

Han feels better. He thinks about how silly he has been acting since he walked into the kitchen. He finishes eating the pie on his plate. He nods in agreement. It is time to move forward and put an end to the petty games with his father-in-law.

"Yeah…it's good. The man's got talent. It's perfect. He should start a pie making business."

"That's a great idea, Han. I should mention it to him. He might want to consider putting it in his retirement plan."

"He's retiring?"

"No, but what's to stop him from early retirement? I mean, he can certainly afford it. He can't possibly want to remain Executive Chief of Staff forever."

"I honestly can't see your old man retiring. He's got a big ego. He'll want to keep that iron fist over the galaxy for as long as he lives. But, if he does retire, I'm sure the Imperial Forces can't wait to give him a big sendoff." He sees a white bag on the counter. He leans over and peeks inside.

"I wouldn't be too sure of that. Want to go out tonight or I could throw something together?"

"You've got extra burgers in this bag. I'll have those for dinner."

"Okay."

"Why, you wanted to go out?"

"No."

Leia gets dressed and returns to the kitchen. She puts together a tossed green salad. Leia sets out the rest of the food from Ewok Burger Village. The thermal bag has kept the food hot for hours. Leia calls her husband in to eat.

"Han, what's taking you so long? Dinner's ready."

"I'm getting a couple of bottles of Corellian Ale. Have you been moving things around my bar?"

"No. I never go over there."

Han comes to the table and sets two amber bottles on the table.

"Now I'm ready to eat."

He sits at the head of the table and opens one of the bottles. Leia covers her mouth. The contents of the bottle erupts like a geyser in his face.

"Oh, Han!"

"Nice." Han grabs a napkin and wipes his face. He sees Leia's face. "You knew!"

"No…it's just a coincidence. He was with me the whole time today…I think." Oh, Han, it's just beer."

"No…it's ale…Your dad needs to grow up." He wags his finger at her. "Go on; laugh it up, '_Sweet Pea_!_'_"

Later back at 620 Faleen Hyper Drive, Anakin is relaxing on the sofa in the family room with Alex. They are having an 'Anything Evening' reading _'Kody the Lonely Krayt Dragon Goes to the Beach'. _Anakin starts laughing for no good reason. Alex is curled up on the sofa with his father. He looks up from the book and smiles.

"Dad, you really did it, didn't you?"

Anakin holds his finger to his lips. He has a smirk on his face.

"Shhh…don't tell your mother. She thinks I'm corrupting young innocent minds as it is."

"Well, aren't you?"

"Of course but we don't want her to know. The next thing you know, I'll have to go over there and apologize. No one has a sense of humor anymore. It's a harmless prank…don't let me catch you trying this with anyone or I'll ground you."

"Oh, I won't. It's more fun when you do it."

"See? _' Anything Day'_ can be as good as you make it. It's all in the attitude."

"You're awesome, Dad."

"I know."

The telephone rings. Isabel appears in the doorway of the dayroom. The phone is in her hand.

"Anakin, Leia is on the phone."

"She had her 'day." This is Alex's time. I'll chitchat with her tomorrow. Tell her not to forget who taught her how to make pie. Ungrateful children."

Alex smiles up at his father.

"I'm grateful, Dad."

"I know you are, son. Let's finish this lame book. This Kody is a downer. Isn't he ever happy? He needs some antidepressants."

"It's a drug-free story, Dad. He has to find his own happiness."

"Yoda told you that didn't he?"

"No…Mom did."

"Oh…well…in that case, she's right….okay, where were we?"

"He has to decide which toys will fit in his trawler to get to the beach."

"Oh, right." Anakin looks on the coffee table at the stack of books. They are all part of the _'Kody'_ series. "Do things get better for this guy?"

"Sure…something good happens in each volume."

"How long does he have to go through all this disappointment and humiliation?"

"Until he finds true happiness."

"Wonderful."

Isabel pokes her head in the doorway and smiles.

"Excuse, me gentlemen. Anakin, sweetie, thanks for the flowers."

"Huh? What flowers?"

Isabel quietly closes the door. Alex looks at his father.

"Yeah, what flowers, Dad?"

"I have no idea…" He is about to resume reading to his son when he cringes. "Holy 'sith!'"

"Oooh, Dad….you said…"

"I know what I said. Your sister is a troublemaker. Hand me the phone."

"Can I dial?"

"Sure."

Alex speaks into the phone.

"Hi, we need to order lots of flowers for my mom 'cause my dad messed up….anything you've got. It's real bad…credit card? I'm too young…you'd better talk to my dad."

Anakin takes the phone.

"Hello…the name is Skywalker….yes…yes…yes; I have an ongoing account….my wife…yes…two dozen…yes…sure, why not…_ 'I'm sorry, you were right about the driving directions.'_ Yes…_ 'I love you.' _…no…on the card. Thank you. Goodnight." He lets Alex hang up.

"Dad, you almost had to send that lady on the phone flowers."

"That would just create a whole 'nother problem with your mother. It's better this way."

"You're the man."

"Sometimes. On days like this I just feel whipped."

"Let's read. You'll feel better."

"You might be right, son."

_'Tea & Sympathy - Red Menace Bridal Makeover' _

During this time of year, Luke and Mara check out the wedding registry. It turns out to be more fun than they had realized. They make a great team as they scan the gifts they want for their wedding day. Luke promises teamwork will define their marriage. There are some things; however, that Mara needs to do on her own.

Mara decides to visit an old friend in Orowood, not far from where Leia and Han live. She needs the help of someone other than the Jedi or her family. She hopes she receives a warm welcome. Well, at least it sounded warm.

"Oh, good heavens look what the Force blew in. I thought you were joking when you said you'd be right over. Now I see you were actually serious about stopping by. Well, don't just stand there, child; move your feet, one foot in front of the other...that's it. Now was that so dreadfully hard? Come in and give the greatest mentor in the galaxy a hug." Mara falls into the professor's comforting embrace. He can feel her shaking like a hunted scurrier. "Now you tell old Higgins what has brought you to this state...and to my home as I'm having my afternoon tea."

"Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt you and Mrs. Higgins….

"My dear child, Mrs. Higgins is at hospital right now performing her duties as the excellent nurse that she is. She is _'not'_ being interrupted; but I assure you, I am. Now, please get a hold of yourself."

"Oh, I feel so confused. "

"Obviously. You wound up on my doorstep instead of going home where you belong. Sit and calm yourself child." He nods to the butler who immediately pours Mara a cup of hot tea. Mara takes a sip thinking this will calm her so she can get her thoughts together. "Calm yet?" He glances at his antique pocket watch. Mara is quiet for a moment then looks up at the professor.

"I'm getting there." After taking a deep breath, she starts talking again. "Thank you for seeing me, Professor. I don't know what I would have done. You see, I'm engaged…"

"Well typically, an engagement is followed by the actual marriage…sorry…continue." He takes his teacup and sips as he listens to Mara. "Congratulations by the way, I saw the engagement announcement on the society page some time back. It was very tastefully done."

"Thank you. Isabel Skywalker and her mother helped with that."

"Ouisanne Nor, as you know, is a great friend of mine. She is a refined lady and the perfect _'go to'_ person for such things."

I know, but it's not the reason I'm here."

"Well please enlighten me. My butler Sheffield and I would like to know."

"Well…as you know, I'm getting married…"

"Yes, yes, yes….move it along…tea doesn't stay hot forever, my dear. Whoever thought that dunking a few cubes of ice into an already perfect beverage must have been daft. Iced Tea! I fear for the future of this galaxy. Oh, sorry, was I rambling…go on, dear child."

"Well, I'm feeling a lot of pressure…with the wedding, my family….ooooh! My family!..."

She sighs with a hint of angry frustration. Professor Higgins crosses his leg. The fine linen napkin is draped over his knee while he holds the teacup to his lips.

"Heaven's child, what in blazes are you chattering about?"

"They're going to ruin everything. They're not the type to respect protocol. All of Luke's family from Naboo will be on Coruscant for the wedding. I don't want them to think I'm all wrong for Luke. They were starting to warm up to me but I don't know what they'll think once they see my family."

"You're worrying for nothing. Have you eaten? Have something to calm your nerves."

"I'm not hungry. I'm too upset." Without thinking, she scoops up a few spoonfuls of sugar from the sugar dish, dumps it into her teacup, and quickly drowns the tea with milk. "Maybe, you're right about me getting upset over nothing, Professor."

"Why couldn't you get counseling from the Jedi advisors?"

"Everyone there knows Luke and his family. The next thing, they'll do is to have a meeting on our future and to discuss how we should live as a married couple in the Jedi order. The Jedi priest wants to know how many children we plan on having. Luke and I haven't picked out our wedding bands yet. It's ridiculous. You never over-analyze me, Professor. You truly get me. That's why I like you."

"I see…."

As Mara vents to the professor, he watches with amazement as she grabs the precision-cut tea sandwiches and stacks them together to make one tall sandwich. She continues to talk with a wad of food in her cheek like a scurrier collecting Tatooine potatoes to store for the sandstorm season.

"Anyway, I think you're my only hope if I'm to pull off this wedding without embarrassing myself and everyone else…."

"Would you like a fresh bowl of Tatooine crab chowder with those sandwiches?"

"No, I'm good. I have no appetite at all. I couldn't eat a thing even if you were to force-feed me."

"Frankly, I don't see that as a problem, you're doing a nice job of that yourself. However, since it's just been made, why don't you try it? It'll calm your nervous stomach."

"Oh…okay. Professor knows best! Hah...ha...ha!"

Higgins looks at his butler.

"Poor girl…she's broken up over this ordeal."

With equal aplomb, the butler responds in agreement.

"I can tell she is devastated. Those tea sandwiches didn't stand a chance, sir."

"Bring some more. It's going to be a long afternoon."

"Rather, sir." He picks up the platinum tray with his gloved hands, then exits to replenish the food on the empty tray.

Higgins observes Mara as she calmly chews her food and looks around the room.

"I sensed something different about this room. You've got new drapes!" She nods with approval then immediately pops the last morsel of the tiny sandwich into her mouth. Higgins sips his teas then smiles.

"Feeling better, my dear?"

"Hmmm… these tiny sandwiches are good but you need a whole plate of 'em to make a meal. Don't you buy regular bread?"

"Young lady, as god is my witness, I will transform you into the fairytale bride you always dreamed of being."

"Just don't make me into a dork okay?"

"Perish the thought. That word is not in my vocabulary, my dear."

"You sure use a lot of words; I guess you do have some you can throw away."

Sheffield the butler returns.

"My word, I do hope this wedding is worth the trouble."

"Lighten up Renfield."

"The name is _'Sheffield,'_ Miss." He bows and clicks his heels together.

Professor Higgins looks at Mara.

"Miss Jade, if you are ever to become the true lady we all know you can be, you will stop insulting my butler and get to work. You have already interrupted my tea so let's get down to business!"

Mara tries to be funny and salutes the professor. She has a big smile on her face as she fluffs up her copper-red hair.

"Yes, sir! Higgins, I want to look fierce on my wedding day."

"If you want _'fierce,'_ you'll need to go to Geonosis. I hear that the nexu feeding is the best time to go. I suggest you take the evening flight out. It will get you to the arena just in time."

Sheffield sets a fresh tray of tea sandwiches on the table.

"For your post-tea feeding, _'Miss Nexu'_…I beg your pardon… '_Miss Jade_.'"

Mara smiles as Sheffield exits the room. She leans across the table to whisper to the professor.

"I like him. He gets me."

"Frightening thought."

Back at 620 Faleen Hyper Drive –

There is 'another' is experiencing a sense of great discomfort. Discord and chaos fills the air in the Skywalker house. Anakin walks through the door and hears the heartbreaking wails of a toddler.

"What's going on? Isabel? I felt him crying during the entire ride along the Grand Moff Expressway.

He watches from the living room as Isabel slowly walks in to greet her husband. He notices she is dragging one foot behind her. Attached to the foot is their toddler son. Kris is sobbing uncontrollably as he holds onto his mother's foot. She drags his tiny body dressed in red corduroy overalls across the floor. Isabel looks up at her stunned husband.

"Anakin, believe it or not, the day started out calm and pleasant…until about an hour ago."

"What's all this about?"

"I did laundry."

"Why didn't you let the domestic service droid do it?"

"Well…that was the plan…"

"That's what she's here for."

"Yes, about that…you need to repair her. We had a bit of an accident earlier."

"What sort of an accident?"

"A few items needed washing… certain parties objected to the washing. A tug-of-war ensued. Bottom line, Kris was not cooperating. It was not a pretty sight. Anyhow, our housekeeping droid is no longer operational. You'll find her in the metal parts box next to the recycling bin."

"Well, if Kris won the battle of the blanket, how did it wind up in the washer?"

"I waited until he cried himself to sleep after his wrestling match with our housekeeping droid. Unfortunately, he woke up once he realized it was gone."

Anakin groans.

"Oh, geez…"

He looks at the baby. Kris is sitting on the floor now. The child is still choking back tears, and his fingers are in his mouth. He gags a bit. It is a pitiful sight. Anakin walks back behind the kitchen to the recycling room to 'examine' the wreckage.

He returns to find Isabel and the baby in the kitchen doorway waiting for him. Kris looks up at his father. His reddened, tear-stained face affects Anakin, but so do the droid parts in the plastic bin. The Dark Lord is torn between the love for his suffering child and a devoted domestic service droid who had served the family well over the years. Anakin looks down on the floor once more and wags his finger at the baby. The Dark Lord is almost at a loss for words.

"Hazel, Kris? What have you got to say for yourself? Nothing; just as I thought." Kris starts to whimper again and choke back tears, hoping to elicit some understanding and compassion from his father. The poor child looks worn out for sure. Anakin sighs then takes the toddler in his arms. He smoothes the toddler's soft blond hair and kisses him on the forehead. "Ohhhh…Kris…the drama…who suffered more, eh?" He carries the child over to the recycling bins. They look down at the wreckage. Titanium arms and a partial torso lay in a crumpled heap. "Look at poor Hazel in the bin. How undignified is that? See? Shame on you. She was only trying to make your blanket clean and fresh smelling. She didn't deserve this. I'm going to be up past my bedtime fixing this mess of tangled wires and metal. She's going to need a new motherboard and disk drive…and some other parts scorched beyond repair. "

He walks into the laundry room. There is a load of wash going through the first rinse cycle. Kris points to the dryer to the right. Anakin watches the drum mechanism inside the machine toss the garments around like tickets in a raffle cage on bingo night. He lets Kris down on the floor. The child stands at the dryer. He looks at the round glass door with great anticipation. He points at it then looks up at his father.

"Blank."

"Your blanket's in there?"

Kris nods thoughtfully.

"Blank."

Isabel leaves them so she can start to prepare supper. She sees Artoo, Skippy, and Threepio poking their heads above the periwinkle hydrangea in the garden. The blossoms are still full of color despite the falling temperature outside. The droids sought shelter when the baby was in tantrum mode. They come back inside and discover Anakin sitting in one of the little chairs belonging to Ana-Lena's table and chair set. Father and baby wait for the machine to complete the cycle. Anakin turns to Krizstan.

"You'll get your blanket…I promise."

Five minutes later the dryer stops. Anakin opens the door. He reaches inside to extract the blanket. The heat from the dryer is still intense. He handles the clothing like red-hot lava rocks.

"Ooh! Oh! Hot…hot…hot! Geez! These clothes are hot!"

Isabel walks into the laundry room and takes the bundle of clothes from him. She dumps them into the laundry basket.

"I'll do it. Stop clowning around, Anakin."

"I wasn't clowning around. A person could get second degree burns handling these clothes."

She pulls out the hot baby blanket, snaps it once, and then gently folds it in half. She hands it to the baby. Kris hugs his warm blanket. The baby-sweet scent of Youngling washing detergent seems to soothe him. Happy that his precious Ewok blanket survived the washing, Kris returns to the kitchen and hugs his mother. He follows her around the kitchen until suppertime.

The family dinner starts as usual. Leia is traveling with Han on a business trip to the Middle Rim Sector to a diplomacy and criminal justice conference. Luke is on a mission with one of his Padawans. The four younglings surround Anakin. The dinner table is still as lively as ever.

Anakin butters a hot crusty roll as her looks around the table at his children. He wants to hear about their day. This will soon drift to more intriguing discussion.

"So, how was class today?"

Li-An volunteers first.

"It was okay. Kyp let us practice our jumps from fountain room. It was cool…until Master Halcyon put a stop to it. I was the best …I landed on my feet each time. It was awesome."

"But you disobeyed. "

Ana-Lena nods in agreement.

"Yeah, Li, you disobeyed."

"Gee, Dad. Are you going to tell us a long boring story about when you were a kid and how you were angry and stubborn and the no one understood you, and how we could learn from your mistakes?"

Ana-Lena raises her hand after a long silence from her father. Anakin's gaze is fixed on his young son. Since the idea of sending Li-An out of the room to ponder what he has said defeats the purpose of a family dinner, Anakin decides to let the comments pass.

Ana-Lena raises her hand.

"Is it my turn to tell you about my day, Daddy?"

"Yes, sweet pea Junior. What are you going to share with us today? I trust it's uplifting and non-judgmental."

"Oh, it is…it is."

"Well, let's hear it." He glances at Li-An as if to hint that he should listen. Ana-Lena gives her father a full report of her day. This takes several minutes. Her brothers grow impatient as she goes on in detail about the star she receives from the teacher for best-behaved student in her class for the year. She was getting a gold star and an extra half hour of recess each month but then the teachers decided it was best to award the prize annually so as not to rub it in the faces of her classmates. She also receives best attendance. She then tells of her achievements in Jedi training. Her parents sit patiently and listen. Alex fidgets in his chair. Li-An groans and makes faces. Kris watches and laughs. Ana-Lena stops.

"Daddy, Li-An's making fun of me again."

"Li-An, so help me god; if you don't stop…"

"What?"

"You know. Continue with your story, sweet pea Jr..."

"So Master Yoda says I'm going to marry a handsome prince and you're going to pretend you don't like him but you actually do."

"Is that so? And who is this handsome prince who wants to marry my little girl?"

"Yoda says the future is cloudy…and then he laughed and left the room."

Anakin does not need the Jedi Master telling his daughter about his half-assed predictions.

"The future is cloudy? Always cloudy with him. I have never heard Yoda say, Hmmm…the future looks bright…oh what a sunny day…good things are coming your way…not once!""

Li-An does a dead-on impression of the diminutive Jedi Master.

"_Clouded by the Dark Side the future is…hmmm."_

Anakin returns an icy stare. Li-An sits up. His father continues to express his opinion.

"Cloudy! Can't he get his friends from the psychic helpline to get a better reading? You tell that Yoda…"

Isabel stops him.

"Anakin!"

"Well, anyway…The weatherman gives a more accurate reading and when he says it's cloudy; then he gives you a bonus and tells you to take an umbrella to work because the clouds will be followed by rain." He turns to Alex. "So, what's going on with you, my young Jedi to-be?"

"I have a permission slip for you to sign. I got accepted into the Jedi Boys Choir. Master Corran Horn says I have a great voice and a strong ear for music.

"I see those piano lesions didn't go to waste but I didn't send you to the Jedi Academy to sing."

"Well, Uncle Ben says that girls like boys who sing or play an instrument. You sing. Mom and Uncle Ben said so."

Anakin squints at his wife. She looks back and responds.

"Well, it's true, Anakin. He asked and I was honest with him."

"Well, let's not talk about me. I didn't go audition for _'A New Hope, the Musical_._'_"

"What's that?"

"Never-you-mind. Alex, do you honestly believe music will make your opponent throw down his weapons and surrender?"

"Mom warned me you'd have some flippant remark to add."

"She did, eh? Well she was right about me. So, tell me, hot shot. Do you really think being in this choir is going to help you? What are you going to do, sing your opponent to death?"

"Ha! You're funny, Dad."

"Yeah, I'm a regular laugh riot."

Ana-Lena lifts a forkful of carrots and peas to her mouth then decides she has something to say.

"I think you're funny, Daddy…in a good way."

"Thanks."

Li-An sips his blue milk and then cuts the roast meat on his plate.

"Great roast shaak, Mom."

"Thank you, Li."

"The veggies taste good too. What did you do to them?"

"I cooked them."

"Oh…well…they're still good." He smiles and gives his mother two 'thumbs up." He turns his attention back to his father. "So, Dad, you never asked Kris about his day."

"There's nothing to ask."

Isabel speaks to the children.

"Oh, starting tomorrow, you're going to make your own beds during the week until further notice."

Alex is confused.

"Why?"

Ana-Lena brings up the subject no one wants to mention.

"Yeah, why, Mommy? Where's Hazel?"

"Hazel is out of commission."

Alex speaks without missing a beat.

"Well, give her some more and she'll come back to work."

"She _broken_."

"Ohhh…why didn't you just say so?"

"I did."

"How did she break?"

Li-An smiles knowingly.

"Oohhh, I know what happened." He turns to the innocent looking baby in the high chair.

"Your blanket sure is clean, Kris."

Kris sits calmly in his highchair playing with his baby fork.

"Haso go bye-bye."

"Yeah, I bet she did…more like she went _'Kablewie!'_"

Anakin looks at his son. He looks as if he is about to yell at Li-An but he takes another forkful of his roast shaak. Isabel leaves the table to get a clean cloth to wipe the baby's face. The children giggle nervously at their father. They find it amusing that he has nothing to say.

Alex is curious.

"Are we getting a new housekeeper droid?"

Li-An has a suggestion.

"The next one should be cool…like a transformer that can turn into a speeder or something cool like that."

Alex nods in agreement.

"Yeah, cool."

Ana-Lena weighs in on this.

"Why can't it be a girl droid? They're nice. She can help me arrange my dolls and we can have tea parties together."

"No way! You can't have a kid droid to pick up your dumb dolls! Anyway, we need a droid that understands the binary language of major home appliances and can make beds. There's probably a droid labor law forbidding the use of juvenile droids. Silly girl!"

Ana-Lena pouts.

"I'm not silly."

Alex has an idea.

"I know…what if we got one that looks pretty. We can get one that looks like mom."

Li-An cannot believe these ideas.

"Now that idea really sucks!"

Isabel yells at him as she returns to the table.

"Li-An!"

"Sorry, Mom. Alex, you know how much trouble Dad would be in if he mixes them up. Then we'd all suffer." He looks over at his father and smiles. "See, I'm looking out for you, Dad."

"Thanks, Li…just for your information, there will be no esoteric changes. Frankly, I'm shocked that you are so quick to change the specifications for our housekeeping droid. Her parts aren't cold yet and you're practically dancing on her recycling box. You should be ashamed."

Ana-Lena turns to her father.

"I'm sorry, Daddy. I'm going to say a prayer for Hazel tonight before I go to bed."

Li-An mocks her. Isabel stands behind his chair. He stops immediately. His mother does not budge. Li-An finishes his meal in silence.

After the family has dinner, Kris visits his father in the study. Anakin sits on the leather sofa reassembling the domestic home droid. Kris sucks on his pacifier and clutches his blanket. He occasionally hands his father a tool and watches the progress. Anakin glances up from his work.

"You need to learn how to control your temper, kid. Take it from me, it saves you a lot of grief. I know how to deal with things when I don't get my way."

The baby giggles as he continues to suck on his pacifier. He leans against his father's knees and observes the reconstruction.

The following week is Befana Eve. Anakin takes the younglings to the 'Hoth Holiday Wonderland' on Rodian Drive to visit Babbo Befana a few days before. He had to get out of the house anyway because Isabel is preparing the house for a big Befana Eve dinner with the _'Nerf-in-laws'_ and the soon-to-be _'Jade outlaw-in-laws.'_

Alex and Ana-Lena hope for snow. They have been gazing out their bedroom window every night. The children have taken an interest in the evening Intergalactic Weather Channel and the Up-to-the-minute Weather Report on the Coruscant Evening News while staying with their grandparents during the weekend before the holiday. The forecaster is nothing but a tease with his inconclusive report using the words "slight possibility, "if conditions persist," and "possible cold front." Nakai tells them to stop watching the weather reports and to join him in his workshop. He shows them how to make miniature canoe ornaments for the tree. This seems to keep their minds off snow for now.

Anakin dreaded having to stand on line with the other parents and their fidgety, bratty kids. He should be used to this by now, having taken Luke and Leia and then the younger Skywalker children. The children enjoy the wait. It gives them a chance to take in the entire holiday atmosphere.

Fortunately, they arrive at the perfect time. There is no one ahead of them. Anakin and the children hear the familiar laughter up the _'Ho-Hoth Holiday Path' _to Babbo Befana. The jolly old man sits on his throne surrounded by little elf Ewoks, Jawas and students on semester break. The students seem disinterested compared to the chattering Jawas and the animated Ewoks. The big star of the show, of course is Babbo Befana. He is a sight to behold.

"Ho-Ho-Ho! Merry Befana and a Ho-Hoth Holiday to you, little Miss!"

Ana-Lena smiles and appears to be somewhat bashful as she approaches him. She greets him with a meek "Hi."

"Come sit on Babbo Befana's lap!" She hops onto his lap with the help of one of the students. Big Babbo looks at her. "My, aren't you pretty. Is that a new dress?"

"No."

"Oh, well it sure is pretty and festive too!"

"Thank you. That's what my Nana says. She bought it for me. It's got little holly berries on the hem. See?"

"Oh, yes. I see. So, what would you like Babbo to bring you for Befana Eve?"

"Nothing, thank you. My parents get me everything I need. Oh, here is a present for the refugee children."

Babbo accepts the gift and hands it to one of the Ewoks. The Ewok examines the gift-wrapping, sniffs it a few times, and then tries to open it. One of the students rips it from his furry little hands then places it in a large container decorated like an opened gift. Another student dressed as a holiday elf is standing behind the holocam ready to take the candid snapshot Babbo turns his attention back to Ana-Lena.

"Are you sure you don't want anything?"

"No…well, there is one thing."

"What is that little Miss?"

"Could you make my Gramp Palps good so my Daddy can stop worrying about him?"

"I can't promise you that but perhaps we can just put the fear of god in him. How's that?"

"That's fair."

"Okay, here's a little something to enjoy on the way home."

Ana-Lena accepts the treat wrapped in crisp cellophane and a satin ribbon.

"Thank you. My brothers are waiting, so I won't keep you any longer. You're such a nice old man. You look just like the real Babbo Befana on the greeting cards at our house. You're the most authentic one so far."

"Ahso…why, thank you."

"Good-bye."

"Good-bye. Off you go now. Ho! Ho! Ho! Who's next?"

Alex stares up at the jolly old man with the white beard. The Babbo looks down at him.

"Ho! Ho! Ho! I know who you are! You live at 620 Hyper Drive!"

"Wow! You're good! How do you know so much?"

Li-An leans over and whispers to his brother.

"He's got your holograph card from the elf. It's not any voodoo trick, Alex." Alex ignores his brother. He is not quite jaded yet. He is fascinated and amused as he giggles at the old man.

"Who am I?"

"You don't know?"

"Hah-ha! That's a joke, isn't it?"

"You've got me there, little Jedi. So, tell me, have you been a good boy this year?"

"I believe I meet the requirements."

"Well, you certainly have. So, what would you like this Befana Eve?"

"I haven't given it much thought. This visit is a one-time deal, right?"

"That's usually the way it goes, yes."

"Oh…Well…it would be cool to have snow this year."

"Hmmm, I can't make you any promises on that front."

"Well, the weatherman does."

"He's just a working stiff trying to provide a service."

"Well, he shouldn't mislead little kids. So, that's it, I guess. Thanks."

"You're quite welcome, and thank you for your donation. Your gift will make some child in the galaxy happy on Befana Eve."

Alex hops down. Two Ewok and three Jawa elves set him in a log go-cart and send him off through the Hoth Winter Village. The old man waves a cheerful goodbye before settling his gaze on his next visitor. Li-An takes a deep breath. He seems to know the routine.

"Hey, Babbo, how's it going?"

"Welcome back, Li-An. What's this? You're not too old to hop on my lap now are you?"

"Okay…let's get this over with; I want to cut out of here before Darla Tachi sees me. She's back there with her grandmother."

"Oh, I see…you have an admirer in the back of the line."

"Can we move this along? I'm only here for moral support because my brother and sister are such spazzes when they see you."

"Thank you…I think. So, what can I do for you other than…?"

"I know the drill…no combustibles, no plasma glue to use as a gag on my Gramp Palp and, I must think of things for the better good."

"You remember well, young Padawan. So tell me, Li-An, what can I do for you this year?"

"Nothing. I'm good….you know what I mean."

"Are you certain there isn't anything you want?"

"All the cool stuff is forbidden, so I'll just stick with what I got last year."

"How about a hug?"

'Sure. Why not?"

Babbo whispers in his hear. The soft white hair touches Li-An's face.

"You're going to be a great Jedi. You'll have an important role in the Jedi Order."

"I hope you warned the Council. I'm already a handful as it is."

"Ho! Ho! Ho! What an amusing child you are. Here's a little treat. Off you go now. May the Force be with you, my child."

"Thanks. You too, Babbo."

Li-An starts to leave. The Ewok and Jawa elves gather round to escort him to a log sled ride through Hoth Winter Village Wonderland. He holds out his hand and stops them.

"Okay, listen up; I'm getting a little too old for this. I need to walk out of hear with a little dignity. After all, I am nine now." He looks back at Babbo Befana. The old man gives him a wink. Li-An gives in.

"Alright, for old time's sake, but this it. You won't see me here next year."

With a whoosh, the little Padawan Learner takes the ride down the log sled course. He finds a delightful surprise at the exit.

"Hey, I thought you vowed never to ride this thing again."

"Luke! Hi! Well, I have to show the young ones how it's done."

"That was my favorite part of visiting Hoth Wonderland…with Dad of course."

"What are you doing here?"

"Shopping. What do you think I'm doing?."

"How can you shop in peace with her hanging over your shoulder?"

Mara musses his thick blonde hair before he has time to protest.

"Nice to see you too, small fry."

"Just because you're going to be bossing my big brother around, don't get any ideas about bossing us kids."

"Calm down, 'Mini Blondie,' some girl will look down on you and mold you to her liking one day."

"No girl's going to determine my future. I'm the boss of my destiny."

Just as they are chatting, their father has placed Krizstan on Babbo Befana's lap. Kris sits quietly after Anakin has unzipped the child's white snowsuit. Everything seems fine at first. Babbo is talking to him. Kris manages to smile a few times until he is surrounded by Ewoks and Jawas. The Ewoks try to play a game of 'Peek-A-Boo' while the Jawas play with his snowsuit of which he is still attached. Kris stares at the annoying Jawas as they try to pull at him. He punches one Jawa in the face with his free hand. It topples over the other Jawas like a row of dominoes. The Ewoks step away as they chatter to one another.

"Oooooh…"

Babbo chastises the Jawas and sends them away. Anakin hurries up to the throne to rescue his child. By this time the damage is done. Kris is crying hysterically. Mara, Luke and the other children circle around to the beginning of the line. The university students emerge from the back of the display in time to see Anakin slug one of the Jawas. The crowds watch in horror. Parents shield their kids.

That evening Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Isabel's father Nakai sit in the study on the leather sofa watching the repeated footage of the melee. Reporters interview the Jawas from the county hospital emergency room. Nakai changes the channel with the remote. Obi-Wan sips a Caamas and laughs at the instant replay. The phones are ringing off the hook. He is holding a compress to his forehead. The evening edition of the Coruscant Times is on the floor at his feet. Isabel walks in and hands Anakin two headache capsules and a glass of water.

"Here you go sweetie. Let me change that compress for you."

Nakai slows down the footage of the incident.

"You know, Anakin, those Jawas don't have a case. They were menacing the baby. You were protecting your child. I don't even think those Jawas were licensed to work with kids…not here on Coruscant anyway. My nephew is an attorney. He says it was self-defense. Boy, you sure did sucker punch that little fella."

Obi-Wan smiles.

"That was funny as hell…Nakai, speed it up."

Anakin is not amused.

"I'm glad to see someone is getting a chuckle out of this. Did you see the headlines?"

'_The Dark Lord Imperial Commander In-Chief Attacks Jawa Elf…Ruins Befana Eve Holiday for Millions of Children'_

'_Ewoks Fly for the Holidays at Popular Shopping Plaza'_

Obi-Wan picks up the paper.

"This is nonsense. Babbo Befana came out without a scratch. What's the big deal?"

Nakai turns to Anakin and pats him on the back.

"Don't worry about it, Ani. But why didn't you use your mind trick on the people?"

"I was in shock."

"That _is_ a shock."

The door opens and Palpatine shuffles in to see Anakin.

"Anakin, I came as soon as I heard. I even hailed my own taxi after the play to get here. Isabel said you weren't taking any calls. You need to have a long talk with her about whom the boss is in this family….oh, hello Nakai! I didn't see you there. Your daughter is a lovely girl. So, Anakin, I was thinking, you could go on the telly and state your case."

"There is no case and I'm not going on the airwaves about this matter."

"I got you an interview with Robbe Nostler of GNN. He wants to hear your side. Anakin, listen, this is the only way your side of the story can get told. Surely, you don't want this ridiculous story haunting you through the holiday season."

After hesitating for a moment, Anakin looks up at the old man.

"I'll think about it."

"Think about it seriously my son. So, what's going on here? A little get-together? Dinner perhaps?"

Anakin begrudgingly allow Palpatine to stay for dinner. He is pondering the pros and cons of appearing on a news program. He is hoping Krizstan does not suffer any long-term effects from his experience. This is supposed to be a 'child-friendly' holiday.

In the nursery that evening, an old friend visits. Kris is sleeping peacefully in his crib.

'_You did good today, kid. Nice left-hook you gave that annoying Jawa. Don't worry, you're going to love the holidays. No Jawa is going to get in the way of that. The spirit of the season is a powerful thing to behold. Sweet dreams.' _

Next Chapter : _'Death Star Crystal Paperweights – The perfect Corporate Gift'_


	149. Chapter 149 Holidays at the Skywalker's

_Chapter 149_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Crowded House, Holiday House – PART I'_

'_Live from Coruscant, It's Sith in the Night'_

'_Public Apology Accepted'_

'_Slay Ride'_

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

The holidays are in full swing. Befana Eve is just two days away. Anakin finishes up some work at the office. The incident involving the holiday Jawas is behind him. The interview with news anchor Robbe Nostler turns out to be a good thing after all.

"Good evening, Mr. Skywalker."

"Good Evening."

"Let's get right to the point, shall we? You've seen the footage. It shows an out of control leader of the Intergalactic community whaling mercilessly on a defenseless holiday Jawa. You're in the public eye. Why did you choose to lose control in such a public place with children shopping with their parents on the most sacred of holidays?"

"I chose to protect my child from the ravaging fingers of terrifying Jawas."

"Aren't you painting a broad stroke over the entire Jawa population?"

"Tell me, Mr. Nostler, when was the last time you had a Jawa at your house for dinner?"

"Uh…never, but this isn't about me, it's about you. I'm not on trial here." He calls to the control room. "Play the footage again." When the tape stops, he turns to Anakin. "Well, Mr. Skywalker? I'm sure the galaxy sees you as a tyrant. No one is going to remember all of your philanthropic work. They're going to remember these images. These things will live in infamy. What have you to say for yourself? Are you going to cry?"

"No! I'm not going to crumble like the other people you interview. Tell me, do you have a droid at your house?"

"Of course, just about everyone does…where's the relevance?"

"Did you purchase it legally? I bet the droid you have was stolen and resold as new. Did you purchase them from Jawas?"

"Well…I…what difference does it make?"

"Where's your receipt? Do you have papers? You got droids that fell off the back of a sand crawler, didn't you? I was once a victim of theft. Jawas stole my beloved protocol droid C-3PO years ago. Threepio, come over here, my trusted friend. Say hello to the viewers across the galaxy."

"Who? Me, Master?"

Anakin waves for the droid to join him on camera. Threepio walks over to the interview desk and stands next to Anakin. Anakin puts his arm around the droid. Threepio does a double take as his master speaks some heartfelt words into the camera. The droid looks into the holocamera and waves.

"I'm…I'm on plasma? Intergalactic, plasma? How do I look? I haven't had my oil bath. I hope I'm presentable enough. The droid tosses Anakin's coat aside as he hams for the holocamera. He sits in one of the empty chairs at the news desk and peers into the holocamera. "Well…Hello. Ahem! I am C-3PO, human cyborg relations."

Anakin continues speaking to the viewing public.

"Yes you are, Threepio. Ladies and gentlemen of the viewing audience, this fine protocol droid was assembled by yours truly with these two…well...I made him. Many years ago, he was stolen from me and was about to be sold on the black market by none other than Jawas! Luckily, I was able to locate my trusted friend by this No-Jack anti-theft device." He holds up a credit card sized object. "It's worth every credit! I want to let everyone in the galaxy know that my droids are 100 percent grade-A factory certified. What do you have to say about that, Mr. Nostler?"

The characteristically calm news anchor fans his arms at the holocamera.

"Cut! Cut! "

The angry and frazzled Robbe Nostler signals for the holocamera operator to stop taping. Anakin speaks into the microphone just before the broadcast is over.

"Thank you and may you all have a pleasant and happy Befana Eve. Good night everybody!"

Threepio pops his golden head in front of Anakin so he is on camera and speaks into the microphone.

"May the Force be with you! God bless us, each and every one."

Threepio is giddy as he and his master leave Robbe Nostler at the desk red-faced and speechless. The holocamera does a close-up of the once respected newscaster.

"Oh, dear, what have I done?"

Threepio is still excited about his moment on the air.

"That was truly a feather in your helmet, Master. We knocked 'em dead. That'll be the last time he trifled with the likes of us."

"That's right, Threepio. He suddenly shoves the droid. "What was all that mugging in front of the camera? Pick up my coat!"

Over 60 billion viewers across the galaxy tune in for the broadcast. The interview nets the highest ratings ever for the network. Gladys will tell him how handsome he looked onscreen when she sees him.

Anakin and Threepio leave the studio. Anakin feeling of triumph is overshadowed by the fact that he has to eat crow and drive across town to visit the _'old man.'_ The on-air interview was, after all, _his _suggestion. Anakin must show his appreciation or he will never hear the end of this. Threepio reluctantly accompanies the Dark Lord to witness the official _'thank you.'_

Anakin walks up to the door and presses the doorbell. He is carrying something in his hands.

"There doesn't seem to be anyone at home. Let's go, Master."

Threepio starts to turn away when the door swings open. Palpatine greets them. He is wearing a festive cardigan with a Hoth Wampa appliqué on the left side. The creature is wearing a black top hat and has a pipe in its mouth. Anakin stares it for a moment before making eye contact with the old man. Palpatine holds open the door.

'What a pleasant surprise this is! Anakin, my son! It's so good to see you."

"Yeah. How're you doing?"

"Come in…yes…come in. Is that for me?"

"It is."

Palpatine takes the gift basket as Anakin walks inside and slams the door on Threepio. The droid is quite insulted.

"Goodness gracious me! Old coot! How dare him. I'm a holovid celebrity. "

Palpatine busily admires the basket looking at all the goodies through the cellophane. Anakin waves the door open again without looking back. Threepio cautiously enters the house. Palpatine ignores the droid and continues to check out the gift basket.

"Anakin, it's beautiful."

"Isn't it? Isabel ordered it for you."

"She does have an eye for style…what a lovely selection of gourmet items…hmm. Is she warming up to me?"

"Not really."

"It's been years, how long is she going to hold this grudge against me?"

"Well, you seem to forget you tried to kidnap our child."

"That was years ago! Li-An isn't holding it against me; why should she?"

"You're never going to understand. You must sleep well at night."

Palpatine is selectively oblivious to the seriousness of his past actions.

"I do, I do….Anyway, come, sit. Can I offer you some refreshment?"

"No thanks. I can't stay long."

"Oh…I was so hoping for some quality time with you. I watched your interview this evening, Anakin. I must say, well done!"

"Thanks."

"There was one thing you missed, however."

"What's that?"

"You didn't plug my play!"

"He's _your_ friend. You go on air and plug your silly play…and where do you get off using me to promote your play on my airtime?"

"The pompous old camera hog. I'm a celebrity and he won't see me."

"He saw me."

"He says you're newsworthy. He's been trying to get you on the air for years but that henchwoman Imperial Secretary of yours won't put him through."

Anakin smiles broadly at the thought of Gladys fending off the press for his sake. She's worth the 3 thousand-credit bonus he is going to give her.

"You're referring to Gladys? Yeah, she's tough. That motherly exterior of hers fools you but she will put you in your place. She's great! Threepio, stop wandering around in the foyer and come in here. Have a seat. You're making me dizzy."

Threepio walks pass the old man and takes the seat Palpatine had intended for Anakin. The droid sits between the two men. Palpatine rolls his eyes at the droid then adjusts his over-sized armchair and turns his attention to Anakin.

"So, what else is going on?"

"Oh, uhm…as you know, we're having a big dinner with all the in-laws. We want to invite you to Befana Eve dinner."

"Are you sure you want me there? I don't want to embarrass you. You've got me banished at the edge of town as it is."

"Oh cut it out. We want you there…especially the children."

"Well! I can't very well disappoint the young ones, now can I?"

"I think not. There's one request from the kids."

"Anything. What is it?"

"They want you to come to midnight service."

Palpatine sits silent in his armchair for a minute. He begrudgingly gives in.

"Okay."

"Don't disappoint them."

"Stop worrying, Anakin. This isn't one of those interventions where those blasted Jedi priests gang up on you, is it?"

"Of course not… and watch the language. No blasphemy."

"Fine."

Anakin points to the cardigan that the old Sith is wearing.

"So, what's with the whacky holiday cardigan?"

"Oh, we had a 'Secret Befana' at the Shady Acres Community Center. One of the ladies gave this to me."

"I thought it was secret."

"Those women can't keep a secret. I think she likes me. We've been dating off and on."

"Oh…so, I guess you've totally over with Ms. Moore, eh?"

"Yes. She came to visit me once. The old crone. I gave her the best moments of my life."

"The best, eh? We were wondering where all those moments had gone. Mystery solved!"

"We've had an official parting of the ways."

"You broke up years ago. That's the longest 'parting of ways' I've ever heard of. Anyway, good for you. Well, we should get going. Come on, Threepio."

"I'm already at the door, sir."

"Father, I'll see you on Befana Eve."

"I'll be there." He walks Anakin to the door.

Threepio turns to Palpatine and wags his golden finger at the old man.

"You had better. By the way, that cardigan is hideous. You look like an old carnival clown." He kicks the door then hurries behind his master before the former Emperor has a chance to retaliate.

Anakin wins the support of the public after his interview. Things don't go so well for news personality Robbe Nostler however. Calls from Coruscant and all over the galaxy flood the station's switchboard. His viewers turn on him. In less than 48 hours, he issues public apology to the Dark Lord. He is solemn and contrite.

'_Many times, I have addressed the Empire in a very stern manner, and I have accused your leader for what I believed was his heavy-handedness in dealing with public figures as well as those who served under him. I have, worst of all attacked him as a person, a father. I am humbled enough to say 'I regret it and I am sorry.'_

_I have taken my position as a respected and trusted media figure to malign an innocent man. I have abused that privileged title of news anchor and journalist to inflict great pain and I pray for your forgiveness during this sacred season. I vow never to take my position as a journalist for granted again. I don't want to die!'_

Anakin, his father-in-law, Lando, and Boba Fett sit in the study laughing as they listen to the speech. Anakin plays it repeatedly on the SIVO box. After they get their chuckles, they resume viewing the latest broadcast of Intergalactic Celebrity Sabacc featuring James Solo. Threepio tells Artoo about his momentous intergalactic holovision debut. Artoo whistles and chirps something that insults the protocol droid.

"What do you mean by that remark? _' Enjoy my fifteen minutes of fame.'_ Why you impudent little rubbish bin! I'll have you know, I was on live holovision in over 20 different star systems. I'm famous."

'_Anything Day for Wives' _

A few days before Befana Eve. Anakin has kept up with the appointments on his calendar. Every Skywalker offspring has spent quality time with the 'Darth Father'. He has just finished playing _'How Do the Grazers Eat?' _He makes a fool of himself with the baby by eating, face-first into a plate of Tatooine mashed potatoes. Their faces are covered with food. Kris stops and looks at Anakin's face.

"Again!"

"Gup gup!"

The baby laughs hysterically.

"Again!"

"Gup gup!"

Anakin feels he is being watched. Standing in the doorway are his wife and 'Number 1 Son'. He quickly grabs his napkin and wipes his face.

"Hey, honey. I was just trying to get Kris to eat his food."

"Hummm...I see he has more in his hair than in his mouth."

"You're such a perfectionist. You need to lighten up, Bel."

"I never have any trouble getting him to eat. Do you, Luke?"

"Never, Mom."

Anakin gives the two his 'look of defiance.'

"Okay, _Miss Perfect_; and Luke, shouldn't you be getting to know your future _'outlaw'_ in-laws?"

"No. This is more entertaining." He wets a kitchen towel and walks over to the table. He wipes the baby's face. The toddler takes his dish and shows it to his brother.

"Loo, _'gup gup'_!"

"No. I have pride in my appearance."

Anakin stands over the kitchen sink and cleans up.

"Just you wait until you have kids. You'll be in the same situation."

"Sure, Dad. You better get a move on; I think Mom's waiting for you."

"For what?"

Isabel tries to find a clean spot on the baby then kisses him on the back of the head. She puts on her coat and calls to her husband as she prepares to leave the house.

"Hop to. Boogaloo."

"Where are we going?" He grabs his coat.

"What? Don't I get an _'Anything Day'_?"

"You don't need an 'Anything Day.' You've got us...me and the kids...uhm..." He rethinks his remarks. "Fine. Get your purse. I'll go to the day spa with you."

She shows her husband that she already has her purse and is ready to leave.

"Oh, we're not going to the day spa."

"What?" He follows her out the door. Luke gives him a 'thumbs-up' as Anakin follows his wife out the door. He calls to her as he heads for his speeder. She ignores him. Anakin starts to unlock the speeder door. "Where the heck are we going?"

Isabel stops in front of the YUV.

"Shopping."

"No! I won't do it!" He rethinks his answer after receiving an icy stare from his wife. He suddenly flashes a sheepish smile. "Well, not with these clothes I mean…I should change into my Saturday morning 'on-the town-with-my-lovely-wife attire." He starts to point to the door as he backs away. Isabel folds her arms.

"Let's go."

They drive into town. Anakin pulls into the sleek parking bay. He sees the colossal white building with the bold blue lettering emblazoned across the front. The moving walkway leads the shopper to rows of oversized blue shopping carts. The carts are extra sturdy too. A cruiser could not damage them. The silver protocol droid greeters stand at the entrance to offer their expertise.

"Good afternoon. Welcome to Bed, Bath, and Expanded Universe of home necessities. We are programmed in the language of domestic beautification and contain a database of over 86 billion items."

Anakin laughs. The droids seem to greet every warm body that walks within 20 meters of the entrance whether you are shopping or not. A uniformed Lobot-type cyborg stands at the door to count customers to feed into the store database. Anakin figures there is only one way to get through this insanity. He must take charge.

"I'll drive the cart."

Isabel turns to him.

"It's not a speeder, Anakin."

"We'll see about that. We're going to do one stop shopping. No dawdling and no circling the aisles for stuff we don't need."

"I know one thing you need to do. You need to read the invitations we sent to everyone we invited to the Befana Eve party. They've been on your desk for weeks, Anakin. At least know what they say inside in case someone asks."

"No one ever asks about party invitations. They're just glad to go to a place that's serving free food and alcohol."

As they shop the aisles, Anakin plows pass the other carts.

"So, why are we here, Isabel? You're buying more wedding gifts for Luke and Mara?"

"No, we took care of that already, remember?"

"Obviously not."

"I ordered their gifts online."

"What? Then why are we here?"

"We didn't buy a gift for Mara's parents or for Owen and Beru."

"Oh, right, well, I'll tell you something that will come as a great shock to you. This is the wrong place for both couples. They don't sell road-paving equipment and there are no farming tools. Let's go."

"Don't be a smart aleck."

After spending an hour in the store, they load the YUV and drive to the next location. Isabel does something that Anakin has foreseen but never been subjected to during his marriage to Isabel.

"Anakin, I won't be five minutes. I just want to try this on…and maybe this."

He sees her grab a third item off the rack. A sales woman helps her and selects an additional dress for her to try. Anakin stamps his foot like a young child.

"Aww, come on!" Anakin is in the middle of his refusal but Isabel has since disappeared behind the golden door.

Anakin looks around then takes a seat and sulks. He sits quietly. Luckily, he has the sofa to himself. He takes out his EPhone and selects a number. There is no answer. He senses someone pass by him. He sneaks a glance. It is a couple from his children's school. They speak in hushed whispers before rushing off. A saleswoman walks over and hands him a glass of champagne.

"Mr. Skywalker, this is compliments of our store. We hope you're having an exceptional shopping experience."

"Bribing me with alcohol so I can forget how long I've been sitting out here? You tell that wife of mine that this is the last time she'll catch me off-guard."

The woman smiles.

"Have a nice day."

Anakin sneers and mimics her. _'Have a nice day.'_ He does not believe she heard a single word he said as she walks back into the dressing room. A few officers are in the store. They see him sitting on the plush sofa. Anakin is like an Eopie in headlights. He knows this is going to be the talk of the military. He barks at them and an older woman walking with her husband.

"That's right! I'm sitting in the dress department holding a purse! Keep it moving!"

The officers quickly scuttle off before he puts down his champagne flute to choke them. Anakin takes another sip from his glass. Someone approaches the sofa and takes a seat. Anakin is waiting for someone to make a comment. He promises the outcome will not be pleasant. Another man takes a seat to his right.

"The wife got you too, eh?" There is no response from the Dark Lord. The stranger continues to speak. "Happens to me every year. You must be a newbie. How long have you been married?"

"Nine years."

"Nine years? You got off easy if this is just happening to you now. You would think I would know better by now but…here I am…surrounded by shopping bags and holding this overstuffed purse."

Anakin looks ad Isabel's purse. It is smaller and not stuffed at all. It is an elegant, classy handbag. He smiles.

"I love spending time with my wife."

"We all love our wives. We love them in spite of that 'shopping gene' they have. That's what makes them insane."

The two strangers nod in agreement and smile.

"Well, you've got a point there."

Anakin breathes a disappointed sigh.

"I could be home in my study in front a warm fireplace watching pod racing."

"Anyone got today's results?"

Anakin looks at his EPhone. "Here it is. Aldar Beedo Jr. at 15:50:105, Teemto Pagalies III and Gig Gasgano came in second and third."

The other man sighs.

"That's another 500 credits I lost." He extends his hand. "The name's Sonny. Glad to meet you."

The man to his left elbows him as an old buddy would.

"You hang with us. We'll show you the ropes. I'm Marty. There are a few things to learn about waiting in department stores and shopping malls."

"Really? You guys have _'rules?'_"

"Sure! You have to know how to work it. There's an up side and a down side."

"Is that right?"

"Certainly. You gotta stay close by…no wandering off in the next department or on another floor. You gotta be around in case she wants you to check out her dress. Be careful what you say or you'll be banished from the bedroom. One poor guy slipped up, told his wife her dress was a little too tight…"

The other man interrupts.

"No, he told her the dress was too small for her body. Oooh, you shoulda seen the look she gave to him…He was banished from the house for a week. The other rule is don't let the bags outta your sight or she'll find a reason to poison your food."

"What?"

"I kid you not. It happened to a guy. It was in all the papers. You're one of us now. Watch us. Sit back. The benefits outweigh the negatives. Sometimes a nice looking girl strolls in the aisle or in the boutique. Mama-mia! God help me, I gotta look."

"But don't let the wife catch you. You have to be discreet. I wear sunglasses. People think I'm blind. I get a good look at the chickies...badabing! No one's the wiser!"

"Are your wives in the fitting room too?"

"No! They're down the aisle buying shoes. It's a zoo in there. Befana Eve, you know. A man won't stand a chance in the designer shoe salon. Those women are animals!"

The man on Anakin's other side concurs.

"They're vicious. They kill their own"

"That's the truth. My wife Sylvia saw this beautiful pair of shoes. Even she was afraid to fight for it; and she's as scrappy as they come when you're talking shoe sale. The woman that finally bought this pair of shoes and matching handbag, I know did time. They all want to make a showing at the cathedral at Midnight Mass."

Anakin asks innocently.

"Who's going to look at their feet in the pews?"

The older gentleman points purposely to Anakin with his large hands.

"Thank you! My point exactly! It's a waste of money is what it is!"

Anakin is like a student eager to learn.

"Well, you gentlemen are a wealth of useless information."

"Thanks! Just do as we do. You'll be alright."

Anakin takes another sip from his glass. He can see someone else walking in his direction. It is a familiar face. He lowers his glass as the man approaches.

"Tell, me, Anakin Skywalker, is there a place for me on this sofa?"

"Hey, Obi-Wan Kenobi! Park it right here you old fool!" He pats the empty space between him and Sonny, the man to his right.

"What brings you out here to the department store?"

Anakin points his thumb in the direction of the fitting room.

"She's in the fitting room."

Obi-Wan glances at Anakin's new associates on the sofa. He strokes his beard.

"Oh, I see. Are they giving out drinks? Are they free?"

Anakin snaps and holds up his champagne glass.

"A round of drinks for my compadres, please."

The saleswoman nods. She returns with a tray of drinks with finger sandwiches. Anakin introduces Obi-Wan to his newfound friends. The men chat and laugh. Obi-Wan looks around.

"How long have you been out here, Anakin?"

Anakin glances at his watch.

"Long enough. Why are you here?"

"Bunny's doing a men's fragrance demonstration downstairs. It's her holiday GWP promotion."

"GWP?"

"'_Gift with Purchase.'_ You get a free Millennium travel pouch when you buy a gift set. So, how are you, Anakin? I sensed you were somewhere in the store."

Anakin grins.

"I'm just peachy...got my designer handbag, two new buddies..."

"If you look in that purse, you might find your dignity."

."You came along for moral support, and got sucked into that gig, huh?"

"Yes. I was her 'test' customer to draw in a crowd."

"Oh, I'm sure you had no problem doing that. Who's going to buy that after seeing you as the model. They're looking for someone younger."

"It's all in the attitude. You have to give off that aura of youth and well being. You know…It's almost like that ham acting your father does on stage every night."

"Obi-Wan, are you wearing make-up?"

"It's winter bronzer for men. It protects and moisturizes…"

Anakin stares as Obi-Wan repeats Bunny's promotional script. The other men stare too. Obi-Wan finally stops himself.

"Good heavens, what am I saying?" He searches in his coat for a handkerchief to wipe the application from his face. He sees Anakin giggle. «Stop laughing. Help me take this mask off my face."

"But your skin will dry…"

"You're not funny, Anakin."

Anakin opens Isabel's purse and pulls out a tissue. He starts to wipe his former master's face. The same officers who walked by earlier when he was sitting alone slow down and look. A woman with a young boy walk by. The kid points.

"Look mommy; It's the man from the holovid. He's got a girl's pocketbook."

The mother yanks him by the arm.

"Randy, it's not nice to point…just because he's special."

Anakin looks up and sees them in the aisle staring. Anakin throws up his arms like an attacking Wampa.

"Arrggggh! Beat it before you get coal in your stocking!"

"Yeah! He's got the death sentence on 12 systems."

Anakin turns to Sonny.

"No I don't."

"But it sounds good, don't it?"

Anakin smiles. The young boy begins to wail.

"Waahh!"

The child hides behind his mother's coat. A tourist from Alderaan takes his holocam to record the scene. Anakin wags his finger at the tourist.

"Tell me, do you feel lucky? Keep moving before it runs out."

Three voices behind him concur.

"Yeah! Beat it, before you get a _'sore'_ throat."

"In your face! We don't need the likes of you here!"

The tourist scampers away. Anakin looks around at his newfound friends. The men are having the best time of their lives.

"Thanks, guys."

"You're alright in our book, Mr. Skywalker… You too, Master Kenobi. You're a fine couple of swells."

"Thank you, gentlemen." He turns to Anakin. "Got any mints in that purse, Madame?"

Anakin rolls his eyes .

"Don't judge me _'Mr. Tatooine Bronzer' _model. I'm not the one wearing the make-up. Here...take one and pass it around...just one. I don't want her yelling at me about giving her stuff away."

Each man takes a mint. Anakin stuffs the remainder of the tin back inside the purse. A few minutes later Isabel exits the dressing room. The men are relaxed and laughing.

"Anakin, I need my purse."

"Allow me."

He stands and makes his way to the register. He opens the purse and pulls out the credit card. He is overly happy. She glances over at the three men. Obi-Wan looks up and raises his champagne flute.

"Isabel, how are you my dear?"

She is about to chew out the old wizard for getting her husband drunk but the longer she looks at his face, she realizes it is not worth the effort. Besides, she suspects Anakin has done the damage on his own. She gives the Jedi Master a kiss.

"Hello, Obi-Wan. Come on, Anakin."

"Hold on. I waited for you. I have to say farewell to my homies…my brethren." The men engage in a group hug.

"I love you, man."

"I love you too. May the Force be with you. Gotta go. The ball and chain…you know…" He hints to them by nodding in his wife's general direction. Obi-Wan is confused in his slightly inebriated state.

"What's wrong with your neck, Anakin?"

"Have a seat, Master. Here…" He opens the purse again and hands Obi-Wan a few tissues. "You look as if you fell asleep on the beach with Venetian blind over your face."

"Oh, thank-you, Anakin. You're a good friend."

Anakin follows Isabel out of the department. They leave the store and get into the speeder.

"Where to, milady? Anything for my lady on her '_Anything Day.'_"

"Are you making fun of me?"

"Never."

"We have one more stop to make."

"I can't wait for this. Where are you forcing me to go now?"

"If you want to drop me off I can take a taxi home."

"Calm down. I'm here for you."

Anakin is pleased with their last stop. They wind up at the Day Spa. Anakin sips more champagne and strawberries while getting a relaxing massage.

"You know what, 'Bel? I really had a good time today…after that first stop. That sure was a disaster."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. Isn't that your fourth glass of champagne?"

"Your point being…?"

"I'm driving."

"You're not driving. Anakin calls to the attendant. "Bring me a pot of coffee."

During the drive home, Anakin looks at his wife.

"You know, I made a lot of sacrifices today. I believe I have an _'Anytime Day' _coming to me."

"You must be joking."

"I deserve it."

"Fine."

"I'll see you tonight after the kids go to sleep. Payback's a bitch ain't it?"

"It's supposed to be a selfless act. You don't play fair."

Isabel makes a mental note not to ask for another 'Anytime Day.'

'Stormtroopers Holiday'

It is Befana Eve morning. Anakin is on his way up to his office. He totally misses the huge wreath outside the building and the garland hanging throughout the lobby. The decorations have been up for over a week. Holiday music plays over the speakers in the elevator. A storm trooper boards the elevator on the mezzanine level. Anakin turns his head. The trooper is tapping his foot and humming along with the music. The elevator stops at the cafeteria floor. Two Imperial officers enter. They carry plates of food and gifts from the company Befana Eve party. Lieutenant Venka and Commander Praji salute the Dark Lord. They begin to hum and whistle respectively. Anakin stands at the back of the elevator.

The officers eventually file out on the seventh floor, except for Lieutenant Daine Jir. The elfin-looking officer lingers as the other men exit. Anakin gives the Lieutenant a threatening glance. The officer hurries out just as the elevator door closes.

Anakin is alone. He tries to whistle the tune until the elevator opens on his floor. He walks into his office. Gladys is at her desk. A small tree adorns the reception area. The tiny lights twinkle. Gladys wears her favorite silk-wool blend green dress with matching jacket. It is typical fashion for a woman her age. On the left side of her jacket, she wears a festive wreath pin with tiny bells that actually ring. Her beautiful hair white hair is sensibly coiffed for a woman of her maturity. Anakin feels a pep talk coming on.

She always knows the right thing to say…even when Anakin does not want to hear it.

"Good morning, sir."

"Good morning, Gladys."

"You don't sound so cheerful this morning."

"I'm just fine." He looks around the reception area at the holiday decorations. It looks as if a box of ornaments exploded. "What's this crap?"

"The management office thought it would be nice to decorate the building. I think this is lovely."

"Yeah, real nice. It had the Jar-Jar written all over it."

"Why would you think that?"

"I saw the plasma screen inside the elevator as the weather forecast was crawling. _'Hippy Bufuuna Eeb?'_ Apparently no one took the time to proofread his text message."

"It was done with good intentions. The Imperial Officers Holiday Committee let everyone add his or her own little touches to the event. No one went crazy."

"That's debatable. Well, at least the insanity stops out here. I had to listen to the insufferable whistling in the elevator on the way up here. Several officers tapping their feet and humming Befana Eve tunes surrounding me...I'm going to have a talk with Governor Tarkin to put a stop to it."

"Oh cut it out. It's the holiday season. You'll do no such thing. I know you don't really mean it, Sir. I'm sure your house is looking festive right now."

"How would I know? There are caterers and work crews traipsing through the place. I have no place to go. I can't even use my study because of the noise and traffic. At least I still have the sanctuary which is my office."

He grabs his mail from the bin on her desk. Gladys remembers to say something to him as he heads to his office.

"Oh, sir…I was about to tell you…"

Anakin opens the door to his office.

"What the hell!"

Gladys follows him into the office with a fresh pot of Bimmisaari calming teas just in case the situation requires it. Anakin looks at his desk. In the corner there sits a 12-inch tall tree. It is a real Sallustan Bonsai Pine with twinkling lights. The fragrance fills the room. He stands frozen in front of his desk.

Gladys smiles proudly.

"Isn't just lovely, Anakin dear? It makes your office look special."

"Who said I wanted _'special'_?"

He stares at the tiny tree as if it is a red-hot Mustafar lava rock.

"Now, Anakin, you need a little 'pick-me-up.' I thought you would like something nice to enjoy in your office this holiday season. You've never had anything like this on your desk before."

"I don't like it."

"Yes you do. You just don't know it yet. Smells nice, doesn't it?" She ushers him to his chair. He sits at his desk. She fills his cup with the hot tea and some fresh scones from the Executive kitchen. She smiles and laces her fingers in front of her like a proud mother hen. Anakin lifts the cup to his lips. His eyes follow her as he sips. She backs out of the office. "Now, you enjoy your tea and scones while I check on your first appointment."

"What first appointment? Hey! Gladys…Don't make me fire you!" He takes a bite from one of the small scones. He is not particularly happy about this 'thing' on his office desk until he reads the note attached. His first appointment walks through the door. Anakin is halfway into a smile as he reads the note. The smile quickly disappears.

"Good Morning, Your Lordship."

Anakin sips his tea to wash down the scone so he can speak. He sets the porcelain cup back on the saucer.

"Oh, good morning General Tagge. To what do I owe this visit?"

"I was told you wanted to see me, Sir."

Anakin sorts through his data screen for a moment. Tagge remains standing. Anakin can see him waiting from the corner of his eye. He figures it is best to get this meeting over with so he can enjoy the rest of his day alone in his office. Anakin points to the two gundarkian leather chairs facing his desk. He barely looks up from the data pad on the blotter

"Oh…have a seat. This could take a few minutes."

Tagge sits in the leather armchair. He notices the tree.

"I see you're getting into the holiday spirit with your funny little tree."

Anakin barks back.

"For your information, General, it's a lovely tree and not at all funny. It's a special gift from my wife and kids. I bet you don't have one in your office."

"No, I can't say that I have."

"What are you a scrooge?"

"Not at all, I'm…"

Anakin pulls away from the data screen and interrupts him.

"You're lacking any holiday spirit. Anyway, your transfer request has come through. You've been promoted to Admiral of the Army Forces on Carida. Congratulations, Admiral."

Tagge is stunned.

"The Caridan System, Your Lordship?"

"This is a promotion, Admiral. You did express a desire to leave your command here on Coruscant. I know you've been unhappy for a while."

"Well…I-I'm honored to receive the post…I know we've had our differences in the past. I hope you understand that my request was not personal."

"Tagge, it doesn't matter anymore. You'll have your base on Andra. You'll only have to transmit an annually report to headquarters."

"Yes, Your Lordship. Thank you."

Anakin stands and shakes Tagge's hand.

"Congratulations, Admiral. Here are your papers and your new set of officers' bars."

"Thank you. Sir. Happy holidays to you."

"And also to you, Admiral."

Tagge leaves the office with his papers and velvet case containing his new officer's bars.

Anakin is alone again. He is about to pick up the phone when the intercom lights up.

"What is it, Gladys?"

"Your next appointment is here."

"You're trying to kill my happy mood aren't you?"

"What happy mood, sir?"

"Don't play games with me, Gladys. Who's coming to see me? Never mind. I know. Send him in..."

Anakin closes his eyes and rubs his temples. The door opens. Anakin stands as the visitor enters the office.

"Admiral Ozzel, it's been awhile. How's retirement? Please, have a seat."

Ozzel sits. He is wearing khaki pants, oxford white cloth shirt, a red cardigan and a loden quilted barn jacket. Instead of the black leather officers' jack boots; he is wearing tan nuna leather tassel loafers. He looks as if he should be going for a ride in the Naboo countryside with a trusty tracking dog. Heavens knows he could use a good hound. He doubts the retired officer could find his way out of the woods let alone track down rebels on Hoth.

"Quite enjoyable actually. I had time to reassess my life while out on disability. This is the perfect time to retire. I'm a rare mineral appraiser. I got my license online a few months ago. The cable network asked me to do a few shows; perhaps you've seen it, "Mineral Road Show."

"No, I can't say I have. What else have you been doing with yourself?"

"I've been considering several other consulting jobs. The network program 'The Galactic Most Wanted' asked me to be a guest profiler to help them to track fugitives from the law; smugglers, mobsters, you know…the usual scum. It sounds like something I'm good at, especially with my eye for detail."

"Really? Shocking."

"Oh, yes. It seems my expertise is in high demand."

"You don't say? So, how are you feeling?"

"Much better. The physical therapy and medication has relieved the nerve damage, although I still have some residual pain in my neck. I'm improving everyday."

"Well, good for you. You look good. You're dressed like a civilian now. You're a regular man of leisure."

"Thank you, my Lord. I feel rejuvenated."

Anakin has a big grin on his face.

"Glad to hear it, Admiral. So…here are your final papers. I just need you to sign each sheet where the check-marks are indicated, and you're officially a private citizen."

"Ah, yes. I forgot about all of the particulars." He accepts the papers from Anakin and eagerly signs the required documents. What is this last page? A waiver of some sort?"

"Oh, just a legality. The attorneys suggested I include it. It's just a silly little document saying you won't file any lawsuits against the Imperial Military or 'me'…heh-heh… for any and all injuries whether intentional or accidental during your tenure as a military officer for the Empire…yada, yada, yada. Legal mumbo jumbo."

Ozzel signs then slides the papers back across the desk. Anakin quickly checks to make certain every page is signed accordingly. He smiles.

"Thanks."

Ozzel points to the tree on the desk.

"What a lovely tree. Was it a gift?"

"Why… yes it was. Thank you."

"It smells heavenly."

"It does, doesn't it? So, how are you spending the holiday?"

"Oh, the wife and I are visiting the son and grandchildren on Carida. How is your lovely family, Your Lordship?"

Anakin is distracted. These last comments from the Admiral give Anakin pause.

"Oh! Fine…fine. Kids are growing like weeds."

"I understand another wedding is on the horizon? Your eldest, isn't it?"

"Yes. Luke is tying the knot." Anakin sounds quiet and reflective as he responds. He lets Ozzel keep talking. After all the insanity over the last quarter century orchestrated by the former Emperor, Anakin no longer feels the need to cause this hapless officer anymore ill will. 'What the hell is the matter with him?' This is a weird moment. Anakin blinks and refocuses on Ozzel's last remarks before he zoned out on whatever the topic was.

"He's a fine young man. Well, I wish them the best, sir. I will be n the lecture circuit for the first half of the New Year but I have sent them a gift from their registry. I hope you don't mine me being so bold."

"Well, that's very kind of you, Admiral. Thank you."

"It was my, pleasure. I hope you weren't terribly disappointed in my service to the Empire."

"You performed your best, that's all I ever expected, Admiral."

"Thank you, My Lord. So, I must be on my way. Retirement waits for no one."

"So true." Thank you for coming into the office so close to the holiday to finalize this paperwork."

"It has been a pleasure working under your command, My Lord."

"Well, it has been an unforgettable adventure working with you, Admiral. Happy Befana Eve."

"And the same to you, sir. Heaven bless you and your charming wife and family."

"Thanks. Enjoy your trip."

He walks Ozzel to the door after they shake hands. The Admiral bids Gladys goodbye. Anakin quickly closes his door and makes a call.

"Military Research please…hello…are you the operator in charge? Okay…weapons technician…listen up, I want all Sun Crusher missile silos deactivated. No, not defcon three two or one…I want them shut down…indefinitely. Do you understand? This is the Commander-In-Chief… Do I sound as if I'm joking? You're going to have a crappy New Year if you don't follow my orders…you can't what? Can't breathe?...feeling better now?...that's what I thought. Thank you. What? Yeah…right back at you."

Anakin sips his tea but it is now cold. He presses the button on the intercom.

"Blagh! Gladys!"

"Yes, your cheerfulness?"

"My tea is cold."

"I'll bring in a fresh carafe…oh; you have your next appointment."

"What? You're screwing with me now, aren't you?"

"No, sir. You set this appointment up yourself just last week."

"I did?"

"Yes, you did."

"Was it before or after my meds?"

"Before, sir."

"Oh, hell..…uhm…is he here?"

"Yes. Standing before me."

"Are we on speaker?"

"I'll bring in your tea."

"There's coal in you're your stocking this year, Mrs. Jensen, you can count on it!"

Gladys responds in her typical motherly fashion and ignores everything he is saying.

"I'm sending Captain Needa in right now, sir." Anakin can hear her speaking to the officer. "You'll be taking tea with the commander won't you? He's anxious to see you."

"Oh, really? …What sort of…well…what I mean to ask is…"

Gladys interrupts him.

"He's in a great mood. He's not the fearsome boss everyone thinks."

Anakin speaks into the phone receiver as it rests on her shoulder.

"_I'm still here, Gladys." _

Needa gulps. Gladys hangs up and takes the officer on her arm.

"I'll walk you to the door. He's really a lovely man. You'll see."

She walks with Captain Needa to Anakin's office and opens the door. Anakin is fumbling angrily with the buttons on the phone.

"Gladys! What the _'eff'_…." He looks up from the phone which he is about to rip from the jack. He sits frozen at his desk then pretends to wipe off the phone. He smiles nervously as a nexu caught with a scurrier in its mouth. Gladys disappears and closes the door. Anakin takes a deep breath and shows Needs the chair. "Welcome, Captain Needa. Please sit."

"Thank you, my Lord."

"How are you, Needa?"

"Very well sir…"

"Tell me, how long have you been in service with the Imperial Navy?"

Needa responds with some hesitancy.

"Most of my adult life I guess."

"You sound nervous, Commander. Relax, I didn't call you up here to reprimand you…"

Gladys enters the office with a silver tea service and briefly interrupts the meeting.

"Here you go, gentlemen, a nice new pot of tea. Enjoy your meeting."

Anakin forces a smile.

"Thank you, Gladys."

She pinches Anakin on the cheek.

"You're very welcome, sir." She pats Needa on the shoulder as he takes his cup. "Isn't he just delightful?"

"Yes, ma'm."

Anakin clears his throat. He gives her a scornful look. "Ahem…_Thank You, Gladys_.""

"I'll leave you two alone to chat."

Anakin and Captain are finally alone. So far, he has had a morning of appointments with people who have repeatedly disappointed him in the past. He has already met with the troops and he has extended his holiday greeting in the way of a speech broadcast over the Imperial Military airwaves.

The two men sit silently sipping tea. Finally Captain Needa speaks.

"Nice tree, sir. It looks perfect on your desk."

"Thank you. It was a surprise gift from my wife. The children signed their names on the card." He sets down his cup and proudly holds up the gift card. He sets it back down on his desk to continue with the business at hand. "Captain, do you know why I called you in here today?"

"My yearly review, My Lord?"

"No. You know how well you performed. For some reason I'm still not sure of, I have a feeling you're going to be around a lot longer than I realized."

"You mean I'm doing a good job."

"No, that's not it. Let's not discuss your work for now. So, what are you doing for the holidays?"

"Oh…My wife and I were going to have supper at the officers' club with some other families."

"Cancel them."

"I beg your pardon, sir?"

"Cancel your mess hall plans."

"Well, it's not a mess hall; it's a lovely place for commissioned officers…"

Anakin cuts him off mid-sentence.

"Cancel them. That's an order. You and your family will join me at my house on Befana Eve."

"As you serious, my Lord?"

"Look at my face. Is this serious?"

"Uhm.."

"Relax, Needa, it's not a trick question. My daughter's in-laws are coming, and my son's future in-laws are coming and I don't want to sit around talking spy games with one or listening to road paving stories with the other guy all night. I need to keep my sanity. I promise you'll have fun. You know we Skywalkers can throw a fun party. Besides, Obi-Wan Kenobi will be there. We can see how plastered he gets and have a few laughs."

"Well…I have children."

"Bring the kids. They'll play with my kids."

"Okay. Thank you."

"Great. Hurry up and finish your tea, I've got meetings after this."

"Oh, of course." Captain Needa quickly sets down his teacup and stands at attention. "Thank you very much for the tea and for the gracious invitation. My family and I will be honored to join you on Befana Eve."

"Perfect! Not get out of here and report to your post. We've got a galaxy to protect."

"Yes, sir"

Needa salutes the Dark Lord and leaves the office.

A few moments later, Anakin screams for Gladys to come in to his office. She appears with pad and stylus in hand.

"You rang, Master?"

"Don't get cute, Gladys, I should fire you for that last stunt you pulled. Have a seat."

"Thank you, sire."

"So, what's my favorite Imperial Executive Secretary doing for the Befana Eve holiday?"

"I'm staying home. My children are traveling. They want to celebrate the holidays in the tropics of Yavin."

"Uli's working all night too….hummm… I know…why you don't come to my house. Stay over. We have the perfect guestroom for you."

"Are you alright, Anakin?"

"I just want to see you there."

"Very well. I'd be happy to come. Thank you."

"Wonderful. The circle is complete."

"What circle is that?"

"People."

"People?"

"Don't go questioning me about this, Gladys; just humor me and let me enjoy the day."

"Alright."

Anakin leaves the office after lunch. He takes the ride down in the elevator. Several officers and troopers get in during a couple of stops. They are humming to the filtered music. The tune is catchy. It starts with a familiar overture:

'_Da-dum-dadum…da da dum da da dum… Da-dum-dadum…da da dum da da dum...'_

The overture fades in with a popular holiday tune.

'_It's the most wonderful time of the year._

_With the Sith overthrown_

_and everyone telling you,_

_"Be of good cheer,"_

_It's the most wonderful time of the year._

_There'll be probes droids for tracking,_

_Devices for cloaking and_

_AT's out in the snow._

_there'll be Force Ghost stories and_

_tales of the glories of battlefronts_

_long, long ago._

_It's the most wonderful time of the year._

The music fades back to the official march.

'_Da-dum-dadum…da da dum da da dum… Da-dum-dadum…da da dum da da dum...' _

As Anakin leaves the building, he turns to glance up at the wreath on the building. It makes him smile. He heads for his speeder that one of the valet troopers brings to the front of the building.

Anakin makes a stop to pick up a few gifts he ordered. He returns home. The house is decorated beautifully. The furniture has been steam cleaned. Catering droids are toiling away in the kitchen. They must be prepping for Befana Eve.

There is no sign of his wife. He does see his youngest daughter pace by him carrying a section of holiday garland.

"Hello, Sweet pea."

She smiles sweetly.

"Hello, Daddy! The little girl who usually stops everything when she sees her father continues on pass him.

"Hey, I don't get a hug or a kiss?"

She slows down long enough to tilt her face towards him to receive a kiss. She hurries off to the terrace. The glass doors are covered with craft paper. Something is going on; he can feel it. He pivots to see a worker droid and a human carpenter whisk by him. He recognizes the human. He is an employee of that Tantive IV Contractors. The worker is wearing work boots and a tool belt. His work trousers are around his hips revealing his holiday-themed boxers along with his hairy holiday butt crack. Lovely. The man tips his cap to Anakin. Anakin responds with a nod and continues on to his study.

He sees a note the door handle. _'Your study is available for your use.'_ He removes the note and walks into his sanctuary. The study looks the same. The rug has been vacuumed. He closes the door and sets his packages on the desk. He hangs up his coat and looks around. The windows and door overlooking his side of the terrace are covered from the outside and the door is looked. Fine, let them run around with their secret mission. He holes up in his study wrapping gifts before going upstairs to take a shower.

By the time he emerges from the shower and changes his clothes, the work crew is gone. He hears new voices. Anakin walks from the master bedroom to the top to the staircase. It is the women from the Bimmisaari Bridge and Tea Society. They follow a man in his 60's like a flock of silver-haired groupies. They are dressed in their best holiday haute couture and matching gloves no less. They look like the Stepford wives when they hit their 50's and 60's. He sees their fearless leader. It is none other than Professor Higgins. The esteemed professor looks around at his bevy of followers and smiles.

Anakin lets out a sigh and decides to brave the onslaught.

"Good afternoon, ladies, Professor."

Higgins looks up the stairs then around at his _'followers'_.

"This is just perfectly grand. The Lord of the house! Your timing couldn't be better."

Anakin mutters to himself as he heads down the steps.

"Oh, wonderful, we have company already."

Anakin forces a smile as he says this. He reaches the bottom of the stairs to greet his welcoming committee. The Dark Lord is horrified but not surprised to see his mother-in-law in part the crowd. Ouisanne steps in front of the group and plants a kiss on his cheek. She is beaming.

"Ladies, this is my favorite son-in-law the holovidstar." Anakin shrugs his shoulders and smiles as his mother-in-law embarrasses him in front of the group.

The women applaud. One woman steps forward. She is dressed in navy boiled bantha wool knit suit. She wears a special holiday pin commemorating fallen soldiers from the Clone Wars and another for the Yavin Women's Society. It is Madame Dodonna.

"You certainly told off that Robbe Nostler. You exposed him for the phony that he is. I never did care for his interviewing tactics. Making people cry on holocam. What a shame."

"I never cried."

"Well, no one would blame you if you did, dear. You're a good man. We want you to know all mothers across the galaxy praise you for speaking out about those horrid little Jawas. We won't be keeping you Mr. Skywalker. We only wanted to feature your holiday terrace on the cover of 'Seasons of Hoth' issue of 'Teas & Gardens' magazine. Professor Higgins's is this year's chairman of the committee."

Anakin smiles.

"Is that right?"

Higgins bows respectfully.

"Some may feel you had an unfair advantage being the fact you are Mrs. Nor's son-in-law; but I assure you, your holiday lights are the grandest and most tastefully done I must say."

Another woman from the judging committee chimes in.

"Well, it certainly isn't like some of those ghastly displays across town. The CorusED Company had to come out in the dead of night to restore power. It seams that an entire neighborhood lost power due to a few homes went overboard with the lighting. There was a blackout in the area for hours."

"Is that a fact?"

Anakin notices a few people standing off to the side. Madame Dodonna introduces them.

"Oh, Mr. Skywalker, this is and Mr. Marvel the editor-in-chief of the Coruscant office of 'Teas & Garden's Magazine and the magazine's official holographer."

The older gentleman sports a white waxed handlebar mustache. He is wearing what resembles a bankers' dark pinstripe suit, grey vest, and black shoes buffed so bright that you can see the reflection of the twinkling lights on them. A monocle rests on his right cheek.

"It is an honor to be here. If you please, Your Lordship, we would like to get a few images of you for our magazine."

Anakin cannot believe this is happening on Befana Eve with throngs of family and guests arriving in a few hours.

"Of course. Nothing else is happening today."

Anakin's flippant remark does not register with the elderly gentleman. Mr. Marvel seems anxious to start this private ceremony honoring the Dark Lord.

"Oh, quiet evening at home, hey?"

"So, what do you need me to do?"

Mr. Marvel looks to Professor Higgins.

"Professor Higgins, I think a photo shoot in the garden would be apropos."

"Indeed."

The professor is about to lead Anakin out towards the garden with the group. Anakin hears someone calling him .

"Hey! Wait up! I want to be in the picture!"

Anakin turns. It is his little girl.

"Leia, I didn't know you were at the house this early. I thought I sensed you." He continues outside. The holographer is arranging the group for the holograph. Leia positions herself close to him in the front of the group.

"I'm here to support you, Dad. Scooch over."

Anakin hears his name again.

"Me too, Daddy! Wait for me! I had to change my clothes."

Anakin stops and sees his younger daughter in her holiday dress. He takes Ana-Lena by the hand. Leia does some last minute primping as she prepares for the holograph. Ana-Lena stands in front of her father. Anakin looks around the garden. The display is beautiful. He tries not to give the impression that this is the first time he is seeing the garden all decorated. He decides to take credit for something he did not do.

Mr. Marvel presents Anakin with a crystal plaque and a medal on a green and white silk ribbon.

You have quite the gift, Your Lordship by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Oz Universitartus Committiartum E Pluribus Unum, I hereby confer upon you the honorary Bimmisaari Fellowship of the Gardens, and I hereby confer to you the honorary degree of ThD."

Anakin is amused but holds back a laugh.

"What's that? A theology diploma?"

"My word, man, no, no. ThD. Doctor of Horticulture Degree."

"Oh! Cool!"

Anakin is amused because he has never so much as planted a seed in this garden unless you count the pera core he dropped there a few years ago while trying to toss t in the waste bin. That pera tree was a complete fluke. Everyone applauds.

After the session and the award presentation, the crew and the entourage file out after the ceremony. Anakin stops Professor Higgins.

"So, professor, will Mrs. Higgins be joining us this evening?" Ana-Lena swings on his arm. Leia grabs the plaque and medal. Higgins smiles as he watches Ana-Lena hum a melody then answers Anakin's question.

"Oh, yes. She wouldn't miss it. She's just finishing up at the hospital about now. Lots of new little ones coming into the world. New life stops for no one."

"You're right about that. Well, see you a bit later."

"Cheerio."

"No, we're not serving breakfast. I believe it's a sit-down dinner."

Higgins smiles slightly, puts on his top hat and leaves.

"I see. Well, ta-tah. The missus and I will see you later."

The house is soon quiet again. He thinks about Owen and Beru who should be stepping across the Skywalker threshold any minute now. That would surely put a damper on his day. For now, he basks in the glow of his renewed notoriety. He turns to his daughters. Ana-Lena is quietly singing a holiday song she learned in school. Anakin folds his arms and listens for a moment.

'_Fah who for-aze!_

_Dah who dor-aze!_

_Welcome B'fana,_

_Befana Day!'_

He smiles as Ana-Lena finishes her song.

"So, where is your mother?"

Leia answers.

"She's busy."

"Doing what? Deciding which shoes to wear tonight? Where is everybody?"

Ana-Lena responds this time.

"Everyone's getting ready for Befana Eve, Daddy. Everyone knows that."

Anakin looks around as if he senses something.

"Where are the droids?"

Ana-Lena points.

"Right there…behind you, Daddy."

He turns slightly. "I was just teasing you. I knew they were here the whole time….but seriously, where is everyone?"

"They went shopping."

"Oh, it's sort of late to go shopping. The stores will be closing soon."

"Or maybe they went to pick up Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru at the Spaceport. Yeah, that's it. Daddy?"

"Yes, sweet pea?"

"Can I help decorate the tree?"

"Yes. Of course you may."

"Li-An said I was still too little."

"You're just the right age. Sweet pea."

"Thank you, Daddy." She gives him a kiss on the cheek.

Anakin heads upstairs. His wife appears. She must have been in her boudoir the whole time. She looks lovely. He kisses her once he reaches the top of the stairs.

"Hey, I was looking for you. Did you know about the visitors from your mom's Tea Society?"

"How was it?"

"Weird…interesting. Why weren't you there?"

"That was your moment, sweetie. You should get dressed. The dinner guests will be arriving shortly."

"What do you mean? I did change."

"No. You're not wearing that. I set out a nice suit for you."

"You mean I have to get dressed up for these people"

"They are not _'these people'_, sweetie. They are our future in-laws. They're going to be part of the family."

"That's just great. Last summer we got 'in-lawed' with Double-o-know-it-all, womanizing, globetrotting, treasure stealing Solo's. Now the Clampett's."

"Who are the Clampett's?"

"I don't know but the name makes me think of the Jade family."

He visualizes Mama Carmella tied to a rocking chair atop the beat-up family speeder. He almost forgets that his wife is speaking to him.

"Anakin, this is going to be a lovely evening. I just want you to look nice and enjoy yourself."

"Alright, alright…but that's it…."

He goes to the master bedroom to do her bidding. Some master bedroom this is! He is definately not the _'master'_ here.

The rest of the Skywalker children return home with Owen and Beru in tow. They all participate in decorating the tree but it will not be lit until midnight. Owen is uncharacteristically buoyant this holiday. He even clowns with the children by donning a St. Nick Babbo Befana hat. Mara helps Luke string popcorn for the tree but more goes into her stomach as she sits on the sofa and directs. The boys protest. Li-An has a few words for her.

"Listen, greedy guts, it's our tree, you let us do the decorating."

Alex agrees.

"Yeah!"

Han laughs.

"They told you."

Mara sits with the bowl on her lap as she is about to stuff her mouth with a handful of popcorn.

"Let them have their fun, the little scurriers. They haven't seen the last of me!"

END OF PART I

To be Continued - 'Silent Night….Not!'


	150. Chapter 150Holidays at the Skywalker's P

_Chapter 150_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Crowded House, Holiday House – PART II'_

'_Uninvited , and It's Understood'_

'_Table Talk'_

'_Re-Gift Sith'_

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Anakin decides to take a nap before that rowdy Jade clan arrives. Ana-Lena is practicing a tune on the piano. She sees her father going up the stairs.

"Daddy, we have to rehearse our Befana Eve Song."

"We rehearsed all last week. Alright, after my nap, sweet pea Jr."

"But you promised. We want it to be perfect."

"Are you sure your two brothers are on-board with this?"

"They promised too."

"Alright, we'll do it before Mass…okay?"

"Okay."

"I'm going to take a nap now. Practice quietly."

"I will."

He continues upstairs. Ana-Lena hits a bad note on the piano. Anakin cringes. She is getting better. He hurries to his room and closes the door before he hears anymore.

That James Solo will be arriving soon with that chatty wife of his. Solo will cruise the room with his cigar and Caamas in one hand and the other hand in search of some strange woman's fanny. His socialite wife doesn't seem to mind. He doesn't care so much that there will be guests; he would prefer not to have to mingle with them. Inviting all of these people is going to come back to bite him in the ass. All Anakin wants is to spend this special evening with his kids. Is that so wrong?

Almost two hours pass. No one has come upstairs to wake him. He glances at the clock on the nightstand. He freshens up then changes into the 'party-go-lightly-holiday get-up' that his wife laid out for him. He runs his fingers through his hair and looks in the mirror…not bad! _'Intergalactic Quarterly Male,'_ watch out!

Anakin opens the bedroom door. People. He feels them milling around. He hears them laughing and chatting. The Dark Lord decides to brave the elements and go downstairs. He stands at the top of the stairs. His wife looks beautiful and elegant as usual. She chats with Owen and Beru. Isabel's parents are also present. He hears the familiar hearty laugh from that dastardly James Solo and the lilting giggles from fashionista Sabrina Solo. Where the Solo's go, '_Junior'_ can't be far behind. Sure as Mustafar has lava rocks, smarty-mouth Han Solo is yucking it up with Luke, Leia, and Mara. He continues down the steps, but slowly. The doorbell rings.

Luke beats Threepio to the door. Anakin has no time to make an about-face to head back upstairs. Vic and Maggie Jade arrive with sons Vic Junior and Mikey 'Michelangelo' Jade. The butler protocol droid takes their coats. Maggie Jade does not disappoint with her holiday attire. She is wearing a bright red velour dress with a boat neck and satin ribbons around the collar. It's not half bad on the taste register. At least she didn't arrive wearing a sheared Wampa fur wrap as Sabrina Solo did. Sabrina Solo hands her wrap to one of the servants. At least four animals gave their lives for the designer's nightmare.

Isabel's brothers and their families will arrive later. They must first attend festivities with their own in-laws. Anakin would have no aversion to talking with them.

He stops midway on the staircase. Isabel notices he is taking his good time coming down. She continues greeting guests. The stodgy but always charming Professor Higgins arrives. On his arm is the unflappable and perfect Nurse Mildred Ratched-Higgins. Right behind them is Captain Lorth Needa and family. Threepio is excited to see him.

"Well! Good evening, Captain Needa, What a surprise to see you. This is the second time within a year you've been invites to a Skywalker event. I take it your apology has been accepted…Heh-heh. You must be on master Ani's good side these days…you know…'He's making a list and checking it twice… Gonna find out who's naughty and nice…lala la la-lala-lala…"

Isabel interrupts and rescues the officer from the _'metal mouth.' _She is surprised by this visit but does not lead on she is not expecting them.

"Captain and Mrs. Needa, good evening! We're so glad you could come."

"Thank you for having us, Mrs. Skywalker. I know that the dinner invitation said no gifts but I thought…"

"Oh, Captain…how generous of you and your wife. Thank you so much."

"It's just a little something for the home."

"I'm sure it will be appreciated. Let's go find my husband so he'll know you're here.

Connie Needa is a reserved but friendly-looking woman. Isabel remembers her from Leia's wedding.

"What a beautiful home you have."

"Thank you." Isabel notices the Needa children. She does not remember the teen that is standing with young Cort. Cort stands quietly looking around him as if hoping to see someone he would like to talk to close to his age. So far, he sees only adults. Isabel knows what he is scanning the room for right now.

"Anakin and I sent the children to their rooms to get rested for later. It's going to be a long night. I do believe Alex and Li-An are in the dayroom. I'll take you to them. If I know those two, they haven't settled down to take a nap at all. They have the stamina of ten Jedi Knights."

She excuses herself and takes the boys to the dayroom. Magnus, the older Needa son prefers to stay and mingle. He decides to hang out with Luke, Leia and their friends. Servants weave through the room serving drinks and hors d'œuvres.

Obi-Wan and Bunny arrive. The couple walks to the foot of the staircase to greet the Dark Lord of the hour. The room goes silent then fills with thunderous applause. Anakin smiles and waves as he reaches the bottom step. Anakin feels as if he is walking in slow motion. Obi-Wan pats him on the back. Aunt Bunny gives him a peck on the corner of his mouth. She sideswipes him. He was not expecting to make contact with those ruby red lips of hers.

"Happy Befana Eve, Suge. You look smokin' tonight."

"I do? You'd better call the fire department then. Hahaha!"

"Ani, suge, you are a card!"

"Yeah, I keep 'em laughing in the aisles. Hey Obi-Wan, how the heck are you?"

"Well, hello there. I'm excellent, Anakin. Nice threads."

"Thanks. Courtesy of my better half. She likes to dress me up. Gives people the illusion I'm refined and cultured. The lady is still in denial."

"But you are charming. You've got that going for you."

"I guess. You look quite the dapper Jedi tonight, Master."

"Thank you, Anakin. Thanks to you and your tailor. The man does wonders. I also bought a new pair of shoes. I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not; I am, after all, your benefactor; and you've been a good friend to me over the years."

"So, I guess you don't mind if I bought Bunny a little trinket at The Geonosian Fine Jewelry Shop over on Rodian Drive. She had her eye on this amazing Lightsaber-cut bracelet…"

"Fine."

"It was on sale…"

"It's fine, Obi-Wan."

"I bought a little something for Isabel."

"Really? Oh, Obi-Wan, you're way too _generous_. How _thoughtful_ of you."

"It was no trouble at all."

"Of course it wasn't any trouble…it wasn't your account." Anakin is still curious what Obi-Wan bought for Isabel on the Skywalker account. "Okay, so what did you get for her?"

"A pair of blue Geonosian ruby earrings. Why? What did you get for her?"

"A book."

"A what?"

"A book! Shhhh!" Anakin grabs Obi-Wan by the sleeve of his new suit.

"A book? Why are you shushing me? What sort of book?" He checks the sleeve of his jacket to make certain Anakin didn't make any unsightly creases from tugging at the delicate fabric.

"Well, we agreed not to exchange gifts this year." Anakin whispers. _"'Star Cruiser Pilot Lessons for Dummies.'"_

"What?"

"Are you hard of hearing, Master?"

"No, my hearing is perfect; I just can't believe what I'm hearing!"

He listens as Anakin tries to justify the purchase. Even the Dark Lord is not convinced.

"It's practical. I was thinking she should know how to pilot a ship. Leia knows how to pilot one. Why are you looking at me that way?"

"Well, Anakin, the title is terribly insulting, especially for someone like your wife. She's a brilliant woman, Anakin. She's not exactly going to receive a gift like that with open arms."

"Oh, I didn't think it through, did I? I could teach her just as well as any book can, eh?"

"You need me to bail you out of this one?"

"Please. Thanks."

"You had better start mingling with your guests."

"Oh, yeah… I'll circle around and chat with you later. I got to work my mojo."

"May the Force…"

"Yeah, yeah…I know."

He weaves his way though the busy room. This cannot possibly be the dinner guests. There are several people he does not know. It is the pre-Befana Eve Mass cocktail party. Everyone there wants to get a nice buzz-on before attending Mass. There are so many people. He does not recall inviting most of them. Obviously, he got things mixed up somehow. He knows none of Luke and Leia's rift-raft friends is invited back to the house for dinner. He sees Rocca, Valin, Sena, Kyle, and the rest of the freeloaders. He hears that smart mouth nerfherder in the crowd with them. Who invited him? Oh, right…Anakin almost forgot he has a son-in-law. Anakin thinks of an easy way to navigate through the crowd without spending a lot of time chewing the bantha fat with half of these people.

"Welcome, welcome to my home. Happy Befana Eve to Everyone."

He circulates the room greeting everyone, shaking hands and engaging in small talk with the _'must-sees.'_ His wife is chatting with Professor Higgins and his wife Mildred. Anakin had to stop himself as he approaches the couple. The professor could never possibly understand the relationship and the witty repartee Anakin has with the head nurse at Coruscant University Hospital. He had to remember not to call her by the usual pet names during the numerous encounters over the years in maternity admissions.

"Professor Higgins I presume."

Higgins ignores this ridiculous greeting. Anakin knows full well who he is.

"Good evening, Your Lordship."

"Happy Befana Eve, Professor."

"And Happy Befana Eve to you."

He turns to Mildred. He misses their witty banter over the years. That professor has her behaving all professional and no-nonsense….wait that is his fondest memory of her! He could start their cure, biting exchange but it wouldn't be the same with _'Mr. Snooty'_ breathing down her neck.

"Mrs. Higgins, you look lovely this evening."

"Why, thank you, Mr. Skywalker. You look quite the dashing host this evening."

"I do my best."

Isabel has moved on to chat with Jades. Anakin excuses himself. He makes his way over to Isabel and gives her a gentle kiss. He fulfills his hosting duties by chatting with the Jade's.

Maggie is beaming as he approaches her and her husband Vic.

"Mr. and Mrs. Jade, welcome to our home."

Vic Jade shakes hands with Anakin.

"It's an honor to be invited. We're almost family; call me Vic."

"Okay…Vic…"

Vic seems to be waiting for the opening where Anakin will encourage him to call the Dark Lord by his first name but it does not happen. Maggie Jade surprises Anakin when she throws her arms around him.

"Come over here you tall, blond, and handsome man! Give ol' Maggie a hug!"

Luke, Leia, Mara, and Han are far across the room but they catch the entire moment. Han spills some of his ale on his shirt. They see Vic Junior slip away towards the terrace door. He grabs a glass of champagne from a tray as the server passes him. Leia's mouth hangs open as Maggie Jade presses her body against her father. Luke grins then gently shuts Leia's lower jaw. Mara blushes. She is not sure whether should she be horrified by what her mother has done or amused by the expression on her future father-in-law's face. It is priceless. Anakin stands frozen and helpless. Maggie plants a red lipstick-laden kiss on the Dark Lord. Anakin regains his wits. He lets out a nervous laugh and wags a scolding finger at her.

"You lied; you said a hug."

"Oh well, you know…I couldn't resist. Besides, there's the mistletoe!" She points directly above them. There it is, a sprig of Coruscant Mistletoe freshly picked from high in the Manarai Mountains. Maggie touches the sleeve of his jacket. "Oooh, what soft fabric. Is this real Chaughaine cashmere?"

"Uhm…I think so…my wife is in charge of my attire. I ah…just put it on…"

"Well, she has marvelous taste."

Isabel speaks to Maggie. "Don't let him fool you. He has a great sense of style." She winks to her husband.

Maggie glances flirtatiously at the Dark Lord.

"It's true, it's true. I know he does. He's so modest. You both look so elegant. I hope I don't look too casual."

"Well, you set the holiday tone for the evening."

"Well, red is my color. Anakin, how do you like my holiday dress?" She twirls he can get the full view. Vic Jade rolls his eyes. Anakin thinks of something to say.

"Uhm…You're looking bright and festive tonight."

"Oh, thank you. Mara told me to wear a regular black dress but tonight is a night for fun."

"Kids…"

"Yeah, she needs to relax."

Someone calls Anakin. He recognizes that distinctive accent anywhere. It is James Solo. Anakin leaves the Jades for now.

"Excuse me for a moment. Enjoy the party." He hear Solo call his name again.

"Anakin."

Anakin turns. He has never been so relieved to see the womanizing old coot. Professor _'Double-O Martini' _is wearing a charcoal-colored bantha cashmere jacket over a turtleneck. He is sipping a martini.

"Good evening, Solo."

"Good evening, Anakin. Nice little soirée you're having."

"It's just a little get-together before we go to the Midnight service at the cathedral. That's when we'll sit down to dinner."

"That's what a soirée is…it's a get-together."

"That's what I said. You did read the invitation…"

"Of course. Nice note you put in the card."

"Uhm…yeah…I'm witty that way."

Professor Solo recites the message in the RSVP card.

"'_In lieu of gifts, a donation to the Tatooine children and refugee fund?' _How is that witty?"

"Well, you didn't specify…you see; we mailed out two versions."

Anakin tries to fake his way through this one. He refuses to let that pompous Solo make him look stupid. Anakin does recall his wife nagging him to go over the invitation list. She even left samples of the cards on his desk in the study with a note attached. She pleaded for a few minutes with him, not once but three times. She did mention the insert that was going in mentioning the _'In lieu'_ nonsense. Who is _'Lou'_ and why is he such a big deal? And as for two versions of the RSVP card, there was none. There were just two designs…one for those invited to the cocktail party _only_ and the other going to the invitees returning for the Befana Eve dinner after midnight. He needs his wife to rescue him right now.

Solo continues to speak, ignoring Anakin's ridiculous answers.

"Where's you father?"

"Oh…he's got a show tonight. He's stopping by later."

"What's he doing?"

"The holiday performance of _'The Mustafar Roquettes Befana Eve Show.'"_

"How did he land that gig? I thought he was under contract for that farce he was in earlier this season."

"He had auditioned for the part but was turned down in favor of a gentler kid-friendly actor. Three weeks after rehearsals the director called him back. They told him something about the star of the show suddenly falling down a flight of steps and broke his leg. The part fell right into his lap. His agent and legal counsel worked out a deal with the theatre. Dumb luck, heh?"

"Dumb indeed."

Anakin's rescue comes by the way of his father-in-law. Nakai pats him on the back as an old buddy would.

"Hello, Professor Solo, how are you?"

"Good evening Mr. Nor."

"May I borrow my son-in-law for a moment?"

"Of course. Skywalker, you're in demand this evening."

Nakai whisks Anakin away to a corner where they can talk in private. It is not a rescue after all.

"What's going on?"

"My daughter…your wife would like a word with you."

"Why?"

Isabel joins in on the discussion. They go into the laundry room and close the door.

"Anakin, how many people did you invite for dinner tonight?"

"Uhm…why?"

"We sent out invitations. Everyone on the list is here. People not on the list are here. We've got extra people. I've got people thanking me for inviting them to dinner."

"Calm down. I invited people. I used the invitations you put on my desk. You only left me two so I made copies."

"Those were the sample invitations."

"Oh. Was that a bad thing?"

Isabel firmly but lovingly holds his chin so they make eye contact. She whispers to him.

"If you had a brain and I didn't love you, I would kill you."

"But you love me. Lucky for me, right? Ahem…so…do we have to _'uninvite'_ some people?"

"No. It's all taken care of."

"I guess I should have read your notes."

"Coulda, woulda. Go mingle, you maniac."

"Thanks. Hey, being that the Jade family is here, you think we should hide the valuables or pat them down for weapons? Those two sons look as though they've seen a lot of action in juvee hall…or maybe not…I'm going to go mingle."

"I'm ignoring that last remark."

Anakin rejoins his guests. There is a steady flow of people arriving but not that many leaving. By Ten thirty, the crowd levels off where the only ones remaining are those who were invited to return after Midnight Services. There is a short time to relax as the servants tidy up the place for later.

The tree is lit with all the Befana Eve holiday splendor the holiday can muster. The children set out food for Babbo Befana and his Hoth reindeer. Alex tells his father not to light the fire place or Babbo will be engulfed in flames. Anakin understands too well. Nakai and his wife wake the children. The Jade and Solo, families stand in the doorway of the living room. Gladys sits in an armchair close by. Anakin, Nakai, Isabel, and Captain Needa surround her. Isabel's mother is on the sofa with Beru, Connie Needa, and Mildred Higgins. The other guests stand behind the sofa. Obi-Wan walks in carrying the baby.

Obi-Wan takes a seat in the big armchair and gathers all the children around. Bunny sits on an ottoman and crosses her legs. He voluminous blonde hair sweeps across her right brow. She eagerly anticipates what here husband is about to say.

"Come here, my younglings, you too, Luke and Leia; bring your young guests. You're not too old for this." The twins gather on the sofa behind their younger siblings and the other children. Mara sits on Luke's lap. Han takes a place on the arm of the sofa close to Leia. Mara's brothers and the older Needa boy stand behind the sofa. Isabel's brothers arrive at the house just in time with their children. The Nor children find a place on the floor with their youngling cousins. Obi-Wan continues.

"I'm going to tell you a story. It is about the first Befana Eve in a small village long ago and far away. There lived a young slave girl who depended on the kindness of strangers…"

There is a knock on the door. Obi-Wan's story is interrupted. The adults standing in the back of the room look to see who is coming into the house. A sudden blast of cold air fills the foyer as the door flies open. Footsteps can be heard making their way into the house. The steps are clumsy and a scuffle ensues. The guests hear muffled voices.

"Not so close, you idiot! You're stepping on my robe! I have get this back to wardrobe before tomorrow's performance."

'"Well I can't carry this bag and your staff too!"

"Shut up!"

Threepio can be heard greeting the two visitors in the foyer. Artoo follows, as does Skippy.

"Who are you?"

"Who do you think I am? Out of my way!"

"How rude! Why, I have a mind to…no,…wait…you cannot go in there. Master Kenobi is in the middle of telling the children a story. You cannot interfere…."

A crash can be heard out in the foyer. Artoo hurries back into the living room beeping wildly. Skippy attacks someone. High-pitched cries can be heard from the entrance hall.

"Help! Mad dog! Back off!"

"Will you stop playing with that titanium mutt and come on?"

"Master, do I look as if I'm playing? He tore my stocking! I think my ankle is bleeding."

"Stop your whimpering, you big baby!"

The _'visitors'_ continue their way into the living room followed by a loud duet of _"Ho-ho-ho! Happy Befana, everyone!" _

He looks behind him at the _'elf.'_ "Shut up, I'm supposed to say that!" He walks into the room and repeats his greeting. "Ho-ho-ho! Happy Befana, everyone!"

The figure is dressed in a long red brocade cloak. Trailing him with a pronounced limp and a torn green legging is an elfish figure with antennae. The children turn their heads and gasp as the two enter. Some of the children giggle nervously. The cloaked figure snatches the staff from the elf and bellows.

"Ho-ho-ho! Who's been naughty and who's been nice?"

The children scream.

"It's the boogeyman!"

Li-An stands and points to the Babbo Befana impersonator.

"You're not the real Babbo Befana!"

Alex furrows his eyebrows as he stares at the elf impersonator.

"Who's the elf?"

"That's no elf, that's Palp's dopey valet."

Mara's brother Mikey joins in on the inquiry.

"That's bogus, man! Who tries to mess up a kid's head like that? My Uncle Danny 'The Dianoga' used to do stuff like that to me. Let's get 'em!"

The children get up and attack the false Babbo Befana and his shiftless elf impersonator. Elan screams as the children crowd around him and Palpatine. The dog joins in. Elan loses his elf's cap in the process.

"Help! Help! Get them off me! Woohoo! Agggh! Cut it out!"

Anakin slips away to check up on Threepio in the foyer. The children meanwhile continue their assault on the two holiday impostors. Vic Jade watches excitedly as if sitting in on a boxing match. He mimics boxing gestures as his son gives the overwhelmed Palpatine a jab in the side. Nakai laughs and watches as the children attack Palpatine and Elan. He finally walks over to break up the scuffle. Han and Luke are slow to help. Mara laughs while snacking on some leftover hors d'oeuvres from the cocktail party. Nakai pretends to be appalled.

"Okay, kids, break it up. Shame on you…on Befana Eve too!" He looks at Mikey Jade, the ringleader. "Aren't you too old to be beating up old men? He helps the old man off the floor. "You okay old guy?"

"I am not _'old'"_

"..Just trying to help." He chuckles. "The kids got you good, eh?"

Nakai sees his wife give him an icy stare. Palpatine's white hair is a bit mussed. He staggers for a moment before regaining his balance. Palpatine feels a bit humiliated. He adjusts his cloak. The children stand around him. He suddenly regroups and gets back into character.

"Well, as I was saying…" He gives Mikey a dirty look. He continues to recite the lines he rehearsed. _"I've come all the way from the wintry land of Hoth to shower all good children with presents."_

Palpatine begins to distribute gifts to all the children. He hesitates before he hands Mikey a gift.

"Better get used to these. You're going to be in them a lot."

Mikey rips open the package. "Oooh, binders! Cool! Thanks, old guy."

"Why don't you try them on for size?"

Elan sees Mikey wearing his elf cap and snatches it off the boy's head. Palpatine walks over to Obi-wan who is still in the oversized armchair. Kris is still sitting on the Jedi Master's lap. Palpatine hands the toddler a package.

"This is for you, little one." The baby accepts the package and shakes it without realizing he needs to unwrap it. Palpatine smiles and turns Ana- Lena who is standing beside the chair with Obi-Wan. She did not get up to participate in the _'attack.'_

"And, this is for you, little miss. What an angel you have been the entire year."

"Thank you '_Babbo'_." She smiles and accepts her gift.

Palpatine smiles back and gently pats her on the head. He then stands in front of the chair, staring at Obi-Wan as if he is waiting for something. Obi-Wan looks back then rolls his eyes. He rises from the armchair and plays along albeit sarcastically.

"Why don't you have a seat on the throne, _'Babbo??'_ You must be weary from your long journey from Hoth." Obi-Wan bows mockingly. Palpatine does not realize Obi-Wan is making fun of him.

"Thank you, Master Kenobi. You are a good man. I'm sure there is a nice gift for you in this sack…" He looks inside the bag, which is obviously empty, then shrugs at the Jedi Master. "Oops! Must have left it back on Hoth in the magic workshop. If I had my powers I could retrieve it with the Force."

"Don't sweat it. I have everything I need right here. I'm not expecting anything, 'Babbo'"

"Good. I'll take the baby."

"Well, I think it's best if…"

Palpatine gestures with his greedy hands. "Put him right here in my lap…"

"I fear I must advise otherwise…he's about to…"

"Bring him to me. Sit him on my lap right here." He taps his knee.

"As you wish."

Obi-Wan hands the baby to the old wretch and then steps aside.

"Now…things are in balance."

The children are busy opening their gifts. Elan adjusts his elf's cap and takes his place beside Palpatine. Palpatine bounces the baby on his knee.

"This is nice. This is much better than that Hoth Wonderland Babbo Befana, isn't it my little one?"

Elan crouches beside the armchair so he is eyelevel with the baby.

"You're a cute little guy. Coochie-coochie coo…" The baby stares at Élan's antennae and tries to grab one. "No, no, no…don't touch." The baby persists in spite of Elan's protests. "No! Stop that! Why don't we open your present?"

Elan tries to take the gift. Kris grabs Élan's green cap and screams. Palpatine lifts the baby like a soiled towel and discovers a wet spot on the robe.

"Look at my robe!"

Isabel grabs the baby.

"I'll take him."

Elan wobbles a bit. One of his antennae is broken and his balance is off causing him to lean to the side. Mildred is called over to take a look at him. Anakin calls her back.

"Mildred, do that later. My children are going to perform for everyone before Mass."

"Perform?"

"Yes, the three middle ones. You haven't seen how talented they've become since you last saw them."

"Well, I mustn't miss it then."

Isabel stands in front of the crowd.

"Attention everyone; before we leave, Li-An, Alex and Ana-Lena will be performing a song they have been rehearsing with my husband for the holiday. They are anxious to present it to you being that they have worked so hard on it. Artoo will provide digital woodwind and percussion accompaniment …" Isabel smiles as she looks in the next room. She is on the verge of giving someone a swift slap on their bottom if things don't shap up. She looks back at her guests. "They're almost ready….uh…Anakin and the children will perform _'The Youngling Befana Song.' _I think you'll enjoy it." She steps aside and sits beside Gladys. Gladys looks excited for this moment to watch her boss with his children. She folds her hands on her lap and waits like a proud mother varactyl.

Han whispers to Leia.

"What is this?"

"You missed this last year? They sang it at the Bear Clan Holiday show at the Jedi Temple."

"I missed that magical moment."

"It's really cute. I think you'll like it."

Everyone gathers round. The audience is ready but the 'Youngling Trio' is not, and there is a bit of confusion and bickering. Anakin is losing patience as he gathers them in the outer room. He ushers them into the living room near the piano. Ana-Lena is adorable in her winter white wool dress with Manarai Mountain Ribisel berries on the hem. Her cream-colored tights keep her little legs warm and she wears red patent-leather Mary Janes to finish off the outfit. Li-An and Alex wear navy dress pants and matching Jedi robe-style blazers and white turtleneck shirts. Anakin smiles nervously at his audience like a proud stage father. He starts playing the piano and urges the children to get ready.

"All right you Younglings! Ready to sing your song?"

"I'll say we are!"

"Yeah!"

"'Good, Alex."

"I'm no longer a Youngling; I'm a Padawan, Dad. Why do I have to sing this silly song?"

"It's tradition, Li."

"Since when?"

"Work with me, Li-An."

Alex is ready.

"Let's sing it now!"

Li-An is not as enthusiastic.

"Aww man…."

"Don't ruin this for your brother and sister, Li. Everyone get in their places. Children, are we ready? Okay, Alex?"

"Okay!"

"Okay, Ana-Le?"

"Okay, Daddy." She stands at the end. The children sway to the melody as their father starts the music again.

"Okay, Li-An? Li-An? Where are you? Li-An!"

"Okay!!"

Be-fa-na E---ve time is near,  
Time for toys and time for cheer,  
We've been good, but we can't last  
Hurry Be-fa-na, hurry fast,  
Want a ship that loops the loop,  
Me, I want a bike that swoops,  
We can hardly stand the wait,  
Please Be-fa-na, don't be late.

Okay kids, get ready.

That was very good, Ana-Lena.

Naturally.

Very good Alex.

Ahkhkhkh.

Ah, Li-An, you were a little flat, watch it.

Ah, Li-An? Li. Li-An!

Okay!!!

Want a ship that loops the loop,

I still want a bike that swoops,

We can hardly stand the wait,

Please Be-fa-na, don't be late.

We can hardly stand the wait

Please Be-fa-na, don't be late.

Very good, boys. Ana-Le, excellent…  
Let's sing it again!  
Yeah, let's sing it again!  
No, that's enough, let's not overdo it.  
What do you mean not overdo it?  
Overdo it?

We want to sing it again!  
Now wait a minute, boys ...  
Why can't we sing it again, Dad?

We're done

That was Alex; I sure don't want to sing it again.

Li-An, will you cut that out!

I want to sing it again, Daddy.

Ana-Le, we have to leave soon. This was just a little presentation, sweetie…

But, Li-An pushed me. I didn't sing my part.

I didn't push you.

Yes you did!

Daddy!

"Kids, if you keep this up, they'll be no Befana Eve for anyone We have guests. Look how you're behaving! Behavior like this can lead to the dark side and there's no place for it this holiday."

"Dad, tell Li-An to be nice."

"That's enough! Take a bow!" He stands beside the piano and takes a bow with the three Younglings. Artoo rolls over to accept his accolades.

The children bow as the guests applaud. Palpatine beams as he holds his nose up in a snobbish fashion and looks at Vic Jade.

"Those are my grandchildren. They have inherited my theatrical genius."

"Well, you'd better get some of it back. It seems they have sucked you dry."

Palpatine turns away then claps louder for the children.

"Bravo, my young ones! Bravo! How adorable."

Owen and Beru nod to one another.

"They could perform at the harvest festival next season, Beru."

"That's a whole 'nother year, Owen. You can't take them away…they'll be in school. Li-An will be in Padawan training."

"We'll figure something out. I'm sure Anakin will consider it. Li-An can make up the missed time next year."

Several minutes pass. Isabel leaves then returns with the baby who is in a new outfit. Mildred Higgins and Elan are in the guest powder room. Li-An hands her the first aid kit. He stands in the doorway watching.

"Why don't you just break off the other one? You'll be even again."

Elan tries to look in Li-An's general direction

"Beat it, kid."

"This is my house in case you've forgotten."

"This is a private matter."

Mildred smiles at Li-An.

"Li-An, Dear, hand me those bandage shears."

"Can I cut it?"

Elan protests.

"No! Go away!"

Mildred speaks to Li-An.

"Li-An, you have a steady hand. Hold the splint in place for me."

Elan continues to protest.

"Hey! You can't be serious. Don't let that kid touch me!"

"Hold still if you want me to save your antennae."

Li-An giggles.

"Yeah, stop crying like a girl and stop fidgeting before you lose the antenna altogether. Then you'll be walking sideways for the rest of your life."

"Just watch it. And stop laughing."

"You've got a popsicle stick on your head! Ha-ha!"

Mildred winks at Li-An.

"Very nice, Li-An. What a talented young man you are."

"'_Young man'_…I like the sound of that."

"You keep this up; you may have the potential to become a great doctor."

"Really?"

"I knew it the day you were born. I said to myself. 'That baby is going to grow up to be someone special.'"

"I can be a Jedi by day and a doctor by night. Cool!"

Elan tries to turn while Mildred is working on his wound.

"Can you two take that walk down _'newborn memory lane'_ later? I'm in pain here. Ouch!"

Mildred tilts his head back into position as she applies the dressing.

"Stop moving."

Li-An hears his sister Leia calling him.

"Li-An, tell Mildred, we're getting ready to leave for Midnight Mass."

"Okay!" He looks at Mildred.

"Is the patient stable, Nurse Higgins?"

"Yes, Dr. Skywalker."

Li-An giggles.

"Come on, Mr. Elf. You have to leave, this is outpatient service."

"Don't I get any meds?"

"This is holistic medicine. Walk it off."

"Your bedside manner leaves a lot to be desired."

"Sue me."

"You little monster."

"You're still a big bug with a popsicle stick on your head."

They leave the house. Isabel holds Li-An's coat. Everyone leaves. Palpatine's' robe hangs in the laundry room. The house is soon empty.

Anakin stands in the family pew at the cathedral. The members of the Jedi Council, including Luke, take their places across from the Jedi clergy. The choir sings _'Immaculate Lady of Tatooine.'_ It is a beautiful hymn. It is performed at all sacred events and is the first song that the Younglings learn in the Bear Clan Learning Center at the Jedi Temple. The choir and congregation sing as the processional, lead by the Jedi Priest, the friars from the nearby monastery file up the aisle. Twelve young Jedi girls in flowing white robes follow the procession. Each girl wears a head wreath of white candles. He remembers when Leia was their age and she represented her family during the Befana Eve Mass. Leia has an angelic singing voice. One would never know it from all the yelling she does at home.

Anakin holds a copy of the printed program in his right hand. He is usually fidgeting during the singing of hymns but this one is special. He sings with total conviction. He is thankful for so much in his life. His family is around him. The droids are there as well. He is at peace. The congregation kneels in prayer. This is Anakin's least favorite part of the service. He whispers to his wife that his knees hurt when he kneels in prayer. She grabs at his belt and gives it a firm yank. Anakin drops to his knees beside her. Ana-Lena is on her Father's left. She smiles up at her father. The boys are near Isabel so she can keep an eye on them. She promises swift punishment should they engage in any shenanigans during the service.

Kris stands in the seat looking in the pew behind him. Kris is dressed for the occasion wearing navy velveteen romper over a white shirt. He smiles at his cousins, Aunt Bunny, and his grandparents. He smiles at Palpatine.

"Hi." Palpatine waves. The baby calls him again. "Powpa!"

Palpatine puts his finger to his lips.

"Shhh…"

"Hi!

"Palpatine tries to keep him quiet.

Kris becomes indignant.

"Powpow Powpa!"

"Shh!"

Everyone looks in Palpatine's direction. He is showered by a series of _'Shhhh!!'_ He whispers back.

"It wasn't me!" He points to the baby who is sitting quietly. An usher in the form of a novice monk stops by his row and signals for Palpatine to be quiet. Leia whacks the old sith on the head with her rolled up program and whispers to him.

"Cut it out!"

The baby stands in his seat again, looks at the old man, and places his tiny index finger to his cherubic mouth.

"Souse!"

Palpatine tries to cover the toddler's mouth.

"Be a nice baby."

Isabel catches him, whisks the baby from the seat, and holds him in her arms.

Palpatine plays a game of 'peek-a-boo' with the baby. He startles the child. Kris cries and is immediately comforted by his mother.

Anakin finds the service this year is not as painful as others are. Someone waves to him near the end of the service. He knows those beefy hands anywhere and the gaudy rings. Isabel will surely kill him when she finds out they have more uninvited guests at the family feast.

An hour passes. As they file out of the cathedral, Palpatine tries to explain himself.

"Anakin, I know how it must look but I was not trying to smother the baby…"

Mama Carmella shakes her finger at him as she holds onto Luke's arm.

"Yessa you did. I saw you witha my owna eyes. You frightened the bambino. You evil man!"

"Who are you?"

"Donta youa worry abouda me. Youa hurt a poor innocente baby in a house of the Jedi Gods. Shame on you! I getta my sister's brother-in-law to breaka your legs. You're a bada man!"

Kris looks over his mother's shoulder and claps.

"Bat man!"

Vic Jade overhears his mother.

"Mama, please! At least wait until we're 500 yards from the church! Leave the old man alone."

"I putta curse ona him. Terrible man."

"Put a curse on him tomorrow. It's Befana night, okay?"

"Okay, okay…I giva him a break causa Imma forgiving woman…praise the Jedi saints." She genuflects, kisses her Jedi rosary then sneaks a scornful look at Palpatine. She holds two arthritic fingers like a fork as if to poke at him. Palpatine waves his had at her and keeps following Anakin.

They are soon home again. Anakin decides not to tell his wife about this additional guest who is coming for Befana Dinner. Perhaps certain ones will not show up…he hopes.

The children return to the house and resume playing with the gifts Palpatine had brought them. Kris is upstairs in the nursery fast asleep. The servants are on duty again ready to present the meal.

The Needa's and Solo's are seated at one end of the table near Isabel. The Jade's and the Nor's are at the opposite end with Anakin. Obi-Wan and Aunt Bunny are seated beside Nakai. Palpatine is in the middle next to Professor Higgins. Luke Mara, Luke, and Han manage to switch the place cards so they can sit together. Mama Carmella sits between Luke and another unscheduled guest. Maggie Jade gushes as Anakin makes his opening speech.

"Good Evening, or as the big day has arrives, Happy Befana morning. Thank you for joining my family and me for our very special dinner to celebrate the holiday. Those of you who have been to our home before on this event know it's always full of excitement and unexpected events. I hope you will enjoy yourselves nonetheless. I want to welcome some new friends and family. As most of you know, my son Luke is engaged to a lovely young lady. I think we all knew they were destined to marry since they met as children. Congratulations to Luke and Mara. I also want to introduce Mara's parents, Vincenzo and Margarita Jade, their two sons Vincenzo Jr., and Michelangelo Jade. Oh, and their Uncle Fausto 'Fat Bantha' Mostaccholi has blessed us with a surprise visit….From the Imperial Navy, I'm pleased to welcome one of my most devoted, and honest officers. Captain Needa welcome to dinner, Mrs. Needa and the rest of the family, thank you for joining us. Professor Henry Higgins and Mrs. Higgins…we go …Margaret, we go back a long time don't we?"

"Nine years."

"Nine long years. I think about her every time I scold one of my children. Mildred's all about discipline…and also here tonight is Master Obi-Wan and Mrs. Kenobi. Look at these two youngsters. They're newlyweds just like my Leia and her betrothed. I never dreamed I would get a son-in-law like Han. Every weekend morning when I come downstairs to get my paper, he's sitting at my breakfast table…eating my food…drinking my ale…My daughter is just crazy about him. They're almost hitting that half-year mark of wedded bliss. The Nor family; again, great to see you all here tonight. My mother-in-law looks younger everyday. It must be the tea. Beru, Owen, you two clean up good. Owen was having so much fun during the tree decorating earlier, I though he was going to dance. And, Gladys, my devoted Executive Secretary. He's joining us tonight while her husband is working late across the galaxy. Thanks for joining us, Gladys."

"I'm honored to be here, Anakin."

Alex whispers to his brother.

"What kind of work does her husband do?"

"I think he's an express delivery guy."

"Wow, what a sucky job he has…can't even be home for Befana Eve."

"Yeah…"

Anakin glances at one of his uninvited guests. He will deal with this tub of lard later but he inadvertently says something that will cut the visit short.

"Mr. Mostaccholi, how nice of you to tear yourself away from your busy schedule to join us. Did you know that Isabel's brother is a police captain with COPD? Jar-Jar, welcome. Why go all the way to Naboo when you can dine with us? Master Yoda has joined us. Looks like he's already started…."

Elan chimes in from the kiddie table. He forgets that Anakin can hear everything, no matter how quietly it is said.

"At least someone got tired of you talking."

This remark elicits uncontrollable giggles from the children. Anakin promised himself he would not Force choke anyone during the holiday. Suddenly Anakin hears someone clearing his throat. He looks down the long table.

"Oh, I believe you all know my father. He's made quite a name for himself over the years. He's got a new career on the great white way. And he promised to take my younger daughter to Sunday School. He's going to get baptized this spring. Could you ask for a more devoted grandfather for your children? Except for my father-in-law, of course. He's a solid Coruscant citizen. He gives to charities and spends time at the Jedi parish Sabacc…excuse me, I mean bingo hall. Let's give them a hand."

The guests applaud. Palpatine is about to stand and say a few words. Anakin beats him to the punch.

"Okay, enough with the speech. Bon Appétit everyone."

The servants bring in the food. Everyone eats. Maggie Jade decides to strike up a conversation with the host.

"Vic and I thought that was a beautiful introduction. You speak so eloquently."

"Thank you."

"I was thinking of taking some public speaking classes at the Galaxies Community College."

"Well, that's commendable, Mrs. Jade."

"Well, you never know. I might me called on to give a speech one day…hahaha!"

"I suppose that's true." He takes a sip of wine.

Nakai keeps the conversation going at their end of the table. He speaks to Vic across from him.

"So, Vic, how's the road paving business?"

"Pretty good. We just picked up a contract from the city to work on a stretch of highway from CoCo Town to the exit leading to West Galaxies Throughway."

'How long will that take?"

"Oh…to complete? Aah….I don't know…six months, four and a half…depending."

"Depending? Depending on what?"

"Service interruptions…it depends." Vic shrugs.

Anakin interjects.

"But you have it in your contract, right?" He turns to his father-in-law. Stuff like that isn't open-ended. Right, Pop?"

"Right, Anakin. I use a standard contract."

"Well, now that you put it that way…yeah…in theory we are supposed to set a deadline for completion but the longer the job, the longer I can keep my men working."

Anakin looks at the man incredulously.

"Isn't that illegal?"

Fat Bantha squirms in his chair then tries to defend the practice.

"It's just business. It's done all the time."

Anakin looks across the table at his brother-in-law to get his brother-in-law's attention. Stephan is chatting with Captain Needa

"Hey, Stef, have you ever heard of 'open-ended' contracts?"

"The illegal kind. Why?"

"Just curious."

Fat Bantha lifts his arm to check his watch.

"Oh, look at the time. I hate to eat and run out on such a lovely dinner. I gotta go. Mrs. Skywalker, you throw a Befana Eve Dinner fit for royalty. Thank you."

Anakin looks at Fat Bantha as the rotund man rises from the table.

"Are you sure you can't stay?" His thinly-veiled sincerity is not lost on Isabel who is suspicious about the visit in the first place.

"I got a client to meet under the bridge. He's making a tax-free holiday donation. Don't nobody get up!"

This sounds more like a threat to Owen and Beru who have had their share of bad encounters with Stormtroopers and thugs from Mos Eisley. As a jerk reaction, they both raise their hands as if they are being robbed. They just as quickly lower them when they realize there will be no 'gangland blaster shooting'. Leia and Han giggle quietly. Fat Bantha makes his last statements before his departure.

"Mr. Skywalker, I'll see myself out." He whispers in his ear. "Enjoy the gift. Happy Befana everybody!"

One of the Lobot servants sees him to the door. Everything is back to normal. The men continue their discussion. Maggie Jade smiles and hangs on every word her host speaks. Anakin feels her watching him but remains calm.

"So, anyone here play Sabacc?" He looks at Professor Solo

Vic Jade nods.

"I've played a bit."

"My father-in-law, Professor Solo, Han, and a bunch of others are starting a game every Tuesday night…For Charity" He says it loud enough for his wife to hear it. "We could use a couple of new players…"

Palpatine raises his hand.

"Anakin, I have free on Tuesdays."

"No you don't."

"Yes I do."

"No you don't."

"Yes I do."

"Yes you do."

"No I don't."

"See, I told you."

Palpatine realizes he has been tricked. Anakin ignores the old man and continues his conversation.

"So, as I was saying, Vic, if you're up to the challenge, we could start in the new year."

"Thank you. Sounds great."

Anakin picks up his wine glass.

"It's settled then…To the Charities supported by the game of Sabacc. Sooo…oh-oh!" His eyes bug out and he begins coughing as he chokes on his wine. Half the contents of his glass spills into his lap. Cold cold!" He pulls away from the table. Maggie Jade looks under the table. She acts surprised and giggles as she apologizes profusely.

"Oh, I'm so sorry! I have a habit of kicking off my shoes at the dinner table. Did I hit your knee?"

Anakin clears his throat.

"No…no…not my knee…" He pats his mouth with the cloth napkin.

Mara leans forward and looks towards the head of the table and gives her mother an icy stare.

"Why don't you keep your shoes on, Mother? After all, we are guests at someone's house." She sips her wine.

Maggie rolls her eyes dismissively and smiles.

"Alright, Mara, I don't want to embarrass you. She grabs her napkin and starts to get out of her chair to help blot up the spill. Just as quickly, from the other side of the table, Bunny hops from her seat to do the same thing. She snaps her napkin like a whip, douses it with club soda and salt. Leia, Luke, and Han watch with disbelief. After the initial shock, they giggle as the two bimbos' race to the aid of the Dark Lord.

"Anakin, Suge, let me help you."

Anakin is besieged by a blonde on one side and a redhead on the other. This is an awkward moment. Isabel is busy chatting to the Needa's before she notices what is happening. This is the first time that Anakin looks like a trapped animal.

Han leans over to whisper to Leia.

"Now, if my mother leave her seat to run over there, I'm going to faint. Wait, no….I'd kill her first and then I'd faint from embarrassment."

Anakin, meanwhile backs away with his hands up in surrender.

"Ladies, ladies, relax…it's alright. A little bit wine won't kill me. Luke, will you play host to our guests while I change?"

"Uh…me? Oh, sure, Dad."

Once Anakin is out of the room, Luke searches the Force for something to say.

"Well, it's really nice to see everyone here. And Aunt Bunny, Mrs. Jade, I've never seen such devotion in two women reaching for the same goal…" He hears Obi-Wan clearing his throat, hinting for the novice Jedi Master to change the topic. "Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Needa, thanks for joining us tonight. I'm glad you finally get to see us in a social setting. You must be quite surprised to see how normal we really are as a family. This is one place where my Dad is not the boss in this household…"Obi-Wan clears his throat again. Luke moves his speech along. "This is the best Befana Eve ever. May the Force be with us…everyone."

Cheers!"

Mara blows a flinger whistle.

"You go, babe!" She notices Professor Higgins glance at her from across the table. She restates her praise. "You spoke quite eloquently, Luke."

"Thanks, Mara!"

Vic Jr. chews on an olive.

"Real impressive, li'l sis. You used a 20 credit word. How long have you been practicing that one?"

"Before I was refined, I would have force-slapped you but now I've learned control. Such behavior is beneath me."

Luke tries to end the brother-sister bickering.

"Mara, you're doing great. Thanks for the supportive remarks."

"Thanks, Luke." She holds her napkin to her mouth so Professor Higgins does not see what she does next. Mara sneaks a glance at her brother and sticks out her tongue. She refills her wine glass.

Mama Carmella leans over to speak to the person on her right. She holds her hands together as if in prayer.

"That's a nice-a boy…Luca, he always say something nice-a abouda everybody. Heesa gonna marry my beautiful granddaughter Mara Costanza."

"Meesa know. Luke beesa good Jedi Master. Heesa beesa good husband. Heesa gonna be to put up with 'Red Devil Barbie.'"

"Yousa talka so nice-a. You hav-a good appetite."

"Meesa like holiday food."

"Where-a youa from-a?"

Jar-Jar slurps up a the remaining red cabbage on his plate.

"Meesa from Naboo, home to mooie famous Gungan warriors in great Gungan Land."

"Ohh…you-a notta from-a the old country? You coulda fooled-a me. Your accent is almost-a the same as my second cousin, Roseanne Roseannadanna."

Luke moves around the table chatting with the guests. He sits back in his seat as his father returns to the table. He leans over to whisper to Mara after overhearing part of the conversation between Jar-Jar and Mama Carmella.

"Sees like your grandmother made a new friend. They communicate well."

Han whispers in response.

"Yeah…another person we can barley understand. Now all we need is to get Yoda on their side of the table then we'll have our own tower of babble

Meanwhile at the children's table, Elan suffers the honesty of the youngsters. A tongue depressor supports his damages right antenna. The children gawk at him. This obviously unnerves the perennial assistant of the former emperor. Li-An turns to him.

"So, are you a drug addict?"

"No! Who told you that?"

"Mikey did. He knows everything."

"For your 411, I'm recovered."

The children giggle. Li-An smiles unconvinced.

"Yeah…that's the word they all say. Recovered is the new 'buzz' word…no offense."

"None taken, squirt."

"Well, how can you be 'recovered' if you keep falling off the wagon?"

"I'm doing my best."

"Why do you hang out with Palps? You never recover if keep you hanging around with him."

"I don't know…I don't 'hang out with him. I work for him. I guess we're co-dependent."

"He treats you like a servant. He makes you dress up in these ridiculous costumes."

"Well, no one else will hire me. Anyway, he's making me do this for you. So you think you're seeing the real Babbo Befana."

"I know the difference. You need to become 'he-mancipated' "

"I tried that but I keep getting pulled back in."

Mikey nods.

"That's 'cause you're a wuss! You need to stand up to that tool"

"I feel kinda bad for the guy. He feels like and outcast…like me. We understand each other."

The children sit at the table. They are all stunned by these words. What Elan says sounds so heartfelt. The table falls silent. Suddenly the children burst out laughing. Li-An can barely contain himself.

"Ah-hah-ha! Aw Man! You are a pushover. He's playing you, man. He gets more than enough attention. We had the old man figured out years ago."

Mikey leans across the table.

"Do you believe this guy? He's as screwy as they come! I say we take him behind the parking lot and break his kneecaps."

Li-An responds.

"Are you crazy? We can't do that. Our parents don't let us out of the house after 8 o'clock."

Ana-Lena and her cousin listen but don't participate in the conversation. The older Nor girls are making goo-goo eyes at older Magnus Needa while Ana-Lena smiles bashfully across the table at Cort Needa.

Anakin returns to the dining room and takes his place at the head of the table. He is wearing a new pair of pants. He notices that Vic Jade is now sitting where Maggie sat prior to the 'footsie mayhem'. Anakin is relieved. He looks down towards the other end of the table. He musters enough resolve to smile at his wife. She returns a smile as if she understands everything…she does.

After the dinner has ended the family and their guests go out onto the terrace where Anakin Skywalker was lauded half a day earlier for his award-winning garden.

Anakin meets Li-An near the lemon tree.

"Ready to start this show, Master Skywalker?"

"Ready and able, Dad."

"Let's start this show then."

With a push of a button, the fireworks ignite the evening sky. Other firework displays occur across Coruscant but Li-An clearly believes his fireworks fanfare is the best.

The Skywalkers and their guests enjoy this rare treat. Anakin does not mind sharing this moment with this house full of people. Obi-Wan carries Ana-Lena on his shoulder as they enjoy the show. She smiles down at Cort who stands with his older brother.

Palpatine walks over to Elan and hands him a gift with an envelope on top.

"Elan, this is for you."

"Where do you want me to deliver it, sir?"

"Oh, it's not to be delivered anywhere. It's for you…it's a gift, you twi-…I mean Happy Befana."

"You've never given me a gift before."

"Well, I am now. It's to thank you for all the work you've done for me…when you were clean and drug-free and were able to follow direction."

"Keep pouring on the praise, boss. Don't be shy."

"Being an in-demand star of the stage has made me self-absorbed and insensitive to your needs, son."

"Oh…Thank you, sir. I appreciate that."

"Go on…open it." Palpatine gestures to his _'oft-oppressed'_ assistant to open his gift. Elan opens the envelope expecting to find a reused card the old man received from s fan. He is shocked to see a new card and there is no name whited out at the top. The name is clearly writer, _'Elan.' _Inside the card are five crisp 500 credit notes. The box is also new, although the ribbon is a bit crooked. Inside the box, under the soft gold tissue is an earband. Elan is almost speechless.

"Wow! Thank you, sir. It's just what I needed."

"I got the feeling you didn't have a set. I wrapped it myself. You don't have a place to go do you…for the holiday, I mean."

"No, not since my folks threw me out for being expelled from med school. I'm staying at the YMJA."

"The what?"

"Young Men's Jedi Association…you know…the place that everyone sings about at the dance clubs…the song…you know…**Y.M.J.A…." **Elan sets the box on the stone ledge near the lit topiary. He goes into the hand gestures to make up the acronym for the boarding home while reciting the lyrics.

"_It's fun to stay at the Y-M-J-A…"_

This elicits a blank stare from the former Emperor who is still out of touch with the lives of the citizens of Coruscant since his days as ruler of the galaxy.

"Sounds like a dreadful place."

"Well…you get a room and meals…just like in the song. But you're right…it's not fun like they sing in the song. The Jedi monks visit three times a week to counsel us on finding our way."

"You need a girlfriend. You like girls, right?"

"Sure I do but they don't like me."

"That's because you're a mess, aren't you? You can't meet a decent girl at a club."

"I wasn't going for decent…I was just trying to score."

"Why don't you stay at my place tonight? I have an extra room. You shouldn't be in that dreary place on the holidays."

'Really? Thank you, sir."

"But before you do, you need to return the reindeer and sleigh we stole from that _'Babbo Befo'_ guy."

"His name is Babbo Befana."

"No. '_Babbo before'_ he realizes we borrowed them."

"We stole them."

"Do you want to spend the night in that boring Youth Hostel?"

"Ah…no…not really."

"Well…do as I say."

"That's a good boy. You can stay until the fireworks end."

"Thanks sir."

Palpatine pats him on the back and looks across the terrace at Isabel. He mouths the words 'Thank you' to her. It was she he went to for gift wrapping lessons. Isabel acknowledges his appreciation with a kindly nod.

Back at the fireworks controls Anakin overhears his son humming the tune he performed with so much reluctance earlier that evening. Li-An shrugs with a smile. He makes a confession to his father.

"I kinda like the song, Dad…especially because you were part of it."

"I knew you liked it."

Anakin puts his arm around his young son's shoulder and watches as the young Padawan operates the controls on the console.

Far on the other side of the terrace, Mara is swallowing the helium out of an old balloon left over from Krizstan's first birthday party weeks earlier. She begins to sing.

"Hurry Be-fa-na, hurry fast,  
Want a ship that loops the loop,  
Me, I want a bike that swoops,  
We can hardly stand the wait,  
Please Be-fa-na, don't be late."

Luke giggles.

"You're so silly."

"Don't be so smug, Blondie."

She hands the half-used balloon to him. Luke takes it. He sucks up a little helium from the balloon. They both have high-pitched voices

"I just don't want you to be a fool on your own."

"Well, who's the fool? The fool who fools first…"

"That's a misquote. Those are not Master Kenobi's words."

"Sorry…I must refer to Professor Higgins' etiquette book. The rain in Bespin falls mainly on the clouds…oops!"

Professor Higgins happens to pass by. She is holding the balloon. Higgins looks at her then moves on. Mara and Luke exchange glances then burst into laughter.

"You're busted…"

"I know. He just sneaked up one me. A guy's got to give a girl warning when he does that. There should be a chapter in his etiquette book on that."

"You're also a little drunk. How many glasses of wine did you drink?"

"Two…three…I don't know. You sound like a Jawa…hee…hee…hee!"

"You sound like an Ewok."

"Lub nub. Hee…hee…hee"

Leia and Han walk over.

"What is wrong with you two?"

"We're light as air. Lei-a…come…join us. I feel you want to."

Leia takes the balloon from Mara.

"You amateurs. Let me show you how it's done." Her voice changes. "Now I'm an Ewok."

Mara giggles.

"How can you be and Ewok? I'm an Ewok."

"I know Ewoks first hand. I caught one once."

"Did not."

"Did too…ask my brother."

Luke's voice returns to normal.

'It's true, when we were kids…" Leia hands her brother the balloon. Luke takes in some helium before he continues. " Okay, back when we were about six, our dad took us to Endor on a camping trip. Leia wandered into the forest and stole a baby Ewok."

Mara's eyes widen.

"Get out! Really?"

"Really. Search your feelings, Mara…you know it to be true. Why would I lie?"

"No, you wouldn't lie about a thing like that…" She sees Han who has not participated in their silliness. "Hey, Junior, don't be such a stiff…join us or are you yella?"

"No, thanks; you three are doing fine on your own."

"So sure you are?"

"I'm sure, Mara…nice Yoda imitation by the way."

"Thanks. Luke, you do Yoda. Say something Yoda would say."

Luke grabs the balloon again.

"Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try."

Leia goes next.

"Okay…guess who this is…Son, I need your help…Your kids won't come to the dark side…what's happening to me?…I'm melting….my powers are gone! Where's my slave boy? Elaaan, get over here you twit! Don't you know my needs come before your needing to eat lunch…"

Han grabs the balloon.

"Alright, I'll take the bait. Okay…who's this?" He takes in a good amount of helium from the balloon. Everyone sits back and waits. Han clears his throat. His voice is higher than the others when he speaks. "Luke…Luke…where's your sister? She's with that smuggler? Wait till I get my hands around the throat of that Han Solo. I'm going to Force choke him, then I'm going to hit him over the head with a bottle of that Corellian Ale he's so fond of, then I'm going to pulverize him and then I'll put him in the Carbon freezing chamber but before that, I'll make him sit through that horrible film, "Six Day, Seven Nights.' With any luck he'll kill himself." Han hears laughter from Mara, Luke and Leia. He is on a roll. Mara can barely catch her breath from laughing so hard. Han smiles and continues. "I'm going to go to the office now. I am so busy. There's a pod race this afternoon, I hope all my meetings are over in time. I want to take a nap in my meditation chamber. Not working all day is hard. Gladys, hold my calls if you want to keep your job. And get my wife on the phone. I want to sexually harass her…"

The laughter fades. Han notices.

"He's standing behind me, isn't he? Yeah...it's over." He turns to find his father-in-law standing behind him. Anakin's arms are folded across his chest. The winter wind picks up. His dark jacket flows behind him. Han braces for retaliation. "Hello, Sir." His voice cracks as it returns to normal.

"You keep doing that; it'll rot your brain."

"Yes, Sir."

"Happy Befana, Son-in-law."

"Thank you, sir, Happy Befana."

"As you were."

Anakin walks inside the house.

Isabel is coming downstairs from checking on the baby. Anakin takes her by the hand as she reaches the bottom step.

"How's 'Master Kris?"

"Our whirling tornado? He's still asleep."

"Good. I wanted to get you alone while the crowd is still on the terrace."

"What is it?"

"Listen, I know we promised not to exchange gifts this year but I wanted to give you something."

"Anakin…why?"

"You do so much all year. You deserve this."

He hands her a royal blue velvet box. She eyes him suspiciously.

"Is it a key to a new speeder?"

"No…is that what you wanted?"

"No. I like the YUV. It gives me leverage. I park wherever I like because I have a baby seat inside."

"Really? I had no idea."

"It's true." Isabel opens the lid of the box. She sees a note card inside but does not open it. She is almost speechless. "Anakin…they're beautiful. I saw these in one of my fashion magazines. How did you…"

"I'm intuitive that way."

"Thank you. They're stunning."

"You can wear them to the New Year's Eve concert at the Galaxies Opera House. There's dinner too."

"Thank you. What's gotten into you?"

"Oh…nothing. I just wanted to do something special."

"Well, since we're in gift mode now, I have something for you."

"You're serious, aren't you?"

"Follow me, Mr. Skywalker."

She takes him by the hand and leads him to a door at the back of the stairs.

"You going to lock me in the closet? Are we going to make out?"

"No. And it's not a closet. You've forgotten about this room, haven't you?"

"I guess…"

"Close your eyes."

"Oooh…kinky."

"Will you please be serious and focus? Silly man."

They step inside. Anakin opens his eyes. It is a den with all the accouterments any sports-loving man would appreciate. There is a dual plasma, two nuna leather sofas, a professional Sabacc table, a wet bar and galley food preparation and storage. It's like stadium seating but in your own home. Anakin looks around the flops into one of the sofas.

"Isabel, I love it! Who did the work?"

"Tantive IV Contractors."

"I love it anyway. Did Fat Bantha try to overcharge you because you're a woman?"

"No…he was within the budget I specified. There were no add-ons or work delays."

"Good girl. So, why did you do this?"

"Well, I didn't want you hiding out in your study. I figured you're going to watch pod racing and play Sabacc anyway. I know you like to do so much for 'charity,' so here is a place to do it. Invite your friends. Knock yourself out."

"Aww, 'Bel, this is great…so….that's why there were workmen traipsing through my house for the last couple of weeks. I don't miss a thing."

"You're right, Anakin. I guess you're too smart for me."

"You want to play 'find the Mistletoe around the house?"

"How many places are we talking about?"

"Several."

"That could take all night and we have guests."

"Oh, I'm locking them out. They've out lived their welcome hours ago. Why do you think we do the fireworks last? It's the only way to get these people out of our house. They have no choice. They'll have to go home."

"And who invited them?"

"Okay, so, I had a lapse of judgment. Just don't show me anymore invitations."

"The next batch will be for Luke's wedding. You'll just have to work with me on this."

"Our son's getting married to the mob." Anakin laughs.

"Let's go say goodnight to our guests and then we'll go in search of mistletoe."

"I like how you think, Mrs. Skywalker."

Isabel clutches her blue gift box. She removes the note card and quickly stuffs it behind a vase in the hall. She recognizes the handwriting. Obi-Wan has bailed Anakin out of another hole. The book that her husband intended for her sits on the desk in his study.

The guests watch the last of the fireworks. Li-An handled things quite well on his own. Another year is drawing to a close.

Upstairs in the nursery, Kris sleeps peacefully. He is not alone. The Force Ghost Qui-Gon Jinn sits in the rocking chair near the crib watching him.

'Well, kid. It's just you and me. I'm in limbo and you're too young to enjoy the fun downstairs. I wonder how much longer it will last.'

After the fireworks cease, and the billows of smoke disperse, a bright star can be seen high in the heavens. All is quiet.


	151. Chapter 151 Auld Lang Sith

_Chapter __151_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Starting Out the New Year Right'_

'_Auld Lang__ Sith'_

'_A New Pope'_

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Another year has ended. The children have just returned from a ski holiday on Hoth after a week-long post-Befana Eve visit to Naboo. Jobal and Ruwee are thrilled to see the children. The couple waste no time in spoiling the twins and their younger siblings. For them, it is a great start for the New Year. Ruwee is warming up to Mara who will soon be part of the Naberrie/Skywalker extended family. Mara remembers to behave like a lady during her visit. She does not want the Naberrie's to think back to that disastrous day during the plasma ball game years ago.

While on Hoth, Luke, his two younger brothers, his second cousin Gunter join Han on the slopes. Li-An is excited to use his new snowboard. Ruwee has given one each to Alex, Günter, and Li-An. The girls have other plans. Leia, Ana-Lena, join Pooja, Ryoo and their daughters on the ski trails to show off their new ski outfits.

_**'Making Your Way in the Galaxy Today Takes Everything You've Got' **_

Anakin meanwhile enjoys his new den. There is a steady stream of visitors. Isabel's father is among them. Nakai pretends to _'just stop by' _to visit his favorite daughterIsabel sees through him as she tends to the baby.

"Hmmm…yeah…if it's Anakin you're looking for, he's in his den."

"Oh, really? I never got a good look at it the last time he gave us the grand tour." He points in the general direction. "I'll…uhm head in there…" He pats Kris on the head as he inches towards the den. "Hey, little guy." He looks at his daughter. "I'd love to chat, sweetheart…I'm just going to pay a visit to my favorite son-in-law."

Isabel rolls her eyes.

"Dad, will you just go."

"Okay, okay...I know you're busy…I won't keep you.

Nakai knocks on the door and joins Anakin in _'Club Skywalker.'_

The Dark Lord is standing at the wet bar mixing drinks. Lando Calrissian is there along with Boba Fett, Threepio, Artoo, and Vic Jade. They are enjoying various concoctions that Anakin has learned from his Cloud City Mixology Manual. It is a Befana Eve gift from Lando. Nakai smiles.

"Hey, am I in time for the game?"

"Have a seat and relax. We're still waiting for _'Clearly Not Present'_ son-in-law and his father _'Agent Double-O Letch.'_

"Luke's not joining us?"

"He says he gets no joy out of card games. I think he just doesn't want to sully his reputation as an upstanding Jedi."

"What's that you're making?"

"A cocktail for Obi-Wan."

"He's not here. Is Obi-Wan playing?"

"Heck no! He's not parting with his money…my money…besides…he only shows up for one thing…"

As Anakin speaks these words, the door opens and the revered Jedi Master walks in. Obi-Wan scans the room and smiles.

"Well, hello there!"

Everyone responds in unison and hold up their glasses.

"Hello, Obi-Wan!"

Obi-Wan walks over to the wet bar to greet Anakin. Anakin removes the lid from the shaker and begins to pour the clear blue liquid into a glass.

"Your timing is perfect, Master."

"Thank you, Anakin. It's great to go to a place where everybody knows your name."

"And we're always glad you came, Master."

Threepio is standing at the bar next to Anakin. He is lining up shot glasses.

"How wonderful to see you, Master Kenobi."

"Thank-you, Threepio. Are you the new assistant barkeep?"

"Oh, well, I suppose I am!"

"You're doing a wonderful job, my fine friend."

"Well, I am learning to diversify my skills. I've been programmed for over thirty secondary functions that…"

Anakin rolls his eyes and chuckles softly. Threepio looks at him knowing that the Dark Lord is laughing at the droid's expense. Threepio grabs a bar towel and wipes down the counter before setting a fresh tray of cocktail olives, onions, and cherries. Obi-Wan nods graciously at the droid. He looks around.

"So, what's on the activity list for this evening, Anakin?"

"Well, it's Sabacc Night but it's going to be a short night. I've got to get up early to take the kids ice skating at the Galaxies Opera House Plaza."

Lando sips his drink.

"Are we still on tomorrow night?"

"Yes we are. Saturday night is all mine."

The men raise their glasses in agreement then resume drinking

"Here, here."

Anakin eyes Vic Jade through the bottom of his glass.

"Vic, you ready to sign over your road paving business to me?"

Vic stops drinking. He is not sure if Anakin is joking with him.

"You're funny, Anakin." He retrieves the olive from his glass pops it into his mouth.

"I'm glad you think so, Vic."

Vic swallows the olive. It does not go down smoothly. The men gather round the card table. Han and his father show up. Anakin is about to deal the cards. He barely looks up at them.

"It's high time you two got here. Leave your blasters at the door."

Han laughs.

"What's this, the old west at Mos Eisley?"

"We all know how quick you and your old man are at shooting up stuff."

Han laughs nervously.

"That's why I brought my whip! It…it's a joke." Han gives Anakin a jovial slap on the back then recoils his hand. Anakin stares at him. Professor Solo looks around the room.

"So…this is the Skywalker home casino and lounge I've heard so much about. Nice job, Anakin. Who's your designer?"

"My wife thought it up." Anakin shuffles the deck of cards.

"She's got good taste. How she wound up with you is baffling."

"You insulting me, Solo?"

"No! No! You're a very lucky man."

"I know I am."

Han is growing impatient.

"Will somebody please cut the cards or are we going to sit here all evening stroking his ego?"

Vic Jade slaps his knee and laughs. The laughing fades as Anakin looks at him.

"You're laughing a bit too early in the game, Jade…take it easy. Pace yourself. You might walk out of here crying tonight."

"I'll be careful."

"You'll be broke!"

Lando and Han laugh. Professor Solo sits next to his son. Anakin points his finger at the two.

"Oohh…no you don't. Spread out, you two. Han, you can't sit next to your father. You guys could be in cahoots."

Professor Solo stands and leans over the table. The two men are face-to-face.

"Are you calling me a cheat, Skywalker?"

"I took a blood oath to run a clean game, Professor."

"Do you know what a blood oath is, Mr. Skywalker?"

"Yes…yes I do."

"Good, 'cause you just took one."

"Well, you still can't sit next to your son."

"You're _'effing'_ with me. Get outta hear, you sith bastared!" He jovially throttles Anakin's neck then takes a seat between Lando and Vic and Nakai. The men laugh out loud. "I like this, Skywalker. We can drink, swear, and smoke a good Alderaanian cigar…sweet." Artoo extends an appendage from his body and lights the Professor's cigar. Professor Solo leans forward, takes a few puffs, then sits back in his chair.

"Thank you, Artoo."

Anakin nods thoughtfully as he admires his _'playroom.'_ He raises his arms like a monarch looking around at his kingdom.

"This is my sanctuary"

The professor removes the cigar from his mouth.

"Well, Mr. Skywalker, may we have a drink in this 'sanctuary?'"

Anakin sighs heavily.

"Don't tell me, first you show up late and then empty-handed. You and your _'mini-me'_ sidekick didn't bother to bring a case of Corellian Ale with you I bet."

Professor Solo rolls his eyes up in his head the turns to his son.

"Junior, go out to the speeder and bring in that case of ale in for his lordship. … Junior?"

Han wants to ignore him but his frustration shows.

"Don't call me that!" He leaves the table and steps out of the room. Professor Solo calls to him.

"Junior! Bring back a fresh deck of cards with you. We can't guarantee a fair game with our host holding the cards."

Anakin turns to Solo.

"Are you accusing me of cheating now? We haven't even started yet."

"I'm calling you a cheating no good Tatooine Sith!"

Anakin laughs.

"You love calling me names you womanizing, martini swilling, blaster-toting…"

Threepio interrupts.

"My word, the language is getting rather saucy in here. I have never seen the master so lively and boisterous."

Obi-Wan leans in to confide in the proper protocol droid.

"This room has released his inhibitions. This is a side of Anakin one rarely sees. We must be cautious."

"If Madame Isabel heard this she would straighten him out in no time flat."

"I believe this is the reason for the room. What happens in this room stays in this room."

"I suppose you are right, Master Kenobi."

Han returns a few minutes later with the case of ale. He tosses the unwrapped pack of cards in the middle of the card table as he heads for the bar to store the bottles in the refrigerator. Anakin picks up at the pack and grins.

"So, what's to keep me from trusting that these cards are clean?"

Nakai grabs the pack, removes the cellophane, then empties the cards from the box. Anakin sits back in his chair and observes as his father-in-law fans the cards. Anakin reaches over and snatches one from the new deck as Lando sets the original deck aside on a nearby end table. Anakin shows Lando.

"Did you see this? Hey, Solo, where did you pick up the Twi'lek chick cards, at a strip club?"

Obi-Wan raises his hand being careful not to spill his drink.

"Never underestimate the power of a good strip club."

Lando and Boba high-five each other and laugh.

"That's Aunt Bunny talking."

Professor Solo answers.

"I didn't buy them…Junior did."

Anakin stares at Han who returns to the table with a couple of bottles of ale.

"What?"

"Does my daughter know that her husband goes to strip clubs?"

"I didn't go to …oh…you're referring to the Sabacc cards. It was part of a gag gift we're planning for Luke's bachelor party."

"My son does not go to strip clubs."

"He did on Cloud City…several years ago." He gets another less-than-amused look from Anakin. "The club was just a thought. We're still working on ideas…sir."

Vic Jade looks around the table.

"Are we gonna start playing?"

"Are you rushing me, Jade?"

"Uhm…no…not at all."

Boba Fett grabs a bottle of ale.

"Let's get this game rolling, mate."

Anakin hands the deck of cards to Artoo who deals them.

"Deal the cards, Artoo, to shut my accuser up." He stares across the table at Professor Solo.

Artoo performs some fancy card shuffling and dealing. The men are soon well into a serious game of Sabacc. Obi-Wan hangs out on one of the leather sofas enjoying his drink. He notices some brochures fanned out on the coffee table.

"What are these, Anakin?"

Anakin lifts his eyes from his cards.

"Oh, I promised my old man I would look through them. He's supposed to get baptized this year but the Jedi Church refuses to accept his candidacy, so he has to find another church to accept him into their program."

"I see. So…these are his remaining options?"

Vic makes a joke.

"Maybe they should wait till they elect a new pope? Aha-ha!"

Anakin is not amused and flashes Vic Jade a dirty look then examines his cards.

"That's not even funny. Jar-Jar did some research for me. Every church in a 20 system radius knows of his reputation. A couple said they would consider performing the exorcism…I mean baptism…after a substantial donation and liability insurance premium; in addition, he would have to go through a ritual cleaning of the soul."

Boba tosses a card in the pile and laughs.

"Hah! He's as good as damned."

"Yep. It's not looking good."

Lando's curiosity is peaked.

"How much are the other churches asking for, Anakin?"

"Ten thousand credits for the cleaning ritual. Jar-Jar is still reading up on some alternatives. On Sullust there's a group Shou Nien monks who live high in the mountains. They spend their entire time cloistered in the catacombs. I doubt they have ever heard of him. They were never affected by his reign all those years ago. They may not suspect anything. I think they have a local chapter here on Coruscant. Then there's the Church of the Holy Orig…"

Han's curiosity gets the best of him and interrupts.

"What sort of church is that?"

"Heck if I know."

Han reads the brochure.

"Wow! Listen to this. _'The Righteous Reverend Otis T. Day Devine III and his congregation promise swift lifting of the Devil from the weak-minded. Ritual healing includes laying of the hands and 53 member gospel choir…_" He murmurs the rest while still trying to play his hand.

Anakin nods in Nakai's direction.

"Nakai knows a shaman who conducts Oenikika."

"What's that?"

Nakai fans his cards without looking up.

"It's a purification ceremony to drive out evil spirits."

Han smirks.

"And you think that's going to work on Palps?"

"Don't knock it."

"Listen, I've seen just about everything. I've flown from one side of the galaxy to the other. I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen or heardanything to make me believe that there's any sacred powerful chant or ritual that will wipe out evil as we know it. There is no mystical energy field that controls my destiny…well, then again…there was that time I was tied to a pole with this old girlfriend, and some wacko was chanting over this golden ark. That was kinda weird."

This peaks Anakin's interest.

"How weird?"

"I don't know; I had my eyes closed the entire time."

"If you didn't believe it then why close your eyes?"

"I don't know. I just had a bad feeling that moment." Han looks across the table at his father. "Dad, you remember I told you about that incident…"

"Ah…yes…and you didn't listen to me back then either, Junior."

"Sorry I opened my mouth."

Anakin grins.

"Solo Jr., you're always sorry you started flapping those lips. I look forward to your comments. It makes my day."

Boba leans back in his chair.

"So, Anakin, what are you going to do about your old man?"

"I'm not going to do anything. This is his mess he's got himself into. It's not my problem."

Lando grins and tosses a card in the pile.

"I think we should help the old guy out. I'm curious to find out who is willing to do it. Heck, I'll even flip the bill."

Boba laughs.

"Ahahaha! I'd like to see a soul cleansing. Hey, Obi-Wan, why don't you talk to the head honcho at the Jedi Church about performing an exorcism?"

"It's not up to me. I cannot interfere."

"You love using that tired line, mate."

"I find that using that line most convenient…under certain conditions."

Han complains.

"Hey! Is anybody playing cards? We're spending more time talking about the old windbag than moving this game along."

Anakin responds.

"I'm not even talking about it anymore. Lando and Boba are the ones talking about it. "

"What's the big deal about him getting baptized anyway? He's just going to get dunked in some spring water. He's never going to change."

"Han, you talk a lot but I be you'd wet your pants if he starts to levitate during the ceremony."

"No…not me."

This generates more laughter around the table. Vic Jade slaps his hand on the table.

"Anakin, you're funny as hell."

"I'm funny? How?"

"The way you say stuff and the looks you give people…it's funny."

"You mean I'm a clown?"

"No…you know…you're funny. You've got the whole table laughing…."

Anakin forces the Lightsaber from the cabinet across the room. The ominous humming causes the room to fall silent. Obi-Wan pretends to unhook his own Lightsaber as he calls out to Anakin.

"I hate it when he does that. Anakin, don't do it!"

"Shut up, Obi-Wan. Don't try to hold me back. I've got to do it. I've got to teach him a lesson."

Threepio utters a woeful moan.

"Oh dear….will this ever end?"

Professor Solo sits stunned.

"Blasted, the man is crazy."

Han groans.

"I have a bad feeling about this."

Nakai holds up his hands as if he is trying to make peace. It is a half-hearted attempt.

"Anakin, calm down. Remember what your therapist said…think peaceful thoughts."

Vic's heart races and beads of sweat dot his forehead. He stumbles over his words. Anakin laughs and turns off the Lightsaber tossing it back into the cabinet.

"I'm just messing with you, Vic. Relax. You almost wet yourself."

Nakai, Lando and Boba are laughing hysterically. Lando takes a sip of his drink.

"Anakin, you are crazy, man! This game is getting worse by the minute."

"But you're having fun, aren't you? Admit it, Lando."

Lando concedes that he is enjoying the barbs at Vic's expense.

"Alright, alright ol' buddy. You've got me."

Han rolls his eyes.

"I'm glad this love fest between you two is going so well. Can we play cards?"

"Alright, Han. Geez, have a sense of humor anymore. You've certainly played your share of pranks over the years."

The men resume playing cards. Obi-Wan relaxes on the sofa sipping his drink.There is a knock on the door. Isabel pokes her head inside. The men turn to catch a glimpse of her.

"Hi, gentlemen. I'm sorry; may I borrow my husband for a moment please?"

Anakin leaves the card table and walks over to the door.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Anakin, '_he's'_ calling again."

"Tell him I'll call him back when I have information. Is he bugging you?"

"He's called five times already."

"Tell him to stop calling you or there will be no baptism." He looks down and sees Kris standing in front of his mother. "Hey, sport!"

Kris is sucking on his pacifier squeezes through the door. Isabel tries to pull him back.

"Kris, Daddy is busy with his friends. You stay with me."

"It's okay; he can come in and hang out with us men."

"How are you going to watch him if you're playing cards?"

"How do you know I'm playing cards?" He tries to block her view inside his _'secret sanctuary.'_

"I can see everyone across the room at the table. It's not a tea party, I know that."

"I got him. He'll be fine. Threepio, Artoo, and Obi-Wan are here."

"Call me if you need to hand him back to me."

"I got it under control. Go read a magazine or something or make us some hot wings."

"You should have taken care of that before. You've got a kitchenette in there."

"Aren't you a housewife?"

"You don't get _'secret sanctuary'_ maid service in your '_man's_ _den_.'"

"Fine. Hand over my son. He'll bring his daddy some luck. Yes he will!" Anakin lifts the toddler in his arms and gives him a quick smooch. Kris is anxious to get down and explore. Anakin closes the door and leads Kris by the hand. Kris holds onto his stuffed Ewok and drags along his favorite blanket. Anakin smiles proudly. "Say 'hello' to all of our guests. Okay, everybody put out your cigars. There's a beautiful blond baby in the room."

Nakai winks at the baby.

"Hey, short stuff! You playing Sabacc with us?"

Anakin bounces Kris on his lap. Lando smiles.

"Hey, little man. How you doing, you cute baby? You know your alphabet? Do you know how to count?"

Kris removes the pacifier from his mouth and points to the cards that his father is holding.

"Five, fwee, lady, monkey."

The other players immediately know how to play their hand. Han has a big grin on his face.

"So you've got a Queen an Idiot, Five and Three. Fork over ten credits!"

Anakin places the baby on the floor and sends him on his way.

"It's not nice to gloat Han. Kris, you need to go back to your mother. You're a liability, kid." He turns to Lando as he tosses the money into the stash. "Thanks a lot, Lando."

"Hey, Anakin ol' buddy, I didn't know the tot was so smart. Bring him back."

"Right… I'm going to wipe the floor with you guys… just wait and see. Don't get too cocky, men." He looks down to see the toddler is still standing near his chair. "You're still here?" He looks around and finds the pacifier on the card table in the pile of credits. "Here you go." He inserts the pacifier back into the child's mouth. "Hey, Threepio, will you please escort him out of the room?"

Professor Solo and Boba are sorry to see the child go since they have benefited from Anakin's lack of focus.

"Does he have to go? Let him stay. He's a cute little guy."

"He's not potty-trained…"

Boba Fett changes his mind at the drop of a hat.

"Oh…Threepio, hurry up before he leaves a deposit, mate."

Everyone laughs. Threepio takes the baby out of the room.

"Come, little one. Let's get you out of this den of iniquity. They're going to light up those smelly cigars and use unsavory language anyway."

Obi-Wan is sitting on the sofa eating. Anakin looks up.

"What are you eating?"

"Hot wings and assorted cheeses and fruit."

"How did you get it?"

"You have an arsenal of food in that kitchenette near the bar. You just heat and serve."

"Well bring some over here. We're starving."

It takes several minutes before Anakin is back on top. The game is turning his way until his cell phone rings. His is not too happy when he sees who it is. His greeting is terse.

"What?...How many times are you going to call here?...of course she gave me the message, that's how I know you've been calling every 5 minutes…I'm busy…"

"_You're__ too busy for your own father? Anakin, this is important."_

"So is my time and you're taking up a good chunk of it right now."

"_Son, I need your help. No one at the church will talk to me."_

"Gee, I wonder why….hmmm..could it be all the mayhem you started over twenty-five years ago? Since when are you so gun-ho about getting baptized anyway?"

"_I made a promise to the grandchildren. Last summer.__ I want to be ready for Luke's wedding."_

The men at the card table mock him as they listen in. Han and Boba Fett are laughing and pretending to weep and rub their eyes. Professor Solo is growing impatient.

"Can we continue with the game? I don't want to listen to this bloody nonsense."

Palpatine speaks to Anakin.

"_Anakin, do you have me on speakerphone?"_

"No… why?" He looks at the other guys and makes faces as he listens to the old Sith complain.

"_I hear people laughing."_

"What people?"

This remark elicits muffled howls from Nakai, Vic, and Lando. They continue to mock him.

"_I hear people."_

Palpatine faintly senses the presence of others in the room. This is what remains of any power he once possessed.

"_Do you have company? You're playing Sabacc…You didn't invite me."_

"No one's playing Sabacc. I'm having a meeting."

"_With whom?"_

Vic and Boba mock him again.

"_Whom?__' _Aha-ha-ha!_"_

Nakai puts his finger to his mouth but even he cannot contain himself.

"Shhh!"

Obi-Wan is passing around hot wings on a tray. Han waves him over.

"Hey, 'Father Time,' bring some of those hot wings over here."

Anakin rolls his eyes. Palpatine is still on speaker.

"_You're having a get-together.__ You're having a get-together, aren't you?"_

Professor Solo takes a sip of his Caamas whiskey.

"It's a _'soiree'_."

Anakin purses his lips to keep from laughing. Palpatine stops talking. Anakin senses that the old man is upset.

"Hello? Dad? Palps? Hel-lo-oh?"

Boba Fett listens for a moment. He whispers to Anakin.

"Is he dead? Maybe he fell over the balcony of his condo."

Palpatine blurts out over the phone.

"_Tell your rude friends I'm still here and very much alive."_

'Well, why didn't you answer me? You can't call people rude when you don't respond on the phone."

"_I was waiting for you to grow up. I know you were mocking me, you and your '__friends'."_

"Listen, I'll talk to you in the morning on the way to the ice rink. We'll have a chat then, okay?"

"The rink?"

"Yeah, I'm taking the kids…."

"Oh, Anakin, can I come along? I've never watched the children skate."

This time it is Anakin who is silent for much too long. Nakai giggles. Anakin finally speaks.

"Uhm…sure…fine. We'll pick you up. Don't be late."

"_What time?"_

"Oh…Ten o'clock."

"_A.M. right?"_

"I said I'm taking the kids in the morning. Are you senile now?"

"_I just want to make sure. I don't want to wait by the door all day to find out you meant Saturday evening. Some kids do that sort of thing to their parents…"_

"Don't be ridiculous. Who thinks I would do that to you?"

Everyone at the table raise their hands. Anakin gives Vic Jade a dirty look. He covers the mouthpiece of the phone.

"You're not in this family yet, Jade. Watch it."

Palpatine is still on the other end.

"_Hello? Hello? Anakin, are you there?"_

"Yes."

"_Sooo…can I come play Sabacc tomorrow night? I mean, after all…it is for 'charity'…right?"_

The men giggling uncontrollably. Han needs to leave the room. Isabel sees him outside the door.

"Having fun?"

"I thought this was going to be a normal evening of cards but it's actually a hoot!"

"I don't want to know."

Han returns to the room. He hears Palpatine trying to convince Anakin to let him in the game.

"…_After all, Anakin, it __'is' for charity…am I correct?"_

"I heard you the first time."

The men are trying to maintain their composure. Palpatine presses on.

"_Well, son? What do you say?"_

Anakin bites his lip mulling over his answer. The guys are waving their arms wildly with a hushed 'No' as if they were audience members on a game show. Anakin sighs heavily.

"Sure, Dad."

"_Thanks, son. I knew you would come around."_

The men at the table let out disappointed groans. Professor Solo throws his cards in the air out of disgust and makes his feelings known.

"Bloody hell!"

Nakai is equally stunned.

"If this don't beat all."

Professor Solo is perturbed that his first fun evening on a Friday night will be is last.

"Are you daft, man? What were you thinking?"

"Hey, it's only for one night."

"One night turns into a weekly ritual; and then what?"

"It won't be so bad."

"You just can't say no, can you?"

"I've said _'no'_ plenty."

"Blasted, Anakin. You cannot be serious."

"It's for charity just as the old man said. Anyone bowing out?"

The room is silent.

Lando pushes away from the card table.

"This deal just keeps getting worse."

Vic Jade looks around.

"The game was just starting to get exciting. I was ahead."

Everyone shouts back at him.

"Shut up, Vic!"

Han nods wistfully as he twirls a cardboard Corellian Beer Hall coaster.

"This room was our last hope. I don't have this much fun at home anymore…" He catches himself and rephrases his words. "What I mean to say is sir…I love your daughter…it's just…."

Anakin excuses him.

"Oh, I know what you mean, Han."

Nakai sums it up for all concerned.

"Basically, Anakin, your decision sucks."

Threepio concurs with his own unsolicited input.

"Indeed. This game was doomed the moment that his father called. That old man is nothing but trouble. I know firsthand. Sir, the odds of surviving another evening will be drastically reduced if he's permitted in the game."

Anakin checks his messages then closes his phone.

"Okay…now, where were we?"

Threepio is in the throes of his tirade.

"Master, this time you've gone too far." Artoo is chirping wildly for him to calm down. .No, I will not be quiet, Artoo! Madame Isabel set up this room for your enjoyment, Master. You'll be absolutely miserable before the evening ends if you invite that man. Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me?"

Anakin points.

"Boba, grab that duct tape on the end table."

Threepio airs his frustration once more.

"I really don't see how that's going to help. Not answering the door tomorrow is a completely acceptable alternative. You could play cards in the dark. He'll think no one's home."

Boba does the honors and tapes the protocol droid's mouth shut. Anakin is grateful. Threepio was starting to give him a headache.

"Thank you."

"No worries, mate."

Professor Solo leans forward at the table.

"What's your next move_, 'hotshot'_ now that you've ruined our hopes of playing a decent game tomorrow night?"

Obi-Wan who has been quiet over on the sofa since the game began has something to say.

"There is another…way…"

Heads turn in his direction. Boba Fett is interested to hear more.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…a bit of reverse psychology does wonders when dealing with the weak-minded."

Anakin just wants the discussion about the old man to end.

"Obi-Wan, my old man is not senile."

"I say we invite him. All will be revealed tomorrow night."

The men prepare to file out of the den for the night. Anakin holds the door for them. Vic Jade bids a cheerfully goodnight.

"See you tomorrow, Anakin. I had a great time!"

"Don't get to used to those credits you're counting 'cause you're going to say goodbye to them tomorrow night."

Out on the terrace there is whistling a familiar tune. Anakin is the last to leave the den when he turns and looks in the direction of the window. He dismisses the faint whistling as the night wind and switches off the light before closing the door. Professor Solo's voice can be heard in the distance.

"Anakin, where is that stunning wife of yours?"

"Keep heading for the door, Professor. Don't you worry about where she is and don't make any detours either. Everyone get the hell out of my house…oh, except for you Nakai and you Obi-Wan."

The den is empty. The melancholy ethereal voice from the terrace resumes.

'_You__ wanna be where you can see, our troubles are all the same. You wanna be where everybody knows your name.'_


	152. Chapter 152 Charity Begins with the Sith

_Chapter 152_

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'_Party Palpa: Charity Begins with the Sith'_

'_Who Do I have to Kill to Get Baptized Around Here?'_

'_On the Brink at the Rink'_

'_Wash Away the Sins of the Sith' _

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After a disastrous launch of his New Year's Sabacc game, Anakin ponders what to do about the following evening. He spends the morning at the rink with the three middle children. Leia makes an appearance after her cooking class is cancelled. It seems that the intergalactic-famed chef and instructor has taken ill after grading dishes prepared by one of his students. This leaves Leia's day wide open. Han reluctantly accompanies her.

The two are sitting on a bench. Han is removing his boot.

"I can't believe your class was cancelled. What did the instructor's assistant say?"

"Just that he came down with a terrible bout of indigestion and stomach cramps and that he will be out indefinitely. Then the weirdest thing happened. The assistant offered me a full refund. That course never offers refunds."

"Maybe it's a sign."

"A sign?"

"Yeah…to do something else in your free time."

"I know, I'll make a batch of soup and bring it to him. He'll feel better and be so grateful that he'll change his mind about canceling the class. I'm his biggest fan. He'll owe it all to me."

"…If he lives through his misery. I think you should keep your distance, babe. It will work to your advantage."

"You really think so, Han?"

"I know so." He looks at the ice skate he is about to slip onto his foot. "Is this really necessary? Why can't we just watch from the stands?"

"Will you just lace up? Everyone's on the ice but us!"

"I'm happy to sit here in the stands."

"Come on!"

"In a moment, your worship."

Not too far away, Anakin, Krizstan, and Palpatine sit in the first row of seats and watch the skaters. Palpatine sips a cup of hot chocolate. He takes one long and loud slurp.

"Anakin, thanks for inviting me."

"What are you talking about? You begged to come."

"Well, thank you for picking us up"

"Yeah…about that. I didn't know Elan was still staying with you. Are you starting some halfway house or something?"

The old man tries to ignore Anakin's comment.

"Just showing a little charity. Still…it's nice to see the children having so much fun. This is delightful. Ana-Lena skates beautifully."

"She's got talent." Anakin smiles proudly as his youngest daughter executes a flawless triple axel and a beautiful layback spin. Anakin applauds. She reminds Anakin of a snow angel in her white ice skating outfit. Palpatine applauds loudly.

"Bravo! She gets that from me you know."

Anakin barks back at him.

"No she doesn't." He looks down the row and sees Han and Leia. "Oh, I knew I felt a disturbance in the Force. My knucklehead son-in-law is here."

Palpatine continues discussing Elan. He is having a mostly one-sided conversation.

"Elan is a good person…in his own way. I'm just trying to lend a hand to someone who's lost his way. That reminds me; where is that crack head moron?"

The baby laughs. Anakin points to the ice.

"Isn't that your little _'Renfield'_ out there on the ice?"

"Ah, yes. What's he doing on the ice? He's supposed to be here in the stands serving me refreshment."

Elan is struggling on the ice. Li –An and Alex guide him by his hands

"Come on! You can do it! It's like walking but on ice."

"I don't think I like this."

"You don't know how to have fun. Is that what drugs do to you? You have no ambition. Taking drugs will rob you of your ambition. That's a famous quote from St. Windu."

"Not if your ambition is to sell death sticks and go clubbing. I have plenty of ambition. Let me go, I can do this."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure. All I have to do is keep moving my feet, right?"

"Something like that. Ready? We'll give you a flying start. Li and I are going to let go of you now."

"Give me a running start. Okay…I'm ready."

The boys release him. Elan is gliding along the ice when he realizes he cannot stop. Palpatine is calling for him.

"Elan! Stop fooling around and get over here!"

Elan is heading full speed for the wall of the rink and crashes into the boards with his face smashed against the plexiglas. Palpatine sees him.

"Oh, there you are. Stop playing with the kids and bring me another hot chocolate."

He turns his attention to Han and Leia who are on the ice.

"Ah yes, and our lovely Leia. I don't recall ever seeing her skate as a child."

"I know. You and I weren't exactly on good terms back then; plus, there was a court order for you to stay away from the twins."

"Oh, yes, now I remember. That was so unfair. Anyway, we're all together now." He pats Anakin on the knee then looks out at the skaters again. He sips his hot chocolate making that same loud gurgling noise. Anakin stares at him for a moment then rolls his eyes.

"Must you do that?"

"Do what?"

"That 'thing' you do with your cup."

"I'm cooling it by sucking in the frosty air so as not to burn my tongue. It's quite scientific."

"It's disturbing."

"I'll do it quieter."

"I don't want you to do it at all."

Han and Leia skate by. Han is struggling and holds onto the rail for dear life. Anakin has a big grin on his face.

"You're a little wobbly there, Han."

"Well, I haven't skated in awhile. It's not my sport."

"What's awhile?"

"Since I was a kid."

Leia turns to her father.

"Daddy, why don't you come onto the ice?"

"I'm babysitting your brother."

"Give him to me."

"No."

"Come on. He's probably bored sitting there on your lap watching the older children. Come on."

"You be careful with him."

Leia takes Kris and skates around the rink with him. Han is left alone at the boards.

"Hey, Leia, I thought we were going to skate together."

Leia is at center ice by now. Anakin stands at the entrance to the ice. He folds his arms and watches as Han struggles to stay upright as other skaters whip pass him.

"You don't look too good, Han."

Han tries to straighten his posture and tries not to slip on the ice.

"I'm fine." He lets go of the rail and moves backward. He is determined to show his father-in-law that he is not afraid to skate on his own. "See? I'm skating." Han is actually moving under his own power. A smile creeps across his face as he builds more confidence. Anakin warns him.

"Don't get cocky, Solo. You don't want to fall on your _'axel.'_"

The rink attendants are busy that day rescuing novice skaters from the ice. Anakin takes Kris from Leia and goes onto the ice to skate. He has no trouble moving around the rink in his charcoal cashmere coat. He performs an inside spread eagle holding the toddler above his head. Kris laughs as he flies high above the ice.

It is soon time to head back home. He has a Sabacc game to host later. The children pile into the YUV. Palpatine sits in the front passenger seat with Anakin. Someone is hobbling towards the vehicle screaming.

"Please! Don't leave me! Wait for me!"

Li-An and Alex look out the window.

"It's Elan. He's coming with us?"

Anakin squints at Palpatine. The engine is running.

"You've got to be _'sithing'_ me."

Ana-Lena points at her father from her car seat.

"Ooooh, Daddy, you said the _'S'_ word."

"Yes I did. Your grandfather is pissing me off."

Li-An opens the door for Elan who requires assistance getting inside. He is out of breath and whimpering.

"Thank you. I think I broke something."

Ana- Lena turns around and sees Elan lying across the third seat beside Li-An.

"Do you want to go to the hospital?"

"Please."

"Daddy, the little bug man needs to see a doctor."

Anakin grumbles to himself.

"He's going to see my foot up his ass if he doesn't stop whining." He shouts so Elan can hear him from the rear seat. "No!"

Two hours later, after a visit to the emergency department, Anakin and the kids return home. Isabel watches the entourage pass her in the foyer. She sees Elan. He is on crutches.

"What happened?"

Li-An removes his parka and hands it to his mother.

"He fell on the way to serve Palps his hot chocolate."

Palpatine looks at Isabel and points to his coat.

"See? He spilt cocoa all over my coat. This is pure baby bantha wool." He tosses the coat over her arm. "Isabel, be a dear and spot clean this for me." He walks off to spend time with the children.

Isabel looks at Anakin. He flashes a goofy smile and shrugs.

"I'll make it up to you." He winks, hands the baby to her, and then heads upstairs. Isabel is not smiling.

"Oh, you can never make this up."

Anakin blows her a kiss and continues up the steps.

Threepio walks over to Isabel with his hands on his hips. He displays his displeasure at Palpatine and Anakin's behavior.

"The nerve of them! I'll help you, Madame Isabel."

"Thank you, Threepio."

The droid takes Alex's hat and places it on top of the coats she has on her arm. He takes off after the children.

"Children, wait for me!"

This is an awkward moment for Artoo who scoots off behind them.

After supper, the children go into the day room to watch the new 'Chewy and Boga' cartoon.

Hours pass and Anakin is now ready to receive his guests. He pushes up the sleeves of his Charcoal cashmere cable turtleneck. The sweater falls neatly at the waistband of his black leather pants.

Elan hobbles into the kitchen. He makes his way over to the stove. Isabel feels breathing on the back of her neck. Elan is standing behind her.

"Something smells real sweet."

Isabel jumps.

"Oh! You scared the hell out of me."

"What are you cooking?"

Isabel looks at the sponge she is using to clean around the stovetop.

"Nothing."

"It must be your hair. It smells like nectar from an orchid." He continues to sniff and hums like a bee hovering over a flower. Isabel folds her arms across her chest.

"I think you should go."

"Oh, okay…see you later." He bats his eyes in an attempt to wink at her but it only results in bizarre twitchy eye movements. Isabel finds this disturbing.

"Is there something in your eye?"

"Only you."

"I hear your boss calling you."

He backs out of the kitchen hitting his injured foot on one of the counter stools.

"Oww…owww….ahem…I'm okay." He waves to her as he leaves. There is a goofy smile on his face.

_**'The Gambler' **_

Palpatine takes a seat at the card table as they await the arrival of the others.

"Anakin, I can't tell you how much this means to me. You are a good son."

"Yeah."

"Where is everyone?"

"They'll be here."

"Well, thank you for looking into getting me baptized."

"What? Oh, yeah. I'm still waiting for an answer."

"I want the children to be proud of me. I want to be like everyone else at Luke's wedding."

"Dad, you'll never be like everyone else."

"That's true. I'm an original."

Anakin walks over to the bar to retrieve ale from the mini-fridge. He says something under his breath.

"An original pain in the ass."

"What's that, Son?"

"Uhm…nothing…looking for the ash…trays."

"This is so exciting. I've never played Sabacc before. Nice card table." He smoothes his pale old hands over the new felt fabric center and wraps his knuckles on the imported Endor oak table. "Exquisite! What are these little crystal things? Candy dishes?"

Anakin looks across the room.

"Oh…ashtrays."

"I never smoked a cigar. This is going to be so much fun."

There is a commotion outside the door. Anakin's guests arrive. Nakai, Lando, and Boba Fett enter the room. Nakai brings barbecue bantha hors d'oeuvres, Boba brings a platter of grilled prawns, and Lando arrives with a case of Hoth .45 malt liquor.

"Hey, Ani, how you doin' buddy!"

"Great, Lando. What's this?" Anakin pulls a bottle from the case. "Lando, you trying to drink us under the table with this stuff?"

"Works every time. I usually like to spend a quiet evening with friends; and there's nothing like a smooth ice cold Hoth .45."

Anakin laughs. "Put that crap in the fridge."

Obi-Wan enters with Vic Jade.

"Good evening, gentlemen."

"Hey, Obi-Wan! Hey,Vic!"

Vic Jade walks into the den carrying a large aluminum disposable roasting pan.

"Hey, fellas. I brought over some _sausiche_ and peppers. Mama Carmella made it fresh just for tonight."

Han enters to den behind his father. He is holding something. Professor Solo hands Anakin a box of cigars.

"Here you go, Anakin, direct from Alderaan to you."

"Thank you, Professor. Leave it on the card table; I know you're going to help yourself to one." He sees Han sitting at the card table. "Han, you're quiet. You're usually running off at the mouth when you walk in here. What's that you're sitting on?" He walks over to the table. Han is leaning to one side and there is a foam donut cushion in the seat. Anakin grins. "Is that from the spill on the ice today?"

"Yes. And _'No'_ I would rather not discuss it."

"Want some coffee with that donut?"

"Laugh it up!..." He decides his response will not serve him well and stops talking. "Never mind"

Anakin is waiting for Han to slip up but his son-in-law is getting hip to him. Anakin gives everyone time to mill about and enjoy some food before the game. He claps his hands to get their attention.

"Alright! Everybody take a seat! We don't have all night. Use napkins and don't get any sauce on my card table. My wife paid a lot of credits for it. It's custom-made. Okay…as you all know, I have invited my old man to our Sabacc game. Show your good will and welcome him into the fold. That's a little Sabacc card humor."

Vic is the only one laughing.

Palpatine waves as if he were on the campaign trail for the galactic senate. There are no cheers for him. The men take their places around the Sabacc table. Obi-Wan sits on the sofa and pours some Hoth .45 into a glass. Artoo prepares to deal the cards. Palpatine wrings his hands together.

"This is so exciting. So, what are we playing? Crazy Eights, Mos Eisley 'Hold 'Em'?"

Han corrects him.

"Don't you know that 'Crazy Eights'' is a child's game?"

Obi-Wan sets his drink on the table.

"I hear you're looking to get baptized, Dantius."

Palpatine ignores Han.

"I'm working on it. Anakin is helping me."

"That's very charitable of him…but have you considered the ramifications of your presence here tonight?"

"What are you talking about, Master Kenobi?"

"The church frowns upon gambling for any candidate vying for baptism."

Palpatine turns in his chair.

"Just what do you mean, Jedi?"

"You must be free from sin…no drinking, no gambling, no promiscuity. You must show charity to your fellow man…friend or foe."

"_Foe_ what?"

"You must be pure of heart. Turn away from the dark side. Reject the Eight deadly sins."

"I thought there were seven."

"Good catch. You're on your way. It is your first step to being sin-free."

"Well all of you have done each of those things."

Boba Fett chimes in with his thoughts.

"We're already baptized. We're covered, mate."

"Aren't you cloned?"

"So? Clones get baptized all the time."

"But…"

Professor Solo pokes Palpatine in the chest.

"What our cloned friend is trying to say you old fossil is that we're all _untouchable_."

"But what about tonight's game?"

Obi-Wan continues.

"You can play of course…your son invited you…but do you want to lose your last opportunity to get baptized for the momentary pleasure of one game? All your family fought for will have been in vain."

Nakai pats Palpatine on the shoulder.

"Think about the grandchildren. It will break their hearts. Especially little Ana-Lena…"

Palpatine is torn. He wants desperately to take part in a game of Sabacc but he does not wish to disappoint his granddaughter. He looks to Anakin.

"What do you think, Anakin?"

"It's up to you, Dad. If you want to take the chance…"

"And if I play?"

"You won't get baptized…not from a Jedi…"

"Can I at least watch?"

"Sure…I don't think it counts against you as much if you watch us gamble."

"Then I must respectfully decline your invitation to play, my son."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure, Anakin."

Obi-Wan holds up his glass.

Palpatine rises from the Sabacc table and takes a seat on the leather sofa near Obi-Wan. The men at the table immediately begin to play.

Obi-Wan nods.

"Here, here. You've made a wise decision, Plops."

"It's Palps. Are you drunk already, Master Kenobi?"

"Barely. Can I offer you a Hoth .45?"

Palpatine turns up his nose at the offer.

"I am abstaining. Where's that idiot assistant of mine? Elan!"

Elan has been poking his head out the door. He walks over to the sofa..

"Yes, boss?"

"Bring me…what's that beverage that Luke loves so much?" He snaps his finger as he tries to recall the name.

"Gee boss, I don't know."

"What do I pay you for?"

Suddenly Elan thinks up a laundry list of things he does for the old Sith.

"Let's see…oh, you pay me to drive you around, pick up your dry-cleaning, wash your feet, set your hair, read you your lines, set up your dressing room at the theater, remove the dead flowers your enemies leave at the stage door…"

Palpatine interrupts him.

"I don't have enemies."

"Yes you do."

"Ah, yes, yes…you are right."

"I also sort through your hate mail…"

Palpatine interrupts again.

"I've got fan mail?"

"If you count the old wenches at the Shady Acres Retirement Home."

"I don't care about those old cows."

"Then you have no fan mail…except for Galactic Actor's Equity. They put a Befana card and birthday card in your union dues notice. " Elan continues his list of 'duties' for the old man. " …seal up the blaster holes from your would-be assassins…people still hate you, you know….do your manicure, your pedicure, and rub ointment on your liver spots…. and believe me, I don't get paid enough for that …could I have a raise?"

Palpatine is growing impatient with his little go-fer.

"Get my drink…what is that name of that silly beverage?"

Han gives him the answer for which he is searching.

"Raspberry Rodia Soda."

Palpatine smiles cheerfully and points to Han.

"Yes! That's it." He turns to Elan. "…And get bring me a straw and a glass."

"Yes, boss." He starts out the door of the den."

"Where are you going?"

"To get you a soda pop."

"Don't we have it here?"

Anakin is examining the cards in his hand.

"Soda pop is in the pantry."

Elan looks at Anakin.

"Is…is that near the kitchen?"

"What? Yes, Elan, near the kitchen."

Boba Fett imitates Elan's smarmy voice, which sounds like a cross between a nerdy buzzing insect and a cartoon pig.

"_Buzz…Deeb-deeb… where's the pop, boss?"_

Lando and Han laugh. Lando shakes his head as Boba starts to taunt Elan.

"Boba, you need to cut that out."

"Hey, Buzz…Spider…whatever your name is…bring me one of those Rodia sodas too. Hop to!" He pulls out his blaster pretending to pistol-whip Elan who flinches at the sight of the weapon.

Elan leaves the den. He hobbles towards the kitchen after first glancing up the staircase. He sees a bantha pashmina lying across an armchair in the living room. He holds it to his face and sniffs it.

"What are you doing?"

Elan is startled. He looks down and sees Li-An leaving the kitchen carrying a tall glass of strawberry milk. He is in his pajamas and waits for an answer from Elan.

"Uhm….I have to get some soda pops for the guys back in the den."

"Soda pop? Li-An laughs and then takes the pashmina. "I'll take that. It belongs to my mother. Follow me."

He leads Elan to the pantry and points to the shelf.

"How many do you need?"

"Three I guess."

"Take them then. Why are you creeping around our house?"

"Should you be drinking strawberry milk this time of night? You should be in bed."

"That's none of your business. You can go now."

"Why are you so bossy?"

"I was born this way. And you should be on your way."

Li-An waits for Elan to return to the den before heading back upstairs.

Elan returns with the Rodia soda pop. He hops over to Palpatine. The old man yells at him.

"What took you so long?"

"I didn't know where it was." He hobbles over to the card table and hands Boba Fett his bottle of pop. Boba notices Elan's bandaged foot.

"Hey dung beetle! That bandage on your foot is bigger than your bloody head, mate!"

"Can it, tin head!"

Nakai laughs.

"Whoa! That a boy, Elan, you show him you don't take crap from anybody." Nakai hands him some money. "Here you go. You earned it."

Elan works his way around the table until he is standing behind Anakin. Anakin is losing patience with him.

"What the _'sith'_ are you doing? You're hanging around my neck like an _'effing'_ varactyl, like impending death!"

"Can I get you anything, Mr. Skywalker?"

"No."

Han looks up at Elan.

"What's with the stupid look on your face?"

"I think I've met the girl of my dreams."

"Ha ha ha ha! That's where she's going to stay."

"I'm serious."

Lando grins as he picks a card from the deck.

"Awww shucks! Our little buddy's got a love interest."

Han looks up at Elan.

"I didn't think you had it in you. You should go for it." He nudges Anakin who is in deep thought deciding how to play his hand. "Right?"

"What? Sure…whatever."

Elan sits behind Professor Solo. He opens a bottle of Rodia soda and downs a few gulps. Boba watches him for a moment then nudges Vic.

"Hey, Sleezi, what do you do when you're not pressing the Emperor's old robes?"

"Hah-ha. Very funny. And don't call be that."

Vic Jade regards Elan with come curiosity.

"Elan, where are you from?"

"I was born on Balosar but I moved here after I got expelled from school."

"What's your last name again?"

Han and Boba shout, Sleezy-baliggi! Aha-ha-ha!"

"That's not my name. It's Sel'Sabagno."

Vic is intrigued.

"You're paesan?"

"No, Balosarian. I have an uncle who's '_poison'_ but that's from working at the pharmaceutical company for so long."

Professor Solo selects a card from the deck before blurting out and insult.

"Ah, I knew it. That's all you need, one thieving Balos on the team."

There are looks but no remarks for the others. Elan makes a feeble attempt to defend himself.

"What did you say?"

"You heard me. I said that you're a lying member of a no good race on a polluted good for nothing planet!"

Han is almost uncomfortable by his father's barrage of insults. Lando and Nakai are too. Anakin stops and looks as if Solo Senior has lost his mind. Everyone at the table shouts back. Obi-Wan is drinking merrily as he stands behind the bar making his own refill. He has no clue as to what the Professor has said. He raises his shot glass.

"Cheers!"

Anakin is stunned and all he can utter is a scolding. "Hey! Solo, watch it!"

Han is the most vocal and embarrassed by his father's remarks.

"Whoa! Dad! Take it easy!"

Elan snaps back.

"I can defend myself. I'm not wimpy like everyone says. I got guts…I got ambition, you pompous Corellian wrix!"

The room fills with a unanimous boos and groans.

"Ooooooo…"

Silence fills the room. Suddenly the professor gives Elan a hearty slap on the back, The Balosar almost falls off the chair. The professor releases a loud laugh.

"I like him."

Everyone breathes a sigh of relief. Palpatine turns to the professor.

"If you're going to '86' him, wait until the end of my shows' run. It'll be murder to find another stage assistant otherwise." Palpatine looks around at the stunned faces then catches himself.

"Did that come out of me? Oh dear, there must be something in this pop." He takes another sip from the straw. Anakin stares at him as he makes that annoying sipping noise with the straw.

Nakai smiles as he speaks to Elan.

"Hey, Elan, you're gonna call this girl you like?"

"Well…I don't know. Maybe. You think I should?"

"Hell, yeah! You need to take a chance. Better to love and lost than never to have loved at all."

Boba Fett snorts.

"What? Where'd you get that line, mate, off of a Chandrilan greeting card?"

"I'm paraphrasing. Anyway, Boba, you're too cynical, but I forgive you 'cause you're a clone."

Elan is confused.

"A clown?"

Nakai repeats himself.

"A clone."

Vic takes a sip from his bottle of Hoth .45

"Who's alone?"

Boba answers.

"Elan."

Lando tosses two cards on the table.

"Call this girl. Let's see if she's worth the aggravation."

"You sure? Now?"

"I think our little friend is losing his nerve."

"I'm beginning to think there is no girl."

"But there is."

"Call her. Call her right now."

Vic, Han, and Boba start chanting.

"Call her…call her…call her…"

Han, Boba, and Vic get him so pumped up he feels compelled to make his feelings known.

"I'll do it!" Elan runs out of the den. He almost forgets about his injured foot.

Han gets up and follows.

"I've got a bad feeling about this. Someone go after that fool before he hurts himself."

Lando laughs.

"You were cheering him on a second ago. Where's he going? The phone is in here…Oh no he didn't!"

Anakin is still fixed on the game. Suddenly most of the players have left the table Nakai and Lando get up. "

Elan is at the staircase. He calls to the object of his affection.

"Isabel! Isabel!"

The Professor and Anakin look up at one another. They storm out of the den. Obi-Wan and Palpatine follow. Anakin gives warning in a low ominous tone.

"Elan, if you set that bandaged foot on one step, you'll wish you were dead."

Anakin grabs him by the scruff of the neck. Elan flails like a bug caught in a spider web.

"He-elp! The crazy guy in the black turtleneck is trying to kill me."

"Do you think I need to try? I ought to…" Anakin drags the skinny assistant away from the stairs and back into the den like a man possessed. He slams Elan firmly in one of the chairs. The Dark Lord is fuming.

Elan watches the vein in the Dark Lord's temple throb. He closes his eyes.

"Please, Mr. Skywalker, don't kill me. I'm still recovering from that baby pulling at my antennae."

"Shut up!" Anakin paces the room, looking around at everyone. He is fuming and he points an accusing finger at Boba Fett. "This is your fault!"

Boba points to himself.

"My fault? Crikey! I didn't know the little bloke would go mad after your Sheila."

"Who's Sheila? I'm talking about my wife. Come over here and lend me a hand."

A few moments later, Elan is duct taped to his chair, which is positioned between Anakin and Professor Solo. The Sabacc game is back on track. Unfortunately, boredom can be a powerful ally to the weak-willed and perpetually annoying.. Elan cranes his neck to see what the players are doing. He peers over Professor' Solo's shoulder.

"So, if you have two staves, a saber and a coin, what's that get you?"

Solo throws his cards on the table and gives Elan a dirty look.

"You are getting on my nerves you whimpering little flea bag."

"What did I do?"

The professor pulls an elegant-looking pen out of his inside jacket pocket.

"Do you know that this pen can inject lethal dose of Ixetal cilona."

"What are you going to do, write me to death? Hahira" .

"No. I'm going to poke you with it."

Elan keeps quiet for the remainder of the game. It is late .The game ends around two in the morning. Nakai wins the pot of credits. The guests prepare to leave. Palpatine takes Anakin aside to speak to him.

"Anakin, we don't have a ride home; could we stay the night?"

Anakin stops everyone making a mad rush to the door.

"Slow down, guys. Someone's going to take these two home tonight."

Lando points to Boba Fett.

"Let Boba do it. I blame him me for losing tonight."

"I would but I don't trust him. He'll leave the gnat and my old man stranded by the side of the road and I'll have to get out of bed and pick them up. Vic, get over here. Since you're the new guy and so anxious to please me, I'm putting you in charge of taking them back to Shady Acres. Well my friend, are you ready to do me this service?"

Vic Jade nods.

I will use all my powers, all my skill, as I respect you, your lordship to do what I must do, Godfather?"

Anakin looks at Vic Jade.

"I'm not Fat Bantha, Vic. All I want you to do is to give the old man a ride home…you know what? I've changed my mind. Boba, you cloned S.O.B. rat bastard. You're going to take them home; and you want to know why you're going to do it? I'm going to reach out with the Force and strangle the living daylights out of you and every single one of your damned clones too! Now I am feeling better. Get the hell out of my house. Han, I hope you look less pitiful the next time I see you."

"Thanks…I Think"

Anakin turns to Han's father.

"Solo Senior, it's good to see you again…really."

The two men shake hands.

"It's a pleasure seeing you again to, Skywalker. You're a great host."

"Of course I am."

Anakin turns to Lando.

"Lando, good to see you. Don't be a stranger…and don't bring another case of that Hoth .45 swill when you come over…or else…I'll choke you."

Lando chuckles and pats Anakin on the back.

"Alright…You have my word, ol' buddy."

Anakin watches as Lando heads out the door. Nakai is next.

"Nakai, you've finally won a game, you old krayt dragon. What are you going to do with the credits?"

"It's going to charity."

"What?"

"I promised your wife…my daughter and my grandchildren that I would give it to charity."

"Have you lost your mind?"

"My wife is on my case too. I have to do it, Anakin. She's going to nag me until I give it up."

"We have to do this in secret from now on. Goodnight, Pop."

"Goodnight, Anakin."

Obi-Wan walks up behind Anakin.

"Well, Anakin, another delightful evening.. "

"You're drunk, Obi-Wan."

"Guestroom?"

"Upstairs to the right.. I'll give Bunny a call."

"You're a good friend, Anakin. Goodnight."

He pats Anakin on the shoulder.

"Goodnight, Obi-Wan."

The following morning at the cathedral Anakin watches as the collection basket makes its way to the Skywalker Family pew. He winces as Nakai engages in a 'tug-of-war' with the monk Nakai has trouble releasing the bulging envelope of cash. Ouisanne nudges her husband. He finally relinquishes the money. Nakai and Anakin glance at one another. Anakin pretends to massage his forehead in order to hide the smirk on his face. Isabel looks at her husband as he lowers his head. When the basket reaches their row, Anakin drops an envelope of his own into the basket.

The priest greets the parishioners they leave the church.

"Mr. and Mrs. Skywalker, it's so good to see you and the family today."

Isabel speaks.

"Good morning, Your Eminence. That was a lovely sermon you gave today."

"Well, I Thought it befitting this early in the year that people are still in the giving spirit. Mr. Skywalker, you seemed visibly moved today during the homily."

"Oh, yes; I was moved. I was just praying that all of our small contributions would do something to end the suffering in the galaxy."

"It will, it will…I noticed your father-in-law seems to feel the same way. You should be very proud of these two men, Isabel."

"I am. They spent hours last night to set aside this money."

"If only more people would take their lead, it would do so much to change the lives of so many millions of people."

Anakin nods.

"Well, you did say, _'Give till it hurts.' _I'm aching all over."

"Bless you my son. There is a place in heaven for you."

"It must be the penthouse suite for the amounts I've been giving. Heh heh-heh.." The laugh dies off as the Jedi priest does not get the humor of Anakin's little quip.

After dropping off the family to spend the afternoon with Nakai and Ouisanne, Anakin drives across town to pick up Palpatine at the retirement condo.

"Where are we going?"

"We have an appointment with someone who may be able to baptize you or at the very least, cleanse your soul."

'Really? Where?"

"Just keep your mouth shut and let me do the talking."

They arrive on the outskirts of town on a desolate road. A sign with an arrow reads, 'Lhasa Shou Nien Temple 20 Meters Due East.' Anakin stops his speeder another 20 meters away.

"We have to walk the rest of the way."

"Where?"

"Up"

"All the way up there?"

"Come on, let's go."

They walk up to a terracotta building with a thatched golden roof. A plaque on the side of the building confirms that they are at the right place:

_**Coruscant Chapter of the Lhasa Shou**__** Nien Temple**_

_**Hours of Business: 5:30 to 11:45hrs and 2:00 to 16:00hrs**_

_**Closed for Lunch**_

_**Visitors Welcome**_

A gong is located on the top step. There is writing on a stone tablet to the right of the gong. It is in Sullustan.

"Crap, I should have brought Threepio with us to translate."

The next line reads _'See below for translation.'_ Anakin gets a look from the old man. Anakin is a bit defensive.

"I was just about to read the next part."

"Of course you were." Palpatine rolls his eyes.

Directly beneath the Sullustan writing is the translation in Basic:

'_Bang the Gong Slowly…One Time Only Please.'_

"Palpatine are you sure this is the place? It doesn't look like a Jedi church."

"It's not." He bangs the gong. They wait a moment. Anakin tries once more. Palpatine is having second thoughts about this odd-looking place. He quickly turns away, grabbing Anakin by the sleeve.

"Let's go; no one's around."

Suddenly the doors open. Anakin grabs the old man by the collar of his jacket and shoves him through the door first.

They enter a dimly lit antechamber with ornate fabric panels hanging from the ceiling. A series of giant spindles are situated on the left and right of them.

"What are these, Anakin?"

"How do I know? I'm here for the first time the same as you are. They remind me of that giant spindle one that game show you used to watch at thee old folks home… 'Wheel of Utapaun'."

"That was only to kill time while I was imprisoned in that hell hole."

"Don't start."

"I'm just saying…anyway…it would be funny if the game show host Wink Darklighter came out with a wad of cash."

"Buy a vowel." The two of them snicker. Palpatine spins one of the wheels. Anakin whispers.

"Dad, don't touch!"

Someone appears from the shadows.

"Yes, don't touch sacred scroll. You don't obey rule."

Anakin sees the short figure approach them and nudges his father.

"See, I told you not to touch anything."

The voice directs a comment to Anakin.

"And you, tall one. You don't follow instructions. Old guy is too feeble and ignorant to know better. You bang gong two time when sign specifically say bang gong one time. Much to learn you have."

"Yoda?"

"Yoda? Who Yoda? I am Hujaan Paos."

"Hunan Palace?"

"No, no! Hujaan Paos! Hujaan Paos!"

Anakin whispers to Palpatine.

"I was getting hungry all of a sudden."

Palpatine whispers back with a chuckle.

"Me too."

The monk grumbles.

"Silence! You are here to see the venerable Nub Numsie?"

Anakin clears his throat and answers, remembering to bow respectfully.

"Yes."

"Follow me."

The men are lead down a quiet corridor to another room. There are four pillars with large candles at the top of each one. The monk points to the dark stone floor.

"Sit down. Venerable leader Nub Numsie will arrive momentarily."

The monk bows and takes a few steps back before he disappears into the darkness. Anakin and Palpatine sit on red silk-covered cushions as they await the arrival of the mysterious holy man. Palpatine's stomach rumbles. Anakin holds back a laugh as the old Sith complains.

"We should have stopped at a diner on the way. I'm starving."

"So am I. All I had was a communion wafer during Mass."

"Well at least you were allowed in church to receive Communion. Remember that."

They sigh in unison then sit for a few minutes longer before someone enters the room. The robed figure moves closer to them. He speaks without warning.

"Stand up!"

The father and son scramble to their feet standing at attention. Anakin kicks the cushion behind him and folds his hands in front of him. The robed figure looks up at them before speaking again.

"What is purpose of your visit, tall one?"

Anakin bows politely and steps forward.

"To get my father cleansed of his sins."

Palpatine rolls his eyes. The robed figure speaks again.

"Sit down."

Anakin obeys. He has trouble locating the cushion he kicked away. Palpatine sits beside his son. The robed figure speaks once more.

"Why you sit down, Old man? I tell string bean son to sit. You stand. Stand now! Family got your spirit so broken, you do what son say too quickly. What are your sins?"

"Oh…well…it was so long ago…I haven't hurt anyone in years…well, not permanently….I'm much better."

"Shut up! You give Nub Numsie big headache. You former Evil Emperor?"

"Yes…you've heard of me? I thought you guys were cloistered…"

"Silence, impudent one! We just say we never heard of you. Rest of galaxy leave us alone. So, what make you think we help you more than Jedi church? We look gullible to you?"

"No, no... Of course not. We…my son thought you could make me a better person."

Nub Numsie sighs heavily as he considers helping the old Sith.

"You that guy in the theatre?"

Palpatine's eyes light up and he smiles.

"Yes! That's me! I'm an institution!"

"I know. Terrible show."

"What?"

"We visit downtown theatre district. Get discount tickets to show. You make us laugh. Listen, we give you test. If you pass, we make recommendation. Follow me." He leads Palpatine to a row of prayer wheels. Four other monks accompany them. He spins one of the wheels and begins to chant.

"Help us lead this old man to righteousness even though he is a pitiful Sith and therefore unworthy of your interest!"

He holds out his hand indicating the next prayer wheel. He gestures for Palpatine to spin it.

"Me? Oh…okay." Palpatine gives the wheel a strong spin and begins to chant like Nub Numsie. "Help me gain favor in the gods so I will no longer be ostracized by my family and the general public and the rest of the people in the galaxy who are still holding grudges against me….please….."

The wheel is still spinning. Nub Numsie gives Palpatine a dirty look then stops the wheel.

"You spin too fast. Why you spin wheel like that? This is not game show. This is sacred prayer wheel, ignorant man!"

"I'll do it slower."

"Forget it. No wonder whole galaxy hate you. You spin too fast. You must be big pain in butt at home. You need calming presence in your life. You unbalance the Force."

Palpatine corrects him.

"You mean there's a great disturbance in the Force."

"That too. Follow me. You must leave now. You disrupt perfect Shou Nien Temple harmony."

The Shou Nien leader greets a new monk who arrives at the door. He is holding something in his arms.

"This is for you. "

Palpatine looks down at the creature.

"An Ewok? What am I supposed to do with that? It looks like a dust mop."

"Not Ewok you ignorant man! It is mascot and protector of Shou Nien Monastery. You take now or you have bad karma for next hundred years."

"Fine! Where's my son?"

"He's coming now. You two must go now. Towering son eat too much."

Anakin walks to the anteroom where they first arrived. He is eating something.

"Hey, Dad, how did it go?"

"I'll tell you all about it in the speeder. What are you eating?"

"Barbecued Sullustan Bantha ribs."

"Where did you get food?"

"I was invited to eat in the monk's dining hall. It's primitive but the food is pretty good. What's that in your arms?"

"Lhasa Apso…some sort of dog. It's supposed to help me."

"It looks like a long-haired Ewok."

"Well, it's not. Let's go."

"You're not putting that thing in my speeder."

"Don't do this to me, Anakin. I've been through enough."

They leave the monastery and walk to the speeder. Anakin sets the takeout container on the dashboard as he reads from a sheet of paper.

"Dad, How about making another stop? There's another place. We could go here. They may be able to save your soul."

"Fine. Can I have some of those spare ribs?"

_**'The Devil Went Down To Geonosis' **_

They drive west to a road with a clapboard church building on the edge of town. They hear harmonious voices singing inside. Anakin pulls into the driveway. The music and voices are louder. They walk through the doors. Elderly women in white smile as the two men step inside. Men in suits, wearing white gloves nod politely. There is a full house. A man in his 60's stands at the lectern by the altar. He wears a burgundy preachers' robe. A congregation hums and sings solemnly. An organ pipes out a tune and several member of the choir shake their tambourines. The preacher at the lectern steps from the altar to greet them. The congregation is praying and shouting to the choir. The preacher shakes Anakin's hand and then greet Palpatine.

"Brother Anakin and Brother Dantius, welcome to the Sanctified Benevolent Total Package Church of the Holy Original Trilogy. I'm The Righteous Sweet Reverend Otis T. Day Devine IIIBrothers and Sisters put your hands together for theLove and the Happiness Tabernacle Gospel Choir for their welcoming song _'When the Sith Comes Knocking I'll Turn and Run.'_ Can I get an Amen?"

The congregation responds with a loud _'Amen!'_

He directs four women standing at the bottom of the altar.

"Sister Supreme, Sister Marvelette, Sister Bertrille, and Sister Chiffon, take Brother Anakin to the parish hall for some refreshment. He has traveled a long way to see us. Show him your hospitality."

The women escort Anakin out of the church to an adjoining room. The reverend takes the microphone and says a prayer. He takes Palpatine by the hand and raises it to the heavens.

"Thank you! We bring Brother Dantius before you Lord, to wash away his sins, cleanse his soul, lift him up to the heavens, and take the Sith for a ride to never return. Can I get an Amen? Can I get an Amen, somebody?"

"Amen!"

"Brother Dantius, are you ready to be received for the Master Cleansing?"

"I, I think so."

"You got to feel it or the spirit can't set you free. Can you feel it, Brother, Dantius?"

"I can feel it…My arm is getting tied, I know that much. Can I put my arm down now?"

"No! That's that Sith Devil trying to hold you back from salvation. I see you brought your little adopted Ewok child with you today."

"No, it's a dog."

"Well, the Jedi lord loves all creatures great and small but our ushers don't do pooper scooper duty. He has to wait outside."

"I'll pay. "

Anakin returns briefly holding up a thick wad of credits. An usher hurries to the altar to collect the money. Another usher follows close behind. Reverend Otis is jubilant.

"Thank you! Praise the Jedi Gods for this handsome donation. Brother, Ebenezer, get the scooper! Thank Brother Ebenezer, one of our Knights of Coruscant."

One of the elderly ushers, wearing a green shriners hat, takes the dog by its red velvet leash and stands near the door of the church. The choir sings a lively gospel hymn as Anakin dumps a hefty donation into the gold collection plate. He disappears into the parish hall. Reverend Otis continues to address the congregation.

"The spirit has spoken! The Jedi spirit reached out to me, _'Reverend Sweet Otis,'_ he said, _'Help this man.'_ I asked, How? He said, _'The Devil has come with him. He hitched a ride with this man, turned him every which way, but loose; pulled him hither and dither; over and yon. It's time to turn him away and tell him he's not welcome to torment this old man anymore!' _Do I hear an Amen?"

The congregation and choir respond with a resounding 'Amen!'

"To help tell this man's story is Brother Festus our colorful choir master. Praise be to the Jedi Lord. Welcome Brother Festus."

A tall, thin man with a ruddy complexion and long hair, his head covered with a cowboy hat, steps up to the microphone. He holds a fiddle and looks out on the congregation. The man speaks with a slow drawl.

"Thank you, Rev. My fellow brothers, and sisters of this congregation. I have a story to tell. It is the story of this poor, downtrodden old man who lost his way. I got my fiddle right here and I'm gonna tell you the tale of how the devil tempted this poor man. It goes like this:

_The devil went down to Geonosis. He was lookin' for a soul to steal. He was in a bind 'cause_

_he was way behind, and he was willin' to make a deal, He saw a young man full of ambition and said son I'll tell you what I can give you the power of Dark lightning, I can give you power over the galaxy; I can give you everlasting life. Be my apprentice and you will become an all-powerful Sith Lord. Our brother Dantius was torn and he was filled with temptation of the immense power. As a result, our brother lost his way. He killed his master, the one who took him under his wing. The Devil took hold of Dantius and grabbed his soul, but now he wants to turn away and tell the Sith he's through. _Brother Dantius, are you willing to turn your back on the dark ways?

"Yes, I am"

The Reverend Otis takes the mike from Brother Festus.

"Thank you, Brother Festus. You'll get to perform your hillbilly violin solo later on during the service." He turns to Palpatine. "Are you ready to be healed today, Brother Dantius? Are you ready to ready to denounce the demons, the suffering, and the pain? Say it! Say it! Say it with me!"

"I am ready."

"Say it like you mean it."

"I'm ready to release all of my demons!"

"Ask for salvation, Brother _'D'_ and you shall receive it. Do you want salvation?"

"I do. I do!"

"Save this man, Lord!"

A woman in the choir chants and hums. "Lord! Lord! Lord! Save this man's soul! Tell him to say 'No' to the devil. Say 'No' to the Sith! Amen!"

Voices from the congregation echo her bellowing. The Reverend Otis shouts.

"As I lay my hands on you Brother Dantius. I sense great pain in you. Fight the demons with all your might! Fight the power that is evil inside you! Oh, Jedi spirits, cast the demons out of this wretched man!"

The woman from the choir repeats after Reverend Otis.

"Cast them out! Fight those demons! Give those demons beat a down!"

Reverend Otis presses his hands against Palpatine's forehead. Two ushers stand behind the old Sith. Reverend Otis continues.

"As I lay my hands on you, Brother Dantius, I feel those demons struggling to stay in. They're coming at me; fighting me…they don't want to leave… They are stubborn old demons…I can feel the heat of evil…It's electrifying! There's a powerful Force just clawing at this poor old man! I can feel the power flowing through him. Be gone you evildoers!"

The congregation repeats these words.

"Be gone, be gone! Hallelujah!"

"It's coming to the surface. Yell for salvation, Brother Dantius!" Reverend Otis gazes upward as if looking to the heavens. "Give us a sign!" He starts shaking and dancing around the altar. He falls backward to the floor and flails his arms and legs like a turtle turned on its back. The organist plays frantically. Just as quickly, the preacher leaps back to his feet waving his arms above his head. One of the assistants douses Palpatine with water from a plastic bucket. A woman in a nurses' uniform drapes a towel over his head. The Lhasa Apso is barking in the back of the church. The congregation goes wild. Three women faint in the pews. Six new ushers appear, dressed as nurses to catch the women. The preacher holds Palpatine's face in his hands then releases him. Palpatine stumbles backwards a few steps.

Anakin meanwhile is standing in the doorway watching the mayhem. He is holding a paper plate filled with baked macaroni and cheese, collard greens, corn bread and roast chicken. The choir is singing and tambourines are rattling. Reverend Otis shouts.

"Hallelujah! Amen!"

Anakin chuckles as he observes Palpatine getting the 'demons' beaten out of him. Anakin manages to swallow a mouthful of food before responding to the preacher and congregation. With his fork in hand, he raises his right hand.

"Hallelujah!"

After the service, Anakin thanks the preacher and leaves with his father. They head to the speeder. Palpatine sees him carrying a covered plate and a paper bag to the vehicle. Palpatine looks.

"Where did you get that food?"

"At the church."

"I'm starving and you've be gorging yourself all afternoon."

"It's for you."

"Oh, thank you, Anakin. How very thoughtful."

The dog sits on his lap sniffing at the plate. Anakin starts driving.

"Don't even think about feeding that thing in my speeder."

"He must me hungry. Poor thing. We should stop at the supermarket on the way home."

"We don't have time. We have another stop to make."

"What?"

"It's okay. We're just going to visit Nakai."

"Oh…alright. I don't believe I've ever been invited to their home."

"Well, technically, we're not going into their home…They haven't invited you inside."

They arrive at the Nor home. Anakin gets out. He is carrying something under his arm. He reaches for the dog.

"Hand me that mutt."

"Why?"

"We're going to be tied up for awhile so I'll leave him in a safe place."

"Safe place? Where?"

"With 'Top people.' Stop your whining."

Anakin walks up to the door. Ouisanne opens the door and smiles.

"Anakin! Nakai said you were stopping by. Isabel and the kids left a few hours ago."

"Hi, Mom." He gives her a warm embrace. She sees the dog. What's this? Isn't he precious? Lil' Hellraiser's going to love you."

Palpatine pokes his head from behind Anakin's left shoulder. He waves to her.

"Ouisanne, good to see you. Uhm…take good care of him. I just got him today."

"I will. You men go have fun."

Palpatine follows Anakin away from the house.

"What did she mean by that remark? Who is this 'Hellraiser' fellow?"

"You'll find out soon enough. I'm sure they'll be fine together. 'Lil Hell' is a bit territorial…"

"What does that mean?"

Anakin does not answer as he leads the old man towards the back of the house. They continue on pass a rose hip bush and blue cornflower plants that lay dormant until spring. They cut through the side of the workshop down a wooded path a few yards beyond. They arrive at a wooden hut. The front door and exterior of the hut is covered with ornate blankets. Two men stand outside the hut. Anakin removes his jacket, pants, and shoes. He turns to Palpatine.

"Remove your shoes. Show some respect."

"What is this, Anakin?"

"You'll find out soon enough."

"So far I'm not finding out much of anything soon enough. It's been one big surprise after another."

He reluctantly follows Anakin's lead and strips down to his white t-shirt and shorts. Anakin chuckles at the old man's spindly pasty legs and body. Nakai greets them as they enter the hut on their hands and knees. He gestures for them to sit cross-legged with Palpatine sitting close to the fire pit. Smoke from the Mustafar lava rocks and Endor cedar billows up through a hole in the ceiling of the hut.

An elderly man is seated opposite Palpating close to the pit. Another much older man sits to Palpatine's left. Another is busy turning the rocks in the pit. No one says anything but Palpatine is anxious to speak.

"What is this?"

Anakin quietly hands the first man the package he carried in with him from the speeder. Palpatine whispers to Anakin.

"Anakin, what's that?"

No one speaks. He surmises that the older man must be the elder. The man seated in front of him gathers some ashes in a clay bowl. He waves a Varactyl feather over it to force up the smoke, and then leans towards Palpatine. He blows the smoky ash in Palpatine's face. The old Sith begins a coughing fit as tries to fan the residual dust away. Some of the ash winds up in his mouth.

"Hey!" He coughs and gags.

Anakin sits quietly, pursing his lips to avoid laughing. Palpatine's face is covered with soot. His blue eyes blink from irritation. The much older man to his left begins a low hum, which escalates into a high-pitched chant. Palpatine sighs.

"Another chant? Aww, come on! How much more must I endure?"

The first elder speaks.

"You want redemption Wanishicu? You ask for much but you do not show commitment, humility, patience, sincerity…."

"Alright, alright! You've made your point." He reaches for his jacket pocket then remembers he has left it outside. He leans over to the old man to his left and wipes his face on the man's shirt. "I didn't realize it required blowing soot in my face... I didn't even know I was coming here until we drove up the driveway…and good grief! It's like a bloody sauna in here!"

The old man responds in a calm but lecturing tone.

"The spirits say you complain too much. You have no peace in your heart. You are not yet ready to receive salvation. I cannot resume the purification ritual for you."

Palpatine looks through the haze across the room at Anakin. It is difficult to see him.

"I'm ready! Anakin, tell him I'm ready!" he looks at the old man. "Just who are you anyway?"

"I am Shaman Green Boga Feather. Your host and sponsor Nakai is _'Wild Krayt Dragon'_, to your right tending the fire is _'Crouching Dewback'_, to your left is my chanter, _'Dances with Tauntauns'_, and the tall one is honorary chief for a month, 'Two Sun-Set with Sand-In-Hair'."

"How did he get to be chief for a month?" He turns to give Anakin a scornful look but he still cannot see him.

Green Boga Feather responds.

"Chief Two-Sun-Set with Sand in Hair made a good offering to please the spirits."

"Do I get an honorary name?"

Shaman Green Boga Feather thinks for a moment. "From now on your name will be _'Old Wailing Wampa'_"

"That name hardly sounds noble like the ones everybody else has."

"How about _'Pale Face Jedi Killer?'_"

"That's a little harsh. That was a long time ago!" He grumbles a bit. "Humph. Fine!" His voice fades out as he reluctantly repeats his _'given'_ name. " I'll take _'Old Wailing Wampa_._'_"

Green Boga Feather hands Palpatine a pipe to smoke. "Here, let us smoke awhile."

"No thanks. I'm not much into smoking…."

"You refuse an offer to share this?" He holds the pipe in Palpatine's face. He finally accepts it. Palpatine wipes the mouthpiece first. After one puff, he coughs and makes a sour face.

Green Boga Feather rolls his eyes and shakes his head in pity.

"You have a long journey ahead of you, old pasty one."

"I didn't know I was going anywhere. What are you going to do to me next, put me on an ice flow and push me out to sea?"

"That was an idea but your son has some weird misplaced affection for you and wants to keep you around."

"Oh?" He attempts to look at Anakin through the smoky haze but still cannot make him out.

Dances with Tauntauns picks up a rattle. He shakes it around Palpatine's body. Palpatine looks annoyed as the rattle comes within inches of his face.

"That rattle is really getting on my nerves."

Green Boga Feather holds up his hands.

"Silence white man with embroidered under shorts." He looks at the old Sith with amazement. "Why do you put 'D. P.'on your skivvies?"

"It's so people know they belong to me."

"You're a crazy white man." He lets out a hearty laugh.

"Are you making fun of me?"

"No…I cannot ridicule a man who cannot find his underwear."

At the end of the ceremony, Anakin, Nakai, and Palpatine exit the hut. Palpatine stands on his feet. He is disoriented and his balance is a little wobbly. It is late evening. The moon shines brightly in the night sky.

Someone standing outside the hut hands them each a towel. Another attendant returns the clothes Palpatine left outside. The second man laughs at Palpatine's silk ascot. Palpatine struggles to step into his trousers.

"Help me, Anakin. I feel weak."

"I'm not going to dress you. Snap out of it. Hold onto that tree."

Palpatine grabs the rest of his clothes from the attendant. He checks his pockets to make sure nothing is stolen. He looks back at the attendant with suspicion.

He follows Anakin and Nakai back along the path to the house. They arrive at the front door. Palpatine hears frenzied barking and growling. Ouisanne opens the door.

"Back so soon?"

Anakin smiles.

"Yep. We're done."

Palpatine tries to look inside the house. He sees a flash of fur sprint by followed by a shiny metallic object. Something tumbles off a table and there is a crash.

"What's going on in there?"

Anakin and Nakai grin as two unidentifiable objects sprint by in the opposite direction. Ouisanne smiles. She seems perfectly calm as she stands in the doorway.

"Oh, everything is fine…they're just playing." She notices the soot on Palpatine's face. She looks at him then points to her own face to hint to him.

"What?"

She shakes her head and wags a scolding finger at Nakai and Anakin.

"One moment."

Ouisanne returns to the door with a damp towel and hands it to the old man. He wipes his face then looks at the towel.

"Thank you." He gives Anakin a dirty look but is immediately distracted.

Palpatine sees wisps of fur flying in the foyer. Suddenly a mop of fur rushes pass Ouisanne's feet and leaps into Palpatine's arms.

"Oh, what happened to you in there? You poor creature….hey, what did you do to him?"

Anakin looks at the dog. There is a blue ribbon tied onto a tuft of fur on the top of the dogs' head. Nakai and Anakin look at Ouisanne. She explains.

"I thought it would look nice. Anakin, sweetheart, are you coming in?"

"No, Mom, I can't stay…I've got to get the old man and the mutt home."

Palpatine takes offense.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Excuse me. I have to take 'Old Wailing Wampa' and the mutt home. Thanks. Nakai, it's been a great evening. Mom, see you soon. " He hugs his father-in-law and kisses Ouisanne.

Anakin walks to the speeder and opens the passenger side door for Palpatine. He walks around to the driver's side gets inside. He smiles.

"So, how was your day?"

"You were going to let me walk around looking like a fool tonight weren't you? My face powered with soot. How will I explain that to the tabloids?"

"Sorry…it slipped my mind."

"No it didn't….you think it's funny."

The dog squirms in his lap until it the speeder starts. He looks at Anakin. It has an overbite that Anakin finds disturbing and amusing at the same time. There is a foil pack on the dashboard. Palpatine takes it and eats the dried smoked meat. He feeds a few to the dog.

"Anakin, you could have at least offered me some of this." He continues chewing.

"I was going to give it to you when you got out of the speeder."

"Oh….well that was thoughtful. So, what did you give that quack back at the hut?"

"Oh, just some credits and a time of food from the Holy Original Trilogy Church. He asked for it specially. He has a thing for Sister Chiffon." He turns to look at the old Sith snacking on the morsels from the foil pouch. "You're not eating those are you?"

"Yes, I'm staring. Why?"

"Those are for the dog." He reaches into the back seat ant hands Palpatine a thermal bag of dried meat. "This is for you. I'm stuffed."

Palpatine looks annoyed as he takes the bag.

"You should be stuffed; you've been feeding your face all day."

"Don't judge me. I have been fasting since last night."

Palpatine soon arrives home. Anakin waves goodnight.

"Thank you, Anakin."

"You're welcome, Dad; goodnight. Oh, you should walk that dog before you turn in for the night."

"What do you mean 'walk' him?"

"What goes in must come out."

"Oh... I knew that…uhm… okay… come on, Mauli."

Anakin rolls his eyes and drives off. "He couldn't think of a better name for that walking dust mop?"

He arrives home. Isabel is standing at the top of the stairs. He climbs the stairs and greets her with a kiss. She is glad to see him.

"Welcome home, stranger. Did you have a good day?"

"Yes…it was interesting. I missed you."

"I missed you. You smell like smoke."

"I guess I need to take a shower huh?"

"Please."

"See you in a few minutes."

_**'Exorcise Me!' **_

A few days later two Jedi priests arrive at Palpatine's home. The windows are sealed shut. Palpatine sits in his bedroom reading when the priest bursts through the door. Palpatine looks up.

"Oh, is this another intervention? You Jedi's don't believe in knocking do you?"

"It's best not to announce a visit to the demon. Your assistant let us in downstairs."

"That moron Elan. He slips up a lot. Well…it is a lovely day for an exorcism. I thought you guys gave up on me."

"I'm Father Merrin, and this is Father Karras. We're doing this as a favor to people who apparently care about your salvation."

He tosses his book on the table next to the chair.

"Fine. Let's get this over with then."

The priest sprinkles Palpatine with holy water.

"Deliver this man from the clutches of evil! I cast you out unclean spirit! Be gone!"

"Aren't you going to tie me to the bed or something, Father?"

"You watch too much TV in that retirement home, Mr. Palpatine. Stop talking. You're giving the devil what it wants."

"_Hostes alienigeni me abduxerunt. Qui annus est? _"

"Quiet, demon!_"_

"_Vah! Denuone Latine loquebar"_

"Quiet you maker of misery._ Sithus hodie adsit, cras absit._ "

"What?"

"Sith today, gone tomorrow."

"Oh, sorry…continue, Father."

"The Power of the Jedi Compels you. I cast you out unclean spirit." The priest stops. "Feeling any different yet?"

"Can we break for lunch? I'm starving."

"No! That is the demon talking."

"No, no…I believe it's my stomach. Your timing is dreadfully poor. I was about to have my lunch and rehearse my lines for a new play I'm doing."

"What were you planning to eat?"

"Pea soup with a sprig of mint and a roast duck and brie on a baguette."

"Not a good idea. This ritual would have caused you to hurl. We recommend waiting a full hour after every exorcism before eating."

"Oh…good to know. Thank you. You may continue."

"Be gone! In the Name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Cast out this demon!" The priest splatters Palpatine with more holy water. Palpatine flails his arms and tries to shield his face. He collapses onto the floor. A Force tosses Father Merrin across the opposite side of the room. His glasses fall at his side. He puts them back on and finds Palpatine in the corner near the night table. He is dazed. Father Merrin crawls over to him. Palpatine focuses and looks up at Father Merrin.

"Auntie Em?"

Father Merrin barks back at him.

"No! You senile old fool! Get up! Where is Father Karras?"

Father Karras rushes back into the room.

"I'm here, Father."

"What happened?"

"That numbskull assistant of his opened the windows."

Elan walks into the room carrying the dog.

"Hey, sorry, guys. I forgot you were up here working. I had to let _'Mr. Mauli'_ out for a tinkle break. He had a little accident so I opened a few windows."

"Oh, so that's what that smell was. We are done here."

'What about Mr. 'P'?"

"Give him two aspirin. He'll be fine."

"The following Sunday and every Sunday thereafter Palpatine spends the late mornings in the parish of the Jedi cathedral taking Sunday school with a class of 5 to 7 year olds. Ana-Lena sits proudly and waves at the back of the class to her grandfather. The nun asks her to come to the front of the class. She leaves her seat and carries something to the front of the class for 'show and tell.'

"This is Mr. Mauli. He belongs to my grandfather. Some nice holy men thought my Palps would give him a nice home. I taught him how to do tricks. He can sit and he can say his prayers. I taught him that. He's a very important dog to the Sullustan Monks…"

Palpatine smiles with pride as his granddaughter tells a fable about helping others in need. Three Spirits sit in the stained glass window to listen in.

'_I guess he's going to be a respected member of the wedding after all.'_

A fourth spirit arrives.

'_What did I miss?'_

'_Just keep quiet and listen.'_


	153. Chapter 153 A Vader Son Talk

_Chapter 153_

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Bunny Harrington and the CrawlShaak Redemption'_

'_Scared Sith'_

'_Vader-Son Talk' _

'_All So Quiet…All So Still'_

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

'_Clean Your Room!'_

Weeks and months pass. Many changes take shape in the Skywalker household. Anakin has his own anything day, which has him napping in his den; while the children's 'anything days' seem to be few and far between. Isabel thinks this new den may not have been such a great idea after all. Anakin sees things differently.

The den is better than his study. He usually has to pretend to look busy when he is in the study. Luke and Leia jokingly refer to it as his new _'meditation chamber.'_ Their younger siblings enjoy sneaking into the room to observe him sleeping on the leather sofa. Alex stands over him eating jiri gummy berries as Li-An places a bar towel over Anakin's face. They watch him snore and they giggle when the cloth floats above his face. Kris sucks on his pacifier and stands close to Anakin's head as his brothers amuse themselves. Alex leans over carefully to look at his father. The aroma of the sweet candy wafts over his father's face.

"Is he really asleep?"

"Maybe…it's difficult to tell."

"He does look funny."

"I bet you don't have the nerve to lean all the way over."

"I'm not afraid. It's okay."

Artoo enters the den and chirps a warning to the boys. Li-An dismisses the droid's concerns.

"Relax, Artoo, you worry too much." He nudges Alex. "Lean in closer, Alex, I dare you."

"No. You just want me to fall on him and wake him up. He'll get mad."

"Ah-ha! You're scared."

"No I'm not."

"Well I double-Dog-dare ya!"

"But…"

"I Triple-dog-dare ya!"

"Oooh, all-right."

He leans over his father. The bar cloth is still over Anakin's face and his breathing is uneven. Alex dares to press his face close to his father's face. Ana-Lena walks in with Kris, Skippy, and 'Mr. Maulie.'

'Mr. Maulie is wearing a huge satin ribbon on his collar and a barrette on the tuft of hair on his head. Palpatine is rehearsing for a new play. The stagehands refuse to dog-sit and Élan is away at the Annual Felucia Flower Pollinating Show at the Coruscant Galaxies Convention Centre.

Ana-Lena stands near the sofa beside Li-An.

"Whatcha doing, Alex?"

Li-An shushes her.

"Shhh!"

She whispers.

"What are you doing, Alex?"

Li-An puts his finger to his lips then waves his hand at her.

"Quiet."

Alex is resting his head against his father's face. He giggles quietly.

"This is nothin'! He's almost comatose!"

Suddenly he is dangling over his father's body. The other kids scramble and leave the room. Anakin is awake and looks up at Alex.

"Aha! I caught you! You won't get away this time."

Alex's desperate call for help goes unanswered.

"Ahhhhh! Come back, guys! Come back" Alex is in Anakin's grip. His feet are flailing and his jiri berry gummies fall out of his overall pockets. Anakin rises from the sofa, carries his young son out of the den, and heads for the playroom.

"You kids won't get far. That playroom had better be spic and span when I see it. Alex, where are your siblings?"

"I'll never tell you!"

"We'll see about that."

He continues to carry the child by the back of his denim overalls. He heads to the playroom. Skippy and 'Mr. Maulie' run for cover. Threepio meets his master halfway as if to stall the Dark Lord.

"Master, the other children are nowhere to be found and there is no activity on the family computer."

Anakin turns to Threepio after receiving the unsolicited information. There is a puzzled look on his face.

"Wha…? Get out of here!"

"Yes, Master."

Anakin playfully dangles Alex like a spider droid on a string. He speaks in a mock-threatening tone.

"Where are the others?"

Alex looks up at his father.

"Honest, Dad, I don't know. We're on a diplomatic mission. I'm here with you."

"Diplomatic mission, eh? I'm going to tear this place apart. I know they're somewhere in this room."

"Why do you want to make more work for us? You just said it's a mess."

He looks at the child before letting him down on the floor. Anakin makes his way through the door of the sun-filled playroom. Toys are scattered about. He moves forward and steps on a Tauntaun squeak toy and then almost stumbles over a toddler big wheel swoop bike. He scans the room carefully then continues plowing through the many toys and games littered across the floor.

Anakin focuses on a large white armoire across the room. He makes determined steps towards the closet kicking toys in his path. He yanks open the door. Li-An, Ana-Lena and Kris are discovered. The children stand frozen in place as their father looks at them. "Okay, felons…come on out!"

Anakin waits as Li-An steps out first, followed by his little sister and baby brother.

"Li-An, I expected as much from you but as the oldest, I thought you would lead by example."

"Well, I kinda did, which means my leadership abilities are quite impressive."

"Yeah, as ring leader for trouble."

Li-An sees Alex peeking from behind their father. He squints at his younger brother.

"Hello, snitch."

"You left me…traitor."

Anakin looks at them.

"Enough! Clean this room. It looks like the inside of a Jawa sand crawler in here. Ana-Lena, I'm disappointed in you."

"Me? What did I do?"

"You abandoned your brother…and Kris, I thought we knew each other."

The toddler looks up at Anakin and removes the pacifier from his mouth. He reaches for his father.

"Pick me."

"No. Go sit down and re-think your life. You were my only hope…now look at you. Did you just do something in that diaper?"

He looks at all four children.

"This room is a disaster area. Clean this mess! When I come back I want to see this place spotless or you'll all be punished."

Li-An and Alex start picking up toys. Alex whispers to his brother.

"I told you it wasn't a good idea to wake him."

Ana-Lena points at items strewn across the floor.

"That's not mine…that's not mine…this is not mine. This belongs to Kris…"

Anakin turns as he is about to walk out the door with Kris.

"Ana-Le, help your brothers. I want to see teamwork."

"But, Daddy, I don't work well as a team. I'm not sports oriented."

"Do your best, sweet-pea junior."

A two hours later, the Dark Lord returns for a room inspection. He is satisfied. Anakin reads to them and later they go into the kitchen to make ice cream sundaes.

"Don't tell your mother we had ice cream for lunch okay? She can be a little unreasonable at times. When she returns from shopping tell her you had your protein and calcium intake for the day."

"What about vegetables, Dad? She'll ask. You know how thorough she can be."

"Corellian Maraschino cherries. That's your veggie."

"But it's a fruit and it came out of a jar."

"It came out of the ground first. Don't split hairs, Alex."

"Okay, but she can sure detect a lie for someone with no Force powers…she's Mom."

"You kids don't know how to handle your mother. Leave her to me."

Li-An chuckles.

"Oh, right, Dad. Mom doesn't control your destiny. You handled her just right."

"Don't be a wise guy. I was not expecting to baby-sit you scurriers today. I was taking a peaceful nap before you kids disturbed me."

"Face it, Dad. You really like us."

"I guess you're alright."

He is glad he didn't waste the rest of the afternoon napping in his den. He sits at the kitchen table and listens attentively as each of the younglings share their latest experiences and accomplishments. Napping in the den is way over-rated.

'_An Unholy Baptism & A Barely Godfather'_

After spending the first three and a half months in Sunday school with Ana-Lena, Palpatine receives surprising news. The church agrees to baptize him…after a sizable donation and promise of future monitoring. He has an unlikely sponsor. The service is held in the chapel, in early spring just weeks before the wedding. Ana-Lena dresses 'Mr. Maulie' for the occasion. She has given the dog a new name. 'Mr. Mopsy'. Palpatine watches as the longhaired canine suffers the indignity of being dressed in ridiculous costumes, creations by Ana-Lena using her toy sewing machine. The private ceremony goes a little like this:

"Do you renounce the Dark Side? Do you renounce the Sith and all that is evil?"

"Uh…"

"There is no _'uh'_ Mr. Palpatine. A simple _'Yes'_ or _'No'_ will suffice. I suggest you choose carefully or this service will end dreadfully for you for wasting the churches time."

Palpatine glances over at his grandchildren. To Ana-Lena, he almost looks angelic in the white floor length silk baptismal robe over his satin smoking jacket and black and white striped silk ascot.

"I renounce the Sith and All that is evil."

"Who sponsors this pathetic soul for salvation?"

There is a long pause. It was not easy finding a sponsor for the old man. After a few moments pass. Palpatine's 'Godfather-to-be' steps forward.

"Meesa honorable godfather for recalcitrant former Emperor."

Palpatine whispers to the priest as he points to the tall Gungan.

"Excuse me, but is this the best you could do?"

"Silence. You should be grateful this is happening at all. I thought you would be grateful to have a fellow citizen of Naboo as your sponsor."

Jar-Jar gives Palpatine a scornful look then sticks out his tongue.

"Meesa soon beesa boss of you from now on."

"Oh shush you…" He forgets for a moment where he is. He quickly remembers why he is standing before the priest and stops himself. "Oh…sorry, Father."

Jar-Jar giggles.

"Yousa never gonna make it through theesa service. Yousa still talkin'."

The priest is patiently waiting for both of them to be quiet before he continues.

"Ahem…Do you pledge to guide and protect this pitiful man if he is left fatherless?"

"Meesa no tink thatsa issue."

The priest clears his throat. "Ahem…yes, you are right…okay…." He murmurs to himself, skipping non-applicable portions of the service. He moves his index finger along the page of the Jedi sacraments. He continues. "…Ah…yes…here we are…Do you promise to shield him from the wickedness of the galaxy?"

"Yes…Meesa promise. Meesa slap the Sith outta him if he fall off wagon."

The priest considers the Gungan's proposed tactic before continuing. He applies a thick greasy substance to Palpatine's forehead and nostrils.

"So you may breathe in the purity of goodness."

Palpatine blinks as the odiferous substance makes his eyes water.

"What is this stuff?"

"Eucalyptus salve"

"That isn't holy oil."

"Your lack of faith is disturbing. We can end this at anytime."

"Fine."

The priest turns to Jar-Jar.

"Do you renounce the Sith?"

"Yep! Meesa renounce all scary demons, even theesa one."

"And all his works?"

"Whatsa works do that be?"

"All that is evil under the Sith."

"Oh! Sure! Meesa tink all Sith should be thrown over the side of eternal void."

The priest sighs out of exasperation. He had the misfortune of pulling the short straw among the young, newly ordained Jedi priests to see who would perform the ceremony. This must be the final test. The priest continues.

"Mr. Palpatine, do you wish to be baptized?"

"Oh, I do, I do!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! You won't be sorry."

"I already am. Very well…take this candle."

Palpatine takes the candle. Ana-Lena stands beside her grandfather holding the candle intended for her father. Anakin stands behind his daughter. She wears her favorite pink dress for the occasion. The priest manages to smile when he sees her. He clears his voice and continues this solemn service. It is obvious that his heart is not in it. He sprinkles the holy water in Palpatine's face then uses the incense ball. Four attendants gather round and dip Palpatine, face down in the font. He starts coughing and gagging. Alex calls out to his grandfather in a whisper but everyone hears him.

"Palps! Hold your breath like you're swimming."

Anakin turns and puts his finger to his lips.

The priest speaks again.

"I name you Dantius Ulysses Murgatroyd Palpatine…"

Han looks at Leia and mouths the name _'Murgatroyd?'_ "

Leia smiles then stares at the pink and white granite floor to avoid making eye contact with her husband.

Luke contemplates the initials. He sneaks a glance at his sister and giggles.

At the end of the service, holocams flash. Everyone is all smiles. A few paparazzi wait outside to get a glimpse of the freshly baptized former emperor. A few protestors wait across the street behind a police barricade holding signs. _'God Help Us! The End Is Near! Exorcist 1:3'_ and 'Kill the Reaper! Naboo Oyster Cult _3:6'_

Anakin treats everyone to brunch at a nearby restaurant. Mara giggles as she sits at the table. She raises her glass in a toast.

"Cheers to you, Dumpy."

Palpatine looks at her with a faint smile.

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Oh…nothing."

Ana-Lena sits beside him.

"I'm proud of you, Grand Palps."

"Thank you, my little angel. You're one of the few people to stand by me. I'll never forget that."

Anakin raises his glass to another mission accomplished. Now he can move on.

A few weeks after this dubious event, Anakin pays a visit to the freshly baptized former emperor to see how he is doing. Rumors have been swirling that the old man has be using his newfound 'faith' to his advantage. His faith has become disturbing to others around him. He has also been holding a prayer vigil before performances. The unwitting and unwilling cast and crew jump hurdles to avoid him.

Old man Palpatine and 'Mr. Maulie' greet Anakin at the door. The barking 'floor sweeper' stands at Palpatine's feet. Anakin takes a step back. The old man smiles.

"Anakin! Come in! Come in! It's so good to see you my son. Look, 'Mr. Maulie' is so glad to see you."

"Oh, yeah…I can tell from the maniacal barking."

Anakin steps inside and closes the door as the old man walks ahead towards the kitchen. Palpatine scolds the dog.

"Shhh! 'Mr. Maulie' what's gotten into you? Be nice to your big brother. Oh, Anakin, come in and have a seat while I go into the kitchen. I was just warming up some soup. How are you?"

"I'm fine, Dad." He is distracted by 'Mr. Maulie' tugging at his pants leg and barking at him. He is alone in the foyer with the dog. "Quiet, you little rag."

Palpatine calls from the kitchen.

"What did you say, Anakin?"

"Nothing." He looks to his right before entering the living room and sees a solar-powered waterfall on an Endor mahogany base. The dog continues barking at him. He gently nudges it aside with his foot. "Beat it." The dog is relentless. Anakin scoops up a handful of water and flicks it at the dog. He misses and most of the water winds up on the floor. Anakin quickly grabs the dog and mops up the puddle with it. "Mr. Maulie' shakes himself then heads towards the kitchen.

Palpatine continues his conversation from the kitchen.

"So, how is our young Luke holding up for the big day?"

"Fine, I think. He's avoiding us. I've only spoken to him a few times in the past week. He doesn't want us making a fuss."

"He's such a humble young man. You've taught him well. Would you like some soup?"

"No thanks. I'm full. I had a big lunch earlier. What's with the waterfall?"

"Oh! You like it? I wasn't that crazy about it at first. I got it in a raffle at the Shady Acres Community Center. This old cow was eyeing it so I used a little of my charm to persuade her to give it to me."

"Excuse me but don't you '_win'_ a raffle?"

"Technically, yes, but I couldn't allow the old wench have the satisfaction. She didn't deserve to win. Do you know what she did?"

"What?"

"She tried to kidnap Mr. Maulie if I didn't restrain him. I was tempted to beat her within an inch of her life but I remembered my Sunday school training with sweet Ana-Lena. We had a lesson in taking the high road when facing aggression. You would be proud of me, Anakin. I was the consummate gentleman."

"Good for you, Dad."

"She'll never mess with me or my little dog again. We showed her" He stops what he is doing and picks up the dog. "Isn't that right, Mr. Maulie?" He cuddles the canine rag mop. "Mr. Maulie, how did you get all wet? Have you been in the geraniums again?" The old man leaves the kitchen area to continue chatting with Anakin. He is holding a wooden spoon. Anakin quickly steps away from the waterfall. He does not want to know what the old man did to deter the woman. He quickly changes the topic.

"Sooo…how about that dinner party?" He alludes to a pre wedding party hosted by the Jade family.

"Oh, yes! That was absolutely lovely but I can't believe they wouldn't allow Mr. Maulie inside."

"Maybe it's because the restaurant wants to keep their license to sell food to the paying public."

"Well, it's a silly rule." He kisses the dog. Anakin cringes as the creature kisses the old man back. Palpatine's eyes light up as he looks at his son. "Hey! That Lando is a snazzy dancer. Those people are amazing on the dance floor."

"What _'people'_ would that be?"

"You know…_ 'those people'_, Bo_ Jango_ Fett or whatever his name is, and the Twi'lek's too. Who invited them?"

"You're making generalizations about people."

"No I'm not."

"And you didn't have to insult the Jade's."

"All I asked Mr. Jade was if he ever witnessed a mob hit."

"It was totally inappropriate."

"Well, he didn't say 'no'."

"That's because Nakai pulled him away in time. What you said was offensive."

"Fine. Everyone's so sensitive these days. Things were a lot different back in my day…when I was Emperor…"

"No joke?"

"All I'm saying is that it was easier to say things to people without having to apologize for it. I was being honest. I was being myself."

"Well stop doing that. You've just about insulted every group in the galaxy."

"Oh, Anakin, can't we talk about something else? I thought you came to discuss the wedding."

"Ah, yes…I want you on your best behavior, if that's at all possible."

"I know how to handle myself at social events…within reason…"

"And you will behave. That means…"

Anakin ticks off the conditions with his fingers. Palpatine interrupts and rolls his eyes. He waves the spoon as he dismisses Anakin's lecture.

"Oh, no. Here come the conditions."

"I'm serious. It means…no passing around your half-priced theatre vouchers…"

"How come? Everyone loves the theatre."

"The vouchers aren't half-priced. I read the fine print. And stop passing out those prayer cards."

"Prayer cards?"

"You know what I'm talking about. Those _'Have You Been Saved?' _cards _'Save 10 to 15 percent on theatre tickets.' _It's disrespectful and opportunistic."

"It's a _'two-fer'. _The producers thought it was a novel idea to tie-in my baptism to the promotion of my new play."

"You're going to be 'tied-in' if I see one card passed around at that wedding."

"You're no fun."

"Tough. I've got to go."

"You're not going to stay and have a bowl of soup with me and Mr. Maulie?"

"No." Anakin makes disgusted face as he watches the dog lapping up the residue on the spoon. He heads for the door. "By the way, _'Mr.'_ Maulie is a _bitch_."

"That was uncalled for, Anakin."

"It's true. Try turning that barking rag mop over occasionally. See you at the wedding."

Anakin leaves closing the door behind him.

Spring arrives with aplomb. Flowers blossom as never before. This makes things easy for Mara who has her heart set on her green and violet color scheme. Her bridesmaids' dresses are ready. They are spring green Sullust silk with lilac silk chiffon sashes and matching green silk shoes. She has to admit that Roulf was right about the color scheme.

Leia tries on her dress at the bridal salon along with Rocca, Callista, and Sena. The salon manager makes suggestions to the seamstress who is making some final adjustments.

Ana-Lena is once again a flower girl. Her lilac silk chiffon dress with green satin sash is adorable but no one dares to say so. She wants to feel grown up like Leia and the other girls in the wedding party. The typical child's white dress was passé as far as she was concerned.

Leia meanwhile is posing in the mirror and piling her hair on top of her head. She is still debating how she wants to wear her hair. The seamstress is trying to keep up with her to pin the hem on her dress.

"So, what's the verdict, ladies? Should I wear my hair up or down?"

Sena turns to her as she looks at herself in the mirror.

"I'm wearing my hair up. We're wearing flowers in our hair don't forget. The stylist is coming so you can figure it out then."

"I was thinking of an up do…how's Mara wearing her hair?"

"She's not telling anyone."

"Why not?"

"It is, after all her wedding, Leia."

"She doesn't have to be so secretive. No one else is going to have big hair at this wedding."

"What makes you think she's going to have big hair?"

"Oh come on, have you seen her mother and aunts? It's like a right of passage in that family."

"Leia, be nice…"

"I am being nice."

Rocca remembers something.

"Leia, as I recall, you had your big hair days."

"Point taken."

'_Arrested Development'_

Meanwhile, the groom-to-be is trying desperately to stay under the radar. His imaginary 'cloaking device' has been successful in keeping him out of range from Han, Kyle, and the rest of his friends who are in a uphill battle to throw him a bachelor party. Aunt Bunny arranges to have some of her old coworkers from the Bunny Hutt provide the entertainment. She advertises as a part-time event coordinator for gentlemen's parties and make-up artist. Bunny buys advertising space in the Coruscant Metro Station and she has started selling her products on the plasma on the Galaxies Home Shopping Network.

Isabel's brothers are invited to the bachelor party. Stephan has been promoted to captain. He declines the invitation because he has sent some of his detectives on a sting operation and cannot make it. Philippe joins the gang for the festivities. Obi-Wan is put in charge of getting Luke to the party. He enlists the help of Lando. Anakin is not sure he wants to take part but when he hears that Professor Solo will be there he immediately accepts.

The hotel room is reserved for the party. Anakin and Nakai arrive together. Han, his father, Chewie, Valin and all of Luke's other friends are already there. Elan arrives much to everyone's surprise. Kyle and Kyp find him loitering outside the Outlander II Club. The bouncer ignores him at the velvet rope. Han puts down his drink and whispers to Valin.

"Whose idea was it to bring the gnat?"

"Kyle and Kyp called and said they found him hanging outside the Outlander Club. They felt sort of sorry for the little guy."

"Oh, great. He should be loads of fun. Right, Chewie?"

Chewbacca growls. Han pops an appetizer in his mouth then sees Anakin. Oh, Leia's old man is here. I'll be back, Chewie. Let me say hello."

Han makes his way over to Anakin who is standing at the entrance.

"Hey, Mr. 'S', how're you doin'? Surprised to see you here."

"I'm fine, Han. Does my daughter know you're here tonight?"

"Of course she does…I am, after all the best man. The question is how did you get out of the house tonight?"

"Don't you worry about me. I'm here on official business to make sure you and your buddies don't get my son in trouble."

"Touché. I can respect that. So, where is the star of the evening?"

"Aren't you spearheading this shindig?"

"Lando and Obi-Wan are bringing him over."

Nakai walks over after grabbing a bottle of ale.

"So, what's on the agenda this evening? It's pretty quiet so far."

"I hear the entertainment is on its way."

Kyp looks at his watch.

"It had better be or this party is a bust."

The men mill about in the hotel suite of the Imperial Hotel. They are drinking and getting bored. Valin pours a drink.

"Hey, we're running out of ice."

Philippe walks over and grabs the bucket.

"I'll go down the hall and get some."

Han looks towards the door after Philippe is gone.

"Isn't every suite equipped with an icemaker?"

A few minutes pass when someone knocks on the door. Two women enter. One is a blonde-haired woman and the other a redhead. They are dressed in frumpy maids' uniforms and wear over sized legwarmers that cover their shoes. Elan opens the door. One of the maids speaks.

"We're here for Mr. Skywalker. He requested turndown service."

"Oh, yeah, he's over there." Elan points in the general direction behind him without taking much notice in the women. "He's in the corner."

Nakai sees the women heading in his direction. One of the women is carrying a feather duster and bucket.

"Mr. Skywalker?"

Anakin stops drinking and looks up from the corner sofa.

"Yes?"

"We got a call from the concierge desk that you were in dire need of room service."

"Oh really? I didn't call anybody. The room looks alright to me."

"Well, we're here to provide exceptional service. This is Amber and I'm Dusty, and we don't want you leaving here disappointed."

"Oh?"

"Oh yes! But it's so hot in here. These uniforms are so constricting. Let me get a bit more comfortable so I can dust your lamp."

"Wha…?"

Suddenly the two maids rip off their maids' uniforms to reveal more skimpy attire. They shake loose the matronly hair buns. Amber and Dusty begin a seductive shimmy in front of the Dark Lord. Dusty is about to give him a lap dance. Professor Solo and the other men in the room crowd around Anakin's chair to watch. Anakin drops his drink. Han almost chokes on an Eopie sausage rollup with the toothpick inside. Biggs Darklighter laughs and whips out his camera phone. Nakai notices the obvious mistake; but he is enjoying the moment too much to say anything right away.

The horror on Anakin's face is priceless. He rears up in the chair causing the stripper to fall backwards onto the carpeted floor. Amber stumbles. Anakin jumps away.

"Whoa! Hey! Hey! Watch it! What are you doing?"

Amber gets up and regains her balance on her glass platform shoes.

"Aren't you Luke Skywalker the groom?"

"No! I'm Anakin Skywalker the father!"

"Oh. Well, you're cute too! Father of the groom deserves a free lap dance!" She tries to flirt with him.

"Calm down, missy."

Professor Solo helps Dusty off the floor and kisses her hand. He notices the gold chain around her neck with the letters DG.

"Dusty, you remind me of someone I once knew."

"I'm Dusty Galore. You know my mother?"

"Small world."

"This is so cool!"

"Step over here in my office."

Han stares with disbelief as his father sits at the bar with the young woman.

"Dad?"

Amber looks around.

"So, where's the groom?"

Kyp calls out from the back of the group.

"He's not here…yet."

"Doesn't anyone want a lap dance? It's free. We're paid for the night."

Just about everyone raises his hand. Nakai starts to raise his hand then just as quickly lowers it. Amber zeros in on someone. She slinks over to the velour armchair near the piano.

"Hey, you're kinda quiet. I like that…"

"You do?"

"Uh-hum…These are cute…what are they?"

"Ant…ten…antennae…I never let anyone touch them…they're fragile you-you …know…"

"What's your name?"

"Uh…uhmm…Ela…"

"Ela?"

"Elan. Yes…that's it. That's my name."

"Oh, you are the cutest little thing! So nervous. You need to relax and have fun."

The other men look incredulously at one another as Amber gives Elan a lap dance. Kyp, Kyle, and Valin howls with laughter as Elan's foot stats tapping feverously on the floor. His antennae are bent and his face is covered with red lipstick.

Meanwhile, Lando and Obi-Wan are having a tough time getting the star of the evening to the party.

They manage to leave the Jedi Temple with Luke but quickly fall behind schedule when Luke sees an old woman trying to hail a taxi to the Galaxies Opera House. Luke offers her a ride. Obi-Wan stands outside of the speeder with Lando while the woman waits inside the vehicle.

"Luke, we do have someplace else to go this evening."

"Where?"

"The Imperial Hotel. We must hurry if we are to arrive on time."

Luke laughs.

"The Imperial Hotel? I'm not going to the Imperial Hotel. I'm going home. It's getting late and I have a lot of stuff to do."

"Luke, help us out here. Lando and I have been put in charge of delivering you safely to the party."

"I can't get involved. I promised Mara I wouldn't have a bachelor party. We agreed to have low-keyed events."

"That's your father talking."

"My father…how would I ever explain this to him?"

Lando pats Luke on the back.

"I'm sure he'll understand. Come on, Luke ol' buddy. Enjoy yourself for one night."

"Listen, guys, I really appreciate the thought but…"

"Luke, just join the gang for a drink. They're all waiting for you."

"Fine. I'll stay long enough for a drink and a chat but that's it."

"Alright ol' buddy, let's drop off this fine looking old lady to the opera house and then it's the hotel."

The three men get into the speeder and drive off across town. The elderly woman is overwhelmed.

"You young men are so nice."

Luke smiles when she includes Obi-Wan as one of the 'young men.'

Back at the hotel, music is playing and the party is in full swing. Han, Chewie, Biggs, and Valin are playing Sabacc, music is playing, and Professor Solo is chatting up Dusty Galore. Anakin sits with Nakai chatting

"This party isn't so bad. I'm ready to go home soon and sleep until late morning. What the hell?"

He shifts his weight in the chair. He reaches under the cushion and pulls out one of the maid uniforms worn by the strippers. He calls Amber over.

"Young lady, come get your uniform." He hands over the uniform and offers the girls money. "Here, you don't need to stay. I doubt that my son is coming. Here's something for each of you. Go home to your family and rethink your lives."

Amber and Dusty walk over.

"Oh, you're such a nice man. I could kiss you." The girls kiss him on the cheek.

Suddenly the doors burst open and officers from the vice squad raid the place. They are brandishing blasters.

"This is the COPD. Everyone, hands up! You're all under arrest."

Kyp laughs thinking it is a joke.

"We didn't hire male strippers."

Valin whispers.

"Shhh!"

Han is about to reach for his blaster under the card table then lifts his hands above his head.

"What's going on?"

"Keep your hands were we can see them, sir. Don't make any sudden moves."

Han tries to explain.

"Under arrest? This is a party."

"Well then, this party is over."

The offices put binders on the partygoers and lead them out into the street. Luke, Lando, and Obi-Wan arrive at the hotel but only see a crowd.

"Looks like trouble afoot, Master Luke."

"I have a bad feeling about this."

Lando looks around.

"I wonder what happened."

"Hey, that looks like my dad!"

Obi-Wan watches as Anakin gets into the police wagon.

"Oh dear."

Lando squints not believing what is happening. No one is permitted beyond the barricade. Luke appears anxious as the men are being put into a paddy wagon.

"We've got to do something. We've got to save them."

"Calm down, Luke. We must proceed with caution."

Back inside the hotel, Philippe returns with the bucket of ice. The door to the suite is open.

"Hey guys, I got the ice. I had to go three floors down to get it….hey, where did everyone go?"

Back at the precinct, the men are being processed. Anakin shouts at one of the arresting officers. A chubby balding officer by the name of Vito Lorenzo finds himself in a verbal sparing match with the Dark Lord. Anakin is relentless.

"Do you have any idea who I am?"

Officer Lorenzo responds with indifference.

"Nope. Don't know, don't care."

"I'm the Chief of Staff for the Imperial Forces."

"Sure, pal, and I'm Jabba the Hutt."

"Yeah…You're just as fat too."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

A rookie officer walks over to the desk. He addresses the desk sergeant. A nosy Officer Lorenzo listens in as the rookie speaks.

"Half of the prisoners were armed, sir. From the arsenal of weaponry confiscated, it appears they were preparing for a serious heist, Blasters, lightsabers, pocket knives, one Wookie bowcaster, one heavy blaster pistol with modified trigger, this pen…"

The desk sergeant has heard enough from the chatty officer.

"Thanks, Officer O'Reilly."

Officer O'Reilly plays with the clicking mechanism on the pen then yells in pain. "Ow! What is this thing? It stuck me."

Professor Solo watches intensely as the overly curious rookie examines the pen.

Anakin rolls his eyes then keeps talking to the officers.

"You're making a mistake. You've got the wrong people. We were having a bachelor party."

The arresting officer walks over to the sergeant's desk and responds.

"Don't play innocent with me. If that was such an innocent party then why the serious hardware?"

"Was I talking to you? You're arresting the wrong people. I demand you remove these binders."

"No can do, pal. You're not going to overtake me with your sorcerer's ways. We've got a scanner in the wagon. We know who's a wizard and who's not."

He looks at the desk sergeant. "Get my brother-in-law on the phone. He's the Captain here. His name is Stephan Nor. His father is here with us."

"Hmm-hum…" He ignores Anakin and makes some notes. Without looking at Anakin, the sergeant points towards a door to the left. "Take him to booking."

Anakin is lead away.

"I know my rights. I set most of the laws in the Galactic Military."

"And we set the laws here. You're in my little corner of the galaxy now."

"You have no idea who you're messing with."

"Shut up or you'll be charged with insubordination. Move it, stretch."

An officer takes Anakin to booking. A petite, no-nonsense female officer scans his fingerprints then prepares to take his mug shot. She barks orders like a dictator.

"Turn to the right…."

Anakin does not take the woman seriously.

"This is really ridiculous."

"Quiet please. Turn to your left."

Anakin poses as the laser generated booking number appears in front of him.

"I'm an important man. Just you wait when you realize you've all made fools of yourselves."

"Hold still please."

"What's your badge number, young lady?"

"I don't talk to inmates, sir."

"I demand justice. I want to see my lawyer." He catches a glimpse of the female officer's badge. 'Thanks a lot, Edwina McDunough. I give to the COPD widows and children's fund."

"I'm not a widow and I'm not an orphan."

Anakin quips.

"Well, not with that attitude."

"Sir, please stop talking."

Anakin is escorted back to the desk. The sergeant walks over.

"You get one telephone call."

"How is that fair when you take our cell phones?"

Anakin starts dialing with his hands still in binders. Someone finally answers on the third ring.

"Hello?"

"Alex, put mommy on the phone."

"Mom! It's Daddy. He doesn't sound good."

Isabel walks over and takes the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, honey, how are you doing?"

"Where are you?"

"Uhm…you're going to laugh when I tell you what happened to us tonight."

Isabel is not in a _'laughing'_ mood when she hears this.

"I'm listening."

"Do you believe they only allow one phone call, and they don't permit cell phones?"

"What happened?"

"Well… uhm…we're in jail."

"Jail?" She remembers that the children are near so she turns away and whispers. "Jail? What are you doing in jail?"

"It's a long story but trust me, we're all innocent…this time….They don't believe I know your brother."

"Hold on." She sets the handset down then grabs her cell and starts dialing. Li-An uses this opportunity to take the phone.

"Dad! You're really in the big house? You sure messed up this time. Are we going to have to visit you in prison?"

Ana-Lena starts crying.

"Daddy's in prison…waaahh."

Isabel waits for an answer on her cell phone. She looks at her daughter.

"Ana-Le, calm down. Daddy's fine."

Alex shouts into the phone.

"Hey, Dad! Are you going to make license plates? I'll need one when I turn 16 and get my first speeder. I want a vanity plate. "

Ana-Lena is still crying. The baby looks at his sister and hands her his blanket.

"Blank."

Isabel holds out her free hand waiting for Li-An to give her the phone.

"Hand it over."

"Are you and Dad going to have _'__conjungle__'_ visits?"

His mother holds out her hand and speaks in a firm voice.

"Give me that phone!"

Alex looks at his brother.

"What's a_ 'conjumble'_ visit?"

Threepio chimes in to offer his usual bits of unsolicited information.

"Actually, children, the correct term is 'conju- ..."

Isabel points to the protocol droid to give him a stern warning.

"_Don't."_

Threepio is surprised. He has never heard her use such a cross tone with him in all the years he has known her.

She lifts the telephone to her ear and speaks to Anakin. "Anakin, I spoke to my brother. He's going to find out what happened. I can't get into it right now. Listen, I have to go. The children have to go to bed."

"Aren't you going to come and get me?"

"This isn't all about you, Anakin. I guest you expect me to drop everything and come out there at this time of night? Well…don't hold your breath."

Threepio waits until Isabel gets off the phone.

"Tsk, tsk…I knew this would happen. It's a good thing master Luke didn't get mixed up in the Master's criminal activity."

Artoo warns Threepio to keep quiet.

"Well certain things need to be said. I think the stress is getting to her. She's never been cross with me before….Oh yeah? When was that? I simply don't believe you, Artoo."

Back at the police precinct, everyone is processed in booking. They are reunited in one big cell. The officer in charge paces in front of the jail cell. He twirls a titanium nightstick. He keeps his hand on the trigger of his anti-Force tazer attached to his belt clip.

Chewie growls and tries to shake the bars. Han calms him.

"Easy, Chewie. We'll be outta here soon."

Kyp starts singing.

"Nobody knows the trouble I've seen…no-bo-dy knows but Jedi…."

The officer stops in front of the cell and bangs his nightstick against the bars.

"Quiet! No singing!"

Professor Solo turns to Anakin.

"Leave it to you, Skywalker, to get us into this jam."

"Don't blame me. I didn't invite strippers to the party."

Elan falls apart after only five minutes in custody.

"God! I don't belong here! I want to go home! I'm too small to go to prison. My antenna won't survive. I don't belong here!"

A drunken prisoner in the cell facing theirs yells back at Elan.

"Me neither! They run this place like an _'effing'_ prison!"

Elan wails like a little girl.

"I don't belong here! I want to go home! I want my mother!"

Another prisoner shouts back at Elan.

"I had your mother, she wasn't that great!"

Han, Kyle, Biggs, and Nakai are cracking up as they witness Elan's meltdown. Valin tries to make them stop.

"Come on, guys. He's really upset. Don't laugh." Valin finally breaks up. "Oh, Elan, I'm sorry, man."

Kyp calms down from his laughing spell.

"I can't believe they only let us make one phone call."

Valin leans against one of the bunks.

"Who did you call, Kyp?"

"I called Sena but she hung up on me when I asked her to transfer me to Rocca. Who did you call?"

"Who do you think I called? I called my wife. Anyone who's married here called his wife."

Valin sees the dumb look on Han's face. Kyle looks at Han too.

"Who did you call, Han?"

"I called somebody…Lando."

"Lando? Lando! Why didn't you call your wife, bro?"

"Well, I was calling on Chewie's behalf too. I wasn't going to call my wife. You guys are wimps. I'm married to Leia remember? I'll never hear the end of it."

Kyp, Valin, Kyle, and even Chewie shrug, and then nod in agreement at Han's explanation. Han sees Anakin give him a dirty look. Han laughs nervously then whispers to himself.

"Heh-heh…He's going to kill me when we get out of here."

Back at the sergeant's desk, Officer O'Reilly carefully examines his finger. Another officer walks up to him.

"What are you doing, O'Reilly?"

"I got stuck with that pen. I think I need an antiseptic."

"Your finger looks a little blue. You're looking a bit pasty too."

"I don't feel too good either."

"You're just over-reacting."

O'Reilly blinks then inexplicably leans to one side. He struggles to maintain his balance. He looks as if he is in a drunken stupor. The desk sergeant, Norman Buntz does not notice. He hands a document to the young rookie without looking up.

"O'Reilly, take this paperwork over to Shirley for filing."

As he waits for O'Reilly to take the papers, he hears a dull thud. The other officer looks down. The paperwork is strewn over the floor.

"Sarge, Radar fainted!"

"Take him to the nurse for god's sake."

Professor Solo has a direct view of the sergeant's desk from his cell. He watches as two officers help the rookie to his feet and take him to the infirmary.

"Morons.'

A short time later, the prisoners hear new voices in the holding area. It is Lando, Obi-Wan, and Luke. Everyone gathers at the front of the jail cell. Kyle shouts.

"Hey! It's Obi-Wan, Lando, and Luke! Finally!"

The men cheer. Kyp presses his face against the bars.

"You're here to get us out right?"

Obi-Wan raises his hands then speaks.

"I'm sorry; men. You will have to face the judge on your own. I cannot…"

The prisoners roll their eyes as they finish Obi-Wan's sentence.

"'_...cannot interfere'_…right."

Solo chimes in sarcastically.

"So why are you here? You're useless."

"We wanted to see for ourselves."

Biggs has a question for Luke.

"Hey, Luke, what happened to you? You never made it to the party."

"Well, if I had, I'd probably be where you are now."

Han looks at Lando and puts his arm through the bars. He points an accusing finger at Lando.

"I blame you!"

The officer on guard duty hits the bars of the jail cell with his nightstick. This sends a painful shock up Han's arm.

"Ow!" He looks at Lando. "Yes, I blame you."

"Me? But it's not my fault! It's not my fault! We got delayed!"

Luke is happy to have escaped the fate of his incarcerated friends. A sly smile creeps across his face.

Han sees him. He is incensed.

"Laugh it up, kid! You'll be crying the marriage blues like the rest of us"

Valin turns to Han.

"Don't speak for me. I'm happily married."

"Well, so am I." Han gets another dirty look from his father-in-law.

Anakin wags his finger at Luke.

"And I blame you."

"Awh, come on, Dad! Tomorrow you'll be laughing about this entire incident. We should have more father-son chats like this with you on the other side of the bars."

"Very funny."

Just as he says this, the strippers pass by the holding cell and wave to the guys. They see Luke. Biggs points to Luke as he speaks to the strippers.

"This is who you were supposed to dance for."

"Ooo, he's a cutie! Should we dance for him now?"

Luke steps away as the two women approach the young Jedi Master.

"No, thanks…I'm good."

Amber sees Elan sulking on the lower bunk. She blows him a kiss. He looks like a sad puppy.

"You'll wait for me won't you? I could be in here for years."

"I think you'll be out before you know it. I'm going leave Coruscant for a while. I don't mind if you see other women."

"I don't know other women."

Professor Solo holds his hand to his ear like a phone as her mouths to Dusty.

"_Call me."_

Han sees this.

"Dad!"

Amber looks for Anakin at the other end of the jail cell.

"I'm going to take your advice and visit my parents this weekend. Thanks for the talk." She gives him a peck on the cheek before leaving. Just as she walks away, Anakin sees the most blessed vision. His eyes light up.

"Hey, Isabel, honey! You came. And you brought the children."

The officer on guard duty raps the nightstick on the cell.

"Keep your hands inside the cage!"

"Ow! Was that necessary?"

Isabel speaks to the children.

"Children, look carefully at this sorry group of men. This is what happens when you're disobedient."

Li-An and Alex are fascinated with the place.

"Look! Everybody's in prison! Hi, Han!

"Hey, sport."

"How's it going on the Dark Side?"

"Just dandy, kid."

"Look! It's Grandpop!" The boys wave as if they are on a holiday parade float. Nakai hops off of his bunk and walks up to the bars.

"Hey, How are you guys?"

"We're fine."

Li-An has many questions.

"Have you split up into gangs yet or given yourselves cool prison names?"

"No…this is a 'no frills' prison."

Li-An is a bit disappointed.

"Oh, so this is isn't the real 'big house, eh?"

"Afraid not. Where are you learning this stuff?"

"We heard some fat man talking at Mara and Luke's party. He knew a lot about prison."

"I'm sure he does."

Li-An greets the rest of the guys before stopping in front of his father at the far end. A devilish smile forms across his face as he sizes up the place.

"Sooo…who's the felon now, Dad?"

"Hey! You just wait until I get out of this place."

"Heheheh! Awww, man! This is way cool! Now I can tell the other kids that my Dad is in the joint. They're going to be so jealous. Hey, are you planning a riot or anything like that?"

Anakin is about to scold Li-An but considers the idea. He quietly smiles at his young son and makes a joke.

"It's still too early." He winks.

The boys hear a man yelling in the jail cell across the way. They look in the general direction.

"Who's that?"

One of the officers tips this head in the general direction of the man's cell.

"Just one of our regulars." He calls to the man. "Quiet down there, Ernest T."

The voice from the jail cell answers back.

"Officer, you didn't tell us it was _'Bring Your Kid to Jail'_ day."

Officer Esterhaus looks at the children.

"Ignore him, boys."

"Ignore him? Heck! We wanna see!" Alex and Li-An race to the jail cell to get a good look. The prisoner sees the young boys and steps close to the cell door. He is disheveled and has obviously been drinking. He glares at the children wildly then lets out a menacing growl.

"Arrgggh!"

Alex and Li-An are stunned for a moment then start to giggle.

"Cool!"

"Yeah! Way cool!"

Isabel yells at them.

"Alex and Li-An, get back here now!"

"Awww, Mom!"

Officer Esterhaus ushers them away from the jail cell. The prisoner calls back.

"Hey, officer, why don't you let me get a good look at the lady. She sounds hot."

Alex answers the man.

"Our Dad thinks so too!"

Officer Esterhaus almost laughs as he makes the boys move along.

"Move it along…let's go. Our prisoners need their rest. They get agitated when too many people are around."

Ana-Lena walks up to the jail cell. Anakin can tell she has been crying.

"Hey, sweet pea junior. How are you?"

"Are you coming home, Daddy?"

"Yes, sweet pea."

"Soon?"

"I hope so…could be any time, now that your mom is here."

"Here's my Ewok doll, Daddy. …so you won't be lonely tonight."

Anakin glances around at his cohorts.

"I don't think that's a problem but thank you." He changes his mind and is about to reach through the bars to take the doll when one of the police on guard duty stops the transaction.

"Hey, hey, hey….hold on now. We have to check that for weapons."

The other officer rolls his eyes. He sees his partner as a bit of a power-hungry buffoon.

"Oh, right, Vito, we don't want him breaking out of jail with a doll." He gives a gesture for Anakin to take the doll then walks away.

Ana-Lena looks up at her father. He smiles.

"Have courage, sweet pea."

"Okay."

"That's my girl."

Vito tries to exercise his power.

"Alright. That's enough."

"Hey, I'm talking to my daughter here."

The anti-Force shield prevents him from using his powers beyond the jail cell. He is tempted to throttle the chubby overzealous officer. He sets his sights on something more important. He sees Krizstan in his mother's arms. The toddler is wearing pajamas with baby Ewoks printed on them. His trusty pacifier is securely anchored in his mouth. Anakin speaks to him.

"Hey! How's my little guy?"

Kris points to the jail cell and spits out his pacifier. He looks to his mother.

"Bird!"

"Yes, sweetie. Jail birds." She glances at her pathetic looking husband in the jail cell. "All jail birds. But we don't put real birds in cages anymore…just people."

Nakai sees his young granddaughter and nods for her to come over to where he is standing.

"How are you doing, princess?"

"Hi, Grandpop."

"Don't worry. Your daddy and I are big boys. We can handle this.

"Li-An said you're all going to take a trip down the Green Mile like on Geonosis. Are you going to be eaten by a nexu?"

"Your brother is just messing with you. We'll be home soon." Nakai looks out of the jail cell and sees someone enter the holding area. "Well look who it is…'Mr. Big Shot' police captain leaving his own father and brother-in-law out to dry."

Stephan sighs and shakes his head at the accusation. There is a crooked smile on his face as he scans the group of men in the jail cell.

"Well, well, if it isn't the infamous 'Coruscant Ten'. What a sight. How are the accommodations, men?"

Han snorts sarcastically."

"Delightful."

Kyp yells back.

"What a dump! Is this what we pay our taxes for?"

Kyle laughs.

"You idiot, we're Jedi. We have tax exempt status."

"Oh, yeah."

Anakin looks at Stephan.

"Are you here to clear this up?"

"We're sorting it out as we speak, Anakin."

Elan points to the others.

"I'm really innocent this time. I don't have anything to do with whatever they were involved in tonight."

Stephan looks at Elan for a moment then rolls his eyes. Ana-Lena whispers to her uncle.

"Uncle Stephan, take care of my Daddy. Don't leave him in prison too long."

"I won't, angel."

The sergeant calls the captain aside.

"Captain, a moment please?"

The two men confer in the corner.

"Yes, sergeant?"

"Are we going to tell them that the clerk made a typo on the warrant and raided the wrong hotel suite? Fat Bantha and his gang are going to be brought in soon for processing. We can't let them see each other."

Stephen turns and glances back at the would-be felons and smirks.

"Alright, sergeant, let them go…No…wait. On second thought, let them hang out here until morning. My sister's going to love this. My mother will love it even more."

"What about the 'Nexu Mob?"

"Take your time processing them. Put them in the Rancor holding cell downstairs. Let these knuckleheads cool off."

"If you say so, Captain but they're going to kill each other by morning."

"That's a distinct possibility."

Stephan walks back to the holding cell.

"Alright…it's been a busy night getting this all sorted out but I've got top men working on this."

Anakin looks at his brother-in-law through the bars.

"Who?"

"Top men."

Stephan quickly leaves after saying goodnight to his sister and the children. He has a hard time keeping a straight face. Anakin is outraged.

"What? Isabel, you're going to leave me here like this?"

"My hands are tied, Anakin. Children, say goodnight to your father."

Ana-Lena does not seem as choked up as she was a few minutes ago.

"Okay…Bye-bye, Daddy."

Alex and Li-An, who sneaked away with their uncle earlier got a quick tour of the precinct. They are still excited.

"See ya, Dad!"

Kris is about to fall asleep but is alert enough to bid his father goodnight.

"Bye-Bye bird."

Isabel and the children leave. Luke, Lando, and Obi-Wan follow. Anakin and the other men stay overnight. He is not happy about this. Officer Lorenzo, however, takes great joy in this moment as he passes out pillows.

"Okay, 'ladies' listen up, you're here for the night so get comfy. Here's your bedding. Sleep tight. Don't let the Mustafar lava fleas bite." He sees Anakin holding the stuffed Ewok and is about to make a wisecrack; instead, he shakes his head and grins. "This is too easy."

Valin whispers to Anakin.

"What is his problem?"

Anakin tucks his pillow under his arm.

"Don't know but he's going to have a bigger one when I get out of here."

Elan, Biggs, Nakai, and Professor Solo take the only four bunks in the holding cell. Anakin, Han, and Chewie gather on the floor near the lower bunk where Professor Solo is resting. Valin joins them after getting fed up with Elan's whining, and Kyp and Kyle's antics as they torment the Balosar. Han pulls out a pack of cards that the missed confiscation by the guards. He sits on the floor and stars a game with the men. He wonders how his wife is coping with his arrest. He thinks that perhaps he should have called her.

'_Reprieve - Home Again, Home Again Sithity Sith'_

"Men, you've been sprung!" These are the words from Sergeant Buntz as he instructs his officers to release the 'Coruscant Ten.'

The detainee in the opposite jail cell is recovering from a hangover. He waves through the bars.

"You guys coming back any time soon? Stop by for a visit sometime. Don't get all high and mighty because you're on the outside now. Hey! Hey! I know you hear me! 'eff-you' all! Jerks!"

Sergeant Buntz yells at the drunk who can almost call the place 'home.'

"Shut up, Ernest T.!"

As Anakin and his cohorts are released in the morning, he shows his gratitude to Officer Lorenzo by Force-slamming the jail door his face knocking him out cold. The men stop at the personal property window to retrieve their weapons and other possessions. Professor Solo examines his pen then carefully. A bit of the toxin is missing. He carefully tucks the pen in the inside pocket of his jacket. Anakin grabs his wallet and lightsaber. He tucks the Ewok doll under his arm.

The night before, Leia was not the distraught wife of man in the city jail. She was at a male strip club with Winter, Rocca, Sena, a pregnant Callista, Mara and some of Mara's other friends. They had a wonderful time. However, she is standing outside near her speeder with her arms folder across her chest. Han does not expect her to be there for him. He feels guilty for not calling her last night. He hangs his head and walks up to the vehicle.

"How did you…?"

She opens the passenger door and gestures for him to get inside the speeder.

"Get in, stupid."

Han smiles that goofy smile of his when he thinks he is in the clear.

"Yes, ma'm."

He waves to Lando and Chewie.

Philippe picks up Nakai.

"Hey, Dad."

"Where did you disappear to last night?"

"Ice."

"Ice?"

"That's my story and I'm sticking to it."

Professor Solo adjusts the cuffs on his dress shirt. He looks remarkably dashing for a man who spent the night in jail. A sports speeder pulls up. Dusty Galore lifts the sunglasses and winks. Solo looks to his left, then to the right before walking to the vehicle.

Elan wanders outside the precinct.

"Can somebody give me a ride?"

Kyp turns to see the pathetic little imp. Rocca gets out and lets Kyle take the driver's seat while she sits in the back with Sena Shan.

"Okay, get in."

Each time Elan tries to get into the speeder, Kyle jolts the vehicle forward. Elan is getting frustrated.

"Come on you guys!"

"Well come on! We don't have all day."

After taunting him, Kyle finally stops the speeder long enough for Elan to get into the back seat. He is about to complain until he sees Rocca Tachi and Sena Shan in the back seat with him. He clears his throat and tries to be cool.

"Hello, ladies." He tries to put his arm around the girls.

Rocca cringes

"Eww! As if!"

Sena looks straight ahead, and without a beat, she responds.

"Lay one finger on me and die."

"Okay…we can take it slow…" This elicits a dirty look from Sena. He recoils and puts his hands on his lap. "…or not."

Obi-Wan waits outside to take the Dark Lord home. Anakin breathes in the fresh morning air as he heads to the speeder.

"Good morning, Anakin."

"Good morning, Master."

"Let's get you home, shall we?"

"Yes. Let's."

He gets a heroes welcome as he walks through the door. He is happy to be home. Threepio stands in the foyer to greet his master.

"Oh, bless the maker! Our master is home at last, Artoo. Welcome! Welcome!"

Anakin gives his two-faced protocol droid a dirty look then walks pass him.

Threepio turns to Artoo.

"He doesn't look that thrilled to be home. Something about prison hardens the incarcerated man. Not even a cheerful hello or thank-you for the welcoming greeting or the party steamers."

Artoo chortles back sarcastically.

"What do you mean? Of course he was thrilled to see me."

The children run to greet their father.

"Yea! Daddy's home!"

Li-An checks his father's hands.

"Hey, Dad, did you shank anyone in the prison yard? Any cool tattoos?"

"We need to have a talk later about your obsession with me being in jail. Where's your mother?"

"She's upstairs. She sure is mad at you."

After spending some time with the children, Anakin musters enough courage before he heads upstairs to the Master bedroom.

"Hey, honey."

"Hello, party boy."

"Don't be mad. I've come to you with humility…and for my _'conjumble visit.'_"

"Close the door, felon." Isabel pats the edge of the bed.

"Cool!"

Anakin waves his hand and Force-closes the door.

'_A Mustafar Fireside Chat'_

Things are peaceful from now on. Luke has come out unscathed from the attempts by his father and friends to interfere with his life. All is quiet.

On one of these quiet days, he chooses to stop by the house to pick up a few things. He makes it down the stairs and to the foyer carrying his stereo system. He is heading towards the front door when his father pops his head out of the den.

"Luke? Son? Hi. I've been expecting you."

Luke winces. He was just about to make a clean getaway. He turns slowly and pretends that this is a great time to see his father.

"Hey, Dad. How's it going?"

"Peachy. What are you up to?"

"Oh…I just decided that I wanted my stereo system at my new place."

"You're deciding that now? Set that down for a minute…come into my study…You've been so busy and we haven't talked in a while."

Luke wonders what his father is up to today of all days. He can always tell when his father is up to something. Anakin makes idle chitchat and he has that mischievous glimmer in his eye. Luke's eyes dart back and forth between the front door and the study. Anakin stands in the doorway waiting for his _'Number 1 Son'_ to join him. The decision whether to high tail it to the front door is tempting. He makes one last attempt to make good his escape.

"Dad, I can't stay. I have to get this stereo into my speeder…"

"Put that down. Relax…where's it going to go?"

"It's just that I have a lot going on today."

"You're telling me you have no time to talk to your father today? We may never get this moment back."

Luke hesitates then sets the unit on the floor. He walks towards the door of his father's study. Anakin holds the door open for him. They walk inside and Anakin closes the door.

"Good to see you, kid." He musses Luke's thick blond hair and pats him on the back. "You're going to get that mop cut before the wedding, aren't you?"

"I did get it cut."

"It needs cutting again."

"Okay, sure, Dad. So…what do you want?"

"Have a seat." Luke settles into one of the chairs facing Anakin's desk. Anakin sits in his new ergonomic mesh high-back chair with his hands folded against his chest. "I was thinking…"

Oh no…this is another sign that Luke has feared. The little gears in his father's head are churning. He prays for this moment to be over. His father continues speaking.

"This is as good a time as any to have a father-son talk now that you're about to tie the knot."

"Talk? Of what _'talk'_ are you referring?"

"You know…"

Luke is embarrassed and he is about to rise from his chair.

"Dad! You can't be serious. I know what to do…can we not discuss this?"

"What do you know?"

Luke finds himself on the defensive.

"I know enough."

"How?"

"Obi-Wan for one…"

"Obi-Wan? He gave you 'the_ talk'_? It had to have been the stripper's version."

"Not exactly."

"Why is Obi-Wan talking to you about the birds and the bees?"

"The _who_? Dad, he knows stuff. He _is_ my godfather after all."

"_I'm_ your father."

"Dad, it's okay. It's no reflection on you. I've known since I was twelve. Obi-Wan is a wealth of information. He was pretty thorough. I learned stuff from Han too."

Anakin is incensed.

"Han? Han? You talked to that dumb cluck smart-mouth brother-in-law? He couldn't find his way out of a space slug."

"Oh, come on, Dad…"

"I just thought we would have our special moment. Now this moment is taken away from me too. You know, you kids break my heart sometimes…makes me want to cry…"

"Aww, Dad! Don't do that…"

"I'm just saying. I could cry but I won't I have too much pride."

Luke is relieved that his father is not going to cry.

"Okay, fine. You want to have _'the talk'_ fine…lets' get this over with."

"Are you serious?"

"Of course. I look up to you, Dad."

A boyish smile creeps across Anakin's face

"Really?"

"Really, Dad. Okay… So talk to me. What were you planning to say? I'm all ears. You're the expert."

Anakin considers for a moment.

"Uhmmm…Ewww…I'm not going to talk to you about that stuff."

Luke is exasperated. He throws his head back against the headrest of the leather chair.

"Dad, you just complained that you never get to _'talk'_ to me. Let's go. I don't have a lot of time."

"You know, I just wanted you to come to me first."

"Well, I'm here now. Tell me all the secrets of the bed room."

"That's none of your business. I don't know why we're in here discussing my private moments."

"But…you…oh, geez…Dad! You tell me we don't talk enough and now you have nothing to say. You're making me crazy. I hope you know that. You dragged me in here." Luke rubs his forehead. He is getting a headache. Anakin is slightly amused.

"I did, didn't I? Hey! I have an idea. Have you seen my den?"

"Yes, Dad. We were trying to keep it a surprise for the last two months up until Befana Eve. Mom worked really hard to get it finished in time."

"She's great, isn't she? Hey, let's get out of here and sit in the den for a while. We'll have an ale and chat."

"Sure, Dad."

Luke follows his father out of the study and head for the den. Anakin smiles proudly as he sinks into one of the leather sofas.

"This is much better. This is a room for a man's man. Not as hazardous as the living room. No clumsy guests bumping into overpriced vases and no random child passing through while we use adult language. Oh! I almost forgot…." He gets up, walks over to the bar, and grabs two bottles from the refrigerator. Instead of the ale he originally offered, he returns with two opened bottles of Rodia soda. He hands one of the bottles to Luke before sinking back into the soft leather sofa.

"Thanks, Dad." Luke runs his hand across the Sabacc table then takes a seat. He knows that the soda was there from one of the Sabacc games because had gave him the rundown of the events. It didn't matter. This was his father's way of bonding. Anakin reaches over and taps bottles with Luke.

"Like old times. May the Force be with you, son."

"Ditto, Dad."

Anakin looks puzzled for a moment then continues.

"This is the place to have a good cigar and watching the pod races or playing a game of Sabacc with your buddies without your wife nagging you every ten minutes. I hope you set aside a room like this before Mara takes charge of your home."

Luke is barely listening as he studies the décor. Anakin lays on the sofa and rambles on. Luke watches the clock.

"Why are you looking at the clock?"

"I really have to leave soon."

Anakin glances over at the clock on the wall.

"Oh, yeah… you're right. I'd better go upstairs and get dressed. I've got this wedding to go to later. How about you?"

Luke stands and puts his hands in his pockets.

"Same here."

Anakin gets up from the sofa and stretches. He opens his mouth to form a big yawn

"This is a lot easier than your sister's wedding. I could relax and loaf around all day."

"Thanks for the talk, Dad. It meant a lot to me...really."

"I'm glad I got to spend time with you, son." The father and son hug one another.

They head out of the den. Luke retrieves his stereo system from the foyer. He turns to his father as Anakin heads up the stairs.

"I'll see you on the other side."

"See you on the other side, son."

Anakin disappears up the steps and down the hall. Luke leaves the house. Anakin doesn't remember it being so quiet here. Everyone else has left for the church. There is an eerie silence as closes the door. He is alone.


	154. Chapter 154 Red's Wedding Day

_Chapter 154_

**'_A Jedi Wedding is a Piece of Cake'_**

**'_I Always Cry at Weddings, Funerals, Picnics, and 501__st__ Legion Parades' _**

**'_Reminiscing' _**

**'_Le Nozze di Luca (I Do, I Do)' __with thanks to W.A. Mozart_**

* * *

_Mr. & Mrs. Vincenzo Jade are pleased to announce the wedding _

_of their daughter _

_Jedi Mara Rosanna Costanza_

_to _

_Jedi Master Luke Skywalker_

_the son of Lord & Mrs. Anakin Skywalker_

_at_

_Cathedral Basilica of Our Lady of The Immaculate Conception of Tatooine_

_His Eminence Aslan Cardinal Jinn __will Officiate_

All of Coruscant was looking forward to this momentous occasion. The couple had married a week earlier in a private civil ceremony in Master Adi Gallia's Chambers at the Jedi Temple surrounded by their immediate family. The twin's family court judge presides over the ceremony. Anakin tries to maintain a low profile but it is useless. When you are the infamous Dark Lord who was recently arrested in a highly publicized botched sting operation in a hotel suite, you cannot escape.

The judge looks at him. Anakin is embarrassed. He knows she is going to say something. He prepares himself to face the music.

"Good Morning, Mr. Skywalker."

"Good morning, Your Honor."

"You can't seem to stay out of mischief, can you?"

"I tried, Your Honor. Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in. Heh-heh-heh-heh."

His laughter fades then ends with a sigh as he realizes she does not get the humor of his joke. She offers some kind words.

"Well, it's good to see you again under more favorable circumstances this time. Congratulations are in order. You've done and excellent job with Luke and Leia. The younger children show great promise. I must commend you on your exemplary parenting skills. You've gained a lot of patience over the years; I can tell."

"Thank you, Your Honor."

Anakin blushes. He feels proud.

Leia is standing in the back of the room with Li-An and Han. Li-An covers his mouth and giggles. Leia manages to control herself and whispers to both Han and her younger brother.

"Shhh…stop it!" She turns away as she feels a burst of laughter coming on. Han and Li-An make faces. She scolds her husband. "Han, you stay away from my brother, you're a bad influence.

"Me? I didn't say a word. This kid thinks your old man is a laugh riot."

A small luncheon is held in the Jedi Archives Private salon. The onslaught for an over-blown gala would follow a week later. Everyone would be happy…and then there will be peace.

_**'Things My Mother Said to Me…in Public…On My Wedding Day' **_

Maggie Jade pops into the room to see her daughter before the ceremony. The bridesmaids do some last minute primping. Maggie sees her daughter and lets out a high-pitched squeal.

"Ohhh…look at my baby! Mara, honey, you look gorgeous!"

Mara turns, looking hopeful, and glad to have this mother-daughter moment.

"Really, Mom?"

"Of course you do, sweetheart. I love what the stylist has done with your hair. Subdued but it looks darling. Remember when you were a little girl? We used to get our hair done every Mother's Day. We would go to the Coruscant City Mall for a mother-daughter holograph."

"Luke thought we were part of a cult for big hair."

"Oh, he is so adorable. That boy is going to make such a wonderful husband. So, is there anything you need to ask me?"

"Like what?"

"You know…before you step into the church today. You have any questions … about married life…housekeeping, cooking…sex life?…Oh! Did you see the latest issue of Cosmic Woman Magazine? Not to worry. I slipped a copy into your money tote."

The tender mother-daughter moment Mara was hoping for fizzles as quickly as it began.

"Mom!"

"Mara, I put red stickers on the pages. Oh, honey, you have to read it. There's one article on five hundred and one ways to make your man go wild in the bedroom. You should read it for your wedding night."

"Mother! I am not going to have this discussion with you and I refuse to read that magazine on my honeymoon. No! I won't do it."

"Read it before the honeymoon, you silly goose."

"Where? Between courses at the reception dinner?"

"Sometimes there's a lot of time between the appetizer and the entrée. You should read it. They give great advice. I was about to try some of the techniques on your father but he said I might kill him."

"Eww! Mother, we are not having this conversation." Mara walks to the door. "Excuse me, could everyone leave for a minute?" Mara shuts out her bridesmaids. She locks the doors then confronts her mother. "Mother, I love you and I will tell you this only once. Please don't take what I am about to say personally."

Maggie smiles and then fluffs Mara's veil.

"Oh, honey. It's just nerves, isn't it? You can say anything. I won't get upset."

"Get out."

"What?" She ignores Mara's protests while continuing to adjust Mara's veil. "You can't be serious."

"I am. You're making me crazy. Go to the church. I'll see you later."

Maggie looks over at Roulf who is on his walkie-talkie with Théo making sure that the wedding goes off without a hitch. She interrupts him as he is listening to Théo give him an update on the guest seating. Maggie has his attention.

"Isn't she adorable? Roulf, dear, you understand what I'm talking about don't you? I think the articles in _Cosmic Woman Magazine _are just fascinating."

Roulf waves his hand as he engages in conversation with Maggie.

"I _sink_ it's _fahsinating_ too. Is it really up to five hundred and one ways to please a man? Just last year when it was only four hundred and ninety-three. I must read it tomorrow but right now, I _hahf_ a wedding to get off der ground. So you must leave and show everyone what a fierce mutter oft der braut you are."

Maggie blushes and waves her hand. She giggles like a schoolgirl.

"Oh, Roulf, you are so wild. I love it."

"Sank you dahling but I sink you may be more outrageous than I am."

"Oh, go on, you flatterer."

Mara watches the two with their _'witless'_ repartee. She rolls her eyes and points to them.

"Excuse me but this day is about me and not the two of you."

Maggie Jade smiles.

"You are so right, dear. I am going to head over to the church now. My little girl is a nervous bride. This is great! Kisses, sweetheart." Maggie Jade and her daughter exchange air kisses. Mara shoos her out the door.

"Okay, get out, Mother."

Maggie takes her time leaving as she slowly makes her way to the door.

"You look gorgeous, Mara." She turns to look at Roulf. Roulf is doing some primping of his own as he checks his appearance in the floor-to-ceiling mirror. He smoothes his hands over his black velour smoking jacket and white ruffled poet shirt. Maggie pinches his cheek. "You're doing a wonderful job, Roulf, and you look great!"

"Sank-you, Mutter oft der braut. Now gehen Sie schnell mein Rothaar Göttin!"

"You are so cute, you little tyrant."

"You are such a flatterer!" Roulf waves his hand. "Off you go mein red-haired goddess"

**_'You're Never Too Old For A __Goomah_**_**'**_

The cathedral is filling up in anticipation for this glorious event. There is no mistake as to which side is the bride's family and which side belongs to the groom. The ushers include Vic Junior and his brother Mikey along with two ne'er-do-well cousins, Frank Nitti and Tony Tatooini. Their attempts to shake down guests for tips are short-lived after Chewbacca catches them. Théo stands outside the cathedral to check for arriving vehicles.

Fat Bantha and his entourage soon arrive. Not far behind him is an elderly man being helped into the pew by a statuesque thirty something blonde stripper. Mikey escorts Mama Carmella to her seat in the pew directly in front of the old man and the younger woman. The old woman takes out a lace handkerchief and dabs her eyes but not before cursing them.

Palpatine arrives looking dapper in his new tuxedo. Elan trails close behind. Elan wears a cobalt blue crushed velvet dinner jacket with black satin lapels. He borrowed it from the theatre wardrobe department. Palpatine excitedly takes his place in the Skywalker family pew in the fourth row. Someone is in the row directly in front of him. He is incensed that the golden protocol droid gets priority seating. He is more annoyed at not being invited to the bachelor party. When he learns of the arrests and the overnight jail stay, he tells Anakin _'Serves you right. What a shameful display for a man in your position.'_

Lando and his wife arrive at the same time as Professor Higgins and Nurse Ratched-Higgins. They are seated on the groom's side of the cathedral in the front row with other high-ranking diplomats and the Queen of Naboo.

The Naberrie family arrives followed by the Nor family. They are escorted to the Skywalker family pew in the front row. Isabel enters the cathedral wearing a flowing silk taffeta gown with bow straps. The iridescent charcoal fabric compliments Anakin's cummerbund.

The bride's immediate family arrives. Joey Bagadonats hands one of the stormtroopers his coat and slips him a 20 credit note. Maggie Jade makes her entrance wearing a chocolate brown satin floor length skirt and matching jacket with big Geonosian crystal buttons. Her usual auburn high flip is styled in a more appropriate and subdued chignon. An amber comb encrusted with crystals holds it in place. Roulf assured her that it would look _'fahbulous'_ and it does. She is beaming after having just left her daughter and making a fuss over her. Mara threatens her mother if she does not leave immediately.

Roulf has the hairdresser do makeovers on Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. Beru is receptive to change; Owen, one the other hand is resistant. Roulf's hairstylist tells Owen that the scruffy five o'clock shadow look only works for hip, younger men. _'On you, however it makes you look like a drunken vagrant.' _Owen almost decks Roulf and the stylist.

_**'501**__**st**__** Legion Under the Sith'**_

Professor Solo enters with his wife Sabrina on his arm. She wears a pink satin gown, silk gloves and her hair is piled high on her head like some elaborately woven basket adorn with a pink diamond tiara. Guests pray she does not sit near them with that obstruction on her head.

The orchestra performs an oh-so-familiar military march.

'_Da Da dum …da-da dum da-da dum… _

_Da Da dum …da-da dum da-da dum...'_

Anakin walks down the aisle flanked by a military escort of the 501st Legion. The elite troopers stand at attention in front of the altar then head back outside to guard the sidewalk and hold back throngs of spectators pushing their way towards the police barricades. Anakin had to work the troopers hard for over a month getting them to unlearn what they have learned while they were under the unauthorized command of General Han Solo.

Han decided to surprise his father-in-law on his 25th anniversary with the battalion by livening up their stale marching drill. Leia begs Han not to do it.

"Don't you trust me?"

"No."

"Come on. You're going to tell me that your dad still enjoys that boring goose-step routine from a quarter century ago? Old dead Imperial legends! Why must we go on forever hearing about Jedi gods and legends?"

"Because they do. They go on forever…or at least what they represent…it is the eternal in us, both the good and bad. Besides, they are for ceremonial use only."

"So, they're like your dad's toy soldiers. Cute."

"It keeps him centered…and he likes the way they look."

"The only mistake I see is an obsolete troop and bad marching."

"He's not going to like you tampering with his military. Han, don't do anything you'll regret…please."

"Will you relax? What's not to like? He'll love it. Trust me. "

"I have a bad feeling about this."

During an intergalactic live broadcast of Anakin's inspection of the troops for the top brass and galactic Senate, the 501st Legion performs a special drill. Anakin has been proud of the parade featuring the various divisions of the New Galactic Military thus far. What comes next is a shock. The troopers arrive two minutes late. They perform a new drill that no one could have imagined but 'Number One Son-In-Law'.

Weeks before, Admiral Motti sends one of his officers to spy on General Solo, he could not believe the report he gets back. Motti confronts Solo with his findings.

"Up to your usually trickster ways, General Solo?"

Han thinks up a quick excuse.

"Motti, this is your lucky day. I was just about to tell you all about my grand plan."

"You don't fool me a bit, Solo. When his Lordship finds out you've been using his elite troops, you'll no longer be welcome at headquarters let alone at his house."

"Oh, yeah, well then, you can be the first to tell him if you want to ruin the surprise. All I'll say is he's going to be amazed when he sees how I've reenergized the battalion."

"Why don't you fill me in and I might forget you broke protocol by tampering with the 501st Legion."

Han is calculatingly coy about the details. He flicks a speck of lint off the sleeve of his uniform.

"They're not ready yet…but if you must tell him, you can assure my father-in-law that he will be impressed."

"You're not going to get me sucked up in your shenanigans, Solo."

"Well, when he does see them, someone, namely yours truly, will be looking at a promotion….but I would be willing to share the credit…"

Motti is torn between throwing Han under a moving speeder and the idea of a potential promotion for himself. He could earn extra stripes on his uniform while scoring needed points with the Dark Lord. In his eagerness to take undeserved credit, he quickly brokers a deal with Han. Motti emerges with certain victory. He has silenced the brazen insubordinate officer once and for all. He confides in General Tagge during a private lunch meeting.

"For once I shall have my victory over that smart-mouthed piece of _'sith'_. I shall take full credit for his Lordship's legion of troopers. For once and for all I will wipe that smirk of the face of that clown son-in-law of his."

It is a brisk spring morning during the Military parade in Imperial Square. Every division of the New Republic and Imperial Armed Forces is represented. The parade also features the latest in military hardware. There is an aerial display of TIE Interceptors and X-Wing Starfighters. Several All-Terrain Scout Transports and a Self Propelled Heavy Artillery -Turbo laser roll along in the procession. Motti stands at attention as Anakin stops in front of his elite squad of troopers. The lead trooper salutes the Dark Lord.

"Legion...Five-O-One, reporting, sir!"

"Where the hell have you been, soldier?"

"Training, sir!" the rest of the 501st Legion echoes his words.

"Training, sir!"

Anakin stands with guarded interest.

"What kind of training, soldier?"

"Military training, Sir!"

The rest of the troopers repeat after him as the Dark Lord looks on. Admiral Motti watches as the soldiers answer their commander-in-chief and perform their drill.

"Military training, Sir! Just like before only better, sir! And right shoulder, ho!"

"Order, ho!"

"Side, step right. Left flank, left! Queen Apailana salute!"

"Three five seven!"

"Razzle-dazzle!"

"Hut, two, three, four!"

"Hut, two, three, four!"

"Why'd the Jawa cross the road?"

"To get from the left to the right. He stepped out of rank, got hit by a tank He ain't no Jawa no more!"

"The quick brown scurrier jumped over the lazy mott, sir!

Anakin is dumbstruck as he watches. He questions the troopers.

"Who's your drill leader, men?"

"Admiral Motti, sir!"

Admiral Motti smiles smugly while Anakin addresses the elite troops.

"So, I'm to understand that Admiral Motti spearheaded this new drill routine?"

"That's the fact, Jack!"

Anakin quietly inspects the troops. He spins around to face Admiral Motti.

"So this is your work, Admiral?"

"Yes it is, sir."

"Are you sure?"

"Quite positive, Your Lordship." Motti shows signs of nervous perspiration. Anakin can smell the fear in the officer.

"That's your final answer?"

"Yes, sir."

"Very well then. You're fired."

"What?"

"What sort of fool do you take me for? This is definitely not your handiwork, Motti. You've disappointed me for the last time, Admiral. You disgust me! Guards!"

Two guards quickly approach the Dark Lord.

"Yes, sir."

"Take him away!"

The guards lead away a screaming Admiral Motti.

Anakin smiles gleefully.

If only this had actually happened. No such luck! Anakin has been daydreaming again. Admiral Motti is standing in the guest pews with other military staff and their families. Make no mistake; Han did tamper with the 501st Legion. Anakin will deal with his prankster son-in-law later. He makes his way to the family pew and sits beside his wife. He reaches for her hand and whispers to her.

"Why didn't you walk down the aisle with me?"

"I didn't want to draw attention to myself. You're late anyway."

"Oh, this is all about you isn't it?"

"I'm not the one flanked by stormtroopers."

"You look so hot."

Isabel nudges him.

"Shhh! Don't change the subject."

"Anyway, I was delayed because I wanted to have a talk with my son on his wedding day."

"I'm sure he was thoroughly embarrassed."

"It went quite well actually."

Isabel doubts that Luke found this so-called 'father-son chat' uplifting or informative.

"Hm-hmm."

They sit silent for a moment. Anakin gently pats her on the hand as if to reassure her.

"You look worried. He'll be fine."

"I hope so. I've been trying to talk them out of it for months now."

"Relax."

"He's not going to go through with it…I can feel it."

"Hey, the worst case scenario is if he bails…we'll just have a good laugh about it later."

"I don't think Mara will be amused."

"It'll be fine. She can take it."

"You're too calm and happy today. I'm not sure I like it."

"I had a relaxing day. And I should be happy. My eldest son is getting married…I'm a happy man…and yes, I took my meds. Stop looking at me like that."

"Don't be so defensive…I was about to tell you how handsome you look today."

"I know."

Isabel gives up. Humility does not come easy for the Dark Lord. She laces her fingers in his and smiles contently. Isabel is determined that this is going to be a perfect day no matter what he does.

Anakin's eyes light up when he sees his favorite executive secretary arrive with her husband. Gladys and Uli Jensen sit in the front row with They join The Higgins,' Calrissian's, and Supreme Chancellor Valorum and other dignitaries.

Angelic voices from the renowned Jedi Temple Youngling Choir fill the cathedral as the last of the guests take their seats. Luke appears from the side door with the cardinal, Han his best man, and Artoo.

Isabel and Anakin are beaming as they watch Luke standing at the altar in his elegant designer suit. Luke rarely wears suits so it was important for Isabel to make a concerted effort to help him select something special. She uses Anakin's tailor for this.

The procession begins. The members of the Jedi High Council arrive and take their seats on the altar. Through the music, one can still hear Master Yoda's gimer stick clicking against the granite, marble, and alabaster floor. The Jedi emblem is set in Blue Onyx in the center. Each of the stained glass windows depicts a scene from the Jedi scriptures of Ossus, Saint Arca Jeth of Arkania, The Eight Commandments of the Jedi Code, The Stations of the Force, to the Great Inquisition and the Clone Crusades. All one needs to do is walk from one panel to the next to get an entire history lesson. Tours are held for the public five days a week to view the stained glass panels of the cathedral. There are daily pilgrimages from across the galaxy to visit the historic Basilica. Palpatine finds the images disturbing. He whispers to Elan that the eyes on each of the images seem to follow him. Elan laughs.

"Boss, you're imagining things. Remember you forgot which water bottle you put _'Ms. M's'_ heartworm medication in? You were hallucinating for a week."

"This is no hallucination. Those figures are looking at me. I can feel it. They continue to judge me from beyond the grave."

No one believes him. Palpatine sneaks a glance up to the stained glass images. The panel depicting Jedi Mace Windu lights up. The glass likeness of the Jedi Master points to the dethroned emperor. Palpatine shutters then quickly turns away.

The groomsmen and bridesmaids start down the aisle towards the altar. They step in time to the music. Everything so far is perfect. Leia is the maid of honor and she follows the group down the aisle. Trailing directly behind Leia are the children, beautifully dressed flower girls and handsome little boys. However, the ring bearer's commitment to fulfill his duties begins to wane. Krizstan looks adorable in a crisp white romper with hand smocking and white nuna leather shoes that button on the side. He manages to follow the procession of bridesmaids and groomsmen halfway down the aisle. Suddenly he stops.

"Mama!"

The satin ring pillow goes flying over his shoulder. He passes the others and heads to the Skywalker family pew at the altar. Anakin is slightly amused as he whispers to Isabel like a pod racing announcer.

" '…_And folks, as predicted, he bails! And the crowd goes wild.' _It's a good thing the rings weren't really on the pillow."

Isabel sighs then quickly catches the toddler as he makes his way to the altar. There are a few giggles from the guests. Luke smiles then shrugs. This is a great accomplishment for youngest Skywalker sibling. It will be a moment long remembered. Kris settles in his mother's lap and quietly plays with the wedding program.

The music swells once the wedding party takes their places at the altar. Vic Jade makes his way down the aisle with his only daughter on his arm. All eyes are on them. Anakin is feeling blissful right now. He watches Vic Jade prepare to give away his daughter. Anakin wonders what thoughts are going through Vic Jade's mind. The medication Anakin has taken is just starting to kick in so his powers are too clouded to read Vic's thoughts. Vic Jade is thinking how he will pay for this big wedding.

The transformation of the fiery, petite Jedi bride is astonishing. There is no biker chick leather, no off-the shoulder spandex, and no high-heeled boots to be found. Today is for the finer, more delicate fabrics. The ivory wedding gown is a sleeveless fishtail-cut silk and lace creation with ribbon straps. The handmade chapel veil and 25-foot train took six months for the licensed lace makers to complete. The four women, originally from Corellia, are the official embroiderers and lace makers for the Jedi Order and are responsible for everything from, table linens to window treatments and official attire bearing the Jedi emblem. The train and veil are no exception. The Jedi symbol is featured throughout the fabric.

Mara wears mid-length silk gloves. She holds a bouquet comprised of lavender, sweet peas, rare Hoth Mountain edelweiss, green freesia, white orchids, and mini purple calla lilies. The bouquet is tied with a leaf-green satin ribbon. It is attached to a Naboo pearl Jedi Rosary, a gift from Jobal Naberrie. Mara's luxurious red hair is styled in a neat upsweep-do. A pair of citrine diamond earrings, a gift from Luke, from the Theed Palace crown jewels brings out the green of her eyes.

Luke felt a bit embarrassed inheriting a title of prince from Padmé's reign as Queen of Naboo. He had already achieved the rank of Jedi Master. It was hard enough for his Padawans to stay focused as they took instruction from the popular Jedi. The last thing he needed was for the apprentices to feel doubly intimidated when they are in his presence. He wants to be thought of as an 'awesome' Jedi Master, not looked at in awe. While Leia was comfortable with her title as princess, Luke saw it as an inconvenience. Having access to the Naboo Crown Jewels is the only perk he is willing to accept.

Mara practiced walking around the house in her wedding shoes weeks before the big day. Her feet did not hurt at all. The ivory satin sling backs are perfect. Isabel took her shopping for them on the same day that Anakin spent time with the children and served them ice cream for lunch.

Luke watches as his bride-to-be makes her way down the aisle to greet him. He is chuffed because she looks so beautiful. He is distracted by a loud wailing sound coming from the Jade pew. It is too woeful for such a joyous occasion.

"Oooh, Santa Ayala! Shesa so beautiful! Aaaah…whoohoohoohoo!"

Heads turn. The wailing eventually subsides.

Anakin recalls the previous year when he accompanied his own daughter down the aisle. Anakin knows he will take yet another trip several years from now. He glances across the altar at the bridal party and zeroes in on his youngest daughter. She is just sort of her fifth birthday but is as poised as the bridesmaids standing with her.

It was just the other day that she catches her father in time to join her for a tea party on the terrace. He was about to sneak away to take a catnap on his favorite leather sofa in the den. He is like a bantha in headlights knowing there is no escape. He tries one last ploy to get out of it. He remembers his fatherly words to his young daughter.

"Can't you get Threepio? He's not busy." He quickly changes his tune when he looks into her innocent blue eyes. "Ooh…alright…What do I have to do?"

Five minutes later, he is sitting at that tiny table with his young daughter and her dolls. He stares at the tiny porcelain tea set that his adult hand so clumsily handles. The pressure from his mighty grip could crush the delicate china into a fine dust. This never happens. Leia used this same tea set as a child. Not one piece has broken over the years of use.

Anakin is set up with all the 'accoutrements' in order to participate at the tea party. This includes a child's parasol, a silk shawl, sun hat, and a doll. His long legs hit the edge of a table reminiscent of the times he suffered though this ritual with Leia. Ana-Lena demonstrates how to sit like a proper 'lady'. Anakin almost tips the table doing this. At one point, he almost falls out of the little chair as his feet get caught underneath the chair leg. Ana-Lena giggles as her father struggles to sit upright.

"So, you think this is funny? What sort of a host are you to laugh at my expense?"

"Oh, Daddy, there's no expense. This is a free tea party, silly."

"Good to know."

So, here he is looking utterly ridiculous, while gingerly holding his tiny teacup and chatting about imaginary play friends, holding a one-way conversation with a large stuffed Ewok to he right and a tauntaun to his left. Anakin is forced to speak in a horrid falsetto. He is glad he is doing this in the privacy of his home (As long as that smart-mouthed son-in-law does not walk through the door). The tepid red Bimmisaari tea is spiked with a bit of jiri juice for added sweetness. His daughter sits across from him. She takes a sip from her teacup then sets it delicately onto the saucer before speaking

"How are you today, Mrs. Wicket?"

Anakin looks around then realizes it is his turn to speak.

"Uhm…._oh, I'm fine. How are you?"_ He breaks character for a moment "What's your name?"

"Mrs. Skywalker of course!"

"Well, how come I can't be _'Mrs. Skywalker'_?"

"It's just pretend, Daddy. Come on! You're ruining our tea party."

"Oh. Sorry, milady."

Anakin senses they are not alone. Threepio and Artoo are hiding behind the lemon tree planter. He turns for a moment and scowls even though he cannot see them. His daughter wants his undivided attention. Anakin considers himself lucky. Back when Leia held him captive to play tea party, he was reduced to a bantha or wampa, or rancor. He decides not to complain. The tea party resumes.

"So, Mrs. Wicket, how is your daughter?"

Anakin remembers how this game works. He know just the right thing to say.

"Oh, she's fine. She's smart but doesn't always do her chores."

"Chores? She's just a baby. What kind of a parent are you? They're supposed to enjoy their childhood."

"Oh…"

Anakin is confused. She's got him there. He has been so brainwashed by Leia's method of play that he forgets he is playing with the 'kinder, gentler' version of 'Tea Party'. He resumes play.

"Uh…sorry. I'm just kidding. She's perfect in every way." He shakes the doll and gives it a voice. _'Hello, everybody!'_

Ana-Lena is stunned and horrified. She has more suggestions for her father _aka 'Mrs. Wicket.'_

"Daddy, you don't shake your child. It's dangerous."

He sees nothing wrong with it. He uses this technique at Imperial Military Headquarters with optimal results.

"Oh, sorry…these rules are confusing."

"Daddy, just pretend it's Kris you're holding."

"Oh…I can do that."

Ana-Lena gets back into character.

"Isn't it a lovely day, Mrs. Wicket?"

"Yes, yes it is."

"And what a lovely shawl you're wearing."

"This old thing? I won it in a raffle."

Ana-Lena giggles.

"No you didn't."

"Well, I could have. I won it in a pod racing championship. Heh-heh-heh."

"You're silly, Daddy. Who really gave it to you?"

Anakin stops daydreaming long enough to hear the cardinal say:

"_Who giveth this woman to be wed?"_

He listens as Vic Jade gives an assured, _'Her mother and I do.'_

Anakin watches as Vic places Mara's hand in Luke's hand. Kudos to Vic Jade! He sure handled this moment better than Anakin did almost a year earlier. Anakin promises himself he will try harder next go-round with Ana-Lena.

He tries to imagine his youngest daughter on her first date, inviting boys to the house for the first time. No matter how many times he tries to imagine this, it always turns out the same way…._not _good.

_**'You Are Thirteen Going On Fourteen…There Is No Dating For You!' **_

He is sitting in his den when he hears giggling outside. He turns on the surveillance holocam to watch for signs of inappropriate conduct. He remembers to take a subtle approach and not the heavy-handed one he usually uses in these situations. He decides to throw caution to the wind and steps out of the den.

The poor young suitor wouldn't know what hit him. The horny little pervert. Anakin sees all of the boys in this way. He sees these young delinquents lining up at his door with only one thing in mind. He will have endless discussions with Isabel about this. For once, he would appreciate it if his wife would support his views.

"How come he can't date someone his own age? What about the girls in his class?"

"Anakin, Ana-Lena is in his class."

"She's thirteen! What's she doing in his class?"

"She skipped a grade, remember?"

"She was doing just fine in her other class. She couldn't be dumb for another year?"

"Will you stop it? He's a polite young boy. I like him."

"They all start out polite. It's how they weasel their way into your home. You are so naive. You used to have good judgment, 'Bel."

He tries to maintain calm so as not to alienate everyone in the house. Isabel reminds him to be nice with her two famous comments, _'Anakin, he's only __fourteen__'_ and the oh-so-dreaded, _'Anakin, be nice. We may be seeing this boy for years to come.'_

She is too trusting. Anakin decides to meet this young man. "_'Years to come' _my ass. Humph!" Not if he can help it. No way, no how!

After Ana-Lena introduces her father to the young visitor, Anakin decides to get to know the boy. He recalls overhearing a conversation between Fat Bantha and Danny 'The Dianoga' Jade: _'Keep your__friends close, but keep your enemies closer.'_ Perhaps this is what his wife meant by _'being nice'_. _'Keep her suitors close and choke the creeps.'_ He imagines what the conversation with one of Ana-Lena's young suitors will be like.

"Soooo, (_Chip, Bud, Biff_ or some other generic _boy-next-door_ name). Are you a history buff?"

"Uhh..sure, sir….I like history."

"Good answer. Are you studying the Clone Wars in school yet?"

"Uhm.. sure. Every Monday and Wednesday during third period."

"Great. Let me scooch in here and show you some great moments in history." Anakin firmly plants himself between the two teens on the plush sofa and opens a big history book on the Clone Wars. "Hey, sport, why don't you help me out here and use your hands to hold the pages. Everybody comfy?"

He looks at the boy who firmly planted on the sofa with half of the huge book in his lap. It feels like the safety bars on the high-risk amusement park rides. No risk of falling from this seat. The weight of the book presses firmly against the boy's adolescent chest. His skinny arms can feel the weight of the big book. This is good. There will be no _'roamin'_ hands and _'rushin'_ fingers today. Ana-Lena is seated on her father's left with the other half of the big book in her lap and covering the too-short school uniform she is wearing. He did not pay good money for her school clothes to resemble Aunt Bunny stripper outfits. Isabel ignores him and informs her husband that the skirt is the appropriate length for a girl of Ana-Lena's age. Anakin is ready to rend her back to the Jedi convent school.

Anakin turns to _'generic-boy-next-door'_ and flashes his infamous Dark Lord smile, which is hard for these boys to interpret. Just perfect! Keeps them scared and alert. All is well.

Isabel steals a glance at her husband. She wonders if he could be daydreaming. She gives him a gentle nudge. Anakin sighs softly as he listens to the Jedi cardinal conduct the wedding ceremony.

"Luke, will you take this woman, whose hands you hold, choosing her alone to be your wedded wife? Will you live with her in the state of true matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honor her at all times, and be faithful to her?"

"I will."

"Mara Rosanna Costanza, will you take this man, whose hands you hold, to be your wedded husband? Will you live with him, comfort him, honor him at all times, and be faithful to him?"

Mara looks into Luke's blue eyes and answers.

"I will."

The cardinal speaks.

"To love is to remember and keep alive forever all those unique qualities that drew you to one another in the beginning... Those first halting phrase...the thrill of discovery...that wonderful feeling of oneness when your eyes first met."

Anakin recalls the day their eyes met. He had to pay a visit to the principal's office because Mara's fist introduced itself to Luke's eye in the schoolyard. It is more as if he had a meeting with a cold compress. Luke and his nemesis have come a long way since then. Anakin remembers fondly the first time he Force-choked Vic Jade in the school parking bay. Now they are _'in-lawed.' _Who would have thought!

The cardinal continues to speak.

"To love is to constantly search your feelings for new ways to bring each other to happiness, to make the most of every moment you share together, and marvel at how your feelings for one another keep rising to new heights.

To love is to follow the rainbow through the rain and sandstorms, to be able to laugh at yourselves and be willing to say_..."I was wrong, I'm sorry"_...To forgive, and more importantly, to forget, and to always believe and trust in one another."

Anakin's blissful moment is somewhat distracted by the continued sobbing and wailing from the Jade family pew. Guests turn in the direction of the crying every once in awhile. The Jedi cardinal hears it too. He is determined not to be distracted while performing this marriage ceremony. He continues.

"At this time, the bride and groom will recite vows they prepared themselves for this special day."

Leia takes Mara's bouquet and gloves. Li-An, Alex and Ana-Lena engage in a shoving match at the altar. Isabel sees this and gives the children a stern look. Each child points an accusing finger at the other. Luke and Mara face one another. They are oblivious to the shenanigans going on with the youngsters. Luke speaks first.

"Mara, with all my heart I take you to be my wife, my partner in every adventure we take. You are my soul mate. You are the two suns that warm me on the coldest days. You are the Endor moon to guide me through my darkest hours. Today, we take this journey to become as one in a galaxy that knows no boundaries. Our love will keep us together."

Mara reveals a rolled up piece of paper that she had concealed in a crease of her wedding dress. She opens the blue sheet of paper and begins to read.

"Luke, you are so hot. I am so glad to be up here marrying you today. Your family is so totally awesome to welcome me. I want you to know that I will follow where you lead. There is no mountain high enough and no valley low enough, no river wide enough to keep me from you. All I wanna do is have some fun. I promise you this; I will love you from this moment on. Alright! We rock!" She raises her fist.

There is silence in the cathedral. Master Yoda's jaw drops. The cardinal thinks of something to say.

"Well…that was original…said with conviction…well…there it is." He takes a breath then addresses the couple. "Well…I understand you have brought rings as a token of your sincerity?"

There is a long silence. Luke turns to Han worried that the pirate forgot to bring the rings. Han suddenly realizes this is his cue. All eyes are on him. Artoo chirps to the Nerfherder. Han and Artoo each hand over the rings. Luke breathes a sigh of relief. Han winks.

"Oh, yeah…here you go. See? All's good." He sees Leia give him one of her looks. He rolls his eyes and looks at the floor. He knows he is going to get a lecture from her later.

The cardinal accepts the rings then turns to the bride and groom.

"Bless O God, this ring, that he who gives it and she who wears it may ever abide in thy peace, living together in unity, in love, and in happiness, and with good purpose do thy will. Amen." "This ring is a Jedi symbol of the unbroken unity of truth now to be symbolized in your married life."

"Luke, will you repeat after me: With this ring, I thee wed. Let it ever be to us a symbol of our love."

Jobal smiles proudly as her only grandson speaks these words to his bride with such sincerity and love.

"With this ring, I thee wed. Let it ever be to us a symbol of our love."

"Bless O God, this ring, that she who gives it and he who wears it may ever abide in thy peace, living together in unity under the Jedi Order, in love and happiness, and with good purpose do thy will. Amen.

"This ring again is a symbol of the unbroken unity of truth now to be symbolized in your married life.

Mara Rosanna Costanza, will you repeat after me: With this ring, I thee wed. Let it ever be to us a symbol of our love."

"Ditto. Oh, you want me to say all that? Okay" She faces Luke. "Luke, with this ring, I thee wed. Let it ever be to us a symbol of our love."

The cardinal binds their hands with the sacred cloth to bless their union. Leia walks to the lectern and reads a passage from the Jedi Gospel.

'_A message from Qui-Gon Jinn to Yoda:_

_Well, the Force is what gives a Jedi his power and his faith_

_It's an energy field created by all living things._

_It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together._

_Be assured that with the Force, your spirits will live on forever. _

_Relay this to the faithful so that they may spread the word.'_

Leia steps away from the lectern and takes her place with the other bridesmaids. The Jedi cardinal speaks.

"The bride and groom will now join their individual wedding crystals. The merging of the Unity Crystal is symbolic of the two separate life forces coming together as one and of the two families supporting this new couple."

Soft music plays as Luke and Mara step up to the alabaster pillar where two crystals are anchored firmly in a platinum holder. Mara takes the crystal bearing her name while Luke takes the other bearing his. Each crystal is held against the tip of the other creating a flash of white light that rises to the dome of the cathedral. It is a spectacular sight; even the younglings stop their shoving match to gaze at it. Kris sits in his mother's lap and points.

"Bwight light! Yaa!" He claps.

A popular folk singer from Endor sings a popular wedding ballad. He is from the hippie era before the Clone wars. He traveled the galaxy with his fellow band members spreading the message of peace and love. He steps onto the stage with his acoustic guitar. A Naboo harpist accompanies him. The melody they play is moving and romantic. His voice stirs the heart as he sings.

_The Jedi Wedding Song_

_He is now to be among you at the calling of your hearts_

_Rest assured this Force Spirit knows just the place to start._

_The union of your spirits, here, has caused Him to remain_

_For whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name_

_Where there is the Force, there is Love._

_Well a man shall leave his planet and a woman leaves her home_

_And they shall travel the galaxies where the two shall be as one._

_As it was in the beginning is now and until the end_

_Woman draws her life from the Force and gives it back again._

_And there is the Force, there is Love._

_Well then, what's to be the reason for becoming man and wife?_

_Is it Force that brings you here or Force that brings you life?_

_Or if just being is the answer, then who is the Force for?_

_Do you believe in something that you've never seen before?_

_Oh, there's the Force, there is Love._

_Oh, the marriage of your spirits here has caused Him to remain_

_He surrounds us and penetrates us, the Force has many names_

_The power of the Jedi is the reason that we sing_

_There is the Force, Oh there is Love._

The wailing from the Jade family pew starts up again.

"Mara! Take me with you!"

Uncle Paulie caresses Mama Carmella's shoulder.

"Mama Carmella, calm down."

The cardinal speaks.

"As the officiant of the Jedi gospel, and by the authority invested in me by the City of Coruscant, I pronounce you to be to each other, husband and wife. Whom therefore God hath joined together, let no Sith put asunder. Join with me to pray for the blessing of this young couple. Let them bask in the glow and power of the Force. Let it protect them through their journey as man and wife. Though the pathway through life can be fraught with perils, their faith and belief in the Jedi Code will watch over them. We ask this in the name Jedi Gods, the Angels, and Saints. Mara and Luke, go in peace. To the Jade and Skywalker families, you are now a union."

He nods to Luke. "You may kiss your bride." Luke smiles and takes Mara in his arms and kisses her. The congregation stands and showers the newlyweds with thunderous applause.

"Friends and honored guests may I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Luke Anakin Skywalker"

The couple bows to the Jedi High Council and to the Queen of Naboo before making their way back up the aisle to leave. The wedding party lines up behind them followed by the cardinal, the other officiates and the Jedi High Council. Mama Carmella pushes her way out of the pew. She yells at Joey Bagadonats to hurry so they can see the newlyweds outside the cathedral. The church bells peal. It is a glorious sound across the city of Coruscant. Holographers from all over the galaxy converge outside the basilica square to capture the celebratory moment.

The Skywalker and Jade families exit the cathedral. Anakin is glad this is over. He is quickly reminded, however, that he is, in a sense, married again…to the Jades. He's got to talk to Isabel about taking some strategically planned holidays. They don't want to be home long enough for the Jades to 'pop' over for an 'in-law get-together', or as that know-it-all Professor Solo calls it, 'a _soirée'_. Anakin does not want to be 'sorry' that he is home for a soirée with the man-eater wife of that 'suspiciously _'connected'_ Vic Jade and his crew of hoodlum associates. He decides he might want to start spending more time at the country house on Naboo and perhaps spend some time with Ruwee Naberrie. Palpatine, certain that the cheers are for him, waves to the crowd.

"Yes! Yes! My loyal subjects. You are much too kind. You have not forgotten me."

The town drunk, who regularly stands outside Imperial Military Headquarters during the week, is at the barricades. He takes a swig of his cheap 'Mad Krayt Dragon' whisky and yells.

"You suck, Palpatone!" He says much more but this is all Palpatine hears or chooses to hear. Palpatine strains his eyes to see who it is. He waves anyway.

"Good luck to you too, kind sir!" He turns to Elan as he continues to wave. "What nice fans I have."

Elan is not so sure he is hearing the same words from the inebriated spectator.

"Boss, I'm not so sure he was wishing us luck."

"Of course he is. What else could he be saying?"

Ernest T. sees Anakin leave the cathedral. The old drunkard waves wildly at the Dark Lord.

"Hey! Hey! Dark Lord! Hey!" He turns to others in the crowd and points. "I know that guy! We spent time at the big house! He's an alright guy. Lucky !"

Anakin stares. It is old Ernest T, his fellow inmate. This is the man who throws rocks in the plaza at the Imperial Military Headquarters several times a week. Anakin remembers him now. He waves discreetly at the crazy old protester.

_**'Pre-Marital Broken Syntax' **_

Luke and Mara do not notice Ernest T. screaming at Palpatine. The young newlyweds are relieved to be finally married and soak in the moment. During the past year, they went through 7 weeks of pre-marital counseling. The couple does not get to select the volunteer counselors advising them, they are totally surprised who they get. Luke recalls this dubious chapter in their lives leading up to the wedding. Their newly appointed counselor is less than thrilled.

"Oh, it's you two. Feeling I had of this moment."

"Yoda?"

"Surprised are you? Sit you two." The elderly Jedi Master settles into the small chair in the parish office. He takes one long and contemplative look at the young couple as he leans forward and rests his chin on the handle of his gimer stick. He lets out a heavy sigh before he speaks. "So, ready to be married you think?"

Luke looks into Mara's emerald green eyes and takes her hand.

"Yes. Yes we are, Master Yoda."

"Hmmm…and what about you, _'missy'_?"

"Oh, I'm ready for a committed relationship. We're both ready."

"Devote yourselves to the Jedi Church do you?"

"We are."

"Thoughts of family?"

"Oh, they're thrilled. Do you have any snacks in here?" She appears distracted and looks around the room for a serving tray. Yoda grumbles. It is obvious they do not understand the question.

"Talking about you I am. You must listen! Intend to raise a family do you?"

"We guess… not any time soon. We plan to travel and enjoy life. We can't have fun with little scurriers holding us back."

"Perhaps just as well no children you have."

Mara folds her arms and leans forward in her chair.

"What's that supposed to mean? Are you saying we would make bad parents?"

Luke tries to calm Mara.

"Relax. He has to ask these questions, Mar."

Yoda shakes his gimer stick at Mara.

"Your tongue you must watch young Jedi."

"Listen here you little old judgmental Muppet. You're not married. What gives you the right to give advice?"

"Silence, young lady!! Silence!" He repeatedly bangs his gimer stick on the table. The table wobbles and the gimer stick almost flies out of his hand. Mara continues to argue with him.

The remainder of the seven-week session goes much the same way. During an exercise in trust during the third week erupts into an argument between the couple. They leave the parish office in silence during the ride home. Mara is angry that Luke did not feel confident enough to let her catch him as he hung from a reactor shaft. They resolve their issues and complete this exercise by the end of the course. Yoda gives them his verdict.

"You have failed the course. Not ready for marriage."

Luke pleads.

"But, Master Yoda, I am ready...we're ready…" He looks to Mara as he corrects himself and speaks for both of them

Yoda remains steadfast on his decision.

"Recommend I cannot. You did not complete the training."

"But we've learned so much….we've come so far."

"No, no, no…"

Mara is incensed.

"What? We spent almost two months attending these ridiculous classes. I just made the last payment on my wedding dress. I don't get a refund. So don't tell me we can't get married. Luke, we'll get Master Adi Gallia to sign off on our counseling form. Let's get out of here." She tugs at Luke's arm. Luke hesitates.

"Uhm, Master Yoda has the form."

Yoda gives Mara a smug look as he taunts her with the paper on the table beside his chair. Mara seethes knowing that the old Jedi Master has the upper hand. He taps his hand on the form. Mara stands, folds her arms across her chest, and taps her foot. There is a standoff.

"I'm not leaving this office without a signature on that form."

There is a standoff. Luke pleads with her.

"Mar, don't antagonize him."

"We're going to stay here all night until he signs it, Lulu."

Yoda is about to stand his ground until she makes this threat. He quickly grabs the stylus, signs the form, and stamps it with the Jedi Council Seal.

"Okay. Okay! Here! Get married. Deserve each other you do. Go!" He looks up at Luke who is a bit embarrassed by Mara's behavior. Got your hands full you do, young Skywalker." He hands Luke the signed form. Luke is grateful

"Thank you for sponsoring us, Master Yoda. You are a wise man. We appreciate your patience and sage advice. Honest…we do."

"Humph! Too old for this nonsense I am. Youth today!"

Mara snatches the document out of Luke's hand. She checks for the signature and notarized stamp. With a sudden change of attitude, Mara leans over and kisses the Jedi master on the cheek.

"Oh, thank you! It was a pleasure, Master Yoda."

The couple backs up towards the door bowing reverently to the Jedi Master.

"May the Force be with you…need all the help you can get, you crazy kids."

What a magical moment that was.

Luke steps out to a waiting wedding speeder this late afternoon. There is still two hours of sunlight left before dusk sets in. He is happy.

_**'Moneyed to the Mob and the Five Fingers of Fate' **_

The families and guests make their way to the reception.

During the receiving line greeting, Fausto 'Fat Bantha 'Mostaccholi and his henchmen greet the family.

Aldo 'Big Sarlacc' Can'Apizi is so nervous that he forgets 'mob protocol' and steps ahead of Fat Bantha. Aldo bows then gives kisses Mara on the hand.

"Ahhh, our little Mara Costanza all grown up. Youze look Beauti-fool. Youze look like a fairy princess…_witout _da wings and all."

"Thank you, Uncle Aldo."

"Here's a little sumthin' for your wedding day. Imma gonna sing a little song for youze two later. "

Fat Bantha gives Aldo a cross look. Aldo steps aside.

"Oh, sorry boss."

Fat Bantha hands Mara a thick envelope containing a wad of cash wrapped in a rubber band. He gives her a kiss on both cheeks.

"Mara Rosanna Costanza, you look as fresh as a Naboo waterfall on a hot summers' day when we're all sweatin' bullets during an ambush at the toll booth on the Gallo Causeway."

This is an awkward moment as she tries to get a mental picture in her head of this bizarre analogy.

"Oh…How sweet, Uncle Fausto. You shouldn't have."

"If I had a _dawda_ like you, I would be so proud to give you away on the day of your wedding. I hope your first child is a masculine child."

Mara is not too sure about these compliments.

"Uhmmm…thank you?"

"Anyway, take this monetary gift to help you two kids get off to a fresh start."

"You're too generous."

Fat Bantha moves to Luke who has just spoken to Grand Moff Tarkin. Luke notices that the officer is actually smiling. It is a genuine smile and not one of his usual forced grimaces that makes him look constipated. Fat Bantha quickly grabs Luke's hand between his own beefy hands. The pinky ring is twice the size of Luke's wedding band. Luke feels the thickness of the envelope sandwiched between their hands.

"Luca, you have just made my little _Goddawda _a very happy young woman. I want to wish you both a happy marriage. Here's a little something for you and your bride. Perhaps….and this day may never come, you and your gorgeous bride will invite me into your home. I may also ask you for a favor…"

Fat Bantha suddenly feels the bristly hairs on the back of his neck. He is being watched. Anakin is greeting another guest in the reception line then suddenly glances in Fat Bantha's direction. The CoCo City Crime boss releases Luke's hand then smiles nervously. "No strings attached! Youze young people have a bright future ahead of youze."

"Thank you, Mr. Mostaccholi."

"You're welcome." Fat Bantha pats Luke's face.

Mara grabs the envelope from Luke and stuffs it into the white satin money sack. They receive several of these monetary gifts from each one of Fat Bantha's 'associates.

After some family holographs in the courtyard of the reception site, they sit down to dine on Naboo duck terrine, pressed shaak scaloppini, and grilled Okikuti Bass, tricolor fingerling potatoes, and baby spring vegetables shipped fresh from the Lars aqua farm. There are a few grumblings about the lack of family-style dishes at the affair. Roulf refuses to serve Mama Carmella's homemade Eopie meatballs, lasagna, or Utapaun cheese Manicotti to the guests. Fat Bantha laughs at the tiny food on his plate.

"What the hell is this? This is scurrier food! Is this whole family on a diet or sumthin?'"

At the end of the dinner course Vic Mara welcomes everyone and makes the first toast of the evening.

"Today we are honored to celebrate the marriage of our daughter Mara Rosanna Costanza to her groom, Luke. There are a lot of familiar faces out there, the five families from Kor Vella on Corellia, Tipoca City, Mos Eisley, CoCo Town, and Balosar… " He count each city on his fingers before he continues. "…and I want to tell you all how pleased we are to welcome you here today.

My little Mara is a lot of things. She's gorgeous, headstrong and knows how to get what she wants by any means necessary. So, it came as no surprise to her mother and me when Mara came home one day and said she met the boy she was going to marry. She was five years old then. After several suspensions and a restraining order, she was finally invited into the Skywalker home."

"Luke, we couldn't be more proud to have you as our son-in-law. You're a great young man, loyal, honest…everything we want for our daughter. You made Mara an offer she couldn't refuse. What a twist! You made her the happiest girl in the galaxy. Welcome to the family…all of them."

"At this time I'd like to propose a toast. Everyone, raise your glass to the bride and groom -- here's wishing you a lifetime of wedded bliss! Luc'anni del mille del centesimo! A thousand light-years!"

Anakin raises his glass as Vic Jade turns to him. Anakin sneaks a glance at his wife and rolls his eyes before leaving his seat to say a few words in honor of the wedded couple. He buttons his jacket and walks to the microphone.

"On this special day I am pleased to welcome our new daughter-in-law to the family. Mara, I couldn't have chosen a better bride for our son if I'd tried. We are so honored to have you in our family and look forward to many happy years together around our dinner table."

Li-An whispers to himself.

"Better order lots of food."

Anakin can hear him. He barely glances over at his young son then continues to speak.

"Luke…your mother and I are so proud of you. You're a wonderful son and we are truly blessed to be your parents. You have never disappointed us to the point of disowning you. Ha-ha."

This elicits nervous laughter from the audience. Anakin continues his speech.

"I wish you and your new bride Mara all the love and happiness in the galaxy. I know what it's like to spend your life with the woman you love, and I can tell you you're in for years of love and laughter. Sure, there can be some tough times…but they only serve to make the good ones sweeter and deepen the special bond that exists between husband and wife. Just don't piss her off.

Therefore, without further delay, I'd like to propose a toast to our son Luke and his beautiful wife Mara. May the Force be with you…always."

Obi-Wan raises his glass and gulps down his Caamas.

"Here, here…I'll drink to that."

After both fathers speak, Han stands and makes his way to the microphone. Anakin holds in hand over the mike as Han is about to start. He whispers to his nerfherder son-in-law.

"Don't say anything stupid."

"I know, I know. Relax. What could I possibly say that would cause offense?"

"I'm warning you."

Han looks back at Anakin with his classic smirk. Anakin returns to his seat. Han grabs a spoon from the table and taps on his champagne flute. The glass breaks. Anakin flashes a dirty look at his son-in-law. A waiter hurries over and gives Han a fresh glass of champagne.

"Oops! It always works in the movies. Excuse me everyone, if I could have your attention for a moment. I'd like to take this opportunity to say a few words about our bride and groom. I'm Han Solo, Luke's best man and longtime good friend and brother-in-law. You've just heard my father-in-law speak. What a funny guy, eh? Anyway, the reason we're here is for the newlyweds.

I've known Luke since he was a just a kid and gave him a ride home from Tatooine. He wasn't legal yet and couldn't even get into a bar. It was during that same time that I met his sister. She wasn't legal at the time either…being that they are twins and all……but we're married now so everything's copasetic. Anyway, I'm here to talk about Luke. He's everything anyone would want in a son or son-in-law. He's sincere; he's a good listener…better than I am. Hell, I'll tell you I'm listening but if you ever quiz me, I would fail miserably." He sees Anakin giving him a warning stare. "Ahem…Luke is sensitive and always considers for the feelings of others. He's one of the best Jedi Knights I know. He has a lot of patience…He used to tell me how Master Yoda complained he had no patience but I beg to differ…He has plenty of patience to put up with that wacky father of his. There's the big guy over there. Give him a hand."

He uses his index finger to give Anakin a one-fingered salute, pointing to the Dark Lord. Anakin barely flashes a smile. Han continues.

"Mara is a perfect match for Luke. Her wild-child lust for life and adventure, pairs nicely with Luke's practical and caring nature. He is a loyal and trusted friend. Listen, I could go all night telling you about what a great kid he is but I think everyone knows that already. In summation, I just want to say, Luke, good job, kid. Oh, Luke, in your honor, the groomsmen and I have arranged for bottles of your favorite Rodian soda at each table. So, if everyone would please open your pop bottles and let's raise them to the groom and his lovely bride."

Obi-Wan takes a gulp from his glass, chases the liquor down with the champagne then raises his unopened bottle of Rodian soda.

"I'll drink to that!"

Luke stands, and shakes hands with Han before walking up to the microphone. Han heads back to his seat. Anakin grabs Han by the hand and whispers.

"Why don't you sit down before you fall down, funny man?"

Han quickly sits while Luke begins his speech.

"_Your Royal Majesty Queen of Naboo, Supreme Chancellor Valorum, Members of the Galactic Senate, Jedi High Council, Honored guests, family and friends. Thank you all for coming today to share this wonderful moment with Mara and me. Thank you Mr. Jade, Han, and you, Father for your inspiring words._

_Mr. and Mrs. Jade, thank you for welcoming me into your home. During each visit, you and your family have showered me with warmth and great hospitality. There is no shortage of hugs or food in the Jade household. You have never allowed me to leave your house empty-handed or with a empty stomach._

_Mother and Father, Han, and dear Leia, you have always been a fantastic support for me, and now also for Mara. We've spent many long evenings talking and discussing over the last year. This has taught me a lot and given me a good feeling. Although it has been tough at times, I feel that it has helped us grow. You are all strong, tolerant people with a great capacity for love. The way you have accepted Mara has been wonderful. Thank you for all your support and care._

_I would also like to thank my godfather Ben Kenobi, Master Yoda, and the entire Jedi Council. Thank you for your tireless efforts and dedication. Master Yoda, I believe you were at your wits end with us; but rest assured, we have been listening. You have provided invaluable guidance to us._

_Dearest Mara, you are the light of my life. Han is right. We are a perfect match. Your free spirit and candid voice is refreshing. Sometimes your candidness gets you into trouble. You have the nerve to say things I only think about saying. You can be impulsive, hurtful, and stubborn, but I would never want you to change. I am never angry with you for long because, at the end of the day, we always laugh and move on to things that matter in our lives. You are funny and have a great appetite for a good joke and great food. You are well meaning, courageous, and have a big heart. This is what makes you unique. It makes you special and that is why I love you. I am proud to call you my wife. And now I would like to propose a toast to the bride."_

Obi-Wan applauds loudly. The rest of the room fills with applause. The Jedi Master stands.

"Well done, Master Luke! Well done indeed!" He summons the waiter over. "Barkeep, another round for our guests. You could leave a bottle here."

He points to a spot on the table. The waiter complies with the request and sets an expensive bottle of Chateau Bela Vistal Champagne in front of the Jedi Master. The champagne is a gift from Han's parents; six cases of the 'liquid gold' delivered for the wedding.

_**'The First Dance…Last Chance' **_

After the speeches, M.C. Jonni Faytonni steps onto the stage in front of the orchestra. The music fades and everyone is quiet once more.

"Good evening, families, guests, and wedding crashers. Welcome to the Jade-Skywalker wedding. Let's introduce the proud parents once again, folks. Give them a round of thunderous applause….Maggie, Vic, Anakin and Isabel. Didn't they do a fab job of raising these two kids?…and how about the grandparents. I'm sure they offered great words of wisdom to Luke and Mara. And the brides' grandparents, Giaccamo and Mama Carmella Jade and Mr.Danny 'The Dewback' Bundino and his wife Rita. The groom's grandparents, Professor Emeritus at Theed University, and his lovely wife Jobal. Aren't they a great looking couple?"

Someone steps up onto the stage and whispers something. Jonni covers the mike as he listens. He takes a hastily scribbled note and then speaks into the mike as he tries to read it. "It's been brought to my attention that the paternal grandfather of the groom is here. Let's here it for… Dumtoos Palpadopolous. Okay, let's give a hand to the bridesmaids, groomsmen and the little flower girls and pageboys. Alright, at this moment the newlyweds will walk onto the dance floor and dance as man and wife."

Jonni introduces the first performer. The music builds.

"Here to perform for them, all the way from the Mos Eisley Sands Casino and Lounge is Aldo Can'Apizi!"

Aldo is wearing a tuxedo with a satin powder blue ruffled shirt. His backup chorus of two men and two women are dressed in blue satin as well.

"Good evening, everybody! What a beautiful day and a great wedding. What a beauti-fool day in the neighborhood…on this day of your wedding." He talks through the first two lines of the song.

_In __Corellia __where love is king _

_When a Jedi boy meets a Jedi Girl, here's what they say_

The guests applaud as Luke takes Mara by the hand and leads her onto the dance floor. Aldo begins to sing:

_When __two suns__ hits your eye like a big pizza pie _

_That's amore_

_When the __death star __seems to shine like you've had too much wine_

_That's amore_

_When the carbon room clangs like a great symphony_

_That's amore_

_Pipes will fly ting-a-ling-a-crash, ting-a-ling-a-crash_

_And you'll sing "What the Hella "_

_Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay_

_Like a gay Chandrila_

_When the stars make you drool just like a pasta __kaadu_

_That's amore_

_When you dance to the beat down a Cloud City street _

_You're in love_

_When you walk in a dream but you know you're not_

_Dreaming signore_

_Scuzza me, but you see, back in old __Corelli_

_That's amore_

The parents join them on the dance floor. Mara dances with her father and Luke dances with his new mother-in-law. They switch partners. Anakin dances with Mara. Isabel dances with Luke.

"So, I hear you and your father had the big 'talk earlier today. How did it go?"

"How do you think it went?" They giggle.

"Well, did you learn anything?"

"I learned that my father is as neurotic as ever; otherwise, I didn't learn a darned thing."

They have a good laugh before Vic Jade cuts in to dance with her. Anakin takes a deep breath before facing off with Maggie Jade.

"Mrs. Jade, may I have this dance?"

"Oh, you sure can. We're family. You are such a good dancer. Do you Rumba or do the Mos Eisley Mambo?"

"No, I can't say I have. Isn't this a waltz?"

"Wait till the music changes. I can show you some steps." Maggie places her hand on his hip and rests her head on his shoulder. "I'm going to turn you into a dancing machine before the night is through."

"Oh…I can't wait." He sees Han attempting to cross the dance floor to get to Leia. Anakin quickly grabs onto his son-in-laws' wrist. "What was that, Han? You want to cut in? Of course! Maggie, you're a popular woman this evening." He slaps Han on the back and then quickly disappears. Aldo is still singing. The backup singers perform the chorus.

_When the big Endor moon hits you __smack__ in the eye _

_That's amore_

_(That's amore)_

_When the death star seems to shine like you've had too much wine_

_That's amore_

_(That's amore)_

_Church bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling_

_And you'll sing "Vita bella"_

_Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay_

_Like a gay Chandrila_

_(Lucky fella)_

_When the stars make you drool just like a pasta __kaadu_

_That's amore_

_When you dance to the beat down a Cloud City street_

_You're in love_

_When you walk in a dream but you know you're not_

_Dreaming signore_

_Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Corelli_

_That's amore_

_(Amore)_

_That's amore_

The dance floor is full now. Luke is dancing with his grandmother. Jobal is beaming as she dances with her only grandson.

_**'I Could Have Danced All Night…but Then You Walked Onto the Dance Floor'**_

"Luke, you've grown into a fine young man, and you're not a bad dancer either. You know that your grandfather and I are proud of you."

"I know, Oma."

"Promise me one thing."

"Of course, Oma. What is it?"

"Just because you've married into another family doesn't mean you forget you still have a family on Naboo."

"Oh, I'm not going anywhere. But I promise that Mara and I will visit often."

"We adore Mara."

"She likes you and Opa. She didn't mean it when she called you the judgmental old folks down under."

"And your grandfather didn't mean it when he said you were marrying into the mob and it would destroy your career."

"I know. The things people say in the heat of the moment."

Anakin meanwhile escapes the clutches of Maggie Jade long enough to dance with his daughters, first Leia and then Ana-Lena. Anakin twirls Ana-Lena on the dance floor.

"You're my favorite dance partner, Daddy."

"And you're mine, sweet pea."

Roulf summons the servants to bring out the wedding cake. Théo snaps his fingers and the music changes. The eight-tier wedding cake is a delectable confection of rum-soaked tropical fruit between layers of delicate white cake and praline mousse. The fondant icing covers the elaborate replica of Theed palace with realistic Naboo waterfalls pouring down the sides. The Theed crest and Jedi emblem are set in the spun sugar tiles on the base. One can look in and see the palace gardens, courtyard and throne room. Luke and Mara cut into the cake using a knife made especially for them. After cheers from the guests, the servers remove the cake and begin serving it. The music picks up again. The guests finish their cake and return to the dance floor.

Anakin dances with Isabel while Obi-Wan bounces Kris on his lap. Luke walks over to Aunt Bunny.

"Aunt Bunny, may I have this dance?"

"Luke, sugar, I thought you'd never ask. I would be honored." They take to the dance floor. Luke recalls his childhood during his visits to Obi-Wan. Aunt Bunny would dance with him. He was used to looking up at her bust line back then. Today they are eye-to-eye. Childhood had its perks.

Meanwhile, Mara looks over at the family table. She sees her former mentor sitting alone. She rolls her eyes then takes a deep breath before walking over to him.

"So, you want to dance or what?"

Palpatine looks up at her and smiles.

"Why, Mara, it would be an honor. How sweet of you to ask. I'm quite the dancer you know."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, gramps, let's get this over with. Watch where you place your clammy old hands."

Leia dances with her grandfather.

"Opa, you're quite the dancer this evening."

"Your grandmother and I took a ballroom dance class during our holiday cruise to Yavin 4."

"Oh, you and Oma are just a couple of wild teenagers, aren't you?"

"Your grandmother and I enjoy a good time. We may as well go on vacation. You and Han haven't given us any great-grandchildren to fuss over. We've got to do something after retirement."

"Oh, here we go. I refuse to discuss this with you."

"Fine, fine. I'll drop the subject."

"Thank you."

Mara is on the dance floor with Professor Higgins. He wastes no time expressing his opinion.

"My, we have come a long way. My work is complete. You are truly the fairest lady on the dance floor this evening."

"Why thank you, Professor. I'm flattered."

"I want you to remember everything I taught you."

"Are you serious? I just needed to make it to my wedding day."

"My, dear child, I did not spend all those months with you to turn you into a refined young woman for just one day."

"Oops. Well, there's a big misunderstanding. Whoa, look at the time. I have to toss the bouquet. Gotta go."

Mara makes a quick exit. She runs up to the balcony and prepares to toss the bouquet. Sena Shan catches it thinking one of Luke's groomsmen will eventually catch the garter.

Meanwhile, Alex, Li-An and the other younglings play a game of tag. Ana-Lena runs around the tables. Her floral headpiece daggles precariously from a lock of her hair. Nana Ouisanne is chatting with Chancellor Valorum, Uli Jensen and Master Nejaa Halcyon. She wags her finger at the children but they continue playing running around and crawling under the tables. Cort Needa hangs with Li-An and Ryoo's son most of the evening. Isabel is in another group with Professor Higgins and Sabrina Solo. Anakin takes Nurse Ratched onto the dance floor.

"Mildred, you're pretty light on your feet. How long did it take for the professor to teach you to dance?"

"I'll have you know, I have always been an excellent dancer, Mr. Skywalker."

"What's that mean? You haven't broken anyone's foot yet with those white nurse's clogs?" He looks down. "Oh, look, you've got normal shoes."

"I was just about to say something nice to you but now you've ruined the moment."

"Sticks and stones, Mildred."

"I can't believe your wife hasn't pushed you downs a flight of stairs yet."

"What can I say? She likes having me around."

"She tucks you in at night and fluffs your pillow?"

"Yes, she does."

"You know she's only practicing so she can smother you with it later."

"Now that Professor Higgins is done with Mara, when is he going give you a makeover?"

"He sees no need to 'make me over'."

"Lost cause, eh?"

"Anakin, you know you want to say something nice about me. Go ahead."

"Okay, well, you do look less matronly this evening."

"How often do you cover your gray?"

"I'll have you know, I don't have a speck of gray hair." As they turn on the dance floor, Anakin steals a peek in one of the floor-length ballroom mirrors. Mildred smiles broadly.

"Leia said you would fall for that one. You are a vain one, aren't you?"

"I've had enough of you. I see someone I'd rather dance with more. Go back to your husband."

Han walks over to them.

"Mrs. Higgins, you're looking radiant tonight."

Anakin gets in one last barb as he stops dancing.

"Must be the after-effects of the reactor shaft exposure on Bespin.

Mildred and Han pretend not to hear the remark. Han kisses Mildred on the hand.

"May I cut in?"

Mildred Higgins smiles.

"Yes you may. Thank you, Han. Your father-in-law could learn a thing or two from you. You are such a fine upstanding gentleman."

"I know how to charm the ladies."

Anakin laughs then walks over to where his wife is chatting with Uli and Gladys Jensen. He bows politely.

"Mr. Jensen, may I have the pleasure of this dance with your lovely young date?"

"Off course you may."

"Thank you." He smiles at Gladys who rolls her eyes and blushes.

"Oh, Anakin, you smooth talker."

"I do try. Did I ever tell you that blue is the perfect color for you?"

"Oh, stop! You do go on!"

"It's true."

"Thank you for the lovely corsage. It was a nice surprise."

"Let's show these people some real dancing."

Anakin whirls Gladys around the floor then dips her. Leia is standing with Pooja, Ryoo and a few friends as they what her father fox trot. They are all delightfully amused. A lock of white hair falls over the right lens of Gladys' spectacles.

Elan goes to the buffet table and fills his plate with sweets. He has to weave through the crowd of bachelors gathering to catch the garter.

Roulf announces the garter toss.

"Alright, everybody. The groom will toss the brauts garter to all the single groomsmen."

Jonni Faytonni translates.

"Folks, it's time to toss the garter. Let's get this party started. Where's our groom?"

Luke prepares to toss the garter. It lands on Elan's dessert plate. An ominous hush fills the room. He makes his way to the front of the crowd. Sena Shan is sitting in a chair. With her legs crossed. When she sees who has the garter her mouth drops open. She cringes and closes her eyes as Elan attempts to slip the garter on her leg. The groomsmen laugh. Elan kneels before her as he speaks in his creepy little voice.

"Hello, fair Jedi maiden."

Sena is repulsed.

"Eww…just hurry up!"

"So, you wanna go out sometime?"

"As if! Go away!"

Sena stands and shoves Elan out of the way. She leaves the room. Elan thinks for a moment. He is determined to pursue his 'lady fair'.

"Hey, wait up! We're destined to be together."

Jonni Faytonni makes an announcement as the music builds up.

"Okay folks, get ready, as a request from the bride and groom, we're about to start the conga line.

Obi-Wan grabs his drink and joins in the conga line. Luke, Mara, and Aunt Bunny are near the front of the line. Isabel takes Kris for a walk in the garden. It is past his bedtime and there is a quiet spot for them to sit. Anakin is laughing as Elan chases Sena Shan around the ballroom. Sabrina Solo joins the line with Admiral Motti. Anakin sees the surprise on Motti's face.

"Ah-ha-ha! This is great!"

Someone grabs Anakin by the hand.

"Anakin, join us!"

"God, no!"

"Come on, you silly man. Don't tell me you're bashful."

Maggie Jade pulls Anakin into the Conga Line. He looks around the room for his wife. Jonni sings.

_When the Yavin jungle breezes blow_

_And the tom tom's beating low_

_And the conga starts to play its magic wildly_

_There's a dance that we can do_

_But it's not just me and you_

_Everybody grab a friend_

_And get behind me_

_Everybody jump into the conga line_

_(Conga line)_

_Cause you know I'm in the mood to conga line_

_(Conga line)_

_While the bongo beats a song in bongo time_

_(Conga line)_

_Everywhere from here to Kashyyyk it's conga time_

_Felucia and Kamino there's a conga line_

_Bespin and Endor there's a conga line_

_Anyplace you go, it's conga time_

_And when you dance, it's funny_

_But your feet know what to do_

_Everybody jump into the Yavin conga line_

_(Come on)_

_Cause you know I'm in the mood to conga line_

_(Follow me)_

_While the bongo beats a song in bongo time_

_(That's the way)_

_Gungans and Wookies in the conga line_

_Everybody jump into the conga line!_

Jar-Jar winds up at the head of the line.

"Meesa conga king! Meesa love conga dance. Hey, born again evil emperor, jump in da conga line!"

"No, no, Jar-Jar. I'll sit this one out."

"Come on! Yoosa dance!" Jar-Jar almost pulls Palpatine's arm out of it's socket as he pulls him into the conga line. He winds up behind Edith from accounting at the Imperial Headquarters. He used to torment her when she would inquire about his travel expenses. She is now VP of Finance courtesy of Gladys. Palpatine gives her one of his silly smiles when he has behaved badly. This is the year to take on a new attitude. He does not mind the conga line after all.

Isabel returns to find her husband on the Conga line. Maggie Jade has her hand on his hips. Anakin looks horrified. Isabel is standing beside Captain Needa. They are laughing. Anakin finally gets out of the line, which has since grown as long as a space slug. The line weaves into the adjoining room and back again. He adjusts his jacket and walks over to her Isabel. He looks harried.

"You thought that was funny?"

"It was hilarious. You looked adorable."

"Laugh it up."

"Admit it, Anakin, you enjoyed it."

"It was alright. Obi-Wan hasn't spilled one drop since he joined that ridiculous line dance."

Ana-Lena hurries over to her father and takes his hand.

"Daddy, come on, they're doing the chicken dance. Hurry; let's get a spot on the floor. Dance with me."

Isabel looks at Anakin and smiles as she cradles the baby.

"Go dance with your daughter."

"I'll take the baby, you dance with her. I just escaped from the conga line from hell."

"She wants to dance with her father. Besides, I don't want to wake up the baby. Go. You'll have fun."

Anakin backs away and joins his daughter on the dance floor. He points his finger at his wife. Anakin is one of the few adults on the dance floor flapping his elbows like a Boga. Jar-Jar is doing the chicken dance with them. Pooja and Ryoo's children are also enjoying this moment on the dance floor. Jar-Jar gives Anakin dance instructions.

"Ani, look! Do whatsa weesa do! Flap your arms lika meesa!"

Ana-Lena and the other children help.

"Now make a tail feather with your hands! Shake your butt. Like this, Daddy. Look. Gramp Palp's is doing it."

"I'm not Gramp Palps. He looks like a chicken anyway."

"But I want to win the prize."

"Prize?"

Not wanting to lose at anything or seeing his child disappointed, Anakin becomes a quick learner.

(boy) I'm a rooster on the farm

Cock-a-doodle-doodle-doo

(girl) I'm a happy little hen

Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck

cluck, cluck, cluck

(boy) There's a comb on my head

Cock-a-doodle-doodle-doo

(girl) I can lay you many eggs

Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck

cluck, cluck, cluck

(sing la, la, la... when it comes to the middle

part of the song)

(both) We live in a chicken coop

(boy) Cock-a-doodle-doodle-doo

(both) On a big and happy farm

(boy) Cock-a-doodle-doodle-doo

(boy) I say Cock-a-doodle-doodle-doo

(girl) I say cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck

(both) We can do the chicken dance

I know you'll like it too.

Jonni Faytonni presents the trophy for best pair to Ana-Lena and her father. Everyone has a good laugh. Admiral Motti and family were about to leave before the dance but decide to stick around. Leia sits at a table close to the dance floor with Han and Mara. They have a good laugh. Anakin walks over to his wife holding the trophy.

"You owe me big time."

"You should be honored to do this at your son's wedding."

"I need a vacation."

"I know, sweetie. Nice trophy. "

"I deserved it. If anyone laughs at me back at headquarters…."

"No one will laugh."

Anakin looks at Threepio. Threepio looks back at his master.

"Oh dear! I think I have a slight hiccup. If you don't mind, sir, I think I will go in the corner and shut down for a bit."

Jonni Faytonni makes another announcement.

Okay, folks, the bride's grandfather would like to sing a song with Aldo and their uncle Paulie. Take it away, Papa Giaccamo.

Papa Giaccamo grabs the mike and begins to sing along with Uncle Paulie amid protests from Maggie Jade's Aunts Connie and Gina. Nothing can stop the two men now. Papa Giaccamo detaches his portable oxygen pack and gets another wind to keep singing. The next song is fast-paced. He quickly gasps for air again. Leia, Han, Nakai, and Li-An laugh hysterically as the two men sing. Threepio turns to Artoo.

"My word! This Jade family is a lively bunch, Artoo!"

Everyone claps along to the music.

_C'e la luna mezz'o mare  
Mamma mia me __Kamino maritar,  
Figghia mia, a cu te dari  
Mamma mia pensaci tu. _

_O Mam__-ma, Oki-ku-ti baccala,O Mam-ma Oki-ku-ti baccala. _

_If you marry a Tatooine farmer __  
__He may come, he may go_

_He will plow the golden sand __  
__Iffa you lika thata life__  
__My dear daughter take his hand._

_O Mamma, Oki-ku-ti baccala,O Mamma Oki-ku-ti baccala_

Aunt Carmella waves for her elderly father to leave the stage.

"Papa Giaccamo, enough singing now, you're starting to turn blue."

Papa Giaccamo is also hard of hearing.

"What? You wanna hear the Blu song? Okay, here we go. One-a two-a three-a four…"

_Volare, oh oh,  
cantare, oh oh oh oh.  
Nel blu di planet di blu,  
felice di Lama Su._

_Volare, oh, oh!_

_Cantare, oh, oh, oh, oh!_

_Let's fly way up in the clouds_

_Away from the Coruscant crowds_

_We can sing in the glow of a starship that I know of_

_Where lovers enjoy peace of mind_

_Let us leave the confusion and all disillusion behind_

_Just like boga feathers, a rainbow together we'll find_

_Volare, oh, oh!_

_Cantare, oh, oh, oh, oh!_

_No wonder my happy heart sings_

_Your love has given me wings_

"Everybody sing! Come on! Wheresa my beautiful wife Carmella?"

"I'mma down here, Giaccamo!"

"You no hate me no more?"

"No, Giaccamo. Yooa stilla the love ofa my life."

Joey Bagadonats helps to lift the elderly Mama Carmella onto the stage to be with her wayward husband. His much younger mistress sits alone at a table. Professor Solo raises his glass to the couple then sees someone from the corner of his eye. He discreetly makes his way over to a table where Papa Giaccamo's blonde goomah sits alone. He sits beside her. Soon, the all the guests join in on the sing-along. The music fades then transitions into a beautiful aria. Papa Giaccamo calls the two families to join him on stage as a sign of unity. Anakin, Isabel, Maggie, Vic, Luke, and Mara gather on stage in front of the orchestra. They sing softly. All animosity and mistrust has faded. It is time to celebrate a marriage with dancing and laughter.

_Ah, tut-ti con__-te-n-ti _

_sa-re-mo co-sì  
sa-re-mo co-sì_

The tempo picks up and the song turns lively

_Questo giorno di tormenti,  
di capricci, e di follia,  
in contenti e in allegria  
solo amor può terminar.  
Sposi, amici, al ballo, al gioco,  
alle mine date foco!  
Ed al suon di lieta marcia  
corriam tutti a festeggiar!_

The ride home is pleasant. Thank goodness, he had the Lobot chauffeur till morning. This allowed Anakin to sit back in the plush seating and hold Ana-Lena in his lap. She is already deep in her dreams. The trophy they had won together is in the seat directly across from where he sits. How much humiliation will he endure for the next thirteen years?

A faint smile creeps across his face.. He is looking forward to more of these moments. This is not to say he won't complain about them. He is certain that Li-An and Alex will test his patience. As the five older children become more independent and gradually drift away from home, he will have more bonding time with Kris. Anakin needs to ride someone's ass after the others leave home. For now, this moment is perfect. Tomorrow will be on a ship bound for a well-deserved tropical holiday.

Li-An is anxious to use his new surfboard, a gift from Luke. Alex will use his gift, scuba gear to look at all the beautiful fishes in the sea and when he is done, he wants to work on building the biggest sandcastle ever. Ana-Lena will wear her new swimsuit and then go hula dancing with her mother. Krizstan will play in the sand under an umbrella with his father. He will wear his oversized _'Tuskin' Rayders'_ t-shirt. It will barely cover his tiny pink sand-covered bum. Isabel will look as beautiful as ever as she keeps a watchful eye on everyone. Anakin will play with Kris between catnaps on the beach chaise. Anakin will breathe in the sweet ocean breeze while lying back thinking peaceful thoughts.

Anakin was glad to have gotten a few minutes alone with Luke before the wedding festivities ended. He It was perfect timing before the newlyweds got their big send-off for their honeymoon.

"Hey, Dad..."

Anakin is standing in the doorway of the garden. He turns around, happy to see his son. They see Sena Shan running pass them. The two men look at one another and laugh. Elan Sleazebaggano flies pass them in hot pursuit of Sena.

"Oh, hi. Some night, eh?"

"Did you have a good time tonight?"

"Yes, actually, it was a blast."

"You do a mean chicken dance."

"Yeah...thanks for bringing that up."

"You were having fun on the dance floor. Everyone loved that about you. Mom is showing off your trophy."

"Well, yeah! I deserved it. I still have skills on the dance floor."

"You know you have to share that with Ana-Le."

"Yeah...she's been hanging around Leia too much. She's gotten pushy lately. I hope she finds a nice young man to marry. I don't think I'll rest for the next thirteen years."

"She's going to marry a great guy. You'll love him. I promise."

"You know, I believe you."

"So, you're going to stop stressing over it?"

"No." He laughs.

They hear some cheering going on inside. They turn for a moment. Luke shrugs.

"Obi-Wan and Professor Solo trying to drink each other under the table. Oh-oh, Obi-Wan's on the move. Here he comes."

**_'Galaxy Hills Jedi' _**

The old Jedi Master walks over the Anakin and Luke. He is carrying a carton of something. Anakin looks at the label then smiles at his freeloading former master.

"Door prize, Obi-Wan?"

Obi-Wan is almost caressing the case of expensive champagne. He leans in and whispers as if it is some state secret.

"Your son gave it to me...for safe keeping while he's away on his honeymoon." He turns and winks back at Luke. Luke considers the champagne as a gift to his godfather. He does not expect to see that case ever again unless to hold some of Obi-Wan's old junk. The champagne will not go to waste.

"Enjoy it, Ben."

"Thanks, Luke." He pats Anakin on the shoulder. "Luke, did I tell you your old man was best star-pilot in the galaxy, and a cunning warrior?...still is! And he's a good friend. Which reminds me..."

Obi-Wan reaches into one of the deep pockets of his formal Jedi robe. He presents Luke with a silver cardboard tube, about the length of a lightsaber handle. Anakin is about to flip out if Obi-Wan has another one of his old lightsabers. Luke unties the ribbon and removes the cap off one end. He pulls out a rolled up document. Obi-Wan explains.

"I have something here for you. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough."

Luke opens the document.

"This is the deed to your hut...Ben..."

"And the 427 acres of the surrounding area from the edge of the Jundland Wastes to the Dune Sea."

"But, it's your vacation home. I couldn't take your home."

"Of course you aren't. You won't get...not yet it until I'm gone. It's prime beachfront property."

"But you can't die."

"Who said anything about dying?"

"Oh." Luke and his father look at each other. It is an awkward albeit humorous moment. Anakin almost laughs. "So, Uncle Ben, there's a lot of land here."

"I know what you're thinking, Luke, 'Why did that crazy old fool buy all that useless land?' That's what your uncle thought but I sensed this land was rich in minerals and fresh water caves. Beneath all that sand lays vast Krayt dragon fossil fuel deposits."

"Ooooh...so that's how you can afford to live in the Galaxy Hills Condos."

Anakin thinks for a moment. He is suddenly annoyed.

"Hey! If you're so well off, why have you been sponging off of me for the past twenty years?"

"Oh... _'Force'_ of habit. Ha-ha-ha!...Ahem..."

"Very funny."

_The Legend of Ol' Ben_

_Come and listen to a story about a man named Ben_

_A poor Jedi hermit, barely kept himself fed,_

_Then one day he aimed his lightsaber at some food,_

_And up from the ground came a bubblin' crude._

_Oil that is, black gold, Tatooine tea._

_Well the first thing you know ol' Ben's a millionaire,_

_Jinn-Ghost said, 'Ben , move away from there!'_

_Said Coruscant City is the place you ought to be_

_So he loaded up the ship and moved to Galaxy._

_Hills, that is_

_Jedi reflecting pools, striptease stars_

_The Galaxy Hills Jedi_

Obi-Wan gives Luke a hug.

"Take care, Luke. See you when you get back."

"Okay, Uncle Ben."

"I'm going to load this bubbly into the speeder. Bunny's got the motor running. Anakin, May the Force be with you, my friend."

"May the Force be with you, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan whistles and heads out of the courtyard to the parking bay. Anakin and Luke are alone again. Mara appears. Anakin goes over to her.

"Mara, you were beautiful today. Welcome to the family. Call me 'Dad'."

"Dad." She giggles then they exchange a warm embrace. "Thank you for everything."

"You're welcome."

"I'm going to go say goodbye to my parents. I think you and Luke need some more time to chat before we leave."

She disappears inside. Luke takes a few steps closer to his father.

"So.."

"So...you're a married man now. She's a wonderful. You've done good, son."

"I owe it all to you, Dad."

"I'm proud of you."

"I know you are. Hey, we'll be over for Saturday game night and Sunday brunch...probably dinner a few times a week. Mara's not a kitchen person you know."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot, I'm not losing a son, I'm gaining another mouth to feed."

"She loves our family. Isabel's been great to her. Leia too. Well...We have to go. She can't wait to officially boss me around."

"You're on your own now. Your ball and chain awaits."

"I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, son."

The two hug for what seems like light-years. Anakin does not want to release his firstborn. He takes a deep breath and lets him go. Luke takes a few steps back and disappears inside. The crowd waves goodbye.

There is a soft breeze rustling through the trees. Anakin looks around. He thought he had some visitors he had not seen for quite some time. He misses them. There was no one to disrupt the wedding this year. She smells the sweet scent of roses and freesia. Anakin turns. It is Isabel.

"Hello, dancing King."

"Hi. Where's Kris? He's been stuck to you like Velcro for most of the evening."

"Gladys has him. So, how are you doing?"

"Good...good. I'm fine...everything is fine. How are you?"

"I'm great. You miss Luke already don't you?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"It's normal. I miss him too." Anakin holds his wife close. He cries quietly in her arms. She closes the door and they sit on the marble bench in the courtyard. There are lemon tree plants around them. Stars fill the evening sky. Anakin feels the breeze again and looks up at the millions of twinkling lights. He dries his eyes. Isabel smiles. "Ready?"

"Yes, I'm ready to go now."

The doors open and they disappear inside the reception room. Anakin looks over his shoulder once more then greets his children as the hurry over to him.


	155. Chapter 155 EPILOGUE Part 1

Working title: To Dream…to cheat death

_EPILOGUE - Part 1_

'_The West Wing'_

Coruscant Day – Coruscant University Hospital ICU

The long corridor on the seventh floor looks cheerful and bright. The soft pink walls stop every ten to twenty feet making way for glass-enclosed rooms with matching sliding doors. Most rooms occupy up to four patients each while the rest hold only one to two patients. Sterile white curtains on the interior of each room are usually open allowing staff and visitors to view the patient inside them. There are several rooms across the hall adjacent to the nurses' station.

While some of the families prefer privacy to stand vigil and grieve for their loved ones, other families do not mind the open curtains. A visitor can get a full view of patients in the other rooms. There is one room, however, where the drapes remain drawn around the clock for the past month. Passersby, with the exception of authorized staff, have never seen the occupant. He sleeps alone in a two-patient room. It now holds only one bed. For two weeks since his arrival, the titanium plate on the wall outside his room reads:

Room: 716

Patient# 620C

Name: (Blank)

The room is across from the nurses' station. The nurse's station has a staff of twelve people at any given time. A nutritionist, three registered nurses, 4 nurses aids, one on-call physician, a physical therapy droid, and a respiratory specialist. The doctors make their rounds once in the morning before breakfast and then again after dinner. No one seems to be in much of a hurry to finish a meal. One doctor says to his colleague as he savors his two eggs, three Eopie bacon strips, whole-wheat toast, orange juice, and second cup of coffee in the private dining room_, "What's the hurry? They're not going anywhere."_

An ICU staff break area is located adjacent to the chart rack on the far side of the nurse's station. The nurses' aides decide place a makeshift sign over the entrance of the break room:

'Private Break room – For the little People'.

If the big shot docs can have their own private dining room then the peons can have theirs. Tiny is proud of his handiwork. The nurses think it is silly but tolerate it as long as the two rotund nurses' aides complete their tasks for the day. One nurse is not so forgiving. She rips up the sign and tosses it into the laundry hamper. Tomo has a new sign at the ready. If 'Nurse Ratched' so much as breathes on it, he swears it will be the last thing she does.

A large plasma hovers over the station where, at any given time, a different entertainment program is playing. A series of smaller plasmas surround the big one. Each of the smaller models corresponds to a patient on the floor. A ticker crawls across the bottom of the screen giving the staff real-time vital statistics on each patient.

Classical music filters into the ICU rooms to drown out the sounds of the various life support machines churning and pumping throughout the wing. The music is more for the benefit of the occupants to give them some comfort, whether alert or sedated. The constant droning, hissing, and beeping of the medical equipment should not be the last thing they hear before dying. Without the filtered music, the ICU has all the charm of a Geonosian droid factory.

When a patient is in distress or passes on into the next life, the big plasma automatically powers off much to the disappointment of the staff congregating in the break room. Each staffer must respond to the alarm of the corresponding room. Even the 'Do Not Resuscitate' patients get an alarm code. It is 'all hands on deck.' The Coruscant ICU is an efficiently run 'ship.' The chart for patient number 620C reads 'DNR'. The bright yellow text crawls across the display screen if his chart. There are no changes. They like him the best. He sleeps 80 of the time. There is nary a peep out of him and no pesky relatives to nag them about getting him extra blankets or giving him more medicine.

Most other times, the shift passes without incident. There is lots of activity here despite the less than ideal surroundings and impending death. The orderlies spend most of their time watching the latest soap operas and game shows or playing a game of Sabacc. Sometimes a feature holo-flick may fit the bill if things get really dull. There was not much else for the staff to do, just wait for people to die. The staff is supposed to wear ear caps so as not to disturb the patients. Tomo, one of the nurses' aids does not believe the listening to the plasma causes any undue distress to the patients. Patient 620C hears everything. Tomo snaps open a can of grape Rodian soda and tilt back his head.

One nurse does not appreciate his cavalier attitude. She feels a little respect is in order. Tomo shrugs his shoulders.

"I never heard a complaint. They're out of it anyway. Heheheh" He guzzles down the sweet fizzy beverage. He immediately sits up and goes into a convulsive coughing fit.

Some of the fluorescent purple beverage stains his regulation white t-shirt and orderly's jacket. Tomo's partner-in-crime, Tiny, rushes to his rescue. He gives him three hard whacks on the back while holding a half-eaten _'Tatooine Hero'_ sandwich with the other hand.

"You need to slow down. You eat too fast."

"I wasn't eating, I was drinking. My shirt collar might be too tight."

"Maybe you need to cut down on the snacks." Tiny resumes feasting on his overstuffed sandwich, which consists of Jundland cheese, Eopie ham, Bantha salami, with the works. The creamy Mos Eisley dressing oozes from the roll. He holds the sandwich as if it is about to escape his gaping mouth. He catches the flavorful lettuce and thinly sliced onions that fall from the sides. Tomo watches him and finally responds his colleague's remarks.

"You're the same size as I am."

"I wear a double XL shirt. You wear a triple XL."

"I could fit into a double if I wanted."

"Yeah, right."

Tiny bites into his hero sandwich. He sees a red light flash on the monitor for room 716.

"We gotta turn him over in a while."

Tomo keeps his eyes on the plasma and pops a Sullustan Dragon roll into his mouth. He catches a stray kernel of rice with his chopsticks and pops it into his mouth.

"I gotta change my shirt first."

The patient 620C in room 716 sleeps peacefully.

During the past several weeks, the ICU has not lost one patient. This is unusual since the majority of the patients were only expected to live from a few days to two weeks at most. Ever since patient 620C's arrival, no one is dying. The condition of every patient on the floor is listed as stable.

One family in room 717 is informed that their critically ill family member has been in the care of the ICU for nearly six months. They will need to transfer her to Sunny Valley Long-Term Care Facility. It seems as if the dying are going on strike. They are not moving on to the great beyond in an expeditious fashion.

The family spirits are buoyed nonetheless. They bring in fresh home-cooked food to share with the staff. Trays of bubbling hot pasta and sweet desserts cover the break room table and the small meeting room near the utility closet. It is more of a celebration of a life lived to the fullest. It is a feast to pay tribute to the family matriarch who prepared some of the dishes herself shortly before her trip to the hospital. They are a noisy bunch, however. Their voices carry down the hall and the music from the old country blasts throughout the wing. The head nurse repeatedly must tell them to quiet down. Tomo and Tiny waste no time filling their plates with every selection of pasta, antipasti, and sweets. Tomo comments, _"At least this patient knows how to die in style."_

Across the floor in the private room, there is no deathbed banquet for patient 620C.

Another patient rests peacefully in her private room across the floor at the end the corridor. She holds on to life. Someone must adore her because she has a visitor who reads to her everyday. The new nurse never gets to see her or her visitor. Another team of nurses tends to her at a smaller nurses' station at this end of the floor.

She tells her doctors and nurses that she sees angels. At other times, she can be heard talking in her sleep to someone. She appears to be engaged in a happy conversation.

Someone walks into the room to adjust the pain medication for patient 620C. A 3-foot tall lemon tree plant is on the sill of the large window of his spartan room. Colorful stones anchor the roots of the small tree. Soil is prohibited in the ICU. A one-foot tall figure of a Jedi saint sits cattycorner on the windowsill. His nurse brings it in one morning believing the room needed cheering up. None of the staff expected him to live through the night when he first arrived. He drifts in and out of his deep sleep at infrequent intervals. He is sometimes asleep for hours or days.

In spite of his critical state, patient 620C's vision is perfect. He has an excellent view of the Jedi Temple in the distance. Construction workers are securing the last of the scaffolding in order to begin a major reconstruction project. Since the infamous 'Battle on Endor,' citizens and Jedi in hiding resurfaced to reclaim and rebuild Coruscant.

A beautiful aria duet fills the room. The sopranos sing of sweet breezes and an evening in the pine groves as they scheme to lure the other's philandering husband to a rendezvous. This is patient 620C's favorite aria. The morning sun splashes through the window. The heart monitor beeps slowly but steadily. The veteran nightshift nurse will check it again when she arrives. This nurse will not spend as much time with this patient as the current nurse on duty. The nightshift nurse is just as efficient but appears to lack the bedside manner as her younger colleague.

'_One Month Earlier'_

The mystery patient arrives under deep cover during the early hours of the morning almost one month before. An unsuspecting intern meets the shuttle carrying the patient to the morgue entrance. The second year medical student thinks it is just another cadaver for the medical school. He is curious about the secret entourage. He figures the special detail is for some rich crackpot donating his body to science but no one is offering any information. He hates this shift anyway. There is no one to talk to there.

Fortunately, for him, one of the doctors tells decides that his work is done for the evening. The doctor sends the med student upstairs to the lab to move some equipment. The new assignment is preferable. At least in the lab, he can listen to his E-Pod and everyone up there is amongst the living. He dutifully exits through the interior doors leading to a long hall up to the Research Wing. The senior Jedi waves his hand to make the student forget about this moment. Elite soldiers from the Rebel Forces guard the landing bay.

A select team of doctors stands by, not knowing what to expect. They are sworn to secrecy as a favor to General Carlist Rieekan. The only other witness is a senior Jedi advisor who stands by and to collect the remains of the black life sustaining body armor.

The doctors cannot believe whom they have before them in the eerily cavernous morgue room. The Jedi official asks that they keep an open mind and forget what they know about this infamous figure lying on the stainless steel table, and, if possible show some compassion as their profession requires. They must work quickly. Only three hours remain before dawn.

The patient is prepped and treated before transfer upstairs to the Intensive Care Unit. The doctors use the blue morgue rubber glove to wash and prepare his body, stripping it of its' cybernetic limbs with the exception of the left forearm. They immediately hook him up to a new life-support machine. The process is executed professionally and without the pain that the patient endured when the armored casing was first attached. Patient 620C is ready for transfer to the ICU. Without incident, the patient arrives to his assigned room ten minutes before sunrise. The ICU is quiet. There is no staff in the immediate area. He looks as normal as most of the other patients…almost.

The head nurse returns to the nurse's station and discovers a new chart. She knows everything about every patient in the ICU; that is why it is highly irregular that this previously unused flat panel monitor beeps. The vital stats crawl across the screen. No one else is at the station. She is alone and speaks to herself as she watches the flat panel.

"Well, who do we have here? This is highly unusual. You slipped in here without my knowing. I guess I'll have to pay you a visit."

'_The Long Sleep'_

During any given time of day, the front desk and break room of the ICU is filled with laughter. Conversation drifts from entertainment to politics and the state of the galaxy post-Palpatine and Vader. It has been a month and news reports confirm that the two overlords of the galaxy perished onboard the second Death Star. The consensus is that this is a befitting death of the Dark Emperor and his dark-cloaked enforcer of destruction and despair.

The new shift arrives on the floor. The young nurse checks the I.V. drip again on the patient known as 620C. The drops of liquid drop at a slower pace now. The patient has been in ICU for weeks drifting in and out of consciousness.

That morning two visitors arrive. It is a young man and young woman in their early twenties. They have been visiting everyday since his arrival. The nurse looks towards the door and smiles softly. She recognizes them immediately.

"Good morning."

The young man speaks.

"Good morning. How is he today?"

"He's a little groggy right now. He's had a restless night so we increased his medication. He's just waking up."

"Can he hear us?"

"Yes, he can….oh, and just as we speak. I think he knew you were coming." She looks into the eyes of her patient. A light blue cotton cap covers his head. He manages to smile up at her through his oxygen mask. The young man walks close to the bed so the patient can see his face.

"Wow, he's smiling. I've never seen him do that until you first arrived. What's in that I.V. drip? Dad, you're really flying, aren't you? I think you're hanging on for the endless drug supply."

"He's glad to see you."

"No, he's glad to see you. I've never seen him respond to any of the staff the way he has with you. He's usually agitated when the other nurses tend to him."

The nurse smiles as she checks the heart monitor.

"Oh, you're referring to his good friend Nurse Mildred? I think they have this love-hate relationship going on. The facial expressions he makes when he sees her are priceless."

"You've made a big difference. I believe that's why he's been hanging on for so long. We…my sister and I want to thank you for being so flexible with your schedule. He seems to become more alert when you're around."

"I'm happy to be of some help. I'll try to spend as much time with him as I can. I know you do too. Whatever time you have with him is precious."

The young woman with him does not speak. She stands at the foot of the bed. There is pain and confusion on her face as if she cannot decide what emotions, if any, she should reveal. She scratches her eyebrow. The patient makes eye contact with her. He appears to understand her hesitation to come closer. She lets out a melancholy sigh then turns away. The young man speaks again.

"Has he said anything since we left him yesterday?"

The nurse can only guess what torment the brother and sister are going through right now.

"He was trying to speak but I only managed to write down a few words before he started to have problems breathing. He's a bit stubborn. We put him back on the ventilator. He doesn't like that thing."

"I know."

The patient looks a lot differently since his clandestine arrival a month ago. He lies in the bed with the remains of his upper legs hidden under the sheets and thermal blanket. It has been over two decades now. That is the last time he last stood on his own beautiful strong legs. It does not matter now. He is leaving this world.

The remaining left mechanical arm is still functional. Even though his mobility is limited, having the mechanical arm allows him freedom to communicate, especially since he has difficulty speaking. His skin regains some of its normal color, however, the skin is still and shows signs of old scalp and facial wounds as well as a few fully healed third degree burn scars over the torso. A sterile cotton hospital gown is his only apparel.

By week three, it was obvious that the number on the door sparked more curiosity than intended. The young visitor had the number removed after a polite but urgent request to the doctor. By midday during that third week, a new engraved nameplate is inserted to look like the others in the ICU. The plate on the door now reads:

Room 716

Patient# 620C

Patient Name: A. Skywalker

The nurse adjusts the cap on his head. He looks helpless but he does not seem to mind her doing this. She smiles then turns to the young visitors. They are not much older than she is.

"Luke, I think he's gotten over being ashamed of anyone seeing him like this during the past few weeks."

Luke nods in agreement.

"Yes."

The nurse remembers his question he asked just a few moments ago. She opens the drawer beside the bed, and pulls out a small writing tablet.

"Oh, before I forget, here's the message. I wrote it down yesterday after you left. Does it mean anything to you?"

The young man takes the tablet and reads the words, moving his lips but not uttering a sound. He shakes his head confused.

"Dune Sea…I know the place but if it's about Obi-Wan, all of the old master's things have been taken to a safe storage facility. There's nothing there. Did he say anything else?"

"No. He was heavily medicated at the time and he was drifting in and out of consciousness. It was as if he was having a conversation with someone else. He wasn't making any sense most of the time."

"At least he's not in any pain right?"

"He's not. We're keeping him comfortable. We adjust the I.V. drip every few hours. He gets a little agitated sometimes but he seems blissful right now."

"I noticed. He was actually laughing in his sleep the other day. He must have been having a whopper of a dream." Luke glances over at his sister. She remains quiet. The nurse smiles at them.

"Today you're lucky to see him awake."

"I'm sorry to keep asking every time we visit but he's been lingering here for so long."

"Your concern is perfectly understandable. None of the doctors can explain it. He has surprised all of us. Sometimes he's sleeps so soundly he sets off the alarm on the life-support monitor."

"Is it a side effect of the sedative?"

"It could be. Everyone reacts differently. It's common, as the patient gets closer to his time, he may exhibit a sense of euphoria and sometimes there is involuntary laughter or crying but he's asleep most of the time.

Luke and Leia remain in the room for about an hour then leave for a short time. They join Han in the cafeteria while the male nurses bath their father and prepare the bed with fresh linens.

'_I Get Boarded Sometimes Too'_

The twins return with Han after an hour. They enter the room to hold vigil. Their father is in a deep sleep. Han chooses to remain outside pacing the floor. Occasionally, he glances up at the clock in the nurse's station. This situation is difficult for him to comprehend. He recalls his reaction when Luke tells him of the secret he has been keeping. It is shortly after the Battle on Endor. Luke begs Han never to divulge this information. Han stares at Luke in silence for a moment. He loses his temper.

"And you're just telling me this now?"

Luke was hoping Han would not react this way but he is not surprised.

"I thought you'd understand."

"I don't understand how you could take care of a maniac who tried to kill you…he sure tried to kill me! What about Leia? I can't believe she's feeling magnanimous about the news."

"I want her to come with me …He's our father. He's dying."

"Then why leave now? If he's dying, let him get on with it. Spare us the inconvenience."

"I don't want him to die here."

"I won't let you put her through this. She's not going with you."

The Rebel fleet is gathering just beyond the brush to celebrate the destruction of the Death Star with the Ewoks. The beating of drums and some primitive instruments can be heard in the distance. Luke is prepared to accept the idea that he may have to make the journey alone. Suddenly, Leia appears on the walkway, stepping into the glow of the moonlight. The bow of a tree casts a leafy shadow across the front of her robe. The leaves resemble hands grabbing at her.

"I'll go."

This infuriates Han. He sees Leia as a pawn in this game. Leia does not appear eager to take this journey but she does feel a duty to her brother. She does not waver. Han feels as if he has lost again. He scratches his head and then spins around to Luke.

"This is just great! So, I suppose you want to use my ship."

"We're losing time. I'd rather not use the Imperial shuttle. General Rieekan has a shuttle but it won't be ready in time."

Han begrudgingly gives in then walks ahead of Luke. Han is doing something he does not want to do but agrees to keep the secret.

"Fine! Let's go."

The Millennium Falcon rests in a bald part of the forest floor. Han finds Chewbacca and tells him to start the ship. Chewy asks why the urgency. Han barks back defensively.

"Just do it, Chewy!" He regrets using this tone with his friend. He turns around for a moment, barely looking at Chewbacca. Han is almost apologetic. "Listen, you really don't want to know. Trust me on this."

Chewbacca never sees the mystery cargo as it is loaded onto the Falcon. He trusts Han and figures there is a good reason that his longtime friend will not share the secret of the cargo hold. Chewbacca never asks about it again.

Luke and the others quietly exit the celebration on Endor. He and his sister instruct the droids to go ahead of them and board the ship. He tells them to shut down until they are in flight.

Luke makes a rendezvous with Han and transports the medevac capsule containing the comatose body of his father. The black helmet rests at the foot of the gurney. Han watches along with Luke and Leia as the capsule is loaded onto the Millennium Falcon in the cargo hold under the cover of darkness. He is speechless as the near lifeless body rolls pass him.

Luke, Leia, Han, Chewy, and the droids blast into warp speed to the Core Worlds with their secret payload. Very little is said during the journey. Luke is not sure whether his father would survive the trip to the place where Anakin Skywalker's career as a Jedi began.

_- Back to the Present in the ICU -_

After a few hours, Luke and Leia leave. The nurse glances out the window as she adjusts the pillows on the left side of the bed. The patient opens his eyes. The nurse is preparing to end her shift. She is about to head out of the room.

Her sleeping patient becomes agitated. She hurries back to his side and checks the morphine drip. He uses his remaining mechanical arm to hold onto her nurses' jacket. He turns his head against the pillow to try to loosen the oxygen mask. He wants to speak. She removes the tube from his throat. He coughs. She cradles his head in her arms to prevent him from going into a violent spasm. She could have alerted the _'dubious dynamic duo'_ Tomo and Tiny but she would never think of tearing the two away from their holovids. It is easier to handle the situation herself.

He regains control of himself and manages a raspy whisper. She leans in close so she can hear him speak. He can smell the gentle scent of freesia in her hair. She tried to wash it out the day before since scented soaps and cosmetics are forbidden in this part of the hospital. As he tilts his head to whisper in her ear, he feels a soft lock of her hair as it brushes against his cheek. It has been many year since he felt the scent of a woman or feel his skin against one. It feels nice…comforting.

"Write a message for me..."

"Of course, sir." She nods and looks into his clear blue eyes.

Tomo and Tiny are still in the break room watching the plasma. There is nothing else for them to do now. Their laughter carries out into the main corridor. They have been channel surfing most of the day shift. Anakin can count how many holovids they have watched today. It is vintage cinema day featuring classic comedies. Anakin recalls each holovid as if he had lived the life of the main character.

His nurse closes the door and sits down to take dictation of the letters. She needs quiet if she is to understand her patient when he tries to speak.

The session takes about an hour, as he needs to use the ventilator every ten minutes. She uses the high quality notepaper given to her by her mother. She used this same paper to send 'thank-you' notes to relatives and friends who gave her graduation gifts.

The doctor stops by to reinsert his breathing tube. It is frustrating not to have the power to refuse. The nurse suggests to the doctor to use the ventilator only so he may still be able to speak. She promises to monitor it. Anakin is not fond of the ventilator either but it is the better choice. He is helpless without her to make his wishes known. He is grateful for her.

She reads each letter back to him. She has the patience of a saint. He nods and looks at her to confirm his approval.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, Sir." She hesitates for a moment, not wanting to agitate him or to cause him any undue discomfort. She is about to slip the last letter into a matching blue envelope then hesitates. "Excuse me sir, do you really want to say this to your daughter?"

He manages a rare smile across his face. She detects a mischievous streak in him. He seems proud of himself too. It amazes her that through all his pain and suffering he maintains a sense of humor. He lets out an exhausted sigh.

"Stay with me." His voice is shallow and raspy.

She thinks of something and leaves for a minute. His nurse returns quickly with something to soothe his dry throat. She peels off the wrapper to a lemon sorbet on a stick and holds it to his lips. The first taste does the trick as this refreshing treat lights up the taste buds on his tongue. It is the first real food he has had in years that was not pureed, goopy mess. It is sweet, tangy, and refreshingly cool. He manages to finish every bit of it. She holds a straw to his lips and offers him some water. He takes a few sips. He wishes he were well enough to enjoy this once more.

She slips the oxygen mask back over his face after hearing his labored breathing. He moves it off of his face when she is not looking.

His vital signs are failing. The attending physician on the late shift examines him one last time. Anakin has used all of his energy to dictate the letters. His nurse leans in close so he does not have to exert himself when he speaks.

"Shall I call your children?"

"No…Not yet…after. They will know."

"I can call them back. They're just across town."

"No" His voice is weak but it is clear enough to tell her he has made up his mind.

"Don't you want them here? You shouldn't be alone."

He is too weak and has difficulty speaking.

"I'm…not…I...have...you."

She is technically off-duty that afternoon. The night shift nurse is about to report for duty and heads towards the room, Anakin becomes uneasy. The new nurse stands at the foot of the hospital bed and glances over at the patient.

This nurse is much older, perhaps in her mid-fifties. Her light brown hair is neatly combed away from her face into a matronly pageboy style just touching her shoulders. There is barely a gray strand visible. Her piercing gray eyes seem to study everything. She prefers the stark white nurses' uniforms to the soft pastels and print scrubs worn by the other nurses. She wears her nurses' pins proudly on the collar of her white top. She also prefers to wear the traditional nurses' cap. She wears white nuna leather shoes with skid proof rubber bottoms.

She speaks in a determined but even tone. If one did not know her, they would accuse her of being aloof or mean. Other staff fears her because of her austere manner and low tolerance for incompetence and tardiness. She was careful not to let the patients get the upper hand during her stay there. Tomo and Tiny joke behind her back and refer to her as 'Nurse Krayt Dragon.' They did not appreciate her throwing away their handwritten signs for the break room. She reminds them that the signs do not comply with the hospital rules on signage. All signage requests must go through her and administration. Tomo grips, "We're going back to the 'dark times' with 'Darth Nightingale." Mildred is nonplused. Her reply, "Sticks and stones, boys. Sticks and stones." Tiny jokes under his breath, "I can arrange a stoning. Old witch!"

"I heard that. Want to try for a weeks' suspension without pay?"

The _'sumo duo'_ remains quiet.

In previous years, her nursing rotation included the psychiatric ward, which claimed residents such as Jorus C'baoth and Elan Sleazebaggano. The hospital administration believed the transfer to ICU would do her good.

"Good evening. How's _'Mr. Charming'_ doing tonight?"

The comment is characteristic of her dry wit and not intended to be mean. Her patient understands her only too well. Mildred's protégé smiles softly as she looks up from her book.

"Oh, hi, Mildred. He's holding his own. He's full of surprises."

"I bet."

Isabel is about to get up from the chair.

"You know, I could stay with him if you want to make your rounds."

Mildred smiles then nods knowingly.

"Why? Did _'Mr. Charming'_ complain about me again?"

The young nurse replies quickly.

"He's never complained."

"Oh, of course not. He's the ideal patient…when he wakes up he's got an attitude. I see that look he gives me when I walk into his room. He loves giving me the evil eye. I didn't know he had the strength."

The young nurse smiles.

"He didn't give you the evil eye."

"Oh yes he did. Didn't you, 'Sparky'?" She looks at their patient and winks. He barely opens his eyes in response. Mildred knows he hears her but continues her chat with Isabel. "He adores you. Young and pretty win every time." Mildred enters data into the computerized and then adjusts the morphine drip. This will keep him good and quiet while she does her rounds. He drifts off to sleep. She places the oxygen mask back on his face the turns to Isabel. "Hey, don't you have someplace to go tonight?"

Isabel is torn between leaving a patient alone to die in the night and abandoning people in her personal life again. She has missed her parent's anniversary party working this crazy schedule. The only time of late that she actually speaks to them is late night or early morning while she sits at her patient's bedside on her mobile. Her patient listens as her mother gently nags. He learns about her non-existent social life since changing her shift or why didn't she wasted two degrees to take a job that nobody wants. Tomo and Tiny laughingly refer to it as the dead zone job. This is where all the patients will soon die.

Nurse Mildred looks at their sleeping patient. She notices that the corner of the sheet at the foot of the bed is not folded properly. He would not have noticed the hanging sheet since he is missing his lower extremities but a nice gesture nonetheless. Damn it! She had to do it! That witch did something nice. If he were strong enough, he would have Force choked her for laughs. It has been years since anyone has shown him kindness. He may as well behave. She makes the adjustment and then looks at her younger colleague sitting in the chair.

"Did you know he used to be a Jedi Knight? One of the orderlies ran his name through the online search. Those two screw-ups actually did something useful."

"Really?

"It turns out he was quite the hero back then. Curious though, his biography ends during the destruction across the galaxy after the Clone Wars. He seems to have dropped off the map after that. I wonder where he's been all this time."

"It's possibly he was a prisoner of war or held hostage until he was freed by the rebel forces."

"That's possible. If that's what happened, they showed no mercy leaving him like this for years. His injuries are at least 20 years old. Makes you wonder, eh?"

"It's inhumane. I'm glad the Empire has been destroyed."

"You're right about that. Heartless bastards."

Isabel thinks of something.

"Oh, he needs to be turned. Is it on his chart?"

"Yes it is. The guys will be in here soon." Mildred smiles then smoothes her hand over the thermal blanket. "You're doing a good thing…spending time with him and all."

"Thanks."

"It won't last you know."

"What's that?"

"You're young and naïve. You believe you can save the galaxy. After a couple of years of this, you'll grow disillusioned like the rest of us. You'll start to wonder why you wasted your time caring. There's only so much you can do for them…but I respect your effort. "

Mildred looks at their patient again then glances over to her protégé. There is a hint of humanity in Mildred's voice. She is not the harsh witch everyone whispers about on the floor. She immediately switches back no-nonsense demeanor, grabs a sealed packet and pulls out a sterile face cloth. Mildred gingerly cleans the patient's face, replaces his oxygen mask, and leaves the room to complete her rounds. This face washing catches him by surprise. What did she do that for? He would belt her if her could.

Anakin Skywalker is privy to lots of these conversations every night. Somehow, the conversations become incorporated into his dreams as his morphine drip courses though his veins. No one gives the dying much credit for knowing things. They would be ignored altogether were it not for the fact that it is their job to care for them in these last days.

His naïve young nurse has sympathy for him. He can still use the Force to read her thoughts. He knows more about her family than he expected. Most of what he hears is funny and touching. She has two parents who love her and worry about their daughter. He would give her some fatherly advice if he could. Unfortunately, he has failed miserably in this area with his own kids.

Isabel is fresh out of nursing school and this is her first real rotation in ICU. She had already broken three dates with two doctors and an old boyfriend from the Bioresearch department at Coruscant University. Now she is on a 'date' with a patient.

Anakin senses the other patients on the floor. He knows about the patient at the end of the corridor. The room is occupied by and elderly woman in her mid-seventies. Her devoted husband of over fifty years visits her everyday. Today her family members gather around her. She has lived a full and happy life. Her perfectly coiffed white hair frames a sweet grandmotherly face. She looks as if she is asleep in her bed at home.

Isabel spends the night in the recliner beside her patient's bed. She tries reading a novel she will never finish.

'_Good Morning, Starshine' _

The sun rises at 6:03 that day. Anakin Skywalker opens his eyes. His favorite nurse is still there. She has tied her hair into a ponytail.

She looks over at him and smiles. He has made it through another night.

He turns his head to the large window in his room. The soft blue knitted cap works its way off his head. It is a beautiful day. Speeders start the morning rush hour queuing up the onramp in the distance all head towards the expressway.

The Jedi Temple looks resplendent in the morning sun, scaffolding, and all. His favorite lemon tree plant is just where it should be in the sunny window. The ventilator churns but the oxygen mask is no longer on his face. She knew she placed it on him before she fell asleep in the chair. She did.

The sun appears high above the Coruscant skyline, this time he wants to greet the morning like a normal human being again. The heart monitor gives a warning beep. It will give off another warning if the heartbeat does not synch with the machine in the next ten seconds. He wanted to see the light. He struggles to speak. His voice is soft but it is clear. He is even surprised to hear his normal speaking voice after so many years. He no longer feels any pain. His breathing feels normal. His favorite nurse is there. All is right with the galaxy.

She sits up and takes notice. The novel she was reading during the vigil slides off her lap and onto the floor. The sunlight gives off a magical glow to the room. He turns his head and looks at her.

"Good morning."

Isabel is surprised how clear his voice is. She finally responds.

"Good morning."

"It's a nice day for a walk."

"Yes, it is."

"Remember me." He manages a faint smile then closes his eyes. The alarm sounds on the life support monitor.

Luke and Leia arrive just as this happens. Leia's eyes well up with tears. She has just lost the father she never really knew. She has been visiting this broken and bedridden man for the past month. Her feelings from the day Luke informed her of their heritage on Endor started as horrified denial, and anger to hurt and sadness. She looks distraught. Why should she mourn for this man who has caused so much suffering over the years? This man watched as her adoptive parents and close friends perished on Alderaan and did nothing to stop it. How could he claim to love her? How could he expect her to love him? Things could have been so different. Now she stands before this man on his deathbed.

Luke walks over to the bedside and touches his father's scarred face. It looks so peaceful, so angelic. Luke kisses Anakin then walks over to embrace his sister. They cry together.

Han is standing just outside the room looking through the glass doors. He leaves the droids downstairs with Chewy. Han looks helpless as he sees the pain on Leia's face but this is not the time for him to be in there. It was a time for Luke and Leia to console one another. He would hold Leia later. She would need him.

Anakin's nurse speaks to them for a moment then leaves the room. She hands the letters to Luke. The doctor arrives and signs the chart for the time of death. The last words from the nurse to them were, "He didn't suffer. He was at peace and he was smiling."

Leia hugs her. "Thank you." Leia is relieved of this overwhelming burden of the past month.

Anakin's body is prepared for removal. Luke and Leia spend some time in the bereavement room down the hall chatting with the doctor and a counselor. A short time passes. Han meets with the twins and return to the hospital room. Han has some pressing questions as he helps Luke and Leia gather the few items left in their father's hospital room.

"Luke, what is the real reason you're not burying your old man on Endor?"

"I thought it would be Endor too but things changed. It was his last wish. Something is drawing him to Coruscant. I can feel it. There will be some attendants waiting to remove the body for the ceremony."

Han sees the figure of the saint in the window. He picks it up and examines marble figure.

"Is this some sort of ancient idol?"

"It's a sacred Jedi relic."

"Worth anything?" He juggles it between his hands like a ball. Luke reaches for it fearing that Han will drop it. "I thought your Jedi artifacts would be bigger."

"I'll take that. Just because something is very small does not diminish its' importance."

"Okay, take it easy."

The droids are walking through the corridor towards the ICU wing. Artoo became impatient waiting in the lobby and he decides to take a trip up to the ICU to investigate. Threepio trails behind him.

"Artoo, we were given specific instructions to wait downstairs. What could you possibly need to investigate?"

Artoo ignores Threepio and continues pass the nurses station. He chirps as if he has discovered something. He finds Han in room 716. Han is still talking to Luke.

"What about the plant? Are we taking it?"

Luke is distracted by the view of the Jedi Temple in the distance.

"Yes. That goes as well."

"They're going to burn the plant too? I guess he wants that lemony-fresh scent. Is he taking everything with him to the grave? I'm surprised he's not taking Goldenrod with him for the big meltdown."

Threepio turns in shock.

"What?"

The droids were supposed to wait downstairs but Artoo is curious and decides to check things out for himself. Threepio protests all the way. Threepio takes pause to think of someone other than himself.

This is the first sign that Luke is feeling another wave of grief since the hospital. Han Solo is making him angry. He also notices that the droids are nearby when he snaps at Han.

"No! Damn it, Han! Can't you for once take this seriously? Geez!"

"I was just asking, kid…sorry." Han has never witnessed such an outburst from Luke.

Leia pats Han on the shoulder. He gets up and leaves. Leia wraps her arms around her brother. Luke stares ahead at nothing in particular.

"Luke, he didn't mean anything by it…that's just the way he deals. He makes jokes. You think this is any easier for him? We're all overwhelmed. It's okay to be upset but it's not Han's fault."

"Leia, when I was pulling his body…when we were escaping the space station…you could see in his eyes, he just wanted a better life than what he got…he wanted to live. He wanted an escape from all of this death."

Tears stream down his face. Leia tries to be understanding and comforting. She seems to have recovered from the initial shock. She feels her brother's pain but has no more tears to shed right now. She is just as exhausted as the rest of them after a seemingly never-ending battle against the Empire and then dealing with the recent tragic news of her father's identity and subsequent death.

"I know, Luke. I know." She tenderly sweeps a lock of his blond hair out of his face. Hey, we have to leave the room. There are Jedi waiting for us downstairs."

Tomo and Tiny stand outside the hospital room waiting for Luke, Leia, and Han to leave before entering to strip the bedding. All the equipment is covered with plastic and ready for hospital inspection. They are uncharacteristically quiet. They keep a respectful distance as Luke gathers his fathers' few possessions.

Han and Chewy land outside the courtyard of a Jedi Seminary. Three Jedi sextons open the cargo bay of the ship. Six Jedi monks who board the ship to retrieve the body greet them. Two priests greet Luke and Leia. Two of the monks help carry the lemon tree plant off the ship. Another monk carries the figure of the saint. There is a slow solemn procession through the courtyard to the ultimate destination, the funeral pyre. Han never plans to attend the services but Leia requests his presence.

Anakin's body has not yet passed into the light. His face looks peaceful as his body lies in repose on the pyre. He is wrapped in a Jedi burial robe. A ceremonial Jedi cloak covers his body from the neck down. After prayers and a few works from the Jedi priest, an elderly Jedi Master presents the twins with the folded cloak. It is not until the actual funeral does Anakin's body become one with the Force. It happens before the first embers touch his flesh.

Arrangements for a private memorial service in the Jedi Memorial Gardens are in motion.

At the end of this ceremony, the two monks deposit the cremated remains of the cybernetic arm into a plot of earth and replant the lemon tree. The little tree is planted at the end of a small reflecting pool.

Other Great Jedi has this as their final resting place. There is a long row of platinum cylinders, each standing one meter tall and engraved with the Jedi emblem. Luke reads the names of the other luminaries in this place of solemn honor. He stops in front of monuments for Aayla Secura, Ki Adi Mundi, and Mace Windu. He reads the engraved pillars. All perished during the massacre by the Empire. He notices the monuments to Jedi Masters Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda.

There are magnificent trees lining either side of the pool but the little lemon tree stands majestically with them. The taller trees appear to bend their boughs in deference to the lemon tree. After a few prayers, the priests chat one last time with the twins. The final resting place is befitting someone of great importance. Luke and Leia thank them before following Han back to his ship.

Han feels bad about keeping Chewbacca out of the loop. He takes his friend aside and tells him half of the truth. He owes him that much. The return and subsequent death of Anakin Skywalker elicits profound sympathy from the Wookie. He walks over to Leia and hugs her before she can refuse. She stares back at him. Instead of he usual retort, Leia returns the hug. Chewbacca finds Luke standing silently at the reflecting pool. The droids stand close by. Chewbacca gently strokes Luke's hair. The two shake hands as the Wookie utters his condolences.

The group soon head for the Millennium Falcon. Everyone sits quietly for several minutes. Suddenly Luke remembers something he has to do.

'_Folks, it's Time for Galactic Viewer Mail'_

'_Woulda Coulda Shoulda'_

Luke hands one of the letters to Leia. Leia reads the letter meant for her. It is intended for her to read when she is alone but she does not go far. She opens the note on the transport shuttle on their way back across town. Chewbacca is quiet as Luke and his sister read their letters. Threepio pats a somber Artoo on his dome.

"Oh, Artoo, if we had only known how much trouble our master was in…perhaps…things would have been different…I'm still somewhat fuzzy about the details revolving around the events twenty-four years ago. All I recall that day was him jumping in his ship to go on some foolish mission."

Artoo does not respond.

Leia wipes her brow as she stands alone in a corner reading her father's words.

_Dearest Leia,_

_I knew you couldn't wait to open this. What can I say? I wish I could have been a better father to you. Perhaps you would have made a better choice in a boyfriend. Carbonite comes in handy in these matters. So, you're really stuck on this nerfherder, aren't you? I should have taken more time to rethink my life. I regret that we did not meet under better circumstances; like a family dinner perhaps. Ha-Ha. _

_Love, Dad_

Leia is stunned for a moment. Her mouth drops open.

"What?" She turns slowly and walks towards Luke. "Luke, look what he wrote to me!"

Luke examines the letter and then slips it back into its envelope. He smiles.

"Well, Leia, he was heavily medicated."

Fine time for him to be funny. What did he say to you?" Leia grabs his letter.

"Hey! Wait, I haven't finished reading it yet!"

_Dear Luke,_

_I just want to apologize again for putting you and your sister through years of hardship and pain. I am a sorry excuse for a father. A good father should always leave his children something, money, land, words of wisdom, a legacy. Well, you've got two out of the four; But Luke, nothing compares to what you're in store for when you meet your future wife. Don't let her kick your ass. We're Skywalkers, damn it!'_

_Love, _

_Your Father_

"What the…future wife? What the heck is he talking about?"

Luke remembers to give Han a letter.

"Well, Han, this is as good a time as any."

Han reaches for the remaining blue envelope.

"Oh, I'm getting a letter from beyond the grave too? I can't wait to read what he has to say to me."

_Solo, _

_I knew you couldn't take this letter without making one of your wiseass remarks._

_Dipping you into Carbonite has not changed your attitude one bit. This is a good thing right now because Luke and Leia will need a good laugh on this sad day. You are sad, aren't you? Be good to Leia. One day, if you are feeling charitable, and in a forgiving mode, perhaps you and Leia can name one of your kids after me. I just have one question. What's with this fear snakes? Come on, really now.'_

_Your soon-to-be father-in-law_

Leia watches the expression change on Han's face. She is curious. Leia, momentarily, feeling more like her usual self, rips the letter from Han's fingers.

"Oh, Luke, you've got to read this. I think those painkillers have sent him over the edge. Han you're not afraid of snakes are you?"

"I don't know what he's talking about."

Chewbacca laughs. Han is not amused.

"Go ahead, laugh it up, fuzz ball!"

Threepio has another revelation as he turns to Artoo.

"You know; I was just thinking what an amazing coincidence this all is about the twins finding their long, lost father and, at the same time, that dastardly Darth Vader being killed on the Death Star. He probably had their poor father tortured and held captive as a prisoner of war. It's truly amazing how destiny works. Don't you think so?"

Artoo turns to Threepio, gives him a long look, and then shakes his head.

Meanwhile, a bizarre thing happens in the ICU at Coruscant University Hospital. Every comatose patient on the seventh floor dies all at the same time. There is a frantic rush from the break room and nurses' station. The patients were never expected to survive the month but no one expected it to happen like this. An investigation is pending. This is a terrible inconvenience to Tomo and Tiny. They miss their favorite program because they have to prepare each patient for the morgue. This is the busiest the two employees have been in a month.

Only three patients hold onto life. One patient in particular takes a miraculous turn. In fact, she seems to be improving. It is the sweet white-haired woman in the room down the hall. The other two patients are a mob kingpin and an exotic dancer.

That following night, after the funeral, something lures Luke back to the Jedi Temple. He sees the images of Master Yoda, 'Old Ben,' and, what he now knows as his father in the gardens. After a moment, they are gone.

'_A Walk to Remember'_

Thirty-six hours pass since room 716 was last occupied. Anakin Skywalker's nurse prepares to go home. She hasn't the strength to change into street clothes. She is given three well-deserved days off from work. Her patient was gone. His body was already at the Jedi Temple by now. It is already eleven o'clock in the morning.

The ICU is eerily quiet. The break room is empty. Three patient monitor remain operational. The vital statistics crawl across the screen. The readings are normal. There is not one distress signal. Mildred sits at the desk in the nurses' station.

"How are you doing, kiddo?"

"Tired."

"I hear that. Well, you have some comp time coming to you. Take the time to enjoy yourself."

"So, are they going to investigate?"

"I doubt it will amount to anything. None of those patients was expected to live as long as they did but they are moving the remaining patients upstairs. The Coruscant Centre for Hospital Investigation wants to examine the equipment on this floor."

"Will you join the staff upstairs?"

"No…I think I want to spend some time with the new living for awhile. After the last patient leaves this floor, I'm transferring to the maternity ward. It'll feel good to see new life come into this world after years of turmoil and death across the galaxy."

"I guess you're right."

"Take my lead and think about a career change for yourself. ICU and palliative care is not for you, my dear. You may think I'm a horrible person for saying this but you should find a nice young man and get married. You're too young to be around all of this death."

"I'll take that under advisement."

Isabel is not sure if she should be insulted or grateful for Mildred's unsolicited advice. Mildred pulls something from the stack of new mail. She hands Isabel an envelope.

"You have mail."

"Oh…thanks."

"You're welcome. Now get out of here. Go home."

Isabel agrees, gathers her things, and then leaves the building. On the way out of the sliding doors, she examines the envelope. The handwriting looks familiar. It belongs to Luke and Leia.

She walks down the street, planning to hail a taxi but she decides to stop for a minute to read the message outside where the sky is clear and the sweet scent of hydrangea fills the air. She sits on a bench at the taxi stand in front of the hospital square. As she reads the letter, tears roll down her face. She doesn't' know how long she has been crying but it must have been long enough to cause someone to notice.

She hears a man's voice. He is standing over her.

"Excuse me, are you alright?"

She should be startled but she is more embarrassed that someone has seen her crying. She quickly wipes away a tear as it rolls down her cheek.

"I'm ok. It's been a rough week."

"But you're crying..."

"I'm fine, really."

He points to the empty seat beside her as he hands her a tissue.

"Mind if I sit down? "

"No." She is about to take the tissue but he decides to wipe away her tears for her. She is embarrassed.

"I'm sorry. I must look ridiculous getting so emotional. A patient died a few days ago."

"Was it your fault?"

"No. His children wrote me a note."

"They complaining about the care you've given him? Don't tell me, this is your first year out of nursing school and you're facing a malpractice suit? How was your first kill?" He smiles.

The nerve of this stranger making light of this horrible moment. She takes the tissue from his hand. She prefers to dry her own tears.

"No! They were thanking me.

The stranger chuckles as if mocking her.

"So they asked you to kill him?"

She gives him a dirty look.

"Of course not!"

"I'm just asking. Listen, I know a few malpractice attorneys…"

He stops and tries to show his compassionate side. She obviously does not get his sense of humor.

"Sounds as if you've had a rough time of it. I'm sorry."

"I just felt so bad for them. They were the only family he had. He was terminal and he was so alone. He didn't want to die alone so I stayed late almost every night for the past month."

He scoffs at this claim.

"Awww, come on…Every night?"

"Well…not every night."

"Just as I suspected."

"Excuse me? Do I know you?"

"Oh, nothing…tell me more."

"I've watched this poor man suffering for the past month. Now I'm physically and emotionally drained. It was the first time in ICU and my patient dies. He could have been my father."

"That old, eh?" He clears his throat and makes an attempt to sound sincere. "Well that letter is proof they appreciate what you were able to do for him."

"I guess." She realizes he is looking over her shoulder trying to read the letter. She immediately folds it ad stuffs it into her purse. She gets up from the bench. "Well, I'd better be on my way."

"Hey, wait, Listen, I'm coming from visiting my grandmother. I'm free for the rest of the day. Would you join me for a cup of coffee?"

"I want to sleep. I don't want to stay awake."

"Can I offer you a ride home? My speeder is just over there." He points in points in the general direction to his right. This does not convince her to accept.

"Thank you but I don't accept rides from strangers especially from someone who insults me."

"What did I do?" He smiles sheepishly and confesses. "Never mind, I know what I did. Listen, we've been here chatting for several minutes now. We're far from strangers. Hey, I'm a good person. I'm sorry for insulting you."

She is starting to regroup.

"I still won't get in your speeder."

As she starts to walk away, he follows her, taking two long strides and is soon walking by her side. He grins then gets ahead of her. He begins to walk backwards wearing a silly grin. She blushes as he playfully taunts her. She unsuccessfully tries to dodge him while he continues to block her path. It is as if she is avoiding a plasma ball coming her way.

"See, I made you smile. Isabel, come on…"

She stops.

"How do you know my name?"

"You're still wearing your hospital I.D. badge." He points to the hospital security badge with the Galactic hologram embedded in the center. "Bel, come on, you're killing me here_. Listen,_ if you won't accept a ride in my speeder, because, I'm a stranger, I have another idea…._ It's a nice day for a walk._ Come on I'll walk you home. Don't leave me out here alone. Please?"

She is too tired to fight him. He does seem nice enough albeit persistent…and he did say 'please'. His words give her pause. Her patient said these very last words before he died.

"No! Alright, but we stay on the main street because I still don't know you. And don't walk so close."

"He smiles then bows politely, "Kainan Palpatine, your walking escort for the day."

"Wait…Palpatine? You're related to the former Emperor?"

He starts to laugh.

"No relation.…Just kidding. He's a crazy cousin of my father. Believe me; we have never condoned anything he's done. He's gone now, thank goodness. We don't have to worry about him anymore."

"So you say."

"Have I scared you away or will you give me a chance to prove myself to you? Listen, every family has a wacko relative they want to disown. "

"I don't."

"Well, aren't you special? Isabel. He's not a politician, certainly not a Sith Lord. We purposely remained out of the public spotlight to avoid this scrutiny. Unfortunately, they knew they couldn't hide forever. He's a simple businessman. My mother and father risked their lives helping the Rebellion. They provided funds for the equipment and weapons to defeat the Empire. My mother personally organized the food drive to people across the galaxy. She campaigned to help millions starved out of their communities by the Emperor and his legions. I'm a pawn in this just like everyone else. My own family went into hiding for years until the Emperor forgot about us. My father sensed the danger and severed all ties with him. I had to be shipped off to boarding school for my own protection. So, you see, I haven't had an easy life."

"Are you looking for pity now?"

"It's not easy being me. I know what it's like to be oppressed."

"So, what do you do?"

"I'm just a drone in the corporate world. I'm a worker bee just like you. Listen, I know how it is working for _'the man.'_ "

"Where do you work?"

"I work for my father. He's is an Industrialist on Naboo…" He sees the way she looks at him. "What??"

She looks at him and sees another rich pampered playboy. This is the last thing she needs.

"Rough life."

"Come on, be nice to me."

"I am. I haven't called the Coruscant Police yet."

"Wow, you look beautiful after being up half the night. Sooo…your brother's a cop?"

"I never said that."

"Someone like you always has a protective older brother to fend off undesirable not-so-gentlemanly-callers."

"He'll just rough you up and throw you in jail"

"Sounds like an invitation. You're beautiful."

"You're staring at me."

"That's because I see something beautiful in your eyes."

"What's that?"

"My unborn children."

She rolls her eyes. He definitely needs to work on his pickup lines. She storms off. This man is giving her the creeps.

"Ai yai-yai! Ok, that's it… I'm out of here. Excuse me."

He laughs and hurries after her. She cannot seem to shake him. She must not be walking fast enough or he is just faster than she is because he catches up to her by taking two long strides. He is now walking backwards in front of her again.

"Now, don't run away."

"Listen, Casanova, I'm not buying your lame pick-up lines."

"I can be quite persuasive."

"How old are you?"

He calculates for a moment.

"I'm twenty-four." He smiles proudly.

She mutters to herself.

"And he can count. Why do I get stuck with the geniuses?"

"How old are you?"

" Twenty….you always have a difficult time counting?"

"Not usually. Hey, were you being condescending just now?"

"Are you insulted enough to leave?"

"No. It's going to take a lot to rile me up today. I don't anger easily. Listen. I'm returning to Naboo tomorrow. My parents would love to meet you."

"Your parents don't even know me; besides, I'm busy."

"You have the next three days off. Aha! Don't think you can trick me."

"I never told you that….Fine! If I do this, will you leave me alone?"

"Well that doesn't make any sense. Do you have any idea how hard I'm been working to get to know you? It defeats the whole purpose."

Isabel had never done something so risky before. She would have refused but something he had said to her made her think. He felt drawn to him and she cannot find a way out of this. She rubs her temples. This is exhausting.

"Oh dear…Don't make me regret this."

A wide boastful grin creeps across his face. He is victorious.

"I won't. See? I knew you liked me." He walks beside her as they cross the street to the promenade at Coruscant Square Park. He turns to her with one last burning question. "Who's Casanova?"

'_The Homecoming'_

It is a day later. Two adult voices whisper from a window. The voices are of a man and a woman.

"Oh, Dear, she's absolutely stunning I'm going to answer the door."

"You go right ahead. I warn you; it's only going to annoy him."

"Aren't you going to join me at the door?"

"No, I certainly am not. I'm going to smoke my pipe and read the evening paper as I always do."

The man, ten years older than the woman, has married and started his family late in life. There are signs he is already set in his ways. He enters the family room and snaps open the Coruscant Times and puffs on his pipe. This is his daily ritual just before dinner.

Billows of sweet smoke from the pipe rise above the newspaper. The velveteen cuffs of his burgundy smoking jacket brush softly against the paper. His feet are firmly planted on the floor in their nuna leather house slippers. His wife glances back at him for a moment then continues to peer through the lace curtains. She waves him over without turning around. He is being stubborn but her persistence will eventually pay off.

"Dear, they're heading for the door. Get up!"

"Mimi, dear, no good can possibly come of this. He hates it when we spy on him. The last girl he brought home broke it off with him after two weeks. He drowned his sorrows by buying a new speeder."

"Well, she wasn't right for him. These things happen for a reason."

"Does it warrant buying a new speeder?"

"He was upset"

"To the tune of 40,000 credits? I'm his personal bank! Oh, bother! It's my luck in life to suffer. No one listens to me around here."

"What did you say, dear?"

"Oh, nothing."

"Let's make a good impression. I think this could be the one." His wife speaks in her firm yet soft voice. "Cecil, will you please put down that newspaper and get up?"

Her husband is just getting settled. He snaps the paper to get a good view of the editorial page (while creating an imaginary newspaper ray shield) and he is determined not to budge from his comfortable armchair. Perhaps if he remains very quiet, she will forget that he is there. The paper is his only protection from his family. His mane of snow-white hair is visible from the top of the newspaper. Suddenly, from behind the paper there is an audible sigh.

"Oh bother! Yes, Dear."

He closes his paper and rises from his 'throne,' the only place in the house where he used to have a little bit of power and whatever is left of it is dwindling fast.

"No wonder they call it 'the news'…It's news when everyone know what's going on in the galaxy but me!"

The paper lies pitifully across the chair arm. He was reading the ongoing coverage of the victory over the Empire. Finally! Some good news and no more of that doom and gloom he has been reading for the past several years. There is peace all over the galaxy except for his house.

He shuffles across the room to stand beside his wife as she peers through the curtains. Her soft brown hair is pulled back into a looped ponytail. It frames a kind and lovely face. It is held in place with a round sterling silver comb.

He mutters to himself

"I wish he would put as much enthusiasm in helping to run the company as he does finding a date."

"Give him some time. He's young still. He needs to rethink his life."

"What's he got to think about? We've sent him to the best schools. He needs to put that MBA to good use and help run the company. I want to retire."

"You have other people on the board whom you trust don't you?"

"Yes, and I have a few that I don't. The imbeciles! I want to position him to be first in line as partner. This is a family business after all."

"Oh, Cecil, he'll come on board when he's ready. Let him enjoy life first."

"That's all he's been doing for the past 24 years. Fine! I'll back off! Let the business crumble to the ground. Don't pay attention to me. I'm just the paranoid CEO."

The door swings open. Mimi cannot wait to greet their son. She had not seen her beautiful boy for several days. She and her husband hold the door as their son approaches the door with his guest.

'_To Dream…to cheat death'_

The son feels the soft, steady breeze as it whistles through the trees. He senses someone is watching them. He turns and lets the comforting breeze hit his face and blow through his blonde hair. A sly smile creeps across his face. He winks at someone who is not visible to the others around him. He takes one last look around before stepping across the threshold of his parent's house with the woman he has dreamt of for the past month. He makes the introductions as the door closes behind them.

_The ability to cheat death is a rare phenomenon.__ The Force is a powerful thing. It holds secrets only few know or understand. It takes time and patience. Master Yoda achieved the power to exist outside of the corporeal self. Through meditation, as did Obi-Wan Kenobi, and other Jedi Masters before. The young man had much to learn from his former mentor during the past month._

The trees sway in the breeze once more. Slowly, the specter of the one who discovered him appears in the twilight. He is tall and godlike; his long hair is pulled off his face and falls softly on his shoulders. His beard is just the way it looked years ago when he was part of the corporeal world. His translucent robe flows like gossamer wings. Two others join him.

'_The Force is a powerful ally. It surrounds us and possesses secrets few are able to unfold.'_

These words are engraved in the archway of the Jedi Cemetery on Coruscant.

It took a total of four weeks, five days, ten hours, and forty-seven minutes to achieve this from the confines of an ICU hospital bed what others sought and failed to achieve for a millennium.

'_There is the Force…there is love.'_

The 'One' always knew there was something special about the 9-year-old boy during their fateful meeting in that small town on Tatooine. The three Jedi Masters look on as their student steps across the threshold into a new life.

Luke is proud of the marker on his father's gravesite:

In Remembrance

One of the Greatest Jedi Knights of the Clone Wars

Here Lies Anakin Skywalker

Born: 41.9 BBY

Died: 4 ABY


	156. Chapter 156 Epilogue Part 2

EPILOGUE - Part 2

_EPILOGUE - Part 2_

'_Father and Son Reunion Is Only a Warp Speed Away'_

A month passes since the funeral of Anakin Skywalker. Luke gets on with his life. There exists a threat to the New Republic from entities bent on destroying the new Galactic Order. He remains on Coruscant to help restore the Jedi Temple and to recruit new Jedi. On this day, he prepares his ship for a rendezvous with Han to the Chommell Sector. The droids assist him with the repairs. The green Jedi Starfighter is a vintage ship about 24 years old.

The Force spirit of Obi-Wan Kenobi appeared to Luke one day and told him about it. The old Jedi Master had hidden it in a remote chamber on Mustafar to keep it out of the hands of the Sith. Threepio communicates with the navigation system while Artoo interfaces with the mainframe to calibrate the engine. It is a quiet morning. Luke checks the time. He figures he will need to work a bit faster if he is to meet Han on schedule.

He cranks the wrench a few turns to the right to tighten one of the bolts under hood. He senses he is not alone. Someone cast a shadow in the entrance of the hangar. A voice comes with it.

"Nice ship. Looks like a vintage model."

"Yeah…I upgraded it." His response to the strange is instantaneous. Usually he will pay more attention to strangers approaching him and have his light saber at the ready. He does not feel compelled to do this. He eventually looks up at his visitor. "Can I help you with something?"

"Oh…no…no... I was just passing by and I noticed this beauty." He points to the starfighter with all of its 'innards exposed. "I see you put new parts in it."

"Well…yeah I installed a new motherboard but the exterior is the same. I wanted to maintain the original look. It was my father's."

The stranger checks out the vehicle and runs his hand along the pristine body as if it were a beloved pet or precious jewel.

"Yeah...I know."

"You do?"

"I know how you would want to keep up the value. Need any help?"

"Do you know how to fix starships?"

"I've worked on my share of ships and speeders."

"I am in a hurry. Alright…sure, hold this while I insert this new warp drive."

"Seen a lot of action?"

"A bit. I was in a few battles against the Empire. I destroyed the first Death Star."

"Impressive."

"I guess. Were you with the resistance too?"

"No exactly." He quickly changes the subject. "Have you had these droids long?"

"Yeah. They've been with me since I was 18 years old. My uncle and I bought them on Tatooine. I recently discovered that they once belonged to my parents."

"Oh really? Cool."

"It is cool. My father died a month ago. Knowing that makes it special. I have something that belonged to them."

"So he did leave you something."

"I suppose you can say that."

Artoo stands in the corner keeping still but watches the stranger. The stranger knows he is being watched but continues his conversation with Luke. He leans against the wall of the hangar

.

"You wouldn't consider selling it would you?"

"The droid?"

"No. That protocol droid must be a real chatterbox. I don't think I could tolerate him for long. I meant the starfighter."

"Oh…no…never. It holds special meaning for me. It's worth more to me than money."

The stranger nods thoughtfully.

"Aha…fair enough."

"Why do you ask?"

"Oh…no reason. I consider myself a collector…as I said; I'm great at fixing things."

Luke looks at the stranger's perfect hands. He does not look as if he has fixed much of anything; and he sure does like to use the pronoun 'I' a lot.

'_Who Is That Unmasked Man?' _

'_A Fiery Starship with the speed of Light, _

_A cloud of stardust and a hearty, 'May the Force Be With You' - The Lone Jedi'_

Luke is certain that they have met before. Perhaps their paths crossed during one of his recent journeys but he is at a loss to recall when or where exactly.

Artoo finds this encounter unsettling as well but he does not fear any danger. He releases a long sigh with a series of hushed beeps. Threepio looks down at the little astromech droid.

"What is bothering you? What do you mean 'not so loud? You've been fidgety and anxious since that young man walked in here to chat with Master Luke." Artoo beeps something to him. Threepio dismisses his response as hysteria. "What do you mean? That's impossible!"

Luke tests the ships' computer. The rear beams light up. The display panel beeps. The ship hums soft and quiet like a new refrigerator. Luke jumps into the craft and observes the flashing lights on the dashboard. He looks through the windshield. He sees the stranger give a 'thumbs up' over the hood. Luke smiles with an air of satisfaction.

"It's perfect! Thanks."

"You're welcome. You have a great ship. Take good care of it. It will never let you down."

He gently but firmly lowers the hood of the ship. Luke nods.

"I will. Thank you."

"Well…I should be going."

"Ok. Nice meeting you."

"May the Force be with you."

"And also with you."

The stranger walks backwards out of the hangar. Luke is distracted for a moment by Artoo's beeps and chirps.

"What is it, Artoo? Yeah…Oh, wait!"

Luke turns back around to speak to the stranger. There is no one there. He had only turned away for a second. Where could he have gone? Luke rushes outside to the edge of the hangar leading to the tree-lined walkway. No one is there except for a few students heading towards the plaza to the Jedi Temple. The man seems to have vanished into thin air. Artoo follows Luke out towards the walkway. Luke is somewhat disappointed that he did not get the young man's name. He reaches for the wrench he left on the floor. Artoo watches his master and sighs. Luke walks over to Artoo to comfort him.

"I know, Artoo. Something seems oddly familiar about him to me too. It's as if…no, that's impossible."

Threepio joins them after taking a few tentative steps towards the entrance of the hangar. He walks back to stand at Luke's side.

"Who was that strange young man?"

"I don't know, Threepio. Come on. We still have work to do."

Threepio looks out onto the walkway once more the puts his golden fists at his waist.

"How rude! The nerve of him! He told me I was in pretty good shape for a droid my age!"

"I'm sure he meant it in a good way."

"Master Luke, are you aware of my memory ever being erased during the years that I have been in your service?"

"No, Threepio. Never. Why do you ask?"

"Artoo thought that young man's remarks were quite amusing. I fail to get the humor. Artoo, you sure did calm down when he turned on me."

Luke rolls his eyes. He notices that Artoo is more relaxed. It is Threepio he finds amusing now.

"Come on. Let's get this ship loaded. Han's going to complain for the next two days if we don't get a move-on."

Luke takes one last glance towards the entrance of the hangar then returns to his work.

'_Across the Expanded Universe…Nothing's Going to Change My World'_

Several years pass before Artoo reveals the secrets embedded in his back-up memory drive of events leading up to the Battle at Endor. Luke takes off in the star fighter for his rendezvous with Han. The young Jedi would never again meet the stranger who helped him with his ship that morning.

There is another big event during the year that Artoo releases the information. At the beginning of summer there is a great celestial event called the 'Jedi Starburst'. It is an amazing spectacle to behold. The phenomenon of the Northern Lights pales in comparison. Billions of people across the galaxy are waiting for this great miracle of the Force.

High in the heavens, as this event unfolds; the specters of three Jedi appear. As the Force Ghosts gradually fade into view, a discussion begins. The one with the long hair and beard speaks first. He seems to be the leader of the group. They seem to be waiting for someone.

'_Think he'll show up?'_

'_I bet he won't.'_

'_He'll show up. He always does.'_

'_Aayla, do you have that much faith in him?'_

'_Yes. Yes, I do. There's no show without him. He would never leave us hanging like this.'_

'_Girl, you're so naïve!'_

The specter with the long flowing hair and neatly cropped beard speaks again.

'_Alright everyone, let's give him a few more minutes.'_

'_Okay, but if he doesn't show up, this party's over. Look at the time. He's still late. We're supposed to do this together.'_

A fourth voice speaks. It sounds out of breath as if the non-corporeal part had been running for dear life.

'_Woooh! Did…I miss anything?'_

The specter of the last member of the group fades in and leans over. His elongated head dips between his knees as if he has just completed a 25k marathon. The tall baldheaded Force Ghost stares at him and rolls his eyes.

'_I knew it. Mofo's late again. You should get yourself a watch.'_

Their longhaired leader glances around at the other stars in the heavens and speaks firmly but gives the other Force Ghost a calm reminder.

'_Mace, language.'_

'_I apologize.' _He continues to direct his question to the latecomer._ 'Man, why are you out of breath?'_

_The late arrival catches his breath then speaks._

'_I'm ready, okay?'_

'_Finally! All of that huffin' and puffin'! You sound mofo ridiculous! You're a Force Ghost, you dig? You're supposed to be at one with the Force and all that 'sith.' You're supposed to appear as a majestic figure of wonderment. You're supposed to be beautiful! Instead, all we hear is wheezing and gaspin' Now no Jedi Padawan is gonna want to join the 'hereafter' once they get a load of you.'_

The latecomer responds.

'_Are you though?'_

'_Yes, wheezy.'_

'_Just for your 411, it's a 'Force of habit.' Before I died on Mygeeto, I had to fight off those Clone Troopers. They were supposed to be on our side. I had no idea they were working for the Empire. You're lucky you didn't share my experience. I was looking death in the eye.'_

'_Oh, so getting my hand lopped off and getting thrown from the window of the Emperor's penthouse office isn't traumatic?'_

'_I never said that.'_

'_You should look at the Jedi Archives of you running like a girl. That was some funny stuff!'_

_The leader of the 'Fab Four' waits patiently, checking his wrist for the imaginary watch. He sighs and rolls his eyes as the two continue to bicker._

'_Must we go through this every time? Are you through?'_

'_Yes. Sorry.'_

Aayla claps her hands then makes the announcement.

'_Okay, take your places! It's showtime everyone!'_

On this clear summer evening, the swirls of gold and white sky spin in the heavens like a pinwheel firecracker. The swirls break up into four groups of tiny stars across the dark sky forming four distinct constellations.

On the balcony rooftop of a vacation lake house, a young father gathers with three of his four children. They are all in their bedclothes peering up at the night sky. His wife has seen this spectacle before. The first time was on the day of their wedding. She is happy being a wife and mother. She abandoned her career as a critical care nurse. Mildred was right. This is the life for her.

The eldest child takes command of a high-powered astronomer's telescope.

"Dad! I see them! I see the 'Great Four'"

The next youngest pushes his way to the telescope to get a view.

"Wow! This is awesome. The constellations are moving, Dad!'

The youngest of the three is a little girl. The oldest boy regains control of the telescope blocking her view. She wastes no time to protest to her father.

"I want to see the _consolation_! Daddy! Li-An's hogging the telescope! I didn't get a turn."

"Relax! Everyone gets a chance to view it. If you look carefully, you can see it just fine without the telescope. Now, can anyone name each of them?"

The beautiful little girl raises her hand.

"I do! I know it Daddy. Uhm…Aurelia Secura Borealis, Windu Ordell Major, Qui-Gon Major, and Adi Cerea Tardus, because it always appears last."

The father smiles proudly at his only daughter.

"Very good, sweet pea."

"Thank you, Daddy. Now can I look through the telescope?"

"Yes you may, Ana-Le. Li-An, step aside and let your sister get a view."

"If you gave us a chance we would have gotten the answer right. And the word is _'constellation'_, crybaby."

Their father gives the eldest boy a warning.

"Hey, don't start. It's Ana-Lena's turn."

Ana-Lena tugs at her brother's hand.

"Lift me up so I can look though the scope."

"I might drop you." His father gives him a disapproving look. Li-An sighs then gives his little sister a boost. She is barely at the telescope for two minutes when her brother Alex taps her.

"Okay, that's long enough. Let me see. The Blue Milky Way is coming. Cool!"

Ana-Lena whines.

"But I only got a short look. Daddy!"

Their father keeps an eye on the door leading to the second floor. He does not want to wake his wife or his infant son. He gives the older children a final warning.

"Don't make me dismantle this thing. I'll send you all back to bed. Don't test me. I'm in deep enough trouble as it is with your mother for keeping you up past midnight."

"Well, actually, you woke us up. Dad. I thought you liked spending time with us. You said it makes you happy."

A voice came to a young Padawan named Anakin Skywalker during the Battle of Praesitlyn. The voice implored Anakin to spare the life of the surrendering Admiral. Afterwards, the voice, now revealed as that of Qui-Gon Jinn, said these words then repeated them as the fallen Jedi lay on his deathbed:

'_I cannot promise you happiness in this life, but you will find it in the next.'_

The young father smiles and kisses his son on the forehead

"It does. I am happy. Now behave." He looks up and speaks to the heavens as the children concentrate on the light show in the sky. "You kept your promise, Master. Thank you."

The starburst display can be seen across the galaxy. The images are closer now like a fireworks display. Everyone returns to bed happy to have seen one of the great wonders of the galaxy. The father enjoys peaceful sleep through the night for the remainder of his new mortal life.

In the quiet house, the Force Ghost of Qui-Gon Jinn appears in the nursery. He stands over the crib. The baby sleeps soundly.

'_Your father has done well. Sleep, little one. You will become a Jedi…like your father.' _

_**-END –**_


End file.
